#//it's only fair i post it now asdfghjkl

[thetisming]

zombie saga opposite deaths tumblr simulator!

🌹 beautiful-rose Follow

i want my boyfriend. i miss him so much that i feel like i'm going to die. and my brother died too and i have my best friend but i literally just can't talk to anyone right now i need Francois or Romeo i cant... i need my boyfriend.

🇫🇷 frenchbastard Follow

Aw, it is truly sweet how you're blogging about me. Because surely you could never mean any other Francois, correct? And I do not like the fact that you miss your brother, or that you have a best friend. I am right here. I am all you need.

🌹 beautiful-rose

right! um, yeah, sorry, i'll just- of course you're all i need. yeah

2 notes

🎨 depressed-artist Follow

I can't do this. I can't fall in love, I can't, that's not fair to Caroline. I could never fall in love so soon after losing her. I can't. I can't date him.

🟦 croptopman Follow

you're so correct you cant do that in fact i think you should never even consider dating anyone

1 note

🎶 yesimautisticstopaskingme Follow

FUCK FUCK FUCK WHY DID I DO THAT OH MY GOD THAT WAS SO STUPID HOLY SHIT I'M AN IDIOT

0 notes

🐯 hearmeroar Follow

why won't they talk to me? why are they leaving me? they only talk to that horrible fucking man, and i miss them and my fucking boyfriend just died and he was their brother, you'd think they would care!

0 notes

💙 francois-dubois Follow

Gosh I just love them so much, they're so perfect and beautiful and I don't think I could even live without them <33 I want to marry them one day

🌹 beautiful-rose Follow

aww, Francois! i love you too, I'm never leaving you my darling! and for future reference, if you proposed, i would say yes 💖

💙 francois-dubois

Asdfghjkl May!! I love you, I really do you're so amazing and magical and I can't imagine living without you. I'm never leaving you and I'm never letting anyone hurt you, my beloved 💙

🌹 beautiful-rose

you're so sweet, where are you so i can kiss you??

💙 francois-dubois

I'm just out the back! See you soon, amore 😘

🌹 beautiful-rose

fuck i just found this while scrolling his blog there were so many posts ljke this i miss him so fuckjng mych og mg god i need him back or i think i'll die her was the best boyfriend ecer i need him plwase just kjll me so i can be with him fuck

#he was so perfect #i cant even believe hes gone #he was my everything i mjzz him so much i cant do this anymore #i wish i had just killed myself that day #i cant go on like this i havent been talking to juliet because of my new boufriend #and romek is gone #and i havebt besn talking to anne either #i need him so bad holy shit i cant #i didnt even gst to marry him #at the very least couldn't i have done that #i miss gim so much i need him i need to hold him i can't. i nedd hiim #i love you my darling frankie

12 notes

🟦 croptopman Follow

I NEED TO STOP BEING IN LOVE WITH PEOPLE I CANT HAVE. first i stayed in love with Gregory after we broke up and now i love Charley and he's in love with some OTHER GUY NAMED RICHARD!

#gay #mlm #queer #vincian #unrequited love

1 note

🇫🇷 frenchbastard Follow

There is a truly beautiful woman at this camp. She is friends with my boyfriend. I must persue her, she is so gorgeous and her husband recently died.

💚 notthatone Follow

May is non binary stop calling them your boyfriend and STOP TRYING TO CHEAT ON THEM! They've been through so much, how fucking dare you try to hurt them?

🇫🇷 frenchbastard

You are so beautiful, sweet Anne.

🐯 hearmeroar Follow

you're a terrible fucking person and i hope May kills you because if they don't i fucking will.

🇫🇷 frenchbastard

So many marriagable women at this camp... You are simply gorgeous

🐯 hearmeroar

KILL YOURSELF

💚 notthatone

KILL YOURSELF

🎶 yesimautisticstopaskingme Follow

KILL YOURSELF

🦅 eaglegreetings Follow

KILL YOURSELF

🎨 depressed-artist Follow

KILL YOURSELF

🇮🇹 aromantic-annie Follow

KILL YOURSELF

🟦 croptopman Follow

KILL YOURSELF

🛸 inspector-abed Follow

kill yourself.

🇫🇷 frenchbastard

@.beautiful-rose, May, my darling, please tell these people to stop.

🌹 beautiful-rose Follow

please be nicer to him, he's been through a lot...

🇫🇷 frenchbastard

Good boy.

🐯 hearmeroar

you are the fucking worst and i genuinely hope you die.

22 notes

🛸 inspector-abed Follow

Troy, i know you can't see this, but i have a boyfriend now. his name is Del. i think you would have liked him. i miss you a lot. it's been a while since you died. i havent been happy at all since. Del makes me happy. i love you.

0 notes

[starofhisheart]

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR OFMD S2 EP6-7 under the cut

Ok, that was A LOT. I have so many feelings but no coherence so i'm gonna do this bullet point form but def not in order, just in order of me remembering wtf happened lol

-IZZY AND WEE JOHN IN DRAG!!!!! Wee John looked STUNNING with that Divine-esque appearance and Izzy had that transmasc drag king kind of thing going on (iykyk) that made me love him even more

-Izzy singing LA VI EN ROSE took me tf out!!! i'm glad he got to finish it after the *ahem* distractions bc Con's voice is so beautiful I could listen to it forever. We better get it in the album!!! Also someone posted the lyrics translated and i cannot get over the lyrics:

"It's him for me,/And me for him, for life/He told me, he swore to me, for life"

-But not only was he singing the second half had fucking gentlebeard doing the dirty in the next room asdfghjkl which.....was hot, ngl. The passion was electrifying. I'm sorta glad we didnt rlly see it with everything that happened after bc it all kinda left a bad taste in my mouth.

Also Stede Bonnet canonically gets turned on by violence confirmed

Or trauma. Whatever.

-What else happened in ep 6 cause all i can think of is drag and singing and sex-

-oh yeah there was that shortlived sexually-charged torturer who i distinctly recall him being in another scene in the promo so unless that got the cut perhaps he's not dead...?

-Lupete missing all the action cause they were doing the nasty all night lmao so real

-Jim best wingman (gender neutral)

-Stede...Stedey boy, can I call u that? Now i'm gonna say this nicely, but WHAT THE FUCK DUDE? Stede in his white guy w undue confidence era fr. Zheng Yi Sao was so right for what she did truly

-But in all seriousness i feel like this whole thing in ep 7 was such a parallel to s1 but also a very necessary bit of conflict in their journey together that was bound to happen. THey want different things and neither is wrong or right for that. Stede did react poorly tho but like he just had sex w the love of his life, his first man, and Ed the very next day is like "aight i'm out". I'd be pissed too. After killing someone which we know is a big trigger for him historically.

But Ed also had a valid reaction. He's wanted to retire for a while and stede knows this but it hasn't seemed to have sunk in quite yet. He fears that Stede only sees Blackbeard and...its fair of him to have that impression tbh. These are two messy, traumatized dudes who have never had a real relationship and there's gonna be bumps. I hope we get s3 so we can better explore that like Djenks wants.

-Ok back to the fun stuff:

-Izzy barging in on GB and the docking joke. love his cringefail ass.

-IZZY IS HAPPY FOR ED EVEN IF ITS NOT WITH HIM

#growth

-the edizzy apology which was so typical of them. i expected it but bc i'd been building it up in my head all week w twitter pals it felt a bit anticlimactic but thats not the shows fault. it was very much in character and if they're satisfied so am i. i always have fic for more

-stizzy commiserating over losing ed pls thats all i've ever wanted!!!!!

izzy: "when i told him i loved him he-"

stede, like he's heard this story before: "shot u yes"

and the look they gave each other after!!!!! stizzy nation how we feelin?!

-izzy being like "stede no" when he was on his macho bullshit w zheng yi sao (also motivated by trauma bc he just lost ed, he cant lose MORE family!!!). i just like how protective iz seems of stede now.

-izzy''s "you're good for him" CRYING THROWING UP ETCETERA

-ed catching 1 fish and deciding thats his life now. adhd realness fr

-the swede whew is it hot in here or is that just jackie's effect on her husbands?

-jackie and ed actin like old friends. swede highkey shading ed adfghjkl

-anyway im sure there's more but i need to rewatch. there r things i wont go into bc its possible spoilers for the finale (tho its mostly just speculation some is based on bts not everyone may have seen). i am looking forward to and terrified for the show to end next week thats all i'll say

[noviceaoiryusei]

FAN REPORT 「 Stunned 」

Hello! It has been a while.

Yesterday, Originally posted on my livejournal on February 25th was the last day of the musical Koihana Bakumeiroku starring Kihara Rui, Ueda Kandai among others AND I WATCHED IT via livestreaming of course. Lol. Honestly, I was hesitant of buying a ticket because of common problems like "is the live streaming available worldwide?" or "can I pay via cc?" and things like that. I'm glad that it was available for overseas livestreaming so this makes my FIRST LIVE MUSICAL. Don't get me wrong, okay? I watched two others last year (my firsts) but they are already archived ones SO TECHNICALLY THIS SHOW IS MY FIRST TO WATCH LIVE. ASDFGHJKL :(((((

Oh well anyway, sorry for the extra story so without a further ado, here's my fan report about Koihana Bakumeiroku musical.

「 Stunned 」

So fast forward to yesterday, I was nervous and at the same time with overflowing excitement watching my first live musical.

Opening act, Rui opened the scene with his monologue as he walked down the aisle going to the stage. As for the game connection, I think the script writer made a befitting act for the monologue. In the game, it wasn't really stated how Saito is thinking of his former master (Katamori-sama) so having it acted out at the opening was really a nice touch, I'd say. ✨✨

"Saito, you are bad at lying" -- Katsu said.

Enomoto is out of the prison with Mori sensei... for some reason a.k.a well-being. lol I loooooooove that Mori's actor is so playful and FAR MORE PLAYFUL THAN THE GAME ONES (for now, okay). Just fair judgment since I'm not playing Mori's route (blehhh).

As he was reminiscing his former days, Mori gave him sheets of paper to write about his memories.

AND THEN!!!! THE OPENING SONG!!!! IT SERIOUSLY GAVE ME CHILLS If I were at the venue, I would be sobbing hard for real. That's the power of Kihara Rui to me.

Now we travel to the past... Although it's not really time travelling but more of story telling. (I reconfirmed it with another fan) It's how Saito wrote the story and now it's executed at the stage.

Not to mention that I love the rivalry between Enomoto and Kido.

For the ensemble men, one of them appeared to Enomoto and he proceeded with his monologue. TO MY SURPRISE, as we go deep in the story, some of the ensemble men have lines!! They speak!! Oh my God!! It was actually something I wasn't expecting actually since the previous stages that I've watched, they usually speaks in chorus like AHHHHH IKUZOOOO WOOOOO something like that.

Speaking of ensemble men, I've got an eye candy amongst them. His name is JUN SATO. There's this one particular scene that I'd like to commend his acting with. It's the part with he and Kondo. His facial expression at that very moment was marked in my memory. The horror in his face mixed with sadness like damn! He really caught my attention at that very moment. I do wish he improves more in the upcoming productions and I hope I can watch him again.

Continuing, a new character was introduced and his name was JOHN. Fret not, I did my assignment on researching about Edward Snell which is also hard if you aren't searching the name in katakana. 🙄 Before that, when I saw the photos from official twitter I thought maybe this guy beside Edward is his older brother. Back then I still don't know who is the actor (it's not on official HP, okay). Two days before the final show, Fujita Rei posted a photo of him and John and I kept on zooming it because he looked familiar. 😅 And yes, to my surprise, HE'S THE SAME FREAKING PERSON AS THAT GUY PORTRAYING MORI WTF!? It like "oh, let's just cost reduct by hiring the same actor" production-wise. Lol.

And this is the fiction part of the story. History-wise, Mori and John are not the same person. As much as I would love to tell more about it, I'll end up spoiling it. orz

Oh well anyway, another thing that I love was Kondo and Hijikata relationship. uwu Kondo is the only person who can tame Hijikata like a puppy. :((( He becomes incredibly cute when Kondo is around. :((( Saito became like some sort of chaperone between the two (yeah, not a third party lol).

Moreover, they had depicted why Kirino was smitten to Saigo... in a most adorable way. :((( I just can't help but comment with Kirino's actor BECAUSE HE WAS GOOD LOOKING. Don't get me wrong, the Kirino is game is good looking too but I don't find him appealing... unfortunately. Following Kirino's profession of admiration, Kido also shared his. Kirino was amazed and even asked Kido about the man's whereabouts but unfortunately... he's already dead. 🥲 I think I forgot to run over spi. It's my first time watching him and I was... yes, smitten. His voice, his modulation, it was so amazing when he sang!

And also, I said that I like Enomoto and Kido's rivalry. Enomoto has more deep relationship with Katsu, I guess? I still have to do an assignment on their relationship.

Script-wise, I also happened to read the tweets of the script writer and how he commented on the casts too. Edward's twisted personality just originated with him yearning for a family. John really worn as grief looking face althrough out, it's as if he didn't really wish for this to happen.

*slams fist* I ENDED UP FOLLOWING KYOTEN WAKU FOR THIS!! FUUUUUCK *sighs in disbelief*

The last part is really full of action. The casts and the ensemble men really gave them all. Yes, there are camera angles that I can see all of them catching their breath lying down. Good job everyone. 👏👏👏👏

The last time that Saito and Hijikata meet, he was trying to recruit Saito to come along with him. Saito sticked to his belief and refused him. And!!!! The pop-ish song. I really like it. But heck, I cried hard over that song. I had a breakdown when he patted Saito's head.

"EVEN IF WE CROSS PATHS SOMEDAY, YOU GONNA SEARCH FOR YOUR OWN PATH"

HOW THE HECK I WOULD NOT BREAKDOWN, TELL ME!!!! :((((( --- And that wraps up my thoughts. There's still a lot to learn historical-wise. I was stunned with the production. The actors and the ensemble men we're all amazing. If I was at the venue, I would literally breakdown and cry. :(((( I'm glad to have bought the ticket. I'll treasure this forever.

[jennagrinsoverml]

hii do you have a list of miraculous fics you think everyone should read at least once?

