#//and its not like confidence is a bad thing my insecurity is in the negatives it affects my lil scrimblos /pos

[lieblxng]

bio: phae is full of themselves

the phae i write: actually a sweetheart, hasn't boasted about itself once and will go on a several-hour lecture about how wonderful life is

[loganwritesprobably]

– Sanji with the 2° genre, prompt (u.) 🍡

You know, I never would've paired this prompt with Sanji, but I think its more harsh nature pairs itself well with a masculine reader, so that's what I'll do! This ended up being pretty long so everything is under the cut

Since this is the first one I'll be posting like this I'll just explain - anything where you only requested one character, I assumed was to be paired with a Reader, since I struggled with making a lot of them work as a solo thing.

Content/warnings: Sanji/M!Reader, hurt/comfort, getting together, reader is insecure, Sanji is kinda cruel at the start whoops, Sanji has a gay awakening

You'd been acting off all day, you knew you had, and while the crew hadn't mentioned it you were aware they'd noticed and that they were beginning to worry. Generally, you kept in high spirits. Not today. It wasn't any much, your insecurities had just been getting to you lately. You also felt ridiculous for letting that spoil your mood all day, which was only making your mood worse. You were the least attractive person on the crew, in your opinion (outside of Chopper because who is calling a kid attractive). Most days, you let yourself be confident in the fact that it didn't matter because that didn't make you ugly and you had a good personality so why did looks matter. Some days it bothered you anyway.

You were docked at an island while the log pose set, and pretty much all of the crew had received attention from people (of their preferred gender and not), outside of Chopper, but again, he didn't count (and he'd still had a group of teenage girls call him cute). You? You'd not gotten a single comment or even a look. It just made your stomach twist. It was stupid and you knew it, but it was eating you up inside. Worrying about that just led to more worrying about other things and you were spiralling a little even if you were attempting to pretend you weren't. It wasn't working.

"What's your problem?" Sanji asked as he emerged from the kitchen having just finished cleaning all the dishes from lunch.

"I don't want to talk about it, Sanji." He'd not gotten much attention from women, but oh boy had Sanji gotten attention from men. He'd brushed every one of them off, rather unkindly, and that hurt too. You'd had a bit of a crush on Sanji for ages now, but moments like that told you that you couldn't ever share that fact with the cook.

"Then stop moping! It doesn't help anything, and it's not great for the mood on board." He retorted with a roll of his eyes, and you rubbed a hand over your face with a sigh. You didn't want to lash out, but you really didn't have the emotional availability to be kind in that moment.

"Sorry Sanji, my bad, I'll just pack it all up and ignore it all - God forbid I have fucking feelings." You snapped, pushing off the railing of the Sunny where you'd been leaving to walk away. You didn't want to deal with his shitty attitude today of all days.

-·—·-—-·—·-

You'd hidden away to calm yourself down, then taken a shower to release some of the negative feelings you'd had pent up. Residual negative emotions lingered, of course they did, but you were more prepared to push them aside and put on a happy face. You emerged on the deck and sat down with Robin to talk about the book she'd been reading, allowing yourself and your better mood to be more easily seen by the crew.

"What happened? You really looked upset." Nami asked after a few minutes, having come to sit in her usual spot beside Robin.

"Oh, nothing. Just had a chat with Sanji." You said with a shrug, smiling at them as best as you could.

"I hope you're not spoiling these ladies days with your foul mood." Sanji said as he appeared with two drinks, one for each of the ladies in question. Robin and Nami snapped their heads to look at him, unbelieving he could be so cruel.

"No don't worry Sanji - I took your advice and just got over it. Won't catch me moping again. I'll keep that to myself from now on." You replied, mock kindness on your face and in your voice. You weren't going to start an argument with him, but that didn't mean you couldn't be passive aggressive at least. He fixed a hard gaze on you, but kept his smile in place. Wisely, he said nothing, and left the drinks for Nami and Robin before swiftly returning to the kitchen.

-·—·-—-·—·-

You spent the rest of the day avoiding Sanji, even having asked Robin to save you a plate of food so you could eat away from the rest of the crew and mainly away from Sanji. She'd delivered your plate loyally, and just gave you a smile before leaving you to eat in peace.

Eventually though, the plate did need to be returned to the kitchen. It'd long since gone dark, and you were just hoping that Sanji was elsewhere by now.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," you heard muttered from the kitchen, pausing outside to listen to whoever was so frustrated inside, "can't even be nice just for once. He just makes me so-" it was Sanji, of course it was. You weren't sure what else you'd been expecting. But he was in there, scolding himself, and it sounded like he was doing it over how he'd treated you.

You didn't knock, just pushed open the door and let yourself in, plate still in hand. Sanji stopped stock still, staring at you as if he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't have. You gently set the plate down on the table, pausing for a moment before turning as if to leave again.

"Wait-" Sanji called out, making you pause. There was another beat of silence while the cook found his words.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, hesitating before continuing, "I was unnecessarily cruel. You didn't deserve that."

"Yeah." You simply said, because just saying that wouldn't make him forgiven. You'd never done anything to him, you'd both just always had a joking friendship, where you'd take playful jabs at each other. They were never genuinely cruel.

"I just-" he paused again, fighting with himself to find his words, "you make me.. feel a lot of things that I don't know how to deal with. I just look at you and it all.. bubbles up inside of me and for some reason the only thing that ever gets out is something mean. What I said earlier was too far, and I am sorry. I was just worried." He finished, and you finally turned to face him. Sanji was flushed red, wringing his hands as if he was fighting not to put them elsewhere - his hair your brain helpfully supplied.

"Okay," you started, nodding slowly, "but that isn't a good reason. You didn't even try to get me to tell you. You didn't probe at all, you were rude when you asked what was wrong and then accused me of ruining the atmosphere on the Sunny. That's what you told me and best you can come up with is you were 'feeling a lot of feelings'?" You asked, growing more and more angry, but also more upset. You knew you couldn't have Sanji the way that you wanted him, but you'd at least wanted him as a friend. Maybe that was too much to ask for.

"I'm sorry! I'm not good with words - I can't make my brain tell my mouth what I'm thinking and I really want to help you understand even if you don't forgive me." You would forgive him, you knew you would, this would be petty to lose him over and would jeopardise the crew. But you couldn't be the same after this.

"Try."

"It's different than with other people. You feel- you make me feel different. I don't understand why. I just look at you and it's like.. the whole world stops moving for a minute," Sanji leaned forward, resting his hands on the table and stared right down at the wood rather than looking at you, "I've never felt like that before. It's scary. How am I meant to deal with something I don't understand? So I'm mean to you instead because maybe then it'll go away? I know it sounds stupid. And then when we're out and people look at you.. something just comes over me. I hate it. I just glare at them until they back down because they're not allowed to look at you like that."

You understood suddenly what Sanji was talking about. All this time you'd been so sure of what you couldn't have and in the background Sanji was having his gay awakening because of you. You were desperately trying to hold back, but you couldn't help laughing. He shot up straight as if he'd been struck, wounded by your laughter.

"I'm sorry- I know this is serious. I promise I'm not laughing at you, just the situation really. Sanji.. you have a crush on me. That's what that is." You told him, slowly approaching to close the space between you two.

"No! I- I like women." He defended, but he was hesitant, as if your words had given him clarity.

"Sure. But you also like me."

The two of you stood, silent, staring at each other. You, waiting for Sanji to decide what the next move was, and Sanji, processing the new information. In retrospect, he realised it was a little obvious.

"I acted like a little boy pulling on a girl's pigtails." Sanji muttered, suddenly a little humiliated.

"Yeah, a little bit." You agreed, and the cook just sighed. You both fell into quiet laughter finally, the tension of the entire situation drifting away.

"So uh.." Sanji started after a while, you let him find his words before responding, "what now?"

"That's up to you. I've liked you back for a damn long while now, but you've only just realised. You can go and take your time to process that new part of yourself if you w-" you didn't get to finish your sentence before Sanji's lips were on yours for the first time.

Yeah, now you definitely wouldn't be the same after this.

