#//forgot i made this and this is a big oof

[taco-world]

Don't you hate it when your 'best' henchmen sucks at his job? 😔

[miraiq]

unintentional vanishing cause ya boi forgot the email i just made................ uh, well, thankfully through a process that took a few weeks i got the account/email. wILL BE TRYING TO MOVE MY MUSES OVER HERE and finish adding muses to the list and whatnot

[ryanmarshallryan]

Just Another Day at the Beach (Another Vore Story)

Felt like making a sequel to one of my favorite stories I've posted, "How Far I'll Go - A Day at the Beach." Made it quickly, but had a fun time. Happy Vore Day! Enjoy!

Sean went to the beach to watch the sunset. The little bar of sand was still fairly crowded with folks who had the same idea as him. He sat behind a little family, and just to the right of a surprisingly rotund man, who was lying down asleep on his back on a beach towel so big it must have been custom made. As he watched the red sky turn to twilight violet and blue, he noticed the family cleaning up and getting ready to go. There was a great big blue cooler next to them that they appeared to have forgotten about, so Sean called over to them as they were walking up the beach.

“Hey! I think you forgot your cooler!” Sean hollered.

“It’s mine,” said the big bellied man a ways over to his left. Sean thought the man was asleep and was surprised to hear him. 

“Oh! Sorry about that. It was just closer to their towels, so I thought -”

“I’ve been here all day. Beach was empty when I arrived. People came and settled all around my towel but getting up to move my cooler closer was just too much effort.”

“All day? And you haven’t touched your cooler? You must be starving!” Sean said, eyeing that big round gut slowly rising and falling with each of the big man’s breaths. “Do you want me to pull it closer to you?”

The big man made the slightest motion of his eyes towards Sean, “If you’re offering,”

Sean got up and went to pull the big cooler by the handle a bit closer to the big man. He was caught off guard by how heavy the cooler was. “Woah! This has got to be a hundred pounds! What’s in this thing?”

“Food, mostly,” the big man said, lazily.

After a few moments of struggle, Sean succeeded in getting the cooler into motion and pulling it close to the big man, though Sean’s feet staggered on the big man’s towel, and he tripped backwards. Before he could twist around and throw his hands forward to break his fall, he collided with the man’s belly and bounced over the top of it like he was doing a trick in a bouncy house. 

“Oof! Sorry about that,” Sean exclaimed.

“You all right?” the big man asked, looking ever so casual and unconcerned. 

“Fine. How are you doing? Didn’t mean to collide with your gut that way”

“It’s all right. But if you’re looking to get close with this belly, you’re going about it the wrong way,” the big man sighed, gently moving his index finger upward to point at his face, without even lifting his arm, “the entrance is up here.”

Sean scraped the sand off of his knees, and looked at the big man’s face. The big man opened his mouth in a big yawn.

“Maybe your cooler wouldn’t weigh so much if you ate some of the food in there.”

“I would, but I’m so content to just lay here. Unmoving… and calm.”

“What, do you want me to feed some of it to you?” Sean said as he walked around the big man to open the cooler.

“Only if you wanted to,”

Sean looked down to see a dozen footlong sandwiches, nestled into one side next to a couple containers of fruit punch, a few gallon bags of pasta salad, twenty or so six-inch long churros, an ensemble of fruit kabobs, a tupperware filled with at least fifty homemade arepas, and some half-melted ice packs. “Who are you trying to feed here? You’ve got like a month's worth of groceries in here!”

“You think I can’t down all of that?”

Sean looked from the cooler to the man’s belly, “I think we’d be here all night if you did.”

The big man chuckled softly, and Sean watched his belly jiggle.

“I tell you what, why don’t you unwrap one of those sandwiches and feed it to me. After that, we’ll see if your opinions change.”

Sean smirked, turned back to the cooler, “Do you have any silverware? It’d be easier to cut the sandwich if I had a knife.”

“No. I’ll eat it whole.”

“Whole? Bud, this is a footlong?”

“And?”

Sean was bemused, but did as the big man wanted, unwrapping a sandwich, taking a seat on the edge of the big man’s towel and gently placing one end of the sandwich into the big man’s waiting maw. The big man casually engulfed the sandwich and Sean felt it slip quickly through his fingers and get sucked down into the big man’s belly. Sean’s eyes opened wide as he looked from the big belly to the man’s face. “How?! That sandwich has been sitting all day. It must have been dry as hell! Ain’t your throat all scratched up?”

“Actually it was fairly soggy, but ah well. Food is food.” After a moment the big man turned his eyes over to Sean who was transfixed by the big belly before him, “Is that it?”

Sean came back to reality, and nodded in admiration, unwrapping another sandwich, and watched it slide into the big man’s digestive abyss. And again and again, the act was done. Sean nibbled on an arepa himself, while dropping them one by one into the big man’s maw and watching them slide down so easily. Sean shook his head in admitted disbelief. He put his ear up to the big man’s belly and heard the raucous symphony of digestive juices getting to work on the already massive meal churning away in the big man’s gut.

“How did you get so big?” Sean asked as he poured some pasta salad into the man’s maw and watched it disappear without a trace down the man’s throat.

“Oh, you know, be lazy, eat big,” the big man said after a slow drawn out breath, while Sean turned to grab some churros, “Number one rule, never say no to willing food.”

“Like free food?”

“I’ll let you think on it,” he said with a great big yawn that stretched his chest and pulled his belly up into the air even more than it had protruded before.

“Is this your usual day at the beach? Waiting for some cute guy to feel bad for you and your hunger, and feed you all this food?”

“Hmm… not all the time… but I will admit guys have been eager to fill this gut before.”

“I’m honestly dumbfounded, I have never before seen anyone eat this much and still have room for more. And I’ve been to a buffet with my competitive eater friend as he broke some day long fast! I mean you’ve still got half of this cooler to go!” Sean said, pulling fruit off the kabobs and dropping them into the big man’s mouth.

The big man swallowed and said, “This cooler is nothing, I’ve eaten four times as much as that thing can hold.”

“Ooh, I’m calling bluff on that one, your stomach would explode!” Sean said, tilting a container of fruit punch into the big man’s mouth and listening to the great big gulps, and watching the lumps in the big man’s throat travel down and out of sight into the uncountable layers of fat. “How you haven’t exploded yet, I may never know. And how can you eat so much of something and not get sick of the same old flavor?”

“Well, avoid palette fatigue by bringing some variety to eat. And if you’ve got a lot of one kind of food, just swallow the whole lot in one go, and you won’t have that flavor on your tongue as long.”

“Swallow the whole lot? So you’re telling me you could swallow the last five footlong sandwiches in one go?” Sean said in amusement, then amended, “You know what, I bet you could.”

“You’re starting to get me,” the big man said, as his gut groaned and gurgled. Five unwrapped sandwiches later, Sean watched as the intense mass of food slid easily into the big man’s throat. The big man’s neck seemed to bulge easily, and his chest puffed out making way for the food to find a comfortable home inside the ballooning gut. Sean rubbed the big man’s gut, having to sit up for his eyeline to be higher than the belly was tall. Sean gently shook the big man’s stomach and marveled at the size, the rotundness, and at this moment, the loudness with which it was rumbling!

“A foodie like you must have the best opinions on food. What’s the best meal you’ve ever had?” Sean asked.

The big man thought for a moment, enjoying the feeling of the food churning in his gut, and the feel of the soft hands of a cute guy rubbing the outside of his belly. “My favorite meal… happened not too far from here. On this very beach maybe a kilometer down the sandbank.”

“Soggy cooler sandwiches are part of your favorite meal ever? Wow we are very different -”

“- I wasn’t finished… I once had a guy offer to feed me leftovers from his cooler. He didn’t think I could eat it all, so I bet him I could eat all of it and him too.”

“Him too? Oh my, you are a greedy big guy, aren’t you,” Sean joked, poking the big man’s gut.

“Hey, he offered. And as I said, never turn down willing food.”

“Wait, so you’re telling me you actually ate a guy?”

“Oh yeah, he was the best part,” the big man smiled contemplatively, “Never had someone so excited to become food, practically dove right down my throat and into my gut; it was like an internal massage.” The big man paused for a moment and all that could be heard were the crashing of the waves in the rising moonlight and the gurgling of his belly. “I continue to eat big to remember that little guy, make sure this big belly stays bigger and better just how he wanted it to.”

“Well then, it appears I have discovered the elusive land shark, just waiting for a meal to walk into his midst,” Sean joked, while feeding the last of the churros to the big man, and rubbing his gut more. Sean turned to the cooler and saw nothing was left but tupperware containers and freezer bags.

“No more food?”

“Nothing else in the cooler,” Sean scratched the big man’s belly, stood up, threw his leg over the side of it and pretended to sit on it like a seat, “everything made it into this great big gut of yours!” Sean fingered the big man’s belly button and realized all five of his fingers could nestle easily inside of it, “The rabbit hole goes deep!”

“Well, thanks for feeding me that food. I was wasting away over here,” the big man said, raising his arm for the first time the whole evening and giving his belly a hearty slap, causing ripples in his belly fat. There was a pause as they shared a smile and some eye contact.

“It’s getting late, I should probably head home, but it was nice to meet you, big guy,” Sean said, dismounting the big man’s belly, and turning his gaze away, “But hey if I see you and your cooler around, maybe we’ll do this again sometime.”

The big man sighed, “Happy to make your acquaintance. Hope you enjoyed the sunset,”

“Enjoyed more than that,” Sean said. He noticed the big man glance from his eyes down on his body for a moment. Sean then realized that his swim shorts were a little tighter than they were when he put them on. Perhaps he liked straddling that big man’s belly more than he thought.

They waved goodbye, and Sean started walking back up the sandy beach, thinking back on the night and feeling his heart beat faster as his excitement swelled in his brain and body.

The big man laid back for a few moments, and counted off in his head, “Three… two… one and three quarters…”

“So did you actually swallow that guy whole? Like one big gulp?” Sean asked, suddenly back at the big man’s side.

The big man, lazily opened his eyes and turned his head to meet Sean’s eyes, “One big gulp,” he said, nodding slightly.

“And then what… you digested him? A whole human body?”

The big man paused and sighed slowly, “You’ve been listening to my gut churn all day. What do you think it does with food?”

“And he enjoyed that?”

“For quite a while. I think he fell asleep at some point and… well, became part of my belly fat. Simple as that.”

“That’s crazy,” Sean said, turning to go again.

“Nothing crazy about the miracle of digestion. Simple science.”

Sean turned back again, and shoved his face suddenly into the big man’s belly. He listened to the churning and felt his heart beat through the thick layers of fat. He straightened up and took a deep breath and looked down at the big man’s face.

“Yes?” the big man sighed lazily.

“You probably ate like a hundred pounds already, there’s no way you could eat me, too.”

“I never said anything about eating you,” the big man said.

“But you couldn’t eat me - if you wanted - be for real,” Sean prodded.

The big man was tired of this foreplay, “I already know the answer to that. Do you want to find out?” The big man opened his mouth as if you yawn, but let it hang open in suspense.

Sean let out a little laugh, “No, I’m just joking… No,” he said, poking the big belly. “Who am I kidding, yes, I do, I want to go in there.” 

The big man closed his eyes lazily for a moment, but raised his eyebrows. Sean straddled the big belly once again, leaned forward to peer into the man’s face. The big man’s eyes fluttered open and gave a slight nod. Sean gripped the man’s belly for support, then tilted his head down to meet the big man’s open maw. He felt his hot breath on his facial hair tingle. Sean took a deep breath then felt his face engulfed by a warm, wet tongue, that pulled him invitingly forward, exploring his neck, then his nipples and chest. His head and squeezed tightly into the big man’s esophagus, and Sean felt his arms begin to pin down to his side and crush his chest a little bit. He felt his legs fall backward over the man’s big belly, and his torso tilted down at an angle from the big man’s belly to mouth as it was sucked forward deeper and deeper into the big man’s body. Sean’s hard on scraped against the big man’s belly until it was suspended in midair over the big man’s chest for a moment before being engulfed by the big man’s mouth and squeezed affectionately. Sean’s own belly squirmed with pleasure as the big scratchy tongue of the big man tickled his abdomen. Sean straightened out his feet in elation and his muscles seized, as he felt his head squeeze through a sphincter into the big man’s stomach. He still held his breath as his face was surrounded by a thick soup of digesting cooler food. 

The big man gently raised a hand to his gut and rubbed it slowly, feeling it stretch and gurgle like it had scarcely done since that day long ago at this very beach, when the other had slid down into his belly. He tasted Sean’s skin and noted its salt flavor, from sweat and ocean water combined, and he felt his body yearn for a drink, enticing him to swallow faster and more hungrily. He felt Sean squirm his torso inside his throat, and pull himself deeper into his belly. He lazily opened his eyes to watch Sean’s legs flip about in the air, brushing against his belly and flinging some sand into the air. He felt a soft pressure in the middle of his chest, and realized that Sean was pulling his arms and hands down further into his stomach. Sean pushed against the big man’s insides with his hands, not to prevent himself from sinking deeper inside, but to pull his torso and legs into the big man’s stomach even faster. The big man felt the pressure in his throat ease and his stomach relaxed to make more room as Sean’s legs slipped down his throat. He tasted the scratchy sand clinging to Sean’s hairy calves, and swallowed hard to pull the rest of Sean in quickly.

Sean felt his toes pass from the cool night air into the hot, salivating throat of the big man, and took a deep breath as his face surfaced into an air pocket at the top of the big man’s stomach. He squirmed as the last of his legs passed smoothly through the big man’s throat and into the soup of so many meals churning at once. Once his entire body was encased by stomach walls and digestive soup, Sean curled his legs underneath him and rested his body against the mass of fat surrounding him. Both the big man and Sean took deep breaths and gained their composure. Sean felt the hot liquid around him and imagined he was in the most exclusive hot tub in the world. Fortunately the immense supper that had preceded his own body becoming food masked the scent of digestive juices, so he enjoyed the unique fruit punch with a hint of sweat aroma. He felt the big man’s stomach kneading against his legs and chest, and above his head. His enclosure seemed to shrink a little bit, like the stomach was giving him a strange hug, willing him to give himself over and become belly fat.

After a long pause, the big man drew breath and spoke, “You still with us there, bud?”

“Yeah! Don’t think I’ll ever not be,” Sean joked.

“How are you feeling, then?”

“Like a piece of meat! But in a good way…”

The big man shrugged with his eyes, “In a way you kind of are… Well, relax, eat a churro, and enjoy the ride.”

“I already did! Can’t believe you actually did it! You weren’t kidding.”

“I never do… I never do.”

[potatoqueenpal]

Yall I'm SO SORRY for dipping on you I have no ideas and I'm still fighting to get my avior fic back.

Have filler till I think of more angst

I present to you: Shaw Pack and Mates: Incorrect quotes

Sam, filling out legal paperwork: Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

Sweetheart : Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

Baabe: I personally was created in a lab.

Angel: I just straight up spawned.

Sam: We call that a traumatic experience.

Sam, turning to Baabe: Not a "bruh moment".

Sam, turning to Angel: Not "sadge".

Sam, turning to Sweetheart : And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".

Asher: Knock, knock.

Baabe: Who's there?

Asher: Boo!

Baabe: Boo who?

Asher: Why are you crying?

Baabe: I'm not crying.

Asher: Hello notcrying, I'm Asher.

Milo: Angel, you look deep in thought. What’s wrong?

Angel: Did you know you can look at any object and know what it’s like to lick it? Even if you’ve never touched it before?

Milo: I’m never asking you anything ever again.

David: There's nothing worse than people using big words they don't understand.

Milo: I photosynthesize with this.

Sweetheart: I’m this close to falling in love with Milo.

Asher: Your fingertips are touching.

Sweetheart: Exactly.

Asher, spraying a melted cutting board with a tiny water gun: We gotta cool this bitch down. Cool it down.

Sweetheart : I actually just put the cutting board in the oven...

Baabe, visibly confused: Okay, so they decided to put the cutting board in the oven?

Asher, spraying Sweetheart : You FUCKING DUMBASS!

Sweetheart : Dude, I forgot-

Asher: OH MY FUCKING GOD! We're trying to make Chicken Alfredo right now, and you fucking MELT the cutting board in the oven at 400 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT!?

Sam: *Watching in complete confusion while trying to process this whole situation.*

Asher: In your opinion, what is the height of stupidity?

David, turning to Darlin': How tall are you?

Angel: Sam said its my turn with the brain cell.

Asher: Square up.

Sam: And what do we say when someone refuses your offer?

Sweetheart : Suck it, boomer!

Sam: I don't know who "Boomer" is, but no.

Asher: *spits mouthful of blood onto floor* You’ve become far more powerful since we last crossed paths.

Dentist: Please stop, there’s literally a sink right next to you.

Baabe: I think my guardian angel drinks.

David: How did none of you hear what I just said?!

Milo: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Asher: I got distracted halfway through.

Darlin': Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Asher: Consider the fundraising over! Your hero has arrived!

Sam: Uhh… where did you get so much money from, Asher?

Asher: Well, you know, I’m pretty good at numbers. I just crunched them, I stretched them, I analyzed my accounts, I timed the market-

*police sirens start to wail in the background*

Sam: DID YOU ROB A BANK?!

Asher: Oh, come on, Sam, do you really think so little of me? *opens the bag as purple dye explodes on their face*

Sam:

Asher: …it was a credit union.

Angel: Tell them to eat shit, David.

David: Tell them yourself.

Angel: Eat shit, asshole. Fall of your horse.

Milo, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?

Darlin': Yeah, sure.

*A few minutes later*

Darlin': Here you go.

Milo:

Darlin':

Baabe: Why am I here?

Angel: Guess what I'm about to get!

David: On my nerves.

Sweetheart : That's a nice arguement, Milo Why don't you back it up with a source?

Milo: My source is that I made it the fuck up!

Sam: Aww, what's your cat's name?

Milo: Aggro.

Sam, yelling to Baabe: TRY AGGRO!

Baabe, on the computer: DIDN'T WORK!

Milo:

Sam: What's your favorite number?

