#// naughty paladin.

[kannibalkaiii]

A Thief's curse⏳

Caspian stole some treasure with a mysterious symbol on it...another with an hourglass charm?

Now he's cursed(or blessed) with new endowments and a curvy shape

-

He's surprised/ shocked rn but here eventually uses it to his advantage, stealing hearts and wallets~

-

Extra backview 🍑

1 like = 1 slap

[rclldamage]

It was methodical how the holy guard moved about the room and doffed his gleaming armor. His breastplate was laid so perfectly into the soft cushion of a nearby chair, followed shortly by his gauntlets and chausses. The elegant shield was leaned against the same chair, followed by the warhammer. The light hammer was placed on the nightstand for easy reach. Everything had a place and a purpose for its placement. His eyes roamed over the others' form, so eager and coiled in anticipation. Yet, Wyatt was a patient man who was both polite and respectful … if not a little teasing. As he approached Theodore ( he refused to call him Teddy ), he toyed with the leather strap in his hands. Folding it and wrapping it so slowly around one before testing its give with the other.

Standing before the bed in only his small clothes, his knees pressed into the mattress. Large frame caused the wooden supports to creak under his weight while he moved across the surface. His thighs flexed with each movement of his body until he was close enough to the man to throw his leg over his waist and straddle his body. Theodore was smaller than him but that meant little in such an intimate situation where doors were locked and windows were shuddered. The outside world did not exist for either of them and only that moment had been important. His azure gaze still focused on him, eyes on eyes, he leaned forward to press a chaste kiss to the man’s forehead, then lowered downward to connect their lips. A slow and lethargic kiss where his tongue pushed past slender lips to delve into the wet heat of Theodore’s mouth. It was a kiss that he savored while his body weight alone held the man in place.

Wordlessly, he pulled from the kiss and leaned back. His free hand gathers both of Theodore’s wrists together before tying them with the leather strap. Each bit of movement from Wyatt was slow and deliberate. A movement of which sang that he was taking his time and enjoying it while his eyes never left the other man’s. Shifting his larger frame against Theodore, he adjusted his position and inspected his work. Pleased with the outcome, his smile slowly spread into a lazy smirk while he pinned the man’s bound wrists above his head and leaned down to whisper in his ear. While he said the words in his own Quorian tongue, the tone of which he spoke them was pointed and direct. “Yua ruuk su pieatovar. Hirpriss. Eegir. Og'm guong tu priit yua err nogyt, pieatovar uni.” He pulled back only to lower his head and kiss the pulse in Thedore’s neck. Slowly, he started to work his lips downward, worshiping the body pinned beneath his own.

answered ask for @holysound

[kroovv]

Can we see or hear more about Heath?

I actually don’t have loads of finished art of Heath, i only really have this full body one of his initial design

Buttt a little about him, his name is Heathcliff Du Fraye he’s a college of whispers bard who i am currently playing in our Circus Campaign, in the circus he provides music for the performances he plays the hurdy gurdy, violin and accordion very well but do not ask him to write lyrics he is not lyricist though he did write a poem for our group paladin who eats raw eggs

Heath is a bit of a trickster, a jokester, enjoys a good razzin and has a tendency to stir the pot if there is drama, he especially enjoys being naughty with out team sorcerer Amity, they have similar sense of humour. He is generally pretty chill and easy going but will lie to people a lot cause he thinks it’s funny but also to try keep people a bit at arms length so they don’t find out who he actually is 👀

He wears the plague doctors mask because he has a disease that causes him to be very contagious, he doesn’t let any body touch him and no one (except our party rogue) has seen him without his mask, the team doesn’t know much about this yet so i wont say much about it but they do know he has something going on that causes his to have terrible chronic pain that he doesn’t take care of it in the best way.

Babies got a lot of problems, he hates that he can’t touch people but recently he learnt mage hand so he can touch people a little bit and his friends learnt mage hand so they can at least touch him that way, also because of mage hand he can do one of the things that he really enjoyed which is cooking for other people, he is a pretty good cook and he really enjoys bringing people together with food and music

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Cameos & Familiar Faces

Entirely subjective yadda yadda. Organized by favs in each category. No numbered lists anymore, tumblr be buggn'.

End of Aug Start Sept 2023

Ongoing Series - Thai

Laws of Attraction (Sat iQIYI) 8fin - Oh the DRAMA. Why does the insane ex (my true love) remind me of the cartel leader from Romancing the Stone? Even the sides got HEA! It was fucking great!!!!! Charn remains a bonkers spoiled evil murderous brat with a cruel smile beloved by his one true paladin. Also: post it love note trope! Been a long while my old friend. NO SINGING!!!!! I do love that wedding jacket frock coat cape thing Charn wore. 

In conclusion: This is a great gay suspense thriller with several solid couples, fun plot, killer characters, queer rep, and a happy ending. Charn may be my favorite lead character of 2023. However, this show is not entirely BL, more on the fringe, like Manner of Death. Add that to several "singing incidents" and pairs being a little weak in the chemistry arena, and this lands safely in 9/10 territory. It’s tons of fun tho: HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. 

