#//I LIVE FOR FIVE MINUTES

[thepurplebones]

[lizardkingeliot]

"Who makes me laugh the most? Uh, Jacob."

[desert--moonchild]

Maddie wasn’t snooping.  

She honestly wasn’t.

She really was just trying to be a good big sister and help her brother and future brother-in-law out by dropping off a package for Buck that had been sent to her house due to cheaper shipping (“why is it like twenty bucks cheaper, you live twenty minutes away”). Buck and Tommy’s place was on her daily commute to the dispatch center and it just made sense for her to take the package over to them since neither of them had the time since coming back from their weekend getaway to Vegas two weeks ago.

Both of them were on shift but she still had a house key from when she’d been watering their plants while they were gone.  So it should’ve just been a quick in and out and she’d be on her way home.

And then she stopped and got the mail.  See she really was just trying to be a good big sister— truly, she was.  The mailman had been pulling away from the curb as she pulled up and in the spirit of being helpful she stopped by the mailbox to grab their mail.  

And out of habit in grabbing her own mail she started flipping through it as she set the package down on the table in the entryway.

And that’s when she saw it.

The envelope.

The return address was a P.O. Box from Las Vegas, Nevada with it addressed to Mr. Evan Buckley and Mr. Thomas Kinard of Los Angeles, California.

And printed in big black lettering across crisp white paper, right above Buck and Tommy’s names.

REGARDING MARRIAGE DOCUMENTS

Maddie stared at it.

And then she stared at it some more.

She put the mail down in the mail bowl and blinked, scrubbed at her eyes to make sure she just didn't have something in her eye and blinked again. She picked the envelope back up and stared at it again. 

Yup— still there. 

MARRIAGE

She put the envelope back down and hummed for a few moments before she pulled out her phone and pulled up Buck’s name.

Maddie:  Hey… when you went to Vegas, did you happen to get married?

Buck responded back almost instantly.

Buck:  …

Buck:  why would you think that???

Maddie quickly snapped a picture of the envelope and sent it back to him.

Buck: oh

Buck: uh… hahah surprise?

[collophora]

TBB cadets ideas

[jeeaark]

Ok but imagine. greygold porting back and finds the emps panicking and trying to figure out to locate them and then turns around and sees they are completely fine. Except for a now beautiful full stash on their squid face.

Aight, I imagined, I loved, and I'm ✨inspired✨ Although perhaps not the cute stash bit as Greygold got a lil too GloomGold saying goodbye to Lae'zel, but have a silly nonetheless-

Bonus when Greygold's feeling better again:

[kettlefire]

Time forgets most (DPxDC)

I've been getting too many brain worms that I need to clear out the cramp space that is my idea vault. In doing so, I'm just posting off-handed, random things I've typed up at work. (Partly so my drafts don't just end up like my vault). Without further ado, a much too too long post

°•°•°•°

The movement of time is a much too complex thing for many to understand. The knowledge that time was not perfectly linear. The past did not simply stay in the past. The future is not simply something to look forward to. The present is not simply a fleeting moment.

Time is a complex web. Every point in time, connected to another point in time. A never-ending mess of webs and connections. Things that are to be. Things that can be. Things that are being. Things that will never see the light of day in this universe.

Despite what some may want to believe, Time has no master. Time does not yield to any singular being. That did not mean that Time didn't need a helping hand. A guiding hand to help keep the chaos of time to something just a little more... fluid.

The being came to exist well before the universe had. The being was festered, taught, and nurtured in a small pocket dimension. A small space just like an incubator.

Until the world blossomed around it. Life started to grow. Time kept moving. Living organisms found untimely deaths. Evolved, learned, and grew into the new space around it.

When the first little creature crawled out of the water, Time's keeper was let free. A bumbling little thing, breaming with life and curiosity.

Just like everything else in the world, this keeper wasn't safe from time. It still moved. Brought forth problems and adventures.

As time continued to tick. Moving in every direction, the keeper continued to age. Unlike the rest of the universe, the keeper didn't age the same as others.

Some days, he was nothing but a small boy, frolicking in a field of flowers and bees. Other days, he was a strong middle-aged man. Pulling the strings in just the right way, pushing for a timeline that felt right.

On days that have been happening much more often. He was but a crippled old man, hunched over his staff, and dropping much needed wisdom on the young lives around him.

Being the keeper of time wasn't an easy feat. Being completely out of time, experiencing things in broken order. There was only a clear start, and a jumble of things that followed.

