#i know...this is clearly a parody of that faith game

[hop-a-lot]

an extremely self indulgent idea of bidwell and reddy go demon hunting as priests

[velvetjune]

List of unrelated Control (2019) things I noticed on my second playthrough:

Langston (highly likely) being behind the Tennyson Report that Trench was investigating: The report loudly criticized Trench and Darling for being “anti-esoteric” by pushing the FBC in the direction of science instead of faith. Langston’s comments that Darling gets away with his strange behavior because he’s charming, disliking but giving Trench some credit for even going with the Panopticon, mentioning how altered items need to be treated better with rituals and kindness.

Langston taking a traffic light altered item to a movie

The archives having Pandora’s box (aka Hiss in a mod box) along with two astral spikes. Why. I fought so much for that extra Darling video and Threshold Kids episode (it was worth it).

Trench, Darling, and Marshall’s inner circle and close relationship that destructed with the investigation into the Ordinary AWE and Dylan. All three of them being figures of the old Bureau Jesse wishes to change (Trench being secretive about the Hiss; Darling with Heston/Polaris; Marshall with the Foundation; All about Dylan). Wish the game hinted at their connection and past more. Maybe they’ll still be in contact through the hotline.

Underhill and Darling being old friends, maybe exes (?) who still care for each other. Honestly, I love the mild one-sided animosity from Underhill for Darling’s research getting more attention (that we know is because he was committing ethical violations with Trench) while clearly having fun hating on him and working at the FBC again. Even funnier that HR was looking into their possible relationship status.

Underhill dropping her career and life in England for mold. Iconic

The sheer difference between Underhill’s shocked and sad reaction to hearing of Darling’s death versus Pope not giving a shit (and saying she’s sure he’s happy as long as he can take in his surroundings). Love Emily

The amount of drama between coworkers and departments. I’m convinced working in HR at the Oldest House would single-handedly be the most stressful job there.

There’s no way the Blessed organization/Chester Bless won’t be a part of a future Control game

Spoilers for Alan Wake 1/2: The night springs manuscript pages reflecting what happened to Trench and Darling. Incredible. But it only feeds into my belief that Alan is great at writing fun, cheesy genre stories. He was made for writing over the top sci-fi or noir mysteries (or even musicals). Let him write a Goosebumps book

Spoilers for Alan Wake: The Vivid Dreams dead letter by Bowker being a reference to the Bright Falls AWE. Being in a lake and seeing shadows that whisper phrases.

Spoilers for Alan Wake: Zane’s shoebox from Alan Wake maybe being o.o.p. that was found in Ordinary, Maine, protecting its contents from the effects of the AWE. The mention back to Samantha Wells from the House of Dreams ARG where Wells communicated with Zane in her dreams. The shoebox effects could be replicated, but it mysteriously went missing in the FBC.

Spoilers for Max Payne 2: The Flamingo altered item on the TV being the same as the logo for the Address Unknown show in Max Payne 2 (…which was a parody of Twin Peaks,, and would later become the plot of Alan Wake 1 and 2)

Spoilers for Alan Wake 2 Final Draft: The HRA video with Darling quoting Space Oddity—“Commencing countdown, Major Tom” (same song at the end of Alan Wake). 665 Neighbor of the Beast for black rock quarry in Darling’s presentation and room 665 for Zane. The Darling music video at the Oceanview Jesse finds in her dream state possibly being filmed at the Dark Place’s Oceanview Hotel. No idea of these were all fun Remedy references to itself for laughs (665 is in Max Payne too), but it truly is incredible that it led to the Zane and Darling collaboration.

[astriiformes]

for the bandcamp post you rbed earlier, what were the cool music recs that you were mentioning in the tags? 👀

Been meaning to get to this ask for a bit and since today (12/2/22) is Bandcamp Friday (meaning all proceeds from purchases go directly to the artists!) I figured it was a perfect time to share recs!

Cheshire Moon are a really lovely filk duo (wonderful humans on top of making wonderful music) with several albums out. Highly recommend their stuff to people who like folklore and mythology, and I am a big fan of the electric violin that features heavily in many of their songs. Some of my favorite tracks of theirs include Banshee, Build Your Wings, and The Witch in Your Story

Run Boy Run are a folk/acoustic/americana group with some really phenomenal fiddle featured alongside their vocals. Some tracks of theirs I really like are Hoot Owl, Under the Boughs, their take on Waterbound, & Who Should Follow Who?

Derina Harvey Band are a Canadian Celtic rock group whose electric strings I also adore, they do cover of a lot of classic sea songs and folk music and I especially like their versions of Caledonia, The Mary Ellen Carter, The Last Saskatchewan Pirate, and Drunken Sailor

Vixy & Tony are a filk group with a REALLY incredible strings section who do a nice mix of some of their own songs and covers of some other classics (their version of Dawson's Christian remains my favorite I've heard, the cello on it alone is just incredible -- also, Dawson's Christian is the best, it's a classic filk space "ghost ship" story), I also quite like We Are Who We Are

Grace Petrie is a queer folk/protest singer whose stuff I have fallen a little bit in love with this year. Her music is often extremely political in the best way but also very, very heartfelt and I think it's my goal in life to be able to write parts like her fiddle player, Ben Moss. My very favorite song of hers is The Losing Side, which I have emotionally belted along to..... a lot this year, but I also highly recommend Northbound, We've Got an Office in Hackney, Storm to Weather, her version of Tom Paine's Bones, Farewell to Welfare, and last but not least by any measure, Black Tie (which is an ode to butch/gnc identity that also got me to cry the first time I heard it over on the transmasc side of things)

The Faithful Sidekicks are a rock filk group that leans equally sincere and comedy (and also are really lovely humans, who I got to hang out with a bit at DragonCon this year!). I know they have a fun new parody album out I have not listened to yet, but some of my favorites of theirs are I Built a Time Machine, Fatty Bolger, Spoons, Meetings, and Sancho Panza.

Beth Kinderman & the Player Characters are some friends of mine who also make really excellent, largely acoustic filk. Someday they will hopefully release their newest album which has some songs I'm dying to be able to buy, but in the meantime I also really like Supernatural Aid, Refusal of the Return (both off a whole concept album that's a feminist deconstruction of the Hero's Journey), The Dread Gazebo, and Across the Water, which is technically about Game of Thrones but honestly, as a non-GoT fan, also just slaps

And for a rapid-fire round of a few more favorite songs: try Ship of Stone by Leslie Fish, Home to Me by Devil and the Deep Blue Sea, Oops We Split the Party by Clearly Guilty, Everybody Hates Elves by Kari Maaren, Neil Armstrong by Cat Faber, Row On by Ninebarrow, Somebody Will by Sassafrass, and Cheshire Kitten by S.J. Tucker

Also, if I can be shameless for a moment at the end here, my filk duo, Astrisoni, has an EP and a rough apartment-recorded single up on our page. We're hoping to maybe get some more songs up next year, but for now there's at least a couple of things!

[pewdiepieburglar]

The fatal flaw of Ace Attorney after Apollo Justice is like. I call it the Yu Gi Oh problem.

So, you know how in Yu Gi Oh originally the world was relatively normal, but then it morphed into this unrecognizable parody of reality where everyone is obsessed with card games?

The same thing happens with Ace Attorney, like everyone in the universe is obsessed with lawyers and everything revolves around lawyers and legal cases and it makes everything feel so stupid.

I think it can be traced back to restoring Phoenix as the protagonist. In the original trilogy Phoenix is like a good lawyer but its not like it's his whole life, its just a thing he does to get to Edgeworth.

And so when he gets disbarred, theres no real reason for him to go back, like he's clearly making enough money as a stage dad/poker player that he can pay for his old office and his apartment, but he can't be the protagonist if he's disbarred

So in Dual Destinies not only is Phoenix now unrecognizable as a character relative to who we was in AJ, but to justify why he's like this they have to attach world shattering importance to his disarmament, like some fucking guy getting disbarred apparently caused the entire country to lose faith in the rule of law. They have to do this so that it doesn't feel like a cheap retcon when they restore him as the main character, but it just makes the whole universe feel so unbearably dumb.

[rollflasher]

Another Sonic ramble

So once again I’m here with one of my rambles about my incredibly subjective view of how the Sonic series should be handled! *Beat*

...anyway.

So, one of the more recurring opinions on the fandom is that Sonic games should be written by Ian Flynn, I have talked before about the gripes I have with his writing and why I disagree with this but this post is not entirely about him, but rather a more general topic that has been bugging me for a long time.

The other day I was watching a video speculating about the upcoming Sonic Rangers, there’s not much to write home since it was pretty well made but there’s a particular part that inspired me to do this post and talk about it with other fans to discuss it.

See, at one point the video critisized the fact that Sonic Forces was written by a Japanese writer because they have to re-write the script in English and that can cause problems with localization, and that it would be better to have western writers from the get-go since Sonic’s main demographic comes from there, while making an off-hand suggestion that Ian Flynn could be a main choice. While I can see where they’re coming from, my response was a simple:

‘‘Absolutely, not’‘

See, I have a lot of issues with this to put it bluntly and I’ll try to break them down and explain them the best I can since they’re pretty subjective in nature, but I’m bringing this up because I want you guys to share your thoughts as well.

So, why does it bug me so much the idea of Sonic being handled by western creators?

In my case, the main reasons are because Sonic loses a core part of it’s appeal because of this, the fact that SEGA of Japan seems to have a better grasp of the franchise’s tone and characters and there’s the very subjective point that, in my eyes, American versions of Japanese franchises were always nothing more than dumbed down products of the source material.

To start with my first point, whenever someone talks about Sonic’s creation, a lot of people are quick to point out that our favorite blue hedgehog and his games were inspired by western pop culture and cartoons, and that is true, however oftenly they forget to mention a core thing that not only inspired, but also formed part of the core identity of this franchise.

Sonic is very inspired on anime, and at heart this franchise is a shonen.

(This image by The Great Lange expresses more clearly what I mean)

Generally, the most acknowledgement anime gets on it’s hand on Sonic is the mentions of Sonic being inspired by Dragon Ball, particularly the Super Saiyan, but there’s so much more than that, as Sonic blatantly takes inspiration from Studio Ghibli films specially in games like Sonic 3, which draws a lot of inspiration from Laputa: Castle in the Sky, this great post shows proof that this is not a coincidence.

And it doesn’t stop there, Shiro Maekawa himself has stated that SA2′s story (and in particular, the characters of Shadow and Maria) draw a lot of inspiration from the manga Please Save My Earth.

Even Sonic’s character design resembles shonen protagonists moreso than the main characters of silent cartoons, don’t believe me?

Sure, Sonic has a cartoony anatomy, no one can deny that, but he also exhibits a lot of traits from shonen characters such as spiky hair/quills (?), dynamic posing, a confident, courageous and energetic personality and most importantly, fighting spirit.

If you compare Sonic’s personality and more specifically, his abilities and moves to, say, cartoon speedy characters like the Road Runner, there’s a pretty big disconnection between him and western cartoon characters. Hell, this disconnection is even just as present if you compare him with a character like The Flash from DC.

Simply put, Sonic acts, moves and more importantly, fights like a shonen anime character. He doesn’t just go Super Saiyan and that’s it. Here’s even a quick comparison if necessary.

And this is important because this doesn’t apply just to him, but the whole franchise as a whole and when it takes a more western approach, all of these details are kinda lost or more downplayed, of course this depends on the artists and there’s YMMV at hand, but I think my point is clear.

My second point is...SoJ has consistently proven they have a much clearer grasp on how Sonic’s world and characters are compared to SoA.

Hear me out, yes, Sonic 06 and ShtH exist and yes, SoJ is not perfect by any means. But hear me out...when did the characters start to get flanderized and turned into parodies of themselves? In the 2010s...and when did SEGA move from Japanese to western writers in the games?

Of course it was more then that since there’s a whole tone shift that came with this decade and the new writers, but it’s not a coincidence that when writing in Sonic started to decay, western writers also happened to get on board with the games.

