#+I’ve nothing left or say to you | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

gods-favorite-autistic · 1 year ago

Text

L+ratio+one step ahead+one step ahead+thats how it’s always been+can’t let you win+I’m still here+after all these years+and I’m better than you again+this is the end

#l+ratio+this is what you made me do #+this is it #+we’re done #+we’re through #+I’ve nothing left or say to you #+so long #+farewell #+auf weidersein #+adieu #+goodbye #spies are forever #saf #they deserve a happy ending someone give it them right now #autism (mads) speaks #curt mega

162 notes · View notes

mattodore · 13 days ago

Text

memory holes litter my mind, blotting out years. i don’t follow the rabbit down them.

#river dipping #theodore doe #echthroi #ts4 #ts4 edit #ts4 screenshots #cw blood #i had these long rambling tags talking about the logistics of this edit bc i didn't actually want to talk about the edit itself #realized i was avoiding it and just deleted all of them. this is the edit i wanted to make for theo's birthday back in september.#i've worked on this preset/build/pose/edit in small sections for weeks now but finally locked in these past two weeks.#this is fifteen year-old theo in the hallway of his summer boarding school #i’ve talked previously about how theo has these gaps in his memory and struggles with probing questions about his past...#he has a very negative reaction to being asked them and there’s this dread that rises when there's nothing that floats to surface.#like memory is a reel of film left too long out in the sun. overexposed. spotty.#dizzy with all the light in his eyes when he tries to remember what used to fill the gaps.#it gets worse the further back he tries going like something’s sunken in there and he can’t touch his feet to it.#so he doesn’t think about it. he doesn’t follow the rabbit down.#this is only a glimpse of what spills out when a door is left ajar in his mind.#that's all i'll say #my oc...#yeah #quality kind of got nuked despite resizing so zoom if you want to see the details better

133 notes · View notes

tabithatwo · 2 years ago

Text

(x)

(this is a pls stop blaming juliette lewis for nat’s arc and death post <3)

#regardless of whether you loved the death or hated it YOU CAN STOP BLAMING JULIETTE NOW OKAY??#like even people who liked it overall but had qualms the party line is well I’m sure it was juliette leaving early so that’s why xyz #no! it was not! this was the plan <3 and idc if you hate love or nothing it I just think like making these excuses for things is weird #like do I get why some people might have assumed juliette might have left early sure yes but also idk like PEOPLE ARE FALLIBLE #showrunners are fallible! and that’s OKAY! they’re PEOPLE! and you CAN love every choice they make but jumping through hoops #to find *reasons* for the things you didn’t like is so interesting to me cause like…it’s okay!!! they can do a little thing you didn’t love!#you can even SAY you didn’t love it if you want and that’s okay too! or not! but stop blaming juliette lewis for whatever you didn’t like #also the rest of the article is an interesting read!#now I’ll do conjecture and tell you it is CONJECTURE for sure okay disclaimer #but after reading this article I think it is even possible Juliette’s anger with nats arc was partially BECAUSE she knew her death was soon #like maybe! who knows! not us! but I don’t even know how I became this hardcore juliette defender bc honestly I dosagree w her on a lot lol #but like I’ve seen people say oh she’s difficult and she made them do this and she’s a problem and she always does this #HELLO??? stop blaming women for shit baselessly??#(if you casually wondered if maybe she wanted to leave and didn’t say it like it was fact or use it to pin blame on her for stuff…#…this isn’t directed at you)#but some people got VICIOUS #juliette lewis #natalie scatorccio #yellowjackets

411 notes · View notes

no1ryomafan · 2 months ago

Text

Love how my broke ass decided to treat myself after my birthday by getting cheap Ds games and two of them are the ZX duology cause even though I have them on consoles I still wanna play it on its original hardware especially cause I’ve played the game enough on the LC to where I can beat it without save assist but then getting ZX1 proves to be the most tedious fucking thing ever cause APPARENTLY people just really wanted to buy this game on Ds rn for some reason???

