#zuccer

[duckapus]

You Witness a Weeb's Revival

Welony grinned as her two favorite lackeys entered the room while in the middle of their latest argument, “well well well, look who’s finally home.”

Predictably, Kohga immediately stopped what he was doing to grovel, “forgive our tardiness, my Dark Mistress! We would have arrived sooner, but he caused our mission to take longer than expected!”

“Wha-me?! I did most of the work! Do you know how hard it is to search an entire exploded island, even with the water-breathing powers my mask gave me? You barely even got out of the boat!”

“I told you, I’m a weak swimmer! It comes from living in the desert!”

“Enough!” as amusing as they were, she had work to do, “it doesn’t matter how long it took as long as you got what we need. So did you?”

Byte smirked and gave a sweeping gesture towards the door with his right hand, “one mangled chameleon corpse, as requested.”

Right on cue, a quartet of Yiga Footsoldiers wheeled in a large cart that held a horrific, twisted mass of metal, glass, and charred, shattered, bleached bone. Though it was unrecognizable and very, very dead, Welony could feel the hatred and malice emanating from it.

“Oh yes, this will do nicely. Prepare the ritual!”

-----------------

In a few minutes, the entire Clan had assembled at a large altar, and were creating a massive pile of assorted anime merchandise, boxes full of printed out fanfics, and even actual dvds and manga collections, along with some Mighty Bananas because of course they would. Set between the pile and a podium at the front of the altar was the corpse that Kohga and Byte had brought in, surrounded by candles lit with purple flames.

After the pile had reached a size Welony was satisfied with, she held up her hand, “Arrange the sacrifices!”

At that, three teletubbies, dressed as Sasuke, Hatsune Miku, and a catgirl maid, were led out while bound in ominously glowing chains and set around the pile at roughly the points of an equilateral triangle.

“And now, for the final piece,” this, she would do herself.

She floated up to the peak of the pile, placing one last item; an unopened physical copy of the Collector’s Edition of Kevin’s School, then went to the podium, where Master Kohga stood on her right side and Byte on her left.

“Now, let us begin.”

On cue, a Yiga Clan member who was quite conspicuously a default TF2 Pyro with a Yiga mask glued to their gas mask hefted their flamethrower and set the pile of offerings ablaze. Two of the teletubbies started screaming in agony, while the catgirl maid one was seemingly unphased.

“This is fine.”

As the offerings burned, the assembled Yiga Clan Members circled the fire and began to chant in order to strengthen their dark mistress’s already formidable powers.

“Fruit Salad, Yummy Yummy. Fruit Salad, Yummy Yummy…”

And so it went as Welony began to glow an ominous red, raising her hands to the corpse and pouring her power into it.

“HEAR ME VENGEFUL SPIRIT! I HAVE OPENED A CHANNEL TO THE LIVING REALM! RETURN TO YOUR EARTHLY VESSEL AND SERVE ME, AND YOU SHALL HAVE YOUR REVENGE!”

In answer to her calls, the corpse rose into the air, and both it and the bonfire were quickly engulfed in blinding white light. Catgirl teletubby was still unconcerned despite being reduced to a flaming skeleton in a cute dress at this point.

“I am okay with the events that are transpiring.”

Eventually it was too much and the group shielded their eyes from the glow, which then died down as quickly as it came. And when they did look, they saw that both the corpse and the offerings had been replaced by a hulking, skeletal figure.

It was clear from the body shape and pixelated art style that this had, at one point, been Francis. However, he was now several times his original size and just as picked clean of flesh as he had been moments ago. He was augmented with a variety of mechanical components, most prominently a wide array of different weapons mounted on his arms and tail, a vacuum tube running from the back of his head to the inside of his left hand, and two parallel rows of Splatoon-style Ink Tanks running down his spine. Both his eye sockets and a pulsing orb in his ribcage glowed dark purple. A Zelda-style Boss Caption appeared before him.

The Incel’s Vengeance

Stal-Zuccer

He leered down at the watermelon girl who had summoned him, and for a moment it looked as though he might attack her…before he ultimately kneeled, “SEN…PAI…”

Welony’s mouth stretched into a wide, sadistic grin, “Boys, how do you feel about a trip to the Splatlands?”