Besides that, SoA has a wide history of not getting Sonic’s tone and characters, from how they made media without much of Sonic Team’s input, to altering how characters are seen in the west. (Such as how they amped up Sonic’s attitude in their media or how the English scripts of the games featured things like Sonic seemingly barely tolerating Amy while the JP scripts portrayed this as Sonic just not understanding girls all that well instead, or for more recent examples, the addition of the ‘’torture’’ line in Forces). Not only that, but even ignoring obvious infamous writers like Ken Penders, even the ‘’best’’ writers from the western side of Sonic are still not above of giving us Pontaff-esque gems.

Like this one.

Or alternatively, I feel like sometimes western writers on Sonic rely a bit too much on their personal vision about Sonic which may or may not be a good thing, clear examples of this are Ian Flynn himself and Pontaff.

By contrast, while SoJ has it’s own share of notorious inconsistencies when dealing with writing (The 2000s era is a big offender), it seems that for them Sonic hasn’t changed much and this is visible not only on the JP scripts of the Modern games which are for the most part better than the ENG ones, but also things like the Sonic Channel comics and the recent one-shots they made with Sonic interacting with the cast show that for all intents and purposes, the Japanese’s staff vision of Sonic is much more clear and consistent compared to the west. Because of this, I’d rather have a good Japanese writer on Sonic games with the localization being focused on being faithful with the original script than have a more western writers dramatically changing the characters. (I don’t mention the tone since either way, SEGA is the one in charge of that and the writers have to follow that)

My last and very subjective point is that, at least for me, everything SoA does with Sonic involving the writing and canon feels like a dumbed down version of the source material. One of the reasons it bugs me so much that in the latest decade Sonic has taken a more western direction is because a lot of what I pointed out gets lost as a result, even if some of those elements are still there, you can tell they’re more downplayed with products like the Tyson Hesse shorts having a more predominant cartoon direction. If any of you have been following my blog for a long time, you should be aware that just because I prefer the Japanese Sonic content doesn’t mean I won’t give the western products a chance, my enjoyment for Mania, the Tyson Hesse shorts and the movie should be a testament of that, but at the same time I can’t help but being sour about the fact that because of these products, we don’t have stuff like a new anime for Sonic or even a serialized ‘’main’’ manga as an alternative for the comics, and my hype for these products is generally more subdued as a result since I’d wish SEGA rather spent that money and resources on more Japanese content than just merchandise.

In particular, because Sonic is a Japanese franchise with a notorious inspiration from anime, what I get from this is a pretty big contradiction. I know Sonic is much more popular on the west but...is it really necessary for his game or products to be handled by western creators to keep their appeal?

For instance, imagine if Dragon Ball’s manga and anime got replaced by western comics and animated series because of it’s world-wide appeal, would that really be the same?

Or imagine the same thing with Fullmetal Alchemist, a pretty aclaimed anime that has a lot of western influence. Would it really not matter at all if it’s Japanese products were replaced with western ones?

At least for me, it wouldn’t.

And what I said about American versions of Japanese franchises being nothing more than watered down versions of the source material? I have that view because of countless examples.

Mega Man and how the English manuals removed a lot of important information about the story of the Blue Bomber’s game and world, causing a lot of plot holes in the process.

American remakes like Godzilla 1998 or Dragon Ball Evolution being an in-name only version of the source material.

Or the many censored anime English dubs from the 2000s, for instance, whenever I see the Yu-Gi-Oh! dubs, I only see a very dumbed down and childish version of a show that was originally a shonen.

And I know that all of these things don’t have to necessarely get lost since every creator is different and there’s franchises like Avatar which are made on the west but draw a lot of inspiration from anime and I’m aware of that, and I want to make it clear that I’m not trying to say that American writers are not allowed to work on Sonic, what I’m trying to say is that inevitably there’s always gonna be some culture dissonance and clash when writers from another culture handle a foreign franchise. And even with examples like ATLA, I think being made by one culture while being inspired by the other is actually a big part of these franchises appeal and it’s something that can’t simply be replicated by handing it to creators from that specific culture they draw inspiration from.

I think James Rolfe’s quote about the same thing with the Godzilla franchise sums up how I feel about this.

‘‘It’s like champagne, anybody can make their own and call it champagne, but unless it’s from Champagne France, it’s not real champagne’‘

So, this last part was very subjective, but I think this post in general sums up why I dislike so much the idea of Sonic having western writers specifically in the games or just focusing more on that side in general.

But what do you guys think? I guess I am too biased so that’s why I wanted to ask for opinions and discuss this topic.

[margridarnauds]

Scattered Thoughts on Treason: The Musical

[warning for some critical discussion]

The Cold Hard Ground: 

First song I listened to. 

God, we’re getting DARK. This is seriously a mix between a villain song and a hero song, and I’m HERE for it. 

This is the one I’m possibly most interested in, because it’s really making me wonder how they’re going to portray the plotters: Are we going to be seeing them as fanatics, or as heroes, or somewhere in-between? In this song, it looks like Catesby is a man broken by grief who turned to fanatical religion as a way of coping with his own suicidal tendencies. 

“So TAKEEEEE MEEEEEEEEEEE. You won’t BREEEEEAAAAAK meeee, it’s too late to SAAAAAAAAVVVVEEEE MEEEEEE.” 

GOD those final notes are going HARD. 

At first, I thought that it was rather scattered, musically wise, but the more I listen to it, the more I think it’s brilliant because the music comes together by the end, as Catesby seems to calcify in his convictions. 

I’ll be really curious to see how anyone but Hadley serves this, but a solid 80% of this song, at the moment, is built on his impressive performance. I’ll be really curious in knowing how the livestreams went. 

Take Things To Our Own Hands: 

Honestly, my favorite song on the album, probably one of them that I can best visualize on stage. 

WE NEED TO THINK OF A WAAAAAY TO BRING THE WHOLE SHIP DOWN.

Favorite vocal moment: When all the conspirators’ voices join one another, and then the moment at the end where it sounds almost like a church’s choir. 

I absolutely LOVE the slick folkish feel to this, paired with the driven pace, it’s like if “The Story Told” from Monte Cristo decided to go folk, I love it. It really has a feel that I don’t see many musicals going for (Hadestown being the closest, though it goes in a jazzier style than this) , and that’s something really in its favor. If the rest of the songs follow this level of quality and tone, this musical is going to be a really, really fun ride.  

Also, it’s very interesting in terms of how, even though this is the conspirators’ “Pump Me Up” song, there’s this very DARK overtone to it, which makes sense given what they’re proposing. Their voices go increasingly hard, almost into a staccato, and I wonder how much of that is diction VS them showing how hardened and increasingly radicalized the conspirators are becoming. 

That being said: “I once had influenza but now that’s all gone when things turned sour”?????????????????? I’m trying desperately to wrap my head around this lyric, it sticks out like a sore thumb.

The lyrics in this particular song are, admittedly, its weakest point: They tend to be very, very repetitive, but, in all honesty, it doesn’t really bother me - It works with that mood of the conspirators becoming radicalized. 

I know that Hadley tends to get most of the kudos for this song, but the other conspirators (Waylon Jacobs, Oliver Savile and Emmanuel Kojo) deserve MASSIVE kudos for their performances, I’m seriously going to be looking into all of them after this. 

The Day Elizabeth Died 

I started off not really caring for this song, but I’ve really warmed to it. 

I’m really curious about who the main singer in this song is supposed to be, because I feel like that will really change how I feel about the lyrics specifying that she had “An inch of makeup on her face”. If we’re supposed to view this from the perspective of a devoutly religious 17th century Catholic woman, I can understand it more than a Protestant woman, given that it really, really works with some misogynistic stereotypes about Elizabeth. 

So, the singer’s apparently Anne Vaux, which makes sense. Okay, I’ll give them this one. A little period-accurate internalized misogyny can be good for the soul. 

I LOVE Rebecca La Chance’s voice. It’s so wonderfully clear and strong, delicate, but with steel beneath it. 

There’s something almost....wistful, melancholy, and isolated about this song? It strikes a very odd balance between being sympathetic to Elizabeth (some say she died of a broken heart) while condemning her reign. 

ALSO. BEST VOCAL MOMENT ON THE ENTIRE ALBUM. “We mourned for her, she was our queen, and for 45 years, she had reigned supreme.” And then the conspirators coming on with “WE DID NOT MOOOOOURRRRN FOR HER. SHEWASOURCAPTOR.” I could, legitimately, listen to that bit alone on repeat, I’m actually obsessed with it. That odd, conflicted feeling between Elizabeth having been Queen for longer than most of England had been alive, providing a sense of stability, while also the very real persecution that English Catholics were under. This is the kind of nuance I really want to see the musical carry forward. 

Blind Faith

I don’t really know what to say except that Martha Percy’s love for Thomas Percy is juxtaposed with Thomas Percy’s feelings for Catesby. 

Literally. 

That’s the song. 

If this musical ever develops a fandom, there are going to be a hundred Catesby/Thomas fics, with James/Thomas being the darkhorse fic. 

It’s hard to judge this one, simply because it’s much more conventional love song - It sounds similar to, for example, “That Would Be Enough”, if Alexander Hamiltpn decided to blow up George III instead of join the American Revolution. It’s a TWIST on the conventional love song, but it still follows similar beats. 

But I DO love how their voices go together, the song really starts to shine when that happens. 

That last “This path was MINE to choose, he has nothing to prove”, probably is the best vocal moment. 

Overall, I don’t have MANY thoughts on this song in comparison to the others, but I can also see myself warming up to it over time. 

The Promise

“His face is quite nice” It’s VERY obvious they’re going for a queer comic relief interpretation of James, which I honestly have mixed feelings about given that he is, clearly, going to be the one that our protagonists are trying to get rid of. There’s.....something about that, a bunch of presumably straight protagonists ganging up to kill a stereotypically portrayed gay man. I know that historically, James WAS, but.....I still don’t like how stereotypical they played this one. Someone could point to Herod from JCS but, in all fairness, Herod was written in the 1970s (and, tbh, given that the central relationship in the musical is Jesus and Judas, you could argue that the entire musical is very, very homoerotic, which makes it less glaring.) This is...well, I’ll have to see how the musical deals with it. I’m willing to give it a fair shake, but they might have set themselves up for danger here. 

But Daniel Boys is, admittedly, serving this song on a silver platter. 

Really, really going into the Spoiled Child Route here. 

If it sounds like I’m disappointed with this song compared to the others, it’s because......yeah, I kind of am. Musically, it’s fine and a little catchy, lyrically, it’s fine, but that nuance I’d been seeing in the other songs goes out the window. James isn’t my favorite historical figure of all time (Bro basically set up the English Civil War), but there still HAD to be a better way to do him justice than this. 

It doesn’t hurt that, unlike the other songs, which were demonstrably TREASON, this one is very much.....a JCS/Hamilton rip-off. Like, it’s very, very blatant. 

Love the rising strings when Percy tells him that Elizabeth is dying, that sense of tension - It does remind me a little of something I heard in The Pirate Queen, but you know what? I’ll give it to them. 

Lowkey obsessed with Oliver Saville’s eyebrow raise when he says “You could save England.” 

The problem is that they’re leaning so hard into the comic route that, when James says that he’ll be a fair king, it really, really makes the Catholic nobility sound dumb as Hell to listen to him. Like “Yes, man who routinely, gleefully sings about cutting off people’s heads, I’ll listen to you!” I know they’re desperate but....come on. 

But also. THAT HIGH NOTE. Daniel Boys really put 110% in there. 

Overall, my takeaway is that this musical could either do very, very well or very, very badly, depending on how they play it. It’s hard to judge because the public only has access to 5 tracks (except for the lucky ducks who bought tickets to the stream, where they got access to 10) - It’s hard to judge a musical based off of 5 tracks, and a musical about the Gunpowder Plot with, say, a love song called “Blind Faith” almost sounds like something out of a parody, something destined to be one of those flops that go down in history. BUT, that being said, the musical has some very strong vocal performances and some really good music, when it keeps to its own mood and style instead of trying to go off of what other, more successful musicals have done. There’s some real, real promise in this musical, and I’ll be both anxious and excited to see how it all turns out (and if they ever offer a full purchase for the live recording......I’d honestly probably buy it.) It was a shame I found out about it so late in the game, because I’d have totally bought tickets to the stream if I had known earlier. 

