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Coercion is not consent!

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Sometimes you just need someone to listen. We’re here to listen and you can stay completely anonymous. If you’re having a hard time or feel trapped, we can listen on our 1-800-786-2929 hotline or through our online chat services at https://www.1800runaway.org/. 

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If you need to talk, the National Runaway Safeline’s trained crisis hotline team is available 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) and on our online chat at https://www.1800runaway.org/

gentle reminder

i know that some thoughts that you may have are terrifying, but please know that you’re safe right now, and things are going to be okay

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If you are experiencing emotional abuse, please do not hesitate to reach out to our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929). We provide 24/7 confidential support and will listen to your story with no judgment. You deserve to be treated with love and respect.

Source: streetsmartwomen.com

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Learn to say NO to things and people that make you unhappy!!

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Try to focus on how far you’ve come, not how far you have to go.

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I just finished babysitting my friend’s children, and she has most definitely mastered the no spanking/alternative discipline route. I always talk about taking it because I don’t believe in abusing children, but I’ve never personally seen it in action by a Black parent. Her children are 2 and 5 and they are the kindest, nicest toddlers I’ve ever met. They listen to her because she’s their mom and they automatically recognize she’s important and she gives them what they want (love and affection and rewards). In return they like to clean for her and give her artwork and cuddles all of the time.

To get them to listen to her, she makes sure to listen to them and what they’ve got to say instead of telling them to shut up all the time. The 5 year old asked her a few months ago why you can’t eat food that was on the floor after picking up food on the floor, and she explained it calmly and clearly. He asked 4 other questions after that and she answered all of them. He was satisfied and happy with the answers, and ever since he hasn’t done those things. She lets them gush and gush about Hot Wheels or Team Umizoomi and engages with them and counts with them and everything, so they never feel alone or neglected enough to not want to obey.

My friend lets them make mistakes by themselves on the rare chance they don’t listen so they can learn from them and let that be punishment enough. For example, the younger one we’ve been telling not to go near the dog cage because he doesn’t like dogs. He went near it a while ago, got his hand licked, freaked out, and hasn’t been anywhere near it since. The board on the wall that she uses has a column for each boy horizontally, and vertically are all the traits she wants them to have, like being nice, listening to her and their teachers, eating their food, cleaning up, having manners, etc. They get a sticker whenever they do it for the day, and they lose all their stickers when they break a habit. That’s enough punishment for them, so they don’t break it.

When they wake up, it’s cleanup time, or bedtime, she plays what she calls “musical habits”. She puts on a playlist of their favorite songs (it’s like 20-25 minutes) that make them feel motivated, and they should be finished getting ready or cleaning by the time the last song is over. If they’re not, they get a toy from their toy bin taken away or an Oreo from their snack bag taken out (aka eaten by her). But she hasn’t ever gotten to that because they always finish. They don’t even like hearing the consequences lol. And I just wanted to say I really enjoyed seeing good parenting by a Black woman that wasn’t abusive or harmful to the child’s development, it gave me inspiration and hope. Just had to talk about it somewhere.

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You are not a tree. You do not have to stand there while the world abuses you. You can walk, run or dance away.

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“You are 18 now and it is time for you to be a man. You are not welcome in this home anymore.”

On the morning of his 18th birthday, Darius* woke to his stepfather bursting into his room.  “It’s time for you to go.  You have until noon and then you need to get out of this house.”

This came as a shock to Darius.  Although he and his stepfather had never gotten along, he was surprised that he would be put out with no warning. He told his stepdad he wanted to talk to his mother.  “No.  She doesn’t want to speak to you.  You are 18 now and it is time for you to be a man. You are not welcome in this home anymore.”

Darius gathered a few belongings and left the house.  “I didn’t want a fight and I was scared if I didn’t do what he said then he was going to beat me.” Darius had been having problems at home since his mom got remarried, but everything escalated when his mother got pregnant when he was 16. After his half-sister was born, he felt increasingly unwelcome by his mother and his stepfather. His home became downright hostile.

Transition to adulthood and supporting oneself is a major challenge that every young adult must face.  Young adults from 18-25 are at a high risk for becoming homeless when they don’t have support. Darius had a part-time job at an auto parts store, and he had been looking forward to the independence that comes with being a legal adult.  He was graduating from high school in two months, and had plans to attend college the next fall.

Although he was in constant conflict with his stepfather, and he admitted he had a hard time coming home before curfew and keeping up with chores, being kicked out on his birthday came as a huge shock to Darius.

Darius packed a backpack and went to a friend and neighbor’s house. The neighbor called NRS and asked for a list of homeless shelters in their town for an adult male. NRS’ volunteer, Callie*, took a look at the database; there were several shelters and transitional living programs in the area, but to figure out which ones the youth would be eligible for, she needed to ask more questions.  Callie asked the neighbor if the youth wanted to talk; ��the phone was handed over to Darius.  Callie noted that he seemed to struggle to find words, and that his speech was quiet and slow.  “Your friend told me a bit about your situation, that you need somewhere to stay. That sounds pretty scary, and we are so glad that you called. We are here to help and I will stay on the phone as long as it takes to help you make a plan.  How are you feeling?”

