#& w/ that . . . i leave for work for real!
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gnawing on cardboard because I've been seeing so many posts lately about how a character putting on healthy weight can be used narratively to show their healing journey and them finally feeling safe after struggling either physically or emotionally, and. God it's beautiful.
#saw it in a beautiful rookanis art a couple days ago and it's been everywhere since then#putting most of this in the tags to avoid dumping something that might be triggering on anyone's timelines#but one of my ocs is my main bg3 tav who this works SO well for#I accidentally designed him as being younger without much experience as a fighter which would leave him with “baby fat" (he's just healthy)#but honestly he'd probably lose it bc of the Nautiloid + camping for months w/out real food + fighting running etc. so constantly#and he already had an arc of struggling to adjust to being home when he feels like he can never be the same person as he was before#but him going home and eating well + sleeping properly + not fighting ending in him gaining back what he lost?? Being healthy again??#being able to physically see himself readjusting to his old life and fitting in like he was so scared that he couldn't??#and his friends and family who went to his funeral getting to see him come back to life like that??#I've had this idea for maybe twenty minutes but it's already so important to me#it's also a little relatable for me and makes me really happy#ramblings
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i want to put sukuna in a minimum wage customer service job and then see how he would react
#my guess? dead by the end of the week#and it needs to be a real shitty job the one w rude customers and insufficient management#also it would be double funny cause he’d have to make yuuji get up and leave in the middle of a battle to go to work#or wait true form sukuna in a stopnshop uniform :3#he gets to have his true form back but he has to work that 8hr shift simultaneously#ryomen sukuna#sukuna#jjk#to my moots..#this is my blorblo!! i <3 him very much
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I don't think the fate of Asa and Yoshida is settle in this conflict nor that Yoshida's strike is aimed to kill Asa (fjmt is an expert in making us believe things that aren't), for the simple reason that both of them still have not completed their own personal arcs nor have reached the culmination of their development, especially Yoshida, a character who remains a mystery for what he allows us to see from him. However, this last chapter showed a new facet of Yoshida which overthrows a previous assumption that us readers had about him.
Kishibe himself praised Yoshida for his combat skills and his templance as a devil hunter: a few screew loose reflected in a malicious almost childish smile while killing a man barehand. It comes natural for him to act as a weapon, the problem is to be human while being trapped in a problem/system way bigger than him. This time, he's about to kill Asa Mitaka, another enemy for PS, but the feeling is not the same as we saw in part 1: he's tired, definitelly sad. He knows he won't find joy in getting his hands dirty with her blood. It's safe to assume he doesn't want to do this. But, why now? why Asa? what change?
The maximum exposure of his personal conflict was through his conversation with Mitaka about the advantages of solitude through the construction of parasocial relationships, and how both of them should better continue down this path, an advice he assumed it would help her to content her need of connections: his own theory of happiness.
This topic is what later drags Asa Mitaka into a depresive episode due to the dissapointment of her attempts to connect with people, and how she cannot stop herself from becoming attached and creating expectations from relationships that barely exist to only end with her feeling stupid and miserable, where the last nail of the coffin were Denji standing her up on their second date and Yoshida rejecting her feelings again all in the same day. Why do I mention all of this? If you think that Asa is quick to create ideas in her mind out of her extreme emotional starvation, we can say the same thing about Yoshida. His phylosophy of interpersonal relationships takes an expector seat in the movie about his own life, where his feelings are well secured out of the reach of what the screen projects, where he's away from the pain and dissapointment to interact with the reality of rejection. While Asa suffers because she's stubborn and doesn't give up trying again and again to someday end her pain, Yoshida accepts and lives with it as an unchangable reality.
Yet, I believe his theory started to fail to him even before he noticed, during his time in highschool his world-view started to crack little by little (most likely by Denji's influence on him). Even if he didn't share significant moment with the rest of the cast, he enjoyed his time as a highschooler and, well, it isn't what parasocial relationships are about? happiness comes from the ilusion of companionship, and during all this time we've seen Yoshida chatting with someone or reacting about his surroundings in a group, especially with Denji at his side, feeding this needed ilusion of belonging. After all, the deep of these bonds doesn't matter but they're still important/meaningful to the person in question.