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched (and books I read) - Week 26

I flew to Israel for a month long vacation, but was stupidly turned away at the border and had to spend some days in Latvia before being able to return home.

The upshot of this screw-up was that I had a chance to finally read G.G. Marquez’s ‘Love in the Time of Cholera’ (- full text here!) crying and laughing continuously and enjoying every minute of it. A perfect bookend to my favorite ‘100 years of Solitude’.

I’m going to start reading good books again!

Best book of the week!

✴️                 

And as much as I loved Marquez’s book, I hated the 2007 limp, Telenova-style adaptation of it, with Javier Bardem, full of cinematic cliches and devoid of any real feelings, magic or poetry. Boring and truly disappointing!

✴️               

The first 10 minutes in Gus Van Sant’s sad film Sea of Trees sums up the premise: Matthew McConaughey travels to Aokigahara, the Japanese "suicide forest," planning to end his life among the quiet, beautiful trees.

And the last 5 minutes wraps up the story in a moving way.

Recommended!

✴️                

3 by Steven Soderbergh (2 of which are about Spalding Gray):

✳️✳️✳️ Gray’s Anatomy, Gray’s fourth and last stage monologue about an eye condition he suffered from and the outlandish, alternative remedies he tried to heal it with (Indian sweat lodges, Philippine psyche surgeons, raw vegetable diets, etc.) Funny but graphic!

I didn’t know he also acted in porn films, but I’m not too surprised.

✳️✳️✳️ And Everything Is Going Fine is a traditional biography that Soderbergh edited after Gray’s suicide, from clips and TV-interviews, a disappointing capture showing Gray as a self-absorbed, neurotic story-teller.

(There are about a dozen of Soderbergh’s ‘personal’ films, as well as his Ocean trilogy, that I haven’t seen yet, and which I should watch now that I have the chance).

✳️✳️✳️  Also, Bill Hader’s parody of Spalding Gray, Parker Gail’s Location is Everything, which is actually just as deep, or funny, or random as the original. Really, Gray’s was basically a free-associating shtick! 

✴️                     

Soderbergh’s latest, No Sudden Move, is one of his best and most convoluted stories. Another eccentric heist thriller with great performances (except of the Matt Damon role) where everybody turns against and betrays each other.

I especially loved the music note that borrowed so clearly from Chinatown theme’s first chord!

Based on a true, historic background of the ‘smog conspiracy’ and the racism of redlining and ‘urban renewal’.

I will surely watch it again very soon, to enjoy the many, many details.

✴️                

After last week’s ‘Queen of Hearts’ featuring an affair between a mother and (step) son, I wanted to revisit Louis Malle’s 1971 Murmur of the Heart (’Le souffle au cœur‘), a perfectly sentimental bonbon about the 50′s French bourgeois in Dijon, Camus, the Beats and Charlie Parker, with a 14 year old Laurent, who looked just like young Mick Jagger. 8+/10

✴️                   

A man called Ove, a Swedish film with Rolf Lassgård, as an angry, bitter, curmudgeon widower who finds a semblance of niceness in him, after a Persian family moves to his neighborhood.

A standard, sentimental story. Eventually, the only funny parts are his continual failed attempts to hang himself.

✴️                

The Marx Brothers’ last film together, 1946 A Night In Casablanca: Chico must have gone into another large gambling debt, so he convinced the other two to make another movie.

“I've met a lot of pin-up girls, but I've never been able to pin one down.”

✴️              

2 big, loud, dumb anniversary blockbusters:

✳️✳️✳️ 30 years anniversary to Terminator 2: Judgement Day, one of the only “action” films I ever liked.

This is the 2017 3D 4K-resolution version. A blatant Pepsi product placement.

“What’s wrong with your eyes?” 4/10

✳️✳️✳️ 25 years after Independence Day, a cliche-laden video game  with mindless special effects and the worst possible dialogue (“Do me a favor. Tell my children... I love them very much... “)

The destruction was the best part of it.  2/10

✴️      

A conspiracy of Faith, the 3rd part of the Danish Nordic Noir “Dept. Q Trilogy” is a stupid, sadistic thriller about a serial killer who murders children. With Nikolaj Lie Kaas and distinct-looking Lebanese-Swedish actor Fares Fares. I guess the series was trying to emulate Stieg Larsson’s Girl With the Dragon Tattoo series, but even the religious undertones were weak and superficial.

- - - - -

Throw-back to the art project:

Schwarzenegger Adora song

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(My complete movie list is here)

[aion-rsa]

Why the Studio Kept Santa Claus Being in Miracle on 34th Street a Secret

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If you ever sit down to watch 20th Century Fox’s original trailer for Miracle on 34th Street, a few things might appear strange. Right off the bat it’s unique—unprecedented even—to market a new release without any real footage from the film. Other than a few seconds of the movie’s opening titles and an actual shot from the picture’s final seconds, audiences were told nothing about Miracle on 34th Street other than it was “hilarious!” “exciting!” and, dare they say it, “groovy!”

There was of course a reason for this: 20th Century Fox, and more specifically studio head Darryl F. Zanuck, had absolutely no faith in the feel-good holiday movie and didn’t even want the audience to know it was a holiday movie. Zanuck’s insistence that the film open in New York City on June 4 probably added to their skittishness toward the subject matter.

An all-time Christmas movie classic today, Miracle on 34th Street pivots on the marvelous idea that Macy’s shopping mall Santa Claus (Edmund Gwenn) believes he genuinely is Santa—even going by the name Kris Kringle on his identification. And to prove this, he’ll even take the matter to court with the help of a couple of doubting Thomases like his boss, career woman Doris Walker (Maureen O’Hara), and her precocious daughter Susan (Natalie Wood).

An ingenious concept by Valentine Davies, who’d go on to write a book out of his high-concept, and penned for the screen by the film’s director George Seaton, the story enchanted everyone who came across it. Except Zanuck. He didn’t like the concept on the page and was reluctant to greenlight it; and then he liked it even less when he saw Seaton’s cut of the movie.

“[Darryl] Zanuck wasn’t sure it would be a success, so he had it released in June when movie attendance is highest, rather than wait for Christmas,” O’Hara wrote in her memoir ‘Tis Herself. “In fact, the publicity campaign barely talked about Christmas at all.”

Director Seaton’s original pitch was for the film to open in New York City on Thanksgiving, likely in no small part because the movie itself opens during the then quite regionally specific Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. However, Zanuck balked at the idea, believing the film would vanish from theaters quickly.

Some accounts suggest the studio head was knowingly gaming the tiered rollout of theatrical releases in the 1940s—wide releases would not become common until the 1970s—and that Zanuck foresaw the advantage of Miracle on 34th Street playing in major cities during the summer and then trickling down to the smaller and rural parts of the country in the fall. Yet given that Zanuck was reportedly astonished his Christmas movie was doing big business all the way through Christmas, it’s likely he didn’t believe the actual hype his studio plastered in the marketing for the film.

Which brings us back to that trailer. How do you market a Christmas movie where the main character believes he’s Santa without, you know, mentioning Christmas or Santa? The answer was to market a five-minute sketch in which a parody of a studio executive (who seems both as oblivious and ultimately wiser than Zanuck) wanders around the Fox lot hearing studio stars not in Miracle on 34th Street gush about how wonderful it is.

In the trailer, which you can view below, a nondescript boss named Bob rejects Fox’s marketing department for claiming a movie can be both exciting and tender (he insists he doesn’t need to watch it to sell it). However, as he prowls his own studio, he runs into Rex Harrison, the future Professor Higgins himself trying to cut an unconvincing figure as a man’s man. Harrison proclaims, “I never heard laughs like that in the theater before. Don’t miss it… I don’t know if the women will like it, but it’s a great man’s picture!”

Elsewhere, poor Bob bumps into Anne Baxter, who he helpfully reminds audiences just won an Oscar for The Razor’s Edge. After the congratulation though, he’s flummoxed to learn Anne also adored 34th Street but “I don’t know how the men are going to like it [because] it’s a great woman’s picture.”

Finally, the now totally befuddled exec runs into teen star Peggy Ann Garner—just adorably learning to drive—and singer-actor Dick Haymes. Now just what exactly the married with children 30-year-old Haymes is doing in a car with the studio’s teen sensation is never explained. But what is, is that Dick was kept “on the edge of his seat every second” of the film’s last 20 minutes, and that Peggy Ann thought the movie was “really groovy” too.

So Bob finally resigns himself to the fact he needs to watch this sucker, and after he does, he tells us it’s all of those things, and you’ll also love it! Just don’t ask what it’s about!

The secretive marketing campaign carried over to the film’s poster, which put hand drawn portraits of O’Hara and co-star John Payne across 50 percent of the one-sheet, as well as their names above the title. Gwenn’s Kris Kringle, however, is relegated to the background in a brown suit as he hugs young Wood like a dear old grandfather.

Nowhere in any of the marketing are the words “Christmas” or “Santa Claus” even teased. It’s a bizarre gambit for what was so clearly a holiday movie. And yet, it didn’t matter.

Read more

Movies

Why Chronicles of Narnia’s Santa Claus Celebrates Christmas with Weapons of War

By Juliette Harrisson

Movies

Christmas Movies on Disney+ Streaming Guide

By David Crow

When audiences and critics finally saw Miracle on 34th Street for themselves, they were as charmed then as we are more than 70 years later. Gwenn, who’d go on to win an Academy Award for playing Kris, much to Zanuck’s delight (the film also won a screenplay Oscar), instantly became iconic with the kind twinkle in his eye and entirely earnest depiction of a Santa Claus who walks among us. Genuinely, there may be little as endearingly cheerful as watching Gwenn’s St. Nick sing Christmas carols in Dutch with an orphaned immigrant.

Wood’s still convincingly natural performance as the skeptical child who’s made a true believer also made her the child actor of her age and launched her on to a movie star career..

Miracle on 34th Street remains one of the shinier highlights of the Christmas movie canon, and the rare example of a film changing the holiday season itself. Indeed, it was the movie’s actual footage of Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, breathlessly filmed over a few hours during the real 1946 event, that turned the local tradition into a national celebration that would soon be televised from coast-to-coast in the next decade on a newfangled technology called television.

Not bad for a film the studio was afraid to show even one red cap or white whisker of in its ad campaign.

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[evilelitest2]

I have an impression that some fandoms (like Lord of the Rings, Warhammer or Berserk) attract Alt-Right/Neo-Nazis a LOT more than other fandoms (like Song of Ice and Fire). Is this fact problematic for those fandoms?

Oh this question is difficult because I keep finding myself fans of things that Nazis also like, so a lot of my time is spent trying to drive them away from things that I like.  I’m a big Lord of the Rings and Berserk fan (not so much Warhammer) and Nazis showing up is a big problem.  I”m just going to talk through the examples you mentioned as to why Nazis like themt

Lord of the Rings has a lot of themes that Nazis are attached too, its has the conservative theme of loss of glory as things were great in the past and steadily degrade over time, morality as an absolute, a great war, and a largely male dominated story. Nazis tend to be attrached to very mythological stories which Lord of the Rings is, which is deliberatley written  Also the story is full of Catholic themes and imagery (though it is not an allegory cause Tolkien hated that.  Finally, Nazis have a huge fetish for Nordic/old Germanic history, and Tolkien was a Oxford Professor in Norse/Germanic mythology, and LOTRS is both Catholic and Pagan in a way that Nazis like.  So on a surface level the attraction makes sense.  however if you aren’t you know...stupid....then Nazi attraction to Lord of the Rings makes no goddamn sense

Tolkien hated the Nazis.  like he really really hated the Nazis, there is a great instance where he wrote a letter about how much he despises that the Nazis were ruining his field because people kept associating his work with the Nazis.  

