A/N: For the Crystallize zine! I have no smut skills or I’d write the angst smut after this.
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Of all the places Tartaglia expected to find Emperor Zhongli the night before his birthday, sitting in a pavilion with a cup of baijiu in one hand and a red soldier piece in the other was not one of them. In the late hour, the golden sweeping roof looked like burnished bronze, the cherry-red pillars like dying embers. A sliver of silver moonlight bathed Zhongli, giving him an ethereal glow as he set the soldier on the xiangqi board beside him.
For a moment, Tartaglia stood stock still at the threshold, unable to break the scene in front of him. Rain drizzled lightly around them, a moon shower that did little to hide the stars. The emperor’s robes flowed around him like a flower’s petals.
Zhongli looked over his shoulder, a welcoming smile on his lips. “Oh, there you are.”
The spell broke, and Tartaglia padded over to the king. Smirking, he asked, “Oh, you were expecting me?”
“Why wouldn’t I?” Befuddled, Zhongli placed a second cup next to the xiangqi board. “You come every night.”
It was silly, really, how that second cup made Tartaglia happy. It was a simple sense of expectation, of routine, of someone waiting for him. He sat down and took a sip to hide his growing grin. “So I’m becoming predictable, got it.”
Zhongli regarded him with dark eyes and shook his head. “I could call you many things, but predictable is not one of them, Childe.”
Childe. The sound of his alias was like a splash of cold water. Tartaglia lowered his eyes, studying the clear baijiu in the delicate ivory cup. Maybe he should take his own words more seriously. He was becoming predictable. He was falling into a routine.
He was a spy. It was the one fact he wasn’t allowed to forget. It was the one fact that he couldn’t escape. These nightly visits were just for gathering information. They weren’t supposed to be a highlight in his day, something he looked forward to as he skulked around the palace.
At some point, Childe had started to sound like his real name.
At some point, he had stopped looking at Zhongli as a target.
At no point was any of this permitted. Forcing a chuckle, Tartaglia changed the topic and pointed at the board. “Is it really that fun playing by yourself?”
“It was a good way to organize my thoughts.” Zhongli picked up a red cannon and moved it down two spaces. “You can play the other side now.”
“Don’t come crying when I win,” Tartaglia teased, forcing a levity he didn’t feel. It felt natural sitting and talking like this, with only the moon as their witness.
“Why would I cry?” Zhongli cocked his head, confused. When they’d first met, Tartaglia had thought it was an act, that no one could be that oblivious. Then he’d realized that despite the emperor’s intelligence, his social awareness was worse than a toddler’s.
“Never mind.” Tartaglia studied the xiangqi board; the game was only five moves in. The pieces looked haphazardly placed. Whatever was on Zhongli’s mind, it was serious. “I thought you’d rest early tonight. Tomorrow’s a big day, right?”
“It is?” Zhongli stared blankly before his lips formed a soft ‘o’. “It’s your birthday.”
The laugh that burst out of Tartaglia was real. “It’s your birthday.”
“Right. I should remember that.” Zhongli rubbed his chin. “That is a big day.”
“Why does it sound like you’re asking a question?” Tartaglia murmured, shaking his head.
Tomorrow was a big day in many ways. A birthday. The Tsaritsa’s invasion. He’d thought it’d be ironic before, to overthrow Liyue on a frivolous emperor’s birthday. Now it was just tragic. He should never have started these nightly sessions. Regret was a heavy thing and he didn’t want to carry it.
“Anything you want?” Tartaglia asked, pushing aside his thoughts. He was thinking too much today. “Something manageable for a guard.”
“Managing…” Zhongli pursed his lips and looked at the moon. “I suppose that’s why I’m awake.”
“To manage something? You know, if you wanted to stay up, you could have just asked. I know better ways to spend the night.” Tartaglia waggled his eyebrows.
Zhongli stared at him for a second before realization dawned, his ears turning a soft red at the idea. Tartaglia grinned wickedly. If there was one thing he never tired of, it was flirting with the usually impassive emperor. It was impossible to guess how he’d react, only that it’d be interesting.
Clearing his throat, Zhongli shook his head. “No, that…that’s fine. I was just…” He lowered his gaze to his baijiu, studying the moonlight reflected in it. “Lumine and Aether showed me the town today.”
The twins. The only possible wrench in the Tsaritsa’s plans. No one really understood where the pair had come from but everyone knew that their strength was nothing to be laughed at.
“And, how was it?” Tartaglia asked lightly, moving a soldier forward. “See something you want for your birthday?”