Maybe this expression shows that he does care about the people he spend time with pretending to be human just as them, maybe feels sorry to destroy this little life he believes doesn't fit into but had the opportunity to experience. He wants something like that for him too, a normal life where his lack of humanity isn't in the way to his desire of connection.
This is why I find this line very powerful for him to say, he apologize because he couldn't be of help to Asa, to have separate her from Denji while securing her to follow his theory of happiness, and by that to have made her situation worse than before and for things end up like this. He failed to fight the unchangeable once again.
#his last attempt of revolution is on protecting denji from PS interests. and that's what will kill him in the end#wont adjunt his moments w denji bc there's too many and we already know he's important to him and this post is about yoshida+asa#yoshida hirofumi#asa mitaka#chainsaw man#csm#chainsaw man spoilers#i enjoy reading characters better so i leave the plot to smarter people#some people say he will get clapped next chapter bc yoru will gain a power-up for what nayuta said but like. fear doesnt work like that?#the fear of war to that scale grows slower than in a spawn of seconds lets be real
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had someone on discord tell me that they read a lot of my texts in angel’s voice & i have no idea whether to be honored or deeply, personally offended.
#( ooc . mun speaks . )#it was in a gc too. in front of god & everybody.#i’m joking ofc i found it v funny#♡ ♡#& w/ that . . . i leave for work for real!
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examining a seemingly normal image only to slowly realize the clear signs of AI generated art.... i know what you are... you cannot hide your true nature from me... go back where you came from... out of my sight with haste, wretched and vile husk
#BEGONE!!! *wizard beam blast leaving a black smoking crater in the middle of the tumblr dashboard*#I think another downside to everyone doing everything on phone apps on shitty tiny screens nowadays is the inability to really see details#of an image and thus its easier to share BLATANTLY fake things like.. even 'good' ai art has pretty obvious tells at this point#but especially MOST of it is not even 'good' and will have details that are clearly off or lines that dont make sense/uneven (like the imag#of a house interior and in the corner there's a cabinet and it has handles as if it has doors that open but there#are no actual doors visible. or both handles are slightly different shapes. So much stuff that looks 'normal' at first glance#but then you can clearly tell it's just added details with no intention or thought behind it. a pattern that starts and then just abruptly#doesn't go anywhere. etc. etc. )#the same thing with how YEARS ago when I followed more fashion type blogs on tumblr and 'colored hair' was a cool ''''New Thing''' instead#of being the norm now basically. and people would share photos of like ombre hair designs and stuff that were CLEARLY photoshop like#you could LITERally see the coloring outside of the lines. blurs of color that extend past the hair line to the rest of the image#or etc. But people would just share them regardless and comment like 'omg i wish I could do this to my hair!' or 'hair goallzzzz!! i#wonder what salon they went to !!' which would make me want to scream and correct them everytime ( i did not lol)#hhhhhhggh... literally view the image on anything close to a full sized screen and You Will SEe#I don't know why it's such a pet peeve of mine. I think just as always I'm obsessed with the reality and truth of things. most of the thing#that annoy me most about people are situations in which people are misinterpreting/misunderstanding how something works or having a misconc#eption about somehting thats easily provable as false or etc. etc. Even if it's harmless for some random woman on facebook to believe that#this AI generated image of a cat shaped coffee machine is actually a real product she could buy somewhere ... I still urgently#wish I could be like 'IT IS ALL AN ILLUSION. YOU SEE???? ITS NOT REALL!!!!! AAAAA' hjhjnj#Like those AI shoes that went around for a while with 1000000s of comments like 'omg LOVE these where can i get them!?' and it's like YOU#CANT!!! YOU CANT GET THEM!!! THEY DONT EXIST!!! THE EYELETS DONT EVEN LINE UP THE SHOES DONT EVEN#MATCH THE PATTERNS ARE GIBBERISH!! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THEY ARE NOT REAL!??!!' *sobbing in the rain like in some drama movie*#Sorry I'm a pedantic hater who loves truth and accuracy of interpretation and collecting information lol#I think moreso the lacking of context? Like for example I find the enneagram interesting but I nearly ALWAYS preface any talking about it#with ''and I know this is not scientifically accurate it's just an interesting system humans invented to classify ourselve and our traits#and I find it sociologically fascinating the same way I find religion fascinating'. If someone presented personality typing information wit#out that sort of context or was purporting that enneagram types are like 100% solid scientific truth and people should be classified by the#unquestionaingly in daily life or something then.. yeah fuck that. If these images had like disclaimers BIG in the image description somewh#re like 'this is not a real thing it's just an AI generated image I made up' then fine. I still largely disagree with the ethics behind AI#art but at least it's informed. It's the fact that people just post images w/o context or beleive a falsehood about it.. then its aAAAAAA
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Looks like that video is about a month & a half after The Trade and trevors broken ankle 😣
re: this video… anon 😭 i had suspicions but it is so much worse to have them confirmed that really was like. trevor’s first Public Appearance without jamie AND post-broken ankle which is traumatic in and of itself no wonder every beat reporter was like ‘oh yeah trevor’s just devastated’

wouldn’t you be miserable too if your best friend just got traded and your body betrayed you and what if it was maybe all your fault!!!