#meg text #I don’t wanna get into the whole thing cause it’s messy and embarrassing #but let’s just say I’ve had to order this shit three times now #One was refunded and the other I’m currently In the process of getting refunded #if my third one gets refunded I’m not going to bother but I’m PRAYING this doesn’t happen #I can always try again later but there’s also only so many copies of this game left originally #And I just want both of them together it’s gonna be weird just having the second game #though I gotta wonder still why the FUCK so many people are getting it on ds and not just the lc #like bros- I get a newer console is expensive but you can get it on steam #or if nothing else emulate it 😭

9 notes · View notes

deus-ex-mona · 4 months ago

Text

farewell, my idiot son…

#(aka my switch’s internals got fried so the repair shop had to format it to revive it: the tragicomedy)#(wait no on further inspection they seemed to have just given up on fixing it and gave me a whole other switch instead. lmao.)#(i wonder what happened to my old switch though…)#(farewell to all of my save data… thank heavens i didnt transfer anything over from past gens of pkmn)#(but aaaaaaaaa this shiny goo was a christmas present from a former acquaintance… rip squish you wouldve loved kimikawaii mv)#man… these past couple of days have been a *l o t*.#shoutout to [job recruitment company employee] who sent me a ‘hey the job wants you :)’ message #at the exact same time that i submitted a job application form for another company. it truly was a strange coincidence i think…#but… ehe… the… the job that wants me is offering $1k more than the monthly base salary i asked for… is… is this really ok…?#nothing’s confirmed yet. but. y’know. s t i l l . is it really ok for me to get paid so much for a job that lets me skip the morning commute #and while im still reeling from all of yesterday’s happenings… squish my dear shiny goo will never be seen again…#switch save system my b e l o a t h e d #so. long story short. take good care of your gadgets and gizmos guys.#then again. maybe im not the best person to say this… i mean. i’ve bricked like. 3 personal laptops in my lifetime…#and a phone sim card. and 2-3 nokia phones. and 3 android phones. and a tablet. and—#so. yeah. uh. it’s a good idea to take care of your stuff. especially if they’re fragile.#anyway. in memoriam of squish my idiot son im gonna try to find another shiny in sv this time. i hope i can find another…#but aaaaa the map in sv is pretty huge. um. i got lost like 10 times before even making it to school…#the friends are all just. so. friend-shaped. though… i like the sandwich pal. he has priorities.#looking forward to seeing how this story unfolds thoughh. i saw spoilers on twt but i need to know how the story even unfolds bc aaaa #ok that’s it idol sengen tl is now on an extended hiatus (ch 35 has just 7 pages left to go) till i complete this game. whenever it may be.#see y’all then~~~~~~~~~~~

7 notes · View notes

zeb-z · 1 year ago

Text

Bad has so many reasons to be cautious, even paranoid, as anyone else on the island. From Federation nonsense to Dapper being kidnapped to the whole purgatory nonsense to whatever fuckass suit of armor “old friend” was setting up cameras in his house. But it compounds on his regular overly aware paranoid self to this state of hyper-paranoia. And as a demon who can and usually will lie, cheat, steal, and use sneaky underhanded tactics, he expects the craziest extent because he thinks of it, realizes it’s possible, and would use it himself. We saw this very obviously in purgatory - when he thought greens desperate last ditch effort to balance the scale was a super planned out tactic to tip the scale, so he did it first, all the hardcore base hunting, the spawn killing, there’s a reason every other tactic he used usually followed a main channel qsmp post with updated rules - all usually things he was surprised no one else thought of. But then this also piles onto the fact that he has to have things go his way, all the time, and that he’s argumentative as all get out, which led to the debate between him and Bagi yknow. Especially because he’s not just doing it for the sake of being right, he doesn’t think he’s paranoid, but that he’s exercising the right amount of caution.

