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ohtobeleah · 1 month ago

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Day Eighteen [I Love You, Always]

Summary: When an unknown man comes into the cafe looking for who he calls “The Mutant” Logan’s world is once again turned upside down when you make the ultimate sacrifice.

Warnings: Logan Howlett x F!reader. Main character Death. Logan Whump. Mind Control. Possession.

Word Count: 5.1k

Whumptober Prompt Day Eighteen: Mind control, possession, “Everybody will end up despising you.”

Author Note: Please make sure you read the warnings provided. Disclaimer: I do not condone nor endorse the actions that are written about during the month of October. These works of fiction are just that, fiction and should be treated as such. Thank you to @ailesswhumptober for this year's prompt list.

Whumptober Masterlist | Main Masterlist | ILYA Series

In the 1800’s, one of the most common reasons a woman visited the doctor was ‘Hysteria.’ A now-defunct diagnosis, hysteria was used to describe a wide array of symptoms: chest pain, anxiety, a swollen abdomen, and mood swings. They tried a variety of treatments for hysteria ranging from rest to psychosomatic therapy.

But true relief for these women didn’t exist until physicians tried using what they called pelvic massage. The cure was called ‘Hysterical Paroxysm’ which today has come to be known as an orgasm.

Modern medicine continues to recognise the stress-reducing benefits of the female orgasm. But doctors no longer perform the cure.

When done properly and consensually, sex can be medicine. We know it reduces stress and strengthens the immune system. It even rejuvenates your brain activity. But sex without connection can leave you feeling empty. Friendship, laughter, simple human touch, are stress relievers too.

Because truly, it’s about connection. When you’re physically close to another person the nervous system responds, the body is flooded with feel-good hormones, and everything else just fades away.

“I specifically remember there being a no mutant policy behind the counter, Logan,” You cooed as Logan came barrelling right around the front counter of the cafe.

“You never put that in writing,” Logan growled as he immediately made a direct line to the little girl sitting on the floor babbling away to herself. “You can’t discriminate against senior citizens either.” He teased with a wink, knowing that the old man jokes hit you where it hurt. There was no secret there was a two-hundred-plus-year age gap between the two of you.

“Ha ha,” You sighed as you went about your closing duties, having a look back at the days taking on the square machine. “For a senior citizen, you sure are looking good,” Logan raised an eyebrow as he momentarily turned his head over his shoulder to catch your gaze. Only to turn soon thereafter, his attention back to the little girl who had captivated his entire heart without ever so much as speaking a single word of grace.

“Your mother is a serious flirt ya little Runt,” Logan teased as he picked your seven-month-old up off the floor. “She might have to clear her schedule later if she keeps it up, won’t she?” Logan cooed, knowing full well that the smile that crept itself across the little girl’s face had nothing to do with what he was saying, but rather from his presence. “Back in my day, they would have prescribed a pelvic message for your mother’s current condition,” Logan teased as he bounced Ilya on his hip playfully. “I'm no doctor, Runt, but I might have to perform one tonight.” Her slightly chunky self was ever so delighted to be in the safe embrace of the man she knew to be her guiding light in life. “How are my girls doing today?”

That very question was one laced with love and admiration. Logan Howlett had lived a long, tortuous life. But in this new universe? He swore black and blue he’d found his forever home with two people he couldn’t live without.

When you first met Logan Howlett, your first impression was that the brooding man in the booth off to the side, was going to be one of those customers who were more trouble than they were worth. He never wavered for the first few months. It was always the same interaction. Before you knew his name, you just knew him by his coffee order: One large black coffee, no sugar, no syrup, just bitter black coffee that could rival tar.

“I see you’ve had the pleasure of meeting this ray of pure sunshine,” Wade was the connection, he’d come into the cafe one morning trailing behind the brooding man you’d come to know as a regular. The man with beautiful eyes full of torture and despair. The man with the aged appearance, the auburn locks, the dated clothes that smelt of burning embers and bourbon. A tortured poet if there ever was one.

“Y/n, this is Logan–” It was nice to finally have a name to go with the face. “Sorry, he probably hasn’t introduced himself yet, he has a disorder,”

“Would you shut the fuck up?” Logan growled under his breath as he fished his wallet out from the back pocket of his jeans. His eyes immediately softened when he met your gaze, drinking in the sight of you as you waited for the two of them to order. “I was going to, I just–I’m not,” You could tell that Logan was struggling to get the words out, you could see his mind racing around trying to find the right ones to say.

“One black coffee, right?” You smiled softly, saving the enigma of a man from his latest version of hell. “What can I get for you, Wade?”

“Surprise me. I’m feeling kinky so make it extra sweet,” Wade replied with a chipper smile. Wade’s antics never shocked you anymore. He’d become a regular over the years he found himself on Gore Street long before Logan had first stepped through your doors. Your humble little coffee shop sat nestled in the middle of the somewhat low-income neighbourhood. Coffee on Gore was seen as a wayward haven for the underprivileged in life. But no matter who walked through your front doors, they treated you with respect. You gave them a safe place to just breathe. A priceless commodity.

“Coming right up,” You replied as you went about making Logans regular order and something sweet for Wade. It was only when you came out to their table that Logan spotted the name you had written on his takeaway cup. Before you’d never had a name to write on it, but now you did.

Logan - The Brood

The friendship only grew from there. Often you found yourself sitting across from the older man in silence. He’d speak infrequently, but always had the time to listen to you talk about your day, your achievements, your problems. Soon enough? Logan found himself in your little coffee shop every day. The coffee shop soon turned to your bedroom, your car, your kitchen, living room and bathroom.

It wasn’t until your daughter turned six months old that he smelled the mutant blood that coursed through her veins. Little Ilya was a Howlett, but Logan never asked you about it. It didn’t matter when he’d been treating her like his own since he held your hand during her birth. He knew why you’d keep that card close to your chest. He’d been around the block a few times to understand that he wasn’t your average guy.

“I’m the worst version of myself,” Logan could remember saying one night as you sat straddling his waist. “But I’m not a violent dog,” He swore in that moment he could see your silhouette draped in the belt of Orion. “I don’t know why I bite,”

“How can you be the worst version of yourself? I only know this version,” You cooed as you carded your fingers through Logan’s hair, revelling in the deep hum that came from his chest at your touch. “You aren’t so bad,” You whispered softly. “Besides, I usually bet on losing dogs anyway.”

“You better not tell me you love me right now, Darlin,” Logan replied, knowing that if you did, he’d say it back without hesitation. “I can’t have you being obsessed with me.” You could read between the lines with Logan, for you he was an open book on a public library shelf. He loved you, you loved him. Things were just……complicated, to say the very least.

“Love you?” You teased as you leaned in to cup Logan’s scruff-covered cheeks. Cheeks that adorned a soft crimson. Caressing the pads of your thumbs over the harsh hairs. “Honey, I dunno if you’re that lucky,”

“We’re good,” You smiled as a heat spread across your cheeks at the very thought of being one of Logan’s girls. “She’s been a little fussing today, but now you’re here I’m sure she’ll settle.”

“Oh, is that so? We’ve been a fussy little monster huh?” Logan sat the little tot he knew deep down was his daughter on his hip as he came to stand behind you. He worked to sneak a gentle hand around your waist, drawing you back into him. Encapsulating you entirely. The aroma of your perfume captivated him wholeheartedly. A scent he’d never forget even if he tried. “It’s a good thing I’m here then, huh Darlin?”

“You really are full of yourself, aren’t you?” You couldn’t help but chuckle and shake your head in soft defeat as Logan kissed your cheek tenderly. Only for you to crave more of his affection and chase after his lips over your shoulder. For a moment, time stood still as your tongue danced with Logan’s, your daughter gently clawed at Logan’s cheek as she tried to gain his undivided attention back on her. With his eyes and your nose, the perfect combination of the two of you, how could she be anything else?

“Ilya,” Logan cooed as the little girl he held tenderly slapped at his cheek, enough to coax a chuckle from deep within his old soul. “Okay, okay, sorry Darlin, this little one is in serious need of daddy-daughter time.” The second Logan pulled away, time began to move again. His touch brought you comfort, love, and desire. So much so that every night as you put your little girl to bed, you thought about what a life with Logan would be like. A life without the bureaucratic tape the two of you saw yourselves tangled in. A life without confusing titles, or uncertainty surrounding what you truly meant to one another.

For now, though, friends with incredible benefits boarding on boyfriend and girlfriend status would just have to do.

“Daughter and strange old man who keeps coming into her mum’s cafe, time.” You corrected Logan playfully, knowing full well he was her father. There was no one else who had your heart like Logan Howlett did.

“Not the only place I keep cumming,” Logan was quick on the draw to fire right back as he raised his eyebrows and faked a shocked expression. “Who said that?” He grinned ear to ear as Ilya chuckled and held onto Logan’s flannel sleeve.

“You’ve been hanging around Wade way too much for your own good,” If you had rolled your eyes any harder, you probably would have fallen over as you shook your head and returned to recording today’s takings.

“He’s kinda the only friend I’ve got beside you. I don’t really have any choice in the matter,” It was the way Logan referred to Wade as a friend that made your heart swell inside your chest. To even say that word, to refer to someone as a friend, that was a lot. The man you loved unconditionally and unapologetically had come a long way in the time you’d been blessed to know him.

“Who ever said I was your friend?” You sent Logan a shocked expression as he placed a hand over his heart. “Oh, who said that?” You followed up with a chuckle, looking around the empty cafe, twenty minutes until close.

Logan let you win that one, he knew you had things to do for the next half an hour. He threw your daughter up into the air playfully and took a few strides back towards you.

“I’ll leave you to work shall I?” The small little nod you gave him in response with the tight-lipped grin of agreeance was all Logan needed. “I’ve got the Runt,” He reminded you innocently as he pecked at your cheek before rounding the corner of the front counter, Ilya in his arms. “I’ll take you for a walk,”

Your little family may have been unconventional, but they were all you needed in life. The ring in Logan’s jeans weighed him down, so much so that if he were to go swimming, he’d sink to the very bottom. He was ready to take the leap. He wanted you forever. He wanted you and only you for the rest of his days here on earth. Labels didn’t matter to Logan, but he wanted the world, and the next, to know that you were his and he was yours.

In hindsight, being dragged to this universe was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He had a daughter now, a tiny human that relied on him. He had a beautiful woman who loved him, although unconventional, Logan knew wholeheartedly that the love that ran through his veins was reciprocated in every breath you took.

**************************

“Oh, I’m so sorry, but we’re closed,” There is a portion of the cerebral cortex of our brains, folded deep within an area between the temporal and frontal lobes. It’s called the insula, and it’s where desire starts. “We open at five-thirty in the morning though, if you want to come back another time?” You politely told the man who had come through the front door only a few seconds before you could make sure to lock it. He didn’t look a day past forty-five, but the smell of rotting flesh made you gag. When was the last time this guy had a shower or used any sort of soap?

“I’m not here for coffee, sweetheart,” We’d like to imagine that we’re in control, but more often than not, the chemicals in our brains control us. “I’m here for The Mutant,”

The very mention of the word mutant had you on edge immediately. Not many people when around referring to people they knew like that here. It had the tiny little hairs on the back of your neck standing to attention.

“The who?” The insula lights up, and we’re compelled to change our lives. Compelled by longing. Compelled by yearning. Compelled by a desire for more. “I don’t know anyone by the name of that.” It was the first thing that came to your mind, to deny deny deny.

“You sure?” His wickedly evil smile told you all you needed to know. “We can do this the easy way, or the hard way, my dear,” The man grinned as he walked further into your cafe. “I know she’s been here recently, her scent is still lingering.”

With the use of the pronoun ‘her’, your blood ran cold. No. She couldn’t be. Why had that thought never crossed your mind before? Your baby girl, half human, half mutant. You should have expected her to be just like her father. She was only a baby, just a little girl. She hadn’t shown any signs of being anything less than ordinary. But a switch inside you had flipped as your brain processed the new narrative you had just been exposed to. As you stood behind the counter, your eyes darkened with the very desire to protect your little girl at all costs.

“If you were here for her father, there’s a small part of me that would have allowed you to try him,” You warned. “But you’ll have to go through not only me, but him, to get to her.”

“So I guess we’re doing this the hard way then?” The man sighed as he looked up to the roof above. For a moment he stood still and closed his eyes, the silence that surrounded the two of you in your empty cafe was deafening. “I’d like a cup of coffee.”

Before you knew what you were doing, you were going about making the man who had threatened to take your daughter a coffee. It felt like someone was inside your mind, dancing with your own desire.

“You’re a telepath–” You asked as you went about making the man his coffee, an order you somehow already knew but had never made before.

“You’re a perspective one, aren’t you, dear?” The man chuckled as he slid into the bar stool at the front counter. “Your daughter processes a unique genetic code, one that could see the beginning of a new generation of mutant children,” He explained as if it wasn’t a big deal. A life-changing exchange. “I need her for my collection of children, some would liken me to the Charles Xavier of the new generation,”

“Over my dead body,” You hissed as you poured the fresh batch of coffee directly from the pot into the clean mug sitting in front of the man.

“More–” He growled as he watched the coffee lap at the sides of the mug. No matter what, you couldn’t stop pouring no matter how hard you told yourself to stop. “More, dear,” He added, watching as you struggled to fight against your own actions. “Burn yourself, go on.” He snarled as you moved your hand under the steaming stream of fresh hot coffee.

“Ahhhh!!” You screamed out in pain as the boiling liquid scolded the palm of your hand. But you couldn’t stop yourself, no matter how hard you tried.

“Stop,” The man demanded. Immediately you stopped the coffee pot and raced over to the sink to cool your hand. Blisters appeared almost immediately. “You see, you can stand here all day and waste my time talking about how you’d never let me take what I came here to collect, but my dear I’m telling you right now, I’ll always get what I want.”

**************************

“Alright ya little Runt,’ Logan chuckled to himself as he held a bouquet in one hand and his daughter in the other. She could sit happily on her father’s hip all day. “You reckon your mother will like these?”

There wasn’t much of a response from the little girl who was just happy to be out and about with her biggest protector. But as Logan rounded the corner towards the cafe, he could smell fear radiating down the block.

Your fear…..

His stride got a little wider, his pace got a little quicker, and his heart rate jumped into the stratosphere with panic. Logan was on a mission to get back to you as quickly as he could. What could be happening back at the cafe to have you smelling with such fear, such panic, such fright?

