#//idk what to do about it rn but uh | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mechahero · 1 year ago

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//some blog theme tests for an ic blog(?) (eyestrain warning under the cut)

#//i say question mark bc idk if i want to really go through with one?#//i feel like i'd forget about it lol #//there's a temp version up now but its got a temp name #//idk what to do about it rn but uh #//here! :>#//tried to go for the whole retro site vibe with his blog bc that seems like a very lambda thing #backup log {ooc}

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primordial0riginator · 9 hours ago

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I did it…kind of 🧍🏻‍♀️

#shut up alli #I was not interviewed by the manager of the department I applied for which makes me believe he wasn’t there today idk #but the guy I did talk to was super super sweet #we only rlly talked about availability and what working there would look like #and of course I said I can learn to do anything with time(true) and am available anytime (also true but morning shifts will suck at first)#I was told I would be called back for the real deal with the bakery manager so uh…waiting game rn!#*if they considered me that is. not a guarantee but I’m hopeful!#i think he said I’d hear back by Friday I kinda blanked out a little I was nervous FKKSKDK #but hopefully I made a good enough impression for them to consider me idkkkkkk I’ll do my best!!#now that I know what the process is like though I’m now good and feel much better. I’m very relieved KDKDKSKKS

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fluffycatgirl · 4 months ago

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please season 2 soon,,,,

#fluffycatgirlposts #this is like mostly about girls band cry rn #but also about like #bocchi the rock #and uhhhh #what else do i want a season 2 of that hasnt gotten one...#yorukura?#idk #if they can make a season 2 not be queerbait that'd be cool #otherwise i like am whatever #uh can't think of anything else soooo #girls band cry

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waterfallofspace · 7 months ago

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I have finished The M/entalist, a tv show that ended 10 years ago, a show that I'm sure no one else cares about, but that I am about to make my whole personality for at least 2 weeks as I have hyperfixated on it so hard I can barely breathe

so uhhhhhhhh anyways if anyone knows this show take this as an open invitation, or if not then consider this a formal warning that i may be reblogging things and screaming "P/ATRICK J/ANE" in the tags <3

#waterfalltalks #hi i am in LOVE with this man even tho hes like idk 30 years my senior #hes also fictional so <3 its fine <3 is what i tell myself <3 and its true <3 so its okay that i tell myself this <3 #what can i say okay he hits EVERY one of my boxes and has a charming smile while he does it #literal sunshine but clouded with the most beautiful darkness like hello sir #also one canon and it wasnt the best and it wasnt a lot and it was from the back but you know what sometimes we starve #so the fact im not going completely without is good enough for me and i will live nicely in this world #i do not know if i will write for him but i cannot find ANYTHING for this man so i might have to just do it myself #will anyone else care? no. does that matter to me? nope hes my beloved and i want c o n t e n t #only thing stopping me rn is free time and confidence that i have his mannerisms down #maybe after i rewatch it <3 again <3 and watch many edits <3 and maybe make a few edits <3 #anyways if you bothered to read this far uh- thank you? im sorry? dont mind me just losing it over my newest guy <3 you get how it is <3 #(i hope <3) anyways yes thank you!! bye!! i will go sit in a corner and think about my man <3 #not snz

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why-the-heck-not · 2 years ago

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hate hate hate the feeling of turning in a part of an assignment and being hella embarrased abt how it is :3 like, feeling someone’s just gonna email me like ”hey?? what the fuck ??? what are u doing here this is garbage” like yeah dude i dont know what to tell you, things did not go well this week

