#your prank didn't work out too well buddy

[askblueandviolet]

-pours pink environmentally safe glitter into Macs sock/underwear drawer then puts it into his shampoo bottle, and puts the empty bottles into the child's bag-

UwU

MASTER POST

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[lxvvie]

On today's episode of Simps-R-Us: A Guy and his... pet(s), or You, Your Faves, and your fur/feathered/fin-babies:

Capt. John Price - Standing ten toes down on this: Price would have two small, cute dogs, one named Sir Peabody and the other named Lady Marie. You two spoil them something fierce and they have a pile of little doggy hats that match their beloved papa's... much to his chagrin.

Gaz - Gaz said he'd surprise you and surprise you he did. He came home with a cockatoo. A damn cockatoo. Jokes on him, though, because your bird baby absolutely loves to prank the shit out of Gaz, too, by mimicking your voice when you're away and making him jump. Jokes on both of you now, because Soap has taught him how to curse and that's all he does now, Scottish accent and all. You have a picture saved of the bird (named Buttercup) on top of Gaz's head.

Alex Keller - Has the most gremlin Donskoy (named Brunswick) to ever gremlin, complete with the wide stormy eyes, which is funny because Keller can sometimes make a face that's very much gremlin-esque and the two greatly resemble each other. Can usually be found making biscuits on Alex's head.

Soap - Has a Labrador named Whiskey that he absolutely adores. Whiskey has also put you two in the most adorable of love triangles where you don't know whose affection you're playfully fighting for on any given day. Also has a tendency to take Soap's socks and he has to chase him throughout the house. Well, he and Whiskey are chasing each other throughout the house just about constantly.

Ghost - You guys talked about it but he surprised you one day by bringing home a Belgian Mal puppers who didn't make the unit. His name? Pup. Pup Riley. And Pup Riley is a ball of energy. Bloody hell. He always assumes he's going for a walk whenever you two make ready to leave. He also won't let Simon leave without him and so Simon usually has to create a diversion just to walk out the front door. It's also not uncommon for Pup to jump on his Papa whenever he gets home, too. Oh, did we also talk about the fact that Simon has to fight with Pup for his side of the bed whenever he's home or that Pup wakes him up early in the damn morning to take him out for his first walk of the day?

Roach - Found a stray kitten and brought her home. Her name's Oatmeal. Oatmeal is now the chonkiest, cutest loaf (you send Roach various pictures of her Loafiness). You two also bought her a set of those pet buttons just for shits and giggles and Oatmeal's really caught on to them. She uses "Dad", "Mad", and "Food" a lot even though she stays fed lmao.

Keegan - To everyone's surprise (and his own), has a husky named Balto who ignores the concept of personal space, loves to put his paw right in the middle of Keegan's face, and has pissed on Keegan's boots more than once because Balto felt slighted (you had to go to the groomer's, buddy, you rolled in mud). You and Keegan have also lost count of the number of times you've had to carry Balto into the house because he refuses to come inside, especially when it’s cold.

Alejandro - You two adopted a senior dog named Mojo who is the most peaceful little angel. Can usually be found lying near yours or Alejo's feet as you're working or something of that nature.

Rudy - You two have this huge ass tank full of fish that run the gamut of the rainbow and you remember all their names. The brooding one is named Alejandro and his namesake was not amused lmao.

König - You two have a small but floofy cat. She's black with a grey undercoat that he calls his "little Prinzessin" and she always looks like she's in a constant state of surprise. Whenever she blinks or closes her eyes, she becomes a floofy void. Her Highness prefers to be carried like a baby, thank you very much.

Phillip Graves - You two are the proud parents of a Bulldog named Bubba who thinks he has his humans trained (spoiler alert: he kinda does). Bubba Graves makes your day with the way he silently judges his parents, throws a tantrum when he doesn't get more food or pets, and usually has Philip sigh facetiously and go, "Now, son, why can't you behave for your old man, huh?"

[ddejavvu]

eddie x reader

wayne & her r gonna meet but they already know each other so they prank eddie that he doesn’t like her

You've got your game face on, Eddie just misunderstands why. He thinks you've squared your shoulders and furrowed your brow to remind yourself that you're tough, that you're awesome, and that it doesn't matter what his uncle thinks of you (even though he knows he'll love you). Really, it's because you're about to rage against the man currently opening the door.

"Wayne," Eddie grins, holding up your joined hands, "This is-"

"You," Wayne seethes, glare sharp enough to fool his nephew, "What the hell are you doing bringin' 'round a criminal, son?"

"A- A what?"

"Oh, not you," You scoff, dropping Eddie's hand to cross your arms over your chest, "Eddie, you didn't tell me your uncle was a psychopath."

"Psycho- What? You're the one that keyed my car!"

"You hit me with it," You seethe, spitting mad, "And then you just drove away! You laughed, you're fucking insane!"

"You- you what? Wayne!" Eddie looks aghast at his uncle, "The first time I get a girlfriend you run her over?"

"She was in my way," The old man gripes, "Tell her to stop jaywalking."

"Jaywalking? And- and baby," He turns to you, eyes wide and afraid, "You slashed his tires? I- I mean, that's fucked up that he did that but- but did you really do that?"

"She called me a coot, too," Wayne insists, but after punctuating his sentence, his frown falters, and his jaw nearly snaps from how hard he's clenching it, trying to keep his laughter in."

"You are a coot," You huff, but his concealed laughter only makes your own bubble up, "And- and another thing, old man..."

"Yeah? Gimme a reason," Wayne raises a fist, all bark and no bite, "Just- just gimme a reason to, and I'll- I'm sorry, I can't."

His chest puffs with laughter, and the way Eddie's standing fear-stricken makes you dissolve as well. He's perhaps more afraid of the two of you when you break down laughing together, leaning on the doorframe or folded over at the waist. He almost wishes you'd start shouting again.

"Okay, guys," He calls warily, "What's going on?"

"She works at the gas station I stop by for cigarettes." Wayne waves a hand at Eddie, "I knew you two were together when I saw that ring on her hand." He points to a particularly gaudy one of Eddie's that he'd given you as a token of his admiration."

