#//Valid points! Lovely meta!

[lunar-years]

i'm still very sad they didn't do anything at all in season 3 with the Nate & Roy dynamic they'd been building off in the background for the first two seasons, because the layers there were really fascinating.

Starting with like, Roy being the only one to vocally and actively stand up for Nate in season one. At the time I think Nate was appreciative, but I think in hindsight, (rightly or wrongly) it quickly morphs into this mindset that Roy is sort of patronizing and has long viewed him as this weak thing in need of protecting. It feels (in Nate's mind), like Roy swept in to play the savior when it convinced him, but even that was based more around his hatred of Jamie than it was about liking Nate. And we see Nate later think himself proven correct in that thinking after he kisses Keeley and confesses and Roy...barely reacts. Roy, who is furious and angry about everything and everyone every day of his life, is suddenly like "Oh it's fine" when Nate has kissed his girlfriend. Nick Mohammed's commentary that Nate actively saw that as a micro-aggression was so fascinating and makes a lot of sense.

Then you have Roy, who did see season one Nate as someone to protect, but then was also driven to his best performance on the pitch during his final season by Nate's no-bullshit speech before the Everton game. That scene is so effective because it's such a jarring departure for the entire team from how they've previously viewed Nate, and it works for Roy especially because Roy respects people who don't give in to the intimidation he's constantly goading them with and instead tells it to him straight, no words minced (this is why Roy gets along so well with people like Rebecca, Keeley, and Ted, and why the breakthrough moment with Jamie is Jamie calling him out at the gala, etc.). I think there IS a part of Roy that doesn't respect Nate in season 1, which is why he later reacts how he does to Nate's kiss with Keeley, and it's a mindset he's vindicated by when Nate turns on Ted. But that also gets all mixed up with moments like the Everton, with the evidence of Nate being such a good strategist that Roy later finds himself deeply envious of after becoming a coach himself.

During the time they are both coaching together, there's a dynamic there where they both (I think) believe the other person doesn't take them seriously, and it's rooted in a little bit of truth (on both sides!!) that's then wildly exacerbated by their own insecurities. Like, Nate is intimated by the fact that Roy is this rich famous hotshot publicly beloved, so that it feels way out of Nate's league to even be interacting with him. At the same time, he also thinks Roy is a bit of an asshole who doesn't see him as a threat because he doesn't take him seriously, and is (fairly) offended by it. Meanwhile, Roy is intimated by Nate because Nate is so clearly so intelligent, which I think is something Roy is insecure about in general, given his own education being superseded early on by football. He sees Nate as being a more adequate coach than himself because of this. But he also thinks Nate is spineless and whatever respect he had for him (fairly) dissolves completely after Nate goes to the press about Ted.

So it's like, this messy mixture where they both have something the other desperately wants but they can't see at all why the other would possibly be envious of them due to their own insecurities. They are, imo, the two most insecure people on the show in completely different ways. They hate themselves far more than they hate each other, yet they displace the weight of that feeling onto each other; Roy by treating Nate with indifference and Nate by dismissing Roy in his head as an asshole hotshot whose had a great life handed to him and doesn't even appreciate it, whereas Nate has to fight tooth and nail to find success. And it all boils down to them not understanding one another while also having a lot in common under the surface.

Anyway, I think it would be super interesting to see how their friendship or even just their relationship as coworkers develops after season 3, as they both make active attempts at overcoming their insecurities and doing better by themselves and each other.

[slightlycomicobsessed]

okay like. this is something that rolls around in my brain a lot but i think it's geniunely so funny, and super interesting the way how poison ivy's portrayal has slowly changed over the years.

like she started off as basically a plant-themed femme fatale and then shifted a bit more but still mostly just a femme fatale, but also with plant powers. and then she's a "crazy woman" ecoterrorist seductress who like, has some points i guess but the narrative is all about how she's 'doing it the wrong way' and how she's 'too extreme'. but like now. yeah she's a relatable shut-in lesbian with anxiety who actually is completely in the right ideologically bc yeah we fucked up the planet.

[francesderwent]

”A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes” from Disney’s Cinderella and “Impossible” from Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella are both at minimum beside the point and possibly even opposed to the truth at the heart of the Cinderella story. Cinderella cannot escape her stepmother’s cruelty; she certainly cannot change any larger injustices in her kingdom. and so almost every single adaptation, when asking the question “so what can Cinderella do? where is her agency?”, answers it with “she can dream! she can hope for something to change!” Disney’s Cinderella sighs “they can’t stop me from dreaming!” this is her last recourse, the one activity available to her. Rodgers and Hammerstein’s fairy godmother, taking it even farther, says “the world is full of zanies and fools who don't believe in sensible rules and won't believe what sensible people say, and because these daft and dewey-eyed dopes keep building up impossible hopes, impossible things are happening every day”—believing in the impossible makes it come true, the dreaming is the impetus for the magic which will get Cinderella to the ball, it does do something in the end. when actually, the point of the Cinderella fairytale is that even when you don't have the power to have an effect on anything else in your situation or the world at large, you do have power over what sort of person you become. hoping and dreaming is fine as far as it goes, and might be considered a kind of necessary condition for remaining good and kind (once you give up holding onto hope it’s possible succumbing to bitterness is inevitable), but the hoping and dreaming is not the point. we don’t celebrate Cinderella marrying the prince because that’s her dream come true. we celebrate because she’s finally, at last, getting what she deserves, because of the kind of person she is! if none of Cinderella’s “dreams” came true and she still didn’t let the world turn her hard and cruel, she still would have won. the fairytale ending heaps victory on top of victory, revealing the miracle of Cinderella’s heart for all to see.

[obaewankenope]

Okay, so, fair warning, I went and did some research for this because it's better than thinking about being a Foster Carer right now (jokes on me). So yeah, buckle up. Good luck.

Note: do not mistake community for therapy, please.

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Right, to give a bit of info about DBT from my own research because I like to define things and help break stuff down.

Dialectical Behaviour Therapy

Dialectical Behaviour Therapy is an adapted form of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy that was made for people who Really Feel Them Emotions. It does more than just CBT with its focus on changing unhelpful thinking and behaving, DBT also focuses on helping you to accept yourself at the same time. It’s often a method of therapy that uses group work more than CBT because of the way its set up.

With DBT you should be able to accept yourself and change your behaviour at the same time. It seems like a contradiction, hence the ‘dialectical’ part of the name: dialectical is basically accepting that two contradictory things can be true at the same time.

The thing about DBT is it needs you to be:

Committed to making positive changes to yourself.

Ready to work with the therapy and do the homework you’re given to improve.

Focused on the present and the future and not your past.

Able to work with groups for group sessions.

(info sourced from Mind.Org)

So, that's DBT. Except, wait! Something else. The techniques DBT uses:

Acceptance techniques -> focus on understanding yourself as a person, and making sense of why you do things you do (e.g. self-harm)

Change techniques -> focus on replacing behaviours that harm with behaviours that help by challenging unhelpful thoughts, encouraging to find new ways to deal with distress.

The Jedi Code

It's always nice to have the Code on hand to refer back to, especially when comparing it with a therapy technique. I went with a longer version of the Code, available via the Star Wars Fandom website:

There is no emotion; there is peace. There is no ignorance; there is knowledge. There is no passion; There is serenity. There is no death; there is only the Force. A Jedi does not act for personal power or wealth but seeks knowledge and enlightenment. A Jedi never acts from hatred, anger, fear, or aggression but acts when calm and at peace with the Force. Jedi are the guardians of peace in the galaxy. Jedi use the powers to defend and to protect, never to attack others. Jedi respect life, in any form. Jedi serve others rather than ruling over them, for the good of the galaxy. Jedi seek to improve themselves through knowledge and training.

The entire Code just screams spiritual enlightenment, doesn't it?

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Replying to... everything, basically

All Jedi have built-in trauma as children stolen from their homes and raised devoid of their culture and families. The Jedi Order literally traumatizes their subjects as a form of initiation.

This is not untrue in the sense of the children having trauma. The Jedi don’t necessarily steal children from their homes, however. In most cases, children are voluntarily taken by the Order from their families and homeworlds because they are force sensitive and require the training the Jedi Order provides. Of course, it’s possible that not all children are given by choice but rather out of desperation, fear, or hatred of the child and their force sensitivity. These all present additional complexities for the trauma these children would have.

The reality is that all children who are taken/given/lose their birth families have some form of trauma. It can manifest as attachment issues, insecurity, behavioural problems and more. It is why Foster Carers are given regular training on trauma for children.

If you want an example of what a Jedi is, compare them to a Foster Carer. Each Jedi has a responsibility to a child to raise, teach, protect, and help heal from harm and trauma. Just like a Foster Carer. And just like a Foster Carer, they answer to a panel, a council, for their actions.

I digress.

Taking children from their parents will always cause some distress and trauma. Even if those parents are horrible people and it’s for the children’s safety, it still is a traumatising experience. So the Jedi taking children from their homes is causing trauma and then reinforcing it inadvertently later on when children who don’t pass ‘muster’ are parsed out to the Corps away from a Second Home.

To steal a paragraph from Vanessa LoBue on their blog Psychology Today, here’s the basic low-down of why children separated from their parents is kinda bad. Even if it’s for a good reason:

First and foremost, separating children from their parents will most certainly cause distress. When we’re distressed, our brains release stress hormones into our bodies, one of the most well-studied of which is called cortisol. Brief or mild periods of stress—perhaps caused by routine vaccinations or a temper tantrum—are normal and don’t generally have long-term negative consequences for the child. Moderate stress responses—from a death in the family, or parents divorcing—are sometimes called “tolerable” stressors; these stress responses don’t necessarily cause long-term harm to a child if they are somehow lessened or soothed by the presence of a parent. The most dangerous kind of stress—called “toxic stress”—can result from a prolonged period of distress without help from a loved one. This kind of stress can cause problems for the development of a child’s brain, and can have serious long-term behavioral consequences, possibly disrupting a child’s ability to regulate their emotions and cope with future stress. It could even be detrimental to learning (Shonkoff, Garner, et al., 2011).

[Ref for the journal paper referenced: Shonkoff, J. P., Garner, A. S., Committee on Psychosocial Aspects of Child and Family Health, & Committee on Early Childhood, Adoption, and Dependent Care. (2011). The lifelong effects of early childhood adversity and toxic stress. Pediatrics, peds-2011.]

Then, as they grow, they are demonized for expressing emotion and forming "attachments." Attachments are human relationships and relationships are integral to mental health. You don't even see Jedi with pets. They have absolutely nowhere to turn to for comfort except the unfeeling void of the Force.

The “attachments are forbidden” line is… I think there is an issue with how we define the term ‘attachment’. The Cambridge Dictionary defines attachment as “a feeling of love or strong connection to someone or something” as well as “a feeling of love and need for another person, for example for a mother by her child”. The core aspect here is connection not necessarily love which we often conflate with attachment. In the Jedi sense, what is advocated is not not loving others and caring about them but rather avoiding forming attachments that will lead to negative emotions and thoughts which may corrupt and cause harm. Essentially, it’s fine to love but it’s not fine to try to possess what you love against its will. Thus, the perspective by the Jedi is that ‘attachment’ is bad because it can lead to harm.