Requests are open! See below links for my other works, and how to leave requests. I write both canon/canon and canon/reader requests for your enjoyment

AO3 | Fanfic Masterlist | Request Rules | Fic Trades Guide | WIPs

Tags: @claryeverlarkf

[miracles-and-butterflies]

[Communication with the Madrigals]

Mirabel: Here’s a hypothetical scenario: you are starting to feel exhausted and have the option to take a break for an hour, what would you do?

Luisa: Tell myself there’s always more work to do and get back to it.

Mirabel: No.

~~~

Camilo: I don’t pay attention to the negative.

Mirabel: That’s good! What a wonderful ideal to live by��

Camilo: Oh but not by choice, its the ADHD.

Camilo: And I’m sure my Autism plays into it somewhere.

Camilo: Also, that insecurity where I think people like everyone I can be more than the real me that leaves awake at night and pulling at my hair when I start feeling stressed.

Mirabel:

Mirabel: Okay, I have no understanding of any of that, so I’m going to find a nice therapist for you.

Camilo: Thanks. Make sure they like musicals, it will help me communicate better.

~~~

Dolores: I already have a therapist to help with my Autism and Selective Mutism.

Mirabel: Really? That’s great.

Dolores: Yes. Mariano’s poetry is great. Listening to it is very therapeutic.

Mirabel:

~~~

Mirabel: Isabela, what do you think you could say to yourself when you are feeling like this?

Isabela: My perfectionism may be chronic but my hair is iconic.

Mirabel, becoming visibly more distressed: …no

~~~

Antonio: To help take my mind off bad things, me and Luisa volunteered at a pet shop!

Mirabel, thinking she’s finally getting somewhere: That is brilliant, Antonio! And what did you both take from this experience?

(Puppy noises coming from Luisa’s bag)