"Sorry, Eddie," Your sentence begins with a giggle and ends with a sigh as you butt your head against his chest, "We just wanted to freak you out."

"You did," He shakes his head, eyes closed, "i thought you were gonna knock her lights out, Wayne. And- wait! You said you quit smoking!"

This time it's Eddie with fire in his eyes, and you give Wayne a teasingly panicked look from over Eddie's shoulder.

"Yeah, I told you that 'cause I wanted you to think it," Wayne drawls, "I buy a pack after work every week."

"You're not allowed to sell him any more," Eddie whirls on you, and you drop the face, "Understand?"

"Yes, sir." You fake-salute, "Now can we get inside? I want to hang out with your uncle."

"I've been meanin' t'ask you," Wayne welcomes you into the trailer with an arm out that wraps around your shoulders as you cross the threshold, leaving Eddie alone on the front steps, "Did you ever get that car radio of yours workin' again? 'Cause a buddy of mine just totaled his car, the stereo's workin' fine. I figured I could swap it out for you."

As you get into a discussion of car radios and junkyard ethics, Eddie stands with furrowed brows in the doorway. He's watching his girlfriend and his uncle chat like college friends, and he can barely shake off the bewilderment enough to step inside his own home.

"You two are crazy," He cuts you off, frowning at the both of you, "I- God, I need a beer."

[maiko-san]

TADC x Robotic Jester! Reader (Part 3)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Continuation of the previous parts :D, I literally forgot one character that is Kaufmo. Even though he's not in the pilot, the poor guy deserves love! I know this is a short chapter but Kaufmo kinda deserves one tbh. Too many Jax x readers around lol.

ft. Kaufmo

Warning : slight angst

There's nothing much to do around the circus as of late, Caine had been busy with his work/project and the others are doing their own things or minding their own business.

You're in Gangle's room and watch her draw characters from anime, even though she couldn't remember much about the characters or how they used to look like. Every time she draws, she feels that she is getting the characters so right!

"Look, here (Y/o/n)!" Gangle smiles as she holds up her finished drawing of an animal with a large red hat.

"A raccoon?" you questioned tilting your head to the side. "No, silly! It's a reindeer! A doctor too!" Gangle said. "Hehehe~ I'm just messing with ya, Ribbons!" you said.

"Hey, look what I've drawn!" you said. Holding up a badly drawn of yourself with Gangle with the word 'Weeb Besties' on top with hearts all over. Gangle gasps and takes the paper from you, "I'm going to pin it on my wall!" she said, hugging the drawing. She walks over to her board and pins it on the large board filled with all kinds of arts she had done.

"(Y/o/n), let's play mario—" before Gangle could finish, both of you were teleported to the stage.

Turns out, there were new people on the stage.

Kaufmo

A clown?! Gasps! A stage buddy! Yippe :D

Kaufmo, a name that was given to the newcomer by Caine. At first, the poor guy was in a panic mess, well who wouldn't when you enter a whole different dimension in an instant.

"What—wh—where am I?! Why can't I get this thing off?????!!!" Kaufmo shrieks as he begin pulling on his face, Jax snorts "Try pulling harder, maybe you could rip—" you instantly slaps your hand on the rabbits's mouth to shut him up.

LICK— "Waa! Eew! Gross!" you cringe when Jax licks your palm as the purple rabbit gives you a smug grin.

Caine had taken Kaufmo on an instant tour around the place.

The clown didn't take it too well.

The guy was in a nervous wreck and running around the tent to find an escape from the digital realm.

"Exit! Where's the exit!" he shrieked. Jax on the other hand kinda had enough with his screaming and left, leaving you and the others.

"Alright, let's calm down and take a deep breath" Ragatha said as she walked over to Kaufmo to calm him down.

Due to Ragatha's expertise at calming people, Kaufmo finally calms down.

Everyone introduced themselves to the clown and it was your turn, "Hello, there Kaufmo! My name is (Y/o/n) the robotic jester! Hey, wanna hear a joke?" you said with a grin.

Somehow both of you became partners in the circus!

You and Kaufmo would do tricks together and tell jokes to each other, even Kaufmo's jokes weren't the best ( most of his jokes were consists of dad jokes btw ). Being a good partner, you help him improve!

Like Kinger, Kaufmo sees you as a good friend. Like you do with Gangle, you protect him from Jax's pranks and mockeries.

But even when you try to get his mind off the exit, it won't stop him or change his mind. Kaufmo were glad that you wanted to help him but....

He really wants to go home.....

"(Y/o/n)....I'm thankful that you want to help me but...I miss home and...my family. I know they are waiting for me" Kaufmo said. with a deep frown on his face. You stare into his black beady eyes as you rub your arm and look away.

"Don't you miss yours, (Y/o/n)?" your eyes widen slightly at Kaufmo's question, "I wish I could be like you, ya know....Like don't worry about anything at all? All of your feelings are so genuine unlike the others, like you belong in this place....." Kaufmo said, fiddling with his gloves.

"Well, I— uh" you were cut off by a voice.

"Now, what's with all of these frowning I see?" a voice echoes, both of you look up to see the moon looking down at the two of you.

"Oh, w-we were just talking...." you said, rubbing the back of your neck "I-I I think I want to go back to my room, see you tomorrow I guess..." you said as you speed your way back to your room. On your way, you see Jax walking by and he sees you. He folds his arms behind him and extends his leg once you got close.

He trips you as you fall on the ground, but you were too deep in your thoughts to even bother about Jax tripping you.

A question mark appears on Jax's head as he watches you enter your designated room, slamming the door shut. Jax's grin left his lips, he never sees you acting like that before and it kinda bothers him to see you like that.

"Pft....they'll get over it" he snorts as he walks away but he still couldn't shake off the feelings.

Once you're in your room, you lock the door and lean on the wooden door before sliding down and sit on the floor. You cover your face with your hands and cry.....

Now that Kaufmo said it, "I u-understand how it felt...." you mumbled to yourself. Yes, you also miss your family.

Especially your beloved uncle, you couldn't remember what he look like anymore and every time you want to remember, it was all a blur in your mind.....