You are completely right that animals, relationships with others and pets, and such are integral to mental health. But we are aware that the Jedi Temple on Coruscant has the gardens, that there are friendships formed with other Jedi and non-Jedi alike by a number of named Jedi in canon (such as Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, Ashoka Tano all befriending non-Jedi). I would not say they have nowhere else to turn to except the Force, nor would I necessarily call it an unfeeling void, only because it is portrayed in canon as a transcendental thing which can soothe, calm, reassure, protect, and empower Jedi when interacted with.

We do have some evidence that forming attachments of any kind is looked down upon, I do agree. I do not necessarily think that it is meant in a harmful manner.

The Jedi order is more akin to a cult than to DBT. They deliberately manipulate the tenets of mindfulness, sterilize them, and offer them to their members like the one true way to live. Mindfulness is *not* about eradicating big emotions, it is about feeling them. Anakin is discouraged from feeling anger multiple times in the prequels and Clone Wars. He is dismissed for his concerns and his suffering is diminished.

The Jedi may have understood mindfulness but only enough to manipulate it with the goal of indoctrinating the children they stole. Anakin is a direct product of their failure.

I have to disagree about the cult thing, honestly. The Jedi Order is a community that you could more accurately compare to, say, The Vatican in that it acts autonomously, still works with the larger government of the place it is located (Italy for The Vatican, the Republic for the Jedi Order). The Order doesn’t enforce its mentality or approach, but it also doesn’t deny Jedi the opportunity to live and experience things; it’s arguably impossible with how wide-reaching the Jedi have to be in the galaxy in order to be effective peacekeepers.

I do, however, agree that in the canon of the Prequels, the portrayal of the Jedi Order does suggest that the Order utilises therapy methods like mindfulness in a manner that does not necessarily encourage acceptance of the self and of one’s emotions. Anakin is cautioned several times about his anger but in the Prequels we’re not given any form of treatment or homework assignment for Anakin to actually work on his anger constructively.

Of course, the Prequels are movies so the focus there is on telling a story rather than showing the nuance of the Jedi Order’s therapeutic approach.

The Jedi Order actually portrays mindfulness more similarly to Buddhist ways than the more recognisable Western Therapy manner. Buddhism is about non-attachment in order to reach spiritual enlightenment. (Regain Us) If you look at the Jedi Order as an in-universe representation of Buddhism and Buddhist philosophy, the entire way the Order operates makes a lot more sense.

In Buddhist philosophy, one of the main aspects of it is non-attachment aka letting go of attachments to material possessions, relationships, thoughts and even emotions. Another main aspect of Buddhist philosophy is of finding the middle way aka balance. These are essential for enlightenment (in-universe: becoming one with the Force) and enable individuals to cultivate wisdom, inner peace, and universal compassion. (Original Buddhas)

DBT actually combines traditional Cognitive Behavioural Therapy with Zen Buddhism, which is reflected in the way the Jedi Order’s own DBT approach presents itself with a central focus on non-attachment. (DBT Self Help)

For a philosophical analysis on attachment and the Jedi Order, I’d recommend Jedi Philosophy: why attachement is forbidden? And why it should be? By WriterBuddha on Wookieepedia. And for an analysis on emotions and the Jedi Order, I’d suggest [Analysis] The Jedi Order and Emotions by WriterBudda on Wookieepedia, also.

Interestingly, the analysis by Paul Shirey on ScreenRant offers a much more negative perspective on the Jedi Order taking children to train, but it seems rather limited in its references for accuracy and specificity of statements. Although there is a reference to a comic book accounting for why children are taken by the Jedi (to protect them from monsters who feed on midichlorian-rich blood). I am aware that the extended Star Wars universe has been both accepted and rejected in recent… in recent and that some of the sources for the reasons Jedi take children, and the how, may be accepted or rejected on this basis. Personally, I enjoy the extended universe still being of relevance even with the newer Star Wars material provided by the movies and shows.

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1. The Jedi steal children from their families and erase their cultures

@bbygirl-obi, I agree that the Jedi still retain aspects of their individual cultures and ways of life from their homeworlds but, truly, it is a vast difference to growing up in it. As a Foster Carer, the challenge of providing a child with access to their birth culture would be dependent on the type of culture, ability to interact with it, and whether or not there is something lost between the child and their culture because they are not actively growing up in it. You can still be connected to your culture, for sure, but there is still… a difference. Children always wonder “is it me” when they’re not Like The Others, when they’re not Raised By Mummy And Daddy For Reasons.

I don’t disagree that the Empire suppresses individuality and culture because it absolutely does. But that’s not what was implied in any way by @dialecticalbehaviorharpy. They argue the Jedi are not performing DBT in the sense you’ve explained it and, to a degree, I agree with them. But that’s because the Jedi Order perform DBT with more emphasis on non-attachment than I, personally, think would be reasonable.

2. The Jedi do not allow emotion

Again, @dialecticalbehaviorharpy did not say the Jedi don’t allow emotion, only that they demonise it. Which is accurate. There are a number of phrases, comments, scenes, etc that all centre on emotion being dangerous if not regulated. If we emphasis danger, we demonise, we other, we create a defined line of what is “safe” and what is not. Is it intentional of the Jedi in the Prequels to seem to imply emotion is a bad thing? No. Honestly, the majority of the sort of cautioning we get on emotion comes from Yoda and Obi-Wan to Anakin. They don’t present Anakin with the chance to really work through his emotions in the Prequel movies (obviously because they’re movies) so they imply emotion = bad. Obviously with The Clone Wars and other supplemental material we gain a more nuanced understanding that the Jedi don’t think emotions are bad, only that it is important to control yourself, your feelings, and not allow yourself to be overwhelmed by them.

Emotion regulation, basically.

3. Attachment is healthy

I agree with you about the attachment.

4. The Jedi don’t have relationships

@dialecticalbehaviorharpy didn’t actually say anything about Jedi relationships but rather about ‘attachments’. Obviously, relationships are normal and vary in type and intensity. Jedi have relationships between Masters and Padawans, Knights, and Initiates. These are more community based relationships but they’re not attachments in the sense meant by Lucas.

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5. Anakin’s actions are entirely the Jedi’s fault

You're right that victim-blaming is Not Good. But Anakin and the Jedi do have some culpability for their actions. A therapist who does not provide therapy in as effective a manner as possible is responsible for failing their client. The Jedi had a responsibility to Anakin, they did fail in that even though they tried. But, of course, there were definitely extenuating circumstances that the Jedi Order had no idea the nature of. They're not to blame for being eradicated, but Anakin struggling with his emotions is partly due to the teaching of the Order, the fact that he was met with hostility as a child by the Council (TPM). However, no reason is reason enough to justify genocide or systematic murder, you are entirely correct.

Anakin is, to make a point clear, being actively manipulated by a Sith Lord who is encouraging Anakin’s instability and making it, so Anakin perceives the helpful tenants of the Jedi Order’s code to be constricting and harmful to him. In achieving that, Sidious achieves something that makes his plans a success because he turns Anakin to the Dark Side based on fear. Years of having someone make comments, inferences, imply this and suggest that has an impact. Emotion regulation for Anakin is something that wasn’t going to happen because of the repeated interference from a manipulative, actively harmful individual.

I don’t think any amount of DBT would have helped Anakin without removing the actual problem from the situation (Sidious) with extreme prejudice first.

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In conclusion, let me say something and make it clear to everyone reading:

Just because a philosophical approach, community outlook, whatever may be based on therapy techniques THAT DOES NOT MAKE IT ACTUALLY THERAPY. THERAPY TAKES TIME, EFFORT, CONSISTENCY, AND DEDICATION. IT IS NOT A ‘WAY OF LIFE’ IT IS A TOOL TO HELP MAKE A WAY OF LIFE FOR SOMEONE THAT IS HEALTHY AND POSITIVE.

"the jedi don't have therapists-"

jedi philosophy, and in particular the practices and teachings that jedi were expected to implement in their everyday lives, was therapy. dialectical behavior therapy (dbt), to be exact. anyone who's familiar with dbt knows where i'm already going with this, but like genuinely look up the basic tenets of dbt and it's identical with what the jedi were doing.

dbt, to put it simply, is a specific therapy technique that was designed for ptsd and past trauma. it's pretty different from traditional talk therapy. it combines a few different environments (individual, group, etc.), recognizing that no single format of treatment can stand alone.

the key focuses of dbt include:

emotional regulation- understanding, being more aware of, and having more control over your emotions

mindfulness- regulating attention and avoiding anxious fixation on the past or future

interpersonal effectiveness- navigating interpersonal situations

distress tolerance- tolerating distress and crises without spiraling and catastrophizing

i'm sure it's already clear from that list alone how much the jedi teachings correspond with the goals of dbt. the jedi value, teach, and practice the following:

identifying and understanding emotions

mindfulness and living in the present

compassion, diplomacy, and conflict resolution (on interpersonal scales, not just planetary or galactic)

accepting and tolerating certain levels of distress or discomfort (particularly mental, such as discomfort at the thought of losing a loved one to death)

idk man seems almost as if jedi mental health practices and dbt are two sides of a completely identical coin. (fun fact: both star wars and dbt are products of the 70s.)

and guess what? dbt was specifically designed as a treatment for borderline personality disorder. remember that one? or, if you don't, maybe you remember a specific character, the one who was literally used as an example by my professor in my undergrad psych class when she was teaching us about bpd?

tldr: simply existing within the jedi community, practicing jedi teachings, surrounded by a support network of other jedi of all life stages, was the therapy for anakin. even when viewed through a modern lens. it was even, more specifically, the precise type of therapy that has developed in modern times to treat the exact types of mental issues he was struggling with.

[cursedmoon-doll13]

‘Imagine Your S/I Was Canon…’ Self-Ship Asks

✍️: Overall, how does the fandom trait you? Are you a beloved character, or hated? Are you popular, or a minor side character? Anything in between?

📝: How would your story in canon go? How would you influence the events of the original story?

🤪: What is your trait that fanon would exaggerate?

🥰: How would someone who loved you portray you?

😡: How would someone who hated you portray you?

👯: What canon character are you most similar to?

🌦️: Would you be accompanied by mostly fluff or angst fanfics? Both? Explain why.

🏷️: What is you and your f/o’s ship name?

❤️: How popular is you x your f/o? Are you a rarepair?

💞: Aside from with your f/o, who else would you commonly be shipped with? Why?

☕️: What are the most common plots of shipping fics between you and your f/o?

🛌: What tropes show up in fics involving your ship?

🪐: What would be your most popular AU and why?

💘: Why would people love your ship? Why would people dislike your ship? How might it start debates?

🙈: Why would your ship be thought of as cute/fluffy? Why would your ship be considered problematic?

🎞️: What ‘canon’ scenes would the fandom point to as evidence for the validity of your ship?

💌: How would your dynamic be portrayed? What might people focus on most? Any misconceptions?

👀: How does your ship with your f/o influence both of your characterisations and the world? Would there be any interesting metas written about your dynamic?