“I think we need to drop you off at Uncle Wade and Grandma Al’s house,” Logan spoke out loud to himself as he raced up the small set of stairs that led up to the townhouse Wade resided in. The best thing about the cafe was that it was within walking distance from where Logan usually laid his head down to rest. “Come on, let’s get you somewhere safe so I can go help Mum.”

It wasn’t long before Logan was bursting through Wade’s front door, the small rundown apartment was enough for the three of them, but it wasn’t a place for a child. It would have to do for now until Logan knew what was wrong. He couldn’t risk taking Ilya back to the cafe, not with how much fear he could smell from down the block.

“Wade!?” Logan growled as he looked around, dropping the bouquet on the ground as he did so. “Wade, you blistered fuck, where are you!?”

“I’m banging your mother,” Wade called out as he rounded the corner, freshly showered with a towel hung long on his waist. “Hi honey, nice to see you too,” His demeanour immediately changed when he saw the worry on Logan’s face, the panic in his eyes. The fear in his old soul. “What’s going on? Why is the little crotch goblin in my house?”

“Somethings wrong at the cafe,” Logan explained as he handed over his little girl. “Stay here, no matter what,” He ordered. “Do you understand me, you walking nut-sack? Don’t leave this house, don’t let go of her for anything.”

“I’m all over it like a bad rash,” Wade said as he nodded in response and held his friend’s daughter in his arms. “Go, I got her.”

**************************

The human body is full of energy. Sprinting at full speed, it produces enough wattage to power anything in your house. So just imagine the wattage, the magnitude of power that surged through Logan’s body as he raced down the street towards your humble cafe. The scent of fear was prevalent in the air around him.

Your fear.

“I’m coming, Darlin, I’m coming.” The human cells are built to move charged ions through the cellular membrane. And the nervous system is a highway of electrical signals, zapping through your muscles and brain.

“Y/n!?” Logan shouted as he barged through the cafe door, eyes as dark as what he once thought his soul to be. Scanning around the somewhat trashed cafe, hoping, praying, to see you breathing. “Y/n! Darlin!? Where are you?” The silence was all Logan was met with as he took notice of the mess. You’d put up some sort of a fight at least.

Chairs were knocked down haphazardly. Cutlery lay strewn around the cafe from the tops of tables that had been moved around. It wasn’t how you’d ever have the cafe looking on its worst day, even after that one time Wade brought a street brawl inside.

“Logan,” Your voice was barely audible, but to Logan? He heard you loud and clear.

Across the cafe, you laid in a pile of broken glass. Beaten. Bloodied. Bruised. Logan could feel his heart racing as the pain of seeing you in such a way took over his primal desire to kill whoever hurt you.

“I’m here,” It was the first two words that Logan spoke as he crouched down to hold you in his arms. “I’m here, Darlin. Who–who did this to you? Who?” It was a charged question, who had done this to you? Your mind was fuzzy, like a grey cloud of fog had plagued your memory, your mind.

“I–I don’t remember,” You coughed. Logan saw the blood that came up as he held you tight in his lap. Embraced in his arms where no one could ever hurt you. “You,” You struggled to speak as you fought off unconscious. Logan knew you were in a bad state, he could see it in the way your eyelids fluttered, “You need to–to leave.”

“Why would you say that?” The human body runs on positive and negative charges, all obeying a basic law of physics… opposites attract. “I’m not going anywhere, you hear me?”

“Ah, The Wolverine,” There’s a lighting in everyone. Opposite charges find each other. They connect. They spark. And as long as they do, your life goes on. Your cells keep multiplying. Your brain keeps thinking. “What an honour.” Logan’s eyes left you only for a moment as he looked around the ruined cafe to see where the man’s voice had come from.

“Who the fuck are you?” When Logan finally caught the man in his line of sight, he knew he had to let you go to protect you.

“Me? I’m just a simple man who’s come to collect the next generation of your kind,” The man who’d turned your entire world upside down, explained to the love of your life as you struggled to stay conscious. “Y/n here, well, she’d a means to an inevitable end, unfortunately,”

“Listen to me you piece of shit,” Logan growled as he stood in front of where he’d laid your badly injured self down. “No one hurts the people I love and gets away with it, do I make myself fucking clear, Dumpster-diver?”

“Lo, don’t–” Your body wants to move, so it moves because it can. Life is electricity. Positive and negative. Creation and destruction. Destruction, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. “He, he wants Ilya.” You remembered as the cool tiles caressed your burning skin.

“Smart woman you’ve got yourself, Wolverine,” The man with the rotting flesh and the undesirable stench of a thousand rotting corpses smiled ear to ear. He took a few steps towards where Logan stood protecting you. “But the smarter you are, the more you know,” He sighed. “Happiness is an unfortunate trap, my dear friend,” He chuckled to himself. “It can’t last forever.

“Listen, bub, I’m not your friend,” Logan growled as the claws came out from between his knuckles. He was ready to fight for his family. The only family Logan had ever truly had. “You leave my family alone before you pay for your mistakes with your fucking life.”

“Logan, Logan, Logan,” The man repeated to himself as he entered the mind of the adamantium man, rendering him completely under his possession. “Let’s say you’ve met the love of your life here,” Logan struggled to remain in control of his mind and body, but as he struggled, the more he realised he’d lost any ability to control himself or his thoughts.

“Well, it’s gonna end, isn’t it? It’s inevitable… whether by the slow pull of a disease or the shock of loose footing on a hiking trail. Whether it be the corrosion of two personalities that reshape each other until they’re incompatible.”

“What are you doing to me?” Logan growled as he turned back to face you lying in a pool of your own blood. “No, let me go!” Logan shouted as he dropped to his knees before you, truly breaking at the seams of his clothes trying to take back his own body. Fighting an invisible, powerful force controlling every fibre of his being.

“The point is son, happiness always ends. The best-case scenario is that you die at the same time, but that would just be too easy, Logan.” Logan trembled as his mind was clouded with grey clouds until they were all he could see swirling in his line of sight.

“Kill her,” He heard a voice whisper inside his mind, through the clouded fog. “Kill the very woman you love,” The man commanded as he smelled the familiar scent of a child mutant growing stronger with every passing second. “Everybody will end up despising you.”

Wade had begun to grow more and more concerned for his friends as he paced around the living room holding little Ilya in his arms. With hesitation and a whole lot of worry, Wade had left the safety of his humble apartment and headed on foot down towards the cafe.

“Kill her,” The command was too strong for Logan to struggle against. He felt his claws dive deep into the torso of a body lying before him. Cluded with the grey fog, his mind told him he was in danger. “She's going to kill you. Kill her before she has the chance to kill you, Logan.”

“AHHHH!!!” Your blood-curdling screams of unimaginable pain cleared the fog in Logan's mind as he felt himself regaining control. By the time he’d woken from where he’d been locked inside his own mind, his adamantium claws had slashed through your stomach, still buried deep inside your guts as he came back from the very darkness of his own mind. “Lo–”

“Oh god,” Was all Logan managed to say as he retracted his claws and tried to stop your bleeding. “No, no no no no no,” The panic was all-consuming. The fear was unstoppable. “Y/n, Darlin, no fuck! I didn’t mean to,” Logan scooped you up into his arms as he tried to stop the blood from gushing from your wounds. Wounds he’d been forced to inflict on you, the love of his life. “NOO!”

“Ke-keep,” You gagged on your own blood as you looked up at Logan, the man you loved for all his perfect faults. “Ilya,” It was hard to remain conscious, everything self so cold. “Safe,”

“Don’t you leave me,” Logan cried as he shook and held you tight. Your blood was seeping into his jeans, his flannel, into his skin. “DON’T Y/N!”

The ring of the font doorbell took Logan’s attention away from you for five seconds, but he never let you go. He watched as the man who’d done this to you walked out, following a scent he was bloodthirsty for.

“She’s yours, Lo,” You whispered as Logan returned all his undivided attention to you. “Ilya–”

“I know,” Logan cried. He watched as his tears fell onto your blood-stained cheeks. “I’ve always known. I love you so much, Y/n, you can’t do this, you can’t leave me.”

“Ilya, Logan, my love,” You tried to explain as you reached up to caress the bearded cheek of the love of your life. “I love you, always,” You had never told Logan what your daughter’s name stood for, but as those words left your mouth, Logan understood. “Protect her, promise me?”

“I can’t lose you,” Logan cried as he leaned down to kiss your lips, they were cold to the touch. “Stay, stay with me, I love you, so much,” Logan knew you were fading, he could see it in your eyes. But denial had him in a chokehold that revenge couldn’t even pull him out of. “You’re the love of my life,”

“I know,” Was all you said back as a peaceful calm washed over you. “Protect our daughter, Logan,” You whispered as blood pooled in your mouth. “I love you, always, but she n-needs you.”

When you’re physically close to another person the nervous system responds, the body is flooded with feel-good hormones, and everything else just fades away.

“But I need you!” Logan cried out as he watched your life fade from you. “Don’t go!” He shouted at the top of his lungs. “Y/n?” Logan shook you in his arms, waiting for you to wake up, begging the heavens above to give you back. “No! No! No no no Darlin come back, WAKE UP!”

At the realisation that your soul had left your body, Logan broke. He cried and shouted and held your bloodied body until his instincts kicked in. He wasn’t sure how long he held you for, or how long he allowed himself to hate what he had been forced to do. But to you, Logan was the only version of him that you had ever known.

To you? He wasn’t the worst Logan, he was simply Logan.

“I love you,” He cooed as he kissed your lips and closed your eyelids. “I have to go save our baby girl,” Logan wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince himself to leave you or if he was letting you know that he’d be back. But either way, he left the ring he carried around in the back pocket of his jeans on your left ring finger.“I love you, always.”

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#logan wolverine #logan howlett #the worst wolverine #worst!logan x reader #ailesswhumptober2024 #ailesswhumptober #whump #angst #logan howlett x reader #deadpool and wolverine #james logan howlett #James Logan howlett x reader

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goodwhump-temp · 1 year ago

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Shawn Spencer Whump | Psych

1x02 Spellingg Bee - Motorcycle crash, hospital, knee brace, limp, bumps into bin, pain 1x03 Woman Seeking Dead Husband - Held at gunpoint x2 1x05 Lives - Held at gunpoint 1x06 Weekend Warriors - Held at gunpoint 1x15 Scary Sherry - Nightmare

2x02 65 Million Years Off - Shot at, scared 2x03 Psy vs Psy - Hostage 2x04 Zero to Murder in 60s - Brief boo-boo (chair race sabatoged) 2x05 And Down the Stretch... - Childhood bully 2x07 If You're So Smart... - Bullied by children 2x09 Bounty Hunters! - Handcuffed, jumps off boat, held at gunpoint 2x13 Lights, Camera… - Nearly nailed to death (38:00), character funeral 2x15 Black and Tan - Sad (18:30) 2x16 Shawn (and Gus) of the Dead - Mummy 'curse'

3x01 Ghosts - [Flashback; emo/arrested] Increasingly angry about mothers' return, confrontation, heartbroken 3x04 Greatest Adventure in the History of Basic Cable - Shot at, chased x3, restrained, held at helicopter-point and gunpoint, betrayed 3x06 There Might Be Blood - Held at gunpoint, dangerous confrontation 3x08 Gus Walks Into A Bank - Held back, worried, bank hostage, tight gus hug, manhandled 3x10 Six Feet Under the Sea - Held at gunpoint 3x11 Lassie Did a Bad, Bad Thing - Punched unconscious, hostage, held at gunpoint, pistol whipped, fatherly care, nearly passes out (40:15) 3x12 Earth, Wind And… - Runs into burning building, oxygen mask, held at firepoint, caught in burning building, briefly thought dead, coughing/smoke inhalation 3x13 Any Given Friday Night at 10PM - 'Abducted' 3x14 Truer Lies - Held at gunpoint 3x15 Tuesday the 17th - 'Trips', held at 'knifepoint' 3x16 An Evening with Mr. Yang - Angry, mom held hostage, scared, heartbroken

4x01 Extradition: British Colombia - Held at gunpoint x2 4x02 He Dead - Daddy issues 4x03 High Noon-ish - Stampede/pushed, falls into mineshaft, pain, held at gunpoint, trapped 4x04 Devil is in the Details… - Confession 4x05 Shawn Gets the Yips - Scared/dumb ("bomb" on treadmill) 4x06 Bollywood Homicide - Slapped (39:15) 4x07 High Top Fade Out - Held at gunpoint, shot at 4x09 Shawn Takes A Shot in the Dark - Shot, abducted/missing, bleeding, pain, knocked unconscious, choked, jumps on moving car, weak, sling 4x10 You Can't Handle This Episode - Shot at 4x12 A Very Juliet Episode - Held at gunpoint, punched x2, knocked down x2, kicked 4x16 Mr. Yin Presents - Nightmare, angry, heartbroken x2, fatherly love

5x01 Romeo & Juliet & Juliet - Held at gunpoint, falls through window, kicked through wall, insane dodging skillz, knocked down, sore 5x03 Not Even Close, Encounters - Held at gunpoint/abducted by 'aliens' 5x04 Chivalry is Not Dead - Hanging upside down (tomato face), poisoned, collapse, hospital, unconscious 5x07 Ferry Tale - Held at gunpoint x2, hostage, kicked in the face, tear gas inhalation, restrained, trips/tumbles down a hill 5x09 One, Maybe Two, Ways Out - Seriously heartbroken 5x12 Dual Spires - Trapped in burning house 5x13 We'd Like to Thank the Academy - Held at gunpoint x2 5x16 Yang 3 in 2D - Held at shotgunpoint, scared

6x01 Shawn Rescues Darth Vader - Jumps off roof 6x02 Last Night Gus - Hungover, stressed, jumps from balcony, shot at 6x04 Amazing Psych-Man & Tap-Man - Trips, found unconscious, punched, kicked x2, thrown, sand to the eye, exhausted 6x06 Shawn Interrupted - Mental patient, hands covered, knocked unconscious, restrained, held at gunpoint 6x09 Neil Simons Lover Retreat - Robbed, heartbroken x2 (29:35), smile through the pain (42:00) 6x10 Indiana Shawn and the Temple - Hand stuck, slapped, manhandled, held at gunpoint, 'crying' 6x13 Let's Doo-Wap it Again - Appendicitis, collapse, hospital drama-queen, held at gunpoint, drugged, drugs wear off, le rigor mortis, le pain, le kitty cat! 6x16 Santabarbaratown - Held at knifepoint, knocked unconscious, black-eye

7x01 Santabarbaratown 2 - Scared, angry, thrown, active mine, held at gunpoint x3, Lassie love 7x02 Juliet Takes A Luvvah - Traumatized (27:00) 7x03 Lassie Jerky - Shot at, held at gunpoint 7x04 No Country For Two Old Men - Held at gunpoint 7x06 Cirque Du Soul - Pain from pull-ups 7x07 Deez Nups - Huge confession, heartbroken 7x08 Right Turn Or Left For Dead - Insomnia, regret, depressed, head slammed into glass, bruise, concussion, denial, stabbed, nearly hit by truck, headache, tackled 7x11 Office Space - Poked x2, trips, bloody nose, scared, framed 7x14 No Trout About It - Painful yoga, choked, fired

8x01 Lock, Stock… - Held at gunpoint, "restrained" 8x05 COG Blocked - Jumpscared out of hammock, painful poke, body decked by cane, held at gunpoint 8x07 Shawn & Gus Truck Things Up - Hand squeezed painfully 8x09 Nightmare on State Street - Slapped, zombie 8x10 The Break-Up - Nervous, held at gunpoint, shot at, emotional

#whump #emotional whump #whump list #whumplist #psych #psych whump #shawn spencer #shawn spencer whump #james roday #james roday whump #shawn spencer whumplist #psych tv

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whumpypepsigal · 2 years ago

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Shadow and Bone s02e06: “Know that I loved you, Aleksander. Know that it wasn't enough.”

