cchantellemarie-blog - Tumblr blog

[cchantellemarie-blog]

shamrocks responding to light

blog / insta

[cchantellemarie-blog]

Dream Too Big!! I dare you!!

Hey everyone. Back in fashionable time to post about being sober for two FUCKING years!! Two years! Prepare yourself for a brutally honest explanation of that.

I am always talking about how much sobriety has changed my life and all of the positive aspects that sobriety has brought INTO my life. Today, I want to shed light on the, not-so-positive things that have made their way into my life.

First: It’s extremely lonely.

Don’t get me wrong, I am perfectly capable of striking up a conversation with a stranger, but it is so difficult for me to make a real friend. Like, how do adults make new friends without going to the bar?

I don’t blame my job for not supplying me with new buddies to chill with and a place to go Friday night, but that’s something that I have always been blessed to come by with my previous jobs, working at a bar, or Spencer’s Gifts. Now I work in a fricken bank. Yes. The enemy of the state, big bank, corporate, ladder-climbing, financial institution... (More on this later.)

It’s going to come down to me joining some sort of club, or yoga class, that I’m going to have to pay for. I will literally be buying friends at that point. Plus, the pay out isn’t instantaneous. It will take months to build trust within a group before acceptance. I’ve learned this many times with multiple moves and schools as a child.

Sure, I’ve gone out by myself, to get coffee, or food, to a festival, the market, and all of these people-infested places, but somehow find it difficult to make a new friend. I feel like that part of me died. It’s sad, and I want it back, but I am struggling with finding the social butterfly that once lived within me. This kind of brings me to my next situation.

Second: My insecurities are on full blast.

I used to not give a shit about what people thought. And to a point, and societal standards, I still don’t. What I mean by this is that I am overly self aware. I am constantly doubting myself and questioning myself. What I say, how I sound to other people, how they portray me as a person.

I never used to care about these things, and if I did, I would have a couple drinks and then I wouldn’t fucking care anymore. Ya know? Then came loud ass, Chantelle. Overly opinionated and right about everything, yet I was so carefree, and free spirited.

Now I have no voice. Now I hide behind positive facebook posts and updating everyone on my accomplishments. {WHICH ARE AWESOME BY THE WAY and I am extremely proud of how far I’ve come.} There was just something that was blissful about being willfully ignorant and not giving a shit about pretty much anything.

Third: I care too much about OTHER people.

Not only have I started caring more about my actions and the way I’m portrayed, but I’ve caught myself in an ego trap a couple times about people who are still living a lifestyle that I’ve chosen to leave behind. I never mean any harm. I really don’t.

Something positive that I say I’ve gained, are boundaries. I have learned who I want surrounding me and who I DON’T want surrounding me. They say that you become like the 5 people you spend the most time with. So naturally, I have been extremely selective on who I want in my life.

This means that I’ve dropped friends. Friends I’ve had for many years. I’ve dropped them because they weren’t being supportive of my decisions to better my life. Any supportive friend, who knows you’ve been struggling to stay sober, wouldn’t take you out to the bar. Then while standing outside with them to smoke, because even though you quit smoking they are so co-dependent that they whine until you agree to inhale their second hand cancer you tried so hard to leave, AND THEN say “I have to pee, hold my drink.” And give you their half smoked cigarette and a full jamo and coke. who the fuck... no.

I’ve set boundaries.

I would have NEVER cared about that before. I would have gladly smoked their smoke, and drank their drink. Now, I saw it as inconsiderate. I saw it as someone I cared about, not caring about me.

So as an outspoken person that I am, I said something. I was polite about it; saying that I would love to hang out with them, but not at a bar.

Guess who never heard from that person anymore?

Because I didn’t want to live the lifestyle they lived, I was no longer part of their life. I was so willing to stretch my boundaries to try to continue to fit in this persons life, but the minute I set a boundary, I wasn’t wanted in their life anymore.

This is someone I was very close with. Not just a person I only got together to drink with. We would go adventuring in the woods, and go to festivals together. We would stay up all night talking about our dreams and hopes. Drinking was always involved, yeah, but it was a real friendship. It was extremely hard to cut this person out of my life, but I knew they were toxic and dangerous to my growth.

The main problem I’m having with this, besides the loneliness that naturally comes with losing a best friend, is now I’m constantly over-analyzing potential friendships. Oh, they drink? How often? How much? They do coke? How often? How much? And then find myself judging whether I would welcome this person into my life or not.

