#// bonding moments as young crows could also be fun.

[luminare]

i get such a burst of muse for lucanis and illario when i read “former antivan crow” in a character bio.

[celiabowens]

Adult SFF edition

High/Epic Fantasy

The Lies of Locke Lamora: heist fantasy following a band of misfits! It has morally gray characters, fun banter but heartwrenching moments and a pretty complex plot. It’s a classic to say “if you liked Six of Crows and want to try adult SFF try this” and it’s probably true. 

Kushiel’s Dart: a political fantasy tome loosely inspired by Europe in the Renaissance. Pretty heavy on romance and erotica (with BDSM elements) as it follows a courtesan navigating the political scene. It has an amazing female villain.

A Darker Shade of Magic: probably the easiest way to approach adult fantasy. It has multiple Londons and a pretty unique magic system and concept, plus a crossdressing thief, knives and great banter. 

The Poppy War: grimdark fantasy (TW: abuse, self harm, rape, drug abuse), inspired by Chinese history. It’s adult, but follows younger MCs and the unique blend of different historical periods/inspirations makes it extremely interesting. The characters are extremely fucked up in the best possible way, plus the use of shamanism is awesome.

The Sword of Kaigen: if you liked The Poppy War you could like this one. The Sword of Kaigen is an Asian-inspired militaristic fantasy, with elemental magic, a badass housewife dealing with her past and hiding a sword in her kitchen’s floor. It has interesting and nuanced family dynamics and a great reflection on propaganda and the use of narratives.

The Priory of the Orange Tree: high fantasy, featuring dragons, a F/F romance and pretty complex world building. The author reuses typical fantasy tropes and roles in a fresh way. Very readable in spite of its length.

Empire of Sand: inspired by Mughal India, this one focuses on culture and religion and has great slow burn romance (TW: abuse, slavery). It’s pretty slow paced, but the payoff is great. Also a good "YA crossover”.

The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms: first book in a companion novel trilogy, following a young woman who finds herself at the center of a vicious political struggle, as she’s suddenly become the heir to the throne. 

Black Sun: first book in a new series by Rebecca Roanhorse, inspired by pre-Columbian societies and cultures. It mainly focuses on religious and political conflicts. TW for abuse, mild body horror and suicide (not very graphic). Nice inclusion of lgbt rep across the whole cast + one of the main characters is blind. Great world building!

Historical Fantasy

The Night Circus: perfect transition from YA to Adult for a reader, The Night Circus is a gorgeous historical fantasy romance. The author’s writing is amazing, the descriptions and the subtlety of the main characters’ relationship are to die for.

The City of Brass: political/historical fantasy tome featuring Middle Eastern mythology. It follows younger MCs (honestly another series that could be a good way to approach adult SFF) and has great character growth throughout the series. The first book has some more trope-y elements, but the payoff is worth it. 

The Golem and The Djinni: historical fantasy (if you loved The Night Circus you could like this one), following two mythical creatures as they navigate New York in 1899. Slow burn romance, rich descriptions, fascinating combination of Jewish and Syrian folklore.

Gods of Jade and Shadow: a fantasy bildungsroman set in Mexico during the Jazz age. Another great way to approach adult SFF as it follows a young girl on a life changing adventure. It features Mayan mythology and a god slowly becoming human.

The Ghost Bride: set in Malaya in 1893, it follows the daughter of a ruined man as she receives the proposal to become a ghost bride. Lovely setting, rich in culture and extremely atmospheric.

The Bear and The Nightingale: a coming of age story inspired by Russian folklore. Another great way to start reading adult SFF: it’s very atmospheric and fairy tale-like. Also frost demons are better than men.

Queen of the Conquered: first book in a fantasy duology(?) set in an alternate version of the Caribbean at the time of Scandinavian colonisation. It follows Sigourney, a biracial woman (her mother was a slave, freed by her father) and the only islander who is allowed to own and use kraft and therefore has a position of privilege, which she constantly abuses, while telling herself she’s doing it for the islanders’ benefit. The book is hard to read, because the MC is no hero and her POV can be quite challenging to get through, but if you’re up for it I’d totally recommend this. (TW: slavery, abuse, death).

The Lions of Al-Rassan: this one has minimal fantasy elements, much like other Kay books, as it reads more like an alternate history. Using Moorish Spain as a template, it deals with the conflict between Jews, Muslims and Christians. Much like Under Heaven and most of his historical fantasy it shows common people being swept up in dramatic events. 

Urban Fantasy

The Divine Cities trilogy: starting with City of Stairs, it follows a female diplomat and spymaster(!!). The whole trilogy features an interesting discussion about godhood, religion, fanatism, politics, without ever being boring or preachy. It has complex and rich world building and a pretty compelling mystery.

Foundryside: heist fantasy following a thief as she’s hired to steal a powerful artifact that may change magical technology as she knows it. Also, slow burn F/F romance.

Jade City:  a wuxia inspired, gangster urban fantasy. Great family dynamics, very interesting political and economical subplots. 

One for My Enemy: sort of a modern Romeo and Juliet, but set in New York, starring two magical gangster families. The female characters are to die for.  

Trail of Lightning: inspired by Native mythology and the idea of subsequent worlds. It has a kickass MC and a good mix of original elements and typical UF tropes. You could like this if you liked the Kate Daniels series.

American Gods: a classic of the genre, pretty much brilliant in how it reuses old mythology in a modern setting.

Retellings

Spinning Silver: a very loose retelling of Rumpelstiltskin, with a gorgeous atmosphere. It mainly follows female characters from different social and economical backgrounds and reuses the original tale to challenge the antisemitic ideas around the role of the moneylander.

The Queens of Innis Lear: fantasy retelling of King Lear, very atmospheric and gorgeously written. Slow paced, but very satisfying build up, lots of backstabbing and miscommunication. (heads up though, one of the MCs is coded as aroace and I found the rep pretty bad on that. The book does feature casual bisexual rep though, which was great)

Lady Hotspur: genderbent retelling of Henry IV, set in the same world as The Queens of Innis Lear. Lesbian and bisexual rep. Heavy on political subplots, features ambitious women growing into their roles.

Deathless: sort of a retelling of Koschei the Deathless set in the first half of the 20th century. Brilliant reuse of Russian folklore to weave together politics and history. It does have pretty brutal descriptions of war, morally gray characters, unhealthy relationships and overall a lot of mindfuckery.

Space Opera

A Memory Called Empire: space opera inspired by the Mexica and middle period Byzantium. It focuses on topics like colonialism and the power of narratives and language. It has one of the best descriptions of what it’s like to live in between spaces I’ve ever read. Also very interesting political intrigue and has a slow burn F/F romance (and a poly relationship recalled through flashbacks).

Ninefox Gambit: a Korean-inspired space opera with a magic system based on math. It’s honestly quite convoluted and difficult to follow, but it also features some of the best political intrigue I’ve ever read. Plenty of lying, backstabbing and mind games. It also features lesbian and bisexual rep and an aroace side character (TW: mass shooting, sexual assault).

The Light Brigade: militaristic space opera set in a not-so-defined future in which corporations rule Earth and space in general. The book follows a newly enlisted soldier as they go through gruelling training and experience the side effects of being broken down into atoms to travel at the speed of light. It’s a heavy book, featuring raw descriptions of war, and quite difficult to follow (non-linear timelines...) but it’s also an amazing critique of capitalism and political propaganda (TW: death, mass shooting).

Gideon the Ninth: pretty much lesbian necromancers in space. Very loose world building, but a fun mystery full of banter. Can be quite confusing in the beginning, but a relatively easy and fun way to approach science fiction.

The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet: character driven space opera featuring a found family journeying through space. A fun read, that also deals with topics such as sexuality and race. Quite easy to go through, as the world building and plot aren’t particularly complex themselves. Also features a F/F romance. 

Science Fiction-Fantasy that I can’t fit anywhere else

Vicious: college roommates put themselves through near-death experiences to obtain super powers, only everything goes wrong. Follows a great band of misfits (and pretty much everyone is morally gray).

Middlegame: a brilliant and complex tapestry of alternate timelines, following telepathically connected twins trying to escape the alchemist that wants to use them to obtain godhood (TW: attempted suicide).

Piranesi: the long awaited return of Susanna Clarke, Piranesi is an odd, mysterious book set in a house with infinite rooms and endless corridors, apparently inhabited by only two people. 

Bonus Novella recs: novellas are amazing and don’t sleep on them!

The Empress of Salt and Fortune: an Asian-inspired fantasy novella, it gives a voice to people usually silenced by history. It follows a cleric (non binary rep) as they chronicle the story of the late empress, retold through objects that she used in her life. It focuses on bonds between women and the power that lies in being unnoticed.  

The Black God’s Drums: an urban fantasy novella, based on Orisha mythology and set in an alternate, sort of steampunk, New Orleans. 

The Haunting of Tram Car 015: alternate steampunk Cairo populated by supernatural entities. It has a compelling mystery, starring a great lead.

This Is How You Lose the Time War: epistolary set during a time-travel war, F/F romance and gorgeous prose. 

The Citadel of Weeping Pearls: a novella set in the Xuya universe (a series of novellas/short stories set in a timeline where Asia became dominant, and where the space age has empires of Vietnamese and Chinese inspiration), but can be read as a standalone. It’s a space opera featuring a disappeared citadel and the complex relationship between the empress and her daughter as war threatens her empire.

To Be Taught, If Fortunate: an incredibly heartwarming and yet meaningful novella about research and the meaning of it. It’s the tale of 4 astronauts on a crowdfunded mission to explore space, to observe and report without conquering. It’s written in lovely prose and is very casual in its lgbt rep.

The Deep: very good novella set in an underwater society built by the descendants of African slave women that were tossed overboard. It’s not an easy read at all, as it deals with trauma, both personal and generational ones. 

Bonus short story collections recs

A Cathedral of Myth and Bone: 16 short stories featuring myth, legend and faith, that mainly focus on women reclaiming their agency. 

The Paper Menageries and Other Stories: features plenty of different fantasy and science fiction subgenres. The Paper Menagerie in particular is an extremely moving tale.

Conservation of Shadows: science fiction-fantasy short stories that focus on topics like colonisation and the role of art and language. 

Graphic Novel

Monstress: series set in an alt 1900s matriarchal Asia, following a teenage girl who survived a war and shares a connection with a monster that’s slowly transforming her. (TW: slavery, death).

[slow-burn-sally]

I watched Say Anything last night for the first time in many years, and I was so so impressed with it. I’ve always loved that movie, but I thought maybe it might not have aged well. It came out in 1989, and 80s movies have a tendency toward cheese. 

I was pleasantly surprised to find that it still kicks all sorts of rom-com ass. 

I feel like this was largely due to Cameron Crowe doing an amazing job at portraying a far more realistic teenage experience than most rom-coms do. And of course the cast was phenomenal.

His protagonist, Lloyd Dobler (John Cusack) isn’t a handsome jock, nor is he a nerd. But he is into sports (kickboxing! The sport of the future!). He’s also into music, and has an awesome mix of not having any real dating game, but being the sort of likable guy everyone knows, and has an awkward sort of charm. 

He lives with his sister (Joan Cusack, his actual sister), and her small son, and they have a very realistic relationship. Part genuinely fond, partly extremely irritated with each other. 

His best friends are all girls, and unlike in films like My Best Friend’s Wedding, or Some Kind of Wonderful, they don’t actually fall in love with him or step into the role of love interest. They’re just his buds. And they have relatively well fleshed out characters. Especially Lily Taylor who does a fantastic job as that one friend who’s obsessed with the guy who’s no good for her. 

Diane Court (Ione Skye), the actual love interest is very academic, but also just stunningly pretty. She’s not your typical, vapid cool girl that Lloyd has to try and impress by being some sort of “bad ass”. She’s relatively introverted and focused on her studies, but she’s also gorgeous, so there’s none of that “smart girls have to wear glasses and have bad hair” trope, which, while it’s fun, could honestly use a break. Smart girls look like all kinds of people. And speaking of smart girls, she’s far more intelligent book-wise than Lloyd, and instead of resenting this, or being overly intimidated, he is unstoppably impressed and proud and supportive of her smarts.

Diane’s relationship with her father (John Mahoney) who raised her, is complex and has a lot of emotional depth. Rather than just going for the “mom died of cancer/in a car accident etc.” trope, they simply had her choose in court to live with her father. “It just felt safer,” her character says. This is pretty rare in cinema. The acknowledgment that sometimes, when a couple separates, it’s the dad who’s the best suited as a full time caregiver, and that impressed me. 

Diane’s relationship with her father takes an almost equal center stage spot next to her relationship with Lloyd, and the titular line is spoken not to Lloyd, as one would expect, but to her dad. “You can say anything to me!” she exclaims to him during a tense moment.  They clearly share a deep bond, and it takes some heart-wrenching twists as the movie progresses and we learn that her father has been involved in some shady financial dealings.

Diane herself, while stunningly beautiful, sweet and kind to boot, has her own issues and her own complex characterization. She’s torn between her conflicting duties to her father, her boyfriend and her advancing academic career and she struggles convincingly with all three as the movie progresses.

I even hesitate to call this film a rom-com. Maybe because where there some genuine laughs, there’s also a lot of drama and deep emotion portrayed, and not just for the usual reasons. There’s themes about family, duty and obligation, the fear of life after high school, and dating pressures that are just so poignantly rendered as the main characters fumble their way through the plot. 

I just adored it and would recommend it to any newcomer, or people too young to have been introduced to it by friends or older siblings. It’s more than just a Peter Gabriel song and a boy, dramatically holding a boom box over his head to serenade a girl. It’s really so much more than that. 

[katsukikitten]

♡ last but not least - 1k words comments welcome

You twirl in the mirror twice, checking your reflecting before smoothing down your casual, yet somewhat dressy buffalo plaid dress. Debating if you should change. 

Again. 

For the fifth time. 

Your boyfriend watches from the door jamb sighing as he pushes himself off the frame. Gliding into the reflective glass he stand tall behind you, his red hair relaxed as he's pulled it back into a little bun. He pulls you by your hips to him as he nuzzles your neck with his nose, your perfume tickles his nose and he inhales deeply. 

"Ready to go?" He purrs and you shrug, biting at your lipstick clad lip. 

"I don't know, is this too casual? Too dressy? Should I wear jeans? You're in jeans but also a button down shirt…" You look at his outfit, black jeans and a buffalo plaid button up that matches. The thought unintentional. He sighs letting his ruby eyes fall over your gorgeous frame. 

"Baby, I promise you they'll love you. They won't care what you wear or how you look, they only care about how you make me feel." He kisses the rapid pulse in your throat swaying you on your feet, "And baby you make me feel good." 

You relax into his touch, swaying in time with his feet. 

"Yea,okay." You agree to probably the most agreeable man in the world. His eyes light up soothing some of your nervousness. 

But not all of it and it returns full force as he pulls up to his old childhood home. 

"Baby." You grab onto his hand, squeezing his fingers with all of your might. He brings your hand to his lips, a chaste kiss on your knuckles just before he speaks. 

"Just smile baby, that's all it will take for them to fall in love with you. That's all it took for me." His words make your heart flutter, he exits the car when he sees you've calmed down. Opening the passenger side door for you, offering his hand for help that you gladly take. The street is quiet, the snow falling silently to rest on the tops of warm homes and bare outstretched branches. 

It is a stark difference to the volume of the home that can be heard through the wreath clad door. Kirishima offers a shy sharp toothed smile. 

"I told you we're a loud family." He grabs for the door knob, "You ready?" 

"As ready as I'll ever be." Sweat collects on your brow as he opens the door, stepping out of his shoes as you follow suit. He isn't given much time before his mother hears the door, rushing into the foyer with excitement. She gasps loudly as she takes in the sight of her strong son. 

"My baby Eijirou!" She exclaims coming closer to cup his cheeks, she dots on him for a moment. 

"Hey momma." He kisses her on the cheek before her thin hands move to you, cupping your face gently, "You must be the girlfriend I've heard so much about. Kamisama your smile is so bright!" 

"He-hello ma'am." She gives you a pointed look before dropping your face to grab at your hands. 

"It's okaasan. Now come, come. You have the whole family to meet." She pulls you with ease to the rest of the party while you give Kirishima a panicked look over your shoulder. All he can do is shrug his as he follows closely behind. 

"Everyone look! It's baby Eijirou's girlfriend we've all heard such good things about!" She introduces you and the crowd of family shouts back a warm hello, "It's a pleasure to finally have you here. Please make yourself at home." 

She squeezes your hand before stepping closer to her son to give him a long hug before disappearing into the kitchen. Kirishima grabs your hand and introduces you individually to well over twenty people making your anxiety skyrocket as you try your best to remember their names. 

"And this is Sobo." He says, bringing you to a woman who hardly looked to be a grandmother. You bow your head and she laughs in response. 

"So formal among family." She says softly, patting the chair beside her. You slip into the chair with ease, "Eji, dear get us something to drink while we talk?" 

Your eyes grow wide, pleading for him not to leave the two of you alone, he offers a soft smile before saying. 

"I'll be right back Sobo." And with that he turns on his heel, leaving the two of you tucked away in the corner of the large room to look over the family. Kirishima is stopped on his way to the kitchen more times than you can count as you wait for the shoe to drop. 

This was it, this was where you would get the talk of how Kirishima was too good for you and that the sooner you left him the better. She opens her mouth to speak and you grind your teeth. 

"What is it about my grandson that you love?" She turns to you, ruby red eyes glistening beneath the twinkling lights. Silence envelops your small corner as the smell of food wafts your way. Swallowing thickly you speak the truth. 

"He is kind, it is almost otherworldly. He is strong, brave and never afraid to show emotion or to be vulnerable. He is a man who was raised well and I love him for him." It all slips out as you watch him laugh with his cousins, a smile that you always wear when you gaze at him. 

Sobo watches you, your eyes, your demeanor and when she knows the words you speak are true. She smiles herself. 

"Let me show you something." She says softly, pulling at a book on the nearby bookshelf. She settles back into her chair setting it on the dark wood table. She flips the cover open and points at the first black and white picture of a handsome man with long dark hair. 

"This was my husband and I loved him dearly. Eijirou reminds me a lot of him, so you can see he is precious to me." She begins, her frail finger pointing out their wedding photo next, "I need to know he will be loved and safe. If I could keep him from ever knowing pain I would." 

You nod in agreement wanting nothing more than to keep your man pure of heart and pain free. 

"But life doesn't work that way. In all my years I've learned that the hard way." She flips the pages again, as you watch her belly swell with each image, her family growing before your eyes. Finally she flips to her children's children, all or them amassed or spread across the pages. You are a young Kirishima with black hair in a still frame. 

"So I must trust in the people he surrounds himself with. People can say things but never mean it. His close friend Bakugou is a great example. He is harsh and pigheaded but I know he would protect my grandson with his life." She sighs looking over the photos as you glance at her face. She smiles meeting your eyes, "I'd like to thank I can put my trust into you as well." 

She leaves no room for you to respond before she flips a few pages back, telling stories of each captured moment.

Kirishima finally makes it to the kitchen after spending a half an hour trying to keep his talking to a minimum. But he couldn't blame his family it had been months since he had seen most of them and besides it's not as if Sobo would say anything rude to you even if she somehow disapproved of you. He pours a cup of tea and a mixed drink for you. Gently pushing his way through the crowd with the drinks as an excuse not to linger. 

Finally the two of you come into view and he freezes in his tracks. The first thing he sees is the frayed edges of the book. The family album spread open before you as Sobo shares the treasured memories. 

Tears form in his eyes as he watches the scene unfold in disbelief. Of all his girlfriends he is glad Sobo has bonded with you. The others were only tolerated and even the one he brought multiple years in a row never even knew of the family album. But there you sat, smiling, laughing with Sobo who's crows feet giving her a certain type of magic. He sighs, holding the breath he didn't even know he was holding. Walking towards two women that held his heart. 

"You ladies having fun?" He asks, setting down the glasses as he looks over Sobo's shoulder. 

"Eijirou, I think you should let your black hair come back! Look at how cute you were!" You exclaim pointing to an old photo. He cannot help but smile, fingers absentmindedly feeling at his strands. Sobo looks up at him while you gush over the album pulling her attention back with more questions. Sobo secretly grabs for Kirishima's hand and slips something small and cool into his palm. 

When he pulls his hand away he notices the old small ring biting his lip to keep his tears in. 

Not that he needed his grandmother's approval for what he was already planning to do in the new year but it was definitely a relief to have. He smiles down at the women clothing the old ruby ring in his hand as he fights to keep his voice even. 

"I'll leave you two to your fun. I'm sure we'll make memories for the album soon enough"

[illyrian-lover-flower]

Crow of hope

Hey @duneska​ I want to wish you a Happy and full of delight filled Birthday, you truly deserve it 😊.

You have become a wonderful friend over the little time I knew you and you just brightened up my whole day with even the littlest message. The conversations we had were always so bright and funny to me, and I just bonded with you over similarities I always believed no one would get.

But I am so glad I was wrong and I was able to form this friendship with you, you were after all one of the persons who brightened up my tumblr experience the most. 

And like I said, you brightened up my day with even the littlest message.

I hope I could also brighten your day a bit and wish you a lot of fun with this piece I’ve written.

It might not be your taste as it is rather angsty at the beginning, but I’ll promise there is a lot of fluff making up for it. Something I also want to apologise in advance for is that it turned out soo long, but when I tried to shorten it - I just wasn’t happy with it. So buckle up and enjoy this fic with a well deserved piece of cake 😊

However, I have brabbled enough - enjoy your Birthday present and your B-day😊

Words: ~8.5k

„Alright, put the daffodils right there – yes, to the Dahlias.” Commanded Elain in a soft voice as fae of all kinds bustled around the grand hall – her voice a drowned-out whisper in all the other murmurs which echoed off the sleek white walls. Bustling skirts, hurried steps, exhausted breaths, and small conversations all around her lithe body, while everyone -female, male, old and young – worked together to make their High Lady proud.