The keeper was content with his life. Watching over the world as it grew and blossomed. He was content with his special kind of solitude.

That was until he saw the boy. In the webs of moments, the keeper's gaze had found him. A boy much too young, suddenly with powers much too great thrusted upon him.

The keeper watched the scenes play out. The tears, laughter, humiliation, triumph, and pain. He watched as the boy's family was ripped from him. Watched the twisted attempt at fixing his life, only for it to go horribly wrong.

He watched the bloodshed and chaos that erupted. The lives ripped apart and destroyed. Not a single sign of life left behind.

Then he watched as the boy, no, not a boy anymore. The keeper watched as the monster tore through the fabric of time. Ripped its way through the thin veils that divided the universes.

Universes that had never known the boy's existence were torn to shreds to. A flight driven with pain and anger.

Despite the keeper having seen the boy turn into such a monster. He could see it in the beast's eyes. The deep-seated need for a family, a life. To be loved.

Something about the boy's life, his story, spoke to the keeper. He found himself reaching out into the web of lives and moments. Finding the moment when things went the most wrong for the boy.

Just like that, the keeper had inserted himself into a life. He pulled the boy out of the cruel stream of time. Filled the boy with the knowledge he needed. Let the boy see just what could happen if he let it.

The keeper of time was soon a simple mentor. A simple deity looking out for the world. Taking on the mantel of Clockwork and finding a new purpose for his life.

A young boy's life has been flipped upside down two times now. And there were certainly more to come. This time, the boy wasn't alone. He had a guiding hand, and a communtiy behind him.

The keeper, no, Clockwork watched with a strange pride and happiness he hadn't felt in a long time. The boy was quickly surrounded by a family that helped him navigate his new powers.

Clockwork, alongside many of the other ghostly beings, watched on with pride as the young boy grew into a strong young man. Mastering powers, taking a stand, and making their home safe.

Despite the best efforts, time always beings problems.

It was one thing for Clockwork. He was the keeper of time. His life has reason to exist as long as time exists. Which will always be. His purpose was infinite.

But this boy... Danny wasn't like Clockwork. He was still partially human and terrified of losing his humanity. Danny's story had to come to an end, it's how time works.

Except, Danny wasn't in the timeline anymore. Clockwork had ensured that, pulled Danny into a separate timeline. An unaccounted for timeline.

He couldn't live here forever, not the way that Clockwork could. Danny needs a life, a family, a place, a purpose. He was still human.

It took more effort than Clockwork would have liked. He had to cash in favors from other deities that he hadn't spoken to in centuries.

It took a combined effort of everyone who cared for the little halfa. The strange boy that teeter on the line between life and death. The boy who had freed the Zone from a tyrant. Who wanted nothing more than for everyone to live a happy and filled life/afterlife.

Getting the magic and spells right was the hard part. But finding the location was easy. A beautiful planet just on the edge of the Milky Way. Unlikely to be disturbed or hurt.

The planet was undiscovered, primative even. Far enough from humans that Clockwork was certain Danny wouldn't be bothered. Only one species lived on that planet. Along the jungle like fauna, and in the water.

Cute little guys, barely bigger than two feet long and one foot tall. There was no name, no knowledge about them. Aside from Clockwork analyzing their way of life.

A simple cycle. They were born, they aged, they played, fed, mated, and then died. A simple but content life.

The aliens weren't unsettling. At least not to anyone who has seen more creatures than what Earth has to offer. It is a strange combination between frog, fish, and squid.

Scurrying around on two legs and four tentacles. A small frog-like face with eyes that seemed to take up half that space. Colors vary from blues to greens to the same sandy brown found at the bottom of the lakes.

Before long, the planet had its own protector. A young boy who once was lost and alone seemed to meld perfectly with these aliens.

Clockwork was always sure of himself. He never let anyone see otherwise. Except, Clockwork hadn't been sure. Not when he had performed the ritual.

As he molded and changed Danny's DNA until the man was a new being entirely. To anyone who didn't know the full story, the boy could easily look related to the aliens.

Gills now painted the sides of his neck, not necessary, but Clockwork felt like it had been. Webbed hands and feet to make transversing the underwater caves even easier. An ethereal, almost siren-like touch to Danny.

It worked out perfectly. Danny settled in easily. Building a routine and bound with the aliens. It hadn't been hard for the little creature to take a liking to him.

