I Met You Once, I Loved You Twice
Celebrity au! Their persona, and then their true self, it seems like you were meant to love them regardless
Ft. Childe, Furina, Kaveh, Scaramouche (Wanderer), Wriothesley
[Idol! Childe, Actress! Furina, Racer! Kaveh, Artist! Scaramouche, Athlete! Wriothesley]
Childe:
You knew him before the fame, before the glitz and glamour; when he was just Ajax
And as horribly sappy as it sounds, you've loved him since day 1
Falling in love with Ajax was like slipping on ice while you're hiking up a snowy mountain
You get a little too caught up in the scenery, a tad bit too comfortable being around him
And suddenly, you fail to notice the patch of ice and slip, tumbling down the cliffside, your affection for him snowballing into something greater
And so you support him through his dreams of becoming an idol, writing to him while he's a trainee, making care packages for him
Anything for your Ajax
And when he finally debuts...
Oh boy, all the fans calling themselves his partner? They could dream on
You called dibs on him before any of them even set eyes on him
Besides, how could they even fall for someone just from watching them perform?
That was answered for you the first time Ajax excitedly insisted you watch him in the MV
You're not exactly proud of your reactions to seeing him come up on screen, but he seemed happy enough about it
Falling in love with the idol Childe was like drowning
Holding your breath, choking and flailing
It's dizzying until you finally succumb, which doesn't take long at all
And once he's converted you into a fan?
He's such a little shit, whipping out the idol persona for a smidge of free fanservice just to get you flustered at the most random times
And he's back to your sweet old Ajax in seconds too, acting like nothing's amiss
Furina:
The world's greatest actress finds that the world is her stage
Ever perfect, ever entertaining, her splendour is unparalleled
It was impossible not to adore such craft, and you easily fell in love with her acting just as one would fall asleep, gently and blissfully without even realising
Immersing yourself in her works, you develop a sort of fanaticism, delving deeper to find her interviews
She's beautiful whether or not she's filming, you find
So much so that you can't help but wonder how much of it is true
And so when you do, by some trick of fate, meet her, you feel compelled to ask
It's a dark, foggy evening, and you're taking a brisk walk along the forest
Who would've thought you'd bump into her then?
And so you strike up conversation, eager to interact with your favourite actress
And when you broach the topic of her facade, you notice she gets a tad bit defensive
So you apologise and back off, meaning well, hoping to see her again
And you do: these late walks become a regular thing, and slowly, you start to know her for who she really was
It's almost like meeting her for the first time all over again, and it very well may have been if you don't count the act as meeting her
Falling for Furina, your friend, was like taking an ice bath
Frigidity seized you almost instantly, and yet, as you stayed longer, the more pleasant it felt, almost soothing in a sharp sort of way
Kaveh:
Not just anyone could race in what was known to be the pinnacle of motorsports
And Kaveh? He was brilliant, the light of Ksharewar, the face of the team
And frankly, a very charming face
Often regarded as one of the prettiest on the grid (if not the prettiest)
He's really raking in the viewers
Imagine people seeing *1* edit of him getting out his his car post race and suddenly they're invested in races
Ofc being a new fan, the gatekeeping you have to put up with is ridiculous
"I bet your favourite driver is Kaveh because he's handsome."
As if he's not one of the most talented to ever grace us with his presence?
He gets so involved with the car's engineering honestly he should just build the car himself too atp
He is speed on the track
And falling for the light of Ksharewar through the television screen is an adrenaline rush in and of itself
So bumping into him in real life was just breathtaking
You sincerely hoped you didn't come off as some crazed fanatic with the way you rambled on about how much you loved seeing the way he pushed the car to its limits and everything
Overall it was a great once in a lifetime experience and you planned to treasure it
Until it was just a once in a lifetime thing and you seemed to bump into him a fair bit ("Hey aren't you that fan that completely went off about the car that time?")
Once you'd started talking to him more frequently, the rush of meeting him started to fade into less of a frenzy, and more of a bubbling excitement
Falling in love with Kaveh was like taking a breath of fresh air and letting the chilly breeze fill your lungs, a crisp clarity creeping through your senses
But from the faint flush of pink on his cheeks, perhaps the opposite was the case on his end
Scaramouche(Wanderer):
You've heard of artists with depression, now what about artists with borderline personality disorder?