Kohga erupted into evil laughter, while Byte simply smirked, “I’ll pack my bags.”

[supersmashsoni]

Octoposse Tari AU

Around 2016, Tari goes to Inkopolis for some event and visits an arcade and plays a shooting game. While there, her skills are noticed by Desti who gives her the offer to join the Octoposse. While relucent Tari accepts the offer and moves to Inkopolis.

While Tari struggles at first due to her lack of athletic ability, she eventually gets the hang of it due to the same game logic as in canon. In exchange, Tari starts to show Desti that there is more to life than winning. This, however, starts a rift between the two and the rest of the Octoposse, who feel Desti is losing sight of their victory. Things come to a head after "If Mario was in Splatoon 2?" where the Octoposse decide that Desti doesn't care about them after trying to recruit Mario (Tari was elsewhere at the time). This leaves Tari and Desti desperate for new teammates.

Tari goes to the Mushroom Kingdom to pick up a game and winds up meeting Mario who asks her to teach him how to be a better gamer like in canon. Tari decides to teach him in hopes of convincing Mario to join her and Desti. Desti is in full approval of this plan.

Things go about the same as canon, just with a more distant Tari.

That is until Bob drops his diss track, resulting in Desti showing up to beat him up for insulting her best friend. This exposes their connection to the crew, and that Tari had been trying to recruit Mario. This leads to a furious Meggy breaking their friendship, which hurts Tari more than the gamer expected. Desti meanwhile only becomes more aggressive towards Meggy.

Tari and Desti have a few smaller roles, before getting involved in the Anime Arc when Desti is a suspect in Meggy's disappearance. The two join the rescue mission, and things play out the same.

Until the Sephiroth fight...

Tari and Desti stick by each other during the fight, and Tari sees the second Sephiroth and pushes Desti out of the way, but her Meta Runner arm is damaged in the process.

So Desti lives!

However, Francis is more focused on killing the crew and is more aggressive, which damages the Ink Zuccer. Because of this, when the Ink Zuccer explodes, it is more destructive...and Meggy doesn't make it.

(Francis makes it on to the boat, only to be killed by a grieving and furious Mario).

The crew are heartbroken by this. Desti regrets the way she treated Meggy, and Tari feels extremely guilty about going being Meggy's back. The two decided to win the last Splatfest in Meggy's honor.

Meggy's spirit talks to Desti and says she forgives her and Tari. The two soon move to the Mushroom Kingdom, due to the new anti-human laws. As the years go on, the two start to fall for each other, and start dating in late 2021.

Minor Notes for Later In the Timeline:

Desti encounters past Meggy while trying to stop SMG3's plan to delete the crew and is freaked out by it.

Desti and Kaizo are chaotic friends.

Desti gets a redesign at the end of the Lawsuit Arc. She's still an Octoling, but her jacket becomes a blue, striped vest and her tentacles change appearance, so she is Legally Distinct. She also gets a fang, just because that is cool.

Western Spaghetti would be very different as I don't know if Desti would look up to Wren.

I like the idea of Desti being a former soldier in the Octoling military. Puzzles might bring that side out through something like the keyboard to get her to work for him.

[forthedancingandthethriving]

Had an interesting idea about how Computer Hell functions. Basically, any inmates that got there by dying... technically don't have physical bodies. They're not quite ghosts, but the bodies we see them with are actually physical manifestations of their souls' code that happen to look how they remember looking when they were alive. As a consequence if they die again in that state they'll pass on for good. If someone performs necromancy to summon their soul and put it in a vessel (like Francis as the Stal-Zuccer or Lady Rose's zombie form in that one alternate future timeline) it gets rid of the issue for as long as that vessel stays alive (as evidenced by Francis still existing), but just leaving Computer Hell as they are (like what's going to happen during the Abyss's jailbreak in the Vacation Arc) doesn't. Obviously inmates that are still alive like Andrew and Marianne don't have that problem since they still have real bodies.