I have met tons of people, but I haven’t found MY people. I will, but it hasn’t been easy, that’s for sure.

Fourth: I have a much lower tolerance for bullshit.

When I was a party monster, I would endure a lot of bullshit. Fights, drugs, rape, abandonment, cruelty. You name it, I’ve been through it.

Now, I’m not having it. I did NOT come this far in my sobriety or in life, to get walked on and treated like I’m not important. I will NOT let anyone make me feel like I am worthless or not good enough for respect.

I would have brushed this off before, saying they were just being “them”. Now I’m like, nah.. 7 billion people in the world, my friend. I will not let any one of them make me feel inferior due to their own personal insecurities and  surviving traumas.

I am not scared to lose anyone. Before, I would have done anything for something if it meant they would stick around. Anything..

Fifth: I feel more lost than ever.

When I was a binge drinker, my focus was always on what I was doing that night or that weekend. Where was I going to go? Who was going to be there? Am I picking up booze before or are we going out? These were my EVERY day questions. These were the things I was worried about.

I didn’t care about bills, or rent, or getting a dependable car, or saving up to buy land, or finding a career, or my purpose. I cared about getting drunk and where that was happening.

About 6 months ago, I was so insanely stressed out that I was back to feeling a scary low. I have always dealt with depression and anxiety, but I thought sobriety was supposed to be a magic cure all! I was wrong!

I threw my new self into this big scary world, tasting true independence while I was still experiencing withdrawals. I never had to pay rent... utilities, internet, food, toiletries.. Forget about going out, I couldn’t afford it anyways.

I’m not going to lie, I’ve acquired quite a bit of credit card debt since I moved out on my own, which I hear is the standard norm for middle class America. Before moving, I lived in my mom’s basement. I didn’t have bills. Besides my phone bill, and my car insurance, gas and cigarettes (because I was a heavy smoker.) Besides that, any money I made, I spent on drugs and alcohol. Pretty standard.

All the dreams I did have (moving to Portland WAS one of them for many many years), I always imagined them as impossible. It wasn’t until I was sober that I decided my dreams were obtainable.

Finally, all of this rambling comes to my main point.

You can achieve ANYTHING you want to. ANYTHING!

Don’t let your self-doubt stop you from doing anything your heart truly desires. I have always been told that I wasn’t good enough, or that I wasn’t going to be able to do something out of disbelief.

NO MORE!!

I know I can do anything.

I know I have control of my life.

I know that I have the ability to crush goals and accomplish many successes. I have a very hefty list of all of the things I want to accomplish and what I want to make of myself. It’s hard to be in this in between stage, of where I want to be and where I’m actually at looking at where I’ve been. It’s almost overwhelming.

Sometimes it’s extremely lonely and disheartening, but I know, in the end, I’m going to come out stronger than ever before. I know that I’m on the right path, even if no one is walking that path beside me.

I will find my tribe. My sober, vegan, oil using, activist, dancing, adventuring tribe.

Until then, I am sober, healthy, independent, wiser, respectable, and cruelty free. I know there are tons of people out there who can relate to that, and I can’t wait to meet them all! <3

P.S. I am loving my business and loving the growth I see every day. It is still a seed I am nurturing, but I can’t wait to have a garden to harvest.

For all of your holistic health, mood balancing and enhancement, internal wellness, or all natural cleaning products, check out what doterra has to offer.

mydoterra.com/essentiallychantelle

Also like my business page/add me on FB.

facebook.com/essentiallychantelle

facebook.com/chantellemarie89

[cchantellemarie-blog]

Take Control of Your Life!!

Hey everyone. This is going to be kind of a long, and sentimental and emotional post. In the last two years, I did a complete 180 in my lifestyle. I got sober, I quit smoking, I went vegan, and I moved across the country. I now focus of how I can continuously grow, and continuously learn ways to better my life even further.

The beginning of my journey was tough. I was walking into unknown territory and I didn't know what I was going to do. I didn't know where I was going to go once I got here. It was scary, nerve-racking, and exciting. I knew that whatever was coming was going to change me and I didn't know if I was ready for it. I had such an emotional attachment to my disastrous habits. I also knew that I needed these changes if I was going to get anywhere closer to my ultimate goals.