No one knew that it wasn’t their priced High Lady who organized all this; the flowers, the decoration, the cluttery – it was all chosen by Elain, though the main idea really came from Feyre and perhaps that was all that mattered, but right now there was no time to frown at that.

Tables were still in the need to be placed by the walls, so everyone could dance to their hearts content in the middle of the great hall with tapered ceilings, the last bits of food needed preparation and mostly had the decoration to be finished -the colours a special order from Feyre herself when she had approached Elain two weeks ago. Telling her sister in a rushed afternoon, which the seer spent working in her greenhouse, that she would love to have an garland of flowers – rowed in the colours of the rainbow – stretching all over the room.

Considering the fact that the hall was at least thrice the size of the river Estates living room and mid-January – it was a miracle that there were even that many flowers available in Velaris. Many florists had given their last flowers to the charity event of the High Lady, once Elain’s begging voice whispered through their ears, having to close for the next couple of days as they had no other arrangements to put on display, but no one of the shop owners seemed to care.

And honestly, Elain didn’t either -having put the blooming part of her spacious greenhouse to good use – as the last flowers were braided into a river of poinsettias, orange Dahlias, daffodils, Jasmines, light blue Delphiniums and many, many more. If the seer was truly truthful, were it a bit too varying shades of colours to her, as they nearly seemed to jump into one’s eye, but who was she to care. Feyre was the artist who wished to paint this dull hall into a sea of happiness and surely knew what she was doing – hopefully.

Thought Elain while her delicate hands smoothed over the sea of flowers, a coughing fit crawling from her throat the moment all those different smells hit her flaring nose thrills – giving her already a headache – while she ordered for the garland to be pulled up.

“It’s just … magnificent.” Breathed Feyre next to Elain, a swirling cloud of dark chiffon skirts swaying to her feet, as she watched how the rainbow expanded over their heads in a bow, like a real rainbow. “It sure is.” Coughed Elain, while she tried to hide her coughing fit and tearing eyes behind the back of her hand – this was just too much for her nose!

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay till the party starts? You know, my students keep nagging me to bring my pretty sister back to the art lessons.” Mocked her carefree voice the tearing seer, who just shook her head – to more she wasn’t able anyway as Feyre already rushed off to Rhysand, who strode into the grand hall as if it was a catwalk, together with Nyx on his hip. Smiling sadly to herself did the seer shake her head and avoided to gaze at the happy family, safe, together and alive – unlike many other families who had fallen victim to the war.

The cold luring song of death pulling all those warriors and innocent fae away from their loved ones. This evening was for those loved ones, who stayed in the charts and rubble of a past life. This evening was supposed to be  giving them  hope – hope of a healed life as they were to laugh to their hearts content again. And Elain should have been happy for Feyre and Rhys – is happy for them – but somehow this was never all she felt, somehow there was this pinch. Twisting and stabbing her guts whenever she thought of all of the happiness, the freedom – all which she denied herself and did not dare to believe in anymore, as it was taken from her. Her freedom – her choice. Given to a male she nearly did not change a word with and did not even whish to have a bond with as her happiness vanished in the puff of a stary night as a ravenous voice declared to her: ‘It was a mistake.’

Never would she forget those words. Never would she ever be able to hear them from him again -whispered, yelled, breathed, or just told in a voice as cold as a grave – as no matter how, they would always be her end. Always send her heart bleeding in a flood of scarlet red while her eyes cried the river of a thousand seas binding together.

But it was no use- mourning after someone she was not supposed to be with. After all immortality awaited her and right now were the things on her mind far more important than a male – no matter how charming, generous, kind, patient and good looking he was. Elain tried to shake her head at those silly thoughts, her bleeding-heart wandering in a mine of salt with them, as her golden locks flew around her like a spinning skirt of the finest silk twirling under the glimmering lights of a chandelier. Sparkling and sprinkling as if a thousand stars lived in those heavy strands of hair. But those stars would not shine, would not rise as she hurried with silent steps away from the last preparations.

Past a happily laughing Rhys and Feyre as they listened to Nyx blabbering and let her pass without a second glance into the dull hallway.

‘She forgot!’

‘Of course, she forgot!’

Raged her mind while she waltzed over the marble in a barrel of sky blue chiffon skirts; ‘Why would she remember?’ , asked her heart her, this traitorous head of hers silently answering her ‘She has many things swirling in her head right now, she just forgot this year – there are millennia’s to come, don’t be too hard on her.’

Lie! Screamed her shattered heart, as tears dreaded to fall from her doe eyes, waiting like brave sailors at a plank end for the final push of the captain, while her delicate hands gathered the soft material of a dainty blue chiffon. But this last push never came.

The words in her head and memory those of a salt dipped dagger, but she did not cry, did not bend as her cruel heart sang to her, that her sister had not only forgotten this years Birthday, but the one of last year and the one before that and even before that.

Feyre forgot Elain’s birthday for the fourth time in a row and if things were going to continue like they were now, her younger sister would surely wonder in a century, if Elain was truly born or just popped out of a seed on some nameless day. Though Nesta was not of much difference, her number of rows only a three, while her pretendence of knowing her beloved gardener sister hurt just as much as Feyres.

Both seeming to know what was best for her.

Both seeming to know that a rainbow would wait to be spotted in her life – funny thing was just, that instead of letting her watch out for the numerous colours painted in her fate, did those two stand in front of her. Clouding her vision and senses with their good believed thoughts as they were ready to fight for this miraculous happiness of hers with a shield, dagger and sword, and bow and arrow. Never letting anyone past them, as they watched out for her, believing that this suffocating grip they had on her heart was something non-existent.

But they didn’t know that she felt about them this way, after all – Elain never really spoke a word of discomfort to them, never truly. All that spoke for her was her body – lithe a pale swaying from time to time under the glowing sun, whilst her last meal had been days ago. A peaceful sleep seemingly something which mocked her from a century long distance as it escaped her over and over again.

But no one noticed -except for Nuala and Cerridwen, who tried to nurse the delicate fawn silently back to health with heart sweetening friendship and occasional baking lessons, in which they all ate the results after wards.

Though did another name occur in her mind, as she raced through the long, sleek corridors and farther away from the shining stomach of the bustling manor. Grabbing her lilac cloak in a hurried way, while she repeated that same name over and over again in her head. The smile she wore stretching itself impossibly wider on her lips the more often she thought of him and his dazzling smile. Him and his gleaming eyes and sun lightening laughter.

And it were those thoughts which made her rushed walk to her home so much lighter, almost jumping from one step to the other as she hurried past chatting fae on the cobbled street. Only noticing with a distant consciousness that each house she passed grew darker and darker. Colour fading, whilst walls crumbled under the broken roofs.

Her nose didn’t even scrunch up at the rotten smell which wafted through the air, unlike she had done before, because she knew -just knew- that this was a familiar scent. One which would come without suffocating sisters, one which would come without an always smiling gardener but one which would come with a light sweet hearted boy, who lived among greys and browns.

Only a few houses stood crumbled, but proud, under the sinking sun of the night court. Rags and hastily put-up tents dominating the dark paths far in the outskirts of Velaris. Though some did not want to acknowledge that they were still part of this shining city, feeling out of place and unheard, whilst the high fae and lesser fae lived in glorious peace with their High Lord and Lady, who believed to have restored houses and families of their city. The healing of the peoples hearts a process which started long ago. The charity ball of Feyre was a part of this process too.

Her cheery and optimistic self, which also understood the pain and grief of the fae, made them all come together for those in need -mostly for those at the rainbow. Little did one of them know that those who needed the help the most, suffered in silence under ruins, and decayed bodies of their loved ones. Skeletons of delicate fae females, bulky males, Illyrians and even children resting in dreading ivory colour among crumbled walls and roofs.

Fortunately, he was not one of them, luckily, he was brave enough to get a hold of her skirt one fateful day on which she got lost. Mortified by the skeletons, ruins and death singing streets, did her heart nearly leap out of her chest once this little hand brought her to a halt. This traitorous muscle already readying her to meet the empty eye sockets of a dead being. But those eyes glittering and shimmering like a mountain lake at her were pretty much the liveliest she had ever seen. Specks of brown and green swimming in those eyes of his, that one could think they were fishes enjoying the warm presence of him.

Just like Elain would do now, as she reached a small house. A cracked door -rotten and hanging off on one hinge- was all which kept her from seeing him again. Eager to see his blinding smile, did she knock three times: one short and two long, just like she had told him.

“Elain!” squeaked his voice already from the inside, as he hurried to haul the door open. The seer could only smile at the little boy standing in front of her with this dazzling grin – one of his front incisors gone. “Hey Amel! Would you let me in?” “Of course!” beamed the boy and crushed the seer into a warm hug once she closed the door behind her. “What did I miss while I was gone?” spoke her voice softly, once she had picked him up and carried him towards the rag of a couch only a few steps away. His little wings twitching up for the shortest of moments, when she accidentally brushed the base of his wings with a slightly calloused hand. “Nothing much.”, mumbled Amels voice into her shoulder, “though I did miss you. Does that count?” Elain giggled at his hopeful eyes and could only plop his little nose; “Of course it does! I missed you too after all.”

Amel nuzzled into her at those sweet words and enjoyed her warmth like a giant cat, which curled up on the seers chest. Though he did not purr, but did the boy fold his wings neatly back in – almost as if he were ready to fall asleep.

“I have a surprise for you!” spoke up the little Illyrian in a rush, once Elain sat on the slightly mushy pillows of the couch, as if he had just remembered the surprise himself rather than to tell Elain. “And which one is that?” But she did not even receive an answer, as the little Illyrian had long scurried to the kitchenette in the back of the giant room, in which next to the sofa and a kitchenette stood an old table, with two chairs, accompanied by an old cask, which worked as a bathtub and an ancient fireplace. The in grey stone set cleft gaping at her, whilst the heavy stones crumbled, but the important parts of the old fireplace were still intact. The empty blackness reminding her that she had to feed it with wood and light them up in order to have some warmth in the perforated house.

Kneeling in front of the ancient fireplace did she fed log for log and lit the stack of wood with cold shaken fingers up, silently listening how Amel dragged a chair over to the kitchenette and climbed on top of it.

It were mere minutes which the seer had spend here, yet had the sun sunken that low already, that the stars begun their twinkling evening dance atop of their heads – bringing chilly January coldness with them, that let her breath fog. And that was the sign for Elain to start the nightly preparations with a whistling wind around her shaking shoulders, picking up various piles of blankets, while Amel still bustled around in the rotten kitchen cabins.

Blanket after blanket were strained atop of the clumsily, over the holes nailed wood. Blocking out any roaring sound of cold gusts and any light. And whilst the seer put the last blanket over the gaping slit of the broken door, did Amel sit down eagerly on the couch. “Come on, Elain! You are going to miss your surprise!” She smiled then, nailing the last blanket for today against the old wood and strode over towards the young boy with two thick wool blankets in her hand.

Once she sat down on the slightly warmed pillows, did Amel pull something to the front, from behind his back, the happiest smile he ever wore stretched on his thin lips: “Happy Birthday, Elain!” Exclaimed his cheery voice and let her gaze on a plain little muffin, which was topped with a half burned Birthday candle. “You shouldn’t have, Amel.” Whispered the seer as tears welled up in her eyes and hugged him with all her blazing heart.

She had only mentioned the day of her Birthday once, in a bedtime story she told him, and here he was – this young soul, full of happiness despite all his pain, who presented her a sweet little muffin as if it was a great Birthday cake. And it was, for her it was everything she ever asked for. Elain did not need any gowns or jewellery on her Birthday as presents, she just wanted a soul which remembered her.

And Amel was together with Nuala and Cerridwen the only souls which truly remembered her. Perhaps Azriel remembered the date too, but after the Solstice a few weeks ago it was probably clear that he would not wish to speak his congratulations to her, after all – she was a mistake. One he was likely to never do again, as he seemed to avoid her like the plague – only letting her catch one accidental glance at him while he admired the work in her Greenhouse from afar.

“You have to blow out the candle!” cheered Amel. Though did his eyebrows raise once Elain told with a slightly stern voice, that he was the one to eat the muffin. “I already ate lots of cake Amel, one more bite and I’ll explode!” joked the seer, but the Illyrians wings only lowered itself down on the brown pillows “I knew it is not good enough…” “It is, Amel. This is all I could ever ask for and I bet it tastes delicious,” Elain rested her cold hands over those of the little Illyrian, cupping the muffin together with him “but you need to eat more than me. You are still growing.” He nodded at that and let the seer blow out the striped candle.

She did not have a wish then, but after Amel devoured the baked good and went to take a bath with her, did he ask her sleepily “What did you wish for?” Elain tugged the blankets around them impossibly closer, a cocoon of warmth, “I can’t tell you; it won’t come true otherwise.” “Pleaseee…” “Alright.” Chuckled Elain at the Illyrian, whose wet black hair stuck out as if it were hedgehog spikes and leaned down to him: “I wished for your Mama and Papa to come home and that you three live in a cute little hut together.” “Without you?” “I’ll come by to visit – verry often.” spoke Elain once she saw his sad blue eyes, that lit up the moment she announced her regular visits.

It made her smile, when Amel cuddled closer into the pillows of the large couch and into her warm side, his arms and wings sleepily drabbed over her while he tried, even in his sleep, to protect her and hold her close to him. Elain could only draw calming circles over his wet hair, as she too pulled his little body closer. The sad awareness of her lie chuckling behind the sofa leans at her.

She knew that Amels parents were to never return. Their broken bodies one of the first she had found and buried, after she decided to come and help those who needed it. Fae of all kind had helped her burry those which did not survive the Hybern attack and had taken her advice on going into the starlight kissed city. Only this little boy stayed.

She had met him the week after she buried the winged female and in rind covered male, the descriptions he made to her sending chills down her spine as she realized that he was the child of those two lovers. An orphan now – though did he not know it, as he eagerly waited for his parents to come home after their grocery shopping and Elain did not have the heart to tell him of his parents passing. The only thing she had told him, was that they were asleep and that for a verry, verry long time – forever-she had told.

But Amel did not understand the meaning of those words and simply waited for his parents, in their house, to wake up and get him back. Elain couldn’t count the times she had asked the boy to come with her anymore. His reason of stay always the same – “Mama and Papa won’t find me, if I’ll leave.” And so, all she could do was visit him, as often as she could and if one considered that her presence at the river estate was barely acknowledged, did she spend almost all her time here. The only ones which knew about her whereabouts were Nuala and Cerridwen, who occasionally send her with a basket ‘into town’ to get something for them, if Feyre ever asked. Though did the basket never come back filled – it was always empty. The smuggled loaves of bread and wheels of cheese always staying at the little hut together with Amel, who had fallen soundly asleep next to her.

His little snores pulling her under too, whilst wind and darkness raged outside and slowly let the fire die down.

A heavy knock on the door was what pulled them awake. Sleep mused and dry did the Illyrian boy and Elain look at each other and waited for another knock, which followed soon. The seer already wanted to go and check the door herself as Amel only hurried past her, to haul the door open again. Letting her poke the dying ember glimmers in the ashes awake.

And then he just stood there at the door, wings dropped and mouth wide in amazement, did the boy not even shiver when coldness cloaked his in rags covered body. “Who is it, Amel?” shouted Elain from the fireplace, as her eyebrows furrowed together. At this time of day no one had any business to attend here. The worry she felt overtaking her once no one answered her. And as she saw the one standing on the other side of the threshold, did she nearly lose the black fire poker in her hands. Shock, delight, and pain all suddenly exploding and chasing around in her heart.

Amel only took her free hand, once he saw her frozen face – widened eyes and a slightly parted lips. “He looks like the one you always describe in my bedtime stories.” Stated his happy voice in a hushed tone, as if he feared the person at the threshold – chunky as a cupboard – was just a ghost. He was certainly not the only one believing that, as Elain herself could not process the picture in front of her.

Azriel stood there, in flesh and blood, with a heavy breath fogging the air as his murky coat and wind mussed mass of dark hair stood black against the stary night. At first glance one could believe he was one with the darkness, but at second glance one saw the broad shoulders, tugged in wings and tousled hair standing darker than the shadows against the sky. A silhouette painted in the depths of a night blooming sky in one of Feyres paintings.

And he was just that, a painting whose face lit it up in a golden hue with surprise once he saw the little Illyrian hauling the door open with his yet dainty fingers, now clutching to the seers hand. His breath halting the moment he saw her -just like hers had flogged itself away in her chest once she saw his eyes again. Dulled and almost entirely hazel, the specks of grey and green which she had spotted over a year ago, nearly gone as they seemed to hide away from pain and hurt.

“Elain.” Tore her his ravenous voice away from his empty eyes. She felt shocked, to say the least as they were always warm and seemed to sing of companionship and appreciation whenever her gaze wandered into them, but now there was nothing – just a murky sea of hazel, empty and without a feeling. “Can I come in?” “Of course!” chirped Amel before she could even lift her tongue for an answer. Sending the boy a stern look -accompanied by a suppressed smile – when he left her delicate hand and placed his little palm against Azriels large one, dragging a stumbling Shadowsinger into the little hut, as they left the seer to close the door.

Elain could only smile and shake her head, once she saw how the two took their seats on the coach, a strong wind- piercing and shivering- flickered through the rotten walls and send the fire dancing, whilst the seer merely shook at the gust. Hazily closing the door after this howling bite reminded her of the gaping opening in the wall.

“Are you really the Shadowsinger?” whispered Amel at the gigantic male by his side, as if he were afraid to accidently summon an ancient creature. “I am.” Azriel inclided his head, “At your service little lord … .” “Amel.” The Shadowsinger send a rare grin to the boy and repeated his name, which set the Illyrian giggling “But I am no Lord!”

“Really? But I thought you had the heart of one.” Mused Elain as she stepped back to the two again, her arms loaden with wood and those delicate shoulders covered in a sheet of wool. Amel watched her with raised eyebrows feed the fireplace. “How do you know one has the heart of a lord?”

“Well, that’s easy.” Smiled the seer to herself once she sat down with the two curious males. Amel a small curious bundle of wings between her and Azriel – watching her with the same curious stare as the Shadowsinger. “A lord is one of a noble kind, though I do not mean the kind of nobility you are born with. I mean a kind of nobility you grow over time, one which is not defined by money or jewels, but by the weight of the heart and one’s decisions.” Whispered her small voice at him and poked the spot above his heart with a teasing finger. “A lord is -for me- not someone born with the claim of a throne or a higher stance in society, only minding his own business and his alone. A Lord is someone who is kind and generous, with a heart as bright and pure as the sun.” And somehow her gaze wandered over the ash black locks on Amels head and into the curious eyes of the Shadowsinger.

Specks of life and colour returning to these irises in green streaks once her words had settled into his heart. A shy smile stretching on her lips after she had spotted the faint blush in his cheeks, under the glowing light of fire.  

Amel only hummed at the words. “So does that mean I am a Lord?” “To me, yes!” smiled Elain at the boy and wrapped him into the wool blanket beside him. Afraid that the wind which rattled at the planks and blankets would bite into his warmed body. Tucking him away with a careful hand and slowly pushing him down on the spacious couch. “Come on, Amel, it is time for bed.” “But I don’t wanna go to bed! We have a visitor!” Protested the young boy with an uprising of his wings and voice.

Making the Shadowsinger uncomfortable as he was brought into the argument. “I can go … if you need your rest little boy.” The little Illyrian jumped at that – not on the floor to have a temper tantrum – but to the Shadowsinger. His little fingers holding on tightly to Azriels’ neck as he sat in his lap, “No! Please don’t go! It’s nice to have you around!”

“You are certainly the only one who is thinking that.” Grinned Azriel at his head. Somehow laughter and sadness lacing those uplifted corners. Those twisted ties drawing in the seer so much, that she could not prevent those childish words from slipping; “That is not true. I like your company very much.” Only when his head snapped to her, those eyes widened and brimming with green and grey again, did she hear her own words pounding against her ear and nearly punching her heart out of her chest, as she got lost in the forest in his eyes.

Only catching herself once a last crack of wood screamed in the flames, making the burning ember jump out of the chimney and onto the rotten wooden tiles. It had the seer nearly jumping to her feet – pushing the glowing ember back with the heavy fire poker, as if she were stabbing a chicken.

Or a king for that matter, as suddenly not the gleaming heat of the fire covered her hand, but the warmth of freshly spilled blood. Elain shrieked at the sight, eyes wide and mortified did she throw the iron poker in front of the fireplace. Wiping her ash covered hand at those chiffon layers of sky blue.

Azriel was there the moment her back hit the old couch. Setting Amel on the old cushions and picking up the slightly heated fire poker with a careful, scarred, hand.

He took the space beside her the moment his ears heard the Illyrian boy shuffle to lay down, trying to give them at least the imagination of privacy with his back turned to the two fae. “El, are you alright?”

Her heart jumped at her nickname on his tongue. Rolling off of it so easily, as if he had done it a hundred times. “I am fine.” Croaked this silent voice of hers at him. Making her laugh at her ruined try of steadiness. “It’s fine Az, really. Nothing to be worried about.”

He didn’t answer her.

Hearing the lie a mile away even if he were deaf.