Follow-up idea: Rose doesn't know she's dead. That's because she wasn't supposed to be, since she was dragged there through a portal, but Antivirus was pissed off from witnessing the tail end of the fight and was rougher with her than he needed to be (or probably should've been) and she died in transit. Her current form is affected by her belief that she's still alive, so it changes in a way that almost but not quite perfectly emulates the rate she should be ageing, acts as though she needs to sleep, eat, breathe, and go to the bathroom, and simulates a heart beating and the resulting activity in the circulatory system (so she has a pulse). Given how much control she's exerting over her "body," even if it's currently all subconscious, things could get interesting when she inevitably learns the truth.

Antivirus knows she'd dead, and that she thinks she isn't. He just doesn't think it matters enough to correct her.

Ooooh!! I like that a lot.. ooh so neat.

[megacandy420]

My Smg4 arc villains tier list

D: Smg3, Bob and Smg4…

Smg3: Smg3 yes… did delete the gitch crew in 'Deleted' but SMG4 decides to destroy SMG3's entire studio in 'Mario's Spicy Day'. SMG3 even points out he wasn't doing anything evil so I always felt kinda bad for him.

Bob: Bob just abandoned his friends to become a rapper… while he was a jackass… he was still pretty meh in my honest opinion.

Smg4: The meme maestro himself… Due to the pressure of being a content creator he slowly loses his mind to create the 'perfect' video and unintentionally hurts his friends… the reason I added him is because despite how long it takes him and his team to make these videos, in addition to running a whole animation studio, he's constantly being bombarded with hate comments from ignorant people. One observer pointed out that this would only make SMG4 more obsessed to make his perfect video truly perfect.

C: Waluigi and Niles…

Waluigi: The first true arc villain… I put him here because while pretty dangerous… he was too easily redeemed… But I did enjoy Wario character development in the end.

Niles: The true evil behind Eldritch Zero… he's here because he basically the saying: the road to hell is paved with good intentions as people who believe they are doing good can end up doing bad and a well-intentioned extremist.

B: Eldritch Zero and Lawyer Kong…

Eldritch Zero: The big bad of the Genesis Arc… Almost destroyed the entire Smg4 world, almost killed Mario, destroyed Smg1 and Smg2 world after he killed their avatar Spudnick (Rip Spudnick) and killed my favorite character Axol (Rip Axol)… but the reason I put him here's because he is two people… the true Smg0 (Rip Smg0) and Niles (Rip Niles)…

Lawyer Kong: He's a corrupt, vindictive scumbag who takes advantage of the law to get what he wants and isn't above using dirty tricks to do it. Over the course of the Lawsuit Arc, he isolates all non-Nintendo characters from the Mushroom Kingdom and brainwashes any Nintendo character into their canon self, and later resorts to what is essentially genocide just to get rid of SMG4's channel… I hate him… still he's better You know who…

A: Francis…

Francis: This piece of shit! He's a dorky, nerdy and silly-looking chameleon who leads a group of otakus. He also instigated the plan to kidnap half of Inkopolis and manages to power up Ink Weaver to 70%, where Axol only manages 50% with the help of Meggy, and by himself only used 5%... His plan means genocide of the Inklings and octolings and he actually killed another character (Rip Desti). Oh, and he was the first Arc Villain who didn't pull a Heel–Face Turn and died instead… he definitely deserved to be disposed of in his own Ink-Zuccer by Saiko. The irony here is two-fold. Saiko was someone he listened to and went out of his way to protect before going mad with power, and the Ink-Zuccer was the terrible machine he used to extract ink from all the Inklings he captured.

S: The God Box…

The God Box: A mysterious artifact containing both power and destruction… To me… The God Box is the true villain of Smg4… as it's what bestows Niles with the power that ends up causing the series-spanning strife in the first place. It created Niles and then killed Smg0 and Niles avatar Fred (Rip Fred)... in the real world. Is a by-product of this; to a normal person, it’s just a box full of Luke's old broken PC parts. To the cast of SMG4, it’s a world full of fragments of destroyed universes thanks to being used by the creator of their world.

[guywhoconfirmsthings]

Can confirm

I can confirm that Vampire propaganda works so well because all it does is make attempts to subtly reaffirm the opinion that vampires don’t exist and so there’s nothing to worry about. I can also confirm that The Matrix is a cryptic recruitment video for the vampire illuminati and you can’t change my mind.

