#//cue my childhood 8 years ago

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

[roguehqs]

𝒄𝒐𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆 ⸻ 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐲𝐩𝐬𝐨 . . .

⌕   . ˚   ⅋.  「   jung hoyeon. thirty. cis woman. she/her/hers.  」 kang min-ji was recruited as a phantom for the libertalia nine years ago and was given the codename: calypso for their devoted but indignant behavior, typical for the scorpio. while preparing for a heist they listen to she’s my collar by gorillaz and don’t dare to leave without their most trusted item: a golden choker necklace centered with an uncut ruby.

hi, hello ! my name is lauryn and i use she/her/hers as pronouns. i'm twenty-three and i'm currently in the cst timezone ! below i have an expanded tldr for min-ji, and a massive biography linked at the way bottom if you'd like to know more ! i know introductions can be overwhelming, so i tried to condense info as much as i could ! to try and make matters a little easier, i've also linked a connections page below that has some ideas. thanks in advance and i'm so excited to be writing with everyone !

BACKGROUND . . .

[ ! ] TRIGGER WARNING : child neglect, poverty, theft, burglary & robberies, legal system

⸻ ┊ 0 0 1  ›  min-ji was born in fort pierce, florida. her parents were basically mariners and weren't prepared for a kid, financially or otherwise. to keep the family afloat, her parents worked a lot and min-ji was often left in the care of others. this left min-ji with little surveillance and a lot of independence from a young age.

⸻ ┊ 0 0 2  ›  grew up around lots of water and learned not to make a ruckus. quietly acted out by stealing, which she got really good at doing. sadly, min-ji had to really be the one to look out for herself in her childhood. she became very sneaky as a result, and loved to see what she could get away with.

⸻ ┊ 0 0 3  ›  her desire to figure things out and trick the public culminated in reading mystery novels and lock picking. she snuck off to the port a lot and was more conspicuous but had less surveillance as she got older. min-ji also made a friend! his name was mateo

⸻ ┊ 0 0 4  ›  cue heartfelt tale of childhood friends with similar circumstances and interests. then, min-ji and mateo started doing delinquent stuff and spent a lot of time at the port. eventually, they met william jr, an older teen who did boat tours. BAM get rich quick scheme: find blackbeard's treasure

⸻ ┊ 0 0 5  ›  william sr got in on this and what started out as a dumb idea actually got super serious (tons of context and logistics in the biography + a heck of an adventure story) eventually, the group took off to north carolina after min-ji graduated.

⸻ ┊ 0 0 6  ›  they eventually found blackbeard's treasure on portsmouth island following a wild adventure where each member had a specific role. min-ji's role was mostly gathering funds in the early stages by illegal means, and later getting the group through difficult places without getting spotted.

⸻ ┊ 0 0 7  ›  north carolina laws say you can't keep treasure, so they stashed some away for themselves and fenced/laundered it through a shady lawyer that also represented them in their legal case to have a legal claim on the treasure that they left behind. the other three members of the group were pretty hellbent on having some notoriety from their finding and doing the right thing which is why they didn't take it all for themselves... min-ji, not so much

⸻ ┊ 0 0 8  ›  after this, the group went their separate ways and min-ji felt abandoned. she began committing robberies out of bitterness and playing that old childhood game of how much can she get away with, and it turns out... a lot. but she was lonely and sad. the group lost their legal battle and edward teach's treasure was left in possession of the state of north carolina.

⸻ ┊ 0 0 9  ›  at that point, the group reunited for a drink and min-ji admitted to her recent criminal activities. she was chastised for it and the wills + mateo admitted that they parted ways because they had trouble dealing with the guilt and fear that came from their stolen treasure and subsequent criminal activities. min-ji seemed to seek out these situations and she was angry at them, and angry at the system that failed her.

⸻ ┊ 0 1 0  ›  the day after the case was settled, she was recruited for the libertalia (age 21). she accepted within a day after being given assurances of the legitimacy of the group. min-ji joined because she wanted to belong and feel valued and use her talents. she missed being a part of something. and she was good at what she did!

⸻ ┊ 0 1 1 ›  in the nine years since then, min-ji has really grown up. she enjoys being a part of the group and thrives in her position. a mentor took her under their wing and really honed her skills. her strengths lie in gear-oriented things like climbing, as well as traversing security-heavy, cramped, or difficult to navigate paths undetected. she is happier nowadays, naturally charismatic and playful. min-ji can be soft spoken before you get to know her. has a reputation for scaring people by sneaking up on them and messing with people when she's bored. she is a sneaky (kinda manipulative) gal and a wonderful ally, but a horrible enemy to have.

PERSONALITY . . .

⸻ ┊ 0 0 1 › min-ji is a menace. they’re destructive and often don’t have the best moral compass, so they tend to do things for themselves or those that they’re loyal to. she can also come off as a little angsty at times. she has a narrow world view in the way that people that don’t matter to her, they don’t matter at all. her childhood was rocky and involved absent parents, and all she really wants is to fit in. the libertalia has been a dream in that regard, and min-ji is fully devoted to the group as a whole, and its members. if you ever need to hide a body, she’s your gal.

⸻ ┊ 0 0 2 › when she does find people that she cares about, min-ji is compassionate and doting. she will often act playful and easygoing around familiar faces. while min-ji may have bad intentions as a whole, her intentions when it comes to her friends are pure and wholesome. her kindness is highly selective. though a lot of her socializing is often about what she can get out of it, she tries to make sure others have their needs met as well. in a way, people are just entertainment to her, but they are necessary in order to keep her content and relatively well behaved.

⸻ ┊ 0 0 3 › min-ji’s demeanor can change depending on who she is interacting with. if she isn’t familiar with them, she is more likely to be standoffish. min-ji can also come off as a little weird, as she isn’t afraid to speak her mind or act how she would like to. sometimes this involves pranking or scaring people for her own amusement. she possesses a confidence and self-awareness that has led to a strong knowledge of her own identity. as a result, tearing her down or trying to manipulate her isn’t likely to work. min-ji, herself, can be incredibly manipulative, and enjoys messing with people and making them squirm.

biography. statistics. headcanons. playlist. wanted connections.

[redzeverin]

[ Servamp x 07-Ghost ] 

All of a sudden, the 07-Ghost topic came back up and I can’t help but think of this XD. I’m rereading the manga right now too so... //sobs/

Here we have the main duo, Teito Klein, with his reincarnated friend-turned pink fluffy dragon, Mikage,  and Frau with his Ghost form Zehel. On the other side we have the steadfast sunshine boi Mahiru Shirota holding kitty Kuro, and human Kuro himself with his black demon. To top it off, we have Ayanami and Tsubaki making the big moves on them too~!

I know it’s a rushed work lol but I just wanted to finish this anyways! (my coloring RIP xD) And for the love of Zehel, precious boys must be protected at all cost!!! ;;w;;) 

[lovelykhaleesiii]

Newcomer: Chapter 2

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x fem!Reader

Words: 2.3k 

Summary: The Outer Banks was a place you’d only heard of until recently. The unfolding changes in your life had led you to this very moment, and it appears you still have much to learn... 

Warnings: swearing, (***) minor time jumps 

A/N - sorry for the delay, had a huge assignment due and work <3 I know this is a slow ass start to the series, but trust I’m trying to build momentum LMAO 

It had been just over a week, and seemingly still trying to settle in. Majority of your belongings, clothes and other sentiments have now been unpacked and neatly placed away in their new space, although you felt the hardest part wasn’t over just yet. Yourself, Caleb and Anya still struggled to find your way around town, mostly succumbing to the help of Topper, who despite initially being ever so welcoming, had grown slightly agitated from the coercion of having to always help. He’d be dragged out of whatever event or plans he had made, just to help out, especially during the grueling days of the unpacking stages of moving. Not to mention the not so discrete argument you’d overheard, just a few days ago, that he had with his mother, complaining about not being able to enjoy his own summer break. 

You couldn’t deny that your presence did somewhat impede on his break, therefore, the guilt was there. You knew you’d have to start taking on some accountability, with or without Topper’s help. 

“Y/N, can we just run to the store real quick, I need to grab a few things and you know how hopeless I am with directions…Please, come with, or else I’ll have to get Topper and we both know how much he loves-”

“Yeah, yeah-”

With a reluctant sigh, you tagged the page you’d just turned over in your book and propped yourself off the bed, adjusting your midi skirt before nodding in agreement. 

One of the most convenient things about the Outer Banks was that nearly everything was within walking distance. It gave you a chance to explore the scenic landscape and water front, and perhaps even chat with a few of the locals you hadn’t yet properly met. 

“So, how are things looking with that JJ guy? He seems pretty cute,” You intrigued, nudging your sister’s shoulder into conversation. 

“Yeah he’s great actually, he's a really funny guy. He, uhm, he wants to meet but-” 

“But what, Anya? That’s exciting! We sure could do with someone else’s company that isn’t Topper.” 

“Yeah, I know but, I, well we, don’t really know him that well. Who’s to say he isn’t some sociopath, Y/N.”

“I highly doubt anyone around here is a psychopath, Anya. Look around, this is a place people come around to relax or retire.”

“Don’t speak too soon, Y/N…”

For some odd reason, you hesitated in a response. Anya was right, you had no familiarity with the people of Outer Banks, although it just seemed like an outrageous place for crime. Ever since arriving, you felt some unexplainable ease here. 

“But I mean yeah sure. I’ll probably meet up with JJ some time… In public though, and you need to promise me that you’ll be on the lookout. Not like you’re busy with any plans at the moment, huh,” Anya remarks, as you appeasingly roll your eyes: God she could be so paranoid. 

“Yeah, yeah. I promise. Think we turn right up ahead-”

Continuing right on the pathway, you could just faintly decipher the movement of people bustling in and out of the stores, and with that a wave of relief settled over you. Seemed like you knew your way around after all, having doubts along each turn of the walk.  

“Make this quick, Anya, the sun’s starting to set, okay.”

“Whatever, Mum!” Anya quips, before rushing off into the convenience store, leaving your lonesome self outside waiting. 

You watched the crowd across the street at the diner, enjoying their dinner, as you observed the locals in action, contemplating who was who, as you heard Evelyn exchange many names with your father over endless dinner conversations. 

One name that stuck by you was “Cameron.” 

Evelyn mentioned it countless of times, although you’d simply assumed they were one of the many well-known families that had established themselves in town. There wasn’t much else you knew, or wanted to know. You hardly met anyone else outside of the house, nor were you in any rush to. 

“Hey!-”

Instantly snapping from your extensive thoughts, the familiar voice dragged you back to reality, as you turned your sight to its direction. 

“It’s Y/N, right? Anya’s sister! It’s me, JJ, the waiter-”

“Yeah, of course, I remember you-”

As formal and proper as your manners from childhood were, just as you’d gone in for a handshake, JJ wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in warmly for a friendly embrace, before letting you go. 

It had caught you off-guard, although not at all in a distasteful way. 

“How are you? How’s Anya?” He asked, folding his arms as he leant against the wooden post of the front deck. 

“Yeah we’re good! I’m sure Anya’s kept you posted, we’ve pretty much moved in now. How about you? I haven't seen you around.” 

“Yeah, I’ve been pretty good! Oh that’s great to hear, that would mean you guys are free to come to the Boneyard tonight!” 

“The what?”

“The Boneyard? Where we have this party with a kegger, Topper didn’t tell you?” 

By the puzzled expression reeked across your face, JJ knew to take that as an immediate no, not questioning it any further. 

“Well if you’d like, I could meet with you guys later and escort you there myself. There’s a few friends of mine I’d like to introduce you guys to.” 

“Yeah, sure. That would be lovely, JJ-” 

And as perfect as the timing could get, Anya returned from her little store run, stunned by JJ’s unexpected presence. 

“Anya- I was just telling Y/N, I’d love to take you guys out tonight to the Boneyard, I was going to text you about it before, but something with my Dad-” 

“That’s fine, but we just don’t know where exactly the Boneyard is.”

“That’s okay, JJ’s got us covered,” You exclaimed, before exchanging a friendly wink to JJ who just managed to catch it.

***

“You texted JJ our address right?” You persisted, growing anxious by the thought that perhaps JJ might’ve forgotten about you two. 

“Yes, for the last time Y/N could you just relax. He should be here any minute now!” 

And just on cue, in the close distance, the roaring sound of an old engine with dull headlights belonging to one of those old, retro “hippie” vans had pulled up through your drive-way. JJ’s head popped out excitedly by the window, waving for you guys to join, and immediately you both walked over. 

It was difficult to convince your father of going out tonight, in fact, he’d been pestering you both to get out and mingle. As soon as you’d both approached him with the idea of heading out to some party, he leaped with relief, and encouraged you both to take up the offer. He was easy going like that, trusted you both knowing how well he’d raised you both. Of course, he covered some basic ground-rules: no drinking, no drugs, no smoking. 

By the time you’d both arrived to the van, you could just make out the silhouettes of some figures inside the van through the grimey windows. JJ was out of the van, as the courteous man that he was, pulling the side door right open. 

“John B-” Pointing to the boy on the driver’s seat, who gave you a friendly wave, made himself known. 

“Kie-” A lovely, young girl, exchanged a gracious smile and nod to both Anya and yourself, before JJ finally introduced “And this is Pope-”, a young, pleasant man sat beside Kie. 

“Guys this is Anya, and her older sister Y/N. They just moved here like a week ago.” 

“Nice to meet you all, thanks for letting us join you guys tonight-” You warmly proclaimed, before gesturing Anya into the van with you following her behind. 

As JJ was carefully closing the door behind you, John B mentioned how JJ spoke of you two, confessing you to be the “mystery newcomers” before kindly welcoming you to the Outer Banks. 

You felt Kie’s over gaze fall between yourself and Anya, and felt somewhat intimidated, although it there was no threatening intent to it, however more of a protective sentiment. 

“So you guys are Kooks, huh?” Kie blatantly questioned, before Pope nudged his elbow into her, as though to signal her to stop whatever interrogation she had planned. 

“Sorry, what?”- Anya questioned in response, frowning as she looked around the van, back to you.

“Kie, stop. They don’t know about any of that stuff. Just drop it, okay!” JJ insisted, as he ran his fingers through his blonde locks, almost in frustration. 

“We really have no idea what this whole Pogue-Kook business is, but perhaps you could enlighten us one day, Kie-” You suggested, as amiable as possible, not wanting to already cross the line with the few locals you’d just met. 

“I sure will, I just can’t believe you guys live with Topper. He’s such an-”

“Ass?-” Anya intervened, finishing off Kie’s sentence precisely the way she intended, making Kie smile in agreement. 

“Yeah, I don’t think he likes us very much,” Anya confessed, and as much as you hated “gossiping”, you couldn’t deny this one. 

“Well Kie, you’re on to talk… What about your Kook year?” John B laughingly mocked, as Kie infuriatingly shoved his shoulder. 

“S-So what exactly is the difference between a Pogue and a Kook?” You intriguingly questioned, shifting your gaze from Kie to Pope. 

“Well, to put it short, Pogues live on the Cut, which I assume Topper would rather die than enter. Whereas yourselves and our Kie here, live on Figure 8,” Pope answered.

“So it’s just a social class thing?” You quipped, being reminded again of how very unprogressive things were around the Outer Banks. 

“Exactly!-” Kie shouted, a hint of relief, as though finally finding someone who’d shared mutual understanding with her cause. 

“I mean there’s more to it-” JJ added.

“But it’s best if you guys don’t get as involved, your only just new here-” He calmly reassured.

“Just keep an eye out for the Kooks, they usually come to these sort of events anyways for the booze they can’t afford-” Kie ridiculed. 

“Yeah, especially Rafe-” Pope uttered, his tone reeking of bitterness to the name. 

“Wait-Who exactly is that? The name just sounds familiar-” You brush off, not wanting to vex Pope any further. 

“Good God, he’s the worst of the worst-” Pope scorned. 

“An asshole-” Kie provoked. 

“He’s the older brother of Sarah Cameron, I’m sure you’ve met her. She’s Topper’s girlfriend,” John B confessed.

“HA! Topper has a girlfriend, since when?!” Anya broke out mockingly laughing: as Kie and JJ chuckled to her comedic outburst. 

“He must be that bad, huh?” You uttered, as the rest began to settle themselves. 

“He’s a terrible person, Y/N. If I was you guys, I’d avoid him at all costs,-” Pope insisted, although by the seriousness of his voice, it seemed more of a warning than anything. 

***

The Boneyard was a secluded location of the island, where the ashy white trunks of dead logs were arranged in a way to accompany large crowds, and rowdy parties far from the complaints of the adults. As you’d all arrived, kegs ready at the hand, the party had already commenced, as people from which John B described had consisted of Pogues, Kook and tourists. Regardless, all strangers to you. 

As you finally eased yourself into that party mood, you found yourself enjoying the company of the Pogues, they were quite the friendly bunch. And it seemed ANya was letting loose as well, no thanks to her new-found companions: it always seemed like an impossible mission for Anya to enjoy herself, although witnessing her from the standpoint of a bystander, you felt comforted. 

“I’m just going to go grab myself a drink-” You assured John B, as he nodded in agreement. 

As you crammed yourself through the crowd, you felt a tight grip pulling on your elbow, making you topple in the direction of whomever it was that grabbed you. 

“Topper, what the fuck?”

“How the hell did you get here, let alone find out about this?” He exclaimed, by the faint smell of the beer oozing with each breath, you could tell he was slowly becoming intoxicated.

“No thanks to you-” You snapped, before jolting your arm out of his strained grip. 

“Seriously, Y/N. Does your Dad even know you’re here?”

Before you could even respond, some sort of internal sixth sense, felt an intense pair of eyes on you. As you shifted your gaze, to a bunch of people standing behind Topper, you’d immediately recognised his face. 

For some odd reason you felt a shiver crawl down your spine, as though in fright of seeing some ghostly figure. His intense, blue eyes just fixated on you and only you, as he took sips of his drink, with one hand snugged away in a front pocket. It seemed he was in conversation with a bunch of other guys, all dressed quite similarly to one another in their polo shirts and summer shorts, and yet he was not at all engaged... Only to you.  

“Earth to Y/N!” Topper loudly interjected, stirring you to snap back, as you fixed your view on him. 

“Y-Yes, yes he does. Now could you just let me be?” 

And before you knew it, you instinctively stormed off, before Topper had the chance to drunkenly question you any longer. As you disappeared into the crowd, heading for the kegger, your mind persisted in contemplation. 

That was Rafe, surely. You vividly remembered the whole, minor incident during your first encounter with him. 

After what the Pogues had confessed about him, and by his looming nature, you’d never felt so unnerved by someone, you’d in fact, never even met.

But why?

TAGLIST - @juliep7654 @foggybanditgardenprune​

[mish-tique]

my dumbass forgot that i had this in the drafts instead of the cue - but the sweetest @shippingaddictbaby and @thethirteenthcrow tagged me so here we go

How many stories did you publish?

51 works - which is a lot more than I thought i'd ever write in one year.

What is your total word count for this year?

146k in total, which is mind-blowing. It does however exclude all the unfinished and unpublished works because I only started using ohwrite like a month ago because Rarsa used it.

What fandoms did you write this year?

For Bridgerton (3 works) I wrote Daphne/Simon. For fate: the winx saga (1 work) I finally let my childhood ship come true and wrote Bloom/Riven (even though I never finished that one). One stray piece for Men's football (Barcelona) got published as a gift for a friend. Another random piece got written for the Wings series by Aprilynne Pike.

I wrote 38 works for Formula 1 with a huge list of ships, but mostly tagged were: 4433, maxiel, maxierre and carlando. Also I managed to post 8 works for Genshin Impact, which featured a multitude of ships but mostly kazulumi!

Did you write more, less or roughly around what you expected you would?

A lot more - it's roughly 75% of the words I ever published on ao3 and I've been on there since 2017. Especially since I wrote nothing in 2020.

Which story did you write in 2021 are you most proud of?

It's hard to say, I love what covered in you with Zhalia brought me, as it resulted in much more than just a story. No one there to shame me for my youth was such an amazing way to experiment with writing mature stuff and I love how much confidence it gave me. I just hate the way I miss you (and the way it hits me at night) was a personal favorite because it felt like a banger to end the year with and it was so much fun to experiment with the just-texting-and-nothing-more way of writing.

Did you take any writing risks this year?

Oh yeah, I did! I barely wrote smut before this year, only here and there, it was something I struggled a lot with which is strange to look back at. It took a pretty wild turn for the Genshin Impact works in which I did a lot of dead dove: do not eat content.

Also, maybe strange to others but for me writing a fic with Zhalia was pretty risky - I've never written with anyone before and I had no idea how it would go but it ended up going so well! So glad I took that risk.

Do you have any fanfiction goals for 2022?

I actually want to do a lot more post race pack fics for formula 1! It kind of got forgotten during the shitshow of the 2021 season but I do like the whole idea of it so I might try it again for the 2022 season.

Next to that I signed up for some things and I really hope I can make a masterpiece out of that one!

What is your most under-appreciated story?

I would say 'Cause you still feel like home (and I can't let you go) - if you'd ask me I think I scared too many people away with the summary of it. It doesn't feel like the right representation and I've considered redoing the summary, but it wouldn't change things whoops

Biggest fanfiction related disappointment of 2021?

The fact that I still haven't finished plotting and writing two shots of sugar please . Also the fact that I didn't write more in general for the sweet as sugar series.

Biggest fanfiction related surprise of 2021?

The fact that I had no writer's block all year long? I normally get them a lot and for long periods but this year I know how to channel any emotion into productivity. My 2021 motto lowkey became "if you're in a mood at least make sure it's a productive one"

Biggest fanfiction fans of 2021?

I think it's hard to name people because I think everyone I interacted with impacted the way I wrote or saw my fanfiction in a different way.

I can't thank everyone from the genshin impact on here because everyone was from twitter and I deleted my account there but I got to thank them for letting me explore my creative freedom!

@thetwelfthcrow was amazing to me, made the writing progress so much fun, starting from covered in you but not ending after that. managed to make a lot of good memories with them while writing. @shippingaddictbaby because we started with just talking about hair and now we're tackling each other to sprint together and come through with the funniest stuff at the strangest time. @coconutshygame was such a sweetheart during the Instagram dm fics phase and the support i received was heartwarming and made the writing progress so much fun. Don't want to forget how much i appreciate @fcb-mv33, @cinderhellas and @shelsgovroomvroom.

Every one of you made writing so much more fun, so much more than just words on paper, a whole experience and i feel like i grew so much during this year which is so much fun <3

If you're tagged, feel free to do it! if you're not tagged but still want to do it, feel free!

[mostlymovieswithmax]

Movies I watched in July

Once again I’m doing my monthly round-up of movies I’ve watched. This was a good month for the cinema getting back on track and seeing new releases including the new M. Night movie, Old and James Gunn’s The Suicide Squad. Pretty sure Marvel put out a new movie also. I’m hoping that this list can help in guiding a decision about what to watch (or what to avoid) and introduce people to movies they may otherwise not have heard of or bothered to see. These short reviews are my own subjective opinions on each individual movie and maybe a more informal approach to movie criticism can help include others who are just passing through. Here is every film I watched from the 1st to the 31st of July.