Before these changes, life was predictable; I felt stuck in a role that I knew no longer fit me. I saw where my future was going, and it wasn't a good sight. I knew in that moment that I had to change it and that I was the only one who was able to make it happen. I could go on and on about how drugs and alcohol are bad for you and will change the wiring in your brain and make you become a person you're not. It will withhold you from becoming the best version of you.

Since my shift, my journey has not been easy by any means. Don't get me wrong, I have a wonderful life, and I'm very blessed to be able to do the things I do, and the freedom I am able to have. I am privileged to live comfortably, and lucky to be surrounded by love. It hasn't felt like that at times.

I was using drugs and alcohol to deal and cope with any emotion I had. Had a shitty day, let's get a drink. Had a good day, let's get a drink. I was in an unhealthy cycle of just making it through the day waiting for something. Whether it was the weekend, or the summer, or happiness. I was waiting for something to happen to make me feel “better.” To make my LIFE “better.” This is a habit I built over a period of over 15 years. I haven't dealt with my own emotions in 15 years.

It almost felt like I had 15 years of built of anger, resentment, shame, guilt, and grief unfolding over the last brief span of 22 months. It's no wonder why people relapse; it is a lot to deal with. I know that if I was to stay where I was before, I wouldn't have been able to stick with it. Even recently I was thinking how nice it would be to catch a buzz! This isn't something that you will get over immediately. I have many ups and downs. The downs are hard to deal with alone, but I can feel the process making me stronger. It took me a long time to learn to trust the process, and I think it is finally all clicking.

I have been participating in a Law of Attraction project with my DoTERRA team and mentor. It is really helping me realize how my mind has been conditioned to think negatively and how my mind is what's stopping me from achieving certain goals. You are capable of anything. The more I allowed my thoughts to spiral negatively, the worse my outside world seemed to be. The more I practice cognitive thinking with positive affirmations, and really listening to my gut and not that negative nag in the back of my mind, the easier it was to control what emotions I allow myself to feel.

I have dealt with diagnosed clinical depression for most of my teenage and early adult life, as well as anxieties that lead to full blown panic attacks. I was self medicating, but that ultimately did not help at all. In fact it made it much worse. So when I cut out these vices, I wasn't sure how to deal with life, but I have been figuring it out. I believe there are natural ways to adjust how the brain operates. I also believe that the remedy will differ person to person.

For me, I know my weight, being ashamed of my body and feeling uncomfortable in my own skin are the underlying issues. The things that have happened in my life have shaped the way I think, yeah, but finding the underlying issues and dealing with those is what is going to help you. Peeling back the layers and finding out what is really bringing you down. According to Ange Peters of HOL:FIT, the number one reason people don't reach their goals, is actually because of the underlying fear of your own success. We think of reasons like, what are they going to think, I can't do this alone, they're going to treat me differently, I have no idea what I'm doing, they won't think I'm fun anymore, or I need this. It will be different for everyone, but the point is that in the end, it's only you. This is your life. You have to realize that your life is important, and your happiness is in your hands. Don't put your happiness in the hands of someone else.

I am still learning these things, but I have had a lot of help from DoTERRA and the community that it has brought me. Getting into holistic health, and natural wellness, and learning about the ways plants can help my body, mind and soul, is what has served my life is the most magical way. When your insides feel good, your outsides feel good.

The weight is slowly falling off. I've lost 48 pounds in the last 22 months. I actually gained some weight back because I spiraled for a couple months, eating junk and nutrient deficient, processed foods. Just because I eat a vegan diet, does not mean I eat really healthy. I have just started eating cleaner the last couple weeks, and sometimes feel like my food/sugar addiction is harder to kick than drugs.

The other thing I know is going to dramatically improve my life, is movement. I am trying to get myself on a schedule that includes a much more active lifestyle. I want to do daily yoga and meditation, and also get into a gym and weight train, cardio. I want to hike more, and kayak, and do all of these things that I have let my weight hold me back from.

I am ready for the next shift. I am ready for the next phase of my life where I am in control. I am worthy of success. I am worthy of love. I will continue to reach my goals, learn, and grow emotionally and spiritually. I will continue to share my holistic and healthy lifestyle because I want others to know they can do this too! You can take control of your own life. You can achieve your goals and ultimate happiness.

If you ever want to talk, I'm here. I can lend a listening ear. I can also give you information about natural wellness and how to switch out toxic chemicals and replace them with the best products out there. DoTERRA has been a huge part of my growth, and have joined them for a business adventure to start sharing their oils with other. Message me if you would like to know more about oils or how DoTERRA could benefit you and your family, or if you just want to talk.