[wicked-witch-of-the-wild-west]

leT'S

FUCKIN'

GOOOOOOOOOOO!

LET'S FUCKING GO

[bunglepaws]

My google image search for Bratty and Catty’s quote turned really weird so I had to make the images more on-topic

[zucca101]

"All of the possible points against the left"? Funny, all the things listed in the article are things generally only used by fascists and their allies/useful idiots, there's plenty of legitimate criticisms even I could think of of the Left that don't dive into any of what's listed there. Maybe it's you, Zuccers.

Not all the things.

But if you took out what’s listed there, it removes the principle of some solid points.

For instance: there is a very passive-aggressive mentality in pop culture towards white people right now. And all it’s ever going to do is give real neo-nazis a reason to bitch, moan and complain.

I don’t want Nazis, Fascists, Communists or Socialists in power.

They can all go eat shit and die for all I care.

[duckapus]

AU where Meggy gets turned into a Boo instead of a Human at the end of the Anime Arc

...because she FUCKING DIES!!!

Shaggy manages to retrieve her body, but she full-on, straight-up died due to the Ink Zuccer 2000 draining her nearly dry and then getting destroyed with her still inside. And then she shows up as a Boo a few days later, very confused because apparently she didn't know that some Boos are actual spirit-of-dead-people ghosts and thought that if she ended up as a ghost it'd be a more conventional one. In her defense most modern-day Boos really are born that way without ever being dead people and they're considered a species.

Due to being a dead-person Boo instead of a born-that-way Boo, she has some of the abilities she did in life. Namely, she can still produce ink, change her Ink color, and unlike her canon human form she still kinda-sorta has a swim form (basically she can meld with surfaces like a Stretch (the Boo variants that move along platforms) and can phase into Ink the same color as hers) and can even Superjump and use Specials. Similar to Boos in the Mario Sports games, she's still fully allowed to participate in Inksports as long as she doesn't abuse her invisibility, intangibility, and levitation abilities.

You'd think that would mean she's got less to deal with than canon Meggy, but keep in mind that she still has to deal with 1) the trauma from dying, 2) the trauma from everything else that happened on Anime Island, and 3) the fact that her body is now shaped like this

So yeah still not having a great time!

Also, the fact that she's now a Mario character doesn't protect her from Lawyer Kong declaring her an OC because she's got a unique design (since she ended up with some of canon human Meggy's features (particularly the swoopy bangs and dangly sideburn things), still has her headgear, and is orange). I mean, if the recolors got kicked out when they clearly have only slightly modified Official Nintendo Models, why wouldn't she?

[my-friends-are-living-textposts]

EC: zuccerberg is a robot so he must have a big zuccer

[forthedancingandthethriving]

So you know how Lady Rose keeps trying to escape Computer Hell, despite the fact that necromancy is the only realistic way out (at least if you're not god-tier) and she can't use it because she's not dead, because she's incapable of ever admitting when she's lost? Yeah, I figure that Andrew would be the same way considering the events that led to him getting locked in there in the first place, to the point that between their other similarities they end up in an alliance of (in)convenience, with each one planning to backstab the other in the end and thinking they're so much cleverer than their oh-so trusting "partner."

Watching these two idiots trip over each-other's egos right into Antivirus's security measures is the best entertainment Francis has had since the few hours he spent as Stal-Zuccer back when Welony was still evil.

THIS WAY TOO FUNNY, AND I ACCEPT IT AS CANON. Because of course they'd do this. Their egos are too big to even imagine that the other is smarter than them, and couldn't possibly have their own plan. It's probably really amusing for Antivirus to watch it as well, gets a chuckle out of him.

[bambaiyya]

the love react on facebook is actually really beautiful and this is the only way in which mark zuccerberg has zucced me bc i am zuccer for that lovely love react!

[lukasequalszero]

gay blood zuccer

my vampire son whomst I love

[quotesthebestof]

The Zuccer has got Zucc’d http://bit.ly/2GhnflA

[alimentazioni]

Salute, le bibite zuccherate fanno invecchiare il cervello, rischi anche per quelle diet http://www.diggita.it/v.php?id=1592007

[whatareyoumadeofmandy]

Zuccers ????????