Bridesmaids (2011) - 4/10

Off to a good start. I won’t say Bridesmaids is a terrible movie but I don’t think I’m exactly the target audience. As far as I know, this is a beloved comedy but I just can’t get on board with all the boring, juvenile humour; with Maya Rudolph shitting in the street, with Rose Byrne and Kristen Wiig trying to one-up each other at a toast that went on forever, with Melissa McCarthy shitting in a sink… the conflict is so done to death and makes the movie feel unspecial. I do understand the appeal of the film, especially for women in that before this movie the likelihood of seeing something like this, where women play up the more crass and gross side of comedy, was probably few and far between. But the story is very tired and while I did appreciate some moments, namely a couple of decent jokes and some of the more intimate scenes, for the most part it felt like they wanted to corner a more quiet type of line delivery in a way that was supposed to be understated but very funny so as to not rely on over the top body language or musical cues, and it ended up being super dull.

Spectre (2015) - 7/10

As far as I can tell, a lot of people don’t like this instalment of the James Bond franchise… but I really enjoyed it! I’ve really taken a shine to these Daniel Craig-era Bond movies and while I can’t say any of them are the most amazing thing, I have a lot of fun with them. The biggest problem I have with Spectre is the villain being utterly pointless and uninteresting in basically every way. The idea of every villain Bond has fought before being tied to this one organisation controlled by this one guy is ridiculous, and what makes it worse is that the villain is barely in it! There’s so much that doesn’t come together in this but as it goes, I still had a really good time. Daniel Craig holds the whole thing together; he is excellent as 007 and the main reason I’m up for each of these movies is because of him. Sam Mendes directs again after the previous instalment and for what it’s worth I do think he does a good job with some of the action set pieces and the locations. I’m so ready for No Time To Die.

Shazam (2019) - 7/10

Shazam is a genuinely fun superhero movie that doesn’t take itself seriously at all. I was having a great time throughout and while it could conform to some of the same tropes we’re used to with these kinds of movies, it still remained playful and used the character of Shazam to his fullest potential in a way that showed an understanding of just how silly the idea of a kid who can turn into an adult and shoot lightning out of his hands is.

High School Musical (2006) - 6/10

So as you may or may not know, I co-host a podcast: The Sunday Movie Marathon. It’s a film podcast and every week I get together with my other co-hosts and watch movies. For episode 38, we watched the High School Musical trilogy. This first movie blew me away. I was really surprised with just how much fun I had, and if you want to hear more of my thoughts on the film, please listen to episode 38 of the podcast.

High School Musical 2 (2007) - 4/10

We then jumped into the second and while it’s certainly not as good as its predecessor, there are still some brilliant songs that manage to top the last movie. Again, more of what I have to say can be heard on episode 38 of the podcast.

High School Musical 3: Senior Year (2008) - 3/10

Senior Year was pretty hard to get through. I don’t remember it being as bad as it was, but then I didn’t really remember it anyway. It did however have one redeeming quality, which you can discover on episode 38 of the podcast.

The Piano Teacher (2001) - 9/10

What the fuuuckkkk. The Piano Teacher is horrendously affecting and I was so upset when it ended, maybe not because it’s not what I wanted but because it’s just so fucking dour and unrelenting. This is the second Haneke movie I’ve seen (after the original Funny Games) and I’m so impressed with how well executed it is. Following a woman who teaches piano, we get a glimpse into the life she lives, how sheltered she is from living with her mother at an age where you’d reasonably expect a person to be living alone or with a partner or friends (even going so far as to be sleeping in the same bed as her), and how repressed she is sexually. It’s clear she’s never experienced any kind of sexual interaction or romantic love with another person, so she goes out of her way to take control and make that happen. The upsetting nature of it comes from just what she does in pursuit of it or as a result of her repression, and what is done to her. It is by no means a movie to recommend to your parents but The Piano Teacher offers so much in terms of the ideas it presents (and I’ll admit there seems to be a lot more going on than I think I picked up on a first go round) about women in modern society, and about the portrayal of sex and expectations of people when it comes to how that is represented in a person’s character depending on their gender. I really enjoyed this movie but it is not for the faint of heart.

Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure (2011) - 1/10

My podcast co-hosts decided it’d be a right laugh to add Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure to this episode and that might have been a fun idea for them because they got to watch it together, but I was just watching it alone. Just a 24-year-old man watching Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure alone and having a miserable time, I might add. But for a short and sweet ramble on what we all thought, please listen to episode 38 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast.

Dr. No (1962) - 6/10

A lot of very iffy parts of this movie. A lot of discomfort arising from how black people are portrayed that really didn’t sit right with me. As far as a Bond movie goes, this first instalment in the series is one I’ve seen before and it’s not wholly engaging but it plants the seeds for the rest, with Sean Connery breathing life into the role and making an otherwise lacklustre plot bearable.

Black Widow (2021) - 6/10

I think probably the best part about Black Widow is the experience I had while watching it. It was great being back in the cinema with a couple of friends in a packed theatre. The energy was high and I’m sure for a lot of people, this is the first time they’d been to the cinema since Endgame. For what it’s worth, I did have a lot of fun with Black Widow and I’ve explained more of what I thought about the movie in episode 39 of the podcast.

The Climb (2020) - 10/10

The Climb was added to Now TV recently and I already knew I loved it, having seen it in an empty cinema theatre last year, which I had an absolute blast with. The Climb details the years of a rocky friendship told over scenes filmed as one-shots. Not only is the presentation something to gawk at, but the performances by the two leads playing these friends with a terrifically dysfunctional dynamic is truly captivating. They’re both trying to figure out their own lives and where one can come across as being rather selfish, the opposite is true in his counterpart, whom everyone loves. This is a truly funny and heartwarming movie with a lot to say about how we choose to live our lives and who we choose to be with. It’s a shame the distributors of The Climb didn’t do a very good job because if not for it being available on Now TV, it would be near impossible to watch without forking out more money than is necessary to purchase a film.

From Russia With Love (1963) - 5/10

The second Bond movie. I thought perhaps I’d change my mind on it with another watch, having seen it for the first time maybe a year ago. But no, it’s still largely boring and it treats women like absolute garbage. From Russia With Love is one of those movies I forget as I watch it, and I was trying very hard (in the middle of the day!) not to fall asleep.

The Good, The Bart, and The Loki (2021) - 1/10

I don't usually talk about the short films I watch but for this I'll make an exception. As we all should know, Disney owns The Simpsons now, through their acquisition of Fox, so, coupled with another of their properties, that being Marvel, they decided to make a six-minute animated film wherein Marvel’s Loki is stranded in Springfield. This felt as though it was a minute long due to the horrendously jarring pacing; it is a movie that feels adamant that it needs to exist, while trying as hard as it can to be over as soon as possible. It serves only to stare the audience directly in the face and say “look, characters from The Simpsons are dressed as Avengers”, shit out three credit scenes, then end before you’ve even processed the atrocity you just bore witness to.

Russian Ark (2002) - 8/10

For this next episode of the podcast, we watched a few Russian movies, starting with Russian Ark, a film shot completely in one take as the camera moves about a luxurious museum in a first-person perspective as this main character watches what is happening around him, seeing people moving about the place but unable to interact with them, guided only by another man who seems to be just slightly out of his own perception of reality. This is a tremendous feat in filmmaking and more can be heard about what I have to say in episode 39 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast.

Ivan’s Childhood (1962) - 7/10

For my own pick of Russian movies to discuss on the podcast, I chose the debut feature from one of my favourite directors, Andrei Tarkovsky. It’s amazing that while this is not his best film by far, Ivan’s Childhood is still such a stellar debut, jumping around in its timeline as it details a child’s experience in the second world war. Again, I do go into more depth in episode 39 of the podcast, so be sure to check that out.

Outlaw (2019) - 1/10

The third movie chosen for this marathon is apparently the fourth Russian LGBTQ+ movie ever made. I’m unsure of the ultimate goal of this movie but what seems to be clear is that it hates the LGBTQ+ community. This is perhaps the worst film we’ve discussed on the podcast to date, so listen to episode 39 to understand exactly why it’s such trash.

Almost Famous (2000) - 7/10

I too love heavy music and also studied journalism so it stands to reason that a movie about a teenager who makes his way onto a band tour, following them through America and interviewing them as they hang out and play shows is going to be a premise that resonates with me. This certainly did. I enjoyed Almost Famous a lot; this kid is living the dream and I was so along for the ride, seeing a lot of myself in what was being portrayed. That said, the story itself is at times a bit by the numbers and I really would’ve been more on board if the visual component was more interesting. For what it is, technically it’s fine enough but nothing in that department ever jumped out at me.

Minari (2021) - 8/10

It’s crazy that this didn’t get a theatrical run where I live in the UK. It feels as though I complain about film distribution all the time but I really don’t understand the process by which a movie gets no cinematic release and yet, months later will pop up on the front shelf of hmv, taking pride of place. But of course I got the blu-ray straight away. Minari has a lot to say about the immigrant experience, specifically in America as a family comes over from Korea and tries to start a business and make something of themselves. You get to see a lot of what you might not think twice about when you think about immigration: the hardship of coming from a place where you know everyone to somewhere rural and sparsely populated, having to make friends with locals and integrate within the community; the strain it can put on a family and on a marriage where this idea is presented about the importance of making it on your own in order to live and not just survive, while also taking into account why you’re doing it in the first place and the value you place on being part of a family that you decided to make because that was more important than money, than economy, than proving you were good enough to make it in a place that gave you very little advantage from the offset. This concept of the promised land, of the American dream is a construct. There are times when it’s not pretty, when you have no running water, or you’re in debt, or a family member is dying and it just feels like you’ve been dealt as bad a hand as you can get. But it is better to know you’re not facing all that alone.

Roma (2018) - 10/10

This was my recommendation for the podcast episode on Alfonso Cuarón movies. Roma is as beautiful as it is heart-wrenching and I would recommend listening to episode 40 of the podcast to find out more about my thoughts.

An American Werewolf In London (1981) - 8/10

In all fairness, London is enough to make anyone a little crazy at the best of times. An American Werewolf in London showcases some fantastically grotesque effects, akin to something like Carpenter’s The Thing, in showing the dead brought back to life and a horrifically gory transformation scene. Although the film is from the perspective of an American protagonist, directed also by an American, the depiction of British culture and climate is something I’ve not seen many films pull off quite so well, and I was pleasantly surprised at the more comedic tone the film has overall, which is something that works more in its favour than straight horror would.

The Party’s Just Beginning (2018) - 6/10

Karen Gillan’s directorial debut is… pretty good! There are a lot of ideas I like in this movie: a woman living life and through convenient circumstances, is confronted with death in many ways. Gillan obviously knows her homeland as well as she can, imbuing the whole thing with an intensely Scottish vibe (though maybe not in the same vein as something like Trainspotting) that makes it a bit more unique than a more run of the mill movie of this ilk, backed up in no small part by her own main performance. The plot itself is no great diversion from the kind of story I’m used to with these smaller movies and for something that’s trying to include messaging about transgender issues and suicide, it probably could have been handled better or done in a different way.

Solaris (1972) - 9/10

Another Tarkovsky joint, one I thought I’d revisit to see if there was indeed more to get out of it a second time. Well, it’s no surprise that yes, there was certainly more to get out of it. Solaris is a crazy trip of a movie and I would liken it to Kubrick’s 2001 in terms of how grand the scale of it feels. Yet this is a film that comes across as deeply personal, choosing to focus on a specific character as he goes to a space station to help those on board who are experiencing some kind of emotional crises, only to feel the effects of the planet, Solaris invading his own mind as it has the crew. To many, I can see this lengthy Russian sci-fi being a tad slow but my personal experience is one of deep engagement. Solaris pulls its viewer in a lot of different directions and it is always doing something unexpected in terms of where its narrative goes. There’s a lot to think about with the movie and thankfully it’s no chore to watch again.

Y Tu Mamá También (2001) - 9/10

Another recommendation for the podcast episode on Alfonso Cuarón movies. This is a very relaxed experience, following three young people as they go on a road trip, visit different places and have sex. Listen to episode 40 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast for more of my thoughts.

Children of Men (2006) - 10/10

My favourite Cuarón movie, one that never stops being tense as its characters are constantly moving towards the end goal. Set in a future where humans are infertile, the oldest living person is 18, and London is the last city in the world that’s still keeping it together, somewhat. This is masterclass filmmaking. Listen to episode 40 of the podcast for more insights.

Minority Report (2002) - 5/10

I’m really not the biggest fan of Spielberg… Minority Report is an interesting movie in terms of its concept of stopping crimes before they happen by way of prediction, but I just didn’t connect with the heart of it. The colouring is way too overexposed in a way that’s supposed to be eliciting a futuristic vibe but instead feels so early-2000’s in the worst way. My biggest problem with Minority Report is just how long it is, clocking in at two hours and twenty-five minutes which allows for a lot of meandering, all while never quite developing characters enough for you to care about.

Caché (2005) - 9/10

Oh god! Another Michael Haneke movie! Here we see a couple periodically sent video tapes featuring hours of footage of the outside of their house. The anxiety ratchets up and the mystery gets deeper with every minute. There’s always at least one moment in any of his films that have so far made me realise just how out of my depth I am. Caché is no exception, and I won’t spoil anything here because I think it’s better just to watch the movie and see for yourself. He is a director that wants the audience to know something and that something is never what is explicitly shown at face value; it is pressed into the fabric of the film - plainly evident, yet hidden. Caché is so stupidly clever in displaying its themes and messaging - making reference to the Siene Massacre of 1961 as well as a deeper study of colonialism - and there’s no way to change a single detail of it without risking the Jenga tower crumbling to the ground. It all works in tandem. It is passion and fury and haunting.

Coco (2017) - 7/10

Pixar had a string of around seven forgettable movies before this point so thankfully Coco emerged to show the company still had something good in them. Coco deals a lot with themes of death and legacy, remembering those who are gone in order to preserve them and while its plotting is quite basic and there are certainly moments that either drag or cannot escape the same Pixar formula, most of what the movie has to offer is a lot of fun, with creative, colourful animation and emotional beats that resonate the way they’re supposed to.

Incredibles 2 (2018) - 5/10

Oh, they almost had it! There's a lot here that could have been explored in far more interesting ways. Setting Incredibles 2 directly after the events of the first movie was not a good idea. If it had taken place five or ten years after, the characters could have been in different places in life and it would feel as though they'd actually changed and developed. But instead of trying to be a film that actually cares about its characters and the journeys they go on, a lot of the film is wrestling with the idea that Bob isn't supportive of his wife and Jack-Jack has to fight a raccoon… They have to shoehorn in a villain that in no way compares to the genius of the original. The ending of the original introduces another antagonist that gets wrapped up within this film's first ten minutes, except they don't catch him and he's never mentioned again. It's a real shame because the animation is fantastic and the acting is superb and there are great ideas sprinkled throughout. It just doesn't come together.

Toy Story 4 (2019) - 6/10

I was rather reluctant to watch Toy Story 4 because from the get-go I’m not really here for sequels being made just for the sake of it. Everyone loves Toy Story and making another one is a sure fire way to make money. This is the first time I’ve seen Toy Story 4 and for what it’s worth, I did enjoy it. The animation is immaculate and that alone feels like a huge flex from Pixar who tend to step up the game when it comes to animation in film, despite not having the best track record for films generally at this point. While it was nice to see these characters again, I found a lot of them to be side-lined (namely Buzz) in favour of a story that focuses mainly or entirely on Woody, who I just don’t like as much as in the previous movies. Generally the movie is good and decent enough but there’s no real antagonist and the plot is quite loose… it doesn’t feel as though it needed to be made from a story point of view.

Onward (2020) - 6/10

And with that I have seen every Pixar movie. And Onward is a fine one to go out on. While I don’t think it compares to the likes of earlier Pixar it’s still pretty fun. Or maybe I’m just a sucker for a medieval setting filled with bright colours and magic! Speaking of which, the animation was super and the medieval quest element is something that hooked me with the film. Again, plot-wise it does feel very familiar and I don’t know, maybe I’m past the point now of expecting Pixar to mix it up where their formula for story-telling is concerned but the movie is quite predictable. Nonetheless, while I’m not rushing back to see Onward I would hardly turn it off or refuse if someone wanted to watch it.

Old (2021) - 3/10

Oh boy! New M. Night movie dropped and my word, was it fun! For more of my thoughts on this… masterpiece (?) of a movie, please direct your attention to episode 41 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast.

T2 Trainspotting (2017) - 5/10

Trainspotting is perhaps one of my favourite movies and I had never bothered with the sequel, 20 years on, because the ending of that first movie is so conclusive. T2 felt more an excuse for these guys to get together again and in that, I probably would have preferred a couple of pictures on Twitter of the main cast and director, Danny Boyle having dinner or something. This is a fine movie - very arty in its presentation but meandering and dull in its story that doesn’t offer much in the way of proof that it had to exist.

Taste of Cherry (1997) - 9/10

What makes life worth living? This is a central question and theme of Taste of Cherry, and one that leaves such interpretation not only up to its central character but to the viewer as well. This film got me thinking about times in my life when I truly have had no answer to hard questions. Because it’s hard to convince people of things they are so adamantly against and harder still to rationalise what you believe if you’re not even entirely sure why you believe it in the first place. We are all of us alive and in recognising that, does that make it precious? And if indeed living is not a happy thing, why then should we fight so hard to preserve it? I felt upset as I watched this movie because I’ve been asked these kinds of questions before and it makes me feel stupid when I’m unable to answer. But the only real answer I can give is, everything. And if you can’t see the point then you’re not looking hard enough. Taste of Cherry is beautiful in its exploration of these topics and in its overall presentation, offering some of the best visuals in any movie I’ve seen - fitting for a feature with so much to say about the beauty of life - and an ending that as much pulls the rug out from under you as it does pull you out of the dark and make you realise just how lonely you’ve felt.

Bones (2001) - 2/10

Snoop Dogg is Jimmy Bones! This film is super funny but I’m not sure it’s trying to be and I really didn’t love it overall. But I do talk more in depth about it in episode 41 of the podcast.

The Duchess (2008) - 5/10

Another recommendation for the podcast. The Duchess was pretty much exactly what I thought it was going to be and there’s a lot to like about it but generally it’s a bit sparse. For more chat on the movie, listen to episode 41 of the podcast.

The Man With One Red Shoe (1985) - 1/10

This was another one for the podcast and man, was it awful. We had to watch it at 1.5x speed towards the end because it just wasn’t getting finished otherwise. To find out more, make sure to listen to episode 41 of the podcast.

The Emperor’s New Groove (2000) - 7/10

Pull the lever, Kronk! Haha! Slays me. I do quite miss this era of Disney, where the animation was hand-drawn and the stories were actually compelling and funny. The Emperor’s New Groove is vibrant, it’s got great characters and memorable moments that will forever be ingrained in the memory of culture. All in all, it’s just a solid flick that doesn’t waste time, developing the standard fall from glory type of arc but smoothly and in an entertaining way.

The Suicide Squad (2021) - 8/10

Oh, bloody hell! They actually made a good one! The Suicide Squad is not only better than the ‘Suicide Squad’ of 2016 in every way, it’s a genuinely great film! This time, James Gunn (director of Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy movies) is at the helm and it seems clear that Warner Bros. basically let him do what he wanted with the movie, as it doesn’t seem to bog itself down with the restrictions of a more family-friendly rating. The result of this is a far cleaner, colourful film with a clearer vision that takes from early Vietnam movies and uses that style to craft a superhero/villain movie that differentiates itself among the copious amount of existing films of the genre.      The Suicide Squad wastes very little time, introducing fun, crazy characters we’ve not seen on the big screen before and isn’t worried about killing a whole bunch of them, with standouts being Elba’s Bloodsport, Melchior’s Ratcatcher 2, Stallone’s King Shark (expertly rendered with fantastic visual effects), and Robbie’s returning interpretation of Harley Quinn.      A lot of Gunn’s trademark sense of humour is laced throughout and more often than not, it hits. The audience at the cinema were truly loving this movie and I’ll admit, I was right there with them. This mix of the gritty, gory and absurd is not something that should work as well as it does but the basic premise of the film is already so silly (and boy, do they know it) that it just works! Certainly one of the best DC movies since The Dark Knight and one I’d be more than happy to watch again. This is what the modern comic book movie should be: just balls to the wall fun!

[jasontoddiefor]

Fanfic Patterns

Tagged by @elysian-prince and @binaryeclipse thank you :D

Rules: DON’T REBLOG THIS ONE, MAKE A NEW POST! List the first lines of the last ten (10) stories you published. Look to see any patterns you notice yourself, and see if anyone else notices any. Then tag some friends.

1) red heels for your glass slippers It’s her size that makes her striking.

2) childhood immanence (have you heard?) Goa Kingdom is supposed to be the most beautiful country in all of East Blue and Shanks can’t think of anything duller to see.

3) monolatry of the angry (take blood now) Dragon does not fall in love as much as he falls into the raging sea, waves so high that they could easily smash their ship against the rock formations common in this part of North Blue.

4) Marine Grandfather Gets Vibe Checked By Teacup Pirate King “He doesn’t much look like Roger.”

5) this is not a place of worship (hold my drowning) They’re a crew of five when things start to go downhill.

6) turns again home Retirement suited Garp oddly well.

7) gratitude bragged loss Rayleigh had gotten used to taking cues from Shanks years ago, so when his son raised his head, snapping out of his previous drunken ramblings, Rayleigh sat his glass on the counter and waited.

8) squished fingers Rayleigh felt the tension bleed from his shoulders when he finally spotted the Piece of Spadille emerge on the horizon.

9) that summer when the sun didn't shine Standing at the cliff, the waves crashing into the rock below and the wind urging from above were nearly loud enough to swallow up the sound of a single voice ringing out.

10) setting sights and sails It had come to Penguin’s attention that the Captain wasn’t going to say anything, which usually meant that in his infinite wisdom, he either hadn’t realized the matter yet or was flat out in denial.

Oh boy here are my realizations:

one piece owns my soul

I tend to start with giving the central focus? Which, god, sounds so Writing Classes 101, but if you’re not vibing with my first sentence, the themes I’m gonna pick up from there won’t get any better

Apparently lots of “just toss the reader right into the situation” and usually by tying that to a place or a person.