Anon, I have been excited to answer this request ever since I got it. What better way to celebrate my 50th Rec List (!!!!) than with my favourite fandom fics? 🎉🎉🎉

I've tried to choose fics with a variety of tones, from different fandom eras, and different authors. These fics are all special to me in some way, and whittling this list down was HARD. Others may have fics they think should be on this list, and to those people I say: make your own rec list. This one's mine. 😘

Experimental Kisses by @komorebirei

Ladybug watched him. Maybe it was guilt, maybe sympathy, maybe a streak of playfulness. Maybe the traumatic akuma experience had softened her up. Whatever the reason, a thought wafted lazily through her mind and out of her mouth. “You know… you’re right. It isn’t fair, is it?”

Chat Noir looked up.

“I remember my first kiss, but you don’t.” She hummed and tapped her chin, making a show of remembering. “It wasn’t a bad kiss, but we were in the middle of fighting an akuma, so I didn’t get to enjoy it much, either.”

Oops—that came out sounding a little, no, a lot more flirty than she had intended. Anyway, if she was going to commit to this idea, she may as well go all in.

One-shot. Ladybug offers to kiss Chat since he doesn’t remember their kiss and the way she reacts to the kiss…it lives in my mind rent-free. I have fallen asleep many a night fantasizing about what the repercussions of the kiss might look like. One of my absolute favourite Ladynoir fics.

team is a four letter word by @ladyofthenoodle

Alya didn’t want to come between Ladybug and Chat Noir. But she didn’t want to stop being Rena Rouge either. And if Chat Noir didn’t want to talk to her, then she’d need to find a different way to prove all three of them could be a team.

Her plan unintentionally brings a few secrets to light, which leads to even more secrets coming to light, which leads to… well, Alya is sure it’ll all work out eventually.

Multi-chapter. Warning, this fic is a WIP! (But there���s only one chapter to go.) Honestly, I didn’t want to have any WIPs on this list and I was lowkey hoping that it would be finished before I posted this list but I’m obsessed with this one and couldn’t leave it off. It’s literally one of the BEST fics in the entire fandom and, I think, the absolute best delving into the characterization and relationship dynamics of the core four. This fic feels so dynamic and complex, with all of the characters feelings so like themselves and each having their own distinct voices. The conflict is so well done and so realistic. It’s such a fantastic tackling of the issues that came up in the last couple seasons and I cannot rave about it enough!!

œuf ouch owie by @ominousunflower

Chat Noir enlists Rena Rouge's help to create an Aspik illusion. Absolutely nothing goes wrong.

Ladybug smiles. “I wanted to drop by and welcome Aspik. I know it must be a little intimidating, being surrounded by so many veteran heroes…so, welcome! We’re glad to have you on board.”

“I look like an egg!” Aspik announces, T-posing.

Chat turns to Rena, feeling like he has been punched in the solar plexus. What the hell? he mouths.

Rena grimaces, her eyes wide with panic. Stomach sinking, Chat remembers one of the first things he learned about the Fox Miraculous: that if Rena Rouge isn’t focused, her illusions go haywire.

Oh, no.

One-shot. This is hands down the FUNNIEST fic in the entire fandom asdfghjkl like I have read this fic at least 50 times and I still laugh out loud every single time. If you have somehow failed to read this fic before, read it now. You won’t regret it!

lucky (we're in love in every way) by @carpisuns​

Chat Noir is Adrien, and Marinette is freaking out. If she manages to quiet her internal screaming, maybe she can also find the guts to tell him her identity too. And maybe they'll actually live happily ever after—well, as soon as Tikki and Plagg are done humiliating them.

One-shot. This fic just makes me so incredibly happy. Like it puts a smile on my face every single time I read it (and I have read it many, many times!) I love Marinette’s reactions and Adrien’s sweetness and the kwamis just absolutely ROASTING both of them. Marissa has written a ton of amazing fics for this fandom (seriously we are so lucky to have her) and I was tempted by others (like tell me something i don't know) but in the end, I had to follow my heart with this one.

Your Kitty by @gabriel-agreste-has-no-rights​

“Such a dramatic kitty.” Marinette scratched under his chin, bringing a smile to his face and a purr to his throat.

Your kitty, he didn’t say.

Wait. What?

(The one where Chat Noir thinks he needs pats like a cat, only to find out he may have jumped to the wrong conclusion.)

One-shot. When I think of Marichat, this is THE fic I think of. Adrien being touch starved is 100% my headcanon now. This is just so sweet! Marinette’s affection and Adrien’s determination to do the right thing no matter the personal cost and the way they fell for each other without meaning to... Also I love that they both encouraged the other to go back to their original crushes because that makes so much sense!!

rattle my cage by @lnc2​

In which history, despite Alya's best efforts, does not repeat itself.

One-shot. I am always here for Adrien being rash and Marinette being smart and capable and just switching to treating him as Chat absolutely seamlessly after a reveal. I absolutely love the vibes of this one.

Chasing the C/h/atwalk. by @runningoutofink

Paris. The city of lights, love and fashion. Follow the progress of Marinette Dupain Cheng as she enters the extremely competitive world of Reality television for a chance to be the winner of Project Runway: France.

Multi-chapter. It should come as no surprise by now that I’m a sucker for reality tv and this is my absolute favourite reality cross in the fandom! I love that it’s canon compliant, and frankly the idea of Marinette and Adrien as designer and model on Project Runway is friggin’ BRILLIANT. The slow burn and pining are delicious, and the identity reveal is incredibly well done! (And it has a steamy sequel, Meet me in the Middle, which is 🔥🔥🔥 and intensely satisfying after all of that build up.)

daydream by @clairelutra

you're my daydream

you know that i've been thinking about you lately

In which Adrien finds out Ladybug is Marinette, and beats the 'this is fine' dog at his own game.

One-shot. Shout-out to the author for realizing way before canon let on that Adrien is way more likely to figure out Marinette than the reverse! And then absolutely murdering us with this intense slow burn that absolutely drips with mutual pining and UST.

What Will You Do When Everyone Knows? by @sariahsue

They stepped in closer, shoulder to shoulder to catch the akuma as she landed, but she twisted in midair, landing squarely in front of Cat Noir, swiping at him. He stepped back, trying to keep his balance. Her fingertips almost touched his face, and Ladybug felt her stomach lurch.

“Duck!” she yelled to him as she whipped her yoyo around. He did, but unfortunately, the akuma woman did, too. Ladybug suddenly had no target to latch onto and lost her balance. Her stomach twisted again as she pitched forward. Black hands darted forward to catch her, but too late she realized it wasn’t her partner. Cold gloves caught her shoulder and neck, then slid up her face, brushing past her earrings. Cold. The woman’s touch froze Ladybug’s breath in her throat.

Then there was something warm around her middle. Cat Noir’s shout sounded distant as he pulled her away. As the woman’s black gloves left her face, Ladybug felt even more heat being pulled from her, along with… something else.

Multi-chapter. There really isn’t another fic in the fandom like this one. The akuma is original and provides an absolutely amazing premise for this fic. We have mystery, intrigue, and a huge upset to the status quo with the public revealing of Ladybug’s identity. I also loved the dramatic irony of Marinette being unable to understand Chat’s reactions to things that make perfect sense to us readers. It’s got amazing characterizations and suspense, and I love it!

But All I’m Seeing Is You by @chelseaapproved

After Ladybug finds out Adrien is her Chat Noir, they start dating. She didn’t think it’d be so hard to keep her identity a secret from him. She also didn’t realize how much it would affect her friendship with him as Marinette.

One-shot. This might be my favourite ladrien of all time. It’s only about 5k, but man does it ever pack in a lot of emotion and relationship development and I really, really, really love it.  I really felt how much they love each other in this one and Marinette is just so, so wonderful to Adrien and he’s so wonderful to her and if you haven’t already please read this.

A Miraculous Reveal by @kasienda​

Series of one-shots and drabbles all centered around The Reveal Moment. Identities will be revealed, feelings will be confessed, and secrets will be discovered through contrived situations, accidents, meddling friends, desperate moments, and moments of emotional vulnerability. Each chapter is a self contained piece. Love-square focused, but will not remain exclusive to them. Each chapter will have its own trigger warnings.

Collection of one-shots. I feel a little like I’m cheating in including a collection here, but like most of us in this fandom, I’m an absolute sucker for identity reveals, and @kasienda is especially talented at writing them! Every single one of these is beautiful, amazing and worth reading at least once.

the wonderful part of the mess that we made by heresie_irisee

They knew.

They knew, and there would be no magical reset button for the memories they'd made today. She'd have to  see him at school every day, and she'd see the Chat in him, as surely as  he'd see the Ladybug in her.

One-shot. Oblivio is probably my favourite episode and this is such a great alternate take on it. The mutual pining is so, so, so good! Especially love Marinette struggling to assimilate Adrien’s identities and Adrien’s obliviousness.

The following fics are amazing and absolutely worth reading, but do feature sexual content, so minors beware.

The Ladybugs and The Bees by @bullysquadess

AKA the early-fandom Ladynoir puberty fic that spiraled waaaaay out of proportion.

Multi-chapter. I’ve avoided reccing this fic for so long as it was literally the most kudosed fic in the entire fandom when I joined. However, the kudos are well-earned and I can’t make a list of must reads without including it. I love the ladynoir, the way it builds slowly, the focus on the developing relationship, both physical and otherwise, the yearning and the devotion and the vulnerability. And, of course, the steamy scenes are fantastic!! The whole thing is just so well developed and feels so grounded and real. I absolutely love it.

one night of moonlight by @mirthaculous

i’ll always think of you

inside of my private thoughts

i can imagine you

touching my private parts

2:13 ok im texting you now like i promised instead of drunktexting adrien and telling him how badly i want his cock tonight. arent you proud of me?

2:19 this is Adrien, hi.

Marinette’s brain-to-mouth filter isn’t great on the best of days. Add some beer and some misplaced texts, and things get a little more… interesting.

One-shot. Rated M. This is one of my favourite fics of all time. This is so steamy, seriously the UST is off the charts!! It is absolutely unreal how much these two want each other and the mutual pining and they’re so stupid and this fic literally killed me and I thanked it.

[disillusionedmonster]

tumblr is like my silly escape of the day

but it is so asdfghjkl tedious, like i have blocked all trans related tags, everything, every word thay i could think of

my dash is like 40-60% redacted by now (and i only click on view if it is posted by a radfem account, if i am in a headspace to read it)

but even so, there is trans stuff everywhere, everyone talking about nothing else, totally unrelated posts with additons 'also he is trans' or people just adding 'as a trans person' to stuff out of context

i am so deeply annoyed and i am starting to just hate them because they talk of NOTHING ELSE it is onyt trans this trans that trans bla bla bla

shut up shut up shut up

shut up about being trans! shut up about being trans! we know we fucking know

sorry about this rant, i am sure 99% of us can relate but like.. even with all the bloody tags and word mentions blocked i see it all the time and i just cant anymore, i caaant

(also found out that a tw in my sportsclub is making content where he kills terfs so i am more on edge than usual regarding this topic)

Honestly so fair anon!

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

His Dark Materials - Season 2 Episode 7 *FINALE* (Thoughts and Rambles)

We have a LOT to unpack here oh my god oh my god

When I say I was screaming and yelling during the episode, I mean I was LITERALLY screaming and yelling

This post is mostly screeching and capital letters, you’ve been warned

“So cold” “life or death meant nothing” - well shit. Accurate description of a Spectre attack damn

I didn’t know what those creepy noises were at first and I was sat here absolutely TERRIFIED because it was creepy as fuck. Then I realized it was cliff ghasts because they said something that I recognized from the book and I was like “oh shit”

Pan and Will talking is the sweetest omg

The fact that Pan told him that Lyra thinks he’s as brave as King Iorek Byrnison :’)

“She’s the best friend I’ve ever had” “You’re her best friend too” - STOP, MY HEART

Lyra was awake and heard the whole conversation :3

“I’m no longer an aeronaut” :( “I’m an insect” - LMAO

Hester and Lee’s banter remains my favourite thing and now it’s bittersweet tbh...

“You could never be an insect, Lee” “Okay, hare” - bless them

Marisa finding where Lyra was staying and then finding Lyra’s coat?? And crying with it pressed to her face?? :’(

In case I haven’t mentioned it already, I am incredibly gay for the witches/their aesthetic/costume. Absolutely beautiful queens, all of them

Oh hi, it’s Mary and the two kids!

The fact that Mary helped them find their adults :’)

Also, “We like you miss” - BLESS

I’m kind of confused as to whether the blue flower petals are important or if it’s just her smelling them? IDK

“I’m close to my father, it’s time I found him” - OOF OKAY UMM ARE YOU SURE

“I let my best friend down” - Noooo Lyra, no you didn’t! :( Your dad is a terrible parent and killed him, that’s not your fault!

“Maybe this is how I let you down” - Well done, Asriel and Marisa, you’ve fucked up a perfectly fine child is what you’ve done

Will telling Lyra that she hasn’t let him down :3

That witch turning up because she was trying to warn Marisa about the spectres, only for Marisa to torture and kill her... oof

FUCKING MONKEY I CAN’T DECIDE HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM

“She’s MY daughter” - Okay, damn, lady...

“EVE. She’s the mother of all” - OH FUCK YOU TOLD HER. OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK

THE SPECTRE ATE HER DÆMON OMG NO THIS IS HORRIFYING WTAF

Seriously, the way the witch went so grey and lifeless and just fell to her knees and down... Urgh, my stomach is turning

Just when I thought I hated the monkey again, he starts whimpering because he’s afraid of the Spectres :(

“Stop whimpering” - DAMN MARISA YOU ARE A STONE COLD BITCH HUH

Pan being the damn voice of reason and telling Lyra they should stay with the witches like yes, Lyra, listen to him for once!!!

Okay but why are the Magisterium soldiers lowkey dressed like German soldiers from one of the World Wars???

I’m not really surprised that BBC left out the detail of Ruta and Asriel fucking when she found him to be honest XD

So the witches think that the Æsahættr is a person but it’s actually the KNIFE. AND THEY DON’T REALIZE. RUTA YOU DON’T NEED TO GO ANYWHERE, IT’S LITERALLY RIGHT THERE

“...That’s not my dæmon.” “Run.” - OH SHIT OKAY MY WHOLE BODY JUST TENSED UP

So umm Lee got shot and FUCK NO FUCK NO I’M NOT READY FOR THIS EMOTIONALLY THANKS

I LITERALLY DO NOT WANT THIS TO HAPPEN OKAY

“You’re either with me or against me” Umm he’s your dæmon?!?!

