#~ I will never see it the same again đ ~
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Aw welcome back, Wayne!! đ I'm so happy to hear that you've been thinking of this series. đ„° And I'm so excited to see what you thought of Part 2...
I'm so in love with their little bonding sessions. Being stuck inside a cabin and playing games? I want that đ
Aww it's the little moments with Dean that I would so love -- along with just being snowed in, in a cabin with him. đ
And lol it's gotta be so awkward for true mates when they're still strangers. I absolutely adored her thought process throughout đ
Lolll YEP exactly. đ Like, realistically how do you broach that conversation with someone? I'm glad you liked that attempt to inject some realism there. đ€Ł
Love how Dean doesn't realize he's oversharing and that his whole childhood might not have been normal đ
ahaha Dean got so into his story he didn't realize he was giving himself away there! Bit of a rookie move, but she's his literal soulmate, so he's probably a little distracted. đ€Ș
And oh God, all those journal entries đđđ I know they're from the OG journal, but it just rips my heart right out again rereading it đą Those portray John's despair and heartbreak way better than the show did...
Girl I had never read the official journal, and it hit me in the feels in just the same way. đ I had that exact same thought -- that they served to humanize John and explain why he became the way he was with the boys way better than the show did.
Ooooh, let's think about it, shall we? đ Her dad might have totally been snatched by something supernatural. Considering their location and how it happened in her memories, it might have been a Wendigo?? đ€
Ooh you're red-hot! â€ïžâđ„â€ïžâđ„
Dude! Goosebumps! Wendigos scare the shit outta me đ It's still why The Descent is the scariest movie for me. I die from a heart attack every time đ đ«Ł
ooooh my God, I haven't seen The Descent, but if it's anything like the Wendigo episode, than I don't wanna know. đ Legit when I was first starting to watch SPN I had to take a break after that episode -- and it was only episode 2!! đ©
No! Alex!!!! YOU KNOW THIS IS WHY I HATE SNOOPING Girl, you're killing me here... đđ
LOLL I love that you referenced Smoke Eater -- it's those same vibes from Part 8, isn't it? I have a little less sympathy for the reader in this situation, but she is ultimately sorry for going through his private journal/invading his privacy to the nth degree. đ
OMGG I LOVED that gif of the little polar bear. đ„čđ„č Took me right out with the cuteness lmao. I laughed so hard at all your commentary with the reader and her lack of bear knowledge. đ
N'aw, I know it was necessary but poor bear â wrong place, wrong time for the fella đ„șđ
Aww I know, I felt bad for writing that part. Poor Ted. đđ
My heart is full đâ€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž (Also, I doubt he can ever stand to let her go her own way after this lmao)
Ha! You're right about that one. I just love me some protective Alpha Dean. đ
Huh. Never eaten bear before... Never even thought about it before lol Also seems like something the Shaws would've done đ
Me either lmao, but I've read about people who actually hunt for a living who survive off bear, caribou, bison, etc. I imagine it's a hard way to live, but omg yeah I could see Ashton making his kids learn how to shoot, but them not wanting to shoot a bear or a deer. đ
Omg I love that ending! Dean's finally coming around, and she's putting the puzzle pieces about her dad together. I wonder what Dean will do when he hears the full story? Would he go hunt the thing? Is it even still out there??? Questions upon questions... đ€
Aw I'm glad! Yesss it's about time with him lol. Good thing all your questions there will be answered in Part 3...
So excited for the next part!! I'm loving this story and everything you've put in it, and the dynamic between them is amazing. So well done, friend đđ©”đ©”
Aw thank you so much, my friend!! I tried to balance the slower "getting to know you" parts with some of this actiony/dramatic stuff as they slowly grow closer. đ„°đđ
Also, don't think I forgot about the last two chapters of Polaris. I'm so looking forward to diving into those chapters soon!! đ
Against the Wind - Part 2
Pairing:Â Alpha!Dean Winchester x F. Omega!ReaderÂ
Summary: You wake up in a strange alphaâs cabin in the middle of a snowstorm, all with a busted ankle. He holds shadows in his eyes, even though his hands are gentle. There are iron shutters around his heart, even though he saved you. You might just save him in return.
AN:Â Thank you guys so much for all the amazing feedback on Part 1! Now, most of your theories and questions will be answered...
Jacklesverse Bingo24 Prompt: True Mates @jacklesversebingo
Song Inspo:Â âAgainst the Windâ by Bob Seger
Word Count: 3.8K
Tags/Warnings: Angst, and peril, the other kind of "hunting."
Series Masterlist || Bingo Masterlist
Part 2: Seems Like Yesterday
âIâll raise you 25,â you say, tossing five chocolate covered pretzels into the middle pile. Itâs a risky bet, considering how much you lost in the last hand. Dean regards you with an amused, if critical eye while he holds his cards.
âOoh, youâre bluffing,â he says. You pop your brows at him, a subtle smile tugging at your lips.
âYou want to test that theory? Put your money where your mouth is,â you challenge.
He tilts his head at you with a raise of his own brows.
âCheeky omega,â he mutters. His attention returns to his cards as he deliberates on his next move.
You attempt to be nonchalant as you glance down at your cards again. Itâs a shitty hand, but he doesnât need to know that. The alphaâs won the last two hands of Texas Hold âEm, but you did win the first one. Though you suspect he let you win.
You want to at least even the score before he resumes his work out in the shed. He spends most of his time there during the day, or making sure the firewood is stocked. It seems like he takes any excuse not to spend too much time in your presence.
More than anything, you want to ask him if he feels what you feelâthe same tug in the pit of your stomach every time heâs nearby. You just havenât found a way to broach that with him.
Hey, I know we just met like two minutes ago, but I think weâre supposed to be together. Do you feel it too?
You nearly roll your eyes at yourself. Yeah, thatâll go over well.
So you have to be content with mornings like this and in the evenings, where he lets you put on one of his records, and you two share dinner together, maybe another round of cards. Or youâll read a book while lounging on the chaise, and he lays out on the couch, listening to his music with his eyes closed. You like watching him like that, with a relaxed, damn near peaceful set to his face.
Too often he holds that harder, stoic expression, or that divot between his brows that makes you want to soothe two of your fingers there; or better yet, lean in and press your lipsâ
âItâs your move,â Dean reminds you. Heâs finally played his hand, but you were too distracted to hear what he said.
âWhatâd you do?â you ask, surveying the piles of cards.
âCall,â he repeats, popping a few pretzels into his mouth. He washes it down with beer and more barbeque chips. Those are worth $10 in this little fantasy betting. He points a finger towards you with the same hand that holds his beer, teasing, âYou got all the lights on in there? Or am I boring you?â
You glance up at him, fighting a smile. âAll right, keep your pants on. Let me seeâŠâ
As the dealer, heâs already turned over the River: the last card in the hand. Itâs a 10 of Clubs, which means your One Pair is actually a Two Pair. Itâs still not a great hand, but itâs decent enough to maybe let you get the best of your opponent.
After you go âall in,â Deanâs lips twitch at a smile, and he humors you, going all in as well. Youâre on tenterhooks when he finally reveals his hand.
âOoh, it ainât a cheesy â90s sitcom, but itâs stillâŠa Full House,â he brags as he lays out each card in a smooth line of overlapping cards, the mix of glossy red diamonds and black spades showing the truth. He won again.
You huff in defeat, your shoulders sinking in your seat at the kitchen table. You turn over your measly hand. Sweeping the winnings toward himself (a mound of chocolate covered pretzels, a stack of barbecue chips, and a handful of Oreos), Dean chuckles and tosses you a wink.
âAh, donât beat yourself up, sweetheart. Iâve been hustlinâ poker for a long time. Hell, Iâve been playing this game before I even knew my times tables,â he says as he collects the cards.
âThat young?â you reply. âWho taught you?â
âMy dad,â he says. âOh, believe me, I used to get my ass kicked many aâ time, but by the time I turned sixteen, I was hustlinâ grown ass men in skeevy bars out of their daily paycheck.â
âYou were hanging out in bars at sixteen?â you ask incredulously. There, Dean seems to realize heâs said too much. He becomes more guarded as he puts away the deck and cleans the crumbs off the table.
âMy dad was always working. You could say I didnât really have a curfew,â he says.
âA latchkey kid, huh?â you reply, hiding the way youâre trying so hard to glean any more hints of truth between his words.
âHeh, yeah.â He gets up from the table and tosses the breakfast dishes in the sink, then travels to the front door to don his jacket and boots.
âAll right, Iâll be out back,â he says.
Out back, code for out in the shed. You nod, and in a flash, heâs shutting the door behind him.
Youâve learned another small tidbit about him, one that feels more important than it seems on the surface. And yet, it only elicits more questions you doubt heâll be willing to answer so easily. Heâs more than tight-lipped about his past, only giving vague outlines and general pictures.
Even his storiesâlike being raised up in a family of traveling mechanics, putting Nair in Samâs shampoo when he was a kid, or the guyâs serious fear of clownsâfeel like theyâre missing some key details.
You decide to take up your crutches and head for your room. There you unearth the journal from its hiding place under your pillow. This time, you turn to the very beginning. Before all the jargon about mythology (and an odd footnote about a âTurducken Slammerâ), there are actual journal entries. The first one dates back to November 6, 1983. The first line already captures your attention.
I buried my wife today. Even as I write that down, I donât believe it. Last week we were a normal familyâŠeating dinner, going to Deanâs T-ball game, buying toys for baby Sammy. But in an instant, it all changed⊠When I try to think back, get it all straight in my headâŠI feel like Iâm going crazy. Like someone ripped both my arms off, plucked my eyes out. Iâm wandering around, alone and lost and I canât do anything.
This is Deanâs father, you realize. The more that you read, with no small amount of dismay, you also realize that this man is writing about his wife, Mary.
Deanâs momâŠ
He writes about their house burning with all their memories inside, along with Mary. Somehow, he saw her pinned bloody to the ceiling.
Along with these pages is a clipping from a news story:
House Fire Kills Mother of Two
Lawrence, Kansas.
Youâre spellbound by it all. You keep reading.
November 13, 1983
âŠMost of our clothes and photos are ruined, even our safeâthe safe with Maryâs old diaries, the boysâ savings bonds, what little jewelry we hadâŠall gone. How could my house, my whole life, go up like that, so fast, so hot? How could my wife just burn up and disappear?
The police donât believe his story, about how she died before the fire, about what he saw. So he tries to convince himself that what he saw wasnât real. Still, he canât find rest, and he worries about his sonsâ safety.
December 4, 1983
I havenât let them out of my sight since the fire. Dean still hardly talks. I try to make small talk, or ask him if he wants to throw the baseball around. Anything to make him feel like a normal kid again. He never budges from my sideâor from his brother.
Every morning when I wake up, Dean is inside the crib, arms wrapped around baby Sam. Like heâs trying to protect him from whatever is out there in the night.
Sammy cries a lot, wanting his mom. I donât know how to stop it, and part of me doesnât want to. It breaks my heart to think that soon he wonât remember her at all.
You donât realize youâre crying until a droplet lands on the page. You quickly wipe it away before it becomes a stain, and you dry it all the way with your breath before you move on to the next page, sniffling. Your heart hurts, even as your guilt grows. You know now that youâre really, truly invading Deanâs privacy by reading his fatherâs words. You just canât stop yourself from turning the next page.
John becomes convinced that someone, or something, started the fire that destroyed his life and took his wife away from him and his sons. He leaves his job and the remnants of that world behind, to venture deeper into the darker one. But in that darkness, he finds truth.
He visits a psychic, Missouri, who leads him back to his house and senses the echoes of an evil presenceâsomething that shakes her to the core, and John too: the creature that killed his wife.
December 20
âŠShe told me that it was the most powerful, awful thing sheâs ever come across.
On January 1, 1984, John makes a New Yearâs resolution. He determines to find the answers himself.
A shiver runs down your spine. In Johnâs words, your heart breaks for Dean, but you also see yourself. You try not to think about why.
You keep flipping through the rest of the journal past January. There are translations of a Latin exorcism, and like you read before, strange drawing of evil looking creaturesâas well as what they are, scraps of their history, and how to kill them.
Silver bullet to the heart, canât withstand iron, salt and burn.
You pause on a certain page, more filled with lore than the rest, and a primitive drawing in the center.
WENDIGO
Cree: Evil that devours.
Wood spirit. Eats live flesh. Lives in forests.
Perfect hunter.
Your breath stills in your lungs as a cold sweat forms across your skin. The more you read, the faster your heart beats.
The crunch of dead leaves. Your father shouting at you to run, and keep running.
The coarse shout of a bear morphs into something other. Itâs a sharper, whirring sound like wind howling amidst animalistic clicking, and then bones breakingâyour fatherâs scream cut short. You turn around with your rifle in hand, poised to shoot blindly.
Your stomach churns as bile rises into your throat. You feel sick, and wrong, and you suddenly have the urge to throw the journal against the wall.
âOmega?â calls Deanâs sharp voice. âYou okay?â
You jolt badly at the sudden noise. You didnât hear him reenter the house. He likely caught the scent of your distress. He pushes the door of your room open to find you, but he stops short in the doorway. His surprise quickly morphs into a frown when he notices what youâre holding in your lap.
You gasp, freezing where you sit, but thereâs no point in trying to cover up what youâve done. With an angry purse of his lips, he reaches over and takes the journal from your hands.
âWhat the hell are you doing with this?â he demands.
âIâmâŠIâm sorry. I justââ You swallow past the lump in your throat. âI was just curious. I wanted to know more about you. I thought it wasâŠa normal journal.â
âSo this is how you go about it, huh? Got everything you wanted, Columbo?â he says, his sarcasm cutting into you. He flips through the journal to make sure all the pages are intact before he tucks the journal under his arm. âSeriously, going into somebodyâs stuff? Who the hell raised you?â
At that, you begin to bristle.
âMy dad,â you snap back. Though remembering the passages youâve lived with for the past few hours, you soften with a painful twinge of sympathy in your heart.Â
âAnd it looks like yours raised you to be some kind ofâŠwell, what are you, a ghostbuster or something?â you ask.
His jaw locks. âOr something.âÂ
With an exasperated sigh at his hedging, you swing your legs around the edge of the bed and haul yourself up with your crutches so you can at least match his stance (more or less).
âDean, please, just talk to me,â you implore, gesturing at the journal tucked under his arm. âThe things I readââ
âAre none of your goddamn business!â he growls, making the omega inside you cringe. The alphaâs voice is deep and sharp, and even though he isnât crowding you, his height and broadness are still intimidating.
âThe sooner you heal up, the sooner I can ship you back to where you belong,â he says. âBack to your life, so you can stop sticking your nose into mine.âÂ
Your mouth actually falls open in shock. His vehement words feel almost as powerful as a physical blow, if to your soul. They make your arms tremble while holding yourself upright on your crutches. Hot tears well up in your eyes, though you try to blink them away. After a moment, youâre able to collect yourself enough to speak.
âIâm sorry for going through your stuff,â you say, in a quiet voice.
You hobble awkwardly past him out of the room. You donât stop until you reach the front door, where your snow boots are. You manage to get them on by yourself so you can go outside and get some fresh air, not to mention some much needed distance from the alphaâs burning presence. You can still feel him trailing behind you. You hear his heavy boots.
âWhere the hell are you going?â he grits out.
You hobble faster.
Dean watches you go out the door without a word in irritation, even though it triggers an alarm deep in his gut every time you leave the safety of the cabin.Â
The snow depth has lightened somewhat since the storm, but itâs still not easy to navigate on your crutches. You get some distance from the cabin, mindful not to go too far. You know youâre limited, and you didnât even take a gun with you.
Finding a solid tree to lean on, you rest there and try in vain to stifle your tears. You know you were wrong for snooping, and he had a right to be mad, but did he really have to be such a freakinâ bear?Â
Fucking alphas. I swear.
You thought you were starting to connect with him, but clearly, Dean wants nothing to do with you. He wants you out of his life.Â
Does he not feel the same pull you feel to him? Does he really not realizeâŠthat heâs meant to be your mate?
You take in a shaky breath through your nose. If he does, apparently he doesnât care.
Just then, you hear the crunch of snow nearby. Twigs snapping.
Your body stiffens with a terrible memoryâof that day in the woods. Your breath comes out in short puffs on the cold air, your eyes wide as you listen closely.
Hearing nothing, you allow yourself to breathe a little easier. You venture a few paces forward and to the right, but you stop shy of how it slopes downward. Some unnamed feeling tells you to look over the edge.
You lean over and cast your gaze down the slope, but all you see is snow and trees down below. With a shaky breath, you lean back and look out to the north again. Plodding along the trail, heading towards you, is a bear.
Oh shitâŠ
You remember Dean mentioning something about a bear passing by his cabin a couple of days before the storm. Looks like heâs back to make his rounds.
His fur is dark; from this distance, you canât tell if itâs a black bear or a grizzly. It doesnât make much difference when all you have on your person is a can of bear spray. His gait is massive, unhurried, but he lets out a braying sound when your gaze meets his, as if acknowledging you. He stops there for a moment, assessing. Your body locks up with fear.
The bear groans again, this time sharper. You finally snap out of your reverie and force your body to move slowly backward with your crutches spearing into the snow. The cabin isnât that far, maybe thirty or forty yards at most. Still, the bear can probably beat you.
Instead of trying to run, you stand your ground and shout at the bear, hoping heâll back off. Your voice dies in your throat when he rears up on his hind legs, with a loud roar. Trembling, you miss a step and get knocked back into the snow on your ass, your crunches falling out at your sides. You scramble inside your jacket for anything that might help you.Â
Bear spray!
You hurry to get the cap off with shaking hands, but before you can even aim, the creatureâs heave paws thudding into the ground in front of youâa gunshot rings out and hits the animal in the chest.Â
The bear falters, then roars in pain and anger.
Two more shots finally bring it down to an even heavier thud, not far from your feet.
In this moment, these are the things you donât know about Dean Winchester:
For one, the scent of an omega in distress always calls to an alphaâs protective instincts. But the scent of your abject fear feels like someone tried to rip his lungs out through his stomach.
Second, when he sees you there, your wide, shiny eyes filled with the remnants of panic, yet relief at the sight of him, it takes everything within him not to drop to his knees, grab you by the hair, sink his teeth into your neck and claim you, right there in the snow. Maybe then youâd start listening to him and stop taking your life into your hands.
Instead, his lips purse as he wracks his rifle and slings the strap of it over his shoulder. He stalks toward you and scoops you up, crutches and all. He brings you back to the cabin without a word.
His jaw is once again locked with silence and strain; he doesnât trust himself to speak until heâs brought you inside and carried you over to the chaise. He sits beside you there and takes an inventory of you with his eyes.
âYou okay?â he asks at last.
You manage to meet his gaze and give a little nod.
âOkay. Donât move,â he says shortly. He gets up and goes to the kitchen, where he grabs a foldable set of knives and a cooler from under the sink.
You watch him in silence, and you realize heâs going back to gut the bear. You didnât know that he actually hunted out hereâŠwell, hunted to eat. He continues to gather items in silence. It gets to a point where you canât stand it, or his curtness, any longer.
âThank you,â you say, halting his steps. Dean glances at you over his shoulder, then continues strapping up his supplies. He huffs in response.
âWeâre gonna be eatinâ good for a while,â he says without looking at you.Â
His attitude both hurts you and aggravates you, so much that you refuse to take it anymore.Â
âLook, Dean. Iâm sorry, okay? I shouldnât have butted into your life,â you say. Frustrated tears well up in your eyes. Expelling a sharp sigh, you amend yourself. âIâm sorry for invading your privacy. Iâm sorry about what you went through, and IâmâŠIâm sorry about your mom. Iâm sorry for today. Iâll justâŠstay out of your way, and Iâll leave as soon as I can.â
Dean finally turns your way, but your lips tremble as you turn your face away from him and shut your eyes tightly against the salty burn of tears. Deep inside, his heart withers in his chest. He sighs and drops his supplies on the couch. He walks over with those heavy boots, and he sits on the edge of the chaise beside you. He hesitates for a moment, but eventually, he rests a warm, calloused hand on your arm and earns your tearful gaze.Â
âIâm sorry. I, uhâŠshouldnât have yelled at you,â he says.Â
You sniff, quickly wiping away your embarrassing tears as they come. Your cheeks are hot with it.
âWhat is it you wanna know? About me,â he asks, surprising you that much more.
 Your mouth parts, but nothing comes out. It takes you some time to think, but the first thing that comes to your mind isâŠ
âEverything in that journal,â you say, licking your dry lips. âIs it real?â
Dean holds your gaze steadily. You know the truth without him having to say it, but he does.
âI was a hunter,â he says. âThose things you read about, I found âem. Killed âem. It was my job.â
âAnd now?â you ask, once that large bit of information has time to set into your brain.
His lips tug at a half smile. âConsider meâŠmostly retired.â
You exhale softly, and you nod. It earns a furrowed look from Dean.
âYou donât seem all that freaked out by this,â he says, with a more scrutinizing gaze on you.
âShould I be?â you say, with an unsteady laugh.
He raises his brows. âIn my experience, yeah.â
You chew on the inside of your lip. You donât know if you should even put into words what youâve been holding onto for months. Like John, no one believed you. Even your own mother had started to look at you like you needed a shrink.
âOmega?â Dean presses. His green eyes are perceptive as they take in the conflicted look on your face. âThere something you wanna tell me?â
You deliberate for a moment longer. Then, you release a sigh and glance down at your hands clenching in your lap.
âA few months ago, I lost my dad,â you begin.
Dean nods. âYeah, you saidââ
âI lost him in these woods,â you say.
That quiets the alpha.
You shake your head, and you find your words as the memories that have been haunting your nights return to you.
âLike I said, we used to go hiking here every yearâŠâ
AN:Â Just so you know, all of the journal entries appear in the official "John's Journal" SPN merch. đ
Next Time:
Unease prickles down your spine, though you donât know why.
âDad?â you whisper-yell, trying not to spook whatever animal might be out there.
A gunshot rings out, along with your dadâs voice in a shout. Your eyes widen in alarm, and you call his name louder, taking off in a run to find him.
You end up rising over a hill you hadnât crossed before, but you see your dad below; you recognize his bright blue puffer jacket that Mom got him for his birthday. You call his name, and he looks up at you with fear in his eyes.
Not for himself, but for you.
â¶ïž Keep Reading: Part 3
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Not me watching Santa Clause 3 for the plotâŠ
#~ first year watching SC3 with this knowledge ~#~ I will never see it the same again đ ~#ann margret#medda larkson#newsies#newsies 1992#92sies#santa clause 3#sylvia newman
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girlhood
#i have to fly out to capetown to see mother and im literally debating if i could land in the morning and leave at night on the same day#like. anything longer than that is going to ruin my year.#when she called and did her âkatherine. you have to be here on the 10thâ i literally sobbed in my bed for the rest of the day đđđ#not dyeing my hair black for a year and its getting lighter and lighter everyday and i look like her again#and my therapist telling me âyou need to do things for yourself.â but like can i? sorry that woman traumatised me and i actually cant :)#like everything i do is informed by her#I'm going to go and just like everytime the only way to keep my sanity is to mirror her. talk and sit and speak and read and eat like her#and its such a terrifying experience bc i remember that im capable of emulating her viciousness and maybe i am my mother's daugher đ€ąđ€ąđ€ą#and im going to come back and its going to take fucking months for me to feel like myself again#âoh you look so beautiful just like your motherâ i hope you DIE lol !!! the fact that my conception of beauty was shaped by her#growing up with this cruel beautiful detached woman and realising that at the intersection of beauty and wickness is a lifetime of pain#and still being so desperate for her approval- for any metaphysical proximity to her that i felt elated when#people would tell me i look like her. that it meant i was also beautiful like her and maybe she'll love me a little for it#but now i know for a fact that i do look like her and it makes saliva swell under my tongue - that moment right before you throw up-#when people mention it đ#last time i was in capetown my optic neuritis flared up (and i know for a fact it was that it was ms-stress related from having to see her)#and i thought i hid it so well even though i had near constant headaches & lethargy until she said âkatherine give me the red notebookâ#and i knew that she knew all along. it was so acutely humiliating standing there and knowing she knows i cant see which one is the red one#and she tilted her head and said âwhats the matter? do you not know what red looks like?â#im never going to have kids. my mother and i read eachother so well it can only mean im never too far removed from becoming her#lol!!!!!!!!!
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omg this time last year i was trying to figure out which fic i would write a christmas fic for đ âșïž what a journey đ„č i am never doing that again âșïž
#but it was fun!!#but never again#so much cheating happened on that Google form đ«”#it would be interesting to see the results from a tumblr poll with the same options but literally I think there were 30 options on the 1st#and tumblr only has 12 options lmao#was just thinking of her fondly tho#that was really fun for me đđ
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ski trip || ln4
â summary: annual ski trip with lando, max and p! ft. down bad bf lando
â pairing: lando norris x private!nonfamous!reader
â fc & warnings: none and suggestive and minor bad language- you are responsible for the content you consume
â requested: nope!
ïŸ. âż àšâ€ïžà§â âż . ïŸ
ynuser has made a post đ
liked by landonorris, ln4, oscarpiastri, maxfewtrell, yourbff and 1,238 others
ynuser: and thatâs a wrap on the 2024 season! congrats again to the mclaren team and my little gremlin boy đ§Ą
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landonorris: AWOOOGGAAAAA
ynuser: đđ€đ«¶đ»đđđ»đ«Łđ„č
oscarpiastri: i was so scared he was going to drop it
ynuser: you and me both osco
muppet4: AWOOGA THATS MY GIRL
ynuser: not the priv too đ
muppet4: had to make sure you knew i thought you looked hot
carlossainz55: simp đ«”đ»
ynuser: thatâs him your honor
maxfewtrell: did you swipe me one of those ornaments
ynuser: yes multiple dw
lilyzneimer: prettiest girl at the party
ynuser: no baby that was you
oscarpiastri: đ«Ł
ynuser has posted to their story đ
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landonorris: thanks for not posting the strip poker pic đ«Ł
ynuser: HA i didnât but i wouldnât put it past max
maxfewtrell: letâs gooooooo
yourbff: yeeeeee iâm so excited for you
ynuser: eeek me toooooo
pietra.pilao: huge agree đ€â·ïž
ynuser: missed you sm bestie
carlossainz55: where was my invite amiga?
ynuser: mi amigo it was sent but someone said they were busy đ
lilyzneimer: wish we were there with you!!! next time đ€
ynuser: next time pleaseee!! i know i just saw you at the holiday party but my god i already miss you
pietra.pilao has posted to her story
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maxfewtrell: what about me???
pietra.pilao: what about you?
maxfewtrell: đ
ynuser: my girl đ«¶đ»đ„čđđ
pietra.pilao: i love you long time
pietra.pilao: can you just move to london with max and i
ynuser: i love you more đ€ ill work on getting lan to move to london asap đ
user2: serving so hard it criminal
landonorris: NO!!! thatâs the love of MY life!!!!!
pietra.pilao: get in line
landonorris: god dammit i knew i should never have introduced you two
pietra.pilao: bc she likes me more?
landonorris: yes đ
user1: omg mothers are mothering
yourbff: god iâm so in love with you both
muppet4 posted to their story
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elmatador55: this angle makes you look tall
muppet4: thanks mate! i grew a few inches đââïž
maxfewtrell: canât believe you made me take this to only post it on the priv ?!
ynuser: i wish we could stay like this in our little snow bubble forever
muppet4: same darling. id love to be able to spend every single second of all my time with you but it makes the time we do have that much sweeter đ€
ynuser: very true sweet boy
muppet4: plusssss youâre coming to more races next season so it wont be as bad i promise
ynuser: starting my full time wag duties đ«Ą
oscinha: keepin it pg i see
muppet4: always
m4xlol: my eyes đ
muppet4: close em đ
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iamrebeccad: as you SHOULD!
user4: any day that we get y/n crumbs is a good day
ynuser: thanks for the bag baby đ
landonorris: anything for my world đ
ynuser: i love you đ€
landonorris: god say it again
ynuser: i love you forever
landonorris: mm yeah you do
landonorris: i love you too â€ïž
maxverstappen1: she deserves it đ©
landonorris: you right đ
user18: lando can you fight?
yourbff: this is the richest and bougiest thing iâve ever seen
landonorris: lv in snow is next level
ynuser has made a post đ
liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, iamrebeccad, yourbff, muppet4, maxverstappen1, and 989 others
ynuser: how lucky i am to live this life with you đ€
view all 57 comments
yourbff: cutie patootie
ynuser: đ„čđ€
carmenmundt: the perfect couple
ynuser: says you and georgie
landonorris: man donât make me cry
ynuser: ur a cute crier
landonorris: itâs just bc i love you sm
maxverstappen1: heâs the lucky one y/n/n
muppet4: unbelievably lucky mate
maxverstappen1: đđ»
pietra.pilao: snow angel đ«¶đ»
landonorris has made a post
liked by carlossainz55, mclarenf1, oscarpiastri, lancestroll, georgerussell63, and 657,235 others
landonorris: would give anything for break to never end
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maxfewtrell: heard the real estate prices are cheaper here than monaco
pietra.pilao: no itâs better in london pls
ynuser: yes lando london is quite nice this time of year i hear
landonorris: yeah no itâs not y/n
maxfewtrell: itâs actually horrible this time of year
user12: god you two are perfect
user23: Y/N CRUMBS YEEEEEE
ynuser: you and that puppy makes me want a puppy
landonorris: i can make that happen
ynuser: đđ«”đ»đ¶
mclarenf1: going to pretend we didnât see this! you gotta get back on track soon!
user24: y/n is literally so gorgeous how did he bag such a baddie
user19: if my man donât post me like this i donât want him
ïŸ. âż àšâ€ïžà§â âż . ïŸ
a/n: thanks for reading!! likes and reblogs appreciated đ«¶đ»
ïŸ. âż àšâ€ïžà§â âż . ïŸ
disclaimer: pictures are not mine and everything i write is fiction
© norrisainz33 || please do not rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform
#f1 fandom#formula 1#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 smau#f1 social media au#f1 x reader#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x reader#lando norris smau#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando x reader#ln4 x y/n#ln4 imagine#ln4 fic#ln4 smau#ln4 social media au#lando norris social media au#ln4 x you
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Fan Favorite (FC43)
summary: franco and y/n are everyone's favorite couple in the paddock. they serve, fans eat it up - simple as that.
franco colapinto x driver!reader
based on two different requests I got
cw: google translated spanish, lando and y/n are friends but they're hating on each other, franco is a simp, smidge of williams slander
fc: emily carey
liked by yourusername, williamsracing, oscarpiastri and 250,674 more
francolapinto: te amo mucho, mi corazon
tagged: yourusername
comments:
yourusername: te amo <3
user3442: oh to be franco colapinto
user332: franco can you fight?
