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#// *and THEY'D FIT!!
spicyraeman · 11 months
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Pics in Astarion's Blackmail Folder | 01/??
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hailsatanacab · 11 months
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A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc
"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."
"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.
"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.
"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"
"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.
"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."
"This is where I live."
"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"
"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"
"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."
"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."
"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."
"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"
"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"
"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"
"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"
"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"
"Please, call me Bruce."
"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."
Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.
"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."
#dpxdc#batpham#i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e#immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner?#and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot#after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section'#danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along#my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom#and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan#(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's)#so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets#dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.'#tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!'#dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again'#tim: scandalised gasp#they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny#duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints?#tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone#everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him#damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills?#how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!'#damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but#2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers#(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager)#on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!!#uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha#spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha#anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun#i wanna make these slides so bad
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sam-reid · 4 months
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You turned your Nicolas into one of us?
Assad Zaman and Sam Reid as Armand and Lestat de Lioncourt INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE 2.03: NO PAIN.
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esmiara · 1 year
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Fashion Chuuya
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thefairmaidenoffandom · 5 months
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so, for all the firefighter!yuuji aus that i adore, i never see any ems!megumi, which feels like a crime
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lesbiankordian · 8 months
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Dazai "I wanna die" Osamu and Chuuya "I wanna kill you" Nakahara
Dazai "I hate dogs but will you be my dog for life?" Osamu and Chuuya "I love dogs but fuck off" Nakahara
Dazai "I wanna die" Osamu and Chuuya "I'll give you a reason to stay alive" Nakahara
Dazai "You're my partner" Osamu and Chuuya "You're my ex-partner" Nakahara
Dazai "I don't feel human but you're the most human person I've ever known" Osamu and Chuuya "I don't feel human but you make me feel like I'm one" Nakahara
Dazai "There were moments when our hearts reached out to one another" Osamu and Chuuya "Mackerel we're in the middle of a mission what the fuck" Nakahara
Dazai "I hate everything about you" Osamu and Chuuya "I can't stand you too" Nakahara
Dazai "Our fate will not end in a place like this" Osamu and Chuuya "You can't die in a place like this" Nakahara
Dazai "Try and amuse me with your lame ass punches" Osamu and Chuuya "Wanna know how to throw a punch?!" Nakahara
Dazai "I trust you with my life and humanity" Osamu nas Chuuya "I trust you with my life and humanity" Nakahara
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kawareo · 3 days
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Transformers Animated is so funny because specifically Megatron doesn't seem to be aware of the fact that he is in a kids' show. This man is taking everything so seriously. He goes for the kill all the time. He ignores all the 'this show is for kids' things around him. He spends an entire season as a cut off head and tries to kill the main cast at every moment anyway. Starscream betrays him again and he kills him. Starscream keeps coming back from the dead like a cartoon character? Megs kills him again. And again. Dumps his body out and goes back to serious business. Heroes keep attacking him? Fuck you he's bringing out a wholeass sword and a gun and he will use them. Never gonna forget the one time where Optimus saves him and then immediately after Megs picks him up and uses him as a shield. Everyone around him keeps doing and saying silly stuff for the funsies and he ignores them. Amazing. Irredeemable. He does not deal with cartoony stuff and mostly ignores anything that is like a kids show.
Like you could pick him up and plop him into TFP or IDW no problem, he's straight up a genocidal dictator. I love him and his non-silly ass
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journey-to-the-attic · 5 months
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the rest of the cast got their new song covers, so i wanted to try putting the others in a band :>
i did want to make it look a bit like an album cover but i have no idea how those are designed so eh?? i also couldn't think of any band or album/song names so. if anyone has any ideas...
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be-an-echo · 3 months
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- and I wanna kiss you, make you feel alright I'm just so tired to share my nights i wanna cry and i wanna love but all my tears have been used up -
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wildflowercryptid · 9 months
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happy new years to everyone, but especially these two and their meddling dragons!
and a lil new years message is under the cut!
i wanna say thank you for the all the kindness i've received in the passing year from all of my beloved mutuals and followers. the fact that ya'll have stuck with me through all my fandom hopping and droughts in art uploads means a lot to me. it's been very encouraging to see how much people enjoy my work, along with all the sweet comments people leave in tags, and it really helps motivate me figure out how to do my art full-time. i have a lot i wanna do this year, ( like build my portfolio so i can finally pursue professional work, ) so i hope everyone will continue to support me going forward! 🥳✨
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somegrumpynerd · 5 months
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I think one of the few times Dust actually laughs - like genuinely really laughs - is when Killer hurts himself. Not like when he's out of control and gets hurt or anything, but just when he like falls over without meaning to or something.
