#+ my ex from when I was human. i killed my human self but we're trying again

[raziraphale]

yeah so not really the doctor's fault for falling in love with the first blonde woman he meets when he turned human. like whatever he's an amnesiac. it's annoying but he gets a pass. but inviting the woman to travel with him afterwards ?? martha should've left your ass defenseless in 1913 stop acting like thissssss

[spotaus]

Hi guys!! This was a wild impulse series of drawings that I had no intention of finishing and yet here we are- uhhh. I'm also finally moving so to my mutuals: I am VERY sorry if I am m.i.a most of this week 🫡

Quick oc Ramble before I finish up with my plans for today!

Favorite Oc: Ichor! I've posted about him before, but he's *technically* also my very first utmv oc. (I decided there were no repeats-) Ichor has been here since the start of my obsession and still haunts me today. He's a Diety of Punishment after death, but was chained in shackles that restrict his powers, so instead of a God of Punishment, he's the self-proclaimed God or Puns!

First OC: I'm almost 90% sure his name isn't actually Scada but we're rolling with it. This was my 2nd-ish oc for utmv! In his universe, instead of Dusting monsters turn into a weird soul-goop. He's always had weak HP so when he almost died to something stupid one day as a kid, he expended a lot of magic to keep himself alive. His father, Gaster, wasn't very happy that his son was now half-dead so Scada was heavily separated from busy places like the capital and the whole family picked up and moved to Snowdin!

Latest OC: Phishbone. Phishbone was a Papyrus from a universe where Gaster (his father) took both him and Sans to the lab. Gaster trained Sans in the soul studies, but taught Papyrus how to weird concentrated human souls. Because Paps loved puzzles, Gaster constructed a rubix-cuve to contain soul essence for Paps to use in emergencies. When the universe corrupted, Core Frisk was only able to salvage Phishbone. He saw turmoil in the multiverse and decided that he'd set some things right! He has a pocket dimension where he can control anything about it, and usually pulls fueding people into it to force them to play games and use teamwork to overcome their frustration and escape!

Easiest to Draw OC: B.G. Sans (Bubble Gum Sans). She was a skeleton monster who just barely survived the war on the surface. Having been blinded by humans, Gaster took her in and helped her to live underground. She was the "Royal Seer", and was only able to see visions of the future (ex. The freedom of monsterkind). Her brother Gaster had two sons, Sans (who was named after her) and Papyrus. One day a human cornered BG and her nephews in the lab, and she was killed protecting them. Her soul was taken to The Void, and everyone but her family forgot her. Now she and Gaster control the void together, and 1 by 1 all the monsters underground escape the resets and join the Void!

Hardest to Draw OC: Ec-4o.Verse Ink. This guy is a menace. I designed him to have several robotic body parts to resemble a chimera, but I forget where they are at all times. + I always hate his outfit design??? He's on my list to fix his outfit.

[purplink8]

Ok, you convinced me. Light is not a sociopath

I would say Light is a Narcissist because his motivations and behaviours can be explained with this criteria. All his murders come from this idea of becoming a god and his impulsivity appears when his ego is being attacked, his trigger is being called "evil" or something that reflects negatively on his idealized image of himself.

I agree that Light isn't a psychopath or a sociopath since he's whole world view and motivations can be explained by Narcissism, however he can still have "Antisocial" traits such as lack of emotional control, impulsivity, break rules to fulfill their goals, etc (criminal traits, not necessarily psychopathy/sociopathy traits).

You can see this clearly on Ted Bundy because he is very Narcissistic but also has antisocial traits, WITHOUT having any of the cognitive impairments of the psychopath or sociopath.

Ted started killing women after his ex girlfriend rejected him, this hurt his ego and this triggered his anger, so he started to vent by killing women that looked like her (dark hair, line in the middle,etc).

We can see his Narcissism on his motivation (ego, rejection) and his Antisocial traits on his killing (impulsive, lack of control) however we can also see his empathy: He would let go some women because they had a daughter just like him or they liked the same radio station.

Ted even said that he didn't like talking to his victims much because otherwise it made it harder for him to kill them, this is a twisted and selfish version of empathy, but it's there…

The only one that could probably classify as a psychopath (if he was human) is Ryuk.

I wonder if you mean narcissism in general (as just a personality trait) or NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) specifically? If it's the latter then I'm afraid that I shall not discuss it any further as my knowledge about psychology is very limited and it would be unfair of me to share my uninformed (for the most part) views. Nevertheless, I will allow myself to state that I (personally) don't believe that Light has NPD or any other personality disorder for that matter.

If it's the former (i.e. narcissism outside the clinical sense, i.e., one admiring (or being interested in) one's self way too much), I can see how you came to this conclusion. I still disagree as this headcanon is not for me. I'm not going to tell you to change your headcanon or anything (you do you, as the saying goes), I'll just give my opinions on why I don't think he's a Narcissist (even if we're speaking in colloquial terms). Moving on to your ask~

Ok, you convinced me. Light is not a sociopath I would say Light is a Narcissist because his motivations and behaviours can be explained with this criteria. All his murders come from this idea of becoming a god and his impulsivity appears when his ego is being attacked, his trigger is being called "evil" or something that reflects negatively on his idealized image of himself.

First of all, I'm glad that we're in mutual agreement of Light not being a sociopath. But I differ from your opinion that 'All his murders come from this idea of becoming a god', I guess the anime is to blame for this assessment of Light's character. I prefer the manga and will answer this ask in accordance with it. I'm linking this post again + this one (coz it's that important in fundamentally understanding Light's motivations for becoming Kira).

Let me reiterate my points on how Light's murders do not come for his idea of becoming a god in short.

Light finds the Death Note -> Tries it out of curiosity -> oh no! Otoharada *actually* dies -> must be a coincidence -> tests the Note again -> nope! definitely not a coincidence -> him, the model citizen, now a murderer of 2 people? -> let's get rid of this evil thing -> but hey that'd imply it was a mistake, wouldn't it? & Light Yagami doesn't make mistakes = it wasn't a mistake -> it was all for the good of this world!

Observe Light's thinking here:

"...But come on, I can't quit. So I lose my peace of mind. So I sacrifice people's lives...Somebody has to do this!! The world needs to be cleaned up."

There is no mention of planning to become a God of the New world, instead it sounds more like someone dying as a martyr for his cause.

Before meeting Ryuk, Light views using the notebook as a necessary sacrifice of his peace of mind and of other people's lives for the betterment of the world. The important thing to note here is that it's Light telling Ryuk from his POV but the readers should know better than to fall for Light's words. From the moment Ryuk arrived, he is putting on a performance.

So what's the truth? His first 2 kills were unintentional, we know that. Light thought that he was doomed to lose his life/soul for the sin of using a Death God's notebook, we also know that. Combine these two facts with:

Light doesn't make mistakes. Especially not on such an enormous scale;

Light is an ambitious fellow of mere 17 years. He hasn't had a chance of finding his life's purpose this young. If he were to die now, he'd not be able to achieve his life's purpose; respectively.

And we can conclude that all of Light's actions are due to him denying vehemently to himself that he fucked up (his first two kills) + he's scared of dying (at the Shinigami's hands) without making any noticeable difference in the world. These reasons contribute to him killing a LOT of criminals with heart attacks before Ryuk's arrival.

But Light does say this to Ryuk:

"And I...will reign over a new world."

So yeah, an explanation from my side is due, which will be given shortly. Let's break it down:

Till now, I have provided the reasons why Light went on his killing spree. What about his infamous 'God complex' that seemed to appear out of nowhere? The answer will be found once we understand why Light reacts the way he does to Ryuk.

He screams and falls on the floor as he sees Ryuk:

He, internally, believes that Ryuk will kill him for using the notebook and that's why he tries to buy his time, so he may persuade Ryuk otherwise.

He holds eye contact with Ryuk as he gets up.

And says, "I'm not surprised to see you, Ryuk. In fact...I've been waiting for you..." Read what's between the lines. Light wants Ryuk to believe that killing him would be a waste as he's 'not like other humans'. He shows him the Note containing all the names he's written in the span of just 5 days:

And Light's keikaku (to stay alive for as long as possible after the Shinigami's arrived) so far is working! We know this as Ryuk is positively impressed by how Light has surpassed his expectations. "Most people would be too scared." This is exactly what Light was hoping for, the chances that Ryuk would kill this particular human, who is not like most people, has decreased somewhat, in Light's POV.

You wouldn't kill a bird that lays golden eggs, now would you? In any case, Light has established to Ryuk that he's a special human, different from others. Light is still scared that Ryuk would kill him that he has to confirm it with the latter:

Only for Ryuk to inform him that nope, he won't do anything to Light.

When Light double-checks with Ryuk is there really is no price for using the death note, Ryuk tells him that when Light dies, Ryuk'll be the one writing his name down. Translation- Ryuk will, for sure, write his name into his notebook someday to kill Light.

A Death God will be the judge of how long you'll live. What do you do?

Ask him more questions, of course, such as 'Why did you choose me?' To get what Ryuk's deal is. What he wants. To figure out if there's a way to please him so that Light may live a longer life probably. Ryuk's answer that he didn't choose Light, he just dropped it and Light happened to pick it up does not benefit Light in the slightest. He has to work out Ryuk's motivations fast; lest he be killed.

Ryuk dropped the Death Note in the human world because he was bored.

What's the impression Light got from this? How can he use this information to his advantage? See for yourself:

Light, at the earliest opportunity he gets, attempts to establish a connection with Ryuk, a common ground if you will, by saying that he killed all those people because he was "bored too..."

Just how true is that statement? Compare it with these reasons I gave previously behind Light's actions:

"And we can conclude that all of Light's actions are due to him denying vehemently to himself that he fucked up (his first two kills) + he's scared of dying (at the Shinigami's hands) without making any noticeable difference in the world. These reasons contribute to him killing a LOT of criminals with heart attacks before Ryuk's arrival."

Light *is* bored at the start of canon but that isn't the only reason for his actions/killings. So why the alteration?

I believe it's because his story of sacrificing himself for the good of the whole world will likely not be appealing to Ryuk. We know this as we can see just how less of fucks Ryuk gives to how Light's affected by killing other humans.

The 'Okay.' says it all lmao

In all seriousness, this issue isn't lost on Light, he decides that he needs to up the entertainment factor for Ryuk to avoid getting killed. He changes his behavior accordingly. He won't mention that he planned on dying a martyr for his cause as that sounds boring as hell. What he will mention is:

"I'm going to make the whole world know I'm here...that somebody is passing righteous judgment on them!!" which is infinitely more entertaining than the truth (that even Light won't admit to himself (i.e., him covering his fuck-ups by denying it was a fuck-up via performing even more fuck-ups intentionally)).