#doing one that’s like a bigger thing but has weekly deadlines #and this week hasn’t been good for that so it’s like very fucking pathetic of how little I got done #and it’s all basically shit anyways like i know it doesn’t work and won’t work with the way I’m going about it #also I’m only submitting the previous version bc i don’t even fuckin know what’s going on with this current one #like the code’s all bad and all over the place and I have no clue where i’m trying to go with it #so it’s like i basically didn’t get shit done this week #only made myself more confused #i need to take a step back and like really fuckin think what I’m going to do with this bc it’ll just get worse if I just keep trying to go #with this shitty thing i have on my hands rn #and also im like over an hour late already bc gotta write a weekly report and idk what the fuck to say like #’’oops sorry dude it’s shit rn i have no clue what’s going on but also dont have anything i could ask help with bc im too confused so it’s #just uhh this thing now; a mess <3’’#the way i’ve been handling this course like ?? uh oh will i ever have the audacity to step a foot to my campus ever again lol #yes im now writing this to procrastinate writing that weekly report thing #ughhh yes im hella positive rn all is shit #(also there was parliamentary election today and it didn’t end well so that might be why everything feels 5x more shitty rn)#april 2023 #2023

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slowprocessart · 2 months ago

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I rarely post art here but. Might as well share some of my oc art ig. Been trying to cure art block by taking pose refs from pinterest and drawing them.

#art #sketch #doodles #drawing #artists on tumblr #oc art #oc artist #uh. what other tags do i add #original character #original art #traditional art #idk #i cant think of anymore tags to add #the girl in orange is Brooke. they are very friendly. don't know how to handle stress or conflict so they just run off. l #she likes old abandoned buildings and film photography.#the man with scars is Roderick. he's probably been through most shit out of anyone in the story.#he lives in a forest bc he is a sort of a forest guard and like. he's bound by his bloodline to the duty.#he wanted to be in a punk/rock band with his friends. but nope. his old man died and at 19 his job became a glorified forest ranger.#the dude with ears and more arms than normal is The Fox (its true name would be a spoiler)#idk what much i can say about it that wouldn't be a spoiler.#i love my ocs #i want to eventually make a comic about them but i just dont have time rn #anyways. tag yap session over. i should probably post it now. sorry for anyone who had to read through this.#oh i should probably add a gay tag #lgbtq artwork #lgbtq artist #lgbt oc

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hinakyuu · 3 months ago

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threat of de*th by artillery aside. also malaria, jungle rot (ulcers), dysentery, starvation, etc… sun exposure was probably low on their list of worries in the pacific theater, but i found out there was a specific ‘sunscreen’ called red vet pet used during wwii and i wonder if soldiers ever a) got issued some, and b) bothered using it if they did…. i mean eugene’s pale, ginger ass had to be peeling or worse

#i haven’t read with the old breed yet (just ordered it) but i doubt there’ll be anything about it #since uh yeah there was a Lot More going on at the time #eugene sledge #the pacific #<- i binge watched it in a day n i’m currently obsessed #don’t know what to do w myself rn #is there ANYONE OUT THERE wondering the same things or am i just talking to myself like always 😭#hbo war #for good measure idk. i’m yelling into the abyss that’s ok

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unproduciblesmackdown · 3 months ago

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(genderly) chill as hell if i was only ever glimpsed / detected like this