#bestie thank you so much for fact-checking me 🙏🙏🥰🥰 i love when y’all come in my inbox & answer the questions i yell into the void of my tag#we are Suffering about trevor TOGETHER in this house. if i scrolled all the way to the bottom of my drafts i think i could find even more#heartbreaking content from before The Trade but we don’t need to suffer that much otherwise the penguin cup of tea is really irish coffee#confirms ALL of my theories about miserable trevor leaning into mason for comfort because in some universes that’s THEIR boyfriend who left#liv in the replies#trevor zegras#mason mctavish#need to go lay on the floor about this one folks. do you think trevor said he would only do it if mason came if he could sit next to mason#right at the end where people were rushing out not stopping to talk tired by the end of the line and not even thinking just to guarantee he#wouldn’t get asked anything because he still has a hard time believing it’s real he keeps thinking jamie’ll be there especially w/his ankle#i’m sure he doesn’t have a great time with stairs so he probably will nap on the couch sometimes and that moment right when he first wakes#up to the bang of the door and he doesn’t quite know he’s awake yet and he thinks it’s jamie coming in? heartbreaker right there bud. sorry#ALSO because I can’t say it and leave it alone I almost put that last bit strictly in the tags but like. there’s gotta be some part of#trevor that knows it’s nothing to do with him but still naïvely believes that if he’d maybe been there if he hadn’t been injured things#could have worked out differently if he’d been there and it’s his fault his ankle broke and do you remember all the interviews jamie gave#about how you never think you’ll be traded and how strange it is to be moving and now i need you to take that naïveté times 1000 for trevor#who of course he never even pictures jamie leaving they were building the core together!!! why would they ever get rid of him!! and if only#trevor had been there to show how important jamie was. what would he have done? literally nothing but that does not stop the emotional guil#from enveloping trevor like a rain cloud and making him sit in mason’s apartment with ice cream bowl in hand. holistic treatment l
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Recently saw a post in the Adam Taurus tag (an exercise in patience, that tag) that claimed that the signs of Adam not actually caring for the Faunus cause start as early as the Black Trailer. Their evidence?
Blake: What about the crew members?
Adam: What about them?
They proposed that the lack of concern Adam felt for the SDC crew whilst knowing that Faunus were often employed against their will meant he always put his revenge above the needs of the Faunus
Let me tell you, my jaw dropped at the stupidity
The way they went on, you'd think he was about to kill a small nation's worth of SDC workers, but like.
Babe.