Antonio: uh just a lot of confidence

~~~

Mirabel: Um… I don’t get why I’m here? I don’t have anything to talk about.

Dolores: Really? You can’t think of any reason why you’re here?

Isabela: Not your PTSD?

Luisa: And all your anxiety before that?

Camilo: Your lack of self worth?

Antonio: You say “I’m fine” a lot.

Mirabel, quietly: …I feel like I’m going to have a panic attack.

Dolores: Let’s discuss that.

[thesupreme316]

aew stars and their form of aftercare??

darius martin, dante martin, hook, action andretti, ricky starks, eddie kingston, wheeler yuta, santana, ortiz, & mjf??

you could even do two parts if it's all too much for one :)

AEW STARS HEADCANON: Aftercare

Pairings: Darius Martin x Reader, MJF x Reader, Eddie Kingston x Reader, Hook x Reader, Action Andretti x Reader, Dante Martin x Reader, Ricky Starks x Reader, Wheeler Yuta x Reader, Santana x Reader

Word Count: 952

Supreme Speaks: hey yall, thanks to bae @hooks-martin for requesting this. I hope everyone enjoys it (its a big one boys). Also this is gender neutral. Please remember that you are loved and appreciated.

Warnings: not proofread, suggestive content, GIFS AINT MINE

Taglist: @hooks-martin @hookerforhook @wwenhlimagines @sheinthatfandom @triscillal @eddie-kingstons-wifey @cassie0sstuff @batzy-watzy

Darius Martin

This man is so damn romantic it’s not even funny

First, he would ask if you are okay and get you some water, clean you up etc.

I feel like this man is so with the idea of talk to their lover about everything and nothing

He loves to hear your perspective on various things

He just wants to lay in your presence

Kisses any marks you have and tells you how good of a job you did

“Let me kiss it better”

Darius is so gentle with you that anyone would think that he couldn’t hurt a fly (say that to your ass-)

Hook

Sir is very much gentle with you

Will lift you up and take you to the shower/bath

Washes up with you and even scrubs your back and legs

Gives you a hoodie to wear

Ya’ll will watch a show together while entangling your legs

If y’all get another round on, cool

If y’all don’t, also cool

He’s down with whatever

Hook doesn’t speak much after sex but his actions lets you know how much he loves you

Action Andretti

I think Andretti is so damn sweet

Cleans you up, makes sure you have water and a snack near, everything

Man would message you

If sees any marks on you, he would feel bad yet proud

Like he was able to produce that but is upset that your body prolly feels bad

He delicately kisses you everywhere

Loves it when you wear his shirt afterwards

Will literally do everything you ask and more

Ricky Starks (Round 4 I mean-)

THIS MAN IS A TEASE

He would tease you about how you sounded and great you felt

Will take you to a shower to clean up

But in actuality, you’re having another round in there

He literally can’t keep his hands off of you

Will kiss your marks and any areas that you feel “Insecure” about (BITCH YOU DON’T HAVE ANY)

Ricky will pull you closer as you two just take in each other’s breathing

…

And then you would have another round-

Eddie Kingston

This is your lover and best friend wrapped into one

Will joke about your session to make you laugh

Eddie is a romantic person but not an overly romantic person or soft guy

Has a different way of aftercare (not saying anything negative)

After making sure you’re okay/not hurt, Eddie will throw one of his shirts at you for you to put it on

Then you make your way down stairs where you two are eating pizza or burgers or cake, it don’t matter to him

Will make sure your confidence is through the roof when ya’ll are done

Literally just wants to make sure that you’re smiling and happy

Or he’s out like a light…he can’t help it sometimes

Wheeler Yuta

Mr. I-did-a-great-job-but-i-need-your-validation is here

Will ask you if you’re okay…and then waits for your praise

You have to be careful cause that’s how you turn him on too

At this point, you’re giving him aftercare

He likes to be babied

If anything you have to drag him to the shower to clean up

Wheeler loves to be taken care of (CAUSE HE’S A BRAT)

Immediately is clingy after the shower

Will not let you leave the bed…you tried and he just pulled you back down in a headlock

Santana

MANS CUDDLES AND THEN COOKS FOR YOU AND THEN YOU EAT IN BED (THIS IS MY FANTASY)

You don’t have to move a muscle

He cleans you up, he puts his shirt on you, you literally don’t have to ask for anything (IT COMES WITH THE SERVICE)

As you’re sitting/eating/waiting he’s just whispering sweet things in your ear

If you allowed him to, he would go on a trip about how good you are to him

Santana will hold you for hours on end

I believe that he would ignore the world until you fall asleep

And then and only then can he fall asleep too

Santana is that man who puts your needs before his

Dante Martin

Takes this shit so personal; has a routine for everything

And if he forgets a part of the routine…end of the world

I think he would be a nervous person/ someone who might need reassuring

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

Cuddling makes him feel safe like nothing can harm him in this moment

OKAY LISTEN TO ME I can see cockwarming being his thing DONT FIGHT ME

Mans is tall so he has a size kink or some shit idk

But just wants to make sure that you know that you are loved

MJF

I feel like before Max would simply hit it and quit it

Like he would get what he wants and then leave without even thinking about the girl

But ever since he met you, he’s been more attentive to how he treats people

Especially you after sex

You two talk about everything as Max caresses your skin…and talks about himself

I think Max would also take this time to reflect your relationship and how happy he is

Loves to smother you but you betta not tell anyone…especially Max Caster

Prolly would not move for hours on end…unless you want too wink wink

[g0nta-g0kuhara]

The Chapter 4 Essay Part 2: Gonta Gokuhara

A metapost on my thoughts on Kokichi’s overall motivations and Gonta’s actions during ch4. Split into two parts. You can find Kokichi's half here: (LINK)

This section is admittedly a little bit shorter than Kokichi’s, but that’s just because Gonta’s motivations are a lot more clear than Kokichi’s. That being said, I’m also worried that since I am so obsessed with Gonta I might forget something important that supports my point because to me its kinda self-evident. So if anything seems like it’s missing or doesn’t make sense, please let me know!

In my opinion, nothing Kokichi did to Gonta was personal, in both positive and negative ways. He didn’t target Gonta because he hated him in particular, but he also didn’t team up with him because they were already friends. Gonta was just an easy target for him to take advantage of, both for stopping Miu from killing him And in progressing his plan to stop the killing game. Gonta’s actions in chapter 4 are a combination of genuine manipulation by Kokichi using what made him an easy target, and motivation caused by Gonta’s desperation and preexisting insecurities that had been growing since the start of the killing game.

Throughout v3, the one thing that Gonta wants more than anything else is to protect his friends from the killing game. It’s pretty clear that he trusts his physical strength more than any other part of himself. The literal First thing Gonta says in a group setting with everyone else is this:

(prologue)

He doesn’t even know anyone yet! But he’s already prepared to physically defend them from the exisals! He also tries to stop Kaede’s execution along with Kaito and Tenko:

(post trial, chapter 1) (And- wait- is Gonta missing his bug box in this cg? Oh my god….)

Gonta is shown to be most confident when doing things that involve his physical strength. There’s less hesitation and uncertainty in his actions, unlike what you can often see in him during class trials or group discussions.

Gonta is also more than willing to give up his life for his friends, even as early as chapter 2.

(post trial, chapter 2) (he’s the first one to make this suggestion)

Outside of physical defense against active threats, Gonta really just wants to help his friends in any way he can. Here’s a couple examples:

(post-trial, chapter 1) (daily life, chapter 2) (daily life, chapter 3) (investigation, chapter 3)

On the other hand, Gonta has really bad self esteem issues. It’s telling enough that one of Gonta’s common floatlines is literally “Gonta idiot…” When he’s not casually calling himself dumb he’s apologizing for it. For this (and honestly, many other parts of Gonta’s character that I’m pointing out here) I really recommend just paying close attention to Gonta on a replay of the game. I could literally sit here for a week finding and listing all the times Gonta calls himself stupid, but it feels pretty self-evident considering how much he does it. Here’s just one example:

(investigation, chapter 1)

It’s the combination of his deep desire to be helpful and protect the people around him, and the repeated deaths of his classmates, that really start to wear on him as the game progresses. I think this mixes with his already present self worth issues to form a pretty nasty complex; Gonta explicitly blames himself for almost every single victim’s death in the game. Let’s walk through the chapters for a moment here:

Ryoma: “Gonta coulda saved him… No, Gonta shoulda saved him…! // When piranhas attack Ryoma… If Gonta had dived into tank… / Then… Gonta coulda help Ryoma. But Gonta got scared. Too scared to do anything. / Sorry! Gonta really sorry!”

In chapter 3, Gonta joins Angie’s student council out of his desire to protect everyone. This is made clear in how, before pulling him in, Angie compliments Gonta and calls him smart. She then says this:

(daily life, chapter 3)

This time, organized as a part of the student council and with Angie’s god on his side, Gonta hopes that he can finally be useful and successfully protect someone.

Angie: “Maybe Angie got attacked while she sleep in her room, and get brought there? / If so… Gonta coulda saved her! If only Gonta saw! / But Gonta was sleeping… Sorry, Angie… Gonta no could save you!”

…To quote my favourite V3 lets play (shortonegaming) on this moment: “He made up a version [of Angie’s death] so that he could blame himself.”

Tenko: “T-Tenko…! Gonta so sorry… Gonta no could protect you!” and then a little later “It’s all Gonta’s fault…! Gonta fail to protect friends again!” and AGAIN later “Gonta so ashamed…! Why Gonta no could protect friends!?”

That’s two deaths in a row that Gonta (at least believes) he was right next door to and failed to stop. You can see from how he says this repeatedly, with lots of dialogue from other characters in between, the sheer amount that this is impacting him.

Miu: “But… why this happen…!? Why… Miu killed!? / Gonta not understand… Gonta not understand anything… /…But Gonta frustrated and sad! Gonta no could protect Miu! // Gonta so sorry! Gonta sorry he no could protect Miu!” Even with Miu’s death, to which he’s waking up disoriented and confused, he blames himself for failing to stop it.