I tag @ghostwriterofthemachine @nycis @darkmagyk and whoever else wants to do this

[jaethaone]

Time

Paring : Massimo x Reader

Word Count : 3,999

Prompts : 5 + 8 “There Is No Us, There Never Was” & “Shut Up” (Prompts In Bold)

Warnings : Other Than My Terrible Writing, Swearing , Attempt At Angst, Mentions of Cheating, Massimo Being A Dick

A/n : This Is A Request From @shusrealm , I’m Still Trying To Learn And Tap Into Massimos Character Which Is Why It Has Taken Me A Minute To Start Posting But I Hope You Like It . 💜

A/n 2: Translations Are From Google So Sorry For Anything That Is Incorrect And Little Flashbacks Are In Bold

Lyrics In The Story Are From The Song Time : From The Show Star

It’s Been Five Months

Since We’ve Had A Talk About Us

And We Went Our Separate Ways

“Yn You Don’t Honestly Believe Sulking Over This Guy Is Going To Change Anything Do You” London, Your Bestfriend Said Sitting At The Edge Of Your Bed

“No, But I Don’t Want To Do Anything Else So”

“It’s Been Five Months Since You’ve Been Back, You Haven’t Even Said Anything About What Happened”

“What Do You Want Me To Say” You Sighed Sitting Up In Your Bed “I Went To Sicily For What Was Supposed To Be A 3 Week Trip, But Ended Up Staying Longer Because I Met A Guy.. And Not Just Any Guy A Fucking Mafia Boss”

“No But I’m Your Bestfriend I Want You To Tell Me What Happened That Day Between You Two, I Want To Know The Reason My Bestfriend Has Been Locking Herself Away In Her Apartment Everyday For Five Months Doing Nothing Other Than The Occasional Grocery Shopping”

“I- I Just Feel So Stupid Ya Know” You Started To Explain .. Tears Already Lining The Rim Of Your Eyes As You Thought Back To That Day “So Naive To Think That What We Had .. That Everything Was Real”

“Sweetheart What Happen While You Were In Sicily” London Asked Climbing Next To You In Your Bed

“I Fell In Love .. But Of Course .. He Didn’t ”

But It Feels Like Yesterday

Since You Took My Heart In Your Hand

And You May Never Bring It Back No

They Say That Time Heals All Your Wounds

But I Don’t Know If That’s True, Oh, True

Because It Still Hurts

It Still Hurts, When I Think About You

Five Months Ago - Sicily

“I Never Knew You Could Cook Like This Yn” Domenico Said Tasting The Sauce You Had Cooking On The Stove

“Thank You , But Honestly It’s Just Following The Recipe”

“No, There’s A Difference Between Following A Recipe And Following A Recipe But Clearly Putting Your Own Twist To It” Dom Said Sitting On One Of The Chairs Near The Island “Massimo Is Going To Love It”

“Well I Couldn’t Of Pulled This Off Without You Dom.. Thank You Again For Telling Me Some Of His Favorite Dishes He Loved To Eat” You Said As You Were Walking Back And Fourth Between The Stove To The Refrigerator Then Back To The Stove “And For Picking Up The Groceries For Me”

“It Was My Pleasure Yn”

“Okay .. Everything’s Done In Here” You Said Taking Off The Apron You Were Wearing “I Need You To Do One More Thing For Me Domenico”

“Anything”

“Mas Is Going To Be Back Soon , And I Still Have To Get Cleaned Up, So If You Don’t Mind, Could You Or Anyone Else Set Up The Table For Me” You Said As You Started To Walk Out If The Kitchen

“Of Course Yn” Domenico Yelled As You Disappeared Behind The Wall

Massimo Was Coming Back From One Of His Business Trips Today And You Decided It Would Be Nice For The Two Of You To Sit And Have A Nice Home Cooked Dinner, With Some Of His Favorite Childhood Dishes, Courtesy Of Domenico. When You Asked Him About It He Told You He Would Give The List Of Foods To The Chef To Make But You Insisted That You Wanted To Cook The Meal Yourself, A Way Of Showing Massimo How Much You Care About Him.

It Wasn’t Anything Too Fancy Just A Simple Dinner For The Both Of You To Unwind. Things Have Been A Little Tense And Hectic For Mas These Last Two Weeks And You Just Wanted Him To Relax A Little Bit.

———————————————————————-

It Was Now Going On 8 And Massimo Should Be Back At The House Any Minute Now . After You We’re Done Cooking You Had Dom Set Up Everything And Made Sure Everything Was Ready To Be Taking Out To The Table Once You And Mas Sat Down, While You Went And Freshened Up.

You Decided On Nothing Too Fancy, A Cute Black Skater Dress That Stopped Mid Thigh, The Back Out And Showed Not To Much But Just Enough Cleavage. For Your Hair You Went With A Cute Sleek Low Ponytail And A Light Natural Look For Your Makeup With A Nude Lip . By The Time You Were Done, It Was Almost 9:30 .. A Little Late You Thought But It’s Okay, As Long As Everything Went Okay And The Night Was Still Enjoyable. You Had Informed Domenico To Lead Massimo To The Set Up Table In The Back Once He Arrived And Then You Would Be Down Shortly . Since It Was Already 9:30 You Knew You Were Running Behind Schedule So You Hurriedly Made Your Way To The Back Where Everything Was.

“I Am So Sorry I Had You Sitting Out Here, My Makeup Up Took A Little Longer Than Expected” You Were Saying As You Were Rounding The Corner To The Table But Stopped Once You Saw Nobody There .

“Hm , So I Guess I’m Not The Only One Late” You Said As You Went To Sit Down At The Table “Let Me Call Him”

You Pulled Your Phone Out And Clicked On Mas Name Hearing It Ring A Couple Of Times Before It Went To Voice Mail

“You’ve  Massimo Torricelli, If You’re Hearing This I Am Busy Or Handling Business Right Now So Leave A Message After The Tone .. Hai raggiunto Massimo Torricelli, se stai ascoltando questo sono occupato o sto gestendo affari in questo momento, quindi lascia un messaggio dopo il ”

Sighing You Left A Message “Hey Mas Just Checking To Make Sure Everything Is Okay, And To See That You Landed Safely, Call Me Once You Hear This, Cant Wait To See You” Hanging Up Your Phone And Sitting It Down You Reached For The Bottle Of Wine That Was Sitting In The Bucket Of Ice On The Table Pouring You What You Feel Is Going To Be A Much Needed Glass.

3 Hours, 6 Unanswered Phone Calls, And 1 Empty Bottle A Wine Later, It’s 12:30am And You’re Beyond Pissed Off Now. So You Told The Chef To Clean Everything Up And Decided To Call It A Night . Domenico Left A Little Bit Over An Hour Ago To “Go Meet Massimo” But He Hasn’t Been Back Yet, And He’s Not Answering Any Calls Either . So Much For A Nice Quiet Dinner With The Man That You Love.

That’s Really What This Night Was About, You Met Massimo Almost A Year Ago When You Were On Vacation And To Say Opposites Attract Would Be An Understatement. What Was Supposed To Be Only A One Night Thing Turned Into So Much More . After That One Night You And Mas Were Enamored By Each other. And One Night Turned Into Multiple, Which Then Turned Into Him Asking You To Stay A Little Bit Longer.

“rimanere” Massimo Said As The Two Of You Were Laying In Bed , You Tracing The Small Tattoo On His Chest

“You Know I Don’t Know Italian Like That Mas” You Laughed Out Looking Up At Him As If Asking Him To Repeat Himself But In English

“Stay” He Said Sitting Up Causing You To Sit Up Too Pulling The Cover Up To Cover Your Chest “Stay Here With Me A Little While Longer”

“I Can’t.. My Vacation Is Only 3 Weeks Long Which Ends In Two Days.. And Even If I Wanted To Stay I Don’t Have Any Clothes”

“I’ll Buy You More , What Ever You Need Or Want I Got You Baby Girl” He Said Taking Your Hand Kissing The Back Back Of It

What Started Off As You Only Staying For A Month And No More Than That, Turned Into Two, Then Three, Then Mas Eventually Asking You To Stay With Him Permanently. You Were Skeptical At First But He Convinced You In More Ways Than One That Night That You Were The One He Wanted To Be With, And That He’d Do Anything For You.

Over The Course Of The Last Year You’ve Spent With Massimo You Know Without A Doubt You’ve Fallen In Love With Him, And Even Thought You Both Haven’t Said Those Three Words To Each other Yet, You Know He Feels The Same. Or At Least You Did, These Last Few Weeks Has Had You Questioning A Lot Of Things, Which Is Why This Dinner Was So Important For You. You Felt It Was Finally Time To Tell Him That You Loved Him .. With Every Fiber Of Your Being .

———————————————————————

Once You Woke Up The Next Morning You Instinctively Rolled Over To The Other Side Of The Bed, Only To Open Your Eyes And See That Massimo Wasn't In Bed. In Fact His Side Was Still Made Which Means That He Either Didn’t Come Back At All Last Night Or Didn’t Bother Coming To Bed . No Matter Which One Happened They Both Still Hurt.

After Stretching You Got Up And Went About With Your Daily Morning Routine . Deciding You Wanted To Dress Comfortable Today You Through On One Of Massimo Button Down Shirts That You Love To Wear And Some Black Leggings And Made Your Way Out To The Back Where The Chef Usually Had Breakfast Waiting.

As The Table Came Into View You Noticed Domenico First Then You Saw Mario Sitting Down, Then You Saw Massimo Sitting There. There Were Having What Sounded Like A Serious Discussion And Domenico Was About To Speak Until He Saw You Walking Up, Then He Stopped Talking.

“No Don’t Stop On My Behalf” You Said As You Pulled Out The Chair Next To Massimo “Continue” You Said Looking At Him .. And If Looks Could Kill , He’d Be Dead Right Now

Both Mario And Domenico Picked Up On The Arising Tension In The Air And Decided That That Was Their Cue To Leave “Goodmorning Principessa” Domenico Said As He Got Up From The Table “Mas” He Said Walking Away With Mario Following Leaving You And Massimo There Alone . You Waited Until They Were Out Of Ears Rang Before You Started Your Interrogation

“Well Goodmorning To You Too” You Said Picking Up A Piece Of Fruit Trying To Keep Your Voice As Calm As Possible Even Though You Felt Like You Were About To Explode With Anger

“Morning”

“Morning” You Repeated In A Voice Trying To Sound Like Him “Morning Is All You Have To Say? Not Even A Morning Baby Girl .. What Happen Yesterday .. More Importantly, Why Didn’t You Answer None Of My Calls”

“Let’s Not Start Love.. I Was Busy” Massimo Said As He Grabbed His Phone That Since You Sat Down As Been Going Off Non Stop

“BUSY .. He Was Busy” You Laughed “To Busy To The Point That You Couldn’t Even Shoot Me A Text And Say Hey Baby I’m Handling Something Right Now.. Don’t Wait Up.. Like Damn You Had Me Out Here Waiting For Your Ass For 3 Fucking Hours”

Grabbing Your Arm, Massimo Pulled You Close To Him So You Could Hear Him Better Because He’s Never Really One To Raise His Voice “Okay 1.. I Don’t Know Who You Think You Are But You Are Not About To Sit Up Here And Raise Your Voice To Me, And 2.. I’m The Boss Of All This Shit I Do What I Want When I Want Without Nobody’s Consent.. I Don’t Have To Call And Tell You Shit Capire (Understand) ” Letting Your Arm Go He Sat Back In His Chair And Pulled Out His Phone Again .

Him And This Damn Phone, You Were Getting Tired Of It, It’s Never Went Off This Much Business Or Not, And All Of His Important Contacts Always Called , Never Texted Him.

“Okay First Of You Not About To Sit Up Here And Talk To Me Like That” You Said “And Secondly I Deserve To Fucking Know Because I’m Your Fucking Girlfriend And Because I Fucking Love You, I Spent Hours Making Multiple Of Your Favorite Dishes Dom Said You Loved To Eat Before Just So We Could Have A Nice Night Together To Relax, Only For You To Fucking Not Come Home And Not Answer My Calls, And You Want To Sit Here And Basically Spit In My Face And Say You Don’t Care” You Said Standing Up Over Massimo Realizing That He’s Not Even Paying Attention To You, But Rather His Phone That Keeps Going Off

“And Who The Fuck Is It That Has All Your Attention Right Now That You Can’t Even Look At Me” You Said Snatching His Phone Out Of His Hand And Stepping Away From Him And The Table To Give You Time To Look And What You Seen Completely Shattered Your Heart . On The Screen Was Messages Between Massimo And Some Girl Named Mina, Pictures Of The Girl Sent To Massimo, And Even Pictures Of Mas Sent To Her. Pictures Even You Don’t Get When He’s Going For Long Periods Of Time

They Say You Can’t Sing The Blues

Until You Got Your Heart Broken In Two

Well I Can Sing The Blues

A Million Times Plus Two

“Wa- Who Is Mina .. And Why Was Last Night Such A Good Time” You Asked Questions You Already Knew The Answer To As Tears Started To Build In Your Eyes “Is This Why You Didn’t Come Home Last Night, Why You Couldn’t Answer None Of My Calls”

“Don’t You Dare Snatch Nothing Away From Me Like That Again Ever In Your Life O-“ Massimo Started To Say Walking Back Up To You Snatching His Phone Back

“Or What Mas .. You Gonna Hurt Me?” You Said Tears Falling Already “ Because It’s To Late For That.”

“sta 'zitto” Massimo Said Turning Around And Starting To Walk Away” You’re Over Reacting”

“What ??”

He Stopped To Turn And Face You Again “I Said Shut Up, You’re Over Reacting”

“Excuse Me !!” You Yelled .. Anger Now On A 100 “I’m Over Reacting .. You Over Here Fucking And Sexting This Bitch And You Tell Me I’m Over Reacting”

If You Were Being Honest With Yourself You Didn’t Imagine That This Was The Conversation You’d Be Having With Massimo. Yes You Was Upset With Him About Last Night And You Were Going To Talk To Him About It , You Just Didn’t Expect Everything To Take A Turn For The Worst .

“I Can’t Believe You” You Said A Little Quieter That Before “How Could You”

“What?” He Asked Looking At You, And The Look He Had In His Eyes Was So Unrecognizable, So Different From The Deep Hazel Brown Eyes That You Loved Waking Up Too Every Morning

“How Could You Do This .. T- To Us”

“Us ??” He Questioned As He Laughed A Laugh That Sent Shivers Down Your Spine, One That Was Going To Haunt Your Dreams Every Night “There Is No Us, There Never Was”

“W-What” You Stuttered Back, Voice No Higher Than A Whisper, So Quiet That You Weren’t Even Sure He Heard You But He Did . If Your Heart Wasn’t Broken Before, It Sure As Hell Is Now

And The Heartbreak, Heartbreak

Comes Right After The Heartache

“There Is No Us Sweetheart, This .. Between Us It Was Never Anything Serious, Just A Little Fun”

“Fun?” You Said As Tears Completely Covered Your Face Now “I Basically Dropped My Life Back In The States Just To Be With You, And The Only Thing This Was To You Was Fun?”

“Sorry To Break It To You Baby Girl” He Said Fixing The Cuffs On His Dress Shirt While Not Once Taking His Eyes Off Of You

“Well If All This Was, Was Fun Then I Guess There’s No Need For Me To Stay” You Said Attempting To Wipe Some Of The Tears That Were Still Falling But It Wasn’t Really Know Use

“No There Isn’t, Ill Get Domenico To Book You A Flight Back Home As Soon As Possible” He Said Starting To Walk Away But Before He Did He Said One Last Thing “I Want Everything I’ve Gotten You Since You Been Here .. But You Can Keep That Shirt, You’ve Ruined It Anyway” And With That He Walked Away Completely Leaving You To Wallow In Your Own Tears

———————————————————————

Somehow Massimo Managed To Get You A Flight That Same Day But You’re Not Really Surprised Anymore, It’s Massimo You’re Talking About, Anything He Wanted He Got, And Anything He Didn’t Want He Got Rid Of .. And Apparently That Was You

The Ride To The Airport Was To Say The Least Awkward. Domenico Offered To Ride With You To See That You Made It To Your Flight Safely But You Honestly Just Wanted To Be Alone . Starring Out Of The Window You Were Looking At The Beautiful Buildings You Were Going To Miss Because You Honestly Were Never Going To Step Foot In This Country Again .

So Much Was Going Through Your Head That You Didn’t Even Realize You Started Crying Again. Not Until Domenico Spoke

“Principessa ..” He Started But Then Stopped Not Knowing What To Say. But You Couldn’t Really Blame Him. Comforting A “Damsel In Distress” Wasn’t Really Apart Of His Job Description “Maybe Going Back Home Is For The Best.. This Life... This Life Isn’t The Type Of Life You Should Be Living”

“Did You Know” You Asked Looking At Him And Ignoring What He Just Said “You Know What Of Course You Knew.. Your His Bestfriend His Right Hand Man.. Damn I Feel So Fucking Stupid”

Domenico Just Sat There Trying To Figure Out The Right Thing To Say, But Every time He Opened His Mouth He Closed It Right Back Second Guessing His Words

“It May Hurt Now Principessa But Given Time It Will Get Better And You Will Forget All About Massimo, Like I Said It’s Probably For The Best” He Said Carefully Sitting His Hand On Your Knee As A Way To Comfort You

You Scoffed “Yeah .. Time”

———————————————————————

Present Time - Back At Your Apartment

They Say That Time Heals All Your Wounds

But I Don’t Know If That’s True

I Don’t Think That It’s True

Cause It Still Hurts, It Still Hurts

When I Think About You

Once You Finished Telling London What Happened You Both Were In Tears . Your Tears Because Even Though It’s Been Five Months Every time You Think About Him Or Anything That Reminds You Of Him, You Just Start Hurting All Over Again And London’s Tears Because Her Bestfriend Is Hurting And The Man That Caused It Is Still Breathing

“You Know I’m Trying .. I Truly Am” You Started To Say Through The Constant Sniffing That Was Going On “Some days I Really Do Feel Okay And Then There’s Others Where I Just Want My Bed To Swallow Me Alive”

You Got Up Out Of The Bed To Go Get Both Of You Some Tissue Instead Of Using The Covers And Your Hands When You Got Back To The Room Your Friends Was Walking Out Of Your Closet With A Cute Sleeveless Romper In Her Hand

“What Are You Doing” You Asked Sitting The Roll Of Tissue On Your Dresser

“It’s A Nice Day, The Suns Out Shining, No Clouds In The Sky.. Were Going Out And Enjoying This Day .. You Need Some Vitamin D Anyways” London Started To Say “Now Go Shower And Get Ready”

Not Even Wanting To Argue With Her Because She Always Gets Her Way You Just Complied Without Saying Anything. Once You We’re Out The Shower You Decided To Just Let Your Hair Flow Free, You Put On The Peach Colored Romper And Decided To Go Without Too Much Makeup This Time, Only Doing Your Eyebrows , Putting Some Lashes On And Some Clear Lipgloss.

“I Honestly Don’t See Why He Cheated Because Baby You Is Fine” London Said As You Walked Out Of The Bathroom Causing You To Laugh

“So .. Lets Get This Show On The Road Shall We” You Said Making Sure You Grabbed Your Purse, Phone, And Charger

“Yay Girls Day” London Said Skipping Out Of Your Room Making You Laugh Harder Because You Honestly Didn’t Know What You Were Going To Do With Her

——————————————————————-

You And London Spent The Whole Day Shopping, Walking Around Downtown, And Just Enjoying Each others Company. You All Decided To Go And Get Your Nails And Toes Done The Stopped For A Snack To East Before You Went Back To Shopping . At The End Of It All, You Both Decided To Have Dinner At This Restaurant Everyone Had Been Talking About “Maggiano’s” . You Were Hesitant At First Because You Were Honestly Having A Great Day And Didn’t Want To Go Down That Road Again Of Thinking About Massimo But London Insisted Stating “You’re Always Going To See Something That Reminds You Of Him, You Cant Let Him Take The Joy Out Of Your Life, You Have To Take Your Power Back .. Fuck Him” So Here You Are Having Dinner With Your Bestfriend And You Honestly See Why Everyone Hypes This Restaurant Up

“I Really Cant Thank You Enough For This London” You Said As You Took A Sip Of Your Wine

“Hey That’s What I’m Here For, I’m Your Bestfriend And I Will Always Be There For You Through Anything, And I Will Help You Get Through This, No Matter How Much Time It Takes” She Said As She Reached Across The Table To Grab Your Hand. Just As You Were About To Say Something The Waiter Walked Back Up To Your Table With A Bottle Of Wine And A Card In His Hand

“For You Ma’am” He Said Sitting The Bottle Down And Handing You The Card .. London Looked At You Confused But You Were Just As Confused

“I’m Sorry But We Didn’t Order This Bottle” You Said Hesitantly Taking The Card “There Must Be A Mistake

“Compliments Of The Restaurant” He Said As He Turned And Walked Away

“Well Shit I’m Not About To Turn Down A Free Bottle” London Said Grabbing It Off The Table While You Sat Looking At The Card .. This Feeling In The Back Of Your Mind Telling You Not To Open It But The Curiosity Getting The Best Of You .. As You Opened It The Beautiful Golden Calligraphy Writing On The Inside Made Your Heart Drop, And London Must Have Noticed Because She Reached Over Grabbing The Card And Looking At It, But Was Confused

“What Is This?” She Said Looking Up At You “Is This In Ita-“ But Before She Could Finish You Answered For Her Reciting The Contents Of The Card Like The Back Of Your Hand

“ Sei il mio sole, la mia luna e tutte le mie stelle”

If There Was Any One Word Or Phrase You Picked Up, And Gotten To Learn.. It Was This

“And What Does It Mean” London Asked Still Confused As Ever .. More So Because You Just Recited What Was In The Card So Perfectly

As You Started To Tell London What The Phrase Meant, You Heard Another Voice Coming Up From Behind You Saying The Same Thing. And In That Moment You Almost Died Because You Know That Voice Anywhere .

“ You are my sun, my moon, and all of my stars.” And As You Finished Telling London What The Card Said , He Came From Behind You Standing Next To The Table Still Looking As Good As You Last Remembered Him. For A Second You Couldn’t Find The Right Words To Say But Knowing You Had To Say Something You Said The Only Thing Your Mind Allowed You To Say, But Of Course In A Slight Whisper

“Mas..”

“Hello Babygirl”

“Holy Shit” London Said

Tag List : @nebulastarr

[slowly-writing]

Almost Lost You

Jennifer Jareau x Reader

Word count: 2.3K

Requested by: n/a

Warnings: canon typical violence

This case was stumping the entire team. The dump sites had seemingly no correlation, so Ried’s geographical profile was out the window. The MO was all over the place which made it hard to nail down a profile on the unsub. The only thing that proved these murders were connected was the flowers the unsub was leaving in the victim’s hand, and even with that you were beginning to question it all.

“Does anyone else feel like their brain is melting?” JJ groans and you feel inclined to agree.

“Your brain can’t actually melt. You could boil the water in your brain but the fatty tissues that make up the majority of it are harder to break down,” Spencer says and you smile, at least his facts are always consistent.

“That’s not what she means, Spence. It’s a metaphor. She means she’s tired of getting nowhere with the case and she feels like all the work is physically hurting her,” you explain and he nods in understanding, looking at JJ whose head is now laying on the table of the conference room the three of you have hunkered down in.