He was the only family you had left.....

You'd hope that he's doing alright....

You look up at a drawn picture of yourself (avatar form) and a man with a question mark on his face, both of you are holding hands.

There is a word written, "Greatest Uncle in the world".

"I...I miss you" you sobbed, rubbing away your tears.

[justlemmeadoreyou]

babee, could you write an angst about Harry being bullied but he kept it a secret from his girlfriend and one day she ended up seeing him being bullied by his colleagues? and then she helps him and when they get home she asks "why didn't you tell me before?" but then she comforts him and helps him

words: 2.4k

warnings: mentions of bullying, cursing, kissing.

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"Babe, I'm heading out for work. Love you!" Y/N called out cheerfully as she grabbed her bag.

Harry poked his head out of the kitchen, a strained smile on his face. "Love you too. Have a good day."

Y/N leaned in to give him a quick peck on the lips before heading out the door. As soon as it clicked shut behind her, Harry's smile faded. He sighed deeply, dreading going into the office again.

For the past few months, Harry had been dealing with a group of co-workers who seemed to have it out for him. It started with little things - hiding his stapler, moving his desk supplies, that kind of thing. Harmless pranks that Harry tried to laugh off. But it quickly escalated into verbal taunts and nasty rumors being spread about him around the office.

"Hey Styles, where'd you get that ratty tie? The dumpster behind the Chinese buffet?" Andy, the ringleader, would sneer as Harry walked by.

His buddies Marc and Kyle would then chime in with cruel laughter and childish nicknames like "hairy" or "wanker"

At first, Harry tried his best to ignore it, not wanting to come across as weak or overly sensitive. But as the bullying persisted and intensified, it began to really wear him down. He started dreading going into work each day, feeling anxious and depressed.

The worst part was, he couldn't even vent to his loving girlfriend Y/N about what was happening. He was too ashamed and embarrassed to admit he was being bullied at his age. So he kept it all bottled up inside, putting on a brave face whenever he was around her.

Y/N, meanwhile, had no idea about the turmoil her boyfriend was going through at the office…

"Well, well, if it isn't the Idiot," Andy's grating voice rang out as soon as Harry stepped through the door.

Here we go again, Harry thought miserably as he made his way to his desk, avoiding eye contact.

"Having another bad hair day, Hairy?" Kyle taunted, sticking a foot out to try and trip Harry as he passed.

Marc joined in, making exaggerated gestures of tripping and falling down. "Oooh, better be careful! Wouldn't want to take a tumble and mess up that ridiculous mop!"

The three bullies cackled amongst themselves as Harry silently seethed, keeping his head down and continuing on to his workspace. He tried to focus on his computer and drown out their irritating voices, but it was difficult.

A few hours later, Andy sauntered over, Marc and Kyle in tow. He leaned obnoxiously on Harry's desk.

"So Idiot, word around the office is you've been putting in some long hours," Andy said with a nasty grin. "Trying to make up for being such an incompetent pretty boy?"

Harry felt his face flush but didn't respond, staring stoically at his monitor.

Andy continued his taunting. "What, cat got your tongue? Or are you just too stupid to form a decent comeback?"

"Hey babe!"

Harry's head snapped up at the familiar voice. To his horror, he saw Y/N walking towards his desk, holding a bagged lunch with a bright smile.

"Thought I'd stop by and have a cute little lunch date with my hardworking man," she said happily.

Andy, Marc and Kyle immediately stopped their jeering, putting on fake polite smiles as Y/N approached. Harry wanted to die right there on the spot.

"Oh hey Y/N, didn't realize you were stopping in today," Andy said in a saccharine tone. "Always a pleasure to see you."

He threw a conspicuous wink at Harry, whose face was burning red with humiliation. Y/N remained oblivious to the tension, giving the three men a friendly wave.

"Hi guys! I hope you don't mind if I steal Harry away for a half hour or so?" she said brightly.

"Not at all, not at all!" Marc replied jovially. "You two lovebirds have fun now."

Y/N looped her arm through Harry's and began leading him away towards the breakroom, completely missing the obscene hand gestures and mouthed taunts the three bullies were directing at her boyfriend.

Once they were alone, Y/N beamed up at Harry. "Surpriiiise! I know how hard you've been working lately, so I wanted to bring you a little pick-me-up."

She held up the bagged lunch enticingly. Harry felt a rush of love for his sweet, caring girlfriend…immediately followed by another wave of shame for not being honest with her.

"Babe, you're the best," he mumbled, forcing a smile as they sat down at a small table. "Thank you for this."

"Of course!" Y/N replied happily, unpacking the lunch she'd prepared. "Now eat up, I don't want those jerks working you too hard. Oh, speaking of which…"

Harry tensed, worried she was about to reveal that she'd picked up on Andy, Marc and Kyle's cruel behavior. But Y/N just laughed lightly and waved a dismissive hand.

"Kyle was going on about how he pulled a muscle in his back this weekend, such a drama queen. Anyway, enough boring office gossip! How's your day been so far?"

"Fine," Harry lied quickly, keeping his eyes down. "Just…y'know, the usual grind."

And so their "lunch date" continued, with Harry putting on an increasingly strained front as Y/N cheerfully chatted away, oblivious to his inner anguish. All too soon, it was time for her to leave.

"Thanks again for the amazing lunch, babe," Harry said, pulling her in for a loving hug and kiss. "I needed that."

"I'm glad I could provide a little light in your day," Y/N murmured, hugging him tightly. "I love you so much, Harry."

"Love you too," Harry replied softly, dreading having to return to his desk and face his tormentors once again.

After Y/N departed, Harry took a deep, steadying breath and made his way back out to the main office area. He had just sat down at his desk, trying to seem focused on his work, when he was roughly bumped from behind.

"Well, well, if it isn't the Princess herself," Andy's mocking voice rang out.

Spinning around, Harry saw the trio smirking at him, clearly intent on resuming their bullying now that Y/N was gone.

"Can't step away from your little girlfriend for even an hour without getting misted eyes," Kyle taunted. "So pathetic."