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Sat grey) ep 3 of 12 - This show is getting more and more lakorn each ep. Apparently the straights are having a class divide arranged marriage crisis. Who cares? Our boy is ALWAYS in trouble. Crazy that he has to save the people who betrayed him in a previous life - but I guess he chose revenge! That's unexpected.

Had to switch to grey and couldn’t find a working rip. It was frustrating and I wouldn’t have bothered except I like this show so much. Still, it means no screen caps because the rez is naff.

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 3 of 12 - Uh oh. Kang wants to save Sailom and be his hero. The fact that K’s Pa puts no pressure on him whatsoever, makes me wonder if K's Ma committed suicide or something? It’s definitely the opposite parental dynamic we normally see in BL. I have to say, the pacing is great in the show. And the acting is on point. It’s really great. 

Hidden Agenda (Sun YT) ep 8 of 12 - these two just kiss well. I mean not "rip your clothes off Taiwan-style," but sweet young boyfriends-esk. Joke wants to be claimed so bad. It’s great. I enjoyed this ep, unfortunately it looks like we have a manufactured angst drama drop in the next episode. Is this a 10 episode arc? I thought it was 12. It’s odd to have doom happening next episode already.

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 4 of 10 - Back story time! Ray and Mew are HARD to watch. Incestuous friend group gay is the worst. Omg I got such QAF vibes from this ep. Nick Boston Sand chats = very throw back 90s gay soaps. 

Location game moment: Top's hotel room is also Chan’s apartment in Laws Of Attraction. 

Naughty Babe (Sat YT) ep 1 of 8 - Ooo. Est is back! Hi handsome. Head of security suits you. Please lead out the new Waterboyy remake? You’re perfect for the role. (If it must happen.) Yi’s Pa is GREAT. Please give daddy a nice boy? Could that be our secondary couple for this series? 

Meanwhile, with the leads (sorry I was distracted by daddy) we got us an arranged marriage, run away bride, and an amnesia trope. Put in a secret baby and it's squarely 1980's Harlequin. Will there be Vikings? Sex herbs? Pirates? Dub con?

Be Mine Super Star (Mon Viki) ep 9 of 12 - Again with lovely sex scenes, it’s just the plot stringing them together is frayed. Also don’t fuck in an onsen. Both yech and ouch.

That goes for all y’all.  

Wedding Plan (Wed YT & iQIYI) ep 7fin - Trash watch here! Honestly this was an okay ending, I’m not mad at it. If you can tolerate Mame and liars (kinda the same thing) you’ll be fine with this show.

Summation: An innocent wedding planner falls haplessly and hopelessly in love with a groom who relentlessly pursued him, even though he’s about to marry someone else. A somewhat lackluster mame offering with less of the usual stellar chemistry, but all of the usual lies and manipulation. 7/10

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - I skip everything to do with Tammy and it’s fine. There’s only about 20 minutes of fine but that’s more than enough. On the bright side. So far. No singing.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 24 eps - Cassanova Begins Part 2. Aw. It was sad. Another variation on the “my ghost boyfriend” trope (usually sad). 2/10 I don't do sad BL.

Next up is Merry Go Round featuring the pair from Destiny Seeker (we likey) who want to marry each other, but end up fake engaged to the same woman. Beard squared? Looks silly.

Crazy Handsome Rich (Sun Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - There are 2 things I like about this. I bet you can guess what they are.

Lee Long Shi

The whipping boy trope

There wasn’t enough of either in this first ep. ALSO the captions, sound effects, and voice over are truly next level bad. Utterly atrocious.

The 2 leads fucking around in the end credits was the funniest part of the whole show. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Jun & Jun (Korea Thur Viki) ep 7 of 8 - I am confused and frustrated about what the communication delay is between the two Juns. It feels artificial and narratively manufactured. But since this is a short form KBL and I know it will be resolved quickly, I’m not as annoyed as I would be if this were Thai BL. Still it feels audience manipulative. I also feel sorry for Simon. BUT it looks like it’ll be a sweet boyfriends final episode.

Stay By My Side (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 10fin - Omg they’re so cute!!! Taiwan the purveyors of ultimate sappy gay domesticity. I am going to miss having these to nonsencing all over my dash.

This show was an interesting take on the "ghost boyfriend" trope. About a boy who is tormented by hearing the dead, except when he is around one other boy - desperation+proximity = love. Unfortunately, the story was erratic and waffled about. While the leads turned in solid performances and the sappy domesticity was off the charts, it never really had the strength of the narrative convictions such a strong concept should have supplied. Highly rewatchable and enjoyable for that sappy domesticity but not a whole lot more. Still I always give extra credit for the diabetes-inducing sugar content and rewatch capacity. 8/10 

Kisseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) eps 3 of 13(?) - I love the punching thing - there is a lot of violent flirting in this show. I’m not mad about it. Ugh, poor thing has real abandonment issues. And now trust issues. I see why we’re getting 12-14 eps. This gonna be MESSY.

Meanwhile, does EVERYONE have a guest cameo? Not that I’m complaining. Hi BLIHID boys! Now I need to rewatch that show. 