landonorris: that last photo was a bit tmi
yourusername: no one made you look norizz landonorris: you're so mean
ynupdates: when I'm in a who's a bigger y/n fan competition but my opponent is franco
francolapinto: my beautiful girl
user33: dude this is your own post
user201: oh to be loved the way franco loves y/n
liked by francolapinto, williamsracing, landonorris and 1.547.365 more
yourusername: it's race weekend baby!
tagged: francolapinto, williamsracing
comments:
williamsracing: our favorite driver is back in the garadge
francolapinto: mi hermosa novia
francolapinto: mygirlmygirlmygirl
user323: another day of franco being in the likes before me
user22: franco's in the likes before the photos are even posted atp
landonorris: can't wait to outscore you again
yourusername: dude I'm driving a williams?! yourusername: admin don't look
ynnation: prettiest driver
ynupdates: franco looking at y/n is all of us
comments:
user221: no because that caption is so real
ynsbettercar: they're so obsessed with each other it's not even fair
f1fanat1c: find someone who looks at you the way franco looks at y/n
user553: so real, because if he's not like this then I don't want him
mclursa: praying for a relationship like theirs
th3ssf: they are the standard
livelughsformula: no because this is how franco looks at y/n đ
user44: I too would look at my girlfriend like that if she was y/n l/n
f1wagupdates: y/n and franco spotted out having breakfast
comments:
oneonef: love how f1 wags posted this
user443: franco is y/n's wag first, williams driver second
ynupdates: fav couple
user090: they're so cute together
usrrs: having a relationship like theirs is not a want it's a need atp
usef1: mama and papa
user442: same, except I'm older than them
userrr: franco and y/n are why I believe in love
liked by landonorris, francolapinto, oscarpiastri and 998.546 more
yourusername: national boyfriend day post
tagged: francolapinto
comments:
francolapinto: ai corazon, you said you wouldn't post these
yourusername: I lied
username43: franco looks so cute with those glasses
use221: why is he looking at me like that
landonorris: the 3rd picture is unsettling me
yourusername: scroll away bitch landonorris: *gasp*
francolapinto: te amo te amo te amo
yourusername: <3
carmenmmundt: I came here for a pretty girl instead I got a Franco post
yourusername: you can come over instead ;) francolapinto: on a post appreciating me? yourusername: shh fran, I'm shooting my shot
userrrsa: googling how to become franco colapinto, brb
liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, yourusername and 896.554 more
francolapinto: girlfriend appreciation post
tagged: yourusername
comments:
yourusername: you said the first picture would never see light of day
francolapinto: not nice being lied to is it?
user443: y/n's slaying no matter what
userrr2: mother is mothering
user445: franco can you fight?
francolapinto: đđ
yourusername: idk if I feel appreciated enough
francolapinto: wait until I get back home and I'll appreciate you some more user003: do you need a third?
user332: y/n l/n the most beautiful woman
thsfd3: get mother something better than a williams pls
user992: if they break up I'll kill myself, no cap
userrrw: real
#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#formula one imagine#f1 x female reader#f1 x you#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 x you#formula 1#f1 smau#franco colapinto x you#franco colapinto x reader#franco colapinto#franco colapinto fic#fc43 x reader#fc43 x you#fc43 imagine
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baby alonso
charles leclerc x alonso!reader
warnings - swearing, google translate spanish, dad!fernando, tomfoolery + shenanigans (it is alonso!reader so are we suprised), i think that's it xoxo
face claim - girls on pinterest
y/n.alonso
liked by astonmartinf1, fernandoalo_oficial and 409,345 others
y/n.alonso: causing chaos in the aston garage per usual đ
comments
astonmartinf1: not too much chaos though... right
y/n.alonso: of course
fernandoalo_oficial: my daughter is an angel and can do no wrong đ€š
user1: praise the alonso father daughter duo we all say in unison
user2: and to think this man committed war crimes
y/n.alonso: allegedly* đ
liked by fernandoalo_oficial
fernandoalo_oficial: now that you finished with that waste of time you can come to every race just like when you were little cariño!!
y/n.alonso: by 'that waste of time' do you mean the university that you payed for?
fernandoalo_oficial: yes i'm glad we are on the same page mija đ©·
user3: you heard it here first fernando alonso says university isn't important
astonmartinf1: this is not the view if the aston martin f1 team or any of our sponsors
user4: is he trying to kill admin?
astonmartinf1: i fear he might be đ„Č
user5: baby alonso is the paddock princess
user6: she is living the dream for real
y/n.alonso: it is pretty sweet being a nepo child đȘ
lance_stroll: you know it đ
user7: i'm praying for aston points
y/n.alonso: hang on i'll pull some strings brb
y/n.alonso: dad! lance! score some points!
liked by astonmartinf1
user8: she's so pretty đ
charles_leclerc: she really is
carlossainz55: bro do you actually have a death wish
fernandoalo_oficial: i'll see you on the track leclerc đ
y/n.alonso: papĂĄ!
astonmartinf1
liked by fernandoalo_oficial, y/n.alonso and 245,071 others
tagged: fernandoalo_oficial, lance_stroll and y/n.alonso
astonmartinf1: race weekend with a special guest đ
comments
user9: we love baby alonso
user10: BABY ALONSO
user11: get her to sort aston martin tf out
y/n.alonso: guys i'm trying my best đ
fernandoalo_oficial: mija lawrence is going to make me go to another pr training session if you keep doing this
user12: the king can't get locked up in pr jail!!
charles_leclerc: i might have to swing by the aston garage đ
fernandoalo_oficial: you might fucking not
charles_leclerc: yes fernando, sorry fernando
user13: charles is going to get himself run off the track
user14: charles is a braver man than me fernando might kill him
y/n.alonso: thank you for having me! it's always so so much fun đ©·
liked by astonmartinf1
user15: petition for y/n to be at every race ever please
user16: where do i sign
user17: her paddock fits are literally everything to me
lance_stroll: she has started to give me fashion tips to 'inspire' me please don't encourage her
danielricciardo: you might want to start taking the advice...
lance_stroll: oh đŠ
fernandoalo_oficial
liked by y/n.alonso, charles_leclerc and 324,391 others
fernandoalo_oficial: i think i need to fire my new race engineer she's mean
comments
y/n.alonso: boo đđ
fernandoalo_oficial: don't boo your own father
y/n.alonso: don't be a boring old man
sebastianvettel: she's got you there mate
fernandoalo_oficial: what the fuck are you doing here!?
jensonbutton: she gagged you fr đ
aussiegrit: ate and left no crumbs
sebastianvettel: slay đ
fernandoalo_oficial: what is actually happening
user18: i swear they will never miss an opportunity to try humble nando
liked by sebastianvettel, jensonbutton and aussiegrit
user19: i'm sure charles wouldn't mind having y/n as a race engineer
fernandoalo_oficial: no.
user20: the way i would never speak again
user21: noo i would love them together
liked by charles_leclerc
user22: in my head they ARE together
astonmartinf1: i mean we did get points this weekend soooo...
y/n.alonso: you're welcome xxx
y/n.alonso
liked by charles_leclerc, astonmartinf1 and 283,912 others
y/n.alonso: home sweet home đ
comments
user23: how is charles always in the likes before me? i have notifications on?!?
charles_leclerc: you snooze you lose mate
user24: he really is just like us (in love with y/n)
user25: too bad he's too scared of alonso to do anything about it đ€·ââïž
yourbestfriend: your outfits always eat pretty girl!
y/n.alonso: aww thank you baby
user26: oh to be called baby by y/n
liked by charles_leclerc
fernandoalo_oficial: have fun!
fernandoalo_oficial: not too much fun though be careful and safe
y/n.alonso: yes papa
user27: he forgot who his daughter was for a second there
liked by fernandoalo_oficial
astonmartinf1: see you next race week!
y/n.alonso: wouldn't miss it!
user28: yesss
iamrebeccad: i miss you (and your gossip)
y/n.alonso: miss you too (don't worry i have plenty more)
user29: show it to me rachel!!!!
charles_leclerc: i'm in madrid too we should meet up
fernandoalo_oficial: what are you doing??
y/n.alonso: i might take you up on that offer cha đ€
fernandoalo_oficial: noooo stop this
user30: this is sending me đ
user31: the way they are fully ignoring him
user32: i won't ever get over y/n calling him cha
liked by charles_leclerc
charles_leclerc
liked by y/n.alonso, carlossainz55and 592,842 others
charles_leclerc: time to unwind
comments
user33: wait is that y/n???
user34: it totally looks like her
user35: my chay/n heart can't take this
user36: the matching shirt with the dress? please!!!
user37: charles + spain = slaggy pictures
user38: and we thank him for it
liked by y/n.alonso
user39: omg y/n does not give a fuck
carlossainz55: where was my invite bro?
charles_leclerc: i'm so sorry i was too busy...
carlosainz55: i thought it was bros before hoes
chalres_leclerc: nah my hoe is 4 life
user40: so unserious i swear
pierregasly: i love knowing things nobody else knows
user41: tell me please
user42: pierre is my biggest opp rn
pierregasly: don't hate the player hate the game
user43: he is the king of gossip
liked by charles_leclerc
user44: i've been manifesting this for months i hope it's y/n
user45: oh so you're crazy crazy?
y/n.alonso
liked by yourbestfriend, charles_leclerc and 12,812 others
caption- look who i bumped into đ
replies
charles_leclerc: you say this like we didn't come here together
y/n.alonso: i'm trying to be mysterious and nonchalant
charles_leclerc: dork đ€
y/n.alonso: you know you love it
user46: OMG
user47: this is so important to me
fernandoalo_oficial: tell him not to try anything
y/n.alonso: whatever papa đ
charles_leclerc
liked by y/n.alonso, carlossainz55 and 872,849 others
tagged: y/n.alonso
charles_leclerc: happy 6 months mon amour đ©·
comments
user48: they are already my favorite couple ever
user49: the way i will be yapping about them i am about to get at least 10 times more annoying
user50: as you should tbh
user51: i'm so so happy for them but this might take fernando out
user52: i just know he is being restrained by aston martin rn so he can't comment
astonmartinf1: đ€
user53: the goat is being silenced
pierregasly: now the secret is out i feel less special
user54: it's a tough life out here for the gossipy hoes
pierregasly: don't i know it
y/n.alonso: i love you
charles_leclerc: i love you more
user55: ew are they going to start being sappy on main now
pierregasly: i fear they might
liked by charles_leclerc and y/n.alonso
oscarpiastri: bwoah
user56: felt that
user57: charles has... game?
maxverstappen1: we are all as surprised as you are mate
user58: flabbergasted fr
maxverstappen1: he bamboozled us all with his loserness
user59: max i know you're not talking rn
y/n.alonso
liked by iamrebeccad, charles_leclerc and 17251 others
caption- this jacket looks supa cute!
replies
fernandoalo_oficial: ewww it's so ugly đ€ą
y/n.alonso: papa i'm sorry for not telling you about charles earlier
fernandoalo_oficial: i'm not over it yet i feel betrayed
fernandoalo_oficial: i just need time mija
y/n.alonso: you are so dramatic old man
fernandoalo_oficial: what the sigma?
user60: my favorite wag and nepo baby
charles_leclerc: please tell me you bought it mon coeur
y/n.alonso: yep! and when you get back to the hotel i'll be waiting for you wearing just that
charles_leclerc: fuck i'm on my way right now i'll just get the food delivered you aren't going anywhere
y/n.alonso: yes sir
charles_leclerc: you kill me cherie
user61: I JUST KNOW CHARLES IS LOSING HIS SHIT
charles_leclerc
liked by yourbestfriend, fernandoalo_oficial and 436,592 others
tagged: y/n.alonso
charles_leclerc: my ferrari girl â€ïž
comments
fernandoalo_oficial: i'm still mad but no one told me but this is actually kind of cute ig
charles_leclerc: woo he likes me now
y/.alonso: don't push it amor đ
user62: i'm sobbing he loves her so much
user63: if my bf ain't like this then i don't want it
y/n.alonso: he is pretty great icl
fernandoalo_oficial: i think i preferred when i didn't know about this... now you don't shut up about him
user64: she is so me
y/n.alonso: i'm you're ferrari girl
charles_leclerc: that's right baby
user65: shut up shut up i can't handle this
user66: they are literally everything
user67: i don't know how charles managed to hide this for 6 months
user68: now he posts y/n all the time đ€
user69: ikr its so cute!!
carlossainz55: he can't keep a secret to save his life so he just yapped to me and pierre all. the. time
pierregasly: and he wasn't exactly subtle in the comments đ€š
scuderiaferrari: y/n is a ferrari girl confirmed đŠ
liked by y/n.alonso
user70: everyone is a ferrari fan
user71: even if they are not, they are a ferrari fan
a/n - thank you for reading i hope you enjoyed and as always any feedback is apppreciated <3
#f1#formula 1#charles leclerc#cl16#charles leclerc x reader#cl16 x reader#charles leclerc smau#f1 x reader#charles leclerc x you#f1 x y/n#charles leclerc x y/n#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 x you#đïž#charles leclerc social media au#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc fluff
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i'll love you forever
pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader
summary: you were sunghoon's first everything; first friend, first love, and first heartbreak. after years of quietly crushing on you, he was finally ready to confess. so ready to confess, that he told his parents the two of you were already dating! it was an easy enough lie to keep up and he kept it up for months, what could possibly go wrong? he thought. little did he know, you would have a falling out and stop talking for months.. and then, you'd both get invited to spend a week at home with his parents, who still believe you're his girlfriend.
genre: smut, fluff, angst, college au, childhood best friends to lovers, fake dating
warnings: minors dni, fake dating is pretty mild (sorry), she kinda doesnât rate him at the start, these two kind of exist in a vacuum a little bit idk i had a self-enforced word count to stick to and broke it.. (im within the 10% allowance !), sunghoon in a vest, sunghoon arms, sunghoon
word count: 21,858
playlist: click here.. (for my non-spotify babes, the main song is light by wave to earth (which for some reason i put last.. whatever))
author's note: for silly @asahicore. happy birthday pooks i hope it's amazing and that u enjoy reading this when u have the time !!! LOL (lots of love) also im never writing without telling you things again this was so absurd.
to everyone else.. ok happy reading also emma did not beta read this so im sure it's missing its charm .. anyway it's for emma not you đ anyway i hope u enjoy regardless and lmk ur thoughts! omg this is the first fic im nervous about posting.......... please enjoy or else.
In the three years since Park Sunghoon moved away for university, heâd been doing a pretty good job of going home to see his parents. Theyâd welcome their baby back to the nest with open arms and wide grins. With a rehearsed level of indifference, his younger sister, Yeji, would say, âOh, I didnât know you were coming home this weekend.â when she saw him at the dinner table. Sunghoon pretended to only be marginally hurt by this.Â
In the last three months, he hasnât so much as sent a text to his parents.Â
Or to you.Â
Ignoring texts from his mother is devastating. Between classes, he watches as, âHi, sweetie, I love you đ,â turns into, âMissing you, honey, know you must be busy but spare some time for your old mummy, no?â which turns into, âGetting really worried now, are you doing okay? Has something happened with YN? Talk to me, I love you, my baby boy!âÂ
Ignoring texts from you is easy because texts from you never come.Â
Sitting at the end of his bed, Sunghoon rereads a text his mother sent a few minutes ago: Please talk to me, son. Really worried and YN isnât answering calls either. Whatâs going on with you two?
When he leaves his room, he finds Jake lying on the couch, and with his keys in hand, Sunghoon says, âIâm going home.âÂ
And the drive is great! At least, he tells his mum it is. In truth, the drive home without you was nearly impossible. Your ever-expanding home time playlist buzzed through the speakers in his car, but without you there to screech along to the songs, it wasnât the same. He felt your absence the most when he stopped to get petrol and you werenât there behind him struggling to carry enough snacks to feed a small family without offering to pay.Â
The look of worry on his mumâs face stirs a pit in his stomach. âWhy are you so quiet these days? God, you look so tired,â she says, frowning. âIs it school? Or something with YN? Itâs not like her not to text back.â Her brows crease as she whispers the word unless. She pulls him into a hug, her chin resting perfectly on his shoulder, and her comforting hand strokes the hair on the back of his head. âBreakups are never easy, honey. Iâm so sorry, I know how much you love her.âÂ
Breakups are never easy. The sentence hangs heavy over his head.Â
Whether she knows it or not, sheâs handed him a get-out-of-jail-free card, the opportunity to set things straight, to end this mess once and for all. No further questions, and most importantly, no more lies.Â
For the first time since he left your flat three months ago, Sunghoon lets himself cry. Heâd imagined this moment countless times, his first cry since you ended things. In his mind, it was always intense. Today, as it happens, only a few salty tears leak from his eyes, spilling onto the cuff of his sleeve, darkening the blue cotton in tiny indigo splotches.Â
âWe didnât break up,â he says in a small voiceâfor some reason. âIâm just having a hard time.â Neither statement is technically untrue, but the words taste rotten in his mouth.
The tightening grip of his mumâs arms around his body is what brings on the harsh, shoulder-racking sobs heâd been anticipating. For a while, they stand like this, Sunghoon weeping into his mumâs cardigan until she sends him upstairs to lie down, promising a cup of tea that never comes.Â
His childhood bedroom is chilly, so he changes into clothes he left behind and climbs into bed, pulling his duvet up to his chin. He turns his head to look at the walls and the room around him, everything is exactly where he left it in the summer. It should be comforting, but itâs weird to be home without you.Â
There are photos of you and him everywhere, growing up and around each other through different stages of life. The two of you together during the summer your family moved in next door, you wore glasses back then and were the first friend heâd made in his life. Sunbathing and sharing earphones at the beach, listening to music together on your iPod classic. Sunghoon in thick glasses with a stiff smile and your arm around him on the first day of high school. Wide grins at the start of this summer, the last time things were okay between you.Â
Overwhelmed, he stares up at the ceiling, only realising heâs crying when a hot tear slips from his eyes to tickle his ear. Because Sunghoon likes to upset himself, he screws his eyes shut and thinks about the night before you stopped talking.Â
Though he didnât know it at the time, youâd left Yeonjunâs place to sit with him in a tiny restaurant on campus, the one youâd only visit to toast to each otherâs heartbreaks. It had become a ritual â ever since your first year boyfriend dumped you after two weeks â to cry as much as you wanted and drink as much soju as your bodies could handle before stumbling back to your apartments.Â
Having spent years suffering from an unrequited crush on his best friend, Sunghoon was always the one to comfort you. But that night was different; you were there to comfort him. It was easy enough to play the part of âboy whose crush likes someone elseâ because he spent your entire friendship in that role. Heâd had no problem accepting his fate, but his composure started to slip when you met Yeonjun. It was the first time youâd dated someone who Sunghoon had reason to be jealous of. In every way, Yeonjun was better than himâtaller, funnier, hotter. Sunghoon knew he didnât stand a chance. He took it personally, you liking Yeonjun instead of him, and let his jealousy consume him from the inside out.Â
This jealousy led him to start telling you about Minjeongâlying to you about Minjeong, and his feelings for her. She was a girl from a college out of town that he saw on his Instagram Explore page. He followed her by accident, and by some stroke of luck, she followed back. Sunghoon didnât really have feelings for her â he didnât even know her â but she was a girl that you didnât know, so you wouldnât be able to meddle.Â
It only took a few weeks for Sunghoon to become so upset about your relationship that he couldnât hide his emotions anymore. So, in a fit of tears, he told you over the phone that things ended badly with Minjeong, and he was in urgent need of a soju ceremony.Â
But the night was missing its usual comforts.
It was strange to be the one crying, to see you looking put together and ordering the food. To see you pouring the drinks and raising your glass to propose a toast to âHoonieâs first heartbreakâ. You were driving that night, so you only had a tiny sip of soju and let him drink as much as he needed, the way he always did for you, at the same table, in the same restaurant for years.Â
Hours later, in your car, you entertained his drunken rambles, though he remembers how your lips were set into a frown that he wanted to kiss away while you gripped the steering wheel like you thought it would run from you. Sunghoon was more drunk than heâd been in a while, drunk enough to let you sling his arm over your shoulders and keep him upright until you reached his flat.Â
The voices coming from Yejiâs room disrupt the memory. Heâs thankful.
âYour brotherâs going through something, so be nice to him this weekend.â His motherâs voice is her version of hushedâa loud whisper.Â
Yejiâs response is harder to make out, but he doesnât miss the way their mum says, âI mean it, missy.âÂ
A dramatic sigh rumbles through Yeji as she barges into his room without knocking. Sunghoon sits up, feeling an ache in his back and crossing his legs.Â
âMum told me to lay off you today, which is fine, but before I do, I need to tell you something.âÂ
Yeji pushes the door shut behind her, and the open window makes it slam, both of them flinching from the sudden noise. She pulls her hair out of a silk scrunchie and throws herself on the floor. A pang of irritation forms in his chest, knowing that he could immediately find the empty hanger in his wardrobe where the shirt sheâs wearing used to live.Â
âI hate you and your perfect golden boy image, Hoon. Would it kill you to fail a class for once? I donât know how Iâm supposed to carry on your legacy.â Sheâs looking up at him, her chin in her hands and irritation written in the crease between her thick brows.Â
Itâs impossible to know if itâs because of Yejiâs complete lack of boundaries or the fact that her âperfect, golden boyâ big brother is on track to fail three out of three classes and get cut from the hockey team, but Sunghoon immediately bursts into tears.Â
âOh, uh.. Iâm sorry?â Yeji offers. âI was kidding if that helps.âÂ
âIâm alright, itâs okay.â The tears donât stop stinging his eyes. âWhy do you want me to change everything about myself?âÂ
With a frown, Yeji pours out her frustration and mild resentment. She doesnât understand how Sunghoon effortlessly conquers every aspect of life while she struggles. Neither do their parents, who had been baffled by her plummeting grades since she moved to boarding school, especially when Sunghoonâs academic performance has only soared since he left for university. The weight of this perceived injustice pulls Sunghoonâs shoulders down with guilt as she talks about the expectations he has inadvertently set for her.Â
âBut other than that, Iâm good.â She shrugs, sitting with her legs out, and leaning back on her palms. âHowâs YN?â she asks. Itâs clear from the brightness in her voice that she thinks sheâs helping.Â
Sunghoon cries again.Â
Back on campus, heâs trying to scrape together whatâs left of his academic career with the help of two of the smartest guys he knows, and their friend Jay. Though the word âfriendâ feels a little strong at the moment given the way Jayâs goading him.Â
Sunghoon rolls his eyes, sitting back in his seat. âThereâs nothing you can do that I canât,â he says, meaning every word.Â
Jay scoffs, shrugging and raising his brow in a way that, over the years, Sunghoon knows to interpret as his âabout to say something ridiculousâ look. âPretty sure I could call YN right now, and sheâd answer.âÂ
Thereâs a pit in Sunghoonâs stomach as Heeseung turns his head in the other direction like heâs been slapped, trembling with stifled laughter. At least Jake doesnât hide his amusement, throwing his head back in a fit of giggles that draw nasty looks from the other students in the library. Sunghoon doesnât waste his energy trying to argue because Jayâs right.
Now composed, Heeseung turns back to the table, flipping through some of Sunghoonâs course materials to find whatever his class was doing in class that week. The English Literature class heâs taking â The Modernist Movement: Joyce, Woolf, and Hemingway â is the same class he had to send a million emails over the summer to get enrolled in, but itâs the same one Heeseung aced two years ago. Lucky for him none of the boys seem to be in the mood to make fun of him for trying so hard to have a class in common with you, and then practically failing out of it before the term had started properly.
âThis class is, like, beyond easy, dude.â Heeseung pauses to sniffle and twist the stud in his ear. âEveryone in my class aced it. How are you doing so badly already?âÂ
âI only took it because YN thought itâd be fun if we had a class together, but.. I kind of havenât been going since we stopped talking.â Sunghoon shrugs, pretending to be unaffected.Â
As if the mere mention of your name has some sort of summoning power, like saying Biggie Smalls in the mirror three times, you appear in his eye line, rounding the corner with a furious stride. Your demeanour crumbles when Jay waves at you, and you grin, waving back, but as soon as you look Sunghoon in the eye again, the rage comes back, and you smack a hand on the table when you reach it, leaning over to him.Â
âSunghoon, a word?â you ask.
He thinks youâre asking, but itâs hard to tell with the way you set your jaw afterwards, and the way the warmth of your signature vanilla scent hits him hard. Dazed, Sunghoon lifts a hand, pointing at himself. âMe?âÂ
âDoes anyone else at the table answer to Sunghoon?âÂ
âOkay,â he says, somewhat pathetically, nudging Jay for laughing at him.Â
As slowly as possible, Sunghoon pushes his chair from the table and stands up, following you to the corner of the references section where only anthropology students in scratchy thrift store knits, and Jay, come to check out encyclopaedias by volume. You look good, save for the rage written all over your faceâwhich, honestly, Sunghoon thinks he likes.
Sunghoon isnât sure what to expect, so he says, âHey.â Heâs being cautious, waiting a moment to gauge your reaction. âWhatâs gooooood?â His cheeks burn as soon as he closes his mouth around the vowel, but you laugh. You laugh, and itâs beautiful and happy, and youâre laughing because of himâor at him, but heâs glad either way.Â
Annoyance quickly clears all traces of amusement on your face. âWere you ever going to tell me weâre spending next week at Mum and Dadâs?â you ask.Â
Sunghoon gasps dramatically, clicking his fingers. âI knew there was something Iâve been meaning to do.âÂ
His attempt at lightening the mood falls flat, and you only nudge his shoulder gently, sighing. âCan you be serious? For once in your life, even for a second, can you please think about how the things you say affect me?â Youâre frowning, crossing your arms over your chest and looking at your feet. âItâs not fair, Sunghoon. For you to keep saying thingsâmaking plans involving me and then acting like Iâm the bad guy when I turn you down.âÂ
âI donât think youâre the bad guy at all,â Sunghoon admits. âIf anyone is in the wrong, itâs me, I guess.â
You scoff, looking at him like you hate him. âYou guess? Are you serious?â You look furious, but you sound hurt and Sunghoon hates it. Hates himself. âI canât have this conversation with you right now. Tell mum Iâm sick, and itâs contagious.â You roll your eyes and walk away, leaving Sunghoon alone with his thoughts and judgemental stares from students in crochet scarves so long they graze the floor.Â
He sighs, slumping against the wall. How does he keep getting it wrong with you?Â
Back at the table, Sunghoon manages to act like heâs not falling apart and makes some serious headway on his missing assignments with Heeseungâs help before they call it a day as the sun starts to set.Â
When he gets home, he lies down on his bedroom floor, spending hours poring over the conversation you had. Over the minute changes in your facial expression, the tone of your voice, and the endless list of things he should have done, rather than watch you walk away.Â
The moment feels familiar, both identical to and worlds apart from what happened after you left three months ago. When he managed to scrape the last shreds of his dignity from the kitchen table, he dragged his feet to his room and lay down like he is now, face to the rug. That day, he left his door open and lay so still that Jake thought he was dead. Sunghoon remembers wishing he had been.Â
For once in your life, even for a second, can you please think about how the things you say affect me? The words run on a loop in his mind, over and over, until he canât remember the order of the sentence or where you put emphasis. Theyâre cutting all the same.Â
Sunghoon sighs into the itchy fibres of his black rug before rolling onto his back. In the diminishing purple light of the setting sun. he looks at the walls of his room. At the Fleetwood Mac poster, he stole from Jay when they moved out of their first year dorm, that curls away from the wall towards the ceilingâa diagonal strip of shiny tape being the only indication of the otherwise invisible tear through the face of Stevie Nicks.Â
Heâs glad when his phone rings, cutting through the quiet, though the sight of your name and the anatomical heart emoji next to it only dampens his spirit. Reluctantly, Sunghoon answers the phone, holding it to his ear.Â
âI just got off the phone with Dad..â You trail off. Tangible silence follows, so thick it weighs on his chest. âIâll go home with you.âÂ
âYou will?âÂ
âYes. Goodbye.âÂ
Sunghoon reaches your flat at five in the evening. You donât smile when you open the door for him, nor do you invite him in. Instead, you dump your bag at your feet and he cringes, looking from the floor to you. Youâre aggressively beautiful and cosy-looking as you pull a jacket over the sweater you wore that night. Sunghoonâs heart aches in his chest and he wonders if you even realise. Suddenly, the memory of the last thing you said the morning after hits him like a truck: Then letâs not be friends at all.Â
A familiar weight lands on his shoulderâyour hand. Concern lines your eyes as you ask if heâs okay.Â
With a lump in his throat, Sunghoon nods.Â
In the discomfort of his car, the two of you sit in silence while he starts the drive home.Â
âHowâs Yeonjun,â he asks, eyes flicking towards you but regretting it immediately when he sees how you clench your jaw.Â
âNo,â you say simply, shaking your head. âYou donât get to ask me about him.âÂ
These are the only words you exchange until Sunghoon stops for petrol. He has enough fuel for the rest of the journey, but he feels like dying and thinks the fresh air might quell his thoughts of running his car off the road. Like always, the two of you get out and head into the kiosk, where he follows you wordlessly through the aisles, watching you debate on snack choices before settling on the same things you always get. Sunghoon pays for your snacks and you roll your eyes but donât protest, mumbling thanks as you take them into your arms, leading the way back outside.