THE WAY SHE SCREAMED AT HIM OH MY GOD SHE’S FUCKING TERRIFYING HOLY CRAP

“What are you frightened of?” - oh, I don’t know, Marisa, maybe because YOU FUCKING SCREECHED AT HIM. MAYBE HE’S FRIGHTENED OF YOU

Also I love the detail of Marisa getting onto her hands and knees, sort of crouching and mirroring the monkey’s body language. I just love the parallel

The way the monkey flinched from her when she went to touch him omg :( No dæmon should be THIS afraid of their person (or at all?!?!)

Honestly, I find this series’ portrayal of Marisa fascinating tbh

“We have to do whatever it takes to keep her safe” - Umm, like maybe drugging her and hiding her in a cave for months? 🤔

Also in case I didn’t say this before, the fact she has complete control of the Spectres is fucking scary and always has been from the very first time I read the books

Okay so Lee is fully aware that he’s going to die if he stays behind but he does it because he knows that it’s the best chance of making sure that Lyra ends up under the knife’s protection (because Jopari will find her). All Lee wants is for Lyra to be safe and that hurts my heart so much, he loves this child so much :’(

“I love that little girl like a daughter” - LEE STOP MY HEART IS ALREADY BREAKING AS IT IS

NO NO NO NO I AM NOT AND NEVER WILL BE READY

Oh hey Red PAN-da (sorry I know I keep repeating that joke but honestly LOOK AT HIM)

“Once I change, you’ll stop changing” - OH SHIT. So we’re having THAT conversation then

“What do you think you’ll be?” “A flea I hope” - LMFAO I LOVE IT

“Is it Will that’s changing you?” “I think” - FORESHADOWING FOR AMBER SPYGLASS ANYONE?!

All the meanwhile, while Lee is dying and shit is going down, Ms Mary Malone is just chilling in a cave on a mountain by a waterfall, just reading

I literally struggled to watch Lee’s final scenes. I literally didn’t want to watch it because I cried reading it in the book, and I knew I’d be the same here

The fact that Lee HATES taking away people’s lives but he says “it’s theirs or Lyra’s”... I love him. He loves her so much.

“Think about anything, think about bacon!” - LMFAO I LOVE YOU HESTER YOU ABSOLUTE GEM

THE BULLET CLIPPED HIS SCALP AND I HAD A HEART ATTACK 

“This is my fault, isn’t it?” - NO HESTER NO DON’T YOU DARE BLAME YOURSELF DARLIN’, YOU ARE THE BEST AND WE LOVE YOU AND LEE LOVES YOU

I do this everytime I read the book and I did here even though I know what happens, but I was praying mentally that maybe Serafina would reach Lee in time... just maybe...

I’m really sitting here crying over Hester and Lee on a Sunday night, love that for me

Hester limping :(

“Don’t you go before I do” - FUCK YOU BBC AND PHILIP I’M SOBBING MY EYES OUT

“Oh how far we flew” - STOP IT. STOP IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW I SWEAR-

I literally yelled and cried out “NOOO” when Hester faded away and Lee died. I am so upset even though I KNEW it was coming. I am literally not okay.

Oh god no Will, now is not the time to be walking away from Lyra and that witch 

Also why is that witch asleep on guard?? Come on, love, do better, it’s not like these are the two most important children in all the universes.... 

To be fair to Marisa, I’d feel pretty invincible if I were climbing up a mountain while the Spectres were guarding me/on my side

WILL AND JOHN FINALLY MET AHHHH

“I was told I’d find my father here”  - YEAH AND THAT’S HIM WILL ASDFGHJKL;

I’m low-key disappointed that there’s no brawl between Will and Jopari here. Like they instantly recognize each other and... hmm. I know there has to be changes but still.

“Your mother, Will, where is she?” - Awww. John really didn’t stop loving her :’)

“My son... is the Knife Bearer” - oooooohhhhhhh

“You have a dæmon” - that’s right, Will. Don’t worry, you’ll get one next season

The way I audible went “oh shIT” when Mrs Coulter found Lyra fast asleep. Like I said, I knew what was going to happen but STILL

I’m not really surprised that those Spectres killed the witch who was supposed to be guarding Lyra and Will tbh like that’s what happens when only ONE witch guards two teenagers and that witch falls asleep

The way that Lyra panicked when she woke up and saw her mother stroking her cheek omg 

Off topic but I’ve only just realized that Jopari has a fucking man-bun LMFAO OKAY

The fact that Jopari tried to get back to Will and Elaine but couldn’t will always hurt me

“And you chose these people over your family?” - I MEAN-

“I’ve thought about you every day.” - Awww

So John tells Will that he has to go to Asriel and bring him the knife, and he tells him all about the war that’s coming and I have LITERAL chills because I’m so ready

“And then we go home?” “... And then we go home.” - RIP MY HEART OUT, IT WOULD HURT LESS

“I’m not strong enough” - yes you are, Will! I promise you, you are! And Jopari says, “Both of us were brought here” - exactly! You were brought there for a reason by fate or whatever you want to call it!

“Your duty was to be my father” - WILL REALLY CAME FOR HIS DAD LIKE THAT I GUESS

“Look what you’ve become without me” - Oh my god, just when I thought I wasn’t going to cry again

JOPARI HUGGING WILL, SEEING THE SOLDIER AIMING, AND THEN PUTTING HIMSELF BETWEEN THEM SO HE TOOK THE BULLET INSTEAD OF WILL ASDFGHJKL;

So in the book, Jopari is killed by a scorned witch who had once asked him to be her lover, but he had turned her down (because of Elaine and Will obviously), and she kills Jopari in front of Will and then he kills her (I think?). But here it’s just a soldier leftover from the Lee vs Magisterium fight, so... yeah. Kind of a little peeved about the change personally but whatever I guess.

“The night is full of angels, they will guide you now” - AHHHHH

Also, might just be me, but maybe that line would have been slightly more impactful if the scene had taken place at night

This show really said “fuck healthy parental figures” I guess

Except Will’s mum, she’s the best and if anything were to happen to her we’d all riot

SAYAN KÖTÖR FADING AWAY NOOOO I HATE SEEING DÆMONS DIE

Okay, last little gripe, but I just wanted to say that in the book, Will doesn’t realize it’s his dad until literally the last second before his dad dies - like they both realize and then BAM, Jopari is killed. And while I do love the father-son reunion, I am kind of annoyed by the change because it was such a huge punch in the gut in the book that Will searches for so long for his dad, only to lose him the second he finds him.

Serafina finding Lee’s body and kissing his forehead was yet another punch in the gut, thanks Pullman/BBC/BadWolf

The fact that Will had to bury his dad :(

Also, WILL WEARING JOPARI’S JACKET OH MY GOD MY HEART

Oof that shot of his amputated fingers...

So the narration, when it started I thought it was Jopari at first, like from one of his letters... but then as it continued, I went “hang on”, and then I said outloud “wait, is that ASRIEL?!”

DID MARISA REALLY PUT LYRA IN A FUCKING TRUNK?!? BITCH ARE YOU OKAY?!?

Will putting his hood up like his dad did just hits differently

Okay so um ASRIEL HI I WASN’T EXPECTING TO SEE YOU THIS SEASON OH MY GOD THE SCREAM I LET OUT

HIS MONOLOGUE BY THE WAY IS FUCKING ART AND A MASTERPIECE BUT I WAS TOO BUSY CRYING OVER JAMES MCAVOY TO WRITE THE WHOLE MONOLOGUE DOWN

Oh, hi Stelmaria!

It always makes me scream that this man is not only Lord Asriel now but he’s also fucking Mr Tumnus and MOTHERFUCKING BILL DENBROUGH LIKE HOW IS THIS MAN INVOLVED IN SO MANY OF MY FANDOMS?!?

ANGELS ANGELS OH MY FUCKING GOD-

“We stand with you, Asriel Belacqua” - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“Let us prepare for war” - FUUUUUUUUCK

(I was deadly serious when I said this was just me screaming and crying by the way)

I’m still reeling over the fact that Marisa put her daughter in a fucking trunk. Like I get you can’t exactly carry a drugged child about in the open but Jesus Christ, love, really?!?

Also Ruth Wilson / Marisa Coulter in a headscarf? *chef kiss*

The way that the screen went to black as she put the lid on the trunk down - SHIT OH SHIT GOOSEBUMPS

THE CREDIT SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE IT HAS FUCKING ANGELS NOW I’M-

I WASN’T EXPECTING THE POST CREDITS SCENE OH MY GOD

ROGER?! ROGER! IT’S ROGER I’M NOT OKAY-

BBC YOU CANNOT JUST DROP THAT ON US LIKE THAT FUCK-

“What is this place?” - I’M SCREAMING SO LOUD I CAN’T HOLD IT IN

For anyone unaware, the reason I’m screaming so loud over the post-credits scene is because in TAS, while Lyra is drugged and in a groggy sleep, she has these visions of Roger talking to her from the Land of the Dead, which then later leads to her and Will actually GOING to the Land of the Dead and... well, the rest is even HUGER spoilers but YEAH I’M NOT OKAY.

Honestly, I’m just so happy and emotional because I’ve been waiting over a decade for a decent adaptation of not only NL but for TSK and TAS too, and we’re 2/3 there now. Just one more book/series to go... I wish we could have it now. I really hope that filming for the final one starts ASAP because if we have to wait two years just to see the conclusion to this series, I might cry.

This series is so amazing, and this season especially has been so incredible to watch. It’s been the highlight of my week for seven weeks, and I have no idea what I’ll do with my Sundays now that it’s over. I’ve asked for the DVD for S2 for my birthday already (since it comes out 29th December and my birthday is 13th January... just saying), and words can’t describe how much I do love this series. I know it sounds hollow since I say it about so many things I’m into, but this was such a huge part of my childhood and it’s one of my favourite fantasy series of all time. It’s truly one of the most incredible pieces of literature and now it’s making for incredible television... I love it so much.

[badass-at-fandoming]

ROYAL BLOOD 2 ENDGAME, KIDDOS.

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4. Part 5.

Fair warning that the subject matter in this post is...um, hella dark. CW for history of genocide, attempted murder, suicidal ideation, death, injury

Where we last left our heroine, she and Amy were eating a nice dinner together, when they're interrupted by...Chancellor Dmitri??

"Oh noes, Kane attacked Jay!" Chancellor Dmitri says, which totally doesn't raise ten red flags in my brain. "You better come with me!"

Chancellor Dmitri guides an unsuspecting Dorothy to the warehouse that Alex Miller first met Logan Harris in (they re-used the same background art lol). Dorothy calls her friends' names...only for Dmitri to strike her down.

THE SCENE SWITCHES. Safe in the club room, all the men debate how to proceed with their investigation. The bickering is interrupted by a distressed, red-eyed Amy rushing into the room screaming that they gotta save Dorothy.

Everyone is !!!! The red-eyes aren't from crying. Amy LITERALLY has red eyes. As fast as she can, Amy lore-dumps on us that she is a hybrid. Her father, Dmitri, kidnapped Dorothy and plans to kill her. Save her please!

Everyone bends their minds to how to find Dorothy. The werewolves know her smell--but on a crowded campus it would take a long time to sniff her out. The vampires can vaguely track her because they're full of her blood (yes, Dorothy is sexily donating blood to all of them still), but that's also an inexact measure. Only with their powers combined...!

Jay steps forward. He is full of werewolf blood and Dorothy's blood. Either there's some confusion in the translation or the writing itself, but he says the werewolf's ability to read memories in the blood will help track Dorothy down? IDK how that's relevant, but I stopped caring when I saw this CG:

[[Image ID Royal Blood 2: Secret Lesson Lars Hegner and Jay Russell CG, Lars and Jay sit on beige sofa together. Blood trickles down Jay's wrist from two puncture marks, and he winces in pain. Blood drips from Lars' mouth and he looks at Jay in wonder.]]

What am I supposed to do with this??? Do I ship Lars and Jay now? Fellas, is it gay to stare deeply in another man's eyes and feel his feelings of love and recognize your common humanity and common monstrosity? As those two stare, Andrew's like "Guys, can you please process your bi awakening later? We have to save Dorothy!" asdfghjkl;'

ARE WE READY TO SUFFER >.<

Our heroine wakes up in Dmitri's clutches. He reveals "his hybrid form" and rhapsodizes on how hideous it is, but the sprite is literally just him with red eyes now?

[[Image ID Royal Blood 2: Secret Lesson screenshot of Chancellor Dmitri. A tall man with salt-and-pepper hair, Dmitri stands upright in a grey pinstripe suit. He looks like a perfectly normal human, except for the red eyes. But those could be contacts, come on. He says, "You are one of the few humans who have seen this form."]]

We enter a dialogue that gifts me shivers of memories from my indigenous studies class. Especially since this story is set in the USA. Dmitri is the sole survivor of the earlier genocide of the hybrid race. He ran as his parents burned. He found an injured human, Adriana, in the wilds, they took care of one another, and they fell in love. Adriana birthed Amy, but the birth was complicated and her health never recovered. Because of his frequent trips into populated areas for medicine, Dmitri became a known entity on the supernatural scene. News of a lone hybrid spread and reached Baron Hegner and Duke Russell's ears. They came to murder him and Amy, but Adriana sacrificed herself so he and Amy could escape. He raised Amy alone and in hiding, half-loving her, half-detesting her for what she "cost" his wife.

Dorothy is deeply moved by this story. She correctly deduces that Dmitri has been killing werewolves and students in order to re-ignite the race war. He hopes the war will eliminate both supernatural species. She then offers herself as a willing sacrifice, saying she understands and pities any creature that can only think in terms of vengeance and pain.

Girl, what the FUCK.

Like so many puzzle pieces clicking into place, elements of the story now made sense. He ordered the Russells away from humans because he didn't want them humanized. I initially brushed off the weirdness of his decision to assign an inexperienced psych student as the Russell's therapist. Main characters get assigned unearned importance and unreasonable tasks all the time. But Dmitri wanted and expected Dorothy to fail. He killed his own students to spark racial tensions, and he made everyone room together to stoke the flames higher. When he realized Dorothy was succeeding--that, out of love for her, the Russells and Hegners learned to work together--he tried to kill Dorothy and shatter the cooperation. Stellar storytelling right here.