“There were a lot of things I wanted, but Aether refused to let me buy anything,” Zhongli replied, sounding put out as he moved his advisor. “He said no one actually buys an entire store.”
Tartaglia snickered. Those were exactly the kind of problems he’d expected. He moved his advisor as well. “So that’s what’s wrong?”
“No, it was…” Zhongli’s hand hovered over his piece. “Management. I did not realize the state of my citizens. It is different to receive reports here than it is to go down there and see it for myself.”
Part of him wished that Zhongli could have stayed oblivious till the end, secure in the belief that he had done his best for his people. Tartaglia looked away. “Is it that different?” he asked, pretending he wasn’t fully aware of the corruption that flowed freely under the emperor’s rule. As though he hadn’t made it worse, pushing the Tsaritsa’s money and influence into the cracks he found, until Liyue’s people were split between wanting to protect their oblivious emperor and wanting to overthrow him. A divided nation was easy to conquer, and the Tsaritsa never liked to leave things to chance.
“Extremely.” Zhongli frowned, crossing his arms. “Food prices are higher than I had planned. There are ruffians stealing goods. The poor are not receiving enough help. I thought I had made the right laws and contracts, but I must have made a mistake somewhere.”
“Someone else could have made the mistake,” Tartaglia countered, not liking how Zhongli’s expression had darkened with each statement. He raised his cup, letting the alcohol burn a path down his throat.
“Perhaps, but I am the emperor. In exchange for my power, I must make sure my people are taken care of.” Zhongli hummed thoughtfully, his fingers drumming his thigh. “I will have to correct this.”
In another world, Zhongli would have succeeded, Tartaglia was sure. But in this one, factors beyond Zhongli’s comprehension were at work. In this one, it would take more than good faith and trust to keep the flames of revolution at bay.
“I’m sure you will,” he lied. He dug his fingers in his thighs. “Did you see anything you liked, or did the twins only show you the worst parts of town?”
“Anything I liked…” Zhongli rubbed his chin, considering the question. “I did like the lanterns and flower wreaths they made for tomorrow. I wonder if I can make them myself.”
It was an amusing image, Zhongli with a look of intense concentration as he put together a lantern. More likely than not, he’d get it entirely wrong. Tartaglia cracked a smile. “I doubt it.”
“You never know.” Zhongli’s expression finally brightened. “We should go see them tomorrow.”
“Oh?” It was all too easy to flirt, to tease, and Tartaglia fell back into familiar patterns. “Like a date?”
“Yes, a date,” Zhongli confirmed easily, without even taking a second to think about it. “That is the right word for it. Will you go on one with me?”
Now it was his turn to flush. Rubbing his ear, Tartaglia mumbled, “We would need a disguise.”
“I suppose. Lumine said that today too before we left.” Zhongli sipped his baijiu. “We could use the same disguise again tomorrow. I will be Rex Lapis.”
“Rex Lapis?” Tartaglia snorted. “That’s what Lumine came up with?”
“No, that was Aether’s suggestion.” He cocked his head. “You do not approve?”
“No, no, it’s…fine. One name is as good as any other.” Tartaglia wondered how well the trip had actually gone. It was hard enough to catch Zhongli’s attention when one called his real name—using a fake one must have been near impossible. Add in his odd ticks and well…it was impressive he had never gotten caught.
Pleased, Zhongli moved his elephant across the board. By now, the xiangqi game was perfunctory. “We will need a name for you, as well.”
He didn’t think, didn’t stop to consider the consequences before he breathed, “Ajax.”
It was a risk. A foolish, stupid risk.
It was the only time, the only chance he had to hear his real name roll off Zhongli’s lips instead of the moniker forced onto him by a distant ruler.
Zhongli didn’t notice his reaction. He nodded. “Ajax. That’s a good name.”
Tartaglia’s breath hitched. Speechless and unable to handle Zhongli’s warm eyes, he stared at his cup. His murky reflection smiled back.
He wanted to hear it again. He wanted to never stop hearing it.
They both fell into silence. The moon continued its steady rise, the night breeze rustled through the trees. Somewhere, cicadas buzzed and crickets chirped. The xiangqi game continued, though Tartaglia didn’t know which pieces he moved. His mind was stuck on a single moment, a single word.
“Oh, I know.” Zhongli set down his now empty cup. “You.”
This broke through his thoughts and Tartaglia finally lifted his head. “Me?” he repeated, bewildered.