He knows he needs to tell you before you reach the house, but heâs not entirely sure how to say itâso he just does. âMy, uh.. my parents think weâre dating.â
You stop so suddenly in front of him that he almost bumps into you. Stepping around you, Sunghoon keeps walking.Â
Over the top of his car, he watches your face cycle through all five stages of grief until anger comes back around in the loop as you scoff. âWhy do they think that?â Your face is devoid of expression now, the blankness over your features dragging a sharp chill over his spine.Â
He stares blankly at you, processing. âBecause I told them weâre dating,â he mumbles.Â
âWhy did you.. do that?â You tilt your head, eyes pressing shut in a long blink. âWhat are you even talking about? Why did you.. What?âÂ
A thin layer of sweat coats his palms despite the cold. Why did he do that? âWe can stage a breakup during the trip or say we broke up right now,â Sunghoon offers. âJust one night, YN, please.âÂ
The wind whistles by, ruffling your hair and jacket that you hug tightly to your chest. Behind you, Sunghoon takes note of the group of girls standing by the pumps, all five of them jerking their heads abruptly when they notice him watching, suddenly finding interest in the scattered litter and flickering halogen bulbs in the steel canopy over their heads.Â
Youâre staring when he looks back at you, nostrils twitching with a sniffle before you sigh. âOr we could say that youâre a liar and end things there,â you say. âOr better yet, you go down there on your own and tell them the truth.â
Sunghoonâs gaze drops, his thoughts racing in his mind. He knows youâre right. At some point, his parents will have to find out, and itâd be better for them to find out now. Sunghoon sighs, nodding. âAlright,â he concedes. âIâll take you back.â
An angry laugh comes out of you as you shake your head. âNo need, Iâll walk.âÂ
The station youâre at is neatly nestled in the middle of nowhere, on a road so narrow heâs not even sure it has a pavement. Youâre halfway through the three-hour drive, so thereâs no telling how long the walk would be, never mind the fact that the sun is already setting and itâs deep enough into October for the wind to sting.Â
âFrom here?â he asks, incredulous.Â
âYes, open the boot so I can get my bag.âÂ
Sunghoon can only bring himself to say your name, a desperate whisper.Â
âOpen the boot.â
He repeats your name as if itâll make a difference, heâs pleading with you, beggingâthough he doesnât know for what.Â
You go to the back of his car where Sunghoon joins you, a pit in his stomach when you step away. With misty eyes, you look up at him and his heart breaks. âPlease.â
Sunghoon knows you well enough to know that youâre not actually going to attempt the walk home but also knows that you wonât back down if he keeps challenging you. He nods, opening the boot for you and getting into the driverâs seatâyour move.Â
You stand there, unmoving, and long enough passes that he thinks youâll actually leave. The boot closes softly and you join him in the passenger seat. You sigh, buckling your seatbelt. âLetâs just get this over with.âÂ
For the rest of the journey, you sit in silence as Sunghoon briefs you on the relationship, fighting a smile as he thinks about being your boyfriendâeven if only for a night. You scoff when he âremindsâ you that youâve been together for four months now and the only reason you havenât been able to come home recently is that your schedules donât match up very well anymoreâwhich couldnât be further from the truth as, before term started, you went out to celebrate the fact that your class schedules couldnât be more suited for seeing each other.Â
Finally, at Sunghoonâs childhood home, the two of you smile and laugh for his parents before going to bed. Your relationship has only made his mother more averse to the idea of you sharing a room under her roof than she had been when you were younger. Heâs relieved about this, and in the solitude of his bedroom, he lies on the duvet of his twin bed, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about the last few hours.Â
With his parents, youâd sat up in the living room watching TV. They sat on the couch together, his mum nestled in his dadâs side, while you two sat on the couch opposite, mirroring their position. If your complete stiffness was anything to go by, you were less than comfortable with his arm around you and Sunghoon felt terrible for begging you to go along with this. It was after midnight when you all went upstairs and you let him kiss your forehead before all but slamming the door to the guest room in his face. His heart twirled and his mum beamed at him before saying goodnight again.Â
Now, at 3 a.m. he canât sleep. Flinching at the knock on his door, he furrows his brows and goes to open it. Itâs you. Standing there with your hair scraped away from your face in one of his t-shirts. Your eyes are red, brimmed with tears as you step into his room and sit on his bed.Â
He closes the door softly, heart aching at the sight of you so upset, and when he sits next to you, his heart tears apart because you move over, putting a distance between you. It falls out of his chest onto the floor when he realises youâre not wearing your necklace.Â
Sunghoon suspected you might have stopped wearing it, it only made sense that if you didnât want him, you wouldnât want the necklace he bought for you either, but at least earlier, your sweatshirt sat so high he couldnât see if you had it on or not.Â
It was a gift for your sixteenth birthday, after your first heartbreak. He was so upset and angry that you let some loser hurt you that way, upset and angry that someone could be loved by you and fuck it up. Sunghoon was inspired by Jay, whoâd gotten a pretty necklace for his girlfriend, and talked about her cute reaction for weeks, how happy she was to have a piece of him with her all the time. It was a locket, with a picture of Jay in one side and a picture of her in the other so the pictures would kiss when she wore it.Â
While at the jewellers with Jake, Sunghoon thought something like that might be a bit much for the two of you and eventually picked out an equally pretty piece with his first initial on it. He wrote a corny note to put in the box, something about how âboys come and go but Sunghoon is foreverâ and gave it to you with trembling hands a few nights laterâit was the first time he ever made you cry. Immediately, he thought heâd done something wrong and was ready to snatch the box and run back to the jewellers (even though he trashed the receipt). You hugged him and told him you loved him. Sunghoonâs been riding that high ever since.Â
Until tonight at least.Â
âAre you okay?â he whispers.Â
âIâll do it, Hoon.â Your eyes lift from the floor to meet his gaze. âFor as long as you need me to, Iâll pretend.â
As soon as the words leave your mouth, Sunghoon feels lighter, an unbearable weight slipping from his shoulders. You havenât called him âHoonâ in ages, and he canât tell if youâve said it out of vulnerability, or even noticed that youâve said it at all, but it warms his heart nonetheless. However, heâs not fully at ease, still curious about your sudden change of heart and why youâre crying.Â
âWhat happened?â
You pull him into a hug, and his eyes bulge out of his head. âIt doesnât matter,â you say, the words muffled by the skin at the base of his neck.Â
For as long as heâs known you, youâve smelled like vanilla, a sweet warmth that grounds him. Yet itâs only after these months apart that heâs able to put a name to the sensation: home. The realisation of how much heâs missed this feeling, missed you, floods him with a rush of emotion so overwhelming he canât find the words to press the issue. A moment passes before he remembers to hug you back, his arms finally wrapping around you, pulling you close, and you sink into his hold. Months ago, he would have kissed the top of your head and mumbled reassurance into your hair, but tonight, Sunghoon settles for stroking the back of your head and hopes itâs enough.Â
âYou can talk to me, you know? You can always talk to me.â
A heavy silence follows, sharp as a daggerâscraping his skin, making the hair on the back of his neck stand on edge and lodging itself between his shoulder blades. Sunghoonâs breath hitches in his throat when you cling onto him even tighter, shifting so close youâve had to settle in his lap. His heart races in his chest, pounding a rhythm so loud it fills the room.Â
Finally, you speak, assuring him that you know and that youâre okay. At this, Sunghoon holds you as tight as he can, and neither of you speaks for the rest of the night. You fall asleep like this, in his arms, so deeply that you donât even stir when he lies down.Â
Rubbing your back, he watches the clock on his nightstand, the piercing green LED digits cycling through two whole hours right before his stinging eyes until you wake up. Sunghoon presses his eyes shut, pretending to be asleep when you kiss his cheek and leave his room.Â
For the entire morning, you stay in your room, and although Sunghoon is concerned, he decides not to bother you. In the afternoon, he sits at the dining table with his mum, listening as she talks about work. When she asks him, he gets up to make a cup of tea for her. Itâs at that moment when you finally come downstairs, looking so effortlessly pretty. Your hair is still damp from the shower, and youâre bundled up in one of his old sweatshirts. Thereâs a bright grin on your face that leaves his heart thudding.Â
âBaby!â you squeal when you see him, charging towards him and wrapping your arms around him from behind. âGood morning.â Your words are muffled against the back of his t-shirt, and the four-letter word, and the sugar coating it, make his cheeks burn.Â
âItâs great to see you too, YN,â his mum says with a smile. âMy night was amazing; I slept very well and had no dreams.âÂ
You let go of Sunghoon and walk over to the table, kissing his mum on the cheek and wishing her a good morning as well. âSorry, mum, how are you?âÂ
His mother doesnât seem to have the heart to correct you either, allowing your 3 p.m. âgood morningâ to go unnoticed.Â
Sunghoon carefully fills both mugs to the brim and, with extra caution, carries them to the table. He places a steaming cup of peppermint tea in front of his mum and a milky coffee in front of you. A warm smile spreads across your face as you mouth a âthank youâ, and his knees turn to jelly.Â
The next day, after eating an early dinner with his parents at the table, the four of you go out on a walk along the bike path you used to take for school. His parents have gone ahead, not intentionally, but because Sunghoon canât stop you from dragging your feet.Â
As with most things in the town where you grew up, nothing about the trail has changed. The leaves are yellowing in standard form for the season, and crunching under his feet with each step he takes. The only foreign experience is the silence that youâre determined to uphold. Everything Sunghoon says to you is met with either a hum, a nod, or no acknowledgement at all. At this point, he feels like he could drop dead at your side and the most youâd do is step over his body like a fallen branch.Â
After letting you go ahead, the weathered slats of the wooden footbridge sag in the middle under his tread. Itâs been like this for as long as he can remember and he wonders how nothing has been done about it. The stream rushes under it, loud and unruly, the smell of wet grass both comforting and suffocating as you look over the railing. Itâs like something from a postcard, the low-hanging branches sweeping back and forth under the breeze, the grass lush and green around the path, murky water thrashing against the mud and rocks underneath with you in the middle of the frame, peering over the edge.
You keep walking when Sunghoon approaches, leaving him alone on the creaky bridge with nothing but the ache in his chest. He looks up, staring at the grey clouds in the sky through the gaps in the leaves, and sighs.Â
Eventually, he catches up with you, grabbing your hand and locking his fingers with yours when his parents slow down. You stiffen, looking up at him with cut eyes and a creased brow. âWhat are you doing?â
Sunghoon matches your clipped tone. âHolding my girlfriendâs hand.âÂ
âNo oneâs looking, boyfriend.â
âYou think my parents arenât going to wonder why weâre lagging behind?âÂ
A scoffâyour fingers remain defiantly stiff. âDo you think your parents are going to care whether or not weâre holding hands?âÂ
âMy mum might after the show you put on yesterday afternoon, baby.â Bitterness covers the word like a blanket, a stark departure from how you said it.Â
A long sigh rumbles its way out of you before you fix your lips into a strained grin. âSorry, sweetheart, this is my first time pretending to be in love.âÂ
As your words hang in the air, Sunghoonâs emotions brew like a storm within him. Frustration gnaws at his patience. All hopes for a smooth week are dashed, though determination simmers in his chest with a strong resolve to make this work, to fix your relationship. It doesnât stop the sharp pang of hurt piercing his stomachâhe knows you donât feel the same way, he knows youâre faking, but the word âpretendingâ hits him like a truck anyway.Â
âWe held hands all the time when we were friends,â he points out.
Your smile drops immediately, hurt flashing behind your eyes. âYeah, and now weâre not.âÂ
If there was a competition for who could hurt Sunghoonâs feelings the most, youâd be a shoo-in for first place. With distinction.Â
âExactly!â he says, feeling the sting of his own words. âBecause now weâre dating.â
At the sight of his mum turning around, you switch up in an instant. Lock your fingers with his, wrapping an arm around his bicep, leaning into him, giggling. Itâs forced but his parents are far enough away that all that matters is the curve of your lips.
âYou two okay back there?â she asks.Â
âPerfect! I feel like a kid again!â you call back, beaming up at Sunghoon in a way that makes his stomach flutter even though it doesnât meet your eyes.Â
The two of you donât talk at all when you get home, with you hugging his parents goodnight and running up the stairs.Â
âSheâs not feeling too well,â he explains, nodding when his dad tells him to make you some tea.Â
His parents spend the whole day at work, and you spend the whole day following him around like a shadow until the evening when they return. He doesnât pretend not to like it.
Sunghoon helps you make dinner, turning leftover rice into fried rice with the help of some eggs and vegetables. Itâs nice moving around the kitchen with you, watching you scramble eggs in his t-shirt and bump his hip with a playful frown when he eats some of the peppers youâre chopping.Â
His parents watch from the table, cooing over the two of you and he does his best to fight the blush forming on his cheeks and neck. Embarrassed, he hugs you from behind, hiding his face in your neckâthe scent of your coconut conditioner mixing with your vanilla perfume doesnât do anything to stop the flush.Â
Over a bottle of wine, the four of you eat together at the table, swapping stories about your days. Sunghoon tries to hide his surprise as you lie about the time you spent at the play park by your primary school, competing for height on the swings and spinning on the roundabout until you couldnât stand up. You grin at him, and it meets your eyes as you hold his hand under the table, and kiss his cheek.
After eating, his parents head upstairs, leaving to clean up together. You hum a song heâs never heard as you load the dishwasher, carefully placing the plates and cutlery in the rack, shaking your head when he hands you the glasses youâd used.Â
âLeave ours,â you say. âIf you want.âÂ
Sunghoon nods, putting them back on the table, where you sit in the seat across from the one he was sitting in. He sits too, staying quiet rather than saying the wrong thing. You donât speak either. Itâs reminiscent of the pastâthe hours youâd spend in the same room, only speaking to share a funny post youâd come across or to ask if you were hungry.Â
His eyes track your movementsâreaching for the half-empty bottle on the table to pour yourself another glass, filling it to the brim. Before putting it down, you offer him some, filling his glass too when he nods. The three glasses of wine heâs already had must be the reason he wants to reach across the table and hold your hand, run his thumb over the soft skin on the back of it.Â
Sunghoon doesnât know why youâve been so nice to him all day or why it makes his chest hurt.Â
âYou know you donât have to be nice to me when weâre alone, right?â The words come out before he can stop them.
Over the top of your glass, your brows knit together. A sound of confusion, a low hum, comes from your throat as you try to finish your sip. âWhat?â you ask finally.Â
âI only asked you to do this because of my parents, you know? You donât have to sit or talk with me when theyâre not around.âÂ
Sunghoonâs known you long enough to recognise the look that flashes across your face. The way your eyes narrow and your brows tug together, the little pout that sets on your lips before you speak; youâre hurt.
âWhy canât I just be nice to you because itâs the right thing to do?âÂ
Because it hurts, is what he wants to say. He wants to cry, to beg you to forget everything he said that day. âBecause I donât want to make you any more uncomfortable than I already have.â Is what he settles for.Â
Your face softens. âI donât feel uncomfortable around you, Hoon. We were best friends for ages, I donât think you could ever make me uncomfortable.â You pause to take a gulp of wine. âWhy canât I just want to be nice to you?âÂ
Sunghoon has to chew on his cheek to distract himself from how much your word choice stings. The implications of were and all of your past tense. âIâm sorry,â he says.Â
âWhat for?âÂ
âEverything.âÂ
Thereâs a sadness in the way you run your fingers on the base of your glass. The way you chew on your lip, how your hair falls when you tilt your head and how it moves when you shake it. âItâs not your fault,â you say. âI donât know anyone who would choose to have unrequited feelings for their best friend.âÂ
Wow, he thinks. Youâre on a roll. Sunghoon wonders if youâre meticulously choosing your phrasing to upset him. Wonders why you feel the need to remind him that his feelings arenât reciprocated as if he didnât live through and spend hours reliving the day he confessed.Â
âBut I didnât have to tell you about it. It was unfair of me to spring that on you when I knew about Yeonjun.âÂ
âDid you.. did you think I was going to leave him for you?âÂ
âMaybe?â Sunghoon chews on his lipâhe has no idea what he thought would happen. âI think I thought I loved you enough for both of us, that you might play the part for fun or out of curiosity, and.. I donât know, just learn to love me.â
âHoon,â you whisper, frowning. âHow could you even think about settling for something like that?âÂ
Sunghoon shrugs. âItâs not settling if itâs you.âÂ
Silence takes a seat at the table after he speaks, interrupted only by the ticking clock on the wallâa glittery mess of scrapbooking paper and washi tape layered over each other that Yeji had decorated at summer camp years ago. Youâre picking at your fingernails, letting flecks of black polish fall to the table, stark against the varnished oak.Â
âI know itâs not my place to ask,â Sunghoon starts after a while, hesitant and only continuing when you nod. âBut what did Yeonjun say when you told him? About.. everything?âÂ
You take a long sip from your glass and sit quietly for so long that he thinks youâre not going to answer himâhe doesnât blame you.Â
âI didnât.âÂ
He waits for you to elaborate. You donât.Â
Sunghoon nods slowly, deciding not to ask any follow-up questions. Instead, he takes another drink, scrunching his nose at the bitter taste. âHe didnât ask why we stopped hanging out?â he blurts out.
âI told him we fell out but I didnât say why.â You shrug, but your posture is stiff.Â
âWhere did you tell him you were going to be this week?â He knows itâs not his business at all, that heâs pushing your boundaries, but he canât help his curiosity.
âNowhere.âÂ
âYou told him you were staying on campus?âÂ
âI didnât tell him anything.â Your gaze shifts, avoiding his as you toy with the stem of your glass. You drum your nails against it, letting the dull clink ring out.Â
âSo you just left?âÂ
âDoes it make a difference to you?âÂ
Sunghoon nods.
For a while, you tug at the drawstrings on your hoodie, pursing your lips to the side, considering this. âYeonjun and I arenât together anymore.â Your admission is so shocking that Sunghoonâs jaw drops. He tries to cover his surprise by coughing, his tongue sticking out like a small child. âI didnât want to say anything because I didnât want you to think it was because of you.âÂ
Sunghoonâs thoughts move at lightspeed, too fast for him to catch onto any of them and process this information. His emotions compete with each otherâdisbelief, guilt, and a painful glimmer of hope he hadnât dared to acknowledge until now all at the forefront.Â
âWas it?â he asks. âBecause of me?âÂ
You scoffâan incredulous sound that doesnât match the sad look on your face. âI donât know, Sunghoon. Do you think my boyfriend used me to make his ex jealous because of you?â
Heâs not sure what he expected you to say, but this is.. Complete disbelief eclipses him as his heart sinks in his chest, shock, and guilt bubbling in his stomach.Â
âIâm sorry,â he says after too long. âThat I wasnât there. That I havenât been there.âÂ
âYou didnât know,â you say, gaze softening as you look up at him.Â
âBut I made you feel like you couldnât talk to me about it.âÂ
You shake your head. âI made me feel like I couldnât talk to you about it. All you did was change the friendship, Iâm the one who ended it.â
âI still shouldâve been there.âÂ
âYouâre here now, right?âÂ
Sunghoon nods, earnestly. âAlways.âÂ
Only one thing comes to mind when you repeat the word âalwaysâ before taking a sip from your glass, downing its contents. Sunghoon gets up and crosses the room with wobbly steps to open the fridge, where he pulls out as many bottles of soju as he can hold in his hands and puts them down on the table. He goes back to collect some glasses from the cabinet, puts some of the leftover fried rice from dinner into the microwave, and brings it all over when itâs done, with bowls and utensils. You watch him with a fond smile as he opens a bottle and he hopes you think the flush on his cheeks is from all the drinking youâve been doing.Â
âIs it bad that Iâve missed doing this?â Youâre grinning now.
Sunghoon shakes his head, raising his glass. âTo YNâs fifteenth heartbreak.âÂ
You grin, clinking the rim of your glass against his. âTo YNâs fifteenth heartbreak,â you repeat.Â
Both of you down the glasses, and Sunghoon refills them, pouring the soju with an oddly steady hand. As you eat spoonfuls of rice and sip your drinks, silence settles over the room. The soft glow of the kitchen lights forms a warm ambience, a cosy familiarity that brings up simple memoriesâdoing homework together at the table while gossiping about your classmates, the first New Year after you were both eighteen and had your first drink with his parents.Â
For at least an hour, the only sounds are the occasional clinks of forks against bowls, glasses hitting the table, the faint hum of the refrigerator and the steady tick of Yejiâs clock. Sunghoonâs eyes meet yours, and he canât help but notice the slight change in your expression when they do.Â
You clear your throat, running a hand through your hair. âThis is my sixteenth, actually.âÂ
âWhat?âÂ
You take a small sip of soju, staring down at the table. âMy fifteenth heartbreak was losing you. Yeonjun is my sixteenth.â
In the two days since your soju ceremony, Sunghoon finds himself sinking into the role of your boyfriend like a hot bath. But thereâs no use pretending it doesnât hurt. Pretending it doesnât hurt when you kiss his cheek before bed, or when you reach out to push the hair out of his face or snuggle into his side on the couch; because it does hurtâa lot. It hurts to think that in three days when you put your bags in the boot of his car, youâll sit in silence all the way home. When he drops you off at your flat, youâll close the door in his face and stop talking to him again. These realisations are harder to confront when heâs alone in his room, like now.Â
About an hour ago, you asked if you could borrow his car, saying there was something you needed to do on your own. It seemed important, so he handed over his keys with no question. Sighing, Sunghoon gets up from his bed and heads to the shower, where he jerks off to clear his mind. On his way back to his room, he notices the light leaking from the open kitchen door that illuminates the landing.Â
He hears the lock on the front door clicking, and stands at the top of the stairs, dripping water onto the carpet while listening attentively. His ears perk up when he hears a gaspâhis mother.Â
âWhatâs this for?â she asks.Â
âI just..â You trail off. âI know itâs not much, but I wanted to thank you both for always looking after me.â You pause, and Sunghoon holds his breath, waiting. Your voice trembles as you continue. âItâs been hard since my parents went back home, and I guess it was still hard when they were here, but you both supported me. I donât think I couldâve managed without you guys. I want to make you guys proud, you know? And Iâm trying, really, so this is me saying thank you. Iâm sorry it took me so long.âÂ
He grips the railing by the landing, digging his nails into the wood until they start hurtingâan ache in his fingertips that makes him wince.Â
An odd feeling settles in his stomach, a bittersweetness tinged in his fondness for you, and the gentle shock of realising how much his parents have done for you. Growing up, you became an honorary member of Sunghoonâs family. His parents showered you with gifts during holidays and birthdays, which you often celebrated with them rather than your own family.Â
The memory of your parentsâ sudden decision to move across the country still lingers, and Sunghoon vividly recalls the tearful conversation he overheard at the top of the stairs. Your parents understood the enormity of their request but had earnestly asked if Sunghoonâs parents could continue looking after you.Â
His chest tightens when you start crying.Â
âYou donât have to thank us for anything, sweetie. Just you being here and taking care of our boy is more than enough thanks. You never forget our birthdays, and you always come and visit when you can. Youâre doing a great job, and you should give yourself some credit,â his dad says, a little choked up. âWeâve always been proud of you.âÂ
Sunghoonâs eyes sting with tears and his skin gets dry in the spots where the water from the shower is evaporating. He presses his fingers to his closed eyes, forcing a few tears to fall and walks the rest of the way to his room with his eyes shut. He canât hear anything through his closed bedroom door, which he decides is a good thing as he coats himself in moisturiser and swipes deodorant under his arms with intention to spend the whole night alone. Once heâs dressed, he gets into bed and pretends not to be bothered by the way his wet hair dampens his pillow. Under the duvet, he tosses and turns before sighing and heading to Yejiâs room.
In her absence, the roomâs subtle transformation is stark. The sage green-painted walls, once a backdrop to the A3 faces of Wave to Earth and Beabadoobee, now bear the faint imprints of those missing posters. Tiny, shadowy rectangles are the only remnants of the 6x4-sized pictures of her and her friends, of her and Sunghoon, that she took away with her to school.
Her hairdryer is still on her desk where sheâd left it for him to use and he sits in her stiff wooden chair, plugging it in. The airflow starts immediately, hot and loud, humming throughout the space as he runs his fingers through his wet hair, feeling cosy under the heat. His shampoo is fresh and soapy scented under his nose, and his reflection watches him in Yejiâs mirror, eyes red and concerned while his hair blows around his head. Sunghoon closes his eyes and finishes his hair, sighing as he lets his worries slip under the whir of the fan.Â
Finished, he shuts off the dryer and opens his eyes, flinching at your reflection in the doorway behind him with a soft smile on your face. âMum and Dad are going to open a bottle of wine if you want to join,â you say, meeting his eyes in the mirror.Â
Sunghoon canât find it in himself to speak, only nodding in response. You smile wider but donât move. He unplugs the hairdryer and leaves it on the desk where he found it before crossing the room. Without giving himself a chance to think about it, he pulls you into a hug and kisses the top of your head, smiling into your hair when you wrap your arms around his waist, holding him closer.Â
Youâre sitting on the edge of the bathtub, mumbling sleepily that youâre never going to drink again, and Sunghoon leans over the sink brushing his teeth, heâs glad you have the decency to cover your mouth as you speak.Â
âBrush your teeth and go back to sleep then,â he mumbles around his toothbrush.Â
You donât respond.Â
Sunghoon sighs through his nose, spitting foamy toothpaste into the sink, leaving bubbly, blue splatters on the porcelain. âAnd quit staring at me, I can feel your beady little eyes on the back of my neck and itâs freaking me out.âÂ
âBut youâre so pretty,â you coo.Â
Thereâs a flutter in his stomach and he rinses off the sink and his mouth, buying himself some time. With a hand on the Listerine, he lifts his gaze to meet yours in the mirror and stops short. Youâre still staring at him, features soft and glowing under the afternoon light. You look like an angel; a gentle smile spreading over your lips, and a sleepy glint sparkling in your eyes, wide and gorgeous as you watch him. Sunghoon gulps, mumbling his thanks and looking back at himself. He hopes you canât see the flush on his cheeks.Â
âGo back to sleep,â he says.Â
âWill you come and lie down with me if I do?â Your voice is a sleepy drawl, coming out in a slow, high-pitched slur, and your eyes are closing on themselves.Â
Lying down doesnât sound like a terrible idea, especially not if itâs with you, so he nods. âIf you brush your teeth, then yeah, baby, Iâll lie down with you.âÂ
You chuckle softly at Sunghoonâs agreement, the sound carrying a mix of exhaustion and genuine amusement, showing no repulsion to him calling you the B-word. He didnât mean to, itâs been a confusing few days. You nod, saluting to him and getting up to join him by the sink, using your hip to bump him out of the way, but he feels like heâs glued to the spot.Â
âMove, baby,â you mumble sleepily, reaching for your toothbrush. âWe can cuddle in my bed,â you suggest, to which Sunghoon only nods, taking your words as a cue to unstick his feet from the floor and go to your room, playing the word âbabyâ on a loop in his head.Â
He stands in the doorway staring at your bed, the duvet is all crumpled in the middle, and the pillows are in an L shape at the top corner. He sighs, he canât go on like this, canât stand around hoping even a tiny part of you called him âbabyâ and it meant something for you as it did for him. Itâs not fair for him to project his feelings on you like this, but he canât help it. Youâre already pretending for his parents, so would it be so bad to pretend for his sake as well? Even if only until the day after tomorrow when you leave?Â
The sound of the bathroom door shutting behind you snaps him out of his thoughts, your bright smile making his heart race when you tug him by the sleeve to your bed where the mattress dips underneath you as you curl into his form, resting your head on his chest and falling asleep. Youâve shared the bed before, countless times, but he knows youâve only asked him because youâre tired. Because your brain is foggy with drowsiness that clouds your judgement, not because you want him there, not because you miss him when heâs two doors down the hall, tossing and turning at night thinking about you. He wonders absently if you can feel his aching heart beating through his chest, a painful, yet all too familiar rhythm that pulls his own eyes shut, plunging him into a deep sleep too.
Itâs dark in the room when he wakes up, the sun already down behind the curtains and the soft yellow of the bedside lamp casting a glow around the space. Youâre staring up at him, smiling and you donât look away when he catches you. âWhat is it?â he asks, voice thick with sleep.Â
âNothing,â you mumble. âI just missed you.â Sunghoon has no time to respond or even register what you said before you clear your throat, speaking again. âCome on, dadâs cooking tonight, heâll need help.âÂ
Helping Sunghoonâs dad with dinner always looks an awful lot like Sunghoon eating snacks on the kitchen counter and staring at you as you help his dad cook. Tonight is no exception, heâs sitting on the island, and his snack of choice is a family pack of Chilli Heatwave Doritos his mum bought for Yeji. Heâll have to remember to replace them before leaving seeing as heâs reaching the halfway point.Â
You go back and forth with his dad about measurements, with you rummaging through the drawers for measuring cups while his dad says itâs best to trust your gut. Reluctantly, you nod, chewing the inside of your cheek as you watch him eyeball the seasoning.Â
The gas stove turns the kitchen into an oven, and you complain about it while opening a window, pulling your hoodie over your head and leaving it in Sunghoonâs lap. Time stops when you grin at him, the light from the stove hood illuminating the necklace youâre wearing, his initial resting on your chest and glowing under the light. He chokes around a crisp when he sees it, catching your attention with his coughing.Â
âYouâll spoil your dinner, snacking like that, baby,â you scold, using a hand to push his knee. âWeâre almost done, I swear.âÂ
All he can do is nod, cheeks burning as he folds the crisp packet over before putting it back in the bread bin where he found it.Â
âWow,â his dad says, resting his hands on his hips and shaking his head in amusement. âBeing in love looks good on him, heâd never have listened if I said that.âÂ
Itâs already your last day when Sunghoon picks up Yeji from school. She grumbles for the entire half-hour drive and all the way to the front door about why the two of you couldnât have started the trip today instead of ending it, but all of her irritation dissolves when she sees you in the hallway, leaving the front door wide open to fling her arms around you. You and Yeji exchange compliments for a while â You look so pretty. No, you look so pretty. I love your hair. I love your hair. â as Sunghoon locks the door and watches with a smile.
âGod.â Yeji sighs, holding you by the waist and craning her neck up to look at you, as you push some of her hair from her face, pinning back her wispy bangs with the palm of your hand. Yeji giggles. âIâm so happy you two are together, even though I have no idea what a girl like you sees in my loser brother.âÂ
Sunghoon rolls his eyes, leaning back against the wall. Despite his mild irritation at Yejiâs words, he finds the sight of you with her so adorable his stomach flutters. Over the top of Yejiâs head, you look at him with a fond smile. âHeâs not so bad.âÂ
It doesnât sound like a compliment, but Sunghoon takes it to heart.Â
Like always, Yeji manages to capture your undivided attention and the two of you giggle and whisper with each other all afternoon while Sunghoon watches, too enamoured by the sight to care about being left out. An hour or so passes like this, until his parents get home from work, excited to see Yeji after a few weeks, and you leave her side, coming to cuddle with Sunghoon instead.Â
Itâs nice being home with everyone, laughing and sharing a meal before his family walks the two of you to his car with at least a monthâs worth of cooked food for you to share at university. Yeji makes you pinky promise that she can visit you and waves with a pout on her face until the car is out of view.
Contrary to what heâd been expecting, the drive back is nice. Your playlist is on, and youâre telling him about all the new songs you added, catching him up on things with Chaewon and Yunjin, and all the things you got up to in the time you spent apart. You tell him about a new cafĂ© that opened up near your place and how youâll have to go together when he has the time, and Sunghoon bites his tongue before telling you that he always has time for you. The first half of the trip goes on like this but you start dozing off around the halfway mark, your sentences becoming few and far between, eventually turning into half-mumbled thoughts that end prematurely.Â
Youâre still asleep when he reaches your flat, head propped up against the window with your soft lips parted, looking too pretty and cosy to wake up. Instead, he drives in circles around your block, deciding to wait for you to wake up on your own. It only takes a half-hour but you blink your eyes open, stretching your neck before looking around and out the car window, recognising the street. You donât say anything, only smiling when you look at him, a small curve of your lips that makes his heart race.