"Yeah, we were taking it easy before because the lady was around," Marc chimed in. "But now that she's gone…"

The three closed in on Harry menacingly until he felt backed into his desk, heart pounding with dread. This was not going to end well.

But to Harry's shock and the bullies' surprise, a familiar voice suddenly rang out.

"That's enough!"

They all whipped around to see Y/N marching back over to Harry's desk, fire flashing in her eyes. She had returned after forgetting her thermos, only to stumble upon the confrontation.

"Leave him alone, you jerks!" Y/N shouted angrily, storming up to the stunned trio before Harry could stop her. "I saw and heard everything! How dare you treat my boyfriend that way?"

Andy, Marc and Kyle exchanged uncomfortable looks, clearly not anticipating being called out by Harry's girlfriend. They quickly tried to regroup and reassert control.

"Listen sweetheart, this is just a bit of guy humor," Andy said in a patronizing tone, putting on an unconvincing smile. "You know how it is, we were just razzing Harry a little, all in good fun."

"Oh yeah, shoving him and calling him pathetic names? That's just real hilarious banter!" Y/N shot back, furious. She stepped protectively in front of Harry, staring the three bullies down defiantly.

Though his heart had leapt at her fierce defense of him, Harry also felt a surge of dread and embarrassment that she'd witnessed him being tormented like that.

But there was no deterring Y/N once her protective instincts kicked in. She jabbed an accusatory finger squarely into Andy's chest.

"How about this, asshole? From now on you treat MY boyfriend with respect, or you'll have me to answer to. Got it?"

The three men looked taken aback by Y/N's unexpected anger, exchanging uneasy glances. Andy quickly regained his bravado, puffing out his chest in an attempt to seem intimidating.

"Listen little lady, this doesn't concern you-"

"The hell it doesn't!" Y/N shot back, not backing down an inch. "Harry is the love of my life, which means anyone who messes with him messes with me. You got that?"

There was a tense silence as the confrontation reached a boiling point. Harry could only watch in amazed disbelief as his normally sweet girlfriend transformed into a fierce protector before his eyes.

Finally, Andy seemed to think better of prolonging the confrontation any further. With a snort, he shrugged and turned to walk away, motioning for Marc and Kyle to follow.

"Whatever, it was just a laugh. No need to get your panties in a twist, lady," he muttered in a feeble last attempt to save face.

As the three bullies skulked off, Y/N remained rooted in place, chest heaving with anger and adrenaline. It wasn't until they disappeared around a corner that she allowed some of the tension to finally leave her body.

She immediately whirled around to face Harry, grabbing his hands in hers as concern flooded her features.

"Are you okay? Did they hurt you at all?" she asked urgently, searching his face.

Harry could only mutely shake his head, speechless at the ocean of emotions swirling within him - shame, humiliation, but also love and gratitude for the woman before him.

Y/N studied him briefly before speaking again, her voice taking on a softer edge.

"Babe…why didn't you tell me this was happening? That those jerks were bullying you like that?"

Harry's gaze dropped to the floor, unable to meet the caring worry in her eyes. He shrugged helplessly.

"I…I don't know," he mumbled. "I guess I was just too embarrassed. Letting a bunch of immature pricks get to me like that…"

He trailed off, unsure how to properly  put into words the complicated emotions he'd been dealing with. How could he admit that their cruel taunting and harassment had left him feeling utterly powerless and insignificant? Like he was a useless joke not worthy of basic human respect?

Y/N seemed to sense the complicated inner turmoil raging inside her boyfriend. Gently, she reached up and cradled his face in her soft hands, forcing Harry to meet her tender gaze.

"Hey, listen to me," she said, "There is nothing, absolutely nothing, to be embarrassed about. You were being bullied and tormented by cowards who get their sad kicks out of tearing people down."

She paused, searching his eyes intently to make sure he was absorbing her words.

"You are the kindest, most caring, respectful man I know," Y/N continued. "And I'll be damned if I just stand by while some pathetic losers try to make you feel less than that."

Harry felt his throat constrict with emotion at her passionate defense of him. He blinked rapidly to stave off the burn of shameful tears threatening to fall.

"I…I should have told you," he croaked out remorsefully. "I just…I couldn't stand the thought of you seeing me like that. So weak and…"

"Hey." Y/N cut him off by gently pressing her fingers to his lips. "You are anything but weak, Harry Styles. Keeping something like that bottled up, dealing with harassment and staying strong through it all? That's not weakness, babe. That's courage."

She stroked his cheek tenderly, her loving gaze never wavering.

"I'm just sorry you felt like you had to go through any of that alone," Y/N said softly. "From now on, I need you to promise me - if anything like that ever happens again, you tell me right away so I can be there for you. So I can fight those assholes off and put them in their place." Y/N said this fiercely, protectiveness blazing in her eyes.

Harry couldn't help but crack a small smile at her ferocity, his heart swelling with love for this amazing woman. He nodded slowly. "I promise. No more secrets, no more hiding it. Although…" He raised an eyebrow teasingly. "I have to admit, watching you take those jerks down a few notches was pretty hot."

Y/N tried to maintain a stern expression, but her lips twitched with amusement. "Oh, you liked that, did you? Should I invest in a tight leather bodysuit then? Really play up the whole avenging girlfriend superhero vibe?"

Harry threw his head back with a loud laugh at the imagery, finally allowing the last lingering traces of shame and tension to bleed out of him. He pulled Y/N close, holding her tenderly as he nuzzled against her hair.

"You're my hero, no matter what you wear," he murmured, utterly sincere. "Just…please don't storm any buildings in a cape or anything. I don't think my poor nerves could take it."

Y/N giggled, tilting her face up to brush her nose against his affectionately. "No capes, got it. But I make no promises about keeping those bullies in line if they try anything again."

She punctuated her teasing vow with a slow, heated kiss that left Harry's head spinning. When they finally parted, he was looking at his girlfriend with unmeasurable adoration.

"What did I ever do to deserve someone as amazing as you?" Harry asked

Y/N smirked and poked his chest playfully. "Well, for starters, you can take me out for a fancy dinner to make it up to me. I did just save your scrawny ass from those jerks, after all."