(Sidenote: Looking at all these reactions back to back makes Gonta’s disorientation after waking up from the virtual world SO much more visible. I left the beginning out of the quote I took, but when you first talk to him during ch4’s investigation, he doesn’t say anything for a few moments. This is very unlike his immediate, intense reactions in the earlier chapters. When he does start speaking it feels kind of disjointed, uncharacteristically calm, and confused before he starts riling himself up blaming himself for Miu’s death. I never really noticed it before looking into this. It’s kind of disturbing)

The only reason I personally think he doesn’t react this way about Rantaro immediately is due to being in shock that someone died to begin with. That doesn’t stop him from saying this not long after:

(investigation, chapter 1)

This complex- made of the desire to protect everyone, self loathing, and feelings of uselessness at being unable to help investigating due to being “stupid” and failing to protect anyone physically, the only thing he thinks he’s good at, every. single. time- only gets worse with each chapter. And in Chapter 4, Gonta finally reaches his breaking point.

At the beginning of Chapter 4, you can talk to Gonta as Shuichi is leaving to meet up with Kaito and Maki to train. He tries to stop Shuichi, worried about a murder potentially taking place at night (again), but Shuichi reassures him that he’ll stick by his friends and that he can’t break his promise to meet up with them. Gonta responds like this:

(daily life, chapter 4)

Which leads to him saying he’s made up his mind, and has a plan. Which is, of course, to try and take down Monokuma physically, even if it costs him his life. He initially drops the suggestion after Miu starts talking about the virtual world, but the day after, it’s still bothering him.

(daily life, chapter 4)

Almost every free time event you have with Gonta this chapter (except for like, one, where he talks about the “tiny bugs” he can barely see), Gonta is trying to think of ways to help.

(free time, chapter 4) His last possible free time event before Miu takes everyone into the virtual world has this dialogue, which is just so sad to me.

(free time, chapter 4)

“Helping everyone” and not being “useless” are almost the only two things Gonta talks about this chapter. It’s this mindset and motivation that made Gonta an easy target for Kokichi to take advantage of. He’s in a bad place mentally, and nothing he does seems to help anybody. Not to mention, with the student council gone, he’s suddenly just kind of… alone. There’s no one there (other than potentially Shuichi, during free time) to keep him steady.

And yeah, I am definitely not including Kokichi here. A strong reason I don’t think Gonta chose to go along with Kokichi out of friendship was because of this interaction early Chapter 4:

(daily life, chapter 4)

Gonta’s trust in Kokichi was broken because of the events of the insect meet and greet. The insect meet and greet’s implications for Kokichi and Gonta’s relationship are a bit strange, but since it’s not super relevant to chapter 4, I’m not gonna get into it. The point is, regardless of the nature of their relationship in chapter 2, it’s clear that Gonta doesn’t consider Kokichi a very trustworthy person in chapter 4. It’s likely that he doesn’t consider him a close friend either. I hesitate to say that Gonta didn’t consider him a friend at all, because he’s Gonta and he wants to have faith in everyone, but at the very least he was trying to be wary around him.

This explicit distrust in Kokichi might make it seem strange that Gonta went along with Kokichi at all in the virtual world. But in reality, Kokichi was very aware of Gonta’s distrust in him, and used it to his advantage in setting up his plot.

(daily life, chapter 4) (I skipped some dialogue in this exchange, but it hits the main points)

Kaito inadvertently eggs Gonta on here, but Kokichi literally drops the idea at Gonta’s feet. Gonta isn’t going with Kokichi to help him look, he’s going to make sure he doesn’t get into any trouble. And as Kokichi said, he knew Gonta would offer to do something like this if given the chance.

Kokichi uses Gonta’s distrust in him again when they encounter the flashback light holding the secret of the outside world together. Gonta’s immediate instinct was to go find everyone else, but Kokichi yells for him to wait, and then this happens:

(post trial, chapter 4)

He KNOWS Gonta doesn’t trust him, and with that distrust, he can make him doubt anything he says. I’ve already talked about how Gonta is ready to give up his life for everyone else, especially this chapter, so suggesting that he check if the light is a trap set up by Kokichi is guaranteed to make Gonta pause.

But it doesn’t stop there. Kokichi pushes harder:

(post trial, chapter 4)

Gonta thinks for a moment, but this is what made him choose to come back and look at the flashback light himself. Here, Kokichi uses the thing that has been haunting Gonta more than anything else all killing game, especially this chapter. He knows Gonta has tried and failed to protect people, he knows how upset it makes him. What better way would there be to convince him to do whatever he wants than to offer a way for him to finally be “useful” to everyone after failing them again and again?

Anything after this point and before Miu’s body discovery is purely headcanon, so I won’t get into my thoughts on that. But I think this moment shows that Gonta was under a lot more control that people often think. I don’t mean to say that Kokichi is entirely blameless, or that Gonta wasn’t manipulated at all. But AlterEgo!Gonta says himself, “No, [we] not tricked,” because he wasn’t. He made the choice to see the secret of the outside world on his own, and made every choice after that to continue with their plan. There was no trickery involved. It was Kokichi’s carefully chosen words that dug right into his insecurities, doubts, and hopes that directly influenced him into making the choice that he did.

You also have to keep in mind how absolutely unstable Gonta must’ve been at this point. He was already nearing a breaking point with his feelings of powerlessness before going into the virtual world, but then he got hit with the secret of the outside world. AlterEgo!Gonta openly admits that it made him feel suicidal. (“Cuz, when Gonta remember the secret of the outside world, Gonta think… /…it would be easier… to die.”) With the outside world and the killing game both inescapable hells, Gonta just couldn’t imagine any way out. And then Kokichi suggests the mercy kill plan. In his state of mind, Gonta truly believed that this could be the way to finally “save” everyone.

Of course, Kokichi had only just recently seen the secret of the outside world too. Even though he must have known it wasn’t true, he had no idea the extent to which it was a lie versus the truth. He probably wasn’t in a very good mental state either. But still, just like he would do again in chapter 5 to everyone else, Kokichi used the despair caused by the secret of the outside world to get Gonta to go along with his plan.

This is what I believe was the driving force behind Gonta’s half of the Kokichi and Gonta dynamic in chapter 4. Gonta’s self loathing, which was present before the killing game began, compounded with his desire to be useful and protect everyone else from the threats of the killing game. As more people died, Gonta became more and more desperate to do literally anything to help everyone else. Kokichi used these things about Gonta to push him to do what he wanted him to.

…To close off, there’s this moment right before Gonta and Kokichi leave to kill Miu that’s really stuck with me.

(daily life, chapter 4) (Read left to right, top to bottom)

It’s not common for the other characters to defend Gonta’s intelligence. But Kaito, unknowingly, says just the right thing to Gonta at just the wrong time. Knowing that Gonta was about to set things in motion to mercy kill everyone for this exact reason… I wonder if Kaito remembered this moment. Maybe it was just another reason he got so defensive over him during trial 4. I just wish he had said something like this to him sooner.

If you got all the way here and read all this… first of all. THANK YOU! Oh my god. I’ve been working on this essay for several days now between studying for my finals. It feels really great to have it all written out after literal years of loving V3 and loving this chapter. Please, please, please let me know your thoughts! Even if you disagree with me! Chapter 4 is so special to me and I love talking about it!! o/

(Screenshots taken on youtube from justonegamr, Bittersweet Gamers, ShortOneGaming, ProZD Plays Games, and my own copy of v3 on IOS. Thank you @/ishimaruhourglass for helping me find some of these!)

[mercurianchild]

hi angel, how would you describe a lilith trine sun ,pluto and mars in a person?Is that a bad thing? Couse i read having lilith placements its not good - that it makes you a bad woman is that true ? Like i dont wanna steal any man like i have been blamed for that in the past and dude i was doing legit nothing . So i wonder does that play a part of woman just randomly giving me angry nasty looks for no reason ? or having the 8 house as your chart ruler just make people woman give ya da angry stare even if you are tryng to hide and not attract atention? And i also want to ask (sorry ) does sextiles count as placements ? For example : i have my asc sextile pluto and lilith sextile my moon and when i read descriptions about let say pluto ascendant aspects i relate to the description BUT i wonder am i allowed to relate to this orr sextiles are weak placements and it doesnt count and i should not feel includet couse another astro blog on this app told me its not about you it only counts with harsh aspects couse they are actually fighting the true battles and you just want attention. so i just wanted to know. Anyway thank you and i do understand if you cant anser to all anyway you are amazing ! have an amazing 20th of april i read its gonna be like a new 14 years of some good fortune events happening bla bla so i hope thats true :D lol anyway ok imma shut up now , bye

Lilith Trine Sun, Pluto, and Mars, and the role of sextiles

Hey love! I can tell you’ve been doing some deep thinking about your astrological chart, and it sounds like you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed and misunderstood. Let’s have a look at your placements 💜

🪻Lilith Trine Sun: This aspect means you have a strong, confident sense of self, and Lilith adds a layer of mystery and magnetism. You’re likely very authentic and true to yourself, which can be incredibly inspiring. This doesn’t make you a "bad woman" at all. Instead, it means you embody a fierce independence that some people might find intimidating.

🪻Lilith Trine Pluto: Pluto brings depth and transformation, making you very perceptive and capable of profound personal growth. This aspect can make you seem powerful and intense, which can sometimes be misunderstood by others.