Thank you for tuning in. I love each and every one of you.

<3

Business Facebook Page: www.facebook.com/EssentiallyChantelle

Shop DoTERRA: www.mydoterra.com/EssentiallyChantelle

[cchantellemarie-blog]

Sometimes life will make you think that things are much worse than they actually are. At least that’s how my brain works. I’ve been so focused on everything I don’t like about my life right now, that I’ve forgotten that every thought you have is manifesting your life to be. I’ve also been focusing on what I think I should be doing, instead of what I want to be doing. That is going to change. I didn’t turn my life around to sit in an office the rest of my life!

I have been working on my spirit this week. Last week I hit a very low point. I didn’t think my mind was capable of those lows anymore. I scared myself with my thoughts.

I will be working harder than ever to focus on myself and what I truly want. I’m going to focus on letting go. I’m going to focus on loving myself and others. I want to be the light people want in their day, instead of this dark cloud I have been recently.

Lastly, shout out to my best friend and canine companion, Joey. I don’t know what I would do without him.

[cchantellemarie-blog]

Treading Water

What happens next is always a mystery. I am one of those people who plan out everything. It is a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing when everything goes as planned, but boy, oh, boy… I sure do hate when things don’t go according to plan.

I moved across the country last year. That was my grandeur plan. I found a place to live. I pay my bills. I wake up early. I go to bed early. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. I rarely go out. I don’t have much of a social life.

I’m just here. Treading water. Go to work, come home, eat and sleep. Every single day.

This isn’t what I planned!

I wanted so much more. I believe it is all out there waiting for me, and maybe this next year will guide me close to what I’m looking for. For now though, what am I supposed to do? Just continue living this mundane life?

I know for sure this is not what I want to be doing career wise. I don’t know exactly what it is I want to be doing, but banking is not it. I am working for the enemy and it is conflicting with my spiritual growth.

I joined DoTERRA to work on the side for now, and will continue to look for that perfect position in the cannabis industry, but until then…

Just treading water.

[cchantellemarie-blog]

Day 10 of 30. SOS free! I have officially been eating clean, whole foods for ten days, and it feels amazing. My body is learning to only eat when it's actually hungry. I was told eliminating salt would do that and I am amazed at how fast my body is actually responding. Man.. this might become a more permanent thing than 30 days. I feel fantastic!!

[cchantellemarie-blog]

Famous Father to Most of SeaWorld’s Orcas Was ‘Sexually Stimulated’ by Trainers

Written by Joelle Vann

(https://www.peta2.com/news/seaworld-tilikum-father-orca/) 

As we celebrate all the wonderful father figures in our lives by chillin’ at the movies, owning the mini-golf course, or watching the game with Pops, let’s take a moment to remember Tilikum: SeaWorld’s most tragic father.

Tilikum (also known as Tilly) was abducted from his family and ocean home in 1983. He was only 2 years old when he was taken, and he would never see the ocean again.

Tilly’s stress, frustration, and confinement eventually drove him to kill three humans, including trainer Dawn Brancheau. After a lifetime of suffering at various marine parks that drove him to aggression and likely zoochosis, Tilly died in a barren tank at SeaWorld on January 6, 2017.

https://twitter.com/peta2/status/817506299545927682?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.peta2.com%2Fnews%2Fseaworld-tilikum-father-orca

After Tilly, along with two other orcas, killed a trainer at Sealand of the Pacific, SeaWorld thought it would be a great idea to purchase him for its breeding program. Giving little thought to his formidable spirit and history of killing, SeaWorld “sexually stimulated” Tilly over and over and forcibly impregnated female orcas with his sperm.

Tilly was the biological father of more than half of the orcas who’ve been born at SeaWorld.

Tilly (like other male orcas in the breeding program) was trained to float on his back and present his penis so that SeaWorld trainers could sexually stimulate him to collect his sperm. #NastiestJobEver

This isn’t what fatherhood is supposed to look like.

Now, 30 years later, approximately 50 percent of orcas imprisoned at SeaWorld have his genes.

That’s one daddy with a lot of kids.

But Tilly never had the chance to be a real father. More than half of his children died—some before even being named. Most of his offspring who did survive were abducted and shipped to other SeaWorld parks before he ever got the chance to interact with them.