[angelacostumery]

I have not posted on this Tumblr in a thousand years (okay like seven but in internet time that is a millennium) but I took a year off from allll social media and coming back to all these changes on instagram and completely new platforms (I don't know what threads is and at this point I'm too afraid to ask) has made me yearn for the simplicity of Tumblr.

So I'm back. I'm not sure how often I'll post but maybe it will help revive my love of sharing progress of my projects, which is faded thanks to how discouraging the meta algorithms can be.

I feel like the likelihood of any of my followers still being active is slim at best (how are there still 60k people following this blog, really?) but maybe I can find some new ones while I share my new works.

In case you're like, "who is this bitch in my feed" -- I'm Angela, I make historical/fantasy costumes wish varying amounts of success, and I like both talking about the process and seeking validation on the internet. 🥰

[vikingnerd793]

I agree with the reblog completely. I think self-preservation, especially as a slave, can't be inherently seen as selfish or gray. 99.999% of humans have an instinct toward self-preservation. Instinct to survive. So I am not taking something from her character over it.

That does not make her anything less than good.

And, burying negative emotions and trauma? Why wouldn't she when she has no choice ? They're on borrowed time against a very, very dangerous evil that could end everything and everyone. She could die at any moment. Hard to process that trauma and anger and pain when you only have so much time and energy and you're scared you'll lose focus when so much depends on you. Again, not selfish. Self-preservation. She doesn't owe us the bearing of her soul, just because we personally want to see her do that. It comes out at the time she feels like she has a second to process and breathe, and...rightfully so... none of her companions blame her for the wave of emotions in that moment.

She is chaotic good. She is not perfect ....I don't think anyone makes that claim, given how much she loves violence...but she also is not, and I say this with emphasis, anywhere near evil.

Also, The cinnamon roll thing someone mocked fans for in the reblogs? That is literally how she behaves toward those she cares about. And that's OK for people to appreciate that.

Karlach isn't a good girl

Listen, LISTEN. I love her, okay? Now that's out of the way. I see many people reducing her personality to the "big friendly labrador dog" thing. And while it's cute and all that, I disagree. Let me get into why I think Karlach isn't the goodie nice girl she puts a lot of effort to be. She has just returned to Faerun when we meet her in game, and she IS trying her bestest to start anew, to be the best version of herself now that she is free. But it doesn't mean she was always like that, or that her past has not changed her. I think it did - quite a lot, in fact.

Let's start with Gortash. She worked for this fucker. Granted, she might not have known he was such an evil bastard at the time, but she was his bodyguard. And by bodyguard, it is implied that she was his bully, his enforcer and debt collector - you know, the kind that breaks knees and kills people. When she meets an old friend in the city, that friend asks her if she is still in "the business of intimidation", and offers her to come see weapons. Even though Karlach, in her mind, might have been convincing herself that doing such a job was to help someone she respected, she still did it. And that is FINE. She was a young orphan, a tiefling in a place where tieflings are discriminated against harshly, poor and without much perspective. Of course a guy coming over offering her a well paid job that she excelled in would seem like winning a lottery. Still, she was a pretty shady violent person doing it. Now, the Hells. Avernus. She was sold to Zariel quite young still, and went through all sorts of torture and other perks enslavement gets you. For 10 years. She was scared shitless while there, especially in the beginning - she says so herself (to Halsin). All the carnage she inflicted was not (very) voluntary. She HAD to, or she would be the one getting killed. But she enjoyed it - or grew to. She likes violence, the adrenaline of it, the rush of excitement. The thrill of it, she says, is second only to sex.

Continuing on. Avernus, as well as the other layers of the Nine Hells, is not like the Material Plane. The place itself influences you. It means that being in Avernus for any time changes/corrupts/influences who you are. The longer you stay there, the deeper it gets. It did so to Zariel who was a literal angel. Avernus (and it's Archdevil's personality) insidiously get in your body and heart. It is just the way it goes, lore-wise, in DnD. If a fucking SOLAR wasn't immune to it, Karlach - young and lost - certainly wouldn't be either. Even more so because she was near Zariel all the time. I strongly believe Karlach was getting more and more exactly like Zariel - who herself is a fierce berserker warrior who charges head first into battle. Zariel is KNOWN to be this crazy strong, insane, fearless and (in her mind) righteous demon-smiting war machine. Sounds similar to a nice red tiefling we know, doesn't it? Now, did Zariel chose Karlach beause she was already like this, or did Karlach took after Zariel while she fought with her? Hard to tell. In any case, Karlach's 10 years in the Hells did change her. Needless to say, Avernus doesn't change you for the better. It doesn't mean that Karlach became "evil" - she is obviously far from it. But she is chaotic, violent and bloodthirsty. She is also selfish. There are several situations where this personality trait of her comes up.

It may sound kinda wild considering how she offers to help everyone and even sacrifice herself (since she's already dying anyway) - when we meet her. But that's the thing: she is being as selfless as she can now because she has been very selfish for a very long time (proof she has a conscience). Perhaps, she is terrified of what she was becoming and is trying to make amends, to revert whatever evil was growing in her.

She mentions herself that she did not help the tieflings of Elturel when their city was pulled down into Avernus. She did not get out of her way to help them. Instead, she thought that if "she was living that nightmare, they'd have to live it too". She would not put her neck on the line to help another - which, not so coincidentally, is typical behavior in the Hells (again, proof that Avernus was indeed getting to her). The Hag's Vicious Mockery targeted specifically at Karlach mentions how she is willing to "sell everyone's soul's if it means she can save hers". We do not know exactly what it refers to - soul coins, throwing others under the bus, ignoring people in need - but it reinforces the idea that Karlach was not the nicest person for at least 12+ years. Granted, the devils around her were much worse - but they are DEVILS in HELL. So.

Generally, in game we notice that her effort to survive and stay alive has pushed her selfishness to grow. But it still is selfishness. Another example is how she disapproves (together with Astarion), if you say to healer Nettie that you "swear to drink the Wyvern poison". She wouldn't drink it. She'd rather kill Nettie (that gets hostile).

Another hint at her grey-ish personality is when she talks to/about Wyll after he is punished by Mizora for not having killed Karlach. She mentions that she would NOT have done the same in his place. That he was better than her. Again, she would not put her skin on the line like that. She would and has turned a blind eye to situations and persons if it meant it would guarantee her survival or avoid injury. (Mind you, I 100% belive she would do this sacrifice if she was in love with someone, though.)

She will ask to, and will use Soul Coins even though she knows it's morally a sus choice to do so. If you play as her she will repeat to herself "I won't use them, they are people's souls - and I am GOOD." like she is trying to convince herself. Because she would fucking use them to smash some big fuckers in a blink - and feel awesome while doing it. Even as her, she keeps insisting "But... maybe I can use them... JUST when I really need them." Additionally, when she talks to the bugbear merchant in Moonrise Towers and he offers her soul coins, she doesn't really feel guilty for the stories of the souls in them. She even says at some point "they are already doomed, so why not use them anyway", justifying that she will only kill evil bastards with them. In any case, the morality of her choice is debatable. It makes clear that Karlach is not "lawful good" by any stretch.

Let me reiterate that just because I am saying all this about Karlach, doesn't mean I dislike her. I think she is abso-fucking-lutely the best character in the game. But I hate to see her personality "flattened" to nice happy go lucky gal. I think she has a grey-tinged personality - she has good and bad aspects to herself; she has character flaws too.

But I also think that she is trying her damn hardest to be the best she can be right then. The opposite of what she's been. Maybe it is because she has so little time left, that she needs to be the absolute best version of herself while she can. Perhaps she is trying to be what she would have been if her parents did not die - because they seemed like great loving parents. And I think Karlach didn't turn into a broken evil maniac because of them, the way they raised her while they were alive. But she lost her mom at 6, her father around 13-15. After that, it was struggling on the streets, Gortash and Zariel - betrayal, violence, carnage, war and loneliness. It is too naive to think a person would not change after all this, that Karlach would not carry more scars than those she shows on her body. To her credit, she turned much MUCH better than anyone would have. She WILL kill with a grin on her face, seek violence, blood and even revel in it - she learned to relish it and now it's part of who she is. She is selfish, she will look out for herself and has no qualms about killing or throwing people she doesn't care for under the bus (if she sees justification for it). BUT she knows what evil is, and doesn't let shit happen to people who don't deserve it. She will side with those who suffer prejudice and fight against what she sees as injustice - but even she has a limit to how far she'd go.

If you raid the Emerald Grove, she will leave the party. To me, this screams of her trying to right her past wrongs. She left the Elturians to their fate once before, so she MUST save them now that she has another chance - and that it won't cost her her life. I love her being 1/3 brutal killing machine (and fucking LOVING it), 1/3 ptsd, fear and overcompensating trauma under a smile, and 1/3 just trying her best, really, and being lovely for it. Phew. That was a long rant. I guess I just wanted to organize my thoughts about it a bit :V

[shanastoryteller]

ShanaStoryteller's Supernatural Masterlist

since i can't stop posting about this stupid show ...

Fic (sort of):

the trials plotline if the writers weren't cowards the day his deal comes due, sam is missing demon!jess au s4 if they hadn't character assassinated dean au where john doesn't go missing children yearn for the original s3 ending pt 2 s5 sam in a universe where he died in the fire Apocalypse Never the boy with the demon blood Let the Beltane Fires Burn

prompts:

Three True Things Samwena AU Samwena AU, Part 2

Meta /Random:

9x07 bad boys jack calling sam sammy the og plan for s3 demon!dean in s4 dean and his canon love interests dean/benny john was willing to kill sam s4 dean why dead in the water retcon writing john no wonder john kicked him out winchester family dynamics "dean centric" recs fics where i like cas sam validation fics it's gotta be fucked up or what's the point s4 should have been dean's rock bottom

[partfae]

Sauron, Galadriel, & Tolkien's Theology of Repentance - Part One

Summary: Character meta analysis on Sauron (and Galadriel, through the lens of Sauron). Based on both Silmarillion & RoP canon. 3.5k words. Discussion of Catholic theology involved. Blanket TW for discussion of violence, manipulation, etc., because Sauron. Spoilers for S1 & S2 and the Silmarillion, of course. The tragedy of Sauron is that he gets offered so many legitimate chances at redemption and forgiveness, and he denies them every single time. But we know he wants absolution, because that’s what he sees Galadriel as: his chance to bind himself back to the light, to be Mairon again, to heal the pain that he caused and that was caused to him under Morgoth. But because he has such a warped view of himself and his actions, he dismisses genuine extensions of compassion, forgiveness, and care as simultaneously beneath him and too good for him. And yet, he still pursues redemption, but through none of the channels offered to him.

In The Rings of Power, he’s given the explicit instruction to change for the good in the village after he’s reborn. He’s given the chance leave his past behind and work meaningfully in Númenor. He’s given the chance to redeem himself by Galadriel's offer of friendship (or love, depending on your interpretation). In the Silmarillion, he's even given the chance by Eönwë himself, and comes close to leaving Morgoth behind completely!

