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Jinx: Here comes the lightning!

Jinx, whispering: You've got to imagine it coming out my fingertips, wherein I am an almighty wizard.

Silco: Ok, currently imagining that. Hmm, not bad. Not bad at all.

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Spite: Lucanis doesn’t deserve you. Spite: If he doesn't treat you right by now, you're gone. Rook: I'm gone. Spite: Now go chop his dick off!

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Rook: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out? ;) Lucanis: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

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Lucanis, trying to sneak out after spending the night with Rook:

Viago, twirling a vial of poison: What are you doing here?

Lucanis: …I could ask you the same question.

Viago: I live here. This is my house.

Lucanis: I should probably ask you a different question.

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V: Know why I called you in here? Johnny: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic. V: *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?

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*Rook is crying after a breakup* Lucanis: There there, Rook. Rook, still crying: Thanks, but how did you get in my room? Lucanis: Great question—

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Karlach: *about Gale and Tav* They make a cute couple, huh? Astarion: They certainly are standing next to each other.

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Shepard: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine. Liara: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again. Shepard: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?? Liara: Is it working?

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Gavin: How do I tell Connor that I want him to yell at me like he's Gordon Ramsay and I'm a poor little chef who just ruined a crème brûlée?

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WOL: Why does Alisaie always do the laundry so loudly? Alphinaud: So everyone knows that no one helps her out in the house. Alisaie, in the distance: *slams the washing machine shut*

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Gale: I'm gonna eat the chicken breasts! Wyll, snickering: Yeah, eat what you lack. Lae'zel, deadpanning at Wyll: Then maybe I should order brains on delivery for you.

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Connor: Listen, in the wild wild west there is always a woman in the saloon and nobody messes with her even though they all have guns. RK900: That's because she's a prostitute.

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Astarion: sapnu puaS. Tav: What?? Karlach: What language is that. Astarion: Turn your phone 180 degrees. *Astarion was removed from the groupchat*

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Zevran: We need a diversion. I say the Warden gets naked. Wynne: No. Zevran: I could get naked. The squad: NO!!!

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Hermes: I love your top, Emet-Selch! Azem: I have a name, you know. Emet-Selch: *sighs* Why. Why are you like this.

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Shadowheart: We need to open this locked door. Gale, give me your credit card. Gale: Here. Shadowheart, pocketing it: Thanks. Karlach, break down the door.

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Astarion: So, how long have you and Gale been together? Tav: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Gale and I are not together. No. No. Astarion: Really? Sixteen ‘no’s? Really?