🪻Lilith Trine Mars: Mars gives you drive and passion. With this trine, you’re likely assertive and have a strong will, which can be a great strength. This combination can also make you very dynamic and engaging, though some might misinterpret your intensity.

If you’ve experienced negative reactions from some women, it might be because your strong Lilith energy, combined with your 8th house influences, makes you appear very powerful. The 8th house is associated with deep psychological forces and transformation, which can be unsettling for some people. Remember, this is about their insecurities, not about you. You’re not doing anything wrong, and you definitely don’t deserve to be treated poorly for being your authentic self!

Now, let’s talk about sextiles.

🪻Ascendant Sextile Pluto: This aspect gives you a compelling presence and the ability to influence others deeply. It’s why you might relate to descriptions of Pluto-Ascendant aspects because it enhances your intensity and depth.

🪻Lilith Sextile Moon: This brings a harmonious blend of your emotions and your independent side, making you comfortable with expressing your true feelings and desires.

Sextiles should not be dismissed as weak or insignificant! They highlight areas where you can thrive and grow without the intense challenges of harsher aspects. It’s perfectly valid for you to feel connected to these descriptions!!

But to make it short, you have a powerful, magnetic personality shaped by these harmonious aspects. It’s understandable that this can sometimes lead to misunderstandings or negative reactions, but it’s also a source of great strength. Embrace who you are and use these insights to navigate your path with confidence! You can do it and I believe in you! I really hope this helps you feel more at ease with your chart. You have the power to shape your journey and use these insights for growth and positive change.

Wishing you all the best!!! 💜

[mousemilf]

i feel like seeing the world through actions rather than character seems like you're subconsciously distant and dissociated from yourself; as though some deep-seated insecurity or anxiety about an inherent personality trait means that you place value specifically on behavior and not personality.

for example, is a person artistic simply because they make art, or are they compelled to make art because they have this specific inexplicable draw and desire to do so? would someone who was not innately kind or interested in being kind "do" kind things?

which innate trait were you born with that drives you to assume that different opinions must stem from a psychological issue?

anyway, no, i am not innately artistic. nobody (or everybody, which is essentially the same thing) is. i bothers me that we treat art as so much more sacred than other human activities. would you say the same about someone whos hobby is collecting funko pops? are they driven by an inexplicable desire to collect shit figurines?

making art is something i know how to do. its a skill ive acquired, like cooking or driving a car. to attribute it to an innate talent would be to erase the years of study and practice ive put in. if its more initially rewarding because i have any natural advantage, it might be that i have pretty good fine motor skills, but thats a neutral physical trait like my height or weight, which i dont glean any meaningful identity from either. but maybe that initial aptitude led to more satisfaction, encouragement etc which has naturally caused me to think about art more than someone who did not start with that immediate small advantage.

ive had the privilege of teaching hobby painting classes to people who are not skilled and would not consider themselves "artistic," and everybodys reactions when they learn a new technique and make something they thought they couldnt is proof to me that art making is rewarding to *everybody,* not just a special class of divinely ordained creatives. i fundamentally do not believe that i am unique for finding art fulfilling. it feels good to make stuff. thats just human.

as far as kindness goes, if there are intrinsically kind people, it would follow that there are intrinsically unkind people, right? people who are born without kindness as an innate trait... so then what would be the point of trying to rehabilitate people whove committed violent crimes? if they dont have that inherent drive for kindness that innately kind people do, then it would be hopeless, right?

if we can neatly divide people into categorically kind and categorically unkind people i guess it would be much easier for us kind people (im at least flattered that you assume id be on that side of the dichotomy) to like, just be confident that we are morally in the right and not ever have to question the actual impact of our behavior since our intentions are good by virtue of this innate trait we were born with. sure whatever.

assigning importance to intentions and feelings rather than actions and their impact is like very yuckydisgusting to me. like i said in my reblog right before this, if kind thoughts were enough to make someone a kind person, then negative thoughts would be enough to make someone a bad person. silly and obviously wrong. i've fantasized about all kinds of destructive actions, but it literally does not matter at all, the only important thing is my choice not to act on those fantasies.

wanting or trying to be a kind person does not make someone a kind person. some of the nastiest motherfuckers ive ever met were constantly agonizing over whether they were a good person and looking for reassurance that they hadnt done wrong. yet they continued to act selfishly and harm people around them. their desire to be kind did jack shit.

but yeah, i do place value specifically on behavior because thats the only part of personality that meaningfully exists to literally anybody outside of your brain. basically. i think thats the main point of all of this.

[austinsastrology8991]

> Mer{Cure}Y <

I gots some drugs for yall fiends > plug back <

1 > No one wants to talk to each other Hi how are you? good thanks :) Nice day isnt it. It for sure is! Hey wyd. not much wbu. Im chilling. Same lol. what are you doing? Im watching something on youtube. Oh nice. Wbu? im watching anime. Oh cool. No wonder we are all fiends for some entertainment, because we are incapable of entertaining each other. 2 > The insecurity of not sounding smart makes everyone conform into a retarded form of one another. We all have the same views. The same topics are constantly being brought up. And when someone speaks about something new, everyone loses interest because no one can handle the reality that maybe they don't know something. Oh and the only reason you listen to each other is to get something from that person whether that be attention, or clout or whatever the fuck you define as your ends. Since most of us, are in a state of fear, we aren't able to talk about something we don't know about. 3 > Mercury is about confidence. And most of yall bite your tongues but love to act tough. Every person who has told me they are hard, is incapable of pushing the envelope. I think you are more caught up with your own image, and are afraid of not appearing tuff. But guess what true courage is about revolting against whats normal, or the courage to be wrong. Show dont tell true?. ANd im done hearing about whoever the fuck you think you are. Show me something interesting dont tell me what you think you are. Don't tell me what you want me to hear. 4 > Conversations are being ruined by people who are constantly telling others they are wrong. Excuse me fucker. But are you capable of arguing against me? No beyond that. Can you stick to the conversation at hand, or are you going to source the same sources every SJW ever has cited. Your not even a real person, your just mimicrying beliefs you believe in. Pathetic tbh. Hey whatever more people will agree with you because we are all jsut looking for a place to belong. so good for you. You chose the easy way out bravo. I thought conversations were a place to discuss and learn. But your so focused on being correct. to me you look wrong, but you do 'sound' right because well .. to reiterate we all want to be right so we band together with whats acceptable. 5 > School fucked you. You were told to sit down and stfu. and if you were invested in to the conversation in the class room. You were memed on by all ur class mates. School breeds insecurity, and teaches people to sit down. Thats why some of yall are so forceful in standing up for yourself. Trying to break the chains of the past. And before you point the finger at me. Don't shoot the messenger. we were all brainwashed, I dont blame anyone trying to change the foundations of your past, considering how fucked it all really is 6 > "Im not that smart" This is just an excuse. Learning everyone can do. You just need to concentrate and put effort in. "oh I canT beCauSe I HaVe ADHD" well my bad just take more of that meth shit that way you can turn into mini hitler and become smart I guess. Also if your so insecure go cry to your psychologists like ffs. Eveyrone can be smart. YOu just need to develop your confidence > Rule 3 <

7 > You learn from what you see. monkey see monkey do. if your surrounded by a bunch of dumb cunts. YOur a dumb cunt now. If your being put down by people in your clique you are surrounded by negativity. If your being constantly praised for nothing you are surrounded by yes man. Find diversity. use discrepency. Its perfectly okay to judge people. stop suppressing that urge to appear 'normal' Many people are not normal but we are so caught up in trying to act normal when we are all pretty fucky 8 > The past was different and so will be the future. Would you shut the fuck up with the pessmism. Things will change. You need to be open to receiving it. You've had happy times as much as youve had bad times. ANd if your trapped in a big pit hole of death. well you better get climbing because no one can be bothered to help anyone anymore because we are probably the most selfish we've ever been ever (social mediaaaaasaa) and the adults are still trying to adjust to the internet because the world been flipped (itll flip again) 9 > No one cares about your opinion more than you Thats why your so uncomfortable speaking your truth. Because everyone is more into their own truths. So we practise the art of self affirmation by denying other peoples truths. When everything exists for a reason. WE are so caught up in making our own manifestations true by denying others 'truths.' Selfish cunts.... But hey wtf am I saying Im just an anonymous pluto I don't know shit ;')

My next post is my last post. Don't cry. I have my reasons. My next post however is going to my >master piece< ;')

[jaiistg]

Reader as "im insecure" and Azul ashengrotto as "if you cant love you insecurities then I will."

"When I see your face,theres none of a thing that I would change cause girl your amazing.Just the way you are."

-An very important note,pls read.