Love Class Season 2 (Korea Fri Viki) eps 7-8 of 10 - Oh my God the next morning w/ couple 2 was so darn cute. They are all such terrible flirts with each other. Honestly, this show makes me laugh more than any other BL currently airing. I’m not sure it is meant to be as funny as I find it. While couple 3 (the mature characters) is by far my favorite, I actually think they don’t work with the other two pairs, they feel superfluous to the show. I like the show better because they’re in it, but it feels like two different BL‘s stuck together. KBL certainly can’t handle more than two couple threads at the same time. 

Why R U? (Korea Wed iQIYI) eps 3-4 of 8 - Ugh. I am such a sucker for the FighterTutor dynamic. Why so good? Uh oh. Real kiss! KBL you're spoiling us. But, isn’t sad-seme-hyung dating some chick? Argh. Poor Sunwoo. This show is even worse at repping Fighter's character sympathetically. Who knew that was possible?

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 3 of 8 - The date episode! Even Japan is doing it now. And these two who have been living/fucking together for ages still dance around each other like junior high kids. I gotta say, I watch this one twice because Vicki has different subs from Gaga. I feel like it’s easier to understand if I watch two different translations of the same script. But it’s still quite a taciturn piece. 

Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu Gaga) ep 8 of 12 - Sides are great. It was mostly a cute ep with tiny bits of Progress and a proper Confession. I miss Shin’s siblings. And then… the much loathed amnesia trope. Really?

Everyone say it with me: Must you, Japan? 

Stay Still (Hong Kong Tues YouTube) ep 5fin - It ended happier than I was expecting. Optimistic for one couple, and most likely optimistic for the other.

Summation: What to say about this offering from Hong Kong? It’s different, a mix of early CBL, Taiwanese shorts, and Pinoy visuals. It felt like the story was 2 independent shorts that had been lengthen and then stuck together, and I wish they'd been approached as separate and tighter entities. Nevertheless, this was a complex little piece,  interesting in a sweaty grungy way, with a certain aura of queer authenticity that made it simultaneously tense, unpredictable, and refreshing. I’m not sure I would necessarily call it BL, but any county’s early foray into the genre usually starts out this way, so perhaps nascent BL? Worth watching, especially if you enjoy stuff from the Philippines and Taiwan. 7/10

In case you missed it

Dinosaur Love ended its run but the final 2 eps are behind a paywall. Word on the street is they aren't good anyway (shocker) so I'm marking it as DNF and moving on with my life. If I can find em grey I'll watch 'em merely so I can give it a rating, but I can't imagine it will get more than 5/10. Seriously, do not bother.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Coming September

9/15 You Are Mine (Taiwan Gaga) Secretary has to deal with grumpy boss.

9/15 Bump Up Business AKA Bump Up Project (Korea movie) suspected cinema release? I don't know much about what's going on. Last status update. Love story between a trainee who is about to debut and a celebrity from the same agency. Kpop boy group OnlyOneOf has signed up to star in this idol-based BL (based on a webtoon). They’ve been auditioning for this since Libido IMHO. You can watch me chronicle their BL MV series in this post. It’s from Idol Romance who will do sad but can do good kisses (Wish You, Nobleman Ryu, Once Again, Kissable Lips, Poongduck 304, Tasty Florida, Tinted With You).

9/26 I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan ????) - Adapted from the manga, childhood best friends: The cool, smart one who’s good at everything, and his average, dorky friend who struggles. Always by the other’s side, but not together in the way they truly want to be. No matter how hard they try, their hearts cannot reach each other.

9/27 Absolute Zero (Thai iQIYI) - from 2021, Studio Wabi Sabi and New Siwaj finally bring us this “time loop to prevent tragedy” romance. We don’t always get HEAs from them, so I'm on my guard.

9/? Venus in the Sky (Thai iQIYI) 10 eps

9/? Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam YouTube?)

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Hidden Agenda hitting us up with a hug + lap + kiss. Very nice.

I think these two might be GMMTV's best cuddlers.

Boys, I think your JoongDunk is showing.

(Last week) 

[wellthebardsdead]

Karlach: Funny how Wyll was ready to take off my head for ‘being a devil’ when you’re literally standing here. I suppose you want the enjoyment of taking me back to Avernus yourself then?

Ezekiel: Aha! Return to the hells? No. For the first time in over a century, Im unsupervised on the mortal plane… I’m… free… sort of. For now at least. No doubt my keepers are already desperately scrambling to find me and drag me back to my cage before Baalphegor finds out I’m gone.

Karlach: Baalphegor? Keepers?…

Ezekiel: I- ugh, I should have kept my mouth shut… If- Zariel sees you as her attack dog. I’m Baalphegors prized show dog. Trained just the way she likes to entertain, pleasure, and slaughter anyone she wants… and my keepers… If those paladins of tyr were zariels dog catchers… My keepers are like a- team of veterinarians. 13 devils who keep my health and ‘wellbeing’ in check. They bathe me, clothe me, preen me, enrich me, and… feed me… sometimes gently… other times holding me down… even after I tell them it hurts… *sighs* They’ll stop at nothing to make sure Baalphegor doesn’t know her favourite bitch is loose without his collar. So for now. I’m going to enjoy my freedom. While I still have it…

Karlach: …Don’t worry… I’ll make sure nobody takes your freedom from you…

Wyll: we both will.