But he gave her time to sort herself out and collect all the silent thoughts she did not share with him. The moment she wanted to, his words flowing into hers as they were to interrupt each other’s sentences; “What are you doing here Azriel?” “I wanted to wish you a happy Birthday.”

They looked at each other then, really and for the first time in weeks. Those brown swirls in the seers’ eyes drawing him in, as if he were a child yearning for chocolate. Whilst the seer wandered into those streaks of green in his irises as if they were a mystical forest, she long wished to discover, but never dared to.

It had them still, yet throwing their heads back as laughs, as sweet as the first flowers in spring bloomed from the seer’s mouth. Whilst those frail petals slithered down Azriels spine, had the rich ravenous sound of his laughter goosebumps emitting on the seer’s skin. Amel merely turned around, peeking at the two adults merely sitting inches away from each other. The Shadowsingers wings slightly extended to Elain’s side as content silence wrapped around them as a warming blanket.

Even after weeks of silence did not change a thing of their companionship.

Even after all this time, after all the mistakes, had nothing changed.

There was a bond, buzzing and glowing, as warm as a hearth between them. But something dimmed this radiant glow.

Though it was no shadow which touched this magnificent bond. Enthralled by this golden glow themselves did they sneak around it like curious snakes, watching and gazing, tracing and tickling.

But neither of the two fae acknowledged this bond, this tether between night and day.

And so Amel saw it upon himself to cut through this thick silence, once no one dared to utter a word, not even a heave of a silent breath. “Elain, I am tired. Can you tell me a story, please?” “Of course!” jumped the seer to answer immediately, as she turned to wrap him up. Snuggling onto the couch close to his fragile body, to prevent him from freezing, and put another blanket atop his frame.

It didn’t take long for the boy to nuzzle into the seers side, pressing his rounded ear next to her left ribcage -listening to the thundering sound of her heart. “Do you want to listen too, Shadowsinger?”

“Please, call me Azriel. And only will I stay if your mother is alright with it.” Elain stiffned at that, barely noticeable -at least for Amel- as the little boy merely answered him “Elain is not my Mama – but she is waiting, together with me, for her to come back.”

Dread immediately filled Azriels guts as he saw the almost invisible shake of her head. He was an orphan. Left in the rubble of Hyberns attack.

He had to chock down a small “I am sorry.” For the boy did not yet know of his parents passing. But even though this was a message as dark as a shadow, did he still feel a spark of light inside this black mist, when he remembered how long ago the attack was and Elain was still here to watch and guid him. “Before you ask, Azriel, I don’t want to go into the city. Mama and Papa won’t know where I am if I leave.” Yawned the boy tiredly, surprising the Shadowsinger ever more, as he seemed to have known his next question.

Elain merely smiled at the boy and caressed his back protectively, whispering to no one in particular “I have tried to convince him for months now to come with me into Velaris, or at least a little hut -not a ruin- but this stubborn Illyrian doesn’t even give me a chance to reason with him.” Her gaze shifted then, from a warm fire to a cold batch of earth “But I am already used to that.”

Azriel didn’t know if she meant the incident on solstice, or if she was talking about her lack of choice in general, but he did not dare to pry any further as the shadows whispered of her uneasiness to him.

Amel seemed almost fast asleep in her arms, lulled in by the beat of her heart -how he would have liked to switch places with the little boy – barely noticing anything around him as he carefully got up from the creaking floor. “I better get –“ “Stay.” Interrupted him Elain before his heavy booted feet could even make one tentative step towards the door.

The Shadowsinger was torn between leaving and staying. The High Lords words,as well as his own ringing in his rounded ears. ‘You are to stay away from her.’ ‘It was a mistake.’

Did these words hunt her just as much as they chased him?

Letting him grief and nearly cry out in anger at a love he was denied being with, as his brother -His High Lord- assumed him to be driven by the need of his lusts. But this was by far the furthest thing from reality. He had long admitted to himself, that the taste of the seer on his tongue would send him to heaven and hell all the same.

But what he carved more than any taste of her, was just the feeling of her. The warmth of her lithe body seeping into him, whenever she would hug him. The sound of her voice giggling at one of his dry jokes – whilst her smile brightened up his world. Her smell a perfume of Jasmin he wished to smell for the rest of eternity.

And driven by all that -his hearts carvings- did he give in to the temptation of her company and settled to rest at the other end of the brown couch. One of the woollen blankets Elain had carried before resting atop his massive frame with slight scratches, but they gave him warmth and something other to concentrate on than the seers smell.

„All right. You settled in, Amel?” “Uhmm.” Hummed his young voice at Elain, sleep already drenching from every little sound. It had the seer giggling, whilst the Illyrian only nuzzled into her. Merely peeking an eye open when he had heard nothing of the silent Shadowsinger. Only to see the picture of darkness at the wrong spot.

Elain was sure, that if Feyre, or any other artist was to capture this moment, it would not be the taunt reality with a shy Shadowsinger trying to hide at the other end of the couch. For anyone else it would be death peering down on his next victims. The shadows behind him seemingly lashing and wiping at those preys, whilst the truth was one of shyness. The shadows not knowing what to do with themselves as their master was fully at ease and their presence of needlessness. But the curiosity they harboured, for the story that was to come, made them stay. Shyly settling down by Azriels wings and shoulders as they waited patient as dogs for the seer to begin.

But apparently was Amel not happy with the arrangements. Huffing a loud puff of air at the seer when he had realized the uncomfortable shyness with which Azriel gazed at them. “Azriel, please come here too – I wanna cuddle with you too!” It had the Shadowsinger go stiff as a board, the calm shadows beside him suddenly twitching alive again. But instead of lashing out to protect this cupboard of a male, did they more seem to gather behind his back. As if trying to push him.

“Traitors!” muttered the Shadowsinger under his breath, making the seer giggle ever the softest at his stern gaze into the black void. Amel hadn’t heard this word, which echoed through the seers pointed ear, but was delighted when he saw the dark male standing and gathering his blanket. The fire beside them dancing and seemingly caressing the stern panels of his face and gigantic wings.

Every other kid would have trembled in fear at him. Afraid that those painful eyes would hide a volcano of rage and violence, but Amel knew it better. And Elain couldn’t help as to smile at herself, with the knowledge that this better knowledge of the boy was her fault – telling him every night a tale of the Shadowsinger, which she herself heard from Nuala and Cerridwen.

“Scoot over.” Ordered Amel with the try to push the seer at the sofa lean. Even though the seating was rather large considered to regular couches, it still was not enough to fit all three next to each other.

Azriel already wanted to see it as a cue to finally go. A sigh of relief, but also exhaustion flooding him, as his heart yearned for the company of the seer. But also was afraid to come too close to her. Hurting her perhaps. He didn’t wanted to do that.

To his relief or unluck, he wasn’t sure, grabbed the seven year old his tainted hand and pushed him into the space next to Elain.

The seer, as well as the Shadowsinger, gazed at each other in a moment of surprise. Their widened eyes searching the company of each other as Azriels wings twitched beneath him, adjusting ever the slightest to his new form of rest -trying to make them some space.

But as it turned out was the only option to let Elain slightly lean up and let the wing pass under her. Cradling this lithe body of hers, while Amel crawled on the males chest and snuggled between the two. His own wings a warm cocoon around him. “Comfortable?” asked Azriel the boy and had his heart leaping in his chest at the bright smile the boy offered him. Hugging him close as if he were not a monster, as if he were not covered in the blood of hundreds and hundreds, but as if he were a male like everyone else. With a heart and a life and a mind which could make generous decisions.

It was the case that he did, but right now, even this moment seemed too innocent to weigh against all the bad decisions he made. Sensing his discomfort snaked the seer an arm around the little Illyrian between them, and let her palm silently rest on his drumming heart. She felt every nervous pump of blood on her skin, yet she merely smiled and tugged the blankets -which were shortly discarded- up to cover all three of them.

The fire still crackling happily in its pit. Whilst those three souls lay in comfort there.

It was the physically closest they had ever been. Even with Amel between them could the seer not say were his heaving chest ended and her calming hand started, connecting them as if he were a vibrant tree sprouting out of her calming earth. Somehow this coaxed a smile out of her and using the situation shamelessly by snuggling even closer.

But it did not like as if Azriel minded, as his scarred hand grabbed a hold of her waist. Steadily keeping her against him.

“Ready for your story?” whispered Elain in the warmth before the fire. “Yes!” declared the boy and too, snuggled closer to the Shadowsinger. In whose chest seemed to bloom a flower of happiness, nurtured by the appreciation, patience and love of those two in his arms.

Elain merely smiled and started a tale which the quiet Shadowsinger was to remember even in the passage of centuries.

“Once upon a time, there lived a princess. She was of utter beauty and kindness, pure and entirely unstained. Something her two sisters wanted to prevent from ever happening, as they searched the truest, kindest and sweetest soul for her sister to marry. Promising her hand to him at a time she had not even met this mysterious man. The bubble of solitude and guarded safety her sisters kept her in, stifling her chances of ever getting to know him before their wedding was to happen. Promising her forever to the hand of a stranger, who did not even own her trust.” Azriel noticed, that during sometime at her telling – had slipped a sting of pain in those normally bright shining eyes. But Azriel assumed to know why this was the case, her fingers starting to rub unconscious circles over his heart – chanting searing circles through his burning skin as his heart thundered and pumped in response at them. At even the softest of flame rings did this beating muscle in his heart not miss a chance to capture this circle.

And then she whispered again -at the night, at Amel, at him or at the fire, he wasn’t sure. “But this marriage was a trap. Not for the lovely sister, but for the poor man -who would spend his entire life in the fear of losing his wife to a so believed demon inside of her. This creature inside of her -so it was told- capturing her and leaving her eyes in a mist of grey whenever he was to talk to her. “

“Her sisters had worried for their beloved, lovely sister ever more with the passing years, as this haze of grey seemingly hunted her day and night. Fearing that this beast might kill her, had they locked her up, far, far into a tower with barred windows. Her entire freedom taken away from her, when her sisters had sent a guard to watch over her.” Elain chuckled, and sneaked a glance at the Shadowsinger, who cradled the tired Illyrian, as if her were worth an entire court. “At first, she believed him to be a statue, one created without emotions displayed on his looming face. But over the time she got to spend with him – she saw it was actually a massive cauldron brewing beneath his bronze skin. Mixing happiness, kindness, gratitude, sadness, anger and so much more into one pot that he just didn’t know how to express them.”

“But over time -even when those hazy moments possessed her- did they grow to know each other. Finding more similarities in the other than it was ever believed of a guard and a princess to have. Her sisters however were blind to the obvious trust between the guard and their sister and kept the engagement to the other man. It was when she first saw the male, so in contrast to the guard who had her trust, that this demon overtook her. Not just her eyes, but also her mouth. Speaking of a riddle which was to occupy the entire Kingdome of the princess for years: ‘The one with the deepest of values, shall be able to set her free – the one of the greatest of powers. The one having fate at her hand, a two-sided blade -one old and one new- wielding at her will. A mist of grey laying ahead of her eyes, whilst the path behind her, shall be paved forever more. The stone to rest, one which she can’t move.’ “

Her eyes glazed over at that – when her voice talked almost sacredly about those prophecies – as if she were in a memory only months away. Absently starting to trace Amels ash black curls with a tentative finger. His deep snore vibrating through the Shadowsingers chest as both watched in trance the rise of his little body. When she realized that Amel had long gone into the depths of sleep, she withdrew her hand, closing her eyes for the rest of slumber. That was until the Shadowsinger asked, a careful edge lacing his voice, “Could you please continue? I wanna know the answer to the riddle.”

Her eyes snapped woken at that, a shy smile stretching her lips, before she used the hand to cradle the felty matt of Amels hair, to caress his lightly stubbled cheek “I assume you already know the answer, Shadowsinger.” “Still. Please.” He wanted to hear her voice just for a little longer. Wanted to enjoy her embrace as long as he could – savouring every searing fingerprint of her on his skin.

Elain did not argue father than that, simply letting her words lull him in again; “Her sisters believed, that the one who had the deepest of value, was the betrothed of their beloved sister. Claiming that her love was his. But to their disappointment had he no clue, no answer with could free the lovely princess from her haze. And so, she stayed locked up, in the tower and murky depths of grey, her hand free to take – as the sisters saw that the man they chose, was a choice for another princess. The riddle, which was spoken, carried near and far. Surprisingly, luring a lot of man into the trance of the cursed princess, so it was said. “

“Her beauty had man forget the oddity ,this curse seemed to be, and made them simply wish to take her hand with the freeing of her haze. And yet, determined they all were, no one had the ability to free her from those murky grey depths. The only soul loyal by her side -unafraid- was the devoted guard by her side. Watching and protecting her like the human she was before. “

“Year went by, beforethe guard got fed up with presenting the princess constantly as if she were an animal in the zoo. A mere attraction, not a living being. The guard had heard the riddle so many times, he himself was able to recite it as if it were his own words, yet it took time too, for him to realize the meanings of the words.”

Elains brown orbs gazed deep into his then, a bright smile seemingly lightening each freckle and trace of colour in her eyes, when she recited the words he once declared “A seer. That was what the guard had told. Freeing the princess from the grey murky depths of future and past with two simple words. Spoken as if they weighed nothing. But the world rose at that day, colour, smells and feelings returning to the princess. The cry of happiness was roaring through the entire castle, as the two sisters wanted to hug their beloved sister, though had she heard nothing of that. Running past her extended arms and down the pedestal on which they kept her. Jumping right into the guards’ arms and clinging to him, as if he were her air.”

“Is that what you would have liked to do?” grinned the Shadowsinger. The tenseness of his shoulders -of his entire being- seemingly vanished into thin air within this stolen moment. Elain blushed a little, but nodded nonetheless – snuggling a bit closer to his warmth and body – whilst his wings drew in tighter and tighter around the three. As if they were the boundary between the world and their peace. “If Lucien wouldn’t have been there -as well as my sisters- I would have done so. I would have weeped into your arms out of joy.” Admitted Elain with crimson cheeks. But Azriel merely pulled her tighter with the hand around her hip.

A silent understanding that he, too, would have liked to change this moment now. But the past is paved and set in stone – no matter how many mistakes one might have done, they could only change the future. And Azriel knew the moment a loud snore left Amels lungs, that he wanted a future where this was not a stolen moment – where this was their life. And one in which this would not be a ruin, but their home.

Their home.

How he liked that sound. Making him feel all fuzzy and warms as he imagined it, not even the cold reality of the story able to catch up to him. He was with Elain in her embrace he could dream – he always did. It should have been a warning- that his mentality had went from cautious and professional to this cotton candy sprinkled mind of happiness and without boundaries – but he would take the consequences for that on another day, in another setting.

“Where did you even know from where I was?” whispered Elain into the dimming light. “I didn’t. The shadows had guided me.” And as if on queue flickered a whisper of darkness over her cheek, caressing her, as if they were a ribbon of silk. Fluttering briefly over the snoring Illyrian between them too.

“They seem to like you and him.” “I like them too.” Smiled the seer. “They are you after all.”

Azriels heart nearly burst at this as blinked away the prickling sensation in his eyes. Never, not in 500 years, had one spoken of him and his shadows like this. Never had he felt those words more than now as he was on an emotionl edge.  Torn between his High Lords command and the calming presence of this beloved female. But as she hugged him impossibly closer, he knew that he no longer was torn – that he no longer had to fight against a wish he wanted fulfilled.

Azriel was sure that he wanted Elain, courts and everything be damned, as he only hugged her closer too. She and Amel, right now the only ones which counted to him. And he was ready to die for them – if Lucien or Beron insisted on the blood duel.

“I am sorry I haven’t gotten you a Birthday gift, El.” Exclaimed his strained voice suddenly, when he noticed the seers eyes glaze over with tiredness – believing that she could not answer him anymore.

“It’s alright Az, your company is gift enough.”

And it was in that moment, when silence and sleep rested on the wind’s breath, that he didn’t know if it was the seers Birthday or his. As this was the greatest present he ever received.

*

*

*

The wind sored loudly around them, as a curtain of honey whipped in front of his face -the seer having once again not listened into braiding her hair- clouding his vision on the small hut. “We are almost home!” yelled Amels voice next to the two. His yet delicate wings carrying him carefully on the gusts of wind, as if they were lifting him up into the arms.

Azriel and Elain merely smiled, once they saw the little hut. Hidden away into a garden of wildflowers and trees, as Elain had planted them there. Around their home. Around their secret.

It was yet a story to be told to their family, of how the crow -how Azriel translated Amels name to her- had connected death and the fawn. Letting them soar high into the sky in the arms of each other. Away from responsibilitys and fate.

They knew it would all come to an end eventually -spilling the secret – but until then they had this.

A life full of sunshine, yet covered in the shadows, as they flew further and further to the wooden hut. The sun guiding them their path with a shining smile.

Whilst the Seer and the Shadowsinger could only smile as bright as the rise of a new day, “Yes, Amel, we are almost home!”

__________________________________

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[secret-engima]

*snicker* Sorry, I just - had the mental image of the Nox!taur 'verse combined with your soulmates 'verse. And I just - had the mental image of Cor and secret!female!Ardyn switching places on Switch day - long before they actually *meet* in person. So here is Cor, utterly flabbergasted because he's long thought he was one of the few /without/ a soulmate, suddenly blinking awake on Switch day in an entirely different place and body and - are those wings. Are those scales. (cont)

hamelin-born said: (cont) He has a soulmate, and his soulmate is an /unknown dragon-taur?!/ His soulmate is a *Lucis Caelum?!* Meanwhile, Ardyn is - actually flawlessly pretending to be Cor and /getting away with it because 1) She actually learned about Switch Day and the existence of soulmates in time to anticipate this, and 2) Ardyn used to use illusions to assume other's identities for /fun/ (and blackmail purposes), she's /used/ to tricking others into believing she's someone else. (cont)

hamelin-born said: (cont) Ardyn's main worry is for her darling nibling - but they made all the preparations they could, just in case, and she knows that Nox can take care of himself. (Nox is. Currently being fed Good Food by Libertus, who immediately recognized that the person in Nyx's body Was Not Nyx, and is both welcoming him to the family and gently interrogating him. Meanwhile, Nyx is - literally in the middle of the wilderness, miles from everyone else, FREAKING OUT at the dragon-taur body she's in.)

hamelin-born said: Cont: It's later assumed by EVERYONE that a mixture of Lucis Caelum Magic, Niflheimr Magitek Science, and Astral Bleepery are to blame for the soulmates never switching until they were all well over 15.

Me: Can I just say I love this idea with every fiber of my being? Like- hgfdhgf. Not going to make it part of Nox!Taur canon but this is HYSTERICAL. Imma ramble on this because this is great.

Do you know what would make it BETTER? If neither of them had any clue it was going to happen. Ardyn just- woke up in the wrong body, looked around, and decided she had no idea what was going on but she was gonna ROLL WITH IT and is flawlessly pulling it off because she’s he master at addlibing. She picks up from some of the things mentioned as she goes about Cor’s day that 1. Apparently the switching thing is normal? 2. Apparently no one expects Cor to be switched because he never has and people assume that means his “soulmate” is dead or never existed. 3. That soulmates are a thing. Interesting.

Wait how is her darling nephew going to deal with this? Also this means Cor the Immortal is in HER body right now. Oh dear.

Cor meanwhile is Not A Happy Camper. He just- where is he. What’s going on. He SWITCHED? He has A SOULMATE AT HIS AGE (remember, switches only happen when the youngest member turns fifteen so Cor at first thinks his soulmate must be. Devastatingly young). Then he gets a good look at his soulmate’s body and internally Freaks Out. He has a dragon for a soulmate, there is ANOTHER LUCIS CAELUM RUNNING AROUND. Further, the caelum is STARVING TO DEATH. Cor can barely stand to haul this body to Hammerhead from the hunger pangs and dizziness and by the astrals what has his soulmate been doing to get into this state? (Answer: nothing, this is Ardyn’s normal state, she just literally doesn’t notice because compared to sharing a suit with thousands of screaming daemons the pain of hunger doesn’t even register as pain). Cor is further alarmed when he hauls the body to Hammerhead and Cid GREETS what he clearly thinks is the owner of the body, (ARDYN??? HIS SOULMATE IS ARDYN? IT BETTER NOT BE THE ARDYN HE’S THINKING OF) And Cor kinda gives the game away by yelling “YOU KNOW WHO OWNS THIS BODY?” And Cid blinks and goes “You’re her soulmate?” Then he squints because clearly Ardyn’s soulmate knows Cid too, takes in the posture and the scowl and goes “COR?”

In the middle of a private meeting between Regis, Clarus, Titus, and “Cor”, Regis’s phone rings. A quick check proves it to be Cid’s number and he answers because Cid never calls without very good reason. Listens with slowly widening eyes to whatever is being said, then lowers the phone to stare sternly at “Cor”, “I believe,” Regis says slowly as he turns the phone to speaker, “It’s for you.”

Ardyn is highly amused to hear her own voice trying to screech deeply as Cor yells at his soulmate over being half starved and also his soulmate and if you are causing his king any grief, soulmate or NOT he’s going to kill you.

Regis, Clarus, and Titus watch in minor horror as the person they were sure was just a slightly broodier Cor (which is normal considering what day it is) relaxes and smirks, body posture loose and totally different, “Me? My dear Cor,” purrs the person in Cor’s frame, “I’ve been causing no trouble at all! I even filed all your paperwork for you. No one has been inconvenienced in the slightest, have you, Your Majesty?” A bright smile that is eerie on Cor’s face and Regis stiffens. Then Ardyn flicks her soulmate’s lion tail and muses aloud, “I will admit to being confused over all of this however, this has never happened to me before.”