Hi! So this is related to what happened to me yesterday.Im already insecure of myself and my guy classmate told me negative things and made me hate myself even more.I know that alot of people are going tru this which is why I made this post.I want to make people feel good and I just wanna say looks don't define who you are.You are beautiful/handsome and perfect just the way you are and whenever someone tells you negative things about yourself thats a lie.They are probably jealous of you which is why they wanna make you feel insecure of youself,plus who are they to say that? They aren't even perfect.Noone is.I hope this post makes you feel better.make sure to drink water and love yourself<33 I love you soo much and Im proud of you.

•Azul is really confused on why your insecure of yourself I mean,your literally perfect to his eyes.

•If only you could see how you look like in his eyes...<33

•Whenever he sees your face he falls all over again for you.

•Since he knows your insecure he tells you everyday how pretty you are, ect so that you can gain self confidence<33

•He will ATTACK people who bodyshames or faceshames you.He dosent understand why people do that,like are they happy that they made someone insecure???? They are proud of doing that shit???

•Trust me,he knows how hard it is being insecure of themselves.He himself experienced it but now its just in the past.A very bad past that is still stuck to his head.

•He dosent want you to feel the way he felt when he was a child which is why he made a promise to himself that HE WILL PROTECT YOU NO MATTER WHAT.

•You tried breaking up with him because you thought that he deserved better,it went likee this.

"Why did you wanna see me?" Azul asked

"Listen,I wanna break up with you."

"W-what why? D-did I do anything wrong? Please tell me,!! We can do better!!"

"No.Its not your fault."

"then why....?"

"You deserve better than me.I don't even know what you saw in me that made you like me.Im sorry if Im an overthinker,im not even pretty enough to be your girlfriend.Which is why im letting you go.You deserve to be with someone much better then me,im really sorry but im doing this for you.Your better off without someone like me."

"No,Y/n,Im not letting you break up with me.I don't ever wanna be with anyone but you,fuck I can't even imagine being with someone else! Your perfect to me.Im grateful to have a girlfriend like you and anyone else would be.I love every single thing about you.Theres no single flaw I see everytime I see you."

•You had a mental breakdown because someone said negative stuff's about you and god,Azul couldn't take it anymore,he had a talked with the guy.

"You have no right to tell Y/n that,are you perfect huh? Ofcourse your not, there's not a single human being that is perfect,so tell me.How do you feel? HOW DO YOU FUCKING FEEL AFTER TELLING HER THAT???? YOU MADE HER INSECURE OF HERSELF AGAIN JUST AS SHE WAS STARTING TO LOVE HERSELF AGAIN! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR HER TO LOVE HERSELF AND WHEN SHE FINALLY LEARNED TO LOVE HERSELF YOUR JUST GONNA FUCKING RUIN IT?! FIX YOURSELF!"

•Everytime you started to feel insecure of yourself Azul is always there to comfort you.He loves you so much :((<33

[cy-cyborg]

I am SO close to finishing Baldur's Gate 3... I think, I've been saying that for the past 20 hours lol, but I really want to gush about Karlach! Once I've actually finished the game I'll probably make a proper post talking about her in a more structured way from a disability standpoint but I just really want to talk about her now lol.

[ID: A gif of Karlach from Baldur's Gate 3, a tall woman with red skin, one black horn, black hair and glowing orange eyes. She is covered in scars and tattoos, her chest glows and she is dancing on the spot in front of a cluttered tent./end ID]

I did not know how much my inner child needed to see someone like her on screen. Strange thing to say about a character from a game that's intro features worms crawling into your eye in hell but its true.

I have massive burn-like scars all over my my lower body, especially my legs, and while I always (mostly) saw the amputations they came with as just a part of me, I had much more negative feelings about those scars, well into my young adulthood, but especially as a teenager. It wasn't helped by the fact that while most folks had the decency to keep their comments about my visible disability... neutral-ish, the comments about my scars ranged from "you should cover those up" to "that's discusting" and young children literally crying at the sight of them. On top of that, every time a character with scars like mine was in the media, they were either the villain, used to teach others a lesson about not being mean or to teach that chatacter a lesson about how beauty is on the inside or how to love their appearance despite thier scars (that they'll be sure to tell you they think are hideous).

But karlach isn't any of those things. She's confident and literally walks around armour that show her scars by default. No one calls her gross or tells her to cover them. Her scars are never brought up as a negative at all, at least that ive seen, they're never something that detracts from her appearance. She never tries to hide them or gets insecure about them. When you romance her, there's no comment about if you're sure you can find "someone with scars like hers" attractive. Characters in the game dont find her attractive in spite of them, they just find her attractive. Full stop. They're just, there. And what's more, the fandom, for the most part, seems to agree. I have seen so many people swooning over her, and they almost never bring the scars up. People don't care, they just think she's hot! (There will always be outliers of course but they seem few and far between in my circles at least lol).

And my God, it's SO refreshing! Don't get me wrong, it's not inherently bad to have chatacters be insecure about things like scars (Wyll has a few moments of insecurity around his, and I think it's done well) but it's so nice for it to not be the central focus for once, or even really a big at all. Especially for a woman character.

I was so convinced as a teenager that no one would find me attractive because of those scars. Scars like Karlach's. I'm older now, I have worked through it all, and any lingering insecurities I had on the subject were shut down when me and my partner got together. But 15/16 year old me desperately needed to see a chatacter like Karlach, and im so happy she exists now!

[rubra-wav]

Your headcanons about Vox were amazing! Ironically the part about where you explain how the relationship would be toxic was what caught my eye the most. I was wondering if you would elaborate on how Vox would be with a s/o who's basically a yes man, like they just want Vox to be proud of them in every way and not tarnish their reputation and stuff. Like legit, never complains and bottles up stuff for his sake, at the same time they wanna make him feel powerful and in control cuz that's how he wants to feel. BUT his s/o actually tries and prones him into not keeping a façade near them, kind of a thing "Use me however you want, I will be silent, obey and not judge you" kinda thing. I'm really curious about how that dynamic would be :3

Absolutely, I can 🙏

TW for abuse

With a submissive, yes-man partner in general: Vox would treat you as a doormat. I do not doubt that for a second. He'd use your willingness to let things slide and not call him out to just violate your boundaries, trust, etc. Even worse over time.

You've gotta threaten this man with some sort of consequences, or he's going to take advantage of and use you in every single way.

He knows how to read people to get what he wants from them, so when you just keep giving him what he wants again and again and again, he's gonna be so used to the dopamine hits he gets from you praising him and being able to exercise complete control and bad behaviour over you that he will just take it further and further because he knows you won't do anything.

And, when he sees that you are trying to make him proud of you and be good for you? He's going to absolutely use that against you to just control you farther. Would manipulate you to do what he wants using your desire for praise.

He'd use you and abuse you until you break down and inevitably snap at him - and considering through your whole relationship you haven't treated his behaviours with any sort of criticism at all and have just been feeding his ego without any directly negative response to him the whole time?

He's gonna be an absolute asshole about it.

He's insecure and extremely reactive to criticism (perceived or actual) at the best of times from a partner who calls his shit out, but you exploding after ages of letting things slide and forgiving his behaviour and building his constant need for positive attention and reinforcement the whole time? It's gonna be such a 180 that he's gonna be absolutely furious about it.

With a combination of being a yes-man and affirming him though provided he does open up to you? I'd say it might actually turn out even worse ngl.

I'm a strong believer that Vox needs love to get better, but also its gotta be tough love with hard consequences for bad behaviour, or he just will not change at all.

He would confide in you, use your willingness and encouragement of a complete lack of judgement. But also he'd use that.

You letting him unfurl all his God awful behaviours and insecurity with no judgement like at all, he's just gonna openly express said shit behaviour and not attempt to remedy it at all.

You show him that he can be absolutely vile and you won't go 'uhhh, actually that's not okay' at all, (or at least not firmly say that) and he'll see the opportunity of a lifetime to very overtly be awful.

He needs a loving partner who will not judge his real self and real concerns (to a degree) and take care of him, treat him properly.

But

He also needs someone who will not take his shit and someone to hold consequences over him when he's behaving terribly, so he actually does change and mend those abusive/toxic behaviours he's got going on.

Because he will most likely become and stay abusive towards you if otherwise, covertly or overtly.

[fujimiiiya]

im always confused about people who harass and bully when its easier to just block users who enjoy ships and taboos they don’t like or are uncomfortable with. i personally take no offense to that. i think its more respectful and safer for everyone. i know it can hurt sometimes but being attacked hurts more smhh

Imo it's useless to try to understand why they prefer to act like jerks to strangers bcs they are, like you said, harasser and bully in their core, while we are not. Another thing is they have too much free time on their hands but not much exciting things happen in their lives so they need smth to do or distract themselves from reality, and what they choose is to be lowlives hiding behind online anonymity bcs it's relatively safe. They won't get real lawsuits for online insults, right? The most they can get is being reported, (if the assaulted even care enough or take them seriously enough) and lose their free account, which they can always make a new one. It's a cowardice act and ppl who actually know better and have better moral grounds than what these harassers always preach about won't do. It's totally not worth to even regard them, ppl who choose to insult real person over fictional characters, that alone makes their logic automatically questionable, bcs there are more important matters out there than defending fictional characters that will nvr say thanks to them anyway.

