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Anybody else creeped out when friends of their parents (50+ yr olds) come up out of the blue and say “Man, if I was 20 yrs younger” or something along those lines, as if it’s a compliment? Like you, a middle aged/old man, just came up to a 22 yr old in front of her mother and essentially said you were sexually attracted to them. In public. Yet my Mom’s standing there like it’s just a cute folksy thing to say.

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Once more for those in the back.

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Well, we all know what happens next…

I'm sorry but this is so funny

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A humble question for my followers…?

Would any of you be interested in me posting some of my original writing…? Should I do a synopsis post for some of my novel oc’s…? Would you all like me to design them in Artbreeder…?

I just have a lot of ideas while I consider self-publishing and I’d just like to know if anyone might enjoy it if I shared my work 😁

Or should I perhaps open a separate blog dedicated solely to that and drop a link for it…???

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Just watched Encanto and realized why all of Gen-Z/Millennials resonated with it’s message so well…

Our parents will never apologize and give us closure for mentally abusing us the way Abuela did.

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I don’t know whose mans this is next to my leg, but he seems chill

picrew time!!!!

@phil-dwyer-stan-account @paulxlahotee @teamjacobthot @the-golden-onion @big-idiot-wolf-boys @rinnderella @leahcee @leahclearwaterdefensesquad @leahclearwlwater

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Okay, hear me out. The Lord of the Rings…but they’re allowed to use curse words…

“They have a fucking cave troll...”

“I cannot jump the distance! You’ll have to fucking toss me!”

“Merry! It’s Frodo fucking Baggins!”

“Gods damn it…a Balrog of fucking Morgoth.”

“Fool of a fucking Took.”

“Bitch, please. I am no man.”

“Peregrin Took, you little shit!”

“By nightfall, these hills will be crawling with fucking orcs.”

“I think I’ve fucking broken something.”

“Your bodyguard?” “His fucking gardener.”

“I would cut off your head, you little shit, if it stood but a little higher from the ground.”

“You’re late…you look fucking terrible.”

“And for you Frodo Baggins…Elrond’s father in a fucking bottle.”

“PO-FUCKING-TA-TOES!”

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Town Witch AU where a bright and youthful sorceress fresh out of her training and Ascension moves to Forks, Washington to take over for the medicine woman who recently passed under mysterious circumstances…

Living outside of town on the property left behind by the former mistress of the wood, the reader takes up shop in a lovely, modern chic home designed by a local architect who would be the very first to invite her to dinner after a tour of the property…

During the course of her first year, she would ease her way into the lives of the local townsfolk. Selling herbal remedies for joint pain, charms for young girls in love, candles to ward off vile spirits. Quickly earning herself a reputation as a sort of miracle worker. And of course, she would see to the needs of the local Wolf Pack, as well as the coven of Vampires who called themselves the Cullens if only to keep the peace between them as her predecessor had before her arrival…

And who would come to her for help when her world turned upside down? Why a young girl with no frame of reference for actual boundaries. Breaking into her home only to tell her all about the vampire breaking into her own to watch her sleep…you know, because that isn’t a very obvious red flag…

There in, taking pity on the naive girl, the reader resolves to take her under her wing. Giving her a part time job as well as her protection from outside entities by not only allowing her to help out with her practice, but also teaching her a thing or two about practical uses for everyday spells…

Naturally however, the girl wouldn’t keep her distance from her sparkly stalker and chaos would ensue from wars with nomadic wanderers, to Newborn Vampires and eventually even the greatest thorn in the reader’s side, the Volturi…

Oh, yeah! And a few years into her stay? The very moment things begin to calm down after said naive girl gets turned following the birth of a blood-hungry baby with the worst name ever…?

This guy ^^^ would decide to imprint on her the day he comes back from college…

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Accountant AU where the reader works for a small town firm called “Istari Financial.” Making her living after coming home from college, looking after the books for the following local businesses…

The local vineyard, “Greenwood Acres” which has been around longer than anyone can remember, run by a single father as head of the business and a very dedicated team of young employees. Everyone from college hires to long time employees, but nobody in town can quite tell just how old anyone is.

A local business ring run by the Durinson Family who own nearly every business in town. The local brewery, the auto repair shop, the car dealership, the pawn shop, etc. They run everything as a family, but all answer to the head of the family, a bachelor who’s yet to get married as he’s “married to his work.” Though, he secretly has his eyes set on someone in town. Who though? Nobody knows…

The bakery at the center of town, called “Lorien Confection” where the man behind the counter greets customers, serves icecream and brags about his wife while the white witch in the kitchen rolls out goodie after goodie by the dozen of sugar-coated goodness. The baker earning the title of witch as she always seems to know what people want before they do.