Lords of the Rings is about a bunch of people of different races unifying and putting aside their bigotry in order to fight against a force of evil, with people who are close minded or intolerant being shown as bad.  No character in this work.  In the background of Lord of the Rings, one of the major reasons why Gondor fell from grace was that one faction of their monarchs were super into fantasy race science and tore the nation apart (which tolkien shows as bad) and the Numenoreans are British style Colonialists and that is shown as a bad thing.  

While Lord of the Rings has an almost all male cast, what is funny about LOTRS is how...unmaco the whole thing is.  War is not presented as glorious but a sad necessity, and the characters who love war inevitably fall (Feanor, Boromir, Thorin) while those who hate war do better.  Men are shown to cry regularly and are very emotionally expressive, and the book clearly values tenderness, mercy and softness more than traditionally masculine traits.  Unlike most works which lack female characters, LOTRS doesn’t feel like it is about marking an male only space, it feels like he just forgot to include them.  It is really telling that Tolkien was a Beowulf scholar, but his protagonist, rather than being a hyper masculine hero figure like Beowulf, is the sensitive kind and nonviolent Frodo.  

Its also worth noting that as a vet of the first World War, Tolkien doesn’t seem enamored with the glory of war, in fact glory doesn’t play much of a role in his books, war is devastating and scars those involved, Frodo himself can’t find peace due to his battle wounds 

Tolkien is really Catholic and as such there is a huge focus on forgiveness, mercy, and the inevitability of human failure and the importance sympathy.  He is less interested in the power of WILL as fascist works often are, and more about the acceptance of weakness as part of human nature, hence why no person can ever actually throw the ring away.  

Tolkien was also a bit of a Judeophile, he was really inter Jewish culture.    He was also anti colonial, anti Apartheid (he was from South Africa),   Tolkien’s work do have issues with race, but his issues were the anarchic views of race.  

Finally, Lord of the Rings, while it does have some parts of it that are problematic, is in many ways anti conservative.  It is nostlagic for the past, but characters who attempt to regain what has gone past (Elves, Sauron, Feanor) inevitable create more evil than if they had just accepted that the past is past and moved on.  Despite his drawing on Norse mythology, the story is not about a dramatic last battle, but living in a changing fading world.  

Berserk is...more complicated.,  Because while i’m a huge berserk fan, there are things in it that Nazis would like 

Firstly, Berserk is a very Nietzschian in philosophy, its about the power of will, individual struggling against destiny, Great Man narratives with most people being idiots, super grimdark, anti Christian context, a mythic story, its hyper masculine and its ultra violent.  And also quite sexist.

  Gust at first glance could fit a sort of fascist idealized version of a man, and if you only read like the first two chapters of Berserk you might see it as something which Nazis would like it.  Except what makes Berserk good is that it is beyond that, if it was just a violent power fantasy it would have faded with the 90s, what makes it good is when it moves beyond that sort of thing. 

 Even if you don’t read the story as a gay relationship between Guts and Griffith (and you are wrong if you don’t), it is about the self destructive nature of toxic masculinity, in fact that is what separates Guts from Griffith, Guts is able to start to move past his need to be cruel and open up, while Griffith doubles down and destroys everything he loves.  I have a lot of thoughts on Berserk.  

Warhammer Fantasy is complicated in terms of its relationship to fascism, if you are interested I can talk about that latter, but Warhammer 40k,while starting out as a punk anti totalitarian parody, has by this point become almost entirely co-opted by the Far Right in terms of fandom.    Because its a grim-dark parody of totalitarianism that nevertheless creates a world that conforms to a fascist world view, and while the Imperium of Man is an evil administration, it is also the one we are expected to sympathize with as our primary point of view characters.  

So it is really interesting that by a contrast, Song of Ice and Fire, despite being also a grimdark re-imagining of a popular genre, doesn’t really have a fascist fandom.   So here are the reasons for it.   

The story is pushing back against the mythologize of the middle ages that is so prominent in the fantasy genre, a mythologize that fascists themselves love.  Martin depicting medieval society not as a time when things were were simple and there was a clear image of glory war, instead it is shown as being just as murky politically as the modern day 

There are a lot of female characters and toxic masculinity is presented as bad.  Also lots of homosexuality 

Individual human will, while being a factor, is less important in the world of Song and Ice and Fire compared to the larger forces of history which are outside individual control

The story is explicitly anti Romantic and themes like “the Nation” The people” “Faith”  ect, instead all of these are shown as construct made by people

The story is also humanist, and avoiding both the absolute morality so beloved by fascists, but also it doesn’t really demonize people, most characters are shown as a mix of flaws and virtues.  

Interestingly some fascists do like Game of Thrones, but that is another matter.  

[sweetfierceimagines]

If tear drops could be bottled

Request by @shadow-hunter-lover , thank you so much for it ! 

/ Soft Billy x reader in which the reader struggles with depression and he helps her through it. First time I write about this kind of topic so I hope you’ll like it ! English is not my mother tongue so sorry for the possible mistakes, I don’t mind at all if some of you want to tell me were I screwed up ahah, I'll correct it ! 

Warnings / None, I was requested “so much fluff that people get nosebleeds, so you’ll tell me about that ;) Extra long, hope you don’t mind ! I was asked for fluff and one shot, but I'd be down to write a second part ! Tell me if you’re interested !! 

* 

Y/N’s POV : 

It was one of these days. 

Everything seemed fine, Y/N had nothing to really complain about in her life. She had friends, she had loving parents, she had a house, food, education, future, yet nothing seemed to function harmoniously. She would pretend everything’s ok, she would smile and laugh with her people, she would eat a bit not to raise attention, she would wait until she’s alone to break down, and make sure no one can hear her cry. 

On these days, she was sad about everything, but mostly, she was mad at herself for not being able to be happy with what she had. So her rule number one was to always keep her head up and let no one worry about her. It was working well right? 

Or maybe not. 

Most people saw nothing. Yes, her friends from Hawkins high told her she should come more often to their parties, some were wondering silently why she was rushing home after class, but no one came at her place to make sure she was ok. Her parents though she was just being a teenager/early adult struggling with whatever a normal person struggles with at this age, and thought she would come and talk to them if she had something going on, smart. 

This rule made her feel safe in her pain, but it was putting her in a never ending circle. She felt like no one cared about her well being, that no one wanted her to be really, truly happy. That if she left this place tomorrow, they would barely notice. 

So every night she would come back home, rush to her room, lock it and despair, lying on her bed. Sometime she would cry, other times she would just lay here feeling numb, like a darkness was swallowing her a bit more each time. And she felt like she wasn’t strong enough to fight it. 

BILLY’s POV : 

Smoking, driving fast, lifting weight, flirting, repeat. Gosh that loop sure felt good, when half Hawkins wanted to sleep with him, and the other half somehow hated-admired him. He was feeling like the strongest man on hearth as soon as he was leaving this house where he was just the shadow of himself. And once again, he arrived in the parking lot of Hawkins high way too fast, almost smashed the Camaro in a tree, and got out of the car with that James Dean look he knew was scoring each time. Walking his way to the entrance, he noticed the usual little gathering that was annoying him each time : Steve f*cking Harrington, Nancy and Jonathan were talking with the kids, including Max. This parody of a sister he had kept on reminding him how poorly he was loved, but still he cared for her. He just couldn’t admit it. He went closer to the group and made sure he was noticed by throwing his cigarette on the ground, almost burning Nancy’s feet. He was about to yell at Max for hanging out with them when he just noticed someone else. She was surely with them, part of that circle, yet she didn’t look like she was into it at all. She was looking around, her Y/E/C eyes scanning the whereabouts with a sad expression. It was almost impossible to see, as she was keeping on a straight face and a smile, but he knew that look very well. He knew it was the look of loneliness and of self doubt. A look he was keeping away by playing the bad kid, yet a look that always went right to his heart. He didn’t realize he was staring, silent, until Steve taped on his shoulder. 

- Hey. Billy. If you’re here to play the dick go on, we’re used to it. But make it quick, we have a basketball match in twenty minutes you remember that? 

He didn’t even answer, throwing a dark look to Steve. He was about to leave when Y/N turned her attention to the group, and he made sure this eye contact happened. She furrowed her eyebrows, not so sure of why he was being so insistant and, frankly, awkward as hell, but she didn’t move. Eventually Billy left, almost running to the basketball court, his heart pounding like crazy. 

Y/N’s POV : 

It was not really an important game, but since Steve and Billy started to play against each other there was always more people coming, and you could feel a constant tension going on. As Steve’s friend, you came to the games when you could, even though sports really didn’t make you go wild. You were sitting on a bench, joking around with Steve to help his anxiety, when Billy entered the room. He was shirtless, for once didn’t smoke, and looked like he literally put oil on his body. You furrowed your eyebrows, laughing silently at how cliché that boy was, but unconsciously bit your bottom lips, scanning his body. 

- Oh my god Y/N, not YOU ! 

Steve yelled a bit too loud. Billy turned his attention to you, and winked. You just stared for a bit and then shook your head. The match began and you just sat down looking absently at the game. You were not feeling very well, sort of empty and in the same time quite heavy. At some point you felt tears come to your eyes for no reason, and just waved goodbye at Steve. He could honestly not care less, as he was focusing on how to no get completely fucked up by Billy. 

BILLY’S POV : 

But Billy noticed. He stopped for a second, looking at you leaving and all of a sudden, he pushed past Steve and left the court. Everyone was shouting at him, some were booing him and calling him names, but he just nicely raised his middle finger to the crowd and went directly to his bag. He grabbed it, and walked fast to the parking lot while trying to put on his shirt. Halfway through it he yelled at Y/N. 

- Hey ! Hey ! Stop will you? 

Y/N turned to face him, wondering what the hell made him leave a game he was clearly enjoying winning, to run half shirtless to her. 

- Huum.. Can I help you?  

- Yes. Get in the car. 

- What? I don’t know what you think is happening but there’s no way I get.. 

- Get in the car, I'm serious. 

As Y/N just looked at him, not understanding what happened, he took a deep breath and a few seconds to think about saying the right things. The right things. What were these? It had been so long since he didn’t really think about what to say to someone. He took a few steps, standing right in front of Y/N and looking down at her. Strangely, his usual angry eyes were replaced by a sweet look, and Y/N could not lie to herself about how it made her melt down on the spot. 

- Listen, we don’t know each other, and I know I'm probably a messed up problematic nonsense dude to you, and I'm probably. 

The sudden sincerity of the conversation completely shocked her, and frankly, shocked him too. She relaxed, daring to look in her eyes a bit more intensely and laid her back on the car, raising slightly her eyebrows to encourage him to carry on. 

- But I know how to recognize a girl hurting. Or a boy hurting. I mean, anyone really. Not anyone.. aaah what the fuck ! 

- Are you going to offer me some psychology sessions Hargrove? Y/N said with a smile, trying to introduce some fun in that way too heavy atmosphere. Billy laughed a bit and found back his courage, putting a hand next to Y/N’s head, resting on the car. 

- Well, I would gladly offer you any kind of “sessions”, if you know what I mean, but I guess what I really want to say is.. it’s not easy, it’s not ok, but you can get better. And honestly I think you deserve a lot to get better. 

Y/N looked at her feet, feeling tears build up. Nobody told her that. Ever. Nobody showed that they cared about her well being in that way. And even though she barely knew Billy, and his reputation was frankly awful, she knew she could trust him enough to get that vulnerable with him. As she was lost in her thoughts, he gently took his chin with his fingers with his free hand, and made him look in his eyes. 

- Hey.. you don’t have to feel bad alone. What do you say? Will you show a little faith and let me show you the wonders of the Hargrove therapy program? 

As he said this he took a step back and his hands away, leaving some space between them for her to think a bit. He went to the driving seat, sat down and extended his harm to open the passenger door from inside. 

