#// spoiler alert : Everything Is Not Dandy
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hazbinhazbinhazbinreblog · 11 months ago
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HELLOOOOOO
I have been semi stalking and poking my head into this account a lot since I adore fanfic anons content. And I would like to propose my own little AU and maybe fanfics for a later date (keyword, maybe since I may also post these onto my ao3) BUT LE CONSIDER:
Based semi on the AU from user AppleParty on Twitter, mainly just one idea, the one where Alastor is Lucifer’s personal guard, the rest is my own.
Basic gist: Alastor makes a deal with Lucifer. Lucifer grants Alastor all the power he desires, but Alastor has to vow to protect Charlie with his life and try and help parent her as Lucifer knows he is not in the right mental state to do so anymore. So Alastor ends up vanishing for 7+ years to help raise and protect the Princess of Hell, while also having a budding friendship with Lucifer (So Hell's Greatest Dad turns from dad off to a tongue and cheek teasing match).
Everything is fine and dandy, some of the same plot points from the pilot happen instead with the inclusion of Alastor. Vaggie and Alastor also have a more mutual respect but not friends yet relationship. The interview goes horribly wrong and Vaggie has to hold Alastor back from ripping Katie Killjoy’s head off. The scene in the limo is more tense as Angel is avoiding the piss off guard dog that is the radio demon now. Alastor tries to cheer Charlie up by cashing in some favors by calling up Nifty and Husk, probably in this AU, Husk is still not an overlord as Alastor owns his soul still, but Husk has more power and having to raise Charlie probably has matured Alastor more so him and Husk are more on even ground and Alastor looks at Husk as more as an advice giver when he needs it. Nifty is just Nifty. The two agree to work at the hotel as they are doing Alastor a favor and they believe in Charlie’s dream. Alastor is up for debate as he may only be doing this because he has to since he is her personal guard or he actually believes in it. The only thing he will say on the matter is he finds it entertaining and he can’t wait to see the chaos start.
All things are going good, they plan on celebrating and everything until a knock comes to the door. Alastor excuses himself, shooing off Vaggie to tell her she should be with her girlfriend, he will handle the matters. He goes to answer the door, being speaking in a manner tone until he opens his eyes and is greeted to
Vox
BECAUSE YEAH SPOILER ALERT THIS IS A STATICRADIO AU HAHAHAH
Alastor’s smile drops and he hisses in anger and slams the door shut in Vox’s face, not even giving the Overlord a chance to speak as he storms back into the lobby. Cue Charlie having to rush over and mediate everything and bring Vox in, who saw the interview on TV and wants to sponsor the hotel. Because well, hey it would be good money and it would be funny to see Charlie try and redeem sinners. But everyone can TELL there is tension between him and Alastor, like the scary kind of tension when you have no clue if person a is gonna lunge and rip out person b’s throat. But you know its there since they have a history together.
Cue all the hijinks that ensue as Alastor and Vox have to try and repair their relationship while also helping Charlie out with her dream. Also more chaos than normal since Alastor probably accompanies Charlie to more places than in canon.
But that is all hehe. Am gonna give myself a sign off so people know who I am soo
-⚔️aka “Hotel’s Radio Guard AU” (work in title au name) Anon!
I love your energy my friend, on this blog we appreciate fanfic anon, spamming, and all kinds of AUs
The beginning of this is similar to dadstaticradio au (except lucifer instead of lilith ofc) but there is no issue I take with that bc I love it
Also referring to Alastor as guard dog and "Niffty is just Niffty" made me laugh, if you ever do post on Ao3 pls tag me in it or sent a link in asks and I'll share it on your behalf
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littlest-nightingale · 6 months ago
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Nobody asked but here's my newwho agere timeline lmao (9-15)
Okay so we start with Rose. Rose is a certified silly little lady. Okay well lady makes it sound like she's all prim and proper but she isn't. Anyway Rose regresses. her mom doesn't know, and neither does Mickey. But because she's spending sooo much time with The Doctor and he's already... well, a time traveling alien (and therefore used to "weird" things) she entirely trusts him with her regression. (honestly slay. i don't think it gets much cooler than having a time traveler for a cg so go off) BUT ANYWAY The Doctor has briefly heard of agere but never seen it, it just never interested him as much as the myriad of other fun things about humanity. But now he's got Rose and he's definitely at least going to try taking care of her. And he's. okay at it. a bit too protective but he's still fun and very willing to learn. they make friendship bracelets. he knows more about my little pony than he ever intended to. and notably, the TARDIS has a playroom now. There are stars on the ceiling and bed with a blanket nest and shelves and shelves of silly little toys because he just can't say no to her and it's great.
Then he regenerates and. uh oh
Rose, on top of being stressed about, uh, EVERYTHING ELSE is also worried about loosing her caregiver. Spoiler alert: that doesn't happen. Ten is a wonderful caregiver, even more playful and silly yet still very protective (he actually time travels with her when she's regressed, which is more than can be said for Nine) and everything is fine and dandy until uh oh, he loses Rose! fuck!!!
During the time between Rose and Martha he doesn't touch that playroom at all because uh oh! guilt! grief!!!!!!! all around sad! The big big sad!
That doesn't stop the Doctor from trying to regress himself, after a while. it's helpful, he 100% understands why Rose regressed so often. Anyway.
by the time Martha comes around he's doing it pretty often. he's never going to tell her shit about it, but when she isn't there, he's regressing pretty often.
Around the time he finds Donna again, he's actually opened up the playroom again, slightly adjusting it for himself but still keeping most of Rose's stuff. Donna doesn't know, but she does buy him a rather pathetic and skinny little stuffed animal as a joke, because it reminded her of him. it's his best friend.
Then, he regenerated into 11. 11 doesn't regress the entire time he's traveling with Amy, because Amy is a little and he ends up as her cg, and he doesn't tell her because he doesn't want her to worry. Rory is, understandably, a little bit pissed that Amy trusted the Doctor with her regression while he, HER HUSBAND, didn't know, but do you think they're going to address it? no. no they are not.
After Amy and Rory die, all of Amy's things were shoved into a closet in the playroom during a fit of grief and not touched for decades, because it just felt wrong to move them afterward.
While 11 is hiding in the clouds above London, he regresses involuntarily a LOT. he's just. very very sad.
When Clara comes along, girliepop figures out pretty quickly that he's hiding something from her, and when she finds out she pretty much instantly takes up the role of caregiver. he is a sopping wet blanket of a man and goddamnit she's going to take care of him!!! 11 is incredibly hyper on days when he isn't regressed due to stress, he's bouncing off the walls crazy insane and Clara is insanely good with him. oh. and he's a leash kid. you cannot take him anywhere (not that that stops her from doing so) She gets him a little giraffe and some teethers and little sensory toys and y'know. he's her little guy 🥺🥺
And then we get to 12. 12, unlike 11, isn't very open about his regression at all. in fact, he actually tries to convince her he doesn't regress anymore, but Clara isn't dumb and sees right through it. Once he stops being a stubborn little bastard Clara realizes just how low energy he is. when 12 regresses, most of the time he just curls up and goes to sleep. She doesn't really need to do anything other than be there most of the time. they eventually get him a bean bag that goes next to Clara's desk in the TARDIS, so while she grades and does work he curls up and naps or plays with his sensory board or just sits there and watches. he's just very, very tired. they are the definition of the "excuse me he asked for no pickles" meme. she is so much shorter than him and this is unnecessarily funny to me. just imagine her being like "yeah I have a little!" and the little is an angry looking Scottish man who is several inches taller than her and looks like he hasn't slept in days. wonderful amazing incredible i have no notes.
He doesn't tell Nardole or Bill about it. Nardole is much too strict about most things to be a fun caregiver, and Bill is his student. Sure, she's also his friend, but he has no interest in telling her. So that's all fun and great but Missy. oh Missy knows. don't ask me how she knows I have no idea but she does and it turns out that they both regress and. bangs my head into a wall. them . ough
The Doctor is definitely not going to regress around her for a variety of completely understandable reasons but Missy is very, very pent up and stressed in that vault and goddamnit he is going to give her enrichment in her enclosure. So he starts buying her things behind Nardole's back, bringing her little science kits and books and dolls and whatever her little heart desires! She does his makeup and they watch movies and paint eachothers nails. Nardole is a bit suspicious but who gives a shit they're thriving.
Eventually Missy seems to be stable enough and one day he finds himself slipping with her, which leads to a several hour long playdate and a mess that they both have to clean up. After that they settle into a routine where they meet every other day and switch off who's the cg that day, if any. The watch more movies are make matching pacis and they cuddle it's great. once again 10/10 no notes can you tell that 12 is my favorite yet.
Then we get to 13 and brother 13 is the most miserable little guy on this list. 11 may have spent decades fluctuating between headspaces above Victorian London but 13 is so much worse.
If 13 settles down for too long she starts thinking too goddamn hard and it upsets her. on top of that, she doesn't want people to know about her regression because of the sexism she started experiencing after regenerating. She knows people already few her as more emotional and crazy than her past selves and if people knew about her regression, that would no doubt get worse. Plus, she has 3 whole people in the TARDIS, which she does consider to be her responsibility and therefore she doesn't want to put herself in a mindset where she couldn't help them if needed. She regresses around the fam once, completely involuntarily, and they never talk about it again. Every time 13 regressed it was involuntary, and most of those regressions were spent crying. This gets infinitely worse after the timeless child ordeal. she may not have those memories but she experiences them as nightmares or daydreams, kind of like how when "john smith" (10) wrote stories about being the doctor because he could very faintly remember it. These nightmares and daydreams are more common when she regresses because they are memories from her childhood. This is the first time that regression has been dangerous for her. She doesn't want to, but it just keeps happening, and there's nobody to take care of her through it all.
Despite being in an infinitely less stressful environment and having people to care for him, 14 avoids regressing. Maybe one day, but not now. not so soon. not when it might be unsafe. But that doesn't mean he's completely away from it. Rose is also a regressor! She regresses for stress relief and also to have a more .. fem childhood? y'know. you get it you understand
Rose tells 14 before Donna, because he's a goddamn time traveling alien and has absolutely no right to judge her. no matter what he will always be weirder.
anyway he's like. that's so cool of you tbh but you should tell ur mom too because she's an absolute sweetheart and I'll back you up on everything. So she does and Donna feels SO guilty about Rose not thinking she would be accepting even though Rose reassures her that anxiety is just like that. But she's also thrilled? like. ohh i get to take care of my baby again. oh this is great. i love my daughter
so the Doctor's like cool. that's fun- and then he remembers that he has a time machine that can go anywhere and. this toootally doesn't end in him taking his little niece to all sorts of zoos and parks and museums with a perception filter in so she looks like a normal child so nobody can judge her. definitely not. maybe don't tell Donna about that bit
15 is considering going back to regression, and he has no plans to inform Ruby (at least not for a while.) Ruby is a regressor, but she's too nervous to tell him.
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pinkystarwberry · 1 year ago
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ROTTMNT Leo w/ platonic! future reader
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Heyyyy! I'm sorry that I've been gone for awhile! I hope ya'll enjoy my HC's. My request and mashups are now open :D! If you would like to request some fic's about the ninja turtles or many other fandoms listed in my introduction feel free to request!
Summery; Just some quick hc's of Leonardo with a child (gn! reader) from the future. all of this is post Krang invasion. I'm down for writing this for the other brothers (+April) as well! ENJOYYYY!! :DD
There are many up's and down's with being Leonardo child from the future
Lets start off with the downs! (YAY)
You're were (still kinda of) VERY over protective of both Leonardo and Casey Jr (This was in fear of losing them)
Which on paper don't sound bad
Until you're trying to throw hands with Leo’s brothers
They could just be play fighting and or full on arguing and you'll find a way to block them from Leo
Not to add, even after the "fight" (depending on how serious it was) you'll full on ignore his brothers
Raph needs help? Too bad, he knows what he did
One time Raph got the cold shoulder for a whole month
All he did was argue against putting pineapple on pizza
Not only do you "protect" Leo from his brothers, you also protect him from unfamiliar things outside of the lair
After the Krang invasion, Mikey thought it would be an amazing idea to cook outside and watch the stars
Mikey thought this would be an amazing idea because 1, you and Casey never really seen the stars before (due to being apocalypse children) 2, because Leo is now safe and sound :'3
Everything was fine and dandy until Donnie brought out some fireworks
Donnie thought that everybody would love the fireworks
He thought
Spoiler alert; you didn't, and you didn't let Casey or Leo watch the fireworks
Mikey believe that you (much like everyone else) gain PTSD from living in the apocalypse
You refuse to attend any therapy with Dr.Feelings
Overtime with the help of your new family, (you not only start seeing them as family; even though they are different from your apocalypse family) you started to go to therapy
Now on to the brighter(?) side!
Leo fucking adore both you and Casey
Ya'll might not be his bio kids in any shape or form
But damn he would go to the moon and back for you two
One time, during family Movie night, you fell asleep on him
Bro broke down into TEARS
He was just so happy that you trusted him enough to go to sleep :(
Both Mikey and April has a photo of this moment (for blackmail ofc)
Speaking about family movie night
You, Casey, and Leo have to paint ya'll nails matching colors
Its a must
With the help of therapy, you are more open to your family. Not scare to be yourself around them
God damn you're just Leo’s twin
Misplace confidence and everything
This can lead to you getting injured during a mission
Don't worry! Your family will make sure you're safe, and they will nurse you back to health <3 (hope you like soup, Mikey will make a lot of it)
Leo has many photos of you and Casey just being kids
Whenever he is sad, he just looks at the photos :')
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lumine-no-hikari · 4 months ago
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Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #261
Today, J and I woke up at around 5:15 in the morning; I was gonna drive him over to Great Barrington. So we got ready, and we got in the car, and I went to get gas…!
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…only to have the airplane lesson guy text J to tell him that it's super foggy, and therefore better to do the lesson later in the day; his next availability was 5pm. Ahahaha~!
Well, that's all right. I was pretty groggy anyhow; wanna guess at how stellar I was at getting to bed at 9:15pm like I said I was gonna (spoiler alert: I was NOT at ALL stellar at it)? So, with suddenly a ton of free time on my hands, I groggily played some Dead Cells. I didn't get very far, because I was groggy. My reflexes were dull and I was making poor choices in the heat of various moments, and… yeah. It was still pretty fun, though! Can't complain!
Once it stopped being stupid o'clock in the morning, I got some dishes done, fed the cats, and then, I decided to make hotdog macaroni and cheese!
