#mass effect incorrect quotes

[case-for-shame]

Shepard: *sneaks through at 2 AM*

Kaidan, ficking on a light and turning around in a chair: You wanna tell me where you were?

Shepard: I-I was with, uh, Garrus!

Garrus, turning around in a chair: You wanna try again?

[a-local-idiots-shitpost]

Grunt: Shepard isn't my parent

Tali: hey Grunt hide the booze I see Shepard

Grunt: (franticly fumbling around) don't tell them about this!

Tali: so much for them not being your parent

[incorrect-masseffect-quotes]

Garrus, prentending to joke: So when are you going to go out with me?

Shepard: I don't know. When are you going to ask me to?

(Later)

Tali: And then you just ran away?!

Garrus: I didn't expect her flirt back!!

[fandomnerd9602]

Tali: I love you but if I were to even kiss you id risk an infection

Y/N: I understand Tali

Y/N walks away…

Tali: where are you going?

Y/N: to buy all the Lysol, Clorox wipes and zinc tablets! I want you to stay healthy when I eventually kiss you!!

Tali: (blushes) I wish you could see how hard I’m blushing under my helmet

[ledilettant]

Garrus: Come on, Shepard, the Shadow broker thing isn't the problem. You and Liara just need to bone. Tali: [chuckles nervously] Shepard: What did you say? Tali: Don't say it again. Garrus: I said you two need to bone. Tali: [whimpers] Shepard: How dare you, Vakarian. I am your superior officer! [shouting, five minutes later] Bone! [sternly, ten minutes later] What happens in my bedroom, Vakarian, is none of your business. [shouting, twenty-one minutes later] Bone?! [calmly, forty minutes later] Don't ever speak to me like that again.

[fandomsareforincorrectquotes]

Shepard: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine. Liara: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again. Shepard: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?? Liara: Is it working?

[comfort-in-space]

Mass Effect Incorrect Quotes - Supernatural

Shepard and Kaiden finally having a talk after Shep being dead for 2 years and Kaiden giving her a cold shoulder.

Kaiden: What the hell happened to you guys?

Shepard: Cliff notes? I went to Purgatory. Joker hit a dog.

Kaiden: Like the “Purgatory” Purgatory

Shepard: Yea being partially dead will do that too you

Kaiden: Really?!

Shepard: No. The one on the citadel.

Kaiden: Right….

Kaiden: …..

Kaiden: wait Joker hit a dog?!

This barely makes any sense but I had this reference in mind after doing Aria t’loaks mission in ME3; this is probably only entertaining to me but just in case someone else appreciates it.

Reference under the cut

[bloedewir]

Do you remember that creepy Normandy-SR2 (Mass Effect) toilet design?

like.. how it actually works??

and who the hell let this to happened???? it must have been Joker. the only legit explanation I take on this.

The Illusive Man: and, ehm.. are you sure this is must be that way? The exact way it was before? It has to be design mistake or-

Joker: nah. Listen, is it you or me who was there? Totally accurate, I tell you.

The Illusive Man: ..if you say so, Mr Moreau.

[strawberrykidneystone]

(steve from satc voice) miranda?

[case-for-shame]

Kaidan: I am at a loss for words Shepard later: Despite being lost for words Kaidan yelled at me for the next 45 minutes

[a-local-idiots-shitpost]

Tali: (holding a shotgun) who is the real Shepard

CloneShep: she's the clone!

Shepard: Tali♡ ^-^

Tali: (shooting the clone) the real Shepard never passes up an oportunity to fawn over me

[incorrectly-quoted-queers]

Garrus: Shepard, I have a question Shepard: Ask away Garrus: I will warn that it does feel... strange Shepard: Just fucking ask, bud Garrus: Remember when we were walking through Chora's Den and asking those dancers about that merc we were after? Shepard: ...Yes? Garrus: Well when I got back to my bunk that night I found a note in my armor with information on how to contact her Shepard: So what, she has more answers for us? We should call her. Garrus: Shut up, I'm not finished. After her information, she wrote, "call me at night and read me the phone book, baby" Shepard: Garrus: Shepard: Garrus: What the fuck does that mean? Shepard:...You should read me the phone book one night and we'll find out Garrus: Shepard this isn't funny Shepard: Kinda funny Garrus: What is a phone book? Why would I read it? Shepard, giggling too hard: Garrus: Shepard! I'm serious! Shepard, struggling to breathe: I bet the food deliveries section would get particularly spicy Garrus: You know what, fuck you Shepard: I'm sure that's something the dancer would love to hear Garrus: Shepard: Garrus: She was hitting on me Shepard: Yes. Yes she was

[incorrect-masseffect-quotes]

Shepard: Who hurt you?

Tali: Do you want a list?

Shepard,cracking knuckles: Yes

[ledilettant]

Shepard; The best thing about bondind with an archaeologist is that the older i get the more she loves me.

[fandomsareforincorrectquotes]

Jack: Some people are like slinkies.

Thane: What?

Jack: Not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

Thane:

Thane: Please don't push Garrus down the stairs.

Jack, pushing Garrus down the stairs: Too late.

[clericofshadows]

REGIS SHEPARD MASS EFFECT 3 - JAVIK "Is this why you wish to continue living? For their affection?" "Without that "affection," all I have in my life is death. And that's not enough."