“Did you know it’s actually proven that fresh air can increase productivity and reduce stress?” Spencer pipes up again and you chuckle as you rise from your seat, grabbing JJ’s shoulders and coaxing her up.

“Good call doc. I think I’m gonna take her outside for a bit before she puts that brain melting theory to the test. You take a break too, alright? Even geniuses have a breaking point,” you wait until he agrees to stop for a bit to lead JJ outside.

“It just feels so messy. Like there’s no way to get through it all,” JJ has tears in her eyes as she looks up at you and your heart breaks at her obvious frustration. You often wonder how JJ got into a field like this, so painful and gruesome. She has such a tender heart, if you had met her outside of work you would’ve guessed she was a teacher, maybe a social worker, but certainly not a profiler whose job was to hunt down some of the worst people the world had to offer.

“I know it feels like this will never end, but it will. I promise it will, because we’re not going anywhere until we catch this creep. Hotch and Emily are interviewing the victim’s families again as we speak and Morgan and Rossi are at the crime scenes. They will all get us some more to work on and eventually we’ll nail this guy.”

“You promise?” JJ’s voice is soft and you can’t resist the urge to pull her into your arms, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

“I do. Are you ready to go back in?” JJ nods and you pull away, “then let’s go crack this case.”

xxxxx

“Rose Allen, Jessica Phillips, and Sara Parker have been found dead. Now I don’t know about you guys but I sure as hell don’t want a fourth name added to that list,” Morgan snaps, slamming his hand on the table. You all look up from your notes at the outburst, and none of you blame him. JJ grabs your hand under the table and it calms you both as tensions rise in the room.

“What do you think we’re doing here? None of us want this to go on. We’re trying our best,” Emily knuckles are turning white as she clenches her first.

“Okay let’s all calm down. If we all put our head together then we can crack this. So, the women disappear from their daily routines, they are gone for a week before being found in various locations with different causes of death. What does that tell us?” Hotch starts the discussion and everyone settles in to work.

“He’s obviously stalking them. He knows their routines and is able to grab them without anybody seeing,” Rossi is the first to join in and you nod along.

“And the manner of the killing isn’t important to him, as long as they die. With victim number one we have strangulation, then stabbing, and last dehydration. He doesn’t care how they die as long as he can see them suffer,” your brow is furrowed as you think out loud.

“The flowers obviously mean a lot to him, right? It’s the only consistency,” Emily jumps in and everyone voices their agreement.

“They’re yellow roses. Those symbolize friendship, maybe these women told him they just wanted to be friends?” JJ says and you think she’s onto something until Spencer speaks up.

“Historically yellow roses have a different meaning. Now they are known to symbolize friendship but they actually used to stand for infidelity or unfaithfulness. He could’ve had a childhood trauma involving an unfaithful individual that still haunts him,” Hotch perks up as Reid finishes.

“Rose and Jessica’s family members said they were having relationship troubles, Sara’s family didn’t have much to say, but with how hostile her fiancé was, I’d bet my career that their relationship was rocky,” the analysis makes sense, at least it’s a start.

“Okay, so we have an unsub targeting people whose relationships are failing. Considering he targeted the girls I’d guess they were the ones who were unfaithful, who would know if they were?” Rossi asks and you all think through the list.

“If it was me I’d only tell my closest friends,” you say and try not to wince at the way JJ’s head snaps to face you. “I’m speaking hypothetically of course. I’ve never cheated so I don’t know what it’s like in that situation. I can only make an educated guess on the thoughts and feelings the victims were having in the moment,” you stare ahead as you say it, nobody knows you and JJ are together, and this is not how you want them to find out. “That was a poor choice of words,” you say and Emily raises an eyebrow at you.

“Ignoring y/n’s over explanation of how she’s never cheated on anyone,” Emily says slowly and you avoid eye contact. “None of these women shared friends. Garcia couldn’t even find evidence that they knew each other, let alone had the same confidants.”

“When Will and I went through all that we went to a relationship counselor. Is it possible they saw the same one?” JJ asks and Garcia pipes up for the first time.

“I can have that answer in just a few moments,” the sound of a keyboard can be heard through the computer, “aha! According to their credit card records they all saw Dr. Damien who is a well renowned relationship counselor in the area. She was, however, out of state for a conference when Rose and Jessica’s bodies were found and did not return until after Sara was reported missing.”

“It could still be someone in her office. Receptionist, coworker, hell even a janitor,” Morgan seems as desperate as you all feel.

“I have a receptionist who was working during all three intake appointments, Jacob Daniels and-oh gosh-At age 8 his father murdered his mother, in the trial he claimed it was because she was cheating with the neighbor who denied the allegations. Regardless there was no family and Jacob bounced around the foster system until he aged out five years ago. Three months ago he landed a job in Dr. Damien’s office and within a month and a half the first murder was commited,” Garcia relays the information, her eyes wide.

“That would be the stressor. Hearing about the failing relationships was too much for Daniels and he snapped. Garcia, do you have an address?” Hotch asks as you all stand, grabbing your gear.

“Like you even have to ask. Be safe my lovelies,” Garcia tells you all as she ends the call.

xxxxx

“Jacob Daniels FBI! Open up!” Hotch yells as he bangs on the door. You hear a crash inside and Morgan takes that as his cue to kick open the door. You’re the first inside and Daniels freezes when he sees the guns trained on him. He may be damaged, but he knows he can’t outrun a bullet. Instead he grabs a knife and points it towards you.

“Stay back!” He yells and you raise your hands, holstering your gun before speaking.

“I just want to talk, Jacob. Can we do that?” you ask and you can see him shaking as he looks between you, Morgan, Hotch, and Ried. Everyone else is still en route.

“They needed to die,” Jacob starts and you blink in surprise as he jumps straight into it.

“Why?” he focuses more on you, relaxing despite the three guns still pointed at him. You inch forward as he begins to talk.

“They didn’t know how to love. No woman knows how to love!” He yells.

“Now that’s not a fair statement, plenty of women know what love is,” you say and you can hear the other team calling their ETA through the comms, but you’re hoping to have this wrapped up before the three minutes it will take them to get here are up.

“Do you? Know how to love? Do you have someone?” Jacob’s voice is soft, almost a whisper as he desperately tries to prove himself wrong. You’re only a few feet away now, and he’s slowly lowering the knife. If you can just get a few inches closer you can grab it.

“I do. She is the most important person in my life.” Out of the corner of your eye you can see the confusion on your team’s faces but you don’t have time to focus on them right now. “I can’t tell you why someone would cheat on the love of their life, but I can tell you I never would. A few bad people isn’t a reason to give up on love or life. They hurt people, but they didn’t hurt you Jacob,” his head snaps up and you quickly realize that was the wrong thing to say. He lunges for you and before anyone can get a shot off he has your back pressed to his chest and his knife to your throat.

“Woah calm down man!” Morgan yells, his panic alerting the rest of the team that this just went south.

“Let her go, Jacob,” Hotch’s words inform the team that he has you, the only female in the room. He doesn’t waver though, ever the calm one in the storm. You can hear the tires of the other SUV squealing to a stop outside. Lucky for you so can Daniels and you use his distraction to slam your eyebrow into his ribs. His grip on you loosens and you’re able to take him down. Morgan takes over, cuffing him as you feel a body slam into yours. JJ throws her arms around your neck and you wrap one arm around her waist, the other cradling her head as you let out a sigh of relief.

“I’m okay,” you tell her and she lets out a shaky breath before pulling away from you completely.

“You idiot!” she yells slapping your shoulder.

“Ow! What was that for?” your hand goes to the place she just smacked, though it didn't hurt much.

“Why would you get so close to him! He could’ve killed you!” She slaps your other shoulder and you groan.

“But he didn’t. I thought I could disarm him, but it's okay now. So can we just agree it was a dumb move and stop hitting me please?” you ask and JJ pulls you into a hug again. You wanna laugh at her conflicting emotions, but you know how scared she is.

“I almost lost you,” she whispers and you sigh.

“You didn’t. I know it was scary, but I’m okay.”

“I could hear the whole thing.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I promise that I’m okay. You didn’t lose me,” you tell her and she nods, pulling away again. The bubble the two of you have been in is popped as you both turn to see the whole team staring at you, Morgan apparently having passed Daniels off to local officers to make sure you were okay.

“How long has this been going on?” Morgan asks and you look to JJ.

“Six months?” you ask her and she nods. You turn back to the team and nod, “yeah, six months.”

“How did we not notice?” Rossi asks and you laugh.

“I was thinking the same thing. Some profilers you are,” JJ teases them but they all seem to be in too much shock to register it.

“So when you went on that rant about not cheating…” Emily trails off and you roll your eyes.

“Did seriously none of you notice how she was looking at me? I thought I was gonna be the next murder victim!” They all laugh and JJ looks at you.

“You ever cheat on me and you will be,” she says simply with her arm wrapped around your waist and a smile on her face.

“How do you say such aggressive things but look so cute doing it?” you ask, wrapping your arm around her shoulder and placing a kiss on the top of her head. “But I would never cheat on you, my love. I’d have to be an idiot to risk losing you. There’s nobody in the world I’d rather be with.”

“As cute as this is, I’m ready to get out of here,” Morgan teases and you roll your eyes.

“Let’s finish up here and we can talk more on the way home,” Hotch says and you all nod.

“And we know Garcia is gonna want all the details, I wouldn’t mind them either, so drinks when we get back?” Emily offers and you agree.

“Sounds like a plan.”

tag list: (let me know if you want to be added or taken off)

@rvgrsbrns @rororo06 @prizmix-and-friends @worlds-in-words @im-salt-but-not-salty @5aftermidnight @riotmaximoff

Criminal Minds tag list: @reidingandwriting

[mangekyuou]

                                             SWEET TREAT ━ﾞ

⁺◟   CHARACTERS . . .           higashikata josuke           fem!reader

⁺◟   GENRE . . .           fluff           oneshot

⁺◟   SYNOPSIS . . .           after another outstanding tennis           match win, josuke treats ( y/n ),           the school’s undefeated champ           and the apple of his eye, to a           sweet treat where he finally plans           to confess his long tern crush on           her.

⁺◟   CONTENT WARNINGS . . .           sugar, sugar, and more sugar           also....awkward baby josuke

⁺◟   WORD COUNT . . .           1.4k.

⁺◟   COMMENTARY . . .           what a way to come back. here’s           some josuke fluff for you guys. i           know this is very late because it’s           been over a month since i last           posted a oneshot !! i hope this           makes up for it. but on the other           hand, this is actually my 100th           post on this blog !!

“Jojo? Earth to Jojo? Anyone up there?”

A royal blue-eyed teen blinked, knocking himself out of his thoughts. His royal blue eyes found the gentle, sweet ( e/c ) eyes of a young girl around the same age who stood in front of him, waving her hand to grab his attention.

Her skin was flushed for her tennis match only 30 minutes ago. She wore a white tennis skirt that sat just above the center of her thighs and her school’s tennis jersey tucked into her skirt, which clung tightly to her sides. Draped over her shoulders was an oversized jacket that belonged to the boy royal blue eyes, that she had asked to wear while they were in the chilling ice cream parlor after her match. He just didn’t ask for it back because he believed it looked better on her than him.

( l/n ) ( y/n ).

Josuke’s childhood neighbor, friend, and most importantly, his crush.

It was like love at first sight. His blue eyes danced, read as stared hauntingly, with her ( e/c ) ones the entire time they had met. She had moved into his neighborhood. Right into the home next to his own. As her parents had conversed with his mother, ( y/n ) had reached out, taking his hand into her, tugging at his little arm gently as she asked him to accompany her to her backyard playground set.

They had been close friends ever since. All throughout elementary school and middle school. Now they were in high school, dreaming of college, and so close to the rest of their lives. Recently, Josuke had introduced her to his new friends, Koichi and Okuyasu, his much older nephew, Jotaro, and even his father, Joseph. She was still having a bit of a hard time adjusting to them taking so much of Josuke’s time, but she understood as she was beginning to become fairly busy with her sport, tennis.

In middle school, the young girl was recruited to the tennis team. She was a natural with raw talent that just needed a bit of shaping up. Quickly, she made her way through the rankings, becoming one of her team’s strongest assets. Even this year alone, she was currently undefeated with an astonishing record of 8-0.

“You okay, Jojo? You were staring at me for a long time, not saying anything. Did your brain freeze finally settle in?” She questioned.

A light pink, embarrassed blush appeared across his cheeks, looking down at his already half-way eaten hot fudge sundae, “Y-Yeah I’m fine. I was just deep in thought about something.” He took his cold to the touch spoon that sat on the edge of the glass his sundae was in, placing it into his mouth.

“I’m all ears if you want to tell me,” She offered with a gentle smile that warmed his heart.

He took the spoon out of his mouth, back into the glass, “It’s really dumb anyways. I doubt you’d want to hear it.”

The young girl shook her head at him, taking one of the napkins sitting on the table beside her glass bowl of vanilla ice cream. She stood up slightly, reaching across the table. Josuke’s eyes fell onto her in a slight panic. The deafening pounding of his heart reached his ears, as she came closer. It had happened all too fast.

Her face was only mere inches away from him, slightly above him. Her royal blue eyes had focused on her plump lips, just before the corners of her mouth to curled into that of one of her sweet smiles. ( y/n ) dabbed the side of Josuke’s mouth with the napkin as gentle as possible, as if he were made of the finest glass.

He could smell the perfume she had put on after her match, as she had packed up. The perfect mix of floral and fruity, perfect for someone like her. if paradise had a scent, it would be that one. He could feel her cool breath against his tomato red cheeks.

She whispered a small ‘there’, sitting back down flat in her seat, as she crumpled up the napkin, letting it sit next to the other used napkins, “You had a bit of chocolate on the corner of your mouth there. It had been sitting there for a while, I just decided to get it for you.”

“U-U-Uh...t-thanks,” He stuttered, scratching a spot behind his neck with a nervous grin. He let out a relieved sigh, no longer hearing his heart beating in his ears.

“No problem, what are friends for? Now, what were you talking about earlier? I kind of interrupted you, sorry.”

“No, it’s fine...I um...it gave me a bit of time to think,” Josuke mumbled.

She tilted her head, waiting for him to continue. Josuke fiddled with his fingers underneath the silver table, his eyesight cutting to a woman behind the counter who had looked at him. As if it were a cue, a light bulb had gone off in her head, as she rushed toward the back of the parlor. The sound of the door closing alerted the teenage girl, she looked over her shoulder in confusion.

Josuke cleared his throat, trying his hardest not to squeak, “You know, ( y/n )...you...um...you did really well out there today!”

“Didn’t you say that right before we left the courts,” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

‘Oh god, she’s caught on. She knows I’m stalling! She knows there’s something wrong,’ The boy thought to himself, his inner self tearing itself apart as he was on the verge of combusting. He tried to keep a straight face, taping his foot underneath the table at a quick pace.

( y/n ) opened her mouth to speak just as the door to the kitchen had opened once more, grabbing her attention. The owner of the parlor had walked out a bright smile, holding a heart-shaped ice cream cake dressed with chocolate ganache and strawberries. She placed the cake down in front of the young girl, bowing slightly, “I hope you enjoy it. Congratulations on your win today.”

“Thank...thank you, but how did you...wait we didn’t order this...” ( y/n ) trailed off, as the woman had retreated back to her place behind the counter. She looked to Josuke who had nursed his sundae, his eyes focused on the mixture of chocolate and vanilla, swirling them together.

“How did she even know that I won? I know Morioh is small but is it that small? I’m stuffed.” She finally looked down at the cake, “I doubt I could even eat another bi―” She noticed a message on top of the cake. As she stopped speaking, Josuke looked up from his sundae. He could feel his heart begin to race again, ready to run itself into the ground.

The look on her face was unreadable.

Did she like it?

Did she hate it?

What was it?

Written in the middle of the cake were the words, ‘( y/n ), will you be my girlfriend? ― Jojo’

“Will you?” He spoke up, his voice slightly cracking. He cursed himself on the inside, as she looked up from the cake, tears welling in the corners of her eyes. “( y/n ), are you okay?! What’s wrong? I knew I shouldn’t have―”

“Yes.”

He blinked, forgetting all about the confession for a second. She sniffled, wiping away the tears that had begun to well up in her eyes. “I’ll be your girlfriend. I was beginning to wonder when you were going to ask.”

“Really?! Wait...you knew I liked you?!” He questioned.

She nodded, “Your mother told me a long time ago by accident. I didn’t know to respond because I thought it would hurt our close friendship, but then after some time, I realized that...I like you too, Jojo, though I was scared to admit it at first. I just didn’t expect you to go all the way out like this. But I’m grateful.”

“You...you like me too?”

She leaned across the table once more, placing a gentle peck on his cheek, “Does that answer the question?” He placed his hand on the spot she had kissed, melting, “Y-Y-Yeah I guess so.” She let out a soft giggle, pushing the cake to the middle of the table, “I hope you’re still hungry. We have an entire cake to finish together, boyfriend.”

“B-Boyfriend?” Josuke repeated. The word had made him blush. It sounded so sweet falling out of her mouth. Perhaps it would become his favorite word. ( y/n ) nodded, “That’s what you are, right? My boyfriend.”

“And you’re my girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend~. I like that word.”

She poked the tip of his nose, “I like it too.”

“We should start eating before the cake melts.”

⁺◟   BACK TO NAVIGATION . . .

[popculturebuffet]

Scotrospective: Scott Pilgrim Vs the World (The Comic)

Hello, Hello, Hello scottaholics! And what a beautiful day it is: After decades lost in the lost woods, at least it had that catchy tune to keep it company, Scott Pilgrim Vs the World: The Game is FINALLY back and performing for you on all platforms!

Even Stadia, the platform most likely to disappear like this game did for a while! Cheap shots at the stadia aside as a huge fan of the franchise as a whole and of this game who played it back on the 360, and had since sold said 360 so I had no way to get it back or ever play the dlc packs. Seriously who didn’t want to play wallace but never got to? Everyone, everyone is the answer. But with those the entirety of what I consider to be the main cast is playable, it has online so you can beat up hipsters, guys in costumes and robots with your friends, it’s a good damn feeling.  And since i’m in a celebratory mood, naturally i’m also feeling like a review. And since it just so happens the next volume up in my look at the comics is Vs the World, seriously I planned this review for this month without thinking to have it come out on the same day as the game until a week or two in, I felt there was no better way to celebrate the biggest day for Scott Pilgrim fans in some time.. and for Brian Lee O Malley as he’ll stop getting twitter asks about it. So with all the exposition taken care of LAST TIME, and the link right there if your curious, we can jump right in. On with the show!

After our opening titles, and yes this comic has opening titles, with Ramona sitting solmely in the rain. 

And Scott caught in the title. The rain shot is real pretty by the way. But yeah once we get past those we’re taken back 7 years ago. Finn found out his father was an asshole, and voiced by Stephen Root so hey you take the good with the bad, Steven just learned the horrifying truth about Gem Monsters, Guardians of the Galaxy saved the MCU and I was trying to find work after college.. wait... sorry sorry that was 7 years ago from THIS year. The comic came out in 2005, though the comic takes place on a sliding timescale where only like 2 years pass so I dunno when this is. Let’s just say 98.  Okay so 1998: Bill Cllinton’s sex scandal breaks, and puts way too much of hte blame on the young intern whose life came to be defined by one stupid mistake she made with a man who was way older and should’ve known better, the tide of the Monday Night War turned in favor of the WWF as Stone Cold Steve Austin became a household name, and it was an utterly standup year for video game relaases with Ocarina of Time, Banjo-Kazooie, Crash Bandicoot: Warped, StarCraft, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, WWF: War Zone, Pokemon Stadium, Spyro The Dragon, Pokemon Yellow, WarioLand 2, Oddworld: Abe’s Exodus, Star Wars: Rogue Squadron, Pokemon: Trading Card Game and Sonic Adventure. It’s like someone took a good chunk of my childhood and squeezed it into one year holy shit, I did not expect this when looking up what came out in 98. 

And while the movie pool wasn't’ quite this amazing, we still had The Wedding Singer, The Big Lebowski, the dude abides, Batman and Mr Freeze: SubZero, The Truman Show, Mulan, the good one not the one made near concetration camps that makes her into a demigod, Saving Private Ryan, Blade, Simon Birch, Scooby Doo on Zombie Island, Rushmore, Bride of Chucky, HalloweenTown, Plesantville, and the Prince of Egypt. And in music Weird Al changed from his first signature look to his second, getting Lasik and growing out his hair. Seirously had no idea that was this year. Good to know. Also Elton John got his knighthood. Super shooters. I could go on with 1998 triva for days but I cannot go on for 8 weeks so let’s get to the point here.. during alllla this  Scott Pilgrim, age 16, was starting St. John’s Catholic School and a couple of guys who were up to no good started making trouble. . by threatning to beat him up for no real reason. A fight insues and we cut to the principal’s office as Scott’s still a minor and not allowed to get into death fights just yet under the people’s freedom of choices and voices act. 

It’s here he meets Lisa Miler, a peppy and sarcastic blonde, who’s intrigued by the fact Scott somehow got beat up after being here just 15 minutes and wants to be friends. Naturally for scott next we see him he’s busy playing video games, and annoyed someone else is around and wondering who this person whose now in his basement is. God no wonder teenage me related to him. So for the next few pages we see their friendship in time lapse: Lisa joins him at lunch, then geninely wonders since Scott’s Untentionally a dick if he hates her.. it’s part of why I think Scott has some form of autisim. And not just because I tend to belivie a character is on the spectrum all the damn time, it’s because of the way he acts: while he is nice and charming at times.. he also clearly has trouble relating to people or realizing how his actions effect them and as seen here in a younger form can often be compeltely distanced from normal social queues, not getting how his actions might be seen until Lisa outright talks to him about it. I mean.. it’s not a huge stretch, and it dosen’t mean he’s nto responsible for his own actions, but it does EXPLAIN a lot of them better: why he just sorta forgets about Knives post-ramona but at the same time still cares enough he dosen’t want to hurt her despite you know, that ship sailing just by having moved on. 

But now the two are friends and his parents, who we meet for the first time and sister inquire about her being his girlfirned.. and by next jumpcut his parents apparently don’t want him hanging out with girls? What exactly the fuck? Also they mention Laurence, Scott’s brother whose missing for most of the books and has no real payoff for not being around. Next cut we get KIM!

Thank you Prissy. And she’s.. not all that different, assuming, correctly that their partner project, how she meets scott will just result in her doing all the work.. which not only is how these things usually went when I was in high school a decade later, but reminds me of the time me and my friends curtis and justin were put on a project and when asked who the alied powers were, guessed “Germany?”.... you can understand my fear. And also Curtis punching him for getting nothing done.. and not hard or brutally mind you just once quick in the gut and with full warning. Ah... the adaquate old days. 