So like. Listen dude. Yeah he’s got reasons to be paranoid. But his thought process around building vaults for separate cookie caches like they locked up the risus pills, only to scrap it because it’s not perfectly impenetrable, is extreme. His character has hardly been a leading example in someone who has reasonable reactions to things. And even when there isn’t his own children’s livelihoods potentially on the line, he has a need for control, and the most control he has is if he keeps the cookies in his inventory at all times. If he makes himself the sole point in which the others can get ones in a case of emergency, then he can control the variables. The problem is he’s unreliable about himself when he’s at his most rational and healthiest, and he’s far worse with the current memory and health issues he’s been mostly unaware of.

I dunno it’s like. There is never going to be a purely impenetrable base. And it’s not just a case of “Bagi just hasn’t lived through __ yet!”. Bad’s own logic about keeping the cookies on him at all times is flawed under his own logic, because Bagi is right - if someone has enough drive to break into separate secured cookie caches purely for the downfall of eggs, they more than certainly have enough drive to find a way to kill Bad and just take them from his inventory, or to just kill the eggs themselves. All it truly does is give Bad a sense of control, and soothe his paranoia.

#everyone let’s remember rurus’ tweet about bad NOT being in the blunt rotation. he would try to pluck cameras out of your eyes. and he will #make it seem like it’s the most reasonable thing to do in that moment #now this is more me complaining about shit I’ve been seeing on Twitter in the tags <3 love and peace but I’ve got beef #side note - to say the people who are commenting on qBad’s paranoia or this and that are all newcomers who just ‘weren’t there to experienc #-the dark times’ or ‘weren’t there for the egg deaths/nightmares’ like you are not immune to the way bbh can make something seem so #reasonable #he’s got his own reasons to be paranoid. and most everyone agreed that the base idea of a ‘cookie jar’ would need rethinking with security #but to say qBagi (or Jorge’s/other viewers) is shortsighted or naive. when qBad is THE definition of paranoia. of overreacting. like #qBad’s reaction extends from a mixture of care hyper paranoia and trauma response (which is half that hyper paranoia)#and he will pick and pick and pick until there’s nothing left to pick at #sometimes this is helpful. a lot of the time it’s not #and on the flip side it’s like y’all bad cares about the eggs to a ridiculous degree don’t be silly here okay. he does this because he care #even without a memory in his brain he calls them ‘little one’ and is gentle like. he cares #but at the same time this doesn’t always justify his nonsense. his thought processes. he’s Uber hyper paranoid and not easy to reason with #he’s selfish he can and will jump to extremes he’s overly controlling. and he’s the worlds most unreliable narrator #I’ve been saying this I’ll keep saying this he’s an unreliable narrator! this doesn’t make everything he says or thinks bullshit but you #cannot take what he says to himself how he justifies his actions etc etc in private at face value. unless he is making it EXPLICITLY CLEAR #he’s talking from a meta perspective as the creator of his character #you have to take his perspective with a grain of salt. because he will ‘I’m just a little guy and the world is out to get me’ his way outta #everything #there is a difference between reasonable caution from learned past experiences and overly anxious paranoid responses #idk I’m running out of steam sorry this is like a second post with the tags #and again I say this as a huge qBbh enjoyer lmao #mcyt #qsmp #q!bbh #q!bagi #z speaks

31 notes · View notes

floral-hex · 11 months ago

Text

woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.

#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void #shits rough dawg #I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts #haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier #it’s cold #saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours #guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left #even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are #I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh #my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week #maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done.#I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting #woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside #hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning #can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so…#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience #anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments #I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired.#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now #ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever #you can ignore this #text