Before long, it was routine. Danny would spend most of his time on the planet, watching over his new wards. On some days, he'd portal back to the zone. Spend time with the ghosts and deities that saved his life. To check in on the new govermental system that had been put in place.

It was perfect. Simple and nice. Everyone got complacent. The longer time went on without a hiccup or a problem. The longer Danny was able to rest in his odd solitude. The more people got comfortable.

The more they forgot that time was as cruel as it was forgiving.

It had been just another day cycle. Danny was playing with the most recent litter birth. The first time he had seen the birth, he was more disgusted than anything else.

After the third time, Danny had started getting excited. He looked forward to it. Loved seeing the aliens flourish and grow. Watching them thrive and find more fun in the things Danny creates. Every new fun game or obstacle was always made with the things natural to the planet. Or debris that was caught in its gravitational pull.

Danny was playing with Plop. The little guy got his name, and he always plopped out of the water. Unlike the other aliens, this one didn't crawl out. No, he'd pull himself out of the water with his tentacles, only to plop down on the ground.

Of course, Plop had also been the first alien to approach Danny when he arrived. It's how they formed such a strong bond.

Everything had seemed perfectly fine. The day was rolling along just like it always did. That was until a small group of the more elder aliens suddenly came scurrying into their main cave.

They hadn't waited a second before diving into the water. Danny watched, confused and concerned, as each one of them grabbed one of the young. Before shooting straight into the underwater cave system.

The once bustling and living cave was suddenly eerily quiet and void of any aliens. Leaving behind only the confused Danny in the pool.

At least that's what a certain Green Lantern saw when he followed the trail of retreating aliens.

This planet had been categorized to have no signs of intelligent life. It seemed to have the option to nurture life, but there had been no signs.

When Hal Jordan got word of a seeming spike of activity from the supposedly empty planet, he had added it to his rooster.

A quick peek, just a look into what kind of life might be starting to grow there. The little aliens he had seen were adorable, sure. But they didn't seem all that evolved. Still in their evolutionary journey.

That was until Hal saw him.

Now, Hal was no stranger to running into ethereal beauty. It's what happens when someone interacts with aliens on a basic daily. That was something he was used to.

Except, all his breath seemed to be knocked out of him completely. The cave alone was stunning, a stark contrast from the almost barren surface he had first seen.

A deep, shimmering blue pool that vanished into the rocky space around it. Trees, bushes, and flowers decorate the area. It looked almost too good to be true. Like an oasis in the middle of a desert.

Then there was the being that caught all of Hal's attention. Bright blue eyes that looked like gems, pale blue-tinged skin. Long black and white hair seemed to look almost like the night sky. A deep abyss littered with stars.

The closest thing that Hal's brain supplied was a siren. A beautiful, ethereal creature that lured men to their deaths. As beautiful as it seemed, Hal knew there could easily be danger.

Except, the creature didn't attack or threaten him.

Instead, he seemed almost shy. Mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water, sharp deadly teeth flashing in the light with each motion.

Hal had just opened his mouth, taken a hesitant step forward. He wanted to know, and he needed to know how this happened. There wasn't supposed to be an intelligent, sophisticated life on this planet.

The moment Hal's lips parted, the creature let out a trill. A sound that seemed more scared than aggressive. Before suddenly, the beautiful creature vanished into the pool.

Hal moved before he could think, rushing to the edge of the pool. He peered into the crystal clear water, just in time to take the webbed feet of the creature vanish into a tunnel.

Now that left Hal with two options. He could either report this and wait for backup...

Or...

Or...

He could jump inside. The ring would protect him, and his lungs would be fine. Perks of being a Green Lantern.

That option seemed much more tempting to Hal. Nothing about this scream an outright threat. He felt more like a strange imposing on someone's home. A home that was meant for safety and protection of the young.

Yet, the shimmering water seemed to be calling to Hal. Something in him was trying to push him to get inside. To find the beautiful creature and learn more. Learn how this happened.

Without realizing it, Hal Jordan sealed his fate the moment he dipped a finger into the cool pool. Rippling the steady surface just slightly.

Just enough to get him wrapped up in the strange web created by time and its keeper.

[shorthaltsjester]

you ever think about vex and percy being so stand-offish and snarky to vox machina but vex being the first one to call them all family and percy cushioning scanlan’s leaving by reminding them they are a family, and percy quietly confessing to grog that it’s nice to have an older brother again? you ever think about the fact that percy and vex, members of a party that — except on rare occasions — existed as a group of seven, had five kids?