Y/N looked around, searching for a sign to help her make her decision. In one hand, this dude was nothing to be trusted, in the other, she really felt like he could help her, while no one else could. She whispered to herself a “what the hell” and sat down next to Billy, offering her a smile as a confirmation of her choice. He smiled a bit, with that famous corner smile with his tongue slightly liking his bottom lip. He then started to drive, taking the usual road toward his house. 

Y/N’s POV : 

Billy parked the car in front of a small house and got out. She followed, crossing her harms against her chest, as she was always doing when she was anxious. She went into the house and looked around, noticing the workout equipment in the living room, the clearly abusing use of cigarettes, and the lack of affection in all that basic decoration. She looked at him, smiling a bit. 

- You’re anxious. 

He said, just looking at her for long seconds. 

- Sit down, or look around, nothing is really private here. I’ll get you something and we can talk a bit if you feel like it. 

She nodded, going for a little walk in the house. She quickly left Max’s room, not wanting to cross some sort of limit. She looked briefly in the bathroom, noticing some body oil and hair spray proudly standing in front of the mirror. She laughed, thinking that maybe he wasn’t so different from Steve. That hair obsession, damn, what was happening with these Hawkins guys? She then went to Billy’s room. Posters of women in bikini, records, a bit of a mess, that was a typical dude’s room. She sat on the bed, and then laid down, thinking about how he would feel once he was getting sleepy. That was the worst moment for her, when she was getting back home and laid on her bed, ceiling being the reflect of her own emptiness. She heard footsteps and tried to sit down quickly, but failed when she saw Billy coming in the room, holding hot chocolate and snacks in his hands. 

- Already making yourself confortable love? Oh don’t bother, we can stay here if you don’t mind. 

- Yeah, yeah I totally don’t mind. Thanks for the drink, that’s nice. 

Taking the first sip, Y/N smiled a bit. She sat on the bed, her back on the wall, and her legs crossed. Billy gave her a moment, not daring to start the conversation already and lose her trust. He took a few marshmallows, eating while looking at her with a small smile. Why. On. Earth. Was he so nervous? 

- You’re ok? 

- Yes, thank you. That sure feels good, but I'm not sure it’s as nice for you though, I’m not exactly.. great company these days. 

- Don’t be silly, do you see me talking for hours with any of these high schoolers? Na. I don’t care about “great company”. 

He took a little pause, and put a gentle hand on Y/N’s wrist, his large hand covering a great surface, fingers brushing together. 

- And what about these days, hm? What’s going on exactly? 

Y/N took a deep breath, looking at the wall in front of her while thinking about what was indeed going on these days. 

- Truth is, I don’t know.. nothing happened, nothing wrong really happened. My parents are nice to me, they give me the space I need, they trust me.. I have friends, they’re always with me, they throw parties and ask me to hang out.. I'm healthy, I have good grades, I.. I fucking don’t know! And that’s wrong right? How the hell can’t I know? I have everything to be happy with, and I'm still that stupid girl who cries when she comes back home and didn’t genuinely smiled for months. 

Y/N paused, for once feeling more mad than sad. 

- Honestly, I feel like I'm being swallowed by a dark hole, that’s I'm disappearing in it and I'm not even willing to fight it, because who will care hm? Nobody asked me to cut the bullshit, sit down and talk heart to heart. They’re like me. They pretend it’s alright because it’s more confortable for everyone. But if it swallowed me completely tomorrow, they would barely notice. 

Feeling on edge, ready to explode, Y/N stood up and started to walk toward the living room to leave. She still had the cup, half empty now, and felt a thousand emotions crash in her heart at this very moment. She was about to reach the front door when the same strong hand grabbed her wrist and made her stop. She then felt big arms around her tiny self, and she put the glass down on the counter. He didn’t say a thing, yet the little circles he was drawing on her waist and the feeling of his hot breath on her neck was strangely calming.  

For the first time in a very, very long time, she allowed herself to be visibly vulnerable. She abandoned that inner fight she was giving every minute to look ok when she was not, she accepted an outer presence which until now felt dangerous, and she started to cry, silently, and then a bit more. When she felt sobs climbing her throat, she turned to bury herself in his large, warm body, and he tightened his grip, now drawing circles in her back and whispering “it’s ok” to her ear. After what seemed to be ages, she pulled back a little and looked at him. 

- You cried too? 

Y/N said, noticing his glowing eyes and trails of tears on his face as she gently whipped it off with her thumb. 

- Yeah, I did. Guess despite of feeling numb you’re great at making other feel things.. 

- Sorry about that, I didn’t.. 

- Don’t. I told you it’s ok didn’t I? You don’t have to feel sorry, and it’s not a single hug that will confort you fully, even in such exceptional arms. 

He said winking, trying to make her laugh a bit. Y/N smiled and played back. 

- Well, when I talked about the darkness swallowing me I didn’t mean to disappear in these neither! 

She said pointing his arms and winking back. He laughed and took her back in the said arms but quickly this time. He just held her tight for a few seconds and kissed her forehead before pushing back a bit. 

- It’s getting late, I should probably drive you home or people will be concerned. But you can come back anytime hm? And I never minded skipping classes to sit down somewhere and do whatever a lady feels up to ! 

As they were both back in the car, Y/N smiled to herself. Even though it would indeed not “cure her”, he was making this moment a bit easier to understand and go through, and that was better than I had ever been. And as he was ransacking his glove box in search of tissues, nervously putting back a pack of condoms trying to hide them quickly, but failing dramatically, she left out a real laugh, so unusual that a new tear fell down her cheek, for his greater pleasure. 

* 

Part 2? 

I’ve never written fluff, hope it was good enough ! Tell me what you through about it, and thank you again for the support and requests !! Still opened ;) 

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael After Midnight: Duke Nukem Forever

I like to kick off each new year with a truly magical review. Remember when I kicked off 2018 by reviewing a Jesus porno? Let’s be real, I peaked with that one. I’m not even gonna try to top it. What I will do, however, is talk about something I’ve wanted to discuss for a long time: Duke Nukem Forever.

This game almost needs no introduction; its stay in development hell and its tumultuous development is the stuff of legends, second only to Half-Life 3 in infamy among gaming vaporware. And it somehow managed to stay in infamy because despite releasing, UNLIKE Half-Life 3, most people who bought it really wished that it hadn’t. It turned out Duke was in the oven a bit too long, and the game we got was a mediocre shooter that was already out of date by several years when it finally released, not helped by its potshots at better series and use of extremely dated memes (Leeroy Jenkins? Really?). 

Thankfully, I was divorced from this decade-spanning drama, being barely aware of the game until a few years back. Being a fan of Duke as a character - he is a loving spoof of the kind of action heroes I enjoy after all - and curious about the game after reading the fascinating history behind its development, I ended up playing it and… I thought it was okay. Yeah, I was expecting a lot more from this game in either direction, but it ended up being a rather middling, decent experience.

So let’s talk about what’s unironically good first: the interactivity. There are a LOT of little things Duke can interact with around the world, from a whiteboard you can doodle on to a functional pinball machine. None of this is groundbreaking by any means, but there is a certain childish thrill from picking up a turd from a toilet and flinging it around or from smacking some alien wall titties. There’s even an enjoyable dream sequence where Dukeis at a club that has tons of interactive elements in it! The fact that a lot of these interactive elements can lead to increases in Duke’s health is an added incentive to spend time doing them.

I actually enjoy some of the level design in the first half of the game, in particular the segments where Duke is shrunk down. I don’t know about you guys, but there’s something I really find charming about hopping over fryers and climbing through conveniently placed holes in the walls of a shitty fast food joint. It’s the sort of stuff I imagine when I’m bored at work. If the whole game had been as creative and fun as these parts and had expanded on the interactivity more, I think this would have been worth the wait a bit more… but unfortunately there’s more to this game.

After the first couple of segments, the level design plummets. The portions where Duke has to drive through the desert are especially jarring as they are incredibly barren with little to do or discover. This is then taken to the opposite extreme when you get to the final area, the dam, which is downright labyrinthine at parts and absurdly difficult. You will likely not die any place more than in this level due to the ridiculous number of enemies they cram into the tight corridors and underwater sections. It makes you wonder if this area was made so difficult to hide how short the game is - things wrap up after the dam level ends, with one ridiculously easy final boss left once you escape.

Then again, you may be thanking your lucky stars this game is mercifully short, because Duke and the world he inhabits are pretty intolerable. The entire world has become a monument to Duke’s ego, with just about everything revolving around him. Duke is like a Mary Sue escapist fantasy - a huge macho man who kicks ass, takes names, gets blowjobs from twins and his genderbent counterpart (apparently it is Bombshell’s model behind the glory hole in Duke’s dream, so he can literally go fuck himself), and is adored by literally everyone. And yeah, Duke was always kind of like this… but somewhere along the game’s journey somebody forgot that the tongue of the writers is supposed to be firmly planted in their cheek. The issue here is that the game is taking everything about Duke DEAD SERIOUS. We’re supposed to see Duke as the supreme god-tier badass who makes Master Chief and Gordon Freeman look like pussies, but it’s hard to buy into that idea when we are only told this while playing as him is just an unfun chore.

And maybe this would be better if they had polished up Duke’s character a bit, but he’s really inconsistent. Jon St. John is still absolutely fantastic with the voice and the delivery, there’s no denying that, but he unfortunately is portraying a really lame iteration of this beloved character. I think the point where I lost faith in this Duke is when, after finding the blowjob twins trapped in alien cocoons and begging him for help, Duke’s response is to just tell them they’re fucked. This is in stark contrast to him going apeshit when the aliens stole his babes, and is yet another sign the writers just didn’t GET Duke. Duke is an overly-macho chauvinist, yes, but he DOES care about babes. He’s more Johnny Bravo, less conservative pro-life blogger. Here though? This is just an uncharacteristically misogynistic response, and it is never commented on again. It’s just so jarring and bad that it kind of hampered my enjoyment of the game.

Still though, there is something halfway charming buried under the garbage. There are flashes of fun here and there that show promise of a better game, but they are always ultimately crushed. I feel if this game had come out in a more timely fashion with the innovations it does have, it would be considered revolutionary, but alas, we don’t live in that world. Half-Life 2, Halo, BioShock, and countless other franchises came and redefined what an FPS could be while this game was floundering between studios, leaving it so that when this game finally dropped, there really wasn’t anything special about it save for its protagonist, who himself felt like a relic from a bygone age who had become in earnest the very thing he once parodied so effectively. 

It’s hard to really recommend this game; even among first-person shooters, which tend to age like milk, this game has aged very poorly. If you’re curious about it like I was, well, there are worse things to pull out of a bargain bin; the game is dirt cheap on most consoles. Generally speaking though I’d say just get the equally cheap yet infinitely better Duke Nukem 3D; it’s frankly amazing how much better that game has aged despite it being a game released in the wake of the original Doom. 

What the future holds for Duke is rather unclear; at the end of this game he says he’s gonna run for President, but I dunno, the idea of an overly macho, violent, misogynistic celebrity becoming president is pretty far-fetched, riiiiiiiiiiight? Let’s not end this on a depressing note that reminds us of the bottomless stupidity of American politics, though. Let me tell you the one genuinely good thing this game brought to the world:

I brought the cover insert of the game to be signed by Jon St. John at a convention, and when I presented it he said in a tone that clearly was used to being dunked on for the game “Be honest, what did you think of the game?” And I told him, “There were a couple parts I didn’t like, but overall I thought it was fun,” and the guy just lit up. It just made me really happy that someone liking this dumb game brightened his day like that, and honestly? It wasn't a lie. I did have fun with this game, despite its flaws, and if it let me brighten the game’s star’s day by saying I enjoyed it even a little, I’m glad it exists.

[lamiasluck]

When Faith Breaks

(A story inspired by the game Faith and priestiplier content)

Summary: Damien has accepted God's calling and went to pursue his new role as a humble servant of the Lord. His life as a priest has been a rewarding one thus far, but it hasn't been without its hardships. The Devil taunts him to test his faith, tempting him to fall into darkness. 