So back to Lisa as, since Scott’s Mom has a guitar.. a fact I.. never honestly thought about. Seriously I never realized her children, since the Bass Scott has for most of the books is Laurence’s, getting into music was probably due to her. Also Lisa makes her case for WHY be a band: the school has a regular event called Lunchapalooza, where everyone goes to and since by teen logic, just being in a band is automiacally cool, she figures they can jump from not QUITE being in any cliques to being super cool. Which honestly yeah... while I didn’t know any bands in high school, the fact one of my friends, ironically named Scott, was a DJ automatically made him pretty damn cool once he got past his awkard phase. I never got past mine but somehow was loved by all except that one douchey kid in our group who mocked me for naming my Luxray kim, assuming it was based on Kim possible and not Kim Pine... though frankly how that’s an insult when Kim Possible was a fucking awesome show and character is beyond me but he was just 17 and also a douchebag, it didn’t have to make since it just had to piss off the easily pissed off kid with aspergers. So Scott poses how they can be a band with just their guitars and Lisa concedes drums WOULD help.. I mean it’s what MADE Shallow Gravy. 

So while Kim wonders if Scott is dating Lisa, because teenagers don’t really get girls and boys can be friends without wanting to be together, though not often as teenage boy brains can be rather stupid and horny... can confrim from personal experince. So it becomes clear Scott has a thing for Kim, and when Scott tries broaching it with Lisa she dosen’t take it well and he backpedals to asking her to be her drummer and plans to monday, proving Scott has somehow not gotten better at reading women, or anyone after 7 years. Can relate. 

So yeah he decides to ask Monday, same day as their presentation.. and thankfully missed the bus as he arrives to find the Benvy Tech boys came in, took everyone out and abducted Kim. Because yeah, just in case you were wondering Scott’s life was always like this.. or was it? Questions for later. So one Canadian Version of River City Ransom later, Scott’s made his way to simon... who, since most of you have probably seen the movie or art of the movie.. looks an AWFUL lot like Gideon. Hrmmm. Simon is naturally the final boss here and wonders if this is the best St. Joels can muster. Scott quips back as only Scott can. 

So cue an unsuprisingly awesome actoin sequence. IT’s part of why I love these color editions: While they already LOOKED thoroughly fantastic the added colors really help the series shonen manga meets old school video game vibe REALLY fucking pop. So Simon pleads mercy which like Scott delivering a good quip.. should’ve really been a red flag to younger me and is foreshadowing for later in case I was too subtle. He then does what any noble hero would do.. kicks simon into the sunset, tells Kim how he feels and asks her to play drums. They then make out. Awwww. 

Lisa suprisingly takes it well as the next montage shows.. granted we’ll learn in Feburary she wasn’t QUITE as over scott as it seemed, but the three, along with a friend of Lisa’s whose name I forgot and who DOSEN’T come back so I’m not going to bother learning, form their own friend group, Scott and Kim get an A, and Scott, Kim and Lisa’s band is dubbed sonic and knuckles, which is an objectively awesome band name. Something the series really does great: Video Game Based Band Names. Crash and the Boys, Sex Bomb-Omb, Clash at the Demonhead... we need more bands like this in the real world dammit. So then they play their big game, the two loose their vrigniity.. and then Kim asks scott “your moving to tornoto?” And.. for now.. that’s that. 

While the framing of that will be VERY important in the last volume, as notice how KIM’S the one who brings it up and it’s not explicitly stated scott actually told her, this flasback is great. While it does contribute to the volume’s drifty pacing, more  on that as we go, it brilliantly sets up a LOT of stuff for later, paticuarlly Lisa who I assumed wouldn’t be back and younger me’s jaw fucking DROPPED when she popped up in Volume 4. Granted i’m spoiling that suprise for you now but odds are most of you reading this have either alreaddy read these or were probably wondering if the girl from the animated short ever had any actual relevance in the books. So yes, yes she does. She’s also the pink haired girl you see pop up in the game in the background, as a nod to O’Malley’s comic strip style which had her and Kim as the leads.  Also yeah for fans of the game or movie or even the comics who were unaware.. this prologue got an animated adaption on adult swim to promote the movie. Naturally Micheal Cera and Allison Pill reprised their roles as Scott and Kim, with Mae Whitman voicing lisa.. and honestly being perfect for the roll, and Jason Schrwartzman voicing Simon naturally. While the animation is slightly limited, it still looks decent and expertly translates O’Malley’s art, while sliming things down slightly where needed to fit a short, and the anmation takes a huge bump for the fight scene which like the comic is short but awesome. While it has no real bearing on the film as Kim’s former relationship with Scott never really comes up or has any impact, as the Film while good was based primarily on volumes 1-3 with small pieces of 4 (paticuarlly the iconic “Lesbians gag”), with Wright working off outlines and drafts of 5 and 6, so the last half hour or so is mostly Wright’s invention. 

Not a bad thing as it’s still awesome and not o’malley’s fault but it means kim dosen’t get to do much, and is a big reason why I want an adaptation on netflix or hbo max. While i’d still want changes both because there’s no sense doing an adaptation if your not going to make some tweaks of your own and because it’d be intresting to update the series to modern day, both in societal conventions and so everyone stops saying the r word. Seirously the most telling sign of the series age is that word showing up quite a bit during the first half of the series. Point is there is merit in doing another remix of the story and doing a longer form one so we can get more of the characters, as well as flesh out ones like Steven, Neil (Who was done WAY better in the movie adaptation thanks to the wonderful Johnny Simmons), and Stacey who got the shaft in the books. Again, not slagging off the movie, it’s really great. Just saying there’s always room for more Scott Pilgrim content and we all know it. 

We’ll get back to the comic proper, and the present day of 2005, after the cut. 

So the story proper opens with Scott dreaming of playing video games... because of course he is with Ramona walking in. and finding it charmingly pathetic but wanting her boyfriend to you know, get out of bed. It’s 11:30.  So with Scott’s ass out of bed, we find Scott, Age 23 idiot with a heart of gold and Wallace, 25 king of all gays, on the bus as they talk it getting warmer and Lucas Lee, movie star and jason lee stand in coming to town to film a movie.. and Scott being Scott gets him confused for Luke WIlson. He’s also seen Bottle Rocket which.. good on him. Seriously while not wes anderson’s best film, those were made long afte this comic was published, it’s still a damn good one.. where was his career at this point... looking it up life aquatic was his most recent films and is still one of my favorites. So yeah he was in a good place career wise. 

Scott proudly talks about having Ramona over in a couple days so she can see his place and meet Wallace. But as explained by Wallace for those of us just tuning in, he already met her last volume. You know during that time Stacey thought she could magically make her date not be attracted to someone else.. and yes even almost a month later not letting that one go. Stacey should know better. Not saying i’ts right Wallace keeps poaching her boyfriends, but she still shoudlnt’ try and force a relationship with a guy or even finish a date with one who makes out with someone else, regardless of gender, mid date. She deserves better. In general not just in this one scenario but we’ll get to that. 

Point is while Scott, as usual, is a bit pissy about this Wallace.. has no time for that and issues an ultimatium

And he’s not bluffing, as he fully intends to tell Ramona the minute she walks in the door if he dosen’t break up with Knives. It really shows Wallace off at his best and why he’s Scott’s closest friend: Kim and Stephen do care about him but Kim both has a LOT of unresolved issues and sexual tension with him and keeps eveyrbody including Scott at arm’s length. And Stephen.. while he will OCASIONALLY call Scott out mostly just enables him, either ignoring his college buddy’s shittier behavior or playing along with it and backing him up when Kim rightfully calls him on being a dickhead. While both love their friend they just aren’t the best at dealing with his shit or getting why he does the things he does good and bad.  Wallace on the other hand geninely likes Scott. He’ll lock him out of the house and tell him to sleep elsewhere so he can bang one out, he’ll not wear pants if he dosen’t have to and he’ll certainly hit on Scott just to get a rise out of him, phrasing.. but he also genuinely cares for the guy’s well being. He lets him sleep in their house basically rent free since scott has no money, buys most of their stuff, and is, as we’ll see in this one, the ONLY one of his friends to take an active part in the fight against the exes, training Scott and researching his opponents when he can get info. He won’t baby Scott as seen here, but he will help him, and he will be the harsh voice of reason his friend needs.  And he did TRY doing a softer approach last time, simply telling scott to break up with his fake high school girlfriend. Scott had every chance to dump Knives during the last third of the first book.. it’s just a combination of both Knives and Ramona being in the same place and Scott getting panicky meant he balked. He NEEDS to be pushed into leaving Knives or he’s not gonna. And he also gets it’s not just Scott being a shifty coward: Scott DOES like Knives.. he just found someone who actually challenges him, intrests him and connects with him on his level, versus someone who worships and adores him like a puppy who just happens to be skilled with knives. The relationship with Knives. was an ego boost, an unequal paring that gave Scott the illusion of moving on from Envy. Ramona is him ACTUALLY moving on and given how badly Envy fucked him up, which comes into play in this book and the next, Wallace recognizes that Scott does need her... but this relationship can’t go anywhere if Scott is seeing someone else, and they both know it. Wallace is just the one who’s willing to do something about it to force scott to do something about it. He’s doing this for Knives too: it’s very clear he cares about the girl, was against this from the start, and knew this was going to end in pain and the faster Scott rips off the Band-Aid the faster she can move on to someone closer to her age and far more equal to her. Scott.. takes this about how you’d expect, even calling Double Standard, as Wallace does sleep around.. and while Wallace will be a homewrecker to Stacey.. otherwise it’s not remotley the same. Wallace does his sleeping around either casually or when he does get a partner, with their consent from what we can tell. He never cheats or anything, he just likes to bone. So yeah Scott doesn’t have a leg to stand on and acts accordingly. 

One of my faviorite gags in the series and one that’s etched in my head for keeps. So with a justified Ultimatium over his head Scott calls knives to hang out. Knives.. shows off that as adorable and trusting as she is.. she’s also kind of creepy and shows up just outside the phone booth he’s calling her from.  So the two go to a record store and Knives tries to get Scott into Clash at the Demonhead, her faviorite band. But since i’ts you know, headlined by Scott’s ex as we’ll find out, he’s not into it. But before that can get awkward.. it gets awkward in another way as Knives invites Scott to dinner at her parents place. Which is an objectively bad idea even before you get into the fact Scott wants a way out and as Volume 4 will show us her dad is both not happy with the idea of her dating a white guy and willing to use a katana to prevent it so he dodged a bullet there. Scott TRIES weasling out of it, but his “I’m too old for you” thing falsls on deaf ears.. and actually explains why she thinks this is normal: her parents are 9 years apart. of course obviously two consenting adults with a decade between them is a mite bit diffrent than 5 years between a teenager whose taking this way too seriously and a grown man whose taking this not seroiusly at all and dosen’t get how effed up this is. But Knives is too naive to get that, and papers over any possible concerns about her parents not wanting her to date a white guy with i’m in love.  Seeing that he has no EASY way out of this, as he shouldn’t, Scott just rips off the band aid and bluntly breaks up with her, saying it’s not going to work out. Knives.. is clealry devistatd. To her this was a serious relationship.. and Scott realized that too late.. and thankfully while he didn’t break up with her in the best way, at all, simply syaing i’ts not going to work out and confirming to her he means it, it’s clear from his face this hurts to do and he knows he’s REALLY hurting her and REALLY shoudlnt’ of dated her to begin with. IT’s why Scott dating a teenager dosen’t make him a morally rephrenisvie monster: because he was genuinely intrested, didn’t use her sexually, and there are tangible consequences for his actions. Knives just dosen’t disappear neatly into the sunset so he can be with ramona. The rest of the series covers her emotoinal recovery from being with Scott, and how she very horribly handles it and that’s why this plotline works at all: she’s not some act one contrivance to be thrown away, sh’es a human being, and more than that a young woman who got hurt REALLY bad and got way too in over her head with someone who just..wasn’t the one fo rher no matter how much she can’t admit that. 

We also get one of my faviorite sets of pages as Scott relfects on things and the sheer devistation on Knives face, which credit to a series that even at this early point loves it’s big bold facial expressions.. her’s being more subded just makes it sting MORE. 

This bit to me is vital to keeping Scott sympathetic and to his character. We see he really does regret what happened, dosen’t know how to process it and genuinely feels awful. As I said instead of some exgerated face that would still hurt him.. her face is quiet, clearly unable to process this and clealry lost and hurt.. and that hurts more than any fuck your or sobs he was probably expecting. Just her clearly not getting WHY he’s doing this or why he hurt her, and he KNOWS why he just knows telling her the truth would hurt her even more. But.. as he thinks.. his thoughts move to something else.. and the WHY of why he did this. 

He did it for Ramona. Wallace was as harsh as he was right: he needed a clean slate to actually give this relationship a shot and the smile comes off less as him being a calous dick whose just happy to move on, I mean he is a little, but more jus tsomeone READY to finally move on. He found the right person, he let the wrong one go if clumsily.. he has a future to look forward to and he can smile about that. 

Granted he’s still his usual unteitonally callous self and his way of telling his friends he and knives broke up is to casually say so and say “dont’ worry you’ll meet my new girlfriend soon.” Their reaction.. is my own. 

Look just because Scott is a nuanced douchebag dosne’t stop him from being a Douchebag. It just means he isn’t intolerable to watch and you actually care about him growing as a human being is all. 

So with that out of the way, it’s date night and Ramona is coming over.. also Scott is considering calling her Ramy which no. I'm genuinely in favor of a pet name that’s just a variant on someone’s name but a bit cute, as it’s just the right level of obnoxious, but no, just no Scott. No.  Ramona enters, meets Wallace again and sits down while Scott tries to shoo him out.. because turnabout is fair play bitch. They also see Ramona’s new hair as she dyes it something new for the first time, in this case a very lovely two tone, the purple from last volume but with a darker purple bellow it. I honestly wish she went for multiple colors in her hair again, but likely didn’t since the book was originally in black and white... which still dosent’ make sense as it would’ve been EASIER that way. Regardless Wallace makes himself scarce proving that he’s more than willing to be equal in terms of one of them spending the ngiht elsewhere. What a guy. 

Ramona finds out a few things about Scott: That his apartment is VERY small, just one room with a bed, a cabinet, a small kitchen and a bathroom, which despite what scott says I REALLY dont’ count as another room. Just common sense. She also learns that he can COOK. Yeah while you’d expect Scott to just get a wad of “I did the ultimatum thing okay now gimme” money and buy dinner but no.. he made the whole thing himself from his own recipe.  And once we cut to them eating on the floor.. turns out yeah he not only can cook but is REALLY good at it. She wishes there was a table which, small as the place is.. fair point. I mean at least get some tv trays. You have chairs. Or at least the easy chair. You can get nice padded folding chairs so you have a second chair guys. I know your poor but come on. Also Scott leanrs bread makes you fat. Good stuff. Also Scott freaks out when , while making out with Ramona in bed later, she mentions his hair’s getting kinda long and could use a cut... which turns out to be a thing for him. He isn’t an ass about it he just panics a bit because he’s partially convinced his last relationship’s nightmarish breakup was because of a bad haircut he got. As we’ll see next week, that’s a no but as someone whose a touch neroutic myself I get blaming a larger issue on something trivial. 

So we then get to the next chapter where it’s KIM’S turn to have a dream.. and the only time we see someone else's dreams. Honestly.. I really would’ve liked if it was a recurring device, even have Ramona pop into other people’s Not used ALL the time but I could easily see it being used with Knives to convey her obsession with Scott and her pain or kim again to help move her plots along or Wallace because I want to know what’s going on in his head. It must be a maze of male gentalia and fine liquor the likes of which has never been seen. It’s scotts funeral as Simon killed him and Scott’s corpse wonders if she dreams about this a lot. 

So we see her get ready and wake up her roomate Sarah whose a bitch. And as we’ll see in one of the backups, so’s the rest of her roommates. So drifting into work. Hollie is a character I really liked... the past tense will be explained later. And the first scene is probably why as her and Kim banter effortlessly, with Kim suggesting maybe she was a happy kid... only to admit quickly no she wasn’t, she was pretty withdrawn and then pretty angsty over someasshole who will be named Scott. “Your a holy terror kim, and i’m glad your on your side”> It’s a short scene but the kind this series excells at: just realistic, fun little exchanges bursting with character. I also GENUINELY wish we got more of this kind of thing, as only Knives really gets these kind of scenes to herself for the most part. There ARE scenes without Scott, but not enough like this that just give us as look into what his friends lives are like during the moments they aren’t putting up with his dumbassery or watching him engage in mortal combat. It’s why i’ve been hoping a spinoff will happen even though it likely won’t SOON. I’m sure O’Malley will return to this world some day, but between Snotgirl and Wicked World, which will come out when it’s ready but should be good.. he’s just really busy. But i’d love to see more of Kim.. or Wallace or Knives. The latter two are a no brainer: Knives is the tritagonist of the books, and it’d be intresting to see what she’d be like 5 years at the book, at the same age and stage in life as Scott. And with Wallace it’s because we really DON’T see his friend circle, life or what goes on with him. We hear him talk about a new boyfriend, who we don’t meet until near the end of the series, though you can see him in stage 3 of hte game if your curious, we see him with some random friends in volume 4, but we really don’t KNOW what hyjinks and lojinks wallace gets up to. He’s pretty isoalted from the rest of the main cast, something I hope an adaptation could fix as while realistic i’td be curious to see what his relationship with Kim or Steven would be like. Just food for thought. 

Point is this was a good scene. But as is typical for Kim’s life just when she has some serenity her ex crashes back in. In this case Scott needs to rent some movies, kim works at a rental store and god teenage me really wanted a clerks style spinoff.. but enough spinoff talk. Scott asks kim to bororw them, of course and explains he’s training for his fight with Lucas.. which Kim reacts to finding out her second best friend is in a series of death matches. 

She has understandable questions such as how the hell doe she know that and is he stalking Lucas and just hoping he’s an ex.. which let’s face it would be a very scott move. But nope Wallace told him, likely learning in an interview he dated Ramona or is coming for scott because he knows everything. We also get one of my faviorite exchanges when Kim wonders why Wallace and Scott are roomates.. a valid question he deflects by saying i’ts a long story. 

Also yeah, as much as casting Micheal Cera backfired for the movie.. that panel there proves there wasn’t another choice at the time. When you want a loveable, somewhat douchey, but also somewhat innocent and oblivious slacker.. who you gonna call. Also before we move on.. Kim.. how are you this suprised. You were there for the fight with Matthew. And Ramona giving out the exposition on why he’s there.. and you even did that whole weird space channel 5 thing no one ever did agian and to this day I will never understand what O’Malley was going for and only know the refrence by hearing that’s what it was. Point is you shouldn’t be this suprised.  Anyways we next cut to Ramona and Stacey, as Ramona enters her workplace, second cup, and they talk and Scott’s spider sense goes off... 

I mean it’s just a bad feeling but still.. weird. WE’ll get back to that later. Scott is in the middle of his training.. and I love the mentor side of Wallace and feel it didn’t get used enough as the series went on. As said before he cares about Scott, so he serves as his Shounen Mentor and a great one: he’s stern and makes Scott work, but he also gets his student and what Scott needs to work. I just wish he’d taught Scott some actual combat, but as we see Wallace’s combat skills boil down to yelling useless info from the sidelines.. I mean he can be useful, we’ll see that next week, it’s just he’s not an action guy. But spirtually he’s the guy scott needs to kick his ass into shape. That being said his “training” consists of watching Lucas’ movies, playing tony hawk and when Scott wants to play more Tony Hawk, having Scott do pushups while Wallace plays Tony Hawk.  Before we turn... there is an elephant in the room I just gotta shoo out: Lucas.. is easily the worst setup of the 6 exes. Patel SEEMINGLY comes out of nowhere but his letter and email hint SOMETHING is coming up, and his flashy dynamic entry intro is damn cool and is what turns the series on it’s head, from an indie comic about a guy getting it together.. to that but with huge shonen dustups with epic visuals. Todd is introduced masterfully here, and is a presence from the start of volume 3 as a result, Roxie gets a slight tease in the free comic book day issue, and her not attacking for two months not only sets up tension but allowed for a red herring.. im’ not only hiding that the fourth ex is a she because anyone whose seen the movie or played the game knows the fourth ex is a woman. The cat’s out of the bag, no sense hiding it. The Kentangis show up pretty early on and Gideon is hinted at and built up, as this towering, mysterious figure, his relationship with Ramona, who he is, why he set up the league, and just how fucking strong he is is all obscured, with his only four apperances simply teasing the big final showdown and giving him that much more mysitque. 

Lucas.. is just sorta intorduced like “Hey I gotta fight this guy”. There’s just.. nothing. Scott’s just gotta fight him because he’s next up and Wallace knows that because plot convience. It’s VERY lackluster given what comes before.. and frankly while I like Lucas, he’s the weakest plot and character wise. HE’s not even really EVIL, just a sellout and is more doing this because he has to I guess, and likely because of stuff we find out in Book 6 but sssssshhhhh. We’ll get more into that when the fight happens but it’s one of the books weakest points. The evil ex.. just feels like an afterthrought again despite there being no reason to. Thankfully this would never happen again as I said, but it dosen’t make this any less frustrating. 

So we cut to Sex Bomb-Omb practice, and after that we get more tease for Clash at Demonhead. And Stephen.. is cool with them and entirely happy one of them made it, while Scott is understandably pisssed off about it and not happy one of his best friends is you know, promoting the band of his ex who broke his heart and as we’ll get more into next time, said rising career is what tore them apart. So yeah Stephen’s a dickhead, and I was wrong last time that he got better. He really.. dosen’t. He gets less CREEPY.. but out of the main 6 characters he’s the weakest: he dosen’t have much of an arc, does some very questionable shit in the second half, and his being around means we have to suffer through Julie. I’ll tear into him more on a case by case basis but for once Scott’s not overreacting. While Kim does nothing she also has no idea just HOW bad things were and Scott won’t tell her. Stephen was there the whole fucking time. He just saw Scott’s rebound with a teenager. He knows he was kind of messed up after this. Dosen’t justfiy knives but still he looses the moral high ground he tries to have at times. 

So while Scott shops a song for Ramona to her, Knives calls Scott’s place clearly setting up another suprise apperance. Wallace.. figures out what sh’es doing quick and simply gives her a stern “You have to go” And to me it’s not him being a dick.. he’s both trying to save her from seeing Scott with Ramona and fucking her up worse... and is looking out for her. She needs to move on and moving up to stalking Scott’s not going to help that. Scott dosen’t WANT her anymore, and while he handled it bad, Wallace gets she needs to see that. Granted he could’ve you know explained it to her and tried talking, but as i’ve said he’s not a perfect person and he was also on a time table to get her out of there in case Scott you know, showed up with his new girlfriend and made things a billion times worse. And the two are indeed headed to his place to watch one of Lucas’ movies, and part of that weak setup is that Ramona.. just has no connection with him. It was high school. Scott also pretends he dosent’ remember his. You are a lying liar sir stop that.  So they watch the film together hanging out, and it’s.. really bad. The good one was rented out. I miss rental stores.. a magical time. I mean i’ts better now, streaming means 80% of movies are avaliable if you have a bunch of services and even if you just have netflix or hulu or hbo max, you still get a pretty decent selection each month. Plus digital rentals are super easy. Do miss redbox though. I mean it’s still there I’m just warry of something that relies so heavily on touching things in a state with a lot of trump morons. You CAN get Covid twice and I don’t wanna. Also we get some dated Dialouge as Scott commenting on Lucas being hot, he is good taste Scott, is given a “good job convincing me your not gay”. He and ramona end up having sex though so .. yay? I dunno. The series has a really weird thing about not getting bisexuals exist and as someone whose bi, and really against bi errasure it bothers me, it bothers me a lot. Though given O’Malley apparently has not only far more queer rep in snotgirl but a bisexual lead, he’s clearly learned so i’m not going to drag him too hard on this. It was the early 2000′s. People were pretty damn stupid about this. Creators have gottten MUCH more important issues much worse. 

