#// but just in case people wanna make sure im not dead or anything!!!

[crusaderce]

sooooo if you ever wanna know where i'm at, usually i'm lurking or doing stuff on @edenpoise ( hazbin hotel roleplay ) but imma post a few inbox stuff on here every so often. usually that gets me motivated to write in my free time!

[sewerratzz]

im watching another mouthwashing playthrough

the “SYSTEM FAILURE” message that pops up onscreen when the alarm is going off and curly’s running to the cockpit, just before the crash, i wanna talk about it.

if it is just meant to be the warning or emergency screens in the cockpit as they approach the asteroid [its not], it doesn’t make sense. because it wasn’t a system failure that caused it, it was a navigational failure.

SO i wanna talk about what it is.

this message appears on the screen like the other messages that are meant to kind of show jimmy’s state of mind. Take Responsibility. Take Care Of It. BE QUIET. those.

but these big red letters screaming

SYSTEM FAILURE

pop up when we’re playing as Curly. when he now knows what Jimmy has done and can no longer look past it.

Jimmy’s done the most insane thing, crashing the ship, as a result of Curly’s lack of action.

SYSTEM FAILURE

The system isn’t the ship. the system is capitalism, the company they work for not caring enough about the safety of its employees [especially anya, as a singular woman stranded on a spaceship with four men] to put locks in the sleeping quarters. the company not fostering a safe environment to do anything in case of situations just like what Jimmy does to Anya. they all have a group pay package. and i’m sure they will dock credits for anything they can. like if they used a cryopod not in the case of an emergency [such as the crash] like people have suggested they should have used as a holding cell for jimmy, im sure their group pay would have been docked. and this is something the crew can’t have. which is why curly thinks its best to play mediator. and why this leads to the crashing of the ship.

SYSTEM FAILURE

The system isn’t the ship, the system is the patriarchy, and how men protect other men, specifically in cases of SA, abuse, and harassment. Curly looking the other way, only seeing the big picture, when Anya tells him about the dead pixel and how its all she can see. always there, in the back of her mind. Curly telling Anya they can fix this when she tells him she’s pregnant, saying he’ll do anything and then simply not. Curly helping Jimmy get a job on the Tulpar in the first place, it being heavily implied he was in trouble on earth and running away from consequences.

Curly himself is the SYSTEM FAILURE, and he doesn’t see it until it’s far too late.

[scoobydoodean]

ok lol officially most annoying anon in the world (“mischaracterization” anon who just said they were abdicating from the convo 4 being high as balls which. is real and i should stop cuz atp im p sure the whole point of what ur getting at is going over my head lmfao) BUT in terms of what u said u were getting at in ur poll (like if the writers were cognizant of it or if it’s more a display of their own internal biases? again im stupid and high sorry if im once again missing the point by a mile)… BUT

I don’t have any strong inclinations either way but if I had to choose I’d have to say it’s more their own internal/personal bias’s coming out rather than something they were expecting the audience to pick up on and maybe think about. And the only reason I say this is because the identities/status of the people she killed were never really explicitly stated (at least from what i can immediately recall of the episodes) or brought up again.

like it’s notttt rlly brought up throughout the episode aside from just learning that those people are dead and she killed them? like idk nothing about it rlly inclines me to believe it was anything more than subconscious or latent beliefs in the writers because I do think we were supposed to empathize with her so it does make sense in that sort of lens that the writers chose “criminals” or whatever to kinda “soften the blow”, if u will, of her having killed people?

idk. i wanna know what what u think tho!!! like in terms of the poll u posted what would ur answer be?

I have mixed feelings about it, because I think the previous associations the writers have made with Sam and class (as well as Dean and class—for example—in 2.20 "What Is And What Should Never Be") make it very possible it's intentional. Sam justifies Amy's actions partly based on class, and Dean condemns her actions partly for the same reason—that she doesn't get to kill people and get away with it just because they're beneath her on the social ladder. It seems so obvious that one wants to assume it's very intentionally and purposefully done.

At the same time, you are right that the presentation of the story—told through the mouth of a cop and a few newspaper clippings—is heavily biased against the victims. The cop says the third victim deserved it because he had been in and out of jail for petty offenses, and Sam calls him a "low life". You have to work very hard to capture the story of the second victim in the newspaper article. You really can't capture the story on those pages without really sitting down to read, paused on the correct frames. A prominent part of the article is focusing on the victim being a heroin addict who had relapsed and was high when he went to the park. He was vulnerable and "in the wrong place at the wrong time". What gets me the most though is the prominent headline for the first victim: "Body found in park, victim known to police". What a gross way to poison the well. The barely visible subheading reads: "Man had been arrested multiple times, had outstanding warrant". (Again—these multiple arrests indicate petty offenses rather than felonies—probably another addict). When Amy makes an attempt on another victim in the park (only to be stopped by Sam), the target is drunk and fumbling with his keys, trying to get into his locked car. So in every case, the presentation not just from Amy and Sam and the cop but the episode as a whole attempts to bias the audience against the victims, trying to paint them as people who shouldn't be missed, who deserved what they got, and/or whose vulnerability was to blame for what happened to them.

Amy seems to target people who are high or drunk in the park at night because they're vulnerable and alone. I think some fans jump to frame her choice of targets as vigilantism that helps assuage her guilt, but none of those people deserved to die—and it really isn't vigilantism—she's simply following her own mother's shrewd M.O.—you target people who are alone and whose situational awareness is impeded by substances and whose deaths the cops won't put much effort into investigating because they don't see them as victims.

I also think this episode tries very hard to paint Dean in a negative light even prior to him killing Amy. Bobby insists Dean's concern over Sam's well-being isn't warranted when it is perfectly warranted. (We've seen Bobby brush off Dean's reasonable concerns before in 6.06). Then Sam pops off, cutting Dean off to throw a bunch of nonsense in his mouth, and conflating himself with Amy in an absolutely ridiculous way. Dean's voice is suppressed (which is also imo—a prominent feature of the Dabb era in general later in the series). On top of that, this certainly isn't the only episode where Dabb and Loflin's most overt messages try to bias the audience against Dean.

[pinkpigtailsprincess]

How to Dermaplain Properly *࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ🎀

Hi! Hi! 🎀, Welcome 2 My informational guide on how 2 dermaplain properly bc ik some people either want to try it but don’t know how or have tried it and didn’t do it correctly bc believe me i tried it and i did it completely wrong so im here 2 make sure you don’t make the same mistakes i have!! anyways

❤︎ ໋𓈒 What is Dermaplaining??

Dermaplaning is a cosmetic treatment in which dead skin cells and peach fuzz are scraped off with a scalpel by a plastic surgeon, dermatologist, or cosmetologist. - A random definition i got off the interweb!!

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Cool!! Now how do i Dermaplain??

…So What ur gonna do is first get ur materials you’ll need

- a REAL Dermaplaing Razor

i see a-lot of people accidentally using eyebrow razors but please make sure you look for an actual dermaplaining razor bc eyebrow razor tend to have uneven blades and that can irritate the skin!!

- Facial Oil,Aquaphor,Vaseline,Coco Butter or anything that falls under this category!

- Cleanser

- something to put the discarded hair on!

- And Ofc ur Face!!

Step 1; Clean Ur Face!!

Step 2; Take ur facial oil,vaseline etc. and put it all over ur face or just on the areas you wanna focus on to give ur blade something to slide on and easier put up hair and dirt don’t be shy but also don’t put too much!! and let it sir for about 1 minute DONT RUB IT IN

Step 3; Now that its set take ur blade in one hand and ur other hand and pull ur face up just near where ur hair starts and GENTLY!!! shave downwards at a 45 degree angle and do it in gentle short strokes ur cannot shave ur face like how you shave ur body!! and one ur finished a stroke wipe the hair and grime on a paper towel and repeat be careful and be gentle so you don’t cut ur face

Step 4; When ur finished clean ur blade and put back into the safety case! and gently moisturze ur face

and UR DONE!! 🎀 i hope this helped some of yall bye 4 noww luv you!! 🎀☀️

[stolaz-the-artist]

May you make a murder drones au of nexo knights Please 😢

MURDER DRONES SPOILER WARNING

I mean yeah, that's kind of obvious.

This Is gonna be a loooong post. Longest ask I've worked on.

I didn't need to make so many drawings but I had so much fun I just kind of had to.

im gonna do everyone a favor and kind of digitalize my writing under each page, just in case its hard to read.

Serial Designator C

"I don't know because you won't tell me!"

"Oh please don't run! if I miss it will just prolong your suffering"

"Oh i do wanna be dapper *sigh* but alas"

Clay: Are you . . . new drones?

Macy: Uh, sure?

Clay: Hm. . . Well I have been saying we need more bots

Serial Designator W

"C-100110010! HOW DARE YOU LOCK YOUR MOTHER UP!? You let me out this instant!"

"Wait . . . Prom queen?"