SeaWorld was forced to end its disgusting orca breeding program because people spoke up about how f**ked up it is to keep orcas in captivity, but it’s still paying trainers to sexually stimulate other mammal fathers, like other dolphins and belugas, at its parks.

Tilly’s tragic story reminds us that locking orcas up in tiny tanks is not only dangerous for humans but also emotionally traumatizing for the animals.

RIP, Tilly. You’re finally free. And we’re doing everything in our power to get your surviving children and grandchildren OUT of SeaWorld’s hellholes and into sea sanctuaries where they can have some semblance of a normal life.

Support fathers this Father’s Day: DON’T GO TO SEAWORLD.

Click here to help animals trapped at SeaWorld and other marine parks!

[cchantellemarie-blog]

Day 4 of 30 SOS free! Today felt good. I can’t believe how quickly I’m feeling results from this. I’m so filled with energy! It’s bonkers! I don’t feel as sluggish and bloated. I feel full! I feel like I’m eating so much food, yet the scale is going down. They said your body will go through detox. All they really meant is that you’re going to poop a lot. 💩💩💩

[cchantellemarie-blog]

Work for it fitnessmotivationasparty.tumblr.com

[cchantellemarie-blog]

Work for it fitnessmotivationasparty.tumblr.com

[cchantellemarie-blog]

when you become a vegan and you find out that everyone around you suddenly has a PhD in nutrition

[cchantellemarie-blog]

the saddest thing about working in a grocery store is seeing all of the kids beg their parents to buy them a carton of blackberries or a bag of organic apples and watch the parents say “no, you don’t need those” or “no, those are too expensive”. Meanwhile their cart is loaded up with kraft mac and cheese, frosted animal crackers, and frozen chicken fingers.

[cchantellemarie-blog]

Day 1 of 30, SOS free! No added salt, oil, or sugar. I did fail at lunch time when I had my salad because I forgot to plan a SOS dressing. That’s where all the fat from today came from. The damn dressing.. even though it is completely vegan, the number one ingredient was oil. And the almonds/sunflower seeds. Lesson learned! Overall, I miss salt. It’s weird how bland everything tastes when you get used to drowning everything in salt. But that’s one of the reasons I’m doing this. So I can reset my taste buds! Otherwise, day 1 went well!!

[cchantellemarie-blog]

I failed my diet on the first day! D:

So today I promised myself I was going to start 30 days SOS free. That means no added salt, oil or sugar. Breakfast went good. I made a smoothie with kale, banana, strawberries and pineapple. I had 2 manderine oranges for a snack. And then lunch comes along.

I made a huge salad! Romain, Arugula, Strawberries, blueberries, almonds and sunflower seeds. But then I’m like, “Shit.” I didn’t plan a fucking dressing. So I used this store bought dressing, a sweet onion dressing. It was delicious, but the number one ingredient was oil. So.. I failed.

That’s right, I failed my first day. I only have salad planned one other time this week, so I’ll make sure to google some SOS free dressings for my grocery shopping for next week. For dinner I am planning to make a garlic, spicy stir fry using water for the first time ever. I hope my pan is good enough for this. I am going to put this over white rice.Hopefully day 2 goes a little better!

I am going to start my yoga challenge as well. I am very, very beginner. As in, I’ve never done yoga before, besides the one for wii fit. I’m also a very big girl, so I have a feeling it is going to challenge me. I will try and do my yoga video at least 3 times a week to start. And push myself more and more as time goes on.

So there we have it. I am not the best at diets, I’ll be the first to admit it. I always feel like restricting myself makes me binge in the end, but if I plan that this is only for 30 days, I feel like it’s just a short-term goal to prove that I can do it. If salad dressing is the only thing that I eat that doesn’t fit my criteria, I’d say that’s still pretty damn good!

[cchantellemarie-blog]

Sunday mornin' oats. ❤ Packed with banana, dates and raisins. Topped with more banana, pecans and peanut butter.

[cchantellemarie-blog]

Do what you want!

Before I left my small little town, on the outskirts of Chicago, I was a complete mess. My whole life was a mess. I was reliant on external factors to keep me “happy.” A lot of it, I don’t even remember. What I do remember is always feeling like I had to do what I was supposed to do. Get a good job, move into my own place, hide my true feelings, be who people wanted me to be. I was trapped.So I decided to change that.