"Whatever you want, my angel," Harry replied. He looped his arm through hers, guiding them towards the exit with a renewed sense of confidence. "I'll even let you pick the fanciest place in town - on one condition."

Y/N eyed him suspiciously, "What's the condition?" she asked.

Harry leaned in until his lips were brushing her ear, voice dropping to a murmur. "You have to wear that leather bodysuit you mentioned…"

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p.s. : if you ever get bullied, please stand up for yourself! bullies are just jerks, they're insecure people who thrive off on calling other people out. please never feel like you're alone, talk to someone.

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[oneshlut]

Can you do The Amazing Digital Circus characters meeting the reader for the first time?

A/N: ofcofc!! thanks for the request, i ADORE writing for tadc! <33 (keeping these platonic since most characters i write for in tadc are platonic)

Another New Home (TADC & Reader) [Headcanons]

Rules For Requesting

Characters I Will Write For

Masterlist

Summary: General meeting/friendship headcanons for ALL characters of TADC

Caine:

Seeing as he's the ringmaster, Caine introduces himself first!

Tries to be a bit less louder than he was with Pomni. She's actually been talking with him lately, trying to get him to be a bit more friendly! And human!

Can you blame him for being slightly rude? He's not even human, so he can't be blamed for not understanding certain emotions.

But you help him understand! He'll ask you from time to time about what certain human things mean.

When you first spawned into the circus, Caine helped pick out a name for you! By that I mean he chose it for you. You didn't get a say in anything.

Your relationship now? Well, he makes sure you don't get abstracted! That's enough for a good friend, right?

Pomni:

Immediately freaked out hearing a new name in the theme song. DESPERATELY hopes you're not too weird, like Kinger or.. Jax? Well, she hopes you're not rude like Jax

After meeting you, she's pleasantly surprised! You two can kinda relate to your situation. Jax likes to call you two the "newbies".

Pomni tries her best to explain to you what the digital circus even means for you, what abstraction is, and what not. She may not be able to answer all of your questions, though.

Thinks you're one of the "normal" ones to hang out with. Tries sticking with you during Caine's adventures. (She just needs someone else that gets her. Luckily, you fit that role perfectly.)

If she's comfortable enough with you, some days she may visit you in your room! Pomni doesn't do this often, though, so feel lucky.

Overall, the two of you are existential crisis buddies! If you become friends with her, be prepared for lots of deep thoughts and.. well, confusion.

Ragatha:

Ragatha is always eager to meet someone new in the circus! Despite how dire your situation may be, she tries her best to cheer you up.

Every morning she checks the doors before going down to the grounds, and that morning she found your door. Your design intrigued her, she just had to meet you!

She definitely explains abstraction better than Pomni tried to. When you get nervous about.. well, going insane, she heavily reassures you. Although Caine's adventures may seem like hell, they're actually pretty fun! Sometimes.

Ragatha shows you to your room, before she lets you get to know everyone else. She tries to stay optimistic for you, but you can kinda feel her underlying worries about the situation as she explains it.

She's definitely one of the easier people in the circus to get along with. If you get to know her a bit better, she may open up to you! Ragatha will try to tell you everything she knows about her past self, but she's left with very little wisps of what she used to be like.

Ragatha is on the more nicer and motherly side of the group, so when you can you try to spend time with her. If you put in the right effort, Ragatha will become really fond of you!

Jax:

If you've read my other works, you'll know Jax isn't one for new people. And at the same time he is. He's really indecisive.

But meeting you wasn't too bad. You weren't overwhelmingly annoying, but you did have some elements to your character that he could tease or make fun of.

Your first impression of Jax was.. honestly kind of bad. He was a complete dick, what more do you expect? To say the least, his antics did not help your increasing confusion.

If you still hang out with him after your horrible introductions, he would be.. amused. Becoming friends with Jax was just setting yourself for failure. Walking into a bear trap.

He teased you, pranked you relentlessly, and made sure you failed horribly during Caine's adventures. Why? I dunno, it was funny.

Jax will tone down his asshole nature as time goes on, and the closer you are with him.

You'll know he's placed his full trust in you when he asks you to help him out with a prank.

Zooble:

According to Zooble, her name for you was 'weirdo' in her head until she met you. As is for everyone, I suppose.

Your first meeting was.. awkward? You had asked her how her limbs worked, detachable and all. It was intriguing to hear about, though.

One thing you shared in common with her was probably both of your lackluster attempts at Caine's adventures, before just deciding to give up.

When you were too tired to commit to an adventure, you'd hang out with Zooble. She was nice company, and much different from others who were much more chaotic. Spending time with Zooble gave your brain a rest, a chance to slow down. And.. it was nice.

Zooble may seem unwilling to befriend you, but I promise she's trying. Not many people actually try to befriend her, unless it's Jax. If you count Jax's pranks as a way of befriending.

In all honesty, when you first met her, you kinda thought she would be.. crazy. Like Kinger. Maybe it was her design, with all the colors in all its glory, but you found yourself pleasantly surprised!

As long as you aren't a natural annoying person, or push buttons like Jax, Zooble eill probably grow fond of you! She won't admit it, though.

Gangle:

Oohh, Gangle. She's a tough one. Right now she's focused on her comedy mask, and doesn't even notice you when you first spawn in.

When you come to say hi, she's still in sorrows. She wishes you could've seen her happier side when you first arrived..

You try to help Gangle fix her mask, but you.. kinda end up making it worse. You apologize profusely. Don't worry, she forgives you. She may have just cried a bit more.

The more you hang out with her, the more comfortable she will get with you. She's a tough one to break, so it may take a while for Gangle to become fully trusting in you.

Try not to make any sudden movements or bursts of affection, because she will cry. Gangle, being as emotional as she is, will probably break down if you're too nice to her. They're happy tears, I swear. She's just not as used to affection like she was before.

As you grow closer, you begin to notice the little things. Gangle begins to show hints of smiles, and if you're lucky, she'll giggle a bit at a joke.

If you're patient with Gangle, she'll get attached to you. Sorry, no take backsies. She's just happy to finally have someone to feel safe around.

