#//I really am gonna not talk about this any more I've gotten a couple other asks regarding it

[canirove]

Rice, Rice, baby | Chapter 32

Previous chapter | Next chapter (coming out on Monday)

Masterlist

“And if you run out of nappies, there is a box in the storage room. And he has to have Mr. Poo with him when he is sleeping, even during naps. And if he can't sleep he usually calms down if you sing to him “Freed from desire” because Declan sings him football songs and for whatever the reason that calms him down. And if he…”

“Liv… Liv, Olivia” Declan's mum says, stopping my rambling. “I know what to do. I've raised three boys and a few grandchildren, remember?” she chuckles.

“Yes, sorry. I'm sorry. I just… you know.”

“It's the first time you are gonna be away from Oliver since he was born.”

“Yes” I sigh.

It's been three months since I gave birth. Three of the most exhausting, daunting but also wonderful months of my life, full of sleepless nights and tears, but also many laughs, cute moments, and my phone saying I'm running out of memory due to all the videos and photos I've taken of Ollie. I've even had to make different folders so everything is a bit organized.

There are a couple just for photos and videos of him, one for all the content with my mum, with Declan's parents, with his nephews, with Madders and Kennedy, with their kids, with Olga… And of course, there is one only for Declan. After the ones all for Ollie, his has to be the one that has the most content.

But I just can't help myself. Seeing him being a dad is… I don't know how to explain it. It's like it makes me fall in love with him even more than I already am, sometimes making me feel like my heart is about to burst from all the love it has for him and Ollie. Other times tho, it makes me think of what I overheard him and his mum talk about. About the fact that he told her that he was in love with me.

More than once I've wanted to ask him about it, if what I heard was true or if it was my mind playing games with me because I was about to bring a human being to the world and everything inside me was a chaos. But I've never managed to do it, I've  always gotten cold feet. Though that may be about to change.

He has booked us a couple of days away at the same place where we stayed for our babymoon with the excuse that I deserve to relax, have a good night of sleep, and just think about myself for a bit (easier said than done). And since that was the place where we were supposed to talk about our feelings and what the kisses we shared meant, this may be the right moment to do it. To stop being a coward and tell him what I feel, to say the three words.

“Ok, our bags are in the car. Are you ready?” Declan asks, joining me and his mum.

“She's ready” she says.

“Can't I check on Ollie again? Just to be sure he is…”

“Liv, the little man is asleep, he's ok. And you already said goodbye to him like five times” Declan chuckles.

“Six. She went back to this room while you were away.”

“Really?”

“I'm sorry, I just… I can't help it” I shrug.

“He's gonna be fine, Liv. I have everything under control, and tomorrow your mum is coming over too. He's gonna get all the attention and cuddles in the world” she smiles.

“Can I give him a last one?”

“Declan, take her out of here, please” his mum laughs, pushing me towards him. “I don't want to hear from any of you in two days, understood?”

“I'll try my best to keep us, and especially her, entertained” he smirks, putting an arm around my waist and making my stomach do a flip inside me. 

“Yeah, well, umm… Can't I see him one last time, then?”

“No” Declan's mum says, definitely using the same tone she has had to use plenty of times with her sons. “And now go or you'll be stuck in traffic for hours” she says, moving her hands in the air and basically kicking us out of the house.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Have I ever told you that this is the best chocolate cake ever?”

“Every single time you've eaten it since that first time” Declan laughs.

“It feels like it happened in another lifetime” I sigh.

“It does, doesn't it?” he says, finally managing to open the champagne bottle he had on his hands. It is our last night away, and to celebrate, he ordered some of that chocolate cake I love so much and some champagne. “If we went back in time and told that Liv and that Declan that two years later they are parents to the most amazing little boy, they would not believe us.”

“Nope” I chuckle. “And thank you” I say when he gives me a flute with some champagne.

“You're welcome” he smiles. “So, what should we toast to?”

“I don't know… Maybe to that amazing little boy you just mentioned?”

“You have not stop thinking about him, have you?” Declan laughs.

“Have you?”

“I have not, no” he smiles. “And how could I when I have you reminding me of him all the time? Each day he looks more like you, Liv.”

“But with your eyes.” Because my wish had come true, and he had gotten his eyes. Those blue eyes I have not been able to stop thinking about since the first time they looked at me, eyes that make me feel things no one had been able to before. 

“To Ollie?” he says, raising his flute.

“To Ollie” I reply, doing the same.

“And, since we are toasting and celebrating… I have something for you.”

“For me?”

“Yep” he says, giving me a small box. 

“Declan, I… You didn't have to get me anything. You've done enough already with this trip and everything else since I moved in with you.”

“What I've done is the bare minimum, Liv. And this is just a little something. Open it.”

“Ok” I say, my hands shaking a bit. Why am I nervous? “Oh…”

“Do you like it? I've seen you wearing both rings and necklaces and I didn't know what you liked best, so I just picked one of each.”

“I love it, Declan” I say, trying really hard to not start crying. He had gotten me a ring with Oliver engraved on it and a matching necklace with an O and a little stone hanging next to it. “Is this a real ruby?”

“It is. That's Ollie's birthstone, isn't it?”

“Yes, but… wow. I… I don't know what to say.”

“Just knowing that you love it is enough” he smiles.

“Thank you, Declan” I say, wrapping my arms around him and hugging him. 

“You're welcome, Liv” he replies, hugging me back. We stay like that for a while, just hugging and not saying a word, until a bird makes us both jump.

“What the fuck was that? A dinosaur?”

“I don't know” I laugh. “But it was loud.”

“So loud…” he chuckles. “Anyway, do you want me to help you put on the necklace?”

“Please” I say, giving it to him while putting on the ring. It fits perfectly. “How did you think of this?” I ask him to try and focus on something that isn't the way his fingers feel on my skin.

“Aaron told me that he had bought Georgina a pushing ring, and I thought I could do the same.”

“A what?”

“It apparently is a thing people do to congratulate their partners after giving birth” he shrugs.

“I had never heard of it before.”

“Neither had I. And done. How does it feel?”

“Perfect” I say, turning around to face him. “Thank you, Declan. Again.”

“That's ok” he smiles. And once again, I find myself focusing on his mouth. On his lips. On how much I want to kiss him and… “Don't do it, Liv.”

“Uh?”

“Kiss me. Don't do it.”

“I wasn't going to kiss you” I say with a nervous laugh, my face already burning. Fuck.

“But you were thinking about it, weren't you?” he smirks.

“No.”

“Sure” he says, his smirk turning into a grin.

“Ok, fine. What if I was, uh? Is there any problem with that?”

“Yes and no.”

“What?” 

“No, because I also want to kiss you, and yes, because we can't do it until we have had that conversation we were supposed to have months ago.”

“Oh, that… yes” I say, focusing on my hands. “I've wanted to talk about that too for a while but never found the moment.”

“Well, this is it. And even though the chivalrous thing to do would be to let you speak first, I can't, Liv. I must be the one explaining everything first because I am the one who behaved like a dick and the one who broke your heart.”

“Declan, you didn't…”

“C'mon, Liv” he says with a sad laugh. “You know I did and that I hurt you. I hurt you really really bad.”

“I… You did, yes” I whisper.

“I hurt you and I think I will never be able to forgive myself for it. Because I… I didn't want to do it, you know? Like… urgh” he says, running his hands through his hair.

“It's ok” I say, reaching for one of them as he lets them rest on his lap, interlacing my fingers with his and giving it an encouraging squeeze.

“I never meant to hurt you or treat you the way I did, Liv” Declan says, looking at me. “I swear that was never my intention. But I… I was a coward. I was a coward who got scared because he had never felt for any girl the things I was feeling for you. The things I still feel for you. Because I love you, Olivia” he says, those blue eyes of his looking at me in a way that hadn't before. It's like I could feel them reaching my heart and my soul if that makes any sense. “Each day I'm more convinced that I've loved you since the moment we met and you made me that first coffee, because I haven't been able to get you out of my head since then. And that scared me, Liv. That scared me so much… That's why sometimes I would ignore you and be cold around you. Because what I was feeling for you was so new and so intense that instead of just enjoying it, I would sabotage it. I talked about it many times with my brothers and some of my best friends, and they all gave me really good advice, the main one being: don't fuck it up, Declan. But instead of following it, I did the opposite and ruined it all. Instead of telling you how I felt, I ran away from you every time my feelings overwhelmed me. Because I was a coward, Liv. The biggest coward ever.”

“You weren't a coward, Declan” I say, wiping away a tear from his cheek.

“I was, Liv. I was a coward who fucked up big time, breaking the heart of the woman he loved, and making her despise me.”

“I never despised you. I hated you for a while, but I never despised you” I say, caressing his cheek. 

“But you should have. What I did to you that summer… The way I played with you for months… I deserved it.”

“You did, yes. Olga agrees on that” I chuckle. 

“I was going to explain everything to you that day, you know? I was going to tell you that I loved you and that I had been a dick who didn't deserve you. That I was going to work on myself to fix all my insecurities, that I wanted to become someone worth it of you even if you didn't want anything to do with me ever again. But then…”

“We got carried away.”

“A bit, yes” he smiles. “Then when we crossed paths again and I overheard you talking with Harry about being pregnant, and the thought that it could be mine didn't cross my mind, you know? I only thought that you had moved on just like I was trying to do and miserably falling at because you are the only woman I love, and that I deserved to feel the way I was feeling, that I had broken your heart and now it was my turn to feel that pain. But then you told me he was mine, and it was like the skies opened” he chuckles. “Because I saw it as the world giving me a second chance to fix things and do them right this time. To make up for all the wrong choices and mistakes I had made and stop being a coward. I couldn't keep being that person now that I was going to be a father. I needed to step up, to be the best version of myself for that little person that was about to come to the world and change everything forever. But while focusing on that, we've been getting closer again. And even though the thought of us getting back together is something that I've tried to keep locked away to just focus on your pregnancy and Ollie, on you two being safe… It's been almost impossible. The idea of us being a family, of us raising him together as a couple like I had dreamt many times before ruining it all, is something I constantly find myself thinking about, especially when we are together. Because I've found myself falling in love with you more than I already was, Liv. And hiding my feelings for you has been so hard… So fucking hard. You don't know how many times I've wanted to kiss you and love you but I've had to stop myself. So many times…”

“And here I was thinking I had done something wrong” I chuckle. “Because I've also wanted to kiss you many times, you know?”