Let's look at this passage from Of the Rings of Power and the Third Age (emphasis mine):

When Thangorodrim was broken and Morgoth overthrown, Sauron put on his fair hue again and did obeisance to Eönwë the herald of Manwë, and abjured all his evil deeds. And some hold that this was not at first falsely done, but that Sauron in truth repented, if only out of fear, being dismayed by the fall of Morgoth and the great wrath of the Lords of the West. But it was not in the power of Eönwë to pardon those of his own order, and he commanded Sauron to return to Aman and there receive the judgement of Manwë. Then Sauron was ashamed, and he was unwilling to return in humiliation to receive from the Valar a sentence, it might be, of long servitude in proof of his good faith; for under Morgoth his power had been great. Therefore when Eönwë departed he hid himself in Middle-earth; and he fell back into evil, for the bonds that Morgoth had laid upon him were very strong.

This passage is clear that Eönwë is willing to pardon Sauron--he simply did not posses the power to do so. But when Sauron was told he must appeal directly Manwë, he gave up entirely and skulked back to Middle-earth. There are a few ways to read this:

1. He was not wholly repentant

Sauron simply wanted the protection of a new master in the absence of Melkor. i.e., he was rather fickle and simply wanted to be on whatever the "winning" side was. This is supported by the text literally saying that at least some of his obeisance was completely false, and that he only made a point of feeling bad about anything once his master had been chucked into the Void and his armies and strongholds were being destroyed (Thangorodrim). In this reading, perhaps Eönwë saw Sauron's treachery and referred him to Manwë knowing that it would be a test of his true intent. However, while a valid interpretation, I believe this to be the less holistic of the two.

2. He was truly repentant

Sauron did truly feel badly and "abjured all his evil deeds," but he was unwilling/unable to humble himself after being so fundamentally broken by Melkor and developing an insatiable power lust (hey, he isn't defined in the narrative by lust and pride for nothing).

Earlier in this same chapter, Tolkien wrote that Sauron could "...deceive all but the most wary." This is in the specific context of his physical shapeshifting. But, I would argue that this can also be tied to his lies. Tolkien has a specific ethic of beauty, where physical perfection is equated with moral goodness. Sauron completely inverts what is otherwise a hard and fast rule within Tolkien's writings by being the character most frequently described as "fair"--seven times to Lúthien's six, and she was the most beautiful woman to have ever lived!

(Side note: I have another post on Tolkien & beauty in the works where I'll get more into this idea)

Why does this matter? Even though this interaction with Eönwë takes place in the First Age, Sauron could at this point be in the demonic form Mirdania describes in the forge. And, I am inclined to believe that Eönwë, as the head Maiar and herald of Manwë, would be a pretty wary guy, and thus able to sense any of Sauron's trickery. I read this to mean that Eönwë looked at Sauron and saw his potential to be Mairon again, either in absence of his evil form or in spite of it.

Because Sauron is incredibly beautiful. And even if it is a disguise of the true, depreciated form of his spiritual essence, he presented himself to Eönwë at his most beautiful. He wanted, even in his act of repentance, to make himself more favorable in Eönwë's eyes. To show up as Mairon (who was likely close friends with Eönwë before everything went down, since they are considered to be two of the most powerful Maia and would have worked closely together).

But I don't think this was all manipulation on Sauron's end. I agree with the scholars mentioned in the text who believed that Sauron was truly repentant--which is why Eönwë even bothered referring him to Manwë instead of kicking him into the Void with Melkor.

And this is the tragedy: Sauron is told exactly how to repent, and believes fundamentally that it is an impossible path for him. And yet, he still longs so intrinsically for it! He was, under Aulë, a Maia of precision, perfection, and order. Under Morgoth, he feels disordered, dis-regulated. He needs to correct the fundamental imbalance within him, so why does he flee Eönwë?

It comes back to Sauron's pride.

If he follows through with this path of reconciliation, there is no way he can hide or pretend his actions away. If he cannot trick his fellow Maiar, he certainly cannot trick the Valar. And he cannot stand the idea of submitting himself back under their rule, especially now that he has tasted power. This is a pride wound; it is why the idea of confessing to Manwë would be humiliating to him as opposed to just upsetting/uncomfortable.

Again, the pivotal moment: he is told how to make amends for crimes and determines that he cannot do it. So he returns to Middle-earth and stews in his own self-hated and self-pity for a few years. In that time, he consciously or subconsciously latches onto Eönwë's offer--forgiveness from penance. It is the way forward. And if he cannot earn penance at Manwë's hand, he will do it on his own.

The Prodigal Son

This is where we have to talk about the Catholic roots of Tolkien's work for a moment. The scene where Sauron approaches Eönwë mirrors the biblical parable of the prodigal son. In this story, a man abandons his family, spends all his money, and falls into ruin. But when he recognizes his failings and returns to his father to get help, he is welcomed back into the family without question--in other words, he is forgiven and restored to his former position.

17 But when he [the prodigal son] came to himself he said, “How many of my father’s hired hands have bread enough and to spare, but here I am dying of hunger! 18 I will get up and go to my father, and I will say to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; treat me like one of your hired hands.’” 20 So he set off and went to his father. But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him. - Luke 15:11-32, NRSV CE (emphasis mine)

The parallel is clear; Mairon, the repentant Maia, returns home with hopes of reconciliation. He is prescribed the same task that the prodigal son offered to his father: he must be bound in servitude to his father/creator in order to pay off his debts. This is a deliberate allusion from Tolkien. The story of the prodigal son models the path of reconciliation that Eönwë describes. Tolkien seems to be drawing a line in the sand with this: Sauron is unwilling to do the work required by the Valar for repentance, so he is unable to receive the grace of a warm welcome back into the fold of the Ainur. Since he did not humble himself, he has to be told to do it. And he does not want to! He wants to be loved, but he also wants his power--evidence, in a way, of how his character was fundamentally altered in his time with Morgoth.

His pride--and his fear--cut him off from the potential of grace. He does not know for certain that Manwë would subject him to servitude (though I would argue that it's textually evident that it is a custom), but this assumption leads him to flee, which allows him to slip back into his old ways.

He wants to be Mairon (admirable) again, not Sauron (abhorrent). He wants to be accepted and loved, but not punished. He wants the benefits of reconciliation without the work he would have to do to earn it or the shame he would feel as he did. It's pride, but it's also deep shame--the flip side of his extreme ego is an implicit self-hatred, one that we can see in the subtext of how he speaks about himself and about his time with Morgoth.

Even the language Tolkien uses is heavily shame-coded, especially in a Catholic context; Mairon did not go willingly, he was "seduced." He admits to Celebrimbor that he was "tortured by a god". It becomes exceedingly clear through both text and on-screen canon that Sauron was routinely broken and abused for centuries. This has fundamentally damaged his self-perception, which is ultimately what leads him to "[fall] back into evil"--whether due to pride or shame, he hides, perhaps because he consciously or subconsciously does not believe that he deserves forgiveness, no matter how much he craves it.

Naked in the Garden

His flight back to Middle-earth after meeting Eönwë is reminiscent of another biblical scene, where Adam and Eve, after committing the first sin, hide from God in shame and fear (emphasis mine):

7 Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked...9 But the Lord God called to the man, and said to him, “Where are you?” 10 He said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.” -Genesis 7-10, NRSV CE

The image of nakedness is, here, one of vulnerability, and Tolkien establishes that Sauron fears that which he cannot control. He needs the Rings under his power. He needs his armies and his enemies under his watchful eye. He is petrified of letting his power slip away (possibly due to never wanting to feel powerless in the hands of a Vala, fallen or not, again).

The biblical allusion here hearkens back to the fear Tolkien describes Sauron as feeling regarding his return to the Ainur. In the religious system Tolkien has established, which is likely inspired by his own religious beliefs, Sauron has sinned, and must make penance. But he is afraid of God/Manwë, and does not want to "let go" of his sin. In other words, he is not truly repentant. This reflects the Catholic sacrament of confession, which requires self-reflection and resolve to never commit the sin again.

Instead of shame driving him to contrition, it drives him to isolation.

But he still wants forgiveness. So, in his years of hiding in Middle-earth, he decides to earn it himself. His own way.

Enter the Rings.

Sauron wants to perfect the wrong he wreaked so that he can both earn his way back into the Ainur and keep his power. But what he does not realize is that this does not work. Eönwë is clear that he must forsake his true temptation--absolute power--through penance by submission. Yet Sauron in his pride thinks he can have it all. Sauron is a very carefully controlled villain, and the only times he snaps or makes significant mistakes are when his inflated self-perception is challenged, revealing the self-loathing and/or self-pity underneath. The best example of this is when he kills Celebrimbor prematurely, and cries afterwards. Why? Because Celebrimbor was right about him, and he hates it. He hates knowing that he is nothing more than the Morgoth's shadow, because Morgoth was his master as much as he was his tormentor. As Sauron puts it, his relationship with Morgoth was often defined by pain as a test to see "whose will was the mightier":

This image carries more shame, both in its implicit sexual connotations and in the simple power dynamic of it. Sauron, even though misguided, is rallying against Morgoth. He wants to break what Morgoth has created and build something new, something better, something apart from his old master entirely. But Celebrimbor confronts him with reality: he has not created something new, and perfect, and special, as he so wanted to--he can only act in imitation, not in generation. And when he got close with the Rings, it cost him everything. It's almost like he wants the power of a Vala, and loathes that he cannot attain it.

And this is why he becomes so singularly obsessed with Galadriel.

She’s his foil. They both crave power and adoration, but in the end of things, she does not fold under his temptation. She turns down everything she has ever wanted for the greater good and for the sake of her own soul. Sauron looks at Galadriel and perceives that she would have succeeded at Eönwë's test because she is willing and able to humble herself. This maddens him to the point of both desiring her and desiring to break her.

She learns that she is easily tempted and becomes strong enough to handle it (through a lot of tough love from Elrond & co.). She has to learn how to do it, but she is able to.

She grows from someone who resisted and rejected authority to someone who is trusted as an authority because of her ability to wield it wisely (see: Gil-galad allowing her to answer for him in 2x08).

In other words, she earns the trust, love, and support of her community. Sauron has to force his to comply—it is an illusion of love.

His possessive obsession with her also stems from her fairness. She was the object of her uncle Fëanor's obsessive desire for creation as well. Her hair was the inspiration of the Silmarils (see: The History of Galadriel and Celeborn; The Shibboleth of Fëanor - source with page #s here), which Morgoth desired more than anything to possess.

Sauron, wanting to spite his master, wants one better--to own that which inspired the Silmarils, to own the image of fairness (and thus of moral good) completely. This is why he wants to bind himself to her. This is why he needs her. He sees Galadriel as his mechanism of repentance, and his last triumph over Morgoth. Winning her is his salvation as much as it is proving that his will is the mightier. It is his way of dominating Morgoth. This starts, I think, as a genuine effort at proving himself to the Valar, but quickly consumes him entirely. He is overcome with the desire for revenge, just as Galadriel was at the beginning of the First Age.