I firmly believe you adapt to your environment. I was surrounded by a lot of people who were living the same lifestyle I was. I knew that if I stuck around, I was never truly going to be able to change the things I wanted to change. I knew that I would keep repeating the vicious cycle that was damaging my mind, my soul, and my body. I was never going to find my true happiness

To be fair, I still haven’t found it, but I sure am a damn lot close than I was a year ago. I dropped the booze, and the drugs, and the toxic people in my life. I moved to an area that better fit my needs, and what I believe to be a better lifestyle. Eugene, Oregon is in the top healthiest places to live! Don’t get me wrong though, I could have chose to live like I was living in Illinois. I could have found another group of drunk,drug addicts to hang around. That’s the beauty of life. You live and you learn. I have learned that I can no longer live the way I was living if I want to be happy.

I was miserable. I was (am) obese. I was depressed. I was always wasted. I was insecure. I cared so much about what other people thought about me. It was time for a change. I know that if I was to stay there, I would still be in the same place I was.

So now, what I have to say, is DO WHAT YOU WANT! If being lazy, working a dead end job, drinking all the time, making meaningless relationships, having conversations without depth, eating like shit, feeling like shit... if this is what you want, by all means, do it. But don’t complain about being unhappy if you aren’t going to change the things that are bringing you down.

This brings me to my next point. I have to follow my own advice. Even though I worked my ass off to move across the country, started eating a cruelty-free diet, lost 42 lbs (and counting), moved into my first ever own apartment, I still have a long way to go.

When I first moved to Eugene, the money I worked so hard to save up was dwindling quickly. I had to hop on any job opportunity that came to me. I got hired with Chase bank 9 days after I  moved here and it took about 2.5 weeks for all of the pre-employment things to clear. I was stressed to the max during this time.

After I started working, things started going a little smoother. I moved into a house that was all vegan, had a huge garden, and was perfectly in my price range. I loved everything about it. Then life happens. I left my phone on the bus, my bike was stolen, my car broke down, I lost the house I loved... things were rough. On top of that, I was realizing how much I didn’t want to work for Chase bank. I don’t like the idea of working for the enemy, climbing a corporate ladder, and having to be someone I’m not during the majority of my day.

I have come up with a few new goals. The first one I’ve already set in motion, which is to start working in the cannabis industry. For now, that’s what I want to do to make an income. I have already taken the test, and I’m just waiting for them to process my application and test results and send my the card saying I’m allowed to work with the plant.

Next, I want to keep losing weight, focusing more on nutrition and really paying attention to what I’m eating. I’ve been using myfitnesspal and tracking everything I eat. I am trying to stick to 80-10-10 for my macros, and starting the 12th, I will be doing 30 days SOS free. So no added salt, oil, or sugar. We’ll see how that goes.

Also I’ve been using SHealth on my android Samsung Galaxy (I’m not sure if they offer SHealth on anything else) to track my steps and my exercise, heart rate, sleep, and all that good jazz. It’s similar to fitbit, but it’s all on my phone. I try ti hit a goal of 10,000 steps a day, which isn’t that difficult, but it also is something I have to put effort into. I average about 6000 a day without trying and just doing my regular activities. I eventually want to get it up to 20,000 steps a day with at least 20 minutes of running.

I am going to start doing yoga. I already got a new mat, strap, bricks, and a beginners video. All I have to do now is actually do it. I want to build my core muscles, gain flexibility, improve my posture, and work on my mind all at the same time. In good time, I’ll be joining a yoga class.

I also feel like I’ve been spending a lot of time indoors. Which sucks so much. So another goal is to start going outdoors more often. I want to go on more hikes, go to the beach, climb some mountains... All of these things are in reach for me, so I don’t really understand why I haven’t been doing them.

So there it is. I am doing what I want to do, which is what you should do too. Do what you want to do. Do things that are going to better your life, your health, your inner peace, your state of mind. Just do it! Don’t care about what others want you to do. Don’t worry about failing. You can always try again! Just don’t give up.

If you use the power of manifestation, and create a beautiful life that you want, and work towards your goals... anything is possible.It took me many, many years to learn this. and to actually follow my heart, no matter how cliche that is. You can do anything you put your mind to. That also means that if you put your mind to negativity (”I can’t do that” “that will never happen” ”I’m so unhappy” “I will never lose weight”) then your life isn’t going to have a positive outcome. Use the power of manifestation to draw positive things into your life, not negative. You can do this. It will happen. You can achieve true happiness. Just stop waiting around and DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO! <3

[cchantellemarie-blog]

Weightloss?