Angel: I’m so jetlagged I can’t even regrender my chorf.

*Everyone stares at Angel*

Angel: I don’t even know what I was trying to say.

Angel: I've connected the two dots.

David: You didn't connect shit.

Angel: I've connected them.

And now, wholesome (amd flirty) ship incoreect quotes:

｡･ﾟﾟ･　　･ﾟﾟ･｡｡･ﾟﾟ･　　･ﾟﾟ･｡｡･ﾟﾟ･　　･ﾟﾟ･｡｡･

David : Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?

Angel: It was autocorrect.

David : Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?

Angel: Yes.

Angel: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.

David : I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.

Angel: I said within reason, David . How about I murder that guy?

David : So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?

Angel: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

Angel: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

David : I have a gun on that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shoot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

Angel: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?

David : Nope, there's 26.

Angel: Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.

David : Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one.

Angel: So give me the D.

Angel: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

David : ...Have you never taken a shower before?

David, sweating: Angel, there’s something I need to ask you-

Angel: Finally! You’re proposing!

David: How’d you know?

Angel: David, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Angel: I even picked it up once.

David: I want to kiss you.

Angel, not paying attention: What?

David: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

Baabe: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

Asher: Wow. They sound stupid.

Baabe: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.

Asher: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”

Baabe: I guess you’re right. Hey Asher, I love you.

Asher: See! Just say that!

Baabe: Holy fucking shit.

Asher: If that flies over their head then, sorry Baabe, but they're too dumb for you.

Baabe: Asher.

Baabe: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles.

Asher: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one?

Baabe: Seize the dick.

Asher: We have a problem.

Baabe: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

Baabe: I'm trash.

Asher: As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you?

Baabe:

Baabe: You smooth motherfucker.

Baabe: And yes it does.

Asher: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.

Baabe: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

Asher: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Baabe: I wrote you a poem.

Asher, already crying: You did?

Milo: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us.

Sweetheart : If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

Milo: I fell—

Sweetheart : From heaven?

Milo: No, I literally fell—

Sweetheart : In love with me the moment you saw me?

Milo: MY ARM IS BROKEN!

Sweetheart : Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

Milo: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?

Sweetheart : AS ENEMIES?!

Milo:

Milo walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Sweetheart , I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.

Sweetheart , sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

Sweetheart : I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.

Milo: That's great, Sweetheart . Especially considering the fact we've been together for 6 fucking years.

Sweetheart : I’m in love with you.

Milo: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

Sweetheart : I know.

Milo: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

Sweetheart: I was going to suggest we do Marilyn Monroe and JFK roleplay, but I’d get way too into it.

Milo: What- how?

Sweetheart: You’d be like “come to bed … Mr. President” and I’d be like, “I need to increase the amount of American military advisors in South Vietnam by a factor of 18.”

Milo: Wait, what's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Sweetheart is? Because Sweetheart is a straight up sexual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, Assachusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more ass.

Sam: The stars are so beautiful...

Darlin': They're just giant balls of gas.

Sam: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then-

Darlin': And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you.

Sam: Oh...

Darlin': Wow, Sam, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Sam: We literally slept together yesterday.

Darlin': That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

Sam: I love you.

Darlin', not paying attention: What was that?

Sam: I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

Darlin': Well, Sam and I finally did it!

The rest of the squad: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.*

Darlin': That's right... We kissed!

Darlin': What are you in the mood for?

Sam: World domination.

Darlin': That's a bit ambitious.

Sam: You are my world.

Darlin': Aww...

Sam:

Darlin':

Sam:

Darlin': OH.

Darlin': I have feelings for you.

Sam: Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?

Waiter: What would you like?

Darlin': Bring a milkshake with two straws.

Sam: *blushes*

Darlin': *puts both straws in their mouth* Watch how fast I can drink this!!

Darlin': You got a date yet Sam?

Sam: No...

Darlin': Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!

Darlin': Are we fighting or flirting?

Sam: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-

Darlin': Your point?

Darlin': I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Sam: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Darlin': O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Sam: Is it working?

Sam: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

Darlin': …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out in bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

Sam: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.

Darlin': Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

Darlin': Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine.

Sam: Marry me.

Darlin': This date is boring!

Sam: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.

Darlin': Then why did you invite me?

Sam: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Sam I'll do whatever I want!

(This is long as fuuuuck and took me a good hour, but it was fun)

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

It takes a mob part 2

part one is here.

part 3 is here.

Bill was honestly considering the store up as hostage as he glared at the isle.

30 dollars for the cheapest can of formula?? 20 for diapers??

Jesus this had to be considered gouging at this point.

Bill felt another headache begin to throb as he tried his best to decipher the difference between brands. 

‘Not a day of health class Bill,’ he grimaced as he gently shook one oof the cans. ‘Yet here you are.’

Bill never saw himself for fatherhood, he may have pondered it once or twice in his years but only in that sort of abstract way that one ponders throwing your favorite cup. It would be stupid to do, but for a moment or two tempting.

Then he got tangled up into the goon lifestyle and any notion of that pondering went out the building.

There were enough kids in Gotham without father figures, no use accidentally making another one if he slipped up.

‘And look all that thinking led yah Billy,’ his old man droned on in his head, ‘all the work, non’ of the fun. that don’t make a happy man son.’

Bill was half tempted to open that old burner phone; it sat in his breast pocket.

Even if all that would answer would be the machine.

But no, Bill had this.

‘what’s the worst that could happen?’ he pondered as he put the tin in the cart, ‘watching three kids.’

they weren’t his after all.

He found his cohorts in the next isle shaking various items at the kid.

“What in the name of Crime Alley are you two idiots doing?”

“Oh, hey Bill!”

Ken didn’t even turn to face him, what kind of etiquette were they training these guys with? 

“Again, what the fuck are you doin’? I asked you two to pick out a couple outfits for the tyke.”

“annnd we did!” Marv chuckled handing over a bundle of cloth, “We just thought that the kid deserve somethin’ cute for being so good to us is all.”

“Actually Bill, mind throwing in your two cents? which one do you think Dan would prefer the rabbit or the frog?’

Bill pinched his brow,

“I don’t know man, what difference does it make?”

“What difference?! Man, this is his first toy we’re talking about!” Ken exclaimed,

“This is a big deal! If he’s anything like my Me Mah told me I was than he’s going to be carrying it for years!’

Danny for his part blew a bubble with his mouth, great input kid.

“I- the rabbit, I guess! I dunno, maybe he’ll like Alice in wonderland or some shit.”

Marv seemed to perk up at the thought.

“Hell yeah brother! Boss likes those old books anyways, so he probably won’t notice if we borrow a copy for a bit!”

Ken snorted as he casually thew the frog back on the shelf,

“Marven, in case you forgot, Boss is very careful with those books of his. If you want to risk it, I won’t stop you but it’s your fingers on the line man.”

“Aww, anything for our lil’ Danny!”

The clerk raised an eyebrow but kept their mouth shut as the three goons went to pay. They kept their mouth shut as Bill paid in crumpled bills and let them get on their way.

“Yeah, well pass Ken wonderlad will you? This shit isn’t going to carry itself.”

Danny babbled as they tried to sort everything into a carriable position. He shook his new toy too a fro in an almost comical manner. Like he was giving orders before an ops.

Eventually they made headway and started to make their way back to crime alley. Only for Bill to raise a occupied hand to stop the others in their step.

“Wait a moment.. where are we heading? It’ll be suspicious if we head back to base. We clocked out hours ago.”

Marv shook his head,

“Can’t go back to my place, Gwen just got done with a double shift in the ER.”

“Kenny?”

Ken snorted and shook his head as well,

“We can try but we all know Me Mah is packin’ and not scared to point first if she doesn’t expect company.”

“Then where the hell are going to go?”

Bill didn’t like how the two of them were suddenly staring at him,

“No.”

“Aww come on Bill!”

“Nope. Nah ah”

Ken rolled his eyes kicked at his shin,

“It’s just for one night Bill. Tomorrow we can ask around with the other guys, but it’s not like we have many options right now.”

“My apartment is like the least kid friendly place in the neighborhood!”

Danny have a little wine as he shoved his face into Ken’s shoulder,

“Bill..”

‘Fuck…’

Bill pinched his nose as he closed his eyes, if only to block out the puppy eyes Marv was sending his way. For a big lug, it was stupid how effective they were.

“Fine… One night and you two owe me a favor after this.”

The two dumbasses actually let out a cheer loud enough to wake a nearby dog.