Dmitri is like ??? at Dorothy's offer. He doesn't get long to contemplate because Jay, Andrew, and Lars burst through the door. Dmitri grabs his Dorothy-shaped leverage. Theo crashes through the window behind him, rips Dorothy out of his arms, and yeets Dmitri into a concrete wall. Dmitri is like [insert generic villain monologue here] until Amy pushes past the boys to beg him to give up.

Not even for his daughter does this man stop. He mentions a bomb--but before he can mention more, Kane breaks through the OTHER window (LOL) and immediately starts beating the shit out him. Unlike Theo, Kane intends to kill Dmitri. You can stop him, or you can let the scene play out. I only played through a bit of the "kill Dmitri" route before I got the willies. Apparently with his last breath Dmitri blows up the building with everyone inside it.

If you stop Kane, Dorothy insists we take him to Baron Hegner and Duke Russell--the elders basically. This pseudo-court scene seemed very topsy-turvey to me. The narrative framed the scene as a great reconciliation and ushering in of a new age of peace and justice. I'm not an expert, but I have been involved in meetings with Native Americans that focused on reparations and justice after genocide. Even as a simple note-taker, my role as a white person was to listen. As part of the oppressive group, my duty was to, finally, listen, and let the indigenous people tell their stories and control the narrative. Spit the poison out, as it were.

So I went in expecting this, but got a...weird, uncomfortable experience. Understandably, Dmitri spits vitriol at the men who decided to decimate his people. Edmund and Baron condemn him and Amy to death, until Dorothy steps in and says they should live. Baron and Edmund unburden THEIR hearts about how guilty THEY feel about committing genocide, like they're relieved they got that off their chests. Um. What??? Listen. Dmitri murdered five children, and there should be consequences for that. Baron and Edmund murdered HUNDREDS OF CHILDREN and there should be more consequences than repeating why they "had to" do it and feeling better about themselves.

Amy goes to live with the Hegners. Dmitri is put...somewhere.... He's not in the next game, so I guess, he's just in the Russell's basement like some sort of unaddressed Gothic nightmare?? Edmund and Baron then ask Dorothy to edit their werewolf and vampire peace treaty, and she promises to make everyone happy, which is?? a possible thing to achieve I guess??? (it's not. it shouldn't be)

This started out as a rom-com, Jesus Christ.

As I'm reeling from whatever the fuck THAT was, Dorothy moves right along back to thinking about boys. While drafting/editing the treaty, Dorothy can stay with her parents and the Hegners ooooorrrr the Russell brothers at their castle. The narration mentions next Halloween not being that far off, even though it was Valentine's Day an episode ago. So I guess we're supposed to assume that Dorothy drops out of school temporarily to edit the treaty. Okay.

If you choose to stay with the Russells: Dorothy learns many old languages and supernatural history to inform her work on the treaty. Sophia points out that Dorothy's greatest historical resources are right beside her. Why not interview one of the brothers for their take? If Dorothy asks Andrew for help, he...isn't very helpful on that subject, but they DO boink on the sofa, haha. Out in the garden, Theo reminds Dorothy how her sincere feelings and friendship with the Hegners changed him: he once hated werewolves, but now he sees them as fellow people. We see a little of the cheerful, sunlit Theo from the first game shine through, the writing connecting the very different depictions of the character. #Nice In the library, Jay encourages Dorothy to do her best: as long as the edits are from her, they will be good.

If you choose to stay with the Hegners: Dorothy learns many old languages and supernatural history to inform her work on the treaty. Amy has been a big help. Days before the presentation of the treaty, she can tell Dorothy is way too stressed to get anything done, so she arranges for the boys to invite her out. If you go out with Lars to the town festival, he notes Dorothy's stress and reminds her that her happiness is most important. She wins him a prize at a game booth and gives him a sweet kiss ❤️. If you choose to go out with Kane by the docks, Kane and Dorothy walk on the lake shore together under the moonlight. Kane reminds Dorothy of her power: she brought three elder vampires, a young werewolf, and his crotchety self to heel, so she is an expert! Everyone should feel lucky she's deigning to edit the treaty at all! He is not blushing why would you think that!! hahaha.

No matter who or where you choose, Dorothy ends up nervous before her speech on the Halloween Treaty party. She dithers in her ready room until Sophia says her partner is waiting....

Choose! Your! Man!

Well, broadstrokes of the endings are very similar. Your [Man of Choice] guides Dorothy from her ready room to the great hall. Nerves eat at her, and he says a reassuring statement that she's awesome. Baron and Edmund put in a kind word before Dorothy mounts the podium and gives her presentation on the new Halloween Treaty. She thinks of her special memories from the past year and of her man. She explains she made this treaty out of love: love for the supernatural people in her life and love for how they've changed her.

The treaty is a roaring success. If you chose Kane, he also stands up and tells everyone to put their money where their mouth is. He, the great and intimidating Kane, supports Dorothy and her treaty, and if anybody disrespects it, they'll answer to him, haha. Nerd.

Dorothy soon feels overwhelmed by the congratulations and handshaking. [Man of Choice] whisks her away....

Theo's ending: Uh oh Dorothy's wearing new heels, and they've been bothering her. Theo uses this excuse to whisk Dorothy away in a princess carry. Secure and secret in their corner of the castle, Theo massages Dorothy's feet and compliments her on speech and treaty. He's sure it will last for years. He promises to love her all her days. The course of their love will not run smooth, but they will make the best of it. CG of feetsies

[[Image ID Royal Blood 2: Secret Lesson Theo Russell CG 3, Dressed in a dove grey suit, Theo kneels before Dorothy as if in supplication. He kisses her foot. Dorothy sits and wears a pink gown bespectacled in ruffles and pearls.]]

Honestly, Theo's romance made me feel like an incredibly shitty person. Dorothy and Theo treat the others horribly. Dorothy can feel guilty all she wants, but the game forces her to/she willingly cheats on her other partners multiple times. Andrew's obviously heartbroken, to the end. While I intellectually can name the arc tropes (infidelity, lust, the fantasy of saving/healing the man), they all rubbed me the wrong way. Almost like a therapist sleeping with her handsome patient.

Jay's ending: Jay watches Dorothy dance with Andrew (or Theo: you pick). Andrew says he's glad he met Dorothy and will treasure their time together, the long and short of it. Dorothy finds Jay and takes his hand. She whisper-asks him to take them to his secret reading room on campus. The couple speed there, and Jay compliments Dorothy's treaty: this old advisor to the Emperor says he couldn't have done it better. High praise! Jay goes on to thank Dorothy for choosing him. She was surrounded by suitors, and somehow she found a way to love the quiet, awkward one, haha. They promise to love each other until Dorothy's death, and afterwards. Jay further promises to "not mourn like an idiot" (LOL) but cherish all their memories in his heart. Dorothy asks Jay if he'll help her with a new project. Together she wants to write novels about their lives, so there will be a record that Jay can enjoy like an old photo album. He agrees while showering her in sweet kisses.

[[Image ID Royal Blood 2: Secret Lesson Jay Russell CG 2, Jay and Dorothy lay across a green sofa. Wearing a light blue suit, he holds her close and presses a kiss into her temple. Dorothy laughs under the many tiny ruffles of her matching blue-and-white dress. Apologies for the bad quality: this is a screenshot off the Internet.]]

Jay's more mature romance was certainly...there. Surrounded by more high-strung characters, our quiet and emotionally oblivious Jay was easily overlooked. He didn't get as many scenes or CGs. Heck, towards the end there, he's almost literally written out of the narrative. Not dying takes a lot of energy okay! I feel bad for Jay fans who play Royal Blood 2 because such huge portions pay no attention to him at all. That being said, his few scenes do pack a punch, especially his opening exhibitionist kink, love confession, and ending. I think Jay x Dorothy make a more fitting couple than Theo x Dorothy. She can draw out Jay's authentic self, and he's her pillar of support during troubled times. They also tend to have more sense than other characters.

Lars' ending: Before the speech, Lars and Dorothy laugh over how they feel like they're going to prom again since they're wearing the same outfits, haha. Kane stops the pair in the hall, and he and Dorothy have a bittersweet conversation about their different life spans. She wants to stay mortal, has no interest in becoming supernatural, and feels she has plenty of time to prepare Lars for the inevitability of her death. OUCHIES. After the speech, Lars whisks Dorothy away...to the same hotel balcony from their prom after-party! Lars apologizes again for being too chickenshit to fess up his love during high school. So much drama could have been avoided! To build a better future, Lars gets down on one knee and proposes! OMG. He promises to be a good husband and remain faithful to Dorothy to her very last day.

[[Image ID Royal Blood 2: Secret Lesson Lars Hegner CG 3, With the full moon behind them, surrounded by swirling ginko leaves and tivoli lights, Lars gets down on one knee and proposes to Dorothy.]]

I went into Royal Blood 2 as #TeamLars all the way. I liked him in Royal Blood 1; I love friends-to-lovers. Since they're both navigating their first year at college, Dorothy and Lars embark on a parallel journey and learn together who they want to be as people and as romantic partners. It could be argued that Royal Blood 2 isn't just Dorothy's story, but Lars' AND Dorothy's story. ...But that also means they both showed their asses, haha. Based on his intense moment with Jay and Lars' promise here, it's implied that Lars will become more awesome in the future...but we don't get to see that in this VN. Within Royal Blood 2, Lars had almost net zero character growth. He digs himself into a pit, climbs out of the pit, and makes baby steps towards unlearning his bigotry. He grows into the Lars I like off screen, between the two books.

Andrew's ending: On the way to great hall, Dorothy tells Andrew something she's not told anyone else: she's thinking of writing a book about their romance! She wants to write popular novels to get humans thinking what it would be like to live with supernatural people. She'll portray how the benefits far outpace the challenges. Then, when the Masquerade breaks, humans will welcome it. Andrew is very excited to design every character's outfit, haha. Dorothy asks about his painting, and we get a glimpse to sads. "Maybe later," he says, hinting at the next game lol. After the speech, the minute Dorothy feels uncomfortable, Andrew grabs his girl and is like "BYE BITCHES LOL." Using some blood sorcery, he whisks her away to the city of their "first" meeting. Andrew, my beloved, never change, haha. While Dorothy pins him to this alleyway wall, Andrew thanks her for choosing him, and continuing to choose him. Between kisses, they build castles in the air of places to travel, of settling in this city, of living in a vibrant present.

[[Image ID Royal Blood 2: Secret Lesson Andrew Russell CG 3, While wearing a bright red dress, Dorothy kisses Andrew in a stone alleyway. Ivy crawls up the building as Andrew kisses back with equal fervor.]]

This might be my favorite romance in Royal Blood: my main gripe is Dorothy can't stay faithful throughout. I'm of the rare opinion that Andrew deserved better than how Dorothy treated him. Usually I think the MC deserves better than how the LI treats them, haha. I like the pairing though. Dorothy reminds Andrew to slow down and think, while Andrew gets Dorothy to loosen up and embrace new experiences.

Kane ending: After the Dorothy's speech, and Kane's follow-up threat/speech, he takes her hand and is like, "Babe, let's blow this pop stand." They make it as far as the car before the urge for smooches becomes too much, hahaha. Dorothy thanks Kane for watching over her from the shadows all this time, and finally letting her witness the kindness he hides under all the bluster. Kane says he isn't convinced that a mortal-immortal romance will end well, but he's willing to do anything, sacrifice anything, to be with Dorothy. They will have their happiness, even if Kane has to wrench it from God's bloody fingers.

[[Image ID Royal Blood 2: Secret Lesson Kane Hegner CG 2, Kane crowds Dorothy in the backseat of a car. He kisses her hard with passion, and Dorothy succumbs with pleasure. She wears a black gown with white roses at the waist and throat.]]

My favorite romance route for Royal Blood 2 is a tie between Kane and Andrew. Kane is solid angst, while Andrew makes me happy, haha. For a hidden route, Kane gets a lot of screen time. His rough edges are quite sharp, and he's a definite tsundere. Like Dorothy says, underneath that hard exterior is a man who loves, and loves fiercely. He can see the big picture when others can't (or won't). When he's not on screen, other characters comment that Kane is running himself ragged investigating the murders and trying to protect his people. Homework assignments and romantic dates would pale in importance for me too! My one dislike is a lifetime with Dorothy doesn't soften him up. At the end of the route, he says he still hates vampires, but will set aside his prejudice for her. Which. Hella sketchy, dude :| My last reason for liking his route is it does fit well with the events of the next game, as other reviewers have noted.

The Kane ending nets you an absolutely heartbreaking epilogue. An undisclosed amount of time later, Kane shows up at the Russell's castle under the cover of darkness. The brothers greet him with surprise and confusion, until Jay gets a light bulb and asks, "Kane...what happened to Dorothy?" 😭 Shaking with held-back tears, Kane confesses that Dorothy was diagnosed with a terminal illness, and he begs the brothers to turn her into a vampire. Save her! The brothers, however, turn him away. They've talked with Dorothy about this a million billion times, and she wants to remain mortal. They're not going to Embrace her without her permission (or Edmund's permission). Kane gets down on his knees and begs, and they're like...bro...we can't. 😭😭😭

The normal epilogue is slightly happier? Now an old woman, Dorothy is an urban fantasy novelist, and we see her do a television interview about her upcoming retirement, after a successful forty year career. Her flagship series, Royal Blood, is popular all over the world. Hah! I see what you did there, Cinamon Games lol. The interviewer jokes that her writing is so vivid, it makes the interviewer believe vampires and werewolves are real. They ask what Dorothy would say to her characters, to bid they goodbye. Dorothy looks out into the studio audience, where Lars, Andrew, Theo, and Jay sit, and she thanks them for giving her a wonderful life full of happy memories. D'awwwww. Sweet.

Except the part where you turned down being a hot vampire MILF! What the heck, Dorothy. XD XD XD

And that's Royal Blood 2: Secret Lesson! Whew, what a ride! This was a STORY. Do you see what I mean when I say it feels bloated yet not long enough? Lars, Theo, and Andrew would've been enough, but that would disappoint Jay and Kane fans. Who was your favorite love interest? Who do you want to kick in the pants? There's a full playlist, all endings included, here on Youtube. If I tried to manage a plot like this with my Moonrise characters, I would lay down and scream.