18 notes · View notes

deepseawave · 7 months ago

Note

obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog

Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️

Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D

#guys help is it time for a rebranding?? am I just gonna post about f1 now??#I still can’t believe this has all started because bestie and I were watching Ted Lasso (because I’ve been obsessed with that show for a #while now too) and I paused the episode to talk about how I really like the way Jamie interacts with kids (I’m sorry people being good with #and nice to kids is one of my weaknesses I work with kids now and have been invested in treating kids well forever)#so me saying that apparently reminded her of max and she showed me a video of him with p and yeah it was very effective in making me like #him and then we left the episode on pause and she told me a lot about f1 and max specifically cause I was interested now lmao (funny thing #is that she also got roped into it by our other friends I swear it’s speeding lmao #she also compared him to Jamie from Ted lasso (if you know you know) and showed me some heart wrenching Taylor swift edits (i haven’t #emotionally recovered yet) and yeah that’s how I started consuming way too much f1 content on YouTube and got into this whole mess lmao #oh yeah our friends also made me and another friend make a Tier list for all the drivers based on vibes alone (cause I only knew a bit about #max at that time and the other one knew nothing really) which was very funny too #especially looking back at it (we did some of them so dirty lmao 😂)#I’ve also come to the conclusion that tumblr is still one of the least annoying platforms to engage with other people (still)#YouTube is full of hate comments about drivers and stuff it’s so annoying actually #not to mention Twitter but I don’t go there and probably never will 😂#I personally don’t enjoy fics and scenarios and shipping of real people cause it makes me a bit uncomfy (not judging people who do #you do you as long as it doesn’t negatively affect anyone #but yeah I’d much rather just scroll by those here than have to look away from all the mindless hate and which driver is better discussions #everywhere else like I’m not one to engage with stuff like that but it does upset me to some #degree so yeah tumblr making memes and being rather positive about their drivers (most of what I’ve seen here of course there are gonna be #annoying people everywhere) is much more tolerable and a lot more enjoyable for me #whoops this post got away from me again oh dear #I’ve had the idea for a meme stuck in my head for days now: Max verstappen but make it if you don’t love me at my *swearing on team radio #giving spicy replies and attitude to the media maxplaining and complaining going for risky overtakes* you don’t deserve me at my *precious #interactions with p talking about his cats being a goofball with other drivers and especially danny defending other drivers driving #beautifully in the rain* it’s a package deal you can’t just pick and choose and personally I don’t even get why people complain about some #of the other stuff I appreciate someone who’s passionate and honest and genuinely kind where it matters 🤷🏻‍♀️#I think I’ve seen someone else say that but the more people complain about and criticize max the more I feel the need to defend him #god forbid women have hobbies for real (can’t believe I’ve yapped so much I can’t put more tags 💀)#also shoutout to Oscar Piastri and Danny Ric (I was so happy Oscar won even tho McLaren where being very silly in a not so funny way)

9 notes · View notes

butnotbubblegum · 7 months ago

Text

using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, read at your own risk.