Leading the way Bill couldn’t help but wonder if it was too late to go to bar like they planned.

~~~~~~~~~

Hoodlums:

​@reinluna,@confused-moose-child,@mimilikey,@emeraudesfateandfandoms, @dolfay, @boredomfarie, @aconitewolfbane, @withoutcontxt, @onyxlightdragon, @satanicrutialspecialist, @phoenixdemonqueen, @vixen-uchiha, @skulld3mort-1fan, @bytheoldwillowtree, @illusionwolfwriter24r8, @thewonderoflebanon, @vipower001, @autumnwulf,

[jedi-luca]

Avenger Lane Chapter 10: Bad Romance

Summary: You and your wife Quinn move your family outside of New York City to Avenger Lane; a small private suburbia. There you face your toughest obstacle of your marriage. Will your marriage with Quinn be strong enough when a certain redheaded beauty captures your attention? 

Parings: Quinn Fabray x Reader / eventual Natasha x Reader(slow burn)

Warnings: Reader has a Penis, mentions of drug use

Previous Chapter. Next chapter

You were sound asleep when the door busted open. You gasped, jolting awake still half asleep.

“Oh my gosh!” Quinn gasped, falling out of bed thankful you both had clothes on.

“Happy boythday papa!” Finley beamed holding a cup cake and Beth holding breakfast.

“Aw thanks sugar booger.” You say sleepily as your daughters climb up in bed.

“Mom, can you light it please?” Beth urged her mom handing her the lighter.

“Hmhm.” Quinn blinked awake taking the cup cake and setting it on Beth’s table. 

Finley climbed up on the bed with a huge smile on her face. “Papa, it’s your boythday! Yayyyyy!” She clapped.

“Hmhm.” You yawned, smiling.

Quinn smiled sleepily as she and the girls began singing happy birthday.

“And many more on channel 4, and scooby do on channel 2, and a big fat lady on channel 80, and all the rest on CBS!” Beth giggled, finishing along with a great attempt from her little sister.

“Aw thank you sweets.” You smiled, kissing all of your girls on the cheek. 

You lift the cinnamon waffle and give your daughters a piece as well as your wife before eating yours.

“Hmmm tasty!” Finley hummed.

“I’m still hungry… I think I need a little girl to eat!” You began tickling Finley and Beth’s laughter filling the house. 

Quinn recorded all of it on her phone and posted it on social media. Where your neighbor Natasha just watched. You looked so happy and so did the girls. The secret Tony gave her is eating her up inside.

Nat turned her head seeing you snuggling with your family as you all watched a movie.

‘Ugh how am I supposed to tell Y/N?’ she thought to herself.

⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗

So far your birthday was going great. You spoke to your parents for a while, leaving out the tidbit of Quinn getting pregnant. You were coming back from dinner after dropping off your daughters with their aunt when you opened the front door.

“SURPRISE!!!!” 

You jolted in place, placing a hand over your heart with a grin. “Aww guys!” They’re were streamers everywhere and a large banner that read ‘Happy Birthday’

“Surprise motha fucka!” Santana and Brittany jumped you.

“Oof!” You felt the air leave your lungs feeling Santana give you a hug.

“Happy birthday best friend.” Mike smiled, taking the next hug.

“Thanks man.” You grinned.

Soon the gleeks all hugged you at once finally allowing your new found friends to get in on the love.

First Tony, the Barton’s, Steve, Peggy, and Bucky of course. Thor lifts you up along with Val and Carol. The Stranges nodding towards you. You completely forgot about them. They’re the only ones your wife truly liked. Truthfully you found Steven Strange a bit of an ass thankfully his wife keeps him in check.

Wanda and Vis, May and Happy. The Quills, Scott and Hope, Shaun and Kate, Marc and Layla, but the best was for last.

“Happy birthday, Y/N.” Natasha smiled softly, hugging you close.

“Thanks Nat.” You squeezed her back.

Quinn loudly clapped her hands, startling you. “Alright drinks and karaoke time!”

You let go of Natasha and all of you made your way to the back.

⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗

“Hey I was wondering where you went off too.” Natasha smiled seeing you in the kitchen.”

“Just needed a breather.” You muttered vaping your weed pen.

“Sure it wasn’t because Rachel is singing with Quinn?” The redhead kinked her brow.

“…No.” You muttered drinking the rest of your drink. You were crossfaded and ready to get shit faced.

“Hmhm.” The redhead chuckled sitting on the counter where you were leaning.

You grinned looking down at her jean covered legs.

“I got you something.” She said softly, taking it out of her pocket.

“Whhhat? You shouldn’t have.” You chuckled, taking the small box in your hand. You unwrapped it, opened the box and took out a necklace with the initials of your daughters on it.

“If you look through the top you’ll see them.” She smiled watching your jaw drop. You could see a picture of you and your little girls from the time you were in Natasha’s pool.

“Nat this is… thank you. I love it.” You chuckled, hugging her tightly against you. “It’s a really thoughtful and sweet gift. I love it.” You hand her the necklace to place it on you. She leaned in, unclasping the hook before placing it on you and leaning back again. 

“You’re welcome.” She said softly, you were both close and you don’t know if it’s her scent or being crossfaded but you have an urge to take her like a caveman. God, you get so horny when you drink. Her arms are still loosely hanging around your neck. You’re so close between her legs she can feel your bulge growing she leans in lightly kissing your cheek. “Happy birthday.” 

“Thank you…Where is Bruce?” You ask softly, stepping closer feeling her legs nudge you closer.

Natasha shrugs, she doesn’t have the energy to lie, not when she’s buzzed and can smell your scent.

“He doesn’t deserve you Nat.” You say boldly caressing her cheek.

She’s just going to tell you. Tell you her marriage is a sham, tell you that Quinn is the one that doesn’t deserve you. The words are on the edge of her lips when you start leaning closer “Y/N-” She husks arching her back ever so lightly to lighten the ache between her legs.

“You deserve so much better.” 

“The same could be said for you.” She whispers her hands now cupping our cheeks. She can feel how hard you are and God she just wants you to take her right there on the counter with your bitchy wife right outside. She arches once more so she can rub herself against you ever so slightly. You both hold eye contact as your hands hook beneath her legs. You’re both so close to pouncing one another when the back door opens. You both feel like the bubble has been burst. You both clear your throats as she pats your chest gently pushing you back a bit so she can get down. You turn slightly to rearrange your package discreetly.

“Hey Y/N.” Rachel cleared her throat, eyeing Natasha. “Quinn is looking for you.”

“Right.” You sigh softly remembering who you are married to. You feel a little sick thinking of the way you almost just ruined it due to a buzz. You walk away without giving Natasha another look afraid Rachel will sniff out what just transpired.

“So Quinn is right, you do want Y/N. It’s funny how they’re onto us yet they haven’t done anything about it.” Rachel says softly looking around the kitchen.

“Truly do not know what you’re talking about. I’m sorry, who are you?” Natasha furrowed her brow.

“I’m Rachel Berry.” The small brunette looked almost offended; everyone who had watched a musical or walked down Broadway knew her. “I started the glee club. Went to school with Quinn and Y/N. Tony award winning actress?”

“Ahh I see.”

“You know…” Rachel walks closer standing next to the Russian redhead. For once she met someone who was her height. “Maybe we could work together?” The starlet shrugged.

Natasha’s eyes widened realizing what she was implying.

“I can admit they would be better off divorced. Don’t you think?” Rachel furrowed her brow. “They’re both obviously unhappy.”

“I think you may be a little crazy.” Natasha chuckled, starting to walk past Rachel.

“Call me crazy but I see the way you look at Y/N, and I saw the way Y/N looked at you. You were seconds away from christening this countertop. You almost had Y/N. Almost. Your demise was doing it here in the kitchen. You’d have to do it somewhere no one would barge in and catch you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Y/N and I are friends. I am married.”

“Hmm. Hmhm. If it helps I’ve never seen Y/N look at any woman like that before. Not even Quinn. If we work together we could have them ya know… it wouldn’t take much. Their marriage has been threatening to crumble for a year now.”

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about, but if you’re implying breaking up a marriage it’s sickening.”  Natasha gripped the handle when Rachel stopped her.

“I know you want Y/N. I’m not afraid to tell you I want Quinn. I’ve wanted her since high school. Y/N treats Quinn great no doubt but Quinn? The same can’t be said for her and everyone knows it. Just think about it huh? This little convo stays between us.” With that Rachel slips out of the back door like a snake as Natasha stands there in shock.

Natasha steadied her breathing a lot just happened and she needs to go back outside and act like it didn’t. God she has so much to tell you now and no idea how to do it.

The door opens again this time revealing Wanda. 

“Hey, there you are! Come on Y/N is about to play us a song Quinn got them a new guitar… are you okay?” Wanda quickly notices that her best friend was absolutely not okay. 

“I have so much to tell you.” Natasha sighed.

“Do you wanna get out of here and talk about it at my place?”

“No, no, I want to watch Y/N play. We’ll talk about it in the morning.”

“Okay.” Wanda hugs her best friend tightly, helping her relax a bit. “Come on, I'll make you a drink.”

They both make their way back to the party when you are getting ready to play. Tina is back on bass, Blaine is on the keyboard, and although you’re missing Finn on drums Carol takes up the mantle claiming to be a drum God.

“Hey dude you okay?” Mike asked as you took a bump of coke. “How’d you even get that?”

“Santana.” You mutter taking a shot.

“Hey I haven’t seen you this way since Finn died. What happened?” He asks, taking you aside making you put the joint down.

“I think I almost just fucked up my marriage.” You hissed.

“With who?” Mike’s eyes widened. This was not you whatsoever. You lived for your family, you would never be the type to cheat.

“Nat.” You whisper.

“Oh wow. What happened?”

“She gave me a gift and I… Mike I got bricked up and we almost… We almost kissed and if we had I would have-” You inhale deeply about to have a panic attack.

“Heyyy whoa… Breathe.” He said holding your shoulders. “In.” He inhaled with you. “Now out.” He exhaled, nodding. “That’s it. Listen bud you didn’t cheat. Did you almost… yeah probably but you didn’t. You’re high and buzzed. I know Brittany gave you a mushroom you microdosed with her, vaping from your pen, drinking, and I don’t even know how much coke you’ve been doing. The thing is you’re out of it right now. It meant nothing.”

“I don’t know Mike.” You shook your head. “I was so close to ruining everything.”

“Hey stop it. It’s your birthday. You got carried away. You both probably won’t even remember this tomorrow. Now take a deep breath and go play your heart out.”

“Mike… Do you think Quinn doesn’t deserve me?”

Mike’s eyes widened a bit in a state of shock.

“Do you think I made a mistake marrying her? My parents did… Finn did…Sersi and now Nat-”

“Hey come on you’re spiraling.”

“But-” 

“You’re spiraling.” Mike shook his head. 

“Hey there you are!” Quinn smiled.

“Come on, everyone wants to hear you play!”

Quinn ushers you on the patio platform in front of the mic.

“I just want to thank all of you for coming out tonight. Thank you to my wife for setting this all up. Thank you all for the gifts and the drinks-”

“The drugs!” Santana cackled Quinn glaring at her.

The neighbors all chuckled. “I’ll take some!” Tony laughed as Pepper smacked his arm. “Ow honey I’m kidding.”

“Anyway thanks for letting me jam out with my old band. This one goes out to Finn I really fucking miss you man.” 

“Here here!” Mike clapped with the rest of the gleeks.

You pour one out for your old best friend before downing another shot.

You turn around counting with your band. Carol nodded and began drumming the first few beats before you and Tina joined in shredding it up.

“All her signals are getting lost in the ether

(That's what she wanted) 

She's a landslide with a city beneath her

(That's what she wanted)

So take a good look so you'll never forget it

(That's what she wanted)

Take a deep breath, I know I'm gonna regret it

(That's what she wanted)

Holly's lookin' dry, lookin' for an easy target

Let her slit my throat, give her ammo if she'll use it

Caution on the road, lies, lies and hidden danger

Southern Ohio’s breeding mommy's little monster

She's got a mission, and I'm collateral damage

(That's what she wanted)

She's the flower that you place on my casket

(That's what she wanted)

Savor the moment 'cause the memory's fleeting

Take a photograph as the last train is leaving”

Quinn always hated this song; she just knew you were singing about her. How could you not? 

“Holly's lookin' dry, lookin' for an easy target

Let her slit my throat, give her ammo if she'll use it

Caution on the road, lies, lies and hidden danger

Southern Ohio’s breeding mommy's little monster

“Think she’s singing about Quinn?” Tony asked leaning up to speak to Natasha. The redhead nodded, not saying a word. Truthfully she’s still thinking about what almost happened.

“(Better run, run, run, run, run) Holly, let me out

(Better run, run, run, run, run) Holly, let me out

(Better run, run, run, run, run) Holly, let me out

(Better run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run) Holly, let me ouuuut!”

“Yeahh!” Tony cheered loudly, clapping his hands.

“Damn I didn’t know Y/N could jam like a rockstar!” Sam chuckled.

“Kind of sexy.” Bucky muttered.

“Really?” Steve huffed.

“Okay but they’re super gay right?” Kurt whispered to his husband eyeing Steve and Bucky. 

“You can see it from space.” Blaine nodded.

“Poor Peggy.” They cringed seeing her sit next to her husband.

“Alright I'm gonna need my wife, Kurt, Mercedes, and Santana to come up here.”

You turn around briefly whispering to your band mates before turning around and strumming your guitar.

“Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh Caught in a bad romance. Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh Caught in a bad romance”

“Ahhh this is my song bitch!” Santana laughed as the rest of the women and Kurt stand around the mic.

Everyone began to cheer before singing along. It was always a hit. Thankfully the gleeks remember whose part is whose.

“Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah Roma, roma-ma Gaga, ooh-la-la Want your bad romance!” Kurt sang.

“Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah Roma, roma-ma Gaga, ooh-la-la Want your bad romance” everyone sang next.

“I want your ugly, I want your disease I want your everything as long as it's free I want your love” Tina sang before moving so Mercedes could sing next.

“Love, love, love, I want your love (hey) I want your drama, the touch of your hand (hey) I want your leather-studded kiss in the sand I want your love

“Love, love, love, I want your love (love, love, love) (I want your love)”

Quinn stood next to you and began singing the part that always drove you crazy.

 “You know that I want you And you know that I need youI want it bad, your bad romance.” She bit your ear before you sang next looking right at Natasha.

“I want your love, and I want your revenge You and me could write a bad romance (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) I want your love and all your lover's revenge You and me could write a bad romance Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh Caught in a bad romance”

Natasha gulped, were you sending her a message or was this just ironic? 

“Oh my god what happened in that house Y/N was totally singing to you!” Wanda hissed near her ear.

“Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh Caught in a bad romance”

“I’ll tell you tomorrow.” Nat muttered.

“Ugh, the suspense is killing me.” Wanda whined.

“Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah Roma, roma-ma Gaga, ooh-la-la Want your bad romance”

“I want your horror, I want your design 'Cause you're a criminal as long as you're mine I want your love” Mercedes sang. “Love, love, love, I want your love”

“I want your psycho, your vertigo shtick (hey) Want you in my rear window, baby, you're sick I want your love” Santana sang.

“Love, love, love, I want your love (love, love, love) (I want your love)”

“You know that I want you And you know that I need you ('cause I'm a free bitch, baby) I want it bad, your bad romance”

You desperately wanted to know what Natasha sounds like if she sang that part. You shake your head before singing your part.

“I want your love, and I want your revenge You and me could write a bad romance (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) I want your love and all your lover's revenge You and me could write a bad romance Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh Caught in a bad romance”

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh Caught in a bad romance Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah Roma, roma-ma Gaga, ooh-la-la Want your bad romance Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah Roma, roma-ma Gaga, ooh-la-la Want your bad romance

Walk, walk, fashion baby Work it, move that bitch crazy Walk, walk, fashion baby Work it, move that bitch crazy Walk, walk, fashion baby Work it, move that bitch crazy Walk, walk, passion baby Work it, I'm a free bitch, baby

“I want your love, and I want your revenge

I want your love, I don't wanna be friends 

J'veux ton amour, et je veux ta revanche

J'veux ton amour, I don't wanna be friends (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh) No, I don't wanna be friends (oh-oh-oh, caught in a bad romance) I don't wanna be friends (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh) Want your bad romance! (oh-oh-oh)” 

Damn Santana still has it.

“Caught in a bad romance Want your bad romance I want your love, and I want your revenge You and me could write a bad romance (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) I want your love and all your lover's revenge You and me could write a bad romance Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh (Want your bad romance) Caught in a bad romance (Want your bad romance) Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh (Want your bad romance) Caught in a bad romance Rah, rah-ah-ah-ahRoma, roma-ma Gaga, ooh-la-la Want your bad romance”

Everyone cheered and clapped.

“How often do you think they play this song?” Pepper glared at her husband. “I’m just saying they all had a part.” Tony shrugged.

“How many times must I remind you. They were in glee club together in high school.” Pepper grit.

“Good times!” You chuckled as the gleeks hugged and walked off the makeshift stage. “This next one was Finn’s favorite song so it’s a must. Feel free to sing along and pour one out for my boy.”

“Bet.” Sam Wilson nodded, pouring some into the grass.

“Sam it got on my boots.” Bucky gruffed.

“It’s for a fellow fallen soldier Buck, show some respect.” Sam Wilson glared.

As soon as the band began playing the intro Steve stood jumping up and down. “This is one of my favorites too!”

“Oh my.” Bucky muttered, clearly judging his booyfriend.

“Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo

Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo

Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo

Doo doo doo”

“I'm packed and I'm holding

I'm smiling, she's living, she's golden

She lives for me, says she lives for me

Ovation, her own motivation

She comes round and she goes down on me

And I make you smile, like a drug for you

Do ever what you wanna do, coming over you

Keep on smiling, what we go through

One stop to the rhythm that divides you

And I speak to you like the chorus to the verse

Chop another line like a coda with a curse

Come on like a freak show takes the stage

We give them the games we play, she said-“

“I want something else to get me through this

Semi-charmed kinda life, baby, baby

I want something else, I'm not listening when you say good-bye

Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo

Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo

Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo

Doo doo doo

The sky was gold, it was rose

I was taking sips of it through my nose

And I wish I could get back there, someplace back there

Smiling in the pictures you would take

Doing crystal meth, will lift you up until you break

It won't stop, I won't come down

I keep stock with a tick-tock rhythm, a bump for the drop

And then I bumped up, I took the hit that I was given

Then I bumped again, then I bumped again

I said

How do I get back there to the place where I fell asleep inside you

How do I get myself back to the place where you said

I want something else to get me through this

Semi-charmed kinda life, baby, baby

I want something else, I'm not listening when you say good-bye

I believe in the sand beneath my toes

The beach gives a feeling, an earthy feeling

I believe in the faith that grows

And that four right chords can make me cry

When I'm with you I feel like I could die

And that would be alright, alright

And when the plane came in, she said she was crashing

The velvet it rips in the city, we tripped on the urge to feel alive

Now I'm struggling to survive

Those days you were wearing that velvet dress

You're the priestess, I must confess

Those little red panties they pass the test

Slides up around the belly, face down on the mattress

One

And you hold me, and we are broken

Still it's all that I wanna do, just a little now

Feel myself, heading off the ground

