#// like this is the gothic horror that goes hand in hand with gothic romance i guess

[thanatologie]

i guess it's just my life now that Deep Thoughts About Emmrich™️are some of the first things to brain worm me after regaining consciousness (waking up), but hear me out okay-

emmrich has, really, four - no, sorry, five - paths his story can take, right.

mortal and romanced

mortal and unromanced

mortal and dead

lich and unromanced

lich and romanced

it's the first and last two i really wanna talk about, and mostly the last, but let's consider:

the implication is, i think, when you choose to romance emmrich, it's an in it to win it kind of romance. it, more than the age gap, is why harding brings up how fast he and rook are moving (i'm sorry i love her and calling her lace is going to forever feel weird, forgive me), she gets that he's in deeper probably than intended, way faster than intended. like lich or mortal, it doesn't matter, it's very much implied rook becomes his Person™️in a way, say, an unromanced emmrich going out with strife doesn't have happen. that's just a date. but as a romanced emmrich progresses through the story, after the big fight he and rook have, after they kiss and make up post-fade prison and leading up to the last push for elgar'nan, there's a chance to have an interesting piece of dialogue with him where he talks about how he has so many plans he wants to share and talk about once everything's over and they're back home.

i don't think it's a stretch to assume where those plans lead, is what i'm saying, right. like...maybe more so than another of the other companions, emmrich finds his soulmate with rook. guy's just been handed everything he's ever longed for on a silver platter, especially in the mortal and romanced path, because he has manfred, and he has rook, and that's it. he's gotten his family. and i'd be lying to you if i didn't say he was probably terrified going into that last fight, because he could lose it again, just that quick, either by his death, by rook's, by something happening to manfred.

but this ain't about him.

where it really has interesting implications - and by interesting i mean horrible - is if emmrich's gone the lich and romanced path. because the tone changes in...a lot of stuff. the fight is different, because while both boil down to his fear of losing rook - which i will argue is actually greater than his fear of dying himself - a lich emmrich is very much kind of...overbearing? in a way? trying to get rook to hang back because now he's no longer as easy to kill (and i don't even know if kill is the right word there, either for me to use or emmrich, destroy might be more accurate). it's no longer an issue of his fear of death - if they've been all aboard the bone express with a lich emmrich, it's now all about rook. losing rook. how he's now afraid he'll mourn rook forever. and now he no longer has manfred.

so, my thought on this is - and not to make it dramatic, because emmrich's got enough of that nonsense for the both of us, dude just feels things incredibly deeply and 0/10 shows it - romanced and liched out is the worst possible ending for him. worse than a mortal him dying in the battle - that's quick, it's over in the blink of an eye. a lich emmrich...sure, he's got someone that loves him no matter what, that's nice. who supported his choice in becoming something more. but he has immediate buyer's remorse about that decision, because for all his talk about keeping rook safe, etc etc, the truth is, he's going to end up mourning them forever regardless. he's still lost manfred, and it clearly hits him harder than i think he would like people to think. i think the crushing weight of the certainty that, no matter what, he's going to lose rook regardless also comes crashing down on him.

all ground i've stomped on before, i know. but consider the implications of that. people like rook - heroes, is what i mean, i've got a lot of experience with heroes - don't die easy in their beds, you know? some people can settle down after something like this and live a quiet life forever after, but those types are going to be rare, because the types of people who answer the call to be a hero can't leave shit alone once they've been bitten. they see trouble and run toward it.

i think....a romanced lich emmrich goes bad. i don't mean a mwoo ha ha kind of bad, i don't mean...i don't know...a corypheus kind of bad (is that even going bad, though, considering- you know what, never mind). i think all those oaths he's taken as a watcher, and all those he probably had to take as a lich lord go out the window. i think there would be a lot of line crossing. a lot of big flashing no nos. mostly because no, i don't think emmrich is equipped for eternity. i don't think he can handle others passing through death when he can't. he might get, hell, forty+ years with rook, but what's a handful of decades with the love of your life when eternity stretches like a yawning void without them in front of you, right?

what that looks like, i don't really know. does he do what others have done before him and try to bring them back from wherever they go after death? i don't know, maybe. he's a necromancer, play to your strengths, i guess. whatever it looks like, i do think there's a distinct possibility for him to get pushed over some edge. like...it's hard to imagine, i guess, because he's so damn kind, but he's also not built for what he's asking himself to do, and i think instead of his (trauma-induced anxiety disorder) fear of death very quickly could become replaced by an all-consuming dread for the inevitable which could take him down some very, very dark roads.

[nightingale2004]

Severus Snape headcanon ideas

He has a journal that was gifted to him by his mother before he went to Hogwarts.

He writes everything in that journal. His thoughts, his feelings, ideas for potions, and spells, along with poetry. He even does little sketches in the journal (they're not half bad)

Ever since the marauders entered his life and his own house doesn't like him all that much, halfway through his first year at hogwarts, he casted a bunch of spells and runes on his journal so that way no one other than himself can open or see what is written inside the journal

The first page is titled "Property of the half-blood prince."

Severus never goes anywhere without it. He also casted a charm on it so that way whenever it's stolen or missing from his person, it will appear right next to him, in his bag, or in his hand

His journal also had dried plants and flowers from his journeys through the forbidden forest

The journal is very old and is held together by magic, pure determination, spite, and a dream (😂). Plus, he cherishes that journal

No one (I do mean NO ONE) has ever seen the inside of Severus's journal, including the marauders, his parents (his mother one time was granted access), his house mates, and even Lily

He once had an old walkman that he found in the streets and managed to fix it up from remembering, seeing how his father used to fix up machinery before the abuse

When he has a train compartment to himself, he immediately falls asleep (it's his only moment of peace!!!!!)

He secretly found the room of requirements that turns into a potions lab for him. He uses it for potion experiments

His experiments with potions have both literally and figuratively blown up in his face.

Would talk with the paintings of Hogwarts

Would find jewelry in the most random places and often wear some of them after he resizes them and cleans them

He loves dark and milk chocolate, along with raisins, and vanilla

Learned occlumency and legilimens very early in his Hogwarts years and has used it on more than one occasion

When he was a child, he couldn't dance to save his life, but McGonagall taught him everything she knew

He and McGonagall play wizards chess together

Before the bullying started, he secretly wanted to be James and Sirius's friend, but after they insulted his mother's house, that thought immediately vanished

Despite being very skinny, he throws an incredibly strong punch

If he did have an animagus form, it would either be a raven, crow, cat, or bat

He would brew health potions for the sick people in Cokeworth or those who couldn't afford decent medicine or medical attention. He became their young doctor and gets paid a bit on the side

Has done a lot of odd jobs in Cokeworth to help keep his home afloat

Whenever Tobias would kick him out, he would originally crash at the Evans home, but ever since the 'Mudblood' incident, he started crashing at some of the people he helped at Cokeworth's homes

He would wish he was born into the Evans family instead of the Snape family

Loves art and poetry

Has read chemistry books at the Muggle Library

He learned how to cook and bake when he was a kid

After the 'Prank' incident, he and Remus talked and have kinda sorta made amends, but there is still a wall (and rightfully so)

He loves science fiction, dark romance, romance, adventure, tragedy, poetry, fiction, horror, Gothic literature, action, and mystery, both films and books (mostly books)

Secretly loves the story of Hades and Persephone.

Will make Blancmange every Christmas at Hogwarts (hphm made this canon)

He has tried to deny rumors about him being in love with Lily and him being a vampire or a bat, but it came to a point where he was done and didn't care

His scent would be herbs, flowers, old books, and rain

[yokohamapound]

BSD Characters Catch You Reading Smut

No one asked for this, but I just had the idea floating around in my head and it was too good to pass up. <3

Characters: Edogawa Ranpo, Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, Dazai Osamu, Kunikida Doppo, Yosano Akiko, Nakahara Chuuya, Fyodor Dostoevsky

Contents: smut references

Edogawa Ranpo

It doesn't matter how good you think your poker face is. Ranpo knows. You've spent years training yourself by reading fanfiction in public and using an e-reader to mask what you're doing, but there will always be a tell.