Thank you for reading this epic! Have a great rest of your day ❤️❤️❤️

[leaf-greener]

I posted 1,733 times in 2021

15 posts created (1%)

1718 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 114.5 posts.

I added 1,887 tags in 2021

#miscellaneous reblogs - 1130 posts

#sonic - 251 posts

#star wars - 230 posts

#lmao - 108 posts

#boost!!! - 61 posts

#lmfao - 51 posts

#asdfghjkl - 16 posts

#yes - 16 posts

#damn - 13 posts

#zelda - 11 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#he’s very autistic coded and also his main colour is white so idk about you but he kinda seems like the exact same character as silver /j

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Ok so I was rewatching TCW and I started out with the movie and honestly I’m only really a few minutes in and I am losing it over:

 -That clone who gave R2 a head pat.   -That clone who yelled charge and got immediatelyshot afterwards, that made me sad  -That clone who punched a droid, and then fucking died.   -The fact that DIRECTLY after that we see Cody WACK A DROID with his FULLY FUNCTIONAL BLASTER and then ROUNDHOUSE KICK ANOTHER ONE, AND THEN GO BACK TO SHOOTING MORE DROIDS

-Alright fuck it this is a live post now because I need to scream into the void and my friends don’t like Star Wars Fair warning, this is INSANELY long, and I’m doing this entirely for myself. I just don’t have anywhere else to put all my thoughts down freely and damn it I’m gonna put ALL of them down. 

-Ashoka, I love you but please god. get actual clothes. armor??? maybe??? Just, ANYTHING BUT A TUBE TOP. 

-Ok, so this movie looks pretty bad but I actually think the back grounds are really pretty. 

-Tbh early Ashoka is like, really cute?? (In a “aw look at the kid“ way, which is funny considering I’m her age-)  And if she’d wear some actual fucking clothes she’d have a really good design. 

-I can completely understand why people would find her annoying but lmfao Skyguy is fucking hilarious, if only because it pisses of Anakin. 

-All the Clones looking at her when she says it and Rex laughing helps add to everything. 

-Anakin: Captain Rex will show you a little respect can go a long way.   Rex: *Visible Oh Fuck Shit Don’t Give Me The Baby Jedi*

-Ashoka, I love you, but please Force stfu show Rex some respect.

-Ok but literal seconds later Rex actually seems happy to see she’s like, enthusiastic? (I think?)

-oH SHIT REX DROPPED A “DAMN” I FORGOT ABOUT THAT ASDFGHJKL (Rex there’s a child riGHT THERE)

-Fuck fuck shit this when Teth happens I’m not emotionally prepared

-Why are they in the middle?? Wouldn’t it be easier to go the side??? 

-Obi Wan saved a Clone :)

-Obi Wan ffs that’s a war crime-

-Why are the droids protecting the shield genorator literal fucking soda cans  

-So like, I know to a lot of people that moment between Anakin and Ashoka feels a little unearned, I just. can’t say I feel the same. Mostly because I can, relate a lot to Ashka feels there. You know, when you kinda fuck up but really, it wasn’t that bad, but you still feel like shit and you know other people think you fucked up too? But seeing Anakin being understanding is just, really comforting in a way. 

-Why the FUCK did they send ANAKIN to save JABBA THE HUTTS SON, do they not remember his childhood??????????????

-Actually I think they did a good job on Jabba’s model. When I look at him I don’t want to throw up. 

-God that opening shot of Teth from space is just, so fucking ominous and it fills me with dread. Especially knowing what’s gonna happen. 

-The Clones surrounding Ashoka have hair that’s going to kill me out of just being so BAD. 

-The Clones laughing when Ashoka says she saved Anakin is fucking funny

-ASHOKA IN A HOOD MY BELOVED

-DID THAT B1 DROID JUST FUCKING COMPLIMENT THE SPIDER DROID FOR MAKING A GOOD SHOT LIKE IT WAS A PET??????? THAT’S SO WHOLESOME?????? IT NODDED IN THANKS?????????

-RIDGE ILY

-Ok but actually though I fucking love B1′s. “Just fire right there!” is HILARIOUS. 

-”Oh my God” being said by a droid implies so much shit that I a not unpacking

-Ashoka, honey, you’re blocking the pilots view-

-This OST-

See the full post

2 notes • Posted 2021-07-03 23:46:12 GMT

#4

Do you ever have to make an entirely new email to make an entirely new Tumblr account because the app wasn’t working so you deleted it to download again but then realised you’d have to sign in and you can’t sign in without your homophobic dad seeing and he already knows you have a Tumblr but you’d rather not bring it u again and OOPS you aren’t following any of your favorite blogs anymore and are going to have re-follow them through memory becaue Tumblr won’t let me look at the people I was following on my old account 

2 notes • Posted 2021-06-27 00:53:32 GMT

#3

I just watched the new TBB episode and honest to fucking God I’m. Experiencing pain.

4 notes • Posted 2021-07-03 00:29:08 GMT

#2

Endless Possibilities holds so much power because I was feeling like fucking shit like, literally a minute ago and then Endless Possibilities came on and I feel actually ok right now?? Like what the fuck I’ve been on the verge of tears for like, an hour, and boom, stress gone. Thanks Sonic

10 notes • Posted 2021-10-20 23:14:35 GMT

#1

My mom just described a pregnant dog as a dog piñata

21 notes • Posted 2021-11-01 21:15:18 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[ladylillianrose]

Thoughts on Episode 11 (take 2):

SPOILERS BELOW!!

Alright I’ll get this out there right now…OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! AHHHHHHHH!!! ASDFGHJKL!!!

I haven’t fangirl squeed like this since the Max/Zoey moments in Episode 12 (Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist)!!

*deep breaths* okay I’m calm….for the moment.

I’ll go into everything else before I touch on Serkan and Eda.

I really really really hate how Selin treats Ferit, he deserves better, someone who truly loves him. Honestly I’m kind of hoping he will decide to leave Selin at the altar. A man can only be ignored for another man so many times before he’s done!

Ayfer’s reaction to the contract is a bit over the top, granted she didn’t have all the facts, but still it’s not as though they eloped and are actually married. Especially because she is now deceiving Eda with the scholarship money, which we all know Eda will find out the truth about.

Aydan’s talk with Eda is not terribly surprising all things considered. Yes they’ve grown close and Eda has helped them all, but Aydan is not a woman who embraces change. Selin is the model wife for Serkan, she will listen to whatever Aydan says and wants (something Eda does not do), and because Serkan is not in love with Selin their marriage should ve “safe” from heartaches. Aydan wants to keep her only child close and to protect him from the world, even at the cost of losing the woman he loves.

I’m glad all the girls know the truth now, it was hard for Eda to deceive everyone, though in the end she wasn’t acting anymore, she does love Serkan. But it was causing a strain on the friendship so I’m pleased that they all made up.

I love Eda and Leyla’s relationship. Eda has helped Leyla grow and Leyla has gotten easier and I’m 100% here for sassy/snarky Leyla!

I really do love Engin, he’s just so sweet but clueless when it comes to the women in his life.

So I realized writing my last post that Engin is in a similar situation to Sekan with the two women in his life. On the one hand there is the woman who they’ve known, worked with a d been friends with for years, who has feelings for them (Piril/Selin). And on the other you have the newcomer who helps pull them out of their shell, gets to know the real them outside of work (Engin claims to have a life outside of work, but we have yet to see proof if it), and they are so different from the other women in their lives like a breath of fresh air (Ceren/Eda).

I hope that Engin forgives Ceren because I like them together, they’re adorable and sweet together.

Alptekin’s bombshell, wow, I mean WOW! It definitely sheds light onto why Eda doesn’t want her grandmother’s money. They say the money is Eda’s by right, which it would be since she lost both her parents. It would also explain why Eda and her grandmother do not speak, Eda would see taking the money as a betrayal to her parent’s memories. If Alptekin covered it all up, he would have paid an exorbitant amount of money to the family to keep it from being investigated or in the news (something neither family would want as it would be unseemly). Eda views the money as blood/hush money, gotten at the cost of her parent’s lives, so she wants no part of it. I think this will make the fact that Ayfer went to her mother for the money for Eda, a bigger issue for Eda, with Ayfer going behind her back against her wishes.

The way Ayfer insists that Eda have nothing to do with any of the Bolat’s makes me wonder if she knows that the holding is responsible for the death of Eda’s parents and that Alptekin is the one who arranged to have it covered up.

Now onto our favorite couple!!

The interlocked hands and cheek kiss in front of Selin and Ferit were just so natural, they both forgot that they were just playing parts.🥰🥰

Telling Serkan’s fortune with the song? Oh yes most assuredly, and of course now we have the reason for the show name (apparently it is also Piril’s actress doing the singing, which is lovely and awesome)

I love Ceren and Engin offering advice and the parallel shots/dialogue. Engin is really trying to get Serkan to realise that Eda does love him!

Ugh and the sleeping on “their” sides of the bed with the picture and guitar pick?😭😭😭 Also I love that the picture is from when they had to “make up” after a “fight” on the balcony while the girls listened in. You know Melo was the one to take the picture, print it out and give it to him (I love her and Serkan’s relationship!)

Lmao at the watch coming back! Always beeping around Eda, despite his claims that the watch is broken he still wears it 🤣🤣😉

The doctor’s rose house and story were so lovely and beautiful. That is totally going to be their home together, he had her designing the house and gardens to what she would want. She even said she would want to live in a house like that (so would I!). He could use it once it’s all fixed as the place to truly propose!🥰🥰🥰

Serkan desperately trying to keep Eda at his side in the office. He’s just so sure that she wants to get away from him because she doesn’t like him. 🥺🥺🥺

Bless Seyfi for always looking out for team Edser! He knows who and what Serkan needs! (If this was Shakespeare, Seyfi would be Robin Goodfellow/Puck bringingnour lovers together). And Eda dropping everything to be at his side.

Also Eda telling Selin she would stay with him, despite Selin saying that Serkan likes to be alone when he is sick. Selin may have known him for longer, but she only knows the facade that Serkan puts up to keep people at a distance. Eda knows the real Serkan, he trusts her and is open with her in a way he isn’t with anyone else.

Telling one another’s fortunes with pages from The Little Prince was so sweet (made me want to go back and read it again since it’s been at least 20 years since I last read it).

Serkan’s painful memories 😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺. My heart aches for him so. I feel for the whole family, but he was so young and he needed love and support, but instead was sent away. It sheds light on why he’s so reserved with his emotions and trust, and I hope he will be able to share the whole story with Eda (and us) someday.

“Eda do not leave me.” “I’ll go too. Wherever you want.” 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰 Serkan is so vulnerable here. And of course he doesn’t remember any of it until it’s almost too late!!!

Eda telling Selin the truth, ugh my heart 💔💔💔. And then looking like she might faint from the stress and heartbreak of it (though she’s fainted less and less with Serkan around to help with her anxiety/stress, though he has caused his fair share too!)

I was wondering when we would get to see Sirius again! Sweet boy just wants Mom and Dad to be happy together. And Serkan trying to use Sirius as an excuse to see Eda again😭😭😭

Serkan giving us a heart attack calling Selin to meet him. I don’t think he ever intended to say yes to Selin, he was just stalling for more time till he could come up with a different solution. I certainly hope Selin gets a bit of a backbone after this realizing that she needs to stop dropping everything for Serkan (even when it isn’t him doing the calling/asking).

Serkan making the taxi pullover, declaring that Eda is his bride, and taking charge!😍😍😍🔥🔥🔥 Serkan is always hot, but there is something about him taking control that is just 🔥🔥🔥🥵🥵🥵

Asking about packing flip flops in her suitcase because it is so light 🤣🤣🤣. Serkan mark my words she will get you in a pair of flip flops someday!

The confession🥰🥰🥰 so complete them, arguing, talking about how Serkan can’t get her out of his head! ❤❤

And finally a real kiss!!! All their other almost kisses (and the first kiss) are so charged with UST (which I love), but this one was so sweet, loving and romantic!😍😍😍😍

Now I’m off to watch the end of the episode and the fragman for 12 on repeat until next Wednesday!!

Alright I think that was everything I had written before. If not I’m sure I’ll add some random posts later lol.

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale S5 Ep1 Thoughts *Spoilers*

AHHH MY INFAMOUS LIVE THOUGHTS POST IS BACK I’M SO ASDFGHJKL; Under the cut are my thoughts <3

- Charles be like “my crazy brother wrote a murder……?”

- “BV as in Betty… Veronica?” Lol Beronica crumbs <3

- Veronica’s so beautiful ughhhh. She’s such a great girlfriend too like she does so much and knowing she’s gonna be hurting makes me so sad…. but I can blame BH’s ugly boring fanservice for keeping them from exploring Barchie a while ago and not needing a cheating plot. But whatever, I’m manifesting Jeronica helping each other <3

- Veronica asking Archie to play Betty’s song lmao but it’s so sweet of her to be so excited for him to get back into music. But music is associated with Betty bc she’s his muse

- Forgetting all of what Hiram’s done this scene was kinda sweet.

- So he beats the fuck out of people lol okay… also NOW Veronica makes sure her dad’s not lying??

- Betty’s voice automatically set me on edge it’s so annoying…

- Oh this scene… I don’t like Cheryl being so rude to Kevin/Fangs it’s so rude for NO REASON.

- DID TONI JUST SAY “AGAIN”? When tf was she Serpent Queen??? And why didn’t she STAY that way?

- KO looks like he’s gonna fuck Archie up lol

- who is war baby again…? Also I can’t stop thinking about how Sean Depner admitted that he thought of his scenes with Jughead as romantic

- I can’t wait for this boxing shit to be over with… but low-key I’m kinda into it rn????

- “heavyweight heartbreaker”

- BH once again bringing Cheryl in to do their dirty work and giving her more trauma

- Why did it not occur to me that this was why they were dressed like this… but it’s better than what I thought so

- OH THIS IS WHHEN SHE SINGS CARRY THE TORCH AHHH THE EMBARRASSMENT AND ANGST

- Jughead being enraptured by Veronica <3

- Betty looking over at Archie YESSSS “that’s MY song!!”

- “when my boyfriend beats up your boyfriend.” VERONICA. “I love you!” STOPPPPPPPP I’M SO 🥺🥺🥺

- THE CHONI TALK </3

- Ahhhhhh the “I love Ronnie but I’m not IN LOVE with Ronnie” vibe from Archie :((( It’s weird that they’re making VA the only one who’s sad and angsty like… why does Archie always have to take tether fall

- “You had me at snuff film” I’m sorry what??