Kinger:

Kinger is.. a wild card. Don't get me wrong, Kinger is one of my favorite characters, but you have to admit he's a bit startling at times. And confusing. So imagine meeting him after being transported to another reality, already confused enough with your current situation, and now having to deal with Kinger's personality.

Him being a bit, you know.. coo-coo, he kinda ignored you at first. Kinger thought he was just hallucinating again, as per usual. Then you spoke, and he immediately jumped.

Speaking to him leaves you a bit frazzled, but you don't mind. He asks a lot of confusing questions about you, like how many half-syllables are in your name. You don't even know your name yet..

But you spend time with him anyways, he can be fun at times! He's decently helpful on adventures, and is a joy to have outside of Caine's antics. (What I'm trying to say here is that you build fortresses together.)

Kinger categorizes all of his friends using chess pieces. He says your a knight. Not even he knows why, he just one day told you that you seemed like a knight.

Grow close enough, and this humanized chess piece will ramble on and on about plants and insects to you. When he's ranting, you can barely make out anything he says, as his words naturally seem to blend together. Honestly? He's probably neurodivergent.

One day he'll tell you about Queenie. But it's gonna take a while. Estimated 5 years. For now, you two are great friends! In a way, Kinger feels like this weird childhood friend you never had. And Kinger.. still sees you as a knight.

[imtrashraccoon]

Uh, this one I had planned from the beginning and I honestly love how it turned out. It definitely got away from me though.

@owl-bones

First Day, Previous Day, & Next Day.

Bad Sansuary: Dust - Vibe Check

Word Count: 1,865

As you entered your apartment, you closed and locked your front door. For a moment you debated putting the deadbolt in place before just doing it, as you never knew what could happen nowadays.

With a sigh, you slipped off your shoes and hung up your coat. Today had been exhausting and your back was killing you from sitting in those office chairs for so long. Still, you could relax now, at least until you had to return to the dreaded grind tomorrow morning. The moment you turned around though, you gasped.

Dust was sitting on your couch.

His skull was propped by his arms and he was hunched forward in a way that couldn't be comfortable for long. He was sitting so still, that you couldn't tell if he even knew you were there or not.

"Hey... Are you okay, buddy?" you asked carefully.

He shifted and glanced up at you, although he was still clutching his skull with his gloved hands. Did he have a headache? There were dark grooves underneath his eye sockets reminiscent of eye bags that humans got when they didn't sleep well. His mismatched eyelights seemed quite as well and almost glossed over, like he wasn't quite focusing on you, or anything else for that matter.

His gaze seemed to pierce through to your soul and yet, he said nothing. It was almost as if the person you knew as Dust wasn't actually there at the moment and you were looking into the hollow eye sockets of a husk.

"Oh boy... I'm gonna guess that you've had a rough day so far."

He didn't respond.

You shifted uncomfortably under his steady gaze and looked around for anything that might solve the mood of Mr. Spooky Scary. "Do you...mind if I just go get changed out of these work clothes? I'll be right back, okay?"

You didn't expect an answer and didn't receive one either. So, you decided to just give him a bit of space for a few minutes while you settled down a little now that you were home. At least he seemed passive at the moment and not hostile like you'd previously witnessed.

Once you were in comfy clothes, you re-entered the living room and found Dust in much the same position you'd left him in. You elected to unpack your bag and put things away though before trying to interact with him further.

Although, you couldn't help hating the silence and decided to try to engage in conversation with him. "I had a bad day too. I mean, it probably wasn't as bad as yours but still... I get it," you said quietly.

No response.

"One of my coworkers neglected to finish a report last week and the client practically raised hell until we got it done. So the big boss has been on us all day."

You sighed and shook your head, "It's frustrating getting punished for a problem an idiot caused that I had no involvement in."

Dust was still ignoring you, or at least, you couldn't tell if he was actually listening or not. Maybe you should try cheering him up? Although, you'd have to do something to shock him out of his current staring contest with the floor first.

You had to be careful not to startle him too badly though as you generally quite liked being alive. Plucking a small throw pillow from its place on the couch, you hesitated for a moment before actually following through with your "prank."

You lightly smacked the top of his skull with the pillow; not nearly hard enough to hurt of course, just to get his attention.

"Vibe check."

He was startled more than you'd expected and sort of jumped to get away from your rather pathetic assault. His eyelights flickered wildly before focusing on you and his expression morphed into one of annoyance.

"what are you-!?"

You hushed him with an outstretched finger and pursed your lips in a thoughtful way. "Hm...your vibe seems...annoyed and bewildered," you said in the most serious tone you could muster.

"no kidding! do you have no survival instincts or something?!" Dust growled.

You tilted your head and pretended to think for a moment. "Huh... Considering Axe once asked me pretty much the same question, no... I think they're probably broken, at least when it comes to skeletons anyways."

He stared at you in disbelief before collapsing back against the backrest of the couch. "well that explains a lot..." he muttered and ran a gloved hand over his face.

You frowned slightly as you studied him. It really bothered you to see him, or anyone for that matter, upset like this. He'd come here on purpose though so that must mean he actually wanted to be with you. However, you were a little confused why, as he hadn't been exactly nice in the few interactions you'd had so far with him.

Sitting down on the couch next to him, you reached over and gently put your hand on his arm. "I'm sorry for scaring you like that just now, Dust. If you need to talk about whatever's bothering you, I'm here, okay?"

He shook his skull and remained silent.

You stayed there for a few seconds but when he didn't respond further, you decided to let it go. You'd tried, but if he didn't want to tell you, then you couldn't make him. Just as you withdrew your hand though, he seemed to realize that you'd actually touched him and his mismatched eyelights flicked over to you.

"how do you do that?"

"Do what?"

He vaguely gestured with his hands in the space between you two. "that...thing... how..." He seemed to be having a hard time articulating his thoughts all of the sudden. "how do you make your intent so...gentle...?"

Now you were also confused. "I don't know? Is it not usually like that?"

He stared at you blankly like you'd just asked an incredibly dumb question. "no...it's not. most humans only utilize it to attack other people."

"Oh."

"did someone teach you or something?"

You shook your head slowly. "No...? I don't have magic so I wasn't ever considered for mage training."