I got these natural casing mini-hotdogs and I chopped them up, and I chopped up an onion really finely with my handy-dandy veggie chopper, and I threw in the leftover Frito cheese that really needed to get used up, and then I filled a bowl! I put in the macaroni and cheese, mixed the hotdogs in, drizzled ketchup and mustard over it, and then put some of the finely-chopped onions on top!! It was DELECTABLE!!!
…Want some…?
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…I know it isn't fancy. But it tastes really good. It makes my belly happy. And a happy belly is the foundation for literally everything else.
I took a short nap after eating the macaroni and cheese, because even after several hours of waiting for it to not be stupid o'clock in the morning, I was still groggy. The early autumn-ish air smells amazing, but it has a chill to it, so I put on my giant, floofy wearable blanket, pulled up its hood to keep the light from my eyes, curled up on the couch, and caught some Z's. At some point, Hunter decided that I am a pillow and napped along with me, like so:
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...For whatever reason, I guess he decided that the place for his nose was the side of my head, hahaha!
…Hey, Sephiroth? Have you ever put on a wearable blanket? If you haven't, you wanna try out mine sometime? They're super cozy and soft, and I think you'd like it a lot!! And I got the biggest size there is, so it swims on me, haha! So maybe it'd fit you properly, even though you're very tall. According to your in-game model (as opened in Blender), you're about 78 and a third of an inch tall, including your boots. So that's like… what? Maybe 77-ish inches tall, barefoot? Hmmm… I think my wearable blanket should fit you! Because you're only like 4 inches taller than M, in that case, and the wearable blanket fits him just fine!
…Heck, we can even use basic math to get your height; Cloud is some 68 inches tall (I'm at about the same height as him!), and so if we get a smaller picture of you two standing side-by-side, and measure out Cloud's height in the picture with a ruler, and record that number (we'll call it x), and then measure your height in the picture with the ruler and record that number (we'll call it y), then we just do the basic formula for proportions - 68 over x is equal to some number over y. We can get "some number", which will be your height to scale, by multiplying 68 inches by y, and then dividing the result by x. Easy peasy!
Anyway, 6 feet and 5 inches barefoot is pretty tall, but it's not really that unusual, at least in my part of the world; one of the people at my job is about the same height as you, and he seems really nice; he's the one who went in the back and got me my official work shirts when they finally got delivered, and when I smiled at him in gratitude, the smile he returned to me was just as radiant - it was very good! Then there's Julian Devorak of The Arcana, and he's 6 feet and 4 inches - only about an inch shorter than you. Mewtwo is 6 feet and 7 inches. A friend of mine from Australia is 6 feet and 3 inches. There are lots of people, both in story worlds and in my world that are about your height. Being tall really isn't all that weird; the world takes all kinds of shapes and sizes, and it's not nice to judge people on the basis of their outward appearance. You can't look at someone and just up and decide on the spot that they must be scary as a person just because your brain is scared of the vision coming in from your eyeballs - it ain't right. It ain't fair. It's dehumanizing, and it does a terrible disservice to the person you're looking at.
We have a phrase in my country that goes like, "you can't judge a book by its cover", and it means that you can't know who a person is, how they think, feel, or behave, or what they're capable of doing just by looking at their outward appearance. This phrase is something I try to live by. And it's something I know you live by, too; I remember when you scolded Zack for saying that Tifa can't be the guide just because she was a girl. I remember when you said, as a boy, that you cannot judge the elderly or the young as being unfit for combat based solely on their appearance. Your refusal to engage in sexism and ageism is pretty freaking refreshing; thank you for being yourself.
Anyway, I know a lot of people in my world like to say, "zOMG, Sephiroth is such a great big huge tall guy - gasp! - so intimidating!" but like… you're really not, because there's nothing inherently intimidating about someone being tall. So don't listen to those guys, okay? There's nothing weird or wrong or intimidating or any other negative adjective about your height and build. You're just you. And that's good enough. And if anyone gives you any problems about it, you just send 'em my way, okay? I'll fix their attitude real quick - don't you even worry about it, all right?
…Well anyway. J and I left for Great Barrington at around 3:00pm so we could make it there for the 5:00pm lesson for him. I tried strapping my GoPro to my head (I found it!) to take a video of the drive, but I mostly just got a video of the ceiling and of the sun shade flap thingies; I was frustrated. I'm going to try a different approach tomorrow, because I get to take J to Great Barrington again tomorrow, in any case. So we'll see what I can do.
At the end of J's lesson, one of the older pilots there offered us some of the pizza he got; he had extra. I was surprised by how tasty it was; it comes from a store called The Big Y, I guess. I had never heard of it before. But supposedly, it's the best corporation to work for in the whole state of Massachusetts. I wonder how true that is. Hm.
On the way back, J and I got a couple of pretty rad pictures of the moon; it was giant and red and low in the sky, and it looked amazing:
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...I wish you could have been here to see it with us as it sank below the horizon. It was a pretty breathtaking sight.
Well. It's very late now; almost midnight. I gotta get to bed. Fortunately, I don't have a specific time I gotta wake. I hope that things with the GoPro will work out in the car tomorrow; I'd like to be able to show you the beautiful things along the route in motion...
I love you. And I'll write to you again soon. Please stay safe out there...
Your friend, Lumine
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dasha-haziez · 2 years ago
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JinChul beloved
Istg i will write this fic myself- With all honesty, i really like the thought of Woo Jin-chul working to the point of beyond exhaustion, being in his headspace while working and not noticing the time AT ALL.
Like you know those times where you are doing something and really focused on them you didnt realise it has been hours?
But in Jin-Chul case, this might be unrealistic but he's been working for 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘰𝘥. His substance are powered by coffee. Gallons of them at this point probably.
Promtly then snapping out of trance as he realise his body weaken. Like, tired kind of weak where youre muscles feels like jelly and stuff.
then Go Gunhee came into the office after another worker decided its probably a good idea to let the Chairman knows of his right hand man's situation.
I'm sure Gunhee is a busy man but he could always spare some time to do something else. And SOOOOO.
Gunhee took matters into HIS own hands. That being carrying the half-conscious Jin-Chul and manhadles him into bed in Jinchul's apartment.
And man does it look 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘤. Its clean and all but the food- Fridge is empty asf and even cupboards!
Gunhee is aware about Jin-Chul staying in his office often and stays there at most time, though it never till the point he worked into passing out. Jin-Chul ate yes but only a good few bites before he stores them back into the office's fridge and going back to work.
So, Gunhee personaly, 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘺 takes care of Jin-Chul. Like ordering food and suplements. Most food are not to heavy for the stomach too due to Gunhee worrying it'll do Jin-Chul no good at all.
Though after a good meal and chat with Gunhee, Jin-chul fell asleep for 𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙙𝙖𝙮𝙨.
Lets say four or three. Just sleeping there with occasional and really short time of him waking up to take a drink or bathroom break. Before plopping into bed knowing the chairman visit him in the evenings making sure of things are okay and dandy.
that said, Gunhee worries for the young man's health. Sleeping for days? Isnt that an anomaly by now? Though the healer says everything fine other then immense amount of fatigue and the lack of nutrients.
In the end things turns out fine, JinChul and Gunhee had a talk about the situation. Jinchul assures its fine and he'll try to take care of himself better.
Which spoiler alert, it happened again. Few times each year.
So Gunhee isnt suprised when someone calls him in for help.
Im gonna write this istg i will. The plot gon be where someone ask for Gunhee's help.
Cause JinChul beloved just passes out and they are all confused on what tf to do with it.
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professionallydeadinside · 11 months ago
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AAAA YOU MAKE ME SO HAPPY :)
So their son is much much less of a finished character, more of just a shell of an idea right now. So I headcannon Crane to live outside of Gotham post-Scarecrow because in many forms of media he has a horse and there is no way in hell a wanted criminal is going to succesfully take care of a horse under the radar in a city of 30 million + people. I also imagine Wilhelm to have a horse. Because I love horses. So they live in a little house with a few acres of land outside of Gotham, and they have their horses and a few pet crows.
Now we get to the kid. We have a three year old boy who (I've yet to come up with a decent explanation why) has a unique power that his parents accidentally discovered when he stepped on an ant. He can turn into and ant at will all of a sudden! This terrifies his mom and dad, as it should. But they get used to it, until he accidentally kills a caterpillar and can all of a sudden become a caterpillar too. By deduction, they discover that their little boy can shapeshift into any creature that he kills.
Now this is all fine and dandy, as long as he stops stepping on goddamn bugs, so they move on with life. At some point, they decide to go camping outside of the city when they get into a fatal car accident. Fatal for the parents, at least. The kid wanders off with a concussion. He somehow survives the first couple of days without eating or drinking anything but survival instincts kick in when he comes across an injured and bloodied fox. He finishes the poor thing off and makes a meal of it, but he's not a stupid kid so he uses this to adapt. He finds a burrow of foxes and uses his gift to take what he can from meals and learn from afar how to get meals of his own. He uses his new predatory abilities to kill more animals for food. A rabbit, a frog, a squirrel. A crow.
But naturally life isn't easy for a small child, now five years old, fending for himself for the most part. Luckily, he found out about the two gay freaks who live on the forests' edge that like to take care of crows. Surely they'd have room for one more, if an injured little crow chick were to show on their doorstep. So he does the only sensible thing, which is purposefully run as hard as he can into a tree and then waddle over to their doorstep. When Jonathan goes out to feed the horses in the morning, there he is, crying in pain. Of course the little funky bird man would drop everything and rush him inside. Jonathan and Wilhelm make him a sort of makeshift cast for his injured wing and place him under watchful care.
Then one evening, when the two return home from terrorizing Gotham City, there's a little human boy in their kitchen. Now obviously this raises a ton of questions but it's not like they're threatened. He's five. So they sit him down at the kitchen table, give him some ice cream, and start interrogating the ever loving hell out of him. "How did you get in our house?" "Where are your parents?" And of course he has the answer to none of this, he's been fending for himself for at least a year and children don't have the ability to retain memories until at least the age of three. The only thing he has a possible answer for is "What's your name?" "mama and daddy used to say i was ant a lot." After a lot of unanswered questions and a display of Ant's transformative abilities, Wilhelm and Jonathan decide to keep him at least until his wing - or arm - is healed. Spoiler alert, they keep him a hell of a lot longer than that.
SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY I WAS IN THE SHOWER WAKJHGFDFGHHJG
BUT WHAT A WEIRD LITTLE BOY I LOVE HIM!!! ANT!!! Also that's a super cool power idea??? Him only being able to shapeshift into whatever he kills can lead to really interesting plot points I love it
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victorybird · 6 years ago
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@coilicah liked for a canon one - liner ( accepting )
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                      ❝ NO WORRIES !! Everything is dandy now !! ❞
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scripts4dreamers · 4 years ago
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I literally JUST sat down, pt. 1
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Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven
AN: Nuh uh, nope. Not this again. You did not sign up for this.  Characters: Spencer Reid, Penelope Garcia, Derek Morgan, Aaron Hotchner, Jennifer Jareau, David Rossi. Pairings: Spencer Reid x reader Spoilers: None Warnings: Mentions of crime and violence, alcohol, eventual NSFW content
Prompt: After watching 7x07 “This episode is so scary man... Imagine just doing your job which is pretty morbid at times but oh well and then suddenly you have to go to this place where there's a lot of tornadoes and you're like well at least I'm inside and safe and then your boss is like "we gotta go right to these tornado places lol" and then you think "well that's scary but at least we have this handy dandy live map showing us exactly in real time where the tornadoes are so we'll be fine and then the internet is like "haha nope have fun dying in a tornado" 
- @pirateismywayofspeaking​ who is a literal genius.
This will be a multichapter piece! So lemme know if you want to be tagged in subsequent chapters. 
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Usually, when terrible things happen, people say the same few things: “I never thought it would happen to me! You never think something like this will happen to you until it does!”. You’d never really been that type of person. You were naturally cautious, and an ex FBI agent, you saw danger pretty much everywhere. You’d seen some of the worst things human beings could ever do to one another and, if you’d learned anything at all, it was that bad things happened everywhere and to pretty much everyone. There was nowhere that you could definitively say was safe from violent crime, but this was just ridiculous.
You looked around the ruined bookshop you’d poured the last year of your life into with a kind of detached sadness. Even before you opened the door, you could see the carnage. The shelves were upended, tables flipped, every vase in the building was smashed...except one. You sighed, stepping into the store, your eyes scanning the wreck with a practiced efficiency. No broken windows, the door was still locked when you’d arrived and your security cameras were blacked out, there were no signs of forced entry. If anything that made you more uneasy and, not for the first time since you’d left the bureau, you missed the weight of your gun against your hip. You crinkled your nose against the smell, the copper-iron of fresh blood that you were all too familiar with as you crept through your store.
“Son of a-fuck!” You swore loudly, cursing your luck as you took in the scene.
There was a body laid out in the middle of the Fiction aisle: face covered with a burlap sack, wrists and ankles bound with rope and blood seeping into the carpets you’d just had cleaned. Your training kicked in and you noticed, without meaning to, that the rest of the aisle was untouched. The shelves were upright, books in order, even the vase of white roses you’d put there the night before were all completely the way you’d left them. It was like he’d just completely bypassed the entire section.
Huh.
You looked up at the sky, “Really? Right now? You throw this at me, now? Unbelievable.”
There was a sinking feeling in the pit of your chest, along with a nervousness that you were telling yourself was irritation as you pulled out your phone. It had been a long while since you’d done this, but you still knew the number by heart.
“This is agent Jareau with the Behavioural Analysis Unit.”
“JJ, it’s me,” you said, “you’re not gonna believe this.”
——————————
You sat in the ruins of your store until the cops arrived, wondering who exactly you had murdered in a past life to end up with this kind of luck. You gave your statement without much incident, directing CSU to the body and alerting the detective to the abnormalities you’d spotted.
JJ had promised to get the team on the case as quickly as she could, and you knew JJ tended to get exactly what she wanted in that regard, you just didn’t know how you felt about that. It had been over a year since you’d left the BAU, since you’d done one case too many and just got fed all the way up. It really wasn’t any deeper than that. One day you’d come home and found that you couldn’t sleep. It had all just become too much, so you packed up your stuff, tendered your resignation, and started over.
It had been hard at first, but now you owned a fairly successful bookstore with a little coffee shop where you sold good coffee, and homemade biscuits. And it was nice. You felt good, kinda. You definitely slept better at night. Your life was finally starting to feel normal and now this? A dead body just happens to appear in the center of your bookstore in just weird enough a way to warrant a call to the BAU? No, you’d seen too much to consider this a coincidence. Whether you liked it or not, you were about to get thrown back into your old life head first, the life you’d worked so hard to get some distance from. So why weren’t you more...upset?
