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Rhodey: Don't worry, nobody else is going to ask Pepper out

Tony: Why?

Rhodey: Because Pepper is terrifying

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Bruce meeting Tony and Clint after a mission: I didn't bring my medical stuff

Bruce: I wasn't expecting you two to be this incompetent...

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Peter: I’m having problems with this person...

Natasha: Kill them

Peter: No

Natasha: Then I will kill them for you

Peter: NO!

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Scott: Lets switch the initials in our names

Tony: Sony Ttark

Clint: Blint Carton

Steve: Rteve Sogers

Natasha: Ratasha Nomanoff

Bruce: Bruce Banner

Bruce:

Bruce: I didn’t want to play anyways

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Drax: Welcome to my very first vlog in which I try different hair products

Drax: [Spraying hairspray into his mouth]

Drax: I do not recommend

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Pepper: What was the one thing I told you not to do?

Tony: Burn down the house

Pepper: And what did you do?

Tony: Made you dinner

Pepper:

Tony:

Pepper:

Tony: And burnt down the house...

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Peter: [Writing Avengers fan-fiction]

Peter: Just a few seeds of angst in there

Peter: Wait

Peter: No, stop growing! That’s too much angst!

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Pepper: It was a freak accident!

Tony: Like adopting Harley

Peter: [Points at Harley] HA!

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Clint: Have I ever told you you’re a really nice person?

Tony: No

Clint: Good

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Peter: Accidentally does something illegal

Peter: [Dials 911] Hello? I would like to go to jail

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Steve: When I was your age we didn’t have cell phones

Peter: Yeah but you had other cool stuff

Tony: Like dinosaurs and Moses

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Pepper: Where’s Tony?

Bruce: He’s, uh... busy

Clint: Being an idiot

Pepper: What kind of idiot?

Clint: The ‘everything is now on fire’ kind

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Thor: The real treasure was the memories were made along the way

Loki: I almost died

Thor: Ah, yes, that was my fondest memory

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Harley: Change is inedible

Tony: Don’t you mean inevitable?

Harley spitting out pennies: No, I really didn’t

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Bucky: Love is dead. It never existed. Anyone that thinks otherwise is a fool

Steve: [Smiles]

Bucky: Hold up a second...

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Steve: Can you keep a secret?

Natasha: Do you know anything about my life?

Steve: No I do not, good point

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Peter: I’ve always been a little anxious

Peter: And then I died

Peter: That did not calm me down