He gets out of the car with you, opening the boot to get your bag before pulling you into his chest for a hug, liking the way your arms settle around his waist. âThank you,â he mumbles into your hair.Â
Sunghoon doesnât follow you when you take your bag from him, only watching from the back of his car. You donât notice until you reach the main door, looking over your shoulder and frowning at him. âArenât you going to walk me up?âÂ
The two of you walk in silence up four flights of stairs as the lift in your building is out of order. Your bag feels much heavier in his hand now than it did outside. At your door, he watches you dig around for your keys, sighing with relief when you find them.Â
âDo you want to come in?â you ask from your open doorway.
âIâuhâI have training in the morning and Iâm already pretty tired, so..â He trails off.
Unfazed, you nod. âRight, of course. I had fun this week.âÂ
âYeah, me too.âÂ
You smile at him, sweet and sincere. âText me when you get home, yeah?âÂ
Sunghoon nods, saying goodbye. Out of habit, he doesnât leave your doorstep until he hears the lock click shut, and walks back to his car with his head down.Â
True to his word, he sends you a text to let you know he got back to his place safely and you read it immediately but donât reply. Itâs empty in the apartment, Jake is out with his football team and the space is larger than usual in his absence. Far too tired to even consider going out and joining him, Sunghoon goes through his night routine, putting his phone on the charger and stepping into the shower where he spends entirely too long wishing he could live in this week forever as he scrubs his body. With brushed teeth and damp hair, he goes back into his room where his phone lights up with a notification; a text, from you.
YNđ«: iâm glad you got home okay, i just got into bed :) i donât want to make you uncomfortable or overstep or anything and you can say no (obviously).. iâve been missing you so much and didnât know how to reach out or if you wanted me to but i had soooo much fun this week and spending time with you again made me happy, so iâd like it if we could keep hanging out, like before yk? ik itâs a long shot ahahaha but just say youâll think about it?Â
hoonie: Youâre not overstepping at all, Iâve missed you too, so bad. I had soooo much fun this week as well and Iâd like it a lot if we kept hanging out, thank you for agreeing and coming along đ If youâre free after Lit tmrw you could come over? Or we could go out and do something, whatever you prefer
hoonie: I missed you so much..Â
hoonie: đ€
The texts greet you as the first rays of Monday morning light filter into your room, instantly lifting your mood. Your bright smile doesnât escape Chaewonâs notice as you find her in the kitchen, bathed in the soft light seeping through the sheer curtains. The kettle is boiling with a loud rumble that fills the whole room and leaves her yelling as she speaks to you.Â
âGood trip?â she asks, coming over and hugging you. âNever leave me for that long again,â she mumbles into your shirt.Â
âIt was a week, Wonie,â you say, rolling your eyes even though you missed her too.Â
She leans away, looking at you with knitted brows. âIt was nine days.âÂ
âThe longest of my life.âÂ
Chaewon pulls air through her teeth, tilting her head and releasing you. âThat bad, huh?â she asks, walking back to her seat at your tiny square table and shooting you a look that tells you to join her.Â
During your trip, you gave her nightly updates over text, so you know she knows how much you enjoyed yourself, but you elaborate anyway, sitting across from her.Â
âNo, not at all,â you say, shaking your head and trying to fight a smile. âI had fun.â As soon as the words leave your mouth, you have to bite your bottom lip to stop the grin curving them; it doesnât work.Â
Chaewon raises a suggestive brow, crossing her arms over her chest. âHow much fun?âÂ
âYouâre disgusting.âÂ
âI didnât even say anything!â she defends, holding her hands up. âI made an implication. It was only a matter of time, you two have that whole.. lifelong best friends to lifelong lovers thing going on, and itâs hot.âÂ
âShut up.âÂ
âYouâre telling me, you spent nine days playing lovers with Sunghoon and you still donât want him? Youâre a lost cause, people would kill for that chance,â she says, tilting her head. âI think I would kill for that chance.âÂ
âDonât touch him.â
âOh?âÂ
âJesus, Chaewon, itâs not like that. Hoonâs too sensitive for your roster.âÂ
âI never said it was like anything, youâre the one whoâs dangling me over the ledge for saying I want to fuck your hot best friend.âÂ
âSunghoon isnât hot; heâs..â You find yourself at a loss for words, unsure how to continue your lie. Of course, Sunghoon is hot, youâve known since you were seventeen and spent the summer at your grandparentsâ house, only to come back to find your previously scrawny best friend having ditched his LEGOs for dumbbells. You sigh. âJust leave him alone.â
Chaewon grins, eyes sparkling as she leaves the table. âOkay,â she says in a singsong voice, leaving you and the irritation in your stomach alone in the kitchen.
You sigh, pressing your eyes shut and trying to will away your discomfort. Itâs not like Chaewon would actually try anything with Sunghoon. Right? Even if she did, it wouldnât bother you, nor would it be any of your business. Theyâre grownups and reserve the right to explore their options. Still, thereâs a nagging feeling you canât shake, an uninvited guest in the back of your mind.Â
When you check your phone, you realise you have half an hour before you need to head to campus, so you leave to get ready and text Sunghoon back on the way to your room.
you: sounds good, see u later đ€
After showering, you stand in front of your wardrobe, towel hanging from your body as you pick an outfit. For some reason, you feel under pressure, picking a pair of jeans that do the most for your ass and a low-cut top that Sunghoon once â drunkenly â said he loved on you.
You have the residual sting of mouthwash on your tongue, and one foot out the door when your phone vibrates in your hand.Â
hoonie: Do you want to head to class together?Â
you: sure! iâm omw out, where should i get you?Â
hoonie: .. Iâm outside your building :DÂ
Breathing a laugh through your nose, you donât fight the giddy smile on your face as you make your way downstairs to meet Sunghoon. Through the glass in the main door, heâs standing at the edge of the pavement and kicking a stone between his feet. The top of his puffer jacket covers the bottom half of his face, and the draught nips your skin when the door opens. Two girls you vaguely recognise stumble in with smudged makeup and heels in their hands, smiling at you while holding the door to let you out.
âHey!â you call out, jogging over to him.Â
Sunghoon turns around, his head poking out of his jacket to grin at you, holding a travel cup and an abundance of tinfoil in your direction.Â
âI wasnât sure if youâd have eaten anything yet, you donât normally in the morning,â he says, a sheepish smile spreading over his lips when you take it. âMatcha. Ham and cheese toastie.âÂ
âDid you make these?â you ask, inspecting the familiar cup and appreciating the warmth it provides.Â
He hums, nodding his head.
You ignore the heat spreading over your cheeks and thank him with a hug, grinning when he offers to hold your drink while you eat on the walk. The toastie is still hot, the cheese coming close to burning your tongue as you chew, but you appreciate it wholeheartedly, humming contently with each bite. When youâre done, you shove the foil into your pocket, taking your drink from him and smiling around the sweet taste of a matcha latte as he tells you about his schedule for the day.Â
âIâm meeting with Coach after class to talk about my grades, but Iâm all yours after that.âÂ
âTalk about your grades? Whatâs wrong with your grades?âÂ
Sunghoon groans, head falling back and highlighting the bump of his Adamâs apple. âMy grades are.. I failed my coursework this month, so I have resubmissions during finals, and I think heâll bench me if I fail again.âÂ
He sounds like heâs being serious, and if the look on his face is anything to go by, he is. The news creases your brows because for as long as you remember, Sunghoonâs grades were your parentsâ favourite point of comparison.
âReally?â you ask. He nods. âWhatâs up? Is something the matter?âÂ
A humourless laugh slips out of him before he pulls air through his teeth. âYeah, my best friend didnât talk to me for three months.âÂ
âOh..â Guilt stirs your stomach as you look up at him. âIâm sorry.â
âIâm not blaming you, itâs not like I was trying to talk and you ignored me.â He nudges your arm with his elbow, giving you a warm smile. âBut if you feel as guilty about it as you look, you can tutor me for Lit.âÂ
âDeal.âÂ
Sunghoon grins, wrapping his arm over your shoulders and holding you close; the action itself isnât unusual, but the increased heart rate it brings about is. âYouâre too good to me,â he says, holding onto you for the rest of the walk to class.
At his request, you sit with Sunghoon in the back row, watching as the lecture hall gradually fills up in front of you. He seems well-prepared, with his laptop and a small notepad and pen neatly arranged on the desk in front of him.
Throughout the class, your eyes inadvertently track his every move. He diligently types up colour-coded notes, occasionally pausing to write things in his notepad before continuing to type or stopping entirely to listen. Thereâs something melodic about his actions and the way his fingers run over the keyboard.Â
During a five-minute break, you glance at his screen. What you find is more than just lecture content; itâs a document adorned with Sunghoonâs own musings about Hemingwayâs style and carefully analysed quotations that go beyond the class discussion.
âHow are your notes so good?âÂ
âI picked up the book over the summer when you mentioned it,â Sunghoon replies with a shrug, a shy smile playing on his lips as he leans back in his seat. âI liked it.âÂ
A slow nod is your response, though your thoughts swirl like autumn leaves in a breeze. The last time Sunghoon read for leisure, you were in primary school, buddy reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid. But thisâthis is different. You canât help but stare at him, awestruck as you take him in. His eyes are wide, shining amber in the sunlight as he pushes some of his hair from his face, frowning when it falls back where it was.Â
âDonât look at me like that,â he mumbles.Â
Sunghoon takes a new line in his document and points at the screen where you watch the cursor move through the words heâs typing: I wouldâve read and annotated the Bible if you wanted me to..
Thereâs no time to digest what he wrote or the funny feeling in your chest as you reread it before he deletes the whole sentence, pressing his lips together and looking out the window. Speechless, you stare at his side profile, willing your heart rate to slip back to normal. Steep-sloping nose, plump lips flattened into a line, two points of the triangular mole constellation on his face. Analysis worsens your condition, breath hitching in your throat before stopping entirely. Warmth and trepidation blend within you, fuzzy enough at the edges to seem like one thingâa single force that makes your palm itch with desire, desperation, to reach out and run a finger over his features, feel the bump of the mole on his nose â the most prominent â against your skin.Â
You remain this way â silent, watching â even when your lecturer resumes the lesson, and Sunghoon starts typing, writing, and listening again. Polite enough to pretend he doesnât notice your gaze searing into his face.
After class, and his meeting with Coach, you let Sunghoon lead the conversation and the way to your flat, where you find Chaewon and Yunjin sitting on the couch, whispering to themselves while the two of you study at the coffee table. Itâs uncomfortable, an awkward height, too high for the way youâre sitting but you feel calm under the supervision of Chaewon and Yunjinâyou wonât do anything to merit teasing in front of them, no matter how badly you want to feel Sunghoonâs face in your hands or stroke his cheekbones with your thumbs.Â
To the best of your ability, you answer the questions he has for youâheâd written a ton in his tiny notepad during class, his own concerns clear with each neatly-penned iteration of: How to see actions/dialogue for what they are and not what I want them to be? written in the margins and you try not to feel heartbroken for him.
Three hours have passed by when you walk him to the door, the two of you wrapped up in a bubble so secure youâre surprised to find Chaewon and Yunjin still sitting on the couch. They donât say anything about Sunghoon in his absence, or the fact heâd given you his sweater when he noticed you were cold. Youâre not sure why their silence disappoints you.
Instead, Yunjin asks you about trivial things like dinner while Chaewon sits in silence.Â
âWhat flavour for ice cream?â Yunjin asks, rolling her eyes when you tug on the blanket but not complaining. âAnd donât say something ridiculous like mint chocolate, YN.âÂ
âThat happened once! And it was three years ago.. How was I supposed to know you hate fun?âÂ
Chaewon leans into you, letting you curl your limbs around her from behind as you rest your chin on her shoulder, liking the way her clean scent tickles your nose.Â
âMint-cho isnât that bad,â she starts. âItâs a little jarring, sure, but itâs kind of sweet. Like watching people come to terms with their feelings for each other.âÂ
You nod your head, humming in understanding and furrowing your brows when Yunjin scoffs, staring straight at you. Her tone is equal parts cutting and loving, so you know sheâs not trying to insult you, but donât know what she means when she says, âIt must be so nice to be as oblivious as you.âÂ
Yunjin never elaborates, and you never ask, actually feeling the statementâs journey in through one of your ears and out the other when dinner arrives. The three of you share pizza, ice cream, and secrets â the three pillars of 20-something-teenage-girlhood â at the kitchen table, with Chaewon sitting in your lap and picking pepperoni from your slices.Â
Itâs only hours after Yunijnâs gone home, that her words circle back to you, the statement and all of its weight perching on your chest with all the debilitation and persistence of a sleep paralysis demon.
âI think Iâm getting sick,â you say as soon as she opens her door. âItâs been coming on for a while now, at least a week, maybe more.âÂ
Unimpressed and exhausted, Yunjin looks down at you through half-closed eyes. âDo you..â She pinches the bridge of her nose, sighing. âDo you have any idea what time it is right now?âÂ
âYes. Itâs three a.m.âÂ
âExactly. See a doctor if youâre sick, Iâm going back to sleep.â
âThis is an emergenââ Yunjin cuts you off by pinching your lips together. âItâs three in the morning,â she reminds you. âYou canât yell like that in my hallway, come in.âÂ
You nod, crossing the threshold and taking off your shoes next to hers. âSorry,â you whisper when the door is closed.Â
Using her hand, Yunjin lifts your chin, squinting as her eyes adjust to the light when she flips the switch to inspect your face. âYou donât look or sound sick,â she mutters, flicking the light back off and going to her room. âWhat are your symptoms? And why did you come here?âÂ
You donât have an answer for her last question so you ignore it, following her and tripping over a pair of her shoes in the process. âMy cheeks start burning like crazy and my heart races, sometimes it gets hard to breathe.â
âYou seem fine to me.âÂ
A shoulder-slumping sigh slips from your lips. âThatâs the thing. Iâll be fine and then Sunghoon shows up with his pretty smile and perfect hair and I feel like Iâve run a marathon.â You know how it sounds, choosing your wording meticulously to let Yunjin be the one to say the words out loud instead of youâitâll be easier to confront that way.Â
From the doorway, you watch as she arches a brow, her interest piqued. âOh?âÂ
âI know.â You nod, head bobbing rapidly in furious agreement. âItâs only a matter of time before I cough up a lung and die in his bedroom.â
At your words, Yunjin doesn't reply, only lifting her duvet and getting cosy underneath. You feel like youâre glued to the spot, waiting for her to say something, anything, but nothing comes. All she does is pat the empty spot in her bed.Â
âWhat are you smirking for?â you ask, entering the room properly and closing the door.Â
Her response only comes after youâve taken your jacket and hoodie off, sitting next to her under the covers. âItâs nothing,â she says, laughing.Â
âTell me.âÂ
Yunjin sighs, resting a hand gently on your shoulder. You think itâs meant to be comforting but itâs the opposite. âYouâll be fine, I promise. Lovesickness isnât deadly.âÂ
Feeling the weight of her reassurance, you settle down properly and sigh when your head hits the pillow. Lovesickness. Hmm.Â
Closing your eyes, you try to sleep but canât help tossing and turning as Yunjin snores behind you. You pat blindly around the end table for your phone, grabbing it and wincing at the brightness of your screen. Chewing on your lip, you open Google, looking up âlovesicknessâ and frowning immediately at the results. Endless negativity fills the screen, terrifying words like âunrequited loveâ forming a pit in your stomach. Thereâs nothing negative about what you feel for Sunghoon, nothing unrequitedâyou think.Â
It was obvious during the trip, painfully so. In the way heâd tuck your hair behind your ear when his parents werenât there to see, or how he slipped up and called you âbabyâ in the bathroom, blushing when you said it back. You canât fake something like that.. Can you?
Yeonjun did.
Shaking your head, you open Instagram to distract yourself. Jakeâs story comes up first; heâs at a party where Jay is losing a game of beer pong, and at the other end of the table is Sunghoon grinning with a bright red lipstick kiss on his cheek. You lock your phone, using your hands to press on your belly to stop the stirring.Â
Oh, you think. Lovesickness.Â
When you wake up, the first thing you do is check Jakeâs story again. The video is still there and that terrible stir in your stomach churns on, burrowing deeply into a pit of canyon-like proportionâso vast thereâs a safety railing lining its edges.Â
You eat breakfast in silence with Yunjin, zoning out mid-chew to figure out the origin of these feelings and how to handle them. Suddenly, the moment hits you clear as day, vivid like youâre watching it on a screenâit was your third night at his parentsâ house, after your walk.Â
You felt bad about how you acted, and what you said, so went straight up to your room. With nothing but the bedside lamp turned on, it was dimly lit, shadows cast on the walls as you sulked, replaying everything in your head. Guilt wrapped its long arms around your body, making you feel sick as you thought about it all. About the hurt etched over his face with every word you said, and the frown that stuck around for the rest of the walk as his hand clung limply to yours.Â
There was a knock at the door, so gentle you almost missed it, and Sunghoon was standing there when you pulled it open, chewing on his lip with a mug in his hand. Steam skated over the opening, a rich chocolatey smell hitting your nose but the real kicker was the mug itself. In its place on Jake and Sunghoonâs mug tree, it was unassuming, a regular white mug, but upon meeting hot water, the face of young Sunghoon appeared, grinning with his tiny glasses on. It was a gift from one of his old coaches and though he never used it, it was your absolute favourite cup in the world.Â
You felt soft around the edges when you looked up at him, his eyes wide and unsure as you met his gazeâhe brought that mug three hours across the country so you could use it again. The thought shifted your heart into a comfortable position, settling in your chest with overwhelming warmth and an increased rate.Â
âHi,â you said, clearing your throat.Â
âHi,â he repeated, holding the mug out for you to take. âItâs still hot so be careful.âÂ
Nodding, you covered your hands with your sleeves, taking the cup from him and asking if he wanted to come in. Sunghoon nodded, shutting the door behind him and standing by the bed, watching you set the hot chocolate on the bedside table as you sat down. The two of you stayed like that for a while, with him only moving when you patted the spot next to you on the duvet. Your train of thought escaped you as soon as he sat down, the warmth of his familiar fresh, citrusy scent taking over and becoming the only thing you could register. The smell of summers with him, long days at the beach and short nights spent on the couch at random parties, cuddled into his side with his arm over your shoulders. The smell youâd come to associate with comfort and homeâwith Sunghoon.Â
âItâs not fair for me to treat you like shit just because Iâm annoyed, I shouldnât have spoken to you like that earlier. Iâm sorry.âÂ
A crease ran over Sunghoonâs thick brows as they tugged together, he shook his head. âYou donât have to apologise. I roped you into this whole thing and didnât even try to think about how you would feel. Iâm sorry.â His eyes carried a mix of regret and sincerity, mirroring the weight of his words.
âAnyway, I only came to bring you that,â he said, pointing at the cup. âAnd to check up on you, Iâll get out of your hair for tonight.â Sunghoon wiped his palms on his pants before standing up, reaching behind him to pick up the cloth he brought. For a moment, he stood there, staring down at it in his hand while you thought about telling him to stay, telling him that you wanted him in your hairâwhatever that meant. But he spoke before you had the chance. âYou left this, at mine, after.. well, you know. Iâm sure you left it intentionally, I mean it was folded up perfectly on the end of my bed, so I know you did, but it didnât feel right keeping it, you always wore it more than me.âÂ
Sunghoon extended his hand, holding it out to you and you knew exactly what it was as soon as the fabric touched your skin after so long. It was the shirt Jay bought him for Christmas in first yearâthey were roommates still trying to get a feel for each other. For a few weeks, Sunghoon had been pestering you about what he should get for Jay, saying it didnât feel right not to get him anything, and you suggested a targeted t-shirt, one youâd been laughing at all day after seeing an ad for it on your timeline. Sunghoon was sceptical, but bought the red shirt anyway, hoping Jay would find BEING DAD IS AN HONOUR, BEING PAPA IS PRICELESS funny. He did. And Jay bought Sunghoon a targeted shirt too, your favourite. It was black and two sizes too big, with I NEVER DREAMED IâD BE A SEXY FIGURE SKATER BUT HERE I AM KILLING IT written over the chest.Â
âGoodnight, YN,â Sunghoon said, crossing the room to leave but hesitating before closing the door. He poked his head through the opening and sighed. âI really am sorry.â
That night, you fell asleep in the shirt, the thinning, yet cosy, fabric wrapped around you like a hug as your heart started to beat a new rhythm, one that eerily echoed the five-foot-eleven figure skater who you let break it.Â
This morning, Yunjin claps her hands in your face, seeming irritated when you look over at her. âYou have class in an hour, what are you doing?â Before you have the chance to speak, realisation covers her face. âOh, the feelings.âÂ
You nod solemnly, too caught up in the butterflies raiding your stomach to come up with something to say.Â
At lightspeed, you scarf down the rest of your food, apologising for showing up so late as you head out the door. When you get home, you take the fastest shower of your life and feel grateful Chaewon isnât around to tease you about the smile you canât wipe from your face thinking about Sunghoonâyouâll text her later.
You run to campus, feeling the brisk autumn wind beating against your face while the rest of your body overheats under your jacket, hoodie and long sleeve. Despite the discomfort and ache in your lungs, you donât stop until you reach the door of your lecture hall, huffing and puffing into the faces of classmates who donât take any notice. Of course, in a stroke of pure luck, your lecturer is late, and you realise bitterly, that all of your huffing and puffing was in vainâyou would have gotten to class with time to spare even if you walked.
Itâs not a total waste though; you use the time to update Chaewon.Â
you: i have news wonie.. i like sunghoon
wonie: âŠâŠâŠâŠâŠ.. fork in the kitchen yn whatâs the news?Â
wonie: OHHHH news to YOU.. can i call?Â
She calls you immediately. You answer without thinking because your lecturer still hasnât arrived, and thereâs no one sitting close enough to hear or notice you taking a call.Â
âAre you going to tell him?!â Chaewonâs voice is so loud you wince, pulling the phone away from your ear.Â
âI donât know.â You shrug even though she canât see you, still holding the device at a distance just in case. âI donât have any confirmation that he still.. likes me. Itâs been a while, and I was pretty mean that day.Â
Chaewon groans and you can picture her throwing herself onto her bed, exasperated. The rustling that comes through the receiver only frames the image, hanging it up. âDid you have to tell him to get a grip?âÂ
âYou know..â You trail off, chewing on your bottom lip. âIn hindsight, probably not.âÂ
A beat passes, sheâs thinking. âDonât worry,â she says. âIâll help you.âÂ
âI.. have never been so worried in my life.â You sigh, picking at your freshly painted nails. âBut I know youâll do something no matter what I say, so do what you want, Wonie, but please be subtle about it.âÂ
Chaewon squeals down the phone. âI love youuuuu!â And itâs the last thing she says before kissing the mic a few times and hanging up.Â
Slumping in your seat, you donât have any time to stress about Chaewonâs plans because your lecturer walks in, with a travel cup in her hand and a paperback tucked under her arm.Â
She apologises for being late, running a hand through her hair as she announces that youâll be watching a film, an adaptation of a book you read at the start of termâIan McEwanâs Atonement. You spend the first hour of the movie falling in and out of sleep until a text comes through from Sunghoon, and sheer excitement keeps you up.
hoonie: Wanna study together after class?Â
you: of course!!!!!!Â
hoonie: đ€
The rest of the movie goes by in a drag, and you come away from it with a mild irritation towards Saoirse Ronan.
you: class just finished, heading to lib rnÂ
hoonie: Shit, still in the locker room, sorry !!! Omw, can you get a table?Â
you: iâll try..
It takes a while but you find an empty booth on the second floor, and set your bag on the plush green seat to take pictures of your surroundings to send to Sunghoon. You sit on the side facing the stairs so he can see you when he arrives. The thought of seeing him makes your heart race and you try out a few natural-seeming poses for when heâs here, cycling between resting your palm under your chin and sitting with your arms crossed a few times until the top of his head comes into view.Â
Seeing him knocks the wind out of you as he approaches the staircase, taking them two at a time with his damp hair clinging to his forehead and neck. It doesnât help that heâs wearing a tight black vest, and his sweats are hanging low on his hips. A breath you didnât realise you were holding slips out when he lifts his head, spotting you immediately as a grin spreads over his lips and he raises his arm to wave, the veins in his forearm peeking out to say hi too. You canât tell if itâs his lack of winter wardrobe or your newfound appreciation for him thatâs making his biceps look so huge but itâs hard to look away, even when he reaches the table.Â
âAre you hot?â you blurt out.Â
Sunghoon laughs, raising a brow and something about the way heâs looking down at you makes your cheeks burn. âDepends whoâs asking.â He takes his backpack off, leaving it on the table as he sits down, dumping his jacket and hoodie in a pile beside him.
âIâm asking,â you mumble.Â
âThen, yeah, Iâd hope so.âÂ
Is he flirting? It sounds like heâs flirting. Flirt back! âNice arms.âÂ
He looks down at his biceps for a beat before looking at you warily. âAre you flirting with me?â He canât fight the smile twitching at the corners of his lips but he tries his best, pressing them into a straight line.
âA little. They are nice though,â you admit.
Sunghoon grins. âThanks, Iâve had them for a while now.â
You canât come up with anything to say, too distracted by the way his smile reaches his eyes, lighting up his whole face and forcing a flustered heat to spread over your cheeks and neck. Itâs only when you look away from him that you remember what youâre here for. Itâs a study date, not a study dateâthereâs a difference.Â
You hand Sunghoon the material youâd printed for him over the weekend, excerpts from texts youâd studied in class, so he can practise close reading and proper citation. As he makes his way through them, you canât help stealing glances, smiling at the way his tongue sticks out a little while he focuses, or how he twirls his pen in his fingers while heâs thinking. You arenât making the best use of your time together, copying out the slides from class yesterday, but you canât help noticing the way he watches you when he thinks you canât see. The small smile on his face while he does so only flusters you, an odd weakness settling in your knees as your cheeks heat up.Â
After a while, Sunghoon sighs, running a hand through his hair. âCould you stop watching me?â
âIf you noticed me watching, that means youâre watching me.âÂ
He shrugs, chewing on his lip. âWell, yeah. Iâm always watching you,â he says like itâs a given. âBut you donât normally watch back, itâs distracting.âÂ
âYouâre distracting.â
A playful smile curves his lips as he arches a brow, smugness painting his face. âAm I?âÂ
Too scared to verbalise your response, you nod slowly, hoping you donât look as wound up as you feel.Â
Sunghoonâs eyes flick over your face, flashing with something you donât recognise. At least not from him. He sits back in his seat, assessing you and eventually shaking his head.Â
âYou know,â he says, eyes glowing with something you do recognise: cockiness. âIf my sexy arms are getting to you that much, I can always put my hoodie back on. Wouldnât want my little tutor getting distracted, would I?âÂ
Oh.Â
Your stomach turns with want, mind reeling from his tone and the way his gaze lands on your lips. Sighing, you roll your eyes and try to seem unaffected. âSunghoon, I never said your arms were sexy.âÂ
His phone starts to go off, buzzing against the table and he turns it over immediately, screen down on the surface as he shifts his focus back to his work. He chews on his lip while he does, eyes flicking back and forth between his phone and the words on the page. Curious, you lean over the table, elbows propped up as you rest your chin in your hands. He doesnât spare you or his phone, which vibrates another four times, a glance.
âAre you going to get that?âÂ
Sunghoon shakes his head. âItâs nothing.âÂ
You hum, letting just enough curiosity seep into the sound that heâll elaborate without being asked to. It doesnât take long for him to deliver.
âItâs just Chaewon,â he says, running his hand through his hair and lifting his head. Sunghoon smiles. âWeâve been texting a lot these days.âÂ
âCool.â You nod a few times, aiming for nonchalance but hitting bobblehead as you wait for him to continue. He doesnât, only humming in response, nodding too.Â
After a beat, he picks up his phone, angling it just high enough that you canât see the screen. He reads the messages, an exhaled laugh coming from his nose as the tips of his ears reddenâFuck. This is worse than you thought.Â
Chaewonâs commitment to girl code runs deepâsheâs been rebuffing Jake since first year when she overheard a girl sheâd never seen before telling her friends she thought he was cute. So you know without having to read the texts that nothing sheâs saying is even remotely flirty, you can smell the auto-caps and use of the word âbuddyâ from across the table.Â
What you hadnât counted on, however, was the potential for Sunghoonâs feelings to shift. If they really have been texting more, can you rule out the possibility that he might like.. her? Chaewon is a catch, beyond a catch, and youâd already turned Sunghoon down. Brutally. Of course, heâd move on, he has moved on.Â
The rest of the study session is spent manifesting, writing Park Sunghoon over and over in the back of your notebook. You fill three pages while brainstorming ways to snatch a lock of his hair until he suggests that the two of you call it a day. He walks you home, telling you about how Jakeâs been bribing him with food to get a ride to the LEGO store across town for the new Marvel set.Â
âWith or without the meals, I wouldâve taken him, but his ramen is my favourite, so..â Sunghoon says, climbing the last step of your building and holding the door open for you. âHe even brought a slice of tiramisu to the rink for me after practice.âÂ
âYouâre terrible,â you say, frowning up at him as you search for your keys. âDo you want to come in?âÂ
Sunghoon chuckles, shaking his head. âI have a meeting with one of my lecturers soon, Iâd have to leave inââ He pauses, rolling up the sleeve of his jacket to check the time. ââeight minutes.âÂ
âIâm cool with that if you are,â you mumble, suddenly shy.Â
A bright smile spreads over his lips and he nods, following you in.Â
Chilled by the harsh wind, the only thing on your mind is a hot drink as you lead Sunghoon to the kitchen. He shakes his head when you offer him one, sitting on the countertop and exhaling into his palms before rubbing them together. You canât help but frown at the sight, feeling guilty that you canât change the weather to suit him. At your thought process, your brows raise. Wow, you think. Is this who you are?Â
You busy yourself with the selection of hot drinks you and Chaewon have accumulated, eyeing each container from top to bottom. A purple tub of Cadburyâs hot chocolate that youâre sure is on the brink of expiration, coffeeâsachets of the instant stuff youâve grown to like since leaving home, Earl grey from one of many brands, or the fancy silk tea bags Chaewonâs mum brought home from a tripârooibos or plum-apple-cinnamon.Â
Craving something sweet, you settle for hot chocolate, pulling the heavy container from the cupboard next to Sunghoonâs head and setting it beside your cup. Heâs on his phone, scrolling too fast to take in anything heâs seeing and he shakes his head when you ask if he wants something to drink.Â
On the dish rack, Chaewonâs mug catches your eye, so you pick it up to dry it off and put it down next to yours. âIâm going to check if Wonie wants any,â you say, wiping imaginary crumbs from the counter onto the floor.Â
Sunghoon only clears his throat, shaking his head. âSheâs not home, one of her acrylics popped off so sheâs at the shop waiting for a cancellation.âÂ
The information itself isnât jarring but hearing it from Sunghoon is. You put on what you hope is a neutral smile and nod, taking milk from the fridge and assembling your drink on autopilot while thinking of ways to redirect the conversation.Â
âIf you knew youâd have to go back to campus so soon, whyâd you walk me home?â you ask, watching your cup spin in the microwave. âI couldâve walked on my own.âÂ
Sunghoon is already looking at you when you turn your head, his cheeks puffed out with air as he blinks slowly. Because I love you, is what you hope heâll say. You think you need him to say it.Â
âBecause you donât have to do anything on your own when you have me,â he says instead, and itâs infinitely better.Â
The words seep through your every fibre, his intonation and lucid affection making a home for themselves in your heart, spreading warmth from head to toe. Your smile becomes a radiant grin, only brightening when he shakes his head, smiling down at his feet.Â
Sunghoon hugs you in the kitchen when itâs time for him to leave, his arms holding you tight to his chest as he rocks you back and forth. You inhale his scent, all warm citrus under freshly washed cotton and something exclusive to him.