He pops his lollipop out of his mouth and smirks over at you from his desk while you're trying to read a few pages on your lunch break. 

"Whatcha readin'?" he asks, coy.

You take a moment to compose yourself, pulling your gaze away from the scintillating, graphic descriptions written in the text, and glance across at him. There’s something about his smile that makes you unaccountably nervous. Ranpo might act like a kid most of the time, but there’s a hint of knowing in his eyes that forcibly reminds you this man is a full grown adult, and far too perceptive for his—and your—own good.

“A…uh…romance novel.”

Perhaps if you confess to something mild like reading romance novels at work, then he won’t go after the big fish. But you know as soon as the words leave your mouth that it’s a mistake. Ranpo always goes after the big fish, not the small fry.

“Uh-huuuh.” He draws out the word, grinning at you, one green eye opens a sliver. “Good sex scene?”

Across the office, Kunikida spits out his coffee over his paperwork.

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke

As much as Akutagawa talks like a Victorian orphan and likes to collect antiques, we don’t know much about his reading tastes, if he has any at all. Don’t forget he grew up in the slums, so he’s had little education, if any, before coming to the Port Mafia. After which, it was probably left up to Dazai, god forbid.

Suffice it to say that if he does enjoy reading anything, it’s probably morbid Gothic horror, riddled with existential dread and people dying young, haunted by the ghosts of their misdeeds. So, Poe’s stuff, basically. 

All this is to preface the fact that I don’t think Akutagawa even realises there is such a thing as smut novels. He’s probably aware of porn, but dirty writing? Not something he’s ever bothered to consider in his relatively narrow purview. 

He doesn’t really think twice when he sees you reading, since it’s a familiar-enough sight. It might be a book in your hands or just some text you’re scrolling through on your phone. It’s only when he notices your rapt attention to the text that he starts to get curious.

You’re so engrossed you don’t notice him loom over your shoulder until you hear his breath catch, a cough spluttering in his throat.

“What…what are you reading!?” he demands to know, rearing back from the book like it’s going to bite him. 

Dazai Osamu

Oh god.

It’s very hard to hide anything from Dazai, but you’ve been trying to keep your spicy book collection a secret because once he finds out about something he becomes an incorrigible tease about it, and this would be no different. 

You’ve almost mastered the art of hiding your fanfiction tab when he walks past by using the old (ALT + TAB) manoeuvre, Or by flipping to an innocuous part of your book when he walks into the room, but this strategy has backfired. Because Dazai sees all and knows all, and the sneaky little bastard has noticed your shifty behaviour. He’s been watching for a while, waiting for his moment to pounce. 

So there you are, innocently reading your not-so-innocent novel on the couch, perhaps even on a break at the office, and suddenly there’s a presence behind you, warm breath against your ear.

“‘Her legs quivered like a newborn foal’s,’” Dazai narrates, his voice breathy. “‘Lord Fondezglimmer’s hands brushed up the insides of her thighs, her skin as soft as flower petals, reaching for—’”

You snap the book shut. “Shut up, shut up!”

Dazai is unrepentant. Even as you get up, he follows you around the room, hand over his heart, eyes glittering, repeating the scene word for word. 

“‘Primrose’s secret flower was his to taste! As he lay her down upon the bed of handwoven silk, her kirtle rose to her hips to reveal—!’” 

“Shut up, Dazai!”

Kunikida Doppo

The main book Kunikida is interested in is his notebook. He does, however, have a list of well-lauded self-help books, memoirs, and other edifying literary works that he intends to check out just as soon as he has the time. He admires you, actually, and how much time you devote to improving your mind through reading. He occasionally goes so far as to ask you for recommendations, and you have to scramble to recommend something that won’t make his glasses shatter in shock.

Little does he know what you’re really up to.

It’s only when he finds himself at a rare loose end that he finally makes his way over to your bookcase and leafs through some of the volumes. He goes for the last one he saw you reading. It seems innocuous. The cover is a pastel purple with swirly writing. A romantic saga of some sort? Well, he can indulge a chapter or two, just to see what you’re interested in. 

Ten minutes later, Kunikida is sitting on the edge of his seat, gripping the book so hard it looks like he’s about to tear it in half. His face is scarlet behind his glasses, his eyes hidden by the glare on the lenses. His hair is practically standing on end. By the time you find him, he’s as wooden as a statue.

“Ah, got curious, did you?” you ask, amused.

“...this is…” Kunikida starts. “It’s…”

“Erotica,” you inform him, tugging the book from his nerveless hands. “Poor thing. If you were curious I could have given you something a little softer to ease yourself in.”

“No! I’m good. Thank you very much. I’ve seen…quite enough.”

He’s lying. 

Yosano Akiko

Fairly sure that most of Yosano’s books are either medical textbooks or lurid true crime memoirs, complete with grisly photos of murder scenes and autopsies. She reads and rereads those until the covers are falling apart. She probably also reads thrillers and a little bit of horror. Like the Dexter novels, though she scoffs at the implausibility of some of the murders and gore.

Naturally, when she sees you curled up on the couch, your nose buried in a book, she wants to know what it’s about. It doesn’t matter how discreet the cover is, or if you’re reading on your phone/tablet, because she’ll just plop down and start asking you questions, or pause to read over your shoulder.

“What are you reading, you little pervert?” she asks, leaning on your shoulder. 

Her commentary is lowkey hilarious.

“Oh, my~” she teases, before leaning and reading further. “...that’s not biologically possible, but still the concept is kinda hot.”

“Anything more than like eight inches isn’t going to fit inside, you know that right?”

“Ooh, he’s choking her? Turn to the next page. What? No, I won’t go find my own filth to read.”

She does borrow a few of your titles, though her tastes always trend towards darker romance.

Nakahara Chuuya

As much as I love Chuuya, he doesn’t strike me as the type to spend all his time sitting around reading lofty tomes of high-brow literature. He’s a live-in-the-moment kind of guy. While he might pick up the odd book on the recommendation of people whose taste he likes, he enjoys poetry more, or short, punchy novels. If a book you enjoyed gets turned into a movie, he’ll go see it with ya.

Thus, he’s never been introduced to the secret world of spicy novels, from the softcore porn of the 1980s to the roaring trade of indie authors putting out entire sagas of smut today. Totally clueless. Didn’t even realise it was a thing, honestly. His idea of a romance novel is one with a woman in a fancy dress and a shirtless man on the cover, where the scene fades to black before they do it.

Poor, innocent Chuuya.

He just thinks you look cute and cosy when you’re all snuggled up with your books. It doesn’t cross his mind to wonder what you’re reading unless you laugh aloud or gasp or something. Imagine his surprise when he glances your way one day and words jump out at him from the page. Dirty words. And when they’re strung together, the context is even smuttier. He grabs the book from your unsuspecting hands and holds it over your head (or floats it if you’re taller than him, lmao.)

“Whatcha readin’, you little pervert?” he asks, a grin growing on his face. 

“Give it back!”

“Nah, don’t think I will. Is this what you’re readin’ all the time?” He flips through the book, whistling. “Damn, you’re a dirty little thing, aren’t ya?”

Fyodor Dostoevsky

If you think Fyodor somehow doesn’t already know everything you purchase and everything you browse online, then you are a sweet, innocent creature and should be protected from all that is evil and unjust in the world.

But let’s say you’re a little sneak and somehow manage to get your hands on some spicy books without your dearest darling Fedya knowing. You can certainly read them in the long hours that he is away working and perhaps even find a way to store them discreetly on the bookshelf. 

(I doubt you’d be forbidden to read those kinds of books, but it’s still a little embarrassing for you and you might prefer your smirking husband didn’t know about it.)

Ah, but you can only keep secrets from him for so long. One day he abruptly appears behind you. You didn’t expect him home so early, didn’t even know he was coming in, but then there’s just a pale hand reaching over your shoulder to stop you turning the page, and a low, accented voice in your ear.

“Not yet, my darling. I’m not done with this page.”