#Shrouded In A Rectangle neither sleeves nor an open front to be besieged with? yes #just doing whatever else like doesn't matter. tee cargo shorts which is my best guess rn of my ideal outfit. + sandals Absolutely #unfortunately my hair could never do that. somehow neither am i yet like forties fifties? have i not been at this for eons?#i Can be like uh let's just nobody talk to me i'm busy pensively perceiving truths that you don't ever actually wanna hear about #just the other day it was like hey....a [way Having To Talk could be a difficulty / problem] was under my nose in this lifelong pattern #certainly noticing the Verbal Exchange Demand heaped upon burnout as like [delay delay delay struggle weariness stress]#but also who knows like spent plenty of time just probably indeed Not having to have such exchanges while burned out. not noting them #anyway like this isn't even [dysphoric Ideal Outfit until i could [whatever supposed even more ideal than that gender euphoria]]#though shoutout to that but like nah get shrouded anyway. the only [how do i look] im motivated to consider is: when it's a costume #when it's just me it's like. i guess whatever pants and a comfortable enough tee. need glasses. hair's w/e so cut quite short ig #might accessorize w/things that are fun to me like hey yeah yknow i might want a calculator watch #[yea as a kid it was like :( im actively appreciating the animals supposedly Gross or Bad] if i had hated little friends Sure yaay #if i had disorienting light effects like a pelagic creature. but you don't even need that. like hey i'm nd in real life. i got it #chat i'm in the walls too bestie lmao. if only my bigfoot pose reference Step was this good #tl;dr long rephrasing of my being like; now the gender slay....#& nodding & Noting when [worksheet exercise: what's your gender euphoria look?] is like shrug idk. but this is serving maximally to me; so #going Chat how can i up my uncanny stats. looking up ''isn't it like Uncanny knowledge e.g. so like why not....canny''#but i think the un canny is the Uncanniness Accuser's perspective. not of My ken. your literal weird one maybe #so again apt to be like jk i'm just autistic & shit; i got it....horror shit challenge impossible: Don't have sm typical mundane #[disability moment] as like Unsettling danger/malice cues. challenge impossible; again #subverted here like as [horror holding hands touching foreheads w/comedy] w/o Rescinding just casual disabled behavior/qualities #just remembered like three witches weird sisters etc macbeth. weird uncanny soothsaying gendering. word #anyway i should be shrouded (made no any connection whenever i put the blanket now over my head & shoulders in place min ago)#perhaps the real Ideal Look insight: i do not have any way i wish to be observed by people. secret passages / removed room anytime

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truethes · 16 days ago

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“go to hell” is basic. “i hope you have the opportunity to write a romatically dense character in a situation where even you can see the other characters romantic sense” is smart. it’s possible. it’s terrifying

#❛ ♡ › jupiter : 𝐨𝐨𝐜.#insane how i keep on finding such trait haunting me ... got back into a game with my best friend and omg ... the character who i write in #our dynamic came out in leaks like : oh yeah i am avoiding them bc i think they hate me and now idk what to do with this distance ...#even though he ran away and this character spent years. EVEN AFTER THEY FOUGHT last time they spoke! to make sure they were alive.#constantly getting people to check up on him.#this is. uh a common occurance on this blog. a lot of my muses really struggle to see romantic interest in them and. in turn. can take years #in canon material to recognise their villains. not to sound cliche but its not your muses its them #dived into alie.n stage lore and discovered til.ls feelings for iv.an were listed as #unrealized feelings which honestly? i think has opened up a whole world of thoughts and tbh like a whole new way of looking at the dynamics #i hold with my particularly more dense muses and realised yeah? yeah #! that makes sm sense... its not that they werent in love at the same time #(they were and thats why they make some strange decisions. trust)#but did they understand it for what it truly was? maybe #maybe not. the not is more telling bc yeah ... that just makes sense 🫠#anyway good morning! today is definitely a message / gaming day. im going to try and keep an eye out for memes today but after sending #about 20 asks my brain coming up for starter plots is not 100% rn JFSJFJSKFJSJDJ #dynamics on the other hand .. 🥰

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jelliebeanbitch · 27 days ago

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I CAN DO THIS!!!! I CAN LEARN TO BE A THEATER DESIGNER!!!! YES I AM JUST STARTING OUT AND DOING THIS FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!! THATS CUZ IT IS A TRADE AND YOU LEARN A TRADE BY PRACTICING!!!!! SO I AM GOING TO PRACTICE DAMMIT!!!!