Ezekiel: thank you…

*literally that night*

Mizora: Aw look, my favourite pet caught two, very naughty runaways~

Karlach: gods damn it!

Wyll: shit-

Ezekiel: *voice trembling as he realises he’s screwed* n-no…

[craziechwiv]

The Paladin and their Succubus Frenemy - 4

After their eventful evening at the local tavern, the heroes and their new teammate as of right now were headed back to their base. Ren and Nora, still skeptical of the whole situation at hand, was welcoming to the member as the three of them talked about their goals and ambitions, also where they originally were from as well. For Pyrrha however...she was open to having some extra hands in the pursuit of keeping the village safe and decimate demons, but after hearing how Ruby and Jaune met?

Her mood and the way she saw Ruby was nothing more than someone who would show her true colors, and harm their leader. And she made it perfectly clear while Jaune and her were walking behind the trio, a sizable distance away so they couldn't here.

Pyrrha: Just listen to me Jaune! What if she isn't who she claims? What if she's like a mercenary for hire for all we know?! And her attacking you was a ploy to actually kill you but now she's playing it off as such so she could get close to us and kill us all?!

Jaune: Pyrrha, I understand your concerns, but I can handle myself is they do 'gods forbid' try such an act! Listen, the whole way we met was sketchy for me too, but she felt remorseful for her actions and wanted to make it up to me. If I sense anything but safety when she's around me, you'll be the first to know.

Pyrrha was still staring daggers behind Ruby's back, who could internally feel the red-haired champions disliking towards her, even when not face to face with them.

Jaune sensed her stress and nervousness like it was a heatwave only building up every second she stared at the small crimson wearing girl in front of them. To distract her from said feelings, he grabbed her hands and stopped their momentum, having Pyrrha confused and a blushing mess as she looked at him.

Jaune: Pyrrha, please?! You were one of the first members alongside me when this team was created. You can believe I'll have your back on your intuitions all the way, right? So please, trust me on this one. She isn't a threat and if she is, you know what to do

Pyrrha had to admit one thing only to herself or to Jaune, whenever she had the courage to tell him that is. Her weaknesses were few and physical but one. And that one singular weakness was how Jaune spoke truthfully to her, and the way he makes it sound was what drove each and every member in this team to become the strong fighters they were today. Of course, with help from her to become a fit leader, but after that he has become capable of taking on challenges all by himself. Pyrrha couldn't help but internally shout with excitement at their close interaction as well.

Him holding her hands, what a dream come true for her. She may be a member of the cathedral, but she couldn't help but admit that this made her feel abit naughty. If only they could do more together, like him cupping her cheek and giving her a passionate kiss. Or maybe a cold night together in the same bed, cuddling one another for warmth under a nice silk blanket,

Or maybe they could both get intimate, and she could think of a different way for him to warm her up. Oh, how she could barely comprehend her imagination sometimes, but at the same time, it's like a different thrill when not in combat. She just wishes to have him in bed already and have him take out his big, throbbing, co-

Jaune: Pyrrha?

Pyrrha: Eh?

Unfortunately, reality has called her back. Pyrrha realized they were still on the path home, with the others not in sight and it was only Jaune and her. How long was she out daydreaming again? And what were they even talking about?

Jaune: Do you still trust me?

Pyrrha remembers now, his speech. As hard as it was to not Invision what their new 'friend' was all about, she couldn't bare say she didn't trust Jaune with all her life. Maybe, she'll give the new member a chance. Just one of course.

Pyrrha: sigh Alright Jaune, I'll be less harsh towards her, for you.

Jaune: Thank you Pyrrha! You won't regret it. Arc promise!

Pyrrha: Hehe, I'm sure I won't Jau-woah!

Jaune: Now c'mon, let's get back home before they end up doing something without us!

Jaune dragged Pyrrha along, with the both of them still holding hands tightly. The both of them were enjoying the views around town so much so, that neither of them could focus on the figure up above a home's building, licking the blood off their hand as a corpse of their victim laid near them. Their piercing red eyes and flame like blond hair remained seeable even in the dark, as they sat there satisfied with their meal, watching the duo make their way towards the Cathedral.

???: Oh, sister of mine. You really went all in trying to protect your new possession, hmm~? I must say, you becoming allies with our sworn enemy just to get close to him is quite a stretch, but I'll let you have your fun. After all,

What kind of big sister would I be to not care for what's not yours?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Jaune and Pyrrha finally made it back to their dorm room, they could already hear muffled chatter going from beyond the door. As Jaune opened said door, they saw Nora zipping around the dorm while dragging a scared Ruby who looked at them with confusion.

Safe to say, they seemed to have missed Nora giving their new pal a tour of the place in their absence, with Ren not even trying to stop her, only sipping some tea as he nodded his head to welcome them both back.

Nora: And this is our living room! We each have our own rooms in different hallways. The boys get the left side, us gals get the right! Sounds simple right?

Ruby: Uh, y-yep. Just go alil slower please...

Nora: Ohhh, right sorry. I tend to just keep going and going so when I'm like; nobodycanunderstandwhenI'msayingsoIjustkeeptalkingwhiletheycanunderstandmeatall!

Do you ever get that feeling?

JPRR: ...