So the next morning, Scott gets a call from his well meaning but ditzy mom, and reacts like you’d expect. His parents are in Europe to keep them out of the action and what not. Though apparently according to the last book his mom did read volume 3 at least. Or Wallace told her about the relevant bit. You make the call. 

So i’ts Ramona’s turn to meet Sex Bomb-Omb. The group hang out and discuss Gordon Downie. 

Look I don’t know indie bands. I have no idea who the tragically hip are I just know the name is really hipstery. We also get the recipe for Vegan Shepards Pie. None of them are vegan they just wanted to try it and I.. really want to make this some time. Just to see if it’s any good. But yeah it’s in general a fun casual scene, as Kim reveals she and Scott dated, just to break the tension, and Scott tries out Rammy but quickly backpedals. Just fun slice of life stuff. Oh and Knives is watching them from the window and takes Scott dating someone else as well as you’d expect. 

So she gets some hair bleach to do some highlights and calls her friend Tamara over. We met her last volume as she dragged her along to the show, but it’s here we really get to know what she’s like.. i.e. the sane one in the duo, rightfully pointing out Scott’s not that great. Also Knive’s points out ramona’s “fat”, which is thankfully portrayed as petty sniping as while Ramona does have some curves it’s you know.. not remotely a bad thing and the kind of thing a teenage girl would harp on. Still she’s just in STEPS from this happening. 

But yeah.. it’s clear here Knives has some underlying issues to address and really needs therapy  not to go after her ex’s current girlfriend with knives. I mean it’s in the name but still. Then again volume 4 has her dad going around with a katana or something like it wanting to murder her daughter’s older ex boyfriend he dosen’t realize is ex so it’s clear her whole FAMILY needs some therapy. But this does round her out and show there’s more to her.. a pretty violent and obessive side sure, but it shows she wasn’t just some one dimensional ego boost for scott but a person. One whose just as flawed as the rest of the cast.. but more sympatheic because they’ve all got about 6 or 7 years on her and at this age that’s a lifetime. And while Scott DID set this off by dating her which was objecitvely a bad idea... the rest of this isn’t remotely on him. He handled things BAD.... but all he wanted was for both of them to move on. Knives.. simply can’t admit Scott is not a nice person, was probably two timing her as Tamara points out, which as we know he 100% was, and is not some perfect guy she can’t replace: like Knives.. he’s just a person with faults and she’s too blind to see that. 

So before we can get to the crazy stalker ninja fight, let’s instead get to Scott and Ramona hanging out where we meet Gideon, Ramona’s Cat who i’ll call Cat Gideon, both because I love steven unvierse and because it’s less confusing. This is a pretty slight scene as Ramona admits not a lot happened with Lucas and Scott’s apartment is a hole.. which yeah, yeah it is. Also she DEFINTLY dind’t cheat on him with any cocky pretty boys. Which would come off worse if it wasn’t for the pact Ramona was clearly doing it out of regret and Scott just liked like 50 pages ago about rembering his exes when one of them is his second best friend.. which neither would admit but you know it’s true. Stephen is third where he belongs. 

So next morning it’s fight time, and Scott is glad wallace is going with him. It’s awkard going to fights alone. Which leaves me to wonder if before this comic Scott just.. fought random guys letterkenny style. Like they’d call up, schedule it and then he and one or more of his friends would go beat up a guy. It’s just.. hilarious knowing that this kind of thing is common in canda minus the ki attacks , flash effects, wizards, vegan psycics, ninjas, and roboticists. But damn I now want a scott pilgrimized letterkenny now more than ever. You know you do too don’t deny it. I”d love to see the hard right jay fight but iwth a loud “KO!” when he gets his ass knocked out. Also Casa Loma is a very real, very cool Toronto location, as I never realized as a kid, to the point that the lucas fight was filmed there for the movie. 

So Scott approaches Lucas a bit star struck and upon finding out scott is.. punches him out as seen in the header image and throws him into a tower. When Scott regains conciousness, Kim and Neil have arrived and Lucas calls a time out. And it’s here we get to, while being the weakest of the 7, why I like Lucas.. he’s actually a pretty nice guy. At WORST he sold out. But the two have a pretty nice conversation over ritz and baby carrots, with it turning out, unsuprisingly Ramona did cheat on him with a cocky pretty boy, and while like Ramona he’s clearly moved on, it still hurts a bit and understandably so. He also warns scott while she might seem nice i’ts an act. 

I mean it isn’t ALL an act, but she does have a tedency to put up walls and act pretty badly as we’re slowly finding out.. though given Scott does the exact same it only means.. she’s human. She’s not MUCH higher above him in terms of morality and this is where we get our first peaks into the fact the series isn’t just about Scott’s development but hers. But it’s understandably absent from volumes 1 and 2 since we need to know her first, and this volume is about getting to know her a bit and get a feel for who she is, something I ddin’t really get a grip on as a teen, but do now. We see more of who she is good and bad as the walls go down. She’s more SURFACE LEVEL functional than scott, but beneath it has a lot of the same exact issues.  Lucas and Scott continue to GENUINELY bond, as Scott genuinely thinks the guy is talented and Lucas want’s an Oscar this year.. maybe not for the current film which is a romantic comedy with a teen star but hey, stars have done far worse in their Oscar years. I mean at least he’s not making a comedy about himself in a fat suit domestically abusing himself in a wig while he also plays an asian sterotype. He explains he almost didn’t get into the league but felt too important to ramona’s past.. plus he looks cool. Plus they let Patel in despite barely being in a relationship with her and being kind of a tool so they kinda had to let the handsome affiable movie star in. Scott wonders “wait league” and Lucas is understandably frustrated to find out Patel just sent a letter Scott didn’t read.. and at Matthew let’s be clear. I mean.. Gideon has to have known Scott wouldn’t read that since he’s been in his head. We’ll get to that in part 6. Point is they formed a league, hence why their organized enough to come after him like this and Scott understandably glares at Wallace for you know, having him play tony hawk and watch movies yet missing the fucking obvious clue they were all working together and they were only coming at him one at a time by choice. 

Lucas offers to just.. take a bribe and SAY Scott beat him, Scott calls him a sellout jokingly and Lucas proves that while not AS bad as the rest of the League, he’s still a dick by telling him to kiss ramona’s sweet ass goodbye pilgrim. Okay either he’s seen her since high school or he’s fondly remembering a high schooler’s ass. Neither one is nice to think about. But Scott gets out of his ass beating by pointing out a ramp, real thing too used for the movie, and asking him to skate down it. Lucas says i’ts impossible, and Scott just whistles. So Lucas tries skating the impossible and dies via velocity. Yes really. Scott collects his change and gets a gift, a mytryil skateboard he.. can’t use because he dosen’t have a proficency for it and bemoans not picking it up in 5th grade. Also he didn’t get his autograph. He does get some coins though so neat.   Yeah I mentioend Lucas was the least of the exes and I stand by it: He’s an intresting character, not a GREAT person but clearly a charming and nice enough guy who likely offered the bribe not because he’sd a sell out but because he genuinely liked scott, and is easily the best adjusted of the exes. But obviously a near non existant setup and a really hilarious and unsastifying finish just.. don’t really feel sastsifying. I mean i’t slampshaded, but after all the build up of her having 7 evil exes, the next one is just..filler. Not BAD, but not really anything special and giving Scott a an early pokemon victory, but unlike ash having done nothing to really DESERVE it.  Thankfully both adaptations so far VASTLY improved on this. While Lucas is still affiable in the movie he’s also smarmy, if on better terms with Ramona, saying “he seems nice” after the tower throw and throwing in some stunt doubles. His fight goes from one of the least satisfying and weakst of the series, to easily one of the best of the movie. We’ll talk about that more there but obvious Chris Evans version is far superior, keeping the good traits while giving us an intresting fight.. and still keeping the skateboard death because it’s fucking hilarious and the movie improves on THAT too by having scott give flat wows as he slowly dies. The game likewise keeps teh skateboard death, if shortening it, and the skateboard, and while not changing his apperance does make him a hell of a tough boss. Took three tries and some online grinding to take him out. Still a hell of a fight. Point is while I genuinely like Lucas story wise.. this just dosen’t work for me and is pretty damn weak, even if it gives us some godo character insight we could’ve got that, and a fight and still had the finish we did. 

That being said.. we DO get a fight instead, likely why the Lucas fight was so truncated. Next chapter and that evening or the next day or whatever, we pan over the real life tornto refrence library. It is a VERY nice touch thatt the comic and it’s adpations use either real places in toronto or reasonable subsittues. While not canadian myself I love the place and hope to visit Tornoto some day when the world isn’t a living nightmare and it’s really nice that like New York for Marvel, Brian Lee O malley really makes the city feel integral to the comic, like it’s own character. But Knives is ominously perched above.  At second cup Scott is horrified to find Julie. Seconded. Julie takes the moment to give out to scott about him dating Ramona despite telling him no. Okay... 

Yeah as you can probably guess I don’t like Julie. She’s not a good character. The movie did her better, with the bleeping gag and aubrey plaza’s performance, but in the comic.. she’s just the worst. She sucks bad. If she were an ice cream flavor she’d be pralines and dick. While she’s fine on OCCASION, and actually works in the next volume, outside of that she just gets more unplesant, more unlikeable, more bitchy, more unfathomabbly assholish every. damn. volume. I”ll give out about that a bit then too but I have to put up with her for the entire damn comic. Now her being bitchy to Scott is fair to a point: Scott is a mess, and she’s loyal to Envy in the breakup, and Scott’s own friends drag him on a daily basis.  The problems are that she’s like that to EVERYONE, even Knives who isn’t about to stab her much as i’d like that. She’s unberable to Stephen whose tolerance for her is unfathomable, though the ending bits of volume 6 show maybe he just has terrble taste. She’s just a throughly unplesant, social climbing bitch who thinks she’s better than everyone. And it sticks out badly against the main cast; Scott is very bad with women and relating to people, but is also nice, charming and most of the damage he does is not intetional. Ramona puts up walls to keep others out but is also a responsible adult and often cuts through Scott, and at times others, internal bullshit. Wallace is an alcholic, but still a very responsible, very loveable guy who clearly cares about scott and supports him finacially and emotionally. Kim is VERY emotionally distant, very misntrhopic.. but also a good person who as we see as the series goes, has an inner light to her and often drags on Scott because she’s been putting up with his shit the longest and WANTS him to be better. Knives is an obessive and violent stalker.. who was also deeply hurt by an older man, dosen’t GET that her realtionship with scott was wrong and uneven, and is clearly not emtoinallyr eady for the deep feelings she’s having. And Stephen.. well he’s a talented guitarist but also enables scott and julie. Especially him enabling Julie. 

Point is their all pretty well rounded, llikeable characters with flaws. Julie.. is just an ass. And this scene demonstrates that with flying colors. While Scott does ignore her because he’s too worried about his sister and girlfriend becoming friends, understandably given Stacey knows all his dark secrets, Julie spends two pages giving out and treating scott like some bad guy for persuing Ramona against her orders. And i’m going to break down why.. this dosen’t work.. on any level for her.  1) Ramona is not Julie’s property. She’s a big girl with her own free will. They aren’t even remotely close: Julie met her only barely before Scott, and given the dream thing probably not even that. And you could say Julie is just looking out for her... she dosen’t know Ramona well enough to KNOW if Ramona is still smarting over Gideon. She probably was.. but she readily, once the awkwardness passed, went out with scott and dove right into the relationship. While there’s still some scars as we’ll see.. she CHOOSE to move on and that’s her choice. If she wasn’t ready, she woudl’ve turned him down or broke it off by now realizing it was a mistake.  2) Scott has no reason to listen to her. She hates his ass, somewhat justifably but still, she hates him and has been against him since fucking colllege. She took his exes side in the breakup despite Envy still being partly in the wrong but paints him as some abusive dickhead and not just an insesntive dickhead. To him he’s just some villian she needs to reign in for her cool friend who wants nothing to do with her and grows to justifably hate her over time. Scott and Julie TOLERATE each other. They are not friend,s they do not like each other and never will. They are around each other because of Stephen. That is it. If Kim , Wallace or Stephen had asked, or at least made him wait for kinves. he probablyw ould’ve or at least considered it since while they take the piss out of him, they genuinely care about him and actually have shown they care about something other than themselves! Speaking of which the cou de gras 3) She’s a selifsh bitch: She is NEVER not  in any volume seen as out for anyone but herself, and thus scott has no reason to trust her judgement. She berates Stephen, him and anyone who will listen, is only so loyal to envy because she’s famous, and as I said treats EVERYONE like dogshit.  And given Scott is still a very flawed guy.. it takes a LOT for him to be so right and he runs out screaming when Julie mentions her.

So back at the library, Ramona brought Stacey along because the place is a maze. Scott calls Stephen and calls julie evil.. which given the last two paragrahs. Yeah. She is. She really is. But that goes nowhere as he dosen’t have Stacey’s number. He also thinks Julie was responsible for this which while she’s very much not.. would it REALLY be that suprising that if Julie were there she would’ve introdcued the two and set up their little hangout just to piss scott off? God I’m  so sick of talking about her. 

So the two after dropping off Ramona’s package decide to hang out a bit.. not long as Ramona’s got shit to do, but hey I agree with her logic i’m curious about this palce too. But before they can go up an elevator Ramona spots incoming.. and thus we get the fight of the volume. Though given the next one has two climatctic fights and one or two before that, they easily could’ve had both.. this is still the highlight of the volume.  So Ramona snaps off a railing and before Stacey can give out about that she finds out WHY as Knives attacks with a pair of sais. And O’Malley did his homework as while you’d THINK it was just another dumb white person mistake.. O’Malley is asian, thoughw ether he’s candaian korean or canadian chineses, as his last name is korean but he has a large chinese cast in this very comic that might come from experince, I do not know and if you do know tell me. I’d like to refer to him properly as I don’t LIKE lumping all asian cultures into one basket. But not only that he did his home work, as Sai’s, while popularized in Okinawa Japan, were also used in other countries. I bring this up since I assumed it was just a simple mistake even knowing Brian was mixed-race, and was plesantly suprised to fine that know, I was the moron. And i’m fine with admitting that. 

So we get a damn good fight.. and Knives figures out Scott WAS cheating on her. Granted she assumes so due to seeing Ramona at the refrence Library, before he actually cheated and clearly blames Ramona for it, but still, it fucking hurts. Plus while her attacking Ramona, who initally assumes she’s gideon’s doing, which.. yeah sending a teenage assasian just to mess with her head does sound like him. So while Stacey does complain “ramona you can’t just tear out art objects” to which I say... yeah high, Stacey? NOT THE POINT RIGHT NOW SCOTT’S EX IS TRYING TO KILL HER. SHE’S DEFENDING HERSELF.  So we get one hell of a fight. It not only shows off that Ramona is one hell of a fighter herself, as is knives, but just how immature knives is, resorting to constnat fat jokes and taunts showing just how immature she is.. and unlike volume one where it was endearing and we just saw how sweet she was here it just comes off as mean, bitter, and uncomfortable. But again part of the series biggest charm is the main cast are all well fleshed out and throughly human. She’s doint this because she dosen’t know better and was raised in a house where, again as volume 4 will bear out, finding out her dad is going after scott with a samurai sword just warrants a “dad’s are so weird aren’t they” my point is her frame of refrence is a mite skewed. Plus this is a world where everyone but Stacey just calmly accepts big shonen fights break out, so it’s not that unsuaul to want to settle things with a fight and while i’ve joked about her killing Ramona we genuinely don’t know that was the goal> Could’ve been, easily given murder is peachy in this setting and just leads to a respawn according to O’Malley and would’ve just sent ramona back to her apartment. But I genuinely don’t think she has it in her to do it and while she could’ve planend to, she never would’ve. Plus Ramona easily leads the fight as while Knives uses hit and run tactics and tries make her follow.. Ramona is more annoyed than anything as she has shit to do. Knives only gets one hit in and while i’ts a pretty nasty scratch on the cheek, if thankfully not scarring.. Ramona shrugs it off when she brags about it and easily takes knives down with a potted tree. Knives runs and while she tells herself it’s to fight another day.. its really because her opponent was WAY stronger and way more ready for something like this than she probably planned on. She did defintely want a fight, she just wasn’t prepared to be outmatched so handily. It’s also a nice  parallel to last book’s fight: Like with Scott and Matthew,  while the fight SEEMS pretty even, in reality our hero/heroine was alwasy teh one in control and easily took care of the less experinced and less ready upstart, who likely wasn’t expecting a fair fight much less to loose. 

So Ramona and Stacey wisely get out while Stacey explains Knives is indeed Scott’s ex, though is unaware of the cheating thing. Speaking of Scott he’s playing sonic and knuckles, and in fact kept wallace on the line before just to get advice because of course he did hence why stacey didn’t get through to him, but gets a call... from Envy. 

This is easily the second best sequence in the boook, which was lovingly and wonderfully adapted to film and as a result I cannot read it without hearing Brie Larson’s voice for Envy , a nice mixture of seduction and condescension. It’s CLEARLY painful fo rhim, and we do get some things established as Envy toys with him, that it’s been about a year and that she left him for a cocky pretty boy, familiar.. and while Scott claims to not know what he looks like.. given Todd is clearly on her band cover... it’s not exactly hard to put two and two together. So after some awkard catchup and Scott telling her about ramona against his will, we get to the reason she’s here with Scott understanndbly being supscious and calling her a user.. which while Envy denys.. she ends up admitting to. She’s coming to town as estalbished and her opening act backed out, and since Scott has a band, and one that 2/3 of which she knows, she wants them to open for her.  Scott naturally isn’t too intrested and thinks it’s just pity. The sequence. is masterful, using a watchmen style 9 by 9 panel layout and intercutting scott’s pained reactions and clear lack of comfort with flashes of envy on her side.. never showing her proper, but showing his memories or what he’s seen in magazines. It’s really striking and really sells the sheer discomfort Scott’s going through.  So soon after Wallace gets home.. and finds Scott, drained and miserable on the floor, not even responsive. And this really is the scene that shows me that Wallace cares for the guy and cements that asshole he may be, he loves his buddy. He goes through possible scenarios that fit scott: Food poisoning, finding out Wallace saved over his final fantasy save (though he rules it out as last time that happened he was crying), that ramona dumped him.. before Scott let’s out a pathetic and miserable “Ennnnnvvv”. Wallace , who was at ground zero for that relationship as we’ll find out, realizes this and lets out a little shit, unsure how to help and pissed off at that bitch for once again hurting him like this. As I said it shows how Wallace knows scott in and out and loves him dearly.. and how he knwos about this paticuarly heartbreak better than anyone but Scott and Envy themselves. IT’s just a really tearjerking scene, as we get a sense of WHY scott spiraled into an ego boost of a relationship: His last one REALLY tore him in half, and he’s still not completely healed from the emtional bisection. 

So Scott gets more bad news next chapter as Stacey tells him about the fight and he’s worried he’s going to loose ramona on top of this. I mean he desrves it.. .but it’s clear she’s the best thing to happen to him after a really rough year of denial and poor decisionss and loosing her will likely only make him WORSE. He also breaks the bad news, to him at least to the band about the gig. Stephen, being kind of a dick who while understandbly excited about a big gig fails to see his friend REALLY isn’t happy about this nor remembers you know, that the person offering this tore his heart out indiana jones style and while they should take the gig despite the risks, it’s too big an opportunity not to, he should be fucking senstive about this. Kim however... has a suprising and heartbreaking reactoin to this. Which is spread over a few panels but i’m gonna string into one image for convince sake. 

Just.. DAMN. I honeslty missed this both as a teenager and as an adult when I read through the books last time but holy shit is this a heartbreaking little moment, even more with the development she gets in later books. Keep in mind, over two books so far, Kim.. really hasn’t shown a lot of emtion. The most upset she’s gotten was getting a bit pissed about another a girl drummer. The only other time we’ve seen her sad was at 17 when Scott left. Her only emotions that we could see were angry and surly. But here? She’s genuinely upset and we see her walls break down for the very first time.. and it’s with the clear indication she NEVER really got over Scott. She never got proper closure and while she hasn’t let it so.. it’s been VERY clear she's been grossly uncomfortable with how he just likes to brush off their history, something that very clearly still bothers her and understandably so: 6 years , while a lot of time, still really isn’t long enough to just .. FORGET your first boyfriend , how he made you feel or the fact he took your virginity and you took his. Stuff like that sticks with you.. I’m ony assuming on the virginity thing but my point remains: To Scott it’s SEEMINGLY nothing, when really he’s probably just trying to brush it off because he dosen’t like dealing with things and given how Kim is wrongly assumed she can’t feel pain. I mean to anyone else i’d be a fair assumption and even i’m not convinced if she touched a hot stove she’d burn, but that’s phsysical this is emotional. DIffrent playing fields. Point is Scott’s kind of a dick and not having ANY closure for anything, Kim is still smarting from him leaving as much as Scott is smarting from Envy dumping him.  And it somehow gets MORE painful.... which should’ve been the tagline for Bojack Horseman now I think about it but yeah: her line is what cuts me up the most “I saw her on the cover of Now. She’s pretty”. It’s a little line, it’s easy to see why I missed it .. but the subtext really stings. It’s that despite being VERY pretty, I had a crush on her as a kid and I still do now.. Kim just can’t help but compare herself to someone whose now a glamrous rock star.  Their equally attractive but all Kim can see is ANOTHER person who Scott cared about more than her. Which seems petty but again he just.. abnadoned her. His moving wasn’t his choice but his not telling her as was framed earlier sure as hell was. And then just.. look at the next people he dates: A glamorous rock star (She wasn’t at the time but that’s for next week), a much younger girl who can’t possible challenge him, and an ultra cool american. To her.. it must feel like he just looks right through her to every other person intersted in him and never even consdered her as a person anymore. I mean.. jesus christ that hurts.. and makes me hate Stephen more since you know he dosen’t notice any of this.. though at least unlike with Scott it’s a bit more understandable because Kim’s so unflappable and he’s already ignoring very obvious and transparent emotional pain why shouldn’t this be any diffrent.  So yeah no one’s happy about this, and that ends up including Stephen as he’s so insecure about his band’s talent he’s pretty sure they suck when their probably at least adaquate. 