#i am realizing i have the capacity to be rly ambitious and hardworking when it’s something i care about #which i didn’t think i did. because adhd and academic struggles and such #but another side effect of caring a lot about this is i am rly disappointed and worried when i feel like i’m not doing well enough #which is a feeling i think most people get academically #but i turned that feeling off in my brain for a long time cuz again. at a certain point i was academically struggling #and i couldn’t be disappointed anymore #like it was just less stressful to care a little less #which i am currently experiencing in my classes right now actually. need to deal with that #anyway #idk i keep finding out how much i don’t know about theater design and then feeling so so embarrassed #and thinking i might be a fraud #but then people look at my work and they say nice things and i am deciding to take that to heart!!!#and just hope that they’re right #it’s existential about career hours rn #also mandatory acknowledgement that i’m privileged for even considering an artistic careen #and i’m definitely gonna be living off ice soup if i try to make this happen #uh. that is all . yeah #ok yk what i should probably be a theater professor #that is definitely the biggest way i’ve seen theater professionals get regular gigs (on college shows) and make enough money to live #and also have access to massive prop and set collections!!!!!#which is what it’s really all about baybeeee #ok that is all goodnjght #theater #career #rambling

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keeps-ache · 3 months ago

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so Apparently a game i was running on my computer (without a cooler thing for a good minute there, because i guess i thought i was invulnerable to heat) may or may not have burnt out some parts of my machine. and it's been a couple months since i've played it bc it just stopped working one day and i just had to accept that lmao- but anyway i'm booting the game up again today, Surely this will go differently :3

#just me hi #so Apparently my 'computer has a specific problem with overheating and burning out the processor parts. and it's getting updated in the #middle of august'#well dude that would have been fantastic to know 5 months ago when i was running a game i don't even have enough vram to play !! ljfvsfj #rip boopbedoop i had no idea you were suffering so hard fghsfh <//3 #but also. i have been pining. open my app. lfjshfv #//also man it's Cold in here #well. okay maybe not Cold but i'm chilly ! ! i'm chilly man lol #but what if i get too hot in a little bit...#the considerations we must deal with hfsh #//oh yea anyway if the game (de2tiny 2. idk why i just keep calling it 'the game' like i'm trapped in a simulation Lmao) doesn't work i'm #prolly gonna catch up on omn1scient.r.v :3 #yee !!#and then maybe doodle some more bl.s chapter stuff.. who knows !! :>#//oh i definitely want to make rootbeer floats today for Sure #last tuesday was national rootbeer flat day.. we've missed a momentous occasion guys #there is next year !! maybe i'll catch it then :D #yyeeea.. i should put down a reminder.. hfsh #/i left for 5 minutes rn Uh #why can i not use my calendar without linking to microsoft and then feeling lightly threatened when they ask to link w/ my gmail and say #'we'll be allowed to wipe your Email and your Drive and your Notes and we're Downloading Your Birthday'#girl help they want to steal my birthday #anyway i'm not doing that. no rootbeet float remidners for me then #wait.. i frogot about scheduled posts #i'm gonna go do that !! next year... >:3 #//alright so going to go about my things.. toobles ~+~

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blizzardfluffykpop · 3 months ago

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I am currently trying to get my mind to transition from the fact that I saw the boyz & was in nyc- to focus on the fact that I need to get everything together to see changkyun in chicago- (it's kind of funny i have nothing organized for him- even tho i bought his tickets first...). like ik what I gotta do but i don't wanna do any of it... (i will eventually *soon* but i just need to complain about it first)

#kate rambles #like my brain is 'no i don't wanna' like a child rn #i wish i was kidding but i seriously need to buy my night stay #but to be fair chicago is closer to me (like half the time it takes to get to nyc from me)#kate rambles on from here #literally i went 'uh oh it's nearing august' and i hadn't even heard his album until i listened to it with kebbi today and i'm just #kind of running out of time to be making those decisions- i mean for me tbh the rental car is easy- that's like the easiest thing for me #to do- but it's like driving there- staying the night somewhere niceish- and another little factor that i have to get sorted #and all my brain wants to do is rest #anyways special thanks to kebbi if she reads these tags for listening to that album with me and i can't wait to hear your #experience and all your favorite moments! i'm most excited about that tbh #but by the time you're attending the concert i'll have it all sorted I believe ehbebha #it's just like 'i need to kick my ass into gear' but i'm also 'i don't wanna kick my ass into gear' 'i want to rest with pcd & mourn nyc'#yeah anyways- i'll be good and i know what to do- it's just a matter of doing so #also nvr been to chicago so that'll be an adventure #this is the most i've travelled for concerts in my whole life- and honestly since i was 3 this is the furthest i've gone #and since chicago will just be mom and me it'll be the furthest we've gone by ourselves #it's all so crazy to me idk- it's all happening so fast- and i'm strapped into the high-speed ride praying i got my seatbelt secured