Wiping the smile from your face feels impossible. You donât let go when he does, and a sweet laugh â a giggle, you think â tumbles out of him as he mumbles that he really has to go. Still, you cling onto him, taking clumsy steps backwards, with your arms locked around his waist, to your front door, smiling as you watch him put his shoes on.Â
âYou donât have to walk me downstairs, honestly,â he says, looking down at you in the doorway.
âI want to.âÂ
His lips quirk up at the corners, a full smile breaking through and causing your stomach to flutter with so much force youâre sure itâs visible through your shirt. His eyes fall to your lips, lingering, before he clears his throat, looking away.Â
âIâll text you when I get to the door, promise.âÂ
You lock your pinky with his. âSend a selfie, just so I know itâs you and not someone else using your phone.âÂ
Sunghoonâs head falls back in a laugh. âShould I just call you? That way you can make sure I get back to uni in one piece.âÂ
You nod.
âThat wasnât anything with Chaewon earlier, I just needed advice on some girl stuff..â He trails off, searching your eyes. Itâs obvious that heâs telling the truth, that he wants you to believe him. You do. âI wasnât sure if that was something I could talk about with you.âÂ
Girl stuff. Hmm. You try not to read too much into it and look at the bigger picture insteadâyour best friend is going through something and doesnât feel like he can come to you about it.. You squeeze his pinky reassuringly, a flutter in your stomach when he smiles.Â
âYou can talk to me about anything,â you say, meaning it.Â
Sunghoon presses his lips together, humming and unlinking your fingers. âNext time,â he says after a beat, waving at you.Â
You shut the door, locking it while watching through the peephole, he leaves as soon as the lock clicks shut. In the kitchen, your hot chocolate is cooling down, and your phone rings in your back pocket. Sunghoonâs calling.Â
Hanging out with Sunghoon. Making sure he sticks to the time-blocked schedule you made for him. Quizzing him on biology terms until he gets restless. If the last two weeks were an episode of Family Feud, those would be the top three answers to the question: Name something YN is doing right now.
Thankfully tonight, itâs the first one.Â
Youâve been sitting on the couch for so long, Jake has both left for football practice and arrived from football practice. Conversation ebbs and flowsâan hour or so of nonstop talking, followed by another hour or so of comfortable near silence.Â
Itâs during a quiet hour that Sunghoon sits up straight, clearing his throat before saying, âLet me ask you something. He retreats to the other side of the couch, turning to face you with his whole body. âI donât want things to be weird after I ask, so no matter what your answer is, I wonât bring it up or ask again.â
Arching a curious brow, you nod. âYou can ask me anything,â you say, meaning it.
Sunghoonâs face is impressively blankâminus the motion of sharp teeth worrying plush lip, thereâs absolutely nothing behind his eyes that seem to stare right through you.Â
Eventually, he asks, âCan I kiss you?â He says more. Big, scary words like for closure and moving on, but they donât register. They donât matter.Â
Your heart pounds at the base of your throat as you find interest in your hands that sit in your lap. Even without looking at him, you canât get over the slight crease he had in his brow and the slight tremor in his hands.Â
âFor closure,â you repeat, though your voice doesnât sound like itâs coming from you, muffled under the thump of your heart.Â
Sunghoon nods. âFor closure.âÂ
A humourless laugh sneaks past your throat as you look at him. You shouldnât have. In the lamplight, Sunghoon is golden and glorious. Warm light casts one side of his face, diffusing gently over the steep slope of his nose, highlighting his moles and the look in his eyes, gentle and curious all at once. Unwillingly, your gaze falls to his lips, parted, tempting.Â
One firm nod of your head brings Sunghoonâs hand to your face, his palm cupping your cheek with soft skin as his thumb traces your cheekbone. You grow anxious under his stare, under the drag of his eyes over your features, taking them one at a time like heâs committing them to memory.
Leaning in, your eyes flutter shut as your lips meet his and he freezes, mouth completely still on yours. Delicately, your tongue traces the seam of his lips, soft and plump, until they part for you, moving with yours. Sunghoonâs kiss is unpolished when it reaches you. Itâs hesitant but tender, clumsy but sweet, heâs trying and heâs perfect; your favourite.Â
The kiss is.. itâs everything. Itâs the racing of your heart, the thudding, the vibrant buzz you can hear, feel humming against your ears. Itâs a rush of blood to the head, a lightness all over that pulls you out of your body. Itâs Sunghoonâs soft lips curving into a smile against yours, his gentle hold on your face never letting up as he holds you as close as he can manage, and itâs every bit as lovely as the rest of him.
Palpable is the heartbeat of your friendship, beating to a lull under the surface of the kiss, fizzling out into nothing, a steady silence, flatlining to give way to something more, something bigger.Â
Every brush of your lips against his is a revelation, a confession. Youâre all Iâve ever wanted, you tell him with your kiss. Youâre everything I need. His free hand finds yours, locking your fingers and squeezing, the action timed well enough to make you think he hears you, to make you think heâs saying, weâll be okay, I still love you.Â
With that, he pulls away, a delicate tension piercing the air. Blown eyes and laboured breathingâheâs beautiful, fuzzy around the edges with warm orange and all of the love in your heart. Breathless, you chew on your lip, cognisant of Sunghoonâs hand in yours and the sparkle in his eyes as he looks at you.Â
Belatedly, you squeeze his hand back, smiling. âWas it everything you ever dreamed of?â you whisper, part teasing, all curious.
Abruptly, Sunghoon stands up, letting go of you in the process. âI have to go.âÂ
You want to stop him, you think youâre supposed to. To grab him by the arm and kiss him again, to yell in his face that you love him until he understands. But you donât. Instead, you stay seated, staring at Sunghoonâs back and following him with your eyes out of the room and down the hall until heâs out of sight.Â
Itâs your first time being so upset after a kiss, and you canât tell if itâs his leaving or the mention of him moving on thatâs tripping you up so much. Thatâs causing melancholy to crawl from the shadows, sinking its jagged nails into your skin to pull you under.Â
You love him. Heâs gone.Â
Eyes stuck on the doorway, time stretches over the room around you, thick and malleable, wet and cloyingâclay stuck under your nails for days as the fire in the kiln rages on.Â
Sighing, you get up and wait at his door. You ball your hand into a limp fist, knocking weakly. Sunghoon doesnât reply. You try again, harder. Still nothing.Â
Barging into the room, you find him sitting on the end of his bed with his face in his hands.Â
âDonât move on.â The words come out before you realise and Sunghoon lifts his head, squinting at you.Â
âHuh?â He tilts his head, watching closely as you approach him, tipping it back enough to meet your eyes when you stand over him.Â
You take a breath, holding it until your head starts to spin. âI donât want you to love someone else, Sunghoon. Please donât move on.âÂ
The stillness that follows is disconcerting, a long quiet you can feel on your skin, amplifying the blank stare on his face as he looks up at you. His eyes flash, a spark of hope behind them so bright it stings to look at.
âDo you..â He trails off, his lips moving to form the next word though stopping short.
âI do,â you whisper, nodding. âIâm sorry for taking so long.â
An exhaled laugh comes from his nose as he grins, shaking his head. âYou like me?â he asks, excitement and disbelief fighting for authority over his voice, his hands holding your waist and pulling you down into his lap.
âI love you,â you admit, settling on his thighs.Â
âYou do?â His eyes are wide and gleaming, searching every feature on your face before settling on your own.
You nod. âSo much.âÂ
Sunghoonâs chin tips up, his lips pressing against yours, excited pecks that canât turn into much more for the smiles on your faces. You rest your arms on his shoulders, hands clasping behind his head, nervous fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.Â
âSo.. will you be my boyfriend? For real?âÂ
Tilting his head, he tries and fails to fight a smile. âI will. Iâm a little bummed though.âÂ
âWhy?â You raise a brow, and the word tips up at the end with it.Â
âI wanted to be the one to ask you.â Sunghoonâs honesty warms the room, endearing you completely.Â
You grin, loving the heat spreading over your cheeks. âAsk me anyway.âÂ
âPlease can I be your boyfriend?âÂ
In the weeks that followed, it became immediately clear that boyfriend Sunghoon operated on a pendulum swinging between sexual ferality and terror. Heâd get distracted during study sessions at home, finding more interest in biting at your neck than stream-of-consciousness prose, but closed his eyes if a sex scene came on TV. Heâd buck his hips against yours while making out but flinch at the sight of condoms in the store.
He wasnât ready to have sex and didnât know how to tell you, so you took matters into your own hands, asking if you could wait until after his results for resubmission came in, saying you didnât want the distraction for either of you. Sunghoon agreed, pecking your cheek and holding you tight to his chest.Â
The only thing was that your lecturer hadnât given him an exact date, so every morning, you held your phone in a vice grip waiting for Sunghoon to update you, and every morning, you got the same text: Nothing today, baby âčïžÂ
This morning, youâre brushing your teeth when he texts you, in all caps: NO FUCKING WAY I GOT A 98 !!! LOOK !!!
When the picture comes through, itâs of him in the mirror and you choke on mouthwash at the sight. Heâs smiling, bright and beautiful, in a black vest that heâs holding up a little to show his stomach, though his palm is in the way of his toned abs, and it cuts off right at the top of his grey sweatpants.Â
Your mouth goes dry as you click on it, fixating on every little detail you can find: the thickness of his fingers against his phone, the dip in his collarbones, the breadth of his shoulders and the cinch of his waist. In a fit of desperation, you try swiping at the bottom of your screen, willing the picture to magically extend. It doesnât.Â
hoonie: Finger slipped.. You like?
you: mm..Â
you: 98??? HOLY SHIT, LOOK AT YOU!!!
hoonie: All you.. do you like the picture?
you: i love itâŠâŠâŠâŠ.
hoonie: My girl đ€
Another picture comes in, and sure enough, through the glare of his laptop screen, you see: Course name: The Modernist Movement: Joyce, Woolf, and Hemingway. Marks Awarded: 98.0.
you: well done baby !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hoonie: Thx đ
hoonie: Can I have my prize now ha ha .. haha đ
you: just for that emoji, no you absolutely cannot.
Your resolve isnât strong enough when it comes to Sunghoon, because purple devil emoji and all, you show up at his door with condoms in your bag and a bouquet of lilies behind your back.Â
The door creaks open and Sunghoon greets you with a grin. âHey, gorgeous. You proud of me?âÂ
You beam at him, holding out the flowers. âIâm very proud, Hoon, well done.âÂ
âI donât want to ruin the moment,â he starts, taking the bouquet from your hands and sniffing the flowers with an approving smile. âBut hearing you say youâre proud of me is awakening something I didnât know existed.â
âA good something?âÂ
âMm,â he hums, arms finding your waist before he pecks your lips. âA very good something.âÂ
Sunghoonâs words hit your lips and your core, a desperate heat flooding your stomach as he kisses you deeply, his body pressed tightly against yours while he pulls you into his apartment. He kicks the door shut with his foot, slipping his hand under your jacket to settle in your back pocket, not quite squeezing but holding your ass as gently as he can manage.Â
He breaks away from you, love in his eyes as he stares down into yours, catching his breath. âI donât think we own a vase.âÂ
In his kitchen, you rifle through cupboards to find something to hold the flowers, eventually finding a whiskey decanter in the cupboard under the sink, and holding it up for Sunghoon to see.
âOh, yeah,â he says. âItâs Jayâs. Itâll work right?âÂ
You nod, taking it to the sink to rinse it. Sunghoon wraps his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder watching you fill the decanter with water and flower food before grabbing the bouquet. He presses open-mouthed kisses to your neck and you struggle to stay focused as you cut down the stems on the flowers, arranging them neatly.Â
âCan I take a photo?â he asks when youâre done.Â
Heâs smiling when you turn around to look at him, a soft curve of his lips that makes your heart race, a deep tenderness in his eyes when you meet them. You smile too.Â
âTheyâre yours, baby, do whatever you want.âÂ
âA photo of you with the flowers,â he clarifies.Â
Warmth settles in your chest, a grin spreading over your lips from ear to ear. You nod, taking the decanter in your hands when he lets go of you, holding the flowers up beside your face and smiling for his camera. As his phone shutter clicks away, you steal glances at his face behind it. Heâs watching the screen with a smile, telling you how beautiful you are.
âI want pictures of you too,â you say, handing the flowers over.Â
âIâm yours, baby, do whatever you want.âÂ
Sunghoon poses for your photos, smiling sweetly in some and sniffing the bouquet appreciatively with closed eyes for others. Heâs glowing and heâs beautiful and your heart triples in size while taking picture after picture until your phone tells you it has ten percent.Â
âThank you, YN,â he says. âIâve never gotten flowers before, I love them.â His arms settle around your waist, lips pressing against yours before you have the chance to respond.Â
You try anyway, mumbling against his lips that you love him. In response, Sunghoon grins, but the feeling of his cock growing hard against you is distracting, a lust-coated thorn in the side of the butterflies fluttering in your stomach. With locked lips and uncertain steps, the two of you bump into corners and trip over your own feet, stumbling to his room and parting only to tear his hoodie over his head.
Breathless, you pull away, eyes trailing over him and picking up on everything, from the tremble in his hands to the lust-addled worry in his eyes. Heâs nervous, you thinkâthough it escapes you, the last word coming out like a question.
Sunghoon scoffs, his hands resting on your waist under your shirt, skin clammy against yours. âOf course, Iâm nervous.âÂ
âYou donât have to be.â
âI just want to be good for you.âÂ
âDonât worry about that, let me take care of you, Hoon.â Your palms drag up his torso â firm abs through soft cotton, defined chest over racing heart â to rest on his shoulders. âSit,â you say when he nods.Â
He gulps, taking a seat on the end of his bed under your gentle push, eyes widening when you sink to your knees between his legs and reach for his drawstring, pulling the ends to untie the knot.Â
âWait,â Sunghoon says, breathless, scrunching up his face and dropping his head. âLet me calm down, baby. At this rate, Iâll come just seeing your hand on it.âÂ
You giggle, resting your head on his thigh and wrapping the drawstring around your finger.
âIâm serious, YN,â he mumbles, laughing as he takes his vest off. âI need a minute.âÂ
Sunghoonâs eyes are pressed shut as he tries to collect himself, lips pouty and kiss-bitten, slightly parted with ragged breaths slipping out. You wait patiently for him. Heâs so pretty like this, with the crease in his brow and the pretty pink flush dusting his cheeks as his chest rises and falls. You canât help but smile, leaning into his touch when his hand rests on top of your head, his blunt nails grazing your scalp. After a while, he seems more at ease, his eyes finding yours and he smiles shyly, telling you heâs ready now and lifting his hips from the bed to let you pull his sweats and underwear down.Â
Free from the constraints of fabric, his cock slaps his stomach with a wet sound as the tip meets his skin, leaving a pearlescent streak over his abs. The sight makes your mouth water and you canât look away. âPretty,â you whisper.
Wrapping a hand under his tip, you swipe it with your thumb, taking time to memorise the flutter of his eyelids, the bobbing of his Adamâs apple, and the soft sigh he lets out. You stroke him slowly, liking the way his breath picks up as his brows knit together before you take him in your mouth. Itâs a tight fit but you do your best, spurred on by the way he tugs at your hair and stutters through a holy fuck as you take as much of him as you can.Â
Sunghoon goes silent, only squirming when you use your hand to stroke him near his base. Self-conscious about his lack of vocal affirmation, you look up at him through your lashes, and the pure bliss on his face is unbearably attractive. His eyes are rolled back under furrowed brows, his mouth hanging open as he throws his head back.
âAm I doing okay?â you ask, using the moment to catch your breath.
He nods, inhaling shakily and screwing his eyes shut while his hips buck up into your fist. âIâm.. Youâre doing such a good job, baby, so good.â
Satisfaction courses through you from the praise, a high that dulls the ache in your jaw. Still watching him, you massage his balls in your palm, pressing open-mouthed kisses to his tip when he whines. You tongue at his slit until he thrusts back into your mouth, tip hitting your throat, and he gasps when you gag, his arm coming up to cover his eyes. A belated apology slips from his lips, mumbled as he strokes your hair with a shaking hand and goes quiet again. When you speed up, his breath stutters, the muscles in his thighs contracting around your head as you suck and lick and drool on his cock.Â
A moan of your name, and his hand holding your hand down, are the only warnings you get before Sunghoon comes, spilling his load right down your throat. Whining, his hips buck up against your face, pushing further and further until he falls back onto the mattress.
Your throat is hoarse and aches while you use the back of your hand to wipe at your lips, enjoying whatâs left of his taste on your tongue. Deep red tints his neck and chest, a pretty flush gleaming under the sheen of sweat on his skin. Heâs mesmerising, as he tries for air through swollen lips and looks up at you through squinted eyes. He reaches for you, cute grabby hands tugging your shirt and pulling you down so youâre lying next to him with your head on his chest.Â
âYouâre amazing, baby, so good for me,â Sunghoon whispers, eyes fluttering shut as you drag your nails over his torso, feeling the subtle heave of the slick, sculpted muscle over his stomach and chest.Â
Pride heats your chest, satisfaction rolling over you like a wave. âReally?â
He hums in affirmation, nodding his head.Â
âYou were so quiet, I couldnât really tell,â you add, hungry for more praise.Â
âThe walls are so thin in here, I just got used to being quiet,â Sunghoon says, frowning. Hand meeting your chin, he tips your head up towards him, pressing a soft kiss to your lips and mumbling, âIâm sorry. You were perfect, I swear.âÂ
Itâs a sweet kiss. Until lips move harder and hands get lower, desperate as he thumbs the top of your leggings, palm unmoving but a dangerous heat blooms in your stomach anyway.
âCan I..â Sunghoon pinches you softly through the material, unsure eyes boring deep into yours.Â
You nod. âYou can.âÂ
Slipping under your waistband, his fingers skate across your skin dipping between your thighs. He grazes your slit, satisfaction clear in the groan he lets out as he feels the wetness there, pulling it over the length of your slit to cover your clit. Your breath hitches, a strangled gasp, pleasure and surprise meeting in your throat under the pressure of his thumb on your clit, the gentle sting of his finger pushing into you.Â
What Sunghoon lacks in experience, he makes up for with the sheer length and thickness of his fingers. Itâs almost jarring, itâs enough to force your eyes closed and bring a sigh rumbling out of you, ache and relief settling between your legs, where he curls a finger against your walls and drags slow circles over your clit.Â
âCan you take these off, baby?â he asks, hand away to touch your leggings.Â
You donât waste a second, sitting up to pull them off, throwing them and your underwear across the room. Sunghoon licks his lips, tugging at the hem of your shirt.Â
âAnd this? If you want..âÂ
You nod, pulling it off immediately to let it join the rest of your clothes in a heap on the floor. The way he gulps is a confidence boost, his dilated pupils taking in every inch of your body, though his gaze always pulls back to your braâwhite and lacy, thin enough for your nipples to push through the fabric and Sunghoon canât seem to get enough, though he waits until youâre lying down again to touch you.Â
Sunghoon props himself up on his elbow, leaning over you. âYouâre beautiful,â he whispers, dragging a finger over the lace at the top of your bra, toying with the material and the little bow sitting between your breasts. His eyes flick up to meet yours. âSo beautiful,â he repeats.Â
Hiding your face in his chest, you mumble, âThank you,â into his skin while trying to ignore the heat spreading over your body wherever he touches you. His hand trails from your arm to your waist, resting on your hips to slip over your ass for a beat, where he grabs and squeezes the flesh there before coming back around to slot between your legsâyou lift one of them, resting it over his body, and heâs smiling sweetly when you look up at him.
Sunghoonâs movements are unchanging, though the sensation is heightened by the unbridled desire in his lidded eyes that urges white heat to lick over every inch of your skinâthis time he pushes two fingers into you.
It doesnât get better than this, you think. But it does, quickly.Â
Leaning over you, his eyes flick across your face, one feature at a time as he chews on his lip. Reaching up, you push some of his hair from his face, holding it back and saying, âRelax, baby.âÂ
âDonât want to hurt you.â
Moving your hand, you blink when his hair flops back over his forehead, tickling your eyelashes. His eyes are focused now, staring straight down into yours, want and worry flashing behind them.Â
âYou wonât, I promise,â you say, locking your pinky with his, feeling relieved when he smiles.
Sunghoon pushes in slowly, his name slipping from your lips when he exhales shakily, head falling forward. The sting, the pleasure, make it hard to breathe, molten desire taking hold of your lungs as he carves out a place for himself as far as youâll take him, all the way to the hilt as slow as he can manage.Â
A moan tears out of him, lewd and whiny as his hair tickles your collarbone, head falling into the crook of your neck. His skin is hot and damp against yours, his breath burning your shoulder as he tries to calm down. Itâs difficult to register much else, tethered only by the sound of his voice when he asks, âAm I hurting you?âÂ
âHoon,â you whisper.Â
âCan you look at me, baby?â He lifts his head, resting a hand on your cheek. You blink your eyes open, gaze locking with his, where concern pushes through his desire. âAm I hurting you?â he asks again. âAre you okay?âÂ
You nod. âIâm okay, just..â You sigh. âFull. Need a minute.âÂ
Sunghoon kisses you, lips moving gently with yours, passing breathy whines between your mouths until you feel yourself relaxing. Pulling his plush bottom lip between yours, you suck on it, nodding. âWant you to move, baby,â you mumble.Â
He scans your face, eyes meeting yours as he pulls his hips back. Heâs slow, so slow with his thrusts that your belly turns with want, your fingernails sink into the taut skin of his back, and jagged sobs fall out of you with each drag of his cock along your walls.Â
Everywhere his skin touches yours is set ablaze with scorching heat, goosebumps pushing past the surface as his breath fans your neck and his sharp teeth graze your skin. He bites hard enough to sting, and you wince as his tongue flicks over your bitten flesh to soothe you.
You were so worked up earlier, writhing against the sheets and coming undone in his palm, so bliss quickly pushes through the ache between your legs. âGood, Hoon, feels so good,â you manage, struggling to convey how perfect it is.
âJust want to make you feel good.â His words melt into each other, vowels soft and elongated as they curl around each other. Heâs working up a steady rhythm, his tip consistently nudging you where you need itâthe spot that makes the room blur around you. âThatâs all I want.âÂ
Before long, the knot in your stomach pulls you up from the mattress, arching your back towards the ceiling. Mouth to mouth, chest to chestâitâs the closest youâve ever felt to someone else, the closest youâve ever been. The thought alone knocks the wind out of you, and his persistent whining does nothing to help.
Your want and adoration for Sunghoon run bone-deep, inching up your spine and creeping over your shoulders, intertwined with an all-consuming pleasure that turns the heat in your stomach molten as a shudder zips through you. Even though you canât find the words to let him know, he lifts your hips from the bed to fuck you deeper, harder, into the mattress until shaky orgasms pull both of you under.Â
You let him fall into you, fingers curling around his hair, whispering I love you into the skin of his neck as he comes, most of his weight on top of you while you catch your breath, relishing in the fullness you feel as the last waves of your high pull back. You stay like this for as long as he needs, his head coming up from the crook of your neck to smile at you before pressing his lips to yours. A sleepy haze fills the room around you, tongue swiping tongue as you giggle happily into his mouth.Â
After a while, he gets up, tying the condom to throw it away and comes back with his shirt. He uses it to clean upâgentle between your legs, pressing kisses to your calves while he does. Sunghoonâs tenderness wraps around your heart, and love clouds your vision, forming a blurry trail that follows all of his movements, glowing like something from a dream, ethereal, an apparition.Â
The bed dips beside you, his arms around you, pulling you in so his chin rests on your head. You push your cheek into his chest, hoping the two of you will meld into oneâthe thought makes you warm all over, a fuzziness that reaches every part of your body while he presses kisses into your hair, rubbing your back.Â
âI love you,â he says, voice as soft as the rest of him. âIâm glad I exist.â
mama park: Hi lovely đ missing you lots, wondering when youâll be home for XmasâŠâŠâŠ..love ma
Sunghoon stirs, nose scrunching as he snores softly into the quiet of a winter morning. His chest rises and falls steadily under your head and he doesnât move when you sit up. The lamp on his desk is still on â neither of you could be bothered getting up to turn it off last night â and under its dim glow, you admire him. Perfect lips gently curvedâlong lashes kissing the skin under his eyes.Â
Love hits you from all angles, warmth all over from head to toe despite the chill in Sunghoonâs room. You canât help but grin, leaning up to nose along the underside of his chin, his natural scent so soft yet dizzying as you nuzzle into him. He stirs again, turning his head this way and that before resting, you feel a bit bad, deciding to leave him be and text his mum back.Â
you: hi mum !!! missing you sooooooo much :((( will be home asap
mama park: BTW Sunghoon told me everything. I raised such good actors LOL make sure he looks after you and keeps you happy!
you: iâm so sorry we lied to you..
you: but iâm really happy with him and he loves me a lot
you: i love him so much .. never been so sure of anyone in my life
© zreamy (2023), all rights reserved. do not repost, translate, or plagiarise my work. do let my know your thoughts !
permanent taglist: @asahicore
#sunghoon smut#enhypen smut#enha smut#enhypen scenarios#sunghoon scenarios#sunghoon x reader#park sunghoon smut#park sunghoon x reader#enhypen imagines#enhypen oneshots#sunghoon oneshots#sunghoon imagines#enhypen hard hours#fic.sunghoon
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HOW YOU GET THE GIRL â
FC43
PAIRING ⊠franco colapinto x fem!sargeant!reader
SUMMARY ⊠with your brother's seat being taken by your admirer of the past year, you try your best to stay clear, but it's hard when franco is trying so goddamn hard to get your attention [ SMAU ]
WARNINGS ⊠cursing, very minor hate comments
REQUESTED ⊠here!
NOTES ⊠i am NOT fluent in italian or spanish so please correct me if i've messed up on either of them! i count this as the best of both worlds because i love having franco on the grid but i'm missing my goat logan. the faceclaim i've used is marissa long but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are open so feel free to leave a request :)
ââââââââââââââââââââââ
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tagged logansargeant
yourusername logie, my bestest friend and the best older brother i could ever ask for. i am so so SO proud of you and the journey you have had during your formula one seasons. so many memories have been made, and i know that i will never ever forget the times we spent in the williams paddock, just having fun together (& bullying alex, obviously). the williams social media page won't be the same without me posting slips of you. trust me when i say this isn't the end, but simply the beginning. lots of love always and forever, y/n đ
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logansargeant â€ïž
liked by logansargeant, francolapinto, and 94,522 others
yourusername someone hit me up with an italian man please, i love this country
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user4 oh she's taking it
user5 mother as perrrr
user6 the sargeant genetics are LETHALLL
user7 please someone tell me why is she in italy if her brother doesn't drive for williams anymore?
user8 she's the williams social media manager!! she started in the same year as logan x
logansargeant baby sis â€ïž
yourusername love you sm đ
francolapinto did you know i'm actually half italian?
francolapinto sei molto bellađđ (you are very pretty)
user9 second year running and he's after y/n AGAIN IM CRYING
user10 after taking her brother's seat too PLEASEEE he has guts i have to give it to him
user11 FRANCO'S COMMENT I'M DYINGGGG
user12 and the way she's ignoring it too oh my days đ it's been a year and he's still on this
imessages ( y/n )
liked by logansargeant, francolapinto, and 92,801 others
yourusername week off đ
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user16 farm girl???
user17 where is she đđ
yourusername my best friend's farm đ
user18 multi-talented girl fr
user19 she looks like she BELONGS fr
user20 she def doesn't want to go back to the old 9-5
yourusername oh def not
yourbsf my angel đȘœđ€
yourusername best time w you alwaysss đ
francolapinto never wanted to be a goat so badly
user21 I AM PISSING MYSELF
user22 HE IS SO BLATANT AT THIS POINTTTT
user23 @/yourusername PLEASE WE NEED YOUR THOUGHTS ON FRANCO'S COMMENTS
user24 she def won't answer but it's still so fucking funny i can't
liked by logansargeant, francolapinto, and 97,210 others
yourusername most beautiful place đ
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user28 beautyyyy
user29 please y/n we need to see your pinterest RIGHT NOW the vibes are everything
user30 okay but...you & franco??
user31 what about letting people have some privacy, hm?
user32 oh wowwww
francolapinto not as beautiful as you đâ€ïž
yourusername đ€Łđ€Ł
user33 FRANCO YOU DID IT!!!
user34 watch as franco puts y/n noticed x1 in his bio now
user35 THE WAY HE ACTUALLY DID IT. GIRL...
user34 I AM CREASING I CANNOT
lilymhe baby girl đ
yourusername my lilypad i love you to bits!!
logansargeant are you sure you and that lion aren't twins
yourusername i'm thinking we were separated at birth??