It's a cargo train. Their skeleton crew barely has bones
According to the Association of American Railroads, the standard practice is a two-person crew, a locomotive engineer and a conductor, but it's not uncommon to have a crew of one. It would undoubtedly suck to be one of those guys if Adam had succeeded, but it's not the unbridled massacre people seem to think it is
As for the Faunus angle, I highly doubt any slave would be given the skills of either of those positions, much less left in charge of who knows how much lien's worth of name brand products, so no danger of accidentally eliminating the unfortunate kin there. Had they been Faunus that did join the SDC of their own volition, then they's be SOL just like the humans
I'm so tired of people making shit up or blowing things out of proportion to justify their Adam hate
#rwde#seems like adams really picking up speed lately. whats up w the resurgence?#i mean I'm writing an essay on him so obvs thats why i won't shut up abt him but whats everyone elses deal?#anyway id really like these adam haters to put themselves in his shoes for a hot minute#child slave. branded and blinded in one eye. forever labeled as schnee property. spent years freeing faunus from literal cages in sdc mines#you really expect him to give a drunk rat's ass abt anyone willingly working for the schnees? i fucking wouldn't#the real question people should be asking is why the fuck were they gonna blow the train up instead of stealing the dust?#were the writers not thinking abt the consequences of igniting an entire trainful of dust at once?#itd leave an interesting crater for sure but to what end? if they steal it the dust and bots can be sold/traded/hacked/reverse engineered#but thats been the problem w rwby since the literal beginning: there was never any thought put into why people are doing the things they do#whys torchwick stealing all the dust in vale? 🤷♂️ what does weiss intend to do w the family company? 🤷♂️ what the dog doin? 🤷♂️#this isnt writing. its typing. and it's pathetic
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ive definitely talked about this story before but the one time i dated like just a regular cis girl i threw up on all three of our dates in a row. and then i broke up with her LOL OOPS SORRY
#i genuinely dont know what my problem was. i think it was a mixture of like#okay. this stories so convoluted but i did Not like this girl. i had a crush on our mutual friend who i was like. i dont know. we werent#fwb's but me and her would make out pretty regularly and she said i helped her realize she was trans and it was like a Thing but also she#scared the fuck out of me once because she was like LETS PUT A DEAD BIRD INFRONT OF (girl this stories about) FRONT DOOR#and i was like !?!?!?!? NO. WHAT THE FUCK?!#and she called me a pussy so i walked home. okay thats unrelated. anyways i did not like the cis girl she liked shame dawson and believed#ghosts were real and said my autism was probably caused by the fact that i had an oujia board (...a 2021 version from hasbo i bought at a#toy store. i was like dude shut up) but anyways she asked me out while she was my only ride out of town and i was scared she was going to#leave me there so i said yes. anyways. i threw up in her car on the way home LOL#AND EVERYONE HAD TO RIDE HOME IN MY PUKE. SOIRRY GUYS#and then we went to taco bell for a date and i had like some sort of weird neurological episode and projectile vomited in the bathroom for#an hour and fucking. someone who worked there asked me if i needed them to call 911 and the worker was A GUY WHO WAS BULLYING ME AT MY#FUCKING SCHOOL.AND I WAS LIKE NO I CANT FUCKING AFFORD AN AMBULENCE DO NOT CALL THEM#uhhhh and then on our third date it was at a round table and we were on a double date w our shared friends and eventually they pulled me#aside and were like dude i dont like the way she talks to you its really weird. and that was enough to make me barf in the bathroom and#immediately break up with her#ANYWAYS...#. JDSMGKJDSBHGMKDSJGHUFDOIJHU#I WAS DOING THAT FUCKING SOUTHPARK BIT FOR REAL
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watched first light around the case, which i am refusing to engage with mentally for my own sanity (❤️) and sorry but i hate to report that s26 character work is good now. whatever the hell is going on with the rollins-carisi-olivia of it all (feat. a renegade CURRY?) as sonny continues to flame out post cornered is insane, a feast for those with eyes to see. i want five more of them immediately.
#sports utility vehicle#'wake up carisi! come back!' HELLO???????????#how did any of you watch that scene and go ':( i dont like it!'#sorry. the coordinated team work. the way olivia has her back up to fight with him on purpose for therapeutic reasons leaving the softer#touch to amanda. which is a strategy they are clearly working out together in real time to handle him w work split between their skillsets.#is W I L D 4d chess i need you all to get on board with immediately.
