lazy-queen

[lazy-queen]

In 2019, we’re going write emotionally healthy love stories. In 2019, our OTPs are going to say, “I can live without you—but I don’t want to.”

[lazy-queen]

Clark Kent be like

[lazy-queen]

so when i was 7 or 8 i’d “write letters to hermione granger” and set them out on the piano in the living room every night with my stuffed toy owl and every morning i’d have a letter from hermione back, sitting at the foot of my bed, and hermione and i corresponded like that for months and i’d just like to thank my mom for writing out a “letter from hermione” for me every single night

[lazy-queen]

Klaus -

Diego -

Luther -

Number Five -

Vanya -

Allison -

Bonus:

Pogo -

[lazy-queen]

Mom’s Work

[lazy-queen]

Snow White twist where Snow White is played by a dark-skinned woman with snow white hair

[lazy-queen]

the idea that humans are a garbage species is so obnoxious no one talks about the peaceful parts of history and prehistory because they aren’t as exciting as us killing each other but um homo sapiens have been doing awesome things all over for a long time….we survived the fucking ice age…we made it through the sinai desert….we shared the savana with big cats before we ever made a weapon, we wove baskets from literal plants and halved blades from flint to handles we made, carved harpoons from bone and fought megafauna for our loved ones, cooked food and took care of the elderly and buried our dead, painted pictures and shared stories, built homes from clay and mud and straw, made instruments so we could dance and sing…it is so easy to focus on the negative and i get it ok we are in the middle of a mass extinction event that specific humans are at fault for but listen: they don’t want you to remember it hasn’t always been like this…we were and are so much more than evil

[lazy-queen]

I’m right and I should say it

[lazy-queen]

Player: I want to seduce the dragon!

DM:

Player:

[lazy-queen]

That's really interesting, thanks for explaining! In Brazil the most popular restaurant (at least in my experience) is the self service, where you only put what you think you can eat. Some places even fine you if you left some on the plate. Of course in familly restaurants where the portions are for families or couples if a bit is left you can take it home. But most places have a menu for one or two or more so you can choose and not leave/waste food.

Note to vacationing non-Americans: while it’s true that America doesn’t always have the best food culture, the food in our restaurants is really not representative of what most of us eat at home.  The portions at Cheesecake Factory or IHOP are meant to be indulgent, not just “what Americans are used to.”

If you eat at a regular American household, during a regular meal where they’re not going out of their way to impress guests, you probably will not be served twelve pounds of chocolate-covered cream cheese.  Please bear this in mind before writing yet another “omg I can’t believe American food” post.

[lazy-queen]

self care for when you hit rock bottom

i fucking hate self care posts made by neurotypicals so here’s one from someone who Actually Gets It

-can’t shower or take a bath? me either. dry shampoo can make your hair look and feel cleaner, and baby wipes or makeup wipes work great to get the top layer of grime off your skin.

-can’t wash your sheets and make your bed? i feel you. push your blankets out of the way and shake the crumbs off your sheet. it will at least be a bit more comfortable.

-can’t even change out of your dirty pajamas? been there. hit yourself with some febreeze and a lint roller. if you can, brush your hair. if you can’t, hair ties and bobby pins are fantastic.

-can’t make anything to eat? same. if you can, there’s no shame in ordering food. in fact, it’s probably better you eat something rather than go hungry. if you can’t, try and find something that comes pre-made or takes minimal effort to make. at the very least, drink some water.

can’t respond to messages or reach out for help? yeah, i get that. set an alarm for a few hours from now and respond to any messages you need to once you’ve given yourself time to prepare. if they’re Important Messages that need Professional Responses, you can find fill-in-the-blank format rough drafts on google. as far as personal messages go, don’t feel bad for sending a mass “I’m sorry, I’m in a personal emergency right now. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.” response to everyone.

-can’t even sleep because it’s so bad? asmr videos always knock me out, personally, but i also watch a lot of bob ross. just try to find something quiet and soothing to use as background noise and take your mind off it, or at least give you a more peaceful environment to think about it.

-can’t go for a walk/drive? try opening the blinds or curtains. you’re still exposing yourself to the outside world. baby steps. (i also play animal crossing or sims; it may be virtual but fuck it. i went on a walk.)

-can’t go into work/school? let people know. let your coworkers or classmates know it’s an emergency and you can’t make it. give yourself up to two days, but then you have to go back. ask to have your work emailed to you so you know what you missed.

-can’t brush your teeth and wash your face? makeup or baby wipes and gum or mouthwash. don’t let yourself physically rot bc you’re rotting emotionally.

-remember that you’ve been here before. if you survived then you can survive now. that’s what this is about- survival. you don’t have to be living your Best Life. right now, it’s more than enough that you’re alive.

[lazy-queen]

If you have a minute, donate a free Valentine’s Day card to a sick child, it’s completely free and will make somebody very happy 💕

[lazy-queen]

can everyone plz wish my parents a safe flight tomorrow morning to the isle of man cos my dad’s ban from visiting the island has been lifted finally after 40 all cos he fired a bottle rocket at the queen of england when he was a teenager

[lazy-queen]

Everyone talks about how Jesus drove the money changers and merchants out of the temple, but everyone glosses over the fact that he took the time to braid a whip. That would have taken a couple hours. I have braided leather before, and it takes a lot of time and effort. It may have even taken more than one day, all scripture says is, “And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple-“ there isn’t a time period given. But I would still say it was at least a few hours. he had to braid multiple cords, bind them together, make a handle, and fix the cords to the handle.

The point of this is that what he did was NOT impulsive. It was cold and calculated. Premeditated even.

[lazy-queen]

i personally think its pretty crazy that karl marx actually knew what was gonna happen to us back in 1850 like this guy comes out of nowhere at what the fuck o'clock and goes, capitalism is going to creep into every single crevice of your lives there will be nothing left and all creativity and integrity will be taken away like. he just said that    and it was correct

[lazy-queen]

*opens tinder*

*sees the name “Brantleigh”*

*closes tinder*

[lazy-queen]

a collection of tweets, part 17

(the series)