Darius was able to open up to Callie about what happened, and about how shocked and panicked he felt.  He felt like his mother chose her new family over him, and nobody cared about what happened to him.

“It is totally understandable to feel that way.  You don’t deserve that, and we are so sorry to hear that this happened on your birthday.”

Callie called a few shelters and found one that had beds available for that night if Darius could get there in the next couple of hours.  She put Darius on the line with the intake worker at the shelter, and together they worked out a plan for Darius to get there.  Before ending the call, she made sure Darius knew he could call NRS back if he needed to talk or if he needed any more resources.

For too many youth, the transition to becoming a legal adult comes with a loss of support which can lead to homelessness.  NRS is available 24/7 if you or someone you know needs housing resources.

Call 1-800-RUNAWAY or visit https://www.1800runaway.org  to get help. Our trained Crisis Services Team is available 24/7 o provide free, confidential and non-judgmental support.

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It’s easy to feel that the situation is out of control when being bullied, however, there are both small and big steps you can take to end it. We can help you explore your options. The National Runaway Safeline is available 24/7 to help you. Call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online at https://www.1800runaway.org.

Bullying in the age of the internet

Bullying that happens online can be just as harmful as other bullying — and sometimes it’s even worse. That’s because it’s hard to get away from and it can reach people no matter where they are or what they’re doing.

What can I do if I’m being bullied online?

Getting bullied on social media or through text messaging can feel really terrible. Being connected to your phone, tablet, or computer all the time means that a bully can sneak into your life and make it feel like there’s no safe place to be. But there are things you can do to help stop online bullying.

Change your privacy settings. Make sure that all of your social media accounts have very strict privacy settings. Set your accounts to “friends only” or “private.”

Block and un-friend. Block any harassing accounts, email addresses, or phone numbers.

Keep your personal details private. Don’t post your home address, phone number, school name, or any other personal information about yourself.

Take a break from your phone or computer. If it feels like the online bullying just won’t stop, take a break from social media. Turn off your phone or put it out of your sight.

Save harassing emails, texts, or messages. Take screenshots of harassment. This can be important evidence down the line.

Report bullying where it happens. Report online abuse to Facebook or Twitter if you’re bullied on those platforms. You can report to other site admins if you’re bullied on their sites.

Tell an adult that you trust. Talk with a parent, teacher, coach, counselor, or someone who you think will be supportive. Adults can only help if they know about the problem.

Don’t respond to mean or threatening messages. This can make bullying worse.  Also, you could get in trouble if you make threats back.

Report serious threats to the police. If someone threatens your safety or shares sexual pictures or video of you, report it to the police immediately.

It may be hard to care about a bully’s feelings, but people who bully are often in pain and insecure about themselves. So they might be unfairly taking their bad feelings out on you. It isn’t right, but it might help to remember that their mean actions are not about you. Their bullying is probably about their own issues or insecurities. You’re valuable. You’re important to this world. And no matter what anyone might say, you didn’t do anything to deserve this.

Check out more tips about everything from relationships to masturbation in our Teen Survival Guide>>

-Emily and Kendall at Planned Parenthood

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Just because you’re young doesn’t mean your stress isn’t real

We’ll listen to your story without judging you. Call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online at https://www.1800runaway.org/. The National Runaway Safeline’s trained and compassionate team is available 24/7 to listen and help.

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Self care is not selfish.💞

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Gaining Control Back in Difficult Situations

Difficult situations can make you feel powerless and as if you have no control. However, there are both big and small ways you can gain back control. Reach out to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or via online chat at www.1800RUNAWAY.org. We’re here to listen as a confidential, non-judgmental resource for you.

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Don’t separate your class by gender or sex, it can make trans* students very uncomfortable and it completely writes off individuals that do not identify in the gender binary. You can’t tell how someone identifies from how they look, and their experiences could differ wildly from your own.

Share on Facebook. Retweet. Learn more.

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Who Would Be On Your Bus?

Imagine you’re on a school bus with all the people who are most important when it comes to making decisions about your life. Once you can visualize it, think about the following questions:

Who is on that bus?

Why are they important to you?

Are there some that have more influence than others?

Are these people/groups you can count on when you are in trouble or in need?

Do they help you make good decisions? Always? Most of the time? Sometimes? Never?

Do you feel good about the decisions they help you make? What does that mean for you?

Identifying the people in your life who positively support and keep you safe is important as unfortunately, not everyone has your best interests in mind. If you feel lost and as if there is no one truly dependable on your bus, give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or online at https://www.1800runaway.org.

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If you need a timeout, take it. If you need to disappear, to disconnect, to log off, to take a vacation, to just simply exist and rest—do it. Healing begins with you.

Alexandra Dukat, “It’s OK to Take a Step Back” (via twloha)