[tevanbuckley]

“ppl have a right to be upset about a show sexualising their traumas”

oh grow up. fr as someone who has enough family bs and childhood trauma to last several lifetimes, if you’re so unable to separate out your own shit that you feel genuinely hurt by a pretty tame daddy joke then that is frankly a you problem you need to deal with on your own time.

“this thing made me personally uncomfy because i, personally, have issues.” =/= “this thing is immoral and shouldn’t have been allowed.”

[lbhslefttiddie]

im so fucking mad. why did i work so hard on this. there isnt even a single gay bitch in this image all i have is latticework and osmanthus studies

[wreckedandpolemic]

thinking about matty having a gf and sharing her with george while being on tour 🥺👉🏼👈🏼

this made me bluescreen! good job! thinking about matty inviting you along on tour like need somethin’ pretty to look at to keep my spirits up, yeah? m’sure i can keep you busy somehow and of course you agree in a heartbeat, find yourself bent over and filled up whenever and wherever you want.

a couple of weeks in, you start getting self-conscious about the knowing looks the others are throwing you, and especially that george’s are blatantly lust-filled. george keeps looking at me like he wants to fuck me, you tell him, lips loosened by the echoes of pleasure still coursing through your body. matty’s reaction is the polar opposite of what you’d expected, his lips parting softly as he murmurs is that something you’d want, sweet girl?

the question sends heat dripping through your core, and you nod. y’wanna be a good little toy for us both? yeah? we can do that, angel. and he dirty talks you about it all night, murmuring that you’d look so pretty full of him, baby. god, such a good girl, always just wanna please, huh?

and, of course, the three of you have a serious, sit-down discussion about it, but where’s the fun without any roleplay? so george watches you with matty like it’s the most normal thing in the world, lazily palming himself through his jeans. when he cums, matty turns to george like d’you want a turn? looks like you need it, mate. she’s so sweet, all ready for you. makes such a perfect little cumdump.

your entire body feels like it’s on fire, teasing humiliation prickling arousal under your skin. you grin over at george, turning your best fuck-me eyes on him as he approaches you slowly. his jeans crumple to the floor and your mouth waters at the sheer fucking size of him. you ready, baby? you nod eagerly. please. the stretch and burn when he enters you is fucking glorious, heat throbbing between your legs as george fucks you like a toy. matty watches on, almost proud, as you whimper and writhe under george.

he finishes on your chest, spits into the mess and swipes his fingers through. you suck them clean eagerly, grinning dazedly up at george as he gets dressed. y’ever need to take out some stress, mate, you know where she is, matty says, his condescending tone as he speaks like you’re not even there turning your already-soupy mind to mush. she’s such a good girl, she’ll take anything, he adds proudly, and you nod feverishly.

being shared between them is like a dream, never more than a few hours from a good fuck. your favourite nights, though, are the ones where they take you at the same time, one fucking your mouth while the other fucks your cunt. even when tour ends, it’s not uncommon for george to come over for some stress relief, making you cum on his dick until you can barely breathe while matty looks on with lust-black eyes. yeah. hot.

[lloydfrontera]

i'm also obsessed with lloyd still thinking about javier's looks even when he's five seconds away from dying. he's so upset he's gonna die for javier's handsome ass. he's literally like "you better live a good long life after this you bastard. and i hope you lose your hair and get stinky feet" cause he thinks it's unfair javier will not only get to live but also continue on being unnaturally pretty.

he really said

[hammity-hammer]

steve harrington realizing that he’s got no purpose if he’s not protecting the people he loves from outer-dimensional beings, and has a minor (read: major) spiral about it post-vecna & the party fixing everything. he’s just a regular ole 20 something with no purpose— his friends are all in school, except eddie, who managed to pick up an apprenticeship as an electrician; putting all of that wire knowledge to use (just not in cars, he hasn’t hotwired one since 1986 and he’d like to keep it that way si vous plais) and making the rich houses have even cooler guts than they deserve.

the kids end up graduating (their first tries) and heading as one little pack to the same school (don’t ask me which, i’m a college drop out) and steve, eddie, and rob end up staying just outside of indy. rob finished school early, because of course she did, and she found that she may have a knack for hanging around high schoolers, so why not teach them how to become polyglots like she is?

steve still doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing— he bartends at a little club in the gayborhood, because they went there so often that the bartenders just kind of pushed him into it, and don’t get him wrong— mixing drinks and flirting all night is super fun, but it also… is kind of depressing? even if he gets to be around people like him and see them happy— he knows that a lot of alcohol and drugs causes that happiness and he wants so badly for his people to be out and proud and not murdered for it. but he can’t do that,, so he does the next best thing.