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vexingwoman · 8 months ago

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I'm sorry if this isn't articulated well and is a little rambly, I'm autistic, please take my words with a grain of salt. as a former member of that "whump community" (who's still into that kind of media) I know most of them are tifs, tho I was in it more when most of the popular writers on tumblr were still girls. It's also primarily autistic people from my experience.

you're definitely 100% right that they're not identifying as real men, I'm detrans and i don't even conflate the 2 in my mind which i think is a thing most RFs don't get about yaoi and this kind of thing, i didn't want to be a real guy, fictional men r like their own species lol. they're everything real men could never be. it might be hard to understand if you're less chronically online but I'm sure though not consciously, fictional men aren't even really related to real men in most of these people's minds.

With whump stuff I was always more uncomfortable or uninterested when it was a woman, maybe because women in media being hurt and weak is the norm (and it feels too real seeing a woman getting hurt since there's a closer connection), and it happening to men is an intriguing reversal. More male attracted women (im bi) are into more sensitive guys which sadly mostly exist in media, so it's just escapism.

I think that's also why they identify as trans males, they want to become closer to the fictional ideal of a male who can be soft and sensitive, or possibly being autistic and having trouble separating your special interests and escapist fantasies from every facet of your life.

(For context, this was sent in response to this post)

I think you’re onto something here. Brutality against female people is so common that we’re completely desensitized to it, and consequently, female characters being brutalized doesn’t emotionally move us. Either that, or brutality against female characters is highly sexualized, and further dehumanizes them.

On the other hand, brutality against a male character is unexpected and unusual. Therefore, we are emotionally moved by it and able to recognize it for the tragedy it is. Indeed, this might explain why the “whump community” almost exclusively romanticizes the torture and anguish of male characters, and why so many of its members identify as trans guys.

Furthermore, have you noticed that most of the tropes this community romanticizes are things that, at least in real life, female people are primarily the victims of? For example: rape, kidnapping, stalking, being drugged, being sold. It almost feels like an attempt to vicariously garner empathy for female suffering, without the element of being another cliché female victim. I feel like they impose female suffering onto male characters because they know the audience actually empathizes for males and views them as full human beings.

In the end, I think it all comes down to female people’s desire to be fully humanized and to escape gendered stereotyping. For example, you stated that many trans-identified females “want to become closer to the fictional ideal of a male who can be soft and sensitive.” But why is a soft, sensitive male character so much more charming to them than a soft, sensitive female character?

Because in their eyes, softness and sensitivity in a male character is seen as authentic; it’s seen as a consequence of his unique personality. But softness and sensitivity in a female character is seen as expected, as stereotypical—it’s seen only a consequence of her gender. This is also why characters who are fathers are adored, while characters who are mothers are overlooked or scrutinized. Because a male character taking care of children is kindhearted, nurturing, selfless, compassionate. But a female character taking care of children is just doing her job.

Basically, I think many trans-identified females would like their softness and sensitivity to be viewed as authentically as we view softness and sensitivity in males. I think many trans-identified females crave for their characteristics to be viewed as consequences of their unique personalities, rather than consequences of their gender. They crave to be seen as human first and female second—not the other way around.

#terfblr #radical feminist safe #radblr #sexism #misogny #trans logic #gender critical #radical feminism #terfsafe #gender abolition #tif #whump community #whump #answered asks

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godsfavdarling · 3 months ago

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I don’t know how to do this

my masterlist

pairing: Spencer Reid x bau!gn!reader words: 2,7k summary: Diana has passed away, and Spencer is struggling to find a way to move forward. warnings: angst/hurt, death of a parent, grieving, mention of a case, drinking a/n: this was written for 2024 Criminal Minds Pre-Whumptober organized by @tobias-hankel! Main Whump-ed Character: Spencer Reid Bad Thing: Minor Character Death Bad Person: No One One Line Prompt: "She was the only family I had left... I don't know how to do this."

The cold night air mixed with AC hit you as you stepped out of the elevator, heading towards the hotel's bar. You had checked on Spencer's room earlier and knocked a few times, but there was no response. Either he wasn’t there or he didn’t want to answer.

Given the month he had, you couldn’t blame him for wanting to be alone.

Diana had passed away quietly in her sleep from a stroke, exactly 25 days ago. Spencer had received the call early that Saturday morning and immediately caught a flight to Las Vegas.

At the same time, the team was called in on a high-profile kidnapping - the daughter of a senator had gone missing in New York.

You all hesitated, torn between going to support Spencer or going after the missing girl.

Your first instinct was to be there for him, but with a child’s life on the line, the team knew you were needed in the field. With heavy hearts, you left Spencer to deal with his mother’s passing alone. He assured you all he understood and that he’d be fine.

But deep down, you knew he wasn’t.

You felt horrible. As much as you tried to focus on the case, the thought of Spencer dealing with everything alone gnawed at you.

It crushed your soul knowing he had no one by his side. You tried calling him a few times a day, but he never picked up.

All you received were brief text messages saying he couldn’t talk right now. While sitting in the senator’s living room discussing strategy, you had to physically stop yourself from getting up, walking out the door, and catching the taxi to the airport.

Every instinct screamed at you to be with him, but duty held you back.

A few days later, the senator’s daughter was saved, and Spencer returned to the office as if nothing had happened - or at least, he tried to.

When he walked in, your hearts sank. No one knew what to say. He gave an awkward smile and casually asked about the case, but the tension in the room was palpable.

Seeing the uncertainty in your faces, Spencer quickly added that he was okay, asking you not to tiptoe around him. He kept repeating it, insisting he was fine, but the hollow look in his eyes told a different story.

Hotch took Spencer into his office, and you knew exactly why. He wanted Spencer to take some time off, to grieve.

You had already planned to check on him the next day - bring dinner, maybe even cook something, and just let him talk it all out.

But when you arrived at the office the following morning, Spencer was already at his desk, quietly working on paperwork. You glanced at Morgan in confusion, and he just shrugged, defeated, before returning to his own desk.

Maybe this was Spencer’s way of coping - throwing himself back into routine, not wanting to be left alone with his thoughts. It made sense, you reasoned.

You tried a few times to get him alone, to check in on him, but he always quickly changed the subject, steering conversations away from himself.

You asked Hotch to make him take some time off, and he obviously tried, but Spencer was more than stubborn. Hotch seemed to agree with your assessment - maybe isolation was the last thing Spencer needed right now.

Maybe staying busy was how he was coping.

Besides, the team was short-staffed. You needed all hands on deck, and Spencer was an invaluable asset. So, you stopped pushing.

Spencer was smarter than all of you - he knew what he was doing.

At first, he seemed to be succeeding in pretending he was okay. He threw himself into work, keeping up appearances.

But after a few days, the cracks began to show. His hands trembled slightly when he reached for files, the dark circles under his eyes deepened, and there was a sharp tension in his voice that hadn’t been there before.

You wanted to keep asking if he was alright, but after he snapped at you one day, you stopped.

You didn’t know how to help him anymore. And to make things worse, the cases piled up - one brutal crime after another.

It felt like you barely touched ground in D.C. before you were back on a plane, headed to some new tragedy.

At some point, you couldn’t even remember the last time you did groceries or cleaned your place.

The team had no choice but to keep moving forward, and the new version of Spencer - present, but hollow - became the norm.

You were in Nebraska, trying to stop a killer who had already claimed the lives of three teenage girls. Two more were still missing, and the clock was ticking.

Every minute felt like a failure.

The unsub had left no trace, no evidence to follow, and the pressure to find the girls alive was mounting. It was wearing everyone down, but Spencer most of all.

He had been unnervingly quiet, keeping to himself and diving deep into the case. His usual calm demeanor had cracked.

You saw the signs - his hands trembling slightly as he flipped through files, the way he’d rub his temples like he was warding off a headache.

His grief, compounded by the endless string of brutal cases, was starting to suffocate him.

And then it happened.

The team was gathered at the precinct, going over the latest developments when a local officer made a passing remark about the profile. “I’m not sure this is helping us. We’ve been following this lead for days, and we’re no closer to finding them.”

Spencer’s head snapped up, eyes narrowing dangerously.

His voice was sharp, cutting through the room. “You think the profile isn’t helping because you don’t understand it.” His tone was low but laced with anger. “If you had done your job properly, maybe we wouldn’t be dealing with two more missing girls right now.”

The officer looked taken aback. “Look, I’m just trying to—”

“No, you’re not!” Spencer's voice rose, his frustration boiling over. “You’re standing here questioning everything we’ve done while we’re running out of time. These girls are dying because no one here knows how to handle a case like this!”

The room fell into stunned silence. Spencer’s hands were trembling, his face flushed, his entire body coiled like a spring about to snap. The officer, wide-eyed, took a step back.

That’s when Hotch intervened.

“Reid,” Hotch’s voice was firm but calm. “That’s enough.”

Spencer turned toward Hotch, eyes still burning with barely contained anger. “We’re wasting time, Hotch. If we don’t move now-”

“You need to step away,” Hotch said, cutting him off with a steely gaze. “Right now, you’re doing more harm than good.”

Spencer looked like he was going to argue, but Hotch didn’t give him the chance. “Go back to the hotel. Get some rest.”

“I don’t need rest,” Spencer shot back, his voice tight with frustration. “I need to find these girls.”

“You’re exhausted, and you’re not thinking clearly,” Hotch continued, his voice hardening. “If you stay here like this, you’ll only make things worse. Go. Now.”

Spencer stood there for a moment, fists clenched, his chest rising and falling as he tried to hold himself together.

But Hotch’s gaze didn’t waver, and after a long, tense silence, Spencer relented. Without another word, he stormed out of the precinct, the door slamming shut behind him.

The room stayed silent for a few seconds, everyone watching the door as if expecting Spencer to come back. But he didn’t.

Hotch let out a slow breath, his jaw tight. “He needs to rest,” he muttered, more to himself than to the team, before turning back to the case. “Let’s get back to work.”

A few hours later, Hotch told the rest of you to head back to the hotel and get some sleep. You all needed it - there was nothing more you could do while exhausted.

That’s how you found yourself at the hotel bar after trying to check on Spencer.

You needed a drink. You needed a moment to breathe.

As you walked into the bar, you saw him.

Spencer was sitting at the counter, staring down at a half-empty glass of whiskey. The sight made you pause. Spencer never drank.

You hesitated, watching him for a moment, unsure of whether to approach or let him have the solitude he seemed to crave.

But seeing him like this - broken, still drowning in his grief and frustration of the case - it was impossible to just leave him there.

Taking a deep breath, you approached and slid into the seat next to him. He didn’t look up.

After a moment, you broke the silence. “Hey.”

Spencer blinked slowly, his eyes bloodshot, as if it took him a moment to register your presence.

He didn’t say anything at first, just stared at the few drops of amber liquid left in his glass. His fingers tightened around the glass, knuckles going white.

“Sorry about today,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “This case is just... and the others this month were so...”

“I know,” you said softly, your heart breaking for him.

Spencer was always so articulate, so precise with his words. Seeing him struggle to express himself felt unsettling. His usual clarity aand wits seemed to have vanished.

His eyes stayed fixed on the glass “How are you holding up?” he asked, his voice cracking.

“Oh… I’m fine,” you replied. “We’ll figure it out. And Hotch already promised us a week off once this is over.”

“Really?” Spencer asked, his voice tight with a hint of nervousness.

“Yeah,” you said, trying to offer a comforting smile. “We all need it.”

He said nothing.

“Spencer,” you began softly, trying to gauge his reaction. “I know you’ve been thrown into work, and I understand why. But I also know you didn’t really have time to grieve for your mom. It’s been a lot, and I want to make sure you’re okay.”

You watched him closely, trying to read his expression. “We’ve been so focused on the cases and keeping things moving, but your well-being matters too. You don’t have to go through this alone. It’s okay to take a step back and let yourself feel what you’re feeling.”

You paused, giving him space to respond, hoping that your words would reach him.

He was too focused on work, too busy trying to stay afloat in a sea of pain and responsibility. It was eating away at him, and you couldn’t ignore it any longer.

You knew he was trying to push his grief aside, burying it under layers of work and duty. It was his way of coping, but you weren’t sure anymore if it was working.

Spencer remained silent, his eyes still fixed on the glass. The room started to feel heavy and the silence grew more uncomfortable by the second.

You knew you had to do something to break through the barrier he’d built.

You took a deep breath, trying to keep your voice gentle and inviting.

“Spencer,” you said softly, “how about we go for a walk? You know… we could clear our heads a bit and breathe some fresh air”

He didn’t respond immediately, but after a moment, he looked up at you with his eyes beautiful chocolate brown as always but tired and wary.

You could see he was wrestling with the idea, but you hoped that the offer of a simple walk might give him the space he needed to open up.

“Just a walk,” you continued, offering a small, encouraging smile. “No pressure. Just some fresh air. I need it.”