#but jesus christ coming back home while already knee deep in a suicidal episode was an awful idea #like i was maybe on the verge of improving and then i came back to all of this family bullshit #and the place as well like it’s so. i don’t want to say isolated necessarily. but so much it’s own little bubble #and i spent the last eight or nine years i lived here depressed and the last six suicidal #and being back here feels like the actual place is telling me to die #and i don’t think it helps that every place i go i know or know of someone who successfully committed suicide #like. oh this person drowned themself here. or that person hung themself in these woods. or several people jumped off the side of this clif #like. it all feels like reminders of my failures. and it’s like. cmon. wouldn’t it be easy. all you need to do is jump. is slit your throat #is find a decent piece of rope. idk. but everything is so much and i just want it to stop and it feels like the ground itself #is giving me a way to do it.#i genuinely feel like i’m like 16 or 17 again. and everything that isn’t within these hills #feels like a haze and not actually real. like the concept of buxton doesn’t actually exist and my friends do not actually exist and nothing #actually exists except the place i’m in and my family and the pub #i think going back to work at the pub was a mistake; i think it’s making this worse. especially because it’s henry’s dad’s local #and where henry’s wake was. and nothing there has changed at all. it’s like the whole last year never happened.#and i only need to get through two more days but it feels like an impossible task and i keep thinking being back in york will fix me but id #if that even true like. i was suicidal before i left. and it’s going to be intense and stressful and then i have to leave again.#come back here and do three full weeks of this all over again. i haven’t even managed two yet this time around. and i feel like #such a failure and such a drain on my friends (and on one in particular) because it just #is so much and has been so long and everything is complicated and awful and i think if i hadn’t come back i’d be in a normal mental state #by now. that’s the worst fucking part. and also the whole thing of i know how to be suicidal here. i know how to not give a shit about #living here. i know how to do that. but ive never had to try before. like im trying to improve and im trying to hold on and hold off the #urges to kill myself or self harm or whatever because i said i would and because i KNOW it can be better than this and bc i love my friends #and they love me and i don’t want to upset them or make them anxious or anything like that and kat made me promise to try and im trying so #fucking hard and it feels like it’s not even worth the effort because it’s so much effort and everything is so overwhelming and awful and i #hate the way my family interacts and i just want everything to stop and idc if suicide is the cowards way out or selfish or whatever #bullshit people say it feels like the only option i can actually withstand because everything is so much pain and so much effort and so muc #everything and i can’t deal with it anymore. and also i forgot just how much i have to fucking mask in front of my parents and especially m #father and it’s so exhausting and i can’t sleep and there’s so much yelling and i just need it all to stop #i’ve had major breakdowns the last 3 nights about wanting to die so much & trying so hard to not let myself & idk how much longer i can tak

9 notes · View notes

nonsensechemicals · 1 month ago

Text

guy who’s entire self worth and will to live when it is entirely and completely reliant on other people’s opinions on their work or something (IT DOES NOT EXIST WHATSOEVER)

#the crier #can i please please please die or just become perfect like everyone else is so i don’t have to experience this thanks #please genuinely kill me i’m going to be sick nothing i make is ever going to be loved there is no amount of changes that can be made #the art will reflect the artist and the artist is insignificant and worthless and unattractive and unappealing #it all means nothing and it all was nothing. i’ve accepted this but i’m never going to be okay with it #what the hell is even left here for me. what was i doing. i’m nothing. i don’t even exist #i just. i dont know. i wanted to exist.#i wouldn’t even care if *I* was loved. can’t you love what i love too? i made it. why doesn’t anyone see anything.#there isn’t anyone here man. no sincerity. i know what sincerity looks like. all i get something you people toss to me to shut me up #i’m genuinely scared i don’t have anything else. i don’t have anything else i don’t think anyone understands that this was my life #this is my last thread #i have no other reason to be here #i don’t think anything would stop me if this falls apart too #thinking about it more i want to say that i’d be fine with loving my creations myself. even if nobody else does. i think. they still make #me happy. i’m still happy. i think i can be fine if i just love them some more. i can still love them. and that will be enough. they’re fin #and i will be fine #i can just keep loving them and it will be fine. i don’t need anytone else to love them . i’m sorry #i’m still scared that i won’t let myself handle it. i’m scared and i don’t know why i’m so dependent on it i hate it i’m so so sick of it #i don’t want attention i dont want to need it i hate that i need it and i hate how. stupid. i get #when i just THINK that it’s not enough #why can’t i just carry them and myself away and enjoy them by myself. why do i need this so bad #i dont know why i need it so bad. they don’t even care. they arent real. they wouldn’t even want that attention on them

5 notes · View notes

cant-get-no-worse · 9 months ago

Note

Your writing is always great, I need you to write something to either making us optimistic about the future of the club or to make us realize how much in deep shit we actually are please 😭