“Ah blame Mors,” Cid says over the line after shushing an irate Cor, “an’ the Nifs. They probably screwed with the soul bond or something.”

“Fair assumption,” muses Cor’s soulmate before smiling and bowing to Regis and Clarus with a dramatic, “Well, since Cor has given the game away, I suppose I should introduce myself. Ardyn Izunia, honored to make your acquantence.”

Dead. Horrified. Silence. Then over the line Cor starts swearing a blue streak.

Titus feels his Doom™ approaching. His boss is not only apparently FEMALE, she is COR’S SOULMATE. HIS SECRET BOSS AND THE MARSHAL ARE SOULMATES. HE’S DOOMED.

Turning to Nyx:

Nyx is … Nyx is not handling this well. She was expecting her Switch day to happen sometime soon, because there’s an average age range for soulmates and she’s creeping toward the longer end but not that badly. She was expecting a switch … she was NOT expecting to wake up alone, in the middle of nowhere, hungry and ACHING in her lower back where her taur half started, like a fire pounding in time to her heartbeat and making it exhausting just to stand up. Six, Six her soulmate must have just turned fifteen, a fifteen year old was out in the wildness, clearly INJURED and hungry-. She twists around to look at the injury, praying that doesn’t make it worse, and comes face to face with WINGS. Twitching, blue-scaled dragon wings.

Her soulmate is a dragontaur. Her soulmate is an injured, fifteen year old dragontaur in the middle of who knows where with no help or guardian in SIGHT-.

Six. Six this was bad. Who did she have to kill for this when she got back-.

“Nox? You okay?” Nyx whirls at the approach of the familiar voice, stumbles then rights herself clumsily (note to self, dragontaurs did NOT move the same way coeurltaurs did) and is both relieved and angry to see Axis cautiously trotting over.

“You KNOW who this is?” Nyx demands angrily, “Curse it, Axis, why didn’t you TELL anyone there was another Lucis Caelum running around?”

Axis freezes, several expressions cross his face, “Oh. I guess Nox turned fifteen recently,” he says aloud slowly, “You are?”

“Nyx. And the moment I’m back I am TELLING Luche and Tredd about this.”

Axis blanches, then sighs, “Yeah, I probably deserve that, come on, let’s get you to a Haven to figure this out.”

Nyx pauses, “I’m not sure I should be walking, he’s hurt.”

Axis whirls around in alarm, but after hearing Nyx’s description of the pain and a quick check under the shirt, Axis just shakes his head and looks … grim, “I knew he was always downplaying it.”

“…Axis?”

“You’re not feeling a wound. Those are just Nox’s scars. He kept saying they didn’t hurt anymore, but I always thought he was just acclimated to the pain.”

Nyx gapes for several seconds, already feeling fury building in her frame, wings mantling out without her control before she hisses, “Axis. Axis I literally feel like I’ve been mauled by a coeurl within the last week, HOW IS ANYONE ACCLIMATED TO THAT?”

Axis’s unhappy, protective look grows deeper, “By being stuck with it since childhood without proper medication or help. Now come on, you can’t fight in that body.”

Nyx follows, and suddenly doesn’t think the sick, twisting feeling in this body’s stomach is just hunger.

Turning to Nox!

Nox doesn’t realize the switch for a WHILE.

Mostly because he is dead to the world asleep.

He got switched to a body that doesn’t have anywhere near the level of aches and pains his has what did you expect but for him to conk out from relief?

It is that prolonged sleep that clues Libertus in that Nyx has finally had her first Switch, because yeah Nyx sleeps in sometimes, who doesn’t, but sleeping in until noon with no signs of stirring? Nyx hasn’t even done that when in the hospital unless she was drugged six ways from Sunday. So Libertus and Crowe carefully unlock Nyx’s apartment and scoot inside to wait anxiously in the living room/kitchenette of the tiny apartment. If Nyx IS just sleeping in somehow, she won’t care, and if it’s the new soulmate … Libertus is protective. He knows soulmates are supposed to be your ultimate match and partner, but he’s seen enough to know that sometimes … things just don’t work out. He isn’t going to let Nyx’s body get hurt because some stranger woke up and reacted badly to being a soulmate to a Kingsglaive.

When Nox finally wakes up, he registers his strange surroundings and FREAKS. Promptly falls over because coeurl legs rather than the dragon limbs he’s finally used to. Crowe and Libertus run in just in time to witness Nox having a panic attack. Libertus thinks that’s … an overreaction until after calming Nox down and listening to his confused, freaked out questions, they realize that whoever this is, he is SOMEHOW totally oblivious to how soulmates work.

Nox gets bundled into the living area with Crowe sitting on not-his-back while Libertus feeds him All the Good Food and explains the soulmate thing.

Soulmate.

This is a soulmate world. A taur soulmate world where soulmates find each other by SWAPPING BODIES for two days of the year.

Bahamut. Bahamut where are you Nox waNtS a ReFUnD-

Libertus asks some gentle questions and yeah it becomes immediately clear that Nyx’s soulmate was … not taken care of as a child. Or possibly ever.

Libertus wants to kill someone.

The soulmate, who’s name is Nox apparently, admits to having an- a relative he calls “Uncle”, and when Libertus and Crowe gently tell Nox that his soulmate is a Kingsglaive named Nyx … Nox bursts into tears. He can’t help it, he’s freaked out and stressed and this isn’t his body so his control is shot and that name is the name of the person who saw his father DIE in the other timeline-.

Crowe and Lib exchange looks, dreading having to tell Nyx her soulmate is an anti-refugee or something, when Nox struggles his tears under control and wobbly asks to borrow a phone. Libertus cautiously hands him one and Nox dials a number, but instead of the mysterious “Uncle”, Nox holds the phone to his ear and when the other end picks up asks with a cracking voice, “Axis? This is … this is Nox. Um … I don’t suppose you found … my body? Because apparently I’m not in it for the day? You did? Oh…. Okay. Okay good. …No. No I’m not … I’m just … this is a shock. No. No one told me about this, Uncle never said a word and it’s not like-. Yeah. Umm… yeah hang on,” Nox holds out the phone to Libertus (who is currently wondering what the odds are that the “Axis” Nox just called isn’t one Axis Arra who is about to be in so much trouble) and Libertus takes it.

On the phone is a teen voice, male, not Axis, “Lib, tell me my soulmate is okay.”

“Nyx. He’s … okay. This entire thing freaked him out pretty bad. You with someone right now?”

“Yeah. Axis Arra. Turns out SOMEONE didn’t feel the need to inform the Clans he’d adopted a DRAGONTAUR last year.”

Libertus rears back, stomping his hooves in shock, “A WHAT.”

“You heard me the first time.”

“By the Six.”

Nyx takes a deep breath on the line and Libertus settles immediately, “What. What else is there. Nyx, talk to me.”

Nyx’s tone, even in a foreign body, is the most fragile and angry he’s heard it in a long time, “I am in … a lot of pain right now Lib. Like-. Would willingly check myself into a hospital for the good painkillers level of pain. And according to Axis? This is NORMAL.”

And Libertus thinks of how his first clue to the Switch was Nox sleeping half the Switch day away. Thinks of how exhausting it is to suddenly not be in pain anymore. Thinks of a lone dragontaur with only a mysterious “Uncle” to care for him yet not tell him about soulmates, of a stray that Axis would feel wasn’t SAFE to be known as an Arra or introduced to the Clans-.

He takes a deep breath to keep from snarling. As it is, his rear hoof stomps with a sharp sound that makes Crowe look worried, “You and Axis haul your tails back here as fast as you can. We can … talk about this when you get back.”

“Right. But for the record? I’m never letting my soulmate out of Little Galahd without an escort again. And I’m going to be cashing in my med insurance BIG time.”

Libertus stares down at the body of his best friend, currently inhabited by one frazzled, shaking, probably abused dragontaur teen, and exhales slowly, “Once this gets out? You’re gonna have the entire Glaive pitching in. And the Ostium Clan.”

“Thanks, Big Guy.” Nyx hangs up and Libertus pockets the phone, only telling a nervous Nox that Nyx and Axis are going to make their way to Insomnia, because the only way to stop the switches is to meet face to face. Nox looks relieved and scared all in one and Libertus shares a look with Crowe.

Yeah. They’re never letting Nyx’s soulmate out of their sight again.

[the--sad--hatter]

Mischief & Madness - Chapter 3 (Loki X Reader)

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Loki/Reader (No physical description of reader other than female presenting)

Warnings: LOKI, Angst, lots of violence, graphic gore, extreme cursing, anxiety attacks. 

Summary:

Living in New York has its ups and its downs. Upside - You have a cushy job at Stark Industries. Downside - You wind up getting yourself kidnapped by The God Of Mischief.

All you wanted was a decent cup of coffee, now you’re stuck on the otherside of the universe with a sociopath who has only begrudgingly not murdered you.

To get back home you’ll have to work with Loki, and probably stop trying to stab him.

To regain his power, he’ll have to work with you, and probably stop trying to slaughter you.

When Mischief and Madness collide, chaos ensues. Even if you survive this, the universe probably won’t…

Masterlist 

Chapter Three

As soon as the doors opened Natasha sauntered out of the elevator, leaving you to trail after her. The first person to notice and acknowledge you was Vision, who drifted over and held his fist out to you.

 “I have garnered from watching the interactions of the team that when a friend is victorious it is customary to offer them your fist so that they may bump it.” He explained, pleased with himself.

 You shifted your coffee to your non-dominant hand and accepted the proffered fist bump, cooing under your breath at his adorableness.

 “There she is, my favourite lil genius!” Sam crowed loudly, jogging over to sling his arm around your shoulders.

 “Excuse me? Is she the genius who pays for everything?” Tony squawked, offended.

 “Shush, let me have my moment.” You scolded.

“You did very well today.” Wanda said softly, and you had to look around for a moment before you spotted her on the couch, sandwiched between Clint and Steve.

 “Yeah, I had Friday pull the footage so I can watch it on repeat.” Clint sniggered ecstatically as Sam swept you over to the seating area.

 Something cold touched your wrist and you looked down at Bucky who was splayed across an armchair. He didn’t say anything, just caught your eye and gave you a firm nod of approval.

 “What kind of coffee is that?” Tony demanded, snatching the cup from your hand and taking a sip.

 “Gimme a break, I took an impromptu and unwilling flying lesson today.” You scoffed, snatching it back.

 “But I caught you!” Peter exclaimed, wiggling in his seat like a proud puppy who’d successfully performed a trick.

 “Yes, yes you did. Three cheers for Spiderinfant!” You scoffed, letting Sam push you onto the couch next to Steve.

 “I agree, congratulations are in order for the young ones and their part in todays battle. Were this Asgard, we would feast for days to honour them.”

 “Let’s go to Asgard then.” You stage whispered to Peter.  

 “Alas, I have just returned from Asgard and I have much news.” Thor admitted heavily.

 “Lay it on us, how much did Loki screw up Asgard?” Tony asked.

 “While masquerading as my father Loki ruled Asgard fairly and justly. He built monuments to himself of course but the people did not seem to mind. I suspect many of them knew it was Loki in disguise but choose to continue the charade. Indeed, Asgard is peaceful and prosperous.” Thor admitted, befuddled.

 “Huh. How about that? The would be King was actually fit for the job. Maybe we should have just given Loki the planet.” You sniggered.

 “Joking. Obviously.” You quickly added when you were subjected to numerous hard stares.

 “So what’s the bad news?” Steve asked, getting back on track.

 “The Enchantress Amora began causing havoc in Asgard, that is why Loki came here to find a weapon to stop her. She has been captured, though only barely. I believed Loki was acting in Asgards best interest until we went to the Vaults and the tesseract disappeared.”

 “Loki has the Tesseract?” Steve asked sharply.

 “I do not know. The Tesseract was in the vault. It disappeared before our very eyes and we know not where it has gone.”

 “Friday, where’s Loki?” Tony snapped out quickly.

 “He is on the balcony reading about childhood trauma and the effects it can have in later life.” Friday responded.

 “Who gave Loki a book?” Steve sighed.

 You sunk down in your seat guiltily, refusing to meet Natasha’s eye.

 “I did. Thought he might learn something.” The redheaded Russian said blithely, covering for you.

 You put your hand up nervously.

 “You can go to the bathroom, you don’t need to ask.” Clint whispered, shaking his head slightly at you.

 “Good to know, but… What do you mean The Tesseract disappeared. In all the years it was studied on Earth it never acted on it’s own. Someone had to have taken it, somehow. There’s only one person we know of who can do anything similar to that, and he knew where it was. It had to have been Loki.” You suggested.

 “Agreed. Friday, up the security on Loki and around the tower.” Tony instructed, taking your suggestion seriously.

 “I will guard Loki personally.” Thor said sagely, picking up his hammer.

 He didn’t really wait for an agreement, just stomped out onto the landing and stepped over the edge.

 “Love that guy. Knows how to make an entrance and an exit.” You snorted.

 “You’ll get used to it.” Steve assured, patting your shoulder.

 “Will I? Because as fun as today has been, I don’t really see myself hanging out with you in much of an Avenging capacity. Feel free to invite me to Pizza Parties though! And by feel free, I mean do it or I’ll subscribe you to every penis enlargement scam on the net.” You warned.

 “You wanna tell her?” Steve asked Tony.

 You looked between them, teetering between curious excitement and nervous fear.

 “Tell me what? Tell meeeeeeeeee!” You demanded.

 “Wanna hang out with us in an Avenging capacity? Pizza parties included.” Tony asked giddily, looking quite proud of himself.

 “All of our scientific minds are also out on the front, fighting. We think it would be beneficial if we had people working full time on tech, communications, weaponry etc… People we can trust. We already know you, we like you, we trust you and you’ve more than proven how capable you are.” Steve added.

 Proud of you, Tony was proud of you, not himself. You were being extended a coveted invitation to…

 “So you want me to be your ‘Q’?” You clarified.

 “Yes.” Steve agreed, rolling his eyes when you and Tony gaped at him in surprise.

 “I’ve seen James Bond.” He said flatly.

 “We’re offering you a job Princess. We want you to move into the compound upstate and work for The Avengers full time. You wouldn’t be in the public eye so you would be safe, and yes you will have your own lab. All the toys and funding you want.” Tony explained.

 “Barnes and I have worked out a training schedule for you, not that we’re expecting you to go on missions.” Natasha added, smiling over at you smugly.

 “We picked you out a room next to mine.” Wanda said excitedly.

  “I stopped Tony from making your room pink, but I couldn’t talk him out of the Canopy bed.” Sam snorted.

 “That beds awesome. If you don’t want it, I’ll have it!” Clint offered enthusiastically.

 “Banners at the compound now, setting up your lab equipment.” Steve added, explain the Doctors absence from the meeting.

 “Wait, you’re taking her upstate?” Peter piped up, near pouting.

 “Relax kid, we’re not locking her up, she’s not going from Sleeping Beauty to Rapunzel. You can still have playdates.” Tony assured.

 Throughout all the excitement you had remained uncharacteristically silent, something that started to dawn on everyone.

 “Uh, I… My coffee is cold. I’m going to make a fresh one.” You muttered, getting stiffly to your feet.

 “Princess?”

 “Just give me a minute, please. I’ll be back.” You said briskly, high-tailing it towards the elevator.

 “Well done guys, you scared her off.” Sam grouched as you slipped into the elevator, trying not to hyper-ventilate.

 It was a more than generous offer, it was a dream come true. But you couldn’t help but wander back to your lab in a daze, trying to untie the knot in your stomach. This was literally the biggest thing to ever happen to you, being invited to work with Earth’s Mightiest. You’d have access to resources and tech beyond your imagination, you could work directly with Tony and Banner not just for them. You could have a hand in saving the world, changing it, improving and saving lives.

 So why were you sat on a chair with your head in your hands and trying not to cry?

 “Princess, your heart rate is elevated and you are showing signs of distress. Is everything ok?” Friday asked, her volume lower than it normally was.

 “And there is your greatest fear, laid bare. You can’t stand the thought that your death will be as meaningless and unimportant as your life.”

 “I’m fine Friday.” You answered numbly.

 “The genius in a tower of people smarter than her, brushing shoulders with champions and knowing she will never be one, surrounded by greatness but unable to achieve it herself.”

 “Should I inform Mr Stark you need him?” She prodded.

 “You hate that you are insignificant, that you will never rise above the mediocrity that is so prevalent in your race.”

 “No. I don’t need Tony. I don’t need anyone.” You replied coldly.

 You knew what was wrong now. You were scared. Scared that you’d have the chance to be something more, to be important and that you would blow it. It was easy to hope for something but when that hope came to fruition it wasn’t easy to follow through.

 What if you weren’t as smart as they thought you were?

 What if you messed up and someone got hurt?

 What if you crumbled under the pressure?

 What if you let yourself down?

 What if you let Tony down?

 What if you got what you wanted and realised it wasn’t what you needed?

 What if you didn’t fit in?

 What if they realised the same thing everybody else always inevitably did, that you weren’t likeable?

 What if you got thrown out and lost everything?

 You were so consumed with what ifs that you didn’t notice that Friday hadn’t answered you. You only looked up when something you couldn’t quite put your finger on let you know something was wrong. You looked around the lab, on alert, searching for what was wrong, when you heard it.

 Or rather, you didn’t hear it. The lab was full of equipment and machines that were always on, humming and whirring, the white noise of machinery. It was silent now though, and now that you realised that you could see that all the blinking lights were off.

 “Friday?”

 There was no response, and a chill ran down your spine. You pulled your phone from your pocket and frowned at the black screen. You raced towards the elevator, knowing full well what you’d find and you were right. There was no electricity in the building, or anything in the building. Something had drained all the power.

 Which meant…

 “Hello Vænn.” He hissed, right behind you.

 Loki’s cell was useless.

 His fingers closed around your elbow and you were forcibly slammed into the nearest wall. His green eyes glinted in the darkness and something sharp and cold pressed into the tender flesh over your thrumming pulse.

 “Is that a dagger at my throat or are you happy to see me?” You laughed breathlessly, without humour.

 “You bested me once, I can not let the insult pass, nor risk you doing it again.” He explained almost amicably.

 He was so close you could see the flecks of gold and emerald in his eyes, and the regret as well. It almost distracted you from the sharp pain in your neck until you felt something damp drip down your skin. The dagger was so sharp it had started to slice through your skin even though he’d made no move to injure you yet. His gaze flickered down and he watched the thin rivulet of blood roll down your throat.

 “You’re hesitating.” You accused him.

 “Are you so eager to die?” He threw back.

 “Just wondering if that connection I felt we had was in my imagination, because after our moment on the balcony I thought we were friends. And friends don’t slit friends throats.” You told him, half joking-half imploring.

 His eyes darted across your face like he was searching for something, some kind of sign about what to do. Or maybe he was just relishing in your terror and you were projecting.

 “I was King. I had the throne and the power. The people adored me, even if they didn’t know it was me. I had everything and it’s lost because of you. You took everything from me and taking your pathetic life isn’t an even bargain but it is all you have, so it is what I will take in recompense.” He hissed, his eyes brimming over with darkness and hate.

 “Loki, don’t. Please don’t kill me.” You whispered softly.

 “For someone with so much pride, you do beg so prettily, sweet Vænn.” He whispered back, his tone hard where yours had been gentle.

 There it was again, that word. What it meant was still beyond the reaches of your knowledge but it hardly seemed pertinent right now, with the tower shrouded in darkness and your blood painting your skin.

 They had to know Loki would be free, The Avengers had to know. If you could just stall long enough, distract him, you could survive. You could beg some more, play up to the pathetic mortal gig, wait for someone stronger than you to come and rescue you.

 “You can try as hard as you like to lay the blame with me but we both know you were never really King, you were a bastard prince playing pretend.” You snarled.

 You didn’t want to die, but in the end you were still you, and you didn’t want to snivel and beg. There was no point in surviving if the price was being unable to look yourself in the mirror.

 Thunderous crashing above you made you flinch, unwittingly slicing your own skin a little more. The entire tower shook and for a moment you thought an Earthquake had struck New York, but everything soon became clear.

 “Loki! Stop this at once!” Thor roared, his booming voice reaching you a split second before he came crashing into the lab, the hammer swinging in his hand. When he saw you, half hidden behind Loki and blood beginning to stain your shirt, his eyes widened. Which begged the question, if he didn’t know Loki was about to kill you, what was he demanding that Loki stop?

 There was one final crash as the ceiling above your head collapsed, plaster and concrete raining down on your lab in a dusty explosion. Instinctively you hid behind Loki, using him as a shield and forgetting about the dagger that he thankfully pulled away in time. When the dust cleared you realised he wasn’t even paying attention to you, his eyes fixed on the centre of the lab. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Thor raise the hammer but you couldn’t care less.

 Levitating off the ground, smack in the middle of your lab, was the Tesseract. Blue light shone from it, casting a glow over everything it touched. It was… mesmerising. Utterly entranced by it you stepped forward in tandem with Loki, unaware you’d put yourself between him and Thor. Thor was yelling something but you couldn’t make it out, it was like you were underwater, separated from the world and drowning in blue light. The only thing you could clearly hear was your own heartbeat, slow and steady, calmly pulsating as you walked towards the Tesseract as the light got brighter and brighter.

 And then the floor dropped out from under your feet and swirling blue light was the only thing left.

A/N - Aaaaaaand we're off.

I think it's setting itself apart from MMYM. I feel like Princess and Kitten, while both sassy af, are quite different, and this Loki is a little bit different as well. I could be wrong though, so, thoughts?

Ngl though, I am already digging the Princess/Loki dynamics.