So while Scott dosen’t say anything, it’s clear he’s at least consdiering the offer as when we next see him he and ramona are heading to Envy’s show. And honestly it’s just a really sweet scene as Ramona asks about envy and the two banter and hold hands. A really nice palletee clensar since hte last few pages were like I was the one lucas socked in the gut. Also she assures him she dosen’t hate him, and asks about how the breakup happened, turning down any offers to hear the good times.  It was new years eve one year ago, and he mentions it was over her leaving to meet some guy named Todd.. and Ramona finds the story familiar but brushes off Scott wondering if her todd and Envy’s todd wer ethe same guy as a douchey joke. When prying about what happened otherwise, Scott admits it was all a blur.. Ramona isn’t ahppy with the answer.. but it’s nto like it’s that unresonable: he was in deep with Envy, and the breakup was damn bad to the point it took a year for him to recover and end up in the relationship he is now and the one before this was clearly a cry for help. It also helps reinfroce just how much Wallace was there for him and probably WHY Wallace hates Envy so much. They probably live together simply because Scott needed a place after college, was in zero condition to get a job or do anything given his zombie like state.. and Wallace just had him move into his bed, platonically and into his place. It’s probably why while Wallace will complain ocasoinally he isn’t that on scott to find a job. He dosen’t need a paying roomate, they do fine just on his sallary and he has a steady, secure job in some sort of calling office, probably working in medical stuff like my mom. He needs his friend to be safe and happy, then he can get on his ass about being functional, as he is in present day. If nothing else this volume made me realize just how good a person Wallace is.  The one thing he CAN remember, to Ramona’s disbelif is a restraunt opening up, the job story he hinted at last volume: basically it was a fancy tex mex place called, and this is one of the best restraunt naems in the history of fiction brace yourself: The Gilded Palace of Flying Burritos. Naturally, as would I as I love tex mex and that name, Scott loved the place, ate there most of the week and like me with some places I liked waited impatietly to get a job. He did and they were even super generous as the food was FREE.  Which is a euphoric feeling I relate to, though I also liked any discounts I got. seriously when I worked at Bagel and Bagel a good chunk of my paycheck was eating there for dirt cheap every shift. I miss that place so much. Like even after I left there I still like a good bagel sandwitch. And it wasn’t covid or anything it was just low staffed and slowly coming apart due to a lack of a solid manager after Crystal, the manager who hired me, transfered to a store closer to her home, which I do not blame her for. 

Point is I get it even if Ramona thinks this is all made up. Anyways at Lee’s Place, based on the real life Leo’s place, everyone’s gussied up: Steven got an awful haircut and Kim... 

But no time to dwell on how great kim’s..everything is.. who DID  Neil bring to the concert? 

While Kim is VERY much enjoying this, everyone else is a bit freaked with Ramona getting assurance her and Scott dated breifly, with Kim quipping her and neil will probably date even breiflyer, and Stephen.. freaking out, wondering if she seduced him, and asking if they should take him out back and kick his ass.. 

Just..... that’s a lot of douche to unpack and this review has been VERY long and suprisingly hard already.. but fuck it, we don’t have much left to go let’s do this. Okay one did she seduce him.. I mean I GUESS, but really let’s be clear here: Neil is a horny, lonely, monosolobic 19 year old who lives with his sister’s college friend and whose life revovles around said guys band. Knives is adorable. She likely barely had to flirt with him to get him to say yes .As someone who was a lonely 19 year old doofus, I guarantee no matter the red flags I probably woudl’ve said yes provided she was 18 instead of 17, despite the abudant red flags such as neil vaugely looking like scott, neil being the one single man within scott’s circle to get her way back in, as Knives hasn’t realized she’s bi yet or given how much she looked up to Kim, she probably WOULD’VE gone for it. As would any sane person, which neither knives nor I entirley are. So she didnt’ so much seduce him as offer him a girlfriend he didn’t have and him being too intrested in having a sweet, caring girl on his arm to see the giant army of adrestian soldiers needed to carry all the red flags this presents. 

And as for “do we need to kick his ass. “ Stephen.. did you kick SCOTT’S ass? No, you fucking abetted him and only stepped in for the good girl thing. You did NOTHING to stop his relationship with knives or tell him he was screwing up or look out for that girl’s well being. This will bite him in the ass even harder in volume 5, but even now it just makes him look REALLY fucking bad that, even if he probably dosen’t mean it, that’s at all on the table. Also.. Neil, unlike scott is doing slightly less wrong. While he is 20 to her 17, three years.. it’s HALF of what Scott and her’s age diffrence is, and far more equal in power structure. It’s still not.. GREAT, but my point is you did NOTHING when Scott did this, for far flimiser and less forgiavble reasons.. but when NEIL, whose been nothing but weirdly loyal to you dates her, you want to kick someone’s ass. I mean yes he’s being stupid: in a clear role reversal of the Scott and Knives situation, it’s obvious just from her expression that KNVIES is the one in control here, and the one using someone to ease her own pain. Granted it’s wrong, if not as wrong as Scott should techincally know better and Knives very clearly dosen’t, as well as get into a show of her faviorite band. Is what she’s doing wrong.. yeah... while she can’t see it again it’s what Scott did just not QUITE as fucked up due to not being AS embalanced. Should neil probably be dating her after scott did ? No. But should you be threatning him and not scott for you know, setting all this in motion? No. Jesus christ you suck Steven. 

Thankfully while Scott presumibly calms Stephen down, Kim spots Hollie and her roomate Joseph, who will be suprisingly important. He’s very gay, very quite, very bearded and is only hear because the bass player is hot and when prodded on it....

Well said. Also I read that with John Heder’s voice fo rsome reason.. don’t know why, his career ended as quickly as it began because he REALLY did not pick his films well. He saw that he was going to be in a film with David Spade and Rob Schinder and didn’t fire his agent for suggesting it. Meanwhile Scott and Ramona run into Sandra and Monique, Scott’s old classmates who just sorta.. show up every so oftne, often backing up Julie because every Alpha Bitch needs a posse. As Boscha has proven once you loose your posse you loose your bitchy powers. They also ask if Scott and Ramona are an item which leads to a fantagious visual gag. 

Also Stephen awkardly talks to the new couple, about how much Knives loves the band, and because why start reading the room now just sorta.. CASUALLY slips in the fact he knows her is because she and scott dated. 

Granted Knives action this book really EARNED her that curveball.. but still, it’s transparently clear she’s both not over Scott and Neil’s a placebo, and that she loves the band... how the fuck did you get through college, much less get two loyalish friends Steve. 

Kim tries to hide when she runs into Sarah whose with.. someon O Malley does not know, literally captioning it “I don’t know htis girl”. Fucking love that gag even if SOMEHOW kim is the roomate they all hate. Despite hte fact as the side story will bare out, her roommates are all pretty obnoxious, so i’ts probably because she’s the only sane person in that group and their VERY lucky kim just dind’t set the place on fire on her way out and let god do what he should’ve a long time ago. Also we meet Lynette, the band’s drummer who smokes “She must be evil” “Still hot though”... both accurate. Also Luke wilson is there.. no really. Just holy shit that’s awesome.  Okay so with all of that out of the way, it’s time for the show. So after a full volume’s build up , and a really cool build up in the page before we finally properly meet clash at the demonhead, and miss envy adams. 

Heck of  a reveal and not the only one as ramona realized what the audience probably already guessed....

Dun dun dun! And since I don’t like leaving a cliffhanger dangling lest I have to... we’ll be getting to this next week.. what you thought i’d say right now or tommorow? This was a lot. But no i’m not leaving you too long. Next week, Evil Ex Crossover! Ramona and Wallace become BFF’s! We learn what the deal with Scott and Envy is! Scott faces the Ken to his Ryu! And Wallace gets a boyfriend. All this and more next week. for now...

Final Thoughts: This one.. was a VERY rough one to review and it ties back to this volume’s biggest problem: it is not paced very well. Like the series as a whole it has a pretty easy going, slice of life pace. The only ones without this kind of easy pacing are 3 and 6, and even 3 has some slice of life bits, their just both more focused due to the events going on. This one... well....

Pretty much. While this one has very important stuff going on, Scott and ramona getting closer, ramona getting more fleshed out, Wallace showing how deep his character is, Kim also getting fleshed out quite a bit, Knives showing off her crazy side, setting up the next volume, the second ex fight.. it’s all just kinda.. jumbled together. It’s not really until the knives fight onward the book takes on some really solid pacing and really gets going.It’s not a BAD book: ther’es some REALLY good character stuff as I dug into.. but the pacing is just really loose and without the Evil Ex fight as an anchor and with ramona and scott just sorta.. getting to know one another, in both biblical and non biblical senses, it dosen’t have either of the series main narrative thrusts. Even the knvies subplot really amoutns to nothing for now, as Ramona dosen’t find out Scott’s a cheater, and only distrusts knives now. That’s about it. It does improve on book one in characterization, with eveyrone being MUCH cleearer in terms of who they are and settling into their iconic selves nicely. Wallace’s more selfless and protective side pops up, Ramona starts to show mroe of her personality good and bad, Scott’s better traits are mixed a bit mor eeven with the douche ones,  Knive’s far more unstable and violet stalker side emerges, and Stephen.. well fuck him, point is things are coming together.. but O’Malley still isn’t quite at peak power yet. Not bad and still worth a read like last time, just a bit uneeven is all. That being said... if you want O’Malley at his peak.. well then come back next week. Until then i’ll be doing my usual buisness of reviewing birds, refrencing simpsons and letterkenny, and putting my eyes back in after kim’s look up there. For now the sun’s setting and i’m out of here. 

[nimsajlove]

an old companion

Ahsoka meets an old friend when they crash in a certain desert.

Just a small piece to connect old characters from the films, since the Empire never rose in this AU. Have fun, and my the 4th be with you!

Brothers-AU  Ao3

*~*

With narrowed eyes, Ahsoka looked around and took a deep breath when she saw Luke and Fives walking towards her. Good, they were okay. "I can no longer stand this sand!", Echo cursed next to her and adjusted the glove again, in the end nobody wanted to have to get the fine grains of sand out of the prosthesis. "Complain to Jabba then.", she grinned, even if she didn't feel like it. Her first mission on Tatooine had had an interesting turnaround and she wished she wouldn’t be forced to face Jabba again. Sweaty and exhausted, her two other companions stopped by them and Fives wiped the damp sand dust from his forehead with a disgusted face. Luke seemed less bothered by the ubiquitous heat and sand, but he didn't look happy either. "We won't get the spare part here.", he reported and Ahsoka was tempted to throw her hands in the air angrily. With a mad twinkle in her eyes she looked sharply at the boy who wasn’t really a boy anymore. "And what do we learn from it?", she growled and her Padawan shrugged guiltily. Fives sighed. "Oh well, I can count his crashes on one hand so far.", he joked and now received a reproachful look himself. Then the Jedi relaxed a little and shook her head wearily. 

"Number 6 doesn't count, so I only got five either.", she huffed with a small smile and turned to get back into the ship. The others followed her and together they began to pack bags and backpacks. "And why not? Your fighter was pretty done after it.", Echo asked and Ahsoka shrugged her shoulders. "R7 flew it at the time." As if on cue, the astromech came complaining from the cockpit, everyone smiled. “It's okay, it wasn't your fault either. Come here.", Ahsoka grinned and tied two bags to the droid, R7 complained again. "There is nothing to be done, we will all have to walk to Mos Eisley.", she explained and then shouldered her backpack herself. Loaded with everything they could carry, the group set off. "Put the hood on.", Ahsoka advised her Padawan, she definitely didn't want to hear the whining like after the last sunburn again. Luke seemed to have a similar opinion and pulled the wide hood over his head down to his face. "He's competing with Kenobi.", Fives hissed grinning next to her and Echo smirked.

 Mos Eisley was busier than Ahsoka had expected. On the other hand, neither the Republic nor the Jedi had interfered here since the war. And she personally knew better than to mess with the underworld now. "What exactly are we looking for?", Luke asked skeptically and his Master grinned, an excellent question! "We, my Padawan, are looking for a cheap ride." Echo sighed in agony and Fives shook his head. "What?! Do you have a better idea?“, Ahsoka grinned. "Yes!", snapped her brothers back, but were deliberately ignored. The two clones shuddered at the thought of the last lifts they'd found in such forgotten holes. But Ahsoka always seemed determinded to get home on her own, without any help from the Order. "This is a good opportunity for you to learn something.", she smiled at Luke and that cleared the subject. "And where do we start?" He still sounded reserved, but was no longer a step behind his Master. "Where would you start?", Echo answered with a counter question, now her brothers finally played along! Where would be the fun, if they just let the other Jedi pick them up? "At the port?", suggested the boy and Ahsoka showed them the way. "As long as we don't run back into Ventress.", Fives muttered and Ahsoka suppressed a giggle, she found it extremely amusing how often their paths crossed those of Ventress as soon as she descended into the underworld. The bounty hunter was an interesting contemporary with a strange interpretation of the law. But she shook her head. "She‘s not here, otherwise we would have run into her by now.", she replied just as quietly and pulled her own hood lower over her face as they stepped into the shadow of the port. Jedi were not popular in a place like this and she preferred, not to meet old acquaintances straight away.

As soon as they had stepped into the large place behind the wall, Ahsoka had a dull feeling in her stomach that someone would still recognize her today. She was sure... "There." Luke pulled her out of her thoughts and she followed his hint, a freighter was standing there. YT-1300, but obviously modified. However, these ships were known to be quite reliable. "A good eye Luke, let's go and see if the pilot can be found.", suggested Ahsoka and went straight to i with R7 ahead of her side. The closer they got to the freighter, the more intense the pulling in her stomach became. Somebody was here. With great strides she circled the ship, she wanted to find this pilot as quickly as possible and then leave. In fact, they were lucky. At the top of the ramp, a young man was kneeling on the floor, his arms buried in a narrow flap up to his elbows. He cursed softly before Ahsoka gently patted the ramp with the hard sole of her boots. His head flew up and he gave her a sharp look before he removed his hands from the tangled cables and got to his feet. He seemed older than Luke, maybe by 8 or 9 years? She had always had a hard time guessing the age of people after spending half of her childhood alongside the clones. "What do you want?" Right, that was good. He was direct, meant that this man knew his business.

"We could use a lift.", Ahsoka replied and the man smirked, then shook his head. "Haven't seen Jedi in a while, you don't go outside that often, right?" With a sigh, Ahsoka pulled the hood off her head and crossed her arms. "Okay, what gave me away?", she asked ironically and the man pointed to her figure, while he bent down and picked up his vest from the floor, it had been lying next to him during the repair. “I ran into the last one a year ago and he pulled off the exact same hood-thing. And I don't think I can help you.” Resolutely, he adjusted the vest and glanced behind Ahsoka's group. “There you are at last! We have to go.” Ahsoka followed his gaze and froze. A Wookiee pushed through the crowd at the entrance and saw them. He saw Ahsoka, hesitated, and seemed to be laughing before raising a huge hand in greeting. Ahsoka remembered, even if she didn't like to think back about it. "Chewbacca..." The Wookiee wrapped a huge arm around her shoulders, heartily squashed her back lekku and then patted her lower back. She was grateful for the reserved greeting. Chewbacca looked at the man, went up and asked a question. Ahsoka politely took a few steps back. "What was that?", Luke asked quietly and Ahsoka shrugged. “We worked together once.“ She smiled and slowly thawed again, she had overcome the first shock. A small argument seemed to have broken out on the ramp and Echo laughed softly. "I think he'll have to take us with him now.", he muttered and was proven right. “All right, up with you. I hope you all can handle a gun.” Fives rolled his eyes next to her, but kept his opinion to himself. Together they climbed the ramp and Ahsoka held out her hand to the pilot. "I'm Ahsoka Tano, we won't be a burden to you.", she grinned and the young man returned her handshake. "Han Solo, you already know Chewie." Oh, she had heard the name before! The flight promised to be interesting...

[taleofharrison]

I’ll Never Give You Away | Ashton Irwin

Summary: No summary because I feel that the warnings give too much away and I don’t want to spoil it more but you need to know it is based on the movie Jersey Girl.

Warnings: Death, crying and agnst at the end. Italics are flashbacks and memories 

Prompt: When I take a look at my life and all of my crimes you’re the only thing that I think I got right. - Lover of mine by 5sos

Word Count: 2035

A/N: This is my entry to the writing challenge by @writingfortoomanyfandoms​ I really hope you like it and it’s my first 5sos fic so I’m a little nervous, feedback is appreciated and I’m not a native English speaker I practice my writing skills by writing fanfcition so any comments and tips on that note are welcome too. Enjoy!

As Y/N made her final touches to her make-up she let her brain wander through the memory lane.

“Ash where are you taking me?” Y/N giggled as she let her boyfriend guide her through an empty beach in Australia.

“Princess we’re back home how many times do we get to run on the beaches we grew up?” he answered taking a quick look over his shoulder to look at girl who looked flustered. Even though they’ve been dating for almost 3 years the nickname princess still gave her butterflies and Ashton knew. He loved it.

“I know but can’t you please let go of my arm” she said with a smile. She knew Ashton didn’t hurt her in purpose he was just nervous about what was about to happen “t’s starting to hurt”

“Sorry I just-“ He had gotten to the place he had planned to be with her “D’you remember when we were younger?”

“Yes, we ran away every time we could to this beach” Y/N smiled at the memory “we used to play with the ocean and you asked me here if I wanted to move to California with you”

“I still can’t believe you said yes” he chuckled looking down at his feet “I mean we weren’t anything yet”

“We were best friends that was more than enough to me” the girl smiled again. Ashton loved that smile he can’t even remember when he fell in love with her.

“This beach saw us grow and was a witness of important moments of our history” Y/N giggled at Ashton’s sudden change to deep thinker. She liked it though “That’s why I brought you here, so it can witness another big milestone in our lives”

“When I take a look at my life and all of my crimes you’re the only thing that I think I got right” When Ashton got down on one knee Y/N couldn’t believe it “So Y/N Y/L would you say yes to another of my crazy ideas?” he had a blue velvet box in his hands with the most beautiful ring Y/N had ever seen.

“Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!” with tears in her eyes Y/N throw herself at Ashton’s arms. In that moment they were the happiest people on Earth.

“What are you thinking?” Ashton voice brought her back to reality.

“Just remembering” she said “when you proposed”

“Another time I couldn’t believe you actually agreed with me to do something” he smirked placing a kiss on the top of her head “You ready to go?”

“Yes, just let me get my purse” Y/N sighed a tone of sadness in her voice. Nobody would’ve notice but Ashton knew her better than he knew himself.

“Now what’s the matter?” he asked again getting a questioning look from you “don’t give me that look what’s up?”

Y/N sighed again before speaking “It’s your first Gammy nomination and I’m going with you seven months pregnant. This isn’t exactly how I visualized this moment for us”

“I think you look stunning” Ashton smiled giving her a small peck on the lips “Besides you know you are my lucky charm. Both of you are”

Y/N smiled he always said the right words to help her feel better “Alright Mr. Grammy Award Winner let’s go. We don’t wanna be late”

“I haven’t won anything yet” he laughed.

“Didn’t you say we are your lucky charm?” Y/N smirked with a hint of fun could be found on her words.

“We are 5 seconds of summer thank you for coming tonight” Luke spoke right after the last song. It was the first concert with an actual audience and Ashton.

“I can’t believe they told me that about two hundred people would be seeing us tonight” he complained once he could get back to his best friends all the 12 people there had gone home “They were like 12”

“Well Ash I was the thirteenth person here in the audience” Y/N laughed at his tone of voice and face.

“Nice now you’re making fun of me” he rolled his eyes punching her shoulder playfully.

“Ash it doesn’t matter if I’m the thirteenth person on the venue or the ten thousand one there. I’ll support you every single time” Y/N assured him holding his hand giving it a squeeze “This was only your first gig and I know you’ll go far”

He slightly smiled at your words “You’re right. I’m just taking this too seriously”

“Now you have to properly introduce me to my replacement” Y/N said dragging Ashton with his bandmates.

“Replacements?” he said a hint sound of fun in his voice.

“Well yeah, aren’t they your new best friends now”

A quiet afternoon had been interrupted by three guys bursting in with gifts in hands for Lea, Ashton and Y/N’s baby girl who was just a month away from making her debut into the world.

“One night” Ashton groaned as he closed the door behind them “one night with my wife is all I’m asking you guys”

The Australian boys ignored his complains as they pushed past him making their way to the living room where Y/N and Ashton had been binge watching Friends.

“We were thinking that maybe baby Lea would need some of these” Calum said showing the couple a big shopping bag.

“Guys the baby shower was months ago” Y/N said. She was tired being 8 months pregnant wasn’t easy. It was taking a big toll on her emotionally and physically “this baby has everything she needs by now”

“You never have too many stuffed animals Y/N” this time it was Luke with a big pout on his face “one of these could be the toy that will be her friend for the rest of her childhood”

Y/N laughed of course they came here just to make her laugh. They hadn’t seen her in a while since she barely left the house so close to the due date and with a babysitter in the house. Whether it be Sierra or Crystal Ashton didn’t want Y/N to be alone or outside the house while he was at the studio.

“And maybe we can help get the nursery ready” Michael pointed.

“The nursery’s been ready for weeks arseholes” Ashton told them

“Well we just missed Y/N we wanted to visit her” Calum shrugged

“That’s so sweet!” Y/N exclaimed “But right now isn’t a good time, rain check?”

The boys nodded being escorted by Ashton to the door.

“I know baby” she softly said to the belly “your uncles are crazy, but they are so excited to meet you. We all are”

The day came. Ashton was with you he had taken a few days off the studio, so he could be with Y/N all the way to the hospital to deliver the baby.

“Ok so the suitcase is in the car. I called the boys they know Lea is coming and we’re ready to go” Ashton was trying really hard to keep his cool a thing Y/N found endearing since she knew that his mind must go to a 1000 miles per hour right now.

He drove as fast as he could to the hospital but of course he was second guessing since his pregnant wife came in the car with him going into labor. At the hospital he was quick to fill the paperwork while some nurses took Y/N in a wheelchair.

Once Ashton could go into the hospital room he never left Y/N’s side. He held her hand and talk about all the things he was planning to do with Lea.

“I’m going to teach her how to play drums” he said excitedly with a gleam in his eyes. A gleam Y/N only had seen the day the got married “I’m so excited this is happening”

About two hours later nurse came in to tell the couple that Y/N was ready to go into the delivery room. This is it. They were going to meet their littler girl.

“Now Y/N one more push okay just one more” the doctor asked. Y/N squeezed Ashton hand one last time. The rest is a blur.

They took the baby away from them to clean her up. Ashton heard her crying and he smiled then he saw how Y/N fell asleep in front of him, he whispered her name before the nurses pushed him away kicking him out of the delivery room that’s when he started screaming his wife’s name.

