#youtubes a dick

[onnahu]

Batfam but make them youtubers - their most popular videos

Bruce: How To Get Your Own Child - sex not required

Alfred: Family Dinner Vlog (everyone's alive)

Kate: How to get a girlfriend in 8 steps - tutorial

Dick: I'm not like my dad, haters!

Babs: wtf Gotham - a compilation

Jason: how to sever 8 heads in 30 minutes (hypothetically)

Cass: go scare the shit out of people with me

Tim: how I became Batman's therapist

Steph: looking for my ex's spleen day 179

Damian: stealing the batmobile pt. 82

Duke: how i became a gang leader at 13

[feyinvestigations]

Tweeting during lunch

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Masterlist

Tag List under the cut!

If you want to be added to the tag list, please lmk on the masterpost!

Tag List @desicanary // @thegayseance // @soaring-through-the-stars // @thebat-musicman // @percyyeuss // @pathofglory // @andreaissy // @themiraculousec

[girlwiththegreenhat]

team fortress 2 finally getting rid of the bots after 5 years

work on the team fortress 2 comic continuing after 7+ years

half life 3 development looking more likely than ever with legitimate code, file, and voicework leaks referencing a new non-VR single-player game from valve featuring a HEV suit wearing protagonist and Xen creatures and concepts

shoutout to the valve fan that found the genie lamp. you a real one

[sreppub]

gotham knights brothers enjoying PSL season

[sillysealll]

Felt silly today

[starry-bi-sky]

i have been unmedicated for the entirety of spring break and thus have had little interest in writing this down, but i have been thinking about this for the entire week (as well as a dpdc clone danny au that resulted in it becoming its entirely separate batman au that includes a teenage vigilante bruce wayne, an ocarina, and me entirely incapable of making a batman au without making bruce dirt poor but we're not talking about that) and so i've finally went 'fuck it' and forcibly grabbed my laptop. I will get this done in one sitting even if it kills me.

BUT. This is about neither clone^2 danny nor about who i am calling Ocarina Batman. This is about my Danyal Al Ghul Au and more SPECIFICALLY it's me thinking about his relationship with Sam and Tucker specifically.

Tucker and Sam? Adore this asshole (affectionate) with every fiber of their being. And it is very much a reciprocated feeling, but Danny's thoughts will not be delved into much other than he would kill for them.

Tucker? The only person currently capable of getting a deep, loud, belly laugh out of Danny. Sam can get him to smile and to laugh, but it's the kind that's a chuckle-under-the-breath. The quiet, looks-down-while-huffing laughter. Snorts once with laughter and then grins stupidly.

But Tucker? Tucker can crack a slew of stupid jokes and Danny will be incapacitated for the next five minutes because he's laughing so hard that he can't breath. He lands one well-timed pun or quip and Danny will be close to tears. His laughter is their favorite sound in the whole world.

Sam is lowkey jealous of this ability, and she's gotten a belly laugh out of Danny a few times. But alas, it is Tucker who wields this power and has gotten it the most times out of the two of them.

-

They're also both physically affectionate with Danny as much as possible. It started roughly around when they were 12-ish, a year since they befriended Danny, and they noticed that he sought after touch but never seemed to initiate (and was in some ways repulsed by it). They started slowly being more touchy with him. Hooking a finger around his to lead him somewhere, tapping his wrist, looping arms. Little touches, grabs, etc, to get him used to it, and once he started doing it back they started increasing it.

It's gotten to a point where he will now just. Lay on them. Like a lizard sunbathing on a rock. Leaning on their backs when they're sitting in class before the bell rings, his chin on their heads. He'll talk about anything with his arms looped around their shoulders.

If they're sitting on a couch at either of their houses, he'll lay his legs on theirs. Him and Tucker will press their feet against the other's and try and push against them (newsflash: Danny always wins, Tucker claims its the ghost strength but Danny's been winning since before his accident)

-

Naturally, both Sam and Tucker know where Danny keeps his weapons on his person, and are allowed to grab them off of him if they need it. His only requirement is that they don't lose his weapons if they take it and forget to return it immediately.