And he sees this in her. Sees their similarities. Sees that she, too, is angry and lonely and so afraid of losing her power. And he leverages that to befriend her. This is where it gets ambiguous and you can read RoP as either painting the image of Sauron being earnest but completely misguided in his proposal, or you can see it as him being entirely manipulative.

I think the truth of that scene probably falls somewhere in the middle; just like when he presents himself to Eönwë, he is sincere in his desire, but only knows how to present it in an inherently contriving way. He does want to bind her to him, so he tries to only reveal to her the good aspect of that desire (and also of his desire for power, which he allows her to see because he believes that it is good and also because she understands it), and not the ugly underside of his internal struggle against Morgoth, the Valar, and himself.

And I do think, in his own way, he cared about her. Galadriel consistently shows kindness and compassion to him. In S1, they grow to know each other's minds and souls, and she considers him a close friend. He finds comfort in this, that someone could see the blackness of his heart and care for him anyway. He thought, in his isolation, that he lost that chance when he fled back to Middle-earth. And here is the very picture of the light itself telling him that she supports him, that she sees the good in him, that she wants to help him set the world to rights! Of course he is infatuated by this. Of course he also wants to use it. He is Sauron.

But Galadriel succeeds where he fails, so he stops playing nice and tries to forcibly drag her down with him. First, by baiting her with the image of the man she cared deeply for:

Then, by reminding her of all she is losing by rejecting him:

And she is still strong enough to say no. And not just to say no, but to shut the door completely. To look in the face of everything she has desired for centuries and turn it down, understanding that it will ruin her. Yes, she hesitates. Yes, she still wants it (wants him). But she wins the day by holding fast to the light that Sauron wishes so badly to bind himself to.

Because she has lost everything--her brother, her husband, the station as commander, the trust of her high king and best friend--and earns it back only through her resistance of her greatest temptation. It is a struggle, it is painful, it nearly kills her--but she does it. She wins the test that Sauron could not even bear to face.

In their headlong, self-sacrificial tendencies, they are the same. Both view themselves as fundamentally stronger/better than their peers while also being deeply lonely due to their self-imposed isolation (Galadriel's laser-focused hunt for revenge, Sauron's exile in Middle-earth). But to Galadriel, the light is more important than her pride.

For Sauron, the light is his source of pride. He desires it more than anything, but condemns himself to never being able to touch it due to his rejection of Eönwë's offer. Paradoxically, he tries to grasp at it through Galadriel, the living silmaril, and succeeds only in darkening her. We learn from Gil-galad in 2x08 that his crown piercing her flesh in an act of brutal domination nearly strips her soul from her and pitches it into the unseen world. In this, Sauron is saying: If I cannot have you, I will force you to need me. I will break you into loving me.

He says this to Celebrimbor as well. He no longer knows how to love properly. He only knows how to inflict pain until this object of his obessive desire needs him--just like how his immortal spirit was broken into submission by Morgoth. And isn't this revealing of his own sense of self? He refuses to suffer the path of light, but willingly suffers the maddening path of darkness because it is a comfortable, familiar suffering. One, he tells Celebrimbor, he even grew to enjoy (2x08). As the path of the Rings drive him madder and madder, his desire for the light (Galadriel) and the return of his power (Celebrimbor) become further disordered and corrupted until they culminate in him destroying them--and his chance at earning/owning them--entirely.

And this is Sauron's ultimate point of no return (which we will hopefully see in S3 🤞). The razing of Eregion and slaying of Celebrimbor were acts of petty rage he committed when his pride was injured. This was the final nail in the coffin. Galadriel, in her rejection of him, ruins what he sees as his true chance for redemption.

Galadriel, now stepping into the role of Eönwë, re-opens the invitation: "Heal yourself!" (2x08). But in rage and shame and stubborn pride, he turns it down again. I believe this is where his desire to heal Middle-earth shifts fundamentally into desire to dominate Middle-earth. He always wanted to rule, but now he wants to own.

[brynnsasha191]

(Tldr at the end) Okay here goes.

People really misunderstood Callum in episode two, s7 (that's okay, the writers didn't do a great job of conveying what I'm about to say, no hate to them though) Callum did not betray Ezran

I see a lot of people criticizing Callum for prioritizing Rayla instead of Ez and saying Rayllum is toxic because it got in the way of familial relationships. But that's not what Callum's actions were really about, they weren't about "oh rayla is upset so I'm going to burn down all bridges for her" like a lot of people seem to think. His actions had a lot to do with Rayla but they also had a lot to do with the fact that Callum genuinely believed what Ezran was doing wasn't right.

(btw I'm writing this with Callum's opinions in mind, I'm not just projecting mine on Callum. I believe Runaan did something wrong and deserved punishment for it, and I believe both Rayla and Ez were both right and wrong. I am on everyone's side)

In the beginning of the episode, we see Callum trying to reason with Rayla and defend Ezran by telling her to give him a minute to process what recently happened to him. And he says "he [runaan] did kill it's king" but he never actually said he agreed with Ezran, he was just trying to get Rayla to see Ezran's side.

Ezran and Rayla's fight during the council meeting was understandable upsetting for Callum, his two favorite people were fighting. And when he tried to follow Rayla to get her to come back, Ezran commanded him to do otherwise, as the king, Ezran has a right to do that. But that moment probably felt uncomfortable and belittling and frustrating for Callum, it's the same unhealthy push and pull dynamic that I talked about in my 'why Callum shouldn't be high mage' meta. It made Callum disinterested in the council meeting, and while that's not Ezran's fault, it is the same corner that the broyals keep walking themselves into.

Callum goes outside and sees Rayla crying, that is also understandably distressing for him, but he doesn't blame Ezran at all. He apologizes for his choice in that moment, he says he should've gone after her, not "Ezran shouldn't have done that or said that", if Callum was completely choosing Rayla over Ez, he easily could've deflected the blame to him, but he didn't, he apologized for his own actions which to me shows that Callum isn't the type to blame Ezran unnecessarily.

When Callum goes to Ezran and calls him a jerk face (very uncool thing of him to say to Ezran, Ezran didn't deserve that) Rayla and Callum already finished their conversation where Rayla decided to secretly get Runaan out, there wasn't a point to try to convince Ezran to let Runaan out then. He went to Ezran, not to convince him to free Runaan, but to convince Ez he wasn't doing the right thing. As the scene progresses, Callum's voice gets softer and he starts speaking sensibly and reasonably without ad hominem attacks. He acknowledges Ezran's feelings about Katolis being destroyed but also acknowledges that that particular part of Ezran's pain isn't connected to Runaan. And Ezran has no problem sharing his true feelings with Callum, Callum doesn't dismiss them once. He puts his hand on Ezran's shoulder and validates his feelings, also not to mention he apologizes immediately after calling Ez a jerk face. And when Ezran says "he killed our father" Callum doesn't know how to respond because he isn't completely siding with R&R. He knows Ez has a point.

Rayla and Runaan could have been seriously injured during the fight with Soren and the soldiers. Aanya was going to shoot them, and Ezran was going to let her. It's really weird that this fandom seems to think Callum should've sat by and not stood up for them. Callum absolutely shouldn't have condoned Rayla breaking Runaan out without permission, he should've told her to stop and stay put until he had a chance to talk to Ezran's more. But that's not what happened, what happened was a messy game of tug-o-war between two people who love each other that nearly killed people and almost destroyed relationships. Callum didn't choose Rayla, he chose what he thought was right, and that was not Ezran at the time. People get so mad at him for not standing by Ezran's side but he wanted to, but standing by someone's side doesn't mean sitting back and letting them do something that you believe is wrong.

He gave up his role as High Mage because he knew he couldn't continue to play that role after this, for him and Ezran's sake. He can't be his High Mage but he'll always be his brother.

TLDR: Callum actually did handle this situation maturely. The problem didn't lie with Callum or anyone else. This situation was an ugly and messy one that anyone would have a hard time navigating especially a kid who the people closest to him in the entire world were actively hurting each other. He's willing to do anything for Rayla, but this isn't about choosing Rayla, it's about what he thought was right.

[stardustedknuckles]

I was gonna put it in the tags of a post aabria made but didn't want to be like "hey also my thing!" on a serious post so like. She's pointed out that people's unwillingness to understand that people in the citadel have been and are being good to Suvi absolutely sucks ass and she's right. I admire Suvi as a character and Aabria as the player so much as someone who grew up in church - not just in it but of it. Dad was a pastor, I was in the choir, I taught classes, the whole shebang.

Almost everything about church was fucked to hell, looking back, and I'll carry damage and guilt from it for a longer time yet. Possibly forever. But the people I learned from, admired, befriended, and surrounded myself with were not evil colonizers looking to eradicate every other religion or force convert people or what have you. They were just people living under an ideology that did a whole lot of harm to people outside of it and demanded, as part of its tenets, that you restrict yourself from mingling too much with the Others lest you be confused and turn away from what is written. Hell the Citadel hasn't shown itself to be even that pervasive. I haven't heard a single person question Suvi's conviction to the work of the citadel because of the company she keeps.

Anyway my point is that there is absolutely no reason for Suvi to turn on or even grossly doubt the Citadel, questions about the spells on her nonwithstanding. Aabria is playing on a level of refusing to meta game that is incredible to watch and which makes her point of view very easy to relate to. Suvi's community is stepping up for her. Her friends love her, AND they are upset for valid reasons and puzzling through their own ways of looking at the world - ways that do not come with a manual/guide the way life at the Citadel does. Nothing has been laid before Suvi at this point that would warrant more than a few concerns, let alone full divestment from the Citadel and everyone else Suvi has ever loved, certainly not in the name of two people she would give her life for but who do not in any way have their shit together.

They're just people. Steel is a good person. She is kind, she is sincere, frighteningly intelligent, and a fierce advocate not only for those who are hers but those outside the citadel who deserve respect for the way they see the world and move through it.

Steel is also the right hand of the empire. That is, in fact, the point.

I'm sorry a lot of y'all can only handle stories that soothe hard choices with "well they were bad/mean to you/bigots anyway" and lay it on thick until the moment the character has had enough. That's not actually how any of this works and the realer view of how someone like Suvi would in fact view the world and her place in it is airtight. The chops on Aabria for sticking to it and on Brennan for refusing to mark citadel citizens as evil across the board (or hardly at all) is incredible and the refusal to entertain those ideas as a fan is in fact a skill issue in nearly every case.

[qqueenofhades]

Good Omens Season 2: Some Thoughts (and also Screaming)

First, /screams

Second, obligatory disclaimer that this meta contains MAJOR SPOILERS for all six episodes. If you somehow have managed to remain virginally unspoiled, look away now, scroll past, or add "good omens s2" and "good omens spoilers" to your block list, as those are the tags I have been using for all posts and reblogs.

Third, /screams more

Okay okay okay. Deep breaths.