There's a lot of plausible underlying causes:

1. they could be ppl with lots of RL problems, frustrated, or even oppressed ppl irl who can't act how they really want so they need some kind of outlet to vent and thus they act like some righteous thugs.

2. They try to cover their insecurity, low self-esteem, or inferiority complex by acting aggresive. By harassing others who they think are 'immorals' about fiction, they get some sorta self-validation, satisfaction, no matter how vain and petty it is, that they are the ones who are right and thus superior ones.

When it comes to ship wars, those who are deliberately shitting on the ships or shippers themselves most of the times can actually due to some degree of them being insecure abt their own ships, but they'd try hard to deny it with all their might. If they are confident abt their own faves or ships, they wouldn't focus on characters or ships they hate...or again, they have too much useless free time on their hands.

3. They try to find chances, thinking that by harassing those who like certain ships or the content creators for those ships continuosly, they will be discouraged or prevent others who are about to like the ship to be hesitant to show their love due to the drama, so the ships will look like they are less popular. This, I'm sure, is the case w/ some of popular ships that they deem as "problematic". However, we already know that it actually has reverse psychology effect, as the more we are harassed, the stronger mentality we have and the more we wanna show how valid and loved our ships are by creating more fanworks about them. Because we don't care what they say.

Now don't get me wrong. I do understand why some people dislike certain ships. I'm not trying to invalidate their personal reasons behind them. Fiction can indeed trigger some trauma or bad memories for others. Or you can simply dislike the ship bcs it's lame. I myself have so many landmines and dislikes when it comes to ships, or even tropes within my own ships. But I won't bother focusing on them, let alone spending time to interact w/ the posts I hate. I will just surround myself w/ things I like, with like-minded peeps. That's what makes us different from them.

Tldr; When the antis think it's alright to insult the shippers it's when they are no longer to be taken seriously and engaging w/ them has no point anymore. I think you don't even need to feel hurt about it. We should actually pity them bcs those who are fueled by negativity, must be surrounded by negativity too on daily basis hence that's what they know how to do. Trust me, someone who are surrounded by positivity and love irl, or want it that way, won't deliberately act like pricks or hate others over these trivial matters. It's their pettiness talking. Regardless, they still want you to think they are superior. Pity them and be the bigger person and don't let them drag you to step down to their low level.

[mangora]

I feel like a glaring issue with DCAS’ character writing is that there was seemingly consideration for how a character would be changed by the end of the story, but not exactly how that change would occur or be built to.

[DCAS spoilers]

A character arc is a journey with a start and end point, and in a character-focused series like DC the story should be the entertaining journey with various pit stops building to the final destination; typically focal characters like Jake, Riya, and Ally have major arcs comprised of multiple smaller arcs, but in DCAS it seems the writers were struggling to come up with smaller lead-ups to fill the time, which made the conclusion of each major character arc feel slow for the majority of the series (since not much unique was happening before the Major Changes in each character, making it feel repetitive), and then rushed at the end, because the stakes didn’t raise 1, 2, 3, 4— they just went 1, 4.

For an example of what I’m talking about negatively— and correct me if I’m wrong because I haven’t rewatched any of the DCAS episode since they aired— Jake’s start point was as a bitter, jealous, and insecure person; his end point was becoming someone who’s confident in their relationships and in themself. However as for the middle, Jake kind of just feels bad and talks about becoming a better person before acting petty and childish each episode. While Jake made more close relationships with Aiden and Connor, and even displayed more confidence in himself during the truth telling helmet challenge that I forgot the name of, these were all isolated from each other, because at his core Jake’s behavior and worldview did not fully change until the last two episodes, as exemplified by his relationship with Ally throughout the series. I love Jake, he’s my favorite DC character, but his characterization wasn’t an uphill (or downhill) progression, it was stagnant and then randomly peaked at a 90 degree angle. His personality would run in one direction but always bounce back to where it was until it just teleported at some point and froze. While some characters do relapse on bad behavior or become corrupt over time, this usually isn’t every episode in the exact same way. It’s boring, and by doing the same thing over and over again, the payoff after such a long stretch of time could never feel rewarding— it’s doomed by format. This is an issue with most of the DCAS characters who made the merge: part of Connor’s arc was getting over Riya but this was done by having him repeatedly try and fail to get through to her before marrying a random woman; Riya’s arc was ultimately regretting the person she’s become because she’s all alone and this was shown by having her show little inklings of guilt before continuing to do bad shit for half the season before ending without any friends; Ally’s arc was learning to be confident in herself despite what other people say and this was shown by her just getting angry at how people perceive her over and over again before randomly deciding that heroism is more important and getting confidence from that. The characters form new relationships, find new goals through them sometimes, etc. but their behaviors are repetitive and their belief systems change on a dime whenever the narrative calls for it.

I think part of this issue stems from the fact that the season has such a large cast and decided to take a real rotary approach to building a story off of them. Each episode has us focus on the remaining cast like clockwork, almost as if to show us that they’re still there. And while it’s important to utilize your cast to its fullest potential and make sure they all have a role in the story to a degree, not every character needs a focus in every episode. Shows typically have ‘a, b, c’, etc. plots, not a bunch of ‘a’ plots, because it gets exhausting and confusing. It would probably work better to pick a few primary characters each episode, a few secondary, a few tertiary, whatever, and unite their storylines within the episode via some thematic element— a lesson, a gimmick, etc— and/or a shared intersection— a point at which they all converge or work with each other if they haven’t been already. This could also help flesh the relationship chart out more so the cast feels more connected, full, and realistic— it would keep the cast from feeling cliquey and break up any monotony that spawns from the long run time, and ensure that everyone gets their time to shine. This doesn’t mean necessarily do a full arc for each character, if the narrative doesn’t need a character then there’s no point in rushing a three, four, five, etc. point character arc for each and every character each episode because that’ll get exhausting and it’s not necessary, some characters barely need to change and some can be pure filler— every story needs filler. But there are definitely ways to stagger the importance of each member of your cast throughout the series in a way that is satisfying. I understand that this is a tall order; it’s hard to pick who to focus on and who not to, figure out who’s changing and who’s pretty static this episode, how to tie all of these plot threads together without it bunching into a knot— it’s time intensive and complex, so I get why it’s not done on a project with such quick turnaround, part of DCAS’ enjoyability was a consistent and quick upload schedule that allowed the community to react and theorize and keep up momentum before the next episode came out. I just feel like using these hierarchies and ‘a, b, c’, etc. plots could make episodes more memorable or entertaining and help move along arcs more smoothly, as well as make sure every plot-line is resolved instead of left to fizzle.

I also think that part of the reason that characters felt flatter this season is just because there were less like, crumbs? This is a lesser critique but I didn’t know where else to put it; I felt like the season was so focused on drama and action and one-liners that it wouldn’t give itself room to breathe in most episodes and have true, uncomplicated filler that told us more human details about the characters. Learning about a character’s unique hobbies and interests, stories from their childhood, their career and education goals, family and friends before canon, and so on really helps them feel like real people rather than archetypes. It simply gives you more to work with, and makes the characters unique. Part of why S3 Jake felt flat to a lot of people is because he doesn’t really like anything and his only stories from before the show were horribly sad. He might enjoy baking or Marvel or pop music, but even then it’s hard to tell if that’s part of his character or just the narrative speaking through Jake instead of letting Jake speak.

Also this isn’t even getting into how a lot of the characters were randomly ultra-demonized or sidelined as support— or how some character arcs were just unsatisfying. For instance, why did Ellie just decide she doesn’t need the money anymore? This wasn’t really built to on screen unless you count Ellie’s elimination, it’s not really explained why Ellie cares more for Gabby now or why their relationship is so important to her when that money has been her motivation for the whole game. I think Gabellie is cute but their relationship devoured like most of their characterization this season and I miss when they were individuals. Anyways most of this was very disorganized and feel free to disagree with me if you think I’m wrong or being too harsh, I didn’t hate DCAS but I definitely think it had some weak character writing for the most part— namely weak pacing. Not all of these points apply to every story and there are multiple ways to rewrite DCAS to change or ‘improve’ it so this isn’t the end-all be-all. It’s also worth mentioning that stories within the TD and TD fan project format are really hard to keep energized for their whole run no matter how you write them because the climax is always at the very end of the season so there’s a lot of hype to live up to and the story/characters can start to drag and so on. However I personally would’ve been more intentional about who I focus on each episode and how I break down a character arc.