They both understand how big of a thing this is from Danny, and so they do their best to treat his weapons with a lot of respect and care because they know its his way of saying he trusts them.

-

Sam and Tucker are so fond of Danny it's insane. Like fr. That's their goddamn best friend, and they are so protective of him. Emotionally, physically, you name it. They will tear the head off a grown man if they need to, Danny's had scars since he arrived in Amity Park and Sam and Tucker both are going to find the person who put them there and make them pay for it.

One time, Tucker overheard a bunch of upperclass girls speaking nastily about Danny and about the rumors surrounding him, calling him names like 'freak', 'monster', etc. Danny was with him and heard it, and seemingly appeared unbothered by it, even telling Tucker that he was used to such rumors.

Tucker was so furious that hacked into the school system later that night and tanked those girls grades. They were kicked out of their clubs and had to go to mandatory tutoring for the rest of the year. He made sure to leave some way of letting them know it was him who did it.

And Sam doesn't like using her money for things, doesn't like abusing that wealth. So instead, whenever her parents talk bad about Danny, she causes a media incident that has her parents scrambling to deal with. She does something wild, outrageous by her parents' standards.

She heard some boys on the basketball team making fun of Danny once, similar to those girls had. She kicks up a fuss about something eco-unfriendly at school and forcibly holds a protest on the same day of the big home basketball game, forcing them to cancel the event and reschedule to a visiting school.

She anonymously donates money so that there's new uniforms for the team but oops! Looks like she "forgot" to donate enough money for them to get uniforms for all the team members, and strangely enough those boys in particular didn't get them! Looks like they'll have to wait until more money gets donated for the basketball team to get their new, nice uniforms. The old ones look so ratty in comparison, right?

And since the football team gets most of the sport money, that might just take awhile. And if (and when) they kick up a fuss? oops! Off the basketball team you go, :) such unsportsman-like behavior is unfit for the team.

(The only good thing about how corrupt the school system is is that she can use it to her advantage too.)

The both of them know that Danny suspects them for the sudden misfortune falling on these people, but he doesn't call them out on it. He's kinder than he used to be, but not kind enough to vouch for people who speak badly of him. Sometimes, he might just congratulate them on not getting caught.

Because Danny is their wonderful, hurt friend with a "slightly" Blue and Orange Moral code, and enough scars that people have been calling him a criminal (and worse) since he arrived in Amity Park when he was ten. And they'll be damned if he gets hurt anymore.

[incorrectdccomicquotes]

Scarecrow: *evil laughter*

Robin: Congratulations on taking over the US healthcare system, doctor.

Scarecrow: All it took was a little elbow grease, and a comically large space laser.

Robin: So what’s your plan now?

Scarecrow: I’ll do what I do best: I’m going to make it evil! I’ll start by squeezing cash out of the chronically sick by charging exorbitant prices for their medicine. Diabetics will have to pay me a hundred - no - two hundred dollars for their insulin! *more evil laughter*

Robin: They… already do that.

Scarecrow: What?

Robin: Insulin already costs at least that much.

Scarecrow: Really? Two hundred dollars?

Batman: It’s closer to three hundred.

Scarecrow: Wow, okay. Diabolical. Guess the US beat me to the punch there.

Robin: They certainly beat you to punching diabetics.

Scarecrow: It’s fine. I have plenty of other great, evil ideas. Next, I’ll make treatment impossible to access by ensuring the hospitals are understaffed. And I’ll do this by limiting the number of people who are even allowed to become doctors! *even more evil laughter*

Robin: They do that, too.

Scarecrow: What? There’s no way.

Robin: Do you remember having to do a residency to become a doctor?

Scarecrow: Well, I’m not a medical doctor, exactly. I have a PhD in women’s studies…

Robin: Women’s studies?

Scarecrow: Being an evil dictator doesn’t exclude me from being a feminist, Boy Wonder.