Anyway, so, uh, how about all that, huh? First, the good thing about the tone of the season overall was that it felt considerably darker and more adult, in a good way. We didn't have the precocious kiddies, the kitsch and literally-comphet Anathema and Newt, the so-clever narration, etc. All that was gone, which makes sense when you consider that a) the end of last season saw them reboot into an entirely new universe, and b) the fact that God has gone silent is, in fact, a major plot point for the season. We don't have Her slyly telling us the story, or indeed anything, and everyone is left to make their own judgments and take their own actions. Which, obviously, gets them into a lot of trouble, especially when Metatron (the Voice of God, aka someone acting in the belief that they're speaking for God and therefore doing terrible harm) swoops in with the ultimate buzzkill at the end of episode 6. But we'll get to that.

The downside was that the main, present-day plot (hiding Gabriel in the bookshop and trying to get Nina and Maggie to fall in love) was fairly thin, felt stretched out and at times weirdly paced, and otherwise existed mostly to get us to That Ending and the setup for season 3. But the ending was so damn good (if obviously, very painful) that I can't be TOO mad, not least because we spent six episodes with them just making absolutely no pretense about the whole thing being as incredibly homosexual as possible. I'll be honest: I did not think they were going to actually, explicitly go there. Neil Gaiman has been so consistent about "your interpretations are valid and you're welcome to read it however you want, but the only canon is what's on screen," which I think is frankly a good thing (not least since the Neil GAYman Cinematic Universe is consistently very, very good to us queers), that I just... didn't quite think they'd pull the trigger. Sir Terry is dead and can't have active input, this is based on a book published 30 years ago, maybe they didn't want to make it LIKE THAT... etc. I certainly hoped, but I didn't really think they would.

Uh. Well.

As I said in my various semi-coherent liveblog posts, I honestly don't think there was a single straight person in the entire season, among both major and background characters. Aziraphale/Crowley and Maggie/Nina are the obvious paralleling couples, but Beelzebub (using "they" pronouns and addressed as "Lord" despite presenting as femme/femme-adjacent) is clearly nonbinary and therefore also queer, and the countless gay/queer side characters were just /chefs kiss. From Job's son making a sassy pass at Aziraphale, to the random Scottish goon with Grindr on his phone (which he then gives to Aziraphale, because what is subtlety), to the interracial couple with the trans spouse at the Pride and Prejudice ball, there was just a lot of casual, unremarked, non-story-critical queer representation visible at every turn. It's like the NGCU saw the bigots wailing about Sandman season 1 being extremely gay and went CHALLENGE ACCEPTED, LET'S MAKE GOOD OMENS 2 EVEN MORE GAY.

God bless.

Obviously, Jon Hamm as Amnesia!Gabriel stole the show (he was SO fucking funny) and it was also incredibly fun to watch Miranda Richardson repurposed as a scheming demon. Nina Sosanya also reappeared as Nina the coffee shop owner, which leads us into the Maggie-and-Nina subplot. They're obviously, wildly, incredibly clearly an analogue for Aziraphale and Crowley themselves, but they're also each, crucially, a mix of both. On the surface, Maggie is Aziraphale: the plump, blonde, earnest, sweet-natured one owning a slightly dated book music shop and somewhat clueless about emotional nuances, while Nina is (also on the surface) Crowley, the hard-edged dark loner who doesn't want to open herself up to people or be spotted caring. But emotionally, Maggie is Crowley: the one openly pining, clearly besotted, only wanting to hang around their crush and do whatever they can to make themselves useful, while Nina is Aziraphale. Interested but reticent, attracted but conflicted, trapped in an abusive relationship with a demanding offscreen "lover" (Lindsay/Heaven) who tries to constantly control and shame them without ever offering much, if anything in return. By the end, they bring themselves around to what Maggie/Crowley are offering, but by then, well. We've got a lot more problems on our hands.

As I also said in my earlier posts, this entire thing has always been a metaphor for religion, queerness, and what religion -- especially abusive, fundamentalist, organized religion -- does to queer people, but they really cranked the FUCK out of that metaphor this season. Aziraphale is guilt-tripped, controlled, and shamed for his attraction to Crowley at every turn. He is torn between his imagined duty to Heaven, in all its ignorant, uncaring, bureaucratic, gratuitously cruel system that he still insists on seeing the best in because he can't bear the alternative, and the chaotic and sometimes grey but genuinely more good morality that Crowley offers him. (Can I just say, we were explicitly shown that the two of them together doing "just a little miracle" are more powerful than Heaven AND Hell combined.) And at the end, he's told that the only way he can be with Crowley -- what Metatron explicitly blackmails him with -- is if they both go back to heaven, submit themselves to the cruel system again and give up everything that has made them who they are: their home in London, their human friends, their reliance on each other, their independence, their own ways of doing things. You can be queer in this (religious) framework, but only the limited, watered-down, controlled, controllable, constantly-under-supervision kind of queer, which relies on both you and your lover "converting" back to the true faith. And if you don't cooperate, they will literally kidnap you, lie to you, manipulate you, take you from your soulmate, and force you right back into doing the one thing (destroying the world) that you never, ever wanted to do in the first place, because in their minds, that is still better than this. It's for your own good.

Ouch.

And the thing is: that's why the ending a) hits so hard and b) is so fucking painful, because of course Aziraphale agrees. He has no conception of being able to defy Heaven on his own; he has always, always needed Crowley for that. In the flashbacks, when Aziraphale is faced with an order from Heaven that he desperately does not want to carry out (such as letting all Job's children get killed), he still relies completely on Crowley to "outsmart the rules" and find a better way. Crowley is A Crafty Demon; that's what he does, and so Aziraphale rationalizes it to himself that therefore that must be fine. Even in season 1, when he really didn't want the Apocalypse to happen but initially thought it was his duty as a good Heaven footsoldier, he relied on Crowley to talk him out of it and allow him to do what he really wants instead. That's their whole dynamic in a nutshell, as exemplified in that scene in episode 2, where Crowley tempts Aziraphale with the "pleasures of the flesh" while sprawled on his back in Ravish Me mode like the giant walking gay disaster that he is. (Sorry, buddy. That beard. Can't do it.) Everything that Aziraphale's existence is, that makes him who he is, that he loves and cherishes the most (in this case, food and wine) comes from Crowley. Everything else is just background noise.

Throughout the season, what we see is Aziraphale increasingly coming around to the fantasy of being with Crowley. He's coy and flirty; he talks about "our car" and expects Crowley will let him (which he does); he wants to have a Jane Austen ball and for them to dance together (oh my heart); he even thinks, at the crucial moment, that the best way for them to be together is to go back to heaven just like they were in the beginning, once more perfect angels, as if those entire six thousand years of struggle and grief and pining and separation and falling didn't happen. And Crowley -- poor, poor, brave, devoted, heartbroken Crowley -- has just heard for the first time in said six thousand years that actually telling the person you love how you feel is an option. Maggie and Nina tell them point-blank that their whole stupid plan failed because people aren't chess pieces who can be moved and automatically achieve the desired result. And of course this gobsmacks the dearest and dumbest Ineffable Husbands, because they can't conceive of anything else. People are chess pieces in the Great War of Heaven and Hell; Aziraphale and Crowley themselves are chess pieces who have been desperately trying to get out of being moved by external forces, but that doesn't change the fact that that's what they are. They don't have volition or agency aside from that which they can sneak for themselves in brief and stolen moments. That's it.

Until, well. It's not it. They discover that this whole would-be war is actually an elaborate ruse to cover up another angel-demon romance, that of Gabriel and Beelzebub. (I'll be honest, I'm 99% sure they did this storyline because they saw the fans crackshipping them, but I appreciate a fictional narrative that values and incorporates its fans' input, rather than trying to constantly "trick" or "outsmart" them or "do what they don't expect.") And Gabriel and Beelzebub get to be together, but only by leaving their world forever. They have to desert their homes, their structures, even their own identities, and never return. And Crowley and Aziraphale are so rooted in their "precious, perfect, fragile" life in their little corner of Soho, with their bookshop and their Bentley and their dining at the Ritz (which they didn't get to do in the end because METATRON /shakes fist), that that just doesn't work. Neither of them can conceive of doing that. So Aziraphale thinks "go back to heaven and try to make the terrible system do some good and take what we can in terms of being together" and Crowley just... pours out his heart. He's ready to fucking propose. He barely stops himself from saying something to the effect of "I want to spend eternity with you." He begs, he pleads with Aziraphale to go away not in the literal sense, but the emotional/metaphysical: to finally break this toxic dependence on Heaven and tell them once and for all where to stick it. And because he is desperate to make Aziraphale understand, he finally throws all caution to the winds and recklessly, desperately, adoringly kisses him, the one thing he's wanted to do for ages and...

Gets. Shot. Down.

Ugghhhhh. I'm suffering all over again. Aziraphale wants him, hungers for it, for them, and yet he's been so abused and so conditioned by Heaven (he's still blithely repeating to Crowley's face that "Hell are the bad guys!") that he just cannot accept that kind of desperate, blind, limitless, lawless affection. He even forgives Crowley for this "transgression," just to really twist the knife, and Crowley just can't take it, can't face up to how terribly this has all gone up in flames, after he went to heaven trying to find the answer for Gabriel's situation. Gabriel, who he fucking hates. Gabriel, who tried to kill the angelic being he loves (and for which Crowley has transparently never forgiven him). And yet at one pouty puppy-eyed look from Aziraphale and a warning that whoever is harboring Gabriel might be in danger, Crowley leaps headlong into the Bentley again and rushes to the rescue while "Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy" is blaring. He stoutly protects Gabriel; he does a miracle to disguise him; he lets him have hot chocolate and stay in the bookshop; he guards him from the literal demonic horde outside. All because of Aziraphale. That's it. And then, it still doesn't work. Not only that, Gabriel's absence and decision to forego Armageddon gives Heaven the one tool they finally need to take Aziraphale away from him.

I repeat: Ugghhhhhhhh.

(In a good way. Ngl, I love this angst. This is the kind of angst my brain Thrives on, the Thematic Parallel Romantic Character Arc kind. Nom nom nom. But also: AGONY.)

I also need to talk about Aziraphale driving the Bentley, aside from the obvious metaphor of him being in Crowley's home while Crowley is in his. Last season, we had the "you go too fast for me, Crowley" scene with them sitting in said Bentley, which was Aziraphale saying he's not ready for a relationship. In this season, as noted above, we see Aziraphale increasingly embracing the potential fantasy of being with Crowley. But here's the catch: when he's in the Bentley this time, driving it, setting the pace, acclimating to the idea, he's driving his own idea of what the Bentley/his relationship with Crowley is. It's not the real thing. He plays classical music; he supplies himself sweets; he turns it yellow; he drives too slow. Crowley calls him in another old-married-couple snitfit to complain that Aziraphale's messed it up, but what Aziraphale has actually messed up (or will, by the end of the season) is far more consequential than just a car. He's changed the entire shape of their relationship to the one he thinks can make it work, and it just doesn't. It has to be them -- "we could have been... Us" -- or it's not even close to the truth. It's not worth their time.

I repeat: Ouch.