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Also every time I meet w her cos she's in the Inner Circle she dishes w me abt how the bosses think im doing and im somewhat of a teachers pet 😇
#like everyone trusts me n thinks im doing well and likes me hehe😇#why wouldnt they tho i ammmm fffuucckiingggg amazing holy shit#the way the universe is aligning to make sure i know just how great i am........thank u#like#wow. WOW‼️#ohhhhh ok once again the hard work is paying off..#as it always does..ok..ok....#lmao i get to reap all this shit ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!!!!!#I WASNT JUST PLANTING SEEDS FOR NO REASON I GET FRUIT FOR ALL MY LABOR?!??!!?!?!?!?@?@?#what a concept#ok night lol#AND TOMORROW IS PAYDAY#i was wrong btw i have NOT been having raise money to spend i just wasnt leaving early all the damn time and getting my full hours LMAO#SO. excited to see what a real paycheck w this raise is like 😳🤑
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I’m not gonna be able to fucking stand it I gotta write Naruto fanfiction the brain worms are so powerful and all consuming I feel like a crazy person
#I’m thinking. au where it’s Naruto that finds him after the fight w Itachi instead of madara#IF THAT IS HIS REAL NAME#it still goes the same way and Sasuke eventually leaves and meets up w madara anyway so nothing changes#but I thought it would be fun to have a little interlude of sasunaru and especially angsty when it doesn’t work#because rn I have the feeling that if Naruto could just get to him he’d fix him and everything would be fine#but I think it would be juicy for Naruto to get to him to have the opportunity to try to fix him#and STILL fail#and by fun and juicy I mean pain and angsty of course#postcards from stupid town#Naruto
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hope the president of my uni dies in a fire btw ✌️
#hes resigned already but still here until a replacement comes in#fuck this guy for real#'peaceful protests for palestine are happening on campus so we closed down campus for everyone'#'a gathering and encampment sprung up in a business area only technically part of campus so we yelled at them to leave and when then didnt'#'we just sent a fuck ton of cops armed to the teeth and in riot gear to bombard this small group w tear gas and rubber bullets'#'no significant injuries (to anyone we care abt) though so all is well!'#'we will keep heavily policing this fucking Public Institution and Open Campus for the next two weeks. all cops are allowed to attack#without warning restraint or reason. nothing was done abt the counter protestors who were violent n yelling slurs btw we love free speech!'#hate this man SO much#ran the uni into a fucking budget crisis and cause so many layoffs alrwady and now this shit???#die in a fucking fire. get the inisde of ur shitty mansion eggs. get run over by 18 cars.#genuinely so enraged im trying to had to be professional at work but i wanna start biting people#fuck this uni and fuck the admin. pres robbins die faster challenge#rambles#sorry this is negative but a lot has happened in the past two days and im so angry
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“how could richie’s family possibly want to avenge him when he groomed and murdered people” well first of all he did neither of those things so let’s start there
#not for lack of trying mind you#he just failed spectacularly in both respects#amber was dogwalking him and richie had ONE count of one victim to handle#excluding sam at the hospital#and well. he did not get her! 😭#i refuse to attribute vince or wes to him idgaf#sure yeah makes total sense that the guy who was across town at the hospital#would sneak out while his gf is asleep go stab this dude clean up come back sit down put on a movie#all without disturbing anything or being noticed#versus the chick who was already at the bar. and supposed to be heading home LMFAO#same w wes n judy bc#amber was already at the house#richie was across town w a half eaten pizza cozy laid up watching yt#‘but the kill styles-’ be serious. we are all grown.#i should not have to tell you that one person can hold/use a knife in two diff ways on two diff occasions. as if amber was like#physically incapable of jabbing the knife in once and leaving bc she went too stab happy every other time b4.#i dont doubt he did a lot of the phone calls but the physical work??#nah. brother he was just there for the ride. accessory at most kinda#how is he a serial killer if he made some calls while his girl killed everyone#if richie watched amber cook would that make him a chef??#okay but in all seriousness kinda 😭#wrt that OR the grooming which. im not even gonna get into.#argue w the wall or radio silence bc ur not finna argue w me!#when its CONFIRMED she just manipulated richie into believing it was his idea!#i do believe he thought he WAS in fact playing her. he was just wrong bc she had him by the balls like 😭#richie INNOCENT except not bc he was the real victim but bc he literally#tried and failed 95% of the time at villainy 😭#still outsold j*ll but thats another matter!#ceci speaks
