thepurplebones

[thepurplebones]

we need to start romanticizing doing household chores in tank tops and sweatpants in the same way that we romanticize knighthood and i am not fucking kidding

[thepurplebones]

[thepurplebones]

as a phrase, “she [x] on my [x] til’ i [x]” only is funny if on either side of a spectrum. either the phrase ends so specific to a sexual action it’s a smart joke (for example, “she strogan me off til i beef” uses the word “beef stroganoff’ but also makes a “stroking off” joke, making it clever wordplay.) or it makes so little sense that it ends up funny from the absurdity of deciphering what type of sexual action could even be taking place. (example: when my roomate the other night asked to hand them a sanpelligrino and then said “she san on my pelli til’ i grino” which begs the question of what ‘sanning’ is, what a ‘pelli’ repersents in terms of human genitalia and what ‘grinoing’ could possibly be.)

[thepurplebones]

if you read books titled "A Blank of Blank and Blank" i dont want to hear your opinion ‼️

[thepurplebones]

Made a new playlist but so far it only has 2 songs in it

[thepurplebones]

Demons are real and they write for the new york times.

[thepurplebones]

i’m so glad earth only has one moon, if there were more i’d have to pick a favorite and that sounds too emotionally taxing to even fathom

[thepurplebones]

[thepurplebones]

lmao

[thepurplebones]

Taking the kids trick or treating in the fun neighborhood this year!

[thepurplebones]

november 1 mood

[thepurplebones]

*slowly removes my heart-shaped sunglasses* i beg your fucking pardon

[thepurplebones]

Top reasons for there to be a kneeling knight emoji

- Defending women online

- Offering women support when they are in distress

- Commenting on a woman's selfie

- Offering to kill people bothering your online friend

- Sexual reasons

[thepurplebones]

) <- super parenthesis. reblog to close all parentheticals you opened and forgot to close in your life and return to equilibrium

[thepurplebones]

[thepurplebones]

[thepurplebones]