After a brief pause, Spencer nodded slowly. He stood up, still looking uncertain.

You walked together in silence, the crisp night air a welcome contrast to the hot and tiring day.

The nearby park was quiet, illuminated by scattered streetlights that cast a gentle glow on the two of you and the empty path ahead. The rhythmic crunch of leaves under your feet was the only sound, offering at least just a moment of stillness in all the chaos.

After a while, you found a secluded bench nestled under a canopy of trees. You gestured for Spencer to sit, and he did, though he looked uneasy.

You took a seat beside him, giving him space but staying close enough to offer comfort.

You couldn’t even begin to fathom what he was going through. His family situation had never been easy, and now, left completely alone - it broke your heart.

Finally, Spencer spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know how to do this,” he said, his tone breaking with vulnerability. “She was the only family I had left… I don’t know how to do this.”

You turned to him, seeing the pain etched deeply into his features.

His eyes were distant, filled with sorrow. His quiet admission was a stark contrast to the usual composure you were used to, and it hit you - the force of his raw grief and you felt an intense, helpless wish to erase it. You wished you could make it all go away. You wished you could take some of it from his heart to yours.

Maybe together you could carry it all.

You imagined a world where grief could be split, a world where his pain could be lessened by your willingness to shoulder part of it. Would he let you carry some of it?

“I keep thinking that if I stay busy if I just keep working, I won’t have to face it. But it doesn’t work like that. It just keeps coming back.” He swallowed hard, his voice trembling. “She was everything to me. I don’t know how to move on… how to live… without her.”

Spencer’s gaze remained fixed on the ground, his fingers gripping the edge of the bench as if it were the only thing keeping him from breaking down.

“I’ve been trying to hold it together, but it’s so hard,” he said, his voice cracking.

“I’ve been taking care of her since I was a kid and... Over the years, I watched her mind slip away, losing bits and pieces of herself. It was like watching someone you love disappear in slow motion. And then, she started forgetting me too. I was the only one left to care for her, and it felt like I was losing her over and over again.And no matter how hard i tried, no matter what I did I couldn’t help it”

He continued, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. “And now… she’s gone for good, it’s like I’m left with this… huge void. I miss her so much, and I know how messed up it is but a part of me feels… relieved that she’s not suffering anymore. But it’s all so tangled up in my head. I don’t know if I should be sad that she’s gone or if I should feel guilty for feeling relieved that she’s finally at peace. I’m confused and lost and I don’t know what I feel and what I should feel.”

He looked at you, eyes pleading for understanding. “I thought I could handle it, that if I just kept going, I’d find a way through. I’d figure it out like always. I always know what to do but this… I don’t know.”

You let everything he said sink in and gently placed your hand over his, checking to make sure he was comfortable with the touch.

“I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re feeling right now. It’s a lot. And it’s okay not to have all the answers immediately. Grieving is always messy and complicated, and it takes time. You don’t have to go through this alone, and there’s no need to rush. We’re here for you, and I’m here for you no matter what.”

His eyes glistened as he looked at you, the weight of his grief momentarily softened by your words.

Without another word, you opened your arms, inviting him into a hug. He hesitated for just a moment before wrapping his arms around you.

As you held him close, you whispered, “You don’t have to carry this alone. I’m right here with you, and you can always talk to me okay?”

“Okay,” he whispered into your hair, his voice trembling slightly.

#spencer reid angst #spencer reid hurt #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x gn reader #spencer reid x gn!reader #spencer reid one shot #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid whump #criminal minds angst #spencer reid hurt/comfort

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wangxianficfinder · 7 months ago

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In the mood for...

May 10th

~*~

1. Hello! I have an ITMF request when you have the time. I was recently thinking about the fic, "Heaven Has No Rage" by flipfloppandas and I particularly like how it developed the relationship between WWX and YZY. Do you/the community know of any other fics where she is able to reconcile her role as his mother by going through something difficult with him? Thank you! @balleyboley

some things go forward by everythingispoetry (T, 73k, WangXian, Modern AU, Hospitals, Teenage Drama, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Happy Ending)

🔒❤️ the thing with feathers by RoseThorne (G, 43k,wangxian, Transmigration, Time Travel Fix-It, Illnesses, Family, Scars, Memory Loss, Angst, Fear, Recovery, Sharing a Bed, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good Parent YZY, Referenced Sexual Slavery, Blood and Gore, Sexual Tension, Arranged Marriage, Grief, Adoption, POV Third Person, POV Alternating, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Good Parent LQR, Clairvoyance, Butterfly Effect)

~*~

2. for the next itmf: are there any fics where wangxian just enlope and leave everyone behind to deal with it? where there are actual, something that makes the characters actually feel the, im not sure if this is the right word, consequences of an enlopement? or that wangxian just gave up making other people accept their love and just do what they want? like they don't care that they don't have approval.

i have seem many fics where they say that they want to get married expecting the disapproval of everyone, and magically no one has anything against it or at least not the characters that matter, or the ones that are against it are won over. the enlopement are usually used as a last resource not actually needed

thinking about everyone's book canon characterization, does anyone know a fic that resembles what anything about what im talking about?

~*~

3. Howdy! Wondering if you had any pirate or siren au would love any especially longer completed works thank you mods!!!!

luminous by azuresummer (E, 50k, WangXian, WIP, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Dom/sub Undertones, Dominant LWJ, Submissive WWX, Modern, Merpeople, A/B/O, Dark LXC, Dark LWJ, Possessive LWJ, Protective LWJ, Crime Boss LWJ, Omega WWX, Siren WWX, Merperson WWX, Hurt WWX, WWX Whump, Precious WWX, Spoiled WWX, WWX Has a Fear of Dogs, Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Nesting, Scenting, Power Imbalance, Obsession, Kidnapping, Organized Crime, Mild Gore, Minor Character Death, Excessive Amounts of Tenderness, Pining LWJ, Dark WangXian)

The Ocean Between Us by catbrainedschemes (M, 41k, WangXian, Modern AU, Historical, Reincarnation, Inspired by K-Drama | Korean Drama, legend of the blue sea, Fairy Tale, Fluff, Pining, Eventual Smut, Happy Ending, Childhood Sweethearts, Siren!wwx, Human!LWJ, Romantic Comedy, star-crossed lovers, Past LWJ/others (brief mentions), Slow Burn, Angst, Finding each other again)

💖 oceans, drowned in starfire by stiltonbasket (T, 30k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, modern, novelist LWJ, merman WWX, accidental baby acquisation, family secrets, domestic fluff, happy ending)

melt away (in your arms) by saccharinings (M, 32k, WangXian, Siren WWX, Prince LWJ, Fluff, Inspired by Legend of the Blue Sea (TV), The Little Mermaid Fusion, Mermaid WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending, Amnesia, with a twist ;), Hopeful Ending)

In Whispers, In Songs, In Silence by JessicaMDawn (T, 20k, WangXian, LXC & LWJ, LSZ & LWJ, Sirens, Siren WWX, Canon Divergence, Blood and Violence, Implied/Referenced Torture, Canonical Character Death, but not as many as canon, Sign Language, WWX is a Good Guy, Creature Fic, Перевод на русский | Translation in Russian)

🔒 He's a Pirate by GrimmShadows (T, 23k, WangXian, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Pirate AU, Siren WWX, King WWX, Canon-Typical Violence, Captain LWJ, Angst with a Happy Ending)

🔒 Secrets of Yunmeng's Lotus Lakes by Cy_an_Blue (M, 73k, WangXian, one-sided SS/WWX, A/B/O, Omega WWX, Mermaid WWX, Cultivator LWJ, Younger WWX, Younger LWJ, teenage WWX, teenage LWJ, No War AU, Non-Traditional A/B/O Dynamics, Falling In Love, Getting Together, Interspecies Romance, Interspecies Relationship(s), Interspecies Awkwardness, Injury Recovery, Injury, Blood and Injury, accidental injury, Accidental Stabbing, Cultivation Accidents, Near Death, Near Death Experiences, waterborne abyss, Kidnapping, Non-Explicit Torture, Mentions of major injury, People are evil, people are greedy bastards, Fluff, Attempted Sexual Assault, SS being ick, Courtship, Courting Rituals)

The Treasure of Maroon Bay by fenaly (M, 30k, WangXian, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Pirates, Fantasy, Romance, pirate captain LWJ, merman WWX, first encounters, minor character death in the subplot, mentions of magical things)

Still Waters by WiseDawn13 (E, 21k, WangXian, Modern, Merpeople, POV WWX, Human WWX, Merman LWJ, Light Angst, wangxian's parents are alive and well, speedrun, WWX is Loved, Chaotic Bisexual WWX, LWJ is a Confident Gay, Happy Ending, Art Embedded, Hand Jobs, Oral Sex, what you doing out here with all this cock? double dicked up on a thursday afternoon, merji has two dicks, Double Penetration in One Hole, Anal Sex, wangxian are horny and in love, Getting Together, Marriage Proposal, Implied Switch WangXian)

~*~

4. Do you know a fic where with we have a lot of friendship moment between Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang and where Huaisang is a protective friend (and a Wangxian shipper)?

Story-Shaped by lingering_song (T, 13k, NHS & WWX, wangxian, Post-Canon, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Inventor WWX, Found Family, NHS needs a new hobby, And apparently that’s spoiling his Wei-Xiong, Mentioned Character Death, Alcohol, Protective NHS, WangXian Endgame, Not JC Friendly, Not particularly gentry sects friendly overall tbh)

A Future Family In A Broken Past by Hauntcats (T, 121k, wangxian, WWX & Wen Remnants, Jiang Family & WWX, WQ/MM, JYL/NHS, LXC/NMJ, Not Jiāng Family Friendly, Not Cultivation World Friendly, WWX Needs a Hug, Family Dynamics, What is a good family?, Fear of emotions does not excuse abuse, Not Jiang Clan Friendly, Angst with a Happy Ending, Time Travel fix-it, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon Divergence, LXC needs a hug, Everyone Needs A Hug, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Not YZY Friendly)

Hold on to the reason that you stayed series by tawaen (M, 63k, WN & WQ, WN & MXY, WN & WWX & WQ, WangXian, Ghost General WN, Ghost WQ, Eventual WAngXian, Canon Divergence, WQ comes back to haunt the cultivation world, Bad idea to kill the one person who didn't kill anyone, Cultivation World Critical, Not JC Friendly, Wen Remnants Deserve Better, Sīsī Deserves Better, MXY Deserves Better, POV WQ, Discussion of Golden Core Reveal, Anti-reconciliation, Outsider POV on Jiāng dynamics, POV NHS, Martial God WWX)

I Have Arranged to Tie You to Me by xxxMiaHikarixxx (G, 51k, WIP, WangXian, Lan protective team, Time Travel, Past, LWJ oriented, Arranged Marriage, Boys In Love, Soulmates, Fix-It, Jiang siblings, not jiang parents friendly, Soft LWJ, Protective LWJ, Genius WWX)

🔒 like mayflies wandering series by RoseThorne (E, 21k, NHS & WWX, WangXian, Assassination Attempt(s), Introspection, Regret, Travel, Post-Canon, POV Third Person, POV WWX, Ghosts, Reconciliation, Exhaustion, Pining, Pre-WangXian, Pining, Feelings Realization, Illnesses, ennui, Found Family, Porn Reading, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Manipulative NHS, Memories, WWX Needs a Hug, Post-Canon, Pining WWX, Friendship, NHS is a Little Shit, Qi Deviation, Resentful Energy, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Triggers, Fainting, Anal Sex, Getting Together, Love) ConfessionsGrief/Mourning

~*~

5. Do you know stories where Wei Wuxian's parents are not dead but send into the future so they arrive after the events of the canon and try to find their son?

The Return of Cangse Sanren by milesofheart (T, 52k, WIP, WangXian, CSR/WCZ, Canon Divergence, CSR & WCZ Live, Angst with a happy ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Burial Mounds days, BAMF CSR)

An Inch of Grass, and All The Sunshine of Spring by ChilianXianzi (T, 1k, WIP, wangxian, CSSR/WCZ, CSSR & LWJ & WCZ, canon divergence, time travel, grief/mourning, parent-child relationship, found family, fluff & angst)

The Long Winding Road Homeby Admiranda (T, 13k, CSSR/WCZ, wangxian, flash forwards, Time Travel, Post canon, WWX’s parents come to post canon mdzs, not for JC fans, fluffy family reunions, mocking LQR to his face, mocking JC to his face, wild rumors abound)

Wei Changze's weird day by Weiyingbestboy (Not Rated, 1k, WangXian, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, WangXian babies) this is actually the opposite if you're interested! WWX + juniors appear in the past and freak Wei Changze the fuck out

The lark and the willow by Mhalachai (G, WangXian, CSSR/WCZ, Time Travel, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chief Cultivator LWJ, More parental issues than you can shake a stick at, make time travel have consequences you cowards, yunmeng bros reconciliation)

Love you always, in any form you come in by YumichanHamano (G, 7k, WangXian, CSSR/WCZ, Time Travel, Fluff, happy birthday wei wuxian!, he can have his parents back as a treat :) )

~*~

6. I would like to find a fic where Jin Ling learns more about his parents death because the boy didn't have had a accurate version in his life and he want to know the truth.

🧡 Vow by draechaeli (E, 216k, Canon Divergence, BeliefGod!WWX, Adoption but WWX birthed them all, Pregnancy Kink, Mpreg, minor male lactation, Consensual Non-Consent, Light Bondage, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con because JGS, Mentions Canon Typical Incest, Canon Typical Violence) Chapter 8 of Vow has Wei Wuxian's spirit tell Jin Ling the truth about how his parents died.