Ashton waited outside the room sitting on the floor head between his knees waiting for a nurse or a doctor to come out and tell him that everything was okay both mother and daughter were ready to see him again and maybe go home tomorrow morning even earlier if possible.

“Mr. Irwin” the voice came from a doctor. Ashton was quick to pick him up the floor “I’m sorry but we did what we could. Y/N…she’s gone”

Ashton world couldn’t believe what supposed to be one of the happiest days of his life became the most bittersweet day. The doctor kept speaking but he just didn’t listen was he was saying the room around became black while tears came down his eyes.

“…on the other hand, you have a beautiful healthy baby girl waiting to meet you right there” the doctor said in the most neutral tone possible pointing at what was Y/N’s hospital room “One more time I’m so sorry for your lost”

Ashton was again crying on the floor. He wanted more than anything to meet Lea, but he wasn’t ready he just couldn’t see her in that moment and as if on cue three loud Australian boys came in looking for the Irwin family balloons and even more toys in hands.

“Where’s our niece?” Michael asked with a pink bunny balloon in hand. His smiled faded away the moment he saw his friend.

“And my goddaughter?” Luke’s tone changed from happy to dull in less than a second “What? Where?”

“Y/N…she couldn’t-“ Ashton was struggling for the words to came out but his voice kept breaking “the doctor said…Lea’s there and I just can’t pick myself up to see her”

“Hey hey hey Ash it’s okay it’s hard” Calum kneeled to be on eye level with Ash “We know you want to grieve and we have no idea how you must be feeling but right now you’re all that little girl has and we are here” Calum turned to see Luke and Michael tears in their eyes “We will always be here and we will help you with everything you need”

He picked Ashton from the shoulders so he could stand up at the same time “Now go in there and hold Lea we will wait here”

Ashton took a deep breath and pushed the door open and there she was, a beautiful girl sleeping in a pink blanket he just stared down at her “she looks like you” he whispered up to the sky “I’ll do my best with her I promise” he whispered again to the sky.

Lea started to cry. Ashton was quick to pick her up “It’s okay” he whispered against his head “I know you miss mommy I miss her too and when you grow I’ll tell you everything about her but right now it’s just and me against the world”

She kept crying but not as loudly “Do you want me to sing you a song?” he asked even though she couldn’t answer “Your mommy’s favorite was Lover of Mine maybe that’ll work”

He softly hummed the lyrics “I'll never give you away 'cause I've already made that mistake if my name never fell off your lips again I know it'd be such a shame when I take a look at my life

and all of my crimes you're the only thing that I think I got I right I'll never give you away…I’ll never give you away” and his little girl was asleep again.

He understood in that moment that he needed to be strong for her and to support her as best as he could the rest of her life. He opened the door and peaked his head.

“Hey do you want to meet you niece?”

Gif not mine 

[doberbutts]

On Crate Training

Let’s be real here, there are about to be a lot of puppies in my house. A frankly ridiculous amount of puppies. Way too many puppies.

And so, the blog gets to be topical regarding my current situation.

I maintain that a crate is the best tool for a new dog someone could possibly have. Besides the obvious use- having a contained place for the dog to be- there are plenty of other reasons to crate train a dog. Many surgeries and injuries will require the dog to be contained, usually kenneled or caged. Travelling in a car is safer in a crate, and if you fly with anything besides a service dog, the dog will need to be contained somehow there too. If dogs aren’t getting along, or if someone needs a break from someone else, a crate’s a great tool to manage that issue. It can cut down on potty training problems and destructive behavior. Finally. a crate can keep your dog safe in situations where they will be unsupervised for long periods, which is great for people who work or attend classes.

And a lot of people who crate train puppies will retire the use of a crate after the dog is a certain age! Some dogs will always be safer crated- these are dogs who are destructive or aggressive but are contained and safe within their box. But some dogs will be able to go crateless and never see it again. Creed, for instance, is crateless in my room and is generally only crated in the main house if he has aggravated his shoulder injury, if he’s overly hot and needs to cool down (or just after eating for bloat prevention), or if we’re switching around dogs who don’t get along or who resource guard. This is the way it’s been for him since he was about 2.5 years old, and would have likely been sooner if we did not live with a dog that was less than half his size but still wanted to eat his face.

If you’re really not comfortable with crating, you have two other options: xpens, or gating off a puppy-safe puppy-proof room and hoping your flooring and walls withstand the wrath of a bored and sad dog while you’re out of the house.

Something I did with Tiki, which I don’t commonly do with dogs, was hook an xpen to her crate so she could decide to go in there if she wanted, or she could hang out in the bigger “freedom” of her xpen. Tiki was a special case, because she was very sick and also had no ability to control her bladder for longer than an hour or two, so she needed access to her potty pad while I was at work and also needed the option of sleeping in a bed right next to a space heater so she could be warm. I’ll probably do something similar with Fae until I know her schedule, though I ended up not liking that I had gotten lazy regarding taking Tiki out (especially at night in the winter) and thus her outside potty training had taken longer than it needed to because I was heavily relying on her just going on the pad.

Mocha, my parents’ chow mix, seems to be claustrophobic and will panic and injure herself against the crate no matter how much we tried to make the crate a safe place for her. She’s also not comfortable with any sort of restrictive training device, being restrained, or being confined to other tight spaces like a bathtub or a closet or under a piece of furniture. As a result, we completely dog-proofed a room in the house for her, took off her crate’s door so she could still have the option of laying in it without scaring herself if she wanted, and left her to it during her young puppy years. If your dog truly won’t crate train, this is always a fine alternative if you have the ability! We had also tried this with Queenie, my childhood german shepherd, but she destroyed the flooring and door of that room, so when she passed and we had to renovate it for Mocha, we ended up having to fix a lot of that damage. YMMV- Queenie was incredibly noise sensitive and would panic and hurt herself in thunderstorms or during fireworks.

In any case, no matter what avenue you end up choosing, a few things to keep in mind are:

make it a positive place! This is not a place to be put as a punishment, but somewhere the dogs should want to go. I almost exclusively feed my dogs in crates until they’re old enough to be crateless. As a result, the dogs see me get their food bowls out of their crates and run in wagging their tails because they know food’s about to come. They get special crate-only toys and treats and beds too, so if I hand Creed a kong while he’s out he’ll go looking for a crate to hide and enjoy his treat without the other dogs bothering him.

make it a safe place! Unless the crate is more than big enough for it and both dogs get along with absolutely zero tension, I treat crates like personal bedrooms. My dogs are crated separately and they know which crate to go in without having to be directed. Dogs don’t bother you while you’re in the crate, and they can’t get you in there. If your dog wants to stay in their crate, don’t drag them out.

make it cozy! If the dog can be trusted with a bed, give them something warm and soft to lay on! In the summer, put a cooling mat in there! If your dog likes privacy, cover it so it’s nice and dark and comfortable. If your dog likes to feel like they’re part of the household, put the crate uncovered where there’s a lot of people that hang out (our dog room is right between our office and our living room). Some people like giving their dogs things like calming scents/oils/sprays/toys, or they play music or white noise, or they put a hot water bottle in with the dog (I don’t do this with weaned puppies), or they use one of those heartbeat snuggle toys (I also don’t do this with weaned puppies).

make it fun! Look up crate games and practice a few of them! Put going in and out of the crate on a cue, or throw a treat or toy in there and play crate-fetch, or play the in-out game, your choice. Make the crate a good and fun place to be, so that your dog understands that it’s not bad to be in there.

make it fair! Like all tools, it’s possible to misuse or overuse a crate. People who work 10+ hours a day for instance should look into other options- perhaps a dog room or xpen, or hiring a dogwalker/dogsitter to come by a few times a day to let your dog out, or figure out a schedule where you can come home between classes or shifts to do it yourself. I had a brain injury a few years ago and was confined to my bedroom for much of my recovery, and I definitely began to resent that my world was so restricted. Imagine how your dog feels, restricted to a small box for a large portion of their day. There’s only 24 hours in a day, if you’re out of the house for 8 hours and also asleep for 8 hours, that leaves a third of the day (but probably less with commutes etc) for your dog to have some “out” time. If you’re out or asleep for any longer than that, it’s even less. People who work 10 hours, with an hour commute, and also sleep 8 hours, leave their dog with just 4 hours of “out” time per day. It’s little wonder why these dogs hate their crates or why they’re wild when you are home.

tough it out! Don’t fall into the common trap of letting the puppy out of the crate every time it squeaks. Don’t fall into the common trap of only ever putting the puppy in the crate when you’re about to leave. Don’t fall into the common trap of yelling at your puppy for being sad that you locked it in a box. These are all things people tend to do when crate training and they all make this take much longer than they need to.

A roommate just got a standard poodle pup they’ll be showing in conformation, and we’re going over all of this even with this puppy. Right now he’s hanging out and having a nap in his crate with the door wide open. He was crated due to being unsupervised, and then the door was opened and he chose to stay in there and go back to sleep. That’s okay! If he decides he wants to leave, he can. He’s learning that we won’t bother him while he’s in there (outside of emergencies of course), but also that that’s where he goes if he can’t be watched, even if he can still hear and see his owner. He has some puppy-specific treats and toys in there, and the door’s open so of course the established adults would really like to steal them, but we’re enforcing that that’s not allowed either.

So now we have two established adults just hanging out and leaving him alone (even though both would really like to play Squish The Puppy) and the new kid in the house sprawled out in his open crate being left to his own devices. Dogs are den animals, and the two adults that are hanging out are used to this type of training. That’s his den, so they’re not invited in there, so they leave him and his stuff alone.

And, eventually, he might join the established adults and be crateless too when he’s old enough and knows some house manners. Right now, though, it’s an important tool to both keep him safe and also show him that he’s allowed to ask for a break from us just like we might put him in there so we can have a break from him.

[ivybeck]

hello !! my name is em and i’m from australia so my hours are gonna be whack just a heads up 🙃 anyway this is ivy and she’s serving some ex-mean girl / woman in crisis / still exuding new york it girl vibes — we love to see it. under the cut i’ll link her google doc with all her info & some extra stuff just for fun! if you’d like to plot chuck this a like & i’ll slide into your dms or my d*scord is ems#6635 and you can reach me there too !! let’s go

*       ADELINE RUDOLPH + CIS FEMALE + SHE/HER —— have you seen IVY BECKER around? they’re a/an TWENTY-FOUR year old NANNY known around town as the ATONER. not only are they broke af, but they’ve been in town for TWO YEARS. they’re INDEPENDENT + WITTY, as well as RETICENT + CYNICAL, but what else would you expect from a AQUARIUS? three aesthetics.   * OOC INFO: em. 21. aest/gmt +10. she/her.

here is ivy’s google doc (trigger warnings for mentions of physical and verbal abuse) where you’ll find her stats & backstory

but for a condensed version:

she was a classic high school prom queen mean girl type, and had a seemingly charmed childhood but was also subject to abuse by her mother.

her parents divorced when she was about sixteen, and she moved to new york to be a blair waldorf type in manhattan. applied for nyu and attended for three years before she was booted out. at the same time, her father was arrested for embezzlement.

essentially, ivy came home 2 years ago with her tail between her legs and trying to make amends and just... get by.

personality wise, she’s way more mature, measured, warm, and patient than she was pre-father’s arrest/nyu booting her/etc. but there are still remnants of that ruthlessness and cattiness.

wanted connections! i have a few :) i’m also big on chemistry so completely fine with just building on some stuff or going off vague ideas. i have a wanted connection tag but like... i’m still building it up.

high school friends — would have been an unholy trinity from glee / friendship group from before i fall / the plastics kind of vibes. maybe they’re still friends and can tragically reminisce with one another, or maybe they’re highkey embarrassed and awkward around each other for the way they behaved in high school.

high school sweethearts / exes in general — could have been a genuine relationship or a high intensity young love kind of vibe. maybe they were each other’s firsts? either way, they’re back in each other’s lives! cue: ‘tis the damn season.mp3

high school enemies — maybe it was a cher / amber from clueless vibes where they ran in similar circles, or maybe it was a quinn fabray / rachel berry vibe where ivy wasn’t the nicest to your character.

work friends — not super conventional work friends, but maybe you’ve hired ivy for your kids / your siblings / your siblings kids / etc.

friends or enemies with benefits — we can decide just how much we like each other, but the general point here is that they’re hooking up on a semi-regular basis.

friends — ivy needs ‘em! they probably don’t know too much about her history, or they do and they just don’t judge. come on, she needs someone to drink $8 wine and eat fries with at 11pm on a saturday night instead of crying.

[mlepclaynos99]

💛 Family (Christmas Morning) 💛

The last chapter to the 12 Days of Peraltiago I’ve been writing!

Summary: It's Christmas morning at the Peralta-Santiago household!

Read on AO3

Or

Amy had the best memories of Christmas morning; waking up to the smell of her mother’s cooking, the excitement to open up presents that would have her up earlier than ever, rushing to wish her parents a Merry Christmas before trying to sneak a present, betting with her brothers on who could finish breakfast the fastest, and then the opening of presents that every kid looked forward to. She would remember Christmases where she would sit in her dad’s lap waiting for him to figure out how to assemble the elaborate dollhouse she had gotten as a gift and the other times she spent running around the house to stop her brothers from taking her presents to tease her, only do the same to them. But what she remembered the most was among the chaos of 8 children running around on Christmas morning, her parents always made sure that as the morning mayhem was over, they would pack themselves in their living room, and everyone would sit around, keeping their new toys aside for some time, playing games and singing together.

Jake on the other hand, had no holiday memories; his only excitement during the season was for winter break from school which meant no homework, he could stay up all late watching all his favourite movies and TV shows, and eating ice cream or anything else he whenever he wanted. The first few years he had tried to remember what his parents would do for the holidays only for nothing to come up in mind, perhaps because his parents were constantly arguing and if there were any happy moments, he had shoved them so far back in his mind with the horrible ones. All he remembered about the holidays was his mom leaving super early and telling him to wake up only for him to never listen to her, and the same amount of money she would always leave for him to order his favourite pizza for dinner. Christmas morning was like any other morning for him; just him all alone at home letting the time pass until he fell asleep on the couch. The one faint memory that made him smile was the brief moment he would wake up in the middle of the night to feel a blanket being put over him and his mom’s whispered good night before she kissed his forehead.

Now they had had their own family and their own Christmas mornings.

The Peralta-Santiago Christmas morning always started off with Jake being the first one up as he let Amy sleep in just long enough for him to brew her the cup of coffee she needed every morning. Jake was never an early riser, but having kids changes how you sleep, in that now he and Amy got to sleep when the kids slept. But Christmas morning was the exception he always made for his wife and kids.

He always heard Amy’s reminiscent stories about how she loved waking up the smells of cinnamon and sugar, that made her want to run to the kitchen, and he knew it wasn’t the smells of Cinnamon Toast Crunch he would eat on Christmas morning that she was talking about. Jake knew he wasn’t a great cook, but he also knew he wished his kids would one day grow up and tell happy stories about Christmas – that when they thought of dad on Christmas, it would bring a smile to their face, not a sadness.

So dutifully, he would plug in the fancy earbuds Amy had bought him as a gift two years ago (even after they promised no big gifts in preparing for their daughter’s arrival) and began making breakfast for his family. Jamming out to Taylor Swift, he rolled up the sleeves of his reindeer pajama tops to make the pancakes his wife and kids loved. Diligently working in the kitchen, he didn’t notice when Amy had walked into the kitchen.

She had woken up to an empty bedside and today was the only time she didn’t mind, knowing there was a steaming hot cup of coffee waiting for her in the kitchen along with her husband (who she would describe just like that coffee). Arms wrapped around herself to keep from the cold as she watched Jake busy at work, using the same focus he used when he was at work to place cinnamon rolls made by his best friend into the oven, which she knew was because she had made a passing comment about loving them. Walking up to him as he turned back to his pancakes, he looked around their kitchen and understanding exactly what he was looking for – which being married for 7 year does – she picked up the cookie cutters off the dish rack. Wrapping her arms around him, stopping him in his search with a smile, she held the two metal objects in front of him.

“Snowman for Bella and gingerbread man for Mac.”

Turning to face after taking the cookie cutters, Jake found himself engulfed in his sleepy wife’s arms and he wished he could have stayed there for the entire day as she leaned in to kiss him.

“Merry Christmas sweetheart.” He mumbled into the top of her while she rested her head on his chest, their fronts meeting so he could put his arms around her.

“Merry Christmas babe.” She placed her lips against his neck, holding him tight knowing this was moment of peace before their kids woke up and there chaotic Christmas cheer in their home.

Finally parting back from him when a yawned escaped her, Amy leaned against the counter, watching Jake chuckling in his own amusement as he poured chocolate chip pancake batter filling the outlines of the cookie cutter on the pan, making breakfast in festive shapes for his kids. He really was one of those dads and it took everything in her power to not pull his cheeks, realizing he was above and beyond what either of their dads every did. Seeing him yawn, she forwarded her mug towards him, which he absentmindedly sipped from too busy with his pan. Amy wasn’t lying when she later told their kids it looked like he would once again being fed the gross jellybean flavours from their BeanBoozled game. Quickly apologizing as she bit her tongue to hold back her laugh, she fixed him his type of coffee as he started making pancakes for her sans chocolate chips.

As he set up their breakfast table, Amy knew she had to double check she had put all the presents under the tree and all the stockings were completely stuffed. Doing her part in the living room, she picked up the cookies and milk the kids had left out for Santa and moved the coffee table aside knowing they needed the space for the kids to open their presents. Bringing out the Christmas themed throws and placing them on their couch, she looked around the house satisfied as Jake pulled out the cinnamon rolls, letting the fragrance of the spice fill their home. Only able to kiss his cheek as a thank you for bringing a piece of childhood into her Christmas morning, she felt his arm linking into hers as he proudly smiled on.

Walking into their son’s room, they found it empty and look at each other with worried looks before they heard giggles from the room next door belonging to their daughter. Shaking their heads, they walked into Bella’s room finding their two-year-old and five-year-old talking amongst themselves as if hiding a big secret. Clearing his throat, the two kids looked at them like they had been caught hiding cookies Bella’s dresser again but relaxed as Jake brought out his deep Santa voice.

“Merry Christmas children!”

Separating themselves as the kids squeals jumping off the bed, Jake immediately kneeled down and had his arms opened for them to fill. Almost knocking the wind out of him as the two kids jumped to give him hugs, yelling Merry Christmas, Amy kneeled down in laughter as the kids turned to her.

“Merry Christmas Macaroon!” She kissed the top of Mac’s head as he yelled Merry Christmas, clearly this being his favourite day after his birthday.

“Merry Christmas Bella!” She repeated the same with their daughter who had not inherited the same energy levels as Jake, rather was more like her mother and softly kissed Amy’s cheek before she wished her with an equally soft voice.

“Mewry Chwistmas mommy!”

“What about dad?” Jake sat cross legged on the floor with now empty arms and a pout on his face that made Amy remember she had three kids at times.

“You already got hugs!” And sometimes, she joined in the childish behaviour, especially when it came to getting their children’s attention.

Bella rushed back to Jake’s arms, casually sitting on his lap and putting her arms around his neck as he grinned proudly at Amy.

“I’m her favourite!”

“Mom’s my favourite!” Mac spoke up before Amy had the chance to say anything and Jake looked on offended as it was Amy’s turned to proudly smile while squeezing their son in a tight hug.

As the children laughed about their parents being silly again, Amy suddenly remembered how they all ended up in the same room and turned to the kids, knowing very well they were up to something.

“So what were you munchkins doing?”

As if it was a cue that set them off, Mac and Bella ran back to her bed. Getting off the floor slower than their kids, Jake and Amy shared a look wondering what was going on, a knowingly look that they were about experience the joys of being a parent or the not so fun side of parenting.

For the first time, they watched both their children shyly shuffling their feet and keeping their eyes lowered as they forwarded a folded paper to them, Mac nudging his baby sister to say “Merry Christmas” with him. Accepting what they realized was a card, they sat down on the tiny toddler bed, Bella once again climbing onto Jake’s lap. Amy opened the card revealing Mac’s kindergarten writing spelling out happy holidays and stick figure drawings of the four of them. He definitely had Jake’s writing and artistic abilities, but what made the parents smile prouder than they had been earlier was the scribbled “from Mac and Bela”, their daughter’s misspelled name written in a pen Mac had clearly picked up earlier this morning. They both knew this was probably a school craft Mac had made before the holidays, but his thoughtful gesture of helping his sister scribble her name onto it made it all the more special.

“This might be the best present we’ve ever gotten, don’t you think?” Amy looked at Jake while the brother and sister hi-fived at their success.

“Definitely! It’s best present from the best children.” Sandwiching their kids into a hug, Jake looked up at Amy both wanting to tell the other about amazing their kids were. Carefully closing the card, Amy knew it was going to go up on the fridge and in a special box in her closet after the new year.

“Now pancakes are getting cold! No one want breakfast today?” Jake picked Bella up as she clapped her hands in excitement, watching Mac run out of the room knowing exactly what was waiting on the breakfast table.

Less than an hour later, the kitchen was full of empty dishes and fireplace held into empty stockings. Amy had taken up cleaning the kitchen while Jake made sure the kids would be bathed and ready for opening their big presents. They must have really worked out their timing in the last two years as Amy had just taken a seat on the couch when she heard her three favourite people running out of the rooms ready for presents.

Before they knew it, there was wrapping paper all over the place, the kids had been laughing as they uncovered all the gifts they had gotten. Mac was jumping in front of Amy, asking her to show him how his remote-controlled robot toy worked while Bella was once again seated Jake’s lap, patiently watching him assemble her new activity table asking questions about every part he was adding on and then removing when he misread the instructions.

Looking eyes from across the room, Jake and Amy shared a serene smile. It was perfect & the day had just begun.

A short while later

As candy canes lay on the coffee table, a display of tiny gingerbread houses along their kitchen island, Jake & Amy heard their children singing along to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. The bright lights reflected the ribbons, bows, and wrapping paper all over the living room carpet, which they walked past to stand under the mistletoe placed in the corner by their framed holiday cards to sneak a moment away from the kids busy with their toys. 

Soon changed from their matching PJs to their matching sweaters and Santa hats, they sat down on the couch with their children in their laps. As snow gently further covered the city outside, the family of four was sipping on Jake’s signature hot chocolate watching Christmas movies.

In the middle of watching Elf, when Bella was almost asleep against Jake’s chest and Mac was busy in the movie resting on Amy’s arm, Jake glanced over at Amy. Sharing a soft smile with the woman who had every part of his life better, he looked down at their children momentarily before he finally said the words she had never heard in all the years of being with him.

“I love the holidays.”

Reaching past their kids, Amy grabbed his hand before they turned back to their movie. She blinked back a tear knowing he had always loved the holidays, but never had a family to make him realize the same. Snuggling in closer to their kids, she ran her free hand over Mac’s hair, feeling lucky enough to be the one to build a family with him. And the gratefulness for their perfect little family just grow more with every Christmas morning.