#//have a decade of journals

[chteretree]

This has been rattling around in my head for the past month.

Also it’s been over a decade since the last time I drew an axolotl!!

[writermuses]

It was almost impossible for Duke to wrap his head around what Finley had said. Could time really make what they had seemed so simple so inconsequential to the people they were? His happiest memories were with her, as were the hardest points of his life. "When you left, I respected that. I may not have called, texted, or begged, but that didn't mean I didn't want to. You've always been the person I want to talk about everything with. The highs, the lows."

Pushing off of the kitchen counter, he walked down the short hall to the room they'd left unplanned, the one he'd hoped they'd make into a nursery some day. There it was, though, that glaring reason for the separation. His brilliant best friend was destined for bigger things and he wanted the small town, picket fence, come home to the wife and a baby life. Reaching into the closet, he grabbed a small box, then moved to their bedroom and picked up a book with a pen tucked in the pages. Duke knew he'd held on too tightly, but here he was dropping it all in front of her in his living room. "I did that because all I ever wanted was for you to be happy. I don't know how to move on from being in love with my best friend. I don't want to know how to do that, that seems fucking miserable... I'll tell you this though, if you really think that marrying a person that doesn't know you is a good idea, that a relationship with secrets is the way to happiness, then you're not the girl I love anymore. The way I always saw it, Finley, was that we fought because this is worth fighting for."

Duke looked at the engagement ring again, his thumb instinctively brushing his own wedding band. "I had to believe that you'd come home, that a love like ours would find a way to work itself out. We both had growing up to do. I'm not the same person that's wholly immovable. You left and I learned the hard way that what I thought I wanted didn't matter if it was a future without you." Swallowing he backed away, "Anyways, that's yours. I need a minute." Heading toward the bedroom once more. The walls seemed to be closing in around him and his chest felt tight. Rubbing his knuckles against his sternum, at collapsed onto the edge of the bed before putting his head between his knees, baffled and breathless.

The relief that comes as the ring is presented lifts the weight from her chest, selfishly easing the guilt until she meets his eyes. It has been long enough that Finley would not consider herself particularly skilled at reading him, but the change in Duke's expression is immediate, and she can't bare to keep his eyes for more than a moment. "'Us'? It was so long ago. What was there to tell?" In fact, their marriage feels like it was a lifetime ago. Finley has worked so hard to undo everything about who she was back then. Look at her now: the shiny ring, the designer bag, and the matching outfit. "He doesn't know that I--that we were married," she says, closing the ring back in her palm and lowering both hands to her lap.

Her eyes follow him across the room as he paces from one side to the other. It's all she can do as she scrambles for something to say. This was never going to be easy, but this is the man she had planned to build a life with. Hurting him was never part of the plan. It's why this news had to come in person rather than in the form of divorce papers delivered through the mail. "You know it's not about the ring." Shifting in her seat, Finley wrings the chain through her fingers. "I'm happy, Duke. I'm--I mean... hopefully, you're happy and moving on too. It just... it feels like it's been a long time coming."

[bmpmp3]

sorry to be a bit of a hater but i do wish youtubers weren't so scared of making their videos just like, "reviews", whys everything gotta be a "video essay" all the time. every day my recommendations are filled with 40 minute videos titled "_____: An Underrated Masterpiece" where the first like five minutes are reading the wikipedia definition of "masterpiece" in a somber voice with dramatic themed text on screen. please just tell me how good or bad you think something is and use the rest of the runtime to explain why. you dont need to put on all these airs

[significant-narratives]

wake up babe new joseph woll athletic article dropped

[blackbackedjackal]

Friends are people you're able to comfortably share your interests and passions with collectively. If your friend says you can't like or enjoy something they like, they're not your friend.

[andrasta14]

~ my journal collection ~

[aeolianblues]

Steve Lamacq is great and all, but John Kennedy would really deserve recognition as a champion of new and emerging music. Also Tom Robinson, for the BBC Introducing network.

[byanyan]

so anyway, thanks for reading my little dissertations on byan's gender. sorry for not writing again today, i'm just. i'm fuckin goin through it rn man

[nofuneralplease]

Y'all ever think about how there's running rabbit motifs on tourdust in a song clearly about someone who may have dedicated a song about rabbits to another someone so many years ago? If it's always self-referential and ironic you'll neve have to think to hard about it. Food for thought.

[milflewis]

.

[raviiel]

JIMINY'S JOURNAL ENTRY, KINGDOM HEARTS II, TAIYOU

Childhood friend of Sora, Riku, and Kairi.

After Sora thwarted Ansem, Seeker of Darkness, in his attempt to access Kingdom Hearts, she went missing without a trace. She supposedly has a deep tie to Destiny Islands, and Sora was forced to defeat her Heartless in order to return their home to the way it had once been.

According to Leon and friends at Hollow Bastion, Taiyou mysteriously manifested inside of the castle without any memory of what had happened before disappearing again before Sora, Donald, and Goofy had arrived.

[tokruta]

Life isn't over until you're dead

Life isn't over until you're dead

Life isn't over until you're dead

Life isn't over until you're dead

Life isn't over until you're dead

LIFE ISN'T OVER UNTIL YOU'RE DEAD!!!!

[lesbiangiratina]

112/80 blood pressure i wasnt Fully careful with salt intake today and only took like 1/8 of a beta blocker. We’re so back. Hopefully.

[heirbane]

it's still sunday so here's a post about gaius' e.d.

Gaius has struggled with depressive issues for probably most of his adult life. the severity of it comes in waves, but after his failure at Mor Dhona, it seems as if the fog reaches a new level of normal for him.

it is compounded by injuries he sustains and the undercurrent of PTSD that begins to become obvious. due to Gaius' furious attempts to keep himself emotionally in check and reigned in, his emotional symptoms begin to manifest in physical ailments. if he won't seek aid for his nightmares or depressive slumps, maybe he will for ulcers, weight loss, and difficulties in bed.

as his failures begin to compound, he keeps fewer companions, making his inability to keep afloat not overtly obvious. it is mostly a problem he sees post ARR MSQ and beyond, when he begins to rendezvous with permanent traveling companions and the scions as a whole.

the infuriating truth is that it isn't consistent, and that he blames it solely on his "advanced" age. coupled with his other self-image issues, it simply spirals: he feels emasculated by his inability to consistently be able to have sex, and this causes him to simply... avoid it all together. the man is a walking pit of self shame and it is just another nail in the coffin.

after the Weapons storyline and as he seeks closure with all he's done, finding solace and companionship with the WOL and others, it begins to ebb little by little. he isn't able to "contribute" at every romp, but he's gotten used to it and simply views it as a fact of living, and there are ways to be dominant in bed that don't involve pe.netration. there are times where it comes after - as if the fear of performing itself had lifted - and, unless he is with a longer term partner, he will simply finish himself in the washroom.

if he is with someone he truly trusts and isn't simply fucking - well, everything before was just foreplay, then.

(there are alchemical and herbal remedies to help, but the answer would have to come to him, not the other way around. Gaius is absolutely not a man to seek out medical opinions or help, whether for his mental health or his physical health. he never has been. his struggles, both emotionally and physically, are simply symptoms of existing.)

[lesenbyan]

There are few things worse, I think, than reading a call to action memoir that is so close to right but really should have been shelved for at least 5yrs before going to print so the author has time to learn enough to see all the false equivalencies that really hinder the point

[acrobattack]

the boys really do just stick to people. Like little fungi