- Oh I thought Betty was gonna bring out the Jason video she shouldn’t have. Okay Betty gained a few points for being brave enough to bring that wow… II wasn’t expecting that.

- Yay… boxing…

- I still hate that everyone is always split up but Betty looks so good rn with that jacket ugghhhh probably bc it’s not a serpent jacket <3

- You’d think Betty’d be able to notice the guy in the mask that she waked past if she’s such a “great detective” asdfgjkl;

- The sound effects PLSSS hadjshkfsafj

- lmao what- how convenient that people crowd in tether hallway the second they’re tryring to get to the guy

- JELLYBEAN??!??! She’s not dumb why would she ever be here.

- Veronica being such a great girlfriend that she’s willing to skip PROM she deserves so much better pls

- CHERYL LOOKS SO GOOD PLSSSSS. TONI 🥺🥺 these pictures are so cute pls

- Hiram leave Archie alone challenge!!

- Veronica 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞 imagine cheating on her couldn’t ever be me

- “Smile and say endgame” MARY……….

- Betty eating Jughead up in that dress she’s so beautiful and has to be next to Jughead who can’t even put a beanie away for a night…

- THE VARCHIE BETTY PICTUERE JFASKDHALFSLS

- Not Reggie spiking the punch…

- JUGHEAD’S HANDS AROUND VERONICA’S WAIST YES BITCH

- Veronica staying behind from college for Archie…. girl??? OH MY GOD HE TOLD HER STRAIGHT UP FDSIAFHSAKFLD VERONICA’S FACE NO NO SHE’S SO BABIE AND SAD I’M SO-

- But it’s good that he told her…. but at prom :(

- Choni prom queens as they deserve  it makes no sense for anyone else to be royal

- FIRST OPENLY GAY PROM QUEENS. Now why she add Varchie BH into it…?

- Toni’s crown fell off in the background

- Well this is totally not creepy….

- OMG PEACHES?? hey girl!

- Not Choni breaking up over some random quickly put together “angst” but BH is gonna be fine for at least until the time jump smh

- V you know B doesn’t tell anyone anything unless she’s forced to.

- NO NEED TO BLOW THEM UP TOO?? V BH SHOULD HAVE BROKEN UP AFTER S1. Poor Veronica my baby girl.

- Why can’t Veronica ever have an angry moment like she always has to be the civil adult it’s t fair :(

- PARALLEL TO WHEN VERONICA CRIED IN HER MOM’S LAP IN S1!!

- HIRAM WAS LITERALLY NOT THERE A SECOND AGO.

- Cheryl sobbing to Nana Rose I HATE THIS SHOW. Everyone but who actually should be breaking up is breaking up UGHH

- literally stop giving Archie so much trauma!!!

- ARCHIE ANGST NEXT WEEK!? AN EP JUST ABOUT HIM!??! YESS FINALLY!  but again Hiram stop trying to kill Archie Jesus imagine how tired we are smh

[dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @myriadimagines!!! Sam!!! Another trip around the sun!!! FUCKIN SUPERB U FUNKY LI’L ANGEL!!!! :D I love you so, so much and I hope today (and everyday) is as lovely as you are, and I hope current events and mental health improve going into the new year, bc yikes!! Thank you for your continued presence in this crazy messed-up world, because rest assured you brighten it just by existing and I speak for everyone when I say I am so, so grateful for that!! 💕🌷✨💕🌷✨💕🌷✨💕🌷✨

(Uhhh note: I have been trying to write this since I watched TOG but for some reason it just?? refused to come out right?? and I’m writing this now @ 2AM?? and it still hasn’t come out right?? and you deserve so much better than this but?? it’s all my dumbass brain has got?? and I hope I post this at an okay time for the time zone difference?? and I’m so sorry???? :’) asdfghjkl I love you so much I hope you like it ahhHHHHHUUhhHH)

Booker + Sam

Death clung to him. It waited, patient, filled every footprint he left on this earth and the shadows over his bed at night. It was strange that death stalked him this relentlessly, for a man who couldn’t die. Maybe it wasn’t waiting for him. Maybe it was waiting for him to love again, to take its recompense for his long evasion of it once more.

Never again, he thought. He had all he needed; his family, who hated him, and his guilt, which rotted through every crack in his soul.

Never again.

He didn’t realize he had failed his one rule till it was too late.

You were a neighbour, like the millions of others he’d had over his lifetime. He only knew you by your voice at first, and through it, he knew you. You sang in the shower, and you weren’t half bad. You were exuberant when you had friends over, but not loud enough to be irritating when he was trying to sleep off a hangover (and when your friend was crying, your voice dropped to a soothing murmur. He almost wanted to hear what advice you had to give.) You laughed so hard at what sounded like stupid romance movies that he almost worried you were choking. And when the smell of burning toast wafted from under your flat’s door, your panicked curses were very loud.

That was the day he put a face to your voice. He had dragged himself off the bed and went to knock on your door, just in case you were in danger of burning alive. The only thing that was on fire, though, was your face when you saw that the person standing outside your door with eyebrows raised in concern was the neighbour you’d been admiring from afar for so long. The aforementioned neighbour would have been content to leave your relationship at that: smiles and half-nods in the hall, if you hadn’t been drawn together like gravity afterward. The moment your eyes had met, something had changed, and you fell together like you had just been waiting to meet.

He couldn’t remember exactly when he realized he loved you. Was it a quiet night made for quiet questions, a bottle of wine between you? Or the night of traded music played through the wall, after he had heard you playing a song from a band he liked as well, and replied with his favourite from the album, the first time he had smiled genuinely in what felt like centuries? A thousand little moments made falling in love easier than falling asleep, a thousand brush strokes forming a picture of a new life. Questions blurring the evening into the night, the wonder in your eyes when he showed you his library and your hesitancy with the older books that looked like they would fall apart under your eyes, the night you fell asleep on his bed beside him because you locked yourself out of your flat… and the day you saw him die.

He would never forget the look on your face. He held your shaking hands in his, blood smearing from his fingers onto yours. “I’m okay. Sam, look at me. I’m okay.”

“How?” The word was breathless. He could still hear you pleading for him to hold on.

“It’s…”

Despite everything, your voice was stronger when you said, “Don’t say it’s complicated, Booker.”

That got a half-smile out of him. “Alright. That’s fair. Do you want me to explain now, or after I shower?”

Your face had paled from just the mention of the blood congealing on your floor, your shirt, his chest, and you had just nodded. He had left the room quickly then.

It had taken all night to explain. Once you had exhausted your questions you hugged him fiercely, refusing to let him move further away. The emotions tying you together beneath the silence were unspoken, but his answer came in his arms around you. Even when your breathing softened, he refused to move, barely even breathing in fear of the moment shattering. In fear of fucking it up. Your hand rested where the bullet had bored through his chest only hours ago, and the shame came for him – came for him, and left.

He had been attracted to you, and you to him, not by looks or personality, but by something deeper. Of course, he could be wrong, he had been before, and he would rather suffer a real eternity than prove it, but… You were special. You were one of them, he was sure.

The words came for him in the early morning, vicious in their simple honesty:

“Till then, you’re alone.”

“Not so alone anymore, Andy,” he murmured to himself. With a smile, brand new and fragile, he kissed your forehead to wake you. Who knows, one day you might meet her, might meet all of them.

[clockworkcheetah]

i was tagged by @bootstrapparadoxed to do this fic interview thing thanks for tagging me!

Name: Phoebe

Fandoms: Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency is my main jam. but i also wrote a couple of Lucifer fics and Pokemon SWSH stuff. also some og works that i sorta hate

Where you post: i use to post on ff.net like when i was 14, but i just use ao3 now

Most popular one-shot: ok this is kinda hard cause technically my lucifer fics are my most popular but for that fandom they really arent? its a big fandom so obvs they got more hits/kudos then my dghda stuff  i think ‘once brilliant blue, so innocent and new’ and ‘you’ve just been oversleeping’ are my most popular fics in terms of fandom + kudos

... i have noticed my smut fics get a fair bit of attention too lmao

Most popular multi-chapter:  i havent uploaded any (yet) but i have a multichapter dghda fic that almost every chapter is fully written (needs a ton of editing tho (and a title...)- theres only 3 chapters tho) and a swsh fic that needs some outlining before i write any

i think people will like the dghda fic cause itsssssss smutty

Favourite story I’ve written so far: yjbo is the one im most proud of obvs a lotta work went into that and its 20k (i normally write 1k-5k length fics)

but obbsian is my fave cause idk i just liked the vibe throughout i like the soft shit lmao

Fic you were nervous to post: uhm yjbo because well it is a long fic and also there werent really any ace!todd fics (still arent... i swear im gonna increase the numbers- im rly fond of that hc) so i wasnt sure how well people would take that? i do know ace fics can get hate (i havent so far) so i was a little wary also ‘making more music and fine romance’ because first e-rated fic and i felt very selfconscious at the time (i have written some more smut since and i am still shy about it even tho smut is fun to write asdfghjkl;)

How do you choose your titles: lol song titles mostly or just whatever assortment of words that i think could work

Do you outline: i did for the ofar series especially yjbo (partly why it ended up being so long i had so many notes, summaries and structures filled out for it) ive kinda slagged it off a bit and i rly need to get back to it because im not one of those people who can write amazing things from the top of my head yknow? i like to have structure

Complete: basically everything i started in 2020 is complete

In progress: that 3 chapter brotzly fic id say its 75% done the first chapter needs the most work tho cause thats where the plot is (ch2+3 are basically pwp)

Coming soon: a kbnz fic and i also have a bunch of fic ideas for dghda tho i cant promise they will be written

Prompts: as much as i would like too i know ill never write them if i got them

uhh i tag any mutual who writes? @raloire and @thyrem? anybody else?

[jennagrinsoverml]

ML Fic Recs - Angst

I’m back with another Miraculous Ladybug rec list! As before, I’m trying to rec fics that readers are less likely to have read, generally trying to keep to under 500 kudos on AO3. You can find my other rec lists on my blog under #jennarecsml

If you enjoy these, please reblog so more readers can find these awesome fics!

I’m a sucker for fics that hurt me. The sting of rejection, the pangs of unrequited love, the hurt and the suffering yesssss, give it all to me!! Read these fics and come suffer with me! (Most have happy or at least bittersweet endings.)

Persuasion by InkyCoffee

Of course, she probably wasn’t going to be there in person. And if she was, she may not even remember him. And if she did, she would probably throw him out without an interview.

She would be well within her rights.

He didn’t deserve to be in her presence.

Still, he hoped.

She was why he was back here, after all.

One-shot. Adrienette. Post-relationship (i.e. they were together but they’re not anymore.) and post-Hawkmoth defeat. Adrien knows. And worse than that, he knows he’s responsible for breaking her heart. My hearttttttt, it breaks. The tension between them just hurts in the best way. But this is seriously beautiful.

Alone by plikki

Adrien thought he knew what it meant to be alone, but he had never felt like that before in his life.

One-shot. Set after S4 Gang of Secrets, this fic just HURTS because Adrien is hurting and it’s even worse because we know that something like this is probably coming. Plikki’s Adrien characterization is perfect. There’s no comfort to be found here, but you should still read it.

our hands would not be taught to hold another's by @ladyofthenoodle

Adrien knew that wasn’t fair to blame Ladybug for this. There were rules, and now that Master Fu was gone, it was her job as the Guardian to enforce them. There were rules, and he knew the rules, and he broke them. He hadn’t meant to, but he did.

That didn’t make losing the ring hurt any less.

Plagg shot Ladybug a skeptical look. “And you really think you can do this without him?”

Ladybug bit her lip. “I… I don’t know. But I have to. It’s my job, I shouldn’t need… I should be able to do it with anyone."

But… maybe there couldn’t be Ladybug without Chat Noir. Ladybug by itself didn’t sound nearly as cool.

Multi-chapter. I put off reading this fic for the longest time because I didn’t know if I could handle the angst of Ladybug taking the ring from Adrien, and I really regret that because it’s SO FREAKING AMAZING. Missnoodles does a fantastic job of exploring their relationship and their characters and really does the work of exploring all the feelings. I really can’t sell this one enough.

Anhedonia/When Adrien Met Marinette... by @mikauzoran

Chat Noir hadn’t been lying when he told Ladybug he’d moved on. It was only when he found out that Ladybug was Marinette that he realized he was wrong. Meanwhile, Marinette thinks that she’s missed her chance when Adrien insists that he’s gotten over his feelings. Now, they’re roommates and making themselves miserable as they pine for one another, thinking the situation’s hopeless. Things finally come to a head, and they’re forced to sit down and have an honest conversation about their feelings.

One-shot. Adrien is pining and feeling unlovable, and wow, do you ever feel all of his pain and anxiety seeping out of every word. This is just so heartbreakingly beautiful with a happy ending.

when you weren't mine to lose by @bugsandchatons

Change is a scary thing, especially when it feels like nothing has stayed the same.

It's been a year since Marinette became the Guardian of the Miracle Box - a year of struggling beneath a burden she never asked for, a weight that has her leaning on her partner more and more as the hours fly by, of letting him come to her, too, when he needs a soft place to land. A year of falling for the boy who takes on the world by her side with a smile made of sunlight, and fighting the growing urge to tell him what he means to her.

After all, they'll have time enough for that when Paris is safe.

But when the unthinkable happens, Marinette learns the tragedy of loving someone quietly, and the lines she'll cross to save him.

Multi-chapter. This is what happens when Ladybug loses Chat Noir. It hurts in all the best ways and the writing is absolutely gorgeous and somehow we still get a happy ending!

Echoes of You by @kittinoir

In the day time, she's Marinette - a normal girl, with a normal life. A normal girl, with a normal life. A normal girl, with...

Multi-chapter. You know the angst train everyone’s been riding since we learned in Miracle Queen that renouncing the miracle box costs the guardian their memories? Kittinoir murders us with it. Marinette’s got giant gaps in her memory she’s struggling to understand while Adrien is desperately trying to figure out just what the hell happened to his lady. Lots of angst and a mystery and this fic is one hell of a ride from start to finish! (There’s also a sequel that’s a WIP but I haven’t started reading it yet.)

balancing act by @fictionalinfinity

“Besides, being Ladybug always came first. It came before school, friends, and sometimes even family. Now it had to come before her health. Marinette had a duty to Paris. She wouldn’t let them down.”