Lance: He's literally so ungrateful. Like you're so cool.

"How did you even manage to knock yourself offline?"

*Rebooting. . .*

"If the other one survived after all this time it's truly a miracle"

Serial Designator F (Fletch)

Post limb change

Him and Izzy are very close friends (She think its cool when its revealed he's a Disassembly drone)

Was "adopted" by two worker drones (That W killed in an attempt to get him back)

He's a bit taller due to his torso, but because his legs cant fully support him, he's constantly hunching

"Im so tired of this shit"

Gets called names like • Loose-limb Fletch

•Drop-A-Limbs

•Disjoint-Drone

•Snap-off Fletch

Fletch: WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?

Wanda: Literally barely anything. Just put the right limbs on

Wanda: Like what kind of idiot tried to connect Worker drone limbs to a Disassembly drone torso?

Macy Doorman

"Huh, knew illegal downloading all those Ned Knightly movies would come in handy"

"EAT PLASMA BITCH!"

Macy: One more buzzword and I'll do it

Jestro: . . . Equity Partnersh-

"Oh bite me"

Clay: Now im pretty new to this "Rebelling" stuff. But uh, do I have to fight my mom? Its just that-

Macy: YES!

Clay: sighhh Fine, lets do this

Aaron

"The hell happened to you?"

Aaron: So do you think they like video games?

Lance: Doubt it

Aaron: Then why are we here?

Lance: Blackmail

Aaron: Oh fair

One of Macy's best friends (And the friend she's had the longest)

"Super invited to my shindig next week"

Aaron, whispering: I mean, he's fun sized?

*sizzle*

Aaron, whispering: Ok so not fun

Macy: whispering: OH REALLY!?

Lance

Axl: Where's Macy

Lance: She went out

Axl: Out? Have she lost her mind?

Lance: Think so. Oh and Aaron went with her

Axl: Excuse me?

Lance: Yeah . .

Phone focus cuz tiny space

Wanda: This is so shit

Lance: I know right

Fashionista. Yes he knows there are non flip phones, he has one, but it just doesn't meet the same level of sass as a clip phone

Lance: Do you understand what will happen if you go out there? Let me spell it out; D-E-A-T-H! Are you out of your-

Aaron: I'll come lol

Lance: Yeah, no. You two gp enjoy dying. The hell you think this is, a shitty horror movie?

Axl

"Im gone for 5 min to get some actual edible snacks and everyone is dead!?"

Accidentally gave her the gun idea

Really fixated on food, spends a lot of time recreating food

His bigger legs make him a bit less flexible, but he packs a mean kick (home made)

Axl: There we go!

Lance: Aren't you worried someones actually gonna drink it thinking its actually edible- or drinkable I guess

Lance: But idk, people are pretty stupid here

Axl: Hm, no you're right

Decoration don't drink u'll die lol

Serial Designator J

"its tricked you! and if I promised you anything . . . It tricked me too . . ."

"Ha-ha! I-am so good-at-hiding!"

Is AD's most "trusted" worker (And with ,pst trusted I mean most easily manipulated)

Clay: What will the company do to us once we're done? How do we know the company wont get rid of us?

Jestro: Awh, im so sorry. You know the consequences of questioning the company

*virus*

Clay: Hm, fair enough

Monstrux

Merlok

Absolute Destruction

"The flesh demands invitation"

"Dropped this-silly"

Pre-skinning Merlok

Robot view

Monstrux: You look g-great, toots! hm . .

Monstrux: Have you considered a hat-tho

~*~

There's a few extra sketches I did for fun lying around, and if ya'll want that (plus the story line of what's happening) just tell me I would include it here but this is painfully long enough

(Oh and all relationships are kinda neutral here. They don't entirely line up with the show. Ship whoever I don't care)

Anyways, this took weeks to make (cuz of studying and the fact I got sick in the middle of it) but im rather happy with what I have came up with!

Always feel free to make asks like this! I enjoy them a lot! might take a while for them to come out cuz of school but I'll do my best!

(Also I'm aware some are a bit out of character, it was for comedic purposes)

[lightthemaskedone]

Edit: OML I DIDNT MEAN TO POST THIS I meant to save this to drafts 😭 Alr Im gonna add some things

The new UrbanSPOOK episode sure was something huh? I wanna talk about a few things (there's a lot so bear with me)

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR URBANSPOOK: HELL (don't worry I wont display any of the paintings or images from the episodes)

First thing I wanna talk about is Mona and Bill eating some of their victims. I actually had this theory at some point that they were eating people because of Sean. His painting was "The Man In The Pipes", so at first I assumed he was stuffed down a pipe in the home, but then FAMILY was uploaded, alongside the painting of the supposed fetus shoved down Paul's throat. Im too lazy to check, but if I remember right, the painting's name was scribbled out except for the word "pipe" or something like that. I know pipe was in there at some point. Maybe the pipes Sean's painting was referring to was their esophagus, since the fetus's painting was referring to Paul's windpipe bc that's how he died. Plus, Sean's painting has more red than anything, just like the fetus painting did. We've seen the painter (Mona or Bill, whoever is making the paintings...probably Mona) would most likely have drawn out the pipe since she LOVES her detail in paintings.

Next thing is how much better this episode was compared to previous ones. The only bad thing in the new episode was the bucket, but besides that there weren't really any bad themes. I watched the new episode through Baz's reaction video, and he even showed a screenshot of Urban saying he would make this and episode 10 better than the previous episodes, so good on him!! And the new episode wasn't just theme-wise better, it was VISUALLY better too. The video footage style was amazing, and don't get me started on the last part where they went into Tina's house for the wellness check and caught the killers. Also major props to Tina's voice actress in this, she did AMAZING. She screamed her heart out at the last part, good lord 😭

A smaller part, but I wanna mention how this episode had one of the scariest parts yet I've seen in the whole series. At the end of the episode where Mona has her hands raised because of the cop, she's just...standing there. Neither of them speak after a moment, and the only sound is Tina's screams. Then a distorted smile can be seen on the screen...Mona is just staring at the cop with a smile. She doesn't care that Bill is dead. She doesn't care about Tina's screams. She's smiling like she didnt do anything. And she isnt moving a single muscle. That smile is the last thing Tina ever saw. Mona is happy and has no regrets.

Another thing I want to mention is how Bill Collins was one of the killers. We already knew that because of the morse code thingy from PIGS, but that raises some questions. 1: Where the hell is Jack Stryker?? For those who don't know, Im talking about Tina's boyfriend from WITNESS that randomly went missing while Tina and Flora were getting attacked. He had a painting, so he's probably dead and/or the painters ate him. 2: Who was the fourth/third face in the Collin's photo montage? In LIGHTHOUSE, we find out Bill Collins went missing, his family was found dead yada yada. I don't remember if Bill Collin's had three or four other family members, but ther was another photo amongst the others that probably shouldn't have been there. The baby was dead, yes, but she was found in the attic and not in the mush barrel with the rest of her family. Which means one of those photos is probably not Bill and another victim maybe?? 3: What's his motive? Clearly he had to have snapped or something to go kill a bunch of people. He's probably the reason all the cops and investigators related to the case died (Sean, Sarah, Ian, etc). As we've seen, Bill acted in a feral-like state while working with Mona, him barking while helping her in the murders and roaring at the cop in the video footage before being shot. So what exactly is his motive?? Maybe Mona will say in episode 10 during the trial or we'll just never know. I will say this, when it showed his human picture in LIGHTHOUSE after stating he went missing, it was the only photo that didnt look...real. It looked more like a drawing than an actual photo like all the other ones. Bill was clearly as dangerous as Mona, but why did he decide to work with Mona, especially after his family died? Maybe it was a last resort and Mona agreed to it? (but they probably teamed up with Fred too to get drugs from him, but we all saw how that turned out) So why did Mona decide to let Bill work with her, and why did Bill want to work with Mona? I really wanna know this in episode ten.

There are a few things Im still wondering. We don't know how some of the victims died and Im actually REALLY curious about that. Ian, Jimmy (who I think may be the fourth photo found by the Collin's flesh barrel), Sean (yeah I said earlier I predicted they ate him but we don't know how he died), the two girls in the lighthouse (I forgot their names but Im too lazy to check 🤯), and some of the victims found in the new episode inside of the Paint Factory. Maybe Mona will reveal how she killed them?? Maybe not?? Idk I guess we just have to wait for it to play out

That's all I really have to say. Oogily boogily 🤯🤯🤯

[liliallowed]

I hope sans doesn't hate us now hey hey Crimson you know sans well right do you think he hates us?????? :(

angst below

"don't worry darling he won't blame you as long as I'm around. in fact I can make it so he'll like you more by training you to fight me. he'll be so happy to see you eventually take me down"

"wh-what?"