“You have?”

“Yes” I nod.

“I wish I had told you earlier how I feel. That I love you and that I always have. But there have been so many things going on these past few months that I didn't want to confuse you even more and…”

“You have said it now, haven't you?” I smile, my fingers still caressing his face.

“I have, yes” he replies, letting out a big sigh and smiling back.

“Though I already knew.”

“What?”

“I overheard you telling your mum about it before Ollie decided it was time to come to the world.”

“You… shit.”

“And that's why I said earlier that I've been wanting to speak with you. I needed to know if what you had told her was real or if it was just my mind playing games, because Declan… I love you too.”

“You…”

“I think I've also been in love with you since the moment I met you at the cafeteria, because I haven't been able to keep you out of my head either. And yes, you hurt me and you broke my heart, but I… I never stopped loving you. I couldn't despite Olga constantly telling me that I should.”

“You should have listened to her, Liv.”

“Yeah, well” I shrug. “The thing is that then I got pregnant, and those feelings were still there, growing and getting stronger. And then there were moments where it felt like we were getting closer again and you were going to kiss me, but then you wouldn't, and like I said, I didn't know if I was doing something wrong, if it was my hormones making me imagine it all, if it was just me wishing we could go back to what we used to have, if I was making the same mistakes again and letting you play with my feelings… It was confusing as fuck” I laugh. 

“I wasn't playing with your feelings, Liv. I'm so sorry you felt like that. I know I did it in the past, and even though I wasn't doing it intentionally to hurt you, I… That wasn't the case this time. I promise you.”

“I know” I smile. “But then when you surprised me with the nursery… I knew it. I knew it wasn't my hormones messing up with me. It was just how I felt. I loved you and I was falling in love with you more and more each day, and since Ollie was born it has gotten to a point where I… I… I just fucking love you, Declan Rice. I'm stupidly and completely crazy in love with you and…”

“And so am I, Liv. I'm stupidly and completely crazy in love with you. I love you” he says before kissing me. 

And you know, even though we've kissed many times before, none of those kisses have felt like this one. There has not been a single kiss in my life that has made me feel the way this one is, to be honest. 

Because there has not been anyone I've loved the way I love Declan, and probably never will. 

[reidsc0nverse]

A Rose by Any Other Name (Chapter One)

Summary: Reader has her first day at the BAU in training to take JJ's place on maternity leave. She gets comfortable around the office with the help of her father Davis Rossi and the other members of the team, especially one specific genius.

Warnings: None

AN: This is my first real try at this idea that's been collecting dust in my brain, so far this chapter doesn't have a whole lot and it's mainly intro to the character but yeah. Also reader doesn't have Rossi's last name fyi and she's taking Jordans place in season 4 but they're not the same I promise.

Series Masterlist

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   Well, I knew the time was coming, just not so out of the blue.

   I was training under the Communications Liaison of the BAU today, Jennifer Jareau, due to the fact that she's leaving for maternity leave soon. 

  It was only a matter of time before my dad, him being THE David Rossi, pulled some strings to get me to that spot despite me barely finishing the academy. I mean, I rocked it, but they usually want someone of more...experience in a position as such.

But here I am, walking through the doors of the bullpen and Jennifer walking up to me with a friendly smile.

"Ah! Agent Y/L/N, glad to see you," she said cheerily, holding her hand out for me to shake it.

"You too" I say returning the gesture and trying to keep my composure and maintain the same cheeriness as her, but failing.

"Nervous?" She asks, seeing through me with ease but continuing to keep her friendliness and walking me to her office.

"No of course not" I say sarcastically with a playful smile on my face as we enter in the room filled with a vast amount of case files.

She motions for me to sit across from her at the desk and laughs softly, "Don't worry, after your first couple of cases it gets easier..ish." 

"I just hate the part of the job that involves dealing with the press" I admit, with the stuff I've heard from my dad I can understand the stigma around journalists and outside sources.

"Tell me about it, but you'll get the hang of it, it's usually just repeating yourself after a while." She replies and we continue to discuss more about the details of the job and what I'm gonna have to do in the next weeks. 

"Alright enough of this, everyone should be here by now. I'll introduce you to everyone." She says and we get up and out where three agents stand talking.

"Hey guys, I want to introduce you to someone. This is Agent Y/N Y/L/N. She'll be taking over for me while I'm on maternity leave." She says and I smile at the three that Jennifer has described to me.

I go to shake their hands, "You must be Agent Prentiss, Agent Morgan, and Dr. Reid." They all return smiles to me, "Agent Jareau has told me so much about you all."

"La mia bambina!" I hear a familiar voice say as I look over to see my dad, his arms stretched out and pulling me as he kisses my cheek. 

"Hi dad." I say sheepishly, my face burning as the agents in front of me furrow their eyebrows. 

"Dad?" Prentiss says and continues, "Does your last name come from wife number 2 or 3?" she jokes and Morgan laughs in response.

My dad waves them off and looks back to me, "Training start today?" I nod and he holds me with his arm over my shoulder. "Yeah if you can let me go I can finally start" I joke with him and he lifts his arm in response.

"Yeah Rossi, I'd like to get her started with that." Jennifer says playfully as I wave once again to the others when she brings me with her to look over a case before bringing it to the team.

"I may have forgotten to mention that part to them," She says, looking at the file in her hand. "Oh, what? That Rossi's my dad?" I ask, her nodding and I continue, "No worries, I don't think he's ever even brought up having a kid. One that he knows about at least. We haven't been that close in all honesty." I explain to her. It's really no big deal to me, he wasn't very present in my childhood but as I've gotten older, he's put in a lot of effort to be a part of my life even if it's a little late. Hence, my place at the BAU.

We spend the next hour going over cases and she guides me on how they decide where to go and whether or not the risk of more lives being lost is prominent. Once we settle on one she lets out a breath, "Alright let's take a break, I need to stop staring at all of this" she says motioning to the abundance of cases on the desk. I nod in agreement smiling and make my way to the break room for a cup of coffee.

"Agent Y/L/N, right?" I hear someone say as they walk in. I turn my head and see the tall stature of Dr. Reid.

"Yes, yeah. Hi." I say, waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing. He walks over and waits next to me with his empty mug. "But I don't really care about formal titles, you can just call me Y/N."

"Okay, Y/N. You can call me whatever, Spencer, Reid, I don't mind." He says gently and continues, "Rossi never mentioned he had a daughter. Let alone one coming onto the team."

"Temporarily" I remind him, but it's more to myself, "but I don't know how often he really wants to talk his personal life." I say lightheartedly and the coffee finally fills up my cup and I move over to let him use the machine.

Spencer shrugs and begins to make his own, "How long have you been in the FBI?"

At this I get nervous to respond, you can be as young as 23 to get into the FBI, but the BAU needs prior experience. But of course, my dad rushed the process some. "Well, uh, I kind of just finished the academy. I'm only 24 so there hasn't been much room for familiarity."

He looks at me with a slight surprise in his face, "Really? I mean if it makes you feel any better I started here as soon as I could. So in reality, you don't need all that much prior experience in the FBI to work here."

"Aren't you like, a genius though?" I laugh, Jennifer did tell me that about him.

He laughs and nods, "Well..you know what I mean. They make exceptions."

"Yeah, I suppose"

"Are you interested in profiling?"

"I only just recently figured that out." I laugh and explain further, "Psychology has always intrigued me and that's what I majored in, so once my dad figured that out he kinda shoved me into this field." I say, doing an exaggerated push motion absentmindedly.

He smiles and nods, "I think you should go for it, after this whole liaison thing of course, I wish you luck." He says and waves as he walks out. In that moment I can feel my face flush slightly, it wasn't that big of a deal but I guess I just wasn't expecting that sort of kindness on my first day.

I shake my head slightly and walk back to where Jennifer and I previously were.

She was already back on her side of the desk and reading a file, looking up she points at my cup, "Good thinking" she smiles and I take my seat again.

"I'd hate to think about how much coffee is drank in this building." I joke.

"Probably enough to supply a small country." she laughs and goes on, "Alright so I think you're pretty much all done for now, I don't think you'll be able to join us on the case but you can just get yourself used to the team if you want."

I nod and the day goes by with loads of 'how to's' around the office and in the perks of Jennifer's job. Sooner than later I get to go home and I get my stuff packed up and walk in the elevator.

The doors start to close but before it shuts completely, I see Spencer rush towards the elevator and I hold them open for him.

"Sorry- sorry." He says awkwardly as he gets in next to me. "How was your first day?"

"It was new. That's for sure. Just a whole lot of information on what I need to do." I say, fidgeting with my hair slightly.

"I'm not sure how much I can do, but if you need anything I know anyone on the team will help" He reassures me, and i smile back. "Thanks, really. I appreciate it."

"Of course." He smiles and the elevator opens up leading to the parking lot. "I'll see you later." He says and I smile back walking to my car.

I can feel the pink in my cheeks when I sit in the front seat and drive home.

I think I'm gonna like my time here.

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okay chapter two will be out sometime between today and next week I hope y'all like it so far ik it's not a lot but give it some patience lols

[beatrixstonehill2]

"Holy crap, I feel incredible! Only one month into the Stealth Detrans Challenge and I'm having a blast! Soooo happy my boyfriend convinced me to do this! For those who aren't keeping up, I met Darren about three months ago on Tinder and even on our first date he was gushing about this challenge and how he'd love to see me try it. I only giggled and nodded along, telling him I'll think about it..... sure enough only a couple months later I actually decided to give in! Seeing the other girls do it definitely helped, watching them gradually change and try, but fail to hide their masculinization. It seemed simple enough.... Stop my hormones, start taking testosterone instead, and see how long I can go before I can't hide that I'm detransitioning and becoming a guy. Most girls only last a few months before it's way too obvious....

I'm not sure if I'm even gonna last that long! My body knows what it wants and now that it's finally tasted T, it's like I'm being fast-tracked through male puberty! It's totally wild to watch. Since I started blockers and hormones so young I've never had, like, any T in my system. My hips grew big, my ass got nice and fat, and of course my breasts became huge and perfect for guys to play with. My cock never got bigger than an inch, but after a month on testosterone it's already six inches fully erect! I can finally jerk off! I could only rub it before. Not only that, but my balls are getting really big. They used to be tiny and useless, now they're as big as eggs, full of glorious cum! I ejaculate these huge, thick, milky ropes of cum, sometimes a dozen per orgasm, especially right when I wake up and relieve my morning wood, which can take three or four orgasms before my erections finally stop.