“Y/L/N?” A familiar voice called.
“In here,” you answered, your voice raspy from disuse. You cleared your throat and pushed yourself up onto your feet, “I’m in here.” You tried again.
The figures who stepped in were painfully familiar and you couldn’t help the tired smile that slid onto your face, your eyes going directly to the blonde woman walking at the very front.
“Y/N!” She greeted, her voice dripping with relief as she pulled you into a hug, “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine, JJ,” you assured her as you broke apart, the rest of your old team filing in behind her.
She eyed you like she wasn’t sure, pressing her lips into a thin line as she looked around the trashed store. Derek Morgan swooped in behind her, giving you a second hug.
“Long time, Y/L/N,” he smiled.
You sighed, “Wish it was under better circumstances, Morgs, but I’m glad you guys are here.”
“Y/L/N,” Aaron Hotchner greeted, giving you a firm handshake.
“Thanks for coming, Hotch, I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to do.” You admitted.
“No, you made the right call. The BAU has officially taken on the case. Reid, Prentiss and Rossi are coordinating with the local PD from our headquarters, the rest of us are here to help,” he said, pausing and meeting your eye, silently asking the question you’d been waiting all morning for.
“No sign of forced entry,” you started, “the front door was still locked from the outside when I arrived.” You walked him through the crime scene, glass crunching beneath your feet as you went, “It looks like someone sprayed black paint over the security cameras I had installed, everything’s been smashed but there’s no cash missing from the register. In fact, they barely touched the front desk at all.” You explained, “And this,” you gestured at the Fiction aisle, “is where I found the body.”
Morgan stepped forward and, just like that, the team moved like a well oiled machine.
“White male, looks like he’s between the ages of 19 and 27.” Morgan started.
“His wrists and ankles are bound, but it doesn’t look like he struggled against his restraints at all,” you cut in, without meaning to, crouching down beside the body, “it could mean he was tied up postmortem.”
“We’ll have to wait on the M.E’s report to know for sure,” Hotch agreed, “Y/L/N, can I talk to you?” You nodded and let him pull you aside. He glanced over your shoulder and lowered his voice, “I know you’re out and we can do this investigation without you-“
“But?” You probed.
The corners of Hotch’s mouth twitched, like he wanted to smile, “But, I would also welcome your help if you’re willing to give it. The team is still a man down and, something about this scene has me thinking-“
“That whoever did this isn’t finished,” you agreed, sighing as you ran your fingers through your hair.
Everything was so messed up in your head. You just wanted to go back to bed and start this day all over again. Hotch looked at you and you recognized his brand of quiet concern. It was familiar and comforting, and it helped you process your thoughts.
“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” you frowned, “yeah. Yeah, sure, I’ll come back.” Hotch smiled and you wagged a finger at him, “But just for this one case! After that I’m straight back to my boring normal person life, alright?”
“Of course,” he agreed, something almost mocking in his tone.
“I’m serious, Hotch, just one more case.”
“I’m agreeing with you!” He insisted, already walking back to the rest of the group.
But he wasn’t and, much to your chagrin, you felt the familiar rush of adrenaline as you turned back to the scene of the crime.
“Hotch, Y/L/N,” Morgan called, holding something in his gloved hand, “you’re gonna want to see this.”
“Here we go again,” you sighed.
————————-
Walking back into the BAU had felt like stepping back in time. After you’d gotten everything you could from the crime scene there was nothing to do but brainstorm, but walking through those doors again...well, let’s say you hadn’t been prepared for how it would feel being back. For the most part, everyone had been glad to see you, especially Garcia, but you could tell that there were still some resentments bubbling under the surface. It made sense, the BAU survived by relying on one another, by acting like a family, and you’d left that family.
Still, there was a rhythm to this kind of work, a flow that was almost painfully easy to fall back into. You’d worked together for years after all, bouncing ideas off of one another like it was nothing and that kind of bond didn’t just go away.
“Admit it,” Derek teased, bumping your shoulder with his as you studied the evidence board, “you missed this.”
“I most certainly did not.”
“Oh you so did,” Spencer agreed, leaning against the table next to you and giving you a fond smile, “I’m sorry about the bookstore though, it was the only store in town with a proper selection of classics in their original languages.”
You shrugged, “I’ll get it up and running again soon enough, just as soon as we catch whoever did this.”
“Speaking of our UnSub, what do you think the relevance of him leaving the body in the fiction section is?” Spencer asked.
“Maybe he’s trying to say that this is some kind of fairytale?” Prentiss suggested, “Like he’s trying to draw us into his story?”
“Maybe, but this has gotta be more personal than that, right?” Morgan said, “I mean, this isn’t some body in an alley, it was dumped in an FBI agent’s coffee shop.”
“Ex agent,” you corrected.
“Sure thing, Princess,” Morgan teased.
“Why does everyone keep talking like that?” You asked.
“Because you leaving is ridiculous. You love this job,” He replied simply, “you’ve always loved this job.”
You opened your mouth to respond but, before you could, you heard the clacking of heels against the marble floor.
“Um, guys?” Garcia said, coming into the bullpen with a stormy look on her face, “we just got word from the officer who went to Y/N’s apartment.”
“And?” You asked nervously.
“They found something,”
“Another body?” Prentiss asked.
“No, weirder, a letter and what looks like a smiley face drawn on the wall in blood.” She said, pressing a button to display the new crime scene photos on the big screen.
Your heart froze in your chest.
There it was; a crude smiley face drawn right above your headboard and a crisp white envelope resting against your pillow. He’d made your bed too, some small part of your mind noted. How polite. Instinctively, you crossed your arms over your chest as you were hit with a mixture of panic and disgust.
“Of course,” you sighed, “of course there is. Why wouldn’t there be? It’s been that kind of day.”
“Do we know what the letter says?” Morgan asked.
Garcia nodded, “And it’s a doozy. The letter contains a poem written with letters cut out from magazines and newspapers. It reads:
Since there’s no help, come let us kiss and part.
Nay, I have done, you get no more of me;
And I am glad, yea glad with all my heart,
That thus so cleanly I myself can free.
Shake hands for ever, cancel all our vows,
And when we meet at any time again,
Be it not seen in either of our brows
That we one jot of former love retain …”
You could feel your friends staring and you tried to keep your face as neutral as possible. Your skin felt like it was on fire, and you could hear the blood pounding in your ears as you thought of a murderer setting foot in your space; him touching your bed, running his hands over the photos on your nightstand, defiling your possessions with his presence. You’d never felt so vulnerable and exposed, and bile rose up in your stomach like your body was physically rejecting the whole thing. Distantly you heard Prentiss and Morgan discussing theories, and you felt one pair of warm brown eyes staring into the side of your head.
Suddenly, you didn’t feel like joking around anymore.
“Sorry,” you muttered, standing up and striding out of the room without looking back, “I need some air.”
You were so angry by the time you made it out into the courtyard that you’d balled your hands into fists and your breath was coming out in short little bursts. Hot tears pricked at the corners of your eyes and your chest felt painfully tight.
“Y/N?” You heard Spencer ask.
You sniffed, wiping your face quickly, “Reid, hi. Sorry, I just-“ you let out a slow breath, “I needed a break.”
He nodded like he understood, tucking his hands into his pockets as he stepped towards you. You wanted to tell him to go away, to head back inside and leave you the hell alone, but the words wouldn’t come.
It had always been like this with Spencer. No matter how hard you tried to be tough and brave and put together, he saw right through you and broke down your defenses. At one point, he’d been the closest thing to family you’d ever had, in fact you thought you might…..
Well, it didn’t matter now. Over the last year things had changed, you’d grown apart. It happened, but the fondness was still there, and the trust, and those damn eyes.
“I get it, Y/N, I can't even imagine what this whole thing must be like for you,” he said, “having your home be violated like that….and the store?” He shook his head, “I know how hard you worked setting that place up.”
Your bottom lip trembled and, for the first time that day, you let yourself feel afraid as tears slipped down your cheeks.
You shook your head, “You know, when I saw the glass all over the floor, and all the books….I just felt tired, like bone tired. I wasn’t scared of that, but now?” You paused, glancing up at Spencer, as a tear slid down your cheek, “He was in my home, Spencer. He made my bed before he left, he wrote me a letter.”
Spencer worked his jaw and hesitantly reached out, touching your shoulder gently.
“We’ll catch him, Y/N/N, we always do.” He promised.
“And until then?” You asked, “Do I just pretend it never happened? Go home and act like it’s all okay?”
“No,” another voice cut in from behind you, “you rely on us. We’ll take care of you,” Morgan explained.
“Yeah,” Garcia agreed, her big blue eyes clinging to yours, “We’ve talked about it already. You’ll take turns staying with each of us a few nights a week and then, on the weekends, we’ll all stay with Rossi to go over the case. And we’ll spend every free moment tracking this son of a bitch down for you.”
Emily nodded and, for the first time since you had opened your store that morning, you felt your chest swell with something a little like hope. You knew the BAU was special, you knew that the bonds you’d formed over the years were damn near unbreakable, but this? This was too much. Seeing your friends rally around you when you needed them most just reminded you how much you loved them, and how much they still loved you. Even now. Spencer gave your shoulder a squeeze and you smiled back at him.
“I really missed you guys,” you said with a watery laugh.
Penelope crooned and threw her arms around your neck, pulling you into a familiarly bone-crushing hug.
“We missed you too, Sugar Plum,” she promised.
“Really?”
“Hell yeah!” Morgan smiled, joining Penelope’s hug.
“You know we did,” Emily agreed, ruffling your hair and pulling herself in close.
Your eyes found Spencer where he was standing just outside of the group hug, both hands in his pockets and a sad smile on his face. You pressed your lips together and, in response, he nodded.
“We missed you,” he said softly and then, as the hug broke up and you allude your way back inside, even softer, “we still do.”
---------------- 
Taglist: @ourfavoritesergeantbarnes​
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aion-rsa · 4 years ago
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X-Men: The Animated Series – The Worst of Charles Xavier
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Decades ago, in Uncanny X-Men #168, Kitty Pryde dared to say something bold yet true, “Charles Xavier is a jerk!” She was right, and the world has been better for it.  
Professor Charles Xavier’s jerkdom transcends all media he has made an appearance in; it’s that powerful. He is an omega level clown, which is probably why he treats his X-Men like circus acts. You have to wow those humans in hopes of getting them to treat you like your mutant life matters, at least according to Xavier’s teachings. Now that X-Men: The Animated Series is available to stream on Disney+, here is a list of episodes filled with all of the Professor’s best-worst moments and how he is more of a danger to the X-Men than anyone else. 
Enter Magneto and Deadly Reunions 
The first season of X-Men is overflowing with moments that make you want to pop Charles upside his bald held. I consider “Enter Magneto” and “Deadly Reunions” as a two-part story since Magneto plays the second most significant part in both of them. He comes second only to Charles’s choice to not say a word about Magneto to any of the X-Men in all the years they’ve been on this team he put together. He didn’t utter a single word to his young team about an old frenemy who could cause them big trouble if he ever came back into the picture. 
Spoiler alert: things go wrong when Magneto shows up. 
Well, that’s not wholly true. The first time he appears, he successfully breaks into the Mutant Holding Facility to break out Hank Mccoy, who is in jail thanks to Charles. However, Magneto is unsuccessful because Beast wants to wait for his day in court. I know he says it himself, but I’m blaming Charles for this as well. 
The rest of the episode is all about the severe danger Charles carelessly inflicts on his precious X-Men. Why wouldn’t you at least tell the guy on your team with an adamantium skeleton that you used to know a guy who has powers of magnetism? The X-Men are so ill-prepared to take on an extremely angry Magneto when he comes back ready to bring the pain to the human race. Things escalate quickly, nuclear warheads get involved, all because Xavier didn’t finish the job the first time around with Magneto. If it weren’t for Storm, a few cities would no longer exist. 
Charles’s hypocrisy is also on full display in the subplot of these two episodes, which involves Sabertooth and Wolverine. Charles puts Sabertooth under his care for mind probing despite Wolverine wanting him nothing short of dead. Xavier goes as far as to pull rank on Wolverine, demanding Sabertooth stay untouched, but then orders Wolverine, Storm, and Cyclops to take care of Magneto at any cost. As Logan says to his face, “So we have to go easy on my enemy, but it’s okay to go trash yours.” 
Read more
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X-Men: The Animated Series – The Essential Episodes
By Michael Mammano
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Justice League Unlimited: The Essential Episodes
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In true Charles fashion, he doesn’t realize the error of his ways until after everyone has had their lives threatened by both Magneto and Sabertooth. I forgot to mention this earlier, but at one point in “Deadly Reunions,” he leaves newbie X-Men, Jubilee, in charge of Sabertooth. 
Honestly, it’s genuinely no wonder Morph didn’t make it past the pilot episode. 
The Unstoppable Juggernaut
The Professor isn’t in this episode, but he doesn’t need to be in order to succeed in making sure yet another enemy of his past blindsides the X-Men. Only six episodes after “Deadly Reunions,” Xavier’s vengeful step brother shows up, and once again, he is another person they knew nothing about. 
The mansion is in shambles, and Xavier is nowhere around. He didn’t even have the decency to leave the insurance policy number around so one of them could file a claim. So, not only do the X-Men have to deal with Juggernaut, but they also have to become construction workers. 
When the X-Men finally encounter the Juggernaut, it takes all of them plus Colossus to subdue him. Jean, Storm, and Rogue all managed to pass out at some point in the process. Again, I’m blaming Charles because it’s clear they were tired from all of the construction work they had to do earlier in the day. All that devotion and free labor in exchange for near-death experiences, a room, and costumes they probably sewed together themselves. 
Cold Comfort
In “Cold Comfort,” an old member of the X-Men who had enough sense to leave returns. It turns into an episode of Dr. Phil because Xavier treats his mentees/employees like his children sometimes. 
To make matters worse, Xavier isn’t exactly a great “dad.” He plays favorites. 
So when Bobby “Iceman” Drake comes back into the fold briefly and reluctantly, it triggers some feelings Cyclops hasn’t let go of yet. The entire episode is full of Xavier undermining and gaslighting Scott about how differently he treated Bobby compared to him. Scott isn’t wrong this time. 
In this episode, we also see how important Charles considers his self-appointed role of the go-to mutant to solely work with the government because he is incredulous when he discovers the government has been working with Forge and his X-Factor team. There’s no doubt he probably made a call to the White House to complain about this the moment he returned to the mansion.