I'm scared, I'm not coming down

No, no

And I won't run for my life

She's got her jaws now locked down in a smile

But nothing is alright, alright

And I want something else to get me through this life

Baby, I want something else

Not listening when you say

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo

Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo

Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo

The sky was gold, it was rose 

I was taking sips of it through my nose 

And I wish I could get back there 

Someplace back there, in the place we used to start

Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo

Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo

I want something else

Steve clapped and whistled loudly. “Fuck yeah!” 

“He said a bad word.” Tony snorted.

You walked over to the Natasha with a grin.

“Sing a song for me?” You asked the redhead.

“Oh I don’t know-”

“Please? It’s my birthday. You can pick the song.”

Natasha sighed and nodded, taking your hand. You gave a lopsided grin and kissed the top of her hand.

You lead her up the patio. “What do you wanna sing?” 

“I think you know.” She kinks her brow and you know exactly what to play.

You take up your acoustic guitar and begin picking the strings before looking over at her.

“Boy, tell me, can you take my breath away?

Cruisin' down a heart-shaped highway

Got you swervin' lane-to-lane, don't hit the brakes

'Cause I'm feelin' so safe

I'll be your baby, on a Sunday

Oh, why don't we get out of town?

Call me your baby, on the same wave

Oh, no, no, there's no slowin' down!”

You grin at her, your eyes never having left hers and join her in the chorus.

“You and I, I

Ridin' Harleys in Hawaii-i-i

I'm on the back, I'm holdin' tight, I

Want you to take me for a ri-ide, ride

When I hula-hula, hula

So good, you'll take me to the jeweler-jeweler, jeweler

There's pink and purple in the sky-y-y

We're ridin' Harleys in Hawaii-i-i”

Quinn is bristling at this exchange especially when the redhead stands up and threads her fingers in your hair.

“Let me run my fingers through your salty hair

Go ahead, explore the island

Vibes so real that you can feel it in the air

I'm revvin' up your engine”

Natasha taps your chin and continues the song.

“I'll be your baby, on a Sunday

Oh, why don't we get out of town? (Why don't we get out of town?)

Call me your baby, catch the same wave

Oh, no, no, there's no slowin' down (let's go)”

“Quinn is going to kill Y/N.” Kurt muttered

“Okay but I’m loving this, their chemistry is through the roof!” Blaine smiled.

“You and I, I

Ridin' Harleys in Hawaii-i-i

I'm on the back, I'm holdin' tight, I

Want you to take me for a ri-ide, ride

When I hula-hula, hula

So good, you'll take me to the jeweler-jeweler, jeweler

There's pink and purple in the sky-y-y

We're ridin' Harleys in Hawaii-i-i

No, no

You and I (you and I, I)

Ridin' Harleys in Hawaii-i-i

I'm on the back, I'm holdin' tight, I

Want you to take me for a ri-ide, ride

When I hula-hula, hula

So good, you'll take me to the jeweler-jeweler, jeweler

There's pink and purple in the sky-y-y

We're ridin' Harleys in Hawaii-i-i

I'll be your baby, on a Sunday

Oh, whoa

We're ridin' Harleys in Hawaii-i

Call me your baby, catch the same wave

Oh, whoa

We're ridin' Harleys in Hawaii-i"

You quickly placed the guitar down and clapped whistling to cheer her on. You looked towards the crowd but didn’t see Quinn. Low and behold you couldn’t find Rachel either. You save that for later and focus on Natasha.

“That was beautiful Nat.” You chuckled and hugged her.

“Damn she’s sexy, Russian, and can sing?” Santana gawked with her wife Brittany.

“I know! No wonder Quinn is so jealous of her.” Brittany muttered.

“Where is that bitch anyway?” Santana squinted her eyes as she scanned the crowd.

“She went inside and so did Berry.” Brittany looked at her wife.

“Fuck Quinn.” Santana groaned.

Steve walked over to Bucky. “Buck.” He hissed. 

“What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost, or worse a naked woman.” He chuckled.

“Well.” Steve inhaled looking at you and Natasha.

“Oh shit you did.” Bucky chuckled. “Who?”

“Quinn and Rachel.” He whispered.

“What!?” Bucky exclaimed, making some people look over.

“Keep your voice down. It’s Y/N’s birthday.” He grit.

“I knew Quinn was no good.” Bucky muttered.

“Well we aren’t either. We are doing the exact same thing.”

“Hey take it easy, you said you were going to tell Peggy before she leaves again.”

Steve nodded watching Quinn and Rachel trickle out of the house.

“Do they know?” Bucky asked, looking away from them.

“No but they know someone knows. I broke a vase; I was in such shock.” He muttered.

“You’re going to have to tell Y/N.”

“Fuck.” Steve sighed he hated cursing but he knew this situation called for it. You and Quinn seemed so happy but then again he and Peggy did too. He knew he had to tell her and fast.

⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗ ⧗

“Okay spill.” Wanda said, placing a steaming hot cup of coffee in front of Natasha.

“Ughhhhh Wands!” Natasha whined banging her head on the table.

“Stop! Start from the beginning.” Wanda placed a plate of pancakes down.

“Remember how we had a football match back in August?”

“Yeaaaah.” Wanda nodded. “I had major FOMO that day.”

“Well Tony dropped a bombshell on me. Apparently someone close to Y/N turned down their full ride to MIT.”

“Oh my gosh!!! Shut up no!” Wanda gasped, her hand going over her mouth.

“Yes!”

“My money's on Quinn. She probably got scared Y/N would leave her and Beth or something.”

“I think it’s her too but Tony said we can’t just assume we need to talk to Y/N, but-“

“Neither of you want to break their family apart.” Wanda nodded. “That’s understandable.”

“So now I have this bigger secret than my fake relationship with Bruce, and now on top of that I have another that I don’t even know what to do with!”

“Oh my gosh what?! You’re killing me!” Wanda whined.

“Y/N and I had a moment in the kitchen last night.” Natasha sighed.

“Nat.” Wanda sighed. “Y/N is married-”

“I know!”

“I told you that gift was too personal-”

“But-”

“But no Nat. Listen. I love you but this is wrong.”

“I know.” Nat sighed. “I think it was just the alcohol… the only reason I brought that up is because of Rachel Berry.”

“The short one that kept singing broadway songs?”

“Yes! Anyway she cornered me right after and suggested we break them up.”

“What the hell? Hasn’t she been their friend since highschool?!”

“Yes!”

“What did she say?”

“She said she knows I like Y/N and she likes Quinn and thinks they should divorce that they aren’t truly happy together.”

“What a weirdo.” Wanda gasped.

“She told me to think about it. Now I have to tell Y/N that their career was stolen from them, and their old friend is a snake.” Natasha sighed. “Wands what do I do?” 

“Honestly, I would like to know if it happened to me.”

“But how do I even begin to tell Y/N? This is going to break Y/N’s heart, and worse, what if they don’t believe me?”

“You’ll have to treat it like a band aid.” Wanda sighed, taking a sip of her coffee. 

���This could ruin their relationship.”

“Or it could strengthen it.” Wanda raised her brow.

It was quiet for a beat when Vis walked in.

“I think the real question is Nat do you have feelings for Y/N?”

“Vis what the hell?” Wanda grit.

“I’m sorry I was hungry and didn’t want to interrupt!” He said, grabbing a plate.

“What do my feelings have to do with what happened?” Natasha asked.

“Because if you have feelings and you are both married granted yours is a sham-”

“Vis!” Wanda smacked his arm.

“I just mean if you have feelings for a married person you need to distance yourself.”

“Oh don’t worry after I speak with Y/N I’m sure they’ll stop talking to me.” Natasha smiled sarcastically. She was stuck between a rock in a hard place. One she's falling for you, two she needs to tell you her marriage is a sham, three someone stole your chance at MIT. How does someone even begin to unload all of that information?

[dendro-bunny]

Drawn to you like the sea to the shore ======================

Rafayel X Reader

(A/N): bro- why am I actually like this man having inspiration to write at 12 am. Like am I ok? Idk anyway I wrote this in one sitting and I forgot how to write… it’s been so long :(

Warning: Suggestive, pretty fluffy, light body dysmorphia (why does this work have a ‘y�� in it? Like English please chill for once!) 

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

As you push the door from your bathroom you look at your boyfriend bashfully. You pull on your dress away from your body. You give a small cough to draw his attention.

“Ahem… Ralfy? Uh are you sure this is ok? I’m not sure this is the right outfit for me?” You start shifting on your heels.

Smugly he opens his mouth to say something, then he looks up from his phone and his jaw drops. The words escape him with a gasp. His eyes rake over your figure drinking the sight of you in. In what feels like forever he looks at your face through his lashes.

“Sorry was distracted, what did you say cutie?” Rafayel gives you a cunning smile while tilting his head.

“Maybe I should take it off-” you go to turn around to the bathroom and feel yourself be tugged. You feel your back hit a chest and you look up to see Rafayel staring at you with a serious expression. As your big doe eyes look at him he groans and stuffs his face in your neck.

“Don’t take it off my muse, you look like a true masterpiece. One that I could never recreate.” You feel his hands start to trace your sides, from the bottom of your thighs up to your shoulders. Paying extra attention to every curve and crevice of your body.

“God and the scent you have on drives me wild-“ he cuts himself off by inhaling you deeply before letting out a groan. “I know you think you look bad but babe trust me you look ravishing, the way your hair sculpts your face and your eyes give off the most gorgeous hue, not to mention your lips.” He turns you to face him. His hand caresses your face. A hand firmly pulls you close to him as he plants a feverish kiss against your mouth. Like he’s depraved and hungry for you.

Rafayel was always passionate about everything he does, when inspiration strikes that is. When it came to you he always had inspiration. Always knew what to say to you always knew how to hold you even, if he was a big tease about it. With his kisses he always puts his 100 into it. All the words that elude him he puts into his kisses.

He pulls away only to breathe for a moment before leaving hungry pecks on your lips and jaw. “Maybe I should take that off of you, and show you how much I want you.” You can only whimper not being able to get a word out.

Your common sense tells you to push him away so you actually make it to Ms. Talia’s event on time for once, but the other part of you wants him to. It wants him to so bad. Your skin feels like his evol is crawling underneath it. You feel your back pushed against a cool surface.

“Raf- Rafayel please.” “What are you asking for cutie? Fishies like me don’t understand human gestures.” He taunts with a laugh. He goes back to leaving marks over your neck and shoulders.

“Please… T-Talia is waiting for us…” You barely manage to push out between pants. He grumbles something against your neck and huffs. “Rafayel we promised to be on time this time.” You give him pleading eyes and he caves. He steps back as a groan of annoyance comes from his puffy lips.

“Why did you have to go and make that promise babe, especially when you look so good.” He gives you a lovesick smile and squeezes your hips. “Then I’ll change so you aren’t so… distracted.” You look at him as his eyes scan over your freshly made bruises.

“Good luck with that cutie, I’m always distracted by you. No matter what you, especially when you aren’t wearing anything and you’re in my bed underneath- Oof.” You cut him off by throwing a nearby plush at him. You scream a few profanities at him and walk into the bathroom trying to hide your flushed expression.

“Yeah you do that a lot underneath me to- ow! Was that a toilet paper roll?!” He picks up his expensive toilet paper laughing.

“Next time it’s the whole toilet!” You slam the door and a howl of laughter comes from the other side of the door. You swear that lemurian was gonna be the death of you.

•————————————•—————————————•

Holy shit did not think I’d write again- but like THIS MAN HAS ME IN A CHOKEHOLD LIKE THE PURE FILTH IN MY MIND OF HIM IS IMMACULATE-

Ahem anyway maybe I’ll write more but this is a gift, very late valentines gift XD

[frozenjokes]

Toys Like Tape Measures (And A Brand New Splint!)

tw for drugging, though only in the medical sense. however, because of the language barrier, Mumbo doesn’t understand what’s happening really, so if that makes you uncomfortable I would skip

“Alright, so here’s the deal,” Mumbo heard Scar before he even reached the clearing, and he couldn’t be more excited. Scar was back, (and Grian was there too) he was finally back after being gone all week! “Today we’re going to fix that splint- ope- don’t make that face at me yet, let me explain, let me explain. I promise it will be 100% safe.”

“So many things- so many things, Scar, but you are not a doctor, much less a veterinarian- how do you even think this is going to work? Mumbo won’t even let us touch him, what makes you think anything about this will be safe?”

“I’ve been doing a lot of research, Grian! I’ve talked to every large animal vet I know, and a few fish people as well! This big ol’ bag on my back you’ve been nagging me about has everything we’ll need! Well, except the fish. You’re going to have to catch a few of those.”

“Scar! Fishing in this spot isn’t even very good and you know it, if you needed fish, why wouldn’t you bring any.”

“Forgot.”

There was a small silence before the two humans burst into the clearing, climbing through the path they’d ended up making through the brush by walking through so many times. Mumbo surfaced to greet them, though they were still preoccupied with each other.

“Of course,” Grian groaned, sighing as he threw down his bag, “Guess I’ll get to it then.”

“That’s the spirit!” Scar beamed, patting the other human hard on the back, who made a soft oof sound before scuttling away, moving to hide its face from Scar as it turned a reddish color. Odd. Usually Grian would yell at Scar for doing something like that, rightfully so (Mumbo still didn’t understand why Scar would randomly hit his friend), but instead Grian was far more meek. Had something happened? Maybe since Scar was hurt, Grian was taking a more passive role than normal. Mermaids were gentler with sick friends as well, and Mumbo knew quite well he could get away with more when he was unwell.

But it was good to see Scar looking healthy. His shoulder was still bandaged, visible under his shirt, but he couldn’t be feeling too badly given his bright demeanor, and his movement didn’t seem to be impaired at all. Thank goodness.

If it was even possible, Scar brightened further when he spotted Mumbo, happily throwing off unnecessary clothes before hopping right into the water, showing absolutely zero signs of fear. Oh, that was a weight off Mumbo’s back; he didn’t even realize how worried he was about Scar being afraid of him until now, until Scar very clearly wasn’t. Good, good..

Mumbo met Scar in the shallows, deep enough that he could keep his tail from dragging on the sand, but shallow enough where he could navigate with his hands; he was in near constant pain even with a week to recover, and while slow, pulling himself along the bottom with his hands caused the least agony on his tail. His splint was sufficiently broken now, only getting more uncomfortable with every passing day. At this point, Mumbo was just waiting for it to fall off; trying to figure out how it was attached was far too painful, though he had tried briefly a couple of times (with little success).

“Hello, Mumbo!” Scar greeted him, “I’ve got something you’re going to like. I’m pretty sure you like human stuff, so you’ll get a kick out of this.” Scar held up a small silver object, round, but not quite circular. Mumbo moved to get a closer look, though he couldn’t lift himself very far out of the water, so Scar crouched down to get it closer. “Tape measure.”

Mumbo squinted. “What.”

“Tape measure.” Huh. Weird word. Usually human words weren’t that long, though, maybe Mumbo had only learned the shorter ones. Was this a human tool? Mumbo attempted to snatch it, but Scar was faster, jumping back with a surprised look on his face. On his perch, Grian laughed.

“I told you! I told you he’d try to take that, and you won’t be getting it back.”

“Well he can have it if he wants, but not before I’m done!” Scar huffed, then turned back to Mumbo, speaking sternly, “No.” Mumbo stared, unamused. He could have guessed Scar didn’t want him to have its human tool, that didn’t change the fact that he was going to take it.

“Scar,” he tried, reaching out a hand a little slower. Maybe it wouldn’t see? ‘Your human object. Give me.’ he continued in a whistle due to the lack of human words, but Scar only huffed, an incredulous smile across its face.

“No!” Scar repeated a tad more forcefully, but Mumbo could see the smile on his face, he knew well enough he could keep trying. Mumbo moved a little forward, hoping to get within reach, but Scar stepped back, then back again, rolling his eyes, “You’re going to make measuring you really difficult, Mumbo.”

“Yeah,” Grian said from across the way, a small laugh in his tone, “I’d say I’ve got plenty of time to catch something.”

“You will, but this is not the reason!” Scar yelled back, pointing an accusatory finger, but the smile never left Scar’s face, and soon his focus was squarely back on Mumbo (who definitely hadn’t tried to snatch at the device while it was distracted).

The tool made a soft whirring sound as Scar pulled on one end, a flat yellow line appearing from inside the device, then snapping back when Scar let go. Whoa. What was that? What was the purpose? Scar moved a little bit closer, pulling the yellow line further this time, but when Mumbo managed to touch it, the line snapped back into the silver device with a sharp crack. Huh. Was it alive? Maybe it was shy? It looked a little bit like a snail..

“What.” Mumbo said, hoping for more information, but Scar only put his hands on his hips, making a show of his annoyance.

“I can’t show you if you keep trying to take it from me!” Nonsense. Guess Mumbo would just have to take it to figure it out for himself.

The next thirty minutes was an odd dance of Scar struggling to keep his distance while also trying to line up the tape measure with Mumbo’s body, and Mumbo would be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying the game. The tape measure hurt if it snapped back on Mumbo’s hand, but if anything, that only made the game more exciting. Even with the limited use of his tail, he found himself splashing far more than usual, a certain recklessness brought about only by play. He didn’t even want the tape measure anymore (lie), he just wanted to keep up the game. Scar did not like the game as much, less and less as more time passed, but Grian seemed amused at least, occasionally looking over to laugh when Scar stumbled or outright fell over.

“I could use a little help here if you don’t mind!” Scar called, and Grian laughed again, the sound coming out more like a cackle.

“I thought you had it handled? You kept insisting you were fine, what changed?”

“He just won’t stop moving! Listen, I’ve measured plenty of animals, but they don’t usually have hands! He’s being impossible- he knows I’m not trying to hurt him and he knows I need him to stay still and he’s just not listening! On purpose! This was supposed to be easy!”

“He looks like he’s having fun, I wouldn’t want to rain on his parade.”

“Grian! Help me!” Scar cut himself off with a yelp as Mumbo lunged for the tape measure, but he didn’t get far with his limited mobility, so Scar stepped easily out of reach. He was lucky Mumbo couldn’t use his tail, lucky. With another short laugh, Grian got up from where he was fishing, making his way gingerly off the rocks and giggling as he went before stepping into the water as well. Ah, so another challenger joins the fray!

Though, with Grian holding one side of the yellow line, Mumbo couldn’t quite grab at it anymore, the whole thing bending and snapping like it might break in two if Mumbo wasn’t careful. And that wouldn’t do, no no, how could he figure out its purpose if it was broken?

Instead, he stilled so he could watch instead- wow the line went out so far! How much could fit in there? How far could it go? Mumbo moved to follow the humans’ movement, but they seemed to want to pull the line the length of Mumbo’s tail, chirping nonsense to each other the entire time. At least Scar looked excited; it was always nice when Scar was happy, nice enough that Mumbo didn’t mind all that much that their game was effectively over. Mumbo didn’t love how close they were getting, but a small flash of his teeth was enough to get Grian’s attention, who communicated to Scar in Mumbo’s stead.

It wasn’t very long before the two of them were satisfied though, Grian easing the yellow line back into the tape measure. Mumbo took his chance, lunging as quickly as his impaired mobility would allow, but Scar surprised him by turning around instead of jumping away like normal. While Mumbo was scrambling to keep himself from running face first into Scar’s legs, the human tossed him the tape measure, the thing plopping heavily into the water. Mumbo gaped for a moment before grabbing it, but when he resurfaced, Scar was walking toward the shore, chatting away with Grian like the tape measure didn’t mean anything at all. Well.. okay.

