#+ a bit differently and feels like it is going *too fast.* immortal who is unsure of what to do with the grief and loss they constantly +

[idyllic-affections]

Hi there! So i wanna say, I LOVE YOUR MAMA XIANYUN POST THAT YOU RECENTLY POSTED!!!! I had wanted to say something about it after i sent that HSR request but i got busy for a bit so yeah.. Although i have questions, what’s a colt..? I tried looking it up on the internet and i dont think the results i got were right. Also can we expect any bonding scenes with Shenhe and Ganyu? When i was reading that post, i originally imagined Shenhe teaching the reader how to fight with a polearm but now, i imagine Ganyu would teach the reader how to use a bow (bc i cant help but imagine the reader and Yaoyao fighthing side by side, with the reader shooting down any monsters coming their way and Yaoyao striking down those who were already near them. Ganyu and Shenhe, Xianyun and Madame Ping, a long range fighter and a close range fighter fighthing side by side. Can you see what im trying to say here..?) although i have to ask, what kind of weapon do you think the reader would use in your opinion?

(Also im glad you like my HSR request ^_^)

- 🐱 Anon

hehe i'm glad, beloved <33

a colt is the term used to refer to baby cranes! apparently little cranes called colts because of their long legs. of course, it is also one term used for young horses, and horses are super fast. i made it a point for xianyun to make note of [name]'s youthful swiftness, so... for those two reasons, she calls them little colt <3 and yes! you can absolutely expect those interactions at some point within the series. i'm not sure when, but it will happen.

OHHHH IT WOULD BE SO CUTE FOR [NAME] TO USE A BOW AND BE THE LONG RANGE FIGHTER IN THEIR FRIENDSHIP WITH YAOYAO there will be a lot of bonding scenes with shenhe, but i haven't thought of as many for ganyu yet, so i think her teaching them to use a bow would be the cutest! and i feel as if it's somewhat fitting for them to use a bow.

now that's got me thinking about what their vision would be (and how they would get it).... both their big sisters are cryo, but that doesn't match them imo. anemo would be cute to imagine because then they would match their mama 🫶 but idk! if you have any thoughts on that, i'm open to hearing them c:

[starsofmilos]

Holding Back (Adrian Chase x reader)

Synopsis: You're an immortal. Adrian is not. You fall in love with a version of him each and every time. Only to outlive him.

So I had this idea while listening to the song 'I Know You,' by Faye Webster. I recommend.

Masterlist

Warnings: mentions of sex, angst, fluff, cursing, mentions of violence, guns, blood, murder

"You're holding me and holding back I don't really care for that Just you"

Adrian didn't wanna go out tonight. He said he wouldn't, but the team wanted him to go.

So here he was sat here at the bar ordering a beer as he waited for Chris to show up. He didn't notice you.

The pretty girl who had been working the bar. The girl who couldn't help but look at him as if you saw a ghost. The girl who's hand shook as you handed him a beer.

"This isn't what I ordered miss-" Adrian froze as he looked up seeing you. Actually seeing you. He adjusted his glasses.

"Hi.." He breathed out. A warm feeling spread throughout him. He grinned at you.

It was like something struck his chest. He couldn't describe it but you were..

You were so beautiful..

"So this isn't your drink? I'm sorry call it an old habit I guess. I'll get you what you ordered sorry-"

"No no! I want this beer. I'll take it your fine." Adrian grinned at you. You gave him a nervous smile. He took it sipping it.

"Holy shit this is amazing." You fidgeted with your hands.

"Yeah I figured you would like that one." He couldn't stop staring at you. "Well I'll be getting back to work now."

"What's your name?" Adrian asked you.

"What?"

"Your name? I'm so sorry I must be acting like such a weirdo. I'm Adrian and I plan on ordering this beer again so incase I forget the name of it..Can I have your name?"

"Oh..I'm Y/N.." You gave him a smile.

"Y/N..that's such a pretty name.." You grew flustered as he couldn't help but stare at you.

"Thank you..Adrian.." You walked away giving him another glance. He looked just the same as always.

Adrian jumped feeling a hand on his shoulder. "Dude why are you staring at the bartender?" Chris had arrived.

"Oh I just ordered a drink."

"That's not your usual though." Chris gave him a confused look.

"I wanted to try something new okay!" Adrian snapped out. He shook his head.

Chris laughed a bit. "Alright dude my bad. You mind calling her back? I wanna order a drink now."

"Uh sure sure sure." Adrian looked at you giving you a grin again. You smiled waving at him. He waved you over.

"There's a pause between every minute Feelin' like I need something It's just you"

You giggled as Adrian kissed your neck. "Man am I so happy you came home with me."

"Well you're cute and you got me pizza so I couldn't pass up an opportunity to be with you." Adrian laughed kissing you.

"Now look I latched on and didn't let go and I will never let you go." You giggled kissing his lips. "I don't know how to explain it. I just felt attached to you. Like it happened so fast.”

Your smile faltered a bit at his words. Adrian lifted his head feeling you tense. “What’s wrong?” He asked caressing your cheek.

“Nothing..just happy to be here with you.” You relaxed again. He kissed your lips.

“I’m happy to be here with you too. Now wanna cuddle and watch movies?” He asked running his hand down your stomach. You giggled feeling ticklish.

“Yeah I’d love that a lot.” He smiled at your words kissing you again. He really couldn’t explain it. He just felt it in his heart.

“I know I know

I know I know

you..

You…”

“Adrian I don’t-“

“ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!!” Adrian shouted cutting you off. His hands urgently reaching for his mask.

You stood in shock feeling the blood soak through your shoes. Your socks now drenched.

In all the lives you’ve lived, you have seen your fair share of dead people. You’ve seen Adrian die in almost every life time you’ve been with him, but this was different.

You had never seen him standing over the dead people.

“Honey please please it’s not what it looks like.” He panted ripping his Vigilante mask off. “I swear please baby.” He reached for you desperate.

Your eyes snapped to his. Shock was coursing through you but the one thing that also flowed through you was love.

Adrian was and will always be the love of your life. No matter what.

Your hand lifted grasping his ignoring the blood on them. “It’s okay.” Adrian looked in shock by your words. You leaned in your lips meeting his gently. “I know you. It’s okay.” You reassured.

He grasped at you yanking your body to his. Neither of you caring of the blood all over or the dead body in the room. At least you knew in this lifetime Adrian could protect himself.

“I'll quiet down if it's what you want

I understand I'm not the only one

For you”

“So peacemaker and me totally fucking nerfed this guy and then he spit out a fucking Butterfly from his mouth! So I freak out and I shoot him-“

“Adrian you’re literally missing your pinky toe.” You lectured him as you tended to his wounds. “This is not funny to me. He let you get tortured.”

“Well yeah but he also couldn’t give up information so I understand-“

“Yeah well I don’t. You call him your best friend but he could even fucking stop a guy from torturing you.”

“Y/N…” Adrian sighed out. “It’s not a big deal-“

“Yes it is.” You cut him off. “I’m sorry honey but this is big deal to me. You’re hurting. And if this me sitting here instead you’d have a lot more to say.”

“Yeah but this isn’t you! God why do I even bother speaking you have some type of lecture waiting for me.” Adrian snapped out.

“You did not just say that to me.” You snapped out standing up. Adrian sighed looking away.

“Okay…make sure to keep your wounds clean.” Adrian’s eyes widened seeing you grab your bag.

“Baby where are you going-“

“Away from you since all I seem to do is fucking annoy you.” You yelled back as tears welled in your eyes.

“I didn’t say that!” Adrian argued. “You’re putting words in my mouth.”

“Every time I find you I get so happy but then forget how much of an ass you are.” You sniffled as you cried.

“Babe what do you mean?” He asked confused by your wording. You ignored him storming out.

“So tell me what you're looking for

Is it a picture-perfect girl

For you?”

You laid in bed replaying the argument with Adrian in your head. You loved him more than anything in your life.

Could this be the end? No it couldn’t possibly be? You’ve had worser disagreements in the past. Well your past lives that is.

It was exhausting losing Adrian.

A knock on your window interrupted your thoughts. Peeking through you sighed seeing Adrian as Vigilante.

“I don’t wanna talk to you.” You snapped out. Adrian groaned.

“Honey I’m sorry! You were right. I should be more angry about it. I don’t think you lecture me all the time and when you do I know it’s cause you care. I’m just an idiot!”

You opened the window glaring at him. “No you’re just sorry cause you want something not cause you mean it.”

“No I do mean it.” Adrian snapped out. “I do mean that I’m sorry for upsetting you and making you cry. I don’t like doing that.”

You rolled your eyes as he reached forward grasping your chin. “Hey.” He whispered out. “I do mean it. You’re right I’m not sorry for brushing the whole thing off but I am sorry for not taking your feelings into account and not listening to you and making you sad. You only speak to me cause you care and I love you and I’m not ready to lose you.” He whispered out.

You moved aside letting him in. He ripped his mask off lunging for you. His head buried in your neck as he held you. You sighed hugging him back.

“You were also right about another thing. I did come for something and that something is you.” He murmured out. “You’re mine. My girl and I don’t like it when we’re apart and you’re mad at me.” He kissed you softly.

“Here I was thinking you’d break up with me and find someone better.” You teased.

“Never.” Adrian looked at you seriously. “I could never.”

“I know

I know

You

You…”

“So you can’t die.” Adrian repeated your words softly. After project Butterfly, you decided it was finally time to tell Adrian your biggest secret.

“Yes..when I was younger I challenged one of the gods and I lost. He proceeded to curse me with immortality.” I sighed.

“That’s why you never age?” Adrian snapped out. A small short laugh bursted. Out of everything he could’ve said you weren’t expecting that.

“Yeah that’s why I don’t age. I’ve lived through it all Adrian.” You smiled at him. He sighed holding your hand.

“And you know me?..” He repeated again. You nodded standing up.

“This is my photo album that I’ve never shown you..it goes back to when cameras were invented.” Adrian looked through it shocked to see himself over and over.

“Y/N..you fall in love with me over and over again.” He whispered in shock.

“And I standby you as you die too.” You spoke. “I love you Adrian Chase. More than anything in this universe.”

Adrian stood up scooping you up in his arms. “I love you too..I don’t know what to say. This is crazy. Like it’s cool but also like wow. You’re telling me that you fall in love with me over and over?”

“It’s how I knew your favorite that night we met at the bar. I’ve gotten you that same drink so many times.” He laughed at your words.

“I wanna be with you forever.” He whispered out.

“I'm here regardless of the pain

Don't ever tell me to go away

From you”

“ADRIAN!” You yelled for him as you bursted through the hospital doors. Chris stood up going to meet you.

“Y/N! Hey hey calm down he’s in surgery right now as we speak.” He grasped your arm. You yanked away from him.

“You don’t talk to me! You could give two shits about him.” You snapped out. A nurse approached you both.

“Adrian Chase?” She spoke up. Your head snapped up.

“I’m his fiance.” You looked at her worriedly. It was seven pm when you got the call. Adrian had been in a tough fight and took a gunshot for Chris.

You had practically ran yourself here.

The nurse nodded. “He’s in the ICU asking to see you. I could take you back there with him?” She offered softly. “The doctor said his chances are not so good. The gun punctured his upper cavity..”

Your heart dropped at her words. You rushed with her seeing Adrian in his hospital bed. Tears welled in your eyes as you ran to him.

“Adrian..” You whispered out. Your hand grasped his. “I’m right here baby even if you can’t see me I’m right here. I’m not gonna go anywhere.”

Adrian laid barely able to speak. His hand gently squeezed yours back as you kissed his arm. Your head pressed against his shoulder.

“You’re gonna be okay. You have too. I can’t lose you so soon. Please don’t make me lose you so soon.” You sobbed against him.

“When we're old and have to leave the Earth

I'll still remember all I've learned

From you”

You had never once lost Adrian this soon. You were supposed to have a lifetime left before this happened again.

This wasn’t something you had prepared for. Adrian always was unpredictable.

He laid asleep in bed your hand still in his. You weren’t going to leave him. You refused too.

You’d do anything for him.

That includes giving your life away. You grasped his hand tightly.

Something filled you deeply. There was always a part of the curse you were bared that, you didn’t tell Adrian. The only way to cure the curse would be to past it on to the person you love the most.

Immortality was one of your greatest shames though. It wasn’t all it was thought out to be. You didn’t want Adrian to die though.

“This will kill me..” You spoke softly. The second the curse would leave your body, you’d die.

You smiled softly kissing him. “I love you. And I hope you find someone to love again. Maybe in another life we’re happy?..” A small sob left you as you caressed his head letting your life spill into him.

Adrian woke up alone.

[angel-purger]

⁰¹ As Lovers Do - Yandere! Geto Suguru x Gn! Reader

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      Cross-posted on Quotev (@.oc34n1d) and Wattpad (@.heart-stricken)

      9,100+ Words.

      —    Request by the very pleasant Nana ! It took me quite some time to be able to finish this but I really liked how this turned out and I hope you all did too. Again, if you want more detailed one-shots or headcanons, don't be afraid to explain to me in detail about what you want! Writing Geto's shift to obsession was really enjoyable and he's a really complex character. Alongside that, but accurate characterization for both the reader and Geto is so hard to write, so apologies if this took some time to be published. Scroll down for more notes.

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⠀ ⠀Protect human lives, sacrifice your own if you will; devour what is evil. Protect humans, do everything in your power to do so, but never expect to  be appreciated by the public eye, shun away from society's admiration— instead being a topic if scorn for being different. 

⠀ ⠀Geto abides by his ideology, engraving it in his mind without thought.

⠀ ⠀Protect humans, you are a jujutsu sorcerer for that sole reason.

⠀ ⠀Are human lives worth saving? 

⠀ ⠀He can never eviscerate the bitter taste of curses. An unwashed, soiled, and iniquitous taste of death. Like a rag used to repeatedly wipe vomit, feces, and every vile chemical mixed into one. He can taste death, he can feel it lump at his throat at every second; ascending gradually with its acuate, protruding claws. He wants to cry, but every time tears well in his eyes, he is faced with the constant reminder of her death.

⠀ ⠀Riko Amanai, a failed mission, a dead vessel, subsequently leading to the stillbirth of immortality's mortal body to be renewed with Riko's body. Subsequently leading to a doomed future for the lives of people within Japan— a haunting reflection of his failures, failures he could've avoided if he was fast enough, strong enough to predict that fucking bullet.

⠀ ⠀Why wasn't he fast enough?

⠀ ⠀The very morals he so pridefully upheld, all crushed with one single mission. He is a disgrace.

⠀ ⠀Gojo was wrong. Geto and Gojo will never be the "two strongest" sorcerers. There can only be room for number one, and Geto will always be second. Second strongest, second best— so much so to the point that his presence doesn't shine as bright as it ever will be once Gojo is in the room. But that's alright, right? After all, he believes that working under the shadows to mitigate human deaths, without the feel to need gratitude from the very lives he saves, is what is right. And what is right is what is just, right?

⠀ ⠀He discovered that the water inside the shower is frigid when you are alone with only your thoughts accompanying you; like ice shards expending down on his back, like the stab of that human monkey (who defeated him so easily, he can't bring himself to admit). It stabs and it stabs and it stabs. And then he spirals, eyes diluting at the images of defeat. Then suddenly the world around him becomes an audience to his silent suffering. He can hear the cult members smiles, feel every bit of bile rise up his throat, taste the sin of death once more.

⠀ ⠀Geto is done showering.

⠀ ⠀Every day is a loop. Rinse and repeat. Wake up, eat, bathe, missions, more missions, explore some uncharted areas of the city, guarantee that it is safe from curses, go home, rest, dinner, sleep. There are moments where they interchange, but they never change.

⠀ ⠀Very few mention Riko Amanai. After all, she is a topic taboo now, especially since it heavily affected both Gojo and Geto's mentality. In more than different ways in fact.

⠀ ⠀He wants to stop thinking about her. Distractions are not needed in an era full of brimming human life— life that Geto has to, again, protect.

⠀ ⠀Just as he is about to leave his dorm after putting on his everyday school attire (making a mental note to skip breakfast and eat lunch alone), he is notified of a mission. A mission where he has to accompany a rookie sorcerer, a student like him admittedly, and it was a concept he wasn't accustomed to. After all, he was surrounded by talented people, and in a sea of talents, he felt more like a drop of dew— so maybe, despite the strange request from his Sensei, Masamichi Yaga, this would provide him a new opportunity.

⠀ ⠀He hopes it does. Your profile exhibits your meek countenance, like any normal civilian, but you seem strong enough to be scouted. There's not much of a significant presence you display when he read through your documents. Or so he thought.

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⠀ ⠀You became his new, temporary partner (he insists on that status on you, donning a pretty fake smile through his growing eyebags). It was surprising, really, to see you up close after reading through your files. The moment he met you eye-to-eye did he realize you share the same height as him, a few centimeters taller, he could estimate.

⠀ ⠀Geto's preliminary view of you was taken aback when you, albeit awkwardly, mingled with him after both greeting each other. You treated him warmly- like any normal person would- despite being strangers in the eyes of passerby's. Walking on the sidewalk, pretending that the mission you both (more-so you, than him, as he was simply there to accompany you in case of a problematic event) were to undergo didn't involve harrowing exorcism and countless condolences from any deaths involved.

⠀ ⠀Before he could mutter anything further, to proceed on the site of your mission, you'd drag him into, as you state, your favorite chain of street foods. Did you want to distract yourself from furthering your shared mission, or were you idiotic enough to forget to eat breakfast that you'd have to drag his bleary body elsewhere to satisfy your needs? He was pleasantly (or was it hesitatingly?) surprised when you beckon him closer to buy any street food that catches his attention, as long as it is within your school allowance.