You yelp, flinging the book across the room, and Fyodor stands up, smiling down at you. He tuts at your treatment of the book, picking it up and dusting it off before he turns it over to look at the cover. His smirk is practically feline, satisfied and amused in equal measure.

“My, my, myshka~ I had no idea that this is what excites you so much.”

[starrysharks]

what kind of movies/series would the reassassination characters be into?

aa i think someone asked this but i wasn't able to reply then Σ(￣□￣;) hopefully they see this!!

i think that onion and octavia would both be shameless cartoon fans, specifically stuff like invader zim, ren and stimpy, growing up creepie, ruby gloom, and basically anything that's slightly darker, edgier or horror oriented... onion in a typical "nerd who's a little 'too old' for it" way, as in they're a legit fan who writes fanfic and goes to cons and such, while octavia just likes morbid slapstick. i also think that octavia would like beavis and butthead and daria too!

as for others, jaundice would definitely be annoying about the crow and other 80s/90s gothic or horror movies, and have extensive information about the entire production and probably knows someone who had a minor hand in one of her fav movies personally. i've already established vivica as a closet anime fan - she'd watch any tapes she can get her hands on, but of course romance fantasies and slice of life would be her favourite. i think it'd be interesting for her to see a potential daily life that isn't one within the CCO.

but enough about the kids, let's talk the adults! novocaine is probably an adult swim and comedy central fanatic - a true lover of dumb humor. and as a former cartoonist, she probably has a soft spot for cartoons. it's juuust a little out of reassassination's intended time frame, but i like to think she'd be a metalocalypse fan. definitely a bit of a crazed shipper too lol. lunette definitely has an obsession with criminal justice / law documentaries, and angel/valentine/whatever we're calling him is a "real housewives" fan for sure. unfortunately, krankenstein hates TV, but i think he'd like old silent movies.

[gremlinmodetweeker]

Hiii!

I love love loooovvee your eldritch könig series! Even when the idea has been repeated elsewhere (summoner & summoned), its still so fresh and lovely to read. I especially enjoy when bugs and such are used in bodyhorror and elsewhere, so i liked how it was used in your writing!

Love your work, keep going!

Thank you so, so much! I genuinely appreciate it more than anything. I admit, lately things have been rough. I tried moving to a new place, then learned it was a scam, and I've been couch-surfing at a friend's place. I am kinda scared, seeing as I have no home currently, but I am trying my best.

Now, instead of venting, let me tell you how glad I am you picked up on the bugs. I have a love-hate relationship with bugs. On one hand, they are SO COOL. On the other, oh no bugs please no get them away from me. The place I was moving out of had a cockroach infestation, and that was awful. I like bugs, just when they're not on me or my food. Which yeah, they would go over my pots and pans and my cans and it was awful. However, I also have an isopod bin and some tubs of springtails that I'm selling. So, it goes two ways, I guess?

I have further ideas, but if you have any suggestions, please tell me! I love eldritch/cosmic horror, and though my summoned König is very much inspired by old Lovecraft and gothic horror, I also like how this is very much a romance. It's a fun pairing (and I get to be a monster fucker).

My next idea is for König to be watching over his summoner as they interact with other summoners, and he's not pleased by how they treat his mate...

[rewatching-sam-and-dean]

even as someone who does not ship the brothers (or deancas), i feel that there is no denying the heavy handed undertones of romance between them, and the writers' very intentional and frequent exploration into incestual themes, if one is truly understanding the show. however, it's also my understanding that a lot of hellers/deancas people/whomever use a frustrating argument that "sam doesn't really know dean" when in reality, he will always know dean better than cas. thats the whole point of the show. when dean and sam 'betray' each other from the other's persepctive, the person doing the betraying genuinely believes they are acting in the other's best interest, whereas with dean and cas it's always for personal benefit.

to stop the rambling, i wanted to ask, purely in interest of seeing multiple sides: if so many hellers were not so anti-sam and did not project so much onto castiel, do you think the fandom at large (outside of that group) would have less of an issue with the ship? again, i am genuinely curious and you seem both well established in the fandom and well versed in the show itself. i feel as though where other shows do have beef between shippers and such, the supernatural fandom is watching two completely different shows and so many of them are bypassing crucial parts.

Hey Anon!

I don’t ship Wincest either (though most Wincesties I know are cool), and I REALLY don’t ship Destiel. But, I do joke about brother husbands a lot and love the brothers’ codependency. Still, I don’t think the writers are actually ever suggesting there are true romantic feelings to Sam and Dean’s relationship. Or maybe I should say, I don’t think canon (or subtext) Sam and Dean are actually (even secretly) hot for their brother. However, I think the romantic parallels and even outright nods to incest are very deliberate (and obvious). Partly, it’s on brand for the horror/gothic genre of the early seasons, but it also serves the purpose of highlighting how important Sam and Dean are to each other. They are each other’s soulmate, life-partner, and number one, which are usually roles reserved for couples. Also, I think the show just likes to make jokes as well. It’s clearly deliberate when the show goes from having characters assume they are couples, to villains making incesty remarks about them, to Dean asking if Sam wants a divorce.

I agree that Sam knows Dean better than Castiel, or anyone else. And Dean knows Sam best. That being said, they don’t understand each other perfectly, and they speak “different languages” in terms of showing care a lot of the time. Sometimes this is works in a complimentary way that has them in sync (Dean loves his family, especially Sam most, and Sam needs to be Dean’s number one), and sometimes it causes friction between the brothers (Dean letting Gadreel inside Sam or Sam trying to cure MOC). But, I agree that MOST of the time when they “betray” each other it’s when they are trying to help each other, or at least it’s a byproduct of something they feel they need to do. They never treat each other as expendable. And I also agree that betrayals between Dean and Castiel just hit different. I think this is because 1) they don’t have the same obsessive love underlying everything they do to/for each other (despite what hellers think), 2) they are more brothers-in-arms than true adopted famoly until later seasons 3) Castiel is not human, and I believe that Dean (however subconsciously) treats him differently because of that, and Cass not being human also changes his view of the fallout his actions will have with the people he cares about, and 4) I agree that they both betray each other out of personal interest in thst they value other things/people more highly than each other quite often (Dean will always value Sam above all, and Castiel often values whatever mission he is on above the brothers or is at least willing to risk them for it to an extent).

Feel free to ramble in my asks whenever you like. Clearly, I do it too, so no judgement here.

My short answer to your question is … yes. If hellers didn’t hate on Sam in a transparent attempt to make him seem less important both to Dean and to the show in general, I doubt Sam girls would care that people shipped Castiel and Dean. It’s the attempt at twisting canon and down-playing Sam that is frustrating. And yes, the projecting added significance onto Castiel is massively annoying because it shows a lack of understanding of the show, whether purposeful or due to ignorance. And that annoys everyone who cares about the “fscts” of the show. It’s also their insistence that Dean is bi … because reasons (often offensive, stupid and/or steryotical) that annoys the people who actually enjoy Dean’s true chracter, not the fan-fic woobifued version of him that hellers (and some AAs) fawn over. But, I think what pisses the fandom at large off the most about hellers is their insistence that they get their way and the tantrums they throw about being “robbed” when a ship that was clearly never going to sail in the show continued not to happen. More specifically, their need to hate on actual actors, writers, producers, networks and other so called “homophobic” fans who don’t agree with them is abhorrent to many.

I agree with your final sentiment completely. It is like Supernatural is at least two totally different shows, depending on which type of fan you are talking to. I mean, there are arguably more than two versions of the show in collective fans’ minds, if we consider which of the brothers a group sympathizes with most and how they interpret the chracters’ actions (Sam is a whiny brat … Dean is an abusive monster 🙄). But, out of all the fan groups, there is only one who seems to be "watching" a piece of media that does not even resemble the actual show … and it’s hellers.

And to be clear, I’m not talking about Destiel shippers in general here, but hellers in particular. No one I know, including me, cares if people ship Dean and Castiel for their own enjoyment, but it’s the insistence they are right and attempted rewriting of canon (and threatening real people) that makes people ragey.