“A gift you can afford, Childe. A gift that I want.” Zhongli interlaced their hands, squeezing lightly. “You.”
That simple declaration left him speechless. Zhongli’s hand was warm, his grip steady. Tartaglia should pull away, should step back—tomorrow, the emperor’s blood would be on his hands and no one would call him Childe anymore, no one would quietly kiss him behind the pillars or invite him for moonlit drinks.
Tartaglia was stuck in the web he spun, unable to break out.
At some point, he had started to fall for his own lies.
At some point, he had started to fall for Zhongli.
But it was too late for love and far too late to back out. Zhongli’s hands would only be warm tonight, his smile would remain only for the next few hours. Either he’d die or he’d never look at him the same.
“Let me give you an early gift then,” Tartaglia whispered, his voice thick with emotion. He leaned forward, knocking the pieces off the board as he kissed Zhongli, as he pushed him down and pinned him in place.
There was some small hope that Zhongli would survive. The twins could protect him. His guards could help him escape. The Tsaritsa didn’t need his death to succeed, just his empire. Zhongli could live in exile.
He’d never look at Tartaglia the same. Tartaglia swallowed. There would be no love in his voice after tomorrow. And that was all assuming the Tsaritsa’s carefully woven plans somehow fell through, that Zhongli managed to escape the destruction with his life.
A new sense of urgency filled him and Tartaglia broke their kiss. Brushing Zhongli’s ear with his lips, he mouthed the words he couldn’t say aloud, the feelings he wished he could have denied.
Before Zhongli could respond, Tartaglia crushed his lips in another kiss.
Just for tonight, he would be Childe. Just for tonight, he didn’t want the sun to rise.
Just for tonight, he would dream of a happy ending.
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Grymas Zwany Uśmiechem I A Grimace Called A Smile
Windowlicker Gallery, 03.08 - 31.08.2024, Warsaw, Poland
Opening: 3.08.2024, 13 - 16:30, pavillon nr 40, Nowy Bazar Różyckiego, Targowa 54, Warsaw
Artists: Andres Larraín Araneda, Katarzyna Bialik, Kornelia Bolechala, Basia Budniak, Adam Durjasz, Jakub Dziewit, Sonia Góral, Jadwiga Janowska, Amelia Jawień, Jakub Kostewicz, Wojtek Kutyła, Karolina Maliszewska, Jagoda Malanin, Jakub Pasek, Katarzyna Rogoża-Pochylska, Edyta Rybak, Wioletta Rzepa, Grażyna Siedlecka, Anna Solecka, Milena Soporowska, Aleksandra Szlęk, Justyna Warwas, Marta Życińska
Event organized by Windowlicker & Fresh From Poland
Download the printable zine HERE.
Curator: Grażyna Siedlecka in collaboration with Milena Soporowska
It is commonly believed that laughter is an expression of happiness; laughter is health and a recipe for a fulfilled life. But is that really true?
Few philosophers have written about humor; and when they have, they have rarely spoken positively about it. Plato complained that laughter weakens self-control, and he traced its source to malice. Aristotle considered every joke to be a form of mockery. The Bible also criticizes hilarity: “Woe to you who laugh now, for you shall mourn and weep” (Luke 6:25). John Chrysostom wrote: “Laughter and jesting do not seem to be sinful, but they lead to sin.” The superiority theory—one of the three most popular theories of the philosophy of humor, along with the relief theory and the inconsistency theory—is not sparing in its criticism: it assumes that we find something funny because we feel superior to it (Hobbes, Descartes, Scruton).
The exhibition visually explores this grim side of a smile in times of fashion for flaunting humor and hiding negative emotions.
"Sudden glory is the passion which maketh those grimaces called laughter; and is caused either by some sudden act of their own that pleaseth them; or by the apprehension of some deformed thing in another, by comparison whereof they suddenly applaud themselves."
Thomas Hobbes, "Leviathan"
The exhibition is part of Grażyna Siedlecka's long-term curatorial research on the relationship between laughter, humour and visual arts.
Graphic based on the artwork of Amelia Jawień.
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Windowlicker is an experimental exhibition space.
The pavilion acts as something between a gallery and an esoteric stall, thus referring to the tradition of bazaar fortune tellers. You can drop in for an exhibition, but also for a consultation, or read various publications on esotericism, zines, and photography books, and… look at unusual tarot decks.
The name Windowlicker comes from the English idiom "window licking" (window shopping) and the French "lèche-vitrine". Loosely translated, it means “licking shop windows”, which means looking at shop windows but ultimately not buying anything.