The coffee/tea shop doubling as a wholistic whole foods store run by three best friends who rejected their respected posh lifestyles and struck out on their own straight out of college to bring clean, organic food to the town sourced from local farms. A store called “Three Hunters Whole Foods.”

A fish farming organization called “Bard & Son Fishery,” that works hard to protect local wildlife conservation run by a father of three which provides clean, non-gmo fish, hydroponic-grown greens, vegetables and strives to teach young people about respecting the planet and sustainable farming on field trips for the local elementary school.

And who could forget the local bar/restaurant, run by the Baggins family, Uncle and Nephew, along with their friends who provide an atmosphere of home and hearth hospitality to any and all who cross their threshold…right up until somebody asks them to host a party that doesn’t involve their catering.

And last but not least, the readers worst enemy, “Mordor Credit,” the local bank out to screw everyone over and take their businesses. The reader often times being the only thing standing between them and a hefty audit…or worse, an eviction…



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Pieces of my Picrew Art (Part 3)

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Coffee shop AU where Boba Fett owns a café called “Boba’s Tea” where they obviously sell boba, Polynesian treats, latte art, assorted pastries and is home to the following employees...

A single dad with a shady past attending community college classes at night for a degree in linguistics who works in the café to help support his very quiet son, Grogu (Gregory who can’t pronounce his own name) with deep olive skin.

A former military sniper turned chef who served with Boba in a civil war they refuse to ever speak of again and takes her kitchen cleanliness as seriously as she does the condition of her knife collection.

An Instagram influencer with multiple medals in martial arts who has a food content TikTok where she displays her latte art whenever she isn’t being yelled at for being on her phone, but with all the business her two and a half million followers bring in? Boba feels it’s a worthy compromise.

A tech/engineering major with an on-call IT job during the week and teaches Taekwondo on Saturdays. Helped Boba set up a website for the café, an espresso machine broke while he was there and fixed it in no time. Now, the “tech wiz” can work his magic every time the single dad “accidentally” breaks something else in the café for an excuse to see him again. He also occasionally babysits Grogu and teaches him how to code and a little martial arts to occupy his little brain.

And last but certainly not least, a divorced man who was a police officer in his younger days, turned barista in his retirement and loving every minute of it except for when he sees “them damn skateboarding kids” ruining the curbs outside with their wax or trying to track down the “dirt bags” who tagged the alley wall with “death watch” graffiti consistent with a local gang.

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I’m gonna need all my DND people out here to think on this theory I just came up with after watching Venom last night and rewatching the Baldur’s Gate 3 trailer this evening...

As we all know, the Mind Flayers are inherently evil, xeno-centric space Nazis born of a hentai-watcher’s kinky nightmare. Fortunately, we’re not here to discuss that description I just burned into your brain.

What we will discuss however are their tadpoles. The small, sea-lamprey-like spawn of the Mind Flayers who implant themselves into a brain and feed off of it until they eventually take over the host body. Whatever. We been done knew that already.

BUT! What if it were possible to form a symbiotic relationship with the tadpole? As in let it continue to live behind your eye so long as the host eats brains to feed the tadpole’s hunger while in exchange maintaining use of the critter’s psyonic abilities? I mean, why not, other than the thought that the tadpole would never mature and kill you?

I mean, if that’s what comes out of a Mind Flayer after their aesexual reproductive cycles, then isn’t that the true state of Mind Flayers? What they were before I suppose the first tadpole came upon a host on whatever home world they hail from?

So, forgive me if I’m wrong, but what creature would refuse absolute protection, endless sustenance and very little effort on its behalf to the end of its days? That’s basically like keeping a cat that just lives in your head!

Has no one else ever contemplated this idea, or am I just alone on this one because I think Venom is funny?

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Pieces of my Picrew Art... (Part 2)

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A few more of my Picrew art pieces...

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So, I’m really late to the party on this one...

Turns out, through all this time that I’ve been putting off my writing, because I was unable to properly envision my OC’s appearances in my head, I never knew about a little website by the name of picrew.me. It has changed the game...

What the hell, right? I just went on TikTok today and saw people posting with the available character creators and I felt like an idiot for two reasons:

Because I’m a writer, not an artist. I’m too impatient to sit for that long to draw out as many characters as I need to for my main original novels or the occasional fan fiction I write to test out new OC’s personalities.