One Man’s Worth Part 1 & 2
Finding love can already be quite complicated at the best of times. Now imagine finding love in a post-apocalyptic world and having to give that love up because one man’s life was supposedly worth more than your happiness. It’s a raw deal, and that’s what you get when Charles Xavier is in your universe. In the two-part story, “One Man’s Worth,” Bishop and Shard travel to a future to recruit Wolverine and Storm to prevent Master Mold from assassinating a young Charles Xavier. They even have to find a way to convince him that his dream of humans and mutants, living amongst one another in peace, is his destiny.  
Honestly, the post-apocalyptic world was way less of a challenge and headache. If you can believe  it, older Charles is terrible, younger Charles is even worse, and ten times more infuriating. He doesn’t want to listen. He’s so stubborn he manages to get himself killed, forcing everyone to try again. 
Ultimately Bishop, Shard, Storm, and Wolverine get the job done, but it also means Wolverine and Storm’s relationships are no more. They don’t even get a full day to spend together before those versions of themselves cease to exist. All for Charles Xavier, who does nothing but keep secrets away from them and interrupts their days off with stories no one asked him to tell. 
Proteus Part 1 & 2
Last but not certainly not least on this list is the “Proteus” two-part story from season four. I saved the best for last. Part one contains one of the best Charles Xavier origin stories. It’s tragic but full of delicious drama. The montage of heartache shows Charles certainly has a thing for redheads. 
Kevin, also known as Proteus, is the son of Moira MacTaggert and ex-husband, Joseph MacTaggert. His powers are out of control, and he is on a quest to meet a father that has wanted nothing to do with him. Charles swoops in to “help” Moira and her son, but it’s quite obvious it’s because he wishes Moira had married and had a family with him. 
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Charles (of course) ropes some of the X-Men into his quest. He is hellbent on showing Moira that he was always the best man for her and her son. And because he is sometimes the Caillou of the Marvel universe, he takes his frustrations out on Wolverine, Beast, and Rogue throughout both episodes. And even after Charles does everything to “help,” Kevin and his dad end up reconciling, leaving Charles as the odd man out in Moria’s life yet again. You kind of want to sympathize with Charles until you realize how disappointed he is about Kevin and his dad working things out. 
The post X-Men: The Animated Series – The Worst of Charles Xavier appeared first on Den of Geek.
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keysbooksandneedles · 4 years ago
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Peter Darling
Author: Austin Chant 
Pages:164
Language: English 
age: adult/young adult 
year of publication: 2017 
The way i stumbled across this little book was one that I had never expected..... bloody TikTok, of all places. But hey I saw queer Peter Pan retelling, and who am I to ignore that. 
Now before I start this review, there is one very important thing that you should know before getting your hopes up. This book is out of print and prices for the physical copies are crazy. As far as I’m aware the only ‘legal’ way to read the book is via Kindle ebooks. ( free ebook copies are available on the internet, but we are trying to support lesser known queer authors here) But I still hope that the book might be republished sooner or later. 
As for the book itself. I loved it. 
The story takes place ten years after the original story. Peter has returned to Neverland, closing the book on his old live as Wendy darling. But as a reader you soon discover that this Neverland is vastly different form the original. 
I think the worldbuilding is exquisite. It still has the identifying elements like the mermaids, lost boys, fairies and pirates, but the way in which the main characters interact with these elements is vastly different. {spoiler alert} The concept that all of Neverland’s reality is bound to the imagination of it’s human visitors makes the story much more interesting. It also changes the way you interact with the background characters. Does the death or injury of this character have actual meaning if that character was just a product of imagination all along? (end spoiler alert)
on to our main characters. I do not necessarily love them, but they do make interesting characters to read. At the start of the book Hook is still the over the top frivolous dandy and Peter is still arrogant adventurous and cruel. It is not very clear what their motives are and why they (but mostly Peter) seem to be so focused on reviving their old feud. Through the events of the book and a serie of flashbacks both characters start to move away from these characterizations, becoming fully fleshed out characters that I personally could care about. 
personally I think that the journey from enemies to loves could have been a bit slower in paste, which has nothing to do with the quality of writing and everything to do with my personal preference. Other than that I think the romance fits the story. Using it as a way to make the character realize that Neverland is a trapping illusion is brilliant, so is using the romance as a motivation to leave the place. 
For me personally this was a very enjoyable read. Is it the best book I have ever read? No. But it is a book that will stick with me and one that I will be rereading more than once in the future. 
If you love queer/trans retellings, Peter pan or the enemies to lovers trope than this might be a book to check out. But there are some incidents of transphobia in the flashbacks so you might be cautious if that is a trigger for you. 
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cactachu · 5 years ago
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Hate Follows -- {Obey Me OC}
side note: uhhhh no shipping between oc and the canon characters, just her being sad and lonely
fuckin uhhhhhh. don't bully me im sensitive thanks
summary: salem has lived millennia, all while the death of her sexy nymph gf weighs heavily on her. she swears to never love again. her swears don’t mean shit.
~~~
Love is a beautiful thing.
It leaves a tingly feeling in your chest, as if hundreds of butterflies are softly beating their wings against your heart. A specific warmth floods your body when love first festers, and nothing can truly measure up to that feeling.
Some say love is innocent, that it always will be.
Spoiler alert: they’re wrong.
Because there’s a possibility of love leaving-- a possibility of the person you love leaving. A possibility of them leaving you behind as an empty husk of who you once were.
Love comes with risk, and risk leads to danger. Put your heart in someone else’s hands and it’s bound to break.
Love isn’t innocent, because when it leaves-- and it will leave, it always leaves-- it leaves behind hate.
And Salem firmly believed that.
It started with Lilise, an elegant and aloof tree nymph who put the angels themselves to shame. She was enchanting, like the very oak trees she lived among, with eyes brighter than the sun. The embodiment of beauty and grace-- the complete opposite of Salem.
Salem was young, inexperienced, and clumsy. She was new to this world, and completely unaware of the fact that she had wandered into Dryad territory. So, when Salem sat against a tree to rest, she definitely didn’t expect a gorgeous woman to appear in front of her.
Stunned by the woman’s beauty, the words left her mouth before she could stop them, “Somnium mentium transgredi.” There was a fluttering in her chest, heat all over her body. It was a new feeling she didn’t know how to describe, and, judging by the woman’s expression, she was feeling the same thing.
“...daimonas.” 
The woman spoke, crescendo light and smooth, in a foreign tongue.
Salem understood very little about the situation: where the woman came from, what she was, who she was, but that mattered little.
And so their love blossomed, and although it lacked words, it did not lack passion or sincerity.
They would communicate through gestures, gifts, and soft smiles they would only share with each other. Salem learned more about the woman-- learnt her language through trial and error, with the first phrase she knew by heart being ‘I love you’. She learnt of the woman’s name, what she was, who she was.
Lilise. Dryad. A graceful nymph with the power and charisma to melt anyone’s heart.
And for the first time since she was created, Salem was happy.
Then there was the Celestial War.
A war between angels. A war unheard of by man.
A war so bloody that those in the crossfire never stood a chance.
An unfamiliar cold crept up her neck, ironic considering the once enchanting forest was now engulfed in flames. She knew she should’ve left-- that it was dangerous to stay any longer than she already had. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t bring herself to tear her eyes away from the crumpled body in front of her.
She wanted to scream, avenge the nymph she loved so dearly-- lose control and tear whoever was responsible apart piece by piece, but all she could do was fall on her knees and pathetically caress the face that was once so content.
God, it fucking hurt. The eyes once so bright looked up at her, the ghost of a smile on Lilise’s face. She knew it was coming.
Salem refused to accept it.
“Chairomai, pou isastan esy…”
No it was too soon, it was way to soon. Please, please, please. Please help. Please, God, someone help.
“...den tha afiso pote tin plevra sou.”
As the eyes she loved so dearly slowly closed, she hugged her beloved close and, despite being a demon, prayed for God himself to heal her wounds.
It’s a shame God doesn’t love sinners.
Then, she had met Lucifer. Lucifer, the fallen angel who started a rebellion against the God of the fucking universe, the fucking angel that started the war.
Lucifer, the Morning Star. The fallen angel who had everything and threw it away.
He threw it away, only to gain it back in Devildom as Diavolo’s right hand man? Well, isn’t that just fucking dandy.
She remembers how she felt when she first met Lucifer. In fact, she remembers how she felt when she met all 7 brothers.
And she remembers how fucking angry she was.
She was running on rage, looking to pin Lilise’s death on someone else to avoid collapsing into a pit of self-hatred. She knew that if she fed into the desire, it would consume her-- the feeling of hate would consume her.
And as much as she hated it, she would have to see the people who indirectly killed Lilise every fucking day.
And when that’s the case, locking your true feelings away is that much easier, just like replacing your true feelings with fake happiness feels so much better than facing the truth.
A fake, festering ball of hate, who is always on the verge of collapsing from the guilt.
At the end of the day, that’s all that Salem was.
And she would’ve stayed that way if not for the exchange program.
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moonshadow-memes · 6 years ago
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Take That Stick Out Your Craw
Recipe by: Corvus Post published: Year of the Toad, Month IV
Preparation time: 30 min cooking time: 45 min Feeds: 8-12 people
So i know what you’re thinking, another cake recipe, huh? Yeah yeah listen let me tell you one thing you never take into account when baking cakes: 
General Amaya.
Before I get into the ingredients i would like to stress that under no circumstances should you invite her to your cooking activities. She’s got the spirit but she a little confused.
It was Commander Gren’s birthday a while ago and i had just discovered a good stable Victor Sponge Cake recipe in Crow Master’s book collection. I was excited to get on it, but she caught me secretly taking some Xadian Berries from our ration boxes to use as filling and garnish. So she insisted on either helping me make the commander’s birthday surprise, or eat the entire tonne of rare berries right there right now.
You already know which one I picked...
It was all good and great and I was very much enjoying the process of getting everything ready, and then it was time to separate the eggs into two different bowls.
Pros: General Amaya was good at cracking eggs. Cons: General Amaya insisted that the bits of eggshell needed to go into the batter for added nutrition.
Thankfully the rest of the ingredients went into the batter fine and dandy, and she seemed to have it under control so i let her mix in the last of the flour while i whip up the egg whites.
That was mistake number two. in hindsight, i should have known she would not waste precious time on sifting...
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At this point the batter was ready, i poured it into a tube pan purchased specifically from the castle baker, and in the oven it went. It stays in there for about 45 minutes and you know what that means...
Awkward idling eye contact.
We played rock-paper-scissors to decide who washes the dishes and... I’ll spare you the details, but long story short i’m going to need a new kitchen table.
The cake made it out of the oven looking great! we let it cool down before slicing it and filling it with cream and Xadian fruit, I even wistfully bid it goodnight while it chilled in the fridge for the commander’s birthday the next day.
Big Party time! Everyone is there and giving him gifts! he’s besides himself (mostly because i seem to be the only other introvert in the entire Katolis army) and then it was time for the cake.
CRUNCH.
spoiler alert: cakes are not supposed to crunch unless you specifically want them to crunch.
So yeah sorry for the long winded blog post about my first time making a Xadian Berry Layer Cake, as much as i enjoyed eating it (at least the bits that were cake) i was mostly glad that commander Gren seemed happy stuffing his face with it. there were even a few tears hanging on his lashes because of how delicious it was.
...I hope.
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Ingredients:
1 and 1/2 cup flour with raising agent 6 eggs + one egg white 1 cup sugar oil for lining the baking dish
absolutely NO general Amayas!
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bastardsunlight · 5 years ago
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//LONG-ass headcanon sesh for D, Alucard (Hellsing) and Adrian (CV’s Alucard) all kinda rolled into one.
So, since I don’t have radiantDecay anymore, I’ve sort of pulled back from the verse where Adrian BECOMES D. There was a lot of movement and timeline adjustment that had to happen for that one, and while it is in some way still possible, I’m not terribly interested in upkeeping a unique interpretation for a character that’s never really going to come into play. If you’re writing with D, it’s thousands of years after he was Adrian. If you’re writing with Adrian, it’s pre-1999 pretty much.
So, I have some documents someplace that I had written regarding D’s origins. The novels heavily imply that he’s somehow enhanced—y’know the movies hint at him just being super powerful Mary Sue turbo ultra dhampir simply because he is the son of “Our Sacred Ancestor” whomst we all pretty much know is Dracula himself right? Certain novels even hint that Mina Harker is his mother, if they don’t just outright state it. It might be the clunky translation (they really should have been more carefully transliterated because WOW some of those sentences just… don’t), but thus far it’s not been made CRYSTAL PERFECT CLEAR. However, I’m more than willing to run with that idea.
Dracula is, by the time Mina et. Al. come up against him, quite old, nigh ancient. I think that the Dracula of the Bram Stoker novel is or, rather, was the historical Vlad III Dracula Tepes (the impaler), born in the 1420s, “died” in the 1470s, iirc. Supposedly, the sultan at the time… Mehmed Fatih, kept his head in a box for a while before pinning him up on the walls of Constantinople, which the Turks controlled at the time. Ugly period in history for Eastern Europe… With Wallachia and Transylvania, in particular, two kingdoms in Romania, times were triple trouble. They were sandwiched between the Ottoman Empire to the east, then west was Eastern Orthodox Christendom—further west was Roman Catholicism and if you think THOSE guys didn’t fight, ding dong ur wrong!
BUT this period of violence produced one of the most well-known and controversial heroes (sometimes called a war criminal) of all time. Also he had a great ‘stache. Now when I write Hellsing’s Alucard, I roll with this same lore, so D and that Alucard could absolutely exist in the same ‘verse. It’s kind of a “darkest timeline” deal, a world in which the Belmont clan never existed. Before that even, Lisa never made Dracula’s acquaintance so the guy’s motivations are a little different. In addition, he is NOT Mathias Cronqvist, a tactician during the first crusades in 1090 AD. In that case, he would have revamped (PUN) his whole personality and integrated himself into one of the other great houses of Wallachia/Transylvania and re-emerged four hundred years later as Vlad the Impaler. That could work fine—not like he hasn’t got time—and that would have been around the time he met, and lost, Lisa. Now whether THAT part of history looks the same is dubious, since Vlad’s exploits during the period of his reign/deposition/reign/deposition/beheading are pretty decently documented. In this case, I’m going to say the Belmonts’ existence is in a timeline where those conflicts also may have played out differently. As these are all fictional worlds, I guess this’s up to ME atm. Nice.