The space is run by two creative people: Milena Soporowska (@milsopo) and Piotrek Sobiecki, who performs under the pseudonym Lotus Reaction (@lotus_reaction).
More information:
🔗https://www.instagram.com/vvindovv.licker/
🔗https://milsopo.tumblr.com/…/windowlicker-exhibition…
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WINDOWLICKER - exhibition space in Nowy Bazar Różyckiego in Warsaw
Windowlicker is an experimental exhibition space in one of the pavilions in Nowy Bazar Różyckiego in Warsaw. The area of the Nowy Bazar Różycki is in the neighbourhood of the so-called Różyc, one of the oldest marketplaces in Warsaw, founded in Praga Północ district by Julian Różycki in the 1880s.
More information:
Instagram: @vvindovv.licker
Facebook: @vvind0vvlicker
The pavilion serves as something between a gallery and an esoteric market stall, thus referring to the tradition of bazaar fortune tellers, whose presence at the market is confirmed by native inhabitants of Praga district. Fortune telling, as a popular folk practice, is an important part of the urban folklore.
Its location and form of the pavilions question the concept of a traditional gallery or art studio, thus asking about the role of art and the artist.
The name Windowlicker comes from the English idiom window licking (window shopping) and the French lèche-vitrine, loosely translated to licking shop windows, which means looking at shop windows, but ultimately not buying anything.
The name emphasizes both the non-commercial nature of the space within the market and refers to the glass walls that allow viewing the exhibited works without having to go inside.
It serves as:
a gallery/showroom
a library/reading room
a place for a meeting/lecture
The inauguration of the exhibition pavilion was the Abracadabra exhibition in July 2023 by Milena Soporowska and Śomi Śniegocka, presenting their projects regarding modern esotericism.
The exhibition was accompanied by the premiere of a zine/small publication under the same title, presenting commissioned works by: Milena Soporoska @milsopo | Śomi Śniegocka @somi.sni | Barbara Janczak @morf.st | Marta Kudelska | Agnieszka Piksa @agnieszka.piksa | and Eli Wysakowska-Walters.
The space is run by two creators: Milena Soporowska and Piotrek Sobiecki performing under the pseudonym Lotus Reaction.
Photos by Milena Soporowska.
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The Awesome ALA Conference!
I had an incredible experience tabling at the annual American Library Association (ALA) Conference! I was with my friends' collective Strange Deer Press at the Zine Pavilion. This was a super cool opportunity for local Chicago zinesters to sell their wares to librarians and get into the conference for free!
The ALA Conference was unlike any con or expo I've been to.
It's a major event for the library industry. Librarians from all across the country were in attendance. Major book publishers like Macmillan, Hatchette and Simon & Schuster had huge booths stuffed with books - including ARCs you could pick up for free, no questions asked! I got ARCs of books on my Kindle wishlist that won't be published until later this year, which is so freaking cool.
Major literature publishers weren't the only ones there. We saw small presses and imprints, comic giants like DC, Image and IDW, NASA and the Library of Congress, even a small artist's alley for comics and artwork (though unlike the zine pavilion, I believe there was a fee to show in the artist's alley). I'm not even including the vendors of library technologies, furniture or electronic services.
Besides booths, there were various event stages were talks were being given, author signings to line up for and even a gaming area with D&D, Magic and other board games (I joined a family and we made good progress on a puzzle). McCormick Place is a huge warren of rooms and halls. Even though the show floor was massive, I felt like we only scratched the surface of the venue's real estate.
The Zine Pavilion itself would be familiar to anyone who's shown at art shows before. There were about 15 tables, a small presentation area and a library of zines from people not at the event. Our group of five easily covered all our table with our own work, as well as free zines from the prison abolition group Study and Struggle.
(I'm not great at taking pictures, so it didn't occur to me that my usual camera smile would've been hidden by my mask XD)
Lots of librarians were interested in learning about zines. I think libraries are looking for new ways to engage teen and young adult audiences, and zines are a great art form for that age group. Lee's zine their about cats was a huge hit with this crowd as well; librarians and cats seem to go together.
For this event, I made a zine called Books I Didn't Write. It's a collection of interesting-sound novel ideas that I've had over the last decade, followed by a very honest write-up of why they would've have worked. I also had two mental health zines.
It's a shame this event won't be in Chicago next year, because it was an absolute blast and comes highly recommended. Thanks so much to Violet Fox for organizing the Zine Pavilion!
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