His greatest test of faith will soon be upon the priest. The Devil has tempted his sister and made her fall to darkness, and it's up to Damien to save her soul.

Characters: Damien, Celine, and William

Tags: Priest Damien, demons, religion and other religious symbolism, demonic possession, character death, angst

Words: 2372

Read on AO3!

-

My flesh and heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and portion forever.

- Psalm 73:26

Damien clutched his rosary closer to his chest as he stepped through the remnants of what used to be Celine’s house. Unsturdy floorboards creaked beneath his feet, the stone walls cracked and threatened to fall onto the growing piles of rubble. Through the sounds of settling destruction and his laboured breathing, he heard her. He heard Celine.

“En nomine Patris et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.” He did the sign of the cross as he began his blessings.

He knew he shouldn’t have left her on her own. He knew he shouldn’t have listened to her insistent cries for him to follow his call from God, that he should move out as soon as possible to teach his preachings. He had always discouraged her and her… work. Her blasphemous rituals to a chaotic entity. What she did was dangerous, but he didn’t know it was this dangerous.

It all happened so quickly. At one moment, Damien was conducting his usual ceremonies, then before he knew it, he was being pulled aside to be informed of the unfortunate news of his only family.

The devil works with servants.

To say that the ministry discouraged his mission would be an understatement. This case was so grand, after all. Reports said the house nearly blew up and crumbled completely. Having the church’s youngest priest on the case would surely cause trouble, so they had scheduled their best to work on the house at noon. Damien went by himself at nightfall the day before. He needed to help, this wasn’t just another case. It was his sister, it was Celine.

Why didn’t God heal her?

Damien shook those thoughts out of his head. It wasn’t the Lord’s fault, it was his. He should have guided Celine to the light while he could. He should have prohibited her actions. He should of… he should of…

“I will say of the Lord: He is my refuge and my fortress…” Damien murmured. His knuckles were white as he gripped his rosary tighter, the cross digging into his skin. The very air lingering around the house felt… wrong. Damien breathed in the Devil’s breath, but exhaled the Lord’s blessings. “My God, in Him I will trust.”

Childhood memories began to mix with the Good Book as Damien blessed the remnants of the halls he and Celine used to skip through. Their childhood home, ruined by the Devil’s touch. Though a home is where the family is, and Damien wasn’t going to let the Devil take her too.

“Damien~ I can hear you…” A familiar voice echoed through the house, alluring in its tone. Damien shuddered as an unseen energy rippled through his body. Tempting him to stop, tempting him to give in. He continued to walk closer nonetheless.

“I shall not be afraid of the terror in the night-”

“Your words hurt!” Her voice shrieked as he drew closer. “You’re hurting your big sister, Damien! How dare you?!”

“N-Nor the… the evil that walketh in darkness…” He couldn’t stop his voice from trembling. He bit back the tears that threatened to fall alongside the rumble.

Why her? God, why take everything I have? Is this a test of my faith?

Soon enough, Damien stood before a door that glowed a vibrant shade of red and blue. Celine’s seance chamber. Compared to the rest of the house, the surrounding walls and door stood strong as if they weren’t holding back the wrath of the Devil.

Have I not proven myself worthy thus far?

“Because I have made the Lord my refuge…” Damien hesistanted. He could hear her laughing. As he gripped the doorknob, he could have sworn that it made his skin burn at the touch. “Because I have set my love upon Him… Therefore will He deliver me.”

The second Damien swung open the door, the air was knocked out of his lungs. His eyes instinctively shut closed as he stumbled back at the shear force of magic pushing him back. Eyes slowly blinked open and Damien tried to steady his quicken breathing to no avail. All of the seer’s ritual ingredients were spread out around the room. The mark of the Devil, a pentagram, was neatly drawn onto the ground with chalk. Celine stood in the middle of the circle, tall and proud. Her smile was too wide, predatory eyes staring down Damien like a coyote to a deer. This wasn’t his sister.

May God guide us to the light.

“Celine…” Damien stepped into the room. The golden cross on his rosary made his sister visibly flinch. “Celine… what did you do?”

“I did what I had to do.”

“I shall call upon Him, and He will answer me.” He raised his rosary against the demon with a trembling arm. Various rites clearly agitated the demon, but Celine still stood strong. She hissed a foreign tongue at her brother's cross. “You don’t belong here, demon. Release her!”

“What do you mean, Damien? I’m right here.” Celine sounded like a horrid parody of herself. Alongside her comforting tone was an underlying echo of something primitive. A gravely inhuman voice spoke alongside Celine’s.

The priest’s chest ached as he stared at the shell of his sister. Surely, her pride wasn’t still telling her that she had everything under control? Surely, the wicked smile that dawned on her face was the work of the Devil.

The Lord’s words didn’t seem to be affecting her.

“He will be with me in trouble. He will deliver me and honour me.” Damien touched the sides of his face with his free hand and noticed they were wet with tears. A broken sob made it past his lips as Celine tauntingly laughed at him.

“What’s wrong with my baby brother? Do you still need your sister to coddle you?!”

The door slammed shut behind Damien. He instinctively flinched back at the sound, only for Celine to grab him and throw him into the corner of the room with inhuman strength. Damien clutched the rosary tighter as his back hit the wall. The cross pierced his skin and a small, steady stream of blood dripped from his palm. Celine’s smile only grew wider at the display before her.

“Vade… vade post me, Satana,” Damien spoke the word of the Lord with a shaking voice.

May my blood and tears be a sign to give me strength… please, Lord, give me strength…

“Exaudi Domine Patri.”

“Your God is a false prophet! Just listen to me… listen to me…” Celine swayed like a puppet on a puppetmaster’s strings. “You’ll be powerful, just like your big sister.” Celine stared Damien down with the fires of hell within her eyes, her body glowed a vibrant shade of red. She clenched her fists and her seance materials began to levitate off the floor with the same red glow surrounding each object.

“Ce-Celine…” Damien stared at his sister’s glowing eyes, desperately looking the compassionate emotion she used to look at him with. He found nothing but anger. “Let me help you!” Damien shrieked. He closed his eyes, letting his tears and blood fall onto the floor. Celine stared at the ground where drops of his blood stained in a small pool of red.

For a brief moment, it was quiet.

The objects dropped to the ground with a synchronized thud.

For a brief moment, there wasn’t a horrid glow surrounding Celine.

Damien raised his rosary against his sister once more. Her cruel smile weakened to a puzzled expression.

For a brief moment, Damien saw a warm compassionate look within Celine’s eyes.

But it was only brief.

As quickly as Damien could blink, the anger returned. Celine smiled down at Damien before she started giggling. Soon enough, Celine was laughing hysterically at the priest, clutching her head in her hands as she doubled over in laughter.

“Oh, Damien… of course you can help me.” Were her tears shed because of her laughter? Or were they tears shed by her true self? She stepped closer to Damien, watching as he cowered into the corner in a tight ball. The priest muttered to the Lord frantically. He could beg, but would anyone answer his calls?

The Lord is supposed to answer my call.

Celine grabbed a fistful of Damien’s hair and tugged it harshly, forcing him to look at what she’s become. Damien screamed at the pain, hyperventilating in a silent plead for mercy. The Devil’s breath was suffocating.

“You’ll help me… you’ll help all of us…”

“Celine, what are you doing?!” The seer glowed once more and Damien felt his body burn from within, convulsing with the strength of the deepest pit of hell. “S-Stop-! Please, Celine you’re - It-It hurts! It hurts, it hurts, it hurts - Please stop! I - I, Please God help me-!”

Damien’s screams were never answered.

The Devil works with servants, each soul taken willingly or by force.

The ministry mourned the loss of their youngest prodigy, but they never found his body. However, the twisted seer’s body was found yards away from the house in a forest, assumedly after she took the life of her brother. Having left a trail of mutilated woodland creatures in what looked like a final tribute to the Devil. They arrived too late. There was a scheduled dismantling of the cursed house after they spewed their rites to the Lord.

Unbeknownst to the ministry, the seer breathed life into a new creation. She created a sin against God, only to throw him into the world with his new identity. Soon after, she left the world to join her chaotic deity. Her creation, her brother, wandered aimlessly as the very creature he swore to destroy. Without purpose, without dignity.

Damien felt out of place in his own body.

The Lord blessed him in the light, but the Devil cursed him to be surrounded by monochrome. His body cracked and ached continuously, his eyes fully black with the Devil’s void. Yet, he continued to search for answers through his torment.

God can still save me. I must keep faith in Him.

Even mentioning the Lord’s name added onto his perpetual pain. But he still continued to pray, he still continued to beg. His rosary was still clutched close to his chest, the beads made his skin burn with a dull reminder of his state.

“Vade post me, Satana… Exaudi Domine Patri…” The voice of the Devil echoed alongside his own. Each preaching made his throat sting as the words left his mouth.

He thought about returning to the ministry and begging his former superiors for help. Then he remembered how they treated demons like him. Demons deserved to be killed. Word would spread around quick, he’d rather die in isolation than bring more shame to his family’s name.

He prayed that Celine’s spirit found the light in the afterlife.

For now, Damien wandered without a destination. Spending weeks in what seemed to be an endless cycle of praying and pain. There was no rest for the likes of him, for where would he find peace in? His own family cursed him to an eternal limbo between worlds. Who should he be more afraid of: humans or demons? At this point, Damien was too afraid to learn the answer.

I’m sorry for my cowardice, my Lord. I’m sorry for my blasphemy.

Every so often, Damien would snap and go against God’s teachings. The sheer amount of power he was cursed with was strong enough to destroy villages. A simple priest like him couldn’t control the unsteady aura. His image would flicker between blue and red in a dangerously beautiful pattern, and his image would shake like a venomous snake warning off any life around it. There was barely time to process what was happening before he collapsed onto the ground in a fit of cries and screams. A powerful aura thrashed around him, breaking whatever, or whoever, in its wake. After the carnage, Damien would be forced to realize what he did. Time and time again.

He would leave without any witnesses. Frightened communities have officially began a hunt for his head. He didn’t blame them.

“Forgive me Father, for I am a sin…”

The demon cried tears of obsidian, kneeling before the almighty Lord. He prayed the beads on his rosary through the dull burn. The shine of the golden cross was unaffected by the harsh grey the Devil surrounded Damien in. But the light never purged him of his impurities.

“The Good Word hurts me, yet I beg for the light.”

I beg for mercy.

Quiet, but present footsteps made their way closer to Damien. He let them draw closer as he closed his eyes. Maybe an act of mercy would be to kill him. He wondered if death would hurt, though nothing could hurt more than this torture.

“There you are, Damien. I’ve been looking all over for you.” Damien heard a man speak from behind him. How did he know his name? A gentle hand was placed on his shoulder, but he still gasped and tensed under the touch. Through laboured breaths and closed eyes, he waited for the harsh pain of death. However, the man never hurt him.

“Kill me.” Damien didn’t want sympathy, he was tired. The man hummed with amusement, never removing his hand and instead massaging reassuring circles. Damien shuddered at the touch before an echoed sob rippled through him. “Please… it hurts…”

“Curious little thing.” The man spoke in a chipper tone, with an odd slur to his pronunciation. He has heard about a mysterious demon with the power of twenty men, but he didn’t expect this display of weakness. Razor sharp teeth scowled at the cross Damien was holding, claw-like hands digging into the smaller man’s shoulder. Surely that poisonous object was the reason for the other’s pain. “Why don’t I help you?”

“Please…”

Damien lays within the Devil’s grasp, begging for answers. He begged for a reality where he wasn’t depending on one of the Devil’s servants to help him. He wanted his family back, he wanted his life back.

God never saved his damned soul. He condemned him.

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

BnHA 80 - 81 | Uchitama 6 | Iruma 21

BnHA 80

I feel like Todoroki would be good with children…given some experience, that is.

Bakugo is Tsundere…Act 1(…?)

I know Horikoshi was trying to make this light-hearted because of the serious nature of the last arc, but I’ve seen people lose faith in the series because the dude doesn’t have much skill in humour. His previous series were all axed and fairly serious, so I can see why he never needed to until now.