The first time you'd met him, you didn't even know it was him
You'd been at an art gallery admiring the works signed off by Kunikuzushi when a stranger stood beside you
"You've been staring at this sculpture for a pretty long time."
"I like it. I don't think I've ever felt such yearning embedded in stone."
The stranger didn't respond, but nodded in acknowledgement and continued to stand beside you
Falling for Kunikuzushi was like falling in love with shadows
It was no more than a feeling, a yearning, a desperation much like what he portrays in his works
Everything you knew about him seemed to drown in sorrow, loneliness, and self destruction, yet having never met him, you were sure this was only one small aspect of his being
Which left you ever curious
Curiouser still was that same stranger with the odd navy blue hair who always seemed to happen to bump into you at these exhibitions
Without fail, he'd prompt you to speak, as though digging for your thoughts on each piece
Not that it bothered you, the stranger felt familiar, and had become a welcome face
Warm was his presence and gentle was his gaze, yet a detached coldness kept you from him
He was beautiful, you noted, like moonlight, with all it melancholic splendour and grace, like the paintings and sculptures you loved so dearly
And so you found yourself falling for a beguiling stranger whose name you knew not
You loved him like the sea loves the shore, always reaching for him, but pulling back in uncertainty
"You're oddly silent today," he notes.
"I was thinking of how much this piece reminds me of us. It's weird, isn't it? How I'm seeing things, drawing links to some stranger."
"Not really. I made it like that for you. We don't have to be strangers."
Wriothesley:
Baseball player Wriothesley who has his fans swooning at his charming grin and chuckle
A real heart stopper (he could beat me with his bat)
Fans adore him regardless of whether they're simps (they are) because he's good at his job
The only people who hate him are fans of the opposing team
The way his arms flex with every swing, in this essay I will-
He's built like a tank and plays like one too
So obviously you'd expect him to be a pretty confident kind of guy
And he is
He's a charmer, a smooth talker, and painfully level headed
So why was this beefy cannon suddenly bashful over your incessant praise?
Just look at him, which of his fans haven't fallen completely smitten?
Falling for the star player was like stepping into a big city for the first time, and being wowed and blinded by the lights and massive skyscrapers
But Wriothesley was a soft person at heart
And oh so very vulnerable to affection
For every compliment you uttered, he'd readily deflect it, but when they just didn't end?
Boy was he at a loss
He did end up treating you to coffee, so that was nice
But he was very obviously avoiding your gaze which he deemed to raw for him to meet
Yet it is that exact raw adoration that he can't quite dismiss
He knows how superficial fawning can be, yet there's an undeniable gratification when it comes from you
So he keeps you at arm's length, letting you in ever so slightly, but never too close despite not pushing you away
Falling in love with Wriothesley was like planting a seed and nurturing it as it grows
The germination takes place out of sight, the results unnoticeable until it finally sprouts as a fragile sapling
Discouraging as it may be, with continued work, it does get easier
And when he's secure enough to trust you entirely...he promised to return all your efforts tenfold
Taglist: @ryuryuryuyurboat @yinyinggie @mx-kamisato @chaosinanutshell @haliyarobin @irethepotato @boundedbyfate @favonius-captain @aqui-soba @tiredsleep @sadlonelybagel @mastering-procrastinating
604 notes
·
View notes
i finally articulated my opinion on my "is gerard way doing drag" question. my definition of drag is when a person impersonates, exaggerates, or appropriates a mode of gender expression. drag can be artistic or political (or both). drag can be an identity. drag and transgender identity are confused as the same thing. for some, it is. what is considered cross dressing can also be considered drag. it's important to note that drag is essential to queer culture, and how the us government harasses queer people through cross dressing, and now anti-drag, laws. we wouldnt be here talking about pop artists doing drag without drag performers and nonbinary-trans-gnc people.