After all, what can be more entertaining than a teenager trying his hand to play God of the new world?

What I'd like to point out is: Light does not have a 'God' complex (at least in the beginning of the story). He says "I will reign over a new world." which means he views becoming a 'God' as a power he'll gain in the future by killing people. If he did have a God complex at this juncture in time, he'd say 'I am the God of the new world.' I don't think he means God in a religious context, he means the power to make his own rules in his own world as God.

And y'know what? Light's plan works! Ryuk's very excited about watching Light's 'aspirations' to Godhood unfold:

From this point onward, all his murders come from the fact that he needs to entertain Ryuk (as Light knows all too well that him being alive + given the Note is in exchange for Ryuk having fun) NOT from his idea of becoming a God.

Again I don't quite agree with your opinion that 'and his impulsivity appears when his ego is being attacked, his trigger is being called "evil" or something that reflects negatively on his idealized image of himself'.

It's close to the truth but not quite the truth imho. Like yes I agree his trigger is being called "evil", and sometimes he does get impulsive when his ego is being attacked (insert L saying 'Kira is childish & hates losing') yeah. But like his image of himself isn't that idealized. He's used to being the best yet after becoming Kira, it's hard for him to continue insisting that he's righteous but he does it anyway.

However, he does know in his heart that what he's doing is evil. And that's why he can't shake it off when his father says this re: Kira:

He's not so impulsive here, I'd say. Even when his image is being reflected on negatively by his own dad. After his dad's death, he admits to the task force that Kira probably thinks what he's doing is evil. That's why I say that his self-image isn't that idealized.

Light has tremendous confidence, to be sure. And this is reinforced by the results he achieves in his life too. Narcissists tend to have an exaggerated sense of importance but that isn't the case for Light. Because he IS the number 1 in Japan, no question about it + no exaggeration on Light's part to think so, as it's proven by the national test scores.

I agree that Light isn't a psychopath or a sociopath since he's whole world view and motivations can be explained by Narcissism, however he can still have "Antisocial" traits such as lack of emotional control, impulsivity, break rules to fulfill their goals, etc (criminal traits, not necessarily psychopathy/sociopathy traits).

Gentle reminder that there is no need for explaining any character's evil actions by a mental illness/personality disorder. I don't think he has Narcissism. I also believe that there's not a case to be made for his lack of emotional control when we repeatedly see Light (and ridicule him for it) of being too in control over his emotions. For instance, when L revealed his identity and Light was nonchalance personified. When L accused Light of being Kira, and Light's response was:

So! As we can see Light Yagami maintains a stringent control over his emotions. What happened during the Lind. L. Tailor incident was not a consistent habit of his. Light is the opposite of impulsive, he spends so much of his time thinking what his next move will be so I feel it won't do justice to his character if we call him impulsive.

Yes, he does break rules to fulfil his goals, like killing, hacking etc.

I'm not knowledgeable about irl murderers (& psychology )who may or may not be narcissist so apologies for not replying to that portion of your ask.

The only one that could probably classify as a psychopath (if he was human) is Ryuk.

I can't see Ryuk as being a psychopath. I'd say to tell me your reasoning for this judgment of yours but then again, I don't have sufficient knowledge to have informed views on this.

In conclusion, Light's murders are not due to his god complex, or his narcissism (I don't think Light has narcissism. Period.)

[alicepao13]

Hudson and Rex S02E11 - Rex Machina

Fun pun. Even better because deus ex machina is an unexpected power or event saving a seemingly hopeless situation, especially as a contrived plot device in a play or novel, and that happens often in this show.

Literally all crime show procedurals have done the "car kills human" one way or another. So, again, we're not looking to reinvent the wheel here. We're looking for a fun episode. Which it was, mostly the parts with Terabyte which I thought was a clever invention from whoever wrote the script.

Terabyte's first appearance!

How dare you.

This is a ridiculous idea. It just begs to be vandalized.

Rex's interactions with all the robotic parts is hilarious. I can only imagine what dogs think about all these things. Judging by their reactions on the roomba vacuum cleaners, not good things.

Being on bad terms with your daughter because you're a trucker and she's about to revolutionize the car industry and maybe your job won't exist by the time you retire is... completely stupid. Yes, any other trucker would have the right to feel threatened but her own father?

Dude, you parked in the middle of the street.

Sarah has already adopted Terabyte.

I live for Rex's jealousy.

Stop being so cute.

"Hoomans, if you don't get that thing away from me..."

Well, up until that moment, I had not realized that the one sided-glass in that interrogation room can also become... two-sided? Also, fun scene.

Charlie and Sarah walking their dogs.

I completely forgot it was Sarah that named him Terabyte!

"He looks like a terabyte". What precisely does a terabyte, a measure of counting digital data storage, look like?

Rex: Damnit, Terabyte is going to blow this case wide open. I have to step up my game.

Sarah: [about Terabyte] It's a he, not an it. Charlie: *sending silent signals to Jesse to just go with it*

Charlie: Good job, Terabyte. Rex: OH HE DID NOT! I'll make it look like an accident.

I love subtitles.

Sarah: Where's Terabyte? Jesse: Charging. Rex: He's in here! And I'm smelling fried circuits!

I concur.

I love the justification of, "I blackmailed a company and murdered a person when my ex got involved into an unrelated to said company motorcycle accident which left him paralyzed, because self-driving cars are ruining my hometown which is solely dependent on the driving industry". I don't think automation made you a shitty person, you were always one. Also, I'm not sure if that stands medically, but it's implied that if they hadn't gone to the trouble of staging this to seem like the car's fault, he might not have had permanent damage to his spine. So, she traded his legs for 10k per month.

lol they're opening the plant in Axtonville, a town where everyone is a trucker? Are truckers and plant workers interchangeable?

I actually dislike the pro "our company cares" endings they sometimes do. This isn't the first one.

"That's right, bitches. Despite Jesse's best efforts to murder me, I'm back."

Might happen sooner than you think.

Definitely not. I'm going to be watching Rex adaptations forever.

"No, we're not friends now. It's a 'keep your enemies close' thing."

I was glad to see Terabyte in later episodes. Although I don't think he ever moved again. I think at some point Rex probably had enough and ripped his circuits to shreds. The damage was irreparable. Everyone was sad. Rex wasn't.

[theic-manic]

Thank you Hermes for trolling an ex by...

... making my messenger read receipts malfunction, causing them to think that I was leaving them on read when I hadn't even read the messages. We're not on bad terms, it's just that this ex has always had communication problems (hence they're an ex) so the irony of them taking being left on read does not escape me. And since today is Wednesday, aka Mercury/Hermes Day, (Odin's day for the Norse pagan girlies) I would like to remind everyone that mental health self-care is disabling read receipts if being left on read is a trigger for you. I also invite you all to take the time to reflect on whether this feature is genuinely beneficial to you. In a workplace environment (such as using MS Teams) there are certainly benefits on a practical level assuming that everyone is able to act normal about it. Outside of that, the harm this feature has done to our socialising and communication skills outweighs most practical benefits in our personal lives.

From a practical perspective, it is very helpful to know the status of a sent message. But from a human perspective, blue checks promote the very misuse of technology that plagues the texting generation. Knowing your message has been read brings with it nagging anticipation of a quick reply — one that is not always possible or preferable for the recipient to oblige. This breeds an expectation for text conversations to function with the same level of responsiveness and engagement as a verbal conversation. These expectations reinforce the perception that texting is synonymous with talking, while its dangerous interpersonal shortcomings remain unaddressed. So turn off your Read Receipts. Don’t let the implicit social pressure of blue checks dictate how you text. The truth is, we could all learn to live with a little waiting. And if you really need an immediate response, thankfully, we've developed incredible technology to make that happen: just pick up the phone and call. A real conversation never killed anyone.

Source

[pico-digital-studios]

Into, Across and Beyond! Scripting: Canon Aversion Attempts

(Shadows in the mockups by @becdoesthings)

Dimension EV-2019 - Memorial Park, Calteron

One day following the full memory restoration of Team Sonic, Nitro and Amy were just out by Calteron's memorial park to pass the time together.

Amy: Ahh... Such a wonderful day today!

Nitro: Heh, yeah. And it's definitely more wonderful with what happened to change our dimension to be better.

Amy: I agree. Is Melanie doing okay, by the way?

Nitro: Yeah, he's getting there. It's just gonna be a couple more days until the seizures he's been having die down.

She sat on one of the park's benches.

Amy: Wanna have a sit down?

She noticed Nitro was a little worried about something.

Amy: Nitro? Are you feeling alright?

Nitro: Amy, I...

Nitro: I think it's about time I admitted something important to you while we're alone together. It's related to the whole timeline shebang.

Amy: Oh?

Nitro: You know those alternate versions of myself we've come across before? Well... most of them ended up being of my OWN making.

Amy: Huh? How?

Nitro: I'll explain as best as I can to you. So, following the whole reset, me, my family and Amelia retained our memories of the old timeline, and I wanted to do what it took to ensure all of us could live through that fateful attack that cost my dad his life. However, it seems to be a locked-in "canon event" for me... Nothing I did could keep him safe; only my mom and siblings made it through again to this timeline. However, with each alteration I made, something changed each time; where I went in each alternate universe.

(MLP cast sprites by urimas on DeviantArt; custom Nitro Platinumheart sprite by me)

Nitro: One iteration was when I ended up in Equestria, which became my home after I befriended the Mane Six. Nitro Platinumheart mentioned that he was found by Twilight and Spike in a storm, and after she and Princess Luna uncovered the harsh past, Twilight phased through into my world with NP following, in a bid to ensure those close to him were alright. He didn't take long to settle in as his new self, however, when he took time to get used to Equestria in general, alongside the adjacent human world Twilight had visited before.

Nitro: The second one I remember most was a counterpart of myself ending up in an alternate Philly. I think I remember his nickname became "Nite-friend", since, in that universe, Daddy Dearest managed to kill Boyfriend, though he passed on his mantle to the guy before the finishing blow, which caused DD's family to drift apart from him. I'm happy they were able to take him in for safety, as he would've been homeless otherwise. Ever since, feelings began to blossom between Nitefriend and Girlfriend, and, well, the rest is history there.