So this is part “how I write D” and part “how I’d be inclined to write Alucard (Hellsing) in interactions that take place BEFORE the manga—like WAY before”. Since Adrian would have been a major contributing factor to the Belmonts’ strength from Trevor onward (so in the games idk if folks know this, but Adrian is Trevor’s father, with Sonia Belmont being his mom), that would also have contributed, at least in part, to the ability of the Belmonts to stomp Dracula and his minions.
With D, there is no need to include Mathias and his ebony/crimson stone conundrum, which does tend to throw a small monkey wrench in the ol’ gears (but not big enough I can’t adapt, trust me). The difference, aside from lack of Belmonts, is the origin of vampires. Clearly, they’re a magical construct or a spell-woven form of sentient life in Castlevania. In Vampire Hunter D, it’s heavily implied (once again, not outright stated) that the Nobility, some of them anyway, are simply a mutation of humanity (Dark Gene vs Light Gene, Lina’s whole deal, among other passages here and there), who also happen to be allergic to garlic, crucifixes, running water, and basic-ass Bram Stoker weaknesses. They’ve even got labs full o’ Nobles tryin’a conquer the sun issue.
So to know D, we gotta know his dad first. At the beginning, Vlad III is born to (big surprise) Vlad II. He and his brother are sent to Edirne as part of the Ottoman Empire’s “tribute” of however many young  boys from noble houses, to be trained in the ways of Islam and Turkish mannerisms, etc. This is more for pacification of that region of Europe, which is still Eastern Orthodox, than it is for real “peace”. It’s “peace because you guys are a good buffer zone between us and the rest of Eastern Orthodox-dom”, anyway. Every _voivode_ of Wallachia has to swear allegiance to either the Ottoman Empire or to the Eastern Orthodox church. While most of that area is EO, it’s in their best interest to swear to the Ottoman Empire. They’re bigger and closer. Vlad’s dad has done some underhanded shit, but he’s also a member of the Order of the Dragon and has propelled it to new heights within the EO and that’s where Vlad gets his name: Dracula, which is Son of the Dragon. So Vlad II’s immediate family are known as the Draculesti, which is fucking cool—it’s like “children of the dragon” and that’s not even his like, NAME name—it’s a frickin’ nickname, or sobriquet, as is Tepes.
In the world of Vampire Hunter D, vampirism appears to be a genetic phenomenon—ironically, a mutation. No Noble is going to admit that, OBVIOUSLY. And while it’s true, they were probably born that way, they’re still a mutant human derivative. Rather than mutating due to radiation or whatevermstthefuck like the actual mutants in VHD, they’re just born that way. So what I’m rolling with is Vlad III was born with that particular mutation and, kind of like my OC Toby, who is also a genetic vampire, it takes a violent or unnatural death to trigger the actual symptoms, else you’re just a normal-ass person. In fact, in this interpretation, I’m going to say that maybe quite a few people are BORN with that mutation, but if they live to a ripe old age and die, it never triggers. Most likely, the body is too enfeebled to handle it, maybe it dies after menopause/andropause? Either way, the body has broken down too much and there’s no material to work with.
That might also go a long way to explain the animosity many old vampires have toward humanity. Sometimes it’s straight up contempt, of course, but every single time, it seems to be a removal. Carmilla is a good example. Most of the time, her backstory involves a vicious assault that might very well have killed her. Imagine dying that way and waking back up to find that you had to KEEP living in the world that did this to you, that death is FAR far off. I can understand being VERY PERTURBED, to put it mildly. By the same token, what about war? How many folks die in war? Thousands? Millions? Of all those, how many have the mutation? Probably quite a few. Some folks might not figure out what’s going on and stay where they are, buried for decades, before just wasting away without sustenance—Vampires DO require blood, after all, to keep doin’ their thing. Plenty more are probably just torched in the sun. Since they were KIA, it might be rough finding their bodies in the first place…
So Vlad is beheaded—now this part intersects VERY well with Hellsing’s Alucard in my portrayal—and Mehmed Fatih keeps his head close at hand for a bit, probably talking to it. What happens when it starts talking back? We know Dracula has some SERIOUSLY kickass abilities and putting himself back together would definitely be one of ‘em, in my humble opinion. Mehmed dies not long after he achieves “victory” over Vlad the Impaler and no one knows where Vlad’s remains are. Maybe they up and walked the fuck away, hm? Maybe it was HE who ensured Mehmed’s destruction. How poetic would THAT be? Spoiler alert ||very||.
Now imagine going through everything he did—the guy had a tumultuous life. He might be one of the few, lucky ones who figure out that sunlight is a no-go, hide himself away, eventually go back to haunt his castle in the mountains between Transylvania and Wallachia. Now fast forward to the 1800s, MODERN TIMES (heehee okay) and one very ambitious realtor who wants to sell a creepy old abbey to some weird foreigner. Seems legit. Anyway by now we can see that Dracula’s gotten kinda nutty? He has three scary “wives” but he doesn’t seem to care much for ‘em. They’re obviously vampires, too, though I cannot recall if they’re turned by him or if they’re LIKE him—anyone who’s read it recently, do feel free to refresh me.
He’s kinda senile and while he’s crafty, he’s outsmarted by a dandy, an ancient-ass doctor, a dude who cannot stop fainting, a man named Quincey (my husbando), and Jack Seward—nuff said. He has some kind of congress with Mina, though ofc it’s the Victorian age so the only penetration is that of his li’l toofers on her poor neck. Nom. I don’t think Dracula banged Mina Harker. I think that, in THIS world, a dhampir is a nigh-impossibility, because at this point (and their cool-ass vampire science might’ve changed this), vampires are The Undead™ and therefore cannot CREATE LIFE. Not even if they have a raging turboner (that’s a turbo boner, for those of u not in the know). So he bit Mina, but before he did that, Mina married Jonathan—like as soon as he got home. They were married and living together and doing the frickle frackle, presumably, before Drac shows up in London to mess up their day.
In this case and for the sake of sanity, to create a dhampir, the vampire must chew on a pregnant lady. The curse lifts from her when the master is killed, but his blood has already entered and changed the child; the process is much longer and more involved for an adult human, who has an immune system and much more ground to cover. If the smol bean was in embryo stage or even fetal, it had no defense and mom’s body provided it with everything, Dracula’s blood, included. The final set of letters in Dracula mentiones a young boy, Jonathan and Mina’s son, Quincey, named after their fallen friend. So little Quincey is a dhampir!
Now, a bitten vampire cannot, in this universe, turn anyone else. They can feed and create thralls, but they can’t make VAMPIRES. In Hellsing lore, if a vamp bites you and you’re a virgin, you become one—if not, you become a ghoul/zambolio thingamajigger. Integra narrates this for us pretty early on. But it’s not Alucard’s venom doing this. It’s the vicar of Cheddar Village, who is a manufactured vampire. He’s not a true vampire, not like Alucard. Now, Alucard DOES ask Seras if she’s a virgin ‘fore he kills and bites her, which makes sense… IF HE LOVED MINA.
Hear me out. So, he saw this strong-ass bitch and thought “goddamn I’m sick of my whiny, vicious wives UGH I need me a woman like that”. So he’s gunna turn her. It probably takes longer since he hasn’t been powered up by Hellsing and their dark science-magic shit, or whatever it was… OR as he chomps on ‘er, he realizes “well fuck me she’s preggo, so even if she changes, I can’t have her”. Pregnant blood has GOTTA taste different, all those hormones and shit, even early on. I think he did have some weird admiration-affection for her. His arrogance and greed, however, has taken him over, so perhaps he decides to change her slow, to make the fellas suffer. They’ve fucked with him so he’s gunna fuck with them, but I think it pains him a little to do so, because lbr Mina’s the woman of his dreams.
So when Quincey is born, he’s perfect, healthy, rosy-cheeked, and by god only Mina knows something’s amiss. Damned if she’s going to say shit to Jonathan, who’s liable to faint, the absolute fucking walnut. They live fairly well, having taken over the real-estate business from their wonderful, generous, dead benefactor. 
Much like Carmilla’s weirdo ghost, however, Dracula’s spirit absolutely lives on.
TL; DR D was born Quincey Harker. 
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royalnugget42 · 6 years ago
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Ok so post 14x14 thoughts
Ok so this is probably fine and dandy. Jack has little to no soul, but that’s actually probably fine bc neither does Cas and he’s good so ??? Actually I had a theory that the grace is kind of like a soul substitute, which is why Cas has no soul but he can still Feel Things and why Jack will be fine !!!
But now we have a conundrum. Cas has said that the reason he’s not happy is because of Michael, but now Michael is gone, he’s dead, and everything is somewhat ok. So, either the next episode starts with Cas getting taken to the empty (which spoiler alert: it doesn’t bc he was in the next trailer lol), or it starts with him feeling relieved, but immediately wondering why?
Why doesn’t the Empty take him? He’s happy isn’t he? Relieved beyond compare? So...wtf?
Which I think might lead us to a Destiel reveal. Think about it: Cas being confused why he’s not “happy enough” yet, and then we as the audience realize, oh wait, it’s because he and Dean haven’t gotten together yet.
If this is the route that they will take, expect to see a lot more Destiel meta and A LOT more blatant Destiel subtext (maybe even text ???)
Anyway I’m a hopeful bitch about this and I am also Very Very Worried.
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a-shi · 6 years ago
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 a handy dandy little list of canon things kisuke has done that are bullshit made by a friend &&. some things that i’m gonna canon diverge from or how i address it on this blog.  tldr ; kisuke gets punished by others , listens to the kids , &&. is adjusting to telling others what’s going on more than he does normally in cannon ( however nothing enough to endanger any mysterious plans ) . also kisuke being gross &&. nsfw towards yoruichi / rukia / orihime is redacted because hell no . 
1. before the soul society arc , kisuke borderline kills ichigo, throws him into a hole for three days, and almost turns him into a hollow / a monster ( both are synonymous ) &&. the next time we see them interact, ichigo doesn’t seem to rebuke kisuke as much as deserved for his actions ( stern words but nothing of consequence ) . 
            there’s no exact real way to make up for this , unlike the others , because there are definitely things that had to happen for ichigo to regain his powers and status in order to embark on his rescue mission - however , i will be injecting kisuke talking more to ichigo beforehand about what needs to happen in a hey you could turn into a hollow and it’s gonna be really awful kind of way ; likely at the behest of tessai because it’d be pretty unlike kisuke to explain things ahead of time ... something i’ll likely address later &&. the repercussions of that habit . but tldr; kisuke warns ichigo of the process to a degree as well as apologize later on / get reprimanded by ichigo for his actions . 
 2. within the arrancar arc kisuke destroys orihime's self esteem, however the next time he sees her they're friends again. not only does he continue to embarrass her throughout the manga, nothing happens about it, and the next time we see them it's like nothing happened 
again there’s not really an exact way to make up for this other than inserting a direct apology / removing some of kisuke’s ( kubo’s ) sexism &&. other grossness. similarly to this - his godawful outfit for orihime ? doesn’t exist. 
similarly , chad watches kisuke crush the shit out of orihime's self esteem &&. on this blog chad &&. renji both beat the shit out of kisuke for this - physically and verbally , &&. the altercation continues even further after kisuke replies to this with a weak excuse akin to : i said what had to be said . 
 3. kisuke doesn't do anything wrong to uryu exactly , but he also clearly doesn't care much. 
on this blog , kisuke will have helped uryu multiple times , given him more insight into quincy - related things , &&. help him wherever he could / whenever he could . 
 4.  kisuke’s treatment of renji: tricking him , pretending to be kind &&. giving but forcing him to work , treating their relationship superficially , treating him solely as a customer , etc . etc . 
to redact this , kisuke took renji in ( in exchange for work still but to a lesser degree ) &&. altered the way that he helped to train him to be more beneficial for renji &&. chad’s growth respectively . kisuke cares as much for renji as he does the rest of the “kids” ( which is to be noted , he cares deeply for all of them , even though he’s messed up a lot with each of them in the past - to be continued later ) 
 5. rukia was tricked, manipulated, and nearly killed by kisuke during the soul society arc . &&. spoiler alert : canon kisuke doesn't apologize to her for anything , &&. next time they talk they're fine. 
a lot to unpack here :  1 . kisuke still tricked , manipulated , &&. almost killed rukia . he still placed the hogyoku within her , &&. nothing major has changed in that regard . 2 . however , post - soul society arc , kisuke does make an effort to apologize to rukia . earnest &&. humbling ( perhaps i’ll write it one day ) , but he likely meets with her &&. rukia at first is genuinely upset &&. angry with him but kisuke takes off his hat ( representing lowering a facade ) &&. gives her a deep apology to which rukia accepts but doesn’t forgive him for his actions , but now that aizen has the hogyoku there is no benefit to hang up on this &&. they move on - to mend their relationship as time passes on. kisuke tries his best to adjust into letting rukia &&. the others in on what’s going on &&. running things involving potentially death for each of them beforehand instead of just apologizing later . 
6 . similarly during the beginning of the manga, he offers to "check out" her gigai, &&. it is implied that her gigai has something on its private area that marks it as his creation, &&. he uses kido on her to bind her while she watches ichigo helplessly so she can’t intervene. kubo made kisuke a "good" guy and forgot to clean up all the shit he did so it was swept under the rug.
creepy sexualizing kisuke ? no thanks . also that implication ? goodbye . while i will accept kisuke being jokingly nsfw at times - the extent that kubo portrays him in at times is disgusting , especially when you remember that some of these characters are minors / minor presenting ( still minors in my opinion don’t come at me saying rukia isn’t a minor because she is in my book ) . everything with the beginning of the manga is somewhat iffy , kisuke being gross is generally a rejected thing on here - but in instances where he does morally fucked up shit such as the hogyoku or kisuke killing ichigo ; he will have been rightfully reprimanded / talked to / punished for these actions . in this instance , he likely was smacked by rukia and got yelled at to which he apologized for &&. humbly says he has no excuse for . 
7 . kisuke putting ichigo , orihime , chad , rukia , renji , etc . in danger . constantly . &&. never being reprimanded / no consequences for this . 
kisuke still places them in dangerous situations both for their own personal growth as well as arranging them as if they were chess pieces in the greater scheme of things ; however , he would never just leave them hanging ; safely exposing them &&. letting them figure out things on their own , but always being there just in case . &&. similarly to earlier points - he is working on trying to tell people more about what’s going on , telling them what they’re to expect to some degree , just so they aren’t blindsided &&. as traumatized from being thrown into such situations where their life is appearing to be at great risk . 