I'm already failing to hide my cock. I can hardly wear jeans or shorts because I get erections constantly. It's humiliating having to run to the women's room, make sure nobody's around, put some porn on my phone and jerk off in a stall really fast. I usually just watch something that gets me going fast, like pregnant college girls giving birth as they suck cock and get ass fucked. I've almost gotten caught a few times.... Now I even pee standing up so it's even more obvious that a guy is using the ladies' room. If the noise of me beating my cock wasn't obvious enough, watching porn like some hopeless gooner with zero impulse control.

I never used to watch porn, and I only masturbated a couple times a week. Now I jerk off over a dozen times a day, sometimes in my car when I'm out driving, or I'll even hide behind bushes or trees at the park and rub one out if my erections ache enough. How can other guys stand this? And to think my cock is only just starting its growth, most 'girls' who do this challenge wind up with cocks somewhere between ten and fifteen inches. I...... kind of love the idea of having a massive cock, showing everyone I'm a man no matter how much I doll myself up and train my voice..... speaking of which. Yes, my voice is just starting to crack! I am SO hyped! Pretty soon I'm going to need to voice train if I'm going to convince anyone I'm supposedly a girl. Already my friends and coworkers are looking at me funny when I talk. Some of them smirk when I open my mouth, as they go from eyeing the bulge in my shorts to my newly cracking voice. They can tell deep down what I'm secretly doing.

My bf is really happy I decided to do this challenge, but even more so that I'm detransitioning in general. He told me on our first date he's bi but prefers men. I shrugged and joked that if he's sure I could always be a guy if he really wants me to be. He definitely took me up on that offer! Pretty soon my facial hair will come in. My body hair is already getting thicker and coming in faster. I'm getting new hair up my belly and it's starting to grow on my breasts! It's looking like I'm meant to be a really hairy guy. Always knew I took more after my dad.... And speaking of my breasts, I've started telling my friends I'm thinking of getting a reduction. I'm asking them how they feel about me going really small, that I'm self-conscious of being so big breasted. They seem to love the idea. A couple of them even straight up said I'd look amazing totally flat-chested. I just smiled big and said, "Oh! You think so, too?"

Now it's only a matter of time until my passing days are numbered.... Once my beard really comes in and my voice gets way deeper I'm gonna get top surgery. You know, I'd get it now but I'd hate to spoil the challenge so early! Half the fun is watching people wonder if I'm detransing or not. I'm having so much fun I already convinced two trans girls at my university to do the challenge, too! We're hoping many more will follow. There's nothing naughtier than having the perfect body as a trans girl, going through all the work of going on blockers and never missing your hrt, developing your dream body. Perfect hips, perfect ass, perfect tits and a beautiful face/voice to match, only to throw it all away because the thought of becoming a guy makes your cock super hard.... Guess that shows how male I really am. All I can think with is my dick!"

[royboyfanpage]

roygarth headcanons and motifs?

Okay I wanna just give a disclaimer that I am not a Garth expert, I've only really read him in Titans comics (though I did read Tempest 1996 specifically for this ask), also Roygarth isn't my OTP, I do ship it but it's not something I've thought about in great length, so my apologies if I've gotten Garth's character wrong or if my interpretation of the ship is different to yours/OOC. Also I've not made any in depth ship posts before, I'm more of a passive observer of ships, so apologies if this sucks ass generally.

For it to work in canon, a very strong aspect of it would have to be communication. Roy doesn't always pick up on when he's done something that's upset someone, and Garth can become quite vocally angry if someone upsets/hurts him. I really wish that the progress they'd made in Titans (1999) #16 was expanded on in later comics because I think if they got past that initial barrier of miscommunication they could have such a good relationship. They're actually pretty similar in some ways, they both love very strongly and are fiercly protective of the people they love, but there are differences, too. Roy's very much an immediate reactor in a lot of cases, he reacts immediately when something upsets him and forgives just as fast, whereas Garth can let things fester/build over time and then eventually lash out in a much angrier way, so communication is definitely the most important aspect.

I don't think that they'd ever be the perfect honeymoon couple, there are always gonna be some things about both of them that drive each other insane. I can't see Roy completely dropping all the teasing, and I also can't see Garth suddenly becoming totally okay with it because Roy's explained he's only kidding. However, I do see it becoming more of an exasperation rather than actually pissing him off, and if they were to get closer I could see it becoming more mutual, good-natured teasing. I also think that they'd get better at resolving arguments too, and that they wouldn't escalate as far once a mutual level of trust's been built up. I think Garth kinda has an expectation that people are out to get him sometimes or that they underestimate his worth, so once that's been addressed and Garth's assured that Roy has no ill-will or negativity towards him then he'd be less likely to lash out and more understanding that that's just Roy's way of showing affection.

It's absolutely a slowburn relationship that would take a lot of time to develop. They're not gonna wake up one morning and realise they love each other and should date. I think, if anything, Cerdian would be a really good way for them to actually fall in love with each other (let's say for the sake of this, Cerdian's fine and Garth and Dolphin split up). I think being able to bond over being parents would absolutely open new opportunities for their relationship, and one of the things Roy looks for in a romantic partner is how well they get along with Lian, so another parent would definitely be a good choice of partner for him, especially since Garth already adored Lian even before Cerdian was born and he and Roy had their talk in purgatory. Plus them co-parenting Lian and Cerdian would be adorable.

I still think that the nicknames would persist, but they'd definitely become more terms of affection as they entered a relationship. Maybe not Gill-head specifically since Garth's explicitly stated he doesn't like that one, but other affectionate fish-related ones for sure. Also they'd keep calling each other Speedy and Aqualad affectionately.

Aaand from a more fanon-y perspective, I think Roy'd definitely be the one to initiate much of the physical affection. I 100% see him as a hugger, so I can imagine him just pulling Garth into hugs or dragging him over to the sofa to cuddle. Garth I can see as more of a spontanious kisser. Both of them go bright red whenever the other surprises them with affection. Also they should do the percabeth underwater kiss.

Anyway this is a family

[saltynsassy31]

Honestly, despite this post being mainly about dbh, it's sorta of a general thing

But gosh, what's with the ship wars? I mean, every fandom has this problem (sorta, the only fandom I've rarely, if ever, experienced it was the splatoon fandom cuz even the most unfortunate ships are shipped lmao)

I be scrolling, tryna find like, just general content, and someone be fighting over it

And I feel its gotten worse as of late cuz it's gotten involved with familial stuff

I'm a big found family gal

It's why, when I first played Detroit, Kara's story line was my favourite at the time (as of coming back to the game, it's become Hank and Connor, but I blame my Iron dad phase for that lmao)

But I'm not gonna fight people who see it or interpreted their relationship differently. If it wasn't stated in canon, then it leaves the gate way open to any interpretation because that's the fun part of being in a fandom! Different points of view!

And I especially come from the POV of someone who shipped two characters the fandom viewed more as siblings. By the gods, the hate some people had.

I was never at the tail end of that heat, but my mutuals from a server were, and when I jumped in to defend them

Despite coming out victorious (in a sense lol), I wouldn't say it was worth the effort, waisted my breath on petty fighting and I don't wish to again

But on the other hand

I've also been on the other end where I saw two very popular shipped characters as familiar/just friends. It's weird cuz they were/are more popular to the (technically) canon couple and they very rarely, if ever interact (legit got gaslit by the fandom that they did, until I went to look into it and found a desert of canon interactions).

And it's frustrating.

I really wish people wouldn't fight over these petty things. But it's the Internet, what can ya do? I'll just do what I can to avoid this in-fighting, not my monkeys, not my circus ig.

Still though, sometimes it feels like shipping/seeing them as just family really just, leaves out nuance. I like seeing both ends because it's interesting! You don't have to, of course, but discrediting either ends is so boring. Especially in the case of DBH where there are so many endings (total of 85 people!), so many characters, so many possibilities. Being stuck on one interpretation feels redundant to the game.

Now, am I saying to not enjoy your favourite parts of the game? No! I'm not here to judge you! Create that blog about solely the ship or solely familial content! It's your blog! :D

Feel free to block out content you don't like, curate your space.

Just don't....discredit others for their own interpretation. Be kind, or at least tolerable.

Idk where I'm going with this post anymore. I'm Ms. Yapper and this is my yapping page, thats all I do here at this point XD.

Just be kind and enjoy your stuff! Quit fighting! (But don't confuse that with me saying don't have discourse or debates, those are fun too, talking and defending your POV, that's part of fandoms too, just don't attack one another unnecessarily)

[austinmaris18]

Personal Thoughts on Yona (No Bashing)

I'm gonna be honest, I hate shipping discourse because at the end of the day, characters aren't real and muting tags, posts, accounts are a thing. I also don't want to clog the Sidlink tag with discourse bc it's bad enough on twitter. However, if there's one thing I've learned about myself, it's that when something's bothering me, I need to talk about it, if only to process it. So, apologies but here I go. I will say that I feel like this is a nuanced take, so I guess if you're interested in that feel free to read. Disclaimer before I go in: there will be absolutely no Yona bashing. This post isn't to bash or attack Yona, anyone who enjoys Yona individually or paired with Sidon. I don't necessarily dislike her as a character, I'm more annoyed at the writing surrounding her introduction.

I've been thinking a lot, and I think the reason that Yona's introduction bothers me so much is because it mirrors (more than likely unintentionally) a pretty annoying heteronormative trope. In Jeffrey Brown's book Love, Sex, Gender, and Superheroes (an amazing analytical book in general, would highly recommend) they note that following the publication of Seduction of the Innocent in 1954 - which claimed amongst other things that Batman and Robin were a couple - there was a sort of moral panic about comic books. This was also during the era of McCarthyism, and so to avoid Senate action, the comic industry created the Comics Code Authority, which partly ensured that "illicit relationships" weren't hinted at, and in 1956 Kate Kane as Batwoman was introduced to be a love interest for Batman to reinforce his heterosexuality.