to some people, a self-identified man in a female-identified dress is drag. "cross dressing" depends on cishet norms. queer people, especially nonbinary-trans-gnc people, have called to dismantle the assignment of gender to clothing. under that lens, a man in a dress is just a man in a dress -- for it to be drag, context and intent matters. that's how you get women doing female drag, or androgynous people doing what gerard way's been doing this last year on tour.
in asking "is gerard way doing drag?", im assigning importance to the topic. does it matter? within my understanding, drag is about intent and context as much as gender presentation. intent and context is what makes something important. therefore: understanding why the question is important solves it.
male music artists have a long history of cross dressing and doing drag. there's a good chance plugging any dude into a search engine with "drag" or "skirt" will bring something up. bowie, queen, nirvana, manic street preachers, placebo. here's a list. newer artists: lil nas x, harry styles, anthony green, pete wentz, young thug. some are impersonating female caricatures, some are masculinizing female clothes (long, ill-fitting, straight). some, like molko and lil nas, wear feminine clothes without exaggerating or masculinizing. gerard is in that same grey area.
male music artists have a long history of cross dressing and doing drag -- photos: "i want to break free" mv by queen (1984) / placebo in london (oct 1998) / lil nas x at audacy beach festival (dec 5, 2021) / fall out boy at rock for people (june 17, 2022)
all that history is why it was so weird when kerrang called gerard's riot fest "dress and heels" "a compelling show of contrarian anti-rock star eccentricity". it is not anti-rock star, at least not as described. it may be compelling, contrarian, and eccentric, but no reviewer really cares to analyze why. the closest they get is by identifying non-binary connection (them.us) and its relation to the "minefield that is American gender politics today" (latimes.com).
fans were struck by way's outfits for a lot of other reasons.
1. we have to get it out of the way that they just looked hot -- gerard is perpetually attractive, skirts are pretty. easy equation.
2. he has a long history of gender nonconformity. more on that in my #mcr queer studies tag. gerard is a 45 year old famously androgynous person who doesnt do labels, aligns himself with gender nonconformity (2014 reddit ama, 2018 advocate article, 2015 he/they tweet), and doesnt seem to care to be known as a man.
3. the tour outfits were well-fitted. many were crafted by skilled designer marina toybina and her team. which leads to ->
4. the outfits were very casual and very feminine. as mentioned, most men opt for masculine, ill-fitting skirts. which is to say they are NOT showing leg and they are definitely not showing ass. gerard doesnt steer clear from shortness or tightness or movement. he also dresses in ways people dress day to day -- the miniskirt is as casual as the shorts as casual as the jeans. there's some discussion to be had about what casual means -- he could be imitating expected presentation or just using basics, like his frequent shirt and pants.
the miniskirt is as casual as the shorts as casual as the jeans -- photos: firefly music festival (sept 23, 2022) / uncasville (sept 1, 2022) / eden project night 1 (may 16, 2022)
5. there was variety. many outfits, many types. he wasnt just doing pure femininity. some looks were high concept, some low concept. some gendered, some genderless. some feminine, some masculine. it was playful. its honesty evident in its fluidity yet cohesiveness. expanded in the next points ->
6. they incorporate elements of masculinity and gender neutrality concurrent with the feminine. his aggressive, energetic performance style often doesnt mind what people are seeing when his skirt lifts or shirt droops. he has little to no make-up -- if he does, it's stage and not glam. the closest he gets is the agender black swan look at boston night 1, the stage contour at wwwy night 3, and dubious lipstick at firefly. he also maintains the same hairstyle: barely styled, not straightened-curled. pinned a few times, gelled back some other times.
he has little to no make-up -- if he does, it's stage and not glam -- photos: boston night 1 (sept 7, 2022) / when we were young night 3 (oct 29, 2022) / firefly music festival (sept 23, 2022)
7. the character outfits weren't caricatures, like green's sleazy hooker or queen's uptight housewives. gerard's characters were appropriated but not exaggerated. cheerleader, nurse, manson girl, jackie o, princess diane, st joan. all figures of pop culture. he wore them as they were. even comparing green and way's similar white-green cheerleader costumes there's a difference in presentation. green wears long leggings, way wears shorts. green's costume is based on a stranger things character, way's is a custom remade vintage outfit. green exhibits the masculinization of feminine clothes which way subverts. this comparison highlights what makes way's outfits different, and therefore exciting to talk about.