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fordarkisthesuede · 6 years ago
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At the Brink of Midnight - Chapter 9
*Arrives two days late with Starbucks* ‘Sup, guys! σ( ▼∀▼)σ These past 96 hours have somehow filled me with a weird chaotic energy, and I pumped out the longest roller-coaster of a chapter I’ve ever done in such a short amount of time!!! Thank you, whoever sent all the writing vibes my way!!!! ★>d(,,・ε´-,,)⌒☆ I’m sending out strong vibes to everybody in return! *May you get hit by the writing bug and have the opportunity and energy to completely translate your ideas to printed words!*
Buuut a big note before we get to the good stuff:  I realized too late that the original events of S2 take place in Spring. Like…April. I was writing all of this with the thought that S2 took place in fall; I mean, the characters can wear a leather jacket or a couple of layers comfortably, so I thought “yeah that sounds like early autumn”. Nope! So that means that for this story’s timeline, everything gets shifted into where it should be. On the downside, that means I had to go through and edit all the bits where it said “it was totally spring, you guys”. On the upside… IT’S NOW OCTOBER!!!!! THE SPOOKY SEASON THAT COMPLETELY FITS WITH WHAT’S GOING ON!!! And coincidentally, it’s my favorite time of the year, so I love writing about it even more! I get to add in a thing here and there about the spookiest time of the year, so I’ll have a nice list of what those little changes are uploaded here soon if you don’t feel like re-reading the whole thing. A re-read isn't necessary though, just keep in mind that the humid air of rainy spring in the city is replaced with chilling fronts and even more cloud cover than usual. Why am I bothering with this? Because I’m a stickler for keeping with canon as much as possible and I feel like an absolute fool for not remembering what goddamn time of year it was to begin with. (I mean, I went so far as to download all of TeamFourStar’s play-through because I watched it so often, you think I'd remember to go back and watch the very beginning once in a while…)
Anywho, thank you all again for your continuously loving support!!! 
♡~(ɔ ˘3˘)˘⌣˘ c)
Important Spoiler Tags: drugs (mentioned), swearing, canon-typical violence, electric shocks (mentioned), torture of flowers, flirting, almost an excessive use of emoji, crying, romantic dirty thoughts
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Read on Ao3 or continue below:
Chapter 9:  Grapevines
Bruce Wayne couldn’t remember the last time he’d conducted a meeting from his home office. It wasn’t as if he didn’t use it – the desk surface had hardly any dust settled on it and two empty coffee mugs he’d forgotten about on two different occasions just happened to be stacked behind the monitor – but it felt strange, like a lot of things did lately.
He knew part of the reason for that was watching houses down in the Batcave right now. Knowing he wasn’t alone in the house was comforting, but knowing there were two cops outside the Manor’s front door just waiting for a chance to grab his best friend-cum-houseguest was not, and knowing that they were both close to being thrown in hot water was even less so.
He figured the other reason he felt strange was because he was slipping back into his old habit as if it had never been shelved in the first place. He had time to kill before the video meeting started, so he’d been scouring for information on “Pam”, Jonathan Crane’s ‘old friend’.
There were a few Pamela’s in Gotham, but only one fit within Crane’s age-range and attended Gotham University at about the same time:  Pamela Isley, a forty-four-year-old former botanist with a record that ran the length of his arm. Theft, assault, threats, and attempted poisonings all done in the name of extreme environmentalism and social activism were sprinkled in her history before and after her days as a researcher, and according to GCPD records, she was now suspected of running her own drug-ring under the moniker of ‘Poison Ivy’. (Bruce found several recorded instances of people claiming to be Poison Ivy, most of whom were already arrested.)
Bruce would’ve wondered why on Earth she hadn’t been thrown in prison when she made a bomb-threat at a wealthy businessman several states away nearly a decade ago if he hadn’t seen her mug-shot from back then. At thirty-five, she looked every bit as beautiful as a top-billed Hollywood star, with natural orange-red curls cascading over her pale shoulders and ample bust in chemically-tamed waves, flashing the camera a come-hither stare that made it look like she was trying for a part in a high-budget porn flick rather than standing in front of a height chart for her criminal record. Pamela’s charges were mysteriously swept under the rug.
The latest photo he found of her reminded him a bit of those ‘cougar’ dating ads he’d seen – the older Pamela was blowing a kiss to the camera with a mocking look in her dark green eyes. Bruce glared at it. There was little doubt she was using people to cover for her constantly, and when she was in trouble, she managed to wriggle out of it with her looks.
Not this time. She was friends with Dr. Jonathan Crane, and that meant she wasn’t going to get out of this unharmed. The second his virtual meeting was over, Bruce was heading towards Toxic Acres, and hopefully the wounded Crane would still be there to see Batman’s fist hit his –
Bruce snapped out of his thoughts at the buzz of his phone. A message from the BatComputer…?
I’m bored :/
Bruce blinked down at the screen. John had found the emergency messaging system. Of course he had. He was just grateful that the encryption software on his phone was still up to date. Just what else did John poke his nose into down there…? (There was the chance that John would see files he shouldn’t, but Bruce kept those under a thumbprint encryption. He shouldn’t even entertain the thought.)
Stake-outs are usually pretty boring.
It wouldn’t be so bad if you were down here tho! :)
Bruce hovered his thumb over the keyboard, unsure of what to say. The feeling was kind of mutual, if he was being honest; having another person around on a stakeout would at least keep his mind wandering into the worsts of what-ifs and double-checking every last security issue…
No movement on either houses btw. Been reading Crane’s docs in the meantime but it’s DREADFUL!!! I feel like I’m reading a sleeping pill… =_=
You finish your WE stuff yet?
Meeting’s not for another 20 minutes. Been looking up stuff on Crane’s “friend”.
Oh??? :o Do tell!!!!
Bruce couldn’t help but smile at the enthusiasm.
Pamela Isley, former botanist w/ criminal rec., mostly extreme protest kind of stuff. Good chance she’s the head of a drug-ring that moved here a couple months ago; their leader goes by “Poison Ivy”.
They went to college together, but Pamela moved back here recently.
hMmMmm…. That means no burning the place down if we’re stuck! Bad fumes everywhere xP
Bruce focused on the word “we’re”. He hadn’t been planning on bringing John along. He wanted him safe, at home, where no one had a chance of seeing him and he wasn’t put in harm’s way…
Oh!!! You’ve got a bunch of sticky electro-shockers around - do you mind if I tinker with them? :3c pleeeeaaasssee?
What are you thinking of doing with them?
Making one BIIIIIG shock-bomb, of course! ;D I can wire them together so the shock spreads evenly in the space while it’s discharging.
Bruce reconsidered bringing John. He was still learning to curb his impulses, so being outside in a fighting environment would be a serious gamble, but... Maybe that could be their advantage, too. Bruce made a mental note to go dig out the spare bullet-proof vest from his closet’s secret panel.
You can do that?
I played around with making something like it before, but……well, you know.
Time + supplies for that project were low att. I figured I could always go back to it later anyway.
Bruce felt like his heart had deflated and swelled in such a short time that it hurt.
I mean I’m fine with throwing knives around too but I figured that would be less discrete ¯\_(ツ )_/¯
He’d been thinking of different methods of entering the “house”. Most of them featured a silent slip-in and as little combat as possible, but he knew that there would likely be some muscle around to stop any would-be intruders, and getting a quieter jump on them would certainly be helpful. He would certainly be lying if he said he wasn’t impressed that John had thought that far ahead even back then.
If you think you can get it done within 1.5 hours, then yes.
Ha ha ha with these supplies I can get it done in like 40 mins! >:3 just you watch!!!
Btw have you seen the news?
Not yet. Why?
I was on the morning edition! At least they used a good pic ;D
But also saw a guy getting fished out of the harbor. Your handy-dandy invasion software said he’s a registered Ryde driver.
I told you not to fiddle with that.
Sorry, but I only used it the once! Promise!!!
Bruce sighed through his nostrils.
Besides I thought you’d want to know. Think Crane stole his ride and dumped him by the docks? :v
Probably. I can get the plate from up here to verify. DO NOT TOUCH THAT PROGRAM AGAIN.
Yes sir ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Bruce wasn’t sure if that message was supposed to be flirtatious or mocking.
The incoming call from Iman Avesta stopped him from responding. He figured it had to do with John’s escape and the extra security added at Wayne Tower this morning, but why was she calling him now, rather than several hours ago?
“Iman?”
“Hey, Bruce. Hold on a sec – there we go, now we can both -”
“Bruce, what the fuck?” Tiffany asked over the line. “Are you at home right now?”
Bruce almost sighed at the attitude. “Yes, Tiffany, I’m at home, in my office.”
“Uh-huh. I keep getting alerts that your basement’s messaging system is being used. Care to explain that?”
Oh. Of course. He’d forgotten Tiffany had linked her phone to that, too. It’d just…been too long, he supposed. (She couldn’t read them, though, could she? He was fairly sure it didn’t give out mass-texts unless prompted.) “…where are you right now?”
Iman responded instead. “We’re in your second office.”
“…the line’s secure?”
“Of course.” Iman paused, and Bruce knew his new CSO was choosing her words carefully. “I’m guessing you have John Doe in the Batcave?”
“Yes.”
“Bruce, did you fucking break him out?” Tiffany asked with no shortness of impatience.
“I rescued him,” Bruce said firmly. “I know what you’re thinking, and I have a pretty good idea of what you’re going to say, but listen:  I had no choice but to take him with me. One of the doctors working at Arkham has gone rogue – he’d been doing experiments on patients, and I have a feeling he’s going to continue them on civilians. I need to find him before then, and John has been helping me.”
“Helping…? You’re not bringing him in the field with you?” Tiffany said disbelievingly. “After that psychopath almost killed us?”
Bruce could still see Joker running at Tiffany, knife in hand, his psychotic breakdown in full force. He could still see him being smacked against the railing, sheer madness played over his long, bloody face as he desperately fought to stab what was his hero.
But John and Joker were as much the same as Bruce and Batman were, and they were constantly changing.
The Joker in the Batcave wasn’t the same one from Ace Chemicals.  
“I know what John did,” he answered, trying to breathe even as something wanted to hitch in his throat, “and I know how far he’s come since then. I know you both regret-”
“No, I’m not listening to this right now,” Tiffany scowled, her voice fading in the middle her sentence like she was leaving the room. “Talk some sense into him.”
Bruce heard Iman’s voice call after her, and then nothing for a beat.
Iman sighed. “I’ll talk to her. But Bruce,” she started seriously, “Tiffany isn’t the only one worrying about you. Six months can’t possibly cure everything wrong with a man whose spent his life in an asylum.” He could practically hear her chew over her phrasing. “I need to know… If John goes too far – if he shows signs of regressing…or just becoming more volatile – I need to know you’re going to put your foot down.”
“I’m more than capable of handling him, Iman.”
“Please, Bruce, I’d rather not have to pull you off another broken pipe lodged in your kidney.” She paused, and Bruce let her continue, feeling the scar in his side twinge at the painful memory. “I know you care a lot about him,” she resumed in a softer tone, “and I know you trust him. But if you doubt him at any time, you need you to step back and re-evaluate your choices. I don’t want him to regress back into the Joker.”
That was a different Joker, Bruce wanted to say. He knew that wouldn’t sound the way it should. “I promise I won’t let that happen.”
“Good to know,” Iman replied, sounding somewhat relieved. “This doctor you’re hunting – is there anything we can do to help?”
Bruce shot a look at the clock in the corner of his monitor. He didn’t have as much time left as he would’ve liked before his virtual meeting started. “Tiffany can fill you in a bit, I had her help searching Arkham’s records before. Can you run a plate for me? I think Dr. Crane is running with a stolen car; I’ll send you the details in a bit.”
“Sure. We can check traffic cams for it, too, if you’d like.”
“If you would. And the second I have anything concrete on Dr. Crane, I’m sending Tiffany the details – I need her pull as Oracle to get the word out to the GCPD before anything happens. They’ll listen to their number-one informant more than a vigilante coming out of retirement.”
“…you’re…?”
He could almost see the shock in her face. They’d had a short discussion about his alter-ego when he decided to quit the first time; she’d been incredibly understanding about the whole thing. It was almost as if she’d seen it coming.
“Are you sure?”
He was as sure. She didn’t know about the instincts broiling underneath his surface every day. She didn’t know he never really stopped being half of himself. She wouldn’t know or really understand that he just shoved it all down and aside like he did so much else just to get through things. “I don’t have any other options at this point.”
“…you know you can count on us if you need the help.”
“Of course I do.”
“Right. Well, in the meantime we’ll keep the fort over here running as smoothly as possible.”
“Thank you. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Good luck.”
The line went silent, and Bruce pulled his phone away, catching a glimpse of three unread messages.
Sorry, buddy, I was just kidding around, you know? Ha ha
Bruce???
Hello???????
Sorry, had a phone call and couldn’t reply. It’s fine.
Seconds ticked by, and Bruce began changing out of his black t-shirt and into his button-down. It wouldn’t do to appear as a CEO in anything less than a proper suit. He could leave the jeans on, at least.
“Oh! Uh…sorry, Bruce…”
He felt his heart stop for a second. That was definitely John’s voice, even though it crackled slightly from the speakers. The monitor didn’t show anything out of the ordinary. John must have been using the spy-camera feature on the Batcomputer; it was linked to most the devices in the house, and Bruce’s webcam was no exception. He’d almost forgotten it had a loudspeaker function, too.
“I didn’t realize you were…um, changing.”
Bruce glared at the webcam’s lens. “John, what did I tell you about fiddling with the Batcomputer?”
“…sorry. I was worried when you didn’t answer me.”
He sounded genuine, at least. Bruce could easily picture him running upstairs to find him, if there wasn’t a chance he would’ve been seen. “I answered you a minute ago. I was on a call with Iman,” he stated plainly, fixing the buttons on his sleeves.
“…oh, ha ha, there it is! Uh, I guess I’ll just…go, then…”
Bruce almost questioned why John was sounding nervous and distracted, but it wasn’t until he saw the webcam light wink off again that he realized his shirt was wide open, the scars littering his torso half on display from the waist up.
Thankfully, no one was around to see Bruce bury his face in the palm of his hand for a moment, feeling like his face was on fire from first and second-hand embarrassment.
It didn’t last long. Bruce took a few deep breaths as he fixed himself up, and dialed into the meeting with a fixed expression of calm, firmly ignoring the heat that had settled in his stomach that threatened to go lower at the thought that John was bound not to forget any of that.
Driving the Batmobile in full gear again was certainly something else. Bruce felt the weight of the Kevlar body armor press against his limbs as he sped down Gotham’s twisting alley streets, no one any the wiser that the Wayne’s red sports car was hiding Batman behind it. The city’s CCTV signal was scrambled with the flick of a switch as he came into driving distance of the alley’s camera, making him almost untraceable.