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chromoluminary · 4 months ago

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I cannot stay at this job for a second longer than I have to this sucks so bad holy shit

#ember talks #my supervisor keeps saying she wants to bring me on as a contractor after the internship ends and I have no way of telling her uh #respectfully I do not think I’d live through the semester if I did that #it’s not even grueling work I just hate the content and the company culture is a funeral at best #I can do corpo culture w layoffs or I can look at photos of necropsies for 8 hours a day #I can’t do both but I have to this summer #especially with the continued assumption I’m cis and straight and neurotypical in such a weirdly aggressive way #I have a presentation that I’ve been putting off building the slide deck for bc I just. I don’t know how to spin my project #it’s basically a grunt labor project but I’m qualified enough to speak to the principles behind it #but I was told to not talk abt the principles #or about what an archive is #and I got flack for not working 20 extra unpaid hours last week but there’s no way for me to do that without getting fired #I hate it so fucking much I’m so tired #I’m so tired of being tired #I know every job is going to suck but at least the other ones don’t have me staring at viscera trying to figure out how I can upload it #I know I should feel fortunate to have this job but I’m just lying on the floor sobbing rn #I’ve been working since 6:30 this morning I should just. stop #log the fuck off give the fuck up try again next week #(Monday I have an interview for a hopefully chiller job in the fall and I’m very excited for it tbh)#the team seems cool and it’s . idk it’ll be something I can live with doing #and I can work my other school year gig and I miss that team so much and they said they missed me too and #god I just rly wanna work full time at the library I work at during the year

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svtskneecaps · 1 year ago

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the only thing stopping me from writing a fucking charlie slimecicle + elmariana + juanaflippa family centric time loop fic is the fact that i missed every single flippa stream live (finally plunged into qsmp a few days after tallulah appeared) and i don't have the time to watch back through the vods because HOLY SHIT CAN WE GET 30 FUCKING SECONDS WITHOUT SOMETHING HAPPENING ON THIS SERVER WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

#qsmp #the venn diagram of my awake time and bad's livestream time is a fucking circle #and i also WORK. I HAVE WORK. i can't watch vods for hours!!!#like i worked this afternoon. i got back home right as bobby's fate was sealed for the livestream. i had to watch an hour of vod to catch up #and WHILE I DID THAT #MORE LORE HAPPENED #LIKE THINGS HAPPENED WITH QUACKITY. TAZERCRAFT SCOOBY DOO'D ONTO A DRAGON SKELETON.#PEOPLE GRIEVED. JAIDEN ENDED STREAM ABRUPTLY. APPARENTLY SOMETHING HAPPENED WITH SOFIA.#I STILL HAVEN'T CAUGHT MAX'S POV FROM TUESDAY BC I WORKED THEN TOO GODDAMNIT #LIKE. APPARENTLY BAD KNOWS ABOUT SOFIA? DUNNO WHEN OR HOW. I MISSED THAT ONE. I WAS EITHER AT WORK OR CATCHING UP ON VODS #i. am. screaming.#like i understand why people watch live #it was soooo much easier to keep up when i just kept three distinct povs open and could hop between them like tv channels #oh forever just went down and richas is with him? no worries i have his stream open rn lemme just unmute #hmm cellbit is getting pretty animated let's see what he discovered i'll just unmute rl quick #quackity's saying some sus shit in chat lemme pop his stream open #instead of 'ok i want to see what foolish was doing at chume labs after bad stole his banana so lemme find the time stamp in foolish's-#HUGE FUCKING GIANT LONG VOD and watch thru that but oh. perhaps i want to see what mike was saying after foolish yeeted him.' actually uh #i don't think mike's pov was up that day (unless it was just on yt idk i'm not familiar w how tazercraft's stuff works yet)#BUT YKNOW. I'D HAVE TO VOD SCAN. ITS ANNOYING. so yea its way easier to follow #long tags #block game brainrot #shut up vic