"you know. like how cats bring dead birds as gifts? or like, just rip out my heart. I think he'll like that. probably kiss you or like cuddle. it's adorable how docile he gets around you. I'd imagine it's like watching a zookeeper snuggle with tiger cubs they raised while the other would rip other people to shreds."

"okay wtf are you talking about. why would you... WANT him to like me? is this part of your evil plans?"

"mm. well, would you believe me if I said I just wanna see you somehow succeed without being discarded in the dumpster in sans's basement?"

"no."

"hehehe. yeah I'm planning on ruining your marriage at the last day. I want to be the worst wingman ever."

"I don't understand. why are you so sure he won't hate me? he... he wants to kill me."

"that's BECAUSE he loves you silly. it's his... way of making sure you're "safe" instead of becoming someone else's exp. kinda like a twisted way of giving his greatest mercy."

"he is going to kill you too right? doesn't that mean he'd love you too?"

"psht I WISH! nah he doesn't give me a fast out. makes sure it's as painful as it can possibly be before I run out of hp. then again it's pointless since I literally can't feel anything. that's not his mercy. that's straight up spite." they shrug.

"he really does care about you you know. it'd be a waste to die to him. DON'T LET HIM TAKE YOUR LIFE. he'd be lonely without you." they frown. "least with YOU he won't be left for dead in a ghost town if I'm gone. call it a plan B in case I actually don't come back. make sure you'll take good care of him"

"what? what do you mean?"

"I've stayed with him cuz leaving him would be too cruel. killing him would leave ME alone. but with you in the mix everyone is happy."

"then why did you give me the reset!?"

"so he can't push you away using the old (you wouldn't understand resets) bullcrap. such a drama queen honestly."

"liar. you just want entertainment."

"true. that too. can't a person just enjoy both being an asshole and being empathetic?"

"you're NOT going to start getting any sympathy from me because of this. you're manipulating me! I'm just a second in command pawn for you aren't I? you're replacement to torment THE ONE PERSON WHO GAVE A SHIT ABOUT ME!"

they stayed silent for a moment...

before pinning you down to the ground and slicing through your souls shield, poking their knife to your throat.

"of course I am. you're so fucking dumb to think I actually GIVE a shit about your dumb relationship with my rival. you almost seemed to forget you're a hostage here that I've had the GENEROSITY to teach self defense."

your eyes widen as you flinch feeling the tip break through the skin.

"I can hurt you room I can BREAK you too. I just don't WANT TO because it'd be too predictable. don't forget your place y/n. if you really are set on those ideals then whats stopping you?"

their grip loses from your hands as they place the blade in your hand.

"go on. then. slay me if you think Im SO evil. I mean hehehe... I'd still come back but if this is going to be your first kill might aswell be me right? "

your hand shook on the blade as they forced your hand forward into their chest.

"STICK TO IT THEN COWARD. FUCKING KILL ME. GO IMPRESS HIM! or are you gonna just make the excuse of killing people is bad? I'll kill sooooo many more people if you don't stop me here hehehe... I'll turn you into a monster too."

your hands shake. you can't. you can't you CAN'T. YOU HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER WAY. THERE HAS TO BE.

[squid-ink-symphony]

*Insert Frye's "what ze fuck?" here*

Not to complain but like i dropped all the way down to Profresh +3 and i can 100% tell you its because of my team mates. Like i do not know what was happening last night. I was constantly getting matched with people in the basic suit with like Splatlandian Youth as their title and the default banner who were managing to get <10 eggs in the basket over the course of 3 waves. LIKE I WAS EXECUTIVE VP 150 LAST ROTATION. I SHOULD NOT BE GETTING MATCHED WITH THESE TYPES OF PEOPLE.

I use the this way signal, i lure bosses, i target high priority things like flyfish and stingers first, i make sure to look at what weapons we have each round to know what i should be prioritizing and i kill what i know my team will struggle with due to their weapons, I FIGHT TOOTH AND NAIL TO GET THE EGGS IN THE BASKET. And yet i have a high score of 105 and im about to go down to profresh +2..... I don't know what's happening.

I can admit when im the problem. Usually i am!! But im playing so well and my team mates are just making the most brain dead choices ive ever seen..... maybe getting over my crippling anxiety and joining a discord or smth is the right move.....

Actually i think id rather die than talk to people. I dont wanna have to interact with others i just want good team mates to magically appear out of thin air :(((

And one last thing im mad about. I dont think ive gotten a special wave other than glowflies or grillers this entire time. Just give me mother ship once. ONCE. Thats all im asking for.....

Anyway if anyone wants to team up ig hit me up.... I may not be a great perfect player cuz of course i make dumb mistakes sometimes or get distracted and i may not be the best with splatlings but i am at least halfway decent and considering the people ive been playing with apparently thats pretty rare >:( Point is we can either friend each other or just make a pool or whatever. Actually u know what yeah ill go ahead and say the code for the pool will be: Symphony

I dont think its case sensitive but id put the capital S anyway. If u wanna message me on here and add me as a switch friend thats fine too of course i just figured if anyone also is scared of starting conversations this would be a way to do it. OH and make sure ur not too low of a rank, i dont mean anything rude by it i just want to make sure i can actually rank up when playing lol. Idk what u need to be if im +3 but i imagine you can find the info online.

[druid-delaluna]

may i ask what happens between you, the fandom, and the crew if you're comfortable recounting? im thinking about getting back into eddsworld after a rocky start in the fandom, but if stuff is worse then..

I want to say firstly if you want to join the fandom don't let my views or story sway you in any way. It's all under the cut please don't go harassing people on my behalf or because you feel you're doing anything good.

A lot of people were victims, including myself of the crew (and by crew I mean those active in the Eddsworld discord before the Patreon change) aggressive and just mean behavior and actions. I'm talking a lot of mad shit spoken, arguments, fights, petty ass drama, and in my case. A lie created by Oblivion/Neep/Prince Jayden to have me kicked from the server. (from what I understand Collin/Jon and a few other crew members were involved as well)That I leaked the Patreon when I never had paid for it. I never had access to it. Either they knew this and didn't care or Bing forgot to mention old mods didn't have to pay for it. I really don't care who did it as most of them dislike me. They didn't like that I was quite blunt with my disapproval and had harsh opinions on their behavior and what was going on with the show. So since they couldn't actually just outright kick me, they figure getting me with this lie was good enough. Bing coming to apologize wasn't because he actually cared, it was more or less damage control pushed by another person, who I got all this information from. Then, you add in all the past grooming and SA crap that happened last summer. On top of these same people going to harass server members and their ex-friends. It is toxic, it is shameful. You think people who have done such bad things would wake up to the fact maybe you're the bad guy in this. You are doing terrible things for what? Your name on a show riddle with issues? Don't you have anything else going for you? I realize I'm tired, I got burnt out fighting and fighting for what I thought was the right thing but man I'm getting old myself I got a lot of opportunities elsewhere.

Regarding fandom, those very same people are now working on the show (SKL was involved too) so it's like I don't want to see them of course. So better I leave, block it all, and try to find some calm back in my fandom/internet life. As well as my own friends being targeted by them or by others over very petty nonsense. I feel bad that perhaps Jayden and the rest are targeting my friends cause of me, maybe they're trying to get at me. So leaving might make it easier on them. I'm not sure. There have been some awful harassment and bullying issues. The fact fandom rightfully opens the discussion of using fascism tropes with the red army but then ignores the rampant racism going on. Also since so many of the older fans are leaving, the younger ones are starting to repeat the same harmful discussions of irl vs show and using that dead man name to push their views.

(Take this next part with a hard grain of salt) Down to the fact that we might not know 100% what happen between Edd Gould and Cal from the google docs. But when I asked Matt about it he couldn't seem to tell us that Cal was an adult at the time of their relationship. I know England laws are different than the states but if you can't just say your friend was dating an adult and kinda avoiding the discussion something very weird going on.

Now if you wanna come back, just stick in your own lane, make your little friend groups, and just have fun is my best advice. Avoid these users as they are very twoface like the rest of the crew. During my time as curator and I got to see those masks drop when they realize you didn't suck up to them. It wasn't just me they acted like this with and I feel so bad for others they hurt to get the positions they have today. It wasn't fair and I understand why removing the one person who stood up to it all was in their mindset as they continue to harm others. I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt that maybe it was just all in my head but after finding out from one of them what really happen, it fucking disgusting why they did this. Hope this help explain why I left the fandom and why I dislike the crew so much.

UPDATE: 5/1/2023 As of today Oblivion and Neepin have reached out to apologize for their involvement and behavior towards me and others. I appreciate this and I'm glad they are coming to see what they did was very wrong.

[smolselfshippingaxcycat]

Oh, okay! Let me toss the question back at you--how about you and Netzach? How'd you two meet and what kicked off your relationship?