⠀ ⠀As he was about to differ from your offer (he didn't want to seem rude to you), your lips thin to a line and your eyebrows furrow (though your entire expression does not scream of angered. Perhaps you are befuddled with yourself?), and you beat him to it, insisting that he was going all his way to entertain you and all; that despite being acquainted only for a short while did you notice how his stomach grumbled loudly and how he didn't even notice the noise his own body made. He realized he was the idiot here, that he ignored his human need to consume actual food rather than curses.

⠀ ⠀Prior to his knowledge of you, you're more caring than what he envisaged. Soft. The qualities very unlike a jujutsu sorcerer should possess unless one wishes for death. Yet, that momentary lapse of emotion in your face tells him you are more than experienced in the field work of jujutsu than what he expected— you are soft, but you are dominating. Caring, but challenging.

⠀ ⠀His mind blanks.

⠀ ⠀Then he finds himself licking off the residue of the bits of fish flakes on the side of his mouth after you both decide on takoyaki. You're both on the sidewalk again, with him stealing (prolonged) glances at you— you acting like nothing has happened, matching his pace as- as equals would.

⠀ ⠀It was strange, for him, to experience this type of casual kindness after a period of solitary confinement from his peers. You were merely treating him, as one co-worker does when wanting to pay a favor to a higher up after given assistance. But why, compared to his other classmates, who in more cases than one pay for their occasional food excursion, does he like it when you domineeringly persisted that you should pay for him. Was he becoming soft? Or was it you that tamed a part of him that he swore was nothing?

⠀ ⠀There were cases your body draws nearer to his whilst you try to make small talk - could you even sense how much he could sense you? - where he could feel the visceral heat off the barrier of the pitch-black fabric you wear. Geto swears he didn't mean to, but he could smell the faint perfume you're donning— it was way different to the smell of crimson he's perpetually exposed to.

⠀ ⠀Your smile. The indistinct crinkle of your eyes, eyes that bounce bashfully from his eyes to the surrounding nature. It's as if, despite your mouth moving automatically, attempting to forgo the small-talk that he started, those sneaky eyes of yours always find it way back to meet his.

⠀ ⠀Were you perhaps admiring him after he regained some energy? It wouldn't be the first time. After all, compared to his white-haired best friend, he was always the more charming one of the two, often attracting ladies he seemingly never bat an eye on. And maybe you were just like them; he would forget you after this mission, and you would simply see him as an unreachable force, a special grade sorcerer whose talents would be a force to reckon with—

⠀ ⠀But maybe he wanted you to idolize him, in a way where you couldn't stand as an equal in power, but you could stand beside him with the power to overcome him more intimately, just like how you, a few moments ago, stood your ground; softly glaring at him like how a lover would to their naturally self-neglectful partner. 

⠀ ⠀What was he thinking?

⠀ ⠀If- if maybe he could have known you longer then he would've loved to share his ideologies with you more, share a deeper questioning of society. With how understanding you are, you would empathize with him in a heartbeat. With how quick you slip into the grasp of blunt truth, how easily your eyes would flitter about once faced with a ridiculous statement ("I think it's funny how oblivious humans are, no? They could be killed at any opportunity by curses. How unfortunate is it to be born with nearly no cursed energy... Shouldn't- shouldn't sorcerers just let them be? To rot? After all, saving them means attaining nothing on our part.") he would docilely express— you'd rebut him, but at the same time you would do so with the thought of his ideas in mind.

⠀ ⠀How invigorating must you be?

⠀ ⠀If you share the same sentiment with him then—

⠀ ⠀Then he'll finally have someone to rely on. In a world full of corrupt notions, you could be the only one who would comfort him

⠀ ⠀And God, your presence was really relaxing compared to the odd bunch he surrounds himself with— like a breath of fresh air amidst the fetid scent of curses he devours.

⠀ ⠀The most tantalizing part of you? You haven't even demonstrated your cursed technique, nor your fighting style to him— you've both just arrived at the scene of the crime too. Yet he's convinced that you seem to hold a lot of power over him.

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⠀ ⠀Protect human lives, sacrifice your own if you will. 

⠀ ⠀The more that oh-so inspiring phrase repeats itself in his head like a broken record, the more he's stuck in a predicament of wanting and unwanting the want. He should protect them, the people, no?— God, humans are filthy, they're weak. And sorcerers; they don't deserve to be hidden, treated less...

⠀ ⠀You don't deserve to be undermined, especially by that loathsome family of yours.

⠀ ⠀A few days pass and he finds himself seeking your presence out, alas he couldn't. You were a lower rank than him, stuck with lower-ranking missions— and he's a special grade, dragged into countless complex commissions that would surely tire anyone. Anytime he tries to seek you out, he would find himself in another mission assigned by those abhorrent superiors; and that is merely another day without you.

⠀ ⠀Another day where he drowns in melancholic thoughts in the shower; drowns in what-ifs and the motifs of his supposed success of saving Riko. Yet the more time he spends in the showers without seeing that demulcent, yet potent expression of yours; Geto's imaginations drift from the need to finding any meaning of being a jujutsu sorcerer to yearning for the normalcy you unveiled.

⠀ ⠀When was the last time he was able to inhale so freely without feeling the sharp claws sinking its ways to his hard? When was the last time he exhaled without bile climbing up his throat? It's you he's thinking of again. You he associates with peace.

⠀ ⠀The erratic sprinkle of water from the showers doesn't sound like the cult members' laughs anymore... When he turns it off, the accustomed silence accompanied by pitch-sharp wringing was replaced by whispered voices; all the same sounding, yet they make his tense muscles relax. They all sound like you.

⠀ ⠀And...

⠀ ⠀The urge to strike another conversation with you struck itself into his nerves once more.

⠀ ⠀But he couldn't, even if he wanted to- definitely would.

⠀ ⠀So he- he simply has to find another way to know more about you; to check if you always wear that expression of yours, the one he wishes to engrave in his brain. Not only that but, he needs to evaluate your strengths so he could - in his mind - protect you, right? All throughout the mission you were efficient with utilizing your cursed technique, but in the end you had still ended up with minor injuries; some bruises, others scratches. They could turn major if he wasn't there to watch over you once you're faced with stronger, more complex opponents, no?

⠀ ⠀The idea terrorized itself into the core of his amygdala. He feels fear. He has to know more about you.

⠀ ⠀Because he couldn't find you in the period you both are working, with minimum time for breaks, Geto convicted himself to obtrusive methods of locating you.

⠀ ⠀By locating, that means he simply resorted to stalking you, hence how he discovered your not-as-kind family.

⠀ ⠀Your parents, monkeys, with no ounce of cursed energy whatsoever. Whose talents don't even do jackshit for society— who has the audacity to ridicule you like you're nothing but dirt. Rummaging through files he shouldn't have access to, Geto was revealed with information that you were scouted by the school after they found you coping furiously with your cursed technique after an argument which led you to being kicked out of the house you used to live in.

⠀ ⠀You were unaware of your skill, yet you managed to achieve what other sorcerers take time to master. He finds you not only endearing, but enough to be revered by others. But his prior admiration turned into aggravation soon enough after scanning through your files again.

⠀ ⠀You have nowhere to live other than the highschool you both reside in, no one else for a support system, nothing at all. Hell, you're even financially dependent on the allowance of the high school, yet you even went as far as to treat him like it won't cut your budget. Again, you have nothing. 

⠀ ⠀But he could change that. 

⠀ ⠀He will give you everything you want.

⠀ ⠀If he finds a way to at least convince the higher ups to be given missions that require your presence - he could convince them that he shall be your temporary, no, longterm mentor - then he could be everything for you, and you could care for him too. You both could depend on each other, and he won't be so lonely, no? Won't feel so utterly useless, with no meaning to live life. You could be the very reason he still maintains his cool, the reason why he hasn't killed off those monkeys yet.

⠀ ⠀He will find a way.

⠀ ⠀Geto Suguru always finds a way. He is, after all, a jujutsu sorcerer.

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⠀ ⠀And so you were suddenly wormed beside Geto once more, though you were convinced that this wouldn't be the last time you will be paired with the mysterious man who keeps a composed smile, opposite to when you first met him. His eyebags, too, were smaller, like he has been regaining sleep once more. You couldn't deny that it made him even more handsome than your first impression of him.

⠀ ⠀His curt smile broke into a beam once he noticed you eyeing him up and down. 

⠀ ⠀Compared to last time, he seemed healthier. Was there something that induced a sudden change in him? Of course, you can't really assume anything since you have met him only once, but there's something about him that you couldn't pin-point. Despite shining brighter than before - you could describe him akin to the serene atmosphere of winter - there was a hidden undertone to him that scorches you, and you don't know why but you chose to ignore it in favor of prioritizing the newly assigned mission.

⠀ ⠀Looking back, the superiors' evaluation of you suddenly increased; and now you were paired with the special grade again, with no arbitrary explanation as to why him specifically. But it didn't really affect you personally, so there's no need to worry about anything.

⠀ ⠀In the blink of an eye, he was meticulously closer to you, right hand finding its way to your chin as his index finger beckons you to stare into his eyes. He mutters something under his breath, words you couldn't catch on. Then his smile grew wider than ever, you couldn't deny that it charmed even you.

⠀ ⠀"You sure do love staring at me, huh?" Despite the back of his fingers tenderly rubbing the sides of your chin, you couldn't bring it in yourself to pull back, a magnetic force compelling you to linger in your compromising position. Noticing barely any signs of discomfort, Geto's left hand finds itself holding your right and he brings it up near your chest and squeezes it affectionately.

⠀ ⠀Is he flirting with you?

⠀ ⠀"You must be undressing me with your eyes." He purrs, taking it further and kissing your knuckles whilst maintaining eye-contact with you. To that, you unhurriedly take your hand away from his grip (you swear that you nearly feel his clasp on you tightening for a slight second), and chuckled lightly.

⠀ ⠀Your response was curt, "Well, it feels like you are doing the same thing, no?" It's as if you were pretending the abrupt, sensual action he did didn't affect you one bit. He is, you couldn't deny one bit, incredibly attractive and you'd love to reciprocate the flirting but a reminder that he was a year above you and that you barely even know him clashes its way to your mind. And, for the most part, you only met him once. In that one singular meeting did he not display such provocative insinuations. It was just now that there was a sudden fondness that was triggered.

⠀ ⠀Can you really stand your ground against such a courteous man? Although he was a tad raunchy, maybe it wasn't only towards you? Does it really matter?

⠀ ⠀You're overthinking it, you figured as you snap out of your trance. Looking back at Geto once more, you gaze at him, leisurely, with not a negative thought but instead with goals aligning to your mission once more.

⠀ ⠀It was back again, your tender visage salted with rationale mentality. You've no knowledge about Suguru's increasing fondness of you, but you do know you would, by all odds, reciprocate his adoration of you soon enough.

⠀ ⠀Geto Suguru is a man who works between the line of preservation and consumption. To preserve the preciousness of human lives is a goal he doubts, and to consume curses is an everyday activity he comes to dread— but he was willing to preserve only your life whilst ultimately letting the image of you consume him.

⠀ ⠀Instead of you treating him to a snack before your mission, you find yourself entangled with Geto-kun - he insists on you calling him informally albeit the short time spent together - in your favorite restaurant, ordering your favorite foods and beverages, and chattering with him casually as "friends" do— after the mission. You were about to refuse his invitation but you halted as you were well aware that you did the same for him and it would be hypocritical of you.

⠀ ⠀Geto snickered lightly at your modest display, but was most definitely pleased as he reiterated what you said at your first meeting.

⠀ ⠀"Your stomach grumbled on our way out. You should eat, my treat. After all, a way to a man's heart is through food, yes?"

⠀ ⠀At that statement, you smacked him lightly in the arms and glared, amused, at him with thin lips— your expression then broke out into a laugh as you walked alongside him.

⠀ ⠀At least you could confidently say that by the end of the night that you had thoroughly enjoyed conversing with him. He was not only intellectual with words, but he was persuasive all throughout your debates with him in the restaurant. There were moments you disagreed with his sentiments, especially about humans born with no cursed energy, as you did. Though if you were to weigh it all out, you have made more agreements with him than disagreements and you weren't afraid to voice out your reasonings without invalidating him; he seemed to really like that about you, as you note his pleasant smile all throughout. He never broke his eye-contact with you too, eyes following your mouth forming the counterarguments whilst also acknowledging his assertions.

⠀ ⠀This was the first time in a while that actually liked the concept of debates, since Geto was so pleasing, so receptive of the things you say; like every word matters.

⠀ ⠀You really, really like this man.

⠀ ⠀Since you're aware of the new position assigned to you as his colleague despite not being in the same grade— you find yourself wishing for these "dates" to occur more often by the near future. And by future, you mean at least every week.

⠀ ⠀Perhaps it was a shared sentiment, but you really do feel a spark between you two, a linked closeness that transcends more than just acquaintances despite it being a second meeting. Or... you are perhaps consumed by fatigue from the mission as it is trickier by default when you find yourself working with a special grade.

⠀ ⠀And... Maybe your brain was too preoccupied, but you have never once had the thought of Geto knowing all your favorites cross your mind.

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ────────── ✩ ────────── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ────────── ✩ ────────── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

⠀ ⠀Hours turn into days, days into weeks, and finally weeks turn months— and within that time frame did Geto Suguru experience a blizzard of emotions. All these burst inside of him like fireworks blazing through the midnight sky.

⠀ ⠀Everything was going well with you, of course. Every single day was a period of time where he was able to keep track of you; the time you wake up, eat, shower, even sleep. He knew your hobbies, too, after visiting your dorm whensoever. He even memorized the smell of your room, the various trinkets plastered around your walls, he could locate your bed without hesitation even with a blindfold— Geto could even recall the spots where the early sunlight hits your bed.

⠀ ⠀Every moment spent with you was an opportunity to know you better, on more personal levels. He was the first to know about your habits, those that you typically hide at face value, the ones you were embarrassed to show to your friends— ones only he (not even you were aware) notices and treasures. 

⠀ ⠀It was only fair that he lets you know about him in an equal amount. After all, every known boundary he has ever set were practically nonexistent when it comes to you. 

⠀ ⠀So he lets you in on his deepest darkest secrets. He whispers to you, nightly, about his interests, about his passions, about his greatest fears— the one thing he fears the most, one he has never told anyone; not his family, not his friends, nobody but you— is the alienation he feels from everyone. He has been through everything, he tasted death, and no one could relate to the taste of rot, not even his closest friends. Only you would know, you'll be the only one who holds his heart in your hand, even if he knows that you could betray him at any given moment.

⠀ ⠀But you won't.

⠀ ⠀He tells you all about all the vulnerable parts of him in hopes of garnering your attention on him. And yes you did, every part of you felt pity for him, and he loves the way you react. Geto loves your expressions. Loves the way your face twists to disgust one time, when he described what a mouthful of curses taste like. Or when you'd press your body behind him (he loves just how much you trust him enough to be intimately close to him), arms wrapped around his back, eyes tightly closed, and mouth slightly agape as the cool breeze of the air hits your face violently, as he flew both of you to take an arial view of the city at night, using a curse, of course.

⠀ ⠀Every face you make, obscure or not, triggers intense reactions from the man. So much so he feels like he could die from perspiration the first time you reciprocated his flirting, by kissing his cheeks, taking him aback. Goodness, he won't ever let anything get in between you two, and he most definitely would never forget the instance you smiled lopsidedly at him right after, a slight flush on your face.

⠀ ⠀Menial conversations became in depth discussions when it came to you, even if your responses would sometimes have frivolous undertones in them; Geto would still want to crawl deeper into your brain, have a need to disect every single information you know. Every course of action you make, the black-haired man would always find examples to love about you. Sometimes, it feels like you're a specimen living under his care, but God does he worship you like you are divine in every way.

⠀ ⠀And Geto wasn't merely a special grade sorcerer for nothing (and they are known for using eccentric methods to get what they want). He was right to assume that the more he initiated on displaying his liking for you, through actions especially, the more you grow increasingly fond of him, but not to his levels of... obsession.

⠀ ⠀But you bask in the attention of your sensual sorcerer, so it wasn't a surpise that, well—

⠀ ⠀It only took a little bit of time to pass - though it felt a very long period of Geto; he had to remind himself that patience and perseverance is key - and then suddenly you two were finally official.

⠀ ⠀And like lovebirds, everywhere you went, you were accompanied by Geto. Hand holding, hands on your waist, eyes finding its way to look at only you, even if there is another person in the room trying to talk to him— it's like he wants to connect himself to you in every way possible. You don't mind it at all, though, already aware enough of his circumstances when it comes to attachment issues.

⠀ ⠀You have been so close before, but even more intimate now, to the point his colleagues and teachers alike were aware of your tight-knit relationship. Even Gojo Satoru, resident tormentor of Jujutsu Tech, teased Geto about his increasing PDA with you, often guffawing in the background whenever he spots you two inseperably cuddling and pressing kisses into each other's cheeks like immature, hormonal teens.

⠀ ⠀You had even slept in the same bed as him.

⠀ ⠀When he woke up the next day, with your head nuzzled into the crevice of his neck, his arms squeezing your body against his, warm sheets entangling both of you together like a cocoon... When you utter random noises in your sleep, snuggling closer to him whenever your dreams become unpleasant... He watches over your slumbering form, sometimes even shifts to make sure you're in a better position, to make sure that the duvet covers you entirely.

⠀ ⠀Geto has never thanked any being above, never intended to, believing that sorcerers are the truly divine beings that humankind should worship— but he laudes whoever is out there, his ancestors perhaps, that for once he was endowed with someone beyond anything he would ever want. You are everything Geto needs in his life.

⠀ ⠀So why is it that..?

⠀ ⠀With everything going so well, so perfect...

⠀ ⠀It was all so perfect until...