Ruby: Is she like this-

Ren: All the time? Yes.

Jaune: Better get used to it, lords know we still have to.

Pyrrha: It's sort of like our own little game to try and guess what she says sometimes...

Nora: Hehe!

Ruby shook Nora's hand and let herself go from it.

Ruby: Well, thank you for the tour around your home. And again, thank you all for letting me join you. I hope to prove myself while working alongside each and every one here.

Jaune: Trust us, we're happy to have you. The arrival was a bit unexpected, even for me. But we'll definitely start your training soon.

Ruby: I can't wait!

With the tension between everyone dying down, Ruby decided it was time to get comfortable living with her newfound...obstacles. She of course only wanted their leader but, they did seem like good folks to live with. So why not intrigue her own mind to see what they are made of?

Ruby: If you all don't mind, I'm going to check out my new room.

Nora: Do you need me to show you again?

Ruby: N-No, I really cannot forget where it is. Seriously, it is quite literally burned into my brain.

Ruby made a quick haste to her room, closing the door behind her and locking it. As she breathed in a sigh of relief, she let her wings out along with her claws, giving them some time to breathe. She may become used to being seen as human with the ability to hide her true form, but it drains her slowly each day that she needs to release it sometimes. And with no subtle supply to help her regain energy faster...it's a given she hasn't passed out yet. While she took in a few breaths of air, she looked around the room. The decor was...not bad. Of course, some things would have to change, but at least there wasn't a hundred crosses in here.

Succubus!Ruby: I must say, my acquaintances for the moment do treat their guests with respect. I kind of feel bad for using them, all to get close to my beloved-

Knock, knock, knock.

'Shit, shit, shit, shit!' Ruby cursed herself as she tried to hide her form but was having trouble concentrating. It was like she forgot she had locked the door behind her.

Pyrrha: Excuse, Ms. Ruby? It's me, Pyrrha. I want to talk to you. It's about earlier...

Ruby: O-Oh hang on, I was just admiring the room abit!

Ruby held her concentration long enough for her wings and claws to become hidden once more. Satisfied with the outcome, she opened the door to let Pyrrha in.

Ruby: What's up?

Pyrrha: I...owe you an apology for my past interactions and thoughts.

Ruby: What do you mean?

Pyrrha inhaled her breath before letting out her past feelings towards Ruby.

Pyrrha: When I first heard how you and Jaune met, I truly thought you were out to harm him or worst, but after giving it much thought. I can't imagine what you had to go through from how you explained your first human interactions coming here. And with Jaune's arrival, you must've thought he was one of those thieving...idiots. I hope this doesn't damage our relationship as friends.

Ruby could already sense some tension between the two of them, but she had to admit, the girl has some pair to tell her straight to her face that she didn't like her from the get-go. Ruby nearly wanted to slice her up the second she said it all but, she must remain patient. If anything she's witnessed or heard, this Pyrrha person is nothing short of a wimp. Who knows, maybe keeping her alive with have some benefits gained.

Ruby: Pyrrha...I'm sorry I made you feel this way. And believe me I can understand why you feel such a way. I just...I'm just glad I didn't hurt him.

Pyrrha: As am I, you seem like a capable fighter judging from your story at the tavern. Maybe you and I can spar? It may be a teaching moment for us both!

Ruby smiled brightly towards Pyrrha, already picturing them sparring and her 'accidentally' turning their friendly match into a fight to the death. But she must stay on course, then she can have some fun.

Ruby: I'd be delighted to.

Pyrrha: Perfect! I'll leave you alone now, have a good rest of your night!

Ruby, closing the door: You too! ...skank.

She may not agree on anything they all have said to her, but one thing was clear as day. A good rest is what Ruby needs after all this mess. The hard part was already done with anyways, infiltrating their base. Now, it was time for her to have some fun terrorizing their leader in secret~.

Next chapter >

[profiterole-reads]

2023 Favourites

In no particular order. This is content I've read and watched in 2023, not necessarily content released in 2023.

Books

1. Notorious Sorcerer by Davinia Evans: fantasy with some m/m. The protagonist travels to other planes for alchemical ingredients and ends up having to learn greater workings. I love the Byzantine vibe of the worldbuilding.

2. The Daughters of Izdihar by Hadeer Elsbai: fantasy with some f/f. Two women, a waterweaver and an earthweaver, join a women's rights movement. I love the Egyptian-inspired worldbuilding.

3. Reforged by Seth Haddon: m/m fantasy. This King/Paladin novel has a surprising plot. The magic system is very original as well, I especially like the music part of it.

4. The Buried and the Bound by Rochelle Hassan: urban fantasy with some m/m (YA). The hedgewitch protecting the town teams up with a boy cursed to forget his true love and another one trapped as a bondservant.

5. [Spanish] Lazos de Sangre by LR Jeffers: m/m urban fantasy (erotica). This is a series about werewolves and big cat shifters, usually angsty and hot.

6. [French] Meute by Karine Rennberg: urban fantasy with some m/m + another protagonist is aroace and uses sign language. This is a novel about building your own werewolf pack. I think this is my first time encountering 2nd-person narration in French and it works surprisingly well.