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[afaimsarrowverse]

Top 30 Arrowverse Storylines we never got to see:

30.  Ray and Barry as Friends hanging out and superheroing together (The Flash/Arrow/Legends of Tomorrow)

I am not really sure why this never happend. Grant wanted it, Brandon wanted it, the fans wanted it, but somehow Ray ended up not even getting invited to Barry’s Wedding, while Sara, who never even interacted that much with Barry before, did. „All Star Team Up“ did work very good and showed that Ray was quite a good fit for Team Flash, but when „Legends“ came along letting those two character interact outside of Crossover became a problem, but still the writers could have them have interact more during the Crossovers or at least, you know, have Barry invite Ray to his Wedding!

 29. Jacob finding out thaz Kate is Batwoman at a point where it still matters (Batwoman)

Seeing how Anti-Batwoman Jacob was, it would have been a very big moment when he would finally find out that Kate is the one wearing the mask. One can argue that is was still a big moment, but Alice telling him flat out when Kate is not around anymore does not have the same impact or consequences this storyline was supposed to have. It would have been interesting to see if he would have changed his tune (probably) and how much. In the comic Kate’s Father is actually one of her biggest supporters Batwoman-wise, and while I don’t think that we would have gotten to this point quickly, it would have been interesting to see the Crows working with the real Batwoman with Jacob’s grudging permission and what impact this revelation would have had on his relationship to his daughter.

 28. Laurel Lance Lives (Arrow)

Laurel was never supposed to die, but the writers were pressured into killing her of, so Oliver could be with Felicity instead. But you can’t just kill of the Black Canary! She is arguable one of the most important female superheroes of DC Comics, maybe the most important one right after Wonder Woman. Which is why we got a whole line up of new Black Canarys after her death. But the Original One (not counting Sara, who never actually called herself that on the show, I mean we don’t refer to Shado and her father as Green Arrow either, do we?) was the best one and was the Female Lead of the show and would have deserved to go to amazing places after Season 4 and would have gone there if she had had the chance. Too bad shipping is more important than storylines, characters, and legacy to The CW, Warner, and DC.

 27. „Green Arrow and the Canaries“ Spin-Off (Arrow)

We waited almost a year for the news that this is not happening after all, after everyone pretending it’s a go for a very long time. Which is a major disappointment. Not so much because the show would have been that great - the Backdoor Pilot did not look like it - but because many storylines remained unresolved and will probably continue to remain that way because of the cancelation, inculding William’s abduction, the question who gave JJ his memories back and why, the whole mystery about Dinah and the Black Canary, and the question what Laurel is really up to. It’s said that not the whole show would have taken place in the future and there would have been a Laurel Storyline in the present, but in any case it would have been „Arrow“s Legacy Show, where many of the characters from the old show could have popped up, not only those features in the Backdoor Pilot, and it would have finally given the Canaries the spotlight they deserve and the Shadowhunter-Fans another show to watch, so in short: Why make false promises for over a year, if you are not willing to deliver? Not cool.

 26. Kara‘s and Kate’s friendship replaces Barry‘s und Oliver’s after Crisis on Infinite Earths (Supergirl/Batwoman)

Marc Guggenheim promised us this when „Crisis on Infinite Earths“ aired and the world was still sane. Things were looking really good for the Arrowverse, and no one had any idea the world’s newest health crisis would turn life into „mere existing because suicide is bad“. At this point pregnancy, Shut-Down, unfinished seasons, Melissa not extending her contract, and Ruby Rose exiting hers were unthinkable. We should have at least gotten one more Crossover which would have delivered on this promise – in the current season to be exact. But someone decided not to recast Kate Kane because of their Super Ego, so no .. this only happend Off-Screen in Season 1 of „Batwoman“ and that’s it. I am not even sure Kate will be mentoned in the final season of „Supergirl“ at all, however even if the „Whatever happend to Kate Kane“-Storyline should get resolved in Season 6 of „Supergirl“ rather then in „Batwoman“ that would be the end of that and in no way be a worthy heir to the epic seven years spanning Olivarry Friendship.

 25. „Supergirl“ and „Superman& Lois“ airing side by side

 That was the dream. Has been the dream for fans since Season 2 of „Supergirl“ when Tyler first appeared, and has been the plan of the producers since around „Elseworlds“ when they started planning the Spin-Off. Now, Covid and Pregnancy combined and pushed Season 6 of „Supergirl“ backt to who-know-when, while „Superman & Lois“ got a much shorter season then it would have gotten under normal curcumstances, so they won’t air on the same night or even during the same period of time. Which also means that all those mini-crossovers we would have gotten – remember back when „The Flash“ first started and how many Characters from „Arrow“ ended up crossing over into the new show? – won’t be happening now. Which is a shame and very frustrating.

 24. „The Atom“ Spin-Off (Arrow/Legends of Tomorrow)

Now, this one was fist mentoned when Ray Palmer showed up in „Arrow“ back in Season 3. Instead we got „Legends of Tomorrow“ with him as the de-facto Male Lead in it. Which was probably the better Spin-Off then, but now Ray has left„Legends“, they did introduce Ryan Choi, and yes, if I could pick the Spin-Off I would want to see right now, it would be „Atoms“ starring both Ray and Ryan along with their wives. I have no idea how Fairy Godmother Nora would fit into „The Atoms“, but I am sure if one tried, one would find a way. But of course there is no way this is happening anytime soon or anytime at all. Not only because Brandon is now in „The Rookie“, but mainly because someone behind the scenes is clearly pushing for baggage-less Spin-Offs like „Wonder Girl“ or „Nomi“. We did not get „Green Arrow and the Canaries“, might not even get „Painkiller“, and are most definitly not getting an „Atom“-Spin-Off. Which is just wrong and missed opportunity in the size of the Moon.

 23. Harry and H.R.-Team Up (The Flash)

I never expected the Arrowverse Shows to be „Orphan Black“, but until recently they had all those Doppelgangers and hardley ever did something with them. Now Harry and H.R. are the only Main Characters ,with whom the writers actually did something with the fact those two are Doppelgangers and around at the same time, but to be honest, this makes it even worse, the carving for those two to meet, interact, and riff of each other. Because they actually worked well together, and it’s a shame they never got a storyline o rat least en episode where they had to team up and so something together. The Council of Wells is nice, but mainly just for fun. H.R. is the least Wells like Wells, and Harry everyone’s favorite Wells (Eobard does not count), so why did no one ever write something great for those two before they went and killed H.R. off?

 22. Sam sacrifces herself tos top Reign and Alex adopts Ruby (Supergirl)

First of all, I do like Sam, I didn’t want her to die. But the problem is that literally everything about Season 3 was building toward this. Normally everyone bitches about the writers killing off characters, but in this case, it was a grave mistake not to kill off someone. Sam’s Guilt about Reigns crimes, Alex’s bond with Ruby – all of this was literally for nothing and stopped dead with Sam not dying. Somehow getting rid of Reign magically solved everything for Sam (or not, because she was written out between Seasons, we don’t really know if she ever got over her trauma), while Alex’s Adoption Storyline went nowhere and was put on indefinite hold after that one episode in Season 4, where she almost got a baby. Worse, the writers actually admitted that they had planned this, but then changed their minds because they did not want to take a mother from her child. Which just means they were and are cowards – if you compare „Supergirl“ to the other Arrowverse Shows, there is one major difference and it’s exactly that one – only villains and side-characters die on „Supergirl“ (and M’yrnn whose storyline bascially was dying), in other words less heartbreak but also less courage is found here.

 21. Nora dates Spencer Young (The Flash)

Spencer Young was conceived as Nora’s Love Interest, who was to lure her into the Young Rogues at a later point of this season, but something went awry behind the scenes with the actress it seems, so the storyline was pushed back and back, and Spencer was replaced in every episode she was meant to be in after the first one by other characters, until she was eventually dropped alltogether and Bug Eyed Bandit got her gadget, so that a least some of that storyline could get a pay off. As for Nora’s Rogue Love Interest Weather Witch ended up getting this role, which just about works, but given that there is no real foundation there, the romance was only implied and never took off, which is too bad for the shows‘s Queer Record.

 20. Cat remains Kara‘s boss (Supergirl)

„Supergirl“ has changed so much over the years, that is actually kind of impossible to say how the show would have turned out, if certain elements would have sticked around. One of the biggest casulties of the change in style and tone was the loss of Cat Grant as a regular character, and it’s hard to say what the show would have looked like after the first Season, if she stuck around, but it would sure looked have very different. Now I am not so sure we would have gotten Lena Luthor the same way into the show we got her in reality, if Cat wouldn’t have left, but there is no telling, after all Lena quickly went from a kind of mentor character to a female friend, so maybe not much about this would have changed. However James‘ Storylines and all the back and forth with who is owning and running CatCo would of course not have happend like that either, and I think „Supergirl“ would in the end have been a more coherent show because of that. Plus Cat was the best character in the show and having her around would have made everything better anyways.

 19. Anissa meets the other Heroes of the Arrowverses (Black Lightning/ The Other Shows)

This could still happen in the next season or so, if the actress is willing to go to Canada and come back to Anissa Pierce after the end of „Black Lightning“, but even if it happens, it wouldn’t be the same. Due to curcumstances „Black Lightning“ ending up on Earth Prime was just for cosmetics, which is sad, because what’s the point of a Shared Superheroes-Verse if your characters can’t interact? Am I the only one who would have wanted Anissa to meet Kate (never going to happen now), Sara, Barry and Kara? I don’t think so. Sadly it wasn’t to be.

 18. Iris and Kara have a Journalist Team-Up (The Flash/Supergirl)

 This is the one thing fans have been asking for, the producers pretended to listen to, but still ignored. It could happen during the current season, but I have my doubts. The window has closed, and no one knows why this never happened. We did have Iris team up with Lois and Clark during Crisis though to recrut the Paragon of Truth, which was a Journalist Storyline, if you will, but all the fans always wanted both Iris and Kara to have actual Journalist Storylines, but we rarley got them. Yes, teaming up on an Inverstigative Story was always difficult while they were living on different earths, but it would haven been possible nevertheless. And on Earth Prime even more, but no, it was more important to do that endless Mirrorverse Storyline than to have, I don’t know, Iris and Kara break an Investigative Story about Lex to bring him down. Well, maybe we will get another Iris/Lois-Team Up with Journalism rather than Multiverse Saving Topics instead at a later point, but we sadly won’t get a Iris/Kara/Lois Team Up like that.

 17. Amaya meets Charlie (Legends of Tomorrow)

I don’t know why they did not do that. After all Charlie pretend to be Amaya in Season 4 so often, it kind of would be obvious to have them meet at some point. It’s the same actress for God’s sake! But I guess the main reason we never saw that was that „Legends“ has short seasons. Season 4 had only 16 episodes and Season 5 only 15, of which one was the Crossover, so only 14 they could use, and they just ran out of space to insert a meeting between those two ladies that would have had any reason to happen beyond the fact that fans would have wanted it to happen. I am normally all for things happening for storyline reasons and not only for them to just happen, but in this case, I would just have taken it happending without any compelling reason.

 16. Leo meets Leonard (The Flash/Legends of Tomorrow)

I would have payed extra-money for this to happen. But I do get why it didn’t happen, because if you come right down to it, we only had Leo for five episodes across two shows, two of those episodes being part of the Crossover, which left three episodes, that really had other things to do than to bring back Leonard just to have him meet Leo. On the other hand those two were so different, it should have been an obligation for the writers to make it happen somehow. Maybe at least in a vision or a dream or something like that. Gah, I wish Wenworth Miller would just come back in the flesh as any of those two to our shows….

 15. Joe and Cecile as Older Parents for a Newborn (The Flash)

This Season 5 Storyline was cut short, when Jesse L. Martin had to take medical leave from the show. Which is too bad, because it was the very reason why Cecile became a Main Character in the first place, and was an important part of the original Seaon 5 plan, which would have three sets (or rather two and a half sets) of parents: Barry and Iris, Joe and Cecile, and Orlin. Now we got a sort of aimless Cecile for the most part of the season, and the very problem the show actually wanted to avoid in the first place: Jenna merely existing, but not being there for most of the time (but this got way worse in Season 6, if we are honest). Real Life can really be a bitch sometimes.

 14. A Flashback about Sara joining the Legaue of Assassins (Arrow/Legends of Tomorrow)

We were promised this before Season 3 of „Arrow“ aired. Of course the only reason we were promised this was to obscure the fact that Sara would be killed of in the premiere. Same for all those fotos featuring her a part of the main cast and all that jazz. Still, Caity was contracted for Season 3 and showed up in a handful of episodes, but all we got was Maseo saying that he joined the League around the same time Sara did. Since then Sara came back to life, and we still have not gotten that flashback. Why? I know the initial statement was a purposeful lie, but that does not mean we did not want to see that. On the contrary we have been waiting for this since Season 2 of „Arrow“! And we are still waiting. But it does not look like we are ever going to get it.

 13. Oliver meets Jefferson (Arrow/Black Lightning)

I am kind of miffed about that. I wanted Oliver and Jefferson to growl at eacht other, showing us who is better at it. Jefferson only came into Crisis after Oliver was already dead and did point out in Part 5 himself that he never met the man. But he should have. The two oldest Arroverse-Vigilantes apart from the Bat should really have met, just because they are the first ones. But now it will never happen, even if Oliver comes back somehow. (Unless the the new Crossover Strategy is bringing back the characters from the shows that are not around anymore, and future Crossovers will feature Oliver, Kara, Jefferson and his daugthers in the still existing shows instead of having characters from the still existing shows meet, which I kind of doubt, but if that leads to them meeting, I will take it.)

 12. Pay Off for the Tommy Elliott Storyline (Batwoman)

Given how much of Season 1 built that storyline up, an actual pay off would have been nice. But instead the storyline got killed off in the first episode of the new season. And now, before you argue: no, that was not Pay Off. Pay Off would haven been someone other then Luke, who was close to Bruce and knows he was Batman (like his loving cousin called Kate, you know) interacting with Fake Bruce. For episodes. Tommy actually knew Bruce pretty well, so he might have been able to pull a long con. Maybe Kate would have believed him, but Luke would have gotten distrustful, or the other way around, and this would have lead to friction between those two. And maybe this storyline would have eventually even led to the real Bruce Wayne or at least to a clue of his whereabouts. Like I said: Pay Off and not Kill Off. Wouldn’t that have been something.

 11. Laurel comes back (Arrow/Legends of Tomorrow)

Everyone got resurrected in the last episode of „Arrow“, except for Earth-1 Laurel because of the whole „There can be no more Doppelgangers“ business. Now I really don’t see why we can’t just have both of them, but the real kicker is, that the main reason Laurel-1 was not brought back is the Spin-Off, that never was, „Green Arrow and the Canaries“, that was supposed to star Earth-2 Laurel. Now that Spin Off was not picked up after all, and Marc Guggenheim stated that they probably would have brought Original Laurel back in the Finale if it weren’t for the Backdoor-Pilot. Now of course Laurel 2 was the MVP of Season 8, so it would have been a mistake to let her cease into nothingness in the Finale. But they could have just shown her alive and well on another earth in a scene and have Earth 1 Laurel in the other scenes instead. But why did they never bring her back before that? I mean, there was a whole subplot around that in „Legends of Tomorrow“ which ended with Sara not bringing her back, which would be alright, if it weren’t for the fact that another lost sibling that couldn’t be brought back came back on „Legends“, namely Zari’s brother Behrad, which yes, deleted Zari from the timeline and replaced her with a new version of herself, so it wasn’t a cheap fix, but it is just one more reason to be miffed about the fact that Laurel obviously was not important enough to anyone to be brought back anywhen in „Arrow“ or „Legends of Tomorrow“. But maybe there is still hope, I mean two alternate Versions of Laurel were introduced in „The Flash“, so maybe she can still come back there, or at some point in „Legends“ as long as the show is still around.

 10. Ralph and Sue get together and become Partners in every sense (The Flash)

This could of course still happen sometimes down the road, if they do recast Ralph after all, or if Hartley is allowed to come back at some point. Or they could just say it in a random episode that only features Sue. However, it won’t be in the way the the show has beeing building toward since Season 5 (actually 4, but that’s not the point). Back when Sue was introduced, we were blown by the chemistry between those two, dreaming about their own Spin-Off etc. and what has become of it? 2020 destroyed so much….

 9. Two Zaris for Good (Legends of Tomorrow)

Tala wanted that, the fans wanted that, even the writers kind of wanted it and thought about doing it, but in the end, like I mentoned before, „Legends of Tomorrow“ is not „Orphan Black“. „Legends“ already is the most complex Arrowverse Show to shoot, having Tala do double duty for good would have complicated the shooting process even more. Still we love both Zaris, and while it’s understandbale and even right to focus on Zari Tarazi for now, Zari Tomaz is better not gone for good. We might get two Zaris at the end of Zari’s storyline anyway, but until then the best we can hope for is a Caitlin/Killer Frost situation, which might be a problem for both Nate and John, and also is not likely to happen soon, so, yeah, that would have been great, but we are never going to get it.

 8. Ronnie and Eddie return from the Singularity (The Flash)

Well, yes technically Eddie is dead, but his body was sucked into the Singularity, which did not need to happen, if they just wanted to kill him. And Ronnie never actually died, he just was sucked into the Singularity, never seen again, and assumed to be dead (well, without a Partner to replace Martin to merge with him, he should have died by now, but let’s ignore that for a moment). Anyhow the fact that those were sucked in, but Jay’s Helmet came through it, led to the believe that there would be consequences to those two being sucked into the Wormhole. But nothing ever came from it. Not even for one of those two. Season 2 did go down a very different route, and while we are still waiting today to learn what actually happened to those two, it does not look like we are ever going to find out. Which is strange, considering how much time was spend emphasizing this stroryline in the earlier seasons.

 7. Chas returns (Constantine/ Legends of Tomorrow)

It’s still not confirmed „Constantine“ took place on Earth-1, but we always assumed it. And also Chas was refered to in Season 5 of „Legends of Tomorrow“, and let’s face it: John Constantine without his Chas is just not right. Aside from the fact that Chas‘ „Constantine“ Storyline is still unresolved, John need his oldest friend in his life. So not only fans of the „Constantine“ Series would really love to see Chas Chandler on „Legends“. But sadly I doubt this will ever happen - with any actor that is.

 6. Lois and Clark as Parents of Baby Jonathan in „Superman & Lois“

This was after all the initial promise. That the show would pick up where „Lois and Clark“ ended, with the pair as parents, but as parents of a baby not of teenagers. And it was set up this way. Of course we know all the reasons: The claim that Action Series with Leads who have a baby do not work, the problems revolving around Babies and Little Children on Set, the need to write for actual characters instead of mute crying little things, and the fact that storylines for older kids are more interesting than for younger ones, but while we understand all of that and recognize „Superman & Lois“ will be the more interesting show with Teenage Sons in it, the fact remains it is not the show we were promised.

 5. Sydney Palmer (Legends of Tomorrow)

This was set up in Season 1, Brandon did talk about it with the writers and was expecting it to happen as much as we did, and then … nothing. Now he is gone from the show, and we will never get to meet his illusive twin brother. Everything concerning Syndey is strange, starting with the fact he never seemed to be around, even when Ray was a kid. Of course this might be because the Palmers had a „every parent takes one twin“ situation going on, but even if you consider the fact that Ray und Sydney obvioulsy weren’t on good terms, the fact remains everything about him is weird. There even is fan therory that Ray does not have a brother, and Sydney actually is his alternate personality. Which at least makes more sense than the fact that we never got to see him.

 4. The „Whatever happend to Mon-El“- Flashback in Season 3 (Supergirl)

Normally, if a main character disappears for a certain amount of time, and then turns up again, and the stuff he or she had beeing doing in-between is important for the current storyline of the season, we are told what he or she has been doing, and I don’t mean in words, we are talking about television after all, it’s show not tell. This is why I did assume that we would get at least one episode in Season 3, that would show us what happened to Mon-El in the future. At least a flashback subplot in an episode. Something for God’s sake! But I waited and waited and waited – and nothing, not a single scene. Now they did have the Legion Cruiser, they could just have used that set, and they could have only shown us Imra and Brainy, if there was no other way, but we did not even get that. I never understood why we have never ever gotten to see a single scene in the future, where three of our main heroes have spend a significant amount of their time in, why we never got to see someone from the Legion who isn’t Mon-El, Winn, Brainy or Imra (at this point we never even got to see Nura!), but this particular storyline was teased and actually essential to Season 3, and it still never happened via images, and that I really never understood. There is just no excuse for it.

 3. General Eiling hunting Meta-Humans (The Flash)

Whatever happened to this storyline? I guess the Singularity sucked it up. I don’t think they even picked it up in Tie-In Comics or Novels. It went away when Clancy Brown declined to come back, I guess, but I am not so sure they even asked him. You see, even if the argument was, that he was too traumatized from Grodd to go after Meta-Humans any more (which he wasn’t, we all saw the last scene with him), some underling could just as easy have taken over. I mean Eiling knew about at least two Meta-Humans personally, Barry and Martin, and had kidnapped Firestorm in the past, and cleary did not learn anything from his run in with Grodd, which only came about because Eobard thought he was too dangerous and knew too much to be running around freely, but Barry and the others did set him free at the end of Season 1. Even if he would have been too thankful to come after Team Flash, why wouldn’t he come after all the criminal Meta-Humans out there? This storyline was cleary set up for Season 2 and then dropped like pretty much almost everything else in Season 2 that had been set up to be continued before. Lazy! I know it’s kind of X-Men, but the military going after Meta-Humans kind of was a Must Happen that never happened. But there might just be something along those lines happening in Season 7. However  it does not invovle General Eiling or anything else related to the Earth-1 storylines, I fear.