~*~

7. Hey! Have you ever read a book which is reacting to the book or series but it has covered the part where the golden core reveal is done? All the other books in this type are WIPs even before covering half of the book and never reaching that part T^T

💖 The Path by Seastar98 (Not rated, 279k, wangxian, JC/WQ, JYL/JZX, watching the series, Fix-It of Sorts, Canon Divergence, Golden Core Reveal, CQL Verse, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF NHS, check chapters for specific warnings)

~*~

8. Hi! Itmf LXC takes care of WWX, not just in a sick fic sense, but also as a good gege, supportive brother that doesn’t have anger issues, caring brother in law looking out for his chaotic didi @vi-sky

🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 803k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement) long af, LXC is pretty supportive in this

💖🔒 Hoards and treasuresby apathyinreverie (T, 21k, WangXian, Siblings, Family, not particularly Jiang friendly, YZY Bashing, slightly darker Gusu Lans, LXC being the best brother, Some manipulation, But with the best of intentions, and not between wangxian, Dragon LWJ, Fox WWX, Smitten LWJ, Fluff, perfect happiness, adorable WWX, Romance, Some worldbuilding, courting) supportive in a slightly dark way but still supportive

how a smiling homeless child melted jade hearts and got a home by anxiouswreck0_0 (T, 41k, wangxian, canon divergence, lan WWX, childhood friends to fiances, fluff & angst, fix-it of sorts, character death, possessive LWJ, dark LXC) WWX grows up in the Lan sect, mother hen LXC

🔒 Unstoppable by Netrixie (T, 149k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Eventual Happy Ending, Unreliable Narrator, Slow Burn, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Wolf-shifter WWX, Resolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Romantic Tension, Fix-It, Werewolf, Shapeshifters) love the brother/brother-in-law relationship in this series - in another part, WWX is the protective brother for LXC

A Fortuitous Bad Encounter by VividestList (E, 26k, WangXian, LXC & WWX, A/B/O, Omega WWX, Alpha LWJ, mild dubcon mentioned, in that WWX thinks that he used his heat to get LWJ to have sex with him, but we all know that’s a lie and he just can’t take a hint, LWJ was drunk tho, but that dubcon was also canon, mentions of mpreg, Mpreg, Misunderstandings, Mating Bites, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Kid Fic, Dirty Talk, Possessive Sex, possessive LWJ, Riding, Praise Kink, Rough Sex, Hair Pulling, Breeding Kink) LXC supports WWX when he gets pregnant and keeps the secret for him

there are pieces of you, of us by MusicPlotter (T, 4k, WangXian, LXC & LWJ, LXC & WWX, Canonical Character Death, Minor Canon Divergence, They don't get eloped, That's it, Angst, Fluff, LXC Is A Good Brother, WWX Deserves The World) LXC looks at chaotic WWX and says "that's a free didi"

I Made My Choice and It Was You by merakily (G, 10k, WangXian, LXC& WWX, Fluff and Angst, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Baggage, PTSD, Nightmares, In-Laws, Post-Canon, Family Bonding) post canon bonding

I'll Protect That Pretty Smile by legendlanzhan (T, 16k, WangXian, LXC & WWX, LQR & WWX, WIP, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Fluff, Some angst, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, No Sunshot Campaign, Good Uncle LQR, Good Sibling LXC, WWX is a lan, LQR finds WWX a week after his parents die and brings him to the cloud recesses, LQR is trying his best actually, LXC is the best big brother, every single lan loves WWX bc that's what he deserves, WWX and LWJ get to make lots of friends! not even JZX is off the table!, head disciples WWX and LWJ) incomplete, but LQR finds WWX before JFM, good older brother LXC

Nursery Rhymes by manaika (M, 96k, WangXian, NieLan, Modern AU, Inexperienced WWX, Experienced LWJ, Reconciliation, Budding Love, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Unreliable Narrator, Medical Inaccuracies, Slow Burn, Past Character Death, Childhood Trauma, Found Family, Past Injury, Nurse! WWX, Doctor! LXC, Teacher! LWJ, Character With A Heart Condition (Major), Past Incarceration (Major Character), Underage Character With Leukemia (Minor)) wonderful friendship/found family relationship btwn WWX and LXC

Please Let Me Take Care of You by incidentallyWangxian (G, 9k, WangXian, LXC & LWJ, LXC & WWX, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Sexual Assault, ish, kinda assault, drugged WWX, big brother LXC, Nightmares, the horrifying ordeal of being known, Modern, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Hurt WWX, crying WWX) WWX gets roofied, LXC comes to pick him up

🔒 Calling out for justice by marhikit (Not Rated, 10k, WangXian, LXC & WWX, LQR & WWX, JC & WWX & JYL, QHJ & WWX, WIP, Not JC Friendly, Not Jiang Family Friendly, canon JC characteristic) LXC uncovers scars/abuse WWX has suffered

O Moon, My Midnight Lover by stiltonbasket (G, 2k, WangXian, LXC & WWX, married wangxian, Introspection, Character Study, best bro-in-law LXC, Parenthood, Mild Angst, just a smidge yknow, Happy Ending, wangxian have babies, they are the cutest things) LXC and WWX bond while waiting for LWJ to come back from a night hunt

🔒 the thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break by RoseThorne (E, 91k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Soulmates, Self-Esteem Issues, Fix-It, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, PTSD, Handfasting, Panic Attacks, Getting Together, First Time, Aftercare, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Torture, Scars, Chronic Pain, Golden Core Reveal, First Time, Switching, sex-related injury, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, LSZ is a Wèi, Good Sibling JC, Dissociation, Burial Mounds Settlement Days)

~*~

9. I'm in a mood for a fic where a modern LWJ somehow ends up in the past, where he meets WWX (preferably if the modern day is no cultivation while the past does have cultivation, though that isn't a requirement.)

~*~

10. hiiii itmf fics where wwx is very affectionate but lwj reacts rudely then misses it and grovels when wwx stops and/or starts hanging out with someone else. arranged marriage would be a nice plus! @nalalie

the river and the sea by sasamelons (T, 7k, WangXian, Soulmates, Arranged Marriage, Misunderstandings, Angst with a Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Falling In Love, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Mutual Pining)

much sweeter than by mellowflicker (T, 3k, WangXian, Royaltyish, Arranged Marriage, a little bit of, YLLZ WWX, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending)

True Gold Fears No Fire by defractum (nyargles) (M, 69k, WIP, WangXian, Royalty AU, Ancient China, Wuxia, Historical Inaccuracy, Arranged Marriage, Identity Porn, Mutual Pining, Emperor!LWJ, empress!wwx, Eventual Happy Ending, Misunderstandings)

~*~

11. hi! itmf fic where lwj becomes a member of the jiang, either before or after wwx’s return; i’ve read Delight in Misery by njreseki but i’m interested in other takes on the idea!

The Price of Freedom by meyari (T, 32k, WangXian, JC/LWJ, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Past Character Death, Grief/Mourning, PTSD, Post-War, Children In Danger, Past Rape/Non-con, Warning: Jin Guangshan, Physical Abuse, Chronic Pain, Canon-Typical Violence, seriously a lot of grief and loss, no resurrections (yet), Not LQR Friendly, Execution, excessive discipline, Platonic Relationships) note that the LWJ/JC tagged is actually platonic, this is JC POV, and there is significant Lan Sect-bashing

this blood in my mouth by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 3k, WangXian, LSZ & WWX & LWJ, Post-Canon, POV LXC)

~*~

12. hi, thank you so much for this! i’ve wanted something just like this in other fandoms but never actually found one before! i’m in the mood for time travel fic, but with one of jiang cheng or wen qing as the time traveler, and with chengqing as one of the endgame ships alongside wangxian. thank you again!!!

For Both Of Us (And Time Is But A Paper Moon) by sami (E, 65k, wangxian, JC & WWX; JC & LWJ, LWJ & LXC, Canonical Character Death, Mentions of Rape, not explicit but definitely referenced, Time Travel, Not Everyone Dies au, Canon-Typical Violence, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, WWX/babie tendencies, WQ is a queen in any reality, Healing, Yunmeng Shuangjie, Canon Divergence, Asexual JC, First Time, Getting Together, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, WWX finds new ways to be oblivious, seriously it surprised even us)

Lynchpin by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 103k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Time Travel, Fix-It)

The Stranger Inside My Son by Mademoiselle_A (T, 65k, JC & YZY, JC & JFM, JC & WWX, JC & JL, JC & JYL, WangXian, JC & JGY, WIP, Time Travel Fix-It, But from an outsider's POV, JC is So Done, JFM's A+ parenting, YZY's A+ Parenting, Both are not great but this is not a bashing fic, JC-centric, But from JFM's POV lol, POV Outsider)

💖 With Surgical Precision by metisket (T, 20k, WQ & WN, WQ & WWX, WangXian, Time Travel, Families of Choice, sibling bonding through murder)

~*~

13. Itmf wangxian fics with wen ning? He feels such a background character in many fics, I want some wwx and wn together!! Their dynamic is so cute like, wy: " you there wen ning? " wn: " for you young master? Always"

Ps: I'm not asking them in a romantic sense

Pps: no moder fics please

break by justdoityoufucker (T, 3k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, LXC Critical, JC Critical, Canonical Character Death, Guānyīn Temple Scene, BAMF WN, Protective WN)

~*~

14. Are there fics with actually head disciple wwx in action? Like not just mentioning but actually doing??

🔒 The Water's Right, It's Sinking In by GravityWinsAgain (T, 9k, WangXian, Fluff and Angst, but the angst is all in lwj's head, seriously nothing outside of his own internalized panic is happening, LWJ visits lotus pier, And has a breakdown about it, Canon Divergence, No Sunshot Campaign, da-shixiong wwx, Repressed lwj, But they figure it out in the end, Happy Ending, lwj has emotions and is not pleased, Location: Lotus Pier)

~*~

15. Please find fics where wwx is a very influential person across the cultivation world, not post canon, but when everyone (EVRYONE) is alive . Thankyou.

Become Tomorrow by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 39k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, WWX is BSSR’s disciple)

Debts of a Child series by Hauntcats (M, 115k, WangXian, dark, YZY Bashing, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Angst and Feels, lots of anger, JC Bashing, not Jiang friendly, Angst with a Happy Ending, Content warning for icky spiders in later chapters.)

Field Trips with Wei Wuxian by antebunny (G, 42k, WangXian, WQ & WWX, NMJ & WWX, JZX & WWX, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Found Family, Angst with a Happy Ending, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, protective Jiang siblings, Unreliable Narrator, due to WWX assuming ppl hate him, JYL is gonna dropkick her baby bro into having friends)

Dispersing Clouds by dreamingofcake (E, 166k, WangXian, WIP, Canon Divergence, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Abusive YZY, Canonical Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Sex, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm (Background Character), Background Character Deaths, child deaths, Canon JC, Good Uncle LQR, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Cultivation Sect Politics, Homophobia, Heteronormativity, Feelings Realization, WWX is Not Oblivious)

~*~

16. Hii! There was this itmf post where someone asked for inventor wwx! Can you please find the post? I've scrolled down for like 5 times already but I can't find it , please help

Lay my body down by tawaen (M, 48k, WWX & WQ, WWX & WN, WangXian, WWX & JYL, Canon Divergence, Time Travel, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Eventual WangXian, No Golden Core Transfer, Not Cultivation World Friendly, Canon-Typical Violence, Not JC Friendly, Tagged just in case because there is no redemption arc here, What if WWX saw the first siege of the burial mounds and said Nope to the war, Original Character(s), OC point-of-view for one chapter for plot reasons)

In My Defence, I Have None (For Never Leaving Well Enough Alone) by SemiLocalCryptid (T, 73k, WangXian, WIP, Time Travel Fix-It, Established Relationship, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, POV NHS, but only for the first chapter, POV Alternating, between Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi for the rest, WWX may have no sense of self preservation but he does have a husband, No one touches LWJ’s husband, NHS has no more fucks to give and will save his brother just watch him, WN is very confused about needing to breathe again, but is ultimately happy about it, BAMF WN, WN needs a hug, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, WQ is a queen and everyone should fear her, Fluff, Inventor WWX, Gratuitous amounts of Wangxian fluff)

🧡 One Can Keep A Secret (If He Does Not Know It’s There) by H_Belle (T, 5k, WangXian, Modern Cultivators, Inventor WWX, Secret Identity, Identity Reveal, YLLZ WWX, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Pining LWJ, POV WWX, Background Wangxian Getting Together, Jiangs are only mentioned in the passing, inspired by a tumblr post)

🧡🔒Truth Will Out (when caught on video) - End_OTW_Racism! by KizuKatana (E, 178k, WangXian, WN & WWX & WQ, graphic depictions of violence, modern cultivation, canon divergence, YZY abuses WWX , caught on camera, partial core removal, WWX kicked out of Jiang sect, livestreamer WWX, meet ugly, dual cultivation, smut, no war)

There's An App For Everything by Sweetlittlevampire (G, 4k, WangXian, Modern Cultivation, Rivals to Lovers, Friends To Lovers, Competition, Demon fighting, Getting Together, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Night Hunts, Wangxian x Caves is the real ship here, Happy Ending, puns, Humour)

~*~

17. Hi! 🤗

This is for the ITMF. Lately I've been looking for some good time travel fix it fics.

A) WWX, LWJ or both traveling together to the past.

B) The juniors travel to the past and fix everything. (WWX protecting squad would be awesome!).

Long fics would be appreciated. Happy Endings, please.