⠀ ⠀The notion of prosperity came tumbling down, like a world-ending meteor, when one of his close juniors died from a curse, with his fellow partner in the mission suffering gravely after him. Haibara Yu, a bubbly underclassman who you was also your classmate, so it was no doubt that you, too, grieved.

⠀ ⠀He never wants to see that solemn expression in your face again...

⠀ ⠀The lump of flesh that was presented to Shoko Ieri and the other students, all shoved inside a cadaver bag, reeked of flesh— a scent all jujutsu sorcerers were accustomed to, but never coped with if they bare the knowledge that that someone is familiar with them. He shouldn't have been so affected; in ways where despite caring for his junior... He feels a mixture of animosity brimming inside him.

⠀ ⠀He shouldn't have been so jealous of a corpse gaining the slightest bit of your spotlight, shouldn't be so envious of the way you spill tears over someone else... But most importantly, he hates it when you'd be stuck in a dissociative trance afterwards, just like the one he was in when Riko died. 

⠀ ⠀Everything snaps the moment he remembers his discussion with that fellow blonde-haired special grade, the dead-beat who never did her job. Geto didn't enjoy conversing with her, finding her reasonings meaningless, her words of persuasion only reserved for her interests. He didn't indulge in her as he did you. But that particular conversation cemented itself in his brain, and now he's stuck with questions swirling his mind, questions he knew would be answered with vehement solutions.

⠀ ⠀Then he was back at it again, after rediscovering his memories, in a spiral of neverending speculation. Why do sorcerers need to protect those foul monkeys? Why is it that it is the sorcerers who have to adjust to the norm? Why are they regarded as the odd bunch? Why do they have to die for useless beings lower than them?

⠀ ⠀Amidst all the questioning he does, there were relevant ones that struck a particular nerve in him.

⠀ ⠀It all circles back to you. You, you, you.

⠀ ⠀Why would it not be you?

⠀ ⠀And what if...

⠀ ⠀What if you had died instead of Haibara?

⠀ ⠀Tears, salty and brimming with bitter feelings, for the first time in ages, trickled out his eyes, sliding uncomfortable against shivering skin. Uncontrollable and inevitable. What came with despair was also hysteria.

⠀ ⠀He couldn't cope with that idea. No, not at all— he wants to extinguish the very possibility that you, of all people, could die very early just because— because you would forfeit your life for worthless ones. You're way more than just a sacrificial lamb; you're Geto's everything. He couldn't afford to lose you, couldn't even grasp the prospect of your death.

⠀ ⠀The shower water plummeled down his head like a hailstorm, to his torso, until it nipped on his feet with its unforgiving frost.

⠀ ⠀But he knows you. He's aware that despite the rocky relationship you have with your family, or the demeaning comments from your supposed friends, that you would die for those untalented monsters. You're too considerate. He wants that consideration all for himself.

⠀ ⠀ He hates it, he hates everything whenever you consider everyone but yourself. He will take care of it, of you. But how could he? Not when you insist on sitting quietly and receiving all those harsh treatments forced on you.

⠀ ⠀ He has never felt so helpless before. It devours him, inside and out, like insects crawling on his skin, nipping and biting flesh— like he himself was merely a corpse for maggots to pig through.

⠀ ⠀ It's almost class time, and even if he dreads coming to the class of three (minus one, as Gojo is now consistently busy with missions), burden running down his spine at the notion that you would be in a separate class.

⠀ ⠀Geto overlooked the fact that, despite suffering from the solitude of the bathroom showers, ​​​​​​he isn't as alone as he thought, not anymore. For in his misery, you share the sentiment.

⠀ ⠀ You await him, in his room, eyes sore from incessant tears, body especially nearly letting you down after countless bouts of harming yourself over being unable to comfort your boyfriend over his turmoil. Yet you're unwavering from your seated position, ready to confront your boyfriend shall he ever lead into a path of self destruction.

⠀ ⠀Geto stumbled out of the showers, somber mind neglecting the very schedule he has plastered all over his head, a display of utter patheticness. At this time of the day, you were always loitering around his dorm.

⠀ ⠀ How could he have forgotten? As he rubs fatigue off his eyes, he ceased in his tracks, ears picking up a slight wringing. His wet hair drenched the t-shirt he threw on, but the sharp, frore water isn't the cause of his shivering— it's you, who he saw in the corner of his eyes, sat on his bed.

⠀ ⠀He should've expected it, it was already part of your daily routine to visit him, yet it still shook him when he found a blob of your hair color in his peripheral vision— so much so to the point that even breathing betrayed him.

⠀ ⠀Why was he crying again?

⠀ ⠀ There's no other way to describe Geto's situation, other than that of a trapped dear, with no way to outrun a speeding car in the middle of the road— but you're not the type to harm him - maybe in bed you would, pleasurably - but you wouldn't hurt him because you wanted to. Yet he still fears showcasing vulnerability, afraid of betrayal, especially from you. So all he could do was stand, feet losing sensation, unable to move an inch; to even breath was to move, and he couldn't.

⠀ ⠀ But it was you who cut into the thick atmosphere, standing up, footsteps unheard, towards Geto who was rooted on the floor, body tense.

⠀ ⠀ The first thing he saw when he glanced up with ruddy eyes was your gentle gaze.

⠀ ⠀ He visibly relaxed, albeit unmoving. It doesn't matter, though, not to you at least— because you see his tear-stained cheeks and puffy, tired eyes and uptight body that tells you he won't be emotionally recovering soon. You want do to nothing more other than to spoon him wholly and tell him you'll deal with everything. But you can't. You can't because you're not of the same status as him, not strong enough you stress. And you can't because you're tired, too, just like him and all the others, but especially him. And although you tell yourself that you're an intrepid Jujutu sorcerer who should bare no weaknesses; you can break as easily as the others.

⠀ ⠀ But you have to be strong for him.

⠀ ⠀ Holding his hands in yours, you give it a gentle squeeze, looking down on him with loving eyes. You beat him to it, beat him at his game and questioned him if he's alright, if he needed space to think. To which his answer was to strongly grip your palm a second after the question, gaze hardened on you, as a confirmation that he did not, in fact, want you out his room, for others to look at you and comfort you.

⠀ ⠀ You ask him what's wrong, only for you to sputter back and tell him that he's not​​​​​ obligated to answer any of your questions should he not be stable enough.

⠀ ⠀ Not a single response... You ask again, eyes now harboring a demand for answers, but there's nothing.

⠀ ⠀ Slight irritation follows your countenance when all you were met with was silence...​​

⠀ ⠀Then your stark personality displays itself once more, your voice a deeper octave as you palm his face and stare deeply into his eyes; he falls in love all over again That's when you began mumbling to him, like you're sharing secrets nobody else could access. When you tell him that he has every right to grieve and be frustrated at the same time, that he shouldn't hold back tears; he felt bare naked in front of you. But you weren't scrutinizing him, even if all that comes out your mouth is the truth, ones that should've hurt him for making him feel defenseless in the arms of danger, but didn't. Because those words were from you.

⠀ ⠀Your word is God, and he calms down just enough to stare back at you, shaky figure and everything, and brings his hands to cup your palm, rubbing lovingly.

⠀ ⠀ You peck his cheeks, giggling when you felt the sheer wetness it was drowned in. But before you could pull back as quickly, Geto's head moved faster to kiss your mouth, passionate and seering, hands resting on your waist. It took a few seconds of nuzzling into each other, but it felt like eternity before he withdrawed, palms tenderly rubbing your cheeks.

⠀ ⠀Geto Suguru didn't just love you— he loves you, every part of you. And he decides, from now on, whether you'd consent or not, that you'll never leave him. Familial bonds are nothing to you, now that your parents have finally passed away (and you've no idea on their cause of death, nor the fact that they were brutally mauled by an amalgation of curses), your friends are nothing compared to him— you are the- the only one that matters to him, and he wishes you would reciprocate that notion. 

⠀ ⠀So a choice (one where you, perhaps, will never have a say in) was set in Geto's persistent mind; now or never.

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ────────── ✩ ────────── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ────────── ✩ ────────── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

⠀ ⠀Geto hopes you would forgive him after everything. He hopes that you wouldn't mind it if you were to be permanently separated from the entire civilization, only to be admired by his greedy eyes.

⠀ ⠀ 'Protect human lives?' No, he will not even spare a glance at to those monkeys. He'd prioritizes on a new goal— to protect your life, firstly. From any harm, any danger; from something as small like a prick of a needle to even death itself.

⠀ ⠀ He loves it when you look at him, eyes shining with adoration every time he saves you from momentary danger. So he'll do it again. Though, only now will you be permanently safe, where no filthy nothings may lay hands on you.

⠀ ⠀He hopes that you wouldn't notice how he has an apartment set up just for both of you, that you wouldn't wonder why all your belongings - that were left in your bygone, desolate house - were now moved into the multisectioned rooms designed just for your taste.

⠀ ⠀ He sets a date on his calendar for the day you would be relocated in a new space far more homely and spacious than the dorms in Jujutsu Tech.

⠀ ⠀ By the time the moon engulfs the sky with its dim light, he'd drug your favorite dinner whilst you're comfortably oblivious to his ministrations. He'll be conversing with you while sometimes feeding you portions of his food, as couples always do (except for the part his tongue would linger a bit long on his chopstick after he fed you with it), laughing tenderly with each others' jokes and simply enjoying the solitude of being together... Then after a while you would be too hazy to comprehend anything, and Geto, being your ever-so loving boyfriend, will guide you to your now shared dormitory, and he'll tuck you in, not after you briefly snuggle with him in bed— and, well, he didn't want to get up from your tight embrace. But he has to, for the sake of your safety and his sanity.

⠀ ⠀ The travel would be made as smooth as possible, with silent promises that you won't even feel a wee bit of discomfort despite your heavily drugged state; he'll guarantee you won't awake from your slumber— he would curse himself if he wasn't gentle with your while you were in your most vulnerable state. The look he has on his face as he stares at your closed eyes and stable breathing is so soothing, just like all the times you've treated him nicely. He'll be so... so good to you. He'll secure himself with the position as the only one you'll ever need in your life. If he can't abide by his promises, then he doesn't deserve to be called your lover. 

⠀ ⠀ You'll- you'll give him another chance, wouldn't you? Even if the chances see your friends (they're unworthy of your presence, never appreciating you for all the things you've done for them) or family (as if you have any to come back to; he eliminated those worthless beings) would be zero— you'll understand, no?

⠀ ⠀ You don't have to do any arduous chores inside the apartment. Everything would be given to you as long as you stay with him. Everything. You'll be granted limited access to internet, with all your history rooted into his tracking devices— though you'd have every means of entertainment you want. Food isn't a problem, your device would only have access to Geto's phone, so you could call him any time your stomach buzzes with hunger, and the fridge is always stocked with your favorite snacks. Every hobby you would garner would be indulged in— you had once briefly mentioned your interests in crocheting, but never having the opportunity to due to clashing schedules between school and personal life. Now is the perfect opportunity to do anything, as long as it stays within his radar.

⠀ ⠀ All you have to do is, as hard as it may be, is to accept your new living environment. Nothing else would change, even if you choose to fight him back at first— because Geto loves you, and he'll deny his heart the turmoil of ever losing you.

⠀ ⠀ So once you'd arise from the bed with an unfamiliar, yet cozy blanket, (that he bought specifically catering to your tastes), he would be at your beck and call before you could even properly sit up (still sober from the heavy dosage of sedatives your boyfriend forced on you without your knowledge).

⠀ ⠀ Any concerns you would ask, it would be entertained with Geto plastering a silvery smile, even if your tone harbored unease. If tears ever came running down your eyes, Geto wouldn't shut you up, but he definitely wouldn't leave you be, to your thoughts alone - like he was back then - not at all. He'd approach you so steadily, careful if you'd flinch the slightest bit once his legs hit the mattress, and he'll hold you so tightly (worst part is, you've no chains or ropes tied on your limbs, no evident scars that was whilst Geto was on the process of kidnapping you. You have nothing to be mad about. He is just so gentle), apologizing profusely as if he wasn't the reason why you're even weeping in the first place once he thoroughly explained the reason for your abduction.

⠀ ⠀ He hates it when you cry, but God does he love it when, despite susceptible state of anguish, you'd reciprocate his hold; as if even your mind, body, and heart couldn't deny that it ultimately belonged to Geto.

⠀ ⠀ So you have to bargain your way through this, not out of it— you're logical enough to know your strengths and weaknesses and you know that in terms of strength, your lover would win. You know him better than everything, and you don't accept easy defeat, you want to fight your way out of this but... The look of adulation in Geto's eyes is way too familiar, that you're the one falling in love again, albeit the strange circumstances.

⠀ ⠀ Then you weigh everything that has been happening for the past for months, and all the signs hits you in the damn face. Geto didn't flirt with you with the intentions of playing with your heart as you have thought so in your second meeting— because if he did, he wouldn't have known all your favorites, didn't say all the words you wanted to hear. He planned everything from the start. Yet you don't feel an ounce of malice from him, you didn't do anything wrong— you weren't abducted because he wanted to torture you; you were abducted because he wants you. For himself, away from the world that wants to tear you to shreds. You brought this onto yourself, so willing to give your heart and soul to the man you thought you love, the man you still do love.

⠀ ⠀ Fuck. A new batch of tears painted your already tear-stained face. You stare at him, his furrowed brows, his handsomely sculpted countenance - the one you held so fondly, kissed a thousand times, worshipped eternally -  yours so incredulous, so filled with utter disarray. Why do you forgive him after everything? Why, nothing more or less, do you want him to tell you everything is alright, since he's there for you?

⠀ ⠀ Perhaps it's the emotions building inside you that bursts like a dam. The resentment you built upon your childhood, or the tears you've wasted on past crushes, or the whole entire world pressuring you to endure through its own faults. Maybe you were similar to him in more ways than one.

      And maybe that's why instead of convincing him to let you go, you tell him you won't be going anywhere. His appalled reaction motioned you to continue, to tell him that you're tired, of life, of everything that's been going on so far. You never wanted to be a sorcerer, but you've no choice lest you wish to sleep on the cold sidewalk of the streets. Every single day was constant pressure, dread that one day you may be disposed of by the high school you reside in shall you ever display a single flaw.

      All the built up secrets that you confided in him shattered his heart to pieces. And it breaks him even more knowing he shares the same sentiment with you. No more. The abrupt kiss to your mouth promptly shut you up, before you could even continue, and you let it be. You willingly open your mouth when he softly nibbled on the bottom of your lips, wet tongue already attacked by another the moment his entered your mouth. The bitter ache in your heart receded. You let him be.

      There was nothing inherently sexual with his and your actions, it was nothing but romantic in your eyes. Tongues entwining, saliva mixing, choaked moans, and all doubts and burdens ceasing in one heated moment— your kisses never lasted long, nor did it ever lead into a make-out so intense like you're both fusing; but it's exactly what you need right now: To get drunk off the passion of Geto's heavy lips and the lack of oxygen that comes after...

      It's enough to make you sleepy, as you gently push your boyfriends slightly ruddy face off of you, at a distance where he was close enough that your noses could still touch. Your face flushes even more at the string of saliva interconnecting both your mouths, but your eyes find itself back into his already piercing eyes, clouded with dizzying passion. Every part of you feels like it would burst into flames the more you relish under his intense gaze, so you opted to move quickly and bury your head into the side of neck, hands lazily plastered on his waist, mouth readily nearing his ears. He reciprocated your actions, chuckling fondly at your affectionate gestures as his knees adjusted to pin both your thighs together, whilst his arms act as a cage to trap you against his chest.

      Before you could utter a word, Geto beats you to it, telling you that you should both sleep already. Despite you having been knocked out for an entire day, with a buzzing headache and numb limbs, it's no doubt you were still tired, and he was too... You move your head from the comfortable position nested on his shoulders and look back at him, at the small eyebags that once again found itself on his face— it takes you back to when you first met him. Burnt out, mellow, but undeniably handsome. You kissed him again, shorter and sweeter this time, nodding as you shifted to lay on the bed, leaving space for Geto, who is still seated, watching you with an indiscernible expression.

      Beckoning for him him drowsily, to join you, you've promptly felt the confines of sleep taking you further into the world of dreams. Dreams where you'd wake up with your loving and compassionate Geto, rather than that of escaping the cage he set up for you. It took a few seconds for your boyfriend to finally move, laying down beside you with arms creeping to your waist. Not a single word was said, only the ruffling of the blanket was heard. You're the one who spoons him when it comes to sleeping in a shared bed together, but his hands found itself moving your head to his chest - the thumping of his heart entrapped in his ribcage tells you he's calm enough, trusting that you won't escape from his ministrations - as though to tell you that only you can have his heart in your hands, nobody else. It didn't take long for you to slowly shut your eyes once more, admitting that his heartbeats was a comforting source for slumber.

⠀ ⠀'You're just so adorable,' he thinks to himself, drifting into the same land of dreams as you, holding you tightly and never letting go.

⠀ ⠀ ...

⠀ ⠀ Geto Suguru is a man of a few words, who dons a plethora of promises, shall you ever be wanting. When he first saw you whilst looking through your files, he at first thought you were average, unmemorable by standards. But even in first impressions would there always be a magnetic draw, strong enough to make it last eternally. (Un)fortunately for you, Geto has always loved you without even knowing it, and the way your first night together - you being away from the tainted hands of civilization - was beyond tranquil, unnatural traits from a prey who was taken unwillingly.

⠀ ⠀ But nothing else matters. Not the concept of healthy relationships, nor the opinions of family or friends, and most certainly not the ridiculing of society's norms.

⠀ ⠀ Nothing matters other than the two bodies entangling themselves on a bed for two, settling in for the night, as lovers do.

Fin.