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tagged francolapinto
williamsracing and just like that, mr colapinto is a point scorer in formula one, in his second ever race!! congratulations franco, take a bow đđ
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user38 CONGRATULATIONS FRANCOOO!!
user39 big question is...which admin posted this?
user40 one MILLION percent y/n. no doubt about it.
user41 you can tell y/n posted this bc of her signature pink heart HAHA
user42 i just know somewhere franco is kicking his feet and giggling over y/n telling him to take a bow for his performance
user43 oh franco colapinto you have won me over
user44 seeing this and lowkey feeling so sad for logan
user45 no but imagine how y/n must feel?? her brother just leaving and having to post this, she must hate franco right about now
user46 honestly, judging by the post race interview, i think y/n is fine with franco scoring points, tbh!
yourusername đđđ
francolapinto hearts â€ïž
user47 I AM SOBBING THIS IS TOO CUTE??
imessages ( franco )
imessages ( y/n )
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yourusername đŠąđŠą
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user48 IS MISS Y/N OUT ON A DATE???
user49 facecard could kill.
user50 Y/N ON A DATE WHO CHEERED
user51 someone check up on franco like right now.
user52 either franco is the guy in the pictures and that's why he's not commenting, or he's entered a depressive state
user53 knowing his dramatic ass it could be either
alex_albon mystery man đđ€
yourusername shhhh albon
logansargeant i'll fight him if he hurts you đ
yourusername love you too logie đ§ž
imessages ( y/n )
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yourusername city break đŠđ·
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user54 FRANCO CAMEO FRANCO CAMEO THIS IS NOTTTT A DRILL
user55 I AM SCREAMING
user56 alexa play how you get the girl by taylor swift
user57 she's in his hometown...so this serious stuff now
user58 Y/N I LOVE YOU FOR THIS
francolapinto đâ€ïžâ€ïž
yourusername đđ
logansargeant willing to fly out to collect you if i have to đ«Ą
yourusername i promise you i'm fine đ
liked by alex_albon, yourusername, and 1,112,091 others
tagged yourusername
francolapinto 1 AĂO DESPUĂS⊠¥¥TENGO A LA CHICA!! ÂĄÂĄVAMOS!! la persona mĂĄs hermosa por dentro y por fuera, con el corazĂłn mĂĄs grande que jamĂĄs haya existido. estoy tan feliz en este momento que las palabras no pueden explicarlo. te amo te amo te amo â€ïž (1 YEAR LATER⊠I GOT THE GIRL!! COME ON!! the most beautiful person inside and out, with the biggest heart that ever lived. i am so happy right now that words cannot explain it. i love you i love you i love you â€ïž)
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user59 original y/n franco fans RISE
user60 WE ARE THE REAL WINNERS!!
user61 oh he is in love for real
user62 need someone to love me how he loves y/n
user63 their love is so so special
user64 okay but how's logan feeling about all this...? must be so awkward...
user65 judging by his comment...i think he's doing absolutely fine đ€Ł
logansargeant hurt her and i'm at your doorstep. đ
francolapinto will never be a problem đ«Ą
yourusername you're the cutest ever
yourusername FRANCO đ€Łđ€Ł
francolapinto let me share my love for you, no?
yourusername i wanna kiss you so bad rn
logansargeant keep it pg-13 please.
yourusername logan.
ââââââââââââââââââââââ
TAGS ⊠@shepgurl ; @blushmimi ; @nyxx-knight ; @fall-bambi ; @suns3treading ; @wowzees ; @d3kstar ; @poppysrin ; @ailooosworld ; @joalslibrary ; @dejavuontrack ; @dripostsstuff ; @kaylassturniolo
#f1#f1 x reader#f1 smau#formula one x reader#formula 1#f1 imagine#f1 x you#f1 imagines#requests#franco colapinto x reader#franco colapinto#franco colapinto x you#williams racing#mclqren
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ËâșïœĄËâËone of the girls | DR3 ËâșïœĄËâË
pairing: daniel ricciardo x northern english!reader y/n (she/her)
genre: social media au
warnings: none just fluff, pretty short too
summary: in which your new boyfriend is adopted into your friendship group as if he was one of the girls
a/n: this is saur funnie to me & lbr it's me & my bffs only wish in life to go for pints with daniel & this request inspired me af
request!!!: hiiiii can i pls req daniel ricciardo x northern english!reader pleaseeeee kiss kiss kiss
my masterlist
fc: various brunette girls from pinterest
messages ->
instagram ->
yourusername posted a story
liked by danielricciardo, yourbff, and others
yourbff pints
friend1 pints
friend2 pints
danielricciardo pints?
yourusername YES PINTS
user1 PINTS!!!
user2 lol i love u y/n
user3 pints pints pints
yourusername
liked by danielricciardo, yourbff, and others
yourusername self explanatory really
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user4 funniest wag tbh
user5 i wish i could go on a night out with them omg
user6 same omg my dream
maxverstappen1 i wasnt invited?
yourusername are you one of the girls, max?
maxverstappen1 im a man?
yourusername see there's ur first problem
user7 LOL he absolutely has no idea what she's on about whatsoever
user8 daniel dating a british girl is my fav thing ever
user9 literally especially a northern girl and not jus a rich girl from london đđ
user10 fr im obsessed with her she dgaf
user11 she is so jarring
user12 u jus dont get her tbh
danielricciardo woo hoo
yourusername lol i am obsessed with you.
user13 HAHAHA what? she's so me
yourbff BEER CIRCLE BEER CIRCLE
friend2 it's a heart â€ïž!
danielricciardo beer heart. where have you been y/bff/n
yourbff sorry i was busy drinking the beer not analysing what shape it was in.
twitter ->
instagram ->
yourbff
liked by yourusername, friend1, and others
yourbff beach day with the girls!!! and daniel
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user21 and daniel omg HAHA
user22 he's actually one of the girls omg i thought it was a joke...
landonorris my invite got lost?
yourusername YOU DONT DESERVE ONE
landonorris oh.
yourbff hahahahaha
danielricciardo sorry lando đ€
user23 y/n & her one sided beef w lando is all of us
liked by yourbff
user24 oh to be in this friend group
user25 not the weirdest f1 related friend group
yourusername love my girls!!! and my daniel
liked by yourbff, danielricciardo
friend2 hahahah we love him too! thts our girl
friend1 FR!!!!! one of us one of us
danielricciardo omg i've never felt so welcome in my life... #newhome
yourbff honorary brit đŹđ§
yourusername đ„čđ„čđ„č
messages ->
instagram ->
danielricciardo posted a story
liked by maxverstappen1, yourbff, and others
user26 the giiiirls
user27 you & the girls again!
maxverstappen1 miss you babe
danielricciardo đ see you in aus soon i hope
landonorris are any of them single đ
danielricciardo not for you, no
landonorris boo đ
user28 such a cute lil family
user29 cant tell if im more jealous of daniel, y/n, or her friends
yourusername posted a story
liked by danielricciardo, landonorris, and others
user30 stop it
user31 #1 wag forever and ever
user32 THIS IS TOO CUTE FOR A RANDOM THURSDAY MORNING
maxverstappen1 đđđ
liked by yourusername
user33 FREE USSS
user34 jealous
yourbff pints pints pints tonight?
yourusername obviously
twitter ->
instagram ->
danielricciardo
liked by yourusername, lewishamilton, and others
danielricciardo my home đŠđș away from home đŹđ§
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user40 no beers in the photo dump đź
user41 let me guess ur on photographer duty
liked by danielricciardo
user42 the third pic ahhhh so cute
user43 oh to be âš them âš
friend2 our fav aussie always!!!
danielricciardo im honoured truly
friend1 we never wanna leave
yourbff let's all live here woohoo
danielricciardo true. im down
yourusername YIPPPEEE
user44 ugh me when
landonorris i can make the next trip :)
danielricciardo oh where you going?
yourusername & who with? coz i know it isnt us
landonorris ...worth a try i guess
yourusername I LOVE YOU!!!
danielricciardo i love you my sweet girl
THE END đ
#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 smau#f1 fic#f1 x reader#smau#f1 imagine#daniel ricciardo#dr3#dr3 smau#dr3 x yn#dr3 fluff#dr3 x reader#dr3 imagine#maddie's smau
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Eeeeek, I'm bursting with excitement! I wanna know so badly what happens next. I've been hurrying to get the kid to bed to read this đđ
You follow his lead with your own rifle, falling into step with him through the forest clearing. Itâs a beautiful day in late November. Already you can see the edge of frost on the shrubs and half-barren trees. The ground is littered with dead leaves painted in browns, oranges, and dappled with reds.
I love this description btw Really painted a picture in my head đđ
You snort. âRight. Think Iâll just leave you for the bearsâŠâ
Ouch. That line probably haunted her afterward đđ (but I loved their banter! You can totally see they have a close and loving relationship đ) And her dad's optimism and "fate" was so adorable âșïž
You donât see the elk, and soon enough, you donât see your dad either. You do hear a whistling on the wind, and the cold of it cuts right through your coat.
Goosebumps... đ
Dean continues to listen intently with his brows furrowed.
Ah, our boy entered work mode đ€
Dean has packed up his supplies and put on his winter gear. You watch him from the living room sofa, trying to hide your unease. You know heâs doing this for you, but thereâs part of you that doesnât want to see him leave, for his own sake, and selfishly for yours.
Oh God đ No, I can't watch him leave alone. At least get Sam!!! Oh God, no, no, no, no... đ«Ł
I also realized in that moment why my readers are usually "from the same foxhole" because this is exactly what I can't do. Freaks me the fuck out and gives me so much anxiety. Like, I have to be there đ I don't know how you do it. Bravo, friend đ
đ
âYou shouldnât be going out there alone,â you say.
Nooo, but you shouldn't follow him either... With the broken ankle đ
âIf Iâm not back inside a week, you need to ration out the supplies here as best you can. That new meat in the fridge should last you a while.â
A week?!?!?! *gasps*
By new meat, you have to assume he means the bear.
Ooooh, btw, super interesting what you said about the bear meat! I figured something like this. They did wear bear fur, right? And I know people back then never wasted anything, so makes sense they'd eat the meat, too đ
Right now, you donât really give a shit about what heâd rather, but you donât say so.
I cackled đ Love her feistiness!
After the first three days, youâve managed to clean the entire cabin, top to bottom.
Oh God! I'd die worrying... đđ€Ł
On Day Four, you create a nest of pillows and blankets in the middle of the living room floor.
Aww đđ Poor thing... đą (Loved how she explained not taking his room. While invasive, I think if Dean came back to this in his room, he would've melted đ« đ«¶)
Then, you hear the sound of a lock turning, before the front door shoves open.
THANK FUCKING GOD!!!!!
âIâm sorry, sweetheart,â he murmurs into your hair. âBelieve me, I am.â
I knew it was a long shot, especially when her father wasn't with Dean, but still breaks my heart for her đđą
He brushes your cheek with his thumb, collecting your tears there. You glance down at his plush lips again, your own parting with a breath. His hand moves to cup your cheek, framing the side of your face. Please⊠He finally drags you to him in a kiss.
The anxiety is long forgotten. All is forgiven... *sighs dreamily* đđ
âSorryâŠwe canât do this,â he says, with difficulty. He sits upright and nearly makes you fall over in the process.
Oh no, you come back here, young man!!!
It wouldn't be Dean, though, without the "you can't date me, I'm dangerous and not good enough" freak out đ
âI donât even own this place. Besides my car, I ainât got much of anything to give.â
Legit crying right now đđđ This is exactly why we always want what's best for him in fanfics. He deserves it so much đ„ș
Or at least, itâs heat of a different kind, as his strong hands once again find your waist. They hold you still, but also hold you to him.
Love that little detail. Makes such a huge difference â€ïž
Oooooh, I so can't wait to read the finale now! This is absolutely amazing, Alex! It's got the right amount of angst and heartbreak, only to haul me back into this sweet cabin romanticism đđ€đ€đ€
Against the Wind - Part 3
Pairing:Â Alpha!Dean Winchester x F. Omega!ReaderÂ
Summary: You wake up in a strange alphaâs cabin in the middle of a snowstorm, all with a busted ankle. He holds shadows in his eyes, even though his hands are gentle. There are iron shutters around his heart, even though he saved you. You might just save him in return.
AN: Merry Christmas! I'm dropping this chapter a day early for you guys. Now, here's the full story, and what Dean is going to do about itâŠ
Jacklesverse Bingo24 Prompt: True Mates @jacklesversebingo
Song Inspo:Â âAgainst the Windâ by Bob Seger
Word Count: 3.8K
Tags/Warnings: 18+ only. Angst, mentions of blood, hint of spice.~
Series Masterlist || Bingo Masterlist
Part 3: Nothing Left to Burn
âWe should start heading back,â you say, looking up at the mid-afternoon sky. It was starting to dip toward the top of the trees in the distance. âItâs going to take a couple of hours to get back before nightfall.â
âYep, itâs about that time.â Your dad groans as he starts to haul himself back to his feet, where you two had been taking a rest against a tree. âJesus, I need a new pair of knees. Help your old man, would ya?â
You smirk as you help the middle-aged alpha to his feet. His joints pop and his back cracks as he stretches his arms high.
âDamn, Dad. Youâre creakier than the trees,â you quip.
He tosses you a wry look. âJust you wait. In a few years, after wrangling a couple of pups, youâre gonna feel my pain.â
âA few years?â you laugh. âDid I miss the part where I actually met a decent guy, let alone one worth mating?â
âOh, youâll find him,â your dad nods, slinging his rifle back over his shoulder. âOr heâll find you, like your mother did with me.â
You follow his lead with your own rifle, falling into step with him through the forest clearing. Itâs a beautiful day in late November. Already you can see the edge of frost on the shrubs and half-barren trees. The ground is littered with dead leaves painted in browns, oranges, and dappled with reds.
âYou met her in college. Itâs not like you guys defied fate,â you say.
âYeah, but if she hadnât walked into my psychology class by mistake, and stolen my latte at the campus cafĂ©, maybe you wouldnât be here,â he teases.Â
You huff and roll your eyes. Yes, your parents are a walking clichĂ©. And by far, your dadâs the bigger sap.
âIâm telling you. Sometimes, the universe does us a solid,â he says, reinforcing his point with a literal pointed finger your way. You push it away from your face in exasperation.
âYou might wanna watch where youâre going,â you say, âbefore you roll your ankle on another pebble.â
âYou kidding me?â he exclaims. âThat thing was the size of my fist! Youâre lucky I didnât break an ankle. Make you carry me all the way back to the car.â
You snort. âRight. Think Iâll just leave you for the bearsâŠâ
You trail off when a sound reaches you and your father. The sound of leaves crunching in the underbrush, quick and light. Your fatherâs shoulders straighten with alertness, the alphaâs head cocking toward the sound.
âMaybe I spoke too soon about the bears,â you whisper. He shakes his head.
âNah, too light. Itâs probably an elk.â He tosses you a smile. âWeâll have one hell of a haul to bring home, plus a good story to tell your mom.â
Your mother, the vegan veterinarian?
âYeah, because she loves elk meat.â
âWould you quit being a smartass for two minutes? You go a little west. Iâll see where itâs at,â he says.
He quietly wracks his rifle and steps away from the clearing, farther into the woods. You do what he says, veering west. You donât see the elk, and soon enough, you donât see your dad either. You do hear a whistling on the wind, and the cold of it cuts right through your coat.
Unease prickles down your spine, though you donât know why.
âDad?â you whisper-yell, trying not to spook whatever animal might be out there.
A gunshot rings out, along with your dadâs voice in a shout. Your eyes widen in alarm, and you call his name, taking off in a run to find him.
You end up rising over a hill you hadnât crossed before, but you see your dad below; you recognize his bright blue puffer jacket that Mom got him for his birthday. You call his name, and he looks up at you with fear in his eyes.
Not for himself, but for you.
âGo, get out of here!â he shouts and waves you off.
âWhat? What is it?!â you yell.
He shakes his head, like heâs unable to answer your question. âRun! Run and donât stop!â
He moves further into the denser trees until you can no longer make him out. With a frustrated huff, you sprint down the hill and try to follow his tracks with your gun at the ready. On the wind, in the distance, you still hear his voice.
Until it cuts off abruptly, along with the terrible cracking of bone.
You gasp and halt in your steps. What the fuck was that?
Tears fill your eyes and blur your vision. Despite what you heard, you realize just how very alone you are in the clearing. Fear and adrenaline make your breath tremulous and shallow, but you canât just give up. You search for a while longer, making yourself hoarse calling out to your father.
No matter what direction you take, you never find him.
âI ran back to town to get the rangers,â you say, brushing a couple of stray tears from your cheeks. You sniff, licking your lips and swallowing a hard lump of emotion in your throat.
Dean continues to listen intently with his brows furrowed.
âIt was too late,â you sigh. âHe disappeared. They explained it away, thought a grizzly bear got him, but I know it wasnât a damn bear.âÂ
You shake your head as the tears come harder and faster, all over again. Deanâs jaw clenches in sympathy.
âNo one believed me about what I heard, not even my mom,â you confess. Your mother had been too distraught to entertain âanything else.â No matter how strongly youâd felt about your suspicions, you understood that she just wanted to put your fatherâs death behind her after his funeral. Part of you had stopped believing yourself.Â
A stronger part of you hadnât been able to let it go, however. So you had to come back here and try to find any trace of your father.Â
When you finally run out of words, you see the proverbial gears turning in Deanâs eyes.Â
âWhatâre you thinking?â you hazard to ask. You canât help but reach out and grab at his wrist. âDo youâŠdo you believe me?â
Deanâs gaze softens a fraction. He lays his larger hand over yours.
âYeah, I do,â he says. âIâm willing to bet on what took him too.â
He squeezes your hand before he lets you go and gets up from his seat. He soon returns with his fatherâs journal in hand. He reclaims his spot across from you, sitting close to your thigh on the end of the chaise. His gaze falls away from your face to the journal in hand, and he flips it open to a page he knows from memory. You suck in a subtle breath to steel yourself when he turns it toward youâto the very page that had given you nightmares the first night you read it.Â
Wendigo.Â
âNasty son of a bitch,â he says. âIt hibernates for decades at a time, but when it surfaces, it knows how to get through long winters like this. It takes a handful of people at a time, feeding on its victims slow.â
You feel sick at that, but still, his words elicit a sliver of hope.
âSo thereâs a chance he could still be alive,â you say, in a brighter voice. Dean gives you a measured look, dragging a hand over his mouth.
âLook, Iâm gonna be straight with you,â he says. âItâs been months, right?â
You nod, though you realize what heâs saying. Donât get your hopes up.
âBut thereâs a chance,â you insist, with tears in your eyes. Dean holds your gaze for a moment, and he nods. He squeezes your knee this time, then shuts the journal with one hand as he moves to stand.
You follow him on your crutches over to the kitchen. He pulls out a drawer and retrieves a folded-up map. Tossing the journal on the kitchen counter, he opens up the map and lays it out flat next to the sink. Itâs a map of the mountain, and the entire forest surrounding the mountain of Big Sky. Deanâs eyes flick up to yours.
âWhere did it happen?â
Dean has packed up his supplies and put on his winter gear. You watch him from the living room sofa, trying to hide your unease. You know heâs doing this for you, but thereâs part of you that doesnât want to see him leave, for his own sake, and selfishly for yours.
âTry not to go outside again unless you absolutely frigginâ have to,â he warns. âAnd if you do, donât go too far. Make sure you take a weapon, preferably a gun and a knife.â
âDean, I know,â you reply. You get up and hover by the couch while he finishes lacing his snowshoes and hooks his backpack on. Youâre unable to hide your concern.
âYou shouldnât be going out there alone,â you say.Â
Dean tosses you a grin. It has the shade of how he was with you before the âjournalâ incidentâself-assured, a hint teasing.
âDonât worry. This isnât exactly my first solo mission,â he says, though his devil-may-care attitude soon subsides into something more serious. âIf Iâm not back inside a week, you need to ration out the supplies here as best you can. That new meat in the fridge should last you a while.â
By new meat, you have to assume he means the bear.
âWhen youâre healed up, you can make your way down the mountain and back to town with that map I left for you. Kitchen counter,â he says.
Your frown worsens. You step closer to him with the pretense of closing and locking the front door for him after he leaves.
âDean,â you say, stopping him at the door. He turns to look at you over his shoulder. You hesitate, fidgeting slightly, but you gain your courage.
âIf you donât come back, Iâm going to find you,â you warn him.
Dean frowns. He turns to you fully and tilts his head as if to say, come again?
âNo, youâre not, Omega. You understand me?â
His terseness doesnât scare you anymore. You glare up at him, quite literally standing your ground.
âYou didnât leave me out there when you didnât even know me. You think Iâd do that to you?â you counter.
At that, Dean has to pause, tilting his head slightly. He almost smiles at your stubbornness, and just like that, his annoyance dissipates. It softens him, making him reach for your arm in an assuring squeeze.
âI appreciate the thought, but trust me. Iâd rather you look out for you,â he says.
Right now, you donât really give a shit about what heâd rather, but you donât say so. Itâs written across your face anyway. Deanâs mouth tugs at a smile.
âAll right, Iâm out,â he says. âSave me some of Yogi in there.â
You huff, but you shut the door behind him after he steps out onto the porch, down the steps, and beyond. You move to the living room window and watch him get farther and farther away from the cabin.Â
Despite the crackling fireplace, you begin to feel cold inside.Â
After the first three days, youâve managed to clean the entire cabin, top to bottom. With the ânew meat,â you make a large batch of soup to last you throughout the week. You freeze a couple of servings for Dean.
For when he gets back.Â
You try to fill up your time in other ways, like attempting, and failing, and trying again more successfully to make bread from scratch. You havenât binge-watched every season of The Great British Bake-Off for nothing.
Then you organize all of the alphaâs books by author. You wash all the laundry you can find and fold everything neatly on his bed, and you put away the couple of sweaters youâve borrowed from him into your own dresser.Â
On Day Four, you create a nest of pillows and blankets in the middle of the living room floor. In your anxiety, itâs a reflex you canât help. Your initial instinct was to nest in his room, but you thought that was too invasive of his privacy, so the living room was your next best option. At least his scent is still somewhat imbued into his favorite chair, and around his records. (You do steal another shirt of his to sleep with though.)
On Day 8, your worry becomes a living thing. You pace the living room and the kitchen on your crutches, probably wearing down the wooden ends of them while you debate what to do. Despite what Dean told you to do if he didnât get back, you know youâre not just going to leave him out there. But the reality is, you have a problem of mobility.
With a frustrated huff, you decide to try setting your problem foot down normally. Your ankle hurts, a sharp pain shooting up your calf and nearly sending you to the floor.
âFuck!â you gasp, both in shock and aggravation.
You know this isnât just a sprain. At best it could be a fracture, since no bone is protruding under the skin. It still means you shouldnât go after him either.Â
But youâll have to try.Â
After you manage to clamber back onto your feet using the crutches, you put together some supplies, including the extra med kit in case heâs hurt. (Or in case something happens to you while youâre out there.)Â This is a bad idea, you think, even as you heave on your jacket.
Then, you hear the sound of a lock turning, before the front door shoves open.Â
A yelp of surprise escapes you, though you soon realize that itâs Dean, looking worn down and ragged, but alive.Â
âHome, sweet home,â he says wryly, but he looks relieved to see you too.
You help him sink down onto the chaise, where he stretches out with a groan. He tips his head back on the cushion. His jacket is torn in a few places. Blood has dried on his cheek, his neck, and near his hairline, and you worry about where else he might be hurt.Â
You quickly go to the kitchen and pour a bowl of warm water and grab a hand towel. You bring it all back to Dean, where you set your supplies on the floor and sit down beside him on the cushion.
âAre you okay?â You try to calm down your racing heart (and the nauseous feeling in your stomach) as you help him work open his jacket, followed by his shirt. Discreetly, your eyes take in the expanse of his tanned skin and pebbling nipples exposed to the cool air, even with the fire roaring nearby.
âYeah, just peachy,â he says.Â
You smile a little. You take the towel, dampen it, and begin to clear the blood from his cheek, his neck, and the upper part of his torsoâeven his scuffed hands. Then you squeegee out the blood in the bowl and continue your task. Dean subtly watches you, his gaze a bit softer than usual.
He eventually looks you over with a frown as he takes in the way youâre dressed, and then the backpack by the door.Â
âWhat, about to go for a little afternoon stroll?â His sarcasm turns to annoyance. âDidnât I tell you to stay put until you can actually walk?â
Your mouth flattens into a line, but any anger you mightâve felt is waylaid by your relief. It brings tears to your eyes.Â
âI thought something happened to you,â you say.
Dean hesitates. Your hand has stilled on his chest. He softens a little more, grasping your hand in his larger one.Â
âIâm fine,â he says. âThe jobâs done.â
Your eyes widen. âYou found theâŠthing? The wendigo?â
His mouth pulls at a cocky grin, tempered only by his tiredness, and the way heâs looking at you. âSure did. Tried to take a chunk outta my ass, but a little aerosol deodorant and a lighterâs all you need to barbecue that ugly son of a bitch.â
You smile in amusement, but all too soon, it fades.
âDid you find my dad?â you ask.
Deanâs expression sobers as well.
âYeah, I think so.â His face gentles. âWas he wearing a blue puffer jacket?â
Your lips tremble. As that horrible realization dawns, you break down into tears. You already know from his tone that your father was dead when he found him.Â
Dean guides you down to him by your shoulder and wraps his arms around you. You bury your face into his neck, and your body shakes with quiet sobs.
âIâm sorry, sweetheart,â he murmurs into your hair. âBelieve me, I am.â
He holds you close, warm and secure. He allows you to stay there as long as you need, where you feel safe, even if this world has become a colder, darker place.Â
After a few minutes longer, your intense sobs begin to subside. You donât mean to, but you turn your nose into Deanâs neck, scenting him on reflex. It calms you down, but it has the unintended effect of arousing him. The alpha rumbles in pleasure.Â
You blink in surprise and lean back enough to see his face. Deanâs lips press together as he looks down on you; he seems embarrassed, but you also see the heat reflected in his gaze, so intense in those forest greens. Your face begins to warm in a blush.
He brushes your cheek with his thumb, collecting your tears there. You glance down at his plush lips again, your own parting with a breath. His hand moves to cup your cheek, framing the side of your face. PleaseâŠ
He finally drags you to him in a kiss.Â
Itâs heady and passionate, and also comforting. Your fingers wind into his hair, your nails scraping along his scalp. He growls as his arm tightens around your waist. You shiver in delight.
You press a hand to the center of his chest, giving you leverage to rise up and slide your thigh over his legs. There you sink into his lap. Your breasts pillow against his chest when you lay on top of him, your elbows digging into the cushion on either side of his head. His hands move down your body, feeling down your sides, squeezing your hips, and then your ass. You hum into his mouth and roll your hips into his. Already you feel him hardening through his jeans. Â
But somehow he breaks away from your kiss, even though your hands are still in his hair.Â
âSorryâŠwe canât do this,â he says, with difficulty.
He sits upright and nearly makes you fall over in the process. He grabs your arm before you tip over, but he keeps himself at armâs length from you after youâre forced to slide off his lap, sitting on the end of the chaise instead. Your eyes glisten with hurt and confusion.Â
âWhy?â is all you can ask.
He doesnât want to answer.Â
âDean?â you ask, inching towards him. He raises a hand to keep you at bay.
âJustâŠitâs not a good idea, okay?â he says, with the clenching of his jaw.
That cuts into you even more. Your heart pulses with pain.
âDo you know what your scent is to me?â you ask, in a voice slightly trembling. You glance at the fireplace that has dimmed to embers. âItâs better than that fire at full blaze. Every time I went camping with my dad, thatâs what I loved the most. Sitting by that fire, talking, laughing, and for the millionth time, telling the story of when I gave my sister micro bangs in her sleep when I was ten.â
You wipe a stray tear from your eye, but you respect the distance heâs put between you two.
âThe second I met you, I knew what this was,â you say. âI think you know it too.â
Dean shakes his head. His face betrays his wariness, his desire, and his obstinance.Â
âLookâŠeven if thatâs true, you donât want this with me,â he says. His handsome face becomes marred by a frown, his brows knitting together. âI donât even own this place. Besides my car, I ainât got much of anything to give.â
You shake your head in dismay. âI know thatâs not true.â
âIâm not bullshitting,â he says. âListenâŠIâve never had much. And what I did have, I found a way to lose. Iâve let my people down. Just about everyone Iâve everâŠâ
You canât help but reach out a hand for him, your heart hurting, but he leans away, pressing himself back against the seat. It cuts even deeper into you; now though, you wonder if itâs because he feels the same gut feeling you do when heâs this closeâclose enough to touch, but almost afraid of the burn.
âTheyâve been hurt, almost always because of me.â His voice shakes imperceptibly, with a wry, humorless turn of his lips. âSo take it from me, sweetheart. Youâll wanna steer clear.â Â
âDean,â you say. You expel a breath, digesting his words, while thinking of what you want to say.
âIâve never not felt safe with you,â you confess. âEven when I screwed up and drove you crazy, Iâm sure, I knew youâd never hurt me. The same way I knowâŠâ
You reach out a tentative hand to lay in the center of his chest, over his heart. Your thumb brushes the edge of his strange tattoo, over the dark ink in his skin.Â
âYouâre my mate. My one, true mate in this world,â you say, meeting his eyes. âAnd I want to know you.â
You see inner conflict in the depths of Deanâs eyes, dark green and troubled. You take a chance and lean in, brushing your cheek against his, nuzzling, laying a soft kiss to his cheek.Â
âOmega,â he warns, but the grit in his voice has little heat.
Or at least, itâs heat of a different kind, as his strong hands once again find your waist. They hold you still, but also hold you to him. Your gentle affection is making him ache, deep in the shadowy cavern of his chest. Heâd never admit it, but loneliness had set in there, burrowed deep with a stronghold on his heart. Without knowing, youâve been carving it out with those gentle hands.Â
You now slide your hands up his chest and over his shoulders, warm palms on his skin.Â
âAlpha, I want to know you,â you insist. Quiet, but steady, your voice is a mere brush of words near his ear, against his cheek. âPlease.âÂ
Deanâs brows furrow as he briefly shuts his eyes tight. With your whispered plea, the brittle chain of his restraint finally snaps free.Â
He cradles the back of your head and guides you back into a feverish kiss.
AN:Â Sorry to cut it off there lol, but the big (steamy) finale is coming up next week! Perhaps a little earlier than Friday. đ
Next Time:
âWere you nesting, Omega?â he teases, between the sinful meetings of his lips with yours. You hum your affirmation before his tongue swipes across your lower lip, seeking entrance.
You open yourself to him in more ways than one; you slip your hands across his naked shoulders and explore the smooth planes of muscle, the dips and softness in between. You encourage him to lower down, to cover you with the length and broadness of his frame. His weight is a welcome one between your thighs and against the softness of your body.
âWas worried about you,â you whisper a confession against his lips. Dean briefly pauses, meeting your eyes.