green exhibits the masculinization of feminine clothes which way subverts -- photos: saosin in garden grove, ca (oct 27, 2022) / mcr in nashville, tn (aug 23, 2022)
8. and when he played with masculinity, it was in a way that was dubbed "boydrag". the new jersey night 2 casino singer look was a dramatic caricature that heightened masculine features until they were pure style... the defintion of camp. he had a mustache -- thin like john waters or a confirmed bachelor, and drawn on with eyeliner. he had a suit -- a pink-gold, glittery woman's cut jacket with a glittery bowtie and pleated shirt. the dramatic flair is accentuated by the black eye make-up, the frank sinatra "my way" cover, the drum tag: "the house always wins".
the defintion of camp -- photos: new jersey night 2 (sept 21, 2022) 1 / 2
when i asked which outfits others considered drag, all replies identified the casino singer and jackie o as drag and the rest as "just clothes". this relation made me understand why the rest couldnt be drag despite all the connections i talked about above. the jackie o outfit doesnt exaggerate the source like casino singer, but the source itself is both highly dramatic and highly gendered. cheer is gendered but not highly dramatic, st joan dramatic but not highly gendered. diane is gendered and dramatic, but not highly. the list goes on and on. it's a fine line. especially cheer could tip into drag for me.
but the source itself is both highly dramatic and highly gendered -- photos: mcr at riot fest (oct 12, 2022) / jackie kennedy onassis (jan 3, 1971)
if drag is understood in this way, simply wearing gendered clothes isnt drag. the look itself has to be about the performance of gender, however that may be presented. that’s the importance of classification. we can see what the artist is doing.
1K notes
·
View notes
My Love Mix Up Episode 2
I have just finished the episode and I was not pleased, so this is your warning to look away if it's going to hurt your feelings to read a serious critique of this show.
I was trying to give it some space last week, but this is an offensively bad adaptation of a beloved Japanese work. I could not believe my eyes through the final part of this episode, and I was already feeling pretty down on the episode before I even got there. The team at GMMTV has stripped most of the important themes and the unique aspects of these characters away and replaced them with monetized drivel that is basically just a MSP redux in Kieta Hatsukoi drag. Let me make a quick list of the bad changes in this episode:
Rather than accepting Atom volunteering to play the lead role in drag and rallying around him, the class shoots him down and forces Mudmee into the role
Which means not only that Atom does not perform in drag, but also does not spend time properly rehearsing for this role on stage with the rest of the cast (put a pin in that one!)
Atom doesn't struggle much with getting over Mudmee and starts making moon eyes at Kongthap much earlier on--there's no real arc, it just suddenly is happening
Kongthap is somehow comfortable starring as the lead in a musical despite the fact that he is meant to be a socially awkward and quietly intense dude
Oh yeah, they made the play a goddamn musical so they could make a series of MVs within the episode and monetize the OSTs (they were going to make Mudmee, a girl with intense stage fright, sing and dance onstage???)
Atom runs into the play at the last minute (somehow in a costume for a part that didn't exist) and hits all his marks, performing flawlessly in a role he did not properly prepare for instead of comically struggling to carry out a passable performance
Kongthap (who you may recall is supposed to be awkward and uncomfortable with romance and uncertain of his feelings for Atom) smoothly performs a love duet and ballroom dance scene with Atom, rather than awkwardly delivering a few stiff lines
Rather than the whole class teasing Atom about a drag performance in a way that displayed a subtle form of systemic bias, they had three bullies be blatantly homophobic and get singled out as bad apples
These choices are not just bad because they're different, they're bad because they undermine characterization and the internal logic and themes of the story. Some of this just plain doesn't make sense, and I no longer wonder why Fourth and Gemini are struggling in these roles when their characters are not consistently grounded. If they wanted a generic high school show to make more quick money off this cast, I really wish they would have left Kieta Hatsukoi out of it.
88 notes
·
View notes