Now, am I comparing Sidlink to the supposed queer subtext of Batman and Robin in 40s and 50s comics? No. Am I saying that Nintendo purposefully introduced Yona for the same purpose as DC did Batwoman? Not necessarily. I just think it's almost comical how similar the situation feels, and the writing doesn't help either. Now, Yona is apparently Sidon's "dear childhood friend" and is also from a different kingdom. That in and of itself feels so awkward because again, we've had Breath of the Wild and Age of Calamity AND their respective DLCs, and not once have gotten mention of Yona or her kingdom. Not in a throwaway line from an NPC, not in the murals of Zora's Domain, not in Mipha's diary. (Also, I know that technically, Age of Calamity isn't canon. But it still had input from the Zelda team, and it provides a supposedly canon view of the settlements in Hyrule before the Calamity.) Especially considering the fact that we get confirmation from Sidon's mural and King Dorephan's dialogue that the engagement to Yona is political/arranged, this engagement was not really foreshadowed in any meaningful way other than this sort of heteronormative notion of "He's a prince so he'll have to get married at some point." Like, Sidon had a whole fanclub in BotW, and not one of them knew?? Did the engagement happen in the six/seven years between BotW and ToTK? Again, for a race of long lived beings like the Zora, that feels a bit hard to believe.

This in particular is what makes her introduction so jarring. We've seen all the countless Twitch and YouTube streamers reacting, the TikToks, the tweets and Tumblr posts of people shocked and disappointed. Here's where I point back to the fact that Aonuma and Fujibayashi even addressed the fact that Sidon was so popular during the BotW DLC Dev Talk. That's not to say they were aware of the ship or even cared enough to have taken the action of mitigating any potential queer readings. Other than reactions to the gameplay and the overall story, I don't think Nintendo particularly cares what we do, think, or ship. But they did know that Sidon in particular was a standout popular character, and so it seems so strange to not pair him off in a more well written way.

That's before even mentioning the whole Zora mural where Sidon parallels his relationship with Yona to that of Mipha, literally calling her a sister. There's also no getting around the fact that he uses that phrasing as in Spanish, French, and the original Japanese (those are the languages I read, so that's what I'm referencing) so it's not an English localization quirk. And I know there's the line about his feelings become more "difficult to quantify" but again, why? Why not just say he admired her instead of comparing her to Mipha in that way if they want to show us there was something there even in their childhood? I know it's meant to be sweet and to depict a sort of growth of feelings between them, but it reads strangely.

So we have these aspects and then we compare this to Sidon's interactions with Link this game. (Also before that, I want to acknowledge something: the vast majority of us who ship Sidlink or just enjoyed Sidon's character were never under the illusion that Nintendo would go towards any canonical romance between Sidon and Link.) We arrive to Zora's Domain to find a statue of us riding Sidon from the Vah Ruta battle. There is a whole Hylian bedroom constructed near the area where Sidon and Link fought Vah Ruta (more built out than the bed area Mipha used). The whole "Link Shrine" Sidon has singing his praises. Sidon literally getting down on one knee, taking OUR HAND in both his hands before presenting us the ring (I know that the other champions say the same oath and give us rings, it's the imagery of a proposal that I'm referring to). Link standing equally distant to Sidon as Yona during Sidon's crowning. Yona telling us that when Sidon speaks it's more than likely to talk about Link. Already Yona's introduction so funnily parallels heteronormative tropes, but to actually have so much imagery and subtext for Sidon and Link makes it feel even more crazy? I think this is where people get so hung up on the idea that "Yona was just introduced to get in the way of Sidlink." Honestly, I think the interactions with Link are more probably concessions for fans (not necessarily shippers) because again, the devs know how popular Sidon is. But it compounds with the manner in which Yona is written into the game.

All that being said, I don't necessarily have a neat conclusion to draw from these thoughts, but going back to the Batwoman parallels, I do think it's a shame Yona won't have to chance to canonically develop further the way Batwoman did. After all, despite her original introduction, most people nowadays think Batwoman and think of Kate Kane, the redhead badass lesbian superhero. But that happened over the course of decades in a medium that iterates narratively on the same characters over and over. Even if we get a story DLC for ToTK that has more Yona content, I don't know that it would be enough to smooth over how awkward her introduction was, and it's hard to believe Nintendo would make another direct sequel or carry over Sidon and Yona to the next version of Zelda. But we can already see Yona's iterative growth through fandom!

Now listen. I know myself, and the truth is I'm never going to actively ship Sidon and Yona. But I'm sure there are amazing artists and writers out there who will flesh Yona and her relationship and history with Sidon out (whether that includes Link in a polycule or not). I'm glad that the game has made the interpretation of a lavender marriage between Sidon and Yona who have their respective paramours possible (with the politically arranged aspect of the marriage, Sidon's boisterous actions concerning Link, Yona's acknowledgement of Link's importance to Sidon). I'm looking forward to fics, standalone art and comics that take that route. I'm sure that there will continue to be art and fanfiction that don't acknowledge ToTK or Yona, and I will surely be consuming those as well. I really hope the homophobia and general discourse towards Sidlink subsides, because it's been surprisingly overwhelming on Twitter. I also hope that there aren't people actively attacking posts about Yona. After all, muting and blocking words, tags, and accounts are options across all social media platforms.

This post will definitely be a one off for me, and I don't ever see myself making another post like this again. I honestly might also delete this post in the future now that I've properly written out my thoughts. Anyways, time to get back to drawing practice and working on my fics.

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Rpg Anon: For the Bingo: Hinazumi, Soudaionji, Togahina, Naegiri, Fuyupeko, Tokomaru, Soruko, Saimatsu, Tsumioda, and everything. Yeah that's right. I'm throwing all the ships at ya.

//Aight, that's fair. Might as well get it out of the way.

//I really do wish that Mahiru was a more integral character to DR2's plot, because her interactions with Hajime in the Free Time Events are probably the cutest the game has to offer. Originally I was more of a Hinanami fan, and honestly I still am, but I've been corrupted by these two.

//Mahiru and Hajime are perfect catalysts for each other's character development, since one counters the others past trauma. Being someone who's just a meer photographer, Mahiru also has the potential to relate to Hajime more as a talentless individual.

//Ship is hella underrated, it needs more love.

//Outside of Survivor, I'm not CRAZY about this pair, and honestly, the only place I can think of it starting from is that one manga where Usami creates a Japanese festival and they have a bonding moment.

//It's kind of like a Nagatoro/Senpai relationship where the girl mercilessly bullies the boy because she likes him, and with these two, I can get behind that.

//Especially because of how much opposites attract. Hiyoko has a graceful design but a less than graceful personality, wheras Kazuichi is an honestly nice guy but looks and acts pathetic. There is potential there, but due to it being such a meager and not-well established ship, it lacks the fanbase movement to make it worth it.

//I didn't write down romantically or platonically on this one because the basic pair can go either way. This pairing is basically the definition of that high-school movie couple that's the pompous rich girl and the jock, except the gender roles are reversed, and honestly, I think that's pretty funny.

//Hina and Byakuya's progressions from adversaries to friends in DR1 and DR3 is actually pretty fun and natural, and the idea of Byakuya softening up around his classmates is one that I can more than get behind. Hina being the catalyst for it is also perfect.

//I kind of wish more people talked about this one.

//Don't think anyone's gonna argue with me for holding Naegiri in high regard. Makoto is the character who I have the MOST ships with, because I also think Sayaka and Mukuro make for amazing partners, but because Kyoko has spent the most time bonding with

//They have this theme where they can bring out themselves in each other to help balance out where their characters lean. Makoto is usually optimistic and wistful, but Kyoko can help bring him back down to earth and make him face reality if he ends up in a tizz. Alternatively, Makoto's optimism breaks Kyoko's ordinarily stone-cold expression, and it's shown in DR3 that she's gotten to the point that she is unashamed to speak highly of Makoto, because she's come to respect him and value him as a friend, something she would not have done in early DR1.

//They make each other the best versions of themselves and that's all a good relationship needs. Plus, the cool girl and lame boy dynamic is rarely ever not fun.

//These two got married after DR2 happened and nobody can tell me otherwise.

//Honestly though, as cute as I think Kuzupeko is, their actual canon relationship is kind of toxic. I know that's the point, but I like to think that Peko works herself out of that horrid mindset of being Fuyuhiko's servant and nothing else once she realizes how much he really loves her, not just romantically, but as a friend.

//Peko's also pretty good for Fuyuhiko's health. Even before any relationship upgrades I imagine he always vents to her about stupid shit because he can't trust anyone else with it, and thinking about that makes me realize how much they trust each other. They deserve one another, and no one else should have them.

//What I find most hilarious about Tokomaru is that it's basically just Naegiri with baggage. Rather, MORE baggage. Also, lots more screen time and room for development, since UDG is basically ABOUT these two and outside of every horrible thing that game brought, this relationship was not one of them.

//Like her brother, Komaru can be easily overwhelmed, emotional and sometimes too optimistic for her own good, and Toko helps mediate this with her more cynical and realistic personality. In turn, Komaru's more ordinary high school girl nature and her own quirks as a character suit Toko well, normalizing HER fucked up writing and bringing out the human side that she SERIOUSLY lacked in DR1.

//Speaking from the heart, I actually think these two are my current favourite couple in DR Survivor. I already talked in a previous post how writing Toko is one of the most fun and engaging things I've ever done, and I'm proud to see the natural progression of this pair and how far they've come together. If only DR weren't cowards and made them canonical lesbian lovers.

//WHERE IS UDG2 GOD DAMMIT!?

//Soruko is a pair that I love, but I have a hard time writing because Sora can sometimes be a MASSIVE DICK to her wife. Not that she means it, but sometimes I feel like I inadvertently make Sora this big dick energy monster who wants dominance over Yoru, and that's NOT what these two are.

//I get why they don't want to just write proper ships in even the fangames, but these two had such an intense amount of sexual tension between them for most of Another 2, and the way their stories end is frankly tragic and bittersweet.

//I have LOTS of problems with Another 2, really, I do. But these two were one of the things that actually drew me into the game. I think they should have kissed at least

//This is my favourite ship in canon and has been so since the dawn of time. It takes aspects from all the other relationships in Danganronpa I love and meshes them together in a sweet romantic lasagna.

//My biggest GRIPE is how little we got to actually SEE of these two, and the fact that whatever romantic scenes we get of them are called forced by a majority of the fandom. And I will admit, stories like Three-Point Shot and others like it portray Saimatsu in a much better way than the main series does. But the potential is unmatched.