Nitro: The third one I remember was a version of myself who ended up in a binary world of horrors, Sonic.EXEs included, thanks to Toxinfect almost stopping his escape. Having been infused with dark matter energy, he developed an immunity to regular lethal attacks from monsters like an alternate version of Exault he came across, but it came at the cost of giving him a glaring headache every time. Nitro.DLL, as he became known, was out to help survivors from other realms, including alternate Earths where Sonic.EXE was conquering the land and claiming people's souls, with all survivors being taken to an out-of-bounds space base for medical care and accommodation.

Nitro: I know there's many iterations of me in alternate universes, but there was always a few things in common between them:

The places of residence me and my siblings camped at before the split were Royal Woods, a town where Isabelle (AC) lived, and the WNA Academy in Eagle City.

My father, Marc Smith, was always doomed to die, no matter what. The only timeline he DIDN'T die in was that one where the attack never happened to begin with, and the one where me and Amelia started our family.

All of my counterparts except my adult self contracted EXE blood at one point, either from a sustained injury or following a first EXE encounter. It... must be why I'm able to sustain energies like the Sacred Ring without my body breaking under pressure.

The two had been having a small walk while discussing this, stopping by the park's sunflower field.

Amy: To think this all happened because you miss your dad so much... Oh, I'm so sorry to hear, Chris.

Nitro: Yeah, I really appreciate your concern for me. It's just... trying to play God to find a definitive happy future is just so hard for me. I really wished we could've had it all completely worked out before this point, but it's just so difficult...

Amy: Hey, look at me. If anything, your self-awareness of the old timeline actually did a LOT better than you may have realised.

Nitro: Wait, you really think that?

Amy: I don't think it, I know it. I mean, think about it. You coming into my life helped me see myself in a new light, and gave me a chance to just step back and not intrude on Sonic's love life. Plus, even in this timeline, you saved all of Mobius from Toxinfect's tyranny, and we all remain grateful to you for that!

Nitro: And... what else?

Amy: Well, the fact your actions in this timeline snapped Seak out of his insanity, kept Wade and all his newer friends out of that sentient virus's grasp, and even ensured we still have an Eggman to take on at the end of it all. Besides, no matter what iteration of yourself you may be, there's one thing I know you've always maintained.

She stepped closer to him with a smile on her face.

Amy: The kind heart you've always had, which I'd never trade for anything else.

Nitro smiled back.

Nitro: Thanks, Ames. I... I'm really happy you're here for me.

Amy: No problem.

The two shared a quick hug with each other.

Amy: You know, why don't we head to the Fish-n-Chips place after that talk?

Nitro: Heh, that's a wonderful idea!

Amy: Brilliant! Let's get going!

They started walking off.

Nitro: You know, I'd really like one of those jam and cream doughnuts for dessert.

Amy: Sure! We'll see what we can do about that.

[thsc-stuffs]

Remus & Riella Playlist Analysis

I SAID I'D DO IT FUCK IT HERE GOES NOTHING here's the playlist! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7rHcxumJVqcFaJ2gQhTm98?si=1827a6c6b9254fa8

These are just ones I have particularly big feelings and words for, a lot of these songs are just on here because Sweet Love Songs or they have Vibes

Monster | Imagine Dragons - They both struggle with their inhuman natures, and feel they'll be seen differently for it. They both worry the other will fear them. { "If I told you what I was, would you turn your back on me? And if I seem dangerous, would you be scared?" } - Riella has always had a sense of Otherness, both in her Siren heritage and her being trans. All she ever wanted was to be like her sisters, but achieving that meant facing that she was different. It meant facing the 'monster' within her. { "Ever since I could remember, everything inside of me just wanted to fit in" } - Remus didn't want to live his life as a werewolf. He accepted the offer to be turned out of desperation, while believing he was going to die, but now he has to face what he's become. He's spent his entire life running because of his otherness, but that's not what he wants. { "Can I clear my conscience? If I'm different from the rest, do I have to run and hide?" } - Both feel that they've become monsters, literally and metaphorically. They've killed, hurt, lied, and they've both tied these things back to their inhuman natures. They see themselves as humans fighting against the 'monster' of their inhuman parts. { "I'm only a man with a candle to guide me- I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me. A monster, a monster, I've turned into a monster. A monster, a monster- and it keeps getting stronger!" }

King And Lionheart | Of Monsters and Men - Pretty self-explanatory. Sweet love song. Specifically feels like their growth over time, how they've fallen in love and looking back on how far they've come from the beginning. { "Though far away, though far away, though far away- we're still the same, we're still the same, we're still the same." } - Their time on the airship makes up a major part of their relationship!! So many romantic and emotional moments looking down on the world!! { "And in the winter night sky, ships are sailing, looking down on those bright blue city lights- and they won't wait, and they won't wait, and they won't wait. We're here to stay, we're here to stay, we're here to stay." }

Will I Find My Home - Acoustic |Juniper Vale and Vian Izak - OH BOY. Remus and Riella both left home far too young, misguided and unsure, against their better wishes- Remus wishing his father was still around, Riella being taken against her will. They didn't get to leave on grand ambitions, nor with some brilliant moment of freedom- they ran with blood on their hands. { "I left the nest when I was far too young; never set my flight for the sun." } - Riella has already been hurt by love, her ex being the one to sell her out, so she's so wary when she starts falling for Remus. Is he worth the hurt? Her love for him could be her glowing freedom, but would it be her downfall once more? { "Are you worth getting lost over, love? If I offer myself will it lift me up? Are you worth letting into my heart? If I go and get caught will I fall too far?" } - Remus watched his home fall apart. He's so desperate to have that feeling back, but he doesn't know where to start- except here is Riella, and here is love, and isn't that the same? { "Will I find my home, will I find my home- my home in you?" } - Over time in the clan, and in their relationship, they start to find their own passions and ask themselves if the risk may be worth it. They're learning to think it could be. { "Icarus thought he'd find his place a little higher; it's curious, the flame of the fire." } - Finally, after so long, they admit their love. It's a safety net beneath their fall, the catalyst to their growth and strength. They trust and love each other endlessly, unconditionally. No matter how badly the world burns them, they know the other is safety. { "Be my place to land when I'm tired- when my feathers are burnt by the fire. I surrender myself to your arms, just hold me tighter." }

Second Child, Restless Child | The Oh Hellos - Remus song time! He has big feelings about his childhood and how it's led to his view on the world in adulthood. { "I was born the second child, with a spirit runnin wild, runnin free. And they saw trouble in my eyes- they were quick to recognize the devil in me. See, I was born a restless child, and I could hear the world outside callin me." } - His need to get away was what led him to the clan, after all, and that led him to Riella. { "Can you hear it on the wind? Can you feel it underneath your skin? You've got to go on, farther than you've ever gone! You've got to run far from all you've ever known!" }

I have to break up the text block, so: COMMENCE CRANE WIVES

The Garden | The Crane Wives - This one's mostly Riella, babyyy. She's watched her world fall apart too many times, sometimes she can't help but feel like she's taken the wrong path in life. She worries that she's trapped Remus and herself both within the danger of the clan, and that someday her Karma will come for her. { "My stone, my shield, my steady hand. Hold your light to the darkness in my head. Put your ear to my heart or set your teeth against my throat- give me something pretty to wear beneath my blood-stained clothes! My darling, the devil knows my name!" }

Can't Go Back | The Crane Wives - The lyrics speak for themselves on this one, with it being both of them to the other. { "It's time to learn to be more forgiving of yourself, and your sins. And those mistakes you've made- you've got to try and take the lessons away from them, and leave the rest behind." } { "All the self-loathing in the world won't change a thing. Cause you can't go back, darling. The time has come for moving on. You can't be always tryin to dig up what you've already buried- you've got to carry, carry, carry on." } { "It's not fair! (When have you ever known the world to be a fair place?) It's not fair! (All things end and all things change.) It's not fair! (You'll look back and laugh someday.) It's not fair! (Or, at least, you'll learn to be okay.)" }

Curses - Live | The Crane Wives - Another vibes one, this time Riella @ Remus about her whole Siren thing. She's lost and scared and confused, reaching out to him for comfort and reassurance that he still loves her despite this. { "There's a fire in my brain and I'm burning up- oh my, oh my. Keep running for the sink but the well is dry- oh my, oh my. Every word I say is kindling, but the smoke clears when you're round. Oh, stay with me, my darling, when my walls start burning down, down, down..." } - This change is a echo of her life before, of the family who abandoned her, and it's just as hauntingly familiar as it is horrifyingly new. She hasn't ever gotten to unpack those feelings, nor the realization that Sirens are predators, and now they're haunting her. She no longer feels at home with herself, not until she can work through this. { "This house says my name like an elegy- oh my, oh my. Echoing where my ghosts all used to be- oh my, oh my. There's still cobwebs in the corners and the backyard's full of bones! Won't you stay with me, my darling, when this house don't feel like home?" } - She feels that she's doomed, and that Remus will be dragged down with her. Riella's terrified what this all will mean for them, yet begs for Remus to stay by her side through this. { "Oh, ashes ashes, dust to dust- the devil's after both of us! Oh, lay my curses all to rest- make a mercy out of me!" } - Despite her fear, she can't deny the changes taking place, that she's unlocked her Siren and there's no turning back. All she can do is pray that Remus doesn't turn his back on her. { "This tired old machine is a-rumbling- oh my, oh my. Singing songs to the secrets behind my eyes- oh my, oh my. All my aching bones are trembling, and I may yet fall apart- won't you stay with me, my darling, when the war starts in my heart? When the war starts in my heart!" } { "Oh, ashes ashes, dust to dust- tell me I am good enough. Lay my curses out to rest, make a mercy out of..." }

How to Rest |The Crane Wives - Another Riella one? Another Riella one. This one is her singing to her past self, looking back on her reluctance and refusal to love again. Her younger self had hidden away, convinced enough walls built around her heart could protect her, but the Riella of the present knows better. { "Go on, stack the cinderblocks in a cold sweat. Build yourself a citadel amidst the foothills of regret. And though you've convicned yourself, you're safe and sound within- the thing you fear the most never need get in." } - She remembers how much the isolation hurt, how badly she missed love. Having her family and boyfriend cut her off hurt so much, and hiding away was only making it worse. { "You'll miss the sun. The warmth of another's embrace- you'll need room to run, and something to chase. And that thing you fear will coax you out of that unholy place- cause all you've ever wanted is an escape." } { "Those of us who vow never to love again, to love again, are making liars out of honest men. It's not something that you put to bed, hang your head and just forget; no, love don't know how to rest. No, love don't know how to rest." } - She looks back on the years of heartache and suffering, both before and after joining the clan, to the hours spent trying to forget and force herself not to love, and she laments to her younger self; { "Darling, when you've tired, you will see. There's no safe place, no sanctuary. It's not just child's play, a game of hide and seek- don't make it harder than it has to be." } { "Here's the truest thing I've ever known- the heart is just a muscle with a rhythm all its own. It doesn't stop when you decide not to move on! The heart knows nothing of your love or of your loss! So life just keeps on ticking by, compelled by instinct to survive, and love's the only thing worth being alive for!" }