No matter! Mumbo had a new toy, and first he wanted to know just how long this yellow line was. The answer was very long. Mumbo lodged one end under a rock and swam as far as the line would allow, and while he was quite impressed with the length, he was even more excited when he let go of the metal base, the whole thing shooting back in the other direction. Yes! Yes! Mumbo did the same thing at least seven more times before getting a little bored, then experimented with the tape measure above the water, where it snapped back much faster. The height of his fun was setting the end of the yellow line under a rock on the surface, bringing metal end to the other side of the cove, then letting go and watching the thing skirt across the water, splashing all the way. He was relatively sure he made some sort of trill or other noise in his excitement, as Scar and Grian’s laughing caught his attention. Mumbo cringed a little, suddenly very aware of their eyes on him, but his embarrassment was short lived, outweighed by the joy of funny human trinket.

Mumbo would have spent the rest of the day playing with the tape measure, but something else caught his eye. Scar was working on something- no, he was making something. Mumbo had never seen a human make something before- not in the way Mumbo liked to do! Scar’s creative process looked very similar as well, which is to say, all the materials he brought were strewn all over the grass, wildly unorganized as he fiddled with different parts. Most of his materials were long metal rods, but there were also some leather looking pieces, and what looked like parts of white tubing as well. What was he up to?

Mumbo shimmied as close to the shore as his tail would allow, hoping to grab Scar’s attention. “What. What. What,” he said in human, hoping the extra emphasis would translate through the repeated words.

Scar looked up, clearly amused, but seemed to struggle with explaining, starting and stopping speaking several times before settling with, “For you.” Not very helpful, and Scar knew it, making a couple of vague gestures at Mumbo before giving up and going back to his project. Well.. that was fine. Mumbo would just have to watch.

Scar was mostly focused on the leather piece, positioning it in a circular way and winding the metal through to create a cage-looking structure. The leather was adjustable too, Scar fiddling with a buckle on the front to make the entire thing wider or smaller. Mumbo was particularly fascinated by the white pieces though, much flatter than the rods, which Scar only weaved through one side. Why? He tried to ask again what the human was doing, but was only offered the same non-answer.

“Oh!” Grian made a surprised noise from his place on the rocks, and Mumbo saw his line tighten. If only he was fast enough to snag whatever was on it off the hook, but alas, Grian was already reeling in a decent sized fish. Scar hopped to his feet and Grian let out a celebratory noise of his own; it was so cute how humans got so excited about every catch. Though, in all fairness, Mumbo would have been quite chuffed catching a fish that size, especially this hungry. Maybe if humans really didn’t eat the fish they caught, they’d be open to sharing.

Grian scooped the fish off the line with a net, maneuvering the hook out of its mouth before walking it back toward the shore to Scar, who cheered all the while.

“Right,” Grian said as he hit the sand, “You want to give this to him? I’m assuming you’re going to drug him or something.”

“That’s the plan. I was considering a tranquilizer, but I don’t want to make this experience traumatic or anything, and hauling a big ol’ rifle out here might put a damper on some of the trust we’ve established. Hopefully this way he’ll just be real relaxed, maybe even take a nice little nap.”

“You’re not trying to put him to sleep? What are you giving him?”

“Not necessarily, but I doubt he’ll be able to stay awake. Trust me when I say he won’t be in pain, definitely not. And I brought a cone, too, just in case he freaks. I came prepared, Grian, prepared I tell you. I’m no large animal vet, but you could say I’ve been quite involved in many a procedure.”

“Scar, what are you giving him?”

“Like.” Scar paused, tapping the smile on his lips, “A lot of morphine.”

“Morphine?”

“Works on fish. Mumbo’s big, he can handle it, and anyway, it’s the safest option for everyone involved. Are you worried about our friend, Grian?”

“I’m not- how did you even get morphine, Scar?”

“Scar’s not taking any more questions at this time, please call back later. In the meantime, hand me that fish so we can get this show on the road. I’ll stay with him as long as he needs me, but I’m not expecting anything to go wrong here. Still, the sooner we start, the better.” Scar got to his feet, taking the fish net from a gaping Grian and heading back to his bag. Mumbo couldn’t quite see what he was doing, but Grian followed quickly after, fretting the entire time. What, was something wrong with the fish? Scar didn’t seem to think so.

Maybe Grian hadn’t wanted Scar to give Mumbo his catch, but Scar did regardless. Mumbo was more than happy to accept the gift, only throwing Grian one mildly guilty look before devouring the whole thing. He didn’t feel very bad, not really; clearly the humans ate well enough, and given he was having a hard time hunting right now, this seemed fair.

Eating only served to brighten his mood, and with the slight weight off his chest, watching Scar continue working on his human device was all the more fun. Grian went back to fishing on his rock, but he was acting more anxious than normal, stealing glances toward Scar and Mumbo just about every time he cast his line. Though, it didn’t take very long for Mumbo to stop caring, far more intrigued by whatever Scar was up to. It was crazy how much better he was feeling; usually the joy of eating didn’t carry so far after a meal, but when Mumbo was this hungry..

And then it hit him; he wasn’t in pain. The lightness he was feeling was from the lack of hurting- oh that couldn’t be good. What kind of fish was that? He hadn’t even looked! Please say he hadn’t accidentally poisoned himself… Mumbo didn’t feel nauseous though. And if he’d poisoned himself, he imagined he’d be feeling a lot sicker. And he had so much energy! Anyone with this much energy wouldn’t be poisoned, that would be ridiculous! He should do something- go somewhere- hunt- he could do anything! … Nevermind.

Not in pain, no, but tired, goodness, maybe he was dying. Probably not. But maybe. Honestly, he didn’t care all that much. Scar was looking at him an awful lot now, though Mumbo wished he would focus on his invention instead so Mumbo could figure out what it was before he died. Hm.. It kind of looked a little bit like his splint, didn’t it?

…

The gentle touch of skin on scales. A presence around his neck, tight, mildly uncomfortable, but not enough for Mumbo to want to do anything about it. A crack, loud enough to frighten him, to open his eyes, but there was no pain, so it must not have been bone. Something was draped over his eyes, dark like home. It was nice. A couple of clicks told him of Forces, big and near and moving; he should probably swim away, but that’d be quite a bit of effort, wouldn’t it. Maybe another time.

His fins rose and fell with the presence and absence of touch. Not unpleasant. Not until they tried to lift him.

Pain like thorns lit his blood, everywhere, pain, pain- Some sort of noise escaped his throat, something animal, and he moved without coordination- it hurt, everything hurt now. Distantly he heard them, humans, why were humans here? Talking, they were talking nothing, repeating the same words again and again, “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay.” Couldn’t they see he was in pain? Why weren’t they helping?

Too much time passed before his attackers released him, but wasn’t sitting in the water the same as before. It was awkward, unpleasant honestly, but he stopped struggling quickly. Too painful to move. Too much effort.

He wanted to curl up. Somewhere dark, somewhere enclosed and safe. Something hard stopped his movement. Guess that was that.

But maybe that was fine.

Whatever had been there was gone now. Nothing else was trying to hurt him. That was good. That was enough.

…

The humans were talking. They were loud, Mumbo could hear them, though his face burned just slightly, a dry feeling. Was he above the water? It didn’t much concern him.

“He’s still asleep, Scar.”

“That’s fine. Normal, even. He’s going to be fine; if he was going to have any bad reactions, I’m pretty sure we would have known by now. I’ve been keeping an eye on his breathing, and it’s stayed consistent this whole time. He’s okay.”

“You said four hours. It’s been five.”

“Yeah, for a human on a human dose. I also told you I don’t know exactly how it’ll work on a mermaid. I doubt anyone knows. I gave him quite a bit more than a human dose anyway, and I’m pretty sure he needed it. He was freaking out when we were trying to get the splint on.”

“I just don’t like the fact that we drugged him without being sure how he’d react.”

“I don’t know what else you wanted me to do, Grian. He was not going to let us touch him, and I don’t think there’s any world in which we could have explained what we were trying to accomplish. Tail injuries could be fatal for mermaids, we don’t know. How’s he supposed to eat if he can’t swim? It’s not like we can weigh him. This was the safest option.”

“You really think we couldn’t have explained it to him? He’s smart, Scar, he’s really observant.”

“I don’t know, I think there’s a chance. But what would happen if he got scared? Even a human might’ve panicked, even if they knew every detail about what we were doing. And you know how strong he is- I’ve still got bruises on my arms from where he grabbed me. He could have hurt himself or us completely by accident.”

A long silence. “I know.”

A longer silence.

“So when’d you change your tune?”

“What?”

“About Mumbo. Nearly every day two weeks ago you made sure to remind me how you were totally going to kill him and sell all his parts or whatever, but I haven’t heard a peep from you since Monday. Did you come out here without me and have some sorta spiritual experience or what?”

“I- no. Of course not. I’m still planning on doing that, I just decided I’d spare your feelings and stop talking about it.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes! And anyway, with you paying me egregious prices for my fish, I’m not exactly hurting for money right now. So it’s fine. I’m not in any rush.”

“That’s good to know.”

“Stop- stop talking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you don’t believe me.”

“Well, Grian, that’s going to be a problem because you’re right, I don’t believe you.”

“I- how dare you! I am going to do it! I could do it right now even, but I won’t, and not because I don’t want to, but it wouldn’t be fair, not while he’s all drugged up.”

“I see.”

“Stop it!”

“I believe you, I believe you.”

“No you don’t!”

“Shhh,” Scar said, his voice dropping, “No fighting,” he trailed off, and the silence was charged with something new, something Mumbo picked up on even in his half-asleep state.

“No fighting,” Grian repeated softly, “He wouldn’t like that.”

“Mm,” Scar acknowledged him quietly, but spoke no more words, and neither did Grian. That, or Mumbo had just fallen asleep again. Possible, all things considered. That was okay.

[ashensgrotto]

Never Had a Friend (Like Me) - Part 2

Original art piece by pfbatakopd on twitter (Used only for Header. Do NOT REPOST ORIGINAL ART)

Part 1 Part 2 (You Are Here) Part 3

YandereSoulmate! AU:

Part 1 (Am I Feeling Love?)

Part 2 (Protective)

Part 3A & Part 3B (Poor Unfortunate Souls)

Characters: Azul Ashengrotto X F!Reader

Word Count: 9,105

Synopsis: A chance for redemption comes in the form of a wish…

Author’s Notes: Ok, here we go. I received an anonymous message in my inbox for the next part of the Yandere!Soulmate series and I was actually going to work on it - but with the arrival of GloMas, working on the next part of ‘Raison D’être,’ wanting to finish “Weren’t You Aware, Angelfish?”, AND the holidays, time got away from me and I forgot about Scarabia’s segment for a short while. 

However, because you all seem to enjoy this and want to know if the tako has redeemed himself - I figured I would work to get this part done. Now, warning - Pompefiore’s part is going to take a bit of time to complete because I will have to wiggle my way through my memory bank and replay a few parts of it (which is approx 76 chapters in length for those players who haven’t made it that far into the game yet) since I’m working so deep into Ignihyde’s chapter right now (which is a doozy - I’m still in chapter 67-tower 1, oof help).

This one is also going to be split into three parts - I promise it will not be a long wait for the second & third parts as this is my Christmas gift to all of my readers <3

Thank you all for your continued support!

Warnings are as follows: yandere behaviors, manipulation, imprisonment, & hypnosis

***

… Mister Kalim, sir, have a wish? Or two? Or Three?

I’m on the job, you big nabob.

You ain’t never had a friend like me.

***

“Well done, Jade,” Azul praised, “How did the ‘talk’ with Kalim go?”

It was the first night of being in Scarabia in the vacant room the Grim and (Y/N) had originally been held hostage in. Apparently, it was routine in Scarabia to have all of the students locked within their dorm rooms - hence the reason as to why the concept was foreign to both Grim and (Y/N) as the two of them never felt the need to lock their doors at night (though Azul did while (Y/N) had lived in Octavinelle for security purposes - but he would never tell her to begin with.)

True to his word, Azul started sniffing around straight away, using Jade to talk to Kalim while he and Floyd distracted Jamil with a game of mancala.

“It was just as you expected, I’m afraid,” Jade answered, placing his hands behind his back as he gave his report, “It’s very likely that Kalim is being magically mind-controlled to make him act out erratically.”

“That would explain the sea otter’s rapid changes in behavior,” Floyd nodded in agreement.

“But how is that even possible?” Grim asked.

“Grim, that’s like asking how you can stomach twenty cans of tuna in twenty minutes,” (Y/N) answered, looking toward the trio, “I’m assuming it’s similar to your ultimate magic, Jade.”

“To an extent, yes,” Jade nodded in agreement, “The closest you might get would be with Ruggie’s ‘Laugh with Me.’ That ultimate magic allows Ruggie to manipulate a person’s body to do what he wants them to. There’s also hypnosis magic that works in the same sense, but it takes control of a target’s mind and requires a far higher degree of skill and power. Very few mages are even capable of using it because of the amount of skill required to even cast it.”

“You gotta have skills and power on par with Azul for that,” Floyd added.

“But even I would be hard-pressed to control living creatures with their own egos like humans,” Azul argued, “I still prefer to give them the chance to think it over before signing one of my deals.”

“But I doubt anyone in Scarabia is half as good as you, Azul,” Grim piped up, “Even Kalim’s big signature is just a glorified waterspout…”

“Grim, ‘Oasis Maker’ is a very talented frame of magic,” (Y/N) sighed, looking at the others, “Though, I do agree… even Jamil’s score levels are relatively average on the school’s grading scale.”

“I wouldn’t be too hasty to make assumptions,” Azul chidded, “There’s an old saying in the sea that we have in the sea which states ‘a clever hawk hides its talons.’”

“So the brings us to the big question, who’s controllin’ sea otter and why?” Floyd asked.

“I’m afraid I won’t be much help there,” Jade shook his head, “I couldn’t get any answers from him.”

“Speaking of which,” (Y/n) asked suddenly, “What exactly… does your signature spell do?”

“Oh? Have you seen it before?” Grim asked curiously.

“Only once - I think we had a patron at the lounge that was behaving quite, um… indecently?” you admit, “It was like he suddenly just spilled what was on his mind as soon as Jade got close to him.”

Jade sighs, “My unique magic is one that would make most people guarded around me if they knew what it did, specifically - I’m not a fan of revealing it, but (Y/n) hit it pretty hard on the nose. It’s called ‘Shock the Heart’ - it allows me to force the truth out of a target that might be hiding something. The drawback is that the spell can only be used once on a target - once I use it, I can’t use it on them again, and it only works on those with a weak mental vulnerability or loosely guarded minds. Those like Azul who are weary, or have high resistance to magic, are effective against the spell - hence my signature spell is very limited in scope.”

“It works great on guys cowerin’ in fear or bawlin’ like babies,” Floyd grinned, showing off his row of sharp teeth.

“The way those two smile scare the daylights outta me,” Grim looked at you, “I still can’t believe you lived with these three for three months!”

“They’re not that bad,” you mumble under your breath, “...mostly.”

Azul coughed, “Jade, what were you able to find out? If anything?”

“Kalim’s always been the type to open up to others - it’s one of the reasons why he was selected to be the headwarden. Thus, my spell worked on him flawlessly - however, when I asked him if he knew the name of the student using hypnosis magic on him and if he would tell me, he claimed that he must never tell anyone. He made some sort of promise to this student long ago, so he couldn’t reveal it.”

“Oh how hysterical!” Azul snorted, “Your signature spell was thwarted by Kalim’s strength of character!”

“It would seem that way,” Jade admitted.

“And here I thought the sea otter would sing like a canary,” Floyd hit his hand over his forehead, “Just when you think you know a guy!”

“...I would assume that it’s a promise he keeps close to his heart,” you think out loud.

Azul looks at you, eyes widening, “(Y/N)! You genius angelfish! That’s it!”

“What’s it?” you ask.

“I have an idea,” Azul answered, “I have a hunch at who our little serpent schemer is… and how to pull him out of hiding, but first - Floyd, I’ll need your help.”

“My help?” Floyd looked flabbergasted.

“Yes, I need to borrow your signature spell.”

Jade, Floyd, Grim, and you blinked in surprise.

“Azul, pardon me for asking,” Jade spoke after a moment of stunned silence, “but why in the world are you asking for Floyd’s ‘Bind the Heart’?”

“Because I intend on using myself as bait,” Azul answered.

“Azul! You can’t!” you could contain yourself at the thought of Azul stepping in harm’s way.

“(Y/n), listen to me,” Azul took your hand, “This won’t be like the last time, I promise. I’m one of the strongest mages here right now, so I have to do this. Floyd’s ‘Bind the Heart’ will allow me the protection from hypnosis when we have to face off against our little viper. I don’t intend on him gaining control over anyone any longer - not even you.”

“I hate to admit it, but Azul is right,” Floyd answered, scratching the back of his head, “As much as I hate to admit, it would give us an advantage as well.”

“What do you mean, Floyd?” Jade asked.

“I’m always goin’ off about how great my signature spell is an’ showin’ it,” Floyd shrugged his shoulder, “So, if I swap something with Azul an’ give him my signature spell - no one will know that he has it, least of all our target.”

“But you’ll have to feign ignorance, all of you,” Azul answered, “If you can’t, this trap won’t work - this is the one shot we have.”

“Alright, though I’m not really seeing where this is going…” Grim sighed, resting his paws on his hips.

“You will eventually, Grim,” Azul answered, “Now, Floyd. Are you ready? I’ll give you something that will be an adequate replacement for the time being.”

“Sure, octy - whenever you’re ready.”

“How many times must I…? Never mind.”

Azul closed his eyes and took a deep breath as magic began to gather around him.

“The song ceases, the sun sets… I extend my benevolent hand to you poor unfortunate souls… Now, to business! It’s a Deal!”

***

Azul always knew how to practice patience - it was something he learned over the years during his searches for his soulmate. He may have been desperate during his childhood years, searching every day and night for that special someone that was destined to stay by his side, but that didn’t change the fact that he was preparing for this moment specifically.

All day, Azul kept one eye on his target, watching them as he, Floyd, and Jade began to slowly rile him up with their constant assistance toward Kalim - helping the Scarabia housewarden with memorization spells, training routines, and homework that had been assigned over the holiday weekend, keeping him busy and away from the one person who was to be held responsible for the mess the dorm was now in. By mid-afternoon, the trap was set and Azul walked down the hall towards the kitchens with the suspect beside him.

“The students' completion rate for these assignments is up fifteen percent from yesterday,” Azul commented amicably, “Those are some statistically significant results, in my opinion. Believe it or not, (Y/N) and Grim both told me that Kalim was going through some rough patches, his mood swings pretty drastic - even compared to Floyd’s… but he’s been acting pretty calm since we arrived. Isn’t it wonderful that Kalim’s regained the faith of Scarabia’s students, Jamil?”

“...No. No, it isn’t,” Jamil hissed quietly.

“It’s not?” Azul feigned surprise.

“No offense, but I can’t let you people stay in Scarabia any longer,” Jamil stopped and glared at Azul hard, “It’s time you went back under the sea.”

‘Got you,’ Azul thought before asking, “Where did this come from, Jamil? Have I done something to offend you?”

“...You made eye contact with me. Fool,” Jamil’s wicked grin spread across his features, “The one you behold is your master. When I ask you a question, you will answer. When I give you a command, you will assent. Snake Whisper.”

Azul felt the magic coiling around him, a small murmur of ‘Bind the Heart’ rejected the magic - now… it was time to play.