Or, being both Ladybug and the Guardian starts to take its toll on Marinette.

-

the epilepsy au literally no one asked for

Multi-chapter. Oooh boy. Fictionalinfinity does an amazing job of weaving these new symptoms into the existing canon in a way that feels completely organic and believable. The characterizations are AMAZING, and the conflict is just so completely believable and absolutely heart-wrenching.

I swear I’ll let you go in the morning by plikki

When you lose all certainty in your life, you hold onto the only person that keeps you from falling apart.

One-shot. Hawk Moth’s identity is revealed and as a result, Ladybug and Chat Noir share their identities with each other. Not nearly as angsty as some of the other fics on this list, but have some sweet hurt/comfort after all of that.

When Push Comes to Shove by @thatanonwiththeoc​

Adrien had lost everything after he ran away from her in that sewer. His miraculous, his kwami, his Lady.

However, little did he know that she caught a glance of him without him knowing it, and she wasn't about to let him leave just yet.

One-shot. Set after the NY Special. Once Marinette realizes who ran away from him, it changes everything and the way they interact is just sad and sweet and lovely. The happy ending makes up for all the hurt!

Cut here because of spoilers for season 4 below

Behind the Masks by @mikauzoran

Ladybug’s announcement that she revealed her identity to someone and her insistence that she and Chat Noir still have to keep their identities secret from each other leave Chat Noir in fear of akumatization. When he goes to Marinette for help, she realizes just how badly she’s screwed up and becomes determined to make things right between her and her partner.

One-shot. Set after S4 Gang of Secrets, this was exactly the kind of angst-fest I wanted. Adrien has a lot of buried issues and we’re seeing that explored more in season 4. But Adrien doesn’t seem to want to acknowledge any of that. But here he does and it’s beautiful and the ending asdfghjkl please read!!!

[meandmyechoes]

Re: Midichlorians and mitochondria??????

asdfghjkl; @rise-of-ahsoka​ let’s lose our minds together [original post]

I look up the Midichlorians on wookiepedia and the first thing they tell me is they are sentient: Midichlorians are “sentient lifeforms that shared a symbiotic relationship with the Force” lol I'm throwing that out the window and equating that to be like the kyber crystals’ consciousness because ‘sentience’ is more a philosophical concept than scientific definition. and wouldn’t it be creepy to think there are sentient beings insider your body (my whole skin/gut microbiome coming after me right now)

I have to clarify the Time article first: Anakin’s midichlorian count is 20,000+ (no unit), not per cell. Seeing how it is his blood taken, the test is more analogical to a blood cell count (human average: 4000-11000/μl). In this case, the Midi-chlorian is more comparable to one free cell among the blood.

Two paragraphs in and it feels like the Midichlorian/Mitochondria equivalence is breaking apart. I’m not willing to let it go yet, but we could brush aside the bottomless mystery of Midichlorian function and structure if it is not an organelle. But mitochondrial DNA is still in the court, Force inheritance…. hmmm

I love the endosymbiotic theory! It’s simple = elegance! I’m totally willing to adapt the endosymbiotic theory as the origin of life for gffa. We can’t answer whether the first endosymbiosis occurred by pure chance or natural selection in the real world, but we can blame *cough* the Will of the (Cosmic) Force in Star Wars, especially when midichlorians have to be manifested into the physical plane from the energy world of the Wellspring of Life. Must midichlorians incorporate with lifeforms to maintain its form and stability in the physical plane? [1]

When Old Ben defines the Force as “an energy field created by all living things”, it implied Life came before the Force. It can be read as a statement about the Living Force. We have to hold Obi-wan to the highest narrative credibility because he is basically creator proxy here. Qui-Gon explained that the Cosmic Force is “renewed” by the Living Force, suggesting that the previous exists before the latter. The order of events is Cosmic Force -> Life (midichlorians included) -> Living Force, and the loop feeds back. The concept of Cosmic vs. Living Forice is really convenient for my argument, thanks Clone Wars.

I’m essentially saying the Will of the Force is the missing link to the origin of life, and the method is willing midi-chlorians into existence. [2]

Force Inheritance/Genetics

They don’t express a count in cells, but there could certainly be code in the lineage DNA that favours midi-chlorian production/connection/theft from the Cosmic Force. This also solve the “different mitochondria count in different cells”. I’d assume a person has a uniform midichlorian count throughout their circulation. That would make more sense than saying perhaps a person’s biceps are more “force-sensitive” than their butt.

Force inheritance is difficult because it’s not a Mendelian trait. There is a spectrum of Force sensitivity levels instead of something you either have or don’t. It’s popular belief that the Force should “work at random” for it’s only “fair”. It sounds like it makes sense at first, but the more I research, it actually isn’t? No way in canon did I find someone actually saying “the Force works at random.” Congenital and environmental factors are apparently the biggest players of development, and random mutation only plays a small role in population ecology. If we acknowledge “the Will of the Force” to be a “random” mutation, because it would be beyond the understanding of most in-universe residents, and that it affects the individuals Force sensitivity outside of their genes/environment, then Force inheritance are thus influenced by a mix of all three factors: genes, environment, “the will of the Force”

We are presented with the observation that powerful bloodlines exists, how do we work our way up from that? The straight-forward answer is Force-sensitivity is a favoured trait in the evolutionary race. (or not, more later) I don’t have good candidates of what exactly the selective pressures are, if nothing it definitely helps in sexual selection. 

Considering a connection with the Force is a survival advantage, it would be a preferred trait to pass on, and the percentage of Force-sensitives among a lineage/population would only increases. This could explain why some species are more prone to produce Force users. (An in-world analogy would be Kriffar and their innate psychometry)

The environmental factor could come from the fact that some planets are more “strong with the Force” and thus would demand their inhabitants to either be more in tune or out of touch with it. If their environment demands a detachment or immunity to the Force, the opposite is still true as Force-sensitives’ genes are discouraged by natural selection again. An immune population can also be created through genetic drift, when all Force-sensitives of the species are eradicated, by massacre or other chance events, that deprived the gene pool of (high) midi-chlorian (counts).

*shying away for the mess of a small sample called Skywalkers because I’ve only seen three generations of five people in the six films and has minimal knowledge about the House of Skywalker-Solo*

How it might apply to Jedi/Force user training:

This part is really original! I find myself nodding to all of them. It’s plain enough to realize it takes training to master the Force, but to hear a scientific explanation behind that is so satisfying. is it also throwing shades at rey’s power levels because i like salt.

My favourite is the “entirely different evolutionary lineage”. I assume you mean the Yuuzhan Vong? that literally came from another galaxy/dimension? Of course they would evolve separately from the main universe!

[tangent 3]

Quotes for reference:

All that surrounds us is the foundation of life, the birthplace of what your science calls midi-chlorians, the foundation of what connects the Living Force and the Cosmic Force.

When a living thing dies, all is removed. Life passes from the Living Force into the Cosmic Force and becomes one with it. One powers the other. One is renewed by the other.

(Priestess to Yoda about the Springs of life, 6.12 Destiny)

All energy from the Living Force... from all things that have ever lived, feeds into the Cosmic Force, binding everything and communicating to us through the midi-chlorians.

(Qui-Gon to Yoda about his contact, 6.11 Voices)

More Background Research

I looked into galactic history, for reasons. As expected, there is no well defined of cosmological origin in gffa. The earliest defined history is "Over 20 millenia BBY" (20,000+ years ago), and that is when hyperspace travel is common place around the birth of the proto Jedi Order. 

Real-world counterpart: unit: billion years (source wikipedia)

Cosmic orgin: 137 

Solar System: 50

Earth: 46

First Life: 3.77 

“Animals": 0.609

Human: 0.00003 (30,000 years)

With just 10,000 years more to go between us and the earliest gffa technology I think it's pretty safe to parallel our galaxies, and their subsequent evolution. 

[tangent 1]: this give me anti-matter chills, hmmm, pursuing this, midichlorians being the anti-matter, and incorporating with lifeforms is how they maintain its from and stability in the physical plane? like when radioactive atoms decay and change element to stay stable? or bosons decaying into energy?

[tangent 2]: Yeah I’m saying the Will of the Force is the missing link to the origin of life, and the method is willing midi-chlorians into existence. Is that mystical and religious enough for you fanboys?

This part is more of a frustration on how society diminishes science. I’ve never understood how would an extra angle harm the mythos of the Force. I second the idea that it’s only one of MANY attempts to understand a cosmic mystery, and a lot could change in the 30 years between PT and OT in the scientific world. Both a scientific and philosophical lens to understand the Force are valid and they don’t contradict each other. Giving more of our society to Star Wars, the actual scientists/philosophers studying the topic would only be of a even smaller percentage given the vastness of a galaxy compared to our humble planet. There would have been very little attention from the society as a whole as it doesn’t impacted them; except from the Jedi themselves, or academics/guardians like Chirrut’s sect. People saying midi-chlorian counts took the mystical out of it probably thinks the maths of flower petals took away its beauty. It’s not, it lent you an all-rounded perspective to appreciate the power of nature.

[tangent 2]: There’s really no way to answer these questions without experiment. Pure theory doesn’t work here now. But just imagining myself as an in-universe scientist for a moment, it would be so difficult to find a proper sample group and get the grant. Force-sensitives are rare and most on the record is going to be trained as a Jedi. The first obstacle is thus to find a control group of untrained Force-sensitives, but then I’d only have infants to study at best. Secondly, I can’t imagine the mystery of the Force and midichlorians being a profitable or transferable technology, so RIP my grant proposal. (hey there’s a chance I am a Jedi myself)

Seeing how the midichlorian test is not a universal test for newborns, the science around midichlorians is probably a barren field. The Jedi have relied on the Force to discover new Force babies (however that works with holocrons and such), and the Republic is unlikely to fund such a rare area of study. The Force, either as a philosophical concept or a scientific one, receives little popularization across the galaxy.

[tellthosewithpowersafeintower]

This is Davey, By The Way

Summary: Davey writes Jack a letter from the Refuge. So maybe he's a little in love with him and maybe he wants more than anything to know they're all going to be okay and maybe, maybe he's a little bit gone over Crutchie too and doesn't know what to do- but he'll be fine.

He will.

...And if he isn't, Davey has a few things he would like to know he said to the boys he loves one last time.

Trigger Warnings: The Refuge. Violence, references to blood/injuries, child abuse, very very brief allusions to period-typical homophobia

Notes: Holy heck it's finally here! Hi friends, and... welcome to my newest AU becoming a series. I was originally nervous about whether I should post this for Strike Day, but here we go. A huge shoutout to @all-the-lovely-newsies because I LOVE THEM and they were the first person to listen to me talk about this when I sent them like a couple paragraphs rambling about my ideas

Go take a look at @jackie-think-about-it. They made me art for this fic (an art writing combo pair)! I am so happy right now, it's so beautiful, please go give them love they're just... the sweetest and I love their work so much. Thank you so much!

A quick note: this is a Davey in the Refuge/his Letter From The Refuge AU, and in it his father had his accident at work a few months sooner and thereby Davey knew Jack, Crutchie, and the rest of the boys better by the time the story starts. I've really loved writing this and I look forward to sharing it with you all

(read it on ao3, I like... really prefer the formatting on there asdfghjkl;)

Dear Jack,

The harsh scribble of a pen on paper was as subdued as he could make it. The lanky, dark-haired boy was hunched over, perched on the edge of the top bunk. He was curled up, taking up as little space as he could manage and a mix of sweat and blood stuck his faintly damp hair to his forehead. His eye was beginning to bruise, colors pressing deeper near to the side of his nose, and two large blots of bruises were visible stretching both sides of his jawline. Davey Jacobs inhaled, a shuddery, ragged and stared down at the first words he'd managed.

The room was cold, and dark, and any sense of light seemed blotted out in an almost starless night distanced by solid stone walls, cell bars, and an island walled off from the rest of the city. The shame of New York City. Davey hesitated, tapping his pen to his chin, once, then twice. He sighed and scribbled it out.

Jack,

No. Davey groaned quietly and after rapidly removing his second attempt furiously scrubbed at the paper. His wrists were marked with neat white lines from too-tight cuffs and he wondered idly if they'd look worse in a few hours time. Had it really only been a few hours since he'd stood in the Square, side-by-side with the others? Had it really only been hours since he last heard Crutchie laugh, watched him help Les tear a pape with his crutch, or felt his heart stall in his chest in terror when the bulls showed?

His sleeves were rolled up past his forearms and his vest was strewn awkwardly and torn around the edges. Some of his buttons were torn off and most every sense of the prim, neatly done school clothes and decorum had been entirely abandoned. Davey had no idea where his tie might even be.

He rolled the pen between his fingers, hands trembling faintly before he huffed and pressed the tip and started to write again.

Dear Jack, Greetings from the Refuge.

Better. Davey sighed, ribs seizing painfully in protest. Dirt and soot smudged along his cheeks and face, and when he glanced down and around the tightly packed bunks and hunched, gaunt bodies he heard someone cough. Davey grimaced. He supposed it was a fitting intro.

How are you?

He paused and bit his lip. He pulled his leg up to his chest to brace himself and he hissed sharply. Davey's breathing went ragged and he tried to purse his lips to quiet it, his ribs twinging and vision swimming dangerously. This... Davey was more bruised than he'd ever been before. He ached in more ways than one. A thought struck him and he lurched forwards, pen shaking in his hand as he ignored the sudden spasm of pain in his chest.

Is Les okay? I suppose I wasn't much help yesterday.

Davey ground his teeth and breathed in sharply through his nose. This wasn't- this wasn't working the way he wanted it to. He reached up to scrub furiously at his eyes.

He really hoped Les had gotten out before the worst of it. The other boys had been in the midst of chaos, full out panic and screaming, and Crutchie...

Crutchie.

Maybe if he'd moved sooner they could've-

No. He couldn't go there. Davey dropped his gaze and felt his fingers twitch before he picked up the pen and tried to press on.

Les needed to be okay. He had to be okay because if he wasn't Davey- a harsh choked sound tore its way from his throat and he clamped a hand over his mouth, breathing in sharply. He went rigid, body going taught at this fierce shushing from the boys below him. He opened and closed his mouth, something twisting in his chest and he wanted to apologize. His mouth was dry and when he opened his mouth no sound came out.