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Like 90% of the time he's focused in on his guilt and self hatred and can force himself not to even crack a smile, but every now and then he sees Killer eat shit and it just breaks him
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temeyes · 6 months
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more timeskip!Tsukki, except he's wearing my pjs from earlier
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Hey, I had a thought for the fantasy au! So on one of the previous versions of the WH website, there was a rhyme for the show that went:
A house is a place with four walls and a floor,
with a ceiling above and a lovely front door.
There's a bed to cradle you safely at night,
and windows to bring in the morning sunlight.
Your house is a mirror of just who you are,
A reflection that tells you to never stray far.
Which I thought might make a good incantation for when Wally properly summons Home (I can't remember if that's ever required for Warlocks but hey, it's still a fun poem regardless).
ohhhh this. i like this...
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bonus og sketch! big ol eyes...
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& no capalet because uhhhh eh nah and also i wanted Home's pendant to be on full display!
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hop-a-lot · 11 months
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an extremely self indulgent idea of bidwell and reddy go demon hunting as priests
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royalarchivist · 4 months
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Pac: Take care of Ramon, take care of Richas, ok? See you on the other side, big boy.
Fit: You can’t just say “big boy” and then just expect me to NOT drag you outta here. [Fit tries to lasso Pac] You’re coming with me. You are not dying today! You are NOT dying today!
Pac: I need to leave, Fit! I’m sorry, I’m SORRY!
Ironmouse: Are you guys like, having sexy time?
Fit: There’s homosexual activity going on Mouse, don’t worry about us, ok?
Ironmouse: You guys, we don’t have time to be gay right now. 🙄
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[ Full Transcript ↓ ]
[ Longer clip ]
Pac: I’m just here to say goodbye to you, Fit.
Fit: Goodbye? We’re not– we’re gonna be fine, we’re going to get out of here, don’t worry.
Aypierre: Yeah, don’t worry!
Pac: I know, but like– I will sleep until the end, you know? I will pass through this moment sleeping, man. I won’t be able to be awake for the moment.
Fit: [Laughs] You know, it's– I mean, if that’s how you wanna go, but– I mean, that- I mean, isn’t that bed kind of like…. I don’t know, it's–
Pac: No no, I will be staying on the sofa, you know, I will be staying on the sofa.
Fit: Oh the sofa. Ok, that’s a nice sofa! Yeah, that is a pretty nice sofa.
Pac: Yeah, it’s a nice sofa right? No, yeah– I’m going to stay on the sofa, you know? So, since I will be going Fit… [Pac starts tossing Fit all his items]
Aypierre: [Not paying attention to their conversation] Is that bigger cell? I don’t think it’s a bigger- biggest one.
Fit: Oh… Thank you Pac, thank you.
Pac: Everything you need to survive, ok?
Fit: Wow.
Aypierre: Wow.
Pac: And if you need this one also, maybe, who knows? [Throws him more items]
Fit: Ohhh, well hey– just take this to remember me by, ok? [Tosses him a photo of himself – the same one Aypierre was carrying all day yesterday]
Pac: [Laughs] Ok, I will sleep holding the picture you know, like this. You know, I will dream about you, Fit. And I hope this is gonna be good dreams. I see you in the other side. Good luck, my friend.
Fit: The other side… Yeah, you know, yeah, we– we– you know? It’s been an honor, Pac. It’s been an honor, you know?
Pac: Yeah, for me too, you know? Take care of Ramon, take care of Richas, ok?
Fit: Ok.
Pac: See you on the other side, big boy.
Fit: I will sing your praise– Oh yeah, hey– [Laughs] Take it easy, big boy. Take it easy, big boy. Actually, nononono– You can’t just say “big boy” and then just expect me to not drag you outta here. You’re coming with me.
Pac: No, I need to leave!
Fit: You’re coming with me. You are not dying today! You are not dying today!
Pac: I need to leave, Fit! I’m sorry, I’m sorry!
Fit: Sorry, there's–
Pac: I’m sorry!
Ironmouse: Are you guys like, having sexy time?
Fit: There’s homosexual activity going on Mouse, don’t worry about us, ok?
Ironmouse: You guys, you guys– we don’t have time to be gay right now, come on. There’s no time.
Pac: No, there’s no time! Oh, goodbye Fit…
Fit: Ok, c'mon, no no no, come on, we got this we got this!
Pac: Goodbye Fit, I’m sorry!
Fit: [Laughs] Oh no…
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thekittyokat · 4 months
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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