Anyway, thank you for your ask. I’m sorry my reply was so long. (This is likely one of the reasons I don’t get a ton of asks, lol).

[talesfromthecrypts]

Tbh I think you nailed it #also i do believe a huge percentage of people's brains shut off when women find something hot#. That’s what it’s all about in the end - a lot of people simply can’t stand that vampires/gothic romances involving vampires are enjoyed by women at large and they want to bro-keep it. And by bro-keeping it they want to impose the single way vampires must be presented-as simply ugly monsters who only suck blood and nothing else-and insist that it’s the right, best and only way to portray vampires. Otherwise it’s for girls (for them it’s derogatory).

Goes hand in hand with "those silly dumb girls don't know that fucked up thing is wrong and fucked up". We do that's why we like it! It happens in all spaces, many women join in! Its a huge problem when talking about pretty much any media at this point. Which is crazy in horror spaces because women love horror! And I don't like to gender "interests" too much being a video game player of 25 years but like... maybe all horror isn't for you anyway and that's ok.

[carriagelamp]

I think I accidentally hit my reading quota in July because in August I ended up doing every else except reading! And then September just got too busy. But I managed to scrape up a handful of books for the pat few months a few quite good and some rather overwhelmingly lacklustre...

The Alchemy of Moonlight

Well, we’re off to an auspicious start because this book was genuinely awful. It was a complete impulse purchase and gave me a very sharp reminder about judging books by their covers. After reading A Marvellous Light last month I was in the mood for more queer period romance and this one had ALL that plus a werewolf to boot! Sounds fun! I could use a fun summer impulse read! But sadly it committed what is, in my opinion, the single greatest sin a historical fiction novel can do, which is that it read completely and entirely like a modern novel. 

There was almost zero effort to make the vocabulary or cadence fit that of novels from that time period (and like, I’m not expecting perfect, I'm hardly an expert, but I regularly read fanfiction written in better pastiche than this. Les Mis and Sherlock Holmes fandoms, you guys have spoiled me). The characters also don’t act in historically appropriate ways, they were allowed to get way too familiar with each other way too quickly with zero regard to social class. And I can’t believe I’m saying this but I could have actually used a touch more homophobia -- guys, just a bit of internalised homophobia, even just the acknowledgement that societal pressures affect people. 

(also this getting described as a gothic horror? fuck off gothic horror is more than a spoopy house, where is the absolute overwhelming terror of the vast Sublime?? i was not forced to read frankenstein three fucking times for school to accept something this lame trying to describe itself as "gothic".)

I tossed this one in my local little free library and I hope it goes to someone who is less of a picky bastard when it comes to historical narration.

American Girl: Kaya and Lone Dog // A Spy on the Homefront: A Molly Mystery

Two more American Girl novels that I’ve read, one about Kaya, an indigenous girl form the Nimíipuu tribe in 1764 and the story about her missing her sister and befriending a lone dog who gives birth to puppies. Like the other books I’ve read from this series, I thought it was quite well done. It didn’t shy away from challenging topics (her sister being enslaved and how that loss has affected Kaya) and drew me along for the entire plot of the book. It was charming.

The other one I read was another from the Mystery series of books. Sadly I’m thinking that the entire Mystery series of American Girl books may just be lacklustre. Like the Kit Mystery I read a while back, this one had a decent concept, explored the time period (WWII) in an interesting way, but had abysmal pacing for a mystery novel. It was not very good at creating or maintaining tension, and minimal effort to actually give a reader any clues to track. It wasn’t a bad story, especially for a kid, but it was nothing special.

Annie: An Old-Fashioned Story

After rewatching the musical Annie I decided I needed to read the novel, because I love a novelization! Me and my girlfriend have been slowly reading this together over the past few months and it’s been really enjoyable. Annie is a spunky orphan girl during the Depression is eventually taken in by billionaire industrialist Oliver Warbucks. This book gives a lot more backstory to Annie, and really stretches out the time between her running away from the orphanage and her meeting Warbucks. It was a pretty interesting and unflinching look at the hardships suffered by a parentless child like Annie during the Depression. It added a lot that the film didn’t have, and was well worth the read.

Camp Damascus

Possibly my favourite book from this review. I’d never read a Chuck Tingle book before, since I don’t tend to veer overmuch into erotica, but since this was his first “traditionally published” novel I thought now was the time to give it a go. And I have to say, I was genuinely amazed! Chuck Tingle is an incredibly compelling writer, his narration is just beautiful, I wanted to sink into it and get lost. I’m going to have to read more of his books now.

For those who haven’t heard of Camp Damascus, it’s a queer horror novel that’s based around religious horror. Normally religious horror doesn’t do it for me (I have zero interest in or fear of possession) but this one had a very different twist on that narrative. Though demons still featured in the story, the entire premise was built around the concept of religious trauma as horror, and the metaphors created by the demons as it explored themes of leaving religion, self-identity, indoctrination, queer identity and conversion therapy was honestly just breath-taking. My biggest recommendation this time around, I could hardly put it down.

Doctor Who: The Clockwise Man

Another fun Doctor Who novel with an enjoyable mystery about a mysterious political prisoner from space. It wasn’t a world changing novel, but it was a very solidly written 9 and Rose adventure, I enjoyed having the audiobook on while I drove.

Delicious Monsters

Another severe disappointment, unfortunately. I went in really wanting to like this book! I was in the mood for another horror novel after Camp Damascus, it was touted as being like The Haunting of Hill House (superb novel) with a House As Metaphor For Our Trauma And Horror which is a bend to horror I really enjoy. Sadly, despite a fairly interesting premise, the pacing and narrative voice was… rough. It was told from two different points of view, one in the future and one in the past that was slowly piecing together the mystery of what happened at this house, but the narrative voices were so similar it didn’t feel like two distinct entities. Neither made me excited for POV changes. The narration was also very heavy handed in the messages it was trying to send — all good messages, but with no faith that the reader would be able to interpret them on their own without it being repeated explicitly over and over. It all felt very bogged down and repetitive and frankly a little insulting to the reader's intelligence. I gave up on it about halfway through despite really liking the first quarter of the book.

Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation comic v2

More Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation! Because I’m hooked! Very much enjoying the comic version that’s been coming out, the art is very nice and it's fun to re-experience the beginning of the novel now that I know the characters and all the background information that was so mysterious the first time around.

Heaven Official’s Blessing v1

I have finished the main series of Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation so I’ve decided to move on to another series by the same author since I’ve been enjoying the style. This series starts off with a “Laughingstock” of the gods, someone who has ascended to godhood twice already and been cast out of Heaven twice as well. The story starts with his third ascension and everyone in Heaven is pretty over it, especially when his third ascension ends up causing chaos in Heaven. He’s chronically unlucky but has an attitude that’s largely willing to go with the flow so when he's given a job to help repay the debt his ascension acrued him he agrees to descend to the Mortal Realm and investigate the disappearance of brides.

Along the way he picks up a couple junior officials who are reluctantly sent along to help and lend him spiritual power, since his own is sealed, as well as a strange youth in red who seems to know more than he should and is perhaps the only person who doesn't treat him scornfully.

The pacing of book one was interesting… it drew me along and had me chuckling frequently, especially with some of the interesting characters that are introduced, but I definitely didn’t feel fully “connected” with the characters or plot just yet. Still, I’m intrigued for book two and trust the author enough to go along for the ride until things start clicking!

James and the Giant Peach

Roald Dahl’s classic story about James Henry Trotter who, after the death of his parents, is forced to live with his two horrid aunts. Isolated from any potential friends, all alone at the top of the hill with his aunts and forced to slave away for them, James eventually meets a mysterious old man who offers him a glowing bag of crocodile tongues… something he claims has the power to grant happiness to whoever possesses them. Unfortunately before James can use them he trips and spills them at the roots of the old, dead peach tree… and awakens the magic regardless.