Only if you feel like sharing, of course!! /gen

~ librarian-lover 📖

ofc ofc!! thamk fur the ask @librarian-lover! /gen sorry i took so long two answer :'3 and sorry abt how long the answer is, too! /lh

i dont have a whole story planned out yet (beclaws chronic illness is a meanie) nor a name fur my s/i, just vaguely put twogether bits and pieces here and therer, but im hapy two share my ideas!! ill put them under the cut so that the post isnt 5 meters long /lhj

Local Idiot™ somehow manages two get hired at L Corp /lh

they start out in the welfare depawrtment, as one of the furst mempurrs

they dont dislike being there, but being that deep underground offsets their agoraphobia a bit- not enough two cause them panic, but it definitely makes it so that their mental corruption levels rise quicker

so they sign up two transfur two the safety team instead (beclaws control team is "too yellow" and info team is too menacing and safety sounds. not scary and ok maybe they just enjoy how green the halls are there if they cant have bloo)

they happen two bump intwo netzach on one of their furst few days there and they introduce themselves two each other

and while my s/i's attempting two make small talk (and mostly failing), theyre kinda like.. "huh, something abt him seems kinda sad.... oh, people have said that about me a lot! and im purretty touch starved, maybe he needs a hug...? wait, but it'd be weird two hug someone yew just met, right?? maybe i can be his furriend or something thatd be supurr awesome and nyaice-"

they're having All the Thoughts™.... they just cannot stop Thinking™ /lh

so they're trying two come up with excuses two talk two him day after day- while noticing his alcohol and enkaphalin usage, which... kinda worries them. they've definitely been stressed enough themself two the point where they've wanted two turn two drugs... was this a similar case??

efurry time they try two go up and talk two him, though, their voice just... won't come out.

so they have the idea of writing a letter instead! maybe thatd be easier..

theyre very nervous, and constantly state how "its not a crush or anything, i just wanna be furriends and get two know each other meowre!" followed by something like "oh but no purressure if yew dont want i mean i just want yew two know im feeling this way is all!" beclaws they're not quite sure if 'friend-crush' or 'squish' is an ok term two use, beclaws feelings are confusing. the way their brain automatically thinks of the worst case scenarios also makes it so that the letter starts off with something like... "if yew're reading this im purrobly dead or i dropped this on the floor somewhere"

they put said letter in an envelope and seal it with a white heart sticker that they color in the queerplatonic flag colors and write netzach's name on the back.

and they go "ok tomeowrrow im delivering this!"

tomeowrrow comes. they fold the letter intwo their pocket....

and they dont have the guts two deliver it-

"ok ill just carry this around in my pockets while working. in case i die or something.."

they still make attempts here and there two try and deliver the letter two no avail

other agents in the safety depawrtment have obviously taken notice of this and occasionally tease them about having a (supposed) crush on the sephirah of the safety team- meowre in a teasing playful way than anything else

but these teasing interactions turn out two be a bit of a blessing- the whole safety team kinda grows closer twogether with these mischievous lil interactions and hangouts (my s/i included ofc- im just keeping it vague beclaws i wanna make it so that others can bwoop their nuggets intwo this kinda scenario if they wanna ehehe)

uhh i dont have meowch else past this point but like.

theyre sneaking around during netzach's meltdown (although they very definitely shouldnt be, they want two be of help somehow- think of a scenario similar two how the sephirah meltdowns play out in teequeue's playthrough on the lp archive?)

afterwards, they meownage two listen in on bits and snippets of the manager's talk with netzach after his meltdown

that kind of... intensifies their feelings twowards him! like "whoa thats so cool of him actually two keep mewving furward even when life is so scary... i wish i could be like that"

so it becomes not only "i wanna be his furriend" but "i think... i really look up two him."

followed by "and also... its confusing but i wanna give him platonic kisses. does that make sense?? are- are platonic kisses a thing??"

ofc theyre just kinda talking two themself in their head trying two figure out "its not romantic but i think i wanna kiss him?? but! thats purrobably weird ill just say its a squish and try two deliver that letter..."

they. still dont meownage two deliver that letter even after the fall of L Corp

but thankfully, they get another chance two in the Library!

there, they actually manage two work up the nerve two talk two netzach, learning furrom their past mistake of just letting the oppurrtunity slip by- and they do it on their furst day, too!

they actually get along quite well and are p relaxed with each other!

my s/i doesnt drink (just beclaws they think there are better tasting and smelling things out there) and they encourage netzach two purractice some moderation beclaws they just worry like that a lot

often times after receptions, they nap snuggled next two each other (meowch two the delight of my touch starved s/i)

the qpr really only "started officially" after my s/i was explaining two another assistant librarian that "even tho i wanna kiss him it isnt romantic but i cant explain why it just doesnt feel romantic"

but they were explaining loud enough fur like. efurryone on the floor of art two hear beclaws. "what is volume control im neurodivergent also stop making me so flustered /lh"

netz has (purrobably?) nefur heard of anything like that befur, but is willing two give it a shot

so theres always kisses on the cheek or forehead pre-reception and purrobably meowre kisses and closerer snuggles post-reception. sometimes occasionally kisses on the lips, lots of hand holding or havin an arm around the other or little ways of showing physical affection (ᶦ ʳᵉᵃˡˡʸ ˡᶦᵏᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ʰᶜ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ⁿᵉᵗᶻᵃᶜʰ ᶦˢ ˢᵘᵖᵘʳʳ ᵖʰʸˢᶦᶜᵃˡˡʸ ᵃᶠᶠᵉᶜᵗᶦᵒⁿᵃᵗᵉ) tl;dr: local idiot joins lobcorp, tries and fails two befurriend netz, meownages two actually gain the nerve two talk two him during the events of ruina and talks a little too loudly but it turns out two be ok beclaws qpr

[goremet-chef]

one thing that always confuses me when it comes to gender identity and like. letting my family know that 'hey, i am trans' roight is

i guess i just dont get it? how you can completely value someone on the basis of their gender identity. cuz like. im not my gender identity. im dom. past whether im a guy or a girl, im me. im a person and i like things, i dislike things, etc

i just dont get the whole "ohh woe is me, my daughter is dead now" thing that parents go thru, because like.. isnt there more about me that you liked? maybe in my case, no, since i tend to be pretty closed off from my family, but like..

i have friends and i love my friends. more than anything, i love my friends. i love THEM. as people. i dont care what pronouns they go by, what they identify as. i see them as they are, which is my friends. thats why like.. for me its so fucking EASY to go with different pronouns and name and all that, my older brother came out as trans to me a couple years after i was out and despite knowing him all my life as a different name with different pronouns, i have to very intentionally make sure not to call him by he and by his name in front of my mom cuz hes not out to her yet, ITS A STRUGGLE to revert back to a name that he isnt anymore, you feel me?

it just seems so shallow to me, like.. idk MAYBE it has something to do with my funny autism brain cuz i really just dont get most sort of society role type shit but how does your love for someone stop when they decide to go by a different name? i think thats crazy cuz thats the VERYLIKE. SURFACE LEVEL SHIT and still its somehow too hard for them

ive tried to explain to my mom like. i find it very easy because im able to see the people i love past their gender and their physical appearance and WHATEVER. i see them as them, as their heart their mind their soul. if someone comes out to me and tells me oh i dont feel like a boy right, the first reaction i have is not "oh so you want me to call you a girl? and you want she pronouns?" which seems to be a very common parent response im noticing. my first thought is "okay, my friend is opening up to me about a change in their identity, so my job as a friend is to change how i see them" because its true! its so important in my opinion past like. okay fine ill call you what you wanna be called, like no!!!

i dont want you to call me a boy just cuz you think its what i want, i want you to respect me as a person enough to see that im presenting a change to you, and take it upon yourself to accept that change. i dont wanna be called dom out of obligation. i want them to love me so much that they would have no problem switching what they see me as. because im not just a girl, or a boy. im dominic, im me. im my own person past what you see on the outside. thats the cool part about friends and family is that you get to let them see whats inside and theyre supposed to love you for you

maybe thats not what i get with a lot of my family, but i definitely get it from my friends and im so grateful for that

[queenimmadolla]

Question. What do u think about fics where eddie is cheating on reader? Do u read them? Would u forgive him? I only ask cuz for me once u cross that line i'd never get with u no matter how hard he begs. Idk why but i've seen like 3 Cheating fics today and i dont wanna be hurt. Lol. I wanna say that u have a cheating fic but im not sure.

This is literally the third fucking time I’ve tried to answer this ask because i would type away and tumblr would decided to glitch out to my home screen and erase everything i typed, so please forgive me if I sound aggressive, it’s not towards you at all. I was reading through this ask and thinking “ooh, bestie you’re asking the wrong person cause i have one of those” then i got to the end of your ask lol. I’ve actually been wanting to talk about this for a while so I’m gonna answer you and ramble! numbering them just in case the keep reading thing eats anything (1-5)

1.) I approach these fics with caution. I love angst. Adore it. It is the ultimate plot establisher and mover but i only really like to read angst with happy endings. So I’ll read a fic about Eddie cheating if there’s resolution or if the writer says there will be resolution but there’s only one real way to write a satisfying ending for everyone in this case, although it’s definitely a preference thing as well (whether or not you’d even forgive him because usually people want him dead in this scenario lol). Whether or not I would take him back just depends on how the scenario is written. Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no, but he's also not ever allowed to be happy again in his lifespan or even in death.