Speaking of the writers validating fan theories, I know we all picked up and screamed about on Crowley's idea of Peak Romance Guaranteed To Fall In Love being sheltering from rain and gazing into each other's eyes, which confirms that that poor bastard was indeed ass-over-teakettle gone as soon as he met Aziraphale (again) in Eden. I also need to talk about the 1941 redux, because wow. This time, the danger comes from Hell, which we see being its usual self: gleefully, pointlessly cruel, pettily backbiting, dirty, sniping, tedious, endless, determined to mindlessly destroy because They're The Bad Guys and they like it. So they blackmail, spy on, miracle-block, illicitly photograph, and try to prove that Aziraphale and Crowley are secretly a couple, right after Aziraphale himself has just had the Light From Heaven realization that he's in love (which we all also picked up on in s1). They're forcibly outing them (to speak of more Religious Queer Trauma) in order to break them up/get them into trouble with their authorities/families. Aziraphale and Crowley manage to escape it mostly by dumb luck, but Crowley having an altogether freakout, hands shaking, barely able to actually point the gun at Aziraphale even in the knowledge that it's supposed to be fake, is just... wow. He can't even fathom the idea of ever trying to destroy him in earnest, especially when he knows on some level that Aziraphale also finally just realized his own feelings. So I just need to --

/screams

Anyway, Aziraphale's entire arc this season is doing what he thinks is the right thing and then inadvertently causing harm and damage as a result. In the Edinburgh flashbacks (live slug reaction of me: SEAN BIGGERSTAFF???!!) he tries to stop Elspeth from stealing bodies and gets Morag killed and Crowley drinking the laudanum to save him (though that part with David Tennant just riffing left and right, using his natural Scottish accent, and being Tiny Crowley/Huge Crowley was hilarious). He invites his neighbors to a Pride and Prejudice ball and makes them all the target for demonic attack. And of course the Job episode: Aziraphale, horrified at Heaven's callous cruelty, desperate not to get Job's children killed, willing to go along with Crowley's tricks to save them somehow, tempted by Crowley to do the fucknasty with their angel bits eat some food and decide that he likes it. As mentioned, the whole thing about God being silent this season is a major thematic choice. The only time we see/hear God is Her communing with Job from afar. Aziraphale enviously imagines the answers he must be getting (he's not, he's baffled and perplexed), while Crowley longs beyond words to even have the opportunity to ask the question: why? Why do this? Why is this your plan?

And of course, this absence culminates in the Metatron, the Voice of God, the person arrogantly claiming that they're speaking for God and know exactly what Heaven wants, being able to seize Aziraphale by the short hairs and absolutely fuck him over. Gabriel is gone/decommissioned/eloping with Beelzebub, so Heaven needs a Supreme Leader (God apparently is no longer a factor in the equation). And what this Supreme Leader needs to do is finally unleash the Apocalypse that Gabriel decided to pass on (the Second Coming). Aziraphale needs to be punished, taken away from Crowley's influence/love, and put back under Heaven's explicit control, so Metatron spots a great opportunity to do all three at once. It's not an accident that the exact tool he uses to get Aziraphale to agree is "now you can actually be with Crowley!" Aziraphale and Crowley have been trying so hard to hide out from their respective Head Offices, but now all at once, there's this seemingly miraculous opportunity for them not to have to do that anymore! They can be together! They can be sanctioned by Heaven! They can give up all this hiding and sneaking around and lying! Isn't that better?

... As long as, of course, they give up absolutely everything that makes them who they are. No big deal. Minor catch. Probably nothing.

Metatron doesn't let Aziraphale have time to escape, or think it over, or reflect, or anything. He pressures Aziraphale to come with him immediately, or be once more subject to Heaven's implicit wrath/destruction/judgment. Believe me, Aziraphale already KNOWS he's made a huge mistake, as soon as he hears what Metatron really wants: bringing him back to unleash the Apocalypse that Aziraphale and Crowley have given up literally everything to prevent. He doesn't need time to reflect. By the time my man is in that elevator, he's well aware of what a catastrophic misjudgment he's made, and yet --

Aziraphale needs this. He has, as noted, literally always relied on Crowley outsmarting Heaven's cruel orders in order to prevent himself from having to do them. He's relied on Crowley rescuing him ("rescuing me makes him so happy," WELL BUB, IT'S BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS NEED IT). He admits to Crowley's face that "I need you!" He hates Heaven's sadistic meanness, but he has absolutely no framework, in and of himself, to defy it. When the rubber hits the road, he will crumple and try to go along with it, and now he's been put in a position where he's going to have to stand up, defy Heaven, and make the break once and for all BY HIMSELF. He doesn't have Crowley around to do it for him, he has no support, he is going to arrive in Heaven and be shuttled straight off to the Apocalypse 2.0 War Room. The only way he gets out of this is if he actively stands up, if he chooses himself and Crowley and their life, and he has to.

The thing is:

Aziraphale has lived his entire eternal existence Looking Up. Up is the direction of Goodness and Heaven. Up is where Angels go. Up is where Aziraphale comes from and where Demons and Hell are not. But now he's going Up, in a position to take over the whole shebang, and it's the last thing he wants.

So he's going to have to come back Down.

He's going to have to Fall. He's going to have to get back Below at all costs. He's going to have to finally, once and for all, understand what led Crowley to make the choice to leave Heaven and never come back. It's only then that they can possibly be together on any kind of conscious, equal, deliberate footing, claim their own agency, reject Heaven AND Hell, and try to really earn that South Downs cottage and that happy-ever-after, and it's gonna hurt so good.

Now if you will excuse me, /screams

[locusfandomtime]

see the fandom has this thing where the hermits are different species and when they’re part animal/mob they’re a hybrid but nobody talks about the even funnier canon lore that they’re all the exact same species. Their species is hermit.

[long post - lots of worldbuilding and speculative biology below]

Jevin looks like a slime, Doc looks like that, most of them look human, but in actuality they’re all just hermits. The only information we have about this is that hermits are shorter than the average player, some references to hobbits, some references to hermits being hardworking, the fact that gem isn’t a hermit and had to wear antlers to pretend to be one, and that’s it.

I love biology and worldbuilding and this is fascinating to me. When you take into account previous seasons and events and throw-away lines this gets even more insane. Grian and Hypno are acknowledged to not have mouths (and even more hermits don’t have them on their skin). Mumbo turned into a potato. Cleo had snake hair at one point. There are a million other weird things I’m forgetting. You could handwave some of this with an explanation like “hermits are shapeshifters” or “hermits are gods” and that is a very valid and fun take but I think it is SO much funnier if these are just normal things that happen in the hermit species, which aren’t fantastical at all and are adaptations with elaborate mechanics and explanations.

Perhaps hermits, similar to bugs, regularly shed their skin (or a process similar to it) and change their appearance. Some insects change colours/appearance due to their environment rather than genetics, ie macleays spectre stick insects can turn lichen colours when raised around lichen. Maybe the hermits shed their skins on a regular basis, including during their adult life, and this allows them to better match their environment- causing physical changes related to what they have been exposed to. This causes potato Mumbo and medusa Cleo and DM Tango and any other example of a specific skin change. For more constant differences in appearance - maybe life cycles could be considered?

this may be the weirdest thing I’ve ever made. For those that don’t know, “n” is the number of chromosomes, where n is the haploid number, so 2n is diploid. Diploid cells are necessary for sexual reproduction. Of course, a lot of these life cycles are centered around reproduction, as is the nature of a life cycle, but in reality the hermits are in no rush and are happy to stay at whatever point of the life cycle they’re at, this is just an outline of the species’ mechanics.

I mean, most of this diagram is conjecture… but I think it is interesting to consider! Jevin especially reminded me a lot of slime mould life cycles so this is heavily inspired off that, but also inspired by bug life cycles as well.

If you want to get even more indepth we can consider the gender roles of hermit society (remember that clip where Grian implied builders were housewives and redstoners were breadwinning husbands?). Perhaps we can get meta and consider respawn an aspect of being a hermit as well - are they able to regenerate after death? What is Cleo’s place in all this, being undead? Is arm thickness, where your arm can either be 3px or 4px wide, an example of sexual dimorphism?

but. well. tldr: the hermits being one species is a very fun idea we should be doing more with, i think

[finisnihil]

Some people need to learn the difference between like/disliking a character on a personal level v. a writing level. I dislike some characters on a personal level but I do love their writing and characterization on a meta level and any of my bullying of them is mostly for jokes. Meanwhile there's also characters who I adore on a personal level but abhor the writing of because it feels like their concepts or potential as a character were squandered.

I've said it before i'll say it again when you let your personal bias on a character infect your analysis of them you get mischaracterization. Part of media literacy is seperating authoral intention from reader response and thinking about if anything about the character or their interactions can cloud your judgement of them on a surface level.

For example, in the 2.1 quest of HSR I saw some Aventurine lovers absolutely jump on a hate train for Sunday because in their eyes, Sunday was villainous for his actions against Aventurine and deserved to be put down for it. But, when you stop bastardizing Sunday in an effort to validate and sanitize Aventurine's motives you see the two are actually equally complicit in hurting the other. Sunday did try to turn Ratio against Aventurine and he did cast the whole Truth or Die spell but when you actually critically analyze Sunday and his role in the interaction he is more sympathetic and he makes more sense.

Aventurine was going into the interaction, an interaction regarding the IPC's increasingly aggressive attempts to recolonize Penacony after losing it as a prison planet, bragging about using the horrific murder of Sunday's sister to exploit him. Aventurine has never once hid his intentions, he's sympathetic but that doesn't change the fact he's trying to rip Penacony's freedom away for the IPC. We've seen what the IPC does to planets, no matter how corrupt the Family is, the IPC will be worse without a doubt. Aventurine is a morally grey character, he took the gamble of lying under the spell and he understood the stakes when he did it. Trying to bastardize Sunday in order to try and act like Aventurine didn’t have the autonomy to fuck around and find out is really disingenuous to both characters.

As for Sunday, Sunday is incredibly sympathetic too. We know he’s under crushing pressure by everyone around him to hide things for the sake of public image and we know he’s sacrificed a ton for his sister. Sunday is reverential of Xipe but we see him being actively wary of the Family. He knows there’s a traitor, he knows the Family is rotting with ill intent, he knows Death is on the loose. Robin and him are doing their damndest to handle these problems within their circumstances and we’ve seen their notes! They aren’t ignoring the problem, they’re even trying to get outside help from both the Astral Express and Aventurine. We see the Lightcone of their childhood in an otherwise clinical and impersonal office, one where he built her a toy stage and became her first audience. He cares about Robin more than anything and you see his rage and grief being suppressed yet slipping here and there and causing him to make sloppy mistakes, such as using the Truth or Die spell to lash out at Aventurine when he feels cornered with no control over the situation. When he confronts Gallagher he finally cracks and just… breaks. You see him lose it to the point he doesn’t even notice Death behind him until it’s too late. Despite being likened to songbirds, Robin and Sunday both died quietly in their gilded cages. They are the canaries in the coal mine.

Sunday and Aventurine are meant to parallel each other, they both lost their sister in a gruesome event outside of their control because they couldn’t protect her. Sunday couldn’t protect her from the cage he let himself be trapped in so she could fly free and Aventurine couldn’t protect her because he was too small and too young and too lucky. One is a younger brother and one is an elder brother.