he talks with one of the regulars, andy, who owns a little tattoo shop on the corner, and andy invites him to come check it out. so he does the next day he’s free, and holy fucking christ. tattoos aren’t his thing— at least not on himself, but on other people they’re gorgeous. and they’re painful, but you’re turning the pain into art and you get to live with it in your skin and look at it and think about the fact that you’re here and you made it and you fucking survived. and people purposefully put scars into their bodies? and not in the i-battled-literal-other-dimensional-beings-and-won kind of way, or the i-battled-my-personal-demons-and-won kind of way, which both are things he’s dealt with so fucking intimately— but in the i-will-decorate-this-flesh-prison-and-make-it-a-castle kind of way, and that’s fucking beautiful. queer people taking their bodies and making them into art with ink and hot metal and needles and the love that they have for each other and the passion and the fucking spite at the world that keeps them going and making their presences KNOWN.

and maybe he gets some piercings while he’s there— it’s fascinating and feels so weird and freeing when the needle punctures his flesh and the jewelry goes in— and now he’s got a shiny little ring hanging through his earlobe; his nostril; his lip.

he learns that piercings take time and effort and care and that he has to treat himself with love to be able to heal— and that he is deserving of that love and care and dedication, especially from himself.

he keeps going back, maybe not always to get stabbed, but to watch others have it done. to see how different people’s anatomy takes different piercings, how he can’t have a piercing through his cheeks because he bites them too much when he’s anxious, but the girl that just left got both of hers done and they looked good. they fit her face, like little shiny dimples.

eventually, the piercer, killie, asks steve when he’s going to help them with their needles and their piercings— and he doesn’t know how to react because he hadn’t even thought about it and yet… maybe he could help other people fall in love with themselves and their bodies and help turn them into art one day

maybe he could be a pretty boy with his scars and his metal and his missing chunks and his polos and his jeans and his sneakers.

[foldingfittedsheets]

Oh my god. I have genuinely not known this whole time if the ship between Marcille and Falin in Dungeon Meshi is just a collective Tumblr thing like with Ash Ketchum’s mom and Jessie from Team Rocket or if those girls actually be gay for each other.

This morning I saw a gifset of them in a bath together and then two gifs in Tumblr crashed. I went to scroll back down to find it again and as I was reading it my phone died.

I literally still don’t know if that was a fan edit or those girls had a really sapphic bath experience and I guess I’ll have to wait and see because trying to search for a specific Dungeon Meshi post on the Dungeon Meshi website is impossible.

Edit: got a link thank you!

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

I always thought that handcuffs were kinda stupid. As a little kid I would watch movies where the bad guys were hauled away in cuffs and I'd always think "alright, I guess that's inconvenient for them?" but I never really understood why they didn't just... take them off and escape

This curiosity heightened when I saw that my aunt had real metal handcuffs that locked with a real key and I quickly, before any adult could see what I was doing, shackled both my wrists with the cuffs as tight as they could go.

And when I say tight, I mean tight. I had reaaaaal skinny wrists and I was a child wearing adult handcuffs, so you'd think the cuffs would be loose but nope. Those things weren't circular anymore, they'd folded in so much that they looked more like the shape a cat's pupils turn when they're mad.

And what they don't tell you about real handcuffs? Those suckers are sharp. The inside edges are almost bladed, I guess to discourage exactly what I was trying to do but that certainly didn't stop my curious lil neurodivergent brain, oh no no.

Anyway, after about five minutes of pulling, straining, huffing and puffing, I finally went to find the adult with the key.

I was so disappointed.

And so, so hopelessly confused.

Course, no one questioned why I had locked my aunt's handcuffs and why I needed them unlocked. And, of course, I didn't communicate my confusion in any way.

So it wasn't until way later in life, when I had quickly shimmied out of one of those indestructible water park wristbands and saw the horrified eyes of my friends watching me with morbid glee, that I discovered that, apparently, most people can't dislocate their thumbs at will.

The moral of the story here is that neurodivergent children have no concept of typical versus atypical and that I cannot be contained by your petty mortal means.

[melit0n]

"Like lovers entwined...I know for the last time; you will not be mine. So give me the night, the night, the night."

[beachboysnatural]

In every timeline Ryu Sun-jae is accosted by an absolutely insane woman and every timeline he falls head over heels for her