Robin: Right… Well, you have to complete a residency at a hospital to become a physician. But the funds for hiring residents are provided by the US government. So the number of available resident programs (thus doctors) is decided by the Congress’ budget.

Scarecrow: So not only did they only do my evil thing, they did it in a more sinister and more subtle way.

Robin: Basically.

Scarecrow: I’m not sure if I should be proud of my country or disgusted by it.

Robin: Maybe both.

Scarecrow: Seems as though I’ll have to do something truly despicable to defeat the US government. In that case, I’ll make sure that the only people who can even afford healthcare are the ones who work for companies that benefit my economic interests!

Batman: That’s called insurance.

Scarecrow: Uhh, and I’ll let the hospitals deny treatment entirely to those who don’t have the correct insurance!

Robin: …

Scarecrow: No!

Robin: Yep.

Scarecrow: Oh my god.

Batman: You have some tough competition.

Scarecrow: They’ve already done every evil thing. Next, you’re going to tell me the hospitals are straight up racist.

Robin: Funny you should say that. According to recent research -

Scarecrow: Stop! I don’t wanna know! Ugh, all this information is making me feel like I’m gonna have a heart attack!

Robin: Should I call an ambulance?

Scarecrow: No, it’ll cost too much! Screw this, I can’t be more cartoonishly evil than the United States healthcare system. And I am literally a villain!

Robin: So what will you do?

Scarecrow: I’m just gonna take over something pure and free of corruption. Like uh, the US educational system!

Batman: Oh, boy.

[achromaticegoist]

Jheselbraum doesn’t have UNO

i love them so much

[mangasstuffcomics]

DC comics putting down dick Damian and Jason to uplift tim

To point of blaming Jason for his death and claiming dick only saw robin as a trill

More like Damian didn't save Bruce in knight terrors which took place just before this

And again

Dick always went off book and Jason hated practicing moves

Jason:

Having Cassandra degrade Stephanie after she died again to Make Tim. Look better

This video has some more examples of this DC is just can't write Tim without degrading the other robins in some way

[redz0nez9]

MATT STURNIOLO PT 24 & THANK YA'LL FOR 400 FOLLOWERS

QUENBLACKWELL'S VIDEO ATE DOWN!! (I LOVE HER SO MUCH)

[ms-nesbit]

batfamily as most recently viewed youtube videos

damian: theories on bill cypher, cybersecurity attack docuvideos

steph: mukbangs, karen karma compilations, and duct tape dress tutorials (don't ask, it was a long night)

duke: crash course chemistry, crash course US history, just...crash course. lots of crash course.

dick: diy bellbottom pants, tiktok trend breakdowns for old people, lots and lots of ABBA

barbara: rotten mangoes true crime, leeja miller, compilations of US politicians being bigots

tim: why was ABBA so popular?, live DJ sets, watchmojo.com, best investment apps for beginners

jason: scotty kilmer, binging with babish, compilations of crooked cops getting busted, motorcycle repair videos, top 10 batman fails

bruce: tiktok trend breakdowns for old people, breakdowns on the negative effects of social media

alfred: ww2 documentaries, 60s UK punk rock playlists

[bepoucorp]

a collection of batman animations that i scrapped!

[erebus0dora]

o fellow GMs, storytellers, improv artists, shitpost enjoyers and old man yaoi appreciators,

i believe you might enjoy this

[avocado62524]

[nuka-rockit]

[thewrittenpodcast]

Damian: I HATE YOU

Jason: then next time, don't steal my monopoly!

Dick: damian, give jason his 200 dollars, you landed on his property

Damian: no

Damian: he is in JAIL

Damian: i am not giving money to a CRIMINAL

Jason: THATS NOT HOW YOU PLAY

Duke: why are you screaming

Tim: shut the fuck up Duke, you don't get to talk after stealing my last railroad

Damian: I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN

Jason: ME TOO YOU THINK I WANTED THIS