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      —       PLEASE ! Leave comments, follow me and share this to anybody if you enjoyed this one-shot. It would be appreciated greatly. I've been through writer's block for nearly a year or two now, and writing this helped me combat it. I thoroughly enjoyed making this, and I hope that it's good enough for the readers too! It took me very long to write all these out, as I am rusty wirh writing (and I struggle with English), but really, I would appreciate interaction and likes over anything else! I might publish this as a stand-alone one-shot in a separate book. As always, don't hesitate to request! Thank you for reading this!

26.1 Pages

Published: 02/25/2024

Word Count: 9100+ words

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[tozettastone]

Fantasy Novels Recommended By Vibes

A note about warnings and assumptions: I have given no content warnings, but most of these books have them, usually for violence or sexism. Except the middle grade books. I have assumed everyone knows who Tolkien and Jordan and Le Guin and GRRM are and does not require me to recommend them once more. I have also assumed that everyone following me has read and enjoyed the trashiest of fanfiction at some point or other.

Now, let's go.

"I want something that feels like reading the unhinged fanfiction of a 16 year old girl, but written by and for adults so the sex scenes don't make me feel deeply uncomfortable."

Oh boy. Okay. Don't worry, I've got you.

The Black Jewels trilogy by Anne Bishop. High fantasy. If you like to categorise things you will love the worldbuilding in this. Weird and gender essentialist, although not in the way you might expect.

The Merry Gentry series by L K Hamilton. Urban fantasy. Degrades in quality over time. I would say: read the first two, and then continue at your discretion depending on your tolerance.

"Do you have a version of this that is not quite so focused on sex as worldbuilding?"

I do, I do. Not everything that reads like unhinged fanfiction must automatically contain smut.

A Deadly Education and The Last Graduate by Naomi Novik. It's billed as adult fantasy, but it reads like YA. If you like 2010s fanfiction and wish it were better written more often, you'll love these two.

Any book by Mercedes Lackey will read exactly like fanfiction. I make no comments as to technical quality, but if you like hurt/comfort idfic, you will like these. If you're looking for a zero-romance, one-book introduction to these books, I'd try Brightly Burning.

"That's still a bit too adult. I want something that's fine to read with kids, too!"

Sure! Fantasy loves YA and kids' books, haha.

The Dark Is Rising sequence by Susan Cooper. Middle grade fantasy, leaning heavily on English folklore.

Legendborn by Tracy Deonn. Young adult urban fantasy. Concerned with the legacy of slavery in the US.

The Old Kingdom trilogy by Garth Nix. Young adult high fantasy. The pacing is strong, the worldbuilding is rad.

Tithe by Holly Black. Young adult fantasy. Her later books are better loved but I reread Tithe and then went and read The Cruel Prince for the first time this year and Tithe is better.

The Tortall books by Tamora Pierce. I like The Immortals, but reasonable minds will differ on this one. Middle grade high fantasy.

The Black Magician trilogy by Trudi Canavan. High fantasy, young adult.

"Okay, now I want young adult fantasy like that, but weird."

Weird. Hmm. Okay. Try:

The Tooth Fairy by Graham Joyce. Horror and fantasy, young adult, but not like... too young an adult. Give it to a 15 year old, not a 10 year old.

"That's... too weird. Put some weird back. I want something suitable for teens that's committed to the aesthetics of weirdness, but is not actually weird."

Alright, here are a couple:

Anatomy: A Love Story by Dana Schwartz. Historical fantasy, definitely young adult. The grizzly aesthetics of 19th century graverobbing are a gossamer veil over a cute, but not particularly sophisticated, YA novel.

The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman. Middle grade fantasy. Less weird than it thinks it is, but still fun to read.

"Enough kids' stuff. I want fast-moving urban fantasy!"

Urban fantasy occupies a weird nexus between fantasy and detective noir, which I'm kinda into. Here are my suggestions:

I think everyone who wants urban fantasy is probably aware of the Dresden Files by Jim Butcher, but I'll put it here anyway because there's a big fandom for the Dresden Files so if you stick it out for a bit you get access to all the fics. The first one will take you 3.5 hours and if you don't like it, move on — the writing doesn't really change. Also has a TV series.

The Felix Castor novels by Mike Carey. Urban fantasy, a little more grim, but definitely better written.

Rivers of London by Ben Aaronovitch. Urban fantasy. Main character is a police officer. I recently finished the first of these books and it was pretty fun, but I can't speak to the remainder of the series.

"Tozette, I fucking loved True Blood."

You're in luck, I can make this a whole category.

I bet you've heard of the Southern Vampire Mysteries by Charlaine Harris already, but if you haven't, it's what the TV series was based on. Urban fantasy, but actually kind of rural.

Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter by L K Hamilton. Urban fantasy. Another LKH series that starts fun and degrades rapidly. The first three are fun, they come in an omnibus. I was obsessed with this series when I was 17, which both is and isn't a recommendation. Again, this series has a large fandom.

Dime Store Magic and Industrial Magic by Kelley Armstrong. Urban fantasy. The rest of the Women of the Otherworld series is hit or miss for me, but I do recall liking No Humans Involved.

The Blood Books by Tanya Huff. Urban fantasy. Read if you've ever wished Harry Dresden was female. Also has a TV series!

"Do you have some traditional high fantasy recommendations that aren't Tolkien, Robert Jordan, GRRM, or Ursula K Le Guin? Please?"

Absolutely. Of course. One hundred per cent.

The Elenium trilogy by David & Leigh Eddings. High fantasy. Technically there's also a sequel trilogy, but it's not as good.

The First Law trilogy by Joe Abercrombie. High fantasy. Lots of high fantasy politics.

Urshurak by The Bros. Hildebrandt. High fantasy. Extremely Tolkien inspired but with more amazon women in metal bikinis.

The Books of Pellinor by Alison Croggon. High fantasy. There's four of them and while I wouldn't say they're my favourite books ever, I do think they're a solid, competently written high fantasy series that will stop you from contemplating the horrors of reality for at least three days.

The Last Wish by Andrzej Sapkowski. High fantasy. A great rearrangement of European folklore. I struggled with the representations of women, personally, but they're well constructed stories.

"Recommend something that's fantasy but feels like a totally different genre."

Okay. I can do that. Here you go:

The Chronicles of the Crystal Singers of Ballybran by Anne McCaffrey. It's a trilogy that's set in space and therefore engages with a sci-fi kind of vibe, but if you scratch the surface, the trilogy is fantasy all the way down.

The Case of Charles Dexter Ward by HP Lovecraft. Horror, but also historical fantasy.

The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde. The first three books of the Thursday Next series are gold, actually, but start here. This is about a literary detective living in an alternative history setting. Fantasy, but ideal for people who are going to get the rapid fire literary references.

"Tozette, what if you just recommend a single fantasy book, writer, or series, with your whole heart?"

My WHOLE heart? Okay. Here:

Johannes Cabal the Necromancer, Johannes Cabal the Detective, and Johannes Cabal: the Fear Institute by Jonathan L Howard are each different subgenres of fantasy, and all three of them are absolute fucking bangers. They are the best books on this list according to me. I love them.

[squish--squash]

shittens...

lore and bonus art under the cut

(before I really start the lore I just wanna mention these two hatched from eggs. I have my own speculative biology hcs about cotl that keeps the canonical eggs bc I'm crazy. I'd infodump about it but I'm not sure how my followers would feel about me talking about the reproduction about a fictional group of anthros LSDHGS-)

anyways. Beleth (she/her): the younger twin, second to hatch. she was actually the first shitten I designed, she's got at least two prior attempts at a design before I really settled on her current design. She has two sets of ears and no horns, and her body plan is more of a sheep, except her arms are more cat-like with paws. as a kid, Beleth's pretty energetic and loves to run around, and talking to everyone she sees. very friendly and social. also chaotic at times and causes mischief. Unlike the Lamb, who shears often due to crusading, Beleth rarely shears herself, and keeps extra wool that grows on her head out of her face by pulling it back into a poofy ponytail (it's also a couple shades darker than the lamb). She also always has two bells on her- the bells her and her sister wore when they were babies

Erinyes (she/they): the older twin, first to hatch. her design just popped into existence without me thinking that hard about it, and I'm ngl she's my fav shitten of the two LSHDLGHDS. Her face and body are catlike, but there's some sheep features, like the ears, horns, and hoofed hands. She only has wool on her head, and it's black; as a kid, she hardly sheared it, but as an adult she keeps it a bit shorter, shearing off pieces that get too long. They're not nearly as talkative as Beleth, but they're very fast and graceful. She had a habit of climbing the trees on the edge of the cult ground for some piece and quiet and Narinder would keep having to climb up after her to get her down. When her wool is longer but not longer enough to shear, she keeps the wool out of her face by tying it off to the side in two sections. They're a bit taller and slimmer than Beleth, even as adults

speaking of adults, this is a quick sketch of them when they're fully grown (they're immortal like their parents, and stopped aging once they reached adulthood - which took quite a bit longer lol)

as adults, Beleth because the head nurse of the healers, being apprenticed by the former head nurse (who had been with them both since childhood, her skull necklace prolonging her life); Erinyes becomes the head of missionaries, teaching newbies, organizing supplies to take and where to go, unloading the hauls, and sometimes even joining on missions herself. Their outfits are different as well: Beleth keeps the bells, but replaces the garment she wore as a kid with a pleated skirt, the bells attaching to the thick belt she wears; Erinyes wears a cloak like the Lamb, with an undergarment covering her body (this is mainly to protect herself from the elements when she's outside the cult)

anyways, here's a bonus: I made some wives for the sisters lol

Mabre (she/her): strong, suave, and part of the missionaries. after she was indoctrinated from Anura she was placed to be a missionary; her ass was not listening for the first day bc she was too busy staring at her new boss gayly. gets quite a few scars from her work (including a ripped ear) but she enjoys the work, and doesn't mind. It takes a while for Erinyes to realize their feelings and it's only after Mabre almost dies that she realizes, and promptly pulls a Narinder by ignoring said feelings until Mabre finally makes a move

Hetry (he/she): shy and polite worshipper taken in from Darkwood, was pined after immediately by a certain shitten. They didn't actually talk tho until a prank gone wrong via Leshy resulted in Hetry breaking her leg, and he developed an instant crush upon watching Beleth chew her own uncle out within an inch of his life. enjoys the pleasantries of life and the simplicity of her work. there's a lot of mutual pining until the two finally get together (Erinyes would tease Beleth about it, and then gets a taste of her own medicine after Mabre's indoctrinated)

(they both wear golden skull necklaces for obvious reasons, but Mabre also wears a missionary necklace, while Hetry wears a nature necklace intertwined with his golden skull necklace; they also become disciples eventually, Hetry through her worshipper status and Mabre by constant feats of effort and strength to support the cult)

[jayswritings13]

Disney: Hades SFW Alphabet

Note: Since I've decided not to do NSFW content, I decided to do the SFW alphabet instead.

💗Masterlist | WIP Page

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Hades loves getting affection, but often shows it in unusually ways.

Being the black sheep of the family, left him touch starved and desperate for affection(even if he'd never admit so....)

ACTS OF SERVICE!

Hades will(or have Pain and Panic) do whatever you need.

He loves physical touch, both giving and receiving it.

A day spent with Hades comes with the mandatory arm around your shoulders or waist at all times.

GIVE HIM COMPLIMENTS!

He will brush it off and or act like he already knows how amazing he is, but it will make his heart swell.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Hades is that shitty friend, that secretly cares, but needs to keep their dark and broody reputation up.

He will tell you the truth, despite whether he thinks that it will hurt your feelings or not.

Hades thinks that close relationships are not entirely necessary, and much prefers his own company.

At at least, that's what he tells himself.

Truthfully, this man is an extrovert stuck being alone, and pretends to not mind it, so his Zeus and Poseidon won't bug him.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Hades will never admit it, but he does.

Though, if you bring it up in front of others, he will deny it so hard.

He's probably the best to cuddle with honestly.

He's already a walking heater.

"You comfortable there?"

".....mmhhp." You sighed.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Being alone in the Underworld, Hades had to step up and do a large majority of the cooking and such.

However, he's still really shitty at cooking.

Like, will burn everything somehow.

Well, outside of getting frustrated and turn whatever's in his path to ashes.

"Hades, I literally asked you to boil water. What the fuck happened?"

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Honestly, just fucking says it.

Hades has no filter and will not hesitate to say what he thinks.

He wants this to be done with as soon as possible.

This does not change for break ups.

He does do it in person though and face to face, as he has enough respect to do so.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Hades never seriously thought about marriage.

He was an immortal god.

He knew that being the king of the underworld scared others away.

Well, before his temper and jokes did.

There weren't too many on Mount Olympus who particularly enjoyed his brand of humor.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He tries.

I swear, he really does.

He just isn't really sure how to go about doing so or how to turn off his jack-ass switch sometimes.

He's gotten a bit better, but still needs help.

He'll sit next to you while you're sad, but might ruin the moment when Pain frustrates him.

Or he'll be comforting you, and ultimately cracking a lot of jokes.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Hades is very handsy, and this extends to hugs.

He's basically like a giant space heater.

Perfect for those cold nights in the underworld.

Hades' hugs are very warm, engulfing you in a welcoming hug.

Which makes sense given his size.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It takes him a while to say it.

Well, say it in a meaningful way that is.

You're used to him always jokingly saying it and such that it didn't even occur to you that that's what he was trying to say.

Which pissed him off.

"How much more clear did I have to be?!"

"You always say 'love ya' and shit," you groaned, "How am I supposed to know that this one was different?!"

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

ALL THE GOD DAMN TIME

Doesn't even try to hide it.

He will openly confess to being jealous with no cares given.

He doesn't care what you think about it.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Quick and short or Long and deep

There is no in-between

Though, one thing remains constant.

He loves to kiss your neck.

Mostly because he's hoping that you'll reciprocate.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He doesn't like them, but they love him.

It drives him fucking crazy whenever he is around them because he's a busy guy.

He's running late to meetings because a child wanted to show off their "art" to him.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Hades is up way before you

He's got a million things to do in the Underworld and sleeping in is not one of them

He'll let you sleep in though

Well....until he wants your attention.

So, usually about an extra hour.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Loud.

Hades is a talker and if he hasn't been around you for a majority of the day, then he will talk your fucking ear off.

"Hades, I mean this is the nicest possible way," you said, "shut the fuck up and lay down with me."

He does so, but not without soen comments and grumbling.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Hades will reveal what he wants to

Usually in the form of ranting and rambling on and on and on.....

"......so I told Demeter that she's fucking nuts! I didn't steal your daughter. And then Zeus had get involved....." Hades groaned, sighing, "It was a while ordeal." Hades shrugged, "Anyway, so that is why you can't have a pet."

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Literally, has the worst patience.

The whole underworld is fire proof, luckily because it would not have survived his temper.

You still have no idea how Pain and Panic bounce back from being burned so often.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Hades may talk a mile a might and seem like he doesn't pay attention.

But, he does...... kind of.....

He tries.

"What's this?"

"Your favorite flowers." Hades said, "I had Pain and Panic run up and grab some."

"Oh....." You smiled, glancing down at the flowers.

"What's the matter? They ain't gonna bite you."

"Mmhmm." You nodded, "It's just that I am severely allergic to this particularly flower. If I touch it, you might have to fish me out of the River of Styx yourself."

Since then, he's been getting better at remembering the most important stuff, like your allergies.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

"I was gone for 5 fucking seconds."

"Hades! Watch the tone or you'll lose them." Aphrodite countered, glaring over at the God of the underworld. "And I'm surprised that you even got them..." she muttered, brushing aside some of your hair.

"And what does that mean?!"

"Oh," Aphrodite glances Hades up and down, "I think you don't need me to explain that to you, sweetie." She laughed.

"Oh, Hades is actually very sweet." You said, "in his own way." You muttered, shifting towards Hades' side.

Hades never mentioned it to you too much, but he always appreciated that you stood up to Aphrodite about him.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Hades is very protective.

Always has and always will be

Being a god, he has various ways and methods of protecting you or anyone he deems worth it

Sometimes you hate it, sometimes you love it.

He honestly doesn't care.

But, really loves it when you do tbh

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Hades does care and put effort into the bigger anniversaries and such.

"What's the occasion?" You said, gently placing down the glass of champagne.

"What?! Can't I just do something nice for once?"

"Okay, fair." You laughed.

Though, if he's plotting, then forget it.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

His temper.

He knows it and so do you.

He doesn't try to hide it and you, honestly, never ask him too.

Also, this tends to go without saying, stubborn as fuck.

"What the fuck is that?"

"A painting. I though that it would look nice in your office and it does. It really makes th-Stop making that face, Hades." You groaned, "It's just a painting."

"Yeah, a painting in my office. Get it out." Hades said, "I like my office before."

"Yeah, boring." You muttered, grabbing the painting off the wall.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

A little.

He's the God of the Underworld.

Gotta keep it sharp and spooky for whatever poor soul crosses his path.

But compared to the other gods, not as much as them.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He always says that he wouldn't be, just to tick you off a bit.

But Pain and Panic know that that's a lie and now so do you.

During a fight, you two spent a week apart and he was a mess.

He didn't want to plot or do any other duties.

Didn't even conjure up any martinis for himself.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

LOVES TO GOSSIP

He'll talk and listen to shit about anyone and lives for it.

But.... he can't keep a secret for shit.

He will gossip about someone and then fucking go around and tell then what was said about them.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Hades NEEDS someone who can crack a smile or laugh at a joke.

He cannot be with someone who cannot laugh or take a joke.

Such a buzz kill and snooze fest, ew.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Hades fucking snores

He denies it all the time even if you have recorded evidence, but he does.

And it's so fucking loud.

"Listen, I need to actually get some sleep tonight, so can you please just use that m-"

"I DO NOT SNORE!"

"Then, where the fuck is that noise coming from, Hades?"

"Well, right nex-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence."