Thanks for everything! 🥰💕 @wangxiansgirl

17A)

A Matter of Time series by mrcformoso (E, 70 k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, POV LWJ, POV JC, Dark LWJ, Manipulation, Grooming, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Consensual Underage Sex, Except problematic please read warning in first chapter, Blood and Violence, Insane LWJ, Manic LWJ, Conditioning, WWX is a Lán, Minor Character Death, Confused JC, Golden Core Reveal, Good Friend NHS, WWX Isn’t Adopted by the Jiāngs, Abusive Jiāng Family, Jiāng Family Bashing, Jiāng Family Critical, POV NHS, Dark NHS, Anal Sex, Marathon Sex, Dual Cultivation, Qīnghéng-jūn Lives, LWJ Has a Big Dick, WWX Self-Lubricates, Plot Twists, Porn With Plot, Scheming NHS, Manipulative NHS, BAMF LWJ, BAMF WWX) Dark!LWJ travels into the past

A Narrow Bridge by FrameofMind, Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle) (E, 700k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Slow Burn, Getting Together, First Time, Pining while fucking, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Angst with a Happy Ending, CQL Verse, almost everybody lives/almost nobody dies, epistolary-ish, canon-ish side pairings, radishes) Is 700,193 words long enough? ;)

Ad Oblivione by Baph, HikariNoHimeWriter (M, 70k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Multiple, Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Identity Reveal, Golden Core Reveal, Cultivation World Critical, Not JC Friendly, Abusive YZY, Angst with a Happy Ending)

Regrets by antebunny (G, 38k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Time Travel, Fix-It, Temporary Character Death, Explicit Descriptions of Love, and other squishy feelings, Angst with a Happy Ending) Both WWX & LWJ time travel in this one

Here With Me ‘verse Series by iamwish (T/G, 80k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, wwx turns this into a no war!au, Canon-Typical Violence, Period-Typical Homophobia, Bad Parent YZY, POV WWX, POV LWJ, POV JC, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, WWX Has PTSD, and also depression sometimes, Unreliable Narrator, Character Death, Blood and Gore, BAMF WWX, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, there’s some elements of, Grief/Mourning, Character Study, POV JYL, Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death)

Family by Quiet_crash (G, 57k, WangXian, JC & WWX & JYL, LXC & WWX, JYL & LWJ, Time Travel Fix-It, Grief/Mourning, Loss of Parent(s), Established Relationship)

The Wild Geese’s Tomb by The Feels Whale (miscellea) (T, 66k, WangXian, Time Travel AU, fixit, Temporary Character Death, all women live no women die, LWJ’s canonically intense feelings about everything all the time, WWX’s clinical depression gets treated and blamed on resentful energy, navigating gay marriage in ancient china by utiliizing class snobbery for your own ends, if you’re not sure whose fault anything going on in here is then blaming NHS is probably a good bet, WWX plays ‘summon LWJ’ it’s super effective!, the ‘unexploded cow’ approach to dealing with your enemies)

Time and Time Again by Jammingjackelopes (M, 115k, WangXian, WIP, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Husbands, Established Relationship, Temporary Character Death, BAMF LWJ, Consensual Kink, Domestic Fluff)

17B)

Time, Time, Time by skeletonofaplant (G, 44k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, LSZ & WWX, JYL & JL & JZX, LJY & LSZ, Time Travel Fix-It, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Identity Porn, Identity Reveal, Angst, Fluff, Junior Quartet Dynamics, Time Travelling Junior Ensemble, Junior Ensemble Shenanigans, Humor)

❤️ Tragedy is Not the End by Hobbsy3 (T, 358k, wangxian, Time Travel, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Golden Core Reveal, Canon Divergence from Qiongqi Pass, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Yunmeng sibling bonding, good dad wwx, good dad lwj, JZX Lives, JYL Lives, Junior Quartet Dynamics)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic recs #i'm in the mood for a fic #the untamed #wangxian fic search #wangxianficfinder #long post

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sundrop-writes · 11 months ago

Text

Your First Kiss With Jason Todd

Jason Todd x Gender Neutral Reader

Summary:

Jason always thought he hated you. He did hate you.

Until he didn't.

Until his love for you ruined him in ways he couldn't even imagine.

Jason Todd x Gender Neutral Reader. Frenemies to Lovers. Pure Angst (Hurt, No Comfort). Set during Season 3.

Word Count: 8,200

DC Titans Masterlist | AO3 Link

Detailed warnings and author's notes below the cut.

Warnings: This fic is almost entirely angst - hurt, no comfort. This fic does not have a happy ending!!! So be warned of that before you enter here. Jason and the reader are described as ‘hating’ each other, but they are more like frenemies/annoyances - they have a playful banter (at the time, even they don’t know that they like arguing because it’s sexual tension and passion for each other); the reader is completely gender neutral - the only pronouns used for the reader are you/yours; this is mostly written from Jason’s POV (which is where most of the angst comes from); Jason describes himself as a ‘zombie’ or ‘half-alive’ - but he is fully alive and has all of his mental faculties, he is just freaked out about the fact that he was resurrected; the reader does not have any meta powers, but is described as being very good at combat (this does not denote the reader’s body type); mentions of sex and some sexual themes - but there is no outright smut and no detailed descriptions of sex; mentions of negative stereotypes surrounding frat boys/frat houses - including STDs and group sex (mentioned in a negative light); mentions of Jason masturbating (and thinking about the reader while doing it); mentions of Jason’s canon trauma (being kidnapped and tortured by Deathstroke, dropped off the building); mentions of Jason being killed by the Joker (and being ressurected by Crane); mentions of the reader mourning Jason’s death; mentions of drugs and drug addiction (based around the canon storyline of the anti-fear gas); mentions of Jason’s trauma surround his mother’s drug addiction; mentions of Jason killing Hank (as in the canon); the reader is kidnapped (by Crane or someone who works for Crane) and held hostage, and later rescued by Jason; somewhat graphic descriptions of violence (Jason beating up Crane, other background instances), gory descriptions of a death toward the end (mentions of acid burns and choking on non-breathable air); major character death - the reader character does die. Like I said - no happy ending. Sorry not sorry.

A/N: This is set during Season 3 - and this does feature spoilers for Season 3 if you haven't seen Titans before. So if you wanna watch the show spoiler free, definitely avoid this fic. I was imagining this to be set around episode 6 or episode 7, before Crane's plan to use the ice cream factory is taken down by the Titans, but obviously Jason breaking away from Crane's control so early goes against the canon - so there's that. Also, if you wanna pair some music with this for something truly heartbreaking, I would highly recommend the classic Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush, or the highly underrated Colorado Sunrise by 3OH!3 (the lyrics are way more depressing than people realize, and I love it as a whump song. oomf). I also feel like the song Cloud 9 by Beach Bunny would go so well with this fic, but in like - the most devastating way. I haven't written something this cruel since I wrote Ghosting and I had so much fun doing it. You can't leave me alone with whump for too long, I turn into a monster. I need to go back to smut again quickly lmao.

...

Jason Todd was in love with you.

It was something that he hated himself for. Actually, it was one of the most infuriating, devastating facts in the world. But it was true. You were someone who was so entirely amazing. You were beautiful - literally the hottest person Jason had ever met who wasn’t photoshopped or catered to be some unrealistic daydream. You were clever and smart and strong. You could kick anybody’s ass on any day of the week and still have enough energy left to tell them how much of an idiot they were and list all of the reasons why.

And you would definitely never love Jason back. There wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that he could ever have someone like you.

So he kept all of that stupid, idiotic love to himself. It was a secret that he had sworn to die with - and technically, he already had.

Jason tried not to linger on the very fucked up, seemingly impossible fact that he had come back from the dead. And now he was existing as some weird, fucked up zombie thing - resurrected from having his skull caved in by the Joker to do Jonathan Crane’s bidding. This definitely wasn’t what Jason would have wanted out of a renewed life - but hey: when an Arkham prisoner gives you rotten lemons.

When Jason wasn’t beating down drug dealers, stealing money, or strapping bombs to people - when he was trying his hardest not to focus on the fact that he had died and he was now living some strange half-life, reliant on Crane’s drugs, he was thinking about you. He thought about you a lot.

He hadn’t come into contact with you since his strange foray back into the land of the living. That was probably for the best. He knew that you had freshly come back to Gotham, upon Dick’s request. Nightwing had called for backup from all the ex-Titans to help end Red Hood’s reign of terror. Jason wanted to stay as far away from you as possible.

Genuinely, he didn’t want you getting caught in the crossfire of whatever Crane was planning. He wished you had stayed out of Gotham, but he knew that you were too loyal, too good not to come to the aid of the Titans when they needed you. He couldn’t reveal himself to you just for a taste of nostalgia - one last argument before you sold him down the river for good. But fuck - he thought about you a lot.

When the two of you had first met, you were the last person he ever thought that he would surrender that stupid, soft label of love to. Even months into first knowing you - he would have said that he hated you. He would have told anybody that he found you to be the most annoying person on earth.

Your relationship used to be the worst kind of dance.

Every single time that Jason opened his mouth, you said something to contradict him. To a point, he believed that you didn’t even fully stand behind the things you said - you just enjoyed arguing against him. That you did it for sport. You used every single last bit of your time and energy to get under his skin. From mocking him to calling him a fuckboy to prodding at his grammar, poking holes in his points by smugly correcting him. He always found you to be the most infuriating person in any room. But it seemed that the more frustrated he got with you, the more cool headed you remained.

He tried to mock you back, and you shrugged it off. Every time he became visibly annoyed in your presence - you giggled. He wanted to strangle you.

And it was one fated day that he realized the line between heat fueled by frustration and heat fueled by lust truly weren’t that different.

…

“Jason! I thought I smelled you coming down the hall!”

Jason groaned when he heard you make this comment.

He thought that for once, he could have some peace to train alone - but it appeared that he would have no such luck. You were already in the training room, holding a long bo-staff as you ran some drills. Apparently, you were eager to exercise your mouth too - already whipping off clever insults the minute that Jason entered the room.

When all he could muster was a glare in your direction, you let out a giggle. His blood boiled.

“Between that god awful Axe body wash and that alcohol based aftershave that you like to drown yourself in, you smell like a walking frat house.” You continued, blabbering on even though Jason had made no efforts to engage you. At least not yet. “Just throw in some Busch Light and weed, and I might be able to catch gonorrhea just from the stench.”

That was the nerve that hooked Jason into the conversation. First of all - he smelled fucking delightful. He always made hygiene one of his personal priorities. He was absolutely not one of those guys with crusty, sweaty balls. And second of all - he was not one of those STD spreading manwhores. He was clean in all senses. He always used a condom.

“Sounds like you’ve got experience with that.” Jason quipped back.

He looked to you for some kind of reaction, some inkling that he had gotten under your skin even a fraction of the way that you did his. His movements were rough with annoyance as he began wrapping his knuckles with tape so he could have a few rounds with the heavy bag - mostly out of a need to pound out his frustration on something. He was getting too angered with your presence in the room and not wanting to snap and take it out on you. (He already had enough on his record with Bruce, and despite popular opinion - he was trying to improve.)

When you weren’t quick to respond, Jason continued.

“You used to letting frat boys all over you? You seem like the type of person who would enjoy a good, sloppy frat house train. Twenty guys, one after the other, none of them knowing your name, just because you’re so needy for a good fuck.”

Jason grinned, feeling like he had won this conversation with the essence of shock alone.

But no. As always, you remained cool. You grinned right back at him, stepping toward him, crowding into his personal space as you said your next words in a low, smooth voice.

“Sounds like you spend an awful lot of time picturing me running a train.” You smirked. “Is that why you’re always so late getting up in the morning? You wake up and the first thing you do is get a hand on your dick, imagining me getting fucked by a lineup of guys? Probably just wishing that one of them was you.”

Jason’s face fell flat.

You were so strikingly confident in your words that it made his stomach twist. Facing him down, speaking such filthy words without flinching - embarrassment and heat collided inside of him. Even more so with what you did next.

You put a hand out in front of your crotch, mimicking the motions of jacking off while you mocked him in a broken voice.

“Oh, oh fuck Y/N! Come on! Take my sloppy, frat house cock!”

You then mocked a whiny series of moans that must have been Jason’s fake orgasm - and while Jason’s insides bubbled with a confusing heat, you quickly dissolved off into laughter.

“Shut up.” Jason snapped, forcing his eyes down to focus on the process of taping himself up - praying that you wouldn’t see the heat that had spread across his cheeks. “You’re the fucking worst.”

“Only when I’m with you.” You replied, blowing him a kiss - to which he stuck his middle finger up at you.

He was eternally thankful when you went back to your own training in silence, only taking occasional glances up in his direction.

…

After that point, Jason had to admit to himself that he was attracted to you, at the very least. He could no longer deny that you were insanely attractive; you were a very, very hot person. And somehow, even past your annoying habits, he was being drawn into the orbit of your gorgeous looks and your wonderfully cocky, filthy mouth.

But he still hated you. He definitely still hated you.

He hated it even more when you became right - and you did become the object of some of his more heated fantasies. He became downright annoyed at the times he had his hand around his cock and imagined himself hate fucking you - imagined forcing every cocky retort out of your mouth, imagining you breathless and needy beneath him, begging for more with every hard push of his hips.

He hated how everything changed after Doctor Light.

Jason wasn’t thinking about your stupid beautiful cocky mouth after that. His mind was full of glass and he was being shredded from the inside out. He came home broken. After everything that happened with Deathstroke and Doctor Light - he was some fragile bird; some chewed up, used, pitiful thing. He didn’t have the energy to fight you anymore, not even for sport.

So after he was rescued, still floating in numbness, he didn’t know what to do when you burst into his room unannounced. You practically shoved the door off its hinges, and stormed across the room toward him - tears hot in your eyes. You pounded curled fists against his chest, screaming at the top of your lungs. Half of your words were static in his ears, but the tone of your voice pierced through his heart like an arrow. You called him stupid, asking where in his empty head he had gotten the idea to go off by himself.

Jason didn’t have it in him to fight you. So he broke down.

He felt like the world’s biggest idiot for crying in front of you. But his throat was tight and he choked on the tears - he was too tired. He just couldn’t hold them back. He screamed back, and asked you to lay off. To get off his fucking back.

You looked shocked. Like you had swallowed a piece of glass.

You surprised him when you uncurled your fists and wrapped the most tender, gentle hands around his back, and for the first time since he had known you - you embraced him in a hug. He was weak and he needed it more than he was willing to admit, so he let you. He sobbed against your neck, his own cries too loud that he missed the timid sound of your apology.

That wasn’t the only time you surprised him that week.

He knew it was because he was some broken little bird, but you started taking care of him. You brought him plates of food without being asked, and when he attempted to shove them away - you refused. You told him to eat before you had to ‘shove it down his fucking throat’.

You didn’t mock him. You didn’t correct him. And you surprised him even more when you turned the sharpness of your tongue on the others when they tried attacking Jason. They accused him of planting booze in Hank’s room or drawing crosses on Rachel’s mirror to fuck with her, among other things. And you popped veins in your neck going on a winding rant about how stupid and baseless their accusations were.

Jason wasn’t sure if you knew it, but you jumping to his defense wrapped him in a blanket of protection that he had never before felt. It was so entirely strange, but welcomed coming from you. Especially because he knew that it was genuine. He knew that you didn’t have any ulterior motives for doing this - for some reason, you just wanted to help him.

When you extended an invitation toward him to come with you as the group dispersed, torn apart by Dick’s nasty, festering secret - Jason felt welcomed by you. He knew that the dynamic between the two of you was changing at a breakneck speed, and he had to embrace it. He found himself eager to follow the weird, newly developing kinship that he had with you rather than wanting to stay in the empty coldness of the Tower with a brooding Dick.

From there, it was really difficult for Jason to pin down the exact moment that his feelings transitioned toward you from casual lust to something more. He couldn’t tell exactly when it turned into that panic-inducing, ‘oh my god, I’m fucked’ feeling of being in love. After leaving San Francisco, during the entirety of the time that the two of you were in Gotham together, your relationship remained completely platonic.