"so you just do this? like all the time and you never noticed? in fact, not even a monster noticed before now?" His tone of voice sounded skeptical but there was also a twinge of disbelief.

"I suppose so..." You crossed your arms when his jaw fell open slightly in shock. "What? I don't have any monster friends besides you and Axe, okay? I'm basically a shut in except for when I need to go to work or go shopping."

"wow...you're actually crazy..." He shook his skull and lightly massaged his temples. "my headache is only getting worse just listening to you..."

"Oh, is that what's bothering you then?" you asked, purposely ignoring his insult.

Dust sighed and frowned at you. "it's one thing i guess...among many others..." he muttered.

You gave him a warm smile in return. "If it'll help you feel better to tell someone, I don't mind."

He muttered something unintelligible and quickly looked away.

"Sorry?"

"fine... just...give me your hand back..." he grumbled.

You raised an eyebrow but held out your hand again.

He hesitated and then reached over, wrapping his pinkie finger around your own. You didn't make any comment and just waited patiently.

"do you know what lv is?"

His voice sounded rather hollow all of the sudden, like all previous emotions had bled away, and you felt a small chill pass down your spine. You did know what LV was, or at least you vaguely knew, thanks to general magic education in school anyways.

"Yeah," you murmured. "Levels of Violence, right?"

He nodded slowly. "do you know what happens to someone with too much lv?"

You didn't like where he was going with this, but you had basically promised to listen to whatever he had to say and weren't about to back out now.

"I'm afraid I don't... They never covered it in school beyond how bad it was to get."

He let out a bitter sounding laugh. "figures..."

A few moments passed before he spoke again. "it's like an addiction... once you have some, you want more, and more, and more... and if you don't get more...well, you go through withdrawals."

You grimaced at the mental picture his rambling brought on. It sounded awful to go through and you couldn't help the immense wave of concern for him that washed over you.

"So, that's why you came here?" you asked.

"yeah..." he murmured, although his voice sounded a little hoarse all of the sudden. "my skull feels like it's gonna explode and my idiot colleague was being annoying."

"Can I try to help you?"

He looked over at you again with surprise almost plastered across his skull. It disappeared quickly and he regained his trademark neutral expression.

"sure, whatever, knock yourself out..." he said with a shrug.

You went to stand up but hesitated when you realized his pinky was still linked with yours. He noticed as well and quickly pulled his hand away, ducking further into his hoodie as he did so. You restrained yourself from teasing him over this school kid behaviour, for now anyways.

First thing on the agenda was to make the room darker and you turned out the lights except for the one in the kitchen for now. It wasn't too dark outside yet, although you didn't want to potentially trip over something when it did get.

"Do you want some water or maybe tea?"

"water's fine."

"And do you prefer an ice pack or a hot bean bag?"

He seemed to mull this over for a moment. "ice pack would be better," he finally said with a shrug.

You disappeared into the kitchen to prepare the items. The ice pack was easy to prepare and the glass of water was even easier. After you'd wrapped the ice pack in a soft cloth, you returned to the living room with the water.

Dust glanced up when you approached but said nothing. You sat down and gave him the items, which he excepted and downed half the water in moments.

You couldn't help but stare at him as he did so. Where did the liquid go? Was he like a bottomless pit or something?

He quickly noticed your staring and shot you a weird look. "what?"

You felt your cheeks heat up from embarrassment and shook your head. "Sorry...I was just thinking is all," you muttered.

A moment later though, you had a question. "Would a head massage be of any benefit for you?"

He seemed actually intrigued by this and pondered it over for a moment. "can't hurt i suppose."

"Then just turn a little so I can actually reach you, okay?"

You spent the next few hours just sitting together in relative silence. Dust was surprisingly mellow considering your first encounter and he basically just tolerated whatever you did. When supper time came, you got up to go make something for the both of you.

He was gone when you turned to ask if he had any particular food preferences though.

[yourpalmickeymouse]

Howdy Mickey!

How'd you come across Donald and Goofy?

Y'know, your two best friends, I mean you have a lotta best friends but they're the best of the best!

Howdy hatred-n-hav0c,

You're definitely right that Donald and Goofy are my best of best friends. Whenever we're together, I feel like I'm part of an unstoppable team. I couldn't have asked for better pals.

I actually met Donald when I was a part of the Junior Woodchucks when I was much younger. There was a regional summer camp-off where Junior Woodchucks from all around Calisota would meet. They had us split into groups of two, as sort of a buddy system, and guess who I was paired up with... Not Donald. It was another kid actually. But he ended up getting sick and had to go home early. So I was then paired with the only kid without a buddy, Donald.

We initially didn't get along as we butted heads and pulled some pretty nasty pranks on each other. We were both kinda troublemakers 😈 if you could believe it ha ha. But when the Official Junior Woodchuck End of Camp Competition rolled up as well as some potential sightings of Bigfoot, we learned to put aside our differences and work together... We didn't win or even see Bigfoot. But I think we got something even more valuable 😉. After that, we found that we actually had a lot of similar interests, like cameras and fishing. And we've been friends ever since, writin' letters to each other or even visitin' each other's hometowns.

I know some people like to give Donald flak for his temper or his bad luck. But he's one of the bravest most hardworkin' people I know. I believe a lot of his rage comes from the fact that he cares so much and wants life to be fair not just for him, but for everyone.

As for Goofy, I actually met him a little bit later. Or at least I think I did. Goofy is a little bit older than us, so while we were teens, he was a young adult just startin' in life. He actually worked as a janitor at the high school and college I went to. To be honest, a lot of people saw Goofy as well... goofy and didn't give him the time of day. But that never really discouraged him as he was always confident in who he was and was friendly with everyone he met.

Unfortunately, I hate to admit I was kinda in that crowd who didn't really see much in him😓. What could I say, I was a teen just followin' the crowd. But one day I was down in the dumps at school and you wanna know who came to comfort me. It was Goofy. It was at that moment that I found how truly wise, kind, and dependable he was. He just knew exactly what to say and was even willin' to drop everything and help me out with the problem. After that, I started to treat him differently and we quickly became close friends. I even help him babysit Max when he came into the picture 😊.