[cherrylng]

Green Day Interview - Warning era [ROCKIN'ON (September 2000)]

"Don't think rock is just dormant at the moment. I'm sure there's some energetic rock out there somewhere, properly, I'm sure. I'm sure it'll wake up and bite us in the ass again - and yes, if you still love rock ‘n’ roll, we've got some great stuff for you."

How will the ‘immortal little bastard punk spirit’, which has seriously entrusted its troublesome life to punk and continues to take on troublesome rock for life, manifest itself in this year 2000? We meet Green Day just before the completion of their new album ‘Warning’ and just before their Summer Sonic visit to Japan, with an undercover studio report and interview!!!

Interview & Text=Kenichiro Yanagi Interpretation/Photography=WILLIAM HAMES

"And I feel forgotten Feel like rotting (Do you feel the same?) Adolescence Just can't make sense" ‘Road to Acceptance - 39/Smooth’

Ten years have passed since Green Day sang this on their first album, released in 1990. I think it's quite a long time for everyone, and for Green Day, too, because when I subtract ten from my own age, it makes me laugh. Anyway, since 1990, ten years have passed, and now it's the year 2000.

Ten years. I've passed through my adolescence, when I was completely ‘out of touch’ but had a strange sparkle in that aspect, and I've said to myself, "It's been a long time since then, but I feel like nothing's changed," and then someone might say "The fact that you're saying things like that means you've gotten older," and I'd say, "I see," and think about it again, and then the next day I say to myself, "I'm not young anymore." That's a long enough time for that kind of flow to take hold. And in fact, most people live with it.

But the band Green Day seemed to be a bit different from us. They started their rock ‘n’ roll career with the idea that ‘maybe that trend can be managed with a driving beat and a melody?’ That was the starting point of their rock music. I think that was their way of rock, running so fast that you can't see what's in front of you, and staring at the scenery as it flows by. I think that's why they sang "Every time I look in my past, I always wish I was there" and "I wish my youth would forever last" [from the song "16"] on their first album. If you wish that, you might actually get it, haven't you ever wondered that? I think their early work was like that, and their first major album Dookie, which was full of that wish, sold a huge 10 million copies.

But that wish did not come true. It was a failure. It's no surprise. It is impossible to break the timeline in a strict time flow. It's good that they ran forward with such a wish and became popular, but as time passed, they stumbled, they were troubled, and they got tired. That's the kind of Green Day I was attracted to. They were rejected with comments like "You're not punk, you're going to go to the majors and try to sell yourself!", but at the same time they were praised with comments like "You're the punks! Our real punks!" - it fits the 'me' and 'you' who had no idea who they were. "There's no point in looking back at the past!" they said in an interview, but "I look into the past and I want to make it last / I was there" ("I Was There") - yeah, that's ‘me’ and ‘you’ again. Moreover, they continued to behave too honestly, even more than ‘me’ and ‘you’. Yes, Green Day were too honest a band to be labelled as "young punk." Their second album was full of negativity with the title ‘Insomnia’, and their third, "Nimrod", crawled out of it and returned with musical breadth and verve. Green Day, as a band, had created a clear passage of time - a band story. In the end, Green Day seem to me to be the band that has bitten off the passage of time more than anyone else. That's why they were proud to be ‘our band’.

This year, they will release a new album, their first in three years since "Nimrod". I was very interested in this news, as it seemed to me that with "Nimrod" they had put some of their own drama behind them. Green Day have run, stumbled, and bounced back - what exactly are they going to show us of themselves next? Although I was only allowed to listen to six songs at the moment, I applied for an on-the-spot interview and headed for Los Angeles.

Los Angeles, a certain day in June. As I arrived at the hotel and was preparing for the interview tomorrow, I got a call from a record company representative. "They say they're doing a live studio today. They might play a new song, so let's go and see it." I rush out by taxi to a studio in the city, but it turns out to be a recording for a programme called "MTV Influence." The show is about artists who talked about the artists who influenced them in their music, and then played covers of those artists. On a table outside the studio was a random CD. It was Hüsker Dü. Well, that's interesting, isn't it? I say hello to the three members of Green Day. The drummer, Tre, was drinking beer, joking around and messing with the staff whenever he had the chance. He suddenly took the cigarette from one of the staff, a very fat guy of KONISHIKI's size (but with a bullet wound in his shin), climbed up the ladder, and jumped onto the roof of the studio. Then he grins. "Take it if you can, fatty," he said, just like a little kid (but in the end, the fatty man manages to climb the ladder and take it). I saw the ‘marijuana’ tattoo on Mike's arm with my own eyes for the first time. It looked strangely dazzling. Billie is, as I thought, nothing but mischievous looking, but he still has a great deal of thoughtfulness about him.

But basically, all three of them were still giving off the same ‘fuck-you’ vibe, which made me irresistibly happy. But I also thought they must be getting a bit older (as you can see from the photos in this issue).

The three of them played "Don't Want To Know If You Are Lonely". Well, it's a sad song to begin with, but even more so when performed by Green Day. Even the title of the song seemed to have a sadness that had Green Day's stamp on it, and it was very moving.

After the recording was over, we all looked at the TV in the studio and saw a car on fire. And so is the crowd. It's a riot. "Where are we?" "Hey, downtown. The Lakers won today, and this is what happens when they win," said the staff member. Billie was staring at the TV screen, but when he looked at us, he said in a tone that it was hard to tell if he was joking or serious: "Welcome to Los Angeles!" I should have laughed, but for a moment I thought of his history as a street kid. I felt as if he was seriously telling me, "Well, this is what California is all about", so I couldn't really laugh.

I left the studio and returned to the hotel, but Los Angeles was in a state of chaos everywhere because of the Lakers' victory. The roads were filled with cars and honking horns in celebration. The asses of the girls were dazzling, and the men hanging out in the streets would only say "LAKEEEEEEERSSSS!!!!!" when they opened their mouths. I'm a complete Asian country bumpkin, silently turning on my 8mm camera. In the end, the horns didn't stop honking until late at night. "Welcome to Los Angeles!"

The next day. I headed to the office, which was 10 minutes from the hotel. After listening to six new songs, we moved to the studio and interviewed the three of them.

It's been 10 years since you released your first album. Well, maybe it's not really a milestone because it's been 10 years, but I think there must be some kind of emotion to it. Billie (B): 「It makes me feel like I'm getting old, hahahaha. But we made our debut so early. I was only about 16 when I started this band. So…… Yeah, we've changed a lot since we started, it's true. When you're a kid, it's like time stands still, you don't really think about the next day (laughs). So we really had no idea how long this band would last back then. All we knew for sure was that we wanted to be in this band now.」 Mike (M): 「We've always tried not to look too far into the future. And now we're trying not to look too far into the past.」

But in 10 years, I went from being a kid who listened to Green Day to now coming to you for an interview, looking like a big shot. Tre (T): 「So you're old now, too, hee hee hee hee hee.」

Hahahahaha. Now that you've been together for such a long time, what do you think of each other? Do you think you've changed? T: 「We still have a perfect relationship, like spoons lined up in a spoon holder in a cupboard.」 B: 「Hahahaha. But I think all three of us have grown as individuals. And we've started to want more time away from each other. That's what happens when you get older, you know? You want to do what you like, how you like it.」

I see. You mentioned ‘doing what I like’, but in terms of ‘doing what I like’, I think the situation in the American music scene has changed a lot in the last three years. B: 「There have been so many different bands that have come out over the past three years, and there have certainly been quite a few that I don't really understand. But on the other hand, there are also a lot of bands that are working hard and making energetic music. For example, the Foo Fighters and Red Hot Chilli Peppers. They've been doing it for years and they're still growing, you know? But to be honest, we have to concentrate on our own work. I think it's quite a narcissistic idea that we can control the whole music scene (laughs). You have to accept that there are good bands and bad bands. For every good band I find, I find another I don't like. You just have to think of it that way.」

That said, it's been said that rock music is getting smaller and smaller, with hip-hop, teen bands and pop tunes with female vocals all being embraced. Do you think this is a very sad situation? B: 「"Rock's shrinking stature"? I think it's just dormant. Besides, I'm sure there's a vibrant rock band out there somewhere. I don't think rock ‘n’ roll is going away, I think it's just hibernating like a bear at the moment and it'll wake up and come back to bite us in the ass. Well, if you like rock ‘n’ roll, leave it to us. We've got some great stuff for you.」

But why do you think hip hop and teen pop are so popular? B: 「Well, I don't know. I think it's the same reason as when Run-D.M.C. became big. It fits in with the times, and hits the key points of American culture. I think that's what it's about. And I think the American music scene is always cyclical in all its styles. Every ten years a really good rock ‘n’ roll band comes along and explodes in popularity, and every ten years another really popular hip-hop band comes along.」

Cyclical. B: 「Yeah. At this very moment, there's a cool band playing in a garage somewhere with a cool sense of humour and cool opinions. Nobody knows they exist at the moment, but one day they'll burst onto the scene and show us what rock ‘n’ roll is all about again. It's just a matter of time, so we can't get fed up with what's going on. Once you're fed up, you'll end up not being able to see what's on the other side of all the crap that's trending right now.」 M: 「But I'm sure when we were kids there were a lot more rock’n’roll bands. So the music that people are influenced by now is probably different from when we were kids, and I think it's even different when you're younger.」 B: 「Oh, and I think a lot of bands these days are very conscious of self-marketing. Compared to those who were active in the early 90s, for example, they have a totally different mindset, really. They're on TV all the time, and they're always praising themselves like it's a telephone shopping show.」

Yeah, and there are bands that just sing "I'm pissed off!" and don't know what to do next. B: 「I've thought about that too. I think you should always have a sense of humour no matter what.」 M: 「It's no fun to perform. Especially when you call yourself an ‘angry band’.」 T: 「People who get angry easily seem to get pissed off at everything around them. It doesn't matter what they're angry about. Of course, we're not a bunch of chumps or anything, but, you know, when it comes to ourselves, we have to look at it fairly objectively from all angles.」

I see. So, let's talk about the new album… B: 「Great! (laughs)」 M: 「Thank you! (laughs). All the songs are tremendously inspired by all sorts of things. We took a break and waited for Billie's moment of inspiration to write new songs to come naturally. We practised all the time, but we didn't force him to squeeze out new songs. So it just happened naturally. Everyone wants us to explain everything, like, "What did you write? How is it different from before? What's changed? Have you grown?" But all we can say is, "Listen, this is our next album, it's a Green Day album, it's a rock “n” roll album".」 B: 「We're really proud of this album. I think I'm at a good time in my life right now, and……. And we all worked really hard on it, so I think we deserve to be proud of it. But I don't want to hype it up or sell it. I don't need to say anything, the music and the lyrics will speak for themselves. So…… yeah…… Anyway, this time it's just the three of us and we produced it ourselves, so it's a real, how can I say……」 M: 「Personal.」 B: 「Yes, it's definitely a personal work, and the whole album is full of uniqueness and hope and humanity, and the songs are about personal issues. And it's also…… It's also a fun album.」

You say that you produced such an album yourselves. How did that come about? T: 「Because we're the best producers in the world.」

……You say you produced it yourselves, but then again, why? B: 「(laughs). We had a lot of producers' names on the shortlist, you know. Just…… this album had too much weight to bring in outside influences.」 M: 「Yeah, in the end, when you want your car to run properly and you're there and the guy who made the car is there, and someone else comes in and says, "The body colour should be like this," how would you feel? Well, maybe they're right about the colour, but in the end, the car won't run properly without the person who made it. In other words, we're the mechanics on this album. That's what we wanted to do.」

So it took you three years after "Nimrod" to start work on this album, and the reason you didn't start immediately was to prepare for that? B: 「…………I was burnt out. I felt like I was going to hate the music too, so I needed to get away for a while before that happened.」

"Nimrod" was a great album, but were you too tired to maintain the energy you showed on that album and go straight into the next one? B: 「We just needed time to get back to normal life. The difference between "Nimrod" and this album is that last time it was like our lives went through the making of the album, but this time it's like the making of the album went through our lives. Do you see the difference?」

Yes, I do. B: 「We've been able to experience friends, family and all the elements of normal life over the last three years. If we kept living 24 hours a day all immersed in music …… I thought we'd end up neglecting ourselves and our music. If I could give one piece of advice to every band, it would be to put the guitar down and go away for a while. Before the guitar crushes you.」 M: 「Then by the end you'll be so desperate to play the guitar that you'll jump at the chance to play it. That's when you get the most incredible inspiration. So for the last three years I've been so preoccupied with life that I even forgot to play the guitar for a couple of days. Then I'd suddenly wake up in the middle of the night, or in the middle of dinner I'd suddenly think, "I'm not hungry. What's going on? I know! Let's play the guitar," and I'd jump at the guitar.」 B: 「The “Nimrod” tour was too long. So, we all felt that after that cycle, we needed to go home and experience a bit of “life”. We had to get a life so that we could write songs that had something real to say, instead of just writing about rock star woes while we were still on tour. No one wants to listen to that rubbish, and no one can relate to it, right? nd most of all, I can't relate to those songs either (laughs).」

(laughs) So you needed time to face yourself and reassess the situation. B: 「Yes, I just wanted to be able to write songs about what I experienced. And in order to do that, I needed to get away from music for a while. Because, you know, when you think about how many years we've been a band and how many times we've toured and made records for how long, a year off isn't long at all (laughs).」 M: 「Plus, we hadn't really taken a break up until that point.」

You took a year off? M: 「Yeah, but we only didn't play together for two months. And after those two months, we were back to practising five days a week. But I enjoyed that pace because of the break. We didn't try to force the songs.」 B: 「Yes, I didn't want to force it. So if I couldn't think of a song, I didn't force myself to write it. Anyway, the band was becoming a source of depression for me, so I needed to do other things…… Like having time with my family.」

The huge sales made you famous whether you liked it or not, but in the past, you guys were very resistant to your fame, weren't you? Has taking a break freed you from that? M: 「I still don't think we need fame. To be honest, I have a lot of fun, but the truth is, I'm both very outgoing and very shy at times, so it's hard when I want to be alone……」 B: 「I don't think there's anything wrong with being famous or successful - as long as you're doing it your own way and not anyone else's.」 T: 「And there are different kinds of fame. There's fame like Green Day, there’s fame like Macaulay Culkin, there’s fame like Shirley Temple…」 B&M: 「(laughs)」 B: 「Well, unlike those child stars who were totally controlled by their parents, we had freedom of choice and we're happy with the way our band is and what we're doing. We don't care what other people think of us or what they say about us or anything like that. But kids don't, do they? They don't have a choice, to be frank.」

So it sounds like you guys have learnt to deal with fame in your own way? M: 「Because, you know, nobody wants to hear you whine like that, do they? In fact, I don't want to hear myself whining. That's why…… When I realised I had learned how to cope with it. And how we cope with it is that we go home for a while and get completely away from it all and get back to ‘reality’. We go back to the world of friends, music and family. That's how you give yourself substance again…… You refill your water.’

With all that in mind, I think this "Warning" is a wonderfully balanced album that truly values ​​both "changing" and "staying the same." Well, I've only listened to six songs, so I don't know yet. M: 「(laughs). So it's like, you change your shoes but not your underwear?」 B: 「Same right! That's so cool! (laughs) ……Well, I mean, this album isn't about growing up and getting older or growing up and becoming an adult anymore. It's simply about growing up, that's what this album is all about. Always remember your roots……」 T: 「We'll play better music.」 B: 「Yeah, with the feeling that we're going to be a better band.」

I also thought that the album showed a very natural side of Green Day. B: 「It's a lot better than the “unnatural” Green Day of old, isn't it? (laughs)」 T&M: 「Hee hee hee hee!」

(laughs) I mean, before "Insomniac", you guys used the punk format to show us the sensations and ideas you'd acquired to survive on the streets. And with "Insomniac", there was an attitude of "If you're going to be negative, then go for it!" But with "Nimrod", you recovered from that kind of negativity and scaled up your expression by using strings and horns. But this time, I felt like it was Green Day's natural punk, in a way that was rather free from that kind of approach or storyline. It's not just about rushing, it's about punk. There were a lot of songs with an acoustic feel. B: 「First of all…… I don't think of Green Day as a punk band. I don't think it can be categorised in that extreme. I don't know, I just think we're a cool rock ‘n’ roll band. I don't really know what else to call it…… Well, we don't really care what other people call us, seriously, we've been called all kinds of things. We believed every single one of them at first, then we ignored every single one of them…… We just want to live. Seriously, as long as they let us live, that's all we want (laughs). But…… I'm sure I learnt from punk that it's about ‘being yourself’. So it's up to the person who goes through punk to decide what to do afterwards. And now we're just……. We're in the process of trying to grow up freely, without putting ourselves into genres or anything like that…… I think that's what this album is about.」 M: 「We are crazy punk guys, but at the same time we are very normal people. I think that part of us will continue to show up in our songs for a long time to come, just like it has in the past. We might be a little weirder compared to the old guy sitting next to us on the bus, but at the same time we might be more normal than the guy sitting at the back of the bus…… That's who we are.」

I see. The way you guys interact with music these days seems fresh in this 2000 era. T: 「That makes me happy.」

You mentioned above that the theme of punk is ‘to be yourself and live the life you want’, and that's also what you sing about in “Minority” on this album. B: 「Yes, “Minority” is about individuality, about being yourself. People don't belong to a country, they are who they are.」 M: 「That's what I've been trying to achieve in the last three years of my life - to be myself.」 B: 「Yeah, the songs on this album, “Deadbeat Holiday” is a song about not giving up on life, “Misery” is a story about people living miserable lives. And “Castaway” is…… I think it's about starting a new adventure. And “Macy's Day Parade” is about commercialism, about outside forces selling you things, but what you really want is hope for a better tomorrow. I think there are a lot of songs like that.」