 2. Green Arrow and Black Canary as Street Fightning Hero Partners – with an without masks (Arrow)

This was the initial promise of the Pilot and all of Season 1 and still remained a promise until that episode of Season 4, I guess. Everyone who knew anything about Green Arrow was expecting this from the show, instead we got what we got, which has not very much to with the actual Green Arrow or DC Comics. I mean. we kind of got a brief glimps at it in Season 2 with Sara and Oliver, but that didn’t last very long. However the writers were still fighting for that end-goal, when Season 5 rolled around, because it sure seemed like Dinah Drake was considered as a Love Interest for Oliver at the beginning. But nothing ever came of it, and Dinah even gave up the Black Canary inbetween, so … no, we never got this, only ever on Earth-2 with Adrian-2 und Laurel-2, where he even called her Pretty Bird. In the end this is the initial broken promise, the first lie of the Arrowverse, and it would be the gravest one, if it weren’t for a certain other Arrowverse-Show that bascially died between Season 1 and 2.

 1.      An actual proper Season 2 of „Batwoman“

Do I even have to say it? I can’t even blame Ruby Rose for that, if I were in her shoes, I would have left too. The person I blame is Caroline Dries. Not only did she not recast Kate Kane, no she also refused to make an established character into the new Batwoman. Politics is only one reason. Sophie Moore is black after all. The other reason is an oversized ego. She wanted to create her own superhero. Which is fine, if you make your own show, but not if you replace your main hero, who your whole show revolved around, after one Season with an Original Character and in the same instance kill off your own story. It would have been better to cancel the show than to do this. I mean, what’s the point? It’s not like Alice can’t function without Kate, but why should we care about the things she does anymore, when her main nemesis is just gone?( Ignoring the fact that she is going to be replaced by Black Mask as the main villlain of the show in this season anyway.) Literally everyone in the show was defined by their relationship to the Wayne-Kane-Family and/or the two Bats. Bringing in someone from the outside does just not make any kind of sense. I mean Luke has a sister in the comics, who actually was Batwoman in an Alternate Realitiy, just saying. So yes, this is the gravest broken promise of all the Arrowverse: The promise that we would actually get a second Season of „Batwoman“, which we did not get, no matter what The CW and Caroline Dries and even Greg Berlanti the traitor are calling the Adventures of Ryan WhatsherFace Wilder.

[sandalaris]

LATE! but for the fandom asks: BtVS and Shadow and Bone? 💖💖💖

BtVS

my favorite female character: At the moment it’s probably Faith. Her journey and her approach to slaying has always been fun and interesting, but I’ve been thinking more about the things that lead her there lately. The bad choices she made and what could’ve gone differently with a nudge here or there.

my favorite male character: Xander Harris. I know he’s grown some hate over the years, but I love him dearly. He still one of my favorite characters of all time to this day.

my favorite book/season/etc: Season five is the best in my opinion. I’m not even sure why, but its just so good. Or maybe it’s just the last really good season of BtVS, because I feel like the show went down hill after that.

my favorite episode (if its a tv show): Hush is just an amazing episode. They do a lot with so little spoken dialogue, and the misdirect with Tara was just awesome.

my favorite cast member: Anthony Stewart Head, I always like him in whatever I see him in.

my favorite ship: I have my OTP, Spike/Xander, but at the moment my favorite ship is Angel/Willow. Every now and then I get back on them and need content, I’m just so damn picky about them and they’re on the rarer side ship-wise in the fandom that I hardly ever find anything I like. :(

a character I’d die defending: Xander! >:( He gets way more hate than he deserves and I am not here for it. I won’t got into a big defense now, many people have done a better job than me at it anyways, but the amount of blind hatred he gets is staggering.

a character I just can’t sympathize with: Warren. It’s not just that he killed Tara, but he entire storyline is basically just him being bitter and angry that life isn’t “fair.” I’d argue that he got way more than deserved from life to begin with.

a character I grew to love: Cordelia Chase. During my first watch through, I didn’t care for Cordelia until about season three. I loved her after that, and she was probably my favorite part of AtS. 

my anti otp I will call it notp until I die!: Spike and Buffy. I shipped them for a half a moment when I stumbled across a random season five episode before I ever started watching the show. Then I actually watched the show and just wasn’t into them at all. It’s not that I don’t see the appeal they could hold for others, but they hold absolutely no appeal to me and I really don’t like the subplot of Spike being in love with Buffy that happened in season five. 

Shadow and Bone, possible spoilers ahead! You’re getting multiple answers for almost all of these, btw :P

my favorite female character: 

In the Shadow and Bones trilogy it is my girl Genya. She had some amazing lines/moments and she put with so much all for the chance at a better life. And she was this subtle badass, fighting back in her own small ways, like the method she used to poison the king. I’m a little disappointed they didn’t show the Queen all fake and plastic looking in the show considering how Genya would purposely tailor her just a little off as revenge. I still like her in the show, but she hasn’t yet grabbed me the way she did in the books. I actually don’t think I have a favorite female character in the show at this point.

Nina and Inej mostly tied as my favorites in the Six of Crows books, but Nina made me laugh more which gives her just a little bit of an edge. She’s fun and flirty and doesn’t let anyone, even Kaz, keep her from being herself. She’s also a pretty good grifter, able to use her skills with languages and her ability to read people to get what she wants. 

I didn’t actually like Zoya all that much until later on in the series (a mistake on my part because Zoya is awesome), but King of Scars made her one of my favorite characters. Yes, she’s prickly and prone to jealous sniping when her position is threatened, but she’s also unapologetic in who she is and genuinely wants what is best for her country and people and will do whatever it takes to get it. She learned a hard lesson at a young age that being nice won’t protect her and has fought to keep herself and those she loves/are loyal to safe.

my favorite male character:

I’m not positive he fits the label of “favorite” but I certainly found the Darkling the most compelling male character in the books, and he’s pretty far up there in the show as well. I probably enjoy watching him on screen the most as well, although I feel like in the show Jesper was my actual favorite male character. He was certainly my favorite in Six of Crows books, and the show version of him captures book!Jesper perfectly. 

I wanna say that Nikolai is my favorite somewhere, because I love him so much (he’s funny and sarcastic, which I’m always a sucker for in a character), but I feel like he doesn’t quite count for reasons I can’t put my finger one.

my favorite book/season/etc

Out of all of the Grishaverse, Six of Crows is hands down my favorite. It’s a heist! With young morally-gray criminals who don’t all have this nice heart of gold under it all, who break into-and out of -an unbreakable prison while spouting off witty dialogue! 

There’s only been a single season in the show so far, but I’m excited to see more!

my favorite episode (if its a tv show)

Probably the episode two. There’s something about the way things were revealed and the subtle unfolding of many of the characters that I like. 

my favorite cast member: 

The only one’s who’s name I know is Ben Barnes and I only learned that when he was announced as the Darkling and Tumblr had a meltdown. *shrug* I mostly was like, “that’s the guy from The Punisher. He’s good at playing the villain, so yay.” 

my favorite ship

I don’t want him redeemed in the slightest, nor do I particularly want a happy ending for them, but I love the dynamic between Alina and the Darkling. That push/pull they have, how very alike they are even as they are very opposite, and how she just can’t shake her draw to him and him to her, although he doesn’t try as hard as she does. They have this connection, are insanely compatible, and part of this tragic appeal of them is that in another life they could’ve had that happy ending together. It’s beautiful and tragic, to see how you’ve broken something before you even had it. And there’s something so appealing for me in that, in how their feelings are this tangled mess that can’t be undone and the way they really are the only people who can fully understand the other and the bond that forges between them. 

On a lighter note, Nina/Matthias was my favorite ship in Six of Crows for a long time, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention how much I love Kaz/Inej.

a character I’d die defending

Zoya maybe? Or Matthias? 

a character I just can’t sympathize with

The apparat. I kept waiting to see if his motives were something I could relate with in the books. They weren’t. He’s just a creepy old man who wants Alina to die and become a martyr so he can lead the church in her name. 

a character I grew to love

Probably Zoya. She seemed to be such a stereotypical mean girl in the first book, there only to make things hard on the main character, and I fell for it. She really is so much more than that.

my anti otp

I will accept the term anti-otp just this once because I don’t really have a notp for the show or books. The closest I have is Alina/Mal in the books. In the show I can actually see it and will probably aw over them when they get together, but in the books? He doesn’t seem to care of Alina at all, even as a friend for most of the first book, and gets downright petty and bitter when she’s revealed to be the Sun Summoner. But I can see their friendship in the show, on both sides, and that’s gone a long way for me. It’ll probably never be a ship I love, but I think I’ll probably grow to like it well enough.

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Field of Poppies Part 4

Summary: After being apart for six years, childhood friends Tommy and Amelia reunite under odd circumstances. Tommy is an outspoken young man and Amelia is pregnant and out on the streets. The bond of family can be unbreakable but it is tested often. Especially when Europe descends into war.

Part 4: The Shelbys go on holiday to the summer fair. 

             With school on summer holiday, Polly was at her wit's end with the children. While they mostly played outside, they’d always be in and out of the house banging around, tracking mud on the floor, coming in with scraped knees, or crying about something being unfair. Meanwhile, Finn was starting to walk and was also wreaking havoc, pulling on everything not tied down and making quick getaways.

            So, it was decided they would spend some of the holiday on the road with the Strong family. Of course, Tommy and Arthur weren’t exactly pleased. Seeing as the betting shop was just getting up and started, they couldn’t afford to lose out on money. Polly insisted and said Danny and the other men could handle a few weeks.

            Going on seven months pregnant, Amelia was a bit apprehensive about traveling out to the Welsh countryside. However, Tommy assured her that if she were to go into an early labor, she was in capable hands, probably better than any doctor in Birmingham. It was enough to sway her. They all needed a break from the city’s smoke and mud. Some fresh air was bound to do them good.

             And oh how sweet the air smelled once they were finally away from the city limits. Amelia had been to the countryside before but had never joined Tommy’s family to see their kin out on the road. Her parents would never allow her to be near other Travelers, especially ones who tended to be more nomadic in nature than the Shelbys were.

            But Tommy had told her enough stories as a child to make her interested. He tried to scare her with the stories they would tell around the fires. Try to explain the excitement of spring and summer fairs. It seemed like another world when he described it all. To be out in the Welsh wilderness, sleeping under the stars, riding horses all day, spinning yarns about fairies, it seemed to be a child’s dream.

            Now, Amelia was much more aware of the struggles Tommy’s extended family faced. The prejudice and poverty. None of those issues mattered as a child. They had blinders on so they wouldn't see the ugly side of life. All they saw was the fantastical magic the world still held onto. She yearned to have that innocence back but there was no going back.

   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            On the second day of traveling to the Black Mountains, Tommy was steering the vardo with Amelia sitting beside him. He held the position naturally, letting the reins be an extension of his arms as he guided the two horses along. Arthur was on another horse, riding along while Polly and the other three children stayed in the back of the wagon.

            “Good to be outside, aye?” Tommy struck up a conversation as a lull in the muggy afternoon settled on them.

            “Oh yes.” Amelia nodded. “Good to see the clear sky instead of smoke.” She joked. "I forgot how blue the sky could get sometimes." 

            “Get used to it. ‘Cause when we’ve got everything going with the shop, m’gonna buy a house out in the countryside.”      

            She smiled. “Is that right?” It wasn’t the first time Tommy made bold claims. Once money started rolling in from the betting shop, he started promising things that sounded outlandish even to Arthur. He promised a brand new luxury car to John, a new five story house for Polly, as many horses as Ada could want, and now a house in the country.

            “Like a cottage. Mum, dad, and I used to rent one for the holidays out in Wiltshire.” She recalled. “Cute little place.”

            “No.” He shook his head, the cigarette in his mouth practically just a bit of ash. “One of those fucking big ones. Like royals have. Dukes 'n whatever they are.”

            “Oh, Thomas, please.” She giggled and nudged him.

            “I’m serious!” He chucked the last bit of his cigarette. “Big place, dozens of bedrooms, proper kitchen, riding stables, maids, cooks, everything. We’ll live there with the baby. He’ll have room to run ‘stead of being cooped up in Small Heath.”

            It sounded wonderful to Amelia, like the stories he used to tell about traveling. But it was so far-fetched. “Can we focus just on what we’ve got now?” She wondered. “Tommy, I’m okay with making do with what I’ve got…and what you and your family have given me.” She touched his knee.

            He glanced over at her, his blue eyes so bright in the summer sun. “You don’t think you deserve more than this?” He wondered. “Wouldn’t you rather a nice big house, proper holidays to places like France?”

            “All those things would be nice but if I never get those things then I’ll be fine. I’m okay with what I have now.” She smiled at him to reassure that there wasn’t anything he needed to prove to her or promise.

            Tommy sighed and his eyes returned to the grassy path ahead of them. “I know the baby’s not mine but…I don’t want any other kid to go hungry like we did. Ain’t right how we were brought up. And if I can change that for my family and for the baby then, why not?”

            Amelia felt she wasn’t in a place to tell if he was right or wrong. So, she leaned over to kiss his cheek affectionately. “You’re a good man, Tommy Shelby.” She said softly. “A very good man.”

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            They met up with the Strongs at their camp and together they moved North to go to the Appleby fair. Ada chattered on to Amelia the whole ride there about how fun the fair was. There were crafts and fortune-tellers and horses, horses, horses. She would see all of her cousins and other distant relatives that they only got to see once in a blue moon. They’d race horses, swap stories, share laughs, and her brothers would box with the Lee boys.

            Although the trip took a little under a week, Amelia was in good spirits the whole way there. Tommy was practically a different person out in the countryside. He knew how to survive in Small Heath and knew how to survive outdoors just as well. He let loose a bit, not bothering to dress up and going barefoot a lot of the times. He smiled more and played with his siblings. It was as if he had left all his worries back in the city.

            Amelia thought he was so beautiful in the sun. His smile brightened ten fold, his eyes sparkled, and he moved as if he didn't have any stress on his shoulders. It warmed her heart to see him play-wrestling with John, riding horses with Ada, and picking up Finn to spin him around. For a moment, she pictured her child in the scene. A little boy or girl toddling after Tommy, looking for his attention. Tommy scooping them up and holding them close, just as a father would.

            All she could do was smile and keep her wide-eyed fantasies to herself. But it was so easy to get caught up in the magic of the forests and fields. It was so easy to get caught up in the smile of Tommy Shelby.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

            Ada was right, there was a lot to be said about the fair. Intricately and brightly painted vardos lined up and many people were milling around. There were people washing their horses in the rivers as children played and splashed one another by the banks.

            After a long journey, Amelia wanted to stretch her legs. Tommy walked with her along the river as the rest of the family prepared camp and watered the horses.

            “Pol said your feet might be hurting these days.” Tommy’s aunt was his go-to to get any pregnancy answers.

            “They’re a bit swollen, the heat doesn’t help,” Amelia admitted. Although getting to walk was nice, she was starting to get flushed in the heat.

            “And uh…any word from home?” He kept his eyes to the ground, kicking a stone along their way.

            “While we’ve been on the road for over a week?” She raised an eyebrow at him. “I haven’t gotten any messenger birds.”

            Tommy chuckled. “I meant when we were back home. I mean, we haven’t talked about it much.” He pointed out.

            Her smile faded. “No, I haven’t heard from them. I don’t know if they know where I am but I figured…well, I figured they would’ve thought to try and find me in Small Heath. I don’t know where else I would’ve gone with nothing in me pockets.

            “And the father?” They hadn’t broached the subject before because Polly insisted that he leave the matter be. But curiosity was just too damn tough to ignore.

            “Tom, I told you…”

            “Tommy Shelby!” Someone crowed out ahead of them. Three young men about Tommy and Arthur’s age stopped them.

            His face soured when he saw who was calling him. “Will.” He muttered obviously not in the mood to talk to them.

            “I heard the Shelbys were coming, how the hell are ya?” Will appeared to be the oldest of the three, a tall, broad-shouldered man with dark hair.

            “Fine, fine.”

           "And he's got someone up the duff." Will smacked a hand to his forehead when he saw Amelia. "Shelby, Shelby, Shelby. What a shame! You have to learn how to pull out or these things happen, Tommy."  He tutted in Shelta. "She is a sight though."

            Amelia suddenly felt very self-conscious about the baby bump showing. Of course, she ought to be showing at her stage of pregnancy, but she wasn’t keen on embarrassing the Shelbys. Especially if Tommy wasn’t actually the father.

            “Watch your fucking mouth.” Tommy spat venomously.

            The Lee brothers jostled each other, pleased that he was fighting back. “Still got that mouth on ya, Tommy Boy, haven’t ya?”

            “Fuck off.” He wrapped an arm around Amelia’s waist to steer her away from the brothers. “Fucking lowlifes never know when to shut their mouths..” He muttered under his breath.

            “Still got a fight in ya then? Or are ya too scared to step into the ring with me?” Will taunted after him.

            Amelia felt Tommy’s arm stiffen and he stopped in his tracks. Her eyebrows knit in worry. “Tom…” She warned.

            But he slipped away from her and turned to face the brothers again. “Name a time.”

 ~~~~~~~~~~

            “Ah, it’s never too long ‘til Tommy gets into it with one of the Lees at the fair.” Arthur punched his brother in the arm. “Lucky you got practice with those Birmingham Boys, aye?”

            Tommy avoided Amelia’s questioning glance even though he could feel her eyes on him.

            Polly didn’t even look like she wanted to get into the matter. Men fought at fairs, that was only tradition and it was in good fun most of the time. Besides, Small Heath was much more dangerous than a bout of boxing.

            Around the Shelbys’ camp, there was a buzz in the air of excitement. Music could be heard in a couple of different directions, people laughed and joined each other for a good time around the roaring fires and lanterns. Some girls some yards away were dancing in a circle, their long skirts illuminated by the flames.

            “When can I fight, Pol?” John asked hopefully. “I can take the Lees too!”

            “Hush.” Polly scolded. “When you’re older and you’ve learned how to box properly. I don’t want to bring you home with a broken hand.”

            John grimaced. “I’m old enough.” He muttered.

            “Men don’t pout or slouch.” She said and stood up to tend to Finn who was stirring in the vardo.

            “You gonna kill ‘im then, Tom?” Arthur smirked. “I heard he was…” He made a subtle gesture to Amelia who was talking softly with Ada. The eldest Shelby wanted to mention about how bad Tommy had it for Amelia. It was blatantly obvious to everyone. But neither of them seemed to want to admit it. 

            Tommy tossed a twig into the fire mindlessly. “He’ll learn to keep his fucking mouth shut.” He mumbled.

            “Shelby!” Someone called.

            Arthur grinned and clapped his brother on the back. “Let’s go then.”

            “Tom?” Amelia looked worried when they stood up. “Where are you going?”

            “Gonna go fight, Mel. Tommy’s gonna show them Lees how to throw a good punch”

            “But…” Her stomach went into knots. “Maybe you could stay here and-”

            “Won’t be long, Mel,” Tommy promised.

            “Fine, then I’m coming.” She wrapped her shawl tighter around her shoulders and followed them.

            “Not really for women.” Arthur tried to show opposition to the idea but Tommy didn’t seem to mind. Maybe if she saw him fight, she would know he could hold his own and she wouldn’t have to worry about the betting shop. No longer was he the stick-thin little teenager who was sometimes more bark than bite. No, he’d found his anger and learned to use it to his advantage.

                       The makeshift ring was lit by lanterns and nearby fires. A group was already forming to watch the show. The Lees were riling Will up who was already there, waiting for his opponent. But they all seemed to be in good nature, passing drinks and cigarettes, laughing, and cussing.

            Tommy pulled off his undershirt and handed it to Amelia to hold. She was a bit stunned to see he had a tattoo on his chest. The sun-like lines were certainly new as far as she was aware. But she didn’t mention the ink.

            Arthur was handing his brother a flask, Tommy downing the contents before ducking under the rope.

            The crowd of onlookers was a bit rowdy, pleased to see young blood fighting like real men. Bare knuckles, no weapons, how it was meant to be a Romani man. A good show of tradition.

            Amelia felt her palms start to sweat. Will was a good head taller than Tommy was and seemingly more muscular by his build.

            However, Arthur, standing beside her, looked less than concerned. “He’ll be alright, Mellie. He’s taken down bigger fuckers than this one.” He promised.

            Amelia had seen Tommy fight before, but the last time must’ve been when they were only thirteen. The wiry boy had a habit for picking fights and never staying down even when he was bleeding or had a broken bone. She never seemed to mind seeing him fight while they were in school. But seeing him in the ring with someone bigger than him, it made her stomach flip-flop.

            And Tommy drew out the suspension. He allowed Will to get in a couple of swings, but he dodged them. His size allowed him to be quicker and more agile on his feet. The two circled around each other, fists up by their faces. Will looked smug with himself, confident that he would win. On the other hand, Tommy had fire in his blue-eyes. He wasn't fighting to have a few laughs. 

            “Hit ‘im, Tommy!” Arthur roared after his brother dodged a couple more blows.

            Something changed in Tommy’s eyes as he threw a punch. Amelia could hear the blow land even over the boisterous crowd. She winced and ducked her head a bit. When had she ever been afraid to watch a fight? She must’ve egged on a few scuffles in her day. Goading Tommy to kick in the teeth of the school bully. But when Will landed a punch and she saw Tommy’s head jerk back, she cringed and hid her face in Arthur’s sleeve.

            She could still hear the contact of punches, the sound of the men spurring them on, and the grunts from Will and Tommy as they fought. But she couldn’t bear to watch it.  

            It only took a few minutes before someone was shouting.“Oi, oi! Get ‘im off!”

            “Tom, c’mon, that’s enough!” Arthur moved from Amelia and got into the ring.

            She looked up and saw Tommy on top of Will, pummeling his face. Arthur ripped his brother off.

            "Got fucking devils in them. Those fucking Shelbys are rabid." Someone nearby remarked.

             "Aye, get it from their father. Murder in their blood."

             "Do not let me hear you talking about her again." Tommy threatened in Shelta before he finally let his brother steer him away from the ring. He spat on the ground, leaving the Lees to help an injured Will off the ground. 

            Coated with a sheen of sweat, Tommy was breathing hard. Even in the dim light, Amelia could assess the damage. It seemed Will had taken the brunt of the fight. Tommy only walked away with a bloody lip, a bruise forming on his jaw, and some dirt sticking to his torso.

            “Go wash off and calm the fuck down,” Arthur ordered before heading back toward the camp.