It was a few short weeks spent kicking ass as the best vigilante duo the city had ever seen, but there wasn’t a single moment Jason could point to where the two of you lit up with that romantic spark. It wasn’t some romcom bullshit come to life. It was just the two of you being friendly for once. The two of you helping each other survive.

Back then - Jason wanted you, badly. Even if he didn��t know just how badly, he wasn’t going to fuck up the whole dynamic just to get laid. He felt safe with you. He kicked ass with you. He was good with you. And during that short time - he was happy. So he wasn’t going to do anything to risk that happiness. Happiness was too rare for him. So why the hell would he try putting the moves on you, scare you away, and fuck it all up?

…

A little slice of that happiness came in the form of Hal’s Diner. It was a place in downtown Gotham, open twenty four hours, and you and Jason had gotten into the habit of stopping there after your patrols.

The two of you would kick some ass - break the legs of some drug dealers, make sure that women got home safe if they were walking late at night, keep the streets a little safer. And then you would change out of your patrol outfits and head to the diner, just as the sun was rising over the scummy streets of Gotham. You would get breakfast and Jason would get dinner. He would steal one of your eggs and you would take half his burger, and you would always comment about him putting way too much ketchup on his plate.

It was harmony.

“You know, every time I see you make a grown man cry, it brings me such intense joy.” Jason grinned as he said this, reminiscing about a beautiful moment from earlier in the night.

He spoke about it in the same manner that someone might reminisce about seeing a relative or a cute puppy. But this was natural for the two of you - since you had taken up vigilantism as a duo, violence was a sweet art for the two of you.

“Well, if he would have left that girl alone the first time I asked, I wouldn’t have broken his arm.” You shrugged, speaking very casually about it yourself.

You then picked a piece of bacon up off your plate and took a bite, grinning at Jason fondly. You did appreciate it when he complimented your skills.

Jason chuckled.

“You know, it is nice to see you using your powers for good instead of evil.” He commented.

“My powers?” You parroted back, your mouth half busy with chewing, your words slightly muffled.

You didn’t have any metahuman powers, so this comment did leave you slightly confused.

“Yeah.” He nodded, entirely confident in the statement he had to follow. “Your endless amount of energy to harass people and be endlessly annoying. The powers you used to spend all your time using on me.”

“You used to deserve it.” You were quick with your tongue as usual, not missing a beat with this statement.

Jason’s only rebuttal was to pick up a french fry - one not doused in ketchup - and throw it at your head. You flinched slightly when it bounced off your forehead - but when it landed in your lap, you easily picked it up and put it in your mouth, not thinking twice about doing so as you tossed Jason a wicked grin.

That. That must have been the moment.

That was the moment he realized that he was truly in love with you. You grinning at him from across the table, your smile lighting up your whole face, playing around with him like he actually made you happy. Like he could spend the rest of his life making you happy.

That’s why it hurt so much more when your phone buzzed on the table a few minutes later. When you told him that it was the Titans - Gar in trouble. That’s why it hurt so fucking much when you left.

Jason knew, in hindsight, that he should have gone with you. But he flailed like a rabbit caught in a snare, and rather than just agreeing with you, he felt the trap tightening around him, and he opted to chew off his own foot rather than simply letting you help him free.

He stupidly argued that it was some test from Dick. That the Titans could deal with their own problems. Jason knew that deep down, he was still tender from everything that had happened - Dick dropping him, even by accident. The accusations, the secrets. The rejection. He felt like he was laying down a line - he was letting you make a choice.

Him or the Titans.

But it shouldn’t have been a choice. It was Gar. Jason should have stood by his friend. He should have gone with you.

Deep down, Jason feared that if he did go with you - the Titans wouldn’t want him back. He feared another cutting rejection. They would simply bench him again, they wouldn’t even need him to help save Gar. They wouldn’t want him to help. He was useless, after all. He was careless and stupid. That was why he needed you to choose him. To stay.

That was what his mind was screaming out as you looked at him, disappointment flooding your eyes as you questioned him about Gar, about going back to the Titans.

Stay. He silently begged. Pick me.

And watching you snatch up your jacket in a huff and get up from the table, your food barely touched - his eyes boring into your back as you retreated - it was like having his heart carved out of his chest. And because he was so fucked up, he just sat there. He couldn’t bring himself to do anything about it. He didn’t chase you.

He let you go.

Having you suddenly disappear from his life was like missing a limb. Jason was constantly aching around your non-presence, constantly missing you. He felt torn up from the inside out, wondering if his frayed nerve endings would ever heal themselves. When he went to Donna’s funeral, he stared at you from across the tarmac - telling himself that if you even so much as glanced in his direction, he would cross that sickly one hundred foot black sea and talk to you. He would make the leap and apologize.

But you were fettered and stubborn and you kept your head straight. You knew it was the ultimate punishment not to acknowledge him. So the moment that the plane took off, Jason shoved on his helmet and sped off on his bike.

He easily became numb after that.

He went back to Bruce - to lay low and lick his wounds, or because it was the only place he knew, he wasn’t sure. He tried to be a Robin that wasn’t with you. It didn’t work. He felt more broken than ever. It was cheesy, pathetic bullshit - but he talked about you in therapy. Leslie encouraged him to reach out to you, but every time Jason’s fingers hovered over your contact in his phone, his hands shook, and all he remembered was the look of pure scorn you had given him before you snatched up your things and left the diner that day.

He thought of you as he suited up to go after the Joker. He considered how easy it would be for the two of you to take down the stupid clown together - how flawlessly the two of you worked as a team.

Jason thought of you as he drew his last breath, soaked in blood and struggling past the world-ending pain. He wondered, in a haze, if you were warm in your bed in The Tower while he was pressed into the cold ground, taunted by the laughter that rung in his ears.

…

Jason didn’t know how hard you cried for him when you heard the news of his death.

You wouldn’t have dared to say that the hole in the middle of your chest was caused by love - caused by the heartbreak of a lover being stolen. But you certainly felt robbed when you heard that the Joker had killed him. You seethed and you heavily considered marching toward Gotham to seek revenge.

You knew that Dick was angry with Bruce for finally giving in to what the Joker wanted and killing him. For finally ending their sick, twisted game. But when you found out - you were glad that the clown was dead. You wrapped one of Jason’s stolen shirts around your pillow, and you slept a bit easier at night.

…

Jason knew that he should have left town.

Crane claimed that Red Hood was going to be the next Batman - that he was going to be something the Bat never could. That he was going to actually keep the streets safe. But so far, all Jason had done was steal, kill, terrorize, torture. Crane spoke of omelets and breaking eggs - pigs and bacon, and ‘marketing’ himself to the public. But truly, it never made any real sense to Jason.

Jason knew that now, he was the type of man lurking in the night whose arm you would have broken if he was lingering too closely to the vulnerable. And you would have been right for doing so.

Jason was tired. He felt lost - directionless. He was getting tired of Crane’s bullshit. He missed you. But he knew that he couldn’t just go running back to you. You likely wouldn’t have accepted him back into your life if he did.

When Crane called him in that night, wanting to discuss ‘the game plan’ - Jason was worn. His patience for all of it was already wearing thin, and what happened next - it truly caused him to snap.

Jason showed up in full gear, wearing the costume of an alias he no longer believed in; foolishly dressed up as someone he had truly begun to resent. He was holding his helmet in hand, his heavy boots clunking on the floor as he dodged around Crane’s egghead lackeys - a random group of people who were working to convert the anti-fear gas into a larger batch. He knew that they were aiming to get more and more people in the city hooked; if Jason hadn’t abandoned his morals in this new life, he might have cared more about the consequences.

Instead, he made a B-line for Crane, who was typing away at something on the computer.

“Jason, my boy!” Crane grinned at him, giving a false, performative grin over his shoulder. “Lovely evening, isn’t it?”

“What do you want?” Jason asked, his tone flat.

He was far too tired of Crane to engage in more word play or stupid riddles.

“Never one for pleasantries, are you?” Crane chuckled.

Jason didn’t offer him a reply - seemingly confirming his theory with this simple act.

Truthfully, he wasn’t. He wasn’t feeling very pleasant today. He hadn’t felt very pleasant any day since he had been so rudely pulled from the morgue and zombified to do someone else’s bidding against his will. Being an undead puppet didn’t really make a person all that pleasant.

Crane reached into the pocket of his oddly quaint grandpa sweater and pulled something out - a small glass vial, containing some clear liquid. It looked harmless - like water. But Jason knew Crane, and he knew that whatever it was must have been entirely dangerous if Crane was carrying around such a small dose of it.

“Do you know what this is?” He asked, giving the vial a small shake, jostling the liquid inside to emphasize his point.

Jason hesitated before he shook his head in the negative. He hated to appear clueless and stupid around such an intelligent man, but he didn’t want to guess and be wrong. He knew that being misinformed around Crane was dangerous. But being cocky and pretending to know more than Crane was even more dangerous.

“This is a very highly concentrated form of liquid Methadone.” Crane explained. “It’s a highly addictive substance. And I think it’s going to give the mass market version of your formula that little extra kick that it needs, ya know? Keep the people coming back for more!”

He let out a bright chuckle, as though he was talking about a cleaning product that was marketed on an infomercial or some kind of great recipe for soup. That was one of the things that scared Jason the most about Crane - his ability to talk about life changing, deadly things with such jarring enthusiasm. He truly thought of bringing people their worst nightmares and their most painful deaths as ‘beautiful work’.

“What about it?” Jason prodded quietly.

He knew that Crane hadn’t called him here just to brag about a new idea to add something to the formula. He needed Jason for something.

Jason just hoped that he wasn’t looking to use him as a guinea pig again. He would likely rather die again than go down the path of heavy drugs. One thing he had vowed - he wouldn’t end up like his mother.

“Well, you see, my boy, that’s where you come in.” Crane grinned at him. “Due to its highly addictive qualities, Methadone is also a highly regulated substance. But because I am the wonderfully well-connected man that I am, I happen to know that there is a very large stash of it just sitting there, ripe for the taking, in this quaint little building uptown.”

Jason’s gut stirred with suspicion.

“Where uptown?” He asked.

“Well, it’s just-” Crane stuttered, and then sighed, deciding to get it out and over with. “The Wayne Memorial Cancer Research Facility.”

Jason glared at him.

“But see, it’s fine! Because I happen to know someone who knows their way around the Wayne Tech security systems very well. So Red Hood breaks in there, gets me my-”

“No.” Jason said flatly, before he turned and started to walk away. “Find somebody else. We’re done.”

Crane had threatened to replace him before. Crane had no-so-subtly threatened to kill him alongside being replaced. Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe Jason would be better off dead. Maybe Crane would find out that Jason was irreplaceable after all. Maybe Jason was a dirty, seedy criminal shaped by life for only one thing: ruining the lives of others. If Jason couldn’t do that, he wasn’t sure what he would do.

But he wasn’t going to fucking do this.

Killing was one thing. Stealing from drug dealers and mobsters was another. What he had done to Hank had crossed too many lines - but it didn’t even begin to approach the lines that this crossed.

Stealing from a facility that Thomas and Martha had set up when Bruce was just a child, shitting all over their legacy, using skills that Bruce had taught him in order to do it? That was too far. Jason couldn’t say that he had morals anymore, but he still had that voice of common decency in the back of his head yelling at him to stop it. Maybe it was your voice, correcting him at every turn the way you used to.

He should listen to that voice.

He should leave town.

“Hold on, hold on there, Jaybird!” Crane called after him.

The pure annoyance that the nickname caused was the only thing that stopped Jason. He considered turning around and shooting Crane just to shut him up.

“See, I think you forget how this works.” The man went off again - talking in that humming tone he always used that made Jason’s ears numb, made his brain switch off. “Every loyal dog gets a treat. A little motivation to get that Pavlovian mind barking in the right direction.”

Jason turned back around then.

“Nothing you say ever makes any fucking sense.” He barked out, ready to leave Crane with these as his last remarks before he left Gotham forever.

But then Crane tapped at a few things on his keyboard and pulled something up on the monitor - a dark, grainy video feed that had Jason squinting his eyes and walking closer to get a better look.

When Jason was able to truly take in the scene - his stomach dropped.

It was you.

You were sitting alone in some anonymous, concrete warehouse - probably in the industrial district of Gotham, if Jason had to guess. Crane didn’t like to keep his insurance policies too far away, he liked to play it close to the vest. You were tied to a chair, duct tape tight over your mouth, very much there against your will. You were looking straight ahead, with the camera angled down from the top corner of the room. Even through the grainy, black and white footage, Jason could see the wetness of tears streaking down your face.

You were terrified.

Jason’s helmet clattered to the floor, slipping from his grip as the shock overtook his system.

For the first time in weeks, fighting through the numbness of the drugs and the hazy shock of his new half-life - he was terrified too. Then he was angry. Rage bubbled up inside of him like a sharp, acidic bile.

“What the fuck have you done?” Jason growled out, the anger setting his jaw so tight that the words could barely escape between his teeth.

“I told you - every loyal dog gets a treat.” Crane said, a barely contained glee filtering through his voice as he peered over Jason’s shoulder at your weeping face on the screen.

He clapped a large hand on Jason’s shoulder, and Jason felt himself nearly choke on his own tongue - so swollen with anger that it barely fit in his mouth.

“So, go fetch, doggie.” Crane continued. “Go get me what I need. Otherwise, that sweet little treat of yours is gonna play dead.”

Crane leaned over and whispered those last words into Jason’s ear - and that was what truly caused him to snap.

In a flash, Jason grabbed the hand that was on his shoulder, whipped Crane around - there was a loud crack as Jason broke Crane’s arm. The egghead types who were working on the formula all paused; some of them gasped or hid behind things, but none of them were brave enough to intervene. Jason shoved Crane’s face into the monitor, cracking it out like a spider’s web but never fully obscuring the image of that dark, cold warehouse - the place where you were alone and terrified.

He twisted Crane’s broken arm, making a sound like glass grinding in on itself, and the man let out a howl.

“I think you forget how this works.” Jason barked at him, his voice so dark with rage that it almost sounded like he was wearing Red Hood’s voice modulator even though his helmet was on the floor at Crane’s feet. “When dogs get pissed off - they bite.”

He twisted the injury again, and Crane let out another bitter howl.