[ofxlilac]

(chris wood) [THE GOOFBALL]. Please welcome [WESLEY "WES" RIVERS (HE/HIM] to Huntsville, WV. They are an [32]-year-old [RESIDENT] who lives in [THE COMMUNE]. You may see them around working as a [CASHIER AT THE FAMILY VIDEO]. Poor unfortunate soul. We’ll see if they survive.

BASICS

NAME: Wesley Rivers AGE: 32 BIRTHDATE: September 22nd SIGN: Libra LABEL : The Goofball GENDER: Cismale ORIENTATION: demi sexual, it is based on who he develops a connection for. LOCATION: Huntsville

PHYSICAL

HAIR: light brown hair EYES: brown/amber if in the right light HEIGHT: 6'0″ MARKINGS: none

FAMILY

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single SIBLINGS: none PARENTS: ------

SKILLS - probably a gatherer and not hunter

PHYSICAL PROWESS: not athletic at all, would probably die or faint if he had to run for a long time. he is more on the lean side, though he played sports in high school, he's got some build in his upper arms. ABILITIES: He has a charm about him where he feels the vibes, he tries to make a bad situation a good one. he can be witty, and funny. he doesn't care if he looks stupid doing so. SPOKEN LANGUAGES: English, Italian. HOBBIES: cashier at the family video, can recommend some good movies, discounts, and coordinate an awesome movie date.

TRAITS

POSITIVE: trustworthy, loyal, brave, attentive, daring, focused NEGATIVE: dependent, insecure, stubborn, cautious, not confident

PREFERENCES

COLORS: dark blue, black, sunrise – lilac, blue, orange sky that mixes. SMELLS: fresh baked bread, ocean breeze, smell of wood burning, peppermint and cinnamon. DRINKS: open to all drinks FOOD: pizza, tacos, steak, ice cream, – not a picky eater at all.

OTHER

FUN FACTS: loves thunder storms, left handed, he can actually play guitar and play it well, not a fan of the heat, prefers the cold.

CHARACTERS:

HUMAN : steve harrington - stranger things, peter parker - spiderman, best friend in any movie VAMPIRE: Lestat - interview with a vampire FEARS: to lose people he cares for. Losing himself. TRIGGERS : can get a little anxious if he somewhere where it can't get out, or if its a small space.

Song - Paralyzed by NF

“ I’m paralyzed Where are my feelings? I no longer feel things I know I should I’m paralyzed Where is the real me? I’m lost and it kills me inside I’m paralyzed ”

BIO - tw mentions of alcohol.

Wesley grew up in Huntsville, Virginia. His father was not one for high spirits. as most of his childhood days consisted of cleaning up after his father's drunken messes. He didn't have material things or fancy clothing. During his childhood, he would hear whispers and chatter from other kids about his clothes, and his looks. That didn't bring his self-confidence up throughout his teenage years.

however, that didn't get to him, he wouldn't allow it too, he had too big of a heart and wanted to always see the good. even if it meant going through difficult times and pain. so where did that lead him? well, it lead him to using humor as an outlet. if people focused on what was funny, then they wouldn't question his background or ask about his family. anything to get the attention off of him in regards to that.

during his high school years, he played baseball, and he found he was good at that. he was a high school pitcher. wesley was one to blend into the crowds, still, he made people laugh, and that was enough for him. whether people liked him for that---he didn't want to really know what their intentions were. however, his father ended up moving out of Huntsville and wesley ended up leaving once high school was over. he didn't really continue his education, just found himself going from one state to another.

eventually settling in West Virginia, after the storm had passed, he realized there wasn't much of an escape from the town. the monster thing also didn't help either.

PERSONALITY

Wesley is a bit of a goofball, he jokes around, and likes to make people smile. even if he is unwelcomed or can't make others open up, he is pretty chill, and in high spirits. he decided to make the most of the town. he can be trusted, and if you end up breaking that trust, it impacts him, because he believes that people can be good, they just tend to hide all their insecurities and pain.

CONNECTIONS

Friends Enemies fellow cashier buddies at the family video a crush people he helps best friend

[br1ghtestlight]

does anybody want to hear me analyze zeke and tina's relationship in my fanfic. too bad ur getting it anyway

there are SOME things i cant say bcuz spoilers but in my head zeke staying with tina during his worst moments and trusting her with his emotional vunerability makes sense because he considers her a friend and they're part of the same group but they arent CLOSE friends. they don't usually hang out together one on one and jimmy jr is clearly who zeke considers to be his best friend. he's scared of being vunerable with people he trusts, disappointing them or letting them down and ruining that relationship etc but because he doesn't have a very strong foundation with tina (while not being a TOTAL stranger) she feels safe to him to be open around. it also helps that she already had a negative opinion of him before so he isnt exactly worried about her hating him?? like they're sorta been there done that

and because tina doesn't view zeke as a romantic interest but DOES consider him a friend its easy to be playful and relaxed around him. she isn't nervous or analyzing her every move and she can playfully tease him knowing that their relationship was previously pretty negative but they both like each other now. there's a level of trust there KNOWING they've already seen each other at their worst, that tina was already pretty terrible to zeke and that zeke didnt have a very strong bond with her and laughed behind her back, that allows for more honest communication with each other and a healthier friendship while not making EVERYTHING about the Bad Stuff going on and still being allowed to play around together. tina feels confident around zeke and likes spending time with him without feeling pressured about their relationship, opening up to him in a way that she hasn't with jimmy jr or other boys she likes

zeke very intentionally is more nervous and insecure around the adults who try to help him or talk to him because most of his trauma comes from his relationship with adults and unfair punishment. he's SCARED of bob and linda bcuz he doesnt know if he can trust them, but he has a stronger relationship with tina gene & louise because he's spent more time with them and they're around his own age. he's obviously the closest with tina. his relationship with jimmy jr is complicated because they both keep things from each other and dont Communicate due to not wanting their friendship to change but there's love there and they'll work it out over time

zeke needs more healthy relationships in his life with adults who aren't trying to punish him or talk down to him in some way. he needs an adult who can PROVE that they're worthy of his trust bcuz while he has strong connections with his peers that isnt really going to help him in the long run. he has his grandma but because of her poor health their relationship involves him being more of a caretaker to her than the other way around and he doesnt feel comfortable talking about these things :( poor kiddo

[wolfisland]

weight talk

ed brain wants me to talk about how much weight ive lost every time the topic comes up because i do very much still link my self worth to my weight and its something im ACTIVELY deprogramming, because not only is it damaging but its at odds with the standards i hold others to - i dont view other people as lesser for their weight, why should i subject myself to that?

like im one of those people who is in exactly the perfect position to actually have a view from both sides here. i went from being so obese it was legitimately killing me, both physically and psychologically, to just like barely overweight.

its something that i have to sort of accept about myself in the sense that i wouldve died had i not lost the weight, but also the weight loss did not actually make my body better in an objective sense. i avoided a much more painful death and existence that carried so much shame and insecurity because of how much fatphobia had whittled down my self esteem, and my already existing health issues were heavily exacerbated. like in many ways the weight loss was good for me, there are so many more things i can do now and thats good, but i also shouldnt have had to lose any of that weight to deserve respect from peers and medical professionals. i shouldnt have had to lose that weight to lessen any psychological distress. i shouldve been allowed to just live, and also eat and sleep and exist free of shame just because of my body.

its very surreal coming from that perspective of relatively sudden and drastic weight loss because its like there are positives but also many negatives that i wasnt briefed on or prepared for because it was just assumed all of the future trauma and stress and illness was worth it as long as i could be ✨skinny✨, and that my priority should be being ✨skinny✨

like i cant use part of my stomach. i cant digest my food correctly. i have new allergies that could kill me. i went from one ed to another and had body dysmorphia so severe that i couldnt recognize my own reflection for the better part of two years. i absorb and process alcohol and most drugs faster and am so much more at risk of addiction for this very reason. my fucking teeth are weak. my body hurts just as much as it did before, just in different ways now.

these are all BAD things. but theyre seen as worth it because at least the number on the scale is smaller and i can wear crop tops now, i guess. its worth it because now people ogle me and buy me drinks at bars. like what?

i cant honestly say i regret the surgery. i dont. im acutely aware that it saved my life and while the confidence boost that came from it didnt come from actual self acceptance for a very long time but rather my ed being validated and external praise being heaped on me, that confidence did help me unpack a lot of other issues which DID eventually lead me to accepting that my self worth should never have been tied to my body.

but i do regret that it wasnt motivated simply by preserving my physical health and prolonging my life when my ed was killing me, but rather because i hated myself because other people hated my body. thats fucked up

also im never gonna be ✨skinny✨ and frankly id look fucking scary if i was. god wanted me to have a tummy and im never fucking getting rid of it