7. Cascade by Rachel A. Rosen: science fantasy with mlm and wlw protagonists + no romance. An ecological disaster has freed magic. In Canada, the Party works with a wizard in order to try and save humanity. I love the intricacies of the plot, which skilfully mixes politics, science and magic.

8. Ocean's Echo by Everina Maxwell: m/m science fiction. Telepathy, my favourite trope, done by one of my fave authors! It was even better than I expected.

9. The Deep Sky by Yume Kitasei: science fiction/murder mystery with several non-binary major characters. 80 people from all around the world embark on a one-way interstellar voyage. As they're all required to get pregnant, they're obviously afab, but several are non-binary, with mentions of a trans man.

10. Forget Me Not by Alyson Derrick: f/f romance (YA). This is a very romantic novel about two girls dating in secret until one gets amnesia. I enjoy this trope a lot.

TV shows

1. Good Omens: fantasy with queer protagonists + some f/f. I love the book and I love the adaptation. Season 2 is original content, but it's faithful to the spirit of the novel.

2. Shadow and Bone: fantasy with some m/m (YA). This successfully mixes the Shadow and Bone trilogy (that I haven't read) and the Six of Crows duology (that I have read and enjoyed).

3. Warrior Nun: fantasy with some f/f. Nuns literally fight against demons.

4. The Power: superpower fiction with some f/f + a trans woman and an intersex man. Teenage girls start developing an electrical superpower, which makes them safer from men.

5. Nü Er Hong: GL wuxia. This c-drama is a quick watch, with 27 episodes of 2 minutes. I love that these short webdramas always have more or less the same actresses.

6. The Devil Judge: dystopia/thriller with BL vibes. This k-drama has a tight plot and fascinating characters. There's a girl in a wheelchair and the rep is well done.

7. Naughty Babe: BL romance/murder (attempt) mystery. This Thai drama is the sequel to Cutie Pie, except that they switched up the main pairing and the secondary pairing. I think it's possible to watch it on its own.

8. Wedding Plan: BL + GL romcom. This Thai drama has mlm-wlw solidarity, which I hope to see more of in the future. There are also cameos from the BL couples from Love in the Air.

9. Oh! My Assistant: BL romcom. This hilarious k-drama is about a het porn webtoon creator and his assistant. Despite this topic, the drama is not explicit.

10. Welcome to the Lesbian Bar: GL contemporary fiction. This k-drama is a quick watch, with 5 episodes of 6 minutes. In each episode, 2 customers come have a drink and chat with the owner.

Movies

1. Barbie: fantasy that is so gender! This was such a big surprise coming from Hollywood.

2. Nimona: fantasy with a protagonist who is a trans/enby allegory + some m/m (YA). I haven't read the graphic novel, so this was more depressing than I expected (it deals a lot with discrimination), but still an excellent movie.

3. Wingwomen (Voleuses in the original French): action movie with a sapphic protagonist + f/f vibes between the other two. I love heist movies all about women.

4. Kill Bok-soon: action movie with some f/f. This Korean movie has interesting cinematography. Note that it's very violent, though.

5. Red, White & Royal Blue: m/m romcom. I love the book and I love the adaptation.

6. Anything's Possible: m/f romance with a trans female protagonist (YA). This is a very positive movie, about love, art and nature.

7. Fanfic: m/m romance with a trans male protagonist (YA). This Polish movie is sometimes dark, sometimes fun.

[themoonstonechronicler]

naughty paladins get the period projection beam

[kouratdrhuii]

HoHoHo, This paladin of santa klaus wishes you a merry christmas and casts bless on you for the next 24h.

If you've been naughty, he'll give you coal.

Miniature by Titan forge

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 3/5/2024

really fucking around in Breath of the Wild and not defeating Ganon, even though i think i am fairly well prepared, which is probably indicative of something or a metaphor for some larger issue. oh well! guess we'll never know!

listening

Rock the Jungle by The Daniel Pemberton TV Orchestra, off an album of music from and inspired by LittleBigPlanet, a video game i have never played. Daniel Pemberton is a remarkably prolific british composer who mostly does film these days but also does a lot of BBC stuff.

this is the kind of scrubby pad to the brain electronica i need sometimes. i think these are heavily filtered and processed kookaburra sounds? at about the minute fifteen mark it adds a rolling, rollicking bassline that is, as im sure we all know by now, fucking catnip to me. at about 2:20 it adds alarm blares that fade in and out of a sort of disco-y organ? it uses its five minute runtime pretty well imo. i think this was off the spotify discover weekly.