Just a fun September reread, I haven’t read James and the Giant Peach in years. It's definitely one of my favourite Dahl stories. I’m going to have to rewatch the movie now…

Monster and the Beast v4

The last volume of a yaoi series I’ve been reading for a while. This is a story that follows a rather callous, mysterious man known as Liam and the soft-hearted monster, Cavo, who he meets and befriends. This final volume wraps up Liam’s strange and somewhat sinister origin story and reveals what exactly the powers he wields are, and it lets Cavo come into his own. Honestly an excellent book for all the monsterfuckers out there. Overall it was a sweet ending and I enjoyed the series — honestly I wouldn’t mind one more volume of short stories that just explore the relationship dynamic they achieved by the end of this volume.

The Princess and the Grilled Cheese Sandwich

The Princess and the Grilled Cheese Sandwich is a graphic novel about a young noblewoman who has to disguise herself as a man if she is to inherit her late father’s estate. So she dismisses the old servants save for a single trusted one, changes her appearance, and moves to a city far away from where she grew up. From there, “he” begins making waves in a way that draws the attention of the princess… 

It was a… fine graphic novel. I’m not sure I have a lot to say besides that. It was a comedy, but it’s not the sort of comedy that I find particularly interesting… it definitely felt like a youth graphic novel. It was also very anachronistic (part of the humour) which I’m not always in the mood for and didn’t really land for me. Over all I don’t regret reading it, and the art was enjoyable enough, but I’m glad I got it from the library. When I had first heard of it I had been expecting something a bit… more.

Red, White, and Royal Blue

I was very skeptical about Red, White, and Royal Blue. I thought it looked tacky when it first came out and I resolutely ignored it. However as the Netflix film was due to come out I decided I had better bite the bullet and figure out what the hype was about. And I can admit, I was wrong! It was honestly a delightful read!

The politics are a bit Rough, as I expected, but the relationship was genuinely delightful and I really liked all the side characters they introduced. You really have to go into it like you would a Hallmark romcom because that’s exactly what it is — and you know what, the queers really do deserve some simple, cheesy (and occasionally surprisingly touching) romantic comedies. Contemporary romcom is normally REALLY not my genre but I highly enjoyed this book and am willing to eat my words.

[not-available-for-comment]

Sleep deprived and rambling about yuri today apparently

Keepers:

The Two of Them Are Pretty Much Like This by Takashi Ikeda - Gentle slice of life about two semi-closeted women in the anime industry: a young up-and-coming voice actor and a slightly older writer. (Early 20s and right around 30, respectively.) Established relationship, any conflict is minor and of the typical "learning to live together" sort. Occasional, usually post-coital, nudity.

A White Rose in Bloom by Asumiko Nakamura - Vaguely gothic English boarding school romantic entanglement between a pretty and emotionally frank underclassman (underclasswoman?) and the icily reserved but secretly kind Balkan refugee upperclass…woman. Nothing racier than kissing so far, fucking gorgeous art, seems to be improving as it goes on.

SHWD by sono.N - Absolutely bonkers horror/yuri crossover in which a trio of women built like bodybuilders fight big gloopy psyche-destroying monsters, lounge around naked in the baths after, and occasionally engage in homoerotically charged sparring matches. Plenty of nudity, no sex yet (have only read volume 1, which is the only one released in hardcopy).

Doughnuts Under A Crescent Moon by Shio Usui - I avoided this one for a while because it *does* have a treacly name, and it's turned out to have a very lesbi-ace approach, which I can't imagine will help its reputation much (yes I've seen the tumblr post). But it's also a really beautifully written examination of the process of coming out to yourself as an adult (albeit a young one), and both the core relationship and the secondary characters are very well-written. I think I'm only missing the last volume, and I'm looking forward to completing the story.

To Try:

Asumi-chan is Interested in Lesbian Brothels! by Kuro Itsuki - A girl hears her first crush is working at a local brothel and resolves to visit them all until she finds her. Sounds like sudsy fun and I’m interested to see what the erotic sensibility will be since my other encounter with lesbian sex workers in Japan is in My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness. Which on the one hand has one of the most profound meditations on sex I’ve read and on the other hand has a ~very different sensibility~.

Our Teachers Are Dating! by Pikachi Ohi - I mean, to be honest I'm always going to at least consider a series that's about adults. But this one has good reviews for the main couple's chemistry, and apparently they are loved and supported by their community, which I enjoy in any romance but especially in a queer one. Plus apparently it gets spicy! 👀

My Androgynous Boyfriend by Tamekou - A beautiful kept boyfriend and his hardworking girlfriend. I like my men pretty and my het/het-passing relationships nontraditional. Will definitely at least try the first volume.

On The Fence:

Love Me For Who I Am by Kata Konayama - Lonely nonbinary teen finds community and maybe love at a nontraditional maid cafe. Honestly the blurb sounds like something I'd adore, but considering the main character is in tears on the cover of volume 2 I'm afraid of it turning out to be melodrama farming rather than a good story.

Goodbye, My Rose Garden by Pepperco - Reading between the lines of the blurb, a Japanese novelist ends up broke in Victorian England and takes a job as a maid, only for her new [probably lesbian] mistress to ask her to kill her. Instead, they kindle a relationship. I mean... sounds lugubrious. But reviews are actually good. I'll think about it.

Ditch:

Days of Love At Seagull Villa by Kodama Naoko - I want to like Kodama's writing (I've also read her one-shot, I Married My Best Friend To Shut My Parents Up!) because her premises are often engaging. But her pacing is usually incoherent and she tends to over-rely on boob jokes and under-develop her emotional arcs. It's probably unfair to tap out of a series for being under-developed at Volume 1, but I just don't see improvement from the one-shot and there are better ways to spend my money.

[sweethoneyrose83]

Vintage dialogue prompts

1940s Noir Detective:

Detective: "Listen, sweetheart, the city’s got a thousand stories, but yours? It don’t sit right. Start from the beginning, and this time, leave out the fairy tales."

Mysterious Woman: "You think you can handle the truth, detective? Most men crumble just from the weight of it."

Victorian Gothic Romance:

Lady Victoria: "Do you not feel it, Alexander? The air is thick with secrets, and this house… it whispers at night."

Lord Alexander: "I hear no whispers, only the ticking of the clock and your endless doubts, Victoria."

1920s Prohibition Era:

Flapper Girl: "Honey, the only thing flowing faster than the gin around here is trouble. You best keep your wits if you’re planning to stick around."

Bootlegger: "I’m not here for the gin, darling. I’m here to see how deep the rabbit hole goes."

1950s Small Town Mystery:

Local Sheriff: "Folks say it was the wind that knocked down the barn. But I’ve lived here too long to believe in coincidences."

Outsider: "Maybe it's not the wind you should be worried about, sheriff."

1930s Great Depression:

Drifter: "I don’t stay long anywhere, but this town… it feels like it's holding its breath, waiting for something to happen."

Local Shopkeeper: "A lot has happened already, stranger. We’re just hoping it don’t happen again."

Edwardian High Society:

Countess: "Scandal is merely gossip's older, uglier sister. And I daresay, the two are waltzing through our parlor as we speak."

Lord Henry: "I suppose you’d be the belle of that particular ball, wouldn't you?"

1960s Mod London:

Photographer: "You're a vision, love, a walking dream. Let me capture this moment—it's a revolution, and you're right in the middle of it."

Model: "A moment is all it is. Tomorrow, someone else will be the face of the revolution."

1930s Silent Film Star:

Silent Starlet: "They loved me once, when I was the face on every screen. Now? I'm just a flicker in their memories."

Cynical Producer: "Fame’s a funny thing. One day you’re a star, the next, you’re just another name on a marquee."

1920s Speakeasy Drama "Sweetheart, in this town, your name is either on the guest list or the hit list. You better hope you're on the right one tonight."

Victorian Era Mystery "It's no coincidence the fog rolled in just as Lady Pembroke vanished. I dare say there's something far darker at play here."

1940s Noir Detective "She walked in like trouble wearing heels too high for an honest woman. I knew right then the case was going to get dirty."