Turn out the Lights | The Crane Wives - Light-hearted comfort, directed at each other! Pretty self-explanatory! { "You don't have to believe every single thought that tumbles through your head, just cause it sounds like you talkin! Sometimes all you can do is say goodnight, and tuck your demons into bed, cause they're not worth fighting. Turn out the lights on your racing mind! Turn out the lights on your racing mind! What good has ever come of it, what answers will you find? Turn out the lights on your mind!" }

[horseforeplay]

i am 99% certain i know who you're talking about. we're still in mutuals because i'm afraid of her after noticing how many rumors about p***** t***** linked back to her but what the fuck happened if you don't mind sharing?

hmmmmmm yea. no comment re: p.t. but i can speak to my own experience

it's still hard to talk about but i was dazzled by a relationship with a B-list tumblr lesbian when i was seventeen and she was nineteen where she used me as her therapist and refused to let me leave when i realized the relationship was wildly unbalanced and unfulfilling. she was incredibly charming online but during her first physical visit it became clear that she did not care about who i was as a human being and we had zero chemistry. we kissed maybe twice during a nearly three-year relationship and when i attempted to get out she would threaten self-harm and suicide in retaliation. this went on (with my total compliance -- i can't think of a single way she abused me which i did not eagerly collaborate with her on and make compassionate excuses for) until, about four months after our "official" breakup (one she vetted for nearly six months before she felt comfortable going public with the news)............ i was taking a two-hour exam at college and left the classroom to find almost thirty voicemails calling me names, accusing me of cheating, telling me she hoped i was happy with whoever had poisoned me against her. four months after the breakup. and i finally blocked her phone number. and she made tumblr post after tumblr post (including one with my phone number so her followers would call me to "talk some sense into me") stating that if i did not speak to her she had a plan for killing herself. i have comprehensive screenshots of this meltdown, but they are boggling and upsetting and i don't care to share them in the context of just uhhhh LOL answering an anon on my succession blog. so i deleted the blog i'd had since i was a kid. i had enough. i cannot tell you how surreal it was to break down and call her, weeks after, just missing this person who had alienated me from my friends and family to such an extent that i believed she was one of the only people in my life who loved me, to hear zero emotion in her voice as she told me it was over because my blog was gone. the relationship was no longer a public source of clout for her and therefore not worth her attention. she immediately moved on to bullying a different cartoonist into submission. i did not realize the extent of what i endured until i was able to connect with other people who dated her and we were able to compare stories. i even apologized to her, owning up to my behavior in the relationship (after a stint in codependents anonymous and early transition anxieties made me dead-set on doing the right thing with zero regard for the reality of my situation) and then realized with horror that someone she abused soon after me also apologized around exactly the same time. all of our stories had frightening similarities -- the idyllic super-online early days, her dead-faced disinterest when she met us in person which would flip into picture-perfect happiness as soon as she pointed the camera at herself (one ex had a story about her seeming bored and even being pointedly mean to them until she insisted they take a selfie, at which point she would not stop kissing them as long as the camera was on). like i am a human being who has certainly hurt friends and partners and then made clunky choices when it came to amends, i'm not some saintly victim because i encountered this person (and neither are any of the other people i connected with who had similar stories about her), but i'm not gonna put my hands over my eyes and pretend i don't see a bloody trail of repeated behavior with her just because none of us are perfect survivors. literally no survivor ever is

and LOL i don't mind sharing. while also bearing in mind that social media is truly not the forum for understanding any of this, like this is Her Domain for a reason. survivor testimony, no matter how articulate, just does not hold a candle to practiced DARVO tactics and the tried and true appeal of being shamelessly and flippantly cruel on the internet for fun. like i can be as honest and earnest as possible Online but if i think for a second that that'll save me i'm fucked. like i am smart enough now to know this LOL. the complexities of that relationship, what it was like being on this site between 2012-2016, how much shame and fear around transness played into it, how tied up fandom behavior was in interpersonal abuse........ like. i'm gonna make comics about it because that's where my power is. like i'm grateful i am no longer so afraid of this person that i feel like i can't Share My Truth Online but also this is not the end-all-be-all for how i express myself. it's much bigger than fuckin..... posting u know

[heartxdecay]

WHY do bad things always have to happen to me so close together like I did not NEED the combo of an acquaintance I was attempting to befriend blowing up at me and threatening to kill themselves over them deciding I said something I didn't (fuck being autistic why does everyone assume I'm inferring things when I'm actually NOT) and then my stalker who I haven't seen in about a year suddenly decides to show up at my place of work and ask MY BOYFRIEND if I was there (he lied and said I wasn't but I still caught a glimpse of him so he might have seen me) which lead to me finding out he never actually moved like he said he was going to which means realistically he could go right back to stalking and harassing me any time he wants. In the span of like 3 days. And of course right now we're like 3 weeks away from the big traumaversary time from when I left the cult + this is the midst of when I was reporting aforementioned stalker last year so I'm already constantly on high alert anyway. So now I'm constantly struggling just to stay awake let alone work and I already had to drop out of school and lie to my parents about it because the condition of me living here is remaining in school which means since I'm not they're going to kick me out if they know. So I can't NOT go to school AND not work especially because I'm trying to save as much money as possible in order to move out of this stupid hellhole of a "family" home where I'm constantly used as a third parent for my younger siblings. But I'm so tired all the time from stress keeping me awake at all hours and being completely unable to leave fight or flight mode when awake that I can barely find the energy to move, and my work is extremely tiring. I work retail as a supervisor and I have to deal with my coworkers not doing as much of the workload despite all being full time while I'm part time, none of the people I'm in charge of taking me seriously because I'm either younger than them or the same age as them, regular stress that comes with working retail and dealing with customers, and a management change that is leading to us getting a notoriously rude + perfectionist manager who I have personally seen throw an actual tantrum over having to do his JOB. Which means I can't afford to be tired and grumpy because I have to remain professional and productive. But every time something slightly off happens I want to burst into tears. Nobody there respects me and it's hard enough to handle when I'm NOT dealing with all of this. And of course because God hates me all of this happened when I decided to try to cut back on constantly vaping so after incident #2 I immediately gave up on that and I honestly think I've been going through cartridges FASTER. It's genuinely such a struggle every day to not relapse on self harm or turn to alcoholism and I'm not sure how much longer I can last. Especially because my literal only IRL support system is my boyfriend, because my parents are worth jack shit, my siblings are children, and my only "friend" in person is an objectively terrible human that I only still have around because they were my FP for a really long time and I have a hard time letting go of that relationship (every time I try I end up running back) and I just KNOW that if I even TRY to breach any of this with them they're either going to hit me with an "oof/yikes" and nothing else or spread my PERSONAL shit to everyone they know INCLUDING my extremely abusive ex that they refuse to totally cut contact with because it's "mean". which means I actually have nobody to turn to except the internet friends in my phone who for one aren't online all the time and have lives but two since they're my ONLY SUPPORT SYSTEM I cannot keep dumping everything on them constantly or I'll overwhelm them. Not to mention they have also had to deal with the acquaintance I mentioned at the start because they're actually THEIR friend, not mine, so if anything it's an even bigger deal to them. This leaves me with only my boyfriend who I already feel shitty enough about given the raging BPD.

[sparkbeast20]

Sibling Rivalry

This Part 2 of You have brothers? an Self-indulging fic.

Summary: The seven brothers was given the task to welcome Tia's brothers. Little did they expect that they aren't to keen to be send to hell or meeting the demons who took their sister.

Warning: Someone pulling out a knife and gun, Chocking, Death threats, Holy water works on demons, Mention/implied sexual content, and A lot of Swearing

"Wh-Where am I!" She trembles and stutters, as she looks around the room. and see several men looking at her "I-I was just walking to my next class... and-and..." The young lady started to tear up.

"Welcome to Devildom, Tia." Diavolo, who sat as the chief judge, spoke.

Her eyes widened when she heard the word devil. As Diavolo spoke she looked around and sensed the demonic around her. Then she thought to herself that she might jump to conclusion again. And might misheard.

When suddenly she heard Diavolo mention about demons, "Ex-Excuse me. Can you repeat what you just said..."

"Of course, I am the ruler of all demons, and all here know me. And someday soon, I will be crowned King of devildom"

"Demons! No, don't tell me I died and end up in hell! But I haven't done anything that-that-" She begins to panic, tears fall from her eyes.

As the man in a red uniform tries to come to the girl.

Lucifer sighs while pinching the bridge of his nose. As Asmo giggly beside him. "She is adorable, I can smell the innocents coming off of her." He licks his lips. "I can wait to eat her up"

"Does she have a snack on her?" Beel's stomach begins to growl.

"Will you two behave?" Lucifer glared at Asmo and Beel.

"It seems that we have ourselves a Catholic." Satan spoke as he closed his book "Do warn her about you and me, Lucifer. I don't want another mistaken identity incident"

"Yes, of course. I don't want you to end up killing another human because they think that you and I are one demon" Lucifer said sarcastically with a smirk on his face, which earned a growl from Satan.

Then Lucifer got up from his seat and began to walk over to Diavolo and the human with Diavolo managed to calm the young lady.

"When-when can I go home?" she spoke as she sniffled and wiped the tears, then she saw shadow approaching her. She looks up to see Lucifer.

"I will explain everything to you"

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

Lucifer reminisces the first day he and Tia met, how she was so scared. The way she trembles at the mention that she was technically in hell.

He would be lying, that whole encounter didn't bring enjoyment. Seeing a human scared and confused about what is going on, does bring him such joy within him.

So now Lucifer imagined how her brothers would react, as he sat in the same place but now with all of his brothers in the council room.

While Simeon, Solomon and Luke distract Tia. Diavolo wanted to surprise her by bringing her brothers here in devildom.

While he prepared the preparation in the castle, with Barbatos. Leaving Lucifer and the brothers to welcome Tia's brothers.