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in my quest to maybe move back to providence after 20 years, im looking at jobs down there and damn i think i might be better off financially pivoting to carpentry/construction work for a while
#messages from the ouija board#the biggest two hurdles there are 1) gender. on multiple levels. but maybe i could get my dad to put in a good word for me w an old contact#bc he seems to know every tradesman in rhode island somehow. a#but like. every manual labor job ive ever had other than assisting my dad. gender has become a Problem. and itll probably be worse now#and then 2) id have to get a vehicle and all the bells and whistles w that#though idk maybe i could ask my coworker marty about how to get into stage carpentry#bc hes trans and seems to be doing well in it#ive always enjoyed manual labor stuff like i love painting i love demo work i loved repairing tombstones i love building shit#but the few times ive actually been hired by people who arent family its been a real struggle to be taken seriously#in one case i got harassed (over being a 'woman') into leaving#and in another it just made the guys on the crew increasingly uncomfortable 'having a girl around' and when the current job wrapped up#i just got ghosted. no telling me where the next job was. no returning my calls. nothing.#and im scared of that happening again. but also. the money seems way better than museum work wrt what im qualified for
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look
i never claimed to be smart
#my art#batsy art#to clarify this is NOT a conversation i had w said partner#i simply got custody of our joint braincell about 5 minutes after going 'wow! lots of grif requests neat!' and had the realization that yea#ding dong dumbass its in your FUCKING NAME#my red is showing leave me alone#im gonna continue the requests tomorrow btw theres some real fun ones still in my inbox that im looking forward to working on im just#pacing myself and also bullying myself so you know
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aouuugh my uterus......
#long long day at work codeine wasnt helping with cramps and my meds are less effective on my period :(#ive been doing okay most of the day tho just starting feeling kind of miserable omw home bc such a long wait at the bus stop in pain#and im kind of lonely at the moment but wont be able to climb tomorrow bc of cramps so thats my main social source gone :(#and it always feels worse at home bc if im having a hard time like in physical pain or feeling down my roommate cant rly handle it#like she cant rly be in the room with me the headphones go straight on. which is ok im realising its just how her type of autism works#so im trying not to get as upset at her abt it. with varying degrees of success but it just takes time#i mean i dont get upset AT her like ik its not her fault and i dont want her feeling like it is. I keep it internal + cry once im alone#just different social needs n boundaries innit. we're a bit incompatible is all#but its still hard. I'd like support from other ppl when I'm struggling i mean i think thats a fairly normal thing to want#but of the friends I would be comfortable talking to abt how i feel none of them have that kind of emotional availability#which again is ok like its not on them. and im very capable of dealing w my shit myself one way or another so its not a Need#but idk. it would just be nice. I feel like I've had to be so independent most of my teenage and adult life and I wish I could take a#break from that sometimes. even just a hug would be nice man#sorry i always come on here and talk abt the same problems... well youll see me do it again no doubt abt that 🫠#ughh and i feel so guilty for wanting things ppl cant give even though i know its not really my fault either and im allowed to want things#and i dont cross boundaries or make them feel bad abt it. i really hope i dont anyway. but still ahhh...#its so hard for me to feel connected to anyone if they cant rly engage w me emotionally at all like its a non negotiable#factor into closeness and trust for me and i get so frustrated bc i feel so distant and alienated from the ppl i care abt most#and ik i overreact bc of my rsd so maybe its just that its probably not even a real issue. but its real to me bc im the one who gets upset#man. anyway its okay just a really really long day. im gonna wash my dishes and then shower#and finish my book. maybe i should play some dead cells i miss it. i dont really want to think abt how i feel anymore#maybe ill see if anyones free to hang out tmr evening so i dont have to feel as lonely even if i cant leave the house after work#all good nice to have a plan anyway. done sniffling. my hot water bottle is helping thr cramps a littlr i think#.diaries#oh i dont think its helping actually ow. i took more codeine an hour ago why doesnt it do anything. not fairrr 😭
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