#youre a monster dude

[virtue-and-beneviolence]

:) You said yesterday not to get you started. I've decided I would really like to get you started and hear about Hanma/Ran threesome 😏

Forgive me imma sin rn

Minors and you blank blogs I swear to fuck y'all better stay off this.

Okay god. Fuck. They're so mean. And just filthy.

Hanma and Ran bond over making you crumble for them. They only talk to each other, really. It's like you're not even there. They know it gets to you. They know you crave their attention. They know it only gets you wetter, makes you louder trying to get spoken to not about. And somehow, when they talk directly to your pussy, it makes your need for them to acknowledge you even stronger. They call you all sorts of lukewarm mean things. They banter about how needy you are and how pathetic you sound. And god,,,you didn't know how badly you wanted that,,,

Ran gets your pussy first, (they probably flipped a coin ahead of time) but not until after shuji feasts on your cunt and not until youve sucked and spit up and down Ran's long cock. All the while Ran isn't shy about asking Shuji how's she taste?

Shuji laughs, directly in your lips and asks how badly he wants to know as he collects your slick on his tongue and presents it to the other man. And by god if Ran isn't feeling absolutely foul enough to lick your slick right off Shuji's fucking tongue.

I swear to God you e never met men so secure in themselves that they could just casually pull that shit in their first encouter.

No now hear me out bc shuji is such a whore okay shuji is dying to fuck you at the same time okay so you're riding Ran while he preps you okay then bam you're absolutely losing you're mind. Both men are fucking you and you can't even tell that shuji isn't gripping you he's gripping Ran's hips trying to get him to fuck you faster, deeper, making it an even tighter, more mind boggling experience for him.

So um tldr. They're mean and vile and delightfully homoerotic despite maybe being pretty straight? I mean shuji is so bi to me but idk I don't know Abt ran except that I do think he'd get this way at least when he's super into it lol.

I hope you like the cliff notes of why I think they're super sexy together. Such weird unhinged chemistry ugh I need it.

[bluegiragi]

cockatrice (part 2)

early access + nsfw on patreon

--

werewolf lore drop ahead!!

although werewolves are classified as a shifter-type monster (same as Horangi or the cockatrice) they're actually unique in a hidden way. Horangi is a hybrid whose lineology originates from the first pureblood haetaes, which had zero human in them. In comparison, werewolves originated AS a human-wolf monster, which results in an interesting relationship between the human and shifted 'full-wolf' form.

While Horangi is the same in his human and haetae form, Soap juggles two souls in one body - one belonging to human side, and the other to his wolf. They are both still implicitly him - the souls run parallel with one another throughout his life - but being a werewolf is very much like maintaining a life-long partnership. Soap and his wolf are a great example of a success story, but some werewolves have difficult relationships with their wolf, resulting in only transforming during full moons when they have to.

In some ways, Soap is perfect in the military's eyes as he has a strong connection with his wolf, and happens to come from a long line of larger-than-average specimens (even though he doesn't care too much about his genealogy, preferring to call himself a mongrel breed). In other ways, he's also a nightmare, because his wolf exemplifies the worst in his rebellious streak, featuring recklessness, fickleness towards authority and an extremely low tolerance for boredom.

[huginsmemory]

As someone whose asexual and a monsterfucker and knowing that there is a large subsection of the monsterfucking community that is Ace or on that spectrum, Ford being very Ace-coded and implied to have fucked a a triangle feels accurate to me. representative, even.

[infamously-winking]

hot take on billford is that the secret third thing is obsession with being seen by someone for the first time in each of their lives

[yummycrummy]

decided to do this

[pencildragons]

still insanely funny to me that ortus nigenad has canonically written 18 volumes of epic poetry about a bodyguard who was, in fact, Just Some Guy, and regularly quotes himself out loud in conversations on the regular. man had to die at the start of gtn because he was too fucking powerful to live

[inkskinned]

am i gonna put you in the book acknowledgements am i gonna be able to say your name without flinching am i ever gonna get a word in edgewise am i ever gonna recover the time i spent with you. computer virus kid; i arrived in your life already begging to be let in. somehow insecure i could even be your friend. like you had a line outside the door and we were all shifting our weight, begging.

you're so fucking good at that - at making people feel like they need to earn you, like you're a commodity none of us can afford. no kindness or careful communication could work on you - you were so good at just going-ghost, about deciding someone just wasn't cool-enough. something about that is super ironic. even the parts of it that weren't romantic felt like a romance book. i wanted you to like me so badly i scrubbed myself clean just so you'd spare me - what. your favor? a look?

okay okay okay. it's just a friendship - if it was even true that we were friends, if you even saw me as someone you trusted. on reddit someone would tell me girl literally just cut her out of your life, it's not that difficult. even i was aware of how fucked up the whole situation was. like, why the fuck do i even care about your approval? you're like, not even that fun to be around. you are often a little bit cruel.

but for almost four years of my life, i thought i had found someone like me. somebody who liked the same things i do. someone who liked to read and who liked making jokes with esoteric references and who spent maybe too much time on the internet and who was absolutely a little bit pretentious. i don't know, something about that was powerful and addictive.

i keep thinking about our last conversation. about how i said - okay, enough is enough. you pushed me too far, you really hurt my feelings.

and how you laughed and said - you think you're the victim?