[photo credit goes to my grandma. <3 and Sushi credit goes to Bamboo Sushi in the Portland area. They have tons of delicious vegan options, as well as sustainably resourced seafood for your carnivorous friends.]

So I’ve been on a weightloss journey since I could even comprehend what weightloss was. I have continuously done crash diets, and calorie restriction, and yo-yo’d my way through adolescent and adult life. I have gone through the same dieting thought process that I was taught, and what they were taught before me. You know, the one where we promise ourselves we’re only going to eat iceberg lettuce once a day, while drinking only water, for 30 days to lose 15 lbs, and you would magically look like you belonged on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Yeah, I’ve done them all. Around day 3 or 4 of this miraculous diet, I would end up eating a big mac, large fries, large soda, maybe some ice cream after... I would binge.

Around 9 years ago, I decided I was going to become vegetarian. I threw out all of the meat in the house and presented tons of Peta videos to my roommates explaining why we can no longer have meat in our house. Of course, they didn’t listen but I stuck with it. Even though I became vegetarian for the love of animals, I had it stuck in my mind that becoming vegetarian was going to instantly make me lose weight. I was very wrong.

In fact, instead of losing weight, I ended up gaining weight. I gained 40 pounds in 9 years. The problem now, was that I was eating more carbs, junk food, and dairy. So much dairy. My acne was getting worse. My cholesterol was raising. I was really becoming unhealthy and I could feel it too. I was also a heavy drinking, and a heavy smoker. I knew I had to make a change.

The fist big change was to quit drinking. I saw my life going in a direction that I knew wasn’t going to lead me anywhere good. I knew I wanted to get out and explore the world and have real experiences. I knew I couldn’t do that if all my life consisted of was going to work and getting fu*ked up. So I decided to make that change. January 8th, 2016 I said no more booze.

By March  I was signed up for a program called WWOOFF, which is a work trade program, looking for a farm to work at in Oregon so I could get my foot in the door. I saved up every penny. I quit smoking cigarettes (which lasted a long time, and will probably be an ongoing battle for an even longer time). And the best thing of all, in my opinion, that changed my life for the better, was that I went vegan.

I couldn’t even imagine going back to a life of cruelty and disgust. Something someone just doesn’t get until it clicks. I have become one of those “crazy” vegan people and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I watched the documentary Earthlings, and it blew my mind. We are all being lied to by the food industry and it’s not okay.

I thought at first, I wouldn’t be able to live without cheese. After a year without it, let me tell you, I am fully alive. I feel better than I ever have. I actually have a weird story... I went to a burrito joint that was recommended to me by another vegan. I frequently got the veggie burrito with tofu. On this particular day, they happened to be out of tofu. I asked the cashier (BAD MISTAKE! If someone is not vegan, or even vegetarian, they are not going to really know is considered vegan or not.) I tell her I’m vegan, and what options she has for my burrito to mix it up a bit. She recommends a mole sauce that she swears has no meat or meat products. I agree to the mole, as I have no idea what mole sauce is. Mole sauce is a dairy based sauce with chocolate and peppers. It is most commonly made with chicken broth, but I wasn’t going to go back to ask, as I got extremely sick. That’s right.. throwing up and shitting at the same time, sick. Ugh. It was astounding to me, that such a small amount of dairy could upset my body so much when I used to consume more than the average person. That should concern anyone who cares about their health in the slightest.

Anyways, now after those main things: ditching the booze, ditching the dairy, and ditching the eggs, I have lost the 40 pounds I’ve put on in the last 9 years. It has been over a year now, almost a year and 5 months on the 8th since I’ve quit wasting my life away. The cool thing about this weight loss, is that I haven’t  been trying. I have been eating whatever I want, as long as it’s vegan. And let me tell you, there’s a lot of vegan junk food out there. The person who started the rumor that vegans only eat lettuce was an ignorant fool. The vegan options are endless, especially if you live or move to an area with tons of vegan restaurants like I did. The Portland/Seattle area is just booming with anything vegan.

I have accomplished so much in the last year, and I can’t wait to see what this next year has in store for me. I will definitely be trying to incorporate excercise into my daily routine since I haven’t been very active at all. Like I said, the 40 lbs I’ve lost has simply been from not drinking, and not eating dairy. I have a long way to go with my fitness and health goals, but I finally feel like I’m on the right track.

<3

Photo taken on the Oregon coast near Newport. <3