2.) Personally, I’m not big on reader forgiving Eddie—even if he seems genuine in his apology—if i haven’t read about him doing enough to be forgiven, you know? Like he’s got to grovel, beg, improve, suffer, chase after reader and go on a fucking journey through the center of the earth, through hell, Olympus, wherever—move fucking mountains to get them back. But usually, you’ll only see a couple of time skips and summaries of what he’s done that we don’t get to see expanded upon. That’s when I’ll go to the comments and see people stating they wish Reader hadn’t forgiven him so easily or something. It’s never the writer’s fault, though. Because writing that satisfactory ending? That’s fucking hard.

3.) I can give you that little summary and probably expand upon it, but actually writing a full fledged resolution? Dialogue? Dictating whether or not Eddie is leaning against a wall when he says something or blinks or licks his lips after his speech, secondary characters, what the fuck is the reader doing at home, are they reading, are they sad, are they on their bed—all those little details that bring the story and characters to life????? They turn that promising summary into something that’ll be over 15k words. And that’s a lot. That’s a lot of dialogue to plan, a lot of movements for characters to make, descriptions of settings, hell even the fucking weather! And it takes FOREVER! That’s why it’s been what, maybe a year almost a year and I haven’t updated To Pieces (but i AM working on it so put down the tomatoes lol). I’ll write out chunks, I’m talking like 4k words and be so dissatisfied with parts or progress because I’ll realize i wrote all that and i still haven’t even gotten anywhere, nowhere near the resolution or meat and potatoes and delete it.

4.) So i don’t blame writers for the time skips or the quick resolution cause it’s really fucking hard to write, kudos to them, give them their flowers. And usually they only do it because people are hounding them for a part two.

5.) But in real life? No. I’m not taking anyone back lol. I’m too hot for that.

Anyways, that was a lot. And that’s what you missed on glee lol.

[quirkle2]

WAIT WAIT if wars is exiled from his own home ,,,, the amount of dread. he would feel when LU is over and the found family is unfounded my god . like yes, he still wouldn't regret it bc it happened over him standing up for ledge, but that opens up the problem of homelessness and not to mention the spiral he'd probably go down from losing the family he's grown so used to having by his side. from how you've said it, im guessing he really has nobody to lean back on in his own time. i can see him digging his own way out and still finding a way to live happily but the way you've set it up makes at least the first few months for wars post-LU hurt and i am here for it <33

WIGGLES WIGGLES RUNS AROUND IN CIRCLES i actually have . an lu ending established in my head. i wont ramble abt it here cuz i don't wanna stray from ur ask but could y'all possibly indulge me sometime and let me ramble abt the Literal Best Case Scenario that will indeed give wars a very happy ending . it's my beloved ranch au and i cherish it deeply looks at u all like a pathetic little wet dog that's begging for scraps

BUT IF UR HERE FOR HURT,,,, i think i have some. in my head this is sort of a What If scenario—horrible-no-good-terrible-worst-case scenario—cuz i'm a little bitch boy who can't handle unfounded family and ill sob for three days straight if it ever happens for real but i can destroy him in hypothetical scenarios . for the funsies

(warning for unfounding the found family . and also additional stuff in the tags)

he Would be homeless and honestly he'd be damn hard-pressed to find any inn or business who would allow him service. imagine: he's just said goodbye to the chain and he's an absolute wreck—emotionally exhausted and Yeah rly fuckin hopeless, and he trudges to the nearest town he can find and discovers that 1) everybody he sees looks at him w malice, and 2) all of the business owners in town Refuse service to him

he discovers that somehow, at some point, false word had gotten out that their hero "abandoned" them. the stories r all different, and wars has no idea how they originated—some of them claim he simply quit and left, some say he Attacked The Queen and went rogue, some call him a traitor and accuse him of working with and fleeing to other countries, and some think he's Dead

and that . is a fucking slap to the face. he's been training 24/7 since he was 9 years old, put up w the abuse and neglect from his shitty father all the while, risked his life every day when promoted to captain to defend this kingdom from enemies and traitors alike, and when his people abandon him, they accuse him of treason and say he left his home to rot.

he walks through the streets of this town and most families are ushering their children into houses bc they heard the one-man army hero has gone mad. some of the more hostile, up-front people take him head on, spout death threats at him, swipe at him w blades and torches. he can't escape into a building bc no owner will let him in. he Has to flee

and u can imagine how the rest of his days go. search for a town, get chased out, camp in the woods and survive on scraps and dirty river water until he can find another town that prolly Won't sell him anything. he's fucked. he's truly and royally Fucked.

occasionally, he's saved by a town or two that leans toward the other side of things and some people don't believe the stories. some people think he was wronged, some believe he was Murdered, some think he simply fuckin retired, it varies. they're usually nicer to him, sometimes indifferent. the kinder people take him in, give him clean clothes and a warm meal and let him stay at the inn at a discount and sometimes even for free, if he looks particularly ragged or starved (he . is indeed lookin a little thin). he makes sure to thank them plenty

one time, he's invited into a nice family's house and they cook a hearty meal for him, offer a guest bed to rest in. and then they try to kill him in his sleep.

he doesn't take any handouts after that.

it takes a while—and i mean a while—to find somebody who's willing to let him rent a property or stay at an inn for an extended period of time. most people r wary of him, and since they've all heard the stories of how unstoppable he is, to regular old people he now seems like a monster. eventually though, he does find a place and folk who don't think he's all bad that'll let him stay if he pays well. he has plenty of money—he just hasn't been Allowed to spend any of it

that whole other ask ? the whole Point of the scarf deal, and what it symbolizes ? it's . kinda shredded into pieces in this scenario. yes, he did get better from his time in the war and Yes, the scarf still represents him finally finding a family to love and happiness to be had, but . now that's gone. his family is Gone. literally all that he has left is his mother's scarf, and even what it represents feels,,,,,,,,, soiled

he can't even visit his mother's grave. the cemetery is in castle town. he's been robbed of Literally Everything

.,, yeah ok that's all im so sorry GVIEAGYV hate to cut it short but this is too sad for me and like I said I'm a goddamn little bitch boy and if he doesn't get happiness RIGHT NOW !!!!!!!!!! I'LL DIE!!!!

i like to think he'd get better. but honestly ? that's . so much on him. all that on Such a sensitive and sweet person is a lot. i feel like he'd be miserably unhappy and hopeless for . a long time

[greensaplinggrace]

honestly THANK YOU for saying all that abt baghra bc i thought i was going crazy from not liking her??? bc i haven't read the books and only summaries of them on wiki and like. i dunno why ppl like her actually even in the show bc this guy, her son, is like "i wanna make the world better for us grisha" and she's just like "no." even tho he sees that she's MAKING HERSELF SICK from suppressing her powers! she's literally like in bed coughing in the flashback yet seem much healthier at the little palace. also like after everything, after her disapproval, after the fold, after centuries of waiting for the sun summoner.. he never abandons her. he makes sure she's cares for. he doesn't harm her. and i have to wonder if baghra has ever thanks him for that, for just not leaving her alone. like i dunno how im suppose ro believe aleks is a heartless villain when he still cares for his abusive mom like this. like has baghra even told her she loved him (honestly she reminds me of a classic emotionally unavailable asian parent but maybe that's just me). also im wondering if baghra ever told aleks that he had an aunt.. bc like.. now that u bring up her isolating him it's like hmmmm...

not at me being like alina... why do u trust the bitter old woman who literally beats u with a stick and verbally abuses u every chance she gets.. just bc she showed a bad painting... like.. pls use two braincells to see that who u figured out as his mother... is also using his protection..

like baghra could've upped and left with alina. but no. she stayed bc she knew she was safe under aleks's protection.

alsoim just impressed that after his first friend tried to drown him and harvest his bones... he didn't go into hiding???? he still wanted to make a safe heaven for grisha!!! HE STILL WANTED TO PROTECT GRISHA EVEN AFTER HIS GRISHA FRIEND TRIED TO KILL HIM FOR HIS FUCKEN BONES. like... this is the guy im suppose to believe is the villain???

honestly i feel like part of the reason why LB's plotlines seem so bad and disconnected (and sometimes outright racist but that's another rant) and why darkles is disproportionately more violent and villainous in the later books is bc she didn't expect the darkling to be so popular and wanted to stick with her guns of making him the villain. but also wanted the money from aleks's popularity. but like you can't have ur cake and eat it too.

