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the Venn diagram of people using AI to make art and people saying "it's not real art, [anyone/a toddler/I] could have done it" in art galleries is a circle.

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Arthur: *turns over in his bed to face a crouching Merlin who's clearly trying to steal a key from his bedside table* what on earth are you doing?

Merlin: looking for woodworm. *tap tap tap*

Arthur:

Merlin:

Arthur: before breakfast?

Merlin: that ☝️ is when the worms are most active.

Arthur:

Merlin:

Arthur: get out.

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people: what time do you get up in the morning?

me, a Solitude guard: 8am

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too autistic to be able to work a 9-5 but adhering to the d/s lifestyle, call me a stay-at-home dom

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at the lab for a blood test, the lady whispered to me over her counter "computer asks me for date of last period... but uh..." then she stared at me for two very long seconds (seemingly waiting for an answer I did not give because she didn't ask any questions) and added "... I'm gonna put not applicable" while shaking her head no. passing: obtained.

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I hate that Tesla drivers might think I do a double take because I check out their car, when in fact I do a double take because I automatically assume they are stupid for driving a Tesla and therefore I, on my motorbike, need to be more careful and check my blind spots more than once in order to not die

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if I was the sun I'd be feeling constantly sorrowful not to be a part of any constellation. it's neither about how bright you shine nor about how much light you give out to the world; it's about being a part of something bigger, something that's not just about you, it's about fitting in with the right people, you know?

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what if I read you stories at night to put you down to sleep what then. except I actually do and I just read the first chapter of the Hobbit on twitch. so follow me to follow along with the story I guess.

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if I had a nickel for every time I've seen a movie that ends with the two main characters parting ways forever because the red haired character is in a committed relationship with someone the audience doesn't care about, and the other character is committed to his job, so their lives aren't compatible and they both have to accept their fates and the fact that the time they spent together and shall remember always was impermanent, even though love was there, revealing the dreadful truth that being who you are and being true to yourself is more important than what you represent to others, and sometimes being yourself means losing people you care about, I'd have two nickels. which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

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just found out that tod and copper from the fox and the hound are named mads and mikkel in danish, and that one of the danish voice actors for mikkel is a person called hannibal nielsen.

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sometimes when I eat I slide my fork against my lip piercing so it sounds like I'm unsheathing a mini-sword

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my phone gps was down so I texted my psychiatrist to say I couldn't be there on time and maybe not at all, and to ask if we could make it a video call instead; she said "of course, I know how anxious you get about being on time and driving here" and I thought "awww how thoughtful of her to remember things about me" as if she wasn't the one prescribing me brain meds every month

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my mom told me to watch The Accountant (2016) because "you'll like it, Ben Affleck plays someone like you who likes numbers and puzzles" and I thought it was really thoughtful of her because I do like numbers and puzzles, but turns out he's just full on autistic and that is what she meant by "someone like you who likes puzzles and numbers"

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me: what if I'm never capable of love

me, after a shower: I could defeat god in a 1v1

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the urge to erase everything after "Papa Smurf" for content

I'm not saying I showed signs of autism as a kid, I'm saying the first time I've ever felt horny was when I first saw this specific drawing of Papa Smurf's papers organized in a neat little pile.

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I'm not saying I showed signs of autism as a kid, I'm saying the first time I've ever felt horny was when I first saw this specific drawing of Papa Smurf's papers organized in a neat little pile.

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me: *at the grocery store to get 3 apples*

hades: this one?

me: I don't need it

hades: my bad, I meant t̷̢̙̣̣̝͑͗͌͐̏̒̆͜ẖ̶̛̝̯̺͕͉̯̘̓̓̈́̒̔̒͘͝͠ͅi̵̢͇̹̦̝̗̣̜̪̅s̶̛̺̣̰̮̟͎̘̟̓ͅ ̶̲̩̼̘̪͇͚̱̦͇̈́͆̅̑͆͠͠ơ̴̻̣̖̪͉̲̍̀̾n̷̗̭̘̓̏͋ȩ̶͍̠̝͇̦̓̾̌̀.̷̢͙̗͎̻̤̦̀̾͊̔

me: *gets 4 apples*