âThanks for waiting up,â he says, with a hint of a smile.
Your lips curve upwards in return.
â¶ïž Keep reading: Part 4 (Finale!)
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hello may i request a logan x reader fic where they co-parent and take care of laura? it can be in an au where laura goes to school but she keeps getting herself into fights and stuff. Just thought itâll be cute to see a family dynamic between them hehe
little family | old man logan
an: keep the old man logan requests coming đ« i love dilfs
mutant!reader (again, same as logan đ)
You were at work at the local library when you got a call about Laura. The young girl had gotten into another fight. She was truly a spitting image of her father. You apologized to your manager and excused yourself so you could go meet Logan at the school. Your relationship with Logan had come to an end, but you still cared deeply for each other and for Laura.
You finally made it to the school parking lot where you coincidentally parked next to Loganâs car. You headed inside the school and from the entrance you could hear loud talking coming from the main office. It was Loganâs voice so you followed it.
Laura sat outside the main office in the chairs that were neatly arranged in a row. She looked at you then ran to you in need of her mother.
âAre you hurt?â You crouched down to her level and inspected her face for cuts or bruises.
Laura shook her head. âNo.â
âWas the boy being mean again?â Laura had told you about a boy that kept picking on her. Laura nodded.
You were glad she wasnât injured. Now it was the principal you had to deal with. You told Laura to stay outside while you confronted the principal.
âHow are you sure that Laura was the one to start the fight? The other kid couldâve swung first!â Logan raised his voice.
âSir, this is the fourth grade. No kid should be âswingingâ their fists in the first place. We suggest you and your wife talk to Laura and perhaps look into other schools. Her teacher described her as unhinged and we canât haveââ the principal said.
âExcuse me?â You spoke. All eyes were on you now. Laura had poked her head into the office wanting to see what was going to happen. âLaura is perfectly fine. She doesnât need this school. Donât ever talk about my daughter like that ever again.â
Logan could see your claws slowly coming out of your knuckle as you approached the counter. He held you back by grabbing your wrist. âLetâs go.â
Just as Logan was guiding you out the door, the principal spoke again. âWhat is wrong with you people?!â
âFuck off!â You and Logan shouted at her as you exited the office, Laura followed you with a small smile on her face.
Your little family of three headed outside. You were sure Logan wasnât bringing her back to school. Maybe it was time to homeschool Laura. . .
âI can take her if you want to go back to work.â Logan said, taking out a flask from his jacket. He never really did care about school anyway.
âItâs fine. You can go back.â He exhaled, putting the flask back in his jacket.
âActually, why donât we go get ice cream? We havenât done that in a while.â You suggested. Laura immediately turned to Logan and started pulling at his jacket. She loved going out with you and Logan for ice cream.
âYeah . . . Thatâs . . Yeah, we could do that.â
So Logan drove in his car while you drove yours with Laura in the passenger seat to the nearest ice cream shop. At the shop, you told them about all the workplace drama and some new books you thought Laura might.
âYou three are such a lovely family!â An elderly woman gushed when she saw you. âHow long have you and your husband been married? I just celebrated fifty five.â
Before you could correct her about your marital status, Logan spoke up.
âTwenty five years, although it feels as if weâve been married all this time.â He grabbed your hand from under the table and squeezed it.
âHow adorable.â The woman said before saying goodbye and leaving the shop.
Laura looked at you and Logan with a smirk.As she was about to say something, Logan quickly stopped her.
âJust shut up and eat your ice cream, kid.â All you and Laura did was laugh. You loved your little family to death.
#marvel fluff#marvel x reader#logan howlett oneshot#wolverine fluff#wolverine x reader#logan howlett imagine#old man logan#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine#x men#x men imagine
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PRISON TOJII (heâs so addictiveđ€) if heâs so bad then why does he look so good? like thatâs literally my baby daddy yâallâđŒđ i wrote this kinda quick sorry iâve been so busy yâall
âhey doll itâs good to finally meet you.â
the words rang through your ears having this be the first time you heard his voice, it was deep and rough his ton was teasing you quietly.
Prison Toji whoâs eyes track as you reach into your bag grabbing a small notebook and pen. Opening the notebook revealed a page already full of questions you were waiting to ask him. oh how cute you are thinking about him so much just so excited. heâs pulled out of his trance when you finally speak.
âhi toji, itâs great to finally meet you tooâ your voice soft at first from your original anxiety about the situation. i mean your just here to meet him for your class nothing more. right? you wouldnât be here because you love reading his letters telling you how pretty you are. how he wished he could take you out properly. Shamelessly telling you how hard he got to your pictures, but he was just flirting heâs a man in a prison itâs what happens.
Prison toji who finally speaks next the seconds feeling like eternity for him. He doesnât want to have to sit across a table from you he wants you in his lap sitting pretty just how you are now.
âThatâs a lot of writing in your lil notebook doll, you been thinkin of me?â this time his tone laced with teasing and smirk displayed on his lips. it draws attention to his scar, you had never asked about it not wanting to push things you shouldnât, but you canât help but ask anyways.
âwhereâd you get that scar?â pointing to your own lip as you looked up at him. a small chuckle escapes him surprised at your bluntness.
âwell youâre quick to the questions today. you wanna get a closer look at it?â the gawking look one your face giving you away. with a quick nod you were leaning across the table to get a closer look as he did the same to help you.
Prison Toji who stops you with an almost surprised grunt when your hand reaches up to touch his lip where the scar is
âshit sorryâ quietly escapes you as you looked away for a second toji takes this as an opportunity
âyouâre okay sweetheart just gonna get us in some trouble if you do that.â his lips next to your ear as his breath brushing against your ear âcanât control myself around such a pretty thing like you.â
Prison Toji whose pants grow so much tighter when he sees how flustered you get from such a simple comment. You turn back to face him, his eyes instantly meeting yours challenging you telling you to do it, see how far it goes, see how bad he possibly is, and just like a moth to a flame you do just that. your hand grazing where his scar is going to cup his face, it was all so fast you could barely process it. he forced himself forward slamming his lips to yours. shock took you first then you eased into the kiss and began kissing back. and then you remembered HES A PRISONER AND THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR SCHOOL.
Prison toji whose ready to snap his cuffs when you pull away. leaning into you as much as he could almost whining when your lips part from his. he sees you shocked and guilt ridden with your finger touching your lips
âwhats wrong doll didnât like it? give me another chance to try againâ his body fully leaning to you practically half way over the table.
âim sorry we shouldnât hav- it wasnât bad- just we canât Toji.â your thoughts swirling the world is spinning. Could you get kick out of school? what if someone saw? are there cameras in here? why do i still want to? itâs wrong.
âItâs fine sweetheart no one will know, just you and me i know you want more from the look on your face and the way your sqeezin your thighs. donât even try to deny it.â
Caught. like a fly in a trap, heâs got you.
Prison toji whose cock jumps when you slide out of your seat and approach him looking to make sure the guards werenât watching. unknowing to the fact that toji already blackmailed both of them to let him have all the privacy he needed with you. the look in your eyes as you approached was pure lust and need for him.
âyour sure weâll be fine right?â you say as you lean down towards him
âim positive doll i made sure of it.â
Prison Toji who finally snaps his cuffs unable to take anymore. grabbing your hips and pulling you into his lap his face clashing with your the kiss is sloppy and full of need. a small sound escaping as he deepens the kiss.
âiâve been dreaming of this.â
TAGS: @altgojo @nanmiik @kouyoumarryme @imaslothandsowhat @dragonmaiden79 @sircatchungus
SOME OF YALL DIDNT SHOW UP WHEN I SEARCHED IM SO SORRYđ
#feral#jjk toji#i love terrible men#i need him#inmate toji#jjk#jujutsu toji#prison toji#toji fushiguro#toji zenin#toji x y/n#toji x you#jujutsu kaisen toji#toji x reader#dilf toji#oldermen#older toji
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OMGGGGGGG
the first kiss was so cute!!! perfect!! james was so sweet and gentle w herđđđ
canât wait to see there dynamic from now on
Thank you gorgeous! I held onto this so I'd have something to post this last part to, hope you don't mind <3
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 â part 4 âpart 5 â part 6 â part 7 â part 8 â part 9 â part 10 â part 11 â part 12 â part 13
roommate!James x fem!reader ⥠1.5k words
James is buzzing while he makes breakfast the next morning. Golden morning light pours in through the front windows, brightening the kitchen and warming his back where he stands in front of the stove, the buttery smell of pancake batter wafting up from the pan. Heâd gone to bed later than usual last night and slept hard but woke jittery, desperate to do something about the commotion in his chest.Â
A run hadnât done it, nor had replaying the previous night in his head, and now heâs convinced he wonât be able to rest until he can kiss you again. Itâs your fault, really. Your little sighs, your careful touches, the way youâd tugged at the roots of his hair when he asked you to, like all this time youâd only been waiting for permission. Youâve fucked him. James will never be able to get over it. Now, all he can think about is getting more.Â
Heâs made more pancakes than a family of five could eat when he hears the stair creak.Â
âGood morning,â he says, turning around just as you pad into the kitchen, quiet as a ghost.Â
Your eyes are bleary, but they still manage to widen slightly as you take him in, along with the precarious tower of pancakes beside him. Youâre in that sweatshirt he loves so much, sleeves hanging limply from your hands and hem hitting just above your knees.Â
âMorning,â you say, softer than soft.Â
âHowâd you sleep, lovely?âÂ
You shrug, not quite looking at him. âFine. You?âÂ
James grins. âBeautifully. You want some pancakes?âÂ
Your gaze goes again to the stack beside him, and he can practically see the quip brewing in your eyes. Doesnât seem like I have much of a choice. Are you planning to feed an army?
âSure,â you say in that same quiet voice. âThanks.âÂ
James studies you, intrigued. âGreat. Câmere, sweetheart.âÂ
He plates up a few pancakes, keeping one eye on you as he does. You seem disinclined to look even in his general direction, finding distractions with the stove, your plate, the weather outside.Â
âHowâs this?â He turns around with the plate. You take it cautiously, by the complete opposite end to avoid any possibility of making contact with his hand. Jamesâ heart warms at the way your fingers just peek out from the sleeve of your sweatshirt to grasp the plate. He wants to kiss you until you donât know what day it is. âToo many? Not enough?âÂ
âThis is good.âÂ
âYeah?â He doesnât let go of the plate. He tilts his head, trying to catch your eye, but you evade him. He has a hunch that if he were to touch your face (and god, does he want to) heâd find it burning hot. âAre you alright?âÂ
Your eyes flit up to his for a half a second before fleeing again. You hum, the sound tense and pitchy. âMhm.âÂ
âYou sure?â he asks, matching your soft tone. âDonât go getting shy on me now.âÂ
You look like you stop breathing.Â
And ordinarily James might feel bad, but post-kiss James cannot be prevailed upon to treat you as cautiously as he ordinarily might. Unfortunately for you, your secretâs out. Youâre lovely, youâd said, voice soft and breathy and mere inches from his own mouth, I like having you around. I do. I really like you. Also unfortunately for you, post-kiss James knows things.Â
He slips his palm alongside your face, working his hand behind your ear and letting his fingers burrow into the hair behind it. You melt, leaning into the touch. Your eyes meet his.Â
Itâs grueling work to keep from smiling. âWhatâs wrong, angel?âÂ
âNothingâs wrong,â you say, still quietly but now with more of yourself in your voice.Â
âReally? Because youâre acting like weâve just met.âÂ
âDonât youâdonât things feel different to you?â You seem almost distressed, eyebrows hooking upwards just slightly, pretty eyes imploring. Your voice softens again, now more with intimacy than reticence. âI donât know what Iâm supposed to talk with you about.âÂ
James lets his smile loose, thumbing at the skin behind your ear before letting you go. âWe can talk about anything you want,â he says simply, grabbing his own plate and leading you into the living room.Â
Youâve got a perfectly good kitchen table but almost never use it, each preferring to eat your meals on the couch. He flops down, careful not to tip his pancakes onto the cushion as he crosses his legs underneath him like youâre at a sleepover.Â
âSo, have any fun dreams last night?â Â
You smile. Itâs as heart-stoppingly lovely as always, and James thinks his own probably doubles in magnitude in response.Â
âA couple,â you admit.Â
âOh? What about?âÂ
Your smile goes sheepish, bottom lip slipping in between your teeth as if to impede its progress. You fork clinks against the plate as you start cutting up your pancake.Â
Jamesâ brain short-circuits.Â
âYou were in my dream,â he blurts.Â
Your eyes flit up to his warily. âYeah?âÂ
âYeah. It was one of those weird, super vivid dreams where nothing really happens, you know?â You seem to relax a bit. James douses his pancakes in syrup, starting to cut them up as he talks. âWe were here, and someone had spilled something on the rugâprobably Sirius, to be honestâand it made this huge stain. Iâd tried to pour baking soda on it, but the whole box had collapsed and it got everywhere. We were both sitting right there scrubbing with literal toothbrushes, and I think I was worried youâd be upset with me but you were just laughing.â His heart warms at the pseudo-memory, the hazy feeling of contentment that had permeated the dream. The sound of your laugh, exactly as sweet as in real life. âYour hands were totally covered in baking soda, and the rug was ruined, but we were both laughing our heads off.âÂ
Youâre smiling again, a small, knowing thing. âHad you said something to make us laugh?âÂ
âNo,â he says honestly, âI think it was you.âÂ
James is aware that heâs barely functioning. Itâs almost too much to talk and cut his pancakes at the same time while youâre looking at him like that, like heâs the loveliest thing youâve ever seen. It makes it both a relief and a disappointment when you drop your gaze.Â
âDo you think the stain mightâve been a premonition?â you ask.Â
He raises his eyebrows. âHow do you mean?âÂ
You laugh, and heâs instantly spellbound, caught somewhere between fantasy and reality. It takes him a second to realize youâre touching the edge of his plate, tipping it up. James looks down. It had been nearly falling off his lap, his pancakes cut up into tiny pieces and syrup pooled near the rim.Â
You look up at him, seraphim with the morning light brightening your features and the hint of a smile playing on your lips. He thinks of how soft theyâd felt on his the night before, the way theyâd fallen open like welcoming him home.Â
âYou were almost spilling syrup onto the rug,â you say, that rare and beloved teasing lilt to your voice. âIt wouldâve taken more than baking soda to get that out.âÂ
âSee?â he asks. âYou know how to talk to me just fine.âÂ
You look surprised, then self-conscious, though not nearly as bad as when youâd come into the kitchen a few minutes ago. He covers your hand with his to keep you from going anywhere. Sets his plate on the coffee table.Â
âCan I kiss you?âÂ
Your eyes are wide. âAgain?âÂ
âYes, again,â James laughs. âAnd again after that, preferably. Only if itâs okay with you.âÂ
You shake your head, looking something akin to bewildered. âYeah. Yeah, please.âÂ
He starts to lean toward you, and you meet him halfway. Already, itâs a bit different. Thereâs no tentative stillness, no slow yielding. Your lips are pliant and eager, parting and closing around his like youâre trying to get as much of him as you can. Your fingers wind in his hair without instruction, and James responds by placing his hand in that spot youâd seemed to like it so well last night, the material of your sweatshirt soft beneath his touch. You taste like his pancakes, the syrup sweet on your tongue.Â
âKeep talking to me,â he murmurs, kissing the corner of your lips worshipfully, âokay?âÂ
Your voice is breathless. âWhy?âÂ
âBecause I like you.â He tugs at you, wanting you closer. âAnd I think Iâve put in the work for you to warm up to me, if itâs all the same to you.âÂ
You make a tiny, amused sound. âFine,â you say. You grow bolder, kissing your way up his cheek, the top of his eyebrow, until your nose is nestled in his hair and your lips are caressing his forehead. âConsider me warmed.âÂ
James grins, unable to help himself. He thinks that becoming your friend didnât go quite as he planned, but he feels as though he won in the end.
#roommate!james potter#shy!reader#roommate!james potter x shy!reader#james potter au#james potter#james potter x shy!reader#james potter x reader#james potter x fem!reader#james potter x y/n#james potter x you#james potter x self insert#james potter fanfiction#james potter fanfic#james potter fic#james potter fluff#james potter imagine#james potter scenario#james potter drabble#james potter blurb#james potter one shot#james potter oneshot#marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#the marauders#hp marauders#marauders x reader#marauders au
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I'm in a spooky vibe rn and I've been thinking about one of the enha members (hyung line) with a scream mask ( y'know from the movie sjshsj) about to m*rder reader but idk they get turned on and both got freaky đ«Š
fffuuuuccccckkkk anon your brain is đ love this idea so much (fun fact scream is my favorite slasher movie and I even have a ghost face tattoo) I hope this is exactly what youâre looking forđ€ itâs funny because I also main ghost face in dead by daylight so when I saw this request I got SOOOO happy ~ I also made this a lot longer than I expected to but oopsđ€đ€
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chill & kill: sim jaeyun
part one of chilling & killing đȘ | spotify playlist
pairing: jake x afab!reader word count: 6.4k
You sit up on the couch, eyes widening as you grab the TV remote and turn up the volume.Â
âThe mysterious ghost face kill strikes again, killing two more college students in the library this morning. The bodies were discovered byâŠâ
You quickly shot to your feet, grabbing your jacket and camera and slipping your feet into your boots tying them quickly as you slipped out your dorm door.Â
You never were so happy to live on campus as you ran from the dorm building and across campus to the library. Students surrounded the main entrance and you pushed your way through finally seeing the inside of the library.Â
âHey!â a police officer yelled at you when you slipped under the caution tape, âYou canât be back here!âÂ
You eyed him, pulling out your student journaling ID, âI have every right to be here.âÂ
The officer tried to protest, but you kept your stride, making your way to the bodies ignoring the yelling officer behind you.Â
The closer you got, the more the smell of blood filled your senses, making your skin crawl. Your journaling partner was already on the scene, standing at the edge of the other caution tape marking off the two bodies.Â
You stood beside him, your heart sinking as you took in the bodies of the two females lying dead in front of you. They were just freshmen. Barely made it into college and fully started their lives.Â
From what you could see, they were stabbed multiple times in the chest and abdomen. One of their necks was slit, and the other looked like they were stabbed through their throat. They suffered, for sure.Â
âWho found them?â you asked him, taking your eyes off the dead bodies and turning to your partner. He had one arm crossed over his chest and gripped his elbow as his other arm was reached up and fingers gripping his chin.Â
He slowly tilted his head to look at you, streaks of his black hair fell into his eyes, âFunny enough,â he sighs, âSunghoon and myself.âÂ
You completely turned your whole body to him, âThatâs why youâre here before me?! Jake, what happened?!âÂ
Jake chucked, âYou're more worried that I was here before you?â you narrowed your eyes at him, and he sighed again, completely wrapping his arms over his chest, looking back at the bodies. You could have sworn you saw a sparkle glint in his eyes. Jake has always been excited to be on the scene, same as you. But he enjoyed it a little bit more than you. Heâll make one damn good detective one day for sure, âWanted to check out a book and saw the door already unlocked for the campus not even fully being opened yet. And that's when we found the bodies.âÂ
âWhere is Sunghoon now?â you asked, looking around the library, spotting him with the librarian and being questioned by a detective.Â
You went to walk over, to ask him questions, but Jake stopped you, putting a hand on your shoulder and pulling you towards him, his arm wrapping around over your chest, âDonât question him, heâs really shaken up,â You wanted to protest, only for Jake to squeeze you tightly against him, your back pressing further into his chest, âPlease, YN, heâs my best friend. Iâll take care of it. I promise.âÂ
You sigh and nod. Letting Jake take the lead with this one.Â
But you still had a job to do. So you pulled out your camera, taking a few photos. Once you finished with the photos, you pulled your journal from your back pocket, asked Jake a few questions, and took his account down then turned back to the bodies and took your own notes.Â
You circled the area, taking in every inch and piece of information you could. Jotting down everything in your little notebook.Â
Jake kept his eyes on you, watching you do your thing. His eyes sparkled more the longer his eyes lingered on you. He eventually dropped his gaze and went back to looking at his best friend, watching as he sat at one of the tables, knees pressed to his chest and hands curled into his hair. The small smile Jake had fell at the sight of his best friend andâ
âJake!â You called for him, bringing his attention back to you, âI think I found something.âÂ
âOh?â He walks over to you and kneels down on the floor beside you, your camera resting on your knees as you point your finger toward one of the dead girls, âWhat am I looking at honey?âÂ
You groaned and rolled your eyes, âUnder her body, thereâs a black glove,â you looked at Jake. His jaw clenched tightly, âThe killer must have accidentally lost it, dropped it, or whatever. Maybe she fought them or something. I donât know. But I want to figure it out.âÂ
You took a few close-up photos of the glove and turned back around to show Jake, noticing a scratch mark sliding down the left side of his neck. You hadnât seen it before since you were standing on his right side, but it looked deep and irritated, âWhat happened there?â You reached up to touch it, but he grabbed your hand quickly and set it down at your side.Â
âHoon and I were wrestling earlier at our apartment and I hit the side of our entertainment center, I am fine.âÂ
You thinned your lips into a line, boys will be boys you guess. Their apartment was a lot smaller than the dorms on campus, they must have been fucking around at a good spot to have knocked Jake into their entertainment center.Â
Eventually, the police shooed you and Jake off the scene. Forcing you two to head to the journaling office. You printed off the photos you took and made copies of your notes, passing them to Jake.Â
You glanced at the clock, it was now ten thirty am and classes would be resuming like normal, so you and Jake went your separate ways.Â
Jake was still new to being a journalist. You were a club of two, consisting of just you and another girl who helped write the articles for you while you took care of the rest. She wrote her own things, mostly on the sports or other small crimes that happen on campus, but with the ghost face killer making his rounds, you took up the role of this case with her helping on the side. At first, you took it all on yourself, but as the body count started piling up, you needed the help. So you let her help and put out an application for an extra set of hands, which Jake answered.Â
Youâve seen him around campus before he joined you. Was born and raised in this town. Being the town's sweetheart and golden puppy boy. You did some research on him before allowing him into your club, canât have the killer join you, right?
He was the captain of his soccer team in middle and high school. Has taken his schoolâs team to the championships multiple times and was the heartthrob of the school. He donated to charity when he could and volunteered at the police station on the weekends in hopes of landing a good detective job there after graduation. He was the whole definition of a straight-A good boy student. Perfect for your team. He became your partner and you taught him everything you knew. When Jake joined, the body count from this ghost face killer was only three. But with the two bodies that were found today, it was now at fifteen.Â
In between your classes, you found yourself back at the club office, pinning the new photos to the corkboard in the back of the room, wrapping red string between the pushpins and possible suspects. After staring at the corkboard for what felt like hours, the other female club member came in and you helped her write the article. Give her your notes and advising as she writes.Â
Jake popped in and out of the office as well, brainstorming with you about the suspects and the time of events that happened. You both spun in circles that led to nowhere. You ask Jake again about speaking to Sunghoon, and he shoots you down, âGive him some time. Iâll get the police report soon and itâll help, I am sure.âÂ
A week has gone by since the murder in the library. You ended up shifting the corkboard from the office and into the corner of your kitchen, using the fluorescent light of the kitchen bulbs to light the board more. You leaned against the back of your couch, it being the furthest you could step away from the board. Biting at your nails as your eyes scanned every murder case. Every newspaper article and police report on the board.Â
Nothing made sense. Nothing connected. Whoever this killer was, they were good. Covered their tracks without so much as a piece of hair at any scene of their crimes. Until the glove.Â
You ran your hands into your long hair, scratching at the back of your head. You needed that police report that Jake still has yet to give you. Needed to speak to Sunghoon. There were missing pieces and those two things were important. You looked over to the clock above the kitchen sink. It was almost one thirty in the morning. But you still got up and slid into your sneakers, pulled your jacket on, and bounced out the door.Â
Finding yourself in front of Jake and Sunghoonâs front door, knocking loudly. There was no answer. So you did the next best thing and called Jakeâs cell phone.Â
There was some shuffling on the other end of the door and a groan. The door opened and you find a half-awake Jake before you, his hair a mess and spreading in every direction, wearing a plain white tee shirt and a pair of black and blue checkered boxers, âYN,â he sleepily growled and then yawned, âItâs almost two am, what is it?âÂ
âCan I have the police report?âÂ
Jake blinked at you, âHuh?âÂ
You crossed your arms, âThe police report. Can I have it?âÂ
Jake let out another yawn, âItâs at the school, in the office.âÂ
Of course, it was. And the campus is closed and if you get caught sneaking in just to get a piece of paperâŠYou sigh, âThanks anyway,â you softly say, and turn around to walk down the stairs but stop, âCan I talk to Sunghoon?â
Jake scoffs, leaning against the doorframe, âItâs almost two am,â he repeats, âWhy are you out here so late? Thereâs a literal killer running around here.âÂ
You knew that. And still took that risk to come out here. The killer had to be a student at your college. Every murder had been college kids. It had to be another student. Thatâs what made being out here so dangerous.Â
âI know,â you shrugged, âBut I canât stand by and do nothing.âÂ
Jake frowned, âYou know youâre allowed to actually be a college student right? Live a normal life too?â you shrugged again, and he just scoffed again, âYN, go home and rest. Let the detectives with actual badges handle it. We can only do so much.âÂ
You narrow your eyes at him, âLet me speak to Sunghoon.âÂ
Jake stands his ground, âNo. Go. Home. Before you get yourself killed.âÂ
You roll your eyes, âSee you tomorrow then.âÂ
Jake mimicked your words and watched as you walked down the steps before walking back inside and going back to sleep.Â
You didnât understand why Jake was so against you speaking to Sunghoon. Maybe he was being protective? Sunghoon didnât look the best after finding the bodies. He was probably so shaken up. But it only made you want to speak to him more. And that need only grew more when you noticed Sunghoonâs car wasnât in its normal parking spot beside Jakeâs.Â
Meaning he wasnât home.Â
Youâve respected Jakeâs wishes on not to talk to Sunghoon, but this matter was getting serious and Sunghoon just might be the big break you needed. So you quickly walked off the apartment complex, glancing back to make sure Jake was outside, and pulled your phone from your pocket as you kept walking and dialed a number.Â
âHello?âÂ
âSunghoon, where are you right now?âÂ
â
You found him atop the bleachers of the soccer field just like he said he would be. A soccer ball sat between his feet, grass scuff marks were at the ends of his jeans, and sleeves of his hoodie rolled up to his elbows and sweat dripped down the side of his face. It didnât take a genius to figure out he came here to kick the ball around. Probably as a distraction.Â
You sat down beside him, âHow are you holding up?âÂ
Sunghoon scoffs, âHolding up as in a week ago I found two dead bodies in the middle of the library or holding up because Iâve been questioned left and right by everyone or my best friend/roommate has smothered me to stay home and take time.âÂ
You felt bad for him, mostly for what youâre about to ask him. He wanted to obviously forget what he saw, who could blame him? It takes special people to see a dead body and not be fazed by it.Â
âIâm sorry for asking you to do this againâŠâÂ
Sunghoon just shrugs, âIf I am being honest, Iâve wanted to talk to you for a while now.âÂ
You raised your brow, âYeah?âÂ
He nodded, âJake was against it,â he took a deep breath, âSomething was off that dayâŠwith him.âÂ
âWhat do you mean?â You placed a hand on his knee, âYou can tell me anything. Start with the beginning.âÂ
Sunghoon looked you in your eyes, then looked off into the distance at the field, âHe told me that morning he was meeting our coach, for a one-on-one coaching session. At first, I didnât think anything about it, being he was a soccer prodigy or whatever.â You nodded, remembering how much of the soccer star Jake was back in high school, âSo you could probably understand my surprise when I got a call from our coach saying he tried to get ahold of Jake and then he confirmed with me that they did in fact not have a meeting that day.âÂ
You sat back against the bleacher seat behind you, staring off onto the field, letting the gears in your brain slowly turn, waiting for Sunghoon to continue.Â
âI got scared, rushing out of the apartment and searching everywhere for him. Scared and thinking I was going to find my best friend murdered somewhere, ya know?â You understood, with this killer on the loose everyone was watching their backs and afraid. Who would be next? Who is next? âBut I found him, lingering around the library building, digging through his soccer duffle bag. My heart almost stopped when I saw himâŠalive,â he took a deep breath, âSo I confronted him, and he played it off that he did have a practice, but was with his coach from high school.âÂ
You looked back at him, to read his face. Seeing how pale his skin was becoming, âI believed him at first, thinking maybe I misheard that morning. So we started walking back, but he kept digging through the duffle bag, looking frantic. He wasnât acting himself. Said something about needing to go to the library, about finding a book or something, and then took off. But I followed after him. I didnât want to leave him alone, not with ghost face running around. But when I got to the library, IâŠcouldnât find him. I saw him go through the back door instead of the front. But once I walked in and noticed all the doors were already unlockedâŠthen I found the bodies.âÂ
You squeezed his knee, âItâs okay.âÂ
He nodded, swallowing and looking down at the soccer ball, âI smelt the blood first and then noticed their bodies. And thenâŠthen there were footsteps behind me and I knew that I was next. But the library walked in through the front entrance and started screaming, her eyes darting to me, saying we did it. I turned around to see Jake standing behind me. His skin was pale and sweaty. Eyes wide as he stared back at me and then at the bodies and the librarian. Heâs never been surprised to see the bodies. Heâs been working with you for over half a year. So when I saw the look on his faceâŠthe surprise that was there.âÂ
You opened your mouth to speak, but Sunghoon kept going, âThe weirdest thing is his duffle bag was missing from his shoulder,â Sunghoon scoffs, âHow did it just disappear.â It was a good question. A very good one. âHe hasnât been the same since then.âÂ
You tried to lighten the mood, âMaybe you knocked something loose in his head when the two of you wrestled the other day.â Sunghoon gave you a confused look, âYou know? He said you two got too close to your TV stand and he got scuffed up by the edge of it. Making a scratch on his neck,â you pointed to the right side, tracing a finger down the side of your neck to mimic where Jake has his slowly fading scar now, âItâs right here.âÂ
Sunghoon raised a brow, âI donât know what youâre talking about. We havenât wrestled inside the apartment.â Your smile faded. Sunghoonâs phone started vibrating and he pulled it from his pocket, seeing Jakeâs caller ID on the screen, âGuess he noticed I wasnât home.â Sunghoon locked his phone, ignoring the call, âI havenât been telling him when Iâve left the apartment. So I better prepare myself with a talk when I get back.â He stood up and started walking down the bleachers, âThank you for listening to me, I donât want to suspect my best friend, and it probably isnât even him. Heâs just weird, I guess.âÂ
You watched as he disappeared before standing up and finally finding yourself back at your dorm and in bed. Replaying Sunghoonâs story over and over, trying to piece it all together. It still didnât make sense. None of it did. Nevertheless, it didnât stop you from texting Jake, asking him to meet you at your dorm as soon as he could tomorrow, and him responding he had soccer practice but would be here right after.Â
â
âYou should really keep your front door locked, YN, thereâs a killer out there.â Jake teased you as he made himself at home, dropping his duffle bag into a chair at your kitchen table, his eyes going to the corkboard, âMake any progress yet?âÂ
You stared down at the duffle bag quickly before looking up at him, then back to the board, âNo I havenât. I left my door unlocked on purpose. Knew youâd be coming here.âÂ
Jake smiled at you and stood beside you at the back of your couch, looking at the board, âWeâll catch him, donât worry honey.âÂ
You glanced at him slightly, your heart winced at the nickname heâd given you. You looked to his neck, seeing the scratch still healing but faded, being nothing more than a pink line.Â
Jake looked down at you, giving a smile, âCan I freshen up in your bathroom? I bet I donât smell the greatest from practice.âÂ
You scrunch your nose, âYes, please. You smell.âÂ
Jake just rolls his eyes playfully and slides his hand up and down your back quickly before leaving your side, âIâm stealing your deodorant.âÂ
You waited until you saw him turn the corner and heard the bathroom door close and lock before slowly walking to his duffle bag.Â
You didnât want to suspect Jake anymore than Sunghoon did. But his story last night didnât add up. No part of it did. Jakeâs actions didnât add up. Jakeâs story he gave you didnât match Sunghoonâs or the librarian's. None of the pieces were adding up no matter how much you tried to force the pieces together.Â
You looked down the hallway, then back at the bag, and slowly unzipped it, your hand flying to your mouth quickly to stop any noise from coming out. You took a couple of deep breaths and continued looking into the bag.Â
The police report you asked for along with the glove from the scene of the crime was in the bag in a ziplock bag. Along with the other matching glove and the ghost face mask and the black suit. You pulled the mask out of the bag with shaky hands. Why did Jake have these items? You knew. You knew why and still tried to find another explanation. But after seeing the contents of his bagâŠthe pieces of the puzzle fit. Everything clicked and made sense.Â
âDonât you know itâs rude to go through peopleâs things, honey?â before you could move, a knife was pressed to your neck and his other arm was wrapped around your waist, âI expected better from you than to snoop around.âÂ
Jakeâs hot breath was hitting your ear, sending chills down your spine. Any doubts you had were now out the window. Jake is ghost face. Jake is the killer.Â
âKeeping secrets is very rude too,â you retorted back, dropping the mask back into his bag, âBut I figured you already knew that I found out, hint why you leave your bag so easily for me to look through.âÂ
Jake chuckles, squeezing his arm around you and pressing the knife further against your skin, âCanât get anything past you, can I?âÂ
âWhy?â you asked, tilting your head at the movement of him brushing the side of his face to yours.Â
âWhy did I do it?â he nuzzled his nose on the shell of your ear, âYouâll need to be specific, honey.âÂ
You swallowed, âEverything.âÂ
Jake chuckles again, âBecause itâs fun.â It was such a simple yet spine-chilling answer, âYou think I played this fucking good boy persona because I actually wanted to? No, no. I had to play that persona. To hide my secret. This is all a game to me, YN.âÂ
âItâs why you joined our club,â you swallowed again, âTo make it harder for us to figure you out.âÂ
Jake shrugs, gently biting at the shell of your ear then rubbing his nose against it again, âI thought it would add to the fun, honestly. Yeah having an inside made it so much easier. It covered my tracks well. Until you started picking up on every. Fucking. Thing.â he hissed, tightening his grip, âYou made it harder to cover up my tracks. Picking apart every smallest thing with each murder. I was lucky you didnât suspect me, that was until you started poking your nose more into my business, you donât think I didnât know you tore the office apart looking for the police report before coming to my apartment? That you talked to Sunghoon even after I told you not to?âÂ
âYou have our phones and the office bugged,â this should surprise you, but it doesnât. It made sense.Â
He pressed his lips to your ear, âSmart girl. Think I wouldnât bug your phone? Or my best friends?âÂ
âJake, you were going to kill him, werenât you.âÂ
Another low chuckle, âYes,â your body stilled, feeling cold, âIt would have been a pity, really, to kill off my best friend all because he also stuck his nose where he shouldnât have.âÂ
You looked down at his bag, seeing the bag gloved, âYou went back to the library for the glove, you fucked up.âÂ
He growled in your ear, âShut up! That bitch fought me instead of taking it. I didnât even realize my glove was gone until after I murdered them both and fled the scene. Thatâs when Sunghoon showed up. I knew I had to go back and find where the fuck my glove went before someone else did. I didnât know he was following me until I went to go back and check the bodies after tearing apart the other side of the library and saw him standing there. I quietly set my bag in one of the reading rooms and locked the door, slipping my knife into the back of my jeans. Preparing myself to kill my best friend.â
âAll to keep your fucking secret,â you snapped at him, his hands on your body getting tighter.