Well thank you for sending this ask! It's very sweet and very passionate. I'm glad you liked my post! I didn't put as much thought into it as some of my others lol. I kind of just talked. But it was nice to be able to finally talk about some of the problems I have with both her character and the fandom/author's perception of her.

HERE is the post this is referring to, in case anyone's wondering.

👀👀 You've hit the nail on the head for so many things, here!

Baghra is extremely emotionally unavailable, basically to the point of neglect. She's also verbally and physically abusive, traits which I doubt were only reserved for her students and not her son. Baghra claims she would do anything to protect him, but I've known a lot of parents who have that mindset and yet still harm their children because they think it's "good for them".

Aleksander stays at Baghra's side for years, and even when they're opposing each other she's never too far away from him. Idk if you've read the books but he does eventually hurt her. And as much as I don't like Baghra, I think his actions were horrid. But I'm also honestly kind of surprised it took him so long lmao.

Yeah I mean, in terms of isolation, let's not forget that she never wanted to introduce him to his father, either. Baghra's sense of eternity clouds a lot of her judgments on relationships, which means she views most people as dust and therefore teaches her son to as well. The problem with that is that he's a growing child, and he needs those social and emotional attachments for healthy development.

I would bet quite a bit of money that Baghra has either never told him she loves him or she has told him so few times it's practically forgettable.

And everything becomes more complicated because so many of Baghra's actions are understandable because of her life and her history, but the impacts they have on the people around her, especially Aleksander, are permanently damaging. And the fact that that's never gone over in critical depth in the books or how it's glossed over in fandom is just very disconcerting. Like, acknowledging Baghra's failings doesn't mean we're excusing Aleksander's actions, it just means we're holding Baghra liable for her own. Which the fandom should be doing, considering she's the epitome of an abusive parental figure.

And Alina trusting Baghra over Aleksander is even more confusing! Especially in the show!! This is the woman who beat her and abused her and tortured her friends when they tiny little children (and who probably still does so now that they're adults). This is the woman who mocks you and harasses you and insults you on a regular basis. Why does Baghra revealing she's Aleksander's mother make Alina change her mind?! Like fuck, I'd just feel bad for Aleksander. No wonder he kept it a secret, I would too! And that painting is enough evidence?! Really?! A random painting shown to you by this abusive mentor that's been making your life hell. That's what you're going to betray your new lover over?

The friends trying to harvest his bones thing is a good point, too. I think Aleksander, especially show Aleksander, is incredibly idealistic. I think he cares too much for others - those he's deemed worth his care (a sentiment given to him by Baghra). Despite everything she's tried to teach him about hiding and abandoning others and never caring and never doing anything to help or reach out or connect with people, Aleksander still continues to do so. It's likely because he never got it from Baghra growing up, and so is desperate for those emotional needs to be fulfilled elsewhere.

His turning point, when Baghra tells him it was understandable that those kids tried to kill him because the world is such a hard place for them - that's crucial. And the reason it's possible as a motivating factor is because of that idealism and that desire to help and that desire to be everything his mother isn't. Baghra tells him this trauma he just experienced was because of the oppression of his people, and instead of following her lead and accepting that, going into hiding and abandoning everybody to their misery, he goes I can do something about that. I can make it so this never happens again. Which is usually how trauma like that combines with one's core personality traits at a young age, especially when there's none of the essential support systems in place to aid in recovery (ie, the role Baghra should have been filling but wasn't, because she decided to exacerbate the problem instead).

And yeah, one of my biggest problems with the ham-fisted "beating you over the head with a sledgehammer of evil deeds" look-how-bad-this-character-is! portrayal of the Darkling in the later books comes from the impression I get that Bardugo doesn't trust her readers. She's so desperate to have us hate this character and think him an irredeemable villain, not trusting any of her readers to engage critically with a morally gray character, that it feels quite a bit like condescending fucking bullshit. Which ew, I know how to engage with literature, thanks.

She really does seem to look down on a large part of her fandom, and imo, the infantilization of the female characters in her books seems to carry over to her impression of most of her female readers as well. Which is why the Darkling's character arc gets fucking destroyed. But he's still a good cash grab, of course, so she'll shake his dead corpse in front of the fandom for money every time she wants something from it.

Also! Another reason I think her plotlines feel disconnected (I'm sorry Bardugo I respect you as a person, but shit-) is because the writing in SaB is just bad. I mean, nevermind the absolutely nauseating implications of the way she portrays the Grisha as a persecuted group who's situation is never actually fully addressed as it should be, considering Grisha rights is what her main villain is fighting for (imo for a series called the Grishaverse, LB seems to be pretty anti Grisha), but her characters and story alone are just wrong for each other. They don't fit together.

And the ending is one of the main pieces of evidence in that regard! You can’t say the ending where Alina isn’t Grisha anymore is her “going back to where she started” when she’s always been Grisha. She just didn’t know she was Grisha because she denied that part of herself that she was born with.

Alina is reluctant to move forward or change, she struggles with adapting, and she’s very set on the things she’s grown attached to throughout her life. She also has some latent prejudices against the Grisha, and so denies the possibility of being Grisha for those reasons as well.

Alina’s lack of powers in the beginning of her life because she willfully doesn’t learn about them to avoid change versus her lack of powers at the end of the book when she’s accepted them and then they’re stripped away from her by outer forces are two entirely separate circumstances. You can’t make a parallel about lost powers and lack of Grisha status bringing her back to the start when she was always Grisha and she always had powers and she simply refused to come to terms with it because of personal reasons.

The first situation is an internal conflict that indicates a story about growth and a journey of self acceptance. Denying herself the opportunity to learn about her heritage and to find acceptance with a group of people like her because she’s tied to the past and because of the way she was raised is the setup for a narrative that tackles unlearning prejudice and learning how to connect with a part of her identity that was denied her and learning how to grow independent and self assured. It’s the setup for a different story entirely. The second situation is an external conflict that centers around the ‘corrupting influence of power’... for some reason.

In a world where Grisha do not have social, political, or economic power and they are hunted, centering your heroine’s journey of self acceptance and growth around an external conflict about... the corrupting influence of power (in a group of people that don’t actually have any power?!) just doesn’t work. It is literally impossible to connect the two stories Bardugo is trying to push in Shadow and Bone without seriously damaging the main character’s developmental arc.

The only way a narrative like this would work, claiming that she has gone back to where she started, is either a) if the Grisha weren’t actually a persecuted group and instead were apart of the upper class, or b) if the one bad connection between the two instances is acknowledged - that Alina denied a part of herself crucial to self acceptance and growing up, and that losing her powers at the end has also denied her. It is a tragedy, not a happy ending.

Alina suffered because she didn’t use her powers. She grew sick. It was bad for her. This was not a resistance to 'the corruption of power and the burden of greed', it was her suffering because she couldn’t fully accept herself.

Framing the ending as a return to the beginning can’t be done if you don’t address how bad the beginning was for your main character. You brought her back to a bad point in her life. You regressed her. This should be a low point in her arc. It should be a problem that’s solved so she can finish developing organically or it should be something that is acknowledged as a tragedy in it’s own right, for the future the world (the writing) denied her.

This is a ramble and it makes no sense and I’m really sorry, but my point is that Bardugo put the wrong characters in the wrong story. The character arc required for organic development doesn’t match the story and intended message at all. The narrative doesn’t fit the cast. She's got two clashing stories attempting to work in tandem and she ends up with both conflicting messages that fans still can’t comprehend in her writing and an ending that doesn’t suit her main character to such an impossible degree that it’s almost laughable.

So yeah, there's a few reasons why I think the story and the plot feels so bad and disconnected. I hope you don't mind me making this answer so long! 😅 I was not expecting to write this much.

[beomglocks]

in the morning ; k.th

summary : taehyun tries to keep you safe from the world’s wandering eyes.

pairing : yandere!taehyun x “captive” s/o!reader

warnings & other : angst (?), blood, there’s a dead person, yes the body is described (not in too much detail), enclosed spaces, dehumanization (?), honestly ignore the title i didnt know what to call this

w/c : 1.7k

your bedroom door creaks open allowing a sliver of light to shine onto your bed and down on to your face. you scrunch your face in frustration but merely turn over to face the wall to continue your peaceful slumber.

a finger pokes at your face annoyingly and you swat at it to leave you alone. "my love, wake up," you hear someone whisper.

you groan but make no indications that you'll be listening to the annoying voice in your head. you feel something cold drift across your face and down your neck which makes you shiver. when you bring your hand up to your neck to pull it away, you flinch and sit up quickly.

"ow!" you inspect your hand which now has a large bleeding gash from gripping whatever was on your neck. now that you're semi fully awake, you look up to see taehyun. great, he's back from doing whatever it is he does at this godforsaken time. you wonder if it's a normal day when he's home but no- you know there's a reason why he's in your room right now.

"i wouldn't have gripped that like that if i were you," he snickers playfully. you look down at what he's holding and frown at him. "what...did you put a knife to my neck?" crazy bastard, you knew something would go wrong whenever he was within 10 centimeters of you.