-

reading

T Kingfisher's The Clockwork Boys, recced by @rae-being-naughty lo these many months ago, and my library hold finally came in. the goodreads blurb is a remarkably accurate sales pitch so let's yoink that

A paladin, an assassin, a forger, and a scholar ride out of town. It’s not the start of a joke, but rather an espionage mission with deadly serious stakes. T. Kingfisher’s new novel begins the tale of a murderous band of criminals (and a scholar), thrown together in an attempt to unravel the secret of the Clockwork Boys, mechanical soldiers from a neighboring kingdom that promise ruin to the Dowager’s city. If they succeed, rewards and pardons await, but that requires a long journey through enemy territory, directly into the capital. It also requires them to refrain from killing each other along the way! At turns darkly comic and touching, Clockwork Boys puts together a broken group of people trying to make the most of the rest of their lives as they drive forward on their suicide mission.

i had a lot of fun with this! very pratchett-esque in its imperial critique through bureaucratic loopholes thereof, which is catnip to me, but i do think Kingfisher is simply better at writing women. the forger is an only child and it fucking shows.

i think if it were 5% more devoted to Humorous Bits and didn't have some nice character work between the forging accountant and the big sad blond paladin man, i would have gotten frustrated with it. i think it is simply more of a comedy than any of its blurbs suggest, and it can be difficult to ride that line between comedy and character growth through desperate acts without getting a little bit of whiplash. this is me being very depressed and a bit nitpicky though. the line "Time passed, like a kidney stone" is going to stick in my brain for a while. i already have the sequel on hold

-

watching

if you do nothing else today could you please watch this car chase for me? ok thanks

Gunsmith Cats is a three-episode OVA that's a fancam of the american city of chicago and the cool girls that live and shoot and drive there, but let's just yank the MyAnimeList description

In the dangerous suburbs of Chicago, skilled bounty hunters Irene "Rally" Vincent and "Minnie" May Hopkins run Gunsmith Cats, a firearms store of questionable legality. One day, Bill Collins, an agent for the Chicago branch of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives, blackmails Rally and May into working with him on a case. The stakes are high, but Rally’s gunmanship and May’s knowledge of explosives are unmatched. As Rally and May unravel the secrets of the case, the two will need to use guns and grenades while being faster, stronger, and better than everyone else in order to stay alive.

all three episodes are free (in really nice quality) on youtube. i pitched this to wendy as "rally is jigen lupinthethird's little sister" and her driving skills and marksmanship... i'm not sure who would win between them but i wouldn't like to live on the difference.

animators, historically, hate animating guns and cars, except for the masochistic ones who use it to flex. there are at least three shots in each episode where i want to stand up and hold my cat above my head and hoot like a fuckin tusken raider. in the first episode, there's a raid on a smuggling warehouse (you know, a warehouse) where the BATF agent and Rally throw each other their guns and have a really cool FALLING OFF A CATWALK back to back shootout. it's hard to describe. watch the episode. i wish there were more than three episodes.

this is an OVA that, aside from the requisite panty shot and WHOOPS my whole shirt tore (one of each per episode per girl) is fairly normal about women? rally and minnie are...roommates. that bicker and eat pizza. they have a cool network of other slightly shady women they interact with a lot, and the big bad for most of the episodes is also a woman. this isn't like a bastion of feminism or anything it's just neat. sort of middling on the ass portion of the Weeb Ass Shit scale. low on the weeb and shit parts too. again this is a fancam of chicago with cool girls

i watched this bc i was trying to use up kanopy credits and came across the precursor to this, Riding Bean, which i did not love for several reasons (the big one being the legitimately pedophilic lesbian relationship) but the creator took the concept of Rally out of that forty minute...experiment? and that led me to Gunsmith Cats. thank u ppl who put free anime on youtube

-

playing

still futzing about in breath of the wild. fucking around with sidequests and a sudden need to at least discover all the shrines.

for example, i did all the labyrinth shrines. underneath the akkala labyrinth is the scariest room in the world, bc six of those fuckers are alive and they will all target you the instant you open that chest.

cannot be bothered with the eventide island shrine yet (the roguelike) bc it frustrates the hell out of me. did the thyplo forest one, which was extremely annoying bc it dimmed my whole TV screen (including the UI) instead of just dimming the game itself. im sure someone thought that would be such a cool detail but instead i found it extremely annoying and vey difficult to swap weapons or start campfires.

and then i trundled through a list of shrine quests, bc i apparently had TWELVE missing?? three were korok trials, one was eventide (apparently it only shows up as a quest if you are on the island or have finished it, bc if u die on the island it kicks you back to a pre-island save lmao) so for the others: three i just had to talk to people to officially start and then immediately complete the quest. remember when i was anxious about softlocking myself out of the jungle dragon shrine quest bc i went right there instead of talking to Kass? never fear, nintendo's got my back

"kay how did you possibly miss reading the giant stone tablet to start this quest--" i am not a clever woman. i go "oh i know what to do!!!" when i see the Orb and hare off without looking around further.

A Brother's Roast i missed bc i forgot to talk to everyone in Goron City after defeating rudania, didn't run across Test of Will (the Goron challenge in the Gerudo highlands) bc i forgot to look off that side of the tower and was very focused on gliding into the labyrinth at the right spot, and didn't run across Guardian Slideshow on the far south beaches bc i hadn't explored there yet.