Jason demanded to know where you were, and Crane squeaked out an address. It was in the industrial district, so it checked out in Jason’s mind. It didn’t seem like a trap or a false answer to waste his time.

Jason shoved the pathetic, useless man to the ground, kicked him in the gut for good measure, and then leaned down to grab his helmet before shoving it on. He would need it in case Crane had anybody stationed there, guarding you.

Crane shouted something at him as he walked away, but Jason was barely paying attention - now very singular minded on his mission toward you.

“You have to learn to play by the rules, Red!” Crane choked out. “You won’t like how this ends! I made you! I fucking made you!”

…

Jason was surprised to find the building empty. No guards, seemingly no bombs, no gas canisters. At first, he thought it really was a trick, a misdirect to waste his time. But when he had just about given up hope of finding you, searching one of the back most rooms that used to serve as overflow storage for Ace Chemicals - he found you. Concrete and anonymous, some of the beams having eroded away in places from improper chemical storage.

When you saw him stalking toward you - his gun drawn, heavy boots thudding against the floor, modulator puffing out heavy, mechanical breaths - you let out a terrified whimper past the duct tape and more tears flowed freely down your face.

Jason felt a twinge of guilt. Of course. You had no clue it was him.

Perhaps he could get away with the mercy of never revealing himself to you. He could keep his mask on, release you, drop you back off with the Titans and then leave town. But eventually, Dick would tell you who he was.

At the very least, he could give you the comfort of seeing a familiar face after the hell you had been through. You were wearing a sweatshirt and simple cotton pants, and running shoes - it looked like you had been plucked off the street during a jogging session. He could only imagine how much Crane’s lackeys had scared you.

Once he was confident that the area was secure, he holstered his gun and then reached up, removing the face mask from his helmet and tossing it aside.

“Hey, hey, it’s me.” He told you - attempting to be gentle and soothing in his voice.

He approached you slowly, not wanting you to be scared as he reached to his belt for a knife - only with the intention to cut the ropes around your torso, wrists, and ankles.

He watched your expression as you flashed through a range of emotions - deep confusion, a bit of relief, sadness, and then strangely - burning anger. You glared at him with the most intense rage he had ever seen from you - more intense even than the day you had stormed into his room and called him stupid and suicidal for going after Doctor Light without backup.

Jason was slightly afraid of the lecture that would come next, but nonetheless, he knelt beside you and began cutting you free.

The minute that one of your hands was free, you reached up and ripped the duct tape off your mouth. You took only a fraction of a second to wince in pain from the tender skin of your lips being disturbed before you began verbally tearing into him.

“Jason Todd!” You screamed at the top of your lungs, so loudly that Jason was sure some of the edges of the corroded concrete pebbled off and fell down just from this. “Jason fucking Todd! I should have known you had something to do with this!”

“Wh-?”

Before Jason could question your odd choice of words or even recognize it as an accusation, you raised your other freshly free hand and slapped him squarely across the cheek - it was a hard, skull-shaking clatter. It had Jason dizzy, falling back onto his ass and dropping the knife before he could finish cutting the ropes around your legs.

“Fucking ow!” Jason griped, reaching up to grab his now very red cheek.

“You are such an asshole! Of all the completely idiotic, stupid things you have ever done-”

“I didn’t fucking kidnap you! Okay? I didn’t do shit!” Jason quickly argued back, finally now realizing that you thought he had put you here in the first place. “I’m here to rescue you!” He said each of these words slowly, looking you in the eyes, hoping that his point would get across more firmly this way.

There was a tense moment as you stared back at him with your jaw locked. It was likely that if your feet hadn’t still been tied, you would have run away - or kicked him. Jason was thankful that you couldn’t do either at the moment.

“Why?” You asked, finally breaking the tension.

“What?” Jason gaped.

This was the last thing he had been expecting.

He was saving you - why were you questioning him?

“Why are you ‘rescuing’ me?” You asked, taunting his phrasing of it with a mocking tone and large air quotes. He now regretted freeing your hands. “So you can bargain me off to Dick for ransom money? So you can put a bomb in my chest?”

You said the last part with intense disdain, tears dancing in your eyes.

So you did know what a monster he was.

He was surprised that you hadn’t hit him harder.

Jason heaved a sigh. He reached over and picked up the knife, very slowly, very tentatively resuming cutting the ropes on your legs to free you.

“I’m just freeing you so that you can be free. That’s it.” He said quietly, defeat lacing through every inch of his voice. “You don’t deserve this.”

He cut the last rope and folded the knife, sticking it back in his belt. He stood up then and caught a glimpse of your face - you were wearing the most complex expression he had ever seen. Perhaps confusion, perhaps anger. Maybe somewhere deep in your eyes - hurt.

He turned and moved to leave, hoping you would simply follow him out of the confusing maze of the building and he wouldn’t have to drag you out kicking and screaming.

“That’s not an answer.” You told him, your tone sharp and certain - the same tone you always used to correct him.

Jason whipped back around then, heaving a sigh as he looked at you - standing in the middle of the room now, arms folded over your chest, glaring at him on the spot. Cocky and so sure about yourself. Too damn certain and immobile in your points. Infuriating.

“Why the fuck do you have to make everything so damn complicated?” Jason shot back, annoyance and dread tight in every inch of him. “Why do you have to interrogate me about every damn thing that I do?”

“Because you make stupid ass decisions when I don’t.” You easily fired back. “Now tell me: why are you doing this?”

“Because I wanted to.” Jason huffed.

“Why?” You prodded again.

He let out another hot huff, and you didn’t let it go.

“Come on Jason!” You shouted, increasing in volume as you became more frustrated with his lack of an answer. “You didn’t just develop a conscience all of a sudden! Why did you feel the need to suddenly drop everything and come to my rescue? What makes me different than Hank? What makes me different than-?”

It was the annoyance grinding on him. It was a combination of your nagging voice, the lack of drugs in his system for the first time in weeks. The rawness of the world ragging on his last good nerve. The sound of your voice putting him in line - exactly where he was supposed to be. The way you reminded him of the truth now more than ever.

“Because I’m in love with you!” Jason shouted.

It was almost… angry. It was a declaration that hit you like a whip - more like an insult than something warm and kind. It wasn’t made of sweetness, like some moment from a film with a gentle piano riff wrapped around it. It was real - made of the haunting kind of passion that kept Jason awake at night.

Your eyes widened. Jason’s breathing stilled as he waited for you to react - to say something.

“Oh.” Your voice cracked around this syllable, and your eyes danced with more tears.

Jason felt his own heart crack apart inside of his chest, more terror flooding him.

He had died with the secret because he had never wanted to live up to the embarrassing vulnerability of confessing it. In the deepest part of his mind, he had lived this horror a thousand times. Him finally creeping out onto the edge of oblivion - speaking those words. Confessing. And then you stabbing him in the heart, rejecting him.

The reality of it ripped through him so much harder than it ever had in his nightmares.

Any last tiny piece of his soul that had survived being murdered by the Joker had just been shattered by you.

“Yeah. Fucking oh.” Jason echoed back, his own tears clutching at his throat.

Seeing him with that naked vulnerability dancing behind his eyes - it reminded you of the same person who came back from being kidnapped by Doctor Light. It reminded you of the real Jason you had gotten to know.

In that moment, it all came crashing toward you. You gasped harshly as you could barely breathe around it.

That hole in your chest had been shaped like a lover - it had been shaped like him. Filled with the pain of letting him get hurt, leaving him alone in Gotham to be murdered by the Joker. Filled with the doubt and confusion of never knowing what could have been between the two of you if you had chased those flirtations a little bit farther.

And now, he was standing right here in front of you, somehow perfectly alive and well - and there was only one possible thing you could do.

“Jason.” You gasped out his name, unable to fathom more words.

Before he could move, you reached out and grabbed both sides of his face, one of them still singed with a burning ache where you had slapped him so hard - and you pulled him into a kiss, hard.

It wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t dainty or smooth like some Hollywood love confession - it was hungry. Bordering on feral as you both fought to consume more of the other person, bleeding out little moans and fighting for breath past each other’s lips. Jason’s hands rushed to embrace you, wrapping around your back and grabbing a needy, possessive handful of your ass while you kept your grip tight on his face, keeping his face forcefully close to your own as you devoured his mouth.

You felt some of his tears escape - such a rush of emotions making him raw and unable to hold them back, and you moaned pitifully into his mouth as he wetness slipped underneath your palms. Whatever it was - his pain, his pleasure; you would take it. He was all yours now.

…

Far off, on the other side of Gotham, Crane chuckled quietly to himself as he watched the scene unfold. He had pulled up the camera feed on a separate tablet, seeing as Jason had used his head to crack the monitor. With his broken arm bound in a temporary sling, he used his one good hand to pull something out of a drawer - a remote with a single button.

“For these violent delights have violent ends,” He recited to himself, still grinning widely as he looked at the two lovers in the grainy, black and white footage. “And in their triumph, die like fire and powder. Which as they kiss, consume. Even the sweetest honey is loathsome in his own deliciousness, if the taste confounds the appetite.” Crane poised his finger on the button. “Therefore, love moderately.”

He pressed down, and dissolved into more epic laughter as he watched what came next.

…

You were only human, and you could only kiss Jason for a few minutes before your brain demanded oxygen. As much as you hated to pull away from the sweet, bruising sting of his lips, you forced yourself back and immediately took in a sharp breath that turned into a rolling pant - Jason let out a needy whine in protest.

With his arms holding you so securely and the dizzying heat now flowing through you - you almost didn’t catch it. But it was there, in the background, something steadily present that wasn’t there before.

Beeping. A small, electronic beeping.

“Do you hear that?” You asked Jason, squinting your eyes with confusion and looking around, trying to find the source of the noise.

He did hear it.

“Fuck.” Jason mumbled.

Panic flooded him. The whole thing had been a trap.

He pulled away from you hesitantly and grabbed his mask up off the ground, snapping it back on.

“We have to go. Now.” He told you, his voice now sharp and robotic through the voice filter as he grabbed your wrist and began dragging you away - you became limp to his direction for once and simply followed, fear tight in your gut once again.

Jason didn’t want to consider the possibilities, but he knew it could be anything from a large bomb, meant to tear you to shreds, to a large dose of fear gas waiting to be deployed. And he didn’t have an antidote at the moment. He needed to get you out of the building and transport you to safety.

When the two of you came to a door - one of the many that Jason had passed through on his way in - it snapped shut in Jason’s face. It was on some kind of mechanical locking system, that much was apparent. Jason rushed forward, trying to pry it open - but it was welded steel, and it wouldn’t budge.

Jason heard more slamming - more metal forcing itself shut on the same locking system.

“Jason?” You croaked, that unsure terror back in your voice again. Something so rare for you. You were looking to him for answers. You were looking to him to rescue you.

Overhead, the last bits of light were shut out - glimpses of the street lights outside - as thick metal shudders collapsed down over the windows. The room was sealing itself shut, becoming air tight.

“Stand back.” Jason told you, not waiting to see if you followed the instruction before he pulled out one of his guns and began shooting at the door’s heavy metal hinges. He knew it was futile and he feared that one of the bullets might ricochet off and hit you, but he didn’t have many options left.

Then he heard it. The gentle hissing of gas being released into the air.

Jason was naive to have hoped that it was Crane’s classic Fear Gas - that would have been a merciful walk in the park compared to what he had planned for you. Betraying Jonathan Crane meant that Jason had to be truly punished.

Jason turned to you, wrapping his arms around you, as if trying to shield you from the air itself - but it was too late. You began coughing and struggling to breathe, and Jason looked on with confusion as his chest twisted with guilt.

With his helmet on, he felt nothing. For the first few moments, he didn’t even understand what was going on as you gasped for air, struggling to form a word as you choked on each breath. Jason had no clue what the substance was or how he could fix it, looking on in horror as thick fog clouded around your ankles - your eyes bulging out of your head as you struggled for oxygen.

“Y/N?” Jason gasped, holding you by both shoulders as you became weaker and leaned on him. “Y/N?”

You couldn’t answer him.

You continued to wheeze, your breath hitching against your throat harshly. As the fog reached up to touch your face, it left angry, blistering marks in your skin. Unlike Jason, you had no armor to protect yourself - and somehow, Crane had turned the air itself acidic. Your eyes became wrecked with bloody red streaks and your face swelled as you continued to choke.

Jason’s insides screamed, but he felt too still.

As more of the fog touched you, some of the marks on your neck and your cheek blistered more and opened up, bleeding out pinkish bubbling puss as Jason continued to hold you - he didn’t know what else to do.

All he could do was hold you.

A harsh foam seeped out of your mouth as you choked on your last half-breath, and Jason felt a stinging pain consuming him - he wasn’t sure if it was the acidic fog finally breaching through his clothing, or the biting pain of having you limp in his arms - dead, as he huddled there on the floor.

“Come on.” Jason wept, steaming up the inside of his helmet as he recycled back his own breath now. He reached up to your cheek, accidentally skimming off a layer of your marred skin with his gloved thumb as he tried to wipe away some of the teary blood that had leaked from your eyes. “Come on, Y/N. Wake up.”

Jason simply wept. And he held you.

As he looked at the camera feed, Crane smiled.

“This is what happens when you don’t play by the rules, Red.”

...

A/N: SOOOO obviously this ending leaves us with a lot of questions - did Jason survive? I think this can be interpreted one of two ways: one, Jason did live. He managed to escape somehow, and he had scars all over his body from the acidic fog, and he enacted a very vicious, bloody, torturous revenge on Crane before going into hiding forever (or before using Red Hood to give actual justice to innocent people who needed it, his scars always a reminder of who he lost). Or - he sat there in shock and eventually choked to death as well. Or he pulled the whole 'my life is not worth living anymore' thing and just took off his helmet on purpose. So you can imagine that either of those things happened next.

Also, if you didn't catch it (or, if you're not a Saw person) - this situation was heavily inspired by the final plot twist trap in Saw X. I love the acidic fog, and I feel like Crane could be a trap guy. The Titans version of Crane could be good friends with John, imo.

Also, if you enjoyed this fic, check out my DC Titans Masterlist for more of my other fics!! And please consider reblogging and commenting on this fic to tell me what you liked about it.

#sundrop writes #jason todd #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x you #jason todd x reader #jason todd x gender neutral reader #jason todd x gn!reader #titans fanfiction #dc titans #titans x reader #dc titans fanfiction

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