He’d given the Honda Accord a head-start; it couldn’t go nearly as fast as the Batmobile, and Bruce had to find a spot to safely change before going to go pick John up from his drop-off point, and the post-working-hours traffic had already gotten its usual early start. It was a slower drive than he’d like it to be, even with Bruce’s shortcuts.
The setting sun was completely obscured by a dark overcast. It made the orange streetlamps glowing over the decorations sitting here and there in windows and doors even more energetic, like every corner of Gotham was slowly growing with the energy of Halloween.
Bruce clicked the communicator in his cowl. “John, are you there yet?”
Silence for a few seconds, and then a rustling noise. “Sorry, I had to take this off for a bit. What?”
“Are you there yet?”
John giggled slightly. “Oh, yeah, I’m here. Just waiting on you, pal.”
He was already at the meeting point? How did he get there so fast? “You put everything back where it was supposed to be?”
“No, I stripped the seats and threw everything into the garbage,” John grumbled with dripping sarcasm. “Of course I did, it’d be rude not to put Jerry’s stuff back. What do you take me for?”
“…I’m just making sure you didn’t forget anything.”
“I didn’t.” There was a loud slurping noise, like the last of a liquid being sucked from a straw.
“John, where are you right now?”
“In the alley, waiting for you.”
“Did you make a stop?”
John giggled, a little louder, but not at all nervous. He was enjoying himself. “What can I say? Going out on the town with you like this makes me thirsty,” he said with a strange purr. “Besides, no one bats an eye at me when I look like this anyway.” He paused. “Well, no, I’ve gotten some eyes on me, but, uh, I think they’re more the appreciative type. I guess ZZ Top was kinda right about the sharp-dresser thing.”
Bruce felt his brows knit together. “You’ve always looked sharp,” he said truthfully, turning down a narrow alley.
“Yeah, but not thousand-dollar-suit sharp. There’s a difference! Plus I think this bullet-proof vest makes me look a little bulkier than I actually am.”
Bruce spotted him leaning against the graffiti-covered wall, a Burger Lord cup in one hand and a plastic orange bag in another. Just how much time did Bruce lose while he was changing?
John tossed the drink in the dumpster and practically jumped into the car, shoving the orange bag behind the driver seat and slamming the door shut as Bruce switched off the communicator. He took one look at Bruce’s questioning glower and gave a nervous sort of grin. “Hey, don’t look at me like that, there’s something in there for you, too.”
Bruce almost asked what, but decided that a lecture on keeping a low profile and not taking money from his house’s various hiding spots would have to wait. (Though he supposed whatever John got wasn’t expensive. He was quite frugal, and it wasn’t as if Bruce couldn’t afford to buy John whatever he wanted anyway.) He concentrated instead on heading down the twisting path towards Toxic Acres. At least the traffic over there was a hell of a lot lighter.
“Hey, when you drove me to the Batcave, did you go in fourth gear, or third?”
He wasn’t sure why he asked, but he honestly couldn’t remember. He just recalled putting his foot to the floor and keeping his eyes on the road, occasionally reaching over to check John’s pulse. “I wasn’t really paying attention to that; I concentrating more on driving as fast as possible.”
“Oh – so you didn’t know you could punch the shift down into third whenever you wanted? It was so fun! I can say I literally punched it out of the Batcave!” He laughed. “I’m guessing you can’t do that in this car?”
“…I’ve got paddle shifters.” They were starting to travel into the more deserted road leading into Toxic Acres. Bruce took a sharp turn onto the hill with the broken Do Not Enter sign, and checking that no one was behind him, flipped the switch to shift the car into armored plates and pressed the wheel-paddle for a lower gear.
They flew down the road with a whirring whine of the engine, John’s notorious excited laugh mixing with it, and Bruce allowed himself to smile a little at it, knowing his own little joyful thrill wouldn’t last very long.
John was soon tapping his fingers together in some kind of rhythm as they passed by more empty houses, Bruce moving a little slower to keep his eyes out for trouble. Sitting close to the river on the outskirts of the city, they were originally meant to be a long neighborhood for the middle and upper class to build their lives, but as the unemployment and crime rates rose, the place became abandoned. It didn’t help that the piping structure to carry water there had been faulty, making either lead poisoning or unfiltered dirty water a prominent problem and giving the section of Gotham its nickname.
“How do we know which place is the botanist’s?” John asked, his green eyes scouring the houses in front of them.
“I sent out another drone earlier for some aerial shots. There’s a place with camouflaged green-houses in the back on Aster Place.”
“Wow, you did that before I left? That was fast…”
“It was a quick job. I’m not picking up the other drone until later.”
They turned the corner onto Aster Place; the road would dead-end in a while, but Bruce knew the house wouldn’t be situated at the end.
“Oh, there’s the spot Jackie got shot at!” John pointed ahead. “I wonder if there’s a bloodstain left…!”
Bruce tightened his grip on the wheel. “We’re close.”
It was oddly quiet out there. There was no other sign of life in what was a hot-spot of criminal hide-outs. Bruce turned on the thermal vision in his cowl; a lot of the houses were actually empty for once.
Except for one. 1801 Aster Place. There were a group of people scattered around on the bottom floor and what appeared to be a lot of heat-lamps running on the top floor. If one of the people in the group wasn’t Pamela Isley, then she might have been holding up in the basement…
They left the Batmobile out of sight down the road, and Bruce and John moved swiftly behind the backs of the houses in the chilly night air, the taser bomb safely in John’s coat pocket; John was surprisingly quiet, only humming a familiar tune here and there. (Wasn’t it the theme from that old spy-thriller…?) Bruce managed to quiet him with a look, and John mimed locking his mouth shut and throwing the key away.
Two unknown people were standing in what used to be a kitchen; three more people were up in the front room of the house. There were no security cameras to be seen.  
“Stick close to me,” Bruce whispered, the modifier in his cowl deepening his voice. “We go in through the back window, take out the two in the kitchen quietly and throw the bomb up front so we can cuff the lot. If none of them are Ms. Isley, we find the basement.”
John gave him a thumbs up, pulling out the riot baton he had hidden away. (Bruce had still not remembered when he or Alfred bought that, but vaguely remembered stashing it in the towel cupboard with some other emergency gear. He wasn’t surprised John found it.)
The bathroom window’s locks weren’t difficult to break. They looked like they had been broken several times already. Bruce slid the insect screen up and slipped in through the thin opening feet-first, twisting his limbs just right to softly land on the floor. He had to help pull John through the rest of the way after he smacked his head on the bottom of the window; thankfully he hadn’t made any noise, but he did give Bruce a strange look as brushed himself off where Bruce had gripped his sides.
Bruce didn’t have time to think about it.
The two people in the kitchen stood in semi-darkness, watching through the patio windows with rifles leaning against the wall. There wasn’t so much a bare bulb to give off light. Bruce figured their eyes might have adjusted to the dark, and signaled John to follow as he crept up behind the two goons.
“I dunno, with all the hype surrounding episode four, you just know those guys are going to mess up somewhere. Remember when they decided to let Celestyne drop to his death back in season one?” The one with dreadlocks asked.
“Oh, come on, that was just to test the game’s limits. Besides, Celestyne couldn’t die; I don’t think Jane can, either,” the second person responded in a higher voice with a casual shrug.
“Dude, you know the game’s gonna make her a villain in the end, though, right? She might die…”
Bruce was ready. John was gripping the baton with a widening grin…
“Are you kidding me? They have her affection meter up so high I’m surprised the game doesn’t have a dating opt-”
Bruce slammed dreadlocked goon’s head into the wall just as the baton crashed down on the other goon’s skull, little smears of blood marking the plaster and paint with a satisfying crack.
John clutched the collar of the goon he’d struck, gripping the slightly bloody baton a little harder in his other hand. He seemed to be thinking.
Bruce took a zip-tie out and cuffed the goon’s hands behind their back, and wondered just what John was staring at until he’d turned the person around and caught a glimpse of them in the light of the window.
They were both women with little tattoos of vines creeping along the back of their necks.
If Bruce guessed right, those were ivy leaves on the vine. Poison Ivy had a loyal gang.
John zip-tied the wrists of the woman he’d struck and patted the part of her head that wasn’t wounded. “Sorry,” he whispered as if she would hear it. “Lauren’s ex,” John mumbled, gesturing to the woman on the floor as if he knew Bruce had raised his eyebrow at him.
Bruce simply swept onward, spying the door for the basement. There was a light on in the front room, and three women who looked like they could be professional boxers of different weight categories were sitting in different areas. One was sharpening a knife at the table, and another was cleaning a semi-automatic rifle as the third kept watch over a monitor showing security camera footage; three looked to be by the greenhouses (Bruce recognized the Foxglove variety growing in one under an opening in the glass, sitting next to something that looked primeval), and two were watching over the plants upstairs (marijuana, by the looks of it) and in the basement.
There was a figure in the last screen, working over a row of potted plants with low lamps. A zoom-in with Bruce’s lenses showed long red hair.
Bruce felt a hand on his shoulder, and John crept ahead him, the taser-bomb in hand: it looked like a mass of the sticky-bombs grouped together, colorful wiring connecting them all like some kind of net, and before Bruce could do or say anything, John threw it into the living room, where it tumbled into the middle of the floor.
The group began to shoot out of their seats in a second, and in the next the ball seemed to expand like a geometric toy, the wired tasers being thrown in the air with a flash before smacking people and surfaces alike as they discharged. All three people fell to the floor in trembling heaps, and John dashed out and started to cuff them, Bruce close behind.
The electric bombs were safe to touch now that they had fully discharged, so Bruce had no qualm about stomping on the lightly-burning sections of carpet underneath some of them to prevent any spread of fire as he pushed them aside. The bulkiest goon wasn’t quite down for the count; she was still conscious.
She yanked John off her fallen comrade by his shoulder and threw him into the table’s edge. Bruce threw a Batarang at her arm just as she was about to punch, and John gave a swift knee to her stomach as she flinched.
She fell to the floor with a louder crash and a grunt, pulling the Batarang out from her arm and letting it drop to the floor. “You fucker…” She said, glaring up at John before looking over at Bruce, her eyes widening as he approached with more Batarangs at the ready. “B-Batman…?”
“Yup! He’s real,” John said playfully before smacking the side of her head with the baton. “And so am I,” he added with a growl. He decided to tie her wrists behind the nearest table leg. “I hate not being able to call myself Joker like this… Really sells it better.”
Bruce felt his heart twitch at the name. “You can call yourself that, if it helps,” Bruce said gently, tying the monitoring-station woman’s wrists together, “Just not to people’s faces.”
“Kinda defeats the point,” John grumbled.
Bruce shot a look at the security monitor – Pamela Isley didn’t seem to have heard anything. Still, precaution should be used. “Let’s go,” he said plainly, sweeping out of the room with a swish of his cape.
John tucked a hand into his pocket and followed.
The basement stairs were carpeted and quiet, but Bruce was careful to walk on the outsides rather than the middle. Spiders had clearly made themselves right at home in the damp corners of the walls, and he had to duck to avoid getting the tips of his cowl’s ears stuck in one of their webs. A soft sort of click was heard behind his back, and Bruce figured John had gotten out his grappling gun.
Pamela Isley was bent over a row of exotic-looking orchids posed under heat lamps, dabbing something into the center of a blue orchid’s petals. Bruce saw several troughs full of hallucinogenic mushrooms sitting on the other side of the wall.
“There you go, my darling,” she cooed in a honeyed voice, acting like she was carefully painting the center of the flower, “You’ll soon be the belle of the ball…”
Bruce eyed the electrical box on the other side of the room. It wouldn’t do to drown the place in darkness; he’d be able to see, but John wouldn’t. The best bet was to tackle and restrain her.
Or…
Bruce took out his own grappling gun, and aimed it at Isley’s collar. One click, and it snagged her shirt with practiced ease.
“What the-?!”
Pamela Isley was suddenly dragged yelping through the air at an angle, smacking hard into one of the tables and spilling several unusual potted flowers to the floor.
Bruce grabbed her and threw her to the concrete floor, standing over her with several Batarangs in his hand as John cackled beside him.
“Jonathan Crane,” Bruce growled out, “Where is he?”
Pamela Isley sat up, shock written all over her face as she processed exactly what happened – it quickly morphed to a steely stare. “Batman,” she said slowly in a sweet voice, “I thought you were an urban legend,” she continued, wiping the corner of her mouth where a dribble of blood leaked out. “Do you always treat a lady this way?”
Bruce dragged her up by her collar and threw her against the wall, keeping her at arm’s length. “I know he bought plants from you today. Tell me where he is.”
“Or what?” She taunted, smirking widely at him. “You think I haven’t been knocked around by men before? I’ve been in whole worlds of hurt, honey.”
There was the distinct sound of the grappling wire rushing through the air, and then an enormous crash – John had taken out one of the mushroom tables, the fungi now breaking and bouncing against the floor it the scattered in the dirt.
“Whoopsie,” John hummed, a wide unnerving grin on his face, “butter-fingers.”
Isley looked rather taken aback, but the expression quickly warped into a mocking glare. “You think destroying my inventory is going to intimidate me?”
John shrugged, leaning back against a table and knocking over a several small tropical plants with a slide of his hand, shattering the clay pots and sending the plants scattering to the hard floor.
That definitely got her attention; her face paled slightly and there was tremble in her. “Stop that!”
Bruce glared at her, mentally thanking John for his quick thinking. “Tell me where Crane is and I’ll consider stopping him from tearing this place apart.”
Her dark green eyes glared at him with a slow-boiling dislike. “Let me go first.”
Bruce did a very quick once-over; she didn’t seem to have a gun holster on her, and she was definitely a lighter build than the rest of her gang. Knives were still a possibility. He decided to let go, keeping a Batarang between his fingers just in case as he stepped just out of her reach.
Pamela dusted off her green turtleneck. “I don’t know where he is, and I don’t care. He bought a few of my flowers and left,” she said, crossing her arms.
John laughed, fingering the leaves of the blue orchid she’d been attending. “With a hole in his shoulder? You didn’t even offer a band-aid for that?”
Pamela was closely eyeing the plant in John’s hand. “What if I did?”
“I know he’s a friend of yours, Isley,” Bruce growled. “You’re the only one who could know what he’s planning.”
“I told you, I don’t know,” she stated, “and I don’t care. I’m not his mother.”
“I can see why you were paying such close attention to this one,” John hummed, fingering the petals with a gloved hand. “It’s so pretty. You put a lot of effort into keeping all these, huh?” He grinned at her, almost looking like his usual self. “It’s not just some financial scheme for you, is it?”