  ~~~~~~~~~~         

            Amelia followed Tommy to the river so he could wash the blood and dirt away. She lingered behind as he knelt down on the bank and splash cold water over him.

            “What did you say to him?” She wondered.

            “Nothing.” Tommy shook the water from his hair and wiped his hands over his face.

            “Well, you said something, Tom.”

            He stood and took his shirt back, using it to dry off a bit. “It was nothing.” He said again.

            They stood in silence for a bit. Music still hung in the air as the night wore on. There was an uproar from the crowd, signaling the start of another boxing match.

            Curious, Amelia stepped toward him and splayed her fingers out over his tattoo, following the direction of the lines. “This is new.”

            Tommy felt like his skin was on fire even after the cold douse of water. He couldn’t find the words for a long moment, simply watching her slender fingers trailing over the inked lines. “I-uh…you can’t tell Pol about it.” He tried to hide his stammer. “She’ll fucking kill me.”

            Amelia laughed softly and withdrew her hand. “Alright.” She agreed. “Your secret is safe with me.”                    

            He smiled and threw on the shirt to conceal the tattoo. “C’mon.” He murmured and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

Permanent Tag: @papa-geralt-of-cirilla​ @giftofdreams​ @biba3434​ @kimmietea​ @karmezii​ @enrapturedbythemoon​ @vampgirl1997​

Tag list: @shelbyblinded​

Masterpost

PB Masterlist

[jcmorrigan]

A while ago, I promised a Tales of Berseria headcanon dump, and this is all incredibly specific and based on my own reading, and I know no one else is going to agree with these exact interps or even the ships that built their foundation, but hey, here I go anyway

SEXUALITY/ROMANTIC ORIENTATION

Velvet Crowe: Lesbian. I first got an inkling she liked women in the prologue, when she was teasing around with Niko about “If you were a boy, I’d be in love.” True, she said it was a good thing neither was a boy at the time, but given how much the citizens of Aball drill ideas about marriage into Velvet’s head, it seems like a very heteronormative society and not that progressive. It’s a rural village in the middle of nowhere; what do you expect? Later on, Velvet would grieve heavily for Niko, in a way that I feel is reminiscent of a lover, and when it comes to Eleanor, she participates in “Women are mysterious creatures” rhetoric about her - the kind men usually say about women. Also has a fair share of soul-bonding moments with Magilou. I personally find more ship chemistry for her with any number of the women in ToB than any of the men.

Magilou: Bisexual. Seems to have an interest in Velvet. One particular victory screen has her joking with Phi about how if you can’t touch Velvet’s sword, everything else on her is fair game to touch. That’s wlw at least. However, her relationship with Bienfu of all things is where I get the impression she’s attracted to men - her talk of “punishing” him physically during nights at the inn read a little like innuendo to me. (Yeah, I just implied she has a sexual past with the Normin.) She also welcomes attention from all genders in general as to how amazing she is.

Eleanor Hume: WLW asexual. I don’t really have definitive subtext to point me toward ace, but I recall my own experience thinking I was morally upstanding because I wasn’t sexually active when my teenage peers were, and Eleanor, given her devotion to the Abbey and her pride in meeting its standards, just seems like she could have the same story: thinking she’s morally upstanding because she doesn’t act on any sexual urges, only to realize that’s because she doesn’t have them the way her teammates do. I already mentioned the subtext tension between Eleanor and Velvet - Velvet is the only person I can really pick out potential romantic chemistry for Eleanor with. Because of that, I’m not certain if she could also be attracted to men or not, as I don’t have any good samples.

Rokurou Rangetsu: MLM. I went back and forth between gay and bisexual for a while. For one, Rokurou has that scene when he talks about how women can break your heart worse than any danger in the field (and Eizen agrees), implying he’s had a past dating women. He also at least feigns interest in knowing about Velvet in the hot-spring bath. But this is underscored by a punchline of just wanting to make Phi sweat. Rokurou’s archetype of the heavy-drinking, optimistic idiot often comes paired with “womanizer,” but that wasn’t present here. And there was also the scene where he commented on how Velvet’s ragged outfit must be cold in Figahl only for her to scold him on ogling her - which I suppose can be read as him discreetly ogling her, but I see it more as him looking at Velvet in skimpy clothing and having the go-to reaction of how practical it must be in the weather. His chemistry with Eizen drips romantic to me, given how they share drinks and argue for fun.

Eizen: MLM. Same case as Rokurou - mentioned having his heart broken by women, and joined in on the Velvet-in-the-hot-spring discussion, but also expresses lots of affection toward Rokurou that was likely written to be platonic but comes across as very close. I’ve also seen the popularity of the Eizen/Zaveid ship, and given that Eizen told Zaveid his true name, which “can be seen as a confession of love,” there’s definitely subtext for that as well. So, again, whether gay or bi (or pan), I am not certain yet.

Laphicet: Bisexual. Obviously is attracted to the illusion of Edna and, to an extent, Velvet in the inn scene in Meirchio, but bonds with Videl intensely and devotes a major part of his life to making Videl’s dreams come true.

GENDER IDENTITY

Magilou: Transgender, identifies as very female. This was actually something I got an inkling on very early when some of her victory screens had her making jokes about her weapon in the way that some might view as phallic (I’m thinking especially of the one where Eleanor and Rokurou are talking about the benefits of short weapons, and Magilou says “Mine can be as long as I want!”). So I was of the mind that Magilou perhaps did possess a dick, and that actually got weirdly reinforced when she lifted her book-skirt to fluster Phi and he said “I wasn’t expecting that” - the joke is he was more interested in the books, but in the subtext, I’m reading that despite him definitely knowing what a cis woman’s nether regions would look like (Eleanor is his vessel), he didn’t expect something about Magilou’s lower half. So I was thinking either pre-op transgender or intersex (I’m not certain what types of gender reassignment surgery or artes would be available in Desolation). When all of a sudden, her backstory was revealed that as Legate Magillanica, she had a whole identity and a name that she erased (going so far as to say “Magillanica” is dead), as well as a background growing up in a conservative/religious household with Melchior, and, before that, being passed around to guardians who didn’t love her, leading to her feeling emotionally repressed. And all of a sudden it all fell into place: her story really parallels transitioning. So now I love to just complete the analogy. We know she was going by she/her pronouns at a young age in her traveling show, but we also know that she was exhibited at a “freak show” due to her high resonance. It’s possible she was also advertised as (insert a horrible slur about androgyny here). If she was already well-known going by she/her, Melchior would probably have wanted to keep that intact so as not to cause a stink in the Abbey. But, Melchior being the horrible person he is, he probably also thought Magilou was fit to stand as a legate where no other woman was because she was “male” to him. Anyway, by now, at least the other women on her team have seen her naked and have nothing negative to say on the subject - the party knows and they love her.

Laphicet: I actually see him as a little genderfluid based on a couple of throwaway things. For one, when the party discovers the “unicorn horn” (narwhal tusk), there’s a big discussion about how only a “maiden” pure of heart should be able to pick it up. Velvet offhandedly says Phi should pick it up anyway because it’s his quest. In the end, the myth was dismissed, but I rather like the thought that Phi sometimes identifies more female and therefore could fill the bill of being a maiden pure of heart. His/her personality also influences Innominat, whose outfit of choice is androgynous as far as gender-specific fashion conventions go (and also really spiffy). Most days, Phi is male, but some days, not as much. With his status at game’s end, it also feels a little more fitting to say that such a guardian of the world should be less adhered to one side of the binary.

NEURODIVERGENCE

Eleanor Hume: OCD and anxiety. It’s outright mentioned how she takes responsibility and guilt for everything, even things that have nothing to do with her and aren’t her fault - a telltale marker of OCD. She’s also introduced as being emotional and teased for being a “crybaby,” showing that ordinary situations can easily push her over the edge. I’m only talking main party, else Kamoana would be her own entry, but Kamoana canonically has panic attacks that manifest as fevers according to Mahina’s note, and can be “cured” with placebos. Eleanor’s arc is linked to Kamoana throughout, and the moment where this is revealed is one in which Eleanor is outlining her similarities to Kamoana and how that should mean Kamoana would resent her. I feel like this draws a pretty blatant parallel between Kamoana’s rampant anxiety and Eleanor’s, and how Eleanor jumped to the worst-case scenario only to be shown that the child she worries about has something very big in common with her that might actually be a bridge between them rather than a wall.

Eizen: Autistic. Infodumping is a major character trait of his, and there’s an entire skit dedicated to talking about how “picky” he is about his routine, needing to wear his clothing in specific ways and dock at the same place every time in Port Zekson.

[verminator-rex]

Tales of Berseria: My Thoughts

Warning: Possible Slight Spoilers Ahead

So after some consideration, I decided to give GameFly a fair shot and try to rent some games that I’ve been wanting to try out fo a while. Sadly, you have to pay a subscription in order to use it, but I digress. I was searching for a good RPG game when Tales of Berseria appeared. I looked at the trailers and thought, “looks pretty cool”, so I decided to rent it. And man, I did not expect to like it as much as I did!

I’ll start with the cons first since there aren’t that many, at least from my perspective. It is an anime-styled game, and consequently it kind of falls victim to some anime tropes: ongoing monologues, little movement in animation, attractive females in skimpy attire (which anime is almost infamous for), and so forth, which is pretty much expected tbh. At times, the background music isn’t especially engaging. Some of it is pretty good, but there were definitely some I felt could have used a little more energy. Perhaps my biggest complaint is that you can’t really screen or vid capture in the game much, if ever at all. It’s a shame, cuz there are some pretty cool action shots in the game.

Now for the pros. The story itself is nothing new, for it starts out as a typical revenge story, which I rarely get into. However, it steadily progresses beyond that, and becomes a tiny bit of a coming of age story, as it does talk about change. The atmosphere is absolutely beautiful; it really sucks you in to the world we’re introduced to, with each place we travel to having a very distinct feeling. I always appreciate that in games.

Honestly, what really stuck out to me were the impeccable characters. Frankly, it’s too many to count; they’re all so memorable and each one has their own development going on through out the story. None of them are perfect, everyone is a at least a little selfish. That said, they always know who the real villains are and they always recognize their flaws, and thus they strife to better themselves in order to achieve their goals. What really pulls them through are their distinct personalities, which work really well off each other. My fave character is definitely Velvet Crowe. She’s your typical stoic protagonist that’s very brooding and cold, yet is also analytical when the situation calls for it. As th game progresses, we see a legit soft side that she doesn’t show to many people out side of her core group, and even then it’s not until she finds herself through a series of emotional events. It’s all the more effective when she meets a young boy whom she names after her brother, Laphicet. Initially, Laphicet, or Phi for short, seems to not know where he belongs in the world, and Velvet pushes him to find that out. In return Phi helps Velvet heal her heart, and they form a legit brother/sister bond. I love that, it’s so brilliantly done.

While the gameplay is also nothing new, it’s still a ton of fun since you get to explore quite a bit of territory and fight different enemies, and pull some very cool and flashy combos and special moves. The ending is so bitter sweet, but also very moving in its own way. Not every character gets a happy ending, at least in a way that one would expect. I don’t dare give it away, but let’s just say it’s the emotional highlight of the entire game, and it’s brilliant. Speaking of emotion, every emotion that’s suppose to play out definitely plays out. As a result, it was funny at the appropriate moments and it was sad at the appropriate moments. Plus, give it some credit, the anime scenes look very spectacular. The movement is fluid, and the emotions pop. This is what animation should be. I was honestly sad when it was over cuz I literally wanted to see more! In the end, that’s a good complaint to have.

So that’s my official review. I can safely say this game is one of my personal favorites. If your a huge fan of anime, and especially of the “Tales” series, I definitely recommend this game. If your not such a fan, then this probably won’t win you over. Then again, I’m not that much of a fan of anime or the “Tales” series, and yet somehow this game won me over. Take that for what it’s worth I suppose.

Final Score, 9/10

Please note that these are just my opinions on the game. If you find yourself disagreeing, I respect your opinion. All I ask is that you respect mine in return

[somepinkthing]

MDZS Gods AU: trickster god!wwx

[god of justice!lwj][the jiangs][nies jgy and xy]

Cangse sanren was the god of the wind and protector god of travelers, female warriors, and rebellions. Humans often called her the god of freedom due to both her duties and her demeanor. She wasn't a cruel god and she helped wherever she could but she had little care for consequences and responsibilities. She did whatever she felt like and would often cause trouble without meaning to. Until she met her husband

Wei changze was a human. He was brave, funny, and kind. He was a rogue cultivator but usually could be found making toys for children. He wasn't terribly strong but he was smart enough to use what he had.

He was utterly unimpressed with cangse sanren when they first met (she was visiting the mortal realm under disguise) but still worked to help her save the village they were at when fierce corpses attacked because it was the right thing to do. She was impressed by his inventions and his aura and he was grudgingly impressed by her skill in battle and her lack of care for what others said about her

True to form, cangse sanren fell in love and married this human without consulting a single soul. People assumed the lord baoshan sanren had given their blessing since the couple never faced any issues on that end

They had a son. With her newfound outlook on life, cangse sanren didn't want her son to make the same mistakes she had, but from the beginning it was obvious he took after his heavenly mother much more than he did his human father. Children of gods tended to inherit more than just eye color and jaw shape--they inherited parts of their parents' very beings. However, wei changze reassured his wife that while wei ying was part god, he was also part human. There was room for him to wiggle and grow. Plus, they'd raise him on the mortal realm while they lived and teach him to respect life, both mortal and immortal

Cangse sanren dubbed her baby the trickster god--protector of outcasts, rebels, and inventors

Trickster god so he would remember to laugh and have fun

Outcasts so he would remember to be proud of his demigod heritage instead of ashamed

Rebels as a nod to his mother (wei changze's idea)

Inventors as a nod to his father (cangse sanren's idea)

Wei changze dubbed his baby wei ying

They wanted to give him all they could before they had to leave him. Coupling with a human, giving birth to a demigod child--cangse sanren had long since given up her immortal status. The last of her magic went to her baby. Only her status as baoshan sanren's top pupil and jiang fengmian and yu ziyuan's sworn sister kept her connected to heaven. And wei changze wasn't immortal to begin with. They would raise their child while they still could but, with his immortal body, wei ying would still be a young child when they inevitably passed.

There was fear that they might have to adjust his title, no one had ever encountered a demigod before

See, the gods either inherited their roles or they were immortals who cultivated enough power or did enough deeds to earn a title from their mentors. Children of gods usually were gifted a title by their parents; it was typically some mixture of their parent’s roles. This is so they would have guidance while settling into their responsibilities. Wei ying wouldn't have that. His parents wouldn’t be around for his most turbulent years. They had to choose a title he could fit into himself

Luckily, wei ying grew into his duties with ease. From a young age he was exuberant, friendly, and free. He was a rule breaker and a warrior like his mother but had his father's innate sense of right and wrong to ground himself with

When tragedy struck during a night hunt, the suddeness of cangse sanren's death shocked heaven. In the chaos, wei ying was lost. Gods don't count years the same way humans do so they can grieve for decades, sometimes even centuries, at a time. Wei ying spent who even knows how long on the streets of yiling until the jiangs found him. Amazingly enough, it didn't twist his personality at all! In fact, his experience seemed to only endear him to his role even more

Jiang fengmian was ecstatic to find his shijie's child. Yu ziyuan was... conflicted. She had never accepted her own sworn sister coupling with someone beneath her and this child was a result of that union. She didn't like the idea of her children being put at the same level as this half human. Also, while she loved cangse sanren, she was well aware of how everyone else also did. Who wouldn't love the god of freedom over a war god? But eventually her guilt at not being there for her shijie's last days and her fond memories of their bond made yu ziyuan cave.... reluctantly

Wei wuxian grows to be associated with laughter and good humor. Most people pray to him before a banquet. Actors pray to him before a play

Thieves also pray to him for luck. It was a point if contention between him and a-qing when she was younger but he quickly won her over by helping her prank the more stuck up gods

Many forget he also serves as a protector, but those who need him never do. Contrary to popular belief, the prayers he most often answers are from those seeking his protection. A child hiding from his bullies. A mother desperate to get away from her husband. A woman with dreams of glory in battle but none of marriage. A man who knows he's a man but no one else will believe him. He protects those shunned from society, those who others look upon with scorn. And he does these things quietly. These moments of desperation are no one's business but theirs and the trickster god they pray to

His animal is a crow. Intelligent and playful. The other gods gave it to him as a joke, meaning to tease him by giving him am animal that eats carrion, but he took to them so wholeheartedly

His relationship with lwj in this au is still rocky. Their life experiences and ideologies do not mix well at all when they first meet. While I wouldn't say they hate each other, wwx's definitely more openly critical towards lwj in their younger years

[seasaltmemories]

Tales of Berseria Review/Analysis

So Berseria is my first Tales game I’ve played, but despite all the praise I’ve heard for many of its titles, I knew I wanted to start here first and foremost.  Having not only having the first solo female protagonist and a darker story of revenge kept me glued to the story.

But to go more into the summary:

Many hundreds of years before the events of Zestiria, the continent of Midgand suffered under a terrible curse called "Daemonblight". Ordinary humans and animals became possessed by evil spirits and were transformed into bloodthirsty monsters that preyed upon the living. That was until the day a saviour named Artorius Colbrande appeared and united the world against the bestial hordes that threatened to destroy it. Wielding a holy sword and a philosophy of "reason over emotion", Artorius causes the Advent of angelic malakhim into the world, and leads the Exorcists of "The Abbey" in a crusade to eradicate Daemonblight once and for all.

Yet in a dark prison cell far from human contact lies a woman named Velvet Crowe, whose peaceful life was shattered three years ago in one of the "Scarlet Nights" that used to inspire terror the world over - the same night the rest of the world knows as the Advent. Velvet knows the terrible truth of how Artorius gained his divine strength during that Scarlet Night, an incident that twisted her left arm with daemonic power, left dark scars upon her former kindness... and left her bereaved of her little brother. One night, a mysterious woman, who Velvet suspects she knows, visits her cell. The woman has a proposal: if Velvet can escape from the prison, the woman will help her take revenge upon Artorius. With burning hatred in her heart, Velvet embarks on a quest that threatens to uproot and revolutionize the world order.

If you can’t tell, this game is a prequel to Tales of Zestiria, which I never played, but as I was more interested in this and had absorbed a lot of plot points from mutuals who loved Zestiria I thought I would be fine.

And starting off I was really endured by the cast.  As you can see, you kick off the main story breaking out of prison and most of the rest of your party are other outlaws, criminals, and morally ambiguous figures.  At first they mainly work together out of mutual self-interest, but after accidentally kidnapping a young Malek, corrupting/raising him begins to bring the party together

I gotta say Act 1 was my favorite part of the game, Velvet is a sharpened sword brought to life living nothing more for her revenge.  And her quest brings an actual moral dilemma, Artorius is bring peace to a world on the verge of chaos, yet what is that peace worth if it came at the price of an innocent life?  Is it worth burning down the rest of civilization to get vengeance for her little brother?

Aside from this, her growing her growing relationship with Laphicet, the young Malek is also interesting, in a fit of trauma she named him after her younger dead brother and the sibling-like bond they develop make it seem as if she is taking out a lot of her grief through projecting onto him, it’s all fascinating stuff

However I found things started to drag for me during Act 2, plot-wise we have to take some time from directly pursuing the revenge plot bc Artorius is too strong atm, and i understand that out of universe we need to give time to explore the rest of the cast, still this really hurts the momentum of Velvet’s arc

And while I enjoyed the rest of the cast, none of the stuff we got focused on them ever felt like it reached its full potential whether individually or game-wide, part of this might be my fault as it seems there might have been some side quests i missed (although I tried to stay on top of most of them and what I got never seemed to be very necessary for getting the main plot) still i feel like if you’re going to make me run all across the world it shouldn’t be that hard to weave more in, there’s just a lot of focus on past backstory rather than active story moments which is frustrating on top of what I previously mentioned

Going into Act 3 spoilers, things did pick up, until then I had tried to construct a consistent morality of the game and came up with the idea that, “sacrificing for the greater good isn’t inherently wrong, but often those who are asked to sacrifice had no choice in the matter” the plot twist of Laphi having been in on the sacrifice and now acting as Innomenant really was great, shaking both the narrative and Velvet, making almost all the pain and hurt she had inflicted on the world for nothing.