"You bet that their handsome? If Tia is cute and adorable, then her brothers must be handsome" Asmo purrs in exactement. "Lucifer you said that we're share bedroom while they stay here"

"What! nobody told me that I have to share my room with a normie!" Levi sat up straight, looking over to Lucifer.

"How many brothers does Tia have?" Beel asks while munching on an energy bar.

"She has four, she is the youngest with a three year gap" Lucifer answered.

"Oh~ Older brothers?" Asmo claps his hands together.

"So... Who's rooms are they staying in-" Suddenly a portal appears above and the sound of two male screaming is caught, all of them look up to see four men falling out of the portal and landing on the floor.

Both Lucifer and Satan's eyes widen when they spot one of them wearing priest garb.

While Mammon and Levi saw one of them hugging a shotgun.

At this point, they all know that this isn't going to go the same way when Tia arrives.

"Ugh... Why did I sink into the floor?" The man with black hair with blue patches mixes in groans while rubbing his head.

"Oscar, are you okay?" The man with the blue hair spoke as he got up back on his feet.

"Yeah, I was just saying goodbye to father Marc when I felt something dragging-"

"To Hell" the first man got up and dusted himself off then turned towards the blue hair man, "and also I'm fine Luis. Thanks for asking." He said it sarcastically.

"No Fucking way! Don't tell me that Diavolo just teleports us just like that!" The man with black hair with the shotgun jumped up and landed on his feet, then fixed the gun on his body with its sling on his shoulder and on his back.

Then the blue-haired man named Luis looks around and lands his sight on the seven brothers seated in their thrones. "Vin, Oscar" The two men, the one with the gun and the priest, turn their heads towards Luis, and he points with his lips at the brothers.

"SHIT!" Vin quickly drew the gun out and pointed at Satan. "Don't Fucking move if you know what's good for ya!" He cock the shotgun.

"Vin pick that damn thing away!" Lucifer and Satan are surprised to hear a priest cursing. Vin huffs and pouts then puts the gun away then looks over to the brothers his eyes narrow with a hand under his chin as Oscar sighs and turns his back to the brothers. "Sorry for my brother here. I mean his reaction is understandable. Just pointing a gun to people is a bit much-"

"Which one of you fucked me baby sister!" Vin cuts Oscar off, saying it nonchalantly, making Mammon and Levi gasp.

"VINCENT!!!!" All three of the men in the middle of the yell. With one of them.

"What!?! You're all thinking about it! And besides, if one of them is the prince of lust, a topic like this isn't-Guh!" Carlos quickly wrapped his hands around Vin's neck and proceeded to strangle him.

"Keep your filthy mouth shut!" Carlos said it through his teeth.

"G'ah! Carlos, get off!" As Vin pry Carlos off of him.

Both Luis and Oscar stare at the brothers, with the form finally spoken. "So which one of you is the demon who sent the letter?"

"You mean Lord Diavolo?" Beel asks, as he looks at Luis.

Before Luis can say anything, Asmo jumps out of his seat and immediately wraps his arms around Luis.

"Ah! you're simply gorgeous! Why hasn't Tia mentioned you- AHH!" like Lightning, Luis got out of Asmo's hug and quickly went behind him putting him on a chokehold.

"Oscar, the rosary!" The man in question pulls out of his sleeve and tosses it to Luis, he catches it and quickly wraps it around Asmo's neck tight, but not enough to choke him. Asmo yelped when he felt his neck slowly heating up.

Mammon, Levi, Satan and Beel immediately jump out of their seats and charge towards the two, only to be stopped when Vin and Carlos block their way with Vin pulling out his shotgun and Carlos with a pistol that he had on hand. The two point the gun towards the charging demons. "Nah-ah! come any closer and I'll make sure to blast you fucking heads clean off!"

"ENOUGH!" Lucifer stood and cast a spell to pull both guns towards him before making them disappear right in front of the two men.

"HEY! Asshole, cheap shot using your demonic powers!" Vin yells at Lucifer with his fist in the air, making angry gestures.

"Oi! he ain't the one how pull out a gun and threaten to shot our fucking brains out" Mammon interjects.

"Why you-"

"Vin that's enough" All of them didn't notice Oscar had made a circle of salt for them, with Asmo still being subdued by the rosary by Luis. "Luis it's okay let go of the pervert."

"Excuse ME! Who are you calling a Pervert!" Luis tosses Asmo forward through the open gap of the circle. Beel and Levi caught Asmo.

Then Oscar finishes the circle of salt, enclosing him and his brothers. Making a wall between them and the seven demons.

Luis composed himself and pulled the nearest chair to him and sat wide spread his elbows on his knees, while he rested his chin on his intertwined fingers with a stoic look on his face.

Oscar stood near the edge of the circle with his hands behind his back. Vin pulls a knife from the scabbard on his waist, then flop on his ass, lean back on one arm, while the other with the knife rests on his knee. And Carlos leans on the back of the chair that Luis is seated facing completely away from the brothers with his arms crossed.

Luis, Oscar, and Vin stare down Lucifer who joins his brothers down on the ground, Mammon, Satan, and Belphie.

Levi, Asmo and Beel, darted their eyes between the two groups, as awkward silence filled the room.

Then Luis breathed in then breathed out "Now that we got a moment to calm ourselves, I want to keep some ground rules. First, don't ever fucking "Hug" me. Got it Strawberry!" He glares at Asmo, who just hiss at him. "Second, No magic or weapons"

"Luis!"

"I said NO Weapons, now put yours away Vin" Vin grants before returning his knife to the scabbard. "Okay, now I'll be saying this once. My brothers and I will be taking Tia back home to the surface-"

"Oi who said that you're taking my human!"

"EXCUSE ME! The fuck you call me sister, Loud ASS" Vin pushes him self on the floor and march over to the edge "MY SISTER IS NOT YOUR HUMAN"

"She is my human! After all we have a pact"

"A pact you say..." Oscar walks over close to the edge and look Mammon in the eye. "May I ask who you might be?" He asks calmly with a smile on his face, with Satan staring at Oscar and knowing his smile is fake.

Mammon smirks as he puffs his chest and places a hand on it proudly.

"Is The Great Mammon! The avatar of Greed-"

"That's good enough for me" Oscar quickly reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small bottle, pop the cap and splash Mammon with some sort of water in his hand and chest.

"G'AAAAAHHH It burns!!!!!" Mammon quickly stumble back, as Oscar start laughing gleefully

"Well good because there's that where it come from!" He tosses the bottle to Vin who catches it and readying himself to splash the rest of them. While Oscar reaches out and grabs his garb opening up to reveal his bare chest with three crucifixes, a dagger, rosary and pistol strap on him. "This isn't my first time dealing with a demon. But facing one of the princes of hell? If it means to save my baby sister from damnation. I'll gladly exorcise you demons from her '' He grabs one of the crucifixes from his body, pulling it apart to reveal a hidden dagger.

"Oh boy~ This is going to be exciting. I like when you lose control like this Oscar." Vin laughs as he pulls out his knife.

"Lucifer! This is insane!" Levi turns to the eldest with a panicked look on his face.

"Ah? So you must be Satanas himself" Luis looks at Lucifer, with a stir look on his face. Satan's eyes widen then his face shifted into a rage fuel one

"DO YOU FUCKING CALL LUCIFER BY MY NAME!" Satan shifts into his demon form as he growls and ready to pounce on them; he doesn't care if he gets hurt by the salt circle. He's going to rip that human apart.

"Hm? Aren't Lucifer and Satan the same demon?"

"THAT'S IT YOUR DEAD!" Satan was about to pounce when Lucifer and Belphie stopped him.

"Satan no! You can't kill his Tia's brother" Belphie tried to talk Satan down and failed at it.

"I DON'T FUCKING CARE-" The door open. all of them look over to the door.

"What's going- It-It can't be" Tia drops her hand from the door knob and slowly walks in with Luke, Simeon and Solomon behind her with a mixture of stunned, surprise and confusion as to what they are walking into. While Tia starts to get teary eyes. She must be hallucinating, she can't be seeing her brothers here in Devildom. And yet one of them calls out to her.

"Bubwit..." Vin drops his knife before running toward Tia.

"KUYA VINNY!!!" She ran with her arms wide. Then once she got close to Vin, she leaped and he caught her in his arms and wrapped them around her hugging her tightly "This can't be happening! You're here!"

"Yeah I'm here and so as- Shit!" Vin just realized that he was outside of the circle. Before she can say anything, Vin quickly picks her up. Carry her, run back to the circle. "There we're safe here in the circle." He placed her on Luis's lap.

"Safe?" She tilted her head in confusion. She look around her surrounding and see Oscar without his garb up "Wait Oscar why do you look like that you are about to kill someone?"

"I am! I'm going to kill the demon that has a pact with you!" Oscar points the crucifix dagger at Mammon, who growls in return.

"What! No!" She jumped off Luis' lap and made a dash to Mammon, using herself to get between her brother and Mammon. "Please do kill him, he might be a pain in the butt-"

"HEY!"

"But he isn't going to take my soul." Luis raises his brow to what she said, with Carlos shocked, and Oscar dumbfounded.

"Bubwit! Its a "DEMONIC PACT" not a small subscription of the fucking WIFI! Your soul belongs to him!" Simeon quickly took Luke out of the room with Solomon observing the whole thing.

"You are mistaken, she belongs to me" Lucifer places his glove hand on her shoulder and pulls her closer to him. "She might have a pact with my brothers and I. But she agreed to be mine."

"YOU DID WHAT!"

Tia pouts, and takes Lucifer's hand off of her. "He's joking... for the most part." She steps away from Lucifer and walks over to her brothers "Kuyas, Meet the seven lords of Devildom" she gestures to the seven brothers, with most of their faces stoic, scowl, and fuming. Beel blissfully waves at her brothers. Then she turns around to face the seven demons "And guys, meet my brothers" She didn't see Vin flipping them off, with Oscar making a slicing motion with the dagger on his neck, Carlos looking at them with a judgmental look, and Luis still have a stoic expression on his face.

At that moment, Diavolo and Barbatos walk in the room. And stop to see the scene right in front of them.

"Well, we miss quiet a welcome"

Note:

Translation for some Tagalog/Filipino words

Kuya = Brother

Bubwit = Mouse

If there’s grammar or spelling error, please let me know and don’t be shy to leave a comment or rebloging with cute tags. I just love to see you guys thoughts on this :3

[satans-left-asscheeky]

Three step programs to help get your favorite fallout companion to love you / become your little bitch

Part three.