Babe, just browse through my La Liga 2022/2023 tag and mourn with me. 💕

#funnily enough I’d say this: we’ve been in deep shit since FOREVER.#the way Barcelona works (ie deep issues within structure and management) goes back DECADES.#we are spectacularly mismanaged and unprofessional on top of having a victim hood complex.#the environment - whether mediatic or politic - surrounding the club is an utter and disfunctional nightmare.#in every club’s environnement there has existed corruption and favouring friends in positions you want them in #but it is especially the case for this club.#needless to say I am not saying all of fcb’s issues stem solely from itself and no exterior factors have ever influenced it.#a historically left wing club / figure head for a region/independentism movement / opposing centralism which controls the league/refs etc.#however as culers we tend to majorly - and rightfully - highlight the latest part without ever daring to question our precious multimil club #both factors (internal and external) have to be taken into account to understand ‘the deep shit’.#that said now. as I’ve said this *is not new*. we’ve had those issues for DECADES and yet this club became what it is today.#we’ve reached highest of highs and lowest of lows while dealing with aforementioned factors.#so my very tired take this evening is to chill out; nothing we can do but watch unfold.#perhaps once again La Masia youngsters and lucky choices of coach will drag us up. perhaps new political president conflict still battling #over cruyff’s heritage or against it will bring forth a good one; perhaps not.#overall a very Chill to us all.#we’re facing greatness and decadence and been on both sides of the coin; and there’s reassurance in knowing in both case we still did great.#this club has been rotting since mid 50s and you just have to roll with it and wait for the cycles to come and go.#anon ask #sorry it doesn’t make much sense rn I’ll talk about it more later. or NOT

8 notes · View notes

thekingofthenameless · 7 days ago

Text

Hey bullying me about TKN all the time is not fucking funny to me!!!

#joy’s rants #the king of the nameless #not directed at anyone who’ll probably see this #the person never checks my blog #but i’m fucking pissed rn #i’ve literally had this story in my head for over a year #i’m slowly making progress #slowly building something out of my fucking head #and all you say is that i have 50 ocs I do nothing with and that my worldbuilding sucks and that i’m writing too much angst #and other bullshit #i made charlie actually fucked up from events even before he was a kid #but ohhhh that’s too much or whatever #but if he was left unscathed you’d say it’s unrealistic wouldn’t you?#did i fucking talk about my writing too much? huh?#back when it was a shitty ass fanfiction that had ai art that i started when i was fifteen because my blorbo died you were supportive!#and again.#why isn’t this original story i’m slowly building after a year+ of thinking and writing and worldbuilding interesting to you?#why don’t you read fucking anything i write except to gain an edge in an argument?#pretty sure i’ve told you to ya know. stop multiple times and i’ve tried to stop talking about it to you #but somehow i keep going back thinking things are gonna fucking change but they don’t #rant over #i guess

2 notes · View notes

dahldahlbills · 11 months ago

Text

just hit 50k in cryptids wip :’)

#chugging along but the book is getting WRITTEN #I have 12.5 scene left btw…#technically in my outline I’m a little past the halfway point #but I think I have ~30k left to go 👀👀#it’s always so funny when you reach a milestone like this bc despite the agony of writing the thing you get all tingly and sappy like..#oh yeah :’) I wrote all that!! I’ve made it so far!!#ive got weird feelings abt this story but i am quite proud #it’s also been a while since I’ve progressed this far with an original project and ngl.. I really missed this feeling 😭#creating is cool!!! we love writing!!!#and just you wait until I reach the end. I’m gonna be so annoying about it (<— will most likely feel too shy to even say anything)#I wrote 5 scenes in like.. twoish weeks. which doesn’t seem like a lot but with the little time I have it honestly is #so if I’m consistent I could finish this draft in ~4 weeks???? 👀👀👀 like.#in a month I could have another book done. that’d be crazy.#anyway. yeehaw :D #blahblahbills #lol I know this means nothing to most people bc I literally never share anything abt this project lol #ew I used lol at the beginning and end of that tag but I don’t feel like retyping all that 💀

13 notes · View notes

wow-an-unfunny-joke · 10 months ago

Text

Wow! Me? Venting again????? Who could’ve guessed???