//Like Tokomaru and Naegiri, one is an optimistic girl who is given reality checks by the more serious boy, who also has clear past trauma and depression that is quelled by the optimistic girl. It's the PERFECT healthy dynamic, and the good thing about it is that neither Kaede nor Shuichi are ever portrayed as perfect protagonists. In fact, they perfectly cover for the other's flaws to help sustain that balance. Their designs reflect this as well with Kaede's faded but colors being the basic reverse pallete of Shuichi's darker ones. Even as one of Shuichi's more well established ships, these two deserve more attention.

//Ooooooh fuuuuuck...I have a LOT to say about this one...

//This is probably my favorite ship in the series, possibly only beaten by Saimatsu. More people need to talk about this pair, it's frankly the best that the both of them can find among whatever pairings they might have.

//They have basically no interactions in the games and I think that's REALLY sad actually, because their dynamic of the emotionally strong girl and the emotionally frail girl has potential that just isn't explored, when it SHOULD be. Especially considering that Ibuki is probably the only character who can definitively FIX what's wrong with Mikan.

//Ibuki's entire Free Time Event storyline is all about her being herself, but also subtly helping Hajime overcome his fears and insecurities as a person by naturally taking his mind off them to have fun, and this really does help Hajime. If ANYONE needs therapy like that, it's Mikan. And Ibuki is just so naturally optimistic and charismatic, even Mikan should be able to see that nothing Ibuki does is foreplay or taking advantage of her.

//LET THESE TWO BE A THING!

-Mod

[bonesandthebees]

If u wanna talk more about the tntduo detective au I am ALL ears 👀👀👀 but also totally understand if u wanna keep it a secret for now hehehe

honestly I have no idea where I'm going with it so I'll throw it to the wind and let you guys chew on it while I let it simmer lol

so basically I started watching true detective: night country the other night with my mom and I immediately got inspired (I have not seen the first season of true detective although I really want to watch it now and hopefully will soon). also, I've always had a fascination with the polar nights phenomena. I've gone on wikipedia binges before reading about Utquiagvik (the Alaskan town I'm fairly sure the town in true detective s4 is based off of) which experiences polar night for roughly two months or so, and I've also gotten a few videos in my Youtube recommended from a youtuber who lives in Svalbard which experiences polar night for nearly three months. so suffice to say the concept of a several month long night has intrigued me for a while, and finding a show literally set during that multi-month nighttime immediately piqued my interest.

and when I watch really fun things I usually get the urge to write something in the same genre. originally I thought about a crimeboys detective duo fic, but then I was like wait has anyone done tntduo as detective partners? because I know there's crimeboys detective fics out there but I don't know if I've seen many of them for tntduo. and I realized that would just be a very fun dynamic for the two of them.

so grizzled small town detective partners tntduo who bicker like an old married couple, seem to have a lot of shit in their past between them, work incredibly well together and bounce off of each other perfectly during investigations, and also have the kind of tension where no one else in the room with them can tell if they want to punch each other or make out just felt like the perfect vibe to dig into. all set against the backdrop of a frigid arctic circle town that's in the midst of a 2 month long night. and then someone gets murdered.

so this post doesn't get too long I'll talk more about the specifics of the au under the cut

so tbh this idea while it is tntduo /r, it wouldn't be that focused on that and more focused on the murder investigation going on. besides our two overly tired small town detectives that definitely aren't repressing any feelings towards each other, we have several other characters going about their lives as well! of course tommy is there. he's a junior officer who only joined the police force a year before the start of the story (also, yes I'm very acab when it comes to real life but I just wanna write one of those stereotypical murder investigation stories man).

anyway, tommy is only 20 and his dad, phil, was part of the force for most of tommy's life. once he turned 18 though phil quit because he'd always hated the institution of police (and government in general) (although like wilbur he was a detective) but wanted to have a stable job to keep his kid supported. phil was... not thrilled in tommy's career choice, but who is he to protest?

phil mentored wilbur during his early years in the force, and in turn wilbur mentors tommy. he's trying to teach him how to think like an investigator, and will often ask him questions to get his brain turning pieces of evidence over and try to get him to look at situations in different ways.

since quitting and getting that sweet sweet government retirement money, phil pretty much spends all his time at his bestie techno's place. techno is the town hermit who lives on the outskirts. he also breeds sled dogs (not formally he just has a lot of dogs since people need them in that kind of weather) and usually has 10 huskies at a time running around his cabin. techno might also be a retired eco-terrorist but wilbur knows not to ask too many questions about that and quackity is scared of techno so he's definitely not gonna bring it up.

niki is a phd student from germany working at the nearby arctic research station for her dissertation. she focuses a lot of her studies on climate change and all that. she and wilbur are best friends and has heard way too many drunken ramblings about quackity.

jack manifold is one of tommy's best friends and works at the oil fields that employ most of the town. he's trying to get placed onto a proper oil rig out in the ocean at some point since those jobs pay really well. he's friends with niki too, although his job and her research certainly cause a bit of contention between them.

tubbo is another best friend of tommy's. he's born and raised in the arctic town but he went off to a prestigious uni down south to get a nuclear engineering degree so he's not really around for the most part

sam oversees and manages all the oil pumps and makes sure things are running smoothly. and in turn, schlatt owns the oil fields. he and quackity have, uh, a history.

and lastly, ranboo is an intern at the research station that niki is doing her dissertation work at. they're also close friends with tommy, although wilbur and quackity both have only met them a few times. the whole story kicks off when they go missing one day, only to be found dead outside in the frigid temperatures within a few hours. that's when the mystery kicks off against the backdrop of a nearly three month long night :)

anyway I do have the overarching mystery figured out, but it's the actual specific plotting bit i'm struggling with. I really don't want to write the entire investigation but also I don't wanna just write a single scene bc theres so much going on in this universe I wanna show arghhhh. and also I love slowburn and I think the really weird tense dynamic tntduo have in this would be so intriguing with that layered on top of it. just arghhhh motivation and time.

hope you enjoyed learning about my brainrot over the past few days lol I already made a playlist for this fic even though I don't think I'm gonna write it it's so joever for me

[iciatheguardess]

Hiiii it’s meeee elsie

conflicted Elsie

Look, you know as well as I do that I love TAOCC to freaking death

but like

I may have to partially step away from it after the current arcs are over.

these goofy goobers took over my life for the last three-ish months, and while I’ve had an amazing time, it’s…caused me to neglect other parts of my life, and restrict myself more than I should when it comes to how I am on this site. I’ve stated my intention to try and branch out multiple times but I never go through with it because I just…I have things to write here! I can’t! And yeah it’s fun but sometimes I get hurt even if people don’t mean to, like, I’ve gotten legitimately ill from this once or twice.

But I feel like even trying to step away a bit is somehow abandoning all of you or betraying your trusts. I want to stay friends with you guys, but my actual life and Irlsie has to come first most of the time, because I am not JUST Elsie, if that makes any sense. Elsewhere is and was always meant to be a sona for some interaction, maybe some friendos, but nothing this…involved, because I can’t put all of my social effort onto the internet because no matter what I do, the internet is not a completely genuine place, and I’ve accepted that. There are some parts of my personality I just don’t use. You don’t really ever see calm Elsie or mental illness Elsie or sappy Elsie, maybe once or twice, and that’s intentional. This is Writing Elsie’s blog, lol, but there’s other Elsie that needs to be allowed to exist outside of the internet, and I can’t neglect her or my actual life for the sake of this.

I honestly don’t know what to do here. I love these characters on a very personal level, and have poured my heart into them, and I don’t want to straight up leave them. Even only partially separating myself seems kinda pointless because I know what happens when someone gets really behind on the lore and has to be caught up on even just a day’s events to explain why Character A looks like this now or Character B is referencing this event, etc. etc.

But there’s a point where it’s not healthy anymore. Where things reach a place where I have to admit that this can’t be my entire life anymore. And I’m not entirely sure what on earth I should do about it…

If I do somewhat step back, it’ll probably be right after the vacation arc ends. i’m gonna pour my fluff loving heart and soul into that thing, don’t you worry. But you shouldn’t expect another dungeon or something like that from me unless I have a VERY good reason and a well formulated plan. Yes, I’ll probably still engage in shippery and fluff, as well as analysis, but mostly within the bounds of characters and dynamics we’ve already established, and not much farther than that. My one exception to the “after the vacation arc” rule would probably be Yelena’s arc, because of how long things in that section tend to take, for various reasons. Yelena’s arc is barely started, and stuff takes possibly days to move even a few hours in-universe. Sooooo….yeah, I wanna finish that, I’ve put too much work into it already to just stop it.

…dang this was only supposed to be a paragraph…

…pls halp, I have no idea what to do lol.

Ok. I've read over this a couple times.

First off, I'm talking to you as L here, and not Star. I am very, very proud of you for acknowledging this and understanding that this is getting unhealthy. I think it's very smart that you dont want to neglect your yourself irl and the fact you're saying this, and saying exactly what you'll be doing, I'm really proud of it.

To give you a clear answer, if it's going to help you irl then I think stepping back is smart. Especially from the trauma and angst, because that stuff hurts a LOT and it can be really, really detrimental and negatively affect irl things. What I DONT think is that it's betraying anyone. You need to be able to put yourself and your needs first in order to be your best self, and everyone understands that you can't be on tumblr 24/7 because, well, that's really really really really unhealthy and not good. I'm really glad you're telling me about this though so I, and everyone else who sees this, knows.

TAOCC is really great but there's a LOT of heavy things on here and with everything going on, it can be super weighing and really affect people irl. I can speak from experience because honestly, I'm in a similar situation. I won't speak much about that though. It's definitely addictive and can get really really unhealthy if you let it, and honestly it's not hard to let it.

I want you to do whatever you feel is best for you, no matter what that entails. Fei and Tails and Xeya and Kumo and so many others and I love you so much and do NOT want you neglecting yourself and your life irl for this- it's meant to be entertainment, not a lifestyle.

I think it's smart to finish Yelena's Arc before partially stepping back. And I think it's even smarter to not want to do another dungeon, because that whole thing was a massive angst-fest and I think it negatively affected people more than they care to admit. Shippery and fluff and minor things is a good boundary.