Edwardian Romance "You must understand, my dear. A single misstep in this dance, and our entire reputation crumbles. We simply cannot afford scandal."

1950s Americana "You know, doll, when a guy hands you the keys to a Cadillac, he's either in love with you or running from something. In my case, it's both."

Wild West Showdown "The sun ain't even set yet, and already you got your hand on your gun. You sure you want this dance, partner?"

Gothic Horror Mansion "I’ve seen ghosts in this house before, but none so cold as the spirit that haunts your eyes."

Prohibition Era Crime Boss "Kid, in this game, you either keep your mouth shut or you learn how to talk your way out of cement shoes. There ain't no in-between."

World War II Spy Thriller "One more whisper of your name on the wrong side of this war, and they won't need a bullet to silence you. The shadows will do the job."

1920s Flapper Rebellion "The only rule around here is that there are no rules, darling. Except, maybe, don't get caught."

[thatswhatsushesaid]

Sangyao for the ship game?

WOW I forgot I decided to do this meme, I am so sorry for leaving you hanging, anon!! (and also to the other people who sent me asks, I will get on those now) so:

ship it 👍

but as with most of my non-xiyao ships, I don't think I sail this particular one the way lots of other sangyao shippers do, since 1) I think there is very little canon support for it, and 2) in all of my non-jgy ships, I can never divorce jgy from his feelings for lxc. so even when I ship jgy with anyone else, he still loves er-ge best, and that is bound to be something that not everyone is here for.

that said, here are my answers to the other questions:

1. what made me ship it?

it was their vibes in cql, I think! I loved how quick meng yao was to throw himself between wen chao et al. and nie huaisang during the cloud recesses reception in episode 4, and how nie huaisang immediately shrank back behind him. because he trusted meng yao to take care of him--meng yao, who may or may not even have a golden core at this point, has not been raised among cultivators, but who nevertheless on pure instinct places himself in harm's way to protect chifeng-zun's easily flustered didi. in the novel, it was all of the gifts that jgy showered on nhs after he becomes jin guangyao, and how much joy and delight nhs seems to derive from his visits, as well as receiving such thoughtful gifts from someone who seems to actually understand his interests. I'd also be lying if I said I wasn't a little 👀 over the possibilities of what these two often underestimated men could accomplish if they were given the opportunities to do what they do best and support each other while doing it. (well. jgy would probably do most of the supporting, but I won't throw nhs totally under the bus in that department).

2. what are my favourite things about this ship?

this is another area where I expect my answer is not going to be super popular among some other sangyao shippers, but whatever, here goes. probably what I find most compelling about this ship is that, no matter how attentive and loving and devoted to meeting nhs's needs as jgy is, nhs will always know on some level that in jgy's heart, there can only be lan xichen. and given the darkness I think is absolutely present in nhs's heart even before nmj dies, I think there is a lot of potential for gothic horror-romance there. tl;dr this is not the ship I reach for when I want to indulge in some happily-ever-after vibes, even when I am hoping to use a romance between the two as part of a canon-divergent fix-it.

aside from that downer, I do like that nhs as a person is just extremely hands-on and tactile with how he interacts with others. in a sangyao ship, I imagine this was something that shocked jgy to start with, but I can also see it being one of the things that he comes to cherish most about their relationship. because nhs just doesn't care about the world's perception of him, and it does not occur to him to be too concerned with the world's perception of jgy either. he wants to drape himself dramatically across his san-ge and beg for help with these wretched grain tariffs, and no one is going to stop him, and as much as this probably exasperates (and frightens, on some level) jgy, I don't think he would give that up easily.

3. is there an unpopular opinion I have about this ship?

y... yeah. lol. a lot of them to be honest. I do not vibe with the idea that jgy would ever have chosen to do nhs harm prior to figuring out that nhs is behind the complete destruction of his whole life, and so when I see jgy being cruel to nhs physically or emotionally in fic, I smash that back button. I also don't think that a happy ending for jgy involves becoming nie-furen (or nie-er-furen, if nmj is still alive) anymore than I think he would be happy as lan-furen, and while there's far less fic for this than there is lan-furen, I still just sigh when I encounter even fanon speculation about it. jgy isn't a lan, and he isn't a nie--he's a jin, and I think while nhs is blind to a lot of things, he would not be blind to something like that.

wahoo, better late than never!!

[aviculor]

Oh. Umm. As far as the actual film goes, Lisa Frankenstein was a "coming of age for a fucked up girl" horror comedy in the same vein as Jennifer's Body and Excision and May and Royal Jelly. Which is not typically my favorite subgenre. It was written by Diablo Cody who also wrote Jennifer's Body, and according to her it takes place in the same universe.

Lisa's lab partner starting to sexually assault her while she was drugged at a party was definitely not a scene I enjoyed, but I get that it was included so we wouldn't feel bad when he was killed. The final act wouldn't have played out the way it did without the domino effect it created. It still killed the vibe for me though.

It seems like a lot of people expected it to be more of a gothic romance, and I definitely assumed it would be too. But then again, I didn't even know Cole Sprouse was one of the lead actors until the opening credits. I think the aforementioned SA scene defined the trajectory for the rest of the film's tone. Instead of being a story about an awkward girl who falls in love with a reanimated corpse and kills people to repair his body, it was a story about a traumatized girl who got drugged and molested, got abused by her stepmom, had unwanted romantic advances from said corpse, caught her crush in bed with her stepsister, and had her yassified girlboss glowup spoiled by a simple police investigation.

I had originally gotten the impression that The Creature was supposed to be trans, but now that I think about it he was probably just missing his genitals the way he was missing his hand and ear.

Zelda Williams did a fine job directing. I guess the movie was ok. It just wasn't my thing. The way it was like "this girl loves the shadow of this man and the idea of him, but when he actually shows up and is interested in her, she's completely repulsed" was probably the final nail in the coffin for my date. As if I needed any more help crashing and burning.

[indigoipsum]

Any Alois headcanons?

Hehe yes 😼

TW: Light ED discussion

A lot of people have brought this up, but I really do think he’d have a very poor body image/issues with eating. It’s extra complicated because of how food insecure he was when he was younger, and while he wants to indulge in sweets and rich things, he still sees himself as something that exists solely for attractiveness and fears weight gain. I think he also has trouble accepting getting older, as he starts to get taller and broader, because men have consistently been the ones to hurt him and yet he has to accept that he’s becoming one. The whole ordeal is just weird for him.

I think Alois’ trauma complicates his relationship with sexuality and gender. He’s just a kid so like… I can’t say he’s 100% anything but it’s kinda widely accepted he’s mlm. In my modern AU rp I had eons ago I figured he’d probably use they/he pronouns and experiment with wearing dresses and skirts (which he should be able to regardless of gender! I just see him being able to embrace his femininity if he lived in a more accepting society)

He and Lizzie would 100% be friends. I think he’d flirt with her to annoy Ciel, but after a while the bit isn’t funny anymore and he just wants to spend time with her. She would help him mellow out a bit and he would encourage her to be more assertive. Lizzie would probably start swearing without realizing and Frances would be like ???!!! We know that he can wield a sword, so I think that he’d enjoy fencing with her (and she’d beat him every time).

He probably enjoys lovecore stuff, like pink and white teacups with delicate hearts around the rim and stationary with little Cupids decorating the margins.

His handwriting used to be very messy, partly because he learned to write later in life and partly because of his racing thoughts and short attention span. However, he got teased about it when he went to hand in letters and official documents so he works with Claude to perfect his penmanship.

He loves gothic horror stories, but also loves romance novels. He’s pretty unashamed of this, even when the covers are a little embarrassing.

He’s not really a cat or a dog person. He prefers birds and insects.

Though he doesn’t want to admit it, he cares about Hannah. He just knows that trying to lash out at Claude is more dangerous. Getting closer to Lizzie probably makes him reflect on his actions more, too.

He prefers strong black tea to other teas. He likes white wine and champagne, though.