So I’ve realized that I’ve got a thing about bandaids, as in I need to ‘earn’ my bandaids. I don’t know where I got this false scarcity from but in my head I can’t just use a bandaid Willy-nilly it needs to be bad enough to deserve a bandaid, so I either leave my cuts uncovered, go deeper than I meant to, or do way more than I meant to, all because I need to earn my bandaids.

7 notes · View notes

no1ryomafan · 5 months ago

Text

I finished big o like a year ago but never went back to the manga-I really should-yet it’s still taken up so much space in my brain not only just because of how much of a unique mecha it is while still staying true to the genre but for the crazy ass shit the end of the show drops on you and id love to make a post about my interpretation of the ending cause ive thought about it a lot but the issue is even if i know most of my posts go over peoples heads and i can just put “big o spoilers don’t read if you haven’t finished/want to see it” at the top so people don’t accidentally read it I really don’t know how to DESCRIBE the twist.

Like this shit really makes getter being a cosmic horror be such a casual and normal statement in comparison which is something I never thought could be top given two of the major anime’s end with one or more of our protagonists going to fuck off land.

But at least I can tell you that happened where as big o it’s like “what the FUCK did I just witness what do you mean ITS ALL FAKE” and that’s as far and vague as I can go without spoiling it completely.

#meg text #the big o #I want to rewatch big o but I need to finish the manga or actually watch something new hmmmmm #I can say with confidence nothing will be more of a mind fuck then that ending and if there is I’d be scared as fuck #it’s not like it’s been done before but the way it’s executed it’s the most existential dread thing ever- and also again WHAT THE FUCK #legit after the ending this show left a permanent place in my mind next to being a good ass show #getter will always be my main fixation though like no one tops ryoma nagare but MAN #big o a fucking gem #but also the most confusing thing I’ve ever witness when you get to the end #so I can’t recommend it to everyone even if I encourage anyone who likes mecha to watch it #I feel like suggesting it to a non mecha fan is risky tbh #like even if it be a nice starter I feel mecha that genre people would think is confusing after seeing Eva or again getter endings #but it’s not REALLY it just depends on the show #most of them have a grounded conclusive ending #but the ones that leave a impact have the most ???? ones

4 notes · View notes

raeofgayshine · 10 months ago

Text

I wish I could go back and tell younger me that I would in fact find that place one day full of people that I adore deeply and who I know love me in return. Who make me feel wanted and cared for and appreciated in a way I never thought would be possible. And none of it required hiding, or forcing myself to be a person I’m not. And I still have that space even though I’m aroace.

For the first time ever, I see a future where I’m not alone. And I wish I could go back and tell my younger self it would happen. It’s possible to not be constantly lonely.

#ravenpuff rambles #I’ve been lucky enough in my life to make amazing friends several times #several of whom are still in my life now #but it’s only been recently that I’ve felt like I truly found my place #I don’t know how to explain it #I guess up until now I have always gone into friendships expecting them to end and holding back just a little bit #and this is the first time I don’t feel like I have to run because I don’t feel like these people are going to leave me #maybe it’s just because one of them is also aroace and we’ve talked a lot about those similar feelings of being left behind #never had someone quite get that before #and maybe it’s just I feel more willing to open my heart #admittedly this group of ours went through some shit together and that’s how the friendships really started forming #and so maybe that helps #but it’s like #Have you ever met someone who is so much like you in so many ways that its like the joke of ‘#‘can I copy your homework?’ ‘yeah just be sure to change it so no one knows’#It’s a weird thing of feeling so completely and totally seen by somebody sometimes without having to say a word #anyways #I’m really happy with this little place I found and I wish I could tell younger me #and also tell xem that no it doesn’t look like a fanfic dream #no im not their person but yeah they’re kind of mine but that’s okay #its nothing and everything like I always thought of #and for the first time in my life I don’t feel a crush sense of loneliness #yes I wish I could see them in person #but I can be okay with everything I do get

4 notes · View notes