Azul feigned pain until he could see you and Jade hiding out of the corner of his eye, making sure that the two of you could see everything - his cell phone held securely in Jade’s grip as the stream began. He feigned falling into Jamil’s magic, opening his eyes to reveal Jamil’s control over his mind and body. He slightly slumped his shoulders, giving the illusion that he was no longer in control.

As he did so, Jamil began to rant - playing right into the octomer’s hands

“Because of you, all my carefully laid plans have gone up in smoke! All I needed was a little more nudging from those two dimwits and the students would’ve kicked Kalim out,” Jamil growled, “Do you have any idea how much painstaking effort I put into laying the groundwork for that?”

Azul did not respond, though he wanted to give a few choice words to Jamil about calling his sweet angelfish a ‘dimwit’ - but he would have to wait for that.

“Azul - you returned all your contractually stolen powers back to their rightful owners recently, right?” Jamil asked suddenly.

“Yes, master,” Azul responded, thinking, ‘Where are you going with… ah, I see…’

“Tch. So much for using you as my own personal genie of the lamp,” Jamil scoffed, reaching up and rubbing his chin, “Your unique magic is quite a valuable asset… but it would be hard to keep you controlled long-term.”

“Master,” Azul’s voice spoke up, “I remember the contents of the contracts.”

“What?” Jamil looked at Azul in surprise.

“I remember all the secrets of the people I made contracts with - their troubles, their weakness, their desires.”

“What a… twisted collection. I see I made the right choice not to make friends with you,” Jamil smiled cruelly, “Tell me, does this intellectual cache of yours include the headmage’s secrets?”

Azul grinned internally, baiting Jamil even more, “Of course, master. I know one thing he would never want others to learn. Do you wish to know his secret?”

“Oh, abso-lutely!” Jamil’s smile broadened, “Once I have the headmage’s weakness in my grasp, I’ll finally be free. I’ll kick Kalim out of school and become Scarabia’s housewarden myself!”

“... And there we have it.”

Azul watched, a knowing smirk appearing on his face as Jamil whipped around to face Jade, his face contorted in confusion.

“So you finally show your true colors!” Grim pressed his paws onto his hips as he glared up at Jamil from between you and Jade, “I bet you thought you were real slick, pullin’ the wool over our eyes!”

“H-how… how much..?”

“All of it,” you answered, “Start to finish.”

“And live streamed to the world from Azul’s smartphone,” Jade waved the phone at Jamil as footsteps entered the hallway with many Scarabia students appearing, “Azul’s Magicam livestream presently had five thousand active viewers. It’s currently trending under the topic: ‘A Certain Magicians’ School’s Dirty Little Secret’.”

Voices began echoing around Jamil, the students of the Scarabia dorm demanding to know the truth and why Jamil - their own vice warden - would deceive them.

“Y-you… you’ve got it all wrong!” Jamil shouted, his fear and apprehensiveness growing.

“Don’t even try to talk your way out of this one,” Jade folded his arms across his chest, “The mind control magic you used on Azul is hard evidence.”

Everyone looked at Azul - who kept his silent slumped state, continuing to pretend to be under Jamil’s magic still.

“Jamil, it’s been you all along,” Jade continued, pulling everyone’s attention back to him, “You’ve been using your signature spell on Kalim and making him throw Scarabia into chaos!”

Jamil tsked, smearing, “I was trying to avoid escalating matters, but you leave me no choice - Azul, I command you! Subdue and restrain them all!”

“Yes, master,” Azul answered, taking a step forward.

You took a step back with Jade, Grim darting behind you as you looked at Azul pleading, momentarily forgetting that Azul wasn’t really under Jamil’s power, “Azul, no. You don’t want to do this. Please! Snap out of it!”

“Pleading with him won’t help you, (Y/N)!” Jamil laughed, “He’s my loyal minion now.”

‘And… now,’ Azul took another step forward, before spinning around and pointing his cane at Jamil, “You wish I was.”

“What?!”

Azul looked over his shoulder and winked at you, relieved to see your smile as he turned his attention back toward Jamil, “You told me the funniest thing earlier - allow me to return the favor. You think I’m an arrogant mage, but you were sorely mistaken. An embarrassing misjudgment for the vice warden of Scarabia - the dorm that is supposed to embody the spirit of mindfulness.”

“I know I made eye contact with you! I had you in my control!”

“Please, I’m a competent mage and you know it,” Azul frowned, keeping his cane pointed at Jamil, “I always prepare for the eventualities before I act - right Floyd?”

“I think you let your guard down a little too soon there, sea snake,” Floyd appeared, his voice sounding more baritone than before - almost like a tuba was speaking.

Azul snickered softly as your eyebrows raised up into your hairline, “That’s… what you exchanged with Floyd for his signature spell?”

“Pretty cool, huh?” Floyd said with a grin.

“Shall I explain it?” Azul asked, keeping his focus on Jamil, “In exchange for a vocal adjustment, Floyd gave me his unique magic, ‘Bind the Heart’ - it jams or blocks an opponent’s magic and diverts it elsewhere. Hence - I used it to evade your mind spell, then pretended to be in your hold and got you to spill your intentions while you gloated.”

Jamil gritted his teeth, glaring at them as Kalim appeared, the housewarden asking politely to tell him that it was true, that Jamil would never do anything like that, that it was just blackout spells because of how tired he was. But the silence from the vice warden was short-lived.

Azul felt you stiffen beside him, your hand suddenly gripping Azul’s overcoat, “(Y/N)? What’s wrong?”

You met his gaze and Azul knew.

An overblot was approaching.

He turned to Jade and Floyd, “Jade, Floyd, ready yourselves.”

“The one you behold is your master… When I ask you a question, you will answer. When I give you a command, you will assent! Snake Whisper!”

At Jamil’s command, the Scarabia dorm turned on its guests and its headwarden.

Azul was quick to pull you and Grim behind him as a shield of water protected the three of you from a rain of fire, “Mediocre, nothing! He’s easily one of the top mages in the entire school - to say nothing of Scarabia.”

Floyd grumbled, “I keep squeezin’ em but they keep gettin’ back up - are they zombies or somethin’?”

“That’s just part of ‘Snake Whisper’,” you explain, as if your eyes are seeing the internal workings of the spell, “It forces a target to continue to obey the commands - like a puppet on a string. Even though they might feel pain and are internally trying to avoid as well as fight the spell, their minds and bodies are not completely their own anymore.”

“Jamil! Please stop!” Kalim begged as he blocked an attack, “You can have what you want! You can be the housewarden! I’ll go home to my family!”

“What? You thought that would work? My spell won’t be broken so easily,” Jamil snickered as black ink and heavy energy surrounded him, “Not as long as you exist in this world… Kalim.”

“Jamil! You’re courting danger!” Jade begged, eyes widening, “If you keep using your signature spell, you’ll exceed you blot tolerance-”

“SHUT UP AND DON’T ORDER ME AROUND!”

The air became heavy as a dark shadow came over Scarabia. Azul pulled you closer as several dark shapes began to shift - the housewarden of Octavinelle watching in horror as a creature appeared before them. Hovering above the ground in ancient Viziar garb of black and red was Jamil, cloaked in darkness with hair that now took on the shapes of small black vipers - a dark shadow that took on the form of a dark genie hovering behind him, as if awaiting his command.

“He’s overblotted!” Azul gritted his teeth, “The negative energy is swelling up… Everyone! Steel yourselves!”

“I have no need for an incompetent king or a con artist,” the twisted voice of Jamil spoke, “Your personality flaws give me ADEQUATE cause… to send you packing on a one-way trip to the ends of the earth! So long! Ex-Housewarden Kalim! A-hahahahaha!”

The next thing Azul knew, he was airborne.

[blackwidownat2814]

Merry Christmas Lieutenant (J.Seresin)

Pairing: Jake Seresin x female reader

Word Count: 1440 (ish)

A/N: Written for @sailor-aviator’s Christmas Writing Challenge. My word was candy cane. To be super honest, I completely forgot I had to write this until last night and went through about 5 ideas before I landed on this today. Thanks to @buckysdollforlife for the quick beta-ing they did earlier. Part of the Jake & Dewey ‘Verse. GIF by @babyrooster

Dividers by: @saradika (Go check out her others, they're awesome!!!)

Warnings: Super fluffy and honestly? The most suggestive thing I’ve written…ever. So yeah, implied future smut I guess?

Masterlist

MERRY CRISIS EVERYONE!!!

When you’d told Jake that your favorite thing about Christmas was candy canes and other peppermint flavored things, you didn’t think he’d go this hard with it.

On December 1st, you shambled into the kitchen to see Jake standing at the island with a steaming mug in his hand and a big smile on his face.

“Merry Christmas sweetheart.” He leaned down to press a kiss to your lips and when you pulled away, you took a sip of your coffee.

“Jake! You made me a Peppermint Mocha?!”

“Of course I did, it’s your favorite.”

“Maybe you should change your callsign to 'Starbies'.”

On December 2nd, you woke to find a big bag of the Ghirardelli Peppermint Bark Squares on your nightstand with a short note I love you so much baby. Enjoy your minty snack!

You took the bag with you to work and shared the love with your coworkers. On your lunch hour, you headed over to the Exchange to meet up with Bob for lunch and shared some with him, giving him extra to share with the other Daggers.

“Hey Bobbers? Could you give Jake something extra for me please?”

“Sure Dew, what is it?” You planted a kiss on Bob’s cheek and he turned red and smiled. “I can’t guarantee he’s going to appreciate it as much since it’s not coming from you.”

It went like that for the next week or so. Candy cane themed gifts for you every day. Knee high socks covered in candy canes, some earrings you’d seen on TikTok, all kinds of candies that were putting out their peppermint flavored things.

Two weeks before Christmas, Jake came home with news that he and the other Daggers (Mav included) were going to be gone until a few days before the holiday to several Naval Air Stations starting in New Jersey and ending back home in San Diego. You didn’t know all the facts, because all Jake could tell you was that it had to do with the Uranium Mission (since you were Mickey’s only family and Jake’s partner, Mav had said that all you could really know was that it was dangerous and that the squad called it the Uranium Mission).

Jake promised his gifts would keep going in his absence, even when you told him they didn’t need to.

The first day he was gone, you went to the Hard Deck to have dinner with Halo, a recent friend. Halo waved when she saw you walk in and you joined her at the end of the bar, where you greeted Penny.

“Hey Pen, missing Mav already?”

“Always do”, she replied with a smile. After you and Halo gave her your dinner order, she placed a glass down in front of you.

“What’s this?”

“Hangman asked me to get you a peppermint flavored drink every time you come in while they’re all gone.” She pulls a mini-candy cane from under the bar and sticks it in the glass. “This here is a Peppermint Piña Colada. Enjoy.”

“What’s with all the peppermint?” asked Callie.

“Last month, I told Jake that one of my favorite things about Christmas was candy canes and peppermint flavored stuff. Since December 1st, he’s given me something peppermint flavored or candy cane themed every single day.” You took a sip of your drink, “Oof…that’s actually better than I thought it would be.”

“Oh. So that’s why Hangman asked me to give you this.” Callie pulled a small red and white gift bag from the bar stool beside her and slid it your way. “He said to tell you not to open it until tomorrow though.”

“Ugh! But I want to open it now!”

“He said, and I quote: ‘One a day Dewey, that’s the rule. Be a good girl and follow the rules.’” Callie made a face like she wanted to vomit. “I don’t kink shame, but I did not need to know that.”

You’re not sure how long you laughed after that.

The next day, Callie came to visit you at the library.

“So, what was in the bag?” she asked. “Wait. After that message, I’m not sure I want to know.” You gave a small laugh as you placed two small spray bottles on your desk.

“He got me hand sanitizer spray in Twisted Peppermint from Bath & Body Works. One for the office and one to carry in my bag.”

“Can I have some?”

“Sure!” You give her a couple sprays and she rubbed her hands together.

“This smells awesome. Like I’d dipped my hands in Christmas or something.”

While he was gone, Jake had cookies from Tiff’s Treats (a dozen minty chocolate) delivered, a box of only peppermint chocolates from Copper Coast Confections, a new red and white striped apron from Hedley & Bennett with your name embroidered on the front. After watching Next Level Chef a few months ago, you’d expressed to him how you wanted an apron from H&B one day and that it might take you a while because they were pretty expensive. You couldn’t believe he’d remembered. After that, when you invited Callie and Penny over and the three of you would cook or bake together, you smiled big as you sported your new apron.

Finally, the day Jake and the rest of the Daggers were due home arrived. They weren’t due until late afternoon, so you changed in your office at the library. You wore your candy cane earrings, striped Santa hat, bright red lipstick with peppermint gloss, and made sure your new manicure (candy cane themed of course) shone brightly.

You stood with Penny and the other families that waited for their sailors. You hugged Bob and Phoenix when they walked over to you guys and when Reuben and your brother arrived, they both gave you a big wet kiss on either cheek. Distracted as you were wiping your cheeks off while laughing, you didn’t see or hear Jake approaching.

“What are you doin’ givin’ my girl kisses, Payback?”

“JAKE!” You whirled around with a scream.

“Hey sweetheart.” You practically jumped into his arms and pulled his face to yours (thank goodness for long lasting liquid lipsticks!). Jake took it a step further and dipped you backwards while still kissing you…like that sailor kissing a nurse in New York City on VJ Day in 1945.

“What am I?” you heard Mickey ask. “Chopped liver?”

Later that night, you were in bed reading while Jake finished his shower. You could smell the shower gel he used because it was one he’d gotten you while he was gone (a delicious pepperminty scent from LUSH), and he finally emerged from the bathroom in a peppermint scented cloud.

“Boy, am I happy to be home.”

“I’m glad you’re home too, Jake.” You pecked him on the lips when he leaned down over you. “I missed you and even though I loved absolutely everything you got me--especially the candy cane themed flower bouquet--none of it replaces having you here with me.”

“You sap.”

“Shut up. You love how sappy I am.”

“True.” He put on his sleep pants and got in bed next to you. “Do you want today’s present?”

“I thought you were today’s present?”

“I’m just the bonus”, he said with his traditional Jake Seresin smile (it was your favorite of his smiles).

“Then gimme!” You put your book down and made grabby hands at him.

“Here you go m’darlin.” He handed you a small box with a red and white bow on it.

“Jake. Jake. This isn’t…?”

“No, it isn’t. I wouldn’t do that without Mickey being present.”

“Oh okay. It’s not that I don’t want to…”

“Baby, don’t worry, I understand.”

“I love you.”

“I know.” He winked at you and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

“Nerd.” You turn back to the small box and open it. Inside was a necklace with a small ruby and diamond encrusted candy cane on it. “Holy shit.”

“I take it that means you like it.”

“I love it Jake.” You settle onto his lap and kiss him. When you pull apart, he takes the necklace from the box and moves to put it on you. “Thanks cowboy. I think this is going to beat one of my gifts to you for sure.”

“Oh? Do tell.” You hop off his lap and run into your closet. A few minutes later, you emerge wearing your new candy cane themed robe and your necklace.

“I wanted to put on my necklace and see what you think about how it looks.”

“Let’s see it.” Jake’s jaw drops comically when you throw off your robe, because standing in front of him is you. In your necklace.

Just your necklace.

“Merry Christmas Lieutenant.”

[cyanbugremix]

Reductive Audio #7 Spoilers

Uhh this is just a list of my favorite facts from the reductive audio

All d(a)emons are ambidextrous, and Ivan is left-handed, but the cool part is that Ivan became ambidextrous when Vega was controlling him (idk is that cool?? It's interesting for sure)

Brachium has only ever experienced vanilla extract through the memories of the dead.

Caelum on the other hand has made a "Vanilla Extract Tumblr Cake" (one of those polls where people "bake a cake" and it has too much vanilla extract voted for, i think) and it turned out horrible!

In Mario games, Elliot was forced to play as Luigi by Aaron, because of his at home nickname being "Ell/L" and Luigi starts with an L (you get the gist. It sounds the same)(Elliot wanted to be toad tho)(Aaron would play as Mario)

Gavin technically can and has pretended to read a book, he just has never actually committed to doing so

Lasko is scared of heights even though he knows that he could catch himself if he were to fall, so he thinks the fear is annoying

Damien peut parle français (Where did Damien learn french?? At home? School? As a hobby?)

Ash was taller than David, until David hit puberty and shot up (thus the big guy nickname came to be)(Seriously tho. So many boys would shoot up in like 3 months during summer break and be wayy tall when we'd get back to school and I was always amazed that someone could grow that tall that quick)

Oof T-T Sam was close with his Grandma Adeline (Adelene?), and when she passed he went back home to Mont Blanc to say goodbye to her grave (he snuck into the cemetery at night because he was a vampire by then)

Kody was gonna originally be involved with Closeknit, but then his character was taken in a different direction (makes lots of sense. He would be a closeknit guy)

Huxley was the fastest kid in his grade because he was obsessed with Bionicles (specifically pohatu with the mask of speed) (omg i forgot about bionicles until I looked them up again. I never did anything with them but I remember them)

Milo doesn't drink alcohol because he doesn't want to find out if he can get addicted to things as easily as his dad

Avior has HEARD of Gavin but never met him before

Oldest 3 d(a)emons in order: Polaris (Dead), Vega (dead for a bit but alive again), Ursa (elation daemon)

Camelopardalis has been in therapy for 2 years to work through the the bad memories that he had to keep of the whole Vega and Ivan problem (and he hasn't wiped his therapists memories yayy!!)

Arden took out the second most shades (David is the winner in taking out the most) during the Inversion, and Christian and her defended the VIP box through the whole night, even when Christian couldn't stay in wolf form

Kelsey started the Chrissy nickname! (Arden and Asher use it the most)

Aaron, when Elliot's powers first manifested, would imagine what it was like to be magical (He wanted to be a "Warder" and do force field stuff)

BLAKE WAS GOING TO ORIGINALLY BE CALLED CARVER OMG

Zeke (Member of Closeknit) drinks "Cactus Cooler" (orange and pineapple soda)

Xavier (contra-elemental) was originally supposed to survive the inversion

Bailey's mother is beta of the Keaton pack

DJ Anxiety (Hudson) still makes mixes, he just hasn't done live DJ-ing since the Inversion

Gregory Keaton doesn't exist in the Fooliverse (his parents never met in that AU)

Anton doesn't like gore, and bcuz of that he prefers black and white horror movies (modern ones often have too much gore in them) (Such a vibe for him)

Brachium was the last serenity daemon created by Min'Ara's own hands

E'Laetum has a grudge against Vega because Vega was specifically built to be the opposite of Polaris (even tho the dude didn't have a say in his creation)

Quinn sounded like he was interested in turning Darlin' (but they never could figure out if he was serious or not)

Hush was supposed to originally be apart of one of Echo's "deals"

Porter's maker was a dude named Felix, who got executed because Felix seemed to really like creating progeny (as well as being horrible to them)

Alexis resents Porter for becoming William's favorite when he wants someone to go out and do whatever, because Alexis does more "collateral damage" than Porter

(And there's cool Vampire lore from The Summit vampires from 26:18-27:36)

[glisten-inthedark]

STanon, wrapping up season 3 and goodness I forgot that there’s a 3 month gap between Starcourt and the Byers leaving, because I always got the sense that Mike and Eleven were still broken up before she kissed him, based off the awkwardness between them and how big of a deal they made that kiss. part of them making it a big deal is the ily but even back when I shipped them I thought that moment was the getting back together

which…….if they didn’t get back together for 3 months until the literal day Eleven leaves……..oof

Hi! I never thought about them still being broken up, I don't know I assumed they were already back together at that point but now that you talk about it kinda makes sense that they hadn't because yeah, it does feel like a big deal if you're right.

If they didn't get back together until then, oof.

[grayishgiggles]

Study Buddies