A Stolen Heirloom was deeply annoying. i had four out of five quests complete to unlock this, but there is an unmarked side quest where you have to go into this lady's house at night to figure out she wants fireflies. maybe she has some ambient daytime barks about this? i have never heard them. this was a little obtuse. also i don't love the stealth in this game. this game's stealth really works when you are well out of detection range bc u have a sniper bow, and i find it works less well for me when i have to follow a target. no i haven't finished the korok stealth trial either.

non-shrine nonsense:

ive been using Stasis as a sort of VATS equivalent. in fallout, i like to hit VATS every once in a while just to see who's out there. how many radroaches are nearby. this also highlights most interactable things which i think is nice of the game

gerudo town stuff: i missed this sand seal racing challenge by SO little the first time which annoyed me so much, it took me six more tries to beat the damn thing. i am very charmed that they actually put in a garden for the kid who was trying to grow a garden!

some beach vegetation mysteries: im really baffled by this singular hearty radish growing in full sun in what is essentially sand with a dusting of palm bark. all the other hearty radishes i have seen are in deep forests with partial sun and lots of leaf litter. what the hell is this then. plus a neat little unique sea wrack? korok circle instead of the usual lilypads.

i didn't know this game knew how to do rainbows at all, let alone double ones!

i will leave you with my many attempts to make stamina potions.

-

making

making things requires both the perfect levels of anxiety (too little anxiety and im out doing normal people things, too much anxiety and i shut down, a medium level means im frantically making things to distract myself. we are at the high end of medium) and some level of income bc i inevitably need one or two things to finish projects. eg we are at the level of anxiety where i am only able to do simple things like repainting a whole bunch of big frames for my maps (procured when i had money) but i need more matboard. so they are sitting, 90% finished, in my office closet.

garden update: more than half my bush beans came up with no leaves and promptly died, which could be due to any number of things but im choosing to believe it's bc my bestie's five year old planted them a little too deeply. so it goes. all the sweet peas are fine, all my normal peas and most of my regular climbing beans came up. a little annoyed bc only a third of my nasturtiums came up even after soaking them for 24h as recommended. the shit i Bought (tomatoes, marigolds, mint, rosemary) is doing fine. the spinach and dill i planted are doing fine too, although the spinach also had about a 50% germination rate. this does mean i don't need to thin them but. Hm. yanno?

[gorillageek27]

Blake: I'm a naughty school girl who needs to be punished

Yang: I'm a Paladin with 18 charisma and 97 hit points. I can use my helm of disintegration and do one D4 damage as my half-elf mage wields his plus-five holy avenger

Blake: paladins can't use the helm of disintegration.

[monstersandmaw]

My Tav is a tielfing paladin and the default arm-cross idle whilst conversing pose makes him look like a disappointed primary school teacher, so I'm just running with that energy for him. You've been a very naughty slaver. You need to go to the naughty corner (2d6 warhamer + radiant damage).

Love that!!

[incorrect-worldless-quotes]

Aven: Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cozy. But if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.

Lightning Nightmare : My favorite is explaining the difference between a butt dial and a booty call.

Shade: It’s called connotations.

Lamp: Try this one on for size, “Forgive me, Father, I have sinned” vs “Sorry, Daddy, I’ve been naughty."

Dark Paladin : Great news! Language is now banned!

[sassenashsworld]

Hey everybody!

This is a call for love!

Emil Pagliarulo was a victim of haters, powerful trolls behind their keyboard who send him insult and dead treat and all

Just becauss he wanna be part of the bethesda community and he is NOT Bethesda Support

You should remember him at least for being part of the Death Shroud

Or for his kind words

Or for anything he have done to being close to his fans

You should remember him for his hard work to give us amazing games

And doing his very best to fix it

You should remember him for being a man of heart who want a better world

And I want this community of tolérance, love and fans, to remind him that over the hate he have receive, he is so much LOVE

Please, help me spread this message, add anything you thing, do your fan job

Show this man your love in any way you know!

A human, just before christmas, have receive à load of shit as gift to have give himself all to ourself

Please, help me show him HE IS LOVE

@rad-roche @aliaknife @tempestuous-tempest @luubyart @plasma-packin-mama @thebigolbee @badastronaut27 @advictoriams @valentineenjoyer @thegreatdivide @willinglyghoulified @maccreadysbaby @jasmineofthecommonwealth @iamarti00 @naughty-spidey @moths-in-a-sweater @al3ssio97 @nan4fallout @kamikaze-kumquat @space-kase @atombonniebaby @flowerpsyhosis @rinasai @piperwrightstireiron @paladin-bitch @paladin-danse @theartofblossoming @falloutconfessions @fallout-cowgirl @totally-not-deacon @deaconspade @falloutfangrell

Thanks @bleumanouche to already have share

[scatterbrie]

the paladin response to Astarion is so funny???? no naughty nuns in this playthrough I guess.

[image ID: a screen grab from Baldurs Gate Three with the player facing Astarion, who is half-nude saying "I think you want to be known, to be tasted." with the Paladin response being "Try to 'taste me' and I'll blast you with enough divine energy to turn you to ash."]

[kdinjenzen]

did you make a choice that seemed like it would be ok and then the game said it broke your oath and you rolled with it as a roleplay choice, or was it an rp choice you knew you wanted to do?

IVE BEEN SAD ALL DAY THAT MY OATH WAS BROKEN, OKAY? I ALMOST CRIED!

I WAS PROTECTING INNOCENT PEOPLE! I WAS DOING WHAT I PLEDGED MY OATH FOR!

AND THE GAME SAID "BAD PALADIN" SO NOW IM A NAUGHTY LIZARD GIRL WHO DOES GOOD THINGS ANYWAY