Piper

Is your Piper finding it hard to enjoy her usual shenanigans? Is your Piper experiencing the a dreaded writers block and lack of motivation? Is your Piper struggling to balance working a full time job, travel with her trusty dusty Blue popsicle and be a big sibling/full time parent to her little sister? Has your Piper been in a withdrawal of sorts after spending an ungodly amount of time in the diamond City slammer thanks to the corrupt government run by the shiny freshly packaged life meddling fuckers known as the institute? Lucky for you this three step program will help get your Piper back to her nosy reporter kick-ass bad bitch self!

Step One: Mayor Mcdonough? more like mayor Mc-done-for! It must have taken the institute a long ass time to make not one, but two faces for him! Kill the fuck outta the cowardly double crossing pretentious douche bag!

Step Two: You wanna know what would help your Piper? No more late night abductions! take the fight to the institute by any means necessary.... (besides the BOS ofc)... Why tf do they even replace people? Probing? Dissection?....... news flash institute normal people have this thing called a heart! who tf knows why the creeps prey apon the people of the commonwealth. What your Piper does know is their gonna need an ass transplant once her foot is done with em.

Step Three: Okay so this might sound totally domestic (and less violent cuz damn that sounded like a bad psycho trip...) compared to the last two steps, but something that will totally help your Piper is.... A writers nook. Filled with real printing supplies. Old world novels, or even better creating new world novels with your Piper! One of the many things that historians claim makes a "civilization" is the production of unique works of literature (or something like that don't sue me if I'm wrong I'm quoting my freshman year history teacher and a bitch snoozed in that class) ... so technically, though a soft approach, your helping pave the pathway to a better future one line at a time.

(We can not be held responsible for any offensive news articles your Piper may write once she has her mojo back. If your Piper is experiencing an increased number of threats please contact your local Cait to open up a can of whoop ass)

Nick

Does your Nick have a case of depresso espresso that he just can't seem to solve? Is your Nick a melancholy mix of man and machine still trying to find his way in life after approximately 80 years of mixed experience? Is your Nick obsessing over fixing other people's problems to avoid his own? Is your Nick screwing his dang hand at the most inopportune times? (Like dude when a we're playing chicken with a super mutan suicider is not the time to screw your damn hand! Fucking Lydia had more tact than your ass) Luckily for you we have just the evidence you need to close the case on your weeping widow tin man!

Step one: Go on the annoyingly long hunt for all of Eddie Winters encrypted holotapes. Once every nook and cranny of every police station in massachusetts has been searched go kill the fuck out of that murdering bastard! You know what they say.... "If you can't fill the hole in your aching neon heart blow a hole in someone else's!"

Step two: Sarcasm galore! The more sassy the better! How can you be a saddy if your sassy? No but seriously witty remarks are your Nick's love language.

Step three: Generosity. Though it may be true the wastland will never be able to go back to the utopia it once was, but you and your Nick will be damned if you don't die trying to make the world a better place. If one small act of kindness is all your Nick is rembered for then he did well in life. Even if that means that act of kindness was giving Sheffield a damn nuka-cola.

(Okay so I'm not sure how I'm gonna be able to live with myself knowing that I'm the reason that this exist... Please forgive me for I shall never forgive myself.... okay but seriously why does the after look like my ex....) Ps I never noticed he had a cute chin dimple/dent before... I love it so much! He's so adorable.

Preston

Is your Preston still haunted by the series of unfortunate events that followed him from quincy to concord? Is your Preston suffering from survivers guilt and rain? Well have we got just the thing for you!

Step one: Find some way to control the weather! How can your Preston ever be sad if it's never raining?

Step two: Take your Preston on villager saving sprees! Rebuild the entire commonwealth.... it would be rude and inconsiderate of your Preston to even think about being happy when all those settlements still need your help.... what better way to remind your Preston of the good little sunshine boi he is than taking care of that settlement over there..... lemme mark it on your map for you!

Step three: Put a stop to all the meanies of the commonwealth.... Raiders demanding resources from settlers? gotta die. Super mutans eating settlers? gotta go. How can your Preston truly be happy if even a single living breathing soul in the commonwealth isn't? Your Preston has a big fat bleeding heart on his sleeve.... but hey the second you showed him any kind of human decency he clung onto you like a piece of raider stuck in a deathclaws teeth.

(We can not be held responsible for all the settlements that will be marked on your map.... But hey at least it's not raining.... babe!)

Hey so not gonna lie I could keep this in the draft and edit it for the rest of eternity, but at this point I think it's time to stop obsessing and post lol. Hope you enjoy or at least tolerate it like me!

Part 1

Part 2

[mysterylover123]

Buffy Rewatch Season 3 Episdoe 15 "Consequences" Fuffy Angst to the MAX

-Horrifying opening with Buffy's 'Faith's drowning me' nightmare'. Poor girl.

Wesley and Cordy meet for the first time! OMG! Angel feels! So weird that they were into each other at first. Don't blame them though, they're both so pretty.

-"But you can pretend Angel's good when you have to protect him" Faith is jealous of Buffy's ex. And Buffy wants to help her so bad. Poor Buffy.

-POOR SCORNED WILLOW. Willow-Buffy-Faith triangle vibes are so powerful here.

-Faith shows her humanity is still there. Buffy tries to understand and Faith gets defensive again. Oh boy. The tension.

-"that's not your real face and i know it. I know what you're feeling because I'm feeling it too". WOWSA.

-This debate is so fascinating. Such a discussion of morality. It's interesting. And speaks to Buffy and Faith's different senses of morality at this point in the story.

-Faith is Buffy's shadow self. Buffy tried to kill Ted last season, literally did. Faith does the same here. Losing control of her slayer power.

- 'Since when wouldn't I understand' The parallels between this this and Season 4's Wilara conversation. And the Willow/Buffy feels are strong.

-The 'Faith lied to Giles' scene HURTS. OMG Faith how could you. Thankfully Giles knows Buffy too well. The situation of how to help Faith too just hurts.

-Ooh Wes you're about to screw up. I watched Orpheus recently. OMG WEs. You complicated tragic anti hero. Mistakes were made.

-Poor Xander thinks he has a connection with Faith. LOL Buffy's "yeah she don't really swing that way'.

-The Xander and Faith scene is pretty horrifying. Faith needs to learn when no means no. But Angel and Faith starting their epic platonic reformed anti-heroes connection is timeless.

-I forgot that Buffy asked Angel to talk to her! OMG Buffy you are so nice. She even tries to get Faith some stuff. THIS IS THE HARDEST BUFFY HAS EVER TRIED TO SAVE SOMEONE'S SOUL. Even Angel Buffy gave up on quicker.

-"We're a lot alike, Faith. WE've both killed, we're both cynical, we both love Buffy and long black cloaks. Let's bond instead of fighting over her'.

-whoops Wesley dammit he was so close. Man this scene hits different after rewatching Orpheus.

-God Buffy is clinging onto the chance that FAith could be saved for so long. So desperate to save her.

-Wes and Angel's first 'We didn't save someone right' fight. It last two seconds. And man I feel bad for Wes this season cause i know him from later years. He did screw up but damn.

- OMG this final conversation. Faith omg you're losing it. And whoa there's my girl. That line gets one hell of a callback later on.

- Faith still goes to help Buffy when the create falls on her. Buffy pushes her out of the way. Faith still saves her. Even now theyve got each other's backs.

-Sweet Buffy and Giles scene where Buffy is still "Faith can be saved!". But Faith betrays her to the mayor nooo Faith.

[shelby-love]

KELLY SEVERIDE

Poor Defense

Requested: yes

Prompts: none

Warnings: none

Authors note: Happy ending obviously! xx

"Babe are you sure that you're alright?" You ask him for the fifth time. You're standing outside his car, watching him join you outside like a hwak.

Your boyfriend Kelly just doesn't seem to be okay. You watch him grab your duffle bag along with his. Usually that's not a problem for him but you see him strain his shoulder. His face says it all.

"No, I got it. You don't have to." You reach for your duffle bag.

"What do you mean? It's not a problem babe seriously. Let me." You sigh in defeat and grab his free hand. You part ways in the locker room and you join Shay in the ambo.

"Did you notice anything weird about Kelly?" You ask her. You're sitting at the floor of the ambulance and spying on him with the jump bag next to you. Making it easy for you to switch your eyes to it and act like you're not spying on him but rather doing your job.

He's at the squad table, bickering with Capp like nothing in the world is wrong or at least slightly twisted.

"What do you mean?" She tries to play it smooth. Of course she knows. The guilt has been eating her alive.

"Hm. That's weird." You suddenly say. The subject that is your boyfriend drops and you focus on the jump bag next to you.

"What's weird?"

"We're missing some painkillers. But I'm sure I ordered them." You sigh. Explaining that to main tower is going to be a pain in the ass. "Never mind. We'll figure it out."

"Okay I can't do it anymore." She sighs in defeat before throwing the last of the towels inside and sitting down next to you.

"Can't do what Shay?" You ask your partner. Shay is stressed and scared. But for what?

"He's not okay Y/N."

"Who's not okay?"

"Kelly!" She exclaims. "He went to check his injury and the doctor told him that they will need to operate and he won't be able to work for a year. Ever since then I've been helping him."

"You took the meds?!" You're shocked beyond words at this point. Not only was your boyfriend hiding a serious injury from you, he was also using his best friend and putting her in danger of losing her job. Hell even you were at risk now! "Les this can cost us our jobs!"

"I know! It's just... He's so stubborn and I was afraid that he was going to take the matter into his own hands."

Damn his stubbornness! "I will take his stubbornness and shove it so far up his-"

"Hey girlies." Brian Zvonecek interrupts you innocently. "Do you have any towels to spear?"

***

"When were you going to tell me?" You just barged into your boyfriend's private room and now you demand answers.

"Tell you what babe?"

"That your shoulder is getting worse and that you made Shay steal meds from the ambo just so you can work and risk your life." You tell him that in one single breath, with ears red as a tomato. You're angry and disappointed in him.

His face said it all. Busted.

"Look baby..." He stood up with caution. "This was just a one time thing. I'm fine now. I really am."

"No Kelly I don't think you are."

***

You have free time and you decide to use it to make up with Kelly. After what happened at the firehouse you didn't exactly find it in you to talk to him without bringing up the injury and starting a fight.

You wrecked your brain for possible explanations and after putting yourself in Kelly's shoes you decided to forgive him. He explained himself enough for you to build up the trust once more.

"Babe?" You walk around your shared apartment in hopes of finding him somewhere convenient enough to talk things out.

"In the shower!"

His reply is loud and clear. His off limits to talk now.