The General Education Development test…also known as the GED; that was what Peter 1 had plopped on his desk. Well, it wasn’t the actual test, but the giant $180 practice book he had purchased. While it originally felt like a poor financial decision to him, it would probably give him a better shot at a college acceptance than going into it blind. He turned a page, glancing at the next question. Peter 1 stopped halfway through as his thoughts got in the way. He glanced to the right of his desk, in which a small Emperor Palpatine LEGO figure stared back.

Usually Peter and Ned would spend their Sunday nights over the hulking textbooks, scribbling on flash cards and quizzing one another with the sound of a show in the background. At the time it was hectic—oftentimes the test they were studying for was the next day—but he would do anything to feel that again. All the little Peter could hear now was the humming of a rickety radiator in his apartment. It was too quiet…too lonely. He always hated studying alone.

But now was not the time to think about that stuff. He had his phone’s stopwatch ticking away.

Returning to the open book, he filled in the bubble on an answer, hopefully a correct one. He was too far behind to think twice. Just a few more problems left…and he could be finished on time.

Intermolecular forces? He should know that, right? He took AP chemistry.

A refractory period…he swore he knew that answer too.

Peter 1 bit his lip and put random answers down for those just so he could finish it. This was a practice test after all. The screaming alarm from his phone timer made him hit his knee against the desk when he jolted. “OW!” He was quick to silencing it.

And now…the moment of truth. Peter 1 held the page of completed answers between his fingers as he flipped to the back of the book for the correct ones.

Oof.

He didn’t do good.

Peter 1 slumped in his chair. He suspected his smarts would be a little rusty after not having school for a solid five months now. Nonetheless…he was disappointed in himself.

With a pout, the spider-man took his phone out and was greeted with a text from someone: Peter 2.

Why’s the old geezer up? Snorted Peter 1. He opened the text:

I just got a tingle that came through. Not sure where it’s from. Are you ok? Are you safe?

The littlest Peter’s heart fluttered. Oh come on…he didn’t wanna alert the big bear now, not over something so minute.

Peter 1’s thumbs hovered over the phone’s little keyboard. Maybe Peter 2 would think it was something else that caused the tingle. There was always a bank robbery or a building being damaged by a weirdly costumed villain anyways. No biggie.

So Peter 1 closed out of the message app, and turned his phone off. Setting aside the text, he picked up his pencil. Time for take two.

Thankfully this practice test was more merciful to him. Peter 1 felt he was flying through the first few pages. He caught himself grinning at one point. But he got confident too soon and ended up stuck on another science section problem.

How many damn systems were found in the human body again?! Was it seven?

A sudden woosh from behind made the hair on the back of Peter 1’s neck stand. He spun around to be met by that familiar portal.

God dammit.

He knew exactly who those two taller figures were in front of the orange pulsating gateway. Peter 2 and 3 stepped through, with the portal closing behind them. Their arms were crossed like dads watching a very intense baseball game.

“What’re you doing here?”

“Why did you leave me on read?” Peter 2 approached closer.

“Wh-?”

“Peter 3 says it’s bad news when someone leaves you on read!”

“Well I-I forgot to reply, I’m sorry.” Peter 1 pulled out a fake smile. “Everything’s alright.”

Peter 2 didn’t believe that, crinkling his eyebrows together. “Are you sure?” He asked, his eyes caught by Peter 3 leaning over the youngest’s messy desk. “Oh boy, what’s going on here?”

Peter 1 grimaced and closed the giant test book. “It’s…school stuff.”

“That’s a GED manual!”

“I know! I’m just-I’m just trying to study-!”

“Do you need any help?”

“I’m fine! It’s nothing!” Peter 1 held his hands up, silencing the concerned older brothers. They exchanged looks while Peter 2 knelt down next to him. “Look at me, bud.”

It took a lot for the littlest to finally meet his brother’s kind blue eyes.

“I don’t get the tingle for little things. Clearly this is important for you. Let us help.” Peter 2 gave a soft smile. “Studying alone isn’t fun.”

With a small sigh and a shrug, Peter 1 nodded. “Okay. Well…I-I dunno where to start.” He watched the middle brother pick up the giant manual and flip around the pages curiously. Peter 2 stood up to check it as well. “What section are you struggling with?”

The youngest looked down, ashamed that he was going to let these words leave his mouth. “Science.”

Peter 2 blinked. “Science?! Our best subject?” He asked, glancing at Three, his mouth ajar.

“Yeah I’m...not proud of it either.”

“Hey-Hey! It’s ok! You’re just, ya know, going through a lot…” Peter 3 mumbled with a sympathetic shrug. “I know I like using quiz websites a lot to study. You wanna try that?”

Peter 1 shrugged. Quizlets and Kahoot games didn’t do much for him.

“That’s cool, it’s cool. We’ll just…uhhhhh…” the middle brother glanced at Peter 2 for any ideas, surprised to see him so calm.

“I got some things we could try,” he craned his neck to look for something on the desk, “uhhhh…you got flash cards?”

The littlest blinked out of his sad daze. “Oh. Yeah, yeah I do.” After opening a drawer, he handed a multicolor pack to him and a pen. “I didn’t think of those, heheh.”

“Well,” Two clicked the pen a few times, “since the science section has different units it covers—chemistry, anatomy…”

“We could use the different colors for different units!” Peter 3 finished, stealing some from Two and making him glare playfully. “Care to ask next time?”

“No.” The middle brother stuck his tongue out, happy that the funny arguing made the little brother giggle. “Okay, Uno, it’s floor time.”

It had to take them at least an hour. Dozens of cards, written and unwritten, scattered about the hardwood and surrounded the trio. Peter 1 propped himself on his elbows as he wrote, kicking his legs, while Peter 2 sat crisscrossed, and Peter 3 laying on his side. Two’s pen died halfway through, but the man found a sharpie to make up for it.

“Ok ow, I need a break…” One tapped out, flexing his hand. “I’m gonna develop arthritis.”

Two chuckled. “If anyone’s developing arthritis, it’s me.”

“It’s ok, bud. We’re almost done!” Peter 3 held up his last two empty cards. “See?”

“Oh thank god! Ugh!”

“So should we come up with a reward system?”

Three paused his writing and raised an eyebrow. “A what?”

“I use a reward system when I study to keep me motivated,” stated the oldest, placing a newly written flash card in his “done” pile, “like when I get so many correct answers I add a minute to my TV time or something. It tends to help me. Maybe it’s worth a try!”

The now laying down Peter 1 held a thumbs up at that, “I dunno what would work though…” he sighed and dropped his hand.

Peter 3 cheered quietly as he finished his last card. That’s when it hit him. Nothing could stop the tall man’s smile from growing. “Hey Two…”

“Ye-wH??” The oldest’s arm was yanked, spinning him around, now in a huddle with Peter 3. He whispered, “what?”

“I just need you to hear me out.”

One’s eyes were closed initially, but the hushed whispering across the cards were too loud to be ignored. He sat up. “What’re you hiding from me?”

A pair of blue and brown eyes peeked up from their secret big brother meeting. “Nothing!”

“Then why’re you whispering?”

Both fell silent, then shrugged.

“If you’re thinking about water boarding me as a reward system, I won’t have it.” Peter 1 crossed his arms playfully.

“No no! It’s not that, I promise!” Three broke from the huddle with a chuckle. “It’s even better than that!”

“Then what is it?”

No words were said with what came next. One moment the little Peter was watching his brother exchange another look, then the next moment he was thrown into a mass tangle of limbs. If he knew better he would’ve assumed it was a hug, but he felt four hands grab at his extremities. This was no hug. All that could come out of his mouth was a “WAHHH!!”

The next thing he saw was his big brothers looking down at him. Three adjusted his seat on the boy’s legs as Two wrestled his arms above his head. “Oh noho no no no no no not this I know what you’re doing!!!” Squeaked out the captive.

“Then you know the rules: get a question wrong, and you’re tickled!” The oldest said, sitting on his wrists and grabbing his handful of flash cards. “Let’s start with an easy one…”

“Oh! Wait! Lemme do this one!” While the oldest flipped through his cards, Peter 3 had already found a good starter. The pink-faced Peter groaned once Three began reading:

“One of two or more alternative forms of a gene that arise by mutation, found at the same place on a chromosome.”

Peter 1 only smirked at the definition. “Easy! An allele.”

“Ya got it!” Peter 3 cheered, flipping to a new card. “Your turn, dos.”

“What’s the difference between prokaryotes and eukaryotes?” The oldest peered over his flash cards to smirk, only to be met with another smug look. “Oh come on now. You’re going too easy on me.”

“I guess you got it covered then, hm?” Two looked to Three. “Let’s hit the road! Looks like he’ll pass with flying colors!”

“You got it!” The two men loosened their hold as if they were going to free him.

“WAIT NO! I-I wanna study with you guys!” The panicked spidey grabbed at Two’s hand. “Just gimme harder questions!”

They chuckled as they settled down into pinning him. “Okay then, get a heavy hitter, Three.”

“Hmmmmmmm…” flip, flip, flip, went Peter 3. “Ah! Physics! You remember physics, right Peter 1?” To add to the teasiness, Peter 2 ever so evilly held his clawed hands over the boy’s underarms.

On the outside, Peter 1 was giving him daggers, but on the inside he was one teasy comment away from giggling like crazy. “…yes, I know physics.”

“Then this should be niiiiice and easy,” the lilt in Three’s voice did not help Peter 1’s composure, nor tingle. His spidey sense kept buzzing in his head.

“Can momentum be hidden to human eyes like how kinetic energy can be hidden as heat?”

Peter 1’s eyes bugged out. “What kinda question is that??”

“A physics question!”

“Alright uhh…ummm…” Peter 1 didn’t like how his brothers smirked down at him. “Ohohoh god.”

“Ten seconds.” Two stated.

“UHH UM..UH…” that’s when the giggles flew out like crazy. “Hehehehehe-!! I-IHIHihihi-! Uhuhuh-!”

“EHH! Wrong!” Peter 3’s fingers darted to his sides and squeezed. Peter 2’s pair of claws dug into his armpits at the same time. A shrill squeal leapt out of the youngster’s mouth. “The answer was yes AND no!”

“YOHOHOU ASSHOHOLE THAT WAS A TRICK QUESTION!!” He hiccuped. The attack let up only a few seconds later, but he could hear his brothers continue their snickering. “Shuhuhut up!! Next question!”

“Okahahay okayyyy…” The oldest cleared his throat. “H-Hohow about an anatomy question?”

“Fihineee…”

“Which artery is the main source of blood for the arm?”

Oh come on! Peter 1 knew this!

Not the ulnar artery or the radial one…no it was from the biceps. Biceps brachii. Something with brachii. Shit. Three’s wiggling his fingers. Shit shit shit what was it called?! Shit don’t look at him!! Stop wiggling your fingers!!

“Brachii artery??”

“Oooh…so close.” Two sucked his teeth with a curled up grin. “It’s actually riiight here.” His fingers wiggled down his bicep and earned a string of giggles. “EEheheHEHEY!”

“That’s the brachial artery! You were close!”

“What a shame!”

Peter 1 squealed at Three’s fingers getting his other bicep.

“DAHAhahammit I knew thAHAT!” Peter 1 tugged at his hands, but they didn’t budge. Two’s nimble fingers were beginning to drive him nuts though. They kept getting close to his armpit. “TWOHOSTAHP!”

“Did ya know that armpits are ticklish cause they have big arteries?” He stopped the teasing and swirled a finger in each hollow, loving the wriggles and cackles that came out of it. “SHUHUTUPSHUTUP!”

“Wow, I didn’t know that, Two!” Three jokingly added, watching the panting brother and reshuffling his cards. “Let’s see if he can get the next anatomy question, though.”

Sadly, he didn’t get that one correct either. It was over the series of arteries in knee joints. Of course Three picked knees.

“PLEHEHEASE-!” He snorted and threw his head back. “ITTICKLESSTAHAHAP!”

Two was struggling to keep him still. “I don’t think he hears you, buddy! Shouldn’t have gotten that answer wrong!”

“Did someone say something?” Three turned around innocently. His back was facing One and Two as he was kneading at his knees. “Oh! Does he want me to stop?”

“YES!”

“You could’ve just said sooo!” He cooed, the punishment halting. “What are you at right now… 1 to 2? Not a good score.”

“Nehehext question!”

And so the game continued.

“PFFTNAHAO WAIT WAHAIT I CHANGE MY ANSWER!”

Well, in the older brothers’ eyes, this was a game. They couldn’t pass up an opportunity to hear the baby bro laugh like a little hyena.

“Equilibrium!”

“Correct!”

“Wow, you’re like 11 for 8 now!”

“Shut uhuhup.”

Entertainment aside, Peter 1 started to get the hang of it.

A locked away part of One’s brain was starting to give now. His freshman biology class…his honors physics…thanks to his big brothers, he remembered what those classrooms looked like in the midst of desperately grabbing at lost  vocabulary.

“External illiac?”

“EHH! Wrong!”

“BWAHAHA NOOO!”

Most of the physics stuff came back easily, but he didn’t have as much luck with anatomy. It kept giving his big brothers an excuse to tickle him in his bad spots.

“Which artery is the main source of blood for the arm?”

Peter 1 was recovering after another wrong answer when the question repeated. “W-Wahait…I know that one.” He took another breath. “B..Brachial artery.”

“Correct!”

“WOOO!!”

A relieved smile took over the boy’s face. “Oh thahank god…”

“See? You’re doing great!” Two cheered, pinching his cheek. “You hanging in there?”

“Y-Yeheah I’m okay.”

“Ya need a break? We’ve been at it for…” Three checked his phone. “30 minutes.”

“No I’m...I’m good! Let’s keheheep going!”

The fluffy haired brother and clean-cut haired brother shrugged at one another. “Alright then.”

The amount of cackles and squeaks diminished after each run through of the deck. There was always one or two questions that continued to stump him, but that only incentivized the little Peter to keep pushing forward.

This was helping him, a lot.

“Okay big man…final question.”

“Wh…really?” Peter 1 looked up.

Peter 3 nodded and smirked. “Get this question wrong, and we tickle you for 20 minutes!”

“Why???”

“Because you haven’t gotten a single question wrong this time around!”

The youngest spidey blinked. “…really?”

“You’ve made some real progress.” Two sounded genuine in his remark. “It’d be a shame if you got it wrong.”

“Wow. No pressure there.” One scoffed and smiled. “Okay, okay. Hit me.”

Three held up the single neon pink card and cleared his throat dramatically. “What is the correct sequence of blood flow?”

Peter 1 took a deep breath and thought for a second. “Pulmonary vein…left atrium…left ventricle…and aorta.”

…

Peter 2 and 3 were silent.

OH COME O—

“Correct!” They cheered in unison.

A loud sigh of relief came out from Peter 1. “Jeheheez you scared me!!!”

“Wanted to make it dramatic! Look at you, smarty!” The middle brother ruffled up his curly hair. “You did it!”

“Very proud of you, lil guy.” Two proceeded to climb off of his arms, and the youngest sat up. “C’mere!!” He was caught in between two pairs of arms. At least he was aware this was a hug this time.

“You won’t forget those answers now, right?” Three chuckled and looked down. “Right?”

Peter 2 glanced down as well. “One?”

The little Spider-Man’s smile had faded, replaced by a small frown. “Mmm.”

“What’s up, buddy?”

“I kinda…miss the tickles from the beginning of the game.”

Two and Three cooed, not in a teasing way, but in affection.

“You wanna have some tickle time then?” Three pulled away from the hug to make eye contact. He smiled at the blushing response he got. “Awwww someone deserves a lil tickle for studying!!” That comment sent him over. Now there was a flustered and giggling Peter 1 between the big brothers. Two practically melted.

“You’re sure right, Tres,” Two kissed the top of his head. “Let’s tickle him as celebration! Come on, One, lay down!”

“Nooooooo stahaaaaaap!”

“Come onnnnn!” The brothers cooed together, cheering softly when the kid obeyed. He was half laying down. He kept his legs to his chest anxiously. “Heyyy you’re hiding the good spots from us!”

“Then we just gotta dig!” Peter 2 growled, plunging his hands between where One’s legs and chest met, searching for his belly. He was very pleased at the loud squeaks that he got. “EENAHATTHAT GEHET OUT!”

“You want tickles? You get tickles!” Peter 3 didn’t hesitate to join, prying at his legs.

Eventually they cracked open the clam of Peter 1, grabbing for any tickle spot available to the two. The wild tickle attack had only just begun, but Peter 1 couldn’t be happier.

He’d have to use this study method for all his exams.

[justmeinadaze]

We're A Family Part 7 (Steddie X You)

A/N: Enjoy the fluff <3

Warnings: Smut, fluff, and a slight bit of angst. Steddie dynamic and all that that implies (I regret nothing!), Mentions of Steve and reader having trouble with their parents. More than anything just Steddie being cute dads <3.

Word Count: 3758

Wayne grins as he as holds Aurora under her arms up to his face and makes funny sounds with his mouth as she giggles. You smile as you watch them from your place at the sink, scrubbing away at the never-ending supply of baby bottles. 

It had been 6 months since she was born and thankfully your maternity leave flowed into summer vacation for the school so you were able to be home with her. Once summer started Dylan wanted to help out more offering to keep her entertained while you did things around the house. He really was the best big brother when it came to her. 

He would talk to her 24/7 about books and video games especially when he was playing one. Any wisdom Eddie and Steve had given him, he told her as if he had come up with the information all by himself. 

The guys, of course, were a big help as well when it came to Aurora even going overboard at times. Since you spent all day with her and Dylan, they insisted on getting up with her in the middle of the night when she cried. After the kids were in bed, they made sure you were taken care of whether it be making or bringing home dinner, cleaning the house, or even something as small as rubbing your back. 

Watching them with the baby was always a unique experience. Eddie and Steve were adorable dads and to anyone on the outside looking in, there would be no doubt that they loved her with all their heart. What was fun for you was seeing their different personalities leak through. 

For example, one night Steve woke up to comfort Aurora and after sneaking down the hall to check on them, you found him feeding her a bottle while swaying his body as sang the song from Sleeping Beauty. That morning after Steve had left for work, you came downstairs to see Eddie holding her against his shoulder, patting her back while singing “Photograph” by Def Leppard.  

“You look exactly like your dad when he was a baby.”, Wayne smiled as he brought Aurora down to his side. “I’ll have to bring some of his baby pictures, Y/N. I swear, she could be his clone.”

“She definitely has Eddie’s energy.” You reach out to poke her nose and she giggles, kicking her feet.

“How have you been?”

“Oof. I’ve been alright. I don’t know what I would do without the guys. I forgot what it was like having a baby in the house.” Wayne nods to himself as you sigh. “That’s not what you meant, is it?”

“No, sweetheart. It’s not.”

After drying your hands, you come around to his side of the counter and take a seat at one of the stools. 

“Kierra told my mom I had the baby and…my mother hung up on her. I haven’t seen her since she came by to yell at us. Steve’s parents haven’t been by either and… his dad finally followed through with cutting him off.” You laugh as a tear escapes down your cheek. “Couldn’t even face him, choosing to mail him the information. Yeah… so congratulations! You’re Aurora’s only grandparent.”

Wayne leans forward, wrapping his arm around you and kissing the top of your head. The alarm beeps as the front door opens and you quickly pull back to dry your eyes. Just from the smell alone, you already know who it is before he becomes visible. 

“Hey Eddie!”

“Jesus, woman. Are you psychic? Hey, baby.” Eddie gives you a quick peck, hesitating as he pulls away when he looks into your eyes. “Are you okay?”

Aurora saves you from having to answer as she babbles baby talk in his direction. “Oh, really? Well, I don’t know if you want me to hold you yet. I smell like a car engine.”

He chuckles as she leans towards him and he takes her from his uncle. “Alright, yall. I’m going to head home. Bye, Ro.” Wayne tickles her neck and she keens into her father’s shoulder as she giggles. 

As soon as he leaves, the door flies open again as your son runs through it holding grocery bags in his hands; Steve following a few moments after. 

“Why does it smell like a gas station?”

“Okay, Okay. I get it.” Eddie passes you Aurora before heading up the stairs to take a shower. 

“Hey, babe.” Steve kiss your forehead before tickling the baby’s side. “And baby. Did you have fun with grandpa today?” She smiles at him and tiny arms wrap around his neck. “I got some of those baby snacks you mentioned since we’re supposed to be trying solid food. I also got…” His eyes scanned the kitchen before Dylan beamed up at you, handing you’re a small bouquet of roses. 

“Aw, you guys didn’t have to do that.” 

“I know we didn’t have to. We wanted to.”

###############

After dinner that night, Eddie sat on the floor with Aurora playing his guitar while Steve laid beside her. Dylan sat on the couch with you watching TV while you went through the mail. 

“Steve…” He answered you with a light hm. “This is addressed from Hawkins Community College.” All heads in the room turned towards you as you dropped to the floor and handed it to him. 