He wishes he could have been an actor. Granted, he likes having wealth, but high society bores him and he’s seen time and time again that most nobles are awful people. He drags anyone in the house to go see operas and plays whenever he can. He brought the triplets to a play once and got mad that they kept whispering about it amongst themselves, when he’s the one who should be making comments!

He consistently damages former Earl Trancy’s headstone and waits to see how long the rest of his family takes to notice. Inevitably, his Uncle Arnold notices, calls him, tries to blame it on him, then Alois gives his whole crocodile tears routine and makes Arnold pay for a new one.

Alois doesn’t know his real birthday, but chose Guy Fawkes day as a double excuse to party and cause mischief.

The Trancy family has some German and French heritage, which everyone asks about given his very German sounding first name. He had no idea that it was a German name and just goes along with it. Sieglinde is teaching him German, but he really just wants to know all the curses and rude phrases.

[ashensgrotto]

Meet the Creator:

Ashensgrotto (aka Mari or Kiy-anna)

I wanted to do a little introduction piece for you guys so, here it goes:

I'm Ashensgrotto, but I go by a few different usernames (though I should keep them all the same to keep people from getting confused 😅). Most people call me Mari or Kiy-anna, both of which are absolutely perfect - otherwise, feel free to call me Ashen or Ash. I'm a twenty plus student of optometry and part-time author with a dash of randomness.

A few things I think you should know about me;

▫️I love researching random facts - most of it helps me with my writing and allows me to create a more realistic setting within my works

▫️I've been writing since about the 8th grade - my first fanfiction was a Phantom of the Opera piece and was originally posted on fanfiction.net during my last few months in the 8th grade and have been posting my stories ever since. I specialize in fairy tales and Gothic romance - although I'm trying my hand at thrillers and horror.

▫️I like music - specifically dark listening music, heavy rock, and the occasional soundtrack song. I used to play the piano and can belt out a good song or two when I want - singing in the car specifically 🤭

▫️I'm not much of a "people-person," even though it is required for my job and field. If I had the choice, I would prefer to hide under a rock and submit my works for people to see. Although it is something I'm working on, I have gotten better at talking to others, whether it is face to face or not.

I can usually be found here on Tumblr, my Ao3 account, or my Deviantart account

Thanks for taking the time to read my intro. My ask box is always open if you're curious about anything, so feel free to stop by!

[livefordrama]

Reviewing Drama’s I Have Watched Part 10

Finally made it to double digits! Once again, here is my rating system:  1- Did not like, 2- Enjoyed but probably wouldn’t watch again, 3- Enjoyed and would watch some episodes again/may watch again, 4- Enjoyed and would watch again, 5- Loved

Korean Drama

You Raise Me Up: 4

Trigger Warnings: Anxiety attacks, Suicide attempt, Blood, Gore, Talk of insecurities and hating self.

You raise me up is a romantic comedy about a man who is incredibly insecure due to his failing of the civil service exam many years in a row which causes him be unable to become aroused. He seeks out a urologist to aid in his issues, however to his horror, his urologist is his first love who just so happens to have been bragging about him to her ex. She becomes determined to return him to the man he once was in order to save her pride.

This show was actually pretty good despite it’s more awkward scenes that give you second-hand embarrassment. I had to pause and walk away a few times due it just being so painfully awkward but it was really funny and super cute. I think it’s a good comedy for those who enjoy some drama with lots of silly, inappropriate jokes, and some cute romance. 

Hotel Del Luna: 4

Trigger Warnings: Blood, Violence, Death, Suicide threats, Gore, Non-con themes, Jump scares, Murder. 

Hotel Del Luna is a dark retelling of Beauty and the Beast where the girl is the Beast. It follows a young woman who was cursed to run a hotel and help lost souls pass on to the afterlife to pay back for her sins while living. She has been unable to get over her grudge for thousands of years and thus cannot be reborn. One day, she finds a living man in her hotel for the dead stealing a flower from her tree. She goes to kill him but after he begs to be set free for his son, she instead makes a deal with him that when his son is of age, said son will come to the hotel to work with her. After he becomes of age, the son is indeed taken to work at the hotel but it’s she who begins to regret her own deal. The two may just be tied together in a way neither imagined.

I really enjoyed this movie, it was dark yet pretty, the soundtrack and overall aesthetic were perfect. The only reason I give it a four is because is started to drag and get kind of boring towards the end only to feel rushed in the last few episodes. I wish the pacing was a little better but other than that it was very good. I highly recommend to those who enjoy classic story retellings with a twist, as well as those who enjoy gothic romance vibes. 

The Sound of Magic: 5

Trigger Warnings: SA, Bullying, Death, Neglect, Assault, Suicide, Mental breakdowns, Murder, Panic attacks, Abuse. 

The Sound of Magic is a dark musical about a girl growing up in poverty having to raise her little sister after her parents both abandoned them, who lives her life only to make ends meet. She wanders into the nearby abandoned amusement park where rumors of a real magician are spreading. There she meets the magician who tries his best to convince her that magic is real and to not only believe but allow herself to have fun and not have to worry about anything even if it’s just for a moment. Her along with the top student at school, start to take lessons with the magician however not everything is as it seems when more rumors spread and more people start to go missing. 

I absolutely loved this musical, it’s my first Korean musical and it exceeded every expectation I had. It was delightfully dark and mysterious while also being enchanting and magical. The storyline, singing, acting, it was all perfect. I only wish it had a few more episodes to cover some questions I had but overall it was spectacular and I highly recommend. Make sure to stay for after the credits on the final episode though, trust me. 

Moonshine: 4

Trigger Warnings: Murder, Death, Violence, Drunkenness, Blood, PTSD, Anxiety Attack, Torture.

Moonshine is set during the alcohol prohibition in Joseon Era Korea. It follows low ranking noble who, after finding herself in debt, decides to secretly make and sell alcohol and an investigator who stubborn holds onto his beliefs. Due to circumstances the two end up living in the same home. They start off as enemies but as their paths begin to entangle, they find themselves working together, along with the mischievous prince and romantic daughter of the minister of war, to reveal the truth behind the prohibition and their pasts.

I really enjoyed this series, it has enemies to lovers, found family, mystery, tragedy, fun characterization, and great writing. I saw many say that this show is “just about alcohol” and that couldn’t be farther from the truth. This show is about the struggle of sticking to your beliefs and loving someone who has a different set of beliefs, how powerful people will manipulate and sacrifice whoever they can to become more powerful, and how nothing is truly as it seems. I ended up watching this whole series in three days and enjoyed every minute of it and it ended exactly as I had hoped which is a huge plus. 

The Best Hit (Hit The Top): 5

Trigger Warnings: Terminal Illness

The Best Hit is a Comedy about a 90′s kpop idol who after a special storm, is teleported 20 years into the future where he discovers not only has he been missing for 19 years, but his family and friends all hate him because of his actions during that missing year. He know has to keep his identity a secret while trying to figure out exactly what happened that missing year to cause him to go missing. However, the longer he stays in the future the more he finds himself hesitant to go back.

(Spoilers ahead) Now hear me out, I know this show is on the controversial side because of the love triangle, but I genuinely enjoyed it. I loved the main lead with the girl, to me they had the most chemistry and the cutest scenes. I know a lot of people hated it because his “son” also had a crush on her and the age gap, but those feelings were never returned in the slightest, and they were both consenting adults who were physically and mentally the same age through wibbly wobbly timey whimey stuff. Not to mention, the main lead never even knew the mother or the son in his timeline and is from a completely different timeline (as seen when he can go back and see himself as well as he can exist in the future without affecting it). Plus the immediate ick and subsequent termination of any support of the son being with the girl the moment he told her that her feelings didn’t matter and that he would pursue her romantically no matter what she said. That just is disgusting to me, I don’t care how long you waited to tell her your feelings, her feelings are just as valid and important as yours, accept that she only sees you as a friend and move on. I saw a ton of people calling the couple disgusting and wrong and I just don’t see why, I mean he has less of an age gap even without the time skip than most “immortal falls for reborn love” kdrama which I also love dearly, don’t get me wrong. I think the winning couple was the best option and the ending was super cute. I do wish the son got with the female idol though, that was such a cute dynamic. (Spoilers end)

Okay, small rant over this show was hilarious, sad, and adorable. I enjoyed every second of it and binged it in only a few days. It had me on the edge of my seat wanting to see what happened next. I loved watching the characters become a family again. The romantic scenes were super cute and the funny scenes were my type of humor. Yoon shi yoon’s singing is also really great, I wasn’t expecting that but the song got stuck in my head for days. It’s got a lot of episodes but they are only about 30 minutes long so it’s perfect or a quick watch. 