The moral ambiguity gets a little simplified when the stakes escalate to world-ending levels, while it fits in with the other themes of independence and free will, it does make our group that gleefully dragged small children with them on assassination attempts into undeniable good guys, not a bad choice but it does leave most of the rest of the narrative pretty straight-forward

I also feel like i never got a good grasp on the lore, like part of this is also me looking stuff up, but Melchior and Artorius seemed to be not human or very old and apparently followed that Claudin guy, but i don’t know if Innomenant was always their main goal or what

As for the actual ending, this is when I really felt like it would be more emotional if I had played Zestiria before bc a lot of stuff felt as if it should have been more meaningful

Ranking the Cast:

1) Phi: the beating heart of the narrative, bringing everyone together and growing into such a strong person, like i said the highlights of the narrative was both his slow “corruption” and then how he matured and began to stand up for himself, his speech to Velvet in the Earthpulse was 10/10

2) Velvet: what can I say, give me a morally ambiguous lead girl and I am hooked, i feel like they did a good job of balancing out her closed off new nature by giving the audience just enough information to know how she must really be feeling, which made her more than just “angry and revenge” focused, but I feel like bc of the break in the 2nd act a lot of the immediacy of her trauma and desperation was kinda lost

3) Magilou: a fun character that worked as comic relief a lot of the time, but the teases about her backstory/true nature were great, and I especially love her scene where she single-handedly holds back Melchior to save the rest of the party, still this is where some of the “only getting to hear backstory” stuff really began to drag on me

4) Eleanor: a good foil for Velvet and solid member of the party, adds good world-building, however I was less invested in her development bc a lot of it was centered around Kamoana who just irked me, after getting such a good kid character with Phi, she was just so baby-ish and ended up dragging Eleanor down

5) Eizen: Nothing wrong with his character, but i feel like he definitely would have meant more to me if i was more familiar with Zesteria, contributed to the themes and had a nice relationship with Phi, but I again a lot of his more personal character moments just weren’t delivered

6) Rokurou: As a character I like him, especially in Act 1 his relaxed personality is good for the party’s chemistry, I just could not get into his arc at all, there’s just a lot of generic ‘I need to get stronger vibes’ and what pathos surrounding it isn’t really utilized the most effectively, like in a game all about family and people going to insane means for them, the fact he just really wants to kill his brother should be a big deal, but while you can read between the lines about likely having a pretty shitty childhood but again I wish we had seen more of that on-screen stuff, for a guy defined by his anger, we don’t actually get a lot of it explicitly which makes it hard to connect,

Also with the ending, I knew Velvet had a tragic fate and I feel like her sacrificing herself was fitting, I guess just the way the last cut-scene was shot gave everything a happy and triumph tone which didn’t really fit, Velvet’s fate seems pretty shitty and so at least getting to mourn that/a more tragic but necessary tone would have made it slide down easier

Overall I may seem so critical was bc I really wanted to love this game, and while it didn’t deliver everything I want and fall into that adoration camp, the fact it left with so much to talk about is definitely worth something

[aki-chan2014]

Decided to get a start on using some of  @ofmymuses list of aesthetics to create/develop a set of OC concepts, with a picrew, drawing and a moodboard for them. Here is the first, for ‘The Scripturient’. I will also be making ‘the catalysmic’ moodboard and hopefully posting it today too (and if not then in the next few days), so won’t tag the OP of the list in that one (but if you do see this, check that one out too if you like).

Anyway, here is Teller Crow, SHSL Cheerleader. He is a Danganronpa OC (these days, most of my OCs are), and I got his name from a YA novel called Catching Teller Crow. In the book, that title is a list of three surnames, but in this case it is of course a first name and a surname-though his first name is actually his Dad’s surname, but more on that in a moment. As the novel also focuses on Aboriginal people, I’ve made Teller part Aboriginal-I am thinking of making a fully Aboriginal OC but that’s for another time and I’m digressing. 

(This has turned out to be longer than expected so I’m sticking the rest under a cut)

Teller was the result of a fling between his American father out on a summer break during his university years (he was only 19 at the time) and his Aboriginal mother (specifically of the Wurundjeri people) who was a few years older and working in a cafe. Unfortunately, Taki Teller’s (he’s half Japanese) break was cut short by family emergencies and thus what was ordinarily meant to be a summer fling was cut even shorter, and so he never learnt that Anna Crow was pregnant. He also never learnt that she died when Teller was one year old, and that he was put into foster care since no relatives were willing or able to take him in. At least, he didn’t learn it until a few years later when, after things at home had stabilised, he decided to go back to ‘finish’ his holiday and thought of looking up the pretty girl he’d met the last time, only to find out the truth. 

It was a shocker, and remember at the time of learning this, Taki himself would still have been very young. But for what it was worth, as soon as he learnt about his sons’s existence, he looked into adopting him and bringing him back home with him. Admittedly, part of this was motivated by the fact that the family emergencies back then had eventually resulted in bereavements, and he thought he had no family left. But still, he stepped up, and finally when Teller was five they went home together for the first time. 

It’s not easy, being a single parent of any type, but Taki did a splendid job. Being mixed, he’s aware of the importance of heritage, and so while for the first few years after the adoption they couldn’t go back to Australia due to finances he’s made sure Teller knows all about his mother’s heritage and once the finances were fine, they visited regularly. But in addition to that, they bonded over hiking and nature-related activities, and baked, went on walks, watched sports matches, all sorts of things. Teller has always had a thing for story-writing, and Taki’s bought countless notebooks, journals and how-to-write manuals and things to help him develop his skills. 

He was also fully supportive (if initially baffled) when Teller, after watching one match, decided that what the cheerleaders were doing was far more fun than the actual sport. You’d expect that Teller would get a lot of flack for wanting to do something stereotypically associated with girls, but while he has received scepticisim, confusion, and inappropriate questions about his sexuality (for what it’s worth, Teller is cis and straight...he just continues to find the cheerleading more fun than the sports the cheerleaders are cheering for), for the most part he’s been well received. He’s made the news a few times, since male cheerleaders are still enough of an oddity/curiosity to make the news, but he is well loved in both his school’s squad and his local squad, and has cheered in a lot of matches, and has a good group of friends. Teller is likeable and breezy, approachable and kind and enthusiastic about life. Quirky and unconventional what with the cheering, exponentially growing collection of feather pens and over-enthusiasm for cupcakes, but he is well-liked. 

Teller’s days have always been packed, since he spends a lot of time in cheer practise, then stays up late writing (stories, diary entries, all sorts), and this on top of his schoolwork, helping around the house, part-time job at the local bookshop, quality time with his father and socialising with friends etc. But he’s always managed it. He has endless energy and spirit, but since two years ago, that spirit has been dampened. It’s hard to see unless you’re looking closely, and even then you may not find it, because he’s been trying to hide it. Because the thing that caused it...people have a hard enough time believing even the most ‘typical’ victim of such an incident. How would they react to him? So he’s kept it locked away from everyone-almost literally, the diary he wrote about the incident in is the only one that has a padlock on it-and he is trying to carry on. But it gets harder, and he finds that now, throwing himself into activities and avoiding sleep are the only way to avoid the demons. And the activity that really helps above all, is writing.  (The ‘it’s torture always remembering’ picture is from the lyric video of ‘My Little Secret’ by Citizen Soldier if anyone is curious. The entire song would fit Teller’s moodboard if one could actually put a song into moodboards)

[deadlysequence]

Sequence 8 - Stand Alone

This is going to be a very long post about my impressions and thoughts about this certain sequence of AC Syndicate and why is in a some way special in comparison to the other sequences of the whole game.

First of all, we know this sequence, "The Joys of Freedom", only last 4 missions and is the last one before the final sequence where the Frye twins must take down Starrick. But as I looked around internet, many people consider this sequence a "stand-alone", which is very interesting point considering the fact is part of the main storyline. Or is it?

Stand-alone means not necessarily part of the main storyline even if the sequence is in sequencing order (eighth one) along the others, but a kind of separate storyline. In fact, this part of the game could easily be a secondary event or even a separated DLC which can't affect the main storyline. Why? While the rest of sequences and missions are mostly  about "Assassins vs Templars", this sequence is all about "Rooks and Blighters' alliance", considering Jacob Frye and Maxwell Roth as the leaders of the Rooks and Blighters respectively, joining together.

First of all is very interesting about how to start this sequence: ended sequence 7 as part of the storyline shouldn't be necessary to access because the stand-alone aspect of the sequence 8. But focusing, in my opinion, the only needed requirement to unlock the sequence:

Conquering Boroughs.

In order to make Jacob to get a letter, is really necessary to conquer three boroughs around London. This secondary mission is especially difficult in the sense of how long one person could take to conquer. Each borough is big territorial speaking with plenty of missions to achieve: capturing Templars, liberating children from the factories, gang wars, capturing strongholds, and more. This mission could take hours to finish and could be comphensive to only require three boroughs to unlock S8.

But in my personal opinion, why only three when you can free all London?

Sure, it will take much longer to free all the city and not all gamers have the patience to explore, unlock all secrets, got money and material. Even considering the difficulty level of each one with Whitechapel as the easiest and Westminster the hardest. And for what? Freeing all London won't influence in the final mission of assassinating Starrick. And conquering all boroughs will only reward you with improving your skills and something else. So... What to make this bother more satisfying with unlocking S8 at conquering all London instead of only three boroughs?

The whole deal of doing this is to make Jacob's reputation to be high enough to capture Roth's interest. After all, the Blighters are been the only all powerful gang of the city for years. The whole deal of a brand new gang challenging them couldn't be go unnoticed by the Blighter leader, no? And of course he has going to take time to study this new threat and by extension, who the Rook leader was.

So in my opinion, instead of three, conquering all the boroughs should be the requirement to unlock S8. And trust me, the sequence only is worth it all the time exploring London.

Now let's talk about the sequence itself.

Is divided in four missions: "Strange Bedfellows", "Triple Theft", "Fun and Games" and "Final Act".

For a standard sequence, this is a very short one (except sequence 1, 2 and 9 for obvious reasons). For a stand-alone sequence this could make sense because is Jacob-only and there's no other characters to be involved. But I agreed with people saying that the whole Jacob/Roth thing should last longer. Only four missions for a very complex and interesting relationship doesn't make sense.

Now when I said about been a Jacob-only, it really means that in every sense: Evie isn't part of the sequence (unless you get into secondary missions in between but she's never really involved), no sign of Henry Green and the other characters, even the historical ones are abstent. Starrick is a constant but he's also an absent character even if his downfall are Jacob and Roth's goal.

So, in short, this is Jacob/Roth-only sequence. Is the sequence about them.

Considering about how Jacob and Maxwell interacted could have the potential of a longer story: If they did something else in between each mission. How they trust one and other despite the facts that they were gang rivals. If Roth's affection towards Jacob could be more noticeable and the Rook be aware of that, feeling similar affections in return.

Let's remember that S8 is Jacob's love interest sequence, which it is a very huge step for the franchise to make the very first LGBT main character in a AAA game. The interview of lead-writer Jeffery Yohalem and Loomer is a very indication of that idea and not only it was the writer's idea but a whole group of writers and makers agreed with the it. Jacob/Roth love story was formed by the group who helped to create the game.

Is very fascinating to see how they interacted around each other. About how Maxwell's constant use of endearments ("Dear", "Darling") to Jacob, how Jacob seems to enjoy this attention he's receiving, staring at Roth in an affective way at the end of a mission, the scene of Roth staring at the crow and asking if he's beautiful when in a very clever subtext he was actually thinking about the assassin, how Jacob flirts back at the start of "Triple Theft" (true, he flirted before but those are more teasing and manipulation than a serious flirt) and how he looked like enamoured of Maxwell in general.

That until the factory incident where Jacob couldn't accept the idea of killing children in order to harm Starrick. But at first he tried to change Roth's mind because this bond is too special for Jacob, and only when he realizes he'll not listen to him, is when the assassin stand against him. He didn't even kill him in the moment, realizing that at the end Roth is very special for Jacob. We know how badly Maxwell reacted to this betrayal, mostly because of a broken heart and we should understand how he was as a person, what kind of experience he dealt in his life to that very moment. Why freedom is so important for him no matter the consequences? Why he's sort of extremist in his ideals? Why he never was a Templar per se despite working for them but at the end wanting to cut it down? Why Jacob is so special for him to the point of falling in love for?

"Everything is permitted" taken to the extreme in Roth's actions.

Many people discussed this and even today there's discourses about why Roth reacted like this and if his feelings are truly honest. But even the most crazy and insane people are capable to love someone, they can't be emotionless for the sake of been the villains. Maxwell is very capable to love, just that he surely aren't used to love instead of lusting for someone (is possible that he had plenty of lovers but Lewis, his assistant, is the only one alive. Surely the others killed because Roth can't risk his criminal reputation with the rumors of sodomy spreading around. Is the Victorian London after all, very conservative and repressive), and at the moment he fell in love for Jacob Frye, for him there's two options: or having a life with him as his lover or been killed by his hands if things went wrong.

And obviously the latter happen.

"Final Act" is very special on its own as mission. There's no more the goal to take down Starrick, no more about destroying Templar influence in London. Is basically a mission so apart of the main storyline.

This is only about Maxwell and Jacob.

When he send Jacob the letter along with the dead crow, it was clear his intentions: giving him reasons to go to the Alhambra by free will and do what the assassin need to do. It is an invitation to the final performance and Roth even wishes the best of luck for him. Who else do that in this way? Roth was angry at Jacob but keep loving him to even saying that.

Of course he couldn't take the thing gladly...

That's why the dead crow in the box. Little Rook meant to be loved by Roth but send it with the neck snapped mean that at the end, is a loss. He just lost Jacob and Roth killed the crow in response, not only as a warning of how dangerous he could be and how many other people are going to suffer his wrath and pain (remember Lewis' warning), but also the end of a relationship, how Roth seen pointless in keeping the bird alive when at his eyes Jacob is far more important than a baby crow. There's also a symbolism here... He snap the crow in the neck, foreshadowing his own death by Jacob's blade in his throat.

I always like to see a connection between crows and Roth. Not only the fact that Maxwell's appearance (he have a raven hair) shows a bit along with his personality, and how this birds are highly used in theatrics, in Shakespeare's plays, mostly the tragic ones. And Roth is about to start a whole play with a tragedy as the ending.

Corvus the Trickster isn't only dedicated to Jacob. Is for them both.

Rooks and crows are part of the same family of birds. Jacob and Roth are also the same in a sense.

Also is important to point out that Jacob went to the Alhambra by free will. He have no reasons to go, it was clear that Roth isn't like the other targets he killed, he have no connections to Starrick, he isn't a Templar and he don't even care the Blighters are almost eliminated. No direct hit to the Grand Master.

Just nothing.

Jacob went there because even if he feel like he need to kill him, also needed and even wanted to be there. Is personal and deep. And is an assassination he don't even want to do and still he had to. And Roth knew Jacob will come back to him. Like magnetism, a chaotic and intense attraction.

That night many rules as changed.

His dedications to the assassin as soon the performance started. How he openly said "And is for the benefit of a young fellow very dear and near to my heart!", after surely years hiding his prefences. Is going to be his last night alive and now Roth is fully embracing publicly his deep infatuation, obsession and love for Jacob with his words. How he constantly invites Jacob to join him in the stage for the finale.

The decoys he placed in the theatre are for saving time, enough to say openly all his quotes to Jacob. To let him know how much he needed him, how much the betrayal hurted him, how much he cared.

How much he loved him.

And yet ready to die at Jacob's hand once all decoys are killed and heard him shouting "Roth! Show yourself!", and ready to set the place on fire with him allowing a murder-suicide.

We know how this ended. How Jacob manage to get him, how much he was in pain when Maxwell was dying. This reaction is very unlike the usual reaction Jacob shown at the other assassinations (except with James Brudenell, Lord Cardigan, but only annoyed with his constant chatting), proving that he grew feelings for the Blighter leader and how his actions hurted the Rook's heart. And Maxwell, unlike all the other people killed who lamented or get furious that the assassin murder them and by default, stopping their plans and projects, he was like glad and victorious. He knew Jacob would came and he does. Just as he wanted, to see Jacob one last time and killed by his blade. And when he answered the assassin's pained questions, he spoke with his experience. He did everything he wanted because the world was too harsh on him that finally he decided to live with his own freedom, knowing that not all people are good and they could betray you according to the circumstances and how rules the society teach or impose, could limited any potential. Roth lived enough to see that is not worth it if that makes him live miserable. Is in the danger and the lack of rules where he could find what he looked for. The freedom to do anything he want, the freedom to make his own choices, the freedom to lead his gang before the Templars came and changed the game, the freedom to enjoy the theatre lifestyle away of Starrick's orders. And when he said "For the same reason I do anything", kiss Jacob and finally add "Why not", is also the freedom to love whoever he wanted.

And he wanted Jacob. At his side and if not, been killed by him.

Because at the very moment the Rook leader turn his back, Roth see his life and freedom pointless and even lifeless without Jacob. As I said, surely Roth had plenty of lovers before but Jacob is the only one who give Roth's life a new sense. He longed for his affection, to be loved in return and working together even after Starrick is gone. For the first time in his life, love was way more important than freedom to Maxwell Roth. He could easily get over it if he was cold enough and go back to normal. But wasn't the case.

It said love can bring the best of people. But also the bad of them. Love is also poison and it was for both Roth and Jacob at the end.

And of course there's Jacob's reaction to the kiss. People said he was disgusted but this not shown in his expression. If he was indeed disgusted, he could yell at Roth or stabbing him again.

But he looked hurt, shocked and confused. And suddenly that become in an upset expression as he stand up, realizing what happened to finally just emptiness in his eyes when he collected the blood with the handkerchief, accepting the kiss.

And when he tries to escape the burning theatre. The broken voice each time he talk, showing the magnitude of what he just experimented. His assassin reflects push him looking for the exit, but his voice and surely his mind all in a chaotic storm, haunting and hurting him like a dagger in the heart. Even after he escaped.

Then we can hear a crow in the background outside as Jacob was coughing because of the smoke inhalation. Remember what I said about Roth and crows? I don't know but this could be inspired in "The Raven" story when the man tries to move on from the tragedy of losing his love one and yet the crow spoke "Nevermore". The crow in the background as Jacob coughs and stare at the burning theatre could be a signal of the horror of what he just did and which will never recover.

Now... We all know that people debated if the kiss was the culmination about the Rothfrye relationship, and even if I agreed that it settled many things and how much both were attracted to each other, the indication of Jacob's affection, pain and love is shown during the train scene.

In this scene, Jacob wasn't his normal self, don't even started a joke or something when Evie told about Starrick's plans. He just looked down, depressed, looked at the edge. "Let him have it", as he said with glowed eyes like about to cry, a fake and cracked smile. The very image of a defeated and heartbroken man. He saw that a freedom without limits have terrible consequences. He saw how many people had died in the fire. How he went there despite having no reason to go but needing to be there. How he feel forced to kill the only person who accepted him as a whole, without forcing him to change. Roth never tried to force him into anything, the whole deal was mutual until the factory incident.

How he realized too late that he feel love for him. To have that kiss he never thought he wanted until he had it. And how his words pierced his mind because Roth was telling the truth. Jacob wanted him but at the end, Maxwell Roth is dead by his blade.

That nearly caused Jacob to just give up until Evie mentioned their father and make Jacob to react. At the end there's no time to grieve and lamenting what he did... They need to stop Starrick and the next will come eventually. And surely after finally the Templars are defeated, Jacob will spend a lot of time to properly grieve Roth and having clear his thoughts and feelings about him, to have the courage of moving on, still haunted by the pain of losing a love one but bearable and be able to marry and start a family.

In the context of storyline, psychology and emotional aspects, S8 is the love interest of AC Syndicate where Ubisoft take such step of creating the first male/male canon relationship with a main character back in 2015. Let's give them credit for such brave action despite the controversy this caused just after the official release and seems that is not totally settled down. But it depends on the fans and how they this event.

Now, let's discuss about what kind of changes this sequence could get. After all, in my opinion, this story deserved to last longer, with more cutscenes, more missions, surely interesting rewards and clear indication about their mutual attraction and surely lead to something more (trust me, if they could do that, killing Roth could be even more hurtful for the player).

First of all, if we could add missions (to make S8 to last like 6 to 8 missions or more) and cutscenes:

1) Jacob and Roth, lead their Rooks and Blighters to fight against Templars in the street in a very intense War Gang to keep the Strand liberated (Rooks skills to the maximum).

2) Roth vs Jacob in a brawl fight inside the Alhambra (with Jacob's fighting skills to the maximum and already fought in all Toppings fight clubs to unlock this), in a sort of friendly yet very difficult brawl.

3) Both of them dancing in the stage with the player controling Jacob's steps, with a cutscene of both almost kissing.

4) Parkour race inside the Alhambra.

5) Jacob looking for any important object with Lewis helping him.

6) Cutscenes of Maxwell clearly showing his affections and seducing Jacob in a more evident way.

And well, you can add your ideas about what other missions and cutscenes S8 could had.

So, in conclusion, Sequence 8 truly is a stand-alone and Jacob-only mission which could had potential to be more impactful if the writers and producers didn't decided that the final fight with Crawford Starrick is more important than Jacob and Roth's relationship, developing their personalities and how the player could see that interaction. Subtext is important in this sequence which only a very attentive eye and mind could realize but many people didn't see it in the moment and had their own interpretation about what they just saw. That's why a explicit text could had solved the issue since the beginning.

Sometimes I even dare to imagine this could had been an amazing DLC like the Jack the Ripper DLC. Longer and with a story on its own. No?

But despite that, S8 as a whole become a very important highlight moment for AC Syndicate not only for fans but also for the whole franchise. As for me, as a Rothfrye fan and also a history teacher with a special likeness for the contemporary European history which started with the Industrial Revolution (along with my two trips to Europe, having fondness of London) , this game and especially this sequence, hold a very special place.

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