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ennobaka · 8 months ago

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Living here would be so ideal if it were not for the horrors (the people)

#at my parents house rn and like #why do you exist too #just talked to one of my aunts (had a job during college babysitting for her so can't ignore when she came over ig)#and jfc #two genres of talking to relatives about your job: 1. they ignore you and keep talking. 2. they say you just have to keep trucking on #no matter what #and she managed to be both at once #me trying to find fault with someone who is making me insecure: uh she drives a car and is probably deep in an mlm idk #no but fr tho she's so vain and fake and like. that brand of rich people who pretend like they've earned their keep by being hard-working #and thinks that her opinion reigns over that of all other people #like sure. maybe she IS hardworking. but stop being so overbearing godssssd #anyway #oh gods that's not even mention the talk that another one of my aunts had with my SIL in law yesterday #gods where do all these aunts come from. jfc #fishtalks #great meltdown of 2024

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autistic-shaiapouf · 8 months ago

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Beginning to really wonder how much of my financial concern is manufactured and handed to me as opposed to something I'm genuinely concerned by

#bc like. i'm getting by just fine. i don't have anything to be reasonably worried about #but also when i was a kid my father would break down my mother's paycheck and basically explain how broke we were #and that May Have Affected Me Somewhat #as well as just. the way you consistently see the advice to just save! don't get takeout! necessities! and i'm not intent on living like #a monk nor am i intent on being on that grindset for financial gain #it's like i don't intrinsically care but i have so many messages given to me about how i need to care a lot and it puts me in a weird spot #i am simultaneously standing still and moving at mach speeds #i mean right now i just need a safety net while in between jobs; after that i need to save up to move out of state bc the uh #political situation and upcoming presidential election don't seem very sustainable for someone like me anymore #they weren't to begin with but i don't wanna stick around to see how bad it's gonna get #but it's like. okay and then what? save for what? going back to school i guess? idk #i feel like i keep asking myself what i'm trying to accomplish and keep trying to force myself to have answers #here and now when i have to be okay with taking things one step at a time instead of having everything here and now #it's simultaneously fine and terrible and i am holding two conflicting yet equal truths #i feel i may have a clearer head once i leave my current job. i'm trying to look but nothing feels appealing given how #burnt out i already feel. i dread going back into my workplace and i fear it's showing to the patients and i don't want that #i want a month off to rediscover who i am as a person outside of getting yelled at in retail and then pick something back up #could be feasible. genuinely could be. i need to sort out the health insurance aspect but. that's lowkey the plan?#to construct a financial safety net and then slam on the breaks for a while; see if i can strike up a deal with the staff about me #coming in for specific tasks bc we already know i'm quick and efficient with the inventory so i do have a little leverage #you know what. this is getting some of it off my chest and i'm starting to feel confident again lmao #i won't be doing weekends starting either next week or the week after so that's a start! i just think i want everything done right now #bc i'm afraid i won't have the chance again but i will. i definitely will #i just need to let myself get to that point; it's just the immense drain from the register work and the Everything that comes with retail #also having to accept that it's okay to leave this; there's not something wrong with me like. ''not being able to handle it'' or w/e #no mindfulness or detachment could've saved me; it was shit and i'm hitting the bricks and that's all there is to it #i've been thinking a lot about it all lately bc it's what's most prominent in my life rn of course #idk. pondering. introspecting. as i am wont to do #anyways if you've read all this you're a real mvp and i am kissing you on the hand #shai speaks

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