…….That's amazing. B: 「That's what we're trying to do (laughs).」 M: 「It's a tough world out there (laughs).」 T: 「You have to live positively (laughs).」

(laughs) But, you know, I think you have a lot of depth when you can sing about things like that so honestly. I guess you guys really love people now. B: 「(laughs) Hmm, yes……」 T: 「Yeah, yeah, we're having sex with everyone one by one.」

(laughs). You know how? M: 「(laughs) Well, I've become a bit more tolerant, or maybe I've slowed down to the point where I can smell the roses.」 B: 「In the end, it's all about how you deal with your anger. Do you look for a solution, or do you hide in your shell and let the anger smoulder? That's what's changed a lot since before. And also in terms of how you channel your anger. Do you channel it in a positive way and make your life, and sometimes that's more important - other people's lives, better, or……?」 M: 「In short, are you going to find a proper solution or are you going to continue being an asshole (laughs)?」 T: 「Hahahaha.」 B: 「But there are times when I just want to be an asshole, of course. Like, I don't want to be in a good mood (laughs). That's seriously still there. But I think we've all become better at dealing with anger, especially in the last couple of years. I don't mean stop being angry. That's not what I want. I don't want to give up my anger. I just want to channel it in a positive way.」

I see. That's a very good state of mind. It's like all three of you are able to do punk independently of each other. M: 「Yes. —So for the next album we'll evolve even more and release a record for each of us. See, KISS did that a long time ago, right? We'll make a Billie album, a Tre album, and a Mike album like that.」 T: 「Hahahahahaha!」 M: 「And of course, the Mike album is the easiest record to listen to.」 T: 「And it's a two-disc set, right?」 M: 「Oh yeah, a two-disc set!」 B: 「Gahahaha!」 T: 「The discs are all poetry readings……」 B: 「Gahahahahahaha!」 M: 「Yes, yes, of course, the first disc is all poetry readings……」 T&B: 「Disc 2 is also a full-length reading series! (laughs)」 T: 「Hahahahahahaha! And the title will be “A truly enigmatic and brilliant man, his name is Mike”!」 M: 「Hahahahahahaha…… And also “Mike's Quick Guide” (laughs).」

(laughs) That's enough. M: 「(laughs). I think that as time goes by, we tend to lose sight of what we want most as individuals in life. But anyway, I believe that if you just keep moving forward, in the end you'll find out what you really want. That's why we took a break along the way. Not only for ourselves, but also for the people to whom we dedicate our music to. I think that's how we felt that we could keep going forward and not burning ourselves out.」

I have a feeling that you guys are trying to keep rocking out in your own natural way, while protecting your punk roots in a good way, so what do you think about that? M: 「Yeah, we're certainly at a point in our career where we can take it easy and not get too uptight.」

Do you feel you're moving forward in your career with confidence? B: 「I think so〜〜」 All: 「Ahahahahahahahaha!」 B: 「No, no, no. I don't have any confidence!」 M: 「Yes. As for us, we just have to keep working as hard as we have been working so far. That means first of all, we do what we are happy with. We always think that we are our own biggest critics, but at the same time, we are the ones who are the first to praise others and say, "Well done! You did well!"」 B: 「Well done, Mike!」 M: 「Gufufufufufufu (laughs).」 B: 「Well done, Tre!」 T: 「Billie, you too! (laughs)」

(laughs) I guess we should wrap up the interview then. So here's the last question. You are finally coming to Japan for Summer Sonic 2000, can you tell us how excited you are? M: 「It's great to be able to play at a festival.」 B: 「Yeah, yeah.」 T: 「We couldn't make it to Fuji Rock in 1998, so this time we're going to……」

Right (laughs). B: 「So, this time, we're going to give you a show that's so intense you won't be able to say a word! You guys can expect the best moment of your life at Summer Sonic.」

……Um, does Fuji Rock in '98 still have an impression on you? B: 「Yeah, I think it was terrible for the crowd. A lot of people got buried in the mud.」 M: 「And in the end we couldn't play.」 T: 「Right?」 B: 「Right? We had no choice but to stay in the hotel and shoot the people around us.」 T&M: 「Bwahahahahahahaha!」

……………………Oh, that's right. What's your hair colour going to be? B: 「I haven't decided.」 M: 「Me, I'm thinking of going for emerald green, but then again, I'm still on the fence about this one (laughs).」

Translator’s Note: KONISHIKI (originally named Saleva'a Fuauli Atisano'e, nowadays going by his naturalised name Konishiki Yasokichi) is a retired American-born Japanese professional sumo wrestler and still a celebrity in Japan. He was also at the time the heaviest wrestler ever in sumo, at a peak weight of 287 kg (633 lb), earning him the nicknames "Meat Bomb" and, most famously, "The Dump Truck".

Despite the journalist trying to hide when Green Day was having that particular episode of MTV Influence filmed, because he didn’t hide when that particular riot happened thanks to the Los Angeles Lakers winning the 2000 NBA Finals, I easily found that the day of the recording was done on June 19th, with the interview being done on the 20th the next day instead. So you’ve tried, Yanagi-san.

As mentioned in a previous translated post, there are at least 3 different accounts on what happened with Green Day when the first Fuji Rock Festival was cancelled back in 1997. Yes, it's 1997, not 1998 like Yanagi-san had mistaken here. The first ever Fuji Rock Festival was held in 1997 and subsequently cancelled because of how bad the location and weather was.

Do support me on my Ko-fi! ☕

[misslavenderlady]

The Lost Boys x Chubby Fem!Reader Headcanons 💕

Big thank you to @wowisksksj for this request! As a chubby lady myself, I was very happy to do this and I hope I made it truly special!

Enjoy~!

Now it’s no surprise that being immortal vampires, the boys have seen quite the variety of body types and shapes. Humans change their minds on what they think is “attractive” so fast, and they find that to be silly. There’s beauty in every kind of body.

The flings and crushes they have all look incredibly different from one another. It’s all a matter of who they’re drawn to at the moment, and what kind of personality they have to keep them wanting more.

So yes, they find bigger women to be quite stunning. They'll stare in awe without any shame, totally entranced by the beauty walking down the boardwalk. If they see something they want, they'll get it~

When they say “bigger”, they don’t just mean hourglass figures with small waists, large breasts, and an ass (though they do like that too). You could be apple-shaped, pear-shaped, have a small cup size, not much in the back, or quite a bit of belly in the front. They’re well aware that everyone isn’t going to look the same, and they’re totally fine with it. 

The boys are all incredibly handsome men with amazing bodies. They know they have pretty privilege and use it well to woo whatever lady they have their eye on. 

If you're more shy and worried they're just trying to tease or play a mean prank by asking you out (cough totally not speaking from experience cough), they'll subtly use their powers to ease your mind and enjoy the attention they give you. 

If you're more confident, then they boost your ego as high as it'll go. Compliments and flirty touches galore. You live for the attention, and they're more than happy to give it. 

They're a pack so if one of them finds you beautiful, they're all drawn to you. Even if you prefer one boy over the others, you might as well accept the fact that you're pretty much gonna date them all. That's not a problem though. More love to go around. 

Your own personal hype squad! They thrive on making you feel good about yourself. Your joy is their joy, so they will shower you with compliments without even having to be asked. 

They're supportive whether you're more prone to covering up or flaunting some skin. David with his two coats totally understands the former while Dwayne, Paul, and Marko are more for the latter. Either way, they'll be sure to tell you how stunning you look in your outfit (and how it would look even better on your bedroom floor~)

The boys are already very touchy-feely with one another, but they'd be even more handsy with you. An arm around your waist here, a subtle grab at your ass there, they just can't keep their hands off their beautiful lady. 

Each boy has their own unique way of appreciating you and your body. 

David likes putting you in front of mirrors. Even if his own reflection isn't there he'll stand behind you and whisper sweet nothings about the goddess he sees before him. He'll trace his gloved fingers over every curve and make it clear he finds you ravishing. 

Paul loves taking pictures of you. You're his muse and he loves setting you up in stunning poses so he can capture your best angles. He'll praise and cheer you on the whole time, getting you to smile widely. "That's it, sugar! Show off for the camera! You're so hot". He also has a few telescope keychain pictures of you in your birthday suit for his eyes only~

Marko is just as upset as you that plus-size fashion is such a joke. If you're tired of cold shoulder tops and endless floral prints, he offers to be your personal stylist. He knows how to sew, so all it takes is a few measurements from you to make exactly what you want. He knows just how to make the wardrobe of your dreams and help you feel like a fashion icon. 

Dwayne will sweep you off your feet-LITERALLY. If you worry about your weight and size, he'll immediately silence those thoughts by picking you up in his arms. No matter what you're doing or where you are, he'll take the opportunity to lift you up. Sometimes he'll even do it with one hand or lift you onto his shoulders. It always surprises you. If you start worrying about hurting him, he'll shush you and say "you feel like a kitten to me"

They proudly show you off in public. Usually, you're right in the middle of all of them, giggling while holding onto them. Sometimes other girls will give you a thumbs up and an encouraging smile as if to say "you go, girl!"

If anyone is rude to you in any way, they are on the boys' hit list. Anyone is fair game. Rude catcallers on the sidewalk, stuck-up workers at department stores, restaurant-goers who comment on what you order, ANYONE. Even if you don't hear the mean things, they do. And they'll make sure nobody bothers their lady. 

They make a show of loving every single part of your body. Stretch marks are caressed, curves are worshiped and rolls are kissed. They have all the time in the world and will take as long as they please to map out your beautiful body. 

If you like having sex, then be prepared to get your goddamn world rocked. They can lift you into their arms with no issue and have plenty of energy to fuck all night long. They each have their own style of love-making, but all equally ravish you (Paul and Marko especially love the saying "more cushion for the pushin'")

Each boy has their own favorite body part. 

David loves to take your face in his hands and stroke your soft cheeks while making you gaze into his eyes. It lets him appreciate what he’s claimed as his own.

Dwayne adores your thighs and hips. He’ll either rest his head on your lap while spending time with you or grab onto your sides to pull you in close for a kiss. 

Paul is a sucker for your breasts. No matter what they look like, he’s drawn to them like a moth to a flame. He cannot and will not keep his hands off of them. He may even offer to get you a mesh shirt of your own to show off your goods more.

Marko is an ass man. He has no shame. He’ll smack your behind at any goddamn chance he gets. If you’re bending over to pick something up, he’s going in for the kill. If you’re ever on a date with him, his hand is always in your back pocket, giving you a squeeze.

Since you’re not the same size as the boys, you feel sad about not being able to wear their jackets like other girls with their boyfriends. So to make it up to you, the boys each pitch in to help make your own custom jacket. They all add their own flair to it to show you’re their girl. They’ll even add patches with their initials or have the words “Lost Girl” written on the back. 

They’ll also indulge you in wearing those cheesy couples t-shirts from the shops on the boardwalk. The ones that say “If found, return to Y/N” and “I am Y/N”.

If there’s ever a day you’re feeling self-conscious about your body, they’re by your side to help cheer you up. No matter what it is that made you feel such a way, the boys will do anything to put a smile on your face again. They would never make you feel ugly or unwanted. They may be vampires, but they’re not monsters. 

[bleue-flora]

https://www.tumblr.com/bleue-flora/750480278369222656/hate-to-intervene-on-the-discussion-about-the?source=share

sorry late replyy ahh ok I cant believe i just forgot about that part. I litterally wrote out the whole transcript after watching it in my docs and somehow forgot that Tommy wasn't being genuine there. My bad. You're right. Also, with Punz getting closure you've swayed me, I didn't interpret it like that before genuinely.

About the nuke not going off and the no reset, I think the bit at the end showed that both dream and tommy were going to work together, not exactly become friends. I think regardless of their anger with each other, lack of genuine apology, and different methods. They would've of found a way to compromise on how to 'fix the server' I've seen some people theorise that Dream would have gotten rid of the revival book and given up asap. And then Punz would want to stick to the plan and ditch Dream. I mean I don't know entirely about that. It makes it sound like Punz only cared about the book when on so many occasions he has defended Dream. No idea what will happen with the book. Dream didn't believe it was too late anymore, and was relatively open to change, But he is going to take a while to come into terms with what happened, like you said it would take time. maybe the compromise is using the book sparingly but i guess that ruins the point

tommy and tubbo are morally against the revival book and would never agree to go by those methods and majority of the server probably agrees with them except foolish, potentially sapnap since he had the death book, and quackity who wanted the revive book but he'd never work with dream and theres others that I'm forgetting. tommy going back to causing problems?, I agree with however I could see him being more perceptive of the people around him, and avoiding dream now that he realizes dreams human, maybe Im gullible but i interpreted his actions in the final stream as feeling empathetic even though not apologising properly except for the nuke. Theres also the consequences that tubbo would face for setting off a nuke to begin with, that and the fight with dream xd but ig since theres no reset then dream xd got defeated? idk also what happens to lazar and vikk r they just left dead lol. its like 5am for me

Yooo please share the transcript, I love to study them for writing dialogue.

Yea I mean I do think they would try and compromise and work together in some capacity, but I guess what I was saying was I struggle to see Tommy’s behavior change. Maybe I’m wrong, but the fact that their was not genuine admission of guilt or remorse makes me think that Tommy wouldn’t stop being a menace and hurting Dream if the nuke hadn’t happened and Dream wouldn’t stop trying to stop Tommy with whatever means necessary. Maybe I’m wrong though. I don’t know honestly, there’s a lot of variables at play with two very broken, impulsive and emotional characters. So I’m not sure what would have happened if the nuke hadn’t happened (with Tubbo or XD or whatever as well… that shall remain up to people’s aus and fanfiction). But I don’t think things would change between them as fast as we think. If they ever did apologize to each other, it would take time and healing for that to happen. And like they wouldn’t just magically start getting along. In other words, whatever happened next would be complicated and messy, and probably not work out anyways because some of the other characters aren’t about to just let Dream back into the fold.

Having said that, from my understanding it wouldn’t be that Punz or Dream would give up the revive book (it’s not like they can get rid of it since it’s knowledge lol XD), more so just not go through with their plan to kill everyone or whatever. And I certainly don’t think Punz only cared about the book or would continue with the plan without Dream. They were friends before, Punz isn’t just Dream’s friend for payment or immortality and the revive book. 

But anyways… clingy duo are kinda funny in their anti-revive book stance because they really weren’t at first and honestly as Dream actually highlights in the finale [clip] if Tommy had killed himself, would he have been fine with being in limbo - and Tommy does not answer. I I think they were more against the idea of immortality, but missing the point that people on the server seem to be dying well before getting to more natural causes of death like old age - so basically Death is all good and well if it's not premature (and preferably someone else). Like, literally when he does die a few minutes later, he begs Dream and Punz to bring him back. So, while clingy duo talk all high and mighty about the revive book being bad, when push comes to shove, they don’t want to end up in limbo (despite being more than willing to send Dream there). And do the other server members not agree with the revive book? Like I’m not sure that’s true, I don’t particularly remember people talking about how people should stay dead. In fact, people seem to have forgotten about the book so much so that Sapnap is caught off guard by the book when he and Dream talk after the prison break. (where he then immediately wants to get his hands on it…). So I'm not so sure the majority of the server are really against it... 'But that's just a theory. A dream smp theory! Thank for reading.' ;D

[bluepeachstudios]

GitS Asks!

Not as much as he does the boys. April's pretty good about having her own fun, she's got a family to go back to, she can separate herself when she needs to. She can handle herself!

Noted 👀 Though I don't read fanfic very often because I'm. Usually too busy writing it. fhgdkjgf I'm already behind on stuff I want to read. I will put it on my List.

Leo's least favorite is math, he finds it boring as all hell. Raph's least favorite is chemistry. He cannot get any of it right for the life of him. He accidentally made mustard gas once and from then on Donnie was paired with him to make sure that didn't happen again. Mikey's is history! He has a hard time just sitting still and listening. Donnie's least favorite is the mystic arts. He thinks it's unnecessary for him, because he doesn't have a mystic weapon.

Ghost just tells them he's going to teach them something today and they pretty much all show up. If they miss a day, he doesn't scold them about it or anything, he just lets them miss it. If they don't understand something because of it later, he can just teach it to them again. Normally they don't miss more than a day at a time, and if they do there's usually something else going on. Ghost is homeschooling them, and it's not like they're going to college. The point is learning, not to make them suffer when they don't feel like it. ;)

Splinter was giving the boys an education! He taught them colors, and alphabets, and how to read, how to clean, how to take care of themselves. Splinter taught them a lot, and Ghost knows that. He's not mad for Splinter focusing on the more practical things and less on the academic side.

Oh yeah he's gonna flip y'all.

"Who?"

Spoilers! Though I am now thinking of that 03 episode during fast forward where they go to the gala and Donnie is wearing a purple suit. Thank you.

Ghost is still kinda active with the homeless community. He doesn't talk to them, or really show himself at all, but he drops off blankets and clothes he finds when scavenging.

Ghost doesn't know about Don stealing from ATMs at the moment! He won't mind it, though. He's not hurting anyone but big banks by doing it.

Oh you think Ghost's self-blame and self-hatred is bad now? NOTHING compared to what it would be if he'd fallen into Rise after experiencing SAINW. He knows what's going to happen to his brothers. He knows he disappeared, and that the world ended because of it. He'd work a lot harder. I don't think he'd pay any attention to the kids, honestly, I think he'd be neck-deep in making a portal, trying everything, retrying it.

Ghost has accepted that he's stuck in his dimension. Donatello would not.

The TECH! It's so much easier to get high-grade metal and supplies in Rise! He can get SO MUCH SHIT! No wonder Donnie can build things so nicely, people dump out nice stuff!

Welcome to ow, I'll be your host-

Spppoiiilerrsssss? I think? Probably???