He didn't think the kids here or the guards would talk too kindly to stammered apologies anyway.

(He didn't think they would take too kindly to the way sound and light burned too much too much too much and some days for all his smarts he couldn't make a noise. He didn't think the guards would like the way he blurted things out without realizing it was not supposed to be spoken and send senseless things casually and didn't like lifting his head to met someone's gaze.)

Snyder soaked us real good and went for Crutch.

Davey blinked, eyes flicking wider and he chewed at his lip nervously. Oh! Oh, right.

Oh, uh, Jack? This is David

He faltered and swallowed hard. "No," the word was a murmur but his voice was cracked and rougher than he expected. The tall boy pressed closer to the scrap of parchment and traced out in neat script.

This is Davey, by the way.

Davey breathed his name and found the faintest hints of a smile on his features. Davey. Something about the way it fell from Jack's lips made something flutter inside his chest. He didn't think he'd be anything but harsh inflections of 'David' in days to come. He flinched at the thought and made a noise of pain at the way his ribs shifted unpleasantly. He wouldn't be all that surprised to find if they were badly bruised.

He wanted to hold on to being Davey as long as he could.

All these guards, they're just rude. They say jump, boy, you jump or you're screwed.

Davey winced back. He shouldn't- he shouldn't say that. The words in his head sounded suspiciously like the newsboys' voices swelling in his head. Voices he wanted to cling to.

Jack knew that.

He'd been here before- he'd gotten out.

He didn't need to worry about Davey. He and Crutchie, the boys, they shouldn't- they didn't need to worry about kids like him.

But hands faintly trembling and something swelling in his throat, Davey couldn't bring himself to erase the words glaring up at him.

The food isn't so bad, not so far Since so far they've brought us no food!

That... there was at least one positive, right? He made a noise and deadpanned in a murmur as he wrote:

Ha. Ha.

Davey had never been much good at humor. He'd never really understood it, and he wasn't really sure anyone would find it all that funny. He raised a hand to swipe the hair out of his eyes and felt his lips quirk into a sad, bitter half-smile.

I miss the newsies Sellin papers in the evening, And a partner at your side.

He bit his lip and tried very hard not to cry. Being draped under the arm of Jack Kelly, hearing the echoing cries of "strike" when all there was was bright laughter and friendly pats and being yanked into lingering embraces, all the echoes of vibrant unending life. Maybe he was poor at hawking headlines, but he'd loved it. He'd loved the-

The next words came without thought, scratching themselves out before his brain could catch up. The pen was shakier and moved faster in his hand than he expected.

No strike or blood to pay to just get by. Any way, you know what? The square took a fair bit of thought: Coax the bulls and get goons to the window. They were scared so they took the first shot!

An army of cops and goons- that couldn't be coincidence. It couldn't be coincidence that they'd taken brutal force against kids. They'd been ready to arrest whoever they could get their hands on first, to hit kids and cart them away with cold iron cuffs pinched against too soft skin. It couldn't be a coincidence they were lying in wait to pounce on the kids the moment they took a stand for themselves.

Crutchie had gotten out. Davey could only hope he was okay. The Delancey's had shoved him pretty hard but- but Crutchie was tough as nails and had landed a few good hits of his own and the boys had him. Crutchie had gotten out and, grasping for his crutch, had made it out of the Square with Race's help long before Davey finally let himself scream.

He couldn't go there (and maybe it hurt a little that it was hard to think of Crutchie without seeing horror and tasting fear fear bitter, biting terror and lungs burning but unable to scream).

He didn't want his last memories of Crutchie to be the way he saw him last so he tried to grasp- a witty comment, the way a proud half-smile curled on his features after perfectly Crutchie snark

Crutchie who made Davey's heart do stupid flips and feelings he had no idea how to decipher because what even were feelings and why didn't they make sense- Crutchie who smiled and laughed like pure sunshine and yellow, beautiful, beautiful golden rays and Davey didn't know where to start but Crutchie was nice.

He missed them so much he ached in ways he didn't know people could ache and he didn't like it.

The cops appearance at the Square couldn't be a coincidence, the adults lying in wait to stop and smother any light or spark of life. It was too well-planned for that, Davey knew behind narrowed analytical eyes, and he thought the boys would be smart enough to realize that too.

He took a deep, steadying breath and shoved his other thoughts as far back to his mind as he could muster (he didn't want to remember) before scrawling out his next words.

It was hell for a night.

Davey felt his finger twitch, a compulsive jerk when he realized the curse had just escaped him, inked neatly onto paper. He could imagine his parent's disapproval- but all Davey managed was a tired smile.

It seemed silly and a thousand miles away by now.

That doesn't mean we've lost our fight! Pulitzer's regime's coming down, And then Jack I was thinking

Davey's words crashed to a stop, and he felt as though the atmosphere around him had shifted. He froze. His breath was heavy and he blinked furiously against the burning of his eyes.

We might just go, If you were staying? We could run away an evening To the theater, or away And if Crutchie'd come

The words spilled away, faster and faster, and that book-smart, smart-mouthed boy who'd fumbled into the streets with a slew of words echoed in his eyes. A lifetime of too many thoughts held away aching to be let out one last time.

Maybe Davey had spent too much time with Jack and his dreams of Santa Fe, but when he closed his eyes for a moment he wondered what it would be like. Beyond the cold damp walls and shuddering concrete, Jack and Crutchie's laughter filling the back of the theater. Just the three of them, together, somewhere beautiful and perfect.

His eyes flicked open and he remembered a too similar cry- was it only a day ago?

And if Crutchie'd come we'd seize our day

He let out a shuddery breath. It sounded perfect. It sounded like a date, the ones stolen for boys and pretty girls and maybe Davey wasn't supposed to want a stolen night of kisses with a boy, let alone two, but he didn't care.

He could do it. One night of stolen moments with three friends, and maybe, maybe they wouldn't think the same and all it would be is friendship but he would take anything if it came from them. Anything at all.

When he curled his fists, he wondered if the same need to cling to that dream of just a night of Jack and Crutchie and him was the reason Jack had never given up on Santa Fe.

Santa Fe.

The seeds of a dream, not a plan. But there was something so comforting, achingly perfect about that. If a place was Jack's, and Jack's want for home, somewhere to love and breathe and belong then Davey knew his was Jack and Crutchie. Without a doubt. Maybe he was a little too late for that.

Maybe Jack and Crutchie deserved better than a kid who was street stupid and stuttered eagerly through long explanations about whatever oddity fascinated him the most, oblivious to the fact no one else seemed to care, and shied under attention and burning eyes and fumbled with words when um's and uh's and uncertain odd syllables twisted on his tongue.

Once the strike makes-

The door skidded open and the reaction was like a gunshot. Boys jolted upright, leaping into position. His pen jerked hard, dragging an ugly line but Davey didn't have time to think about that. He desperately shoved the materials out of sight, hands trembling as he flung a mess of whatever cloth was nearest over his lifeline. He swung around, eyes wide, watching the looming figure who'd entered, held his breath and silently prayed.

When he stumbled back to his space in the bunk, Davey was bleeding. Badly. He was still shaking, feeling freshly forming bruises and aches he wasn't sure how to start to describe and he had to shut his eyes tightly to try and still his swaying his vision. With shaky hands, he fumbled in the dark and felt a weight of relief drop as he exhaled when his hands found the crinkling parchment of the letter. He drew it close and let his eyes rove down it and tried to smile.

Leaning into the candlelight, Davey ran a thumb along the dent and harsh scribbled line off the page at the end of his earlier phrase and winced.

Swiping blood to try to keep it from getting in his eyes, he coughed, or sobbed, some short painful noise that was gone as quickly as it came.

Damn this place.

The garbled curse was all he could muster. He didn't know what else to say. Shakily, he flicked a hand and tried to scrub the scarlet scattered drops off onto his pants and Davey somehow manage to keep blood off the paper. He swallowed a choked cry.

I'll be fine

He bit his lip hard and pushed on, hoping he could get himself to believe it.

Good as new

He didn't think he would be okay.

Look there's one thing I need you to do Newsies taught me what it all means to look after each other

I've never had friends, Jack, he wanted to whisper with that faint twinge of awe he felt hours earlier. I've never had no one like Crutch and you.

Eyes setting with determination, he scribbled out his next message.

Please tell all the fellas for me to protect one another The end

What was this, a novel?

When he heard a rattling cough and the bed creaked dangerously, Davey had to force himself to breathe. He didn't think he would be able to come out of here.

The strike had to go on.

Davey wasn't going to be there to see it.

So he set the pen to paper and hoped his smarts might be enough to give the boys one last push.

Your friend Your close friend

Davey swiped away a few shaky tears, breath hitching. And, selfishly, he decided on something he needed for himself. He breathed out and scrawled out with every ounce of care he had left.

My love, Davey

[leaf-greener]

Ok so I was rewatching TCW and I started out with the movie and honestly I’m only really a few minutes in and I am losing it over:

 -That clone who gave R2 a head pat.   -That clone who yelled charge and got immediatelyshot afterwards, that made me sad  -That clone who punched a droid, and then fucking died.   -The fact that DIRECTLY after that we see Cody WACK A DROID with his FULLY FUNCTIONAL BLASTER and then ROUNDHOUSE KICK ANOTHER ONE, AND THEN GO BACK TO SHOOTING MORE DROIDS

-Alright fuck it this is a live post now because I need to scream into the void and my friends don’t like Star Wars Fair warning, this is INSANELY long, and I’m doing this entirely for myself. I just don’t have anywhere else to put all my thoughts down freely and damn it I’m gonna put ALL of them down. 

-Ashoka, I love you but please god. get actual clothes. armor??? maybe??? Just, ANYTHING BUT A TUBE TOP. 

-Ok, so this movie looks pretty bad but I actually think the back grounds are really pretty. 

-Tbh early Ashoka is like, really cute?? (In a “aw look at the kid“ way, which is funny considering I’m her age-)  And if she’d wear some actual fucking clothes she’d have a really good design. 

-I can completely understand why people would find her annoying but lmfao Skyguy is fucking hilarious, if only because it pisses of Anakin. 

-All the Clones looking at her when she says it and Rex laughing helps add to everything. 

-Anakin: Captain Rex will show you a little respect can go a long way.   Rex: *Visible Oh Fuck Shit Don’t Give Me The Baby Jedi*

-Ashoka, I love you, but please Force stfu show Rex some respect.

-Ok but literal seconds later Rex actually seems happy to see she’s like, enthusiastic? (I think?)

-oH SHIT REX DROPPED A “DAMN” I FORGOT ABOUT THAT ASDFGHJKL (Rex there’s a child riGHT THERE)

-Fuck fuck shit this when Teth happens I’m not emotionally prepared

-Why are they in the middle?? Wouldn’t it be easier to go the side??? 

-Obi Wan saved a Clone :)

-Obi Wan ffs that’s a war crime-

-Why are the droids protecting the shield genorator literal fucking soda cans  

-So like, I know to a lot of people that moment between Anakin and Ashoka feels a little unearned, I just. can’t say I feel the same. Mostly because I can, relate a lot to Ashka feels there. You know, when you kinda fuck up but really, it wasn’t that bad, but you still feel like shit and you know other people think you fucked up too? But seeing Anakin being understanding is just, really comforting in a way. 

-Why the FUCK did they send ANAKIN to save JABBA THE HUTTS SON, do they not remember his childhood??????????????

-Actually I think they did a good job on Jabba’s model. When I look at him I don’t want to throw up. 

-God that opening shot of Teth from space is just, so fucking ominous and it fills me with dread. Especially knowing what’s gonna happen. 

-The Clones surrounding Ashoka have hair that’s going to kill me out of just being so BAD. 

-The Clones laughing when Ashoka says she saved Anakin is fucking funny

-ASHOKA IN A HOOD MY BELOVED

-DID THAT B1 DROID JUST FUCKING COMPLIMENT THE SPIDER DROID FOR MAKING A GOOD SHOT LIKE IT WAS A PET??????? THAT’S SO WHOLESOME?????? IT NODDED IN THANKS?????????

-RIDGE ILY

-Ok but actually though I fucking love B1′s. “Just fire right there!” is HILARIOUS. 

-”Oh my God” being said by a droid implies so much shit that I a not unpacking

-Ashoka, honey, you’re blocking the pilots view-

-This OST-

-Rex sounds so fucking Tired let him Rest.

-”No problem, the hard parts over.” Lmao, that’s hilarious.

- Oh God the dread is setting in. 

- R2 jus fucking????? Jumped- no, LEAPED out of Anakins ship???? How id he-

- Oh btw, I’m at the part where they’re under attack at the monastary, aka where shit gets real.

- Haha Willhelm (Idk how tf to spell it ok) Scream, vry funny because someone just died 

-Ashoka’s theme is gonna make me fucking cry 

-So many Clones being fucking dead is gonna make me cry

- Rex: Anakin   Anakin: Tf you aren’t Rex

- Lmao this poor B1 is trying his best. 

- REX FFS NOT YOU TOO! WHAT IS WITH CLONES AND FUCKING PUNCHING BATTLE DROIDS

-AGAIN??? I HAVE NO IDEA WHO IT WAS BUT GUYS STOP PUNCHING BATTLE DROIDS FFS

-The fact that one of the few named Clones actually named in a line is fucking “Odd Ball” is just. Odd Ball. 

-NO THE CLONE WHO TRIED TO HIT A B2 WITH A BLASTER- FUCK HE DESERVED BETTER 

-Ok the “We’ve got you out numbered!” joke was hilarious.

-Ok I really appreciate that Anakin’s first priority was helping his men, and that Ashoka had to remind him that they had to get Stinky to a medic or he would die and the mission would go to shit.

-The hangar getting blown up gives me -5 serotonine.

-I feel like everything happening on Teth should feel darker than they’re making it seem. Like, 

- PADME, QUEEN

- Oh my God girl, “as a reprisentative of the Senate, of course”???? You aren’t subtle-

- Hey look it’s Jabba’s queercoded-to-make-him-look-more-evil uh... relative

- Oh, UNCLE

- Padme is too good for this whole damned galaxy.

-Man the OST can be really good when it wants to

-Wait why am I still watching this I don’t care anymore??? I came here to see Clones-

Uh, kudos to anyone who made it down here. You’re a madlad.