“Of course it is,” Pamela stared at him, trying to keep her voice level; Bruce noticed her eyes kept flicking slightly downward, like she was watching the plant. “I breed and sell rare plants to collectors on the side.”
“Oh good! So this won’t bother you!”
In a swift move, John cut the blossom off the stem with the bowie knife one of the group upstairs had been sharpening.
The blossom fell to the table, and Pamela Isley looked as if she’d seen a ghost.
John picked up the blossom. “Let’s see – she’s honest,” he said playfully, plucking a petal from the stem, “she’s not!” He pulled another.
“STOP IT!” Pamela shrieked, making to rush at him – Bruce pulled her back and pointed the tip of the Batarang at her face. She glanced at it fearfully, but then looked back at the flower being torn apart in John’s hand, and it looked like she was watching a child die before her eyes.
“Stop that,” Bruce instructed; John hummed and held it still. “Talk, or my partner and I crush every plant in this place.”
Isley stared at the flower in John’s hand. “I… I don’t know what he’s planning,” she said quietly, her voice cracking slightly. John only touched the tip of a petal before she spoke again – “But-! But I know… He’s building something. He didn’t say what, but he asked for some muscle - I hooked him up with some of Maroni’s old boys.” She shut her eyes and took a breath before glaring at John like he was a complete monster. “I hope the lot of them tears you limb from limb.”
Bruce forced Isley’s hands behind her back and zip-tied them. “Down on the ground,” he growled, pushing down on the top of her head. John pointed the grappling gun in her face with a smirk; a good insurance if she decided to try and elbow Bruce in the face.
Pamela shot them both a hateful glare as she knelt down, and it didn’t waver as her ankles were tied, too. “I won’t forget this,” she spat.
Bruce sent off a message to Tiffany regarding the coordinates of “Poison Ivy”’s headquarters from his gauntlet. He knew she’d get the word out before he could even get back in the car. “Tell it to the judge,” he taunted, leading the way out of the basement, not missing the sparkle in John’s eyes as he followed, the severed, torn orchid blossom having been carelessly thrown at Pamela Isley’s feet.
John gathered up the sticky bomb device before they hustled back to the Batmobile, and it wasn’t until the doors closed that he spoke, and when he did it was in a tone Bruce would almost call revered.
“So, what do we do now, partner?” He asked, a definite glow on his face.
“We go look at some of the Maroni gang’s old haunts and see if we can find anyone recently hired,” Bruce said, the voice modifier in his cowl now disabled. He glanced at his recent text messages:  one from Tiffany giving the ok on Poison Ivy, and another from Iman with the last known location of the stolen Ryde car. “After we look into the motels in the red-light district. Crane might’ve stayed there.”
John laughed to himself, but for once he didn’t share the joke; instead, he pulled out a packet of jerky from the plastic bag he’d brought along. “I knew this would be a long night,” he said cheerfully, as if he was really looking forward to the whole thing.
It was well past one in the morning when Bruce arrived back home through the front gate, the Batsuit stowed away and the plates flipped back to red. The two patrol officers were only somewhat surprised to see him arrive back. Naturally, they reported nothing new, since John had been dropped off in the Batcave first.
Sore muscles were nothing new to Bruce. The old strained climb back up to his bed was just as annoying as ever. He honestly didn’t feel like he wanted to sleep, but after following several empty leads over the city and bruising a few heads alongside John, he did admit that he was physically exhausted. He knew lying down was better than nothing, and he still had to go to work in several hours like he didn’t have a double life. At least he wasn't starving, thanks to John thinking ahead and buying him protein-and-carb-filled snacks.
He forced himself to go through his usual nightly routine, despite the temptation to just flop into bed and lay there. He looked at the bruises on his back and ribs from where John had struggled against him under the influence of Crane’s drug, and decided not to bother putting the bruise-away cream on them, nor on the new ones forming on his shoulder from where one of the former mobsters had hit him.
When he did finally collapse onto the master bed in nothing but his boxer-briefs, his brain still decided to chat away at him.
There were no leads as to who exactly Isley had hired for Crane. Bruce cursed himself for not trying to work the specifics out of her. At least he knew she was arrested for drug possession and manufacturing, as well as smuggling illegal fauna.
There was no word on the whereabouts of Jackie Lant. Her car was missing, and she’d called into work sick. Her apartment hadn’t been visited in the entire time Bruce had his drone’s eye on it, and neither Tiffany nor Iman had seen anything when they looked into Jackie’s friends’ places, either. All Bruce knew was that she hadn’t called an ambulance to fetch her from Toxic Acres, that she hadn’t been admitted to a hospital, and that there was no sign of her body either in the Acres or in the Gotham River.
She was alive, somewhere, and Bruce didn’t know what she was going to do next. He hoped she was just going to lie low until he caught Crane.
Jonathan Crane was nowhere to be found. His house was still empty. He didn’t seem to be staying at any of the motels – or hotels – around the red-light district or its surrounding streets, and nothing had come of a quick credit-card check. The Ryde driver the GCPD fished out of the River that morning had been shot in the head, and his car was so common that if Crane could’ve switched the license plate with anything and been completely invisible. They’d done a quick search of the warehouse district and found no sign of him there, either.
Bruce had the nagging feeling that he wasn’t going to find Crane until the doctor reared his head.
The billionaire rolled onto his stomach, shoving the anxious thought away as he pressed his cheek further into the plush black jersey pillowcase. There were a couple more places he could check tomorrow…
The bedroom door creaked, and Bruce’s eyes shot open, a second away from grabbing the billy-club under his pillow – he could see John’s messy hair in his dark silhouette.
“Bruce? You awake?”
“Yeah,” he mumbled.
“…can I come in?”
“Sure.”
Bruce noticed he closed the door behind him. Like he was planning to stay there.
That definitely put a new light onto the situation. A tense thrill was building in his shoulders as John deigned to sit on the edge of the mattress, his back to Bruce.
John was only wearing his Arkham-regulated pants, and the pale white of his bare skin almost shone in the light streaming in from the window. Bruce saw several bruises forming, one of which was from where he’d gotten grabbed by the shoulder by a Poison Ivy goon, and several more where he’d gotten knocked into.
“…I don’t think I can sleep in that guest room,” John sighed. “I mean, I tried my usual methods of sleep induction, but… It’s too big…and empty. I’m really not used to that.” His voice came out quieter and more contemplative. “I know it’s weird, but do you mind if I sleep in here?” He asked, turning halfway to look right at Bruce.
He felt trapped. If he said no, at the worst John would sulk, and at the best John wouldn’t get any sleep, and that was definitely worse for his mental health. John had mentioned before about how regular sleep cycles were supposed to help with that.
If he said yes, though, he’d know he was sleeping next to John, and there was the tiny worry in the back of his head that John might…try something. Or at least roll over too much.
“I promise I’ll stay over on my side,” John muttered, not tearing his eyes away.
“Alright.”
A sweet smile stretched on his face. “Thanks, Bruce. You won’t regret this.”
“If you keep talking, I might.”
John giggled as he slid beneath the covers on the far side of the bed, flopping one of the extra pillows down between them. “There – a no-roll barrier,” he said as if he had to explain the concept to Bruce.
It did not escape Bruce’s attention that John had decided to lie facing him and rest his arm on top of the pillow. John had pulled the covers up to just underneath his armpits; Bruce could see John's sharp collarbone and the lean wiry muscle of his chest. (Bruce made sure not to look for more than a moment's curiosity would allow.)
God, John’s face was actually his for the first time that whole night. Bruce had gotten used to seeing it in the natural makeup, but it was almost a relief to see it in its normal borderline-luminescent white. He looked like the man Bruce knew.
Acid-green eyes stared at him, flicking slightly and growing soft. “I…did want to talk to you about something, though. If it’s okay.”
“I suppose I’m still awake,” Bruce said in an attempt to lighten the tension in his arms. “Sure.”
“Do you ever…look back on something, and think about the worst thing that could’ve happened in that situation?”
He didn’t like to admit it, but he had. Usually in his worst moods, he’d think about how everything could’ve gone wrong. He’d usually think about everything he could’ve done better, too. “I try not to, but…sometimes, yeah.”
“I’ve been thinking about our fight a lot, lately,” John confessed, “At Ace. I used to think about it a lot when I got recommitted, but… You started visiting me,” he said softly, a light smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “You remember when I told you I thought I’d messed things up for us?”
“Yeah.” It was Bruce’s first visit to John. He never forgot the sheer hopeful joy on John’s face upon seeing him. It was practically engraved in his memory.
“Ever since I started sessions with Crane, I kept going back to that night. He always tried to weasel my worst secrets out of me,” he said with a low scowl, “but when he started using that…toxin on me… I kept…thinking about what could have happened back there. I… I know I almost killed you.”
The sheer pain reading in John’s eyes was enough to make Bruce want to wrap his arms around him. It was beautiful and raw and honest, and Bruce found himself holding stock still, almost captivated by the expression.
“I kept seeing it. Over and over – it was like I could see myself throwing you over the railing or-or stabbing you, or...” Bruce saw tears welling up as John clenched the pillow between them. “I don’t want to come close to that again, Bruce,” he managed to say, his voice starting to hitch. “I don’t… I don’t want to kill you.”
Bruce threw his pride away and grabbed John’s hand in his. “You won’t.”
“You…you don’t know that,” John said with a light sob. “If…if I…go back to how I was… If I mess up...”
Bruce squeezed his hand, feeling the soft skin twitch under his fingertips. “I won’t pretend you’re perfect,” he said, honesty seeping through every word, “but I know you, John. I know you’re not going after Crane out of revenge, like you did with Waller. You reached out to me for help – but you were already trying to find a way to stop him without resorting to just stabbing him with the nearest shiv.”
John sniffed, a tiny twitch at the corner of his mouth like he was almost smiling. “Yeah…”
“So you’re not the same person you were then, are you?” He soothed with a supportive smile. “Even if you feel you are going backward, I know it won’t be to that same point.”
“Maybe…” he said with another sniff, looking more serious. “But Bruce, you know there are things I can’t ever really stop, right? The auditory psychosis is pretty much going to stay with me the rest of my life,” he started, clutching Bruce’s hand back, “and I’m not going to lie here and pretend my pulse wasn’t pounding a mile a minute when we were fighting those mobsters out there.” He sported a small knowing grin at him. “You know what that’s like, though, don’t you…”
(Yes, he did.)
“…you know what’s funny? I used to think one bad day could turn a person completely upside down.” John managed to stroke his thumb against Bruce’s knuckle, sending a little shiver over the skin, and Bruce wondered if John knew how incredibly intimate that gesture felt as he stared softly at him from the pillow. “Especially after Waller came to town… But…I never really thought things could go back up after it. I guess it just…takes a while.”
Bruce knew there was something right in John’s line of thinking. It only took one day to turn his life on its head, and he felt he knew, despite John having no memory of his life before Arkham, that something similar had happened to him. “Well…they say time heals all wounds.”
“How much passed before yours started to heal?”
He almost didn’t want to answer. The truth was that he wasn’t sure at all if he was ever going to fully heal, despite knowing what his parent’s really were. Maybe it was because he knew the terrible truth about them that they wouldn’t ever heal right. Maybe he’d always have that miserable note in the background of his life.
“…I’m still healing.”
“I didn’t say you stopped, buddy,” John chuckled with a knowing look. “Still…got good days and bad days, huh?”
“Feels like it, yeah.” Today…was definitely more of a mixed day. Looking at John across from him, though, all honest and open, and thinking back to how it felt to fight alongside him again, and investigate with him, with that warmth and instant familiar comfort between that never faded away, he almost felt like he wanted to call it a good day. “Today might have tilted things right-side up.”
John laughed, a genuine, humored one that was almost infectious. “Now I know I’m rubbing off on you; that sounds like something I’d say!”
John slipped his hand away and turned to lie on his back, still chuckling to himself. The warmth still burned in Bruce’s palm, and he found himself reluctant to pull his hand away at all.
John turned to him once more, an all-too-familiar affection shimmering brightly in the green depths. It pulled Bruce in and made him feel like he should inch close enough to feel the warmth and security it promised. “’Night, Bruce.”
“Goodnight, John.”
John turned over, leaving Bruce to stare at the bruises forming on his shoulders. There was the terrible temptation in his hands to shove the pillow between them aside and wrap his arm around the man’s middle so he could lean into that pale, battered back and bury his face in a head of soft, green hair.
There was a worse urge, one so vivid it almost made Bruce’s head spin – he could just reach out and touch the bruises, feather-light, and trail his fingertips down the curve of spine until it arched with a pleased shudder, and Bruce could follow that trail with his mouth as far as John would let him.
Bruce turned his head away, the memory of John’s lips on his coming to the front of his mind, and he shut out the mental image of repeating that kiss right then and there, telling himself that he really shouldn’t feel that way towards someone who desperately needed support, nor to his best friend who he’d left scarred in more ways than one, and certainly not someone who was both.
It had been a long time since Bruce shared a bed with someone, and far, far longer when he shared one with someone he didn’t have sex with.
He hoped that was all it was. Just the bed’s memory getting to him, and nothing else…
Notes:  Super-sexy-plant-person-in-her-late-twenties Ivy is OUT. Cougar-aged-mobster-botanist Ivy is IN! >:) 
I really wanted a different Ivy. I’m tired of the young, uber-sexy walking plant-human-hybrid that’s immune to all toxins and diseases; plants get diseases, too, and she’s so plant-like she should have some kind of physical humanizing weakness! It’s much more interesting to have a human who’s just built up an immunity and uses her babies for weapons and business; I kept her serious environmentalist trait, though, because while I dislike the anti-hero thing she’s got going on lately and would love to see her as a straight-up villain again, we do have to relate to her somehow, and her love of nature is always going to be a good part of her. Since Harley’s older, too, I figured it would be alright if they had a ten-year gap between them, so when Pam eventually goes to Black Gate one day, they’ll be pals. ;)
And Bruce you complete fool!!!! You should’ve kissed him!!!  Why do you do this to yourseellllfff? D:
I'm sorry it took so long, but as you can tell, I had a lot to work on, and I’m doing my best to write the next chapter as quickly as I can while this nutty energy in my brain is still fresh. I’m trying to keep with my weekly schedule, but I hope you guys are okay with having a gap day, as appears to be the habit now. ( ._. ) I mean, no one yells at me or anything for being late, but I aim to please with my work, and part of that is being consistent. 
I shall continue to try my hardest! (*`へ´*) 彡3 See you next weekend!!!
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