I'll wrap this up now, but again, I'm in full support of this decision because I want you to be at your best. You're right, you're not just Elsie. And it's not fair for you to only be Elsie when you're so much more than that. If stepping away from tumblr will help you take care of the other parts of your life that we aren't involved in or aware of, then please do so because no part of you and your life should be sacrificed for the sake of entertainment.

Again, I'm really, really proud of you for admitting this.

Please know we'll always support you and you're super important to all of us, so don't ever feel bad for putting your needs first. Irl things should always come first.

But no matter what always remember:

WE LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH AND YOURE SUPER IMPORTANT AND WE WANT THE BEST FOR YOUUU ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Everything I said is applicable for everyone else reading this too. Taocc is fantastic and we love it but it shouldn't completely take over your life. It's okay to take a break or step back fully if it means the best for your health and irl life. Please remember to take care of yourselves- and everything that Elsie talked about here is FANTASTIC self care. It may be hard, but it's also the best decision she can make for herself and may be the best decision for others too.

Alright- I think I covered everything. Don't ever feel like you're betraying us Elsie- it's not betrayal, it's self care. We'll still be here for you, always. Never forget that ❤️❤️❤️

[getvalentined]

Finally updated my directory with the links to bsky and cara, as well as links to my screenshot and gif tags for easier access (for me, mostly) and the Strifentine tag because it belongs with my top ships.

I keep wondering if I should put a little list of my NOTPs and disliked characters up there too, but ehhh. I have one on my website, and the fact that I dislike a ship or a character doesn't mean I'm gonna talk shit or anything. I don't like Ang*al and still dedicated almost 2k words to creating closure for the character at the end of Smoke and Mirrors, I don't like Lucrecia and I still go to bat for her pretty regularly—these are good characters, I just don't personally like them, and don't like how the fandom treats them. Ships are a little more touchy, since people can be really bad at tagging them, but I can just scroll on by and not engage in conversation about them for the most part.

More personal random update nonsense under the cut.

I'm actually feeling really down lately, for a handful of reasons. Some of it is the weather and air quality recently (it's so hot I want to throw up, there's been smoke in the air so I can't breathe, etc.), but some of it is more...mental and emotional, I guess.

I am so artistically burnt out I kinda want to die (I have no plans to make this happen, don't worry), but I'll deal with it. I've been like this since Turtle's health scare a few months back, when I got less than ten hours of sleep in the span of a week, and then proceeded to get less than five hours a night for the two weeks following, so it's no shock I'm still a mess. It doesn't seem like it's going anywhere any time soon, which sucks because I still owe people commissions from fundraising for her treatment. I may end up just...saving up to refund people.

The issue is that I feel like I can't draw unless I'm working on commissions, but when I try to work on commissions I literally burst into tears and can't do anything. It's a really fucked up cycle where I end up just paralyzed and on the verge of throwing up every time I even think about drawing, which is super hard on me as an artist. I feel like a failure, I feel like I'm letting everyone down, I feel like I'm ruining everyone's opinions of me forever. It's a really shitty feeling.

I'll figure something out. I'm an adult, that's what I have to do.

Speaking of people with ruined opinions of me, I think I'm going to start muting or unfollowing people who reblog/interact a lot with BB$C. I know she has a lot of friends, and maybe she's gotten better, but she still has me blocked so I'm not exactly hopeful. This is the woman who (apparently) told her friends that I abused and lied about her because one of my friends reported and called her out for tracing, and when she faced no consequences I made a vague sad thread on the general topic of popularity rendering unethical behavior acceptable in modern fandom. I only found out that she was seemingly telling people I abused her because one of her friends made a public comment on the twits about me being abusive—on a QRT of my thread detailing how I'd spent the previous year being abused by my now-ex. Very cool for me, the knowledge that some people saw that I'd been abused and went "oh she deserves it though" doesn't haunt me to this day or anything.

It's been a couple years since it all went down, but I just...I dunno, I feel like it's hard to genuinely improve as a person without even trying to make amends with the person she said those things about? But who knows. I'd be down to talk if she ever wanted to, but she hasn't yet, and I don't assume she will. I'm one of like four people on the planet who cares anyway, so it is what it is.

Summer is a rough time of year for me in general, so I'm struggling a lot recently with feeling like I deserve to even talk to other people at all. Constantly seeing the name of someone who went out of her way to make sure that I'd never feel welcome in a community I've been part of for a quarter century pop up on my dash all the time is not conducive to fighting that feeling.

Not to pity party over here, but I do get it. My older sister, my ex, BB$C—they're charming and creative and supportive, the people that they like generally don't get to see how they can be to the people that they don't. In the rare cases that they do see it, they change the narrative to make that person into something irredeemable, downplaying their own actions (if they admit to them at all) while exaggerating the actions of the person they dislike. These people have friends that genuinely love them, so of course they're going to believe their friend over some sad-sack stranger on a dying blogging platform. It's no fault to these people that they believe their friends.

(Just to clarify, I'm not saying that my ex tried to kill me the way my older sister did, or that BB$C was abusive in the way my ex was; these are diminishing levels of trauma. She and I were never friends, our sole one-on-one interaction was me approaching her on a zine project to make sure she was comfortable with me having created a piece of spot art that seemed to have ripped off her page art; I'd done it without realizing the concept had already been used elsewhere in the project, and didn't want her to assume I was copying her without credit. The irony of this is not lost on me.)

It would just be nice to feel like the truth means anything. I'm an abusive liar because I apparently said that this woman traced a bunch of her work; not only did I not report her, but it also isn't a lie. There are overlays with over a half-dozen screenshots and official renders to prove it. But even when her friends are shown those overlays, which I have done, it doesn't matter. The goal posts move, and suddenly I'm abusive just for caring that she traced at all. Allegedly lying is what made me abusive, but somehow I'm still abusive even if I didn't lie—and she's still the nicest person in the world, even though she did.

I do hope she's better. I hope her friends have helped her to become the kind of person who looks back at what she did with guilt and shame, and that she uses those feelings to improve. But seeing her name pop up over and over, sometimes from people who know what she did and still decided to re-follow her years later anyway, is a little too much for me to handle right now.

[bitimdrake]

Do you have fic recs by any chance? You really seem to have a lot of comics knowledge so I trust that you know what’s accurate to the source material and what’s not :)

you know I've gotten a few asks about this and I never quite manage to answer them, because I'm always convinced that I will somehow end up with a perfect and complete rec list if only I wait to reply just a little longer.

SO I'm gonna try cutting myself off at the head this time, and not giving you a prefect list by any means, but at least giving you an answer:

Here is a collection that I'm slowly forming for fics that really feel like they're actually based off comics. It is currently very small and people are welcome to bookmark to it if they find other very comics-based fics, but it's a start.

And a couple random recs as I scroll through my personal bookmarks:

Redrawing the Lines (11k) is fantastic Batman Reborn era Dick & Tim & Damian fic, and it continues as a series after.

also the second before the other shoe drops (8k) about the same trio. AU where Damian makes a murder attempt in a subtler way--but most important, is not demonized by a narrative that instead gives everyone a fair shake.

will we ever get to the other side? (5k) Dick & Tim in a very specific era where Dick's life is falling apart and filled with trauma, and Tim has just been hit with a huge smack of grief and also trauma, and neither is at their best but they're trying.

Everything by @silverwhittlingknife is ideal Dick & Tim content, and all deeply rooted in comics. I will call out:

The Return (11k), which is Dick's pov of Tim coming back to Gotham after Brucequest

only you will have stars that can laugh (9k) which is sad and loney but also sweet on Christmas

Red Letter Day (42k, wip) in which god Dick is trying his fucking best to hold it together okay. (aka everyone is kind of prickly, Dick is stressed, there's a Mysterious Wednesday of unclear importance, and I love them sm)

@flybynightwing has equally comics-based and also absolutely fascinating and compelling fics. I'll call out:

How Far Love Goes (99k) a case fic that draws in everyone in the bat family, with a tilt towards Dick (although the Steph is also fantastic), and turns into a reflection on Bruce as a parent.

goal-oriented mindset (5k) Catalina's pov, meeting Dick again well after everything went down. Subject may not be for you, but I find it SO interesting and roll it around and around in my head. (And it is of the very very rare selection of actually comics-based fics about that arc.)

It's a Wonderful Earth-218 (7k). A thoroughly depressed Dick goes to a world where he was never born, it's a wonderful life-style.

(And carrying on with various authors again:)

Hate and Love are Two Sides of the Same Coin (5k + 13k sequel) every member of his family is forced to say what they like least about Dick. The fic makes no secret of its thoroughly contrived premise and doesn't particularly care to justify it either, but still comes out with great characterization and relationship reflections.

Mikey Dies At The End (4k), outsider pov centered around Jason as the Red Hood, which is so very confident in its characterization of him and has zero considerations given to fanon and it's an excellent read.

A Meditation on Railroading (24k), a Tim-centric fic that deals heavily with his relationship with his dad. This one is not really canon at all, but it is good, and its version of the relationship is compelling.

Young Justice Visit the Suez Canal (3k) look this one is pure 90s-style Young Justice humor. We're here for a good time.

Aaand I know there are many more good fics, but I have run out of steam and I am trying so so hard to remember that some answer is better than no answer. Though I am very sorry to all my beloved writers & mutuals who have written excellent comics fic.

Anyway final tip is when you find an author who knows what they're talking about, go through all their fics, and then go through all their bookmarks.

[an-au-blog]

Just craving fluff and imagining College Au Shuggy celebrating the holidays by just doing very unchristmassy things together. They both seem like the type to like certain aspects of Christmas only to then be hit by waves of depression when the actual holiday arrives, so they just huddle under the covers together and watch Christmas classics such as “Die hard” or Gremlins together instead while eating Pizza and drinking eggnog till they can’t stand this stuff for another year. Buggy gives Shanks his gift at 2 am in the morning, an extremely ugly and old tacky sweater he found at a thrift shop a while ago. Shanks can immediately tell that it was cheap and Buggy most likely just went out and got him… SOMETHING, but also it’s hideous in a way he just adores and it has one of his favorite childhood cartoon characters on it and the fact alone Buggy went out and got him something is PERFECT and to Buggy’s horror that thing is gonna be his favorite sweater till the end of time. Buggy on the other hand suffers a mild mental breakdown and “Oh god I am the scum of the earth” reaction because Shanks actually went into a makeup store and got him an expensive eyeshadow Palette that Buggy has been eyeing for a while now. Kicker is Shanks didn’t even know that’s the Palette Buggy wanted, he legit just spent an hour in there with a picture of Buggy describing what Buggy looks for in makeup and what colors he likes and such and such and accidentally just landed on the correct one and rightfully deducted that he would probably like this one.