"had to wake up the sleeping beauty somehow," he grins. his face immediately goes stony and he grabs your hand, looking at the aftermath of his actions. it scares you how quickly he could change his expression. sometimes you weren't sure how to act around him because you weren't sure how he would react.

"im sorry though, i'll clean it up right away." he quickly gets up and grabs some alcohol and tissues that are laying around, and rushes back to you.

"so no light today?" you ask quietly while he cleans the wound skillfully. he stays quiet for a moment and you're about to ask him the question again in case he didn't hear you but he soon speaks up.

"n-no not today.. i don't wanna be seen like this. it could scare you," he laughs dryly. he scrubs your hands with more haste now, afraid that you'll take initiative to turn on the lights.

you sigh. how considerate of him however it's not like you haven't seen him with blood splattered across his glass skin before. it wasn't out of the ordinary to see him like this after all. your room only has a tiny window above the bed and you couldn't even look out from it since it was too high. the only light that was available to you was the moonlight. unfortunely it didn't even reach far enough to shine down on taehyun to give you the luck of seeing him.

"when are you going to stop this?" you ask mostly to yourself. "i'll stop when it gets through people's heads that you're mine."

he grips your injured hand as the anger of what he had to witness today comes rushing back to his memories. "t-tae my hand," you wince.

he loosens his grip just a little bit, enough for you to not feel that much pain but obviously, it still hurts. god, you really wish he wasn't here right now.

"why...why did he- it's his fault you know. it's not like i wanted to kill him," he says. you can hear the anxiety in his voice and it makes you want to comfort him a little bit. only a small part of your brain feels bad for his current mental state but that's only because of how kind taehyun was to you way before well- this. somewhere in you, you hope that he will change but you know he's too far gone at this point.

"he had it coming though," taehyun smiles, looking down at your wound. "he should've known not to mess with other people's property." you clench your jaw at his words. it's unfortunate how taehyun doesn't see you as a human anymore, only an object for him to keep enclosed in a glass case, like some china doll.

"you're not entirely innocent y/n," he grits. he grips your hand purposely and you let a tear roll down your face now. "taehyun you're hurting me," you manage to choke out. he pouts mockingly at your plea.

"you hurt me and you hurt that guy i had to kill," he says in a matter of fact tone. "when he said hi you should've just kept your mouth shut but no you just had to make conversation and let him hug you like some-"

he cuts himself off before he can say something that he might have to force himself to apologize for later. you both sit in silence minus your ragged breaths mixed with his heavy ones.

"you killed him," he says simply. "what?" you breathe out. "you killed him y/n! if you had just focused on me like i focus on you then i wouldn't have been forced to kill him like i did."

"taehyun i-"

"go say sorry," he sighs. you look at him bewildered but it only takes you a moment to realize what he means. "taehyun," you sob. you don't want to say that you can't believe he brought a dead body home but the sad fact is that you can believe it. he mustve had no where to hide it once he was done. taehyun is not one to make empty threats. he chuckles, shaking his head, "go say sorry to your friend."

he tries to pull you from the bed but you cling onto the bedsheets, adamant about not moving. "what so now you don't want to give him the time of day? earlier you seemed just so over the damn moon speaking with him!" he shouts.

you shake your head frantically. you want to speak, to reason with him, but nothing comes out your mouth other than choked sobs. "don't be like that, it's for your own good. now let's go," he says.

this time he uses all his force to rip you from your hold on the bed. "my love...im gonna teach you something about respect," taehyun speaks lowly. his monotone voice sends chills throughout your frigid body. you kick and scream and punch his back, hoping that you can shake him enough to let you go but nothing you do phases him.

he walks through the house with you slung over his shoulder for about a minute before stopping in front of the jacket closet. he sets you down as gently as he can in front of it and you stare blankly at it, not ready to face whatever is inside.

"it goes both ways," he finishes. you hesitantly look up at him, finally seeing his face for the first time since earlier today. you flinch when you notice just how much blood is scattered over his face. the kill must've been brutal enough to send that many splatters of blood flying.

"don't look at me, look at him. don't be disrespectful," he says. when you turn back towards the closet you flinch harshly at the sight. the guy whom you spoke to earlier was now slumped over in your closet. you remember how lively he was when speaking to you but now his skin was completely drained of life and pale in color. his lips were dry, probably from trying to heave in air to try to live. you're afraid to further gaze at the body because the further down you go the worse it gets. so much so that it's practically dosed in blood.

"say it, say you're sorry!" he commands. you know that you're not really saying sorry to the dead man in your closet. taehyun wants you to say sorry to him. you know he couldn't care less about this man. he wants you to regret putting him in the position to kill another human being.

"i-im- im-" taehyun sucks teeth impatiently. "if you don't say it naturally i will lock you in here all night. i don't want to do that so you better do it right."

a noise leaves your throat when he shoves you closer to the body. you whine, trying your best to control your voice and tears. "i-" your voice gets weak but you use every bit of force in you to say it. you don't wanna risk having to stay in that closet all night.

"im sorry," you blurt. you hear taehyun chuckle behind you, satisfied for now. "was that so hard?"

"y/n you're mine and only mine. i feel so livid when others so much as look in your direction, do you understand?" he says calmly. you nod, already wanting to be back in your bed, under the covers, away from all of this.

you hear taehyun hum and suddenly you're shoved into the closet. it catches you so off guard that your body slams into the dead one. you yell in panic and scramble as far away from it as possible. "taehyun! w-what's going on?!" you call out.

the closet is so dark when it's closed that you can't even see anything. atleast you know you're not near the body. "y/n- i-i'm doing this because i love you ok?" he says uncertainly. "this way no one can look at you or talk to you and try to seduce you."

you bang on the door, your heart beating with each slam. "p-please let me out," you plead weakly. you already know that once taehyun has done something he doesn't change his mind so it's no use trying to reason. "i-im scared- please."

he stays silent for a moment and you're about to burst into tears again thinking that he's already left but he speaks up after a couple beats of contemplative silence.

"don't be scared ok y/n. you'll be fine. i'm going to come back for you in the morning." he goes silent again and all you can hear is your heavy breathing and wet sniffles. "please don't be too mad at me, i love you," you hear him whisper before you hear his footsteps retreat.

the night is spent without much sleep and your fist pounding at the closet door, hoping for an early release but it never comes.

[sirenascales]

-> double black [part four] 18+

-> Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader x Dazai

-> Who knew getting fired from work could lead to this?

-> Content: SMUT, slight angst, violence, murder, swearing

The investigation continues, even if things aren't moving as smoothly as one would like. [Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader x Dazai]

2,073 words

note: SMUT Like... this was an excuse to write smut with both of them okay, and totally i forgot to tag those who are on my taglist for the previous part and im so sorry lol but please enjoy!

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Final || masterlist

Days have gone by and the investigation is still underway, but things weren't looking too great. There was still no confirmed DNA evidence, no weapon, not even a witness. Nothing to aid in the apprehension of Taichi's murderer.

"If only Ranpo were here," Atsushi sighed deeply, the snack loving detective out on another case that had popped up. "He would have solved this in a heartbeat."

I laughed softly, wringing my hands nervously. "It's too bad he isn't here," I said, trying to focus on the paperwork in front of me. "Surely it would make things easier for us..."

"But that'll just be boring!" Dazai exclaimed from his desk, leaning against Atsushi who just pushed him off.

"This isn't for your entertainment, Dazai! The killer could have fled the country by now," Kunikida argued, crossing his arms over his chest. "For now, we just have to stay focused and not waste time.

I nodded, slumping back in my chair and fiddling with my pen. "What the hell are we missing..."

We didn't dwell on it for much longer, since the shift ended. I sighed in relief, looking forward to just going home, eating dinner, and going to bed. The case was draining, the dead ends we kept running into just sending us back to square one. Now all I wanted was to rest for the night.

But of course, with a certain suicidal maniac, that was not happening.

"Isn't this cheating..." I gasped out softly, Dazai pressing his naked body against me from behind, his hard dick against my ass and his mouth on my neck.

"Maybe..." Dazai hummed, reaching around to grab my breasts, the soap in his hands making my skin slippery. "But there's no such thing as cheating in a fight."

I gasped sharply when Dazai pinched my nipples, eyes fluttering closed. "This isn't even a fight... you're the weirdo that wanted to turn this investigation into a game."

Leave it to Dazai to basically latch himself onto me as I made my way home. We ordered delivery, eating together on my couch and deciding to watch a movie. Before I knew it, we were making out on my couch, soon enough making our way to the shower.

The water was hot, steaming up the bathroom. Our wet hair stuck to our skin, Dazai holding onto my hips tightly as he fucked me from behind. He bit his lip in concentration, relishing in the sound of my cries echoing in the small room.