When you walk into the spacious bedroom it's almost like the air is completely different. Something seems off. You notice his jacket that lies on the bed, probably because he's headed somewhere.

While the shower runs in the background you take his jacket into his eyes and instinctively search through its pockets. You were never the type to rummage through his belongings but you felt like it needed to be done.

What you found shocked you. Pills.

Much stronger and illegal medication. 5 times the strength from the ones Shay took from the ambulance. You had one question in mind: Where did he get this?

Feeling your blood boil at the newfound sight you reach for his phone without a second thought. Someone must've gotten this for him and you were going to find out who.

Calls were a dead end and you quickly turned to look through his messages. The newest contact being someone named Anna.

It's obvious the moment you scroll through their conversation. A conversation way to long for your liking that started just a day after you confronted him about it.

You feel betrayed. He promised he would do the surgery.

You throw his phone back on his nightstand and fish through your pockets for your own. The moment you have it you swipe through your contacts and press call. "Yes?"

"Les who is Anna?" You ask her. The human encyclopedia for Kelly's past flings and girlfriends.

"Why do you ask?"

"Because..." You make sure to quickly hide in the kitchen so he doesn't hear you. "I just found out that he's still using pills. Illegal and stronger meds. And I know it's not you because you and I both don't have access to this kind of stuff."

"Uh..."

"I went through his phone and before you tell me how I shouldn't have done that... I had every right to protect him from risking his life because he's so freaking stubborn!" You huff into the phone. You clutch the meds in your hand until they're almost grinded into powder. "The name's Anna."

"Oh Jesus..." You hear her sigh. "An old flame and pharmaceutical rep. They never slept together but he did kiss her."

You start to see red. "I figured as much."

After taking a deep breath you bid Shay your goodbyes and start to pack your bags.

"Y/N-"

"Save it." You place the last of your shirts into the duffle bag. Ready to fly out of the apartment.

"Why?"

"Why?! Are you serious right now?" You ask him angrily. "You know what Kelly? I should've reported you for taking unprescribed medicine the moment I found out! No actually I should've reported you for making Shay steal them for you.

I can't believe I thought you were going to do the surgery. I stayed quiet knowing that your little stunt could cost me my job-"

"But you didn't do anything."

"Exactly! I didn't do anything to stop it. In the eyes of the whole CFD I am a careless paramedic in charge that doesn't take inventory seriously and instead allows firefighters to take whichever meds they prefer to themselves. Add my romantic relationship with the firefighter in question to the mix and my career is gone! Poof."

After a few deep breaths you zip your duffle bag. "I am not mad that you went to your ex fling for help. I am mad that you lied to me. You made me think everything was alright and when I found out you promised me that you would do the surgery. Not for me but for yourself and us. Yet again. You lied."

Knowing that staying in the same room with him for a second longer would make you stay, you decide to stalk out of the room and the whole apartment, leaving your own keys in the kitchen so you don't get tempted to come back.

***

"Shay let me in c'mon." Kelly banged on the door of Shay's apartment knowing that you were inside. "I need to talk to her."

The man you call the love of your life wasn't going to give up and both of you knew it. Frantically, with both hands in the air and if possible both legs too, Shay mouthed "What do I do?"

You nod towards the door, "Open the door."

She mouths back. "Are you sure?"

"Hey! Stop mouthing to each other and open the damn door!"

"Damn you Kelly!" Leslie shouts at him before opening the door and dissappearing into her room with a loud slam of the door.

It's been two weeks since you "moved out". You didn't give him the time of your day at work but the time you spent apart was eating you alive. Killing you actually.

His handsome self barges into the living room and spots you on the couch. Curled in a ball with tea in your hands and a blanket over you. The silent battle of eyes stops when he takes three long strides towards you and pulls you in for a kiss. A kiss that feels like homecoming.

You pull away flushed to the bone and encourage him to take a seat next to you. You place the blanket over his lap like you always do. Some things die hard.

"I'll do it."

"Do what?"

"The surgery Y/N. I'll do it."

Your mouth falls open in an 'O'. "So you're not here to ask me to move back in?Cause I'm still paying rent for that place."

He chuckles in a way that makes you weak in the knees. "You didn't let me get to that part."

"What made you get a change of heart?" You place your steaming hot tea on the glass coffee table and make yourself comfortable on the couch, your eyes never leaving his.

"You." He said simply. It made you blush against your will. "And the pain. It's horrible."

A bubble of laughter escapes your lips. "I love it when I make you laugh."

His statement caught you off guard making you blush even more. "I'm supposed to have a better defense."

"No you don't." With that he placed his index finger under your chin and lulled you into him. He spoke a soft apology in the kiss and you accepted it by kissing him back.

"Let's go home." Kelly whispered. Sorry shining in his eyes.

"Okay."

This time it was you leaned in for a kiss.

MASTERLIST

[passp0rtguardian]

BENREY AMGST PART 2 BLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU

((*SOBS* I'M SORRY THIS IS SO LATE BUT I FINALLY DELIVER))

--

Benrey had a lot of things to think about on the walk over to Tommy's house. Most of those thoughts were about Gordon. And guilt. There was a lot of guilt there too.

Their first thought after their initial outburst and storming out was that maybe Gordon didn't do it on purpose. Well, obviously he didn't do it on purpose. That's what made Benrey so angry in the first place.

Gordon was as dumb as a box of rocks- their whole thing was a game, so obviously he thought that they didn't have actual personalities. But how come he still got close to everyone else? Tommy, Coomer, Bubby? Just not them?

Benrey looks around to make sure nobody's watching before blowing out some sweet voice- low toned blue, grey, black, and a soft pink that didn't mix but joined the crescendo of lower and lower tones.

Eventually they did get to Tommy's place, although it was longer when you were walking. Tommy had a nice house with a little flowerbed out in the front. It was painted a calming shade of yellow, and there were cute little decorations on the porch that Benrey took care to avoid as they stepped up and knocked.

Tommy answered the door after a few seconds, because Tommy always answered the door no matter what time you knocked. He had bedhead as if he woke up out of a deep sleep to answer the door, but he still looked bright and awake.

"Buh-Benrey? What are you- what are you doing here?" Tommy asked, already stepping to the side to let Benrey in. They stepped in, flopping down on pup's couch like this was their second home. Sunkist woke up from her nap to bark out a couple sweet voice orbs in a greeting.

"got problems tommy," Benrey answered in their usual monotone, splaying themselves out over the couch dramatically. "has feetman always been stupid?"

"Well- I- I wouldn't call him stupid, that's- that's mean!" Tommy said, carefully sitting down near Benrey's head and beckoning them over. Benrey gladly set their head in his lap, and he immediately took to stroking their hair. "Just- just a little, um, slow on the uptake. Wh-Why do you ask?"

"he- he got all gordon meanman on me, all fuckin- 'blah blah benrey what are you why are you like this mneh mneh' you know?" Benrey grumbled a little; it was a tone only someone like Tommy could pick up.

"That's- that's rather rude!" Tommy gasped a little, although it quickly turned into a huff. "I'm sure he- he wouldn't like it if we asked- if we asked if he was human!"

"i know! totally- totally not cool bro! very sucks!" Benrey groaned, covering their face a little. "doesn't even try to getta know me, gordon meanman, gordon- dumbdon stupidman-"

"But Benrey," Tommy started, making Benrey pause and look up at pup. "Have you ever let him get to know you?"

"... well- no-" Benrey finally muttered after a few seconds of silence.

"That's- that's where the problem is. If you, if you want my rational viewpoint on it. He doesn't- he doesn't make an effort to get to know you, but you don't t- you don't let him get to know you either." Tommy stated, running his fingers through Benrey's hair.

"hh- bbbbbb- why do you gotta be so smart?" Benrey whined, making Tommy laugh a little.

"Cause- cause I'm a scientist, silly!" Tommy laughed a bit, but his expression quickly shifted into a more serious one. "Buh, but, if you don't want- want to go back yet, you can, you can stay here for the night. I have ex- lots of blankets!"

"bbbbbb.... yeah i wanna stay. don't wanna go back to meanman yet." Benrey finally decided. "wanna uhhh,,, watch all dogs go to heaven 2?"

"Benrey, at- at this point we're gonna forget the, the plot of the first one!"

--

((i know i left it off on another cliffhanger don't kill me aaaaaaa-

the sweet voice benrey spewed out in order, all in low tones, goes as follows: sadness, self soothing, guilt, and longing))

[c-atm]

She asked him to take her to it, her headstone. The one they made for her when she (Or rather 'Connie Maheswaran') supposedly died. She didn't exactly know why she wanted to see it; maybe it would jog some memories of who she was before becoming ' Sara's grand jewel' ...Before becoming 'Sheva.' Even the thought of those times enrages her to no end; how Connie was used as a tool of murder, espionage, seduction, and entrapment.

"Connie, you ok?"

Steven's voice, sweet, protective, and lovingly caring, as was his grip on her shoulder. The way her name ( Connie's name) came out of his voice sent waves of affection throughout her nervous system. Even after a month of traveling together, she still wasn't used to the new [old] moniker, nor did she feel she deserved it, but she wasn't going to stop Steven from calling her that.

"Connie?"

"Y-Yeah!" It came out brokenly harsh, more than initially intended.

"Sorry, Connie."

The guilt in his voice, slight as it was, hurt her heart immensely.

"No-nonono! You're ok! I promise, and I'm stupid, pleasekeepholdingmyshoulders !"

She covered her mouth and turned around before she became more of a babbling mess, something that has been becoming more common.

Ever since that dream...Hell, ever since they reunited (met), told her his name, and ripped that collar off of her; that spark of need, of craving...Of humanity seem to grow brighter gradually with every smile, touch, or kind deed her hero sent her way and how scared it made her to lose him. The adoration he sent her way, how it warmed her heart to the point of feeling burned.

How she would excuse herself before breaking into full-on bawling on more than one occasion. Steven was wasting it on her; she couldn't even understand natural human affection anymore.

She was so broken.

Connie breathed out before turning to him. "I'm...sorry that was weird of me...I'm strange...And umm... Nervous."

"I would believe so," He gave her a ginger smirk, holding his hand out to her," We're about to visit your memorial. "

"Connie's memorial." She snided before she could stop herself. "Ah..I-"

"One and the same." Steven interrupted, kissing her hand softly before massaging it with his thumb as he interlaced his hands with hers, giving her a small but loving smile. "Come on. You don't want anyone to find us, right?" He whispered, wiping her cheek of a runaway tear.