Your Honor: 4

Trigger Warnings: Kidnapping, Torture, SA, SH, Suicide, Abuse.

Your Honor is about two twins who lead very different lives; one is a cold, arrogant lawyer, the other is a criminal who loves too much. After the lawyer goes missing one night, the criminal takes the opportunity to make some money and change his life by pretending to be his twin. However, he soon begins to become too attached not only to his new identity but to the student lawyer under him. After his brother returns, he has to figure out how to lead his own life without falling back into his old lifestyle. 

I know, I know. Two Shi-Yoon shows in a row? To that I say absolutely, he always does such a good job and sometimes I just wanna marathon new shows he stars in as they are always so good. (Also, I watched You Raise Me Up when it was airing so that one doesn’t count.) This show was no different, I love the drama that comes with the twins dynamic as more of the backstory gets revealed. I will say the court scenes are not at all accurate to the point of being laughable but it is very interesting. I thoroughly enjoyed watching all the ups and downs the plot goes through as the story carries on. I will say, I did give it a four due to how rushed the ending felt. I’m not saying it needed a super happy ending, I love my fair share of bittersweet endings, but this one really felt incomplete. I wish the characters got more closure than they did and that we had a proper interaction between the twins. Other than that, it was amazing and I highly recommend to those who enjoy drama, romance, humor, and a long watch for it has many episodes. 

Clean with Passion for Now: 5

Trigger Warnings: OCD, Panic Attacks, Mysophobia, Self-harm, Suicide Attempt.

Clean with Passion for Now is a romantic comedy based off a webtoon of the same name. It is about Jang Sun-Gyeol, a man with mysophobia, and Gil O-Sol, a girl who is very messy. They start off disliking each other because of their views on cleanliness, but as they learn to understand each other and the struggles they both have to face, they begin to realize they gained feelings for each other. 

This show was super cute! It’s like a perfect mixture of “My Shy Boss” and “I Am Not A Robot” both of which I adore. I feel like I just really like the trope of “Quiet, misunderstood CEO falls in love with struggling girl who is the exact opposite of him.” bonus points if they start off not liking each other and through a traumatic incident, realize each others struggles. The storyline was super cute, if a little gross and cringy in some scenes, and the characters were lovable, especially towards the end. The romance had me both laughing and awing, sometimes at the same time. I honestly liked all the versions of the love triangle, every ship had the potential and chemistry. My favorite scenes with no context are definitely the umbrella scene and the drunk scene. I did have a issue with how long the conflict took to be solved in comparison to how quickly it was solved and wrapped up. I wish the conflict could have gotten solved earlier, so we could have seen more of the wrap-up without it feeling as rushed as it did. Despite this, I really enjoyed watching and loved how it ended. 

 WebDrama

Blue Birthday: 4

Trigger Warnings: Suicide, Blood, Mourning, Murder, Gore, Self-harm.

Blue Birthday is a drama about a girl who lost her best friend and crush in high school, after getting some film developed from his camera years later she finds she can travel back in time to the day of the picture. Now she tries everything she can to make sure he survives but is she willing to pay the price of saving a life?

This show was really sad and kept you thinking about what could possibly come next. It was filled with twists and turns and I really enjoyed every second of it. It is super sad and dark so be careful when watching in case you are sensitive to any of the above triggers as it is graphic. 

The Great Shaman Ga Doo Shim: 5

Trigger Warnings: Bullying, Suicide, SH, Murder, Demonic Possession. 

The Great Shaman Ga Doo Shim is about a young girl who comes from a long line of powerful shaman, however she never wants to become one herself after witnessing the dangers and alienation that comes form the job. Unfortunately, she doesn’t get much of a choice as her mother transfers her to a school where the bottom ranking student always dies of mysterious causes. Causes that could only be an evil spirit. Now she and the schools top student, who she gives shaman abilities after her grandmother possesses him, must figure out how to stop the slaughter of their fellow classmates before they all die. 

This webdrama was amazing! I loved every moment of it and binge watched it in less than a day. I adore the relationship between the characters and the way the shaman powers are shown both humorously and also dramatically so that you understand that it’s a burdensome power but without making the show too dark. I will say I was thrown for a loop when (slight spoiler) we find out that Woo-soo’s future vision ability is not a shaman ability at the very last episode and it never explains why he has such an ability. My personal headcanon is that he always had it and that’s why the grandmother chose him, cause she knew he would be a powerful shaman and aid as he already had powers of his own. (spoiler end) There is a cute little puppy love romance that is so satisfying and the friendships are all adorable though I wish they actually explained how the highest ranking and lowest ranking classmates became close friends. Like they are so protective over each other and they talk like there’s a story only to brush it off when asked and it’s never actually explained. I just wish there was more explanation in general but I guess that’s what you get when you watch a webdrama. They don’t have enough time to explain everything so you’re left with so many questions, or maybe I just over think. Anyway, I adore this show and recommend to those who love supernatural stuff, drama, puppy love romance, and some cool but subtle super powers. 

[onewomancitadel]

I need a palate cleanser.

From a more positive position, I think putting forth a thesis for why sex and eroticism in fiction can be meaningful - not as a refutation to sexual violence, but purely on its own terms - is actually worthwhile. Because there should be a positive model to the acceptable depiction of 'sex' as rape, and that informing the archetypal dynamics of sexuality in storytelling. It's not like the model should be rape or nothing, objectification or nothing. People think you're trying to take away the only expression of their sexuality that they've got in this sort of topic, and I find it very weird, particularly in feminist spaces and the proshipping debate.

Again, my stance on proshipping/anti shit is that it's schoolyard bullying and moral nuance goes there to die. But on the other hand in my experience it's not like either side really tends to value positive expression of sexuality - it's only about exploring the most taboo (rape) and the other side trying to spin everything as rape because all sex and explicit content is bad. It's fucking bananas. I get that proshippers have their reasons for writing the really dark stuff but when it's done for barren textual purposes I just don't see the justification. Sure, I am not disputing AO3's policy, I just wonder whether it is always artistically defensible. Because that's basically my metric.

But I'm more interested in what eroticism offers storytelling. I think that there is plenty of dark stuff that has genuinely justified ideas - and I think that exploring violence and darker dynamics is not in itself unjustified and is in fact found uncritically in a lot of published literature - but the usual refutation is that I'm trying to police peoples' creative expression, especially in fannish spaces where don't like, don't read. But if I'm trying to find a personally valuable model for sexuality in storytelling, and I'm trying to identify my discomfort, and I'm trying to identify why I'm okay with some of it (I read a Gothic horror romance done very well once in fanficland) and some of it I'm not, then I actually want to consider how it lines up with my own personal conception of what sex (and darker themes related to that, even) achieves in storytelling. Clearly there is something workable here which doesn't play into anti schoolyard bullshit that isn't also thought-terminating 'but I enjoy it' type annoying refrain - which if I categorically reject as cultural criticism and as something which defends, say, the unrealistic, fetishistic depiction of rape, I don't see how I can entertain it in fanfic.

I don't have a personal issue with proshippers the way I do antis, and as I've said I nominally agree with that position. But I don't think it should be a conversation-ender.

As I gestured at, though, it's interesting that even the proshipping debate largely revolves around the taboo - rape, incest, so on and so forth - and not the expression of positive sexuality itself. I feel alienated in that sense, I suppose, but I also think from a position of argumentation - the antis are swift to decry sexuality, so why is it that we conceive of sexuality in proshipping circles as interchangeable with sexual violence?