Because I grew up playing “dress-up” games like every other member of my 2000’s baby generation (I’m 20) and I never for a moment thought of trying to find a program that might be able to do my art for me for free (not that I don’t support people going to freelance artists, I intend to seek one out for book covers soon, but I just lack the budget to get portraits done for the number of characters I have).

So, what the hell is wrong with me, right?

I’ve been wasting all of this time struggling with what I couldn’t see and now...? I’m writing more than ever and I’m not confused! It’s a huge weight off my shoulders and I finally intend to share a few of my creations to show off some of the different art styles offered by the selection of character customization programs...

My first example is Persephone from my latest endeavor into writing an X-Men story.

She’s a young mutant who was born into a Jewish family with the power to control and manipulate plant life. However, this ability didn’t develop until she turned ten and ran away from the hand of a violent father and straight into the care of a marooned alien. One we all know and love, Groot who crash landed on Earth (an event that will eventually lead him to Rocket in the years to come, but for now this moment is set before X-Men: Days of Future Past. Before Magneto’s speech is given on tv and life changes for mutants forever).

With the help of her mutation, she’s able to hide Groot’s true identity as an extraterrestrial. Claiming upon her arrival to Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters that she made him by accident when her mutant-phobic father raised a bat in hand to kill the "abomination" he'd brought into the world. Not that it was entirely a lie, she could replenish and understand him through her abilities. And we all know how protective our beloved seven foot tall tree monster can be of small, mostly defenseless, screaming creatures.

As for the details of her abilities, they follow thusly:

Her canine teeth are elongated and incredibly strong along with the rest of her chompers as her mutation affects her metabolism and she needs to eat a large amount of heavy protein to maintain her strength, meaning beef, chicken, eggs, fish, etc. She identifies as a carnivore, because eating uncooked veggies can get a little awkward when she can hear the cherry tomatoes in her salad talking. Asking not to be eaten. As a result, she takes classes and puts herself in charge of planning meals/grocery shopping for the team. She’d rather die than eat unseasoned food.

Her hair grows like a weed and resembles the color to boot. Flowing in lengths of green, but it changes with the seasons. Going from lime green in the spring, to emerald in the summer, red, yellow and chestnut in the fall and in the winter...seasonal depression kicks in with a force to turn her flowing tresses black as potting soil. This however can be treated with her depression through the use of stimulants, mood stabilizers and a cubic butt-load of coffee, because just like pine trees, her internal biome loves acidic foods.

Though, because of its composition and advanced growth rate, she keeps her hair teased neatly into locs and can be often found preening herself whenever she’s not grooming every last sprout and bud in the Manor’s greenhouse where she lives with Groot to keep him company. And depending on her mood, her hair can sprout flowers based on whatever she’s feeling. Anger will sprout a crown of thorns, heartbreak grows anemones and intense love could cause whole bushels of forget-me-nots to bloom in their mesmerizing blues and violets.

And who do they bloom for? For the very first time after years of attending Xavier’s school? After being kidnapped by and defeating Apocalypse? Saving Warren/Angel’s life...? Why of course it would be one Mr. Kurt Wagner, fresh out of the circus who would take one look at her green hair with freckled, clay-colored and his blue features would go straight to purple after the fight in realizing that he wasn’t alone. There were other mutants out there in the world who looked different and Percy...? She was nothing short of her namesake. A true Spring goddess who melted the moment he wandered lost into her green house and wasn’t afraid of Groot. Even after the giant tree tossed the boy across the room like a rag doll, thinking he was attempting to sneak up on his little green-thumbed friend...

Needless to say, they would hit it off, despite a few trials given the disapproval of her new best friend, Warren who was still bitter about Kurt accidentally burning his wings during the cage fight. Though, with the new, fluffy white ones that Percy would help him grow with a special herbal brew...? After the X-Men agreed to take him in an hide him from his family...? He really had no right to complain...

And you never know...maybe one day because of them, a new generation of X-Men might come into the world...

I was able to come up with all of this story because of Picrew, so if you’re struggling like I often do, why not give it a try? It’s totally free and even fun if that’s your sorta thing. So, feel free to let me know if any of you want me to show off anymore of my OC’s sometime. I’d be happy to oblige...

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When you’re trying to figure out how to fart silently in public

What’s the story behind this screencap? Reblog with your #screencaptions and we’ll be sharing them as we venture through the Fold to the Shadow & Bone premiere day on April 23rd. 

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My Mahariel would be over here bustin’ out that Dalish crazy straw with 8+ loops and an umbrella

it’s a secret ritual