Ohmygosh, I can’t believe Shouto is capable of acting like Bakugo to his dad! Not that there’s zero precedent…it’s just that this is the most Bakugo-like he’s ever become, I think, and that includes the tournament.

Integrals? I’m stumped with the humble modulo! (Since that’s based on division anyway, it should be possible to learn that during secondary education.)

I think I remember there was this meme…the “[X] is the traitor” meme…and Aoyama was one of the top suspects. What they’re a traitor for I wouldn’t know since I’m not that far ahead, but I wonder if the reason for this meme will show up soon.

“…sometimes my…”    

Financier…? What? What does this have to do with financ-oh…right.

BnHA 81

Wow…I sure didn’t miss this intro, huh?

This is the Culture Festival, specifically.

So “gappoi!” is short for (ryakugo, meaning “abbreviation”) gakkouppoi (school-like).

Well, with the new OP and the hints Kaminari dropped, it’s no surprise what 1-A will do.

There’s even a “Boo?” option…

“The Lexington Dance Band live at Festival Pluse” (give or take capitalisation and a few letters)…wow, Todoroki must wanna go to Glastonbury or something…

“[T]he hiphop” in the background, LOL.

Ooh, Gentle…I saw his name in the ANN stuff, so I know what he looks like (roughly).

The video got encoded funny again…

“The school festival is a festival that takes place at our school.” – Yeah, and people die when they are killed…(<-This is a carryover from Fate/Stay Night: Unlimited Blade Works’s notes, if you didn’t know. It means the obvious thing is obvious.)

Mirio’s hand gestures look like he’s suggesting boobs or hips, LOL. That’s far too lewd for a show like this, but perfectly in line for a teenage boy.

Date, huh? Ohhhhhh…wait…I thought it was cute, then I realised Eri is probably younger than 10 (update: she’s 6) and Mirio is 18. Mirio is thrice her age!!! No! I am not shipping that in any way but a puppy-dog-love way!

Wha-What was that?! Gentle is so stupid!!!

“Funnest”? I’m no grammar police, but heck! You just wanna piss me off, don’t you, BnHA?!

Uchitama 6

Notice how the chome is highlighted in red behind the cats. That’s not a street…that’s a frickin’ suburb!

Is it just the subs, or are these guys seriously doing a HypMic parody…?

I can’t seem to be invested in this turf war. I mean, we know basically nothing about Waka right now, aside from his haughtiness…

Hmm? Bull’s face is on the titlecard this time.

Meowster is probably Twitter, but it reminds me of Napster (an older music service) more…I never used Napster anyway, I just know it from old logo games.

I was just about to ask that, Gon: is Nora a cat or a wolf with a title like that…?

Yup…listening to Nora’s lines and even the music, it’s clearly a HypMic (or other rap battle) parody.

“My whiskers were twitching.” – Considering in human form you don’t have any whiskers, Nora…LOL.

Well, at least this brings new meaning to “fighting like cats and dogs”, huh?

Huh? So Waka looks like that in dog form, huh?

Momo’s face is on the titlecard now.

Yotsukoshi = parody of Mitsukoshi, a classy Japanese department store.

They’re all doing the “sheeeeeeh!” pose from Osomatsu-kun. Just…no legs.

Non-caffeinated barley tea…that’s a very Gon drink for you.

I noticed Tama’s lost poster on the left side of the bar…plus one of the pictures on the TV is a dog. A small furry brown-haired breed (which I don’t know the exact name for, but I think it’s a Pomeranian).

I just realised that Nora seems to have makeup around his eyes in human form because he has a marking around one eye.

Iruma 21

Makuhari Messe/Metlife Dome.

That’s a strangely rational explanation for idols…for this world, that is.

Oh. It’s akushukai (“shake hands meeting”) but it’s akushukai (“take evil meeting”), hence “meet and grate”.

Kami taiou (“godly answers”, basically the responses people get from entertainers which don’t say much because they’re restricted by business but people go gaga for them anyway) but then switching out the “god” for “hair” (different kanji, but also “kami”). That’s why it’s “cuticle” vs “cute”.

Aw, Kuromu is kinda cute after all. Very relatable.

Mal- = bad in some languages.

Ohh! So this is how Iruma (spoilers for a future episode) becomes a Devidol! Possibly Asmodeus too!

[gascon-en-exil]

Joining the Game Late: S6E6 “Blood of My Blood”

Synopsis

A forgettable Stark from Season 1 is back to rescue Bran and Meera. Sam’s come home with some lies for and about his family, but Gilly blows it and they dine and dash with a sword. Margaery seems to have found the Seven and convinces Tommen to do the same, thwarting the Tyrell-Lannister alliance against the Faith. Arya keeps getting caught up with the King’s Landing plot, then tries rewriting the script both on and off stage. The Waif is coming to kill her now, but she’s got Needle back so that should end well. Walder Frey has problems, but he’s also got leverage in Edmure Tully who’s been in his dungeons for three seasons. It’s Cersei and Jaime vs. the world for like the fifth time. Dany reunites with Drogon and decides to stick with what she’s good at.

Commentary

GoT is going out of its way to get me talking about characters I rarely shine my personal spotlight on. Sure, Margaery’s got her power play(?) around the High Sparrow and her own family and the twincest Lannisters are back to reaffirming that they’re going to kill everyone who isn’t them, but it’s the stuff outside King’s Landing that caught my attention this time. Like the opening on Bran’s story - apparently the return of Benjen was meant to be a clever wink to book readers who’d been expecting him, but all I can think about is how terrible a deal Meera’s been given. She helped Bran go north of the Wall based on the visions of her brother, and ever since she’s been kidnapped, nearly raped, forced to watch her brother murdered, and then had to watch Summer and Hodor get torn apart by ice zombies as she dragged an unconscious teenage boy on a sled too heavy for her through a blizzard while still being pursued by the aforementioned zombies. I know almost everyone in this universe has a terrible lot because that’s just how it is, but still. 

Next up is Sam and Gilly at Horn Hill. I admit that I still don’t care about Sam or his dull little romance and found family, but it dawned on me that this is the first time that the Reach has actually appeared in the show. From my research I’ve picked out that House Tarly was influenced by provincial southern France in contrast to the decidedly Parisian Highgarden and House Tyrell, and GoT makes that evident in the design of Horn Hill and the fashions and behavior of its residence. Laying aside the usual issue of mostly Anglo actors portraying not!French characters I enjoyed this little window into the fashionably pastoral life of Sam’s family. It was considerably more interesting than almost anything else involving him has been, even with his father as starkly cruel as described. What a shame that this clearly isn’t going to be a recurring setting, although I understand that this close to the end the show doesn’t really have time for setting up a character’s background in so extensive a manner.

Last on my list of neglected storylines is one I brought up last time, now with something resembling a conclusion. Arya’s story has always felt like one of the most aimless ones, following her all over the place where she stumbles in and out of the company of various mentors and learns about herself and how to kill more effectively. The problem with this, aside from the general lack of focus, is that both her geographical and developmental momentum practically ground to a halt upon arriving in Braavos at the start of Season 5, with the House of Black and White offering her little more than multiple training montages, a bunch of cryptic lore dumps easily surpassed by those documentary-style shorts produced along with the show, and some ongoing friction between the vengeance that drives Arya and her baffling desire to become a killer with no identity and (allegedly) no opinion on whose time it is to die. This tension comes to a head with her latest mark, an actress portraying Cersei in a stage play parodying events in King’s Landing from the first through fourth seasons. By speaking with Lady Crane Arya comes to the realization that she has something in common with Cersei even though the woman has been on her hit list since Season 1, and this combined with her innate sense of justice leads her to refuse the job she’s been given and strike out from the Faceless Men. 

It’s a solid moment on its own and comes with some good meta commentary on the nature of adaptation and the roles that women occupy in this world, but while watching it I couldn’t help but think of how Arya had already learned sympathy for one of the people on her list before and had even admitted to such in her Faceless training. Of course the Hound is a less significant character than Cersei and certainly less of a villain, but unlike Cersei Arya had meaningful interaction with the Hound and actively chose not to kill him at a pivotal moment. All this time the show has been stacking Arya’s quest for vengeance with her sense of justice; she brutally murders Meryn Trant as he’s revealed to be even more loathsome than previously known, but she spares the Hound because he has a redemption arc coming after their wanderings and can’t bring herself to follow through with the Faceless assassination here. I know the end of Arya’s Braavos arc is coming very soon, as she’s got to get back to Westeros to kill a bunch of Freys and Littlefinger, etc., and here at the end of it I can’t help but think that the main thrust of her time there was just about pointless. What did she learn at the House of Black and White apart from a disguise trick, and how much more did she learn by happening to go backstage at a bawdy street play?

[deltaengineering]

Spring Anime 2019 Part 3: the doldrums

Spoilers: There’s going to be top tier shows in this season eventually.

Also spoilers: not today.

Araiya-san! Ore to Aitsu ga Onnayu de!

What: Anime schlub has to sub in for his father, who is a professional “girl washer”. He’s not supposed to go full lewd. He does.

❌ Unlike Nande Koko ni Sensei ga, this is actual porn. You just have to go looking for the full version, because the TV version is half as long (3:30) for some reason. I dunno, probably just a tight, moist timeslot.

❌ Well, it’s still Japanese porn so even uncensored you get mosaics all over the place, so maybe look for alternatives anyway.

❌❌ It’s porn, with all the writing, production and subtitle quality implications that brings.

Gunjou no Magmel

What: People explore the mythical continent Magmel in search for treasure and fame. A shounen protagonist watches them all die.

♎ This is based on a manhua, and you can tell by the typical tone problems. Everything about the characters is like an adventure shounen for the younger set, but it’s pretty violent and full of death.

❌ There’s nothing wrong with the above per se, but it doesn’t work. I would say it plays its hand too eagerly, so it comes across less of a subversion and more as just really juvenile.

❌ Beyond that incongruence, there doesn’t seem to be much to it. People walk into a meatgrinder while our protagonist is cool and sometimes slapsticky. Wow.

♎ It looks pretty okay, but there isn’t much effort or style to it. Hey, it’s not actually by some fly-by-night operation but by Pierrot, and they know a thing or two about (cheap, long-running) shounen.

❌ Well, they made a Chinese ripoff of Made in Abyss. I suggest you watch that instead. Or maybe Hunter x Hunter.

Isekai Quartet

What: The main characters of Re:Zero, Tanya the Evil, Konosuba and Overlord end up in a high school together.

❌❌ BUT IN A HIGH SCHOOL is only slightly less creatively bankrupt a concept than isekai itself, and only slightly less common as well.

❌ This doesn’t change my opinion that all of these shows aren’t very good. At least it reinforces my opinion that Re:Zero is the least bad and Overlord is possibly a bit better than it appears.

✅ The adaptation of the character designs to SD Flash animation is done well. In particular the Tanya characters looks better than in their own show and Ramrem are Nendoroids anyway.

❌ Going by the looks, this is building on the Re:Zero SD specials. Of course, the Re:Zero characters appear the least and Konosuba characters appear the most. It makes sense, because their bad comedy aligns best with the bad comedy of this show.

❌❌ I don’t think it’s funny and I have no love for any of the franchises/characters, which makes it a complete waste of time.

Namu Amida Butsu!

What: A bunch of bodhisattvas hang out in between fighting sins. You can’t spell “bodhisattva” without “bod”.

❌ This is very clearly an anime based on a mobile game where very pretty boys wear very elaborate clothes, so the character designs are eyesearingly garish as usual.

✅ Imagine my delight then when the first thing they do is to put them into frumpy tracksuits. That’s the single best joke I’ve ever seen in one of these. In fact, the whole episode is mostly based on fish-out-of-water comedy that’s not very unique but pretty funny when applied to these dreamboats.

✅ This looks a cut above the usual as well. About as good as Doga Kobo’s Touken Ranbu, which is the closest thing I can think of.