“WHY DID YOU GO AHEAD AND BUY ME THAT YOU HORRIBLE, UNFLASHY FANTASTIC BOYFRIEND?!” “I thought it would make you happy.” “IT WOULD IF I GOTTEN YOU ANYTHING GOOD AS WELL!! JUST A BED BATH AND BEYOND GIFTCARD WOULD HAVE BEEN WORSE!!” “Come on Buggy I love this thing-“ “THIS IS LIKE GIFT OF THE MAGI IF IT SUCKED EVEN MORE THAN IT ALREADY DOES!” “You could always kiss me to make up for it.” “I ALREADY DO THAT.” “Then let me kiss you… AND you’ll have to let me do it for the entire day without telling me I’m being sappy or disagreeing with me when I talk about how much I love you.” “…. Okay but you’re not allowed to say weird shit about my nose.” “…Can I kiss your nose?” “Ugh. I’ll allow it. But not in public!” “Deal. I won’t talk about how cute and kissable your nose is and I especially won’t talk about how cute and kissable it is in front of other people.” “YOU JUST- AUGH! You’re horrible! An absolutely awful boyfriend!” “Glad to have landed someone as amazing as you then.” “You-“ “Ah! We agreed on not disagreeing when I talk about how great you are!” “….fine.” “I love you... and I love how hard you blush when you can’t answer with a sassy comeback” “….mmmmnnnggghh!!! loveyoutoo.”

At first I was like "awww this is so adorable:')" but thwn I got to the dialogue part and went "ok, so we're assuming they're gonna get together, now are we ahahah"

I'm guessing you're the same anon who sent me a couple other college au asks - so first off: Thank you, you honestly keep me productive and remind me to finish this fic lol (since I named some of the others, maybe I can call you ogan - bc og anon or something idk, you can refuse or give me another nickname if you want...)

But also... have I given any indication that this will be a story with a happy end? Because, I've written ends with a doomed one sided love triangle, one of the main characters being hated by the love of their life and in a hospital, while the one the other was chasing rejected them indefinitely... it was my magnum opus for quite a while, so who's to say I'll give this one an ending like that?

I'm joking, I'm joking... or am I >;]]]

Anyway, I love the idea of them spending the holidays together! Buggy doesn't really have any close relatives to go to, all his friends went home, and thinks that Shanks is the same way, because why else would he stay behind with him?

Shanks is just so happy that he can finally be with his boyfriend. He makes hot cocoa (and it's horrible, but Buggy remakes it), he buys a cardboard cutout of a Christmas tree and they put stickers on it instead of decorations. At one point they start printing out memes and pictures of themselves and stick them on there as well. (Shanks secretly writes a wish, something cheesey like how he wants them to be like this for the rest of their lives, on the back of some of the photos)

In all reality, I believe that "Die Hard" and "Home Alone" (because these two franchises are basically the same, just one is kid coded lol) would be both Shanks and Buggy's favourites. I mean look at how they turned out ahahaha tho I must confess, I've never seen Gremlins, so I'll just trust you on that one':)

I also think thay Buggy would get horrible gifts very purposefully. Like he would look for hours to find the most raggedy and washed out looking sweater with the ugliest print of like... a green cow on red mars with a Christmas hat on both the cow and mars saying "moo-ry christmas" in comic sans or something horrifying like that. Like that one video of the guy who bought a card for the wrong occasion, for wrote a message to someone else and scratched out the name to look like it was a second hand card. I couldn't find the og video but I found this tiktok, hope it helps with the explanation.

In my mind Buggy thinks it's hilarious. Him and Shanks both love pranks and just jokes like this in general, so he would get it, right? Shanks liking it unironically wasn't in the plan. But then bad comes to worse and Shanks takes gift giving seriously - Buggy is caught off guard.

I love the image of Shanks standing in the cosmetics section of a big store that was one of the best according to google. He's just staring intensely, and color checking, and googling, and staring again - trying his best to remember everything Buggy had told him about make-up.

At some moment in the time he's searching, one of the workers there goes up to him to see if he needs help thinking "aw, poor lost man looking for something for his girlfriend, he looks like he needs help" and then Shanks shows her a picture of an honest to God clown going "I want the best for my boyfriend". And they have a little "This is your man?" "yeah" "Look at the picture" "that's mine :')" "and you're ok with this?" "imma stick beside him " moment. And then they just start looking together. Before they notice it's a whole horde of helpers and Shanks going all, "is that teal? I think he said he loves teal, but not one with glitter, wait, bring back the cherry red. Can you compare it to the sour cherry. Which one would match his lipstick best? This one's his favorite." and they're like a council, super invested at that point.

I also like to think that on new years eve, they're watching a marathon, and Buggy just falls asleep on Shanks's chest halfway through. He does that often and Shanks loves it. He doesn't even care that much that sometimes his make-up would be imprinted on his shirt .

Shanks showing love to Buggy's nose, despite his insecurities, makes me melt. (spoilers ig:) I was going to have a little dialogue/confrontation that portrayed that, but I was going to make it a "Shanks not caring about it and just acting like it's not there" thing, but him actually thinking it's cute and being all loving towards the one thing he's most insecure about is actually way better. I might utilize it later on lol :))

[themandaloriansdiaries]

Prompts List

when sending in your request please let me know which character/person you would like, as well as what category you would like. please give me a brief rundown on how you would like for it to go as well. or I can choose which direction it goes in. also! please make sure when you choose a prompt include the number as well!

I do not take credit for these prompts!! I've looked through different prompt lists and mixed them up.

Kiss

"can i kiss you?"

"are you sure about this?"

"close your eyes"

"wanna practise?"

"i really, really want to kiss you right now"

"i think i deserve a kiss"

"if you win, i'll kiss you"

"kiss me again"

"are you wearing chapstick?"

"shut up" (affectionately)

"you'll have to teach me"

"was that okay?"

"you're gonna get lipstick all over me"

"i think this is the part where you're supposed to kiss me"

"just follow my lead"

"one more kiss? please?"

"can we do that again?"

"i like kissing you"

"wanna make out?"

"don't speak. just kiss me"

"your lips are so soft, I could kiss 'em all day"

Fluff

"I miss you"

"close your eyes"

" aw, you're so cute"

"you've always felt like home"

"you make me feel alive"

"i wouldn't change a thing about you"

"did I ever tell you how beautiful your eyes are?"

"I love you"

"why the hell is there glitter everywhere?"

"why don't you take a picture? it'll last longer"

"its too cold, come back"

"your hair is so soft"

"no, i'm not letting you go. its too early to get out of bed"

"im not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention"

"come here, you can sit on my lap until im done working"

"shh, you're safe. I won't let you go"

"you make me feel safe"

"you're a little shit but you're my little shit"

"do you want to stay over tonight?"

"can I hold your hand?"

"everything has been different since I fell in love with you"

"shh, its okay love, it was just a bad dream"

"stay with me please"

"my heart beats for nothing except you"

"could you hold my hand?"

"go to sleep, you haven't gotten any rest in the past couple of days"

"i'm having your child"

"I've been excited to see you all day"

"'i've lost everything, i'd be stupid enough to lose you"

"can I at least shut the door before you decide to pounce on me the moment I come home?"

Angst

"talk to me please"

"of all people, you?"

"I guess I wasn't enough, was I ?"

"I don't think I can look at you and not think of how you killed every last bit of love I had for you"

"sometimes its so confusing- if you were the one that didn't deserve me, or if it was the other way around"

"if time healed everything, then I would've gotten over you by now. its been years and i'm still where I am while I watch you move on from multiple me's"

"the ghost of you lingers around me everywhere, every second of the day. I just want it to stop. please"

"you're not leaving, are you?"

"don't leave me, please"

"don't do this to yourself"

"I can't just sit by and do nothing when you're suffering so much"

"talk to me please"

"let me help you"

"stop pushing me away"

"you haven't been yourself lately"

"please, just let me go"

"i'm not going anywhere"

"its better this way"

"theres nothing you can do"

"I don't want to lose you too"

"am I too late?"

"just leave"

"you said you'd always be there for me.. how come you weren't there when I fucking needed you"

"just go, leave! its the least you can do after all the pain you've caused me"

"why can't you love me back"

"you're breaking me"

"you did this to me"

"I can never look at you the same after that"

"you were my everything"

"get away from me"

Protective

"get behind me"

"hold my hand, okay? its gonna be over soon"

"close your eyes for me love"

"when I say run, I need you to do as I say without looking back, and don't wait for me"

"its all going to be okay, they will never hut you again"

"I swear to you, that as long as I'm alive I won't let a single soul harm you"

"listen to me.. take deep breaths, yes follow my breathing just like that. theres no need to panic, i'm right here now, aren't I? you're safe"

"when you love something, you are to protect it with your entire life at stake, and right now, my gut tells me to do the same"

"I'll be back very soon, but don't come out. stay hidden until I come back and try not to make a noice, hmm?"

"i'm so sorry, I wish I would've never left you alone! if I knew this would happen, I would've never left you alone"

"don't ever leave my sight again"

"do you trust me?"

"be more careful next time. I don't want to have to bandage you up again"

"you came back"

"I'm going to protect you"

"I got your back"

"I heard you scream, nightmares again?"