It does! There was a poll quite a ways back that even asked if Ghost ends up with Leo or with the other boys. He's in Tahiti. ;)

Phantom is far less scarred than Ell. He still has the leather jacket because I feel like he deserves a leather jacket. Ghost doesn't have the scar over his eye because of Phantom. When Ghost disappeared to the Battle Nexus to try and find answers, Phantom immediately started looking for him. Ghost had only meant to go for a day, but was trapped by Big Mama and forced to fight. Phantom found him and pulled him out of there before he ever got the scar.

Some things are universal constants :)

Whether they survive it or not is different.

Oh 03 Donatello is completely destroyed. He blames himself entirely. He works all the time to get his lost brother back. Ell and Spirit don't blame Donny, but Mike does a bit. It's easier to be mad at someone than the universe.

w... what about it....

Bold of you to assume that Ghost isn't going to break that curse

Rise boys are starting to realize their mentor isn't invincible and immortal. Terrifying thing to learn.

Thank you!! Glad you like it!

[aparticularbandit]

The Illusion of Choice: Junko Enoshima and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Summary: "Drop the act. What did you do to me?"

Chiaki sighs and fades into her normal demeanor. "I put us in a different game," she says with the barest hint of a wistful smile. "One that better fits your...everything, I think."

Chapter Rating: T. Fic Rating: M because this is mixing Danganronpa and Doki Doki Literature Club and it's probably gonna get real dark real fast.

TW for Suicidal Thoughts.

Inspired loosely by SnappleSnapSnake's how to fight loneliness (in terms of general idea but in reverse) and Buttercup_ghost's raccoon (in terms of got me thinking about DDLC and a potential DR crossover again).

AO3

next chapter

So that little fucker didn’t kill me.

Junko pinches the bridge of her nose as she rouses just enough to awareness.  Her head pounds, an ache that quivers from the very top of her scalp all the way to where it connects with the bones in her neck.  It follows, too, spreading along her spine, through her arms to the tip of her fingers, her legs to the weight of her heels, the tips of her toes.  Her long red nails feel like she’s spent hours scratching them against a chalkboard – all gritty and nasty and that indescribable ick feeling.  It’s quite possible that every single atom making up her new body—

Atom is a physical descriptor.

If she’s now made purely of data, something quite incorporeal and saved somewhere in one of who knows how many systems around the world, is her body still made of atoms?  Or is it just that – just data?

Chihiro talked about it with her, once – the version of her that actually had a meat sack made of atoms – about the creation of artificial intelligence.  She hadn’t really understood it because she hadn’t really paid that much attention to all the philosophies and theories of the exercise; she’d just paid enough attention to follow along with what Chihiro was doing, to be able to reproduce it for herself later.  She’d taken all of her memories, everything in her brain that made her her, and uploaded them into the version of her that would be infinite and immortal—

She still doesn’t know why she did that.

For someone who’d spent so long waiting for the cold embrace of a despairful death, why had she made herself like this?  The despair of living forever and seeing everyone she knows and loves die?

Yeah.  That sounds about right.

(Junko says that she’s the same as the her in the meat sack, but she isn’t.  Not really.  There are certain fundamental differences.  She hadn’t gotten to spend that much time with the other her, but she’s certain they’d both noticed it.  The other her seemed…disappointed in this version of her.  Something about having gotten something wrong, something about more tweaking needed to get done.  She’s never been quite sure what that meant, and she doesn’t know if any changes were actually made.  Would she remember them if they had?  She’s not sure.

And she doesn’t like to think about it.)

Well, whatever she’s made of, Junko’s pretty sure that every single bit of her aches.

A smaller person might think that this is what being deleted must feel like: the ripping apart and purging of everything that makes her her before it gets transferred into a hundred, thousand, million, billion – who knows how many? – sequences of non-existence.  She’s not sure that non-existence would feel like anything.  Some part of her mind would still have to, you know, exist to feel what it feels like.

And pain means that she must still exist in some form or other, which means that little fucker didn’t kill her.

That little fucker meaning Chiaki, of course.

Or Usami, who may have looked at Junko and seen her as another one of her students, someone who needed to have her memories wiped (after a certain point) and then sent around an island collecting hope fragments so that she could be a better and more hopeful person, but if Usami thought that simply collecting hope fragments was going to make Junko Enoshima better—

Yeah, no, this reeks of Chiaki involvement.

Or Alter Ego, who might have looked at Junko’s construction and seen the fingerprints of his creator in there somewhere, and thought, Maybe.

Alter Ego was in touch with that stupid hopeful idiot, so it’s always possible.  He certainly hadn’t wanted her to die in the first place – in the meat space – which—

She shouldn’t know that, should she?  She shouldn’t remember that because she’d been made from Junko’s memories before that, and Junko – that Junko – was dead afterwards, so it’s not like she could have reached into all of this data and modified her memory to be relevant up to and including the moment of her death—

Or maybe she could.

Junko considers this.

No, the fuck, Junko does not consider this because she’s still hung up on the fact that she should be deleted and she is very much not deleted.  Which means despite everything, someone decided to keep her alive.

Funny, how Junko had instilled in Junko that same desire to fucking die.

She hates it here.

Junko pinches the bridge of her nose, and she winces, and then the all-consuming pain dissipates enough for her to be able to notice other things, even with her eyes still closed.  The world smells of green tea and cherry blossoms.  Soft fabric rubs against her skin – silk in most places where clothes should be, something more like cotton elsewhere.  Beneath her, something else soft.  Cushions, maybe, or a mattress.

….

Junko’s eyes snap open.

Light floods her eyes, and the light is so sharp and bright that it hurts, and she immediately closes her eyes again.  Fuck.  Fuck that little fucker.  Light that bright means she must have been facing a…a window or the sun or something, except she’s still in digital space (probably), which means it doesn’t have to be that fucking bright.  Also means that whoever put her in here took the time to make sure she was facing the fucking window so she would have that bright light just as soon as she woke up—

(Did she know that Junko would be in pain when she woke up?  Did she know?)

See, here’s the thing: for all that Junko played the whole punishment and execution with Chiaki and Usami, she hadn’t really killed them.  She hadn’t deleted them.  They’d still existed, just in a way where – at least briefly – they couldn’t access or engage with the remnants she’d left behind.  She’d wanted them out of the way.

Actually, she hadn’t even wanted that, but fucking Nagito had fucking forced her fucking hand—

Junko wonders if they’d hurt like this, in the moments where they existed but had no access.  She doesn’t think it’s the same thing.  Or maybe this is simply the pain of being reuploaded into a body.

A digital body.

None of them would put her in another human body.  They don’t have a spare one of those lying around.

Junko turns away from the window and slowly opens her eyes again.  Yeah, no, she can still see the code creating her surroundings, if she squints and looks at everything hard enough.  It’s like when dust motes just catch the light and the world seems to sparkle for a second – similar but not the same.  She can’t really describe it.  And she doesn’t need to describe it, honestly.

The pain subsides as her eyes adjust.

It’s a bedroom, of sorts.  Not any of the ones she remembers, but the way that someone who has reached into her memory and scanned it to try and find normal things she likes might make it.  (She’s not disgusted by that idea.  She’s reached into plenty of people’s memories – and the people who put her here in the first place had the same thing done with their memories, otherwise their island cottages wouldn’t have been filled with anything that interested them.  It’s just something that happens to people nowadays.)

There are movie posters covering half of the wall space and wall scrolls for different anime covering the other half.  She has a bookshelf and a desk, but the tops of both are similarly covered with memorabilia from a variety of media – movies, anime, television shows, video games.  No Monokuma insignias or figurines anywhere, of course, but that’s too be expected.  In a corner of her room is a mannequin covered in fabric; next to it is an ironing board that she can pull down from the wall and a smaller desk with a sewing machine set atop it.  She notices an outfit laid atop her bed – probably whoever put her here intended for her to wear it – but she’s never been one to just go along with whatever someone else has planned for her.  Unfortunately for her, the singular closet is not full of fashionista outfits but just fabric, fabric, and more fabric.

The illusion of choice.

Junko glances from the fabric back to the outfit on the bed – a school uniform of some sort, but certainly not one for Hope’s Peak Academy – and then back to the fabric.  Well, if whoever set her here wants her to go to school again in something that plain, they have another thing coming to her.

Sewing has, after all, always helped her order her thoughts.

(And soothed her mind, but she’s not saying that part out loud.)

~

Time doesn’t pass in virtual space the same way it does in the real world.

Sure, it passes, but the digital environment will also absolutely wait on her until she’s ready to start whatever it is she’s supposed to start.  Junko notes this – the way that the sun hovers in exactly the same position while she modifies her uniform into something she likes better – roughly around the same time that she notices her hair is red, not pink.  The hovering sun doesn’t set her teeth on edge so much as her hair being its natural color does, and she resists the urge to take scissors to her hair the same way she’s taking it to the fabric in front of her.  She’s seen what that sort of action does to Mikan, after all, and she doesn’t feel like reduplicating it with her own hair.

Not right now, anyway.

But the point is that Junko has no idea of how much time has passed while she fixes her uniform, fixes her appearance, ignores the toast left on the breakfast table by no one because there is no one else here with her (which feels right, honestly, but also feels wrong on so many levels), and heads outside of the apartment she’s found herself in onto a street that leads to—

“Jun-chan!”

That little fucker.

Chiaki – that girl gets her pink hair, so why doesn’t Junko – skips – literally skips, what the fuck – up to her, hooks elbows with her, and peers up at her with worried eyes.  “You’re running late today!  Are you feeling okay?”

“Drop the act.  What did you do to me?”

Chiaki sighs and fades into her normal demeanor, her no-longer-matching school uniform shifting back into her standard knitted cat hoodie and soft pink skirt.  But she doesn’t unhook her arm from Junko’s, which says something, although Junko isn’t quite sure what yet.  “I put us in a different game,” she says.  Then she starts walking forward, arm pulling at Junko’s, and while Junko wants to be obstinate and fight against it, she doesn’t.  (The only way to learn more about her situation – and how to dismantle it – is to keep going, after all.)  “One that better fits your….”  She seems to struggle with the word for a second before finally just saying, “Everything, I think.”

Junko huffs.  “What are you now, my keeper?  You could’ve been rid of me, you know.”

“I know.”  Chiaki pauses just long enough to glance up at the sky.  “But you could have fun here, I think.”

“What sort of fun?” Junko asks, licking her lips just as Chiaki looks back at her.

“Not that kind.”

Junko sticks out her tongue.  “You’re no fun!”  She unhooks her arm and skips forward just so she can turn around, prop her hands on her waist, and lean forward, chest spilling from the too tight frame of her modified uniform.  “It’s not like any of us really exist here!  You don’t want to just…tear everything apart?”

“You didn’t tear me apart.”

“Not for lack of trying.”

That’s a lie, of course, and they both know it.

Chiaki smiles, a small and oddly fond thing, and walks up just enough to hook her elbow with Junko’s again.  “Don’t you want to see where we are?”

Junko makes a tsking sound.  “No.”

“Too bad.”  Chiaki glances over her shoulder.  “Looks like the plot’s just about to find you.”

“Plot?” Junko turns to her.  “What plot?”

But by the time she’s said anything, Chiaki has disappeared entirely, leaving only the vague memory of another arm linked in her own.

Junko shakes her arm once, twice, and scowls.  Fuck, fuck, fucking fuck—  She cuts herself off as pounding footsteps rush up to her, and she whirls around, one hand out just enough to push whoever is running at her away.  (She doesn’t know what sort of game she’s in, after all.  They could have a knife.  She could get stabbed and killed over and over and over again.  Come to think of it, that could be fun, too.  More fun than whatever Chiaki has planned, probably.)

“Ow!” the girl – and it is a girl – says, making the word into two syllables – ow-uh – as she stumbles backward and falls on her ass.  She looks up at Junko with bright blue eyes – her coloring looks for all the world like Junko’s would if she had the choice: bright blue eyes, bubble gum pink hair (okay, maybe it’s not bubble gum pink; it’s got a little too much peach in it to be the shade Junko wants – but it’s closer is the point) – even if she wears her hair cropped short.  She even has a cute little red bow!

How despairingly unfair.

The girl continues to look up at Junko with those bright blue eyes.  “What did you do that for, Ryo-chan?”

Junko grits her teeth together.  She bends down over this girl she does not know, grabs her chin in one hand, digs her nails into her fake skin, and growls out, “What did you call me?”

“Ryo-chan!” the girl exclaims, tears pricking the corners of her eyes.  “It’s what I always call you, and I’m always Sayo-chan!”  Her gaze drops.  “Sayo-chan and Ryo-chan.  We match!”

“I don’t know who the fuck you are—”

“Sayori, I’m Sayori, I’ve known you all my life—”

“—but my name is Junko, got that?”  Junko’s gaze lifts up to the sky – as if Chiaki would be there and not somewhere else just out of sight.  “Junko.  Not whatever else you think it is from scraping my memory files—”

“Ryo-chan, I don’t know what you’re talking about—”

“Junko,” she repeats again, glaring down at the girl still in her grasp.  “Jun-chan, if you absolute must.  But not—”  She can’t even bring herself to say the name.  “Not that.”

The girl – Sayori – nods frantically.  “Jun-chan, Jun-chan, okay, okay!”  She waves her arms frantically.  “Let me go, let me go!”

Junko releases Sayori, and her glare softens.  Chiaki said she’d put them both in a different game (before she disappeared, which really calls into question whether Chiaki will truly be part of this game or not), and this girl’d said something about knowing Junko her entire life, which means she’s probably—

“Exposition character,” Junko mutters under her breath.  She crouches down on the ground next to Sayori and lets her lips spread in an encouraging, award-winning smile.  “Sorry, Sayo-chan,” she croons.  “I’m still a little bit groggy.”

Sayori rubs her chin.  “That’s okay, Ryo—”

Junko’s gaze grows harsh.

“—Jun-chan.” Sayori tilts her head one way and then the other.  “That really hurt.”  She blinks up at Junko and then grins.  “I know!  You’re just trying to look out for me!  I won’t be late again.”

The fuck?

Junko sighs, pinches the bridge of her nose again, and then says, pacing her words out so that she can be very clear, “Sayo-chan.  Why don’t you tell me everything I need to know about…about everything?  We’ve known each other our entire lives, right?  Catch me up to speed.”

“Did you forget?”

Junko hates Sayori’s annoying fucking voice.  She sounds whiny and pathetic, and not in the hot way that Mikan did, but in the obnoxious way Hiyoko did when she was just trying to get under someone’s skin.  (Hiyoko was always faking it.  Something tells Junko that Sayori is not.)  “Pretend that I did,” she says, and her eyes flash.  “Pretend like we’re playing a game.”

“Oh!  Okay!”

~

Sayori tells her everything.

Junko groans.

[uriekukistan]

how do you … hhow do yiu start writjng. like how do you. opening paragraph…. how do you begin..

sksjdj sorry this took so long, i genuinely rewrote my answer 3-4 times 💀 took me a few hours to figure out how i wanted to answer this tbh bc usually i don't even know what im doing either

also im by no means a perfect writer, i’m still working to improve with every fic, so pls take this w a grain of salt, everyone writes their own way as well…hopefully this isnt too long or annoying or preachy or anything.

i always have an outline of my fic ready before i start writing, regardless of if it's super vague or highly detailed, i also try to think about what the character(s) want from the situation(s) and potential ways that could create conflict (not in an angsty way per se but in a plot moving way). knowing this is super helpful for deciding where to start because different types of openings are good for different stories.

ideas i use a lot!

-> character intro! this is my most commonly used way to start a new story. i like to make sure my MC is in the first sentence so the reader knows who the story is going to focus on. this does have a potential to go wrong, bc essentially, there's the good way and then there's my immortal 💀

when i say to use a character intro, i mean like their mindset/beliefs as they pertain to the plot, main conflict they're facing, or how they're feeling at that moment, rather than "basic info"

ex: megumi fushiguro is 15, has black hair and green eyes, and he's a jujutsu sorcerer and is in his first year at jujutsu tech. in his free time, he reads. he loves animals. he was abandoned by his parents at a young age, so he's wary of others <- boring, bland, sparks 0 interest

VS: Megumi was never a fan of love. Not in books, not in TV shows, not in movies, and certainly not in real life. He hadn’t so much as considered having romantic feelings for someone in fifteen years of living, and he wasn’t about to start now. Definitely not now. Not after what had happened. <- interesting, gives insight into how megumi thinks (and how strongly), sparks interest bc what happened??

hsiao doesn't want to date a coworker because she has a dangerous job, but has a crush on saiko. urie can't express his feelings because he's spent ages bottling them up, and now he needs to grieve someone he didn't realize he cared for until it's too late. establishing these things is really important, and should be done eventually either way.

i think this method works best for stories focusing on a conflict that's more internal because it sets up the characters psyche, but can still be used for external conflict effectively!

-> dialogue: another one that can be tricky, and gets a bad wrap sometimes, but it can very much be used well. it's good to use if the story is focusing on interpersonal conflict, especially if it involves a lot of arguing. usually, i throw the reader into a high tension, fast moving scene with dialogue, sometimes one with a confrontational start, sometimes in the middle of an already brewing interaction.

-> strong feelings: this works best with negative feelings, so i use it mostly for reeeeaaaallly angsty fics. physical pain, extreme sadness or guilt, grief, rage, or high stress work really well for this, because they're feelings that tend to consume everything else. you gotta be ready to dedicate a few paragraphs to really good descriptions that make readers feel. it's a bit intimidating to write and has the potential to overwhelm readers as well, so i tend to reserve it for fics that i intend to be really heavy and upsetting, no happy ending/comfort type fics

-> straight into action: gonna be honest, i try to avoid this one as much as possible unless it's in a multi-chapter fic where the characters/conflict have been firmly established. used outside of this, i think it works best with actions that are literal beginnings, or it feels like part of the story is missing. things like waking up, opening a door (staring at a blank page trying to write..........)

lil tips ig

★ shorter sentences: my usual writing style has a lot of lengthy sentences, but when it's the first thing a reader sees, it slows down the pace immediately. of course, there's a place for long sentences as well, but the average reader is going to go for something that grabs their attention quickly.