âWatch it, honey,â he hissed, âYou do have a knife to your throat right now.âÂ
âShe fought you right? Probably knocked off your mask too. She saw your face, and you acted quickly and sliced her throat. Not before she left her own scratch on your neck.âÂ
Jake nodded, a wide smile on his face, âNothing gets past you. Youâd make a great detective someday, honey.âÂ
You needed to turn him in. Needed to get out of here and turn him in before he could kill anyone else. Fifteen. Heâs murdered fifteen people. Probably more before he took up the ghost face mantle.
Jake pressed his chest to your back, âYou know,â he whispers, âIâve dreamed about doing this with you, my knife to your throat,â he rocked his hips against your ass, âItâs so fucking hot.âÂ
It was now or never. You tilted your head to the side, taking the skin of his forearm between your teeth and biting hard.Â
âFuck!â he shouted, his hand flexing and dropping the knife to the floor and his grip on you loosening.Â
You pushed him back with your back and sent him falling to his ass. You barely made it two steps away from him before both of his hands were on your ankles, tripping you to the floor and pulling you towards him.Â
You kicked your legs but not getting out of his strong grip. Jake worked fast to flip you over onto your back, his hands now at your wrists and holding them up and above your hand, pinning them to the floor. He straddled you, locking his legs around yours to keep you from wiggling them.Â
âStop fighting me!â he growled, using all his weight to pin you to the floor.Â
You stopped, chest rising and falling as you stared up at his beautiful killing face.Â
He held your wrists down with one hand and reached for his knife with the other, chuckling as he once again held the knife to your throat, âYou look so pretty like this baby, all underneath me like this.âÂ
Jake was so turned on by this. Heâs only dreamed of having you pinned underneath him with his favorite weapon against your skin. Dreamed what youâd sound and look like. This passed his expectations. It went even further than that. His cock twitched in his pants seeing the look of anger all over your face.Â
âYou get horny every time you kill someone?â you spat out at him, the fire in your eyes burning.Â
Jake cocked his head, âYouâre not afraid of me?âÂ
âWhy would I be afraid of a horn dog who likes killing people?âÂ
Jake laughs, adjusting his legs from yours, using his knees to spread your legs apart, sliding himself between them, âBaby, youâre the only one Iâve ever got horny over. The others were just killings to kill. But you? You do something to me.âÂ
From the moment Jake first saw you on campus he wanted to be buried balls deep in your cunt. Wanted to fuck you so hard as he softly made cuts on your arms to watch you bleed as your moans of pain and pleasure filled his ear holes. Wanted to cum so deep within you and make you his.Â
He had more than just joined the club to hide his killings as his reason. He wanted to get closer to you, get to know you. Then kill you after he got his dick wet. But what he didnât expect was you figuring him out so soon. His plans got pushed up. He wanted you afraid of him as he killed you. He didnât expect you to look at him with fury, so unafraid.Â
Jake leaned down, being inches away from your face, the knife pressing harder against your neck, âYou get me so hard,â he rocked his hips between you, his hard cock rubbing against your clothed cunt. You tried to not whimper, to keep your firm face, but the effect he was having on you down south was obvious. He wasnât stupid, you knew that.Â
Youâd be lying if you said you havenât been crushing on Jake since he walked into the club for the first time. How couldnât you? He was perfect. Still was as he sat atop you with a knife to your neck.Â
You relaxed your body, âIf youâre going to kill me, then do it.âÂ
Jake smiled, âWant me to?â He released your hands from his grip and slid the knife from your neck and down to your shirt, his free hand looping his fingers at the collar, using the knife to cut a line, tearing the fabric and exposing your laced bra and skin. Jake tucked his lip between his teeth. Fuck you looked so much better than what you did in his dreams. So much better than he imagined. He slid the tip of the knife down your chest, rounding it around your breast and down your sternum, âWhere should I start?â He placed both hands at the sides of your head and bent down, lips brushing against yours, âTell me, baby.âÂ
You lifted your head, connecting your lips to his. Taking in the taste of his cherry chapstick and the softness of his lips. He rocked his hips against yours, moaning into your mouth, âStart by taking the rest of my clothes off.âÂ
He laughs against your lips and then pulls away, setting the knife down at your side to pull his famous white tee shirt off his body, âYeah?â you nodded, eyes darting to his bare chest and abs, âSo fucking dirty,â he cooed, âShould have known you were into killers.âÂ
You sat up on your elbows, ready to reach for the button of his jeans, but found the knife back in his hand and the tip pointing at your chest, âLay back down, baby, no need to be so impatient.âÂ
His free hand touched your shoulder and gently pressed you back to the floor. You kept your eyes on him as he unbuttoned his jeans, the knife still in hand as he wiggled out of his jeans and boxers, leaving him bare to you.Â
You watched as he took his length between his fingers, slowly pumping himself, him biting his lips. You were growing too impatient. Needing to feel him against you, in you, âJake,âÂ
âShhh, honey,â he whispers, dropping his hands to your shorts, âI know.âÂ
The cool metal of the knife brushed your skin as he pulled your shorts and panties down your thighs. Goosebumps formed on your skin and making Jake chuckle, enjoying this more than heâd thought, âYou love the way my knife feels against you?â He tossed your clothing somewhere off into the void of the room, settling himself back between your legs, his tip prodding your entrance, âlove the way it feels to glide against your skin?â He sent the knife sliding up your tummy, his hips pushing his cock in your pussy, slowly stretching you.Â
Jake bottomed out, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix. He hissed out in pure pleasure of finally being buried so deep inside you, the pleasure of how fucking good you felt wrapped around him, âfuck baby,â he smiles, sliding the knife to your waist, wanting to cut open your skin and see how pretty your blood would look pooling out, âfeel so good and Iâm not even moving.âÂ
You bucked your hips up against him, wanting to feel any kind of friction. Jake drops the knife to the floor, his hands pinning your arms above your head again, âI told you to stop being so impatient.âÂ
âJae, please,â you begged, wrapping your legs around his waist, âI need you.âÂ
Hearing you beg for him had him gone and all he cared about now was fucking you. To make you feel so good until youâre cumming around his dick.Â
Jake started out slow, burying his face in your neck, âWhy arenât you afraid, hmm? I could kill you right now.âÂ
You leaned into him, squeezing your legs tighter on him to push him even further into you, âBecause I have secrets of my own.âÂ
Jake chuckled, bucking his hips harder and faster into yours, his lips pressing to yours. Tongue sliding down your throat and exploring your mouth. One hand leaving yours to cup your breast, his thumb and index finger pinching your nipple, âTell me your secrets.âÂ
âYou already seem to know them all, stalker,â you hissed, throwing your head back against the floor at him pinching your nipple harder in the same movement of him pushing his dick hard against your cervix, pressing so hard to break whatever barrier that was stopping him from completely filling you whole as his hip bones knocked against yours.Â
âTell me anyway,â he whispers between kisses, now sliding his mouth down to your ear, licking the shell of it, âI donât know what you havenât texted or physically talked about.âÂ
âI have feelings for you,â you felt insane saying it out loud. Felt crazy that you even admitted it to him. To the person who was fucking you into pure bliss. To a murderer, âIâm obsessed with you, Jake.âÂ
Jake bit down into your neck, both of his hands sliding underneath you to wrap at your shoulders, fucking his hips against you faster. His teeth sank into your skin tearing it slightly, a small sprinkle of blood escaping.Â
âFuckkkk,â he moans, tasting the brassy liquid on his tongue, âEven your blood tastes good.âÂ
He was fucking crazy. You knew he was. But everything about him drew you to him. Made you want him more.Â
And him hearing how obsessed you were with him made him even crazier about you.Â
âSuch a good girl,â he cooed, âLetting me fuck you like this, looking so pretty for me this way.â He bucked his hips faster, adjusting his legs on the floor to spread yours even wider, giving him more access to hit your weak spots and to hit them just right.Â
You pulled at his hair, âJake!â you moaned out his name, the knot in your stomach threatening to snap, âIâm goingâŠfuckâŠIâm going to cum.âÂ
âPlease,â he groaned, âCum for me baby,â he sticks his tongue out, flattening it against the bite he left on your shoulder, licking up the new blood that pooled out, âfucking cum around my cock for me, honey.âÂ
A few more thrusts and you came around him. Tingles spread throughout your body at the feeling of your release. Jake moans at feeling the mess youâve made on his cock, him working his dick faster in your cunt to chase out the release he wants. The one heâs dreamed about having with you. His hand only did so much for him with his thoughts while back at his apartment. But now he was balls deep in your sweet pussy, having you right where he wanted you.Â
âGonna cum soon,â he panted, hands squeezing your shoulders, âfuck I want to cum in this cunt so bad.â
You pulled at his hair harder, the overstimulation hitting you hard, âJae, I canâtââ
âI know, baby,â he pressed his forehead against yours, his brows furrowing and eyes shut tightly, âGoing to fill this pussy to the brim, understand? This pussy is mine.âÂ
Jake pressed a kiss to your lips and lifted up, taking your legs and pressing them to your chest, pistoning into you faster but sloppy, âShit,â he hissed, âFixing to cumâfuckâIâm cumming, honey, Iâm cumââ one final thrust, and his white ropes spilled into you. He pressed his hips against you and held them there, making sure every last drop of his cum made it deep within, none to be wasted.Â
âFuck,â he cursed, slowly lifting himself back up and dropping your legs back to the floor, âSex with you was so much better than in my head. I only dreamt how good this pussy would feel. How good itâd feel to cum in you.âÂ
Jake was definitely more obsessed with you than you were with him. And he honestly didnât care how obvious it was.Â
âFuck I am in love with you.â he chuckles, his hands rubbing up and down your thighs.Â
You tilted your head to the side, seeing the knife sitting there idle. Jake clocked where your eyes landed, but he wasnât fast enough as you quickly grabbed it, being the one who now held the knife to his throat, the fire in your eyes back.Â
Jake might have just came, but his dick twitched and hardened again between the walls of your fuck hole. His crazy smile is so wide and his eyes so lustful. Seeing you so ready to end him right here and now made him crazier. Made him crave you even more.Â
He wouldnât kill you now. No, no. How could he kill the love of his life? How could he slide that knife into your skin and cut you open? You were precious to him, more than what he thought before. Maybe the sex drew him in, but you werenât getting away from him that easily.Â
âAwe, babe,â he cooed, taking your wrist in his hand and slowly removing the knife from your hand, âThis is how this will go now,â he tossed the knife across the room and out of reach, pinning your arms back to the floor, slowly rocking his hips, âYou will keep your fucking mouth shut, got it? Close this ghost face case and if anyone asks you donât know anything about it. Give it up. All for me, okay baby?âÂ
You nodded, not being able to say no to those brown eyes. It was toxic, whatever relationship you just found yourself in. You became that girl in books and movies who fell for the killer. It surprises you at how fast you were willing to drop everything for him. To keep his secret.Â
He kisses you gently and fucked you on the floor until you both came again and again and again.Â
What did you get yourself into?
â perm taglist: @alvojake @ikeuverse @woniebae @shawnyle @kangnina @jwnghyuns @in-somnias-world @zyvlxqht @aaa-sia @wonniethepoo @addictedtohobi @eneiyri @sparklovespink @skzenhalove @fakeuwus @cherry-park @vousty @ladyartemesia @psh9 @cmoundiamante @enhaverse713586 @wondipity @lhsvibez
#yeonzzzn asks#â đȘ anon#jake bby#jake sim#sim jake#sim jaeyun#sim jake smut#sim jaeyun smut#enhypen#enhypen fanfic#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios#enhypen smut#enhypen hard thoughts#ghostface au#enhypen hard hours#yeonzzzn writing#ghostface!jake
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four-tune favours the bold (mv1)
pairing: max verstappen x alonso!reader [smau]
summary: having won his fourth world title, max finds no better time to tell your father that you're dating (and to maybe also get his blessing)
warnings: none (i think)
a/n: now that we finally have M4X (yipeeeeee), can we please get goatlonso back, preferably in the next few years (pls let the newey rocketship work)
[masterlist] [requests]
-> instagram
y/n_priv
liked by fatherofthree, blackdontcrack, inchident_no1 and others
y/n_priv reactions after max told me he had told dad about us (he lied)
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blackdontcrack max stop sending your girlfriend into a heart attack, she's already getting one from your kids
fatherofthree she learnt that one from you and roscoe đ blackdontcrack HEY. my son is very well behaved
notnowinsnomore I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WONT JUST TELL HIM, IT'S NOT THAT HARD MAX
fatherofthree DO YOU WANT TO TELL HIM FOR ME đ€šđ€šđ€š notnowinsnomore NO???? DO YOU THINK I WANT TO DIE??? notnowinsnomore IT'S ALSO YOUR RELATIONSHIP, NOT MINE
honeyhoney you've got to give him like 10 years to process that you're even in the same social sphere as his daughter...good luck man
fatherofthree thanks dan đ fatherofthree padel later? y/n_priv no? we have our date??? đ§đ§đ§ honeyhoney you beating up max now y/nnie? y/n_priv đđ
yourbff_priv babes ditch the men for me đ
y/n_priv yes wifey đ©ââ€ïžâđâđ© fatherofthree @/yourbff_priv stop stealing MY girlfriend yourbff_priv skill issue
fatherofthree
liked by y/n_priv, inchident_no1, notnowinsnomore and others
fatherofthree stopped her from becoming blonde and still got kisses xoxo
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notnowinsnomore that second picture is exactly is what's gonna put you on top of fernando's kill list
fatherofthree no it wont notnowinsnomore yes it will inchident_no1 yes it will blackdontcrack yes it will honeyhoney yes it will ima5starmichelin yes it will buzzlightyear yes it will y/n_priv yes it will fatherofthree ok maybe it will. but fernando doesn't need to know
inchident_no1 your rendition of my heart goes on is truly...
y/n_priv truly what CHARLES? say it with your pussy fatherofthree YEAH WHAT SHE SAID inchident_no1 rubbish đ y/n_priv BOOOOOOO YOU'RE RUBBISH
y/n_priv
liked by fatherofthree, spicysugarbaby, inchident_no1 and others
y/n_priv PUTTING IT ALL ON BLACK! VIVA LAS VEGAS BABY đ€© YOU ARE WELCOME TO JOIN US AT THE MGM UNTIL THURSDAY MORNING @/f1
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inchident_no1 should've bet on red đ wouldn't have lost you 100k
spicysugarbaby agreed đ€ blackdontcrack well i SEVERELY disagree since we won 250k on the next spin on black so.... fatherofthree I LEAVE YOU ALONE WITH THEM FOR 10 MINUTES AND YOU'VE ALREADY BET 250K??? y/n_priv yeah but it's an investment babe đ
antman can i join you guys? đ„șđ„șđ„ș
y/n_priv not yet little kimi, in another three years (i think; i'll take you to the casino then myself âșïž) y/n_priv and yes you too @/we_are_barebears we_are_barebears YESSSSS đ
f1 can i come over pls pls
y/n_priv of course admin â€ïž f1 yay đ
-> messages
-> instagram
yourusername
liked by maxverstappen1, lewishamilton, fernandoalo_oficial and others
yourusername feeling right at home here, dressed and betting on red
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user1 HOLY LORD MOTHER IS FINALLY BACK TO SERVE CUNT IN THE PADDOCK đ„”đ„”đ„”
user2 the sexy spanish alonso genes are real with this one yourusername i would hope so! đ„± user3 istg ive never seen a spanish person look bad in red
user4 GOD REALLY GIVES US Y/N AS AN APOLOGY CAUSE HOW DOES SHE EXIST????
user5 she's literally a goddess on earth user6 the face economy is unreal with her đ yourusername cant just be a nepo baby, gotta make papa proud đ
user7 super hyped for vegas now that you're here with us y/n đ€©
user8 hopefully we see another alonso top 10 (i can copium for a top 6) user9 he will literally dnf everyone if it means y/n gets to see him podium or win again (2023 was literally iconic) yourusername papa will be ready to make stroll do crashgate đ (but i've asked him to refrain for this weekend) user10 ya'll y/n's cooking đđđ
user11 ERM ANYONE GONNA BRING UP PIC 3 CAUSE....
user12 YA'LL GIRLIE I WAS GONNA SAY THE SAME THING user13 who's that @/yourusername đ€š user14 who's that @/yourusername đ€š yourusername no comment đ„șđđ user15 whoever that is do be looking fine affff user16 also probably fearing for his life, considering she's got like ten godfathers and then over twenty drivers ready to bash a man for her đđđ
user17 THE FERRARI AURA IS STRONG WITH THIS ONE đ
fernandoalo_oficial who's that princessa
yourusername i will tell you soon papa đ
maxverstappen1
liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, landonorris and others
maxverstappen1 suited up and ready to take on vegas. đȘ bring on the race đ°
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user18 STILL COOKING WITH A SLIGHTLY COOKED CAR, LETS GET TITLE NUMBER 4 đȘđȘđȘ
user19 literally salivating over pic one, cause he's so fine đ„”
user20 waiting for "2024 fia f1 world champion is max verstappen"
user21 SIMPLY LOVELY PUTTING YOURSELF INTO A STRONG POSITION
user22 getting the ladies i see in pic two đ€Ł
user23 he knows what he wants, and what he's going to get afterwards đ
user24 VIVA LAS VEGASSSSSS, GETTING READY TO RUMBLE
-> twitter
-> irl
as max stepped out of the cockpit of his red bull - his gloved hands trembling slightly - he could feel the relief coursing through him, palpable even under the thick layers of his racing suit and balaclava. the cold autumn air nipped at his damp skin, but he barely noticed, lost in the overwhelming rush of emotions.
after a very, very long season, filled with challenges both in and out of the car, he had finally done itâŠhe had won his fourth world championship.Â
as he stood there under the vegas lights, savoring this triumphant moment in front of the roaring crowd, his thoughts drifted to you.
throughout the year, your presence had always been a beacon amidst the chaos, a constant reminder of what truly mattered to him beyond the roar of engines and the glare of millions of fans. as he ran towards his team, his chest pounding and blood rushing in his ears, he thought of your earlier message, and his heart swelled with affection for you. he knew now was finally the perfect opportunity to share his love for you with the rest of the world.
as you watched max leap into the waiting arms of his jubilant crew, who slapped his back, clapping and cheering, chanting his name, you tried furiously to blink away the tears. your boyfriend had finally achieved his fourth world title, and he was making both of your wishes come true.
walking over to the other drivers, max felt the hand of another behind him. turning around, the butterflies in his stomach heaved once again, coming face to face with your father, fernando alonso. max's exuberant gaze locked onto the figure before him, and as their eyes met, max felt the familiar flutter of nervousness in his chest, a sensation he'd grown accustomed to whenever thinking of you and your father.
"max," fernando greeted him warmly, extending a strong hand. "congratulations. you've earned every bit of this championship." max clapped his hand firmly, trying to hide the slight tremble behind his grin. "thank you, fernando,â
max blushed for a second, as fernando leant up to pinch his cheeks, while also grinning widely at him. as fernando's gaze lingered on max, he thought for a second that he had found out about the two of you, and was instead ready to pull him by the cheek in for a very obvious threat and kick to the balls.
"i must say," fernando began, his tone sincere, "you've shown remarkable resilience this season. much like myself. i hope to see you continue working hard for many years," his words carried a hint of approval.
max swallowed hard, his mind racing, as he opened his mouth to speak.
âi-iâm dating your daughter,â maxâs heart pounded in his chest, the words tumbling from his lips before he could stop them. fernandoâs expression remained jubilant, but there was a glimmer of something unreadable in his eyes. the air between them seemed to crackle with tension.
âiâŠi didnât know she was seeing someone,â fernando said slowly, his voice low and controlled, as he waved to the crowd, whilst pulling max towards the other drivers. there was no denying the facts now â fernando knew about their relationship. and while max couldnât read the older manâs thoughts, he felt a surge of nervous energy course through him. would this revelation change things? between him and fernando?
as if sensing his turmoil, fernando turned back around abruptly, causing max to jump slightly.
fernando studied max intently, his expression unreadable. then, slowly, a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "but i'm glad to hear that it's you max. my daughter deserves nothing less than the best."
with those words, fernando extended his hand once more, this time with a newfound warmth that spoke volumes. max grasped it firmly, sealing a silent pact between them. as they released their grip, fernando placed a hand on max's shoulder, pulling him in. "but listen closely mijo," he said, still grinning but his voice low and conspiratorial, "you mess with my daughter, and i will not hesitate to run you off the track or run you over. if you care for her, then show her that she's your number one priority, both on and off the track."
max felt a chill run down his spine at fernando's warning, but he also sensed a strange kind of respect behind it. this was a man who protected his family fiercely, and max wanted nothing more than to earn his place within that circle.
"yes, sir," he replied fervently, meeting fernando's intense stare head-on. "she is my priority, always. i promise you, i'll do whatever it takes to make her happy and keep her safe." fernando studied him for a long moment, searching for any sign of doubt. finally, he gave a curt nod, releasing max's shoulder.
"alright then," he said, "just remember what i told you. and welcome to the family, officially." as fernando walked away, max took a deep breath, his mind already racing. he glanced around at the celebrating crowd, their faces alight with joy and admiration, and couldn't help but feel a sense of pride swell within him.
but more than anything, max yearned to share this moment with you, to bask in the glow of his victory together and celebrate the love that had sustained him throughout the season. max scanned the bustling crowd, his eyes searching for a glimpse of your familiar features amidst the sea of faces. spotting you lingering nervously near the red bull personnel, he pushed through the throng of people, making a beeline directly for you. as he drew nearer, you couldn't help but notice the look of pure adoration etched across his handsome features. his dark hair was damp with sweat, his broad shoulders still trembling slightly from the exertion of the race. but his eyes shone brightly with triumph and something far warmer - his love for you.
"y/n!" he called out, his voice ringing above the din of the party. pulling you through the celebrating crowd, he wrapped you up in a crushing embrace, lifting you off your feet. you melted into his embrace, pouring every ounce of your joy, pride, and adoration into it.
your laughter mingled with the roar of the crowd as max set you back on your feet, his hands lingering on your waist. he gazed into your eyes, his own shimmering with unshed tears of happiness. in that moment, the rest of the world faded away, leaving only the two of you, suspended in a bubble of pure bliss.
"y/n," max whispered, his voice thick with emotion, "i did it. we did it." he pressed his forehead against yours, savoring the warmth of your skin and the closeness that came with sharing such an intimate moment.
your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer until your lips met in a searing kiss, pouring years of shared dreams and unspoken promises into that single, passionate gesture. the world around them melted away as max lost himself in the taste and feel of your lips, his body molding perfectly against yours. his hands roamed over your curves, tracing the contours he knew so well, as if mapping out the path to your heart.
when you finally broke apart, both panting for air, max rested his forehead against yours, his eyes shining with a mixture of triumph and tenderness. "i want to spend the rest of my life making you feel this way," he murmured, his voice rough with emotion. "i want to wake up every morning with you by my side and fall asleep every night in your arms."
he reached into his pocket, his fingers brushing against the small velvet box that had been burning a hole there since the day he decided to propose. max dropped to one knee, his heart pounding in his chest as he gazed up at you with a look of pure adoration. the crowd around them seemed to hold its collective breath, the anticipation palpable in the air.
with trembling hands, max opened the box, revealing a stunning diamond ring nestled within. the stone glittered under the bright lights of the track, casting glittering cascades of light across your face.
"y/n," max began, his voice steady despite the overwhelming emotions coursing through him, "from the moment we met, you've been the driving force behind everything i've achieved. your love, support, and unwavering belief in me have pushed me to become the best version of myself, both on and off the track."
he paused, swallowing hard as he fought back the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes.
"marry me," max breathed, his voice barely above a whisper. "become my wife. let's race through life together because i want to spend the rest of my life with you, and no one else, i love you,"
with a shaky nod, you sank to your knees before him, cupping his face in your hands as you peppered his cheeks with tender kisses. "yes," you whispered, your voice choked with emotion. "a thousand times yes."
max slid the ring onto your finger, and pulling you up with him to your feet. spinning you around once more, your laughter ringing out like the sweetest melody. the crowd surged forward, enveloping you both in a sea of congratulations and well-wishes, their excitement nearly tangible in the air.
as the celebrations continued around them, max pulled you close, his lips finding yours in a passionate kiss that left no doubt about the depth of his love and commitment. in that moment, surrounded by the people who mattered most, max knew that this was just the beginning of a lifetime of victories, both on and off the track.
-> instagram
yourusername
liked by maxverstappen1, lewishamilton, charles_leclerc and others
yourusername I LOVE LAS VEGAS BABYYYYY đ but in all honesty, i'm so so so proud of you max (more than words or actions could ever express). seeing you grow throughout the past four years into the champion you are today, is more than any gift i could ever receive. there were far more battles and challenges from this season, but you rose above them every time. you are a champion, both on and off the racetrack and you will never be alone in this world, as long as i'm here. keep them coming baby. i love you, forever and always đ§Ą
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maxverstappen1 i love you very much schatje, thank you for always being there for me đ
fernandoalo_oficial i am very happy for the both of you đđ
yourusername thank you papa âșïž promise me you wont shunt into max next race? fernandoalo_oficial no promises sorry princessa đ€
maxverstappen1
liked by landonorris, francolapinto, yourusername and others
maxverstappen1 four time world champion baby!!! a season full of challenges, but with the support, dedication and the effort of the team, this result would not have been possible đ a huge thank you to all involved for this incredible achievement đ
and i just want to say the biggest thank you to the love of my life, my girlfriend of four years, and now my fiancee, y/n alonso. i love you so much, and i can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you (even if your dad wants to run me over now)
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yourusername i love you more than anything else in this world maxie đ§Ą
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