"why? because I don't want you to get hurt, that's why"

"promise me you'll be safe"

"I don't feel comfortable with you going there on your own"

Feel free to use any of these! Tag me in your work, I’d love to read them🫶🏽

[many-gay-magpies]

For the ask game thing! If they haven’t been asked yet I’m super curious about 8, 15, 20, 23 & 24 (you do NOT have to answer all of those I’m just like super nosey and also pester-y)

oh thank you, i love to yap and i am absolutely answering all of these kdbfjfbfn (answering most of the non-fandom-specific questions about dbda because. well yeah)

8: i hope more people will come to appreciate...

honestly there are a ton of people that appreciate crystal in this fandom, and i am very gratified by the amount of people and posts i see preaching that she needs more appreciation/understanding/love, but like. there will never be enough crystal appreciation in my opinion. and while a lot of people love her character just as much as i do, there are also people (mostly in fics) that treat her more as an afterthought/backdrop for the boys or don't seem to really like her for her actual canonical traits, so i absolutely want more people to appreciate the beautiful mess that is crystal palace. and hey theres a whole crystal appreciation week coming up so thats gonna rock!!

although on a non dbd note. SCOTT MCCALL. hes literally the main character of teen wolf and hes amazing please love him. also alan deaton, he rocks and he gets far too much hate

15: the character that always makes me smile

unless its something angsty, i smile so fucking stupid every time i see charles rowland and his stupid pretty face i swear. his smile and goofiness and HAPPINESS are utterly contagious and i love him so much

20: my very first fandom

it was probably my little pony jfbjfbfjf. i'm talking when i was like,, i dunno eight? i wrote a whole fanfic for it in the notes of my service-less basically-ipod-with-extra-features little phone and made cheesy nextgens and everything. and if it wasn't mlp then it was how to train your dragon for sure, i was obsessed with reading fics from the dragons' POVs where they found more night furies and stuff. also crossovers. i had a grand old time!

23: the fandom i'm curious about because of a mutual

i can't think of any i'm interested because of a MUTUAL SPECIFICALLY, but god the amount of people putting that gay firefighter show on my dash has gotten me INTRIGUED. i actually went and tried to watch it but i couldn't and the intrigue has faded with my failure but its still there a little bit. also bridgerton, i've been seeing lots of bridgerton on the dash and it is tempting me. OH ALSO! i almost forgot, but interview with a vampire! and i actually did give into temptation with that one and watch the first episode while eating dinner a couple nights ago, it was absolutely amazing.

24: how has fandom positively impacted my life?

i think the biggest positive impact i've gotten from fandom is the sheer volume of interactions ive had with other people, and the friends i've gotten from that. like, i still have you from when i was mainly posting about teen wolf, and i've made so many great connections in the dbd fandom, whether they're just people i've made an impression on with my art and writing or people i've formed full friendships with (shoutout to nimm @babyseraphim for being probably the best friend ive made in this fandom? i love how loving dbd enabled me to meet and connect with you over so much OTHER stuff we have in common).

i really just love being able to connect with so many people over common interests and opinions; i've gotten a lot more outgoing/confident lately, irl as well as online, and i feel like fandom is at least partially to thank for that. ❤️

[heich0e]

wait if you said that you're gonna stop the oopsy baby series 'for now' are you implying that you're gonna continue it at some point in the future or....? 🤨

I've gotten way more asks about this than I expected, and I won't reply to them all to spare your dash (since they mainly address the same things) but in the interest of transparency here are the highlights:

1. Are you going to continue the mini megumi series? /post any other parenthood fics?

I honestly don't know. I was going to add more to this reply but I've just been staring at the screen for like 10 minutes.

2. Why?

A couple of reasons, but if I'm being really honest I saw a lot of mutuals (who I sincerely like and respect, present tense) posting about how much they dislike parenthood/pregnancy fics and how sick they make them feel and it just didn't feel good.

I want to be really really clear that I TRULY and wholeheartedly believe that everyone is entitled to like what they like, and dislike what they dislike. But the problem is that when you express those opinions while disparaging the people whose opinion are different from yours, or if you choose to be vocal about your dislike of something when you see someone enjoying it, it can be really hurtful. It made me feel uncomfortable about continuing the series if I knew people felt that way and I was possibly upsetting them.

3. Is it because of the "exclusionary" ask?

No! This all happened before I received (or at least saw) that ask. And while I do completely and totally understand where that anon was coming from, and I support them 100% in sharing that very valid criticism with me, the fic probably wouldn't have changed because of it—though I would have started putting a tag in the updates alerting readers to the fact that Kota is described at multiple points throughout the story as being identical to Megumi in case it was sensitizing/alienating/in any way offensive to them.

The inspiration for the fic was that a child who is virtually identical to him shows up at his doorstep, and the entire series is predicated on that idea. I should have made that much clearer at the outset and I really apologize for my oversight and to anyone who I hurt by being careless in that way. I have since gone back and edited each instalment to feature a warning about this in the header, and hope that people who will feel excluded by this plot point can make whatever decision feels best for them in regards to engaging with the fic!

4. I don't like you.

Me neither.

5. I love parenthood fics and I think you should keep writing them.

I also like parenthood fics, and I think they're fun to write! And this is coming from someone who isn't even sure they ever want to have kids themselves. But sort of nodding back to point 2, I don't want to post any kind of fic that people who i consider friends begin vocally posting about disliking. Especially because I really don't follow that many people, so when every third post on my dash is dunking on the trope I'm actively posting about, it just makes me feel kind of sad and unwelcome.

This is absolutely NOT intended to be an indirect/vague about those moots, and if you're reading this I hope you know that I mean that from the BOTTOM of my heart. They are JUST as entitled to this space as I am, and I am in no way at all trying to impose myself and my opinions onto them. I just don't know how to filter anti-trope content from my user experience without inadvertently also filtering the content I DO want to see, and if I'm being honest I just don't think it's not worth losing mutuals who I really like over.

I'm saying all of this with nothing but love, and I hope that no one is too upset about it. I'm sorry if you were enjoying the series and now aren't sure about its future. I'm sorry if me expressing the way I was hurt makes you feel bad too. I'm really logging off now for a bit, and I hope you all take care of yourselves!! Be good, sending love, talk soon <3

[scarlettgauthor]

[to the tune of Tom Cardy's Big Breakfast]

I don't regret ordering the BIG BATH TUB I know I'll feel so good when I'm... INSIDE THE BIG BATH TUB

OKAY SO if you've read anything I've ever written you might be aware that I have a deep and abiding love of a Big Bathtub. Tragically, this was something I did not have access to in my personal life, as the house we bought had a baby tub for babies who don't like baths. Seriously, this thing was 15" tall on the outside and maybe had 12" of soaking depth if you were lucky. I still took baths, but I complained about it the whole time.

No more.

Now I have Big Bathtub!!!! Look at it! LOOK AT IT!!! I can get my boobs AND my knees underwater at the same time! I'm gonna be making cauldrons of lady soup in there! My 6'1" wife is gonna be able to take baths and be comfortable!

If you can't find me, look for me in the Big Bathtub.

(Don't look for me.)

"Scarlett!" I hear you (a rhetorical device) saying, "I love that for you, but I am also jealous! How do I get a Big Bathtub of my very own?"

Well, my friend, if there's one thing I love more than Big Bathtub, it is oversharing about home improvement projects.

SPECIFIC MONEY TALK TO FOLLOW

Given how absolutely fucking impossible it is to find any guidance online about how much this shit costs when you're just starting the research, I'll start here: This cost us $11,466.16 and took two days to install. We live in a very high COL area, and from what other research I did and estimates we got, $10-12k was about what we could expect to pay for a new bathtub and shower surround that wasn't The Same Fiberglass Shit We Already Had, AND we would have had to bring in multiple contractors.

Some necessary background: My wife and I bought our house about eleven years ago, when house prices in Seattle were at a historic low. My mom gifted us money for the down payment, which was a huge privilege, but if she gifted us the same amount of money now it would buy us precisely jack and shit. We have the stability we have due to a rare combination of privilege and luck, and I am grateful for it literally every day.

The incredibly low price we bought this house at also allowed us to manage to stay afloat through our last seven-ish years of chronic under-employment. I won't get deeply into the details, but we spent a lot of time in a place where buying myself a package of nice butter was a luxury I had to plan for. A little over a year ago my wife got a really good job (after a year of unemployment) and this summer I got a much-overdue promotion at my day job and a significant raise! Between those two things, we've finally been in a place where we can save money for house projects instead of going into debt for them, which still seems like a fucking miracle! It hasn't gotten old yet! I don't know if it ever will!

Flush on that success, earlier this this fall I got quotes for an addition on the house (something we've wanted almost since we moved in, since it's 800 square feet and has just the one tiny bathroom) and learned it would cost AT LEAST 150% MORE than we paid for this house in the first place!!! Like we could buy a whole-ass house in a cheaper area for the cost of adding on to this one! HAHAHAHA NO!! 😭😬

After a couple days of crushing disappointment I decided this meant we could pursue smaller improvements to make the house we have into a house we love, and first on the list was Big Bathtub!

Being generally handy people (ask about the shed my wife built sometime) we looked at buying a nice tub at a showroom and having a plumber install it, but plumbers don't install shower surrounds. Okay, so we figured we could probably install a shower surround? And my dad (a retired general contractor) could help? But this isn't a kitchen counter, this is a bathroom, and in this house we don't fuck with stuff that need waterproofing. We decided we wanted someone who could handle the whole thing, so I requested quotes from remodel contractors but they all told me my project was too small!

Enter Bath Planet. They're a one-stop shop that does custom full bath surround installs with a ton of options. The sales guy who did the estimate had color and material samples with him and dug through all the options to get me the deepest bathtub possible. This sucker's 22" tall! The cost included wrapping the entire window so the sill would be waterproof! If there was damage to the subfloor, they'd repair it before installing the tub at no additional cost! The warranty is really good!

(Oh man I've become such an adult.)

Not gonna lie, the quoted price was 😬😬😬 when he was done, but we couldn't argue with the quality or convenience and we were looking at a cost of close to $7k if we bought a big tub, had a plumber installed it, and then DIYed the surround (with no guarantees about how long that would make our only bathroom unusable!) so we bit the bullet and put down a deposit.

In related news, my wife and I are giving each other very few presents this Christmas, since the tub was our main gift 😂 Our savings are... Very depleted right now, so we're gonna have to hunker down for a few months to rebuild before we can think about any other house projects or expensive fun stuff, but what we lack in money, we make up for in bathtub!

As far as the timeline went, we got the initial quote on 9/20, put down our deposit that day, and then the install happened over 12/6 and 12/7. The installer was great, the work happened exactly as it was supposed to, and now we have BIG BATHTUB.

This was a wall of text, I know! If anyone has questions I didn't answer here, though, I'm happy to answer them. It's so rough trying to find home reno information out on the wide internet, and contractor websites are worse than useless for the purpose.

Meanwhile, I will be in the Big Bathtub.