"Fuck... Osamu, you feel so good," I cried out, hands slipping on the tiled walls, trying to grab for something. Dazai just pressed his chest against my back, keeping up his rough pace as he chuckled in my ear.

"Do you like that?" "Yes!" "Of course you do, dirty little girl." Dazai reached around and grabbed my face, stuffing two fingers into my mouth. That had my eyes rolling back as I weakly sucked on his fingers, his other hand working on my clit. That finally sent me over the edge as I screamed around his fingers, body shaking as I reached my peak.

Dazai fucked me through my orgasm, ignoring my whines from the overstimulation until he quickly pulled his cock out, pumping himself a few more times before he hit his own orgasm, cumming right on my ass.

"Fuck, bella. You're so beautiful," he gasped, kissing me deeply while pulling us under the hot water.

We barely made it out of the bathroom before going at it again, Dazai fucking me against the wall in the hallway, one of my legs hooked around him while he wrapped a hand around my neck. His breath was hot against my neck, coming out in breathless pants while he continued to rail me.

"Incredible," he whispered in my ear, his hand still around my neck, keeping me in place. "And so pliable... you'll always be putty in my hands."

"Mmm!" I moaned almost pathetically. "Yes..."

"You're my pretty little subordinate?"

"Yes!"

Soon, we finally made it to my bed, where Dazai proceeded to make me ride him like my life depended on it. I was left shaking, the two of us very satisfied.

"So much for a quiet evening," I huffed a while later, the two of us finally getting clean before burying ourselves under my covers. "You are one horny bastard, Dazai."

"Says the equally horny bitch," Dazai retorted and I laughed, turning and pressing my face against the side of his neck.

It went silent, and thankfully it was a comfortable silence where we just lied there, holding onto each other. I sigh contently, fingers lazily trailing up and down his chest while I can feel the bandages on his arms against my skin.

"Dazai?"

"Hm."

"You know..." I started carefully, keeping my face pressed against him. "If you ever need to like... talk... when you're feeling... bad... I'm here for you." I bit my lip, hoping I wasn't overstepping. "I'm here. Even if it's just to listen..."

Dazai didn't say anything, and I was too freaked out to look at him. Though, after a moment, he pressed a kiss to the top of my head, giving me a nice squeeze.

"You are very kind, bella."

I frowned, cuddling up more against him. I blinked when he shifted, looking at him questionably as he set me down on the bed before he started to get up. "Where are you going?"

"To the bathroom," he grinned back at me. "I won't be long, bella. Don't miss me too much!"

I just scoffed and rolled my eyes, watching Dazai leave the bedroom before staring up at the ceiling. I waited, frown on my face growing deeper as the minutes went by, teeth chewing on my bottom lip nervously.

"Sorry, I went to get some water," Dazai then returned, quickly climbing into bed beside me. Immediately his arms are wrapped around me, holding me tight. "Let's go to sleep."

I smiled up at him, softly pressing a kiss to his lips before I settled against him, closing my eyes. "Goodnight."

Dazai watched me for a second, his lips curling up in an amused, knowing smile. "Goodnight, bella..."

"Ah... this is nerve-wracking..." Keiko mumbled softly, clinging onto my hand as we stepped up to the very familiar tall building. I gulped, nervous since the building was overrun with members of the Port Mafia.

It was the day after that night I spent with Dazai, and instead of being at work, I had received a call from an unknown number. That had turned out to be Chuuya, who ordered me to find Keiko and bring both of our asses to meet him in his office.

Chuuya wasn't just a member of the Port Mafia, but he was an executive, and he held great power. It was almost scary, especially as Keiko and I rode up the escalator to the right floor.

"I wonder what he wants..." Keiko says nervously, biting her lip as we approached the office. We finally made it and I knocked on it five times.

"Come in."

I gulped and we walked inside. Chuuya sat in his desk, and if I wasn't so nervous, I would have been drooling at how fucking fine he looked, sitting with his feet propped on the desk. He gestured to the chairs before his desk lazily. "Sit."

He mostly wanted to talk to Keiko, seeing as she was Taichi's boyfriend and to make sure she didn't tell too much info to the police or "those bastards at the ADA", as he said while shooting me a dirty look. I returned it.

"Of course not," Keiko said softly. "And I wanted to thank you for paying for his funeral. That was nice of you."

Chuuya waved her off. "It wasn't a problem. He was one of my best men." Keiko clenched her fists tightly in her lap as he said that.

"Did you find out anything? We're not having too much luck either," I spoke up, thoughtful look on my face. "Like how can you not find DNA when he was selling the drugs there? There had to have been other people." I looked over at Keiko, missing how Chuuya's eyes went wide before he narrowed them at me.

"It's pissing me off how hard this is," he said rather stiffly, still watching me. "At the end of the day, this might just end up closing as a cold case... but like hell will I forget this." Chuuya clenched his fists, a look of anger and determination on his face. "But we are done here. Well, I'm done with you, Keiko. I still need to speak with her." He was looking right at me.

Keiko gave me a knowing look and a wink and I just playfully shoved her towards the door. "I'll see you later, okay?" I said and she nodded before walking out. Turning back to Chuuya, I watched him get up from his desk. "So what else did you wanna talk about?" I asked, tilting my head as Chuuya walked around the desk and towards me, not answering.

"Um? Hel-mmph!"

Chuuya gripped the back of my neck, pulling me in for a deep, breathtaking kiss. I cupped his face, kissing him back just as deeply. He turned us around so as he walked me backwards with his lips still on mine, I bumped right against his desk, which he sat me on.

"You came in here in this sexy ass dress and expect me not to fuck you?" Chuuya growled, kissing down my neck as his hands moved up my dress. He smirked as he massaged my thighs, quickly finding my knife and removing it. "This is a beautiful knife," he hummed, inspecting it. I smiled softly, weakly reaching to grab it but Chuuya just flicked it, the blade neatly embedding itself right on his desk. "You take great care of it."

"Well, that was my first knife..." I said softly, desperately wanting my knife back, but that went out the window once Chuuya kissed me again.

My legs soon found themselves wrapped around Chuuya's hips. His pants were pushed down just enough to free his cock, my panties pushed to the side as he fucked me right on top of his desk.

"Fuck, dollface, you're even better than I fucking remembered," Chuuya hissed, pushing me on my back, on top of his messy papers. He tossed one of my legs over his shoulder, squeezing his gloved fingers into my flesh as I could only moan and whine in pleasure, his thrusts hitting hard and deep inside me, I was seeing stars.

"S-so much for... only one time, huh," I managed to choke out, my head tossing back as Chuuya hit that one spot. "Oh, fuck!"

"Yeah, shut up and take this cock," Chuuya hissed. His thumb pressed against my clit, and that was enough to have me squeezing him tight as I hit my orgasm, legs shaking and loud cries leaving my mouth.

That got him going and soon, Chuuya was pulling out and I was on my knees, fisting his cock and letting Chuuya cum in my mouth. Chuuya petted my hair, a blissed out look on his face. "Good girl. Now, bend yourself over the desk."

With shaking knees, I got myself up and bent over Chuuya's desk like he ordered, displayed all nice and pretty for him. I looked back over my shoulder, shuddering at how he looked at me, blue eyes full of hunger as he bit on his lower lip. His leather clad hands started to squeeze my ass, moving one hand up until he's pressing on the middle of my back, guiding his cock against my entrance with his other hand.

We borh groaned in pleasure as he started pushing himself in, Chuuya tossing his head back with a hiss. "Fuck, I'll never get tired of this." He starts thrusting his hips, moaning again at the feel of my walls around him. "Fuck, fuck..."

"It's all yours..." I could only babble out, the feel of him stretching me nice and good frying my brain. "Chuuya, please, oh my God..."

After two more soul shattering orgasms, I was finally allowed to leave... if I even could. There was a smug grin on Chuuya's face as he just stared at me. I sat in the chair across from him, the two of us dressed, but he looked like a damn model while I looked like I had a run in with the giant industrial fans they had in elementary school cafeterias during the warmer days.

"Get that dumb look off your face," I whined. "It's not fair. I looked like I got attacked."

Chuuya snickered. "I mean... that's not so far off."

I rolled my eyes. "Ugh, you and Dazai are so unbelievably horny, it's sad."

Chuuya growled. "First off, don't talk about him around me. And second, who was the one begging to titfuck my cock?"

I scoffed, face hot and I turned my nose up at him. "Shut up."

"Just go home."

"Fine. You guys are still cheaters anyway," I said before standing up. I walked over to him, leaning over his desk and I was happy when he met me halfway and gave me a kiss. "Call me again. Maybe when there isn't a weird investigation going on."

Chuuya rolled his eyes, shooing me away. "Just go."

I giggled softly before turning and walking out of the office. Chuuya sighed deeply, opening one of his desk drawers. He stared at the object inside of it for a moment, sighing again before grabbing his pack of cigarettes, taking one and lighting it up before taking a long drag.

-End

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