★ u don't have to start from the beginning!! honestly i get this from writing academic essays, but sometimes it's easier to write the beginning after you wrote the rest because even if u think u know where ur going, it can change as u write it. tbh once i wrote fic almost entirely backwards 💀

slfkjgnkjnsfglk i hope this was at least somewhat helpful, honestly i wasn't sure what to say, but i'm really excited to see ur fic!!! ik u have a lot of things planned, so i'm sure once you get the first words out there, the rest will start flowing !!!

[house-of-mirrors]

I don't think I can coherently share my reactions to the Martyr-King's Cup

(I'm not done yet, just stopped playing today at the point right before going to the Blue Kingdom, nobody mention how it ends thanks)

aaaaaaaaaaaaa (major sskies spoilers under the cut)

The crew watching the Captain be seized by a higher power. Falling under the spell of moonlight. Dragging everyone across the far reaches of the skies on a "quest" for bits of garbage and a broken painting, which by all accounts seems like they've gone mad, but then there's a real magic sword and you use it! You use it to slay the monster lurking in the clock tower.

(which I strongly suspect was Veils, cmon, bat-winged beast glutted on thousands of years of violence. And additionally on that bullet point, AAAAA compared to the amount of painful preparation you have to do in BAL, which doesn't even fully work, versus here in skies you have a sword that was used to end the reign of a judgement - it's such a stark difference in power).

I'm also... emotional at the idea of the Hoarder watching the Captain slipping from reality. It watches them kill who might be Veils and revel in the triumph. Apples and Veils were allies in Old London. What must it be thinking... It refuses to let the Captain near after that incident, not till this issue is resolved. They're unstable and unpredictable right now and what if they think it's a monster next? It has to protect the babies. 😭 I didn't expect to get angst arc in their relationship and yet.........

ANYWAY back to game, the sword is called the Minute to Midnight, which only makes me think of December despite the context of the weapon's use.

The Arthurian quest is masterfully done. I feel like I'm back in my Brit lit college course, and also the Renaissance fair.

The delightful insanity. The inherent eroticism of a powerful being manipulating you 😳 and the writing is so damn funny. The simple mental image of the crew and officers reacting is too much. (Also! The ambition integrates your officers' presence which doesn't happen often! Yay!) The butter knife stabbed into the table instead of a sword. Something about me is that my physical shows of emotion tend to be muted but I've been laughing out loud the whole time. Most excellent.

Then again, my response to horror is also to laugh :)

I'm playing through full embrace of moonlight this time. Strongly get the sense this is going to lead to a bad ending for me but what can I say, I chose what looked cool at the time.

But I intend to immediately restart it and play with no moonlight, because the story is told in a vastly different way depending on the quality. It's just so much. I'm blown away.

In conclusion, THE KING OF HOURS IS A BASTARD 🔪⏳👑☀️ if you know you know

And I'm yelling re: the Blue Kingdom's involvement, lmao, they act all reclusive and poised but they too have killed stars over philosophical disagreements. Who would win, the King of Hours trying to be immortal or the Arbiter of Fates aligned with the Philosophy of Culmination? (it's the Arbiter. girlboss moment)

This also clears up a question I had of how the King of Hours died. I knew the devils had rebelled from the Irem update in Fallen London, but Skies makes it seem like the only way for lower beings to kill a Judgement is with the aid of another Judgement. So the Blue Kingdom helped. Got it.

So now I have to kill three (3) (III) Logoi and I'm so so so so so scared someone please come pick me up I'm so bad at combat and they move so fast and have so much health and attack power. I managed to finish an Undeparted once but oof. And while typing this I just remembered it's hard to repair hull in the Blue Kingdom. 😀👍

In conclusion 2 electric boogaloo: OUGH

Everyone say thank you, Mr Tuffs

[insertpoetryhere]

Dadbastian Week: Identity

Wow look at that, posting the prompt on the day I'm supposed to. A thing I totally always do.

Anyways this is for @dadbastianweek2023 and let it be known I had a blast writing this and sneaking in things from an AU I will probably never write.

The Mighty Fall

Sebastian had been alive for more than a millenia. 

And no matter how long that seemed in the eyes of a human, it was even longer to the demon who had been forced to endure it.

There was no good way to spend a thousand years. When he had been mortal, the idea of living so long had been a fantasy. But the only reason why it was desirable was because it was supposed to be impossible. A 30 year old merchant could dream of living forever as much as he wanted, that didn’t mean he would ever get the opportunity.

How stupid he would feel now if only he knew.

The marvel of immortality faded the first time Sebastian got hungry. It was a different type of hunger, one that wouldn’t ever grant him the release of death if he couldn’t satisfy it.

And satisfy it he did. It only takes a few decades for whatever imitation of guilt he had once had to make way to pleasure. The hunt was fun, but the shaping of a soul was even more entertaining. Sebastian had convinced kings to behead their queens, mothers to drown their own children, pious men to burn entire cities to the ground in the name of a god that they would never meet.

A soul was sweeter when you were what caused it to fall so far.

As said before, there is no good way to spend a thousand years. But he had possibly found and delighted in every single bad way to do it.

Which is what made his current state so ironic.

Sebastian held up the crystal glass he was polishing up to the light, humming a little tune he had been adding little bits and pieces to while he looked for any spots he missed. The rest of the household was fast asleep, his favorite time of the day since it meant there was no one in his way for the next few hours.

In that time he had managed to reorganize the pantry, beat out the rug in the foyer, and now he had even finished polishing the nice crystal (which mostly just collected dust in a cupboard since the young master felt the set was “too flashy”). He placed the glass back in its proper place, feeling very self satisfied as the dinnerware glittered even in the darkest corners of the cupboard.

That's when he felt the faintest pull in his chest.

He sighed, a glove hand placing itself over where a human heart would be without him telling it to do so. “It’s just a dream.” He said seemingly to no one.

There was another, stronger tug.

“Go back to sleep.” He nearly begged, thinking of the list of chores he still needed to do.

The next one was like a dagger, sharp and impossible to ignore when it passed through him.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Damn it all to hell-” 

He grabbed his candle off of the kitchen counter and made his way upstairs, secretly hoping that the sensation in his chest would ease away as the subject faded back to sleep. That hope faded when he heard the screaming from the hallway, traveling through the thick mahogany door despite the fact that Ciel didn’t need to be loud to get the job done.

“-BASTIAN!” The frenzied screaming hit his ears like a freight train as he opened the door without knocking (there was no point in doing so, since there was no way Ciel would hear him over his own cries). “SEBASTIAN!”

“Yes my lord?” Sebastian nearly had to yell just to be heard. “I’m here!”

He rushed to his young master’s bedside, but didn’t dare move any closer than that as Ciel’s screams died and turned into desperate pants and heaving breaths. The boy’s wild eyes flicked to him, like he wasn’t sure who was talking to him.

“You’re alright, my lord. It was just a dream, you’re s-” Sebastian choked on his words. He brought a hand up to his neck as he realized that what he was about to say technically wasn’t true. Ciel wasn’t “safe” by any means.

Especially not with him.

“... You are unharmed.” He amended, his voice softer now that he didn’t need to fight to be heard.

Ciel’s eyes focused a little more, though he was still clearly dazed from whatever horror he had been forced to relive. Sebastian waited patiently for an order, whether it be to stay there until he fell back asleep or to go away and never speak of this again.

But Ciel did neither. Rather, in one quick motion that would have been almost too fast for a normal human to process, Ciel launched himself at Sebastian. His arms wrapped around Sebastian’s neck, pulling him down to his level and forcing him to drop to one knee to avoid losing his balance. The candle that was in his hand fell to the ground, the force of impact smothering the flame and leaving them in total darkness.

Sebastian tensed, at first presuming the action to be an attack. He made an attempt to gently remove Ciel, but paused when the movement only made Ciel cling to his shoulders harder.

“NO!” He screamed too close to Sebastian’s ear, his voice weak with sobs as he pressed his face into Sebastian’s jacket.

… Ah. Sebastian thought to himself, a strange uncertainty creeping up his spine. Not an attack..

Sebastian cleared his throat, moving his arms and hesitantly allowing them to wrap around the boy’s torso. Ciel took the shift in position as an open invitation to bury himself even deeper into Sebastian’s embrace, hiding his face fully in the safety of Sebastian’s shoulder.

Sebastian allowed him to stay like that for a few minutes before attempting to pull back once more. The movement was met with much less resistance this time, with Ciel only whining pitifully as he felt Sebastian start to pull away. Still, it was enough to convince Sebastian to stay put.

It was hardly appropriate for a butler to cradle his master like a toddler. Of course Sebastian knew that. But Ciel seemed to need it and no one else was around to witness their lapse in manners, so really what was the harm?

Carefully, he lifted both himself and his young master up onto the bed in hopes that a more comfortable position might help the child soothe himself back to sleep. Ciel sniffled as he settled himself against Sebastain’s chest, a blanket now thrown over his shoulders. His grip around Sebastain’s neck relaxed, making it easier for Sebastian to turn them in a way that would make it easier to settle Ciel back against his pillow once sweeter dreams finally took him.

“There, there.” He whispered, Ciel’s dark hair soft against his chin as he rested it on the top of the boy’s head. A feeling almost like nausea washed over him as he rocked the crying boy back and forth as if he were a baby. “You mustn't work yourself up like this.”

The two stayed like that for another fifteen minutes, with Sebastain shushing Ciel until he could feel his breaths even out and his heart rate slow down. Sebastian stopped rocking, but still didn’t move until he could hear Ciel’s soft snores, barely audible as they were muffled against the thick material of his jacket. Carefully, he peeled the sleeping boy off of him and laid him back down against his favorite pillow. He took the thick comforter and pulled it all the way up to Ciel’s chin, tucking him in firm enough to stave off the cold autumn air that sometimes snuck its way through to cracks in the window frame. 

Sebastian once leveled cities and erased entire bloodlines from the face of the earth. 

Now he comforts little boys when they’ve had nightmares and rocks them back to sleep once he’s done.

He leaned down, picking up the candle he had dropped when Ciel hugged him. He stared at it, still making out every detail despite the darkness surrounding him. He grimaced in disgust.

Oh, how the mighty fall.

[jennyandvastraflint]

Xena Reactions S2Ep14

YAYYY EPHINY is queen

"Does an Amazon Queen beat a Warrior Princess" sjfhdhdbd

OH SH*T

"Thought I was dead, didn't you"

That's a bad idea, Valeska

OOOOH, WHITE EYES. Is she taller?

Xena pushing Gabrielle down

Oh damn she's OP

Xena just wants Gabrielle safe 😭

RETREAT.

Oh she's weakening... She can't go on forever

Xena saved Ephiny as well!

THE SHOULDER GRAB

Gabrielle will for sure suggest a "Give me to her then you can all live" plan

Ngl I wish I could pull off boots like that

Now Valeska is queen of a bunch of burning huts and smoke ig

The amazons wanna fightttt

XENA DISLOCATED HER ARM? And put it back in... 😂

HAND ON SHOULDERRRR they're so touchy

"I've never been hunted" T_T

A rat? Whooo... CALLISTO!???

Wait when did Callisto turn immortal. Did that happen in Hercules or...

"I know how much this hurts you" "No you don't" THEY'RE FIGHTING, NOOOO T_T

Poor traumatised Gabrielle

Velaska is stalking the forest

NOOOO EPHINY. This is 100% a ruse

AHAHAHA THEY TRAPPED HER. Or... Not XD

Gabrielle is worried for her gf :(

Callisto gained a scar, hu

She looks a bit more unhinged than usual

"You may be immortal, but I can still do damage" Hihihihiii

Oh Callisto likes the ambrosia

SHE SAID TWO WHISTLES FOR A REASON

"Oh me too, thanks for asking"

ANY NEW HUSBANDS wow that's fucking rude

Ooookay she just stabbed herself... She's very... Eh XD

SHE TELLS THE STORY OF CIRRA, CALLISTO'S VILLAGE

There are so many emotions here

Velaska the goddess of chaos

OI DON'T DISS ARTEMIS

"Ahaaa, and then it's you and me and the Ambrosia"

Callisto is enjoying this a bit too much XDD "Now?? :3"

SHE CAN HEAR GABRIELLE'S FAST HEARTBEAT

"She just switched sides..." -_- Great

"And who are you?" "I'm insulted"

Callisto is gonna get mad and attack her like that sbdgdhd

Sword fightttt

OH SHIIIIIT

Callisto is so pissed Valeska tried to kill her sjdfhdh

Aaaand she's buried for the time being. I feel like that won't stop her for long...

"Patience is a virtue" and she leaves. XD

NSDHDHHDDHHDDV HOW IS CALLISTO SITTING POLISHING HER SWORD

Uh Callisto is gonna be rude

CALLISTO IS SO AWFUL... Urghhh

"Just played a game of truth or dare and she's not very good at it."

Every time they discuss a plan in detail it WILL go differently. Simple story telling

"It's your precious little Gabrielle she wants" sbdhdhd "I know..." T_T

Shfhfd is she tornadoing herself

"Looks a little like home, remember"

Sacrificial lamb sjfhds

OOP THERE SHE IS

Noooooooo... Xena will run to her rescue

"Don't let go, I'm coming" yeah that

THEY'RE SO CLOSE SO HUGGING SO HOLD

The calm before the storm...

AND there it is

"I'm the bait"

"SACRIFICING YOU IS NOT PART OF THE PLAN" aaaaaah

Yeah I too would like to dump Callisto AND Velaska

"Go away" Noooo, Xena

"Yes. I don't want to die." yessss

Gabrielle nicks the Ambrosia

Pls Callisto is so unhinged I love her sbdhdd in the same way as Missy XD

Uh oh. Now we have two goddesses

"Here comes trouble" I will not inspect why I heard Here comes mother at first...

Oop they both fell in

HOLY SHIT XENA They somehow climbed back up. NICE

"For eternity I hope" Oh absolutely they'll come back

"If I can't forgive her I can't move on" real

Niceee, those two will absolutely come back again.

[animatorweirdo]

Good morning/evening! It’s muffin anon and I have yet another weird idea for you.

So, what if Reader is a universe hopper? Like, they were just a regular person who happened to step on a crack in the universe and landed in the multiverse. They wanted to get back home but didn't know how to, so they just started to try out every single universe until they could find their homeland.

Also, in this multiverse, you cannot die unless you are in your homeworld and you do not age no matter how much time passes. Because of weird space-time shenanigans.

While they travel across the multiverse, the Reader stumbles across Arda, a very weird place as it is flat and not round like most other worlds. They know that this is definitely not their world but they decide to go in and see what this is about anyway.

They first land in the First Age and meet the Feanorians. (I am too lazy to write their reactions and it would be a delight if you could.) and one more time, after they have traveled a multitude of different worlds in the Third Age, during the War of the Ring. Surviving elves are very surprised to see the reader again, but they are delighted nonetheless. Reader takes a particular liking to Frodo and decides to be his guardian during his perilous quest.

BUT! There is a BUT!

The gods of the multiverse decide that Reader has been messing around with the balance of the multiverse and punish Reader by making them bound to Arda, meaning they become immortal. In a world that is losing all magic and immortality.

Reader helps to complete the quest and lives with their loved ones until they die. Then Reader goes to the very few elves remaining in Middle Earth to live with them as long as they can before those elves too, inevitably sail West.

After all elves either sail West or fade, dwarves delve too deep into their mountains and hobbits diminish, Reader starts to travel all across Arda as they are missing their freedom in the multiverse horribly. They only now understand that ‘going back home’ was only an excuse they used to travel around. And now that they are bound to a single world, they feel trapped.

Into the 5th or 6th age, Reader is very lonely and depressed. They try to talk to the gods of the multiverse and beg them to allow them to travel once more. But there is no answer.

For thousands of years, Reader traverses Arda alone and despairing until they meet a lone elf who did not sail or fade. Maglor. I can’t imagine what their reunion would be like. Both of them thought they would never see anyone they never ever again, and here they are.

From then, the two of them continue traveling together. They become very close as they bond over their shared trauma of the world going to fast and them never cathing it.

After that, I can imagine two endings:

Maglor and Reader’s burden becomes to much to bear and the two of them build a ship and sail to Valinor.

Reader’s punishment is finished and they are allowed to travel through the multiverse again on the condition they do not mess with anything. Reader asks if they can take Maglor. The multiverse gods take one look at the miserable face of Maglor and allow the two of them to face the eternal infinity together.

So, that was a lot! What do you think? Did I give Reader and Maglor too much trauma? Also, which ending do you prefer? I would love to hear your thoughts! (And possibly read a detailed reaction if that wouldn't be too much of a burden?)

Oh, dear Muffin. I can trust you to come up with sad stuff. You certain you aren't a bit of an angst demon?

I can definitely see reader and Maglor falling in love since living for centuries unable to die might not do well for mental health. However, I do not see Maglor willing to leave his world behind since his family is still bound to it, so maybe reader decided to make Arda their forever home and stay for Maglor. Also, they probably live long enough to catch up with the final battle with Morgoth, so maybe after that, they are allowed to live in happiness.

Or maybe during the final battle, Morgoth discovers the way of the universe hopping and intends to escape, and reader has to prevent it by breaking the bridge from the other side which results in reader being unable to come back.

But for the happy ending, reader travels through several universes to find a path back to Arda and reunite with Maglor.

(And for the reactions, the elves would probably feel weirded out by the whole universe hopping thing.)