[freaky-flawless]

Does Mattel think people dislike Clawd?

Do people dislike Clawd???

[anachronistic-falsehood]

i wanna grab qcellbit by the shoulders and shake him. something about the way he tries to separate the actions of cell from himself in a lot of ways just gets to me. “i’m not cell anymore that monster died” no he didn’t. you are cell. cell is you. he did not die. you just got better. “what did you do to get in prison? it wasn’t anything bad right?” “i mean what is bad really?” you’re undermining your own actions to tubbo and he doesn’t even know what you did in the first place. you could just say “it’s in the past, i'd rather not talk about it” but you're almost trying to justify what you've done. why? so that if he does find out he won’t think too harshly of you? so that you can feel better about it? to absolve yourself of some of that guilt?

you’re a master of deflection, just like your husband. but while his shield is humour, your switch between casual justification and shifting of blame. you don’t know how else to handle what you’ve done. your train of thought goes from “oh it’s fine it wasn’t that bad i got better we can joke about it haha” to “he was a monster and that’s not me he’s dead and he’s never coming back” amiga…. you are constantly in the midst of an identity crisis because you feel like shit over the things you’ve done. you cover up everything with a thin layer of lies and it's a miracle that some people believe everything you say at face value. the only people you’ve been genuine about this with are roier, richas, bad, and pac and bagi a little bit. you’ve slipped into some of those old habits lately. you might be killing federation workers as we speak.

you are cell. cell is you. you haven't killed the part of you that holds those impulses because to do so completely would be to kill yourself. you did those things. you've hurt people. the line you’ve shakily drawn between yourself and your actions in easily washable chalk is being sprayed by a garden hose. it's blurring.

[honiemoss]

i know he means Needles but I’m choosing to hit Colin with the bearification beam from now on instead

[angelbitezzz]

There was gonna be more but, well, y'know 😒

So last night I got struck by the idea lightning and started spontaneously working on a Mafiafell self insert au because I'm insane. Underfell is already basically my favorite au, and while Mafiafell has it's problems (glances surreptitiously at that one infamous fic and comic) I think it has a lot of potential

[lord-squiggletits]

Part of why I hate this fandom's take on Autobots vs Decepticons is ppl (mainly 'con fans honestly) who can't have any nuance of the situation whatsoever and love to write plots like "oh the humans are racist and abusive towards Cybertronians so this is how Megatron is right" no actually I don't think colonialism/imperialism and racism are justified so long as you can point the finger and say "they were the aggressors first" or "their hands are no cleaner than ours bc their society sucks too" sorry. Please come up with better sociopolitical narratives in your war story.

[appri-dot]

doc does not get along with too many people, in fact i do not think there is a single person that actively gets along with doc? he keeps his interactions cordial with everyone, but i dont think theres anyone that actually likes him and wants to talk to him more.

doc is very much not innocent, no. he has a way of getting into peoples heads, tries to plant the seeds of his ideology. he stalks, he listens in on conversations he shouldn't be privy to, he physically intimidates people and backs them into corners - but he never hurts people physically. it would take quite a lot to get him to attack someone, let alone kill them.

as for the state of docs humanity... well. who's to say? :)

I love this freakazoid so much<333333

[curapicas]

More eloquent people have already talked about it so I'll just leave it here

Bonus:

This clown

[jackdaw-and-hattrick]

Superman, watching Conner with a look of pure terror: I helped make this monstrosity.

Danny, holding Danni Lion King style and smiling wider than is humanly possible: ¡¡¡¡I HELPED MAKE THIS MONSTROSITY!!!!!

[lovelywingsart]

I got another new bab from NaldThal on toyhouse and I love him SO MUCH

His name is Flick

He's my cracked out little gremlin child with rabid chihuahua energy and I absolutely adore him uwu

//Thal makes amazing designs and usually I try not to horde them all (also partially due to money-), but I genuinely could not go without him.

He's so dumb.

I don't think he'll be fully be one of my Resident Evil OCs, but you can bet your ass I'm eventually drawing him with Emelia and Karl.

I can tell you right now that he freaks Karl out and it's great.//