❌ The wild swing from cute boys doing cute things to fighting the bad mans is pretty clunky and it’s only going to get worse as a plot establishes itself.

❌ This is probably the best of these shows I’ve seen yet, but that doesn’t really mean all that much. A few decent jokes is not enough to carry something like this.

One Punch Man S2

What: The meme is back, baby. What, a second season opinion on this? Yeah, know that I think that OPM was fairly okay apart from the overreliance on its one joke.

✅ That one joke doesn’t even appear in this episode, which is the best thing they ever could have done. In fact, OPM S2 seems to hardly even be a comedy anymore. As someone who liked the setting more than the humor, I approve.

✅ I still like Saitama and Genos as characters as well. Plus, it never stops amusing me that One Punch Man is better at social commentary than MP100 and MHA combined, simply by virtue of being at least a little subtle about it.

❌ However, they replaced the joke with drama that wears out its welcome and a shitton of exposition. Neither of those are something I particularly want to see either.

♎ Of course the talk of the town is that this show moved from Madhouse to J.C. Staff and there has been a severe visual downgrade. Even though I will happily accept that downgrade in exchange for the show annoying me less, I can’t deny it’s there. I’d still say that it looks okay on its own merits, it’s only in comparison to the occasionally stellar looking original that it suffers.

♎ Since I’ve made it through S1, I’ll at least attempt to watch S2. It’s different but seems to work out to about as entertaining for now.

RobiHachi

What: Robby is a galactic gigolo and flies around with his straight man Hachi and a robot vacuum cleaner. Now that you say it, that does seem familiar.

❌ I had my problem with Space Dandy, but for all of its faults it was at least visually appealing. RobiHachi has the bare minimum of visuals and is so reliant on the banter between its leads that it might as well be an audio drama.

❌ Yeah, that banter. I don’t think it works at all. There is no wit and and barely any charm to it, which makes the whole thing extremely tedious. I checked the runtime when I felt like it was going way longer than the usual 24 minutes, and I found I was 8 minutes in.

❌ So the show does put an extraordinary amount of faith in the chemistry between its leads, to the point where there’s not much else (apart from the obligatory mecha parody that any sci fi comedy anime is required to have by law). 

♎ I kind of feel bad for this show because at least it feels like it’s going for something that might have potential. It’s just incapable of pulling it off in a manner that doesn’t bore me to tears.

Strike Witches - 501-butai Hasshin Shimasu!

What: OG Strike Witches, the baseline unimaginative 4koma comedy.

❌ I’ll just say that it’s baseline unimaginative 4koma comedy that fails (like most of these do) and move on to a more interesting topic:

❌❌ Which is the way this looks, i.e. shockingly bad. Barely animated skits can still look acceptable, but this is a barely animated version of something that looks like a 4th grader’s crayon attempt. And yes, I’m not expecting everything to look like glossy moeshit. I’m just expecting the comedy spinoff of glossy moeshit to do so.

❌ It’s Strike Witches. Without butts.

Yatogame-chan Kansatsu Nikki

What: 3:30 regional/tourism anime about Nagoya, which is apparently full of strangely-accented catgirls that confound Tokyoites.

✅ This looks cute. Strike Witches could have looked like this, you have no excuse.

❌ Do you think Japanese regional accents are funny? If not, I don’t think this show is for you.

❌ The humor is shrill and obnoxious, which puts a pretty hefty dent into the cuteness.

[fibrielsolaer]

Smash Ultimate tier list based entirely on which characters I like and which I hate

BSP = Big Sexy Personality

FBNIS = Fun, But Not In Smash

MPATBUD = Mario Princesses Are Terrifying Blow-Up Dolls

S Tier

Kirby: absolutely the man, if you don’t love Kirby you’re probably the asshole who got this roster flooded with Marth World pricks

Pikachu: He quicc. He thicc. He’ll Thunderbolt you to hicc

Except it’s a she because I only ever play Librechu ;p

Bowser: BSP

Zelda: She is so cute, I can finally stand playing as her

Pichu: He is so cute, it almost makes up for how stupid he is

Ganondorf: He’s finally fucking cool. He uses the goddamn sword now

Lucario: What if Mewtwo was a Shaolin monk hunk

I only play purple Lucario for reasons you’re best not knowing

Toon Link: He’s the cartoon that Link and Young Link watched and modeled themselves on

Ridley: HOLY SHIT IT FEELS AWESOME TO PLAY RIDLEY

I love how the game designers know he’s way too small so when you fight him in Classic Mode as Samus he gets Giant modifier

K. Rool: BSP

Piranha Plant: The pain from the pipes, this disrespectful piece of shit is so stupid he wraps around to greatness, with his inclusion I’ve changed my mind and now say fuck it, add Bandana Waddle Dee, hell add a regular Waddle Dee if you want, I don’t even care anymore

A Tier

Luigi: Few people know that he and Mario are actually identical twins, his brother merely wears a fat suit (the weight of which has crushed his spine) so they can be told apart

Ness: I like the picture you get when you play for 20 hours

C. Falcon: This is the guy who beats up Incineroar. As the positive icon of the people he never shows any emotion except for “YUS!” and “SHOW ME”. All Might was probably based on this jackass

Jigglypuff: Like so many other Pokemon, its adorable facade is a veneer for an expansive and unfathomable eldritch demon. The difference is, despite how fucking many Pokemon like that there are, nobody has found Jigglypuff’s secret and lived to tell

Young Link: He’s actually Link’s son, who idolizes his father and wants to follow in his footsteps. His dad has strayed from the path but young blood here carries on the true faith. Also, FBNIS

Mewtwo: He was the original Damn Cool Pokemon. He jockeys with Lucario for that role now but all they ever do is sit there charging their neutral Bs talking about how the planet will explode in 5 minutes

Roy: He knows that the Marth World infestation is soon to be purged, because there are like five actual Marths including him, so he decided to become the best Marth World character so he alone will survive

Pit: The only cunt from his series besides Dark Pit who had the decency not to change voice and try to pretend it was the same fucking one. I never play as him ever but Sakurai sure cared more about making him fresh & fun post-Uprising than any of his other goddamn characters

Charizard: BSP

Dedede: BSP

Bowser Jr.: This rude little shit is the guy who you invite to a party and he brings his whole crew, excuse me no I didn’t invite Wendy and Horton and Lenny and all these bitches, but fuck it y’all cool

Simon: I like his funny walk and he looks like Conan the Barbarian

Richter: I like his funny walk and he looks like a dork

Isabelle: Do you know this literal bitch killed me with a fucking stop sign 3 times before I unlocked her, why isn’t that a reaction macro

Incineroar: He pretends to be a bad guy so that kids’ heroes will beat him up on TV and they will be happy. He is so sweet

B Tier (Everyone Is Meh)

Mario: Meh

Donkey Kong: Meh

Link: The dad who strayed from the path, I really don’t like the Breath of the Wild Link, FBNIS

Fox: Meh

Sheik: Meh

Dr. Meh: Mario

Falco: Hands off my meh

Mehrth: He’s kinda cool but Roy is way cooler

Mr. Game & Watch: What an annoying asshole

Wario: It’s not the cool Wario, it’s the stupid Wario Ware one, and he brings all his obnoxious waifu friends with him. It’s Wario after he retired from his teen Youtube star days at the age of 30 and he’s trying to stay young and cool-looking but his stoner friends keep fucking it up

Solid Snake: Meh, too indirect for me, FBNIS

Squirtle: Meh-est of the Pokemon Trainer trio, he just doesn’t provoke like any reaction from me at all unlike the other two

Diddy Kong: Meh

Olimeh: This is the most boring goddamn character, everything you do you have to pluck fucks

ROB: He barely animates

Villager: I kinda wish Animal Crossing let you be an animal too. The lone human character is really boring

Mega Meh: You got: FBNIS

Little Meh: I dunno I’ve just barely ever played him

Mehninja: Maybe I should actually try playing it once ever

Duck Hunt: If there was a B-and-a-half tier I’d put this one there because you can delay the side-B and set up Snake-level GOTCHA combos, otherwise the novelty wears off fast

Ryu: He is the 2nd-least likeable guy, what a turbo douche

Bayomehtta: She’s rule 63 Dante, her game was always just a DMC ripoff that relied on her tits & ass to differentiate from it

Inkling: I like the yellow hair girl one but I ABSOLUTELY HATE THE CRINGY-ASS ASSIST TROPHY AND WILL ABSOLUTELY UNFAIRLY BLAME THE CHARACTER FOR THIS.

C Tier

Samus: She is the most FBNIS character

Ice Climber: They’re really un-cute and I hate their desync thing

Metaknight: This guy was so much cooler before he talked, or rather, before he screamed AYAYGYGYAYGYAGA

Ike: Marth World has like 2,000 characters ranging from pegasus knights to barbarians to psychic dragon-girl dancers, and yet we keep getting these boring fucking swordsmen

Pokemon Trainer: Get absolutely the fuck out you twerp you don’t even do a goddamn thing and you die the second any one of your THREE fighters is KO’d so you don’t even incorporate the actual spirit of your original character unlike literally everybody else

Venusaur: If I evolved this ugly fucker I would delete my save

Lucas: If I had an Absolutely Gone Machine that could erase anything in the world and delete everyone’s memory that it ever existed so they would shut the fuck up about it, Mother 3 would be precisely the fourth thing I deleted

Robin: Least shitty post-Melee Marth World character but I just haven’t bothered to try it out to see if it’s actually good or not, probably because I’m just too allergic to Marth World by now

Dark Samus: Cool, but why

Daisy: MPATBUD, but this one has the closest thing to a personality. Unfortunately it is a fucking terrible and horrific personality

Zero Suit Samus: hey cool Samus is Barbie now

Ken: Remember how I said Ryu was the 2nd-least likeable? Well here’s Liquid Ryu to seize the coveted spot

Cloud: Yeah hey, let’s take the one Final Fantasy protagonist with like the least connection to Nintendo, no it’s fine, every goddamn Marth World game except the one that justified its worldwide presence has a character in but we’re not gonna use Cecil or Buttz or Terra

Corrin: Any hope this bitch had to go on my “Is a dragon so I like it” list was ruined by how absolutely infuriating it is to fight against Corrin especially that one Spirit match where he spams his INSTANT FINAL SMASH THAT HAS LIKE AN INFINITELY VERTICAL HITBOX fuck this goddamn digimon

D tier

Yoshi: I’ve hated this thing ever since it stopped going BAWONKA WONKA and started going blblblblblbl

add Birdo as an Echo and I might forgive you

Peach: MPATBUD, Peach is usually able to manifest either the behavior of a real person (Paper Mario) or the appearance of one (Smash), but sadly never both, she is doomed to blow-up-dollery forevermore

Sonic: Please add any other Sonic character, any at all, I’ll even take Charmy, I fucking hate Blue Bubsy

Wolf: The only reason he is not the furry-trashiest character in Smash is because Krystal is an AT, this cocksucker deadass awoos

Wii Fit Trainer: Next to her, Mario Princesses almost look human

Rozzalinda: MPATBUD and this one is the worst, far and away the worst Mario Princess, she is the creepiest fucking woman. WHY IS IT THAT NOBODY IN MARIO ACTS LIKE A HUMAN FUCKING BEING EXCEPT THE CHARACTERS WHO AREN’T FUCKING HUMAN. tl;dr the only people who say rosalina is their waifu collect people’s faces

Mii Fighters: you dress them up to make a parody of a character and then never once actually use said parody because they are stupid

Palutena: remember in Uprising how they could make fake Palutenas, this is one of them, they have a fake Viridi too, you know it is because starting in smash 4 it is clearly two different actresses trying way too hard to sound like the old ones and i can’t get over it sorry. (also she plays like shit)

Pac-Man: I only liked him when he was a pizza

Shulk: does he ever shut the fuck up

Lucina: add a red nose and it’s Marth: Tumblr Edition

Chrom: oh fuck off

Robin’s bitchass final smash still calls this clown

even if you use it on Chrom

he is so ashamed of his audacity he fucking fucks himself