The only major difference between them is who we experience the story through. Aventurine is our eyes for most of 2.1 so therefore Sunday is the one put in the antagonistic role. Antagonists are characters who’s motives and goals oppose the protagonists. Because of this, we have to flesh out Sunday’s character via subtext because we don’t have the luxury of his POV to be blatant like with Aventurine. If the roles reversed, if Sunday was our eyes, I bet Aventurine would be the one getting the flack instead.

[v-a-l]

Hi! I was just thinking about what made Hermione come to the conclusion that Sirius wants to live through them. Now I last read OOTP a month ago, but I can't remember anything from the conversation that suggests that he wants to live through them, he only said that they should know how to defend themselves because of the environment that will come and that is why the DA is a good idea. And even if Hermione was influenced by Molly during the summer what makes her think that the DA is a bad idea after Sirius says it's a good idea? He gave valid reasons why it is a good idea. Hermione is very smart but this scene just felt and she felt ooc here.

I know that sometimes JKR used characters like Hermione and Dumbledore as spokespersons about what she wanted the audience to know that's why we get Hermione saying that but if that's what she wanted us to think, she did a poor job because Sirius actually kind of right and it makes Hermione look biased against Sirius.

Same with Dumbledore in that conversation with Harry after Sirius's death and it sucks. She wanted us to think Sirius saw Kreacher as inferior because of his species but that's not true at all. Now, some scenes with Sirius and Kreacher made me uncomfortable and I am not going to lie about it. But Sirius hated Kreacher because he was a part of his abusive childhood and repeated the same bigoted stuff his family thought and let's not forget Sirius only got violent with him when he called Hermione a slur. So Dumbledore saying that just feels so ooc because usually he is so wise (but once i read a meta about him seeing Sirius as Grindelwald and thinking by that meta it gives us an interesting perspective about this conversation as well).

Sorry this is getting long 😅. Anyways my point is that none of it makes any sense. It is clear that JKR was biased against Sirius and to show that she brought two other characters down (though these moments can be seen as interesting flaws in them)

Have a lovely day! (Sorry about the long ask, I hope it makes sense)

Honestly, while JKR is a brilliant writer, I also find her fairly reactionary in her writing style. Sirius was one of the most popular characters in the story because she wrote him that way, he inadvertently became more popular than a lot of other characters she preferred because again, she WROTE him that way. Perhaps the creation of a character as multi-faceted and dynamic as Sirius is was entirely by accident, as she really seems to double down on the character assassination as the books go by, but regardless, there's little in the way of canonical proof to suggest that Sirius is trying to live a vicarious life through the kids. Especially cause he's the one who seems to understand what they actually need after all they've been through instead of just patronising them.

Sirius is the only one who takes Harry seriously, he is the only one who tries to not just physically be there like the others, but actually also provide emotional support. He's constantly been doing this since he escaped Azkaban, and at this point, both in the case of Harry generally, and the Weasleys specifically when Arthur was injured, he's repeatedly looking after others at his own personal cost. He gets Ron an Owl, almost tells Harry how to beat a dragon (and that's the kind of stuff Sirius Black simply just goes around knowing, how to take down Dragons), gets Harry his firebolt and Hogsmeade slip. Sirius is generally an emotionally intelligent person, and this is after 12 years of forced isolation from civilisation.

The tragedy of Sirius' arc in OOTP is that there's no one around him who can relate to his experiences. This makes it impossible for Sirius to find the kind of empathy and support he needs from the members of the order. By OOTP, Sirius' mental health, whilst constantly deteriorating is also displayed on technicolour before the entire cast. He's not allowed any secrets, his abusive childhood, his unprocessed grief, years of dementor and solitary confinement related trauma, the fact that he lost his entire twenties, his burgeoning alcoholism is all on display and not spared judgement from the self-righteous members of the Order who did not support him at 21 and are not going to support him at 33.

Furthermore, the narrative repeatedly validates him. He insists that Harry should be told the truth, and he's right, he insists that he can do more instead of just being locked up and left alone and he's right, he wants Snape to restart Harry's lessons and he's right, he repeatedly and actively disagrees with Dumbledore's opaque methods and again, he's right. He gives Harry the two way mirror because Harry needs him to be there, and as Godfather, it is Sirius' responsibility to find a safe way to ensure that happens.

Whilst he's not at his best, he's still trying, he's trying so hard to be what everyone needs him to be even when its contrary to his own instincts and emotional needs which are either dismissed entirely by the people around him or mocked with derogatory catchphrases like "fit of the sullens" that its genuinely heartbreaking that despite him going out of his way to help the Order, not only is his devotion not returned it's barely even acknowledged. They never try to acquit him, there's no mission run by the Order to try and recapture Peter or get Sirius a trial or even an opportunity to give a press conference (which, with the political climate in OOTP would actually be a great way to discredit the ministry), Dumbledore pretty much just locked him in and threw away the key, a circumstance not entirely different from the past 12 years of Sirius' unfortunately short life. An acquitted Sirius would mean a discredited justice system and ministry and also a powerful wizard to run missions again, but this prospect is not even brought up let alone addressed. He gets a posthumous consolation through a footnote in the Daily Prophet, like that could compensate for the trauma and the decade he's lost.

I think it's very binary to put people into boxes and go "this person is only these set of traits and that's all they can be." Sirius is more than his grief for the Potters and love for Harry and years of isolation and torture. He's a brilliant detective, one of the order's most powerful duelists, someone who is blatantly not afraid of calling people out, be it Walburga or Crouch or Dumbledore, someone who despite growing up in a cesspit of bigotry and violence fights for people like Lily Potter and Remus Lupin and Hermione Granger. The guy who barely tolerates Kreacher but is distasteful of Crouch's treatment of Winky. Sirius, like most people, comes with facets and is possibly one of JKR's finest creations. Not that she seemed to realise it herself.

Not that that's surprising.

The most interesting thing about Sirius and Dumbledore, and Dumbledore's repeated refusal to trust Sirius is that unlike pretty much everyone else in the order, Sirius knows that Dumbledore and Grindewald used to be friends. Lily wrote it to him and Sirius read it. If Sirius could figure out the GoF plot while being half starved to death and living in a cave, a free healthy Sirius with a very much alive James Potter would probably have put the whole plot together. I wonder how much that influenced their dynamic in OOTP because whilst the others have nothing on Dumbledore, Sirius does. If Sirius can spare Dumbledore his judgement despite knowing the truth, Dumbledore can get over Sirius being a Black.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Top 10 Things I Love About the QL Tumblr Community 2023

I'm loving everyone's end of year lists, and decided to make up one of my own.

I haven't been on Tumblr for very long and was originally just lurking. 2023 marks the year where I finally started posting, after I read a take that made me feel compelled to come to a fictional character's defense. (Saengtai, my poor little blorbo).

So in commemoration of my first proper year of active tumblring, I present what I love about this community (in no particular order).

(Side note - Technically I know this is still primarily a BL community, but I like to say QL because I am trying to manifest more lesbians for us.)

1) The Gifmakers

Y'all are a good 70% of the reason I joined Tumblr in the first place. There are so many show moments that I want to relive, but without having to search through videos. Sometimes I want to appreciate the aesthetics. Sometimes I want to remember adorable or goofy moments. Sometimes I just want to see cute boys eating each other's faces. Our gifmakers give all of that to us, with the addition of so much creativity and style.

There's too many amazing ones to mention everyone, but I have to shout out @sparklyeyedhimbo, because the way your brain works makes me so happy.

2) The expertise

The other part of why I joined Tumblr was to learn more about what BLs were out there and what I might be missing. And holy hell. Y'all are putting in the work. Not only lists and resources for finding all kinds of QLs, like these fabulous monthly breakdowns by @gunsatthaphan, but also amazing posts that add additional context, like @absolutebl's incredibly helpful breakdown of Asian honorifics. There is so much research people do, for fun! And then they share it!

3) The meta analysis

I frickin love reading people's takes and analyses on series. I love learning, I love seeing perspectives from people with different cultural backgrounds to my own, it's all so fascinating! There's so much context we can miss due to our own privileges, or lack of knowing about various cultures, or due to whatever bubbles we've been living in. People here are just so smart, and nuanced, and willing to reflect and think about things, and also push back at each other, but generally with respect (except when you call out the dumb shit you see, usually on Twitter or TikTok, where people are being reductive and dumb about gender and sexuality).

And I've seen a few takes where people complain about analyses, and say that the director/production doesn't do everything deliberately, and we're all reading too much into it. To which I say, eh, lighten up. How people connect to and relate to media has relevance beyond what was intended. The point is we get to think and discuss and learn and grow. That doesn't happen if we don't analyze.

Special shout out here to @respectthepetty because colors mean things!

4) The wild theories

The other side of the analysis coin, the clown cars y'all drive around in with the wildest of theories. I have happily climbed into an occasional clown car, and usually I am utterly wrong (*cough* Saifah *cough*). But it's a super fun ride. I love seeing how people's brains work. I love it when y'all are wrong. I love it when y'all are right. It's beautiful.

5) Immediate acceptance

I am one of those people who knows that I have a lot of good qualities, and also, always kind of expect rejection. Blame the childhood bullies, I guess. Anyway, whenever I delve into a new space, I still feel like a total dork that no one will want to talk to. It's kind of a fraught way to move through the world, but I manage.

Anyway, I started posting my thoughts as they came up, and people are just totally cool with it. People even follow me sometimes. Even my silliest thoughts and dumbest jokes get at least a couple likes. It's so validating.

And my very silly joke about gay mafia in Kiseki has over 800 likes. I feel very seen.

6) Mutuals

I still kind of can't believe I have any. This ties in to the dork feeling above, but seriously - they are soooo cooooool. They're smart and awesome and funny, and they somehow find me worth following back, which is baffling yet wonderful. I want to squish their faces and give them many kisses (if they're into that kind of thing).

7) The self-exploration

I really appreciate how it's become more talked about how a lot of people are discovering queerness through BL, because that is so the case for me. I think it's both that I was in a bit of a hetero bubble before, and also that I'm evolving a bit as I age. I had figured out I was demi, and maybe a little bit gay, before getting in to BL, but being in this community, and seeing so many of you share so openly and freely, has made me realize it might be more than a little bit.

Either it was a new realization, or being around y'all has made me more gay. Win win, either way.

8) The weirdness

I'm weird. Y'all are weird. I love it.

9) The thirst

So many in this community are thirsty as fuck, and as someone who is in that same condition, I love that it's not just me. There are not many places where I can freely admit how horny I am as a part of my general existence.

Here? I could post about wanting to lick some random BL actor's face, and it would get a bunch of likes and some tags like #lickable, and it's just not remotely a big deal.

Also the gifmakers understand this, and give us beautiful cuts of our spicy scenes. They are genuinely too good for us.

10) The communal watching experience

There is absolutely nothing like watching along with people in the community. It is so worth the torture of having to wait week to week for new episodes. Seeing the show trend, watching the theories fly fast and furious, or the way everyone collectively loses their minds over particular moments. In a world that can feel very isolating, it's a very warm experience.

So there you go. Thank you all for being you. Here's to another year of QL shenanigans and losing our collective minds!