She could only nod and offer him a silent smile. He was right; she didn't want any of the residents of his (and hers as well, she figured) hometown to know they were here(her nervousness, caused by him).

It was twilight when they traveled to the cliff overlooking Beach City and Little Homeworld (spending most of their day at an abandoned lighthouse), remaining unnoticed by the populace (their attention on something called ' Beach-a-palooza'). What greeted them was not a simple headstone.

In her sights was a statue of who she was...Of ' Connie Maheswaran.' Made of marble, Ice and layered by some illuminated solid of cobalt stood a picture-perfect image of herself(?)Brandishing a naked blade on her shoulder with a star hilt, silky hair flowing down to her upper-back with some resting on her shoulders and an attractive bang, dressed in a crop letterman jacket with a star on the breast over a sporty halter top, low-rise Bermuda shorts, a pair of thigh-high stockings some loosely laced boots but obviously secured.

'Well...At least, they didn't take my fashion sense.' She mused, taking a look at her current outfit, a mimic of the statues (ironic or inherited, she didn't know). Looking back up, she focused on the differences.

'Connie's' hair was loose, free, and weightless, while hers was in a tightly braided and heavy reaching her waist.

'Connie's eyes were determined, fiery, full of life and light. In contrast, her eyes were duller, colder, and steeled by guilt (though being with Steven has brightened them up a bit.)

The most contrasting thing would have to be the smile.

Looking at her past self, at 'Connie's' bright and confident grin that displayed her teeth and radiated

Looking at her past self, at 'Connie's' bright and confident grin that displayed her teeth and radiated victory and promise, made her feel small. Seeing that kind of smile on that face, on their face, was so foreign and daunting to her. Someone who hasn't truly smiled or laughed until a month ago, which was due to killing her tormentor (who she still has sob evoking nightmares about). Even still, her smiles were weakly small, few, and full of painful appreciation.

Connie's' laughing, even more so.

"She's beautiful," Connie spoke in reverence to the memorial as she walked into the small garden on Bluebells, Hibiscus, and Orchids with various pictures of her past life that surrounded the statue. Photos of trips with human and gem friends, graduations, various other accomplishments...Moments of bliss with Steven(some with a pink lion).

"She had her whole future ahead of her."

"You can still have a bright future." Steven's voice from behind her.

"Heh." She scoffed, "You're sweet." She turned her eyes to the description under the statue.

- Connie Maheswaran

Student, Friend, Daughter, Sister,

Cherished Crystal Gem & Adored Jambud.

Our valorous knight, who outshines diamonds and stars alike.-

"It's hard to believe that I was her."

" Are ...You are her."

Connie shook her head, "we aren't the same."

"Connie?"

"I don't have that smile."

"You do."

"I'm not that strong."

"You are."

"I can't be as warm as her."

"You can."

"NO, I CAN'T !" Connie yelled, holding herself tightly, "I'm tainted, Steven...Broken. '' she rolled up the back of her top, exposing the numerous shards integrated into her brown back.

"A pile of shards upon flesh from years of experimentation and 'education ,' made into a masterpiece of murder, of violence, of spying, of abduction, of sex." She spat in disgust, nostrils flaring in anger. " How dare you?"

"Connie?" Steven took a step towards the angered ex-weapon.

"How dare you say that about her?" She hiked her breath as a sob came out." How dare you insult her by saying we're the same!? "

"Connie!" Steven turned her to face him. " Rather you want to admit it or not; it doesn't change the fact... You are her!" He said sternly.

"No..." she shook her head. "I can't believe that I can't."

"Connie?"

"She wouldn't do the things I've done."

"You can't blame yourself...You..." He tightened his hold on her shoulders, "they violated you, abused you...You are a victim in this."

"Exactly..."

Steven looked as she stepped out of his hold and pointed to the statue. Her fist clenched and face down. "She's not a victim..."

"Connie..."

"She would never have been a victim. Captured and made into a weapon...a tool." She started to laugh, a shallow sob still in her throat. "This is stupid...I came looking for ways to jog my memory and now, that face to face with it. I wanna reject it."

Steven kept silent as he pulled her in his torso, his arms around Connie's back and nape, keeping her close as she soaked his shirt.

"I'm jealous..."

Steven gazed at the top of her head as she gripped his shirt.

"I'm jealous..." Connie admitted through closed eyes, gritting teeth, trembling lips, and running tears. "I'm jealous at how determined I was. How accomplished I was. How large and bright my smile was..." she looked up at him. " How easy it was to reciprocate your love." It took all her will not to run when he wiped her eyes of tears." She did it so easy, right?"

"You..." He corrected, "You did..."

"Of course.. bet she didn't run from your affection. Lock herself away to cry...Cause she didn't know how to deal with honest adoration...It wasted on me, Steven." She gave him a broken smile, "even now I wanna run away, cause I can't fathom your warmth...I don't deserve you...but I'm afraid that I'll lose you."

"Silly Strawberry." Steven breathed, cupping her cheeks and resting his forehead on hers. "I searched for too long for you and gone through too much to just leave...My heart is yours, Connie."

Connie's fist started trembling as her face glowed in maroon, her heart pounding, and her black eyes seemed to dilate. Before looking down,00, "P-Please...Don't let me go...I really wanna go and hide right now...S-See hehehe...Weak. I'm so weak."

"You're far from weak. A weak person wouldn't take her life back from those who took it."

"Only because you provided a chance with the breaking of the shock collar and of Sara's jaw."

"Still took the chance." He argued. "Don't diminish your courage."

She didn't answer him at first. "I killed her...I threatened you with the same fate right after. How can you not be mad at me? How can you accept me? How can you love me?"

"You're Connie Maheswaran." He answered truthfully, "Not just in the physical way, the night I saved you. The defiant look on your face as I approached." Steven grinned gently, "That more than proves you and her are one and same. It's not hard to love you when I never stopped."

Connie remained silent at his words, but she was decidedly more heated than before as she leaned into his facial hold, holding his hands in her own. "Can you...Can you promise not to leave me alone?

She didn't expect him to answer her question the way he did.

Steven lips caressing hers in a gentle, tender, heartwarmingly familiar lip lock. The feeling

Of his suckling upon her top lip, mixed with the massage of his tongue onto and across her own, made her shiver and evoked moans of need towards him as she gripped his shirt, pulling him closer.

After a few moments, they broke their kiss, breathing a shared breath deeply as he placed his forehead on hers.

"You can't leave me." She pleaded, nuzzling against the bridge of his nose with her own.

Steven answered by pecking her once more, getting a trembling -squeak!- in return.

"I promise that I..."

-Koff!-

Connie could only watch in horror as Steven blood met her face from a wet cough.

Shocked tears ran from his brown eyes down as he took a step back before coughing up more blood. His back in a wet pain. His sight going hazy, watching her look at him with tears streaming down.

"I won't leave......"

Was the last thing he said before the light left his eyes. His last image was something pink joining her side.

[the-pallid-king]

“If I took its place, I’d probably start using the word grope again.” He snorts though, and then laughs. “I do want that.” No point denying it. He always wants you touching him. He didn’t dislike it just because he used a word that seems to personally offend you.

He twitches, but he can’t even be offended. You’re absolutely right. “Habit?” You’re in the habit of watching him and he’s in the habit of not caring much about physical things. He likes his body and he wants it, but living isn’t particularly enjoyable at the moment. He’s never felt so much stretch between his spiritual life and his physical self. And he’s not sure what will happen if the distance between them keeps growing. His friends and his family always kept him grounded, but he feels… cut off from that part of himself. And that’s probably his own fault. He nods, not paying much attention to those answers anymore. He misses Ishida and Chad and Inoue. Texting isn’t really the same as being involved in their lives and having them involved in his. But they would worry, and he doesn’t want that either.

He’s so involved in his own thoughts, the unexpected force of your reiatsu startles him. Though he relaxes immediately, almost involuntarily. It’s hard to associate the feeling with anything other than safety. Safety and a sense of belonging. The feeling of your reiatsu when you pulled him out of his cell— or tomb. Whatever it was. It’s nice.

He looks over at you. “That’s true. Do you have that many hollows you trust?” And by trust, he means that you trust not to eat humans. “You know they’ll probably think we’re building an army.” Aizen had ten Espada and their fraccion. They wouldn’t need to gather many hollows for Seireitei to take notice.

His next step slides something soft across the sand and sends it rolling down the next small dune, and he blinks and looks down to find his hollow. Or the hollow he’s kind of claimed anyway. He shifts the things he’s carrying to one arm and reaches down to scoop the little fluff ball up. “Hey. I’d say it’s been a while, but…” It hasn’t. “This is my food this time. So no touching.”

He huffs out an offended breath, but he's trying not to rise to your bait. "At that point, it probably would be groping so that's fine. Call it whatever you want."

Arching a brow, he gives you a dry look. "Well get into the habit of takin' care of yourself. You're supposed to be better at this living stuff than me. How am I supposed to figure out what things I like and how much of it I can eat if you never feed yourself?" The rest is kind of an aside. He can live with fewer baths and whatever. You seem distracted, but he supposes there's plenty to think about lately.

His attention corners when you start, one corner of his lips quirking into a slight smirk. He finds it surprisingly attractive when you react to him like that. He's really going to have to play around with that more.

He kind of shrugs, but then nods. "Yeah. A few. Some that I trust without supervision, some that I trust to behave when me or one of those others is lurkin' around. Grimmjow and Ganten would be enough to keep 'em in line while we're here." It's honestly a little surprising to him how seriously Grimmjow seems to be taking things in the living world, given that he always pretty much let all the ex-espada come and go as they pleased and didn't really try to keep them under wing, Grimmjow included, because they were your friends. His attention cuts to you again, his expression a bit sharp. "They should'a thought about that when they banished me here. Did they think I was gonna sit around idly and do nothin'? " He's getting more irritated with each word, "Get lost playin' in the sand? If they were worried about an army, they shouldn't'a given me reason to hate them so much and the means to make one. They shouldn't'a moved against you when you pulled me outta here. It's not an army, but I got a bunch of hollows that would kill for the chance to be let loose in Seireitei." He doubts they'd accomplish much, because he doesn't have the rigid structure of a commander and an army, but they'd cause a hell of a lot of mayhem and be a pain in the ass. Some days, that'd be more than enough.

He almost doesn't even notice you kicking that ball of fluff, but for the shift in your attention and position when you see it, then bend to scoop it up. He blinks over and down at it, watching you lift it. He can't figure out why you like it so much, especially after you confessed that it attacked you.