He sat up and rapidly tore open the envelope as his eyes scanned the paper. 

“Well? Don’t leave us in suspense, Harrington.”

“Little man, come here and help me read this.” He handed the note to Dylan who promptly began reciting the letter. 

“Dear Steven Harrington. We are so excited that you have chosen to apply at our school and are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into the teaching program…”

You squealed with delight as you wrapped your arms around his neck and you both fell flat on the floor. Eddie cheered as he clapped his hands, Aurora watching him with wide eyes as she kicked her feet. 

“I’m so happy for you! This is fantastic.” 

“When do you start?”, the metalhead asked.

“In September. I have to make a payment first though.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that right now. This is a good thing. Let’s be excited.” You lean down to kiss the baby’s cheek. “Did you hear that? Daddy’s going to school.”

###########

“Hey, Mrs. Harrington.” Steve’s mom gave you a once over with her eyes, completely taken back by your sudden arrival at her house. “May I come in?”

She nods and you step inside as she opens the door wider.

“Is my son with you?”

“No, ma’am. He actually doesn’t know I’m here. I wanted to talk to you. One of you… I did try and call Mr. Harrington’s phone but he never answers.”

You take a seat on her couch as you fidget with your hands, waiting for her to sit as well so you can begin. 

“I know what you’re thinking and I swear I’m not here for me. I meant what I said when I told your husband that I love Steve with or without his money. He’s always been good to me and my son. He’s also an amazing dad with Aurora, our daughter.” Pulling out your phone, you show her a picture of Steve fast asleep with the baby on his chest. A small smile flickers across her lips at the image.

“The reason I’m here is…he got accepted into college and will be in the teaching program. We’re so proud of him. Steve starts this fall but only if…he can make the payment. He has put a lot of money aside; we all have for him but…he’s a few hundred short.” 

Your eyes meet hers. “Please. He’s worked so hard for this and deserves it. I can pay you back as soon as I can or do whatever you want me to.”

Mrs. Harrington softly smiles as she rises from the couch to find her purse.

“Tell my son…that I’m so proud of him and I love him.”

###########

“Y/N!”

You cringe as Steve shouts your name as soon as he enters the front door. 

“Hey, whoa. Calm down, Harrington. Aurora’s asleep. What’s going on?”

“I don’t know, Eddie. That’s what I’m trying to find out!”

“Baby, can you keep an eye on Ro for me?”, you ask. As soon as Dylan gives you the okay, you leave your bedroom and head down the stairs. 

“What did you do?!”, Steve snaps. “My dad texts me while I’m at fucking work commanding you stop calling him and then, suddenly, I have 20 grand in my bank account.”

“I didn’t ask for that much. Your mom insisted after I told her you got into school.”

“You did what?”, Eddie asks now seemingly just as confused.

“We…we didn’t save enough for you to make that first tuition payment.”, you shrugged. “Steve, you deserve this. I swear I only asked her for the small amount you needed. She did the rest saying she was proud of you and that she loved you.”

“Y/N, do you understand how much farther we can get with this money when it comes to our family?! I’d rather use this money for Aurora and Dylan than me.”

“So you can continue making pennies at a job you’re not happy at?! Steve, in the long run you going to school and getting your degree benefits everyone especially our family.”

He takes a step closer to you, pointing his finger in your face. “You had no right to do this with talking to me first.”

“I knew you would say no.”

“You’re fucking right I would have! I can handle this situation without their help, Y/N and the fact that you think I can’t is extremely belittling.”

“That’s not what I’m saying! Don’t put words in my mouth!”

“Okay! Okay.” Eddie steps between you two, holding up his palms. “Stop yelling because, again, our daughter is taking a nap. Now, Y/N, he’s right. You should have talked to him about this first before you did anything. Steve, we know her. She did this with good intentions. Y/N was just trying to help.”

The baby monitor cuts through the tension as Aurora begins to cry. 

“Mom?!”

“Yeah! I hear her!”

Steve pushes past you both and huffs as he stomps up the stairs. 

#############

“Steve? Can I sit with you?”, Dylan asks as he pokes his head into the baby’s room. As soon as the man nods, your son comes in and lays on the floor beside him and Aurora who was now happily reaching at the hanging toys dangling above her head. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, dude. I’m just…thinking.”

“About my mom?”

“No…mine.”, Steve sighs. “She, uh, just gave me a lot of money so I can go to school.”

“That’s cool! My mom told me once she had money set up for me for when I go. Did yours do the same thing?”

“Not exactly, little man.”, he chuckled. “My dad always wanted me to be a businessman like him. Wear a suit and all that.” Steve mimes tightening a tie that makes Dylan laugh. “When I couldn’t get into college after high school…he took all that money and, um, invested it in other places.”

“Invested?”

“He…put the money towards other things that would benefit him.”

“Huh. That sounds selfish.” The man meets your son’s eyes as he continues. “Well, I’m proud of you, Steve! I’m invested in you.”

Steve smiles as Aurora coos as if to agree with her brother. “Can I ask you something, kid? That money my mom gave me…could really help you and your sister. I can set it aside for you two to go to school or we can use it for things like clothes or toys…”

“Do we have trouble getting that stuff now?”

“No.”

“So…you would be investing it in something that might happen instead of something that you know is happening…like you becoming a teacher.”

Steve laughed as he reached out to lightly push the boy’s shoulder. “When did you get so smart?”

##############

“Sweetheart, what are you doing? I can stay up with her.”, Eddie chided when he found you on the couch with Aurora at 3 am. You grinned at his sleepy frame as he came to sit beside you, yawning as he rubbed his hand over his bare tummy. 

“I couldn’t sleep.” You scooted closer to him as he lifted his arm to wrap around your shoulder before running his hand comfortingly over the baby’s head. 

“My girls can’t sleep? Oh no.”, he whispers in soft voice that makes her smile as her little eye lids start to droop. 

“Eddie, I didn’t know what else to do. Steve deserves this. He’s done so much and worked so hard…it infuriates me that his father doesn’t recognize that.”

“I know, baby. Your heart was in the right place but when it comes to things like this…that’s between him and them.”

“Why are you people awake?”, Steve sighs sleepily as he comes into the living room. 

“Princess woke up and since mommy couldn’t sleep, she’s been keeping her company.”

“Well, she seems to be asleep now. I can take her—”

“Naw, man. I got her. You two need to talk anyway.” Eddie carefully slides Aurora out of your grasp and heads up the stairs to put her back in her crib. 

Steve promptly takes over his place, putting his arm around you as well.

“I’m sorry. I really was just trying to help.”

A heavy sigh leaves his chest before he abruptly grips your waist and puts you on his lap facing him. 

“I know, honey. I wish you would have talked to me first and we could have come up with a game plan or something.”

“Are you going to send it back to her? I swear I only asked her for the small amount that we couldn’t come up with and even offered to pay her back.”

“Hm. I spoke with your son today. He seems to agree with you, that in the long run me finishing school will help us all. He’s a smart kid, ya know?”

“Yeah. Where did the time go? 8 years ago, he was a baby like Ro and now…”

Steve nodded as he cupped your face in his palms and brought your lips to his. 

“Oh, good. We’re all happy again.” Eddie bounces down the stairs with a smile. 

“Hey, baby. Can you hand me that light blue envelope on the counter?” He does as you ask before plopping his body down next you both. “I got this today but with everything going on I thought I should wait to show you guys. Read it, Ed.”

The metalhead carefully pulls the papers out of their confinement and silently reads the contents to himself. 

“What is it, Munson?”

“Um…fucking hell…just seeing it in print…like this…”, his voice cracks as he tries to continue. “Sorry. It says that the process of Y/N changing her last name is complete. She… she’s officially Y/N Munson-Harrington.”

Steve wrapped his arms around you, hugging you tightly to his chest. You smiled into the kiss he planted on your lips, reaching for Eddie so he could do the same. 

“I just have to update my license and stuff but I can start officially using it now.”

“Y/N Munson-Harrington. You were right, Eddie. It does flow better.” The man grins as he brings your lips down to his again. As your tongue caresses his, your hips start to grind against the gradually growing bulge in his shorts. “Wait, wait, wait, baby. Fuck. What if…Dylan hears us.”

“We’ll have to be quiet then.”, you smirk down at him as his fingers dig into your waist.

“Let’s…let’s go upstairs.”

“Steve, please. It’s been so long.” You reach for his hand and slide it between your legs under your own shorts making his breathing catch in his throat when he feels how wet you are. “I need you both now. Please.” 

His eyes flutter closed as his mouth attaches to your neck while you turn to find Eddie who was palming his own bulge through his boxers as he watched you both. Without moving your arms from his shoulders, you adjust your legs so Steve can slide down your shorts and toss them to the side. You hold the cotton blocking your sex to the side as you watch him guide his cock into your entrance. 

“God, yes, Steve.” You moan as you continue to grind your hips. 

He gently smiles as he licks his lips, hugging your body to his chest as he slides towards the edge of the couch. “So beautiful, honey. Mmm… Mrs. Munson-Harrington.” Steve’s hips thrust up to meet yours and you keen into his neck to cover the moan that wants to escape. 

It had been a while since the three of you were sexually intimate and feeling him inside you again felt like brand new euphoric experience. Not just because of the way he felt physically but because after your daughter was born you saw this new side to him; to both of them. 

They had always been good fathers to Dylan but to see the way they were with Aurora and you during your pregnancy till now… you would never be able to properly express how much the love you had for them was. 

Your fingers tangled in his hair as you came. Steve guided your hips with his hands, pumping into you till he grunted into your neck and released his seed inside of you. 

When you were finally able to open your eyes, you were met with Eddie’s beautiful brown ones as he looked over your sweaty face before reaching with his hand to wipe your forehead. 

You can’t help but giggle. “I told you it was a parent thing…being a human napkin.”

He grinned as he reached for you and climbed off of Steve to sit on the other man’s lap, your back to his chest. His lips tenderly traced your shoulder up to your cheek, meeting your lips as his hand floated down to grip his length and run the tip through your soaking folds.

“Are you ready for me, sweetheart?”, he whispers. 

You nod, pressing your nose to the side of his face as he maneuvers his cock into your core. His arms wrap around your stomach and you place your own over his as you hold his hand, panting against his cheek as delivers slow but firm thrusts. 

“That feels so good, Eddie.”, you whimper and he moans in response. “Make—mmm—make me cum again, baby. Please.”

“You, f-fuck, you keep talking to me like that and…I won’t last. I could…barely hold myself together—mmm—watching you two.”

You delicately trail tiny kisses along his jaw line, tilting your head so your lips can hover over his ear. “Make me cum, Eddie. Please. Please. It felt so good when my pussy clung to Steve. I want to feel it gripping you as you fill me up.”

“Jesus Christ… Steve…can you…?”

Eddie pumps into you harder as you roll your hips, biting down on your lip when you feel Steve’s fingers press fast circles into your clit. 

You stumble over the edge, moaning his name into his neck as you cum. With a few more sloppy thrusts, Eddie’s arms squeeze you tighter to him as he warms your insides with his release. 

You groan as he pulls out, lifting slightly to tuck himself back into his boxers before adjusting you in his arms and rising to his feet. He and Steve exchange a few words you barely hear as your heavy eye lids start to fall. 

A pleasant sigh leaves your lips when you feel your body being placed on the soft mattress before the room darkens further and you are suddenly incased in warmth. Steve’s arm wraps around your waist, taking your hand in his as he pulls you closer. Eddie reaches for your other palm, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead as you nuzzle your face into his chest.

##############

“Hey, mom.”, Steve greets her with a startled tone as he opens his front door. “What, uh, what are you doing here?”

“I just…thought I’d come by…check in.”

Aurora starts to cry from the living room as if sensing her dad is no longer there. “Yeah, um, come in. Come in. Give me one second.” He continues talking to her as he hurries towards his daughter. “Y/N is having lunch with her sister and Eddie is at work so I have the kiddos.”

Dylan smiles politely at her as he glances at Steve who flashes him a reassuring smile of his own. “This little one has been having a rough morning.” He bounces the baby in his arms as he smooths down her hair.

Mrs. Harrington gradually makes her way over to him, reaching out to tickle her side. Aurora sighs as she crashes her body into the woman, wrapping her arms around her neck. 

“Whoa!”

“It’s okay, Steve.”, she grins as she pats Ro’s back. “You did the same thing. Every time a new face entered the house, you would practically headbutt them as if that was your way of saying hello.”

Steve’s eyes follow her as she takes a seat beside Dylan who turns his body to face her. “She likes to kick a lot to especially to Eddie’s music!”

Mrs. Harrington laughs making her son smile. “Has she started rolling over yet?”

“Kind of. She tries but then falls back on her butt.”

“Oh! That’s ok. Once she figures it out, crawling will be next and you’ll be running all over this house trying to catch her!” Dylan giggles as she leans closer to him. “Steve used to crawl into his father’s office and drool over everything.”

Your son makes a disgusted face as Steve sticks out his tongue. After taking a seat beside her, Aurora coos as she reaches her hand out to touch the woman’s cheeks. 

“She’s been doing that a lot to, pretty much since she was born. She loves pulling on Eddie’s hair.”

“Probably trying to get a feel of what her hair will be like.” Her eyes meet his as she softly smiles knowingly. “Those grabby hands are going to get worse so you may want to tell him to keep his hair up.”

Steve extends his arm around his mother’s shoulder, pulling her to his chest as he hugs her. 

###############

@adequate-superstar @kalinaselennespeaks @luna-munson83

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@katie-tibo @marsupiooo @local-stoner-bitch

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@3rriberri @sashaphantomhive @chelebelletx @big-ope-vibes

@munsonzzgf

[bengiyo]

Don't Care for an Old Man's Underwear! Ep 7 Stray Thoughts

This watch made possible in thanks to @isaksbestpillow.

Last time, Makoto wanted to make up for what happened at the BBQ where he outed Madoka, and eventually had a really touching conversation with them in the park. Kakeru bonded more with Hasegawa, and had a meaningful conversation with his rival at a makeup tutorial. The focus of the episode was on Mika feeling like the family takes her for granted, and how the misogyny of her era kept her out of the workforce and pursuing a career in publishing that she was excited about. The family came together and got Mika tickets for her favorite boy band in a scene that made me cry.

It's a real relief to see Kakeru hanging around the family again.

Already getting emotional about Kakeru finding a school he wants to attend and recommitting to his high school degree. The trust he has in his mom and sister means so much to me.

That they're also willing to worry about the things that made Kakeru flee school with Makoto is a sign of how far he's come.

Oh fuck I forgot about the old creep that got moved to their team. He's awful. I like him as a character in this show. Makoto was trained by men like him, and it means a lot that he's turning away from that.

Aww the girls loved Kakeru's smile.

Well, Makoto finally got invited to lunch, but at what cost?

Okay, it's funny that they all got his standard lunch.

I am so rooting for Hasegawa to be Kakeru's friend.

I really like the way the girls treat Kakeru.

Uh oh, it's the rival again.

Oh, Makoto, don't just assume things. You're going to embarrass yourself again.

Madoka being a very good vet-in-training adds a good layer to his story.

Makoto, what did I say about making stuff up. This conversation was so awkward and off-base, but he's sorta right? Great comedy with Maki and Moe.

Yes, time for a walk with Carlos.

Incredible editing to go from Makoto flubbing with Kakeru, to having a good dad conversation about how Madoka is allowed to make his own choices and choose Daichi, to Makoto realizing again how he's taken Mika for granted.

28,000 yen for two tickets in the modern era is not terrible.

Oh, Mika doesn't seem happy about the price for the tickets.

This bra scene was also fantastic. I wanna see how shocking this old man into submission goes.

I do love this response to being asked about his sexuality. "I'm not sure who I might like yet," is a valid response. I like that Hasegawa framed this as an appreciation for Kakeru's strength or character because Hasegawa usually caves to peer pressure.

Don't let me down, Hasegawa!

I totally get Mika, but I'm glad that Makoto insisted that she still use the tickets and enjoy herself. This works well from what Igarashi said earlier, and it's something Makoto has needed to say for a long time.

Oh no. They're about to miss the hint that Kakeru isn't dating snyone.

Oof, there it is.

That's the big part about being queer that this show understands: the misplaced assumptions about you. Hasegawa did well earlier, as did the girls, because they responded to his energy. The girls saw that Kakeru didn't want to talk about the baseball club and left it alone. Hasegawa asked a direct question, accepted Kakeru's answer, and gave genuine appreciation for what that answer confirmed for him. His parents really mean well when they say they'll support whoever he likes, but they assumed he liked someone at all. Back in my Koisenu Futari feels. This also works well with the work stuff, where they're going to torment that old man with his own presumptions.

[aita-irl]

Aita for not going to my best friend's birthday?

I (19) am working. I'm working half hours in the morning and half in the afternoon

Recently my schedule just changes at whatever and today I didn't even know my times

Last week I got the 3-11 shift for two days in order to cover the day offs my coworkers had

On the 3rd day I was working 7-3 (cause it's Saturday and they need me cause it's a busy day)

So. For 3 days straight I hadn't properly eaten anything just 2 toasts and on Saturday I was with 4-5 hours of sleep

I was exhausted. Hungry and in need of sleep

My friend(F19) had made a group chat the day before and told us she was inviting us for her birthday

Now the thing is, her birthday was actually last Tuesday not Saturday

Monday night we 3 (her and our other best friend (F18) we are a trio) met, and 18 had planned a surprise

As soon as the day changed at 12:00 she brought a cake and we surprised her

It wasn't big but we were there

Now when she wanted to do it on Saturday again I was exhausted

And I texted her and told her I would not be able to make it cause I was exhausted

She said "It's fine it's not like I'll force you to come if you're tired" and I apologized but I was dead I could not go I would just ruin the mood if I had gone and I was just miserable

And it wasn't like it was a big birthday party we would be five persons in total and she said we were going for a drink or something

Apparently while I was sleeping her mom called my mom

And her mom was really mad

"my daughter has been there for her, how dare she not come? You only celebrate your friend's birthday once! And last time she didn't go out with them and went with you what is this " and stuff like that

* recently I went out for food with my mom and her coworkers instead of a drink with the girls and I guess they're mad about this too

And like. I thought she understood, I explained?

And also the "you only celebrate your friend's birthday once" is just wrong cause we already celebrated her birthday on the actual date I had no idea she was planning to invite us 5 days later

And I was planning on taking a day off on her actual birthday but didn't cause I'm planning to leave work earlier and didn't want any day offs for the month

Oof

Also, this is unrelated but they basically forgot my birthday. This was months ago and I never mentioned anything cause in the end they did call me(15-20 minutes before my birthday ended, so technically they wished me?) but for the whole day I was feeling shity cause I thought they forgot

And knowing them they probably did

But it's ok

I just? I never said anything about this, we surprised her on her actual birthday and when I'm this close to dying from exhaustion my mom gets yelled at about me?

Like I understand it's her day

But I'm exhausted

I explained it to her

Am I the asshole?