Honestly Goofy is a friend I really need at times. Whenever an issue seems too complex to handle, he somehow can find the simplest solution where you wouldn't even think to look. He also has such a huge heart and is willin' to do anything to support anyone in need.

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Ten characters of your choosing meeting a bitty version of themselves?

Undertale Sans - Welp. Sans first makes Papyrus freak out by making him believe he's all tiny now. That's very effective as before Sans can do anything, his brother runs with his bitty self to Alphys' lab, who calls the entire Royal Family, who calls the entirety of the Royal Guard to see if any other monsters are affected. When Sans appears and says it was all a prank, there's a long silence, then everyone starts to scream at him as he's just cackling hysterically with his new Bitty. That's a pretty good day.

Undertale Papyrus - He has no idea how it happens but he's too attached anyway after two minutes to ask the bitty to leave. He's going to show off so hard to Undyne. I mean, that's pretty cool. He spends the rest of the day making tiny cool matching clothes for his bitty.

Underswap Sans - He's so happy he found someone who can match his energy, even if this person is just a tiny version of himself and that's very weird. They both go to run in the park and flex in front of Alphys to make her jealous that he has a tiny new cool buddy and not her. That ends up with Alphys kidnapping the bitty and Blue running after her through the entire town to get it back, while his bitty is riding on her head, screaming with excitement.

Underswap Papyrus - He's in awe. He pets his bitty head, unsure what to do with it, and then the bitty just flops in his hand purring for more, looking so happy. Honey is dead. He's never giving it back. The bitty got instantly adopted.

Underfell Sans - Urgh. He's so annoyed. The bitty won't stop following him everywhere, trying to attack him or bite his ankles. Red just wants to nap and keeps ignoring him until he has an idea. Doomfanger hates him. So there's a high chance she hates the bitty as well, and since he's so little, he should have peace forever. He opens the door of hell to his brother's cat. Doomfanger instantly jumps for his face, totally ignoring the bitty. Now Red is on the floor, the face clawed by the feline and the bitty biting his legs, screaming he's going to tear them off. Greaaaat.

Underfell Papyrus -

Both he and the bitty gasp, offended. There can obviously be only one version of themself, and the other is obviously an impostor. Now both of them are growling at each other for simply existing and they won't hesitate to attack each other if the other becomes a threat. Where it's funny is when Red walks in, and sees his brother growling like a wild animal at a tiny version of himself throwing tiny pathetic bones to his face. He takes a photo and leaves.

Horrortale Sans - He's scared. That's hilarious. Oak is hiding above the table, looking at the tiny bitty roaming around in fear. He doesn't know why he's scared. He could literally just walk on the thing and kill it. It just does. The bitty didn't even notice him, just climbing the furniture to eat on the dish Willow ended just a few minutes ago. Oak waits in safety for his brother to rescue him. He doesn't like it. He feels no man or animal, but that thing, it's scary.

Horrortale Papyrus - Willow was wondering for a while where all of his pickles went before he found this tiny version of himself, mouth full of pickles. Tiny Willow growled at him as he started to scowl him and insisted he should ask before borrowing his food. Tiny Willow doesn't break eye contact and slowly puts another pickle in his mouth. Willow gasps, offended.

Swapfell Sans - When Nox is coming home after he left his bitty with his brother, he found Rus crawling on the floor, crying like a baby. You thought Nox was judgemental, wait to meet the bitty version, so much worst than he is. He already traumatized Alphys and Toriel, that's enough! Nox decides to have a talk with him that ends with a deep introspection about how a coward he is for still working for the Queen despite all she did to him, somehow. Nox goes back into the living room and curls up next to his brother to cry.

Swapfell Papyrus - Both claimed to be the best pranker and now it's an eternal war of pranks. There are whoopee cushions everywhere, net traps, trapped sinks, showers and toilets... Nox is slowly losing his mind, falling for every one of them. Rus and his bitty never felt so accomplished before, they're ready to ruin everyone's day, neighbors, friends, family. They're bored and they're going to make it everyone's problem.

Fellswap Gold Sans - Oh god no, there are two of them now. That's pretty much everyone's reaction around them. Tiny Wine is maybe tiny, but he is still bossing everyone around, screaming with an even more high-pitched voice. It's insufferable. Wine never got so many attempted murders in one day. Everyone wants to end him and his damn bitty. Wine thinks it's very entertaining.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - Cuddle buddy! Coffee is a bit frustrated his bitty is all tiny, but at least he loves hugs as much as he does. They spend the day in bed, cuddling each other happily until Wine, worry he had not seen him during the day comes to check if he's not dead. Coffee tried to drag him in the cuddle session, but like usual, Wine said he has too much work, so he pouted the rest of the day with his bitty, locked in his room.

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 2

Epsiode 14: Grave Danger

~The Man Cave~

(y/n) had decided that since Henry and Charlotte had been working so hard lately (and had been to an actual parallel universe and stuff) they deserved a treat. A trip to their favourite burger joint downtown on her, they could order whatever the hell they wanted and it was a blast!

The three friends were giggling and laughing with one another all the way down to the Man Cave and were so engrossed in their conversation, they only realised that something was wrong the second they stepped out of the elevator. 

For starters, Ray was sobbing and moaning and crying on the couch, looking completely miserable, probably because his underwear was stuck to the walls, everywhere. And I mean, everywhere; every wall had been target, every surface possible and Ray seemed pretty upset about it, making (y/n) drop her smile immediately and rush over to him. His sadness was her sadness and it broke her heart to see him like that.

"Ray, sweetheart, what's wrong?" She asked in her most comforting tone, as she and the kids tentatively stepped towards him. 

"Ray, why are you crying?" Henry added, but the sudden arrival of his friends made Ray sniff and dry his eyes as he didn't want anyone to see him cry, especially his sweet girl. She went and sat beside him, her hand reaching for his and it helped to stop his snuffling, even if he was still a bit teary. (y/n) studied his face as he refused to make eye contact. It was killing her to see him hold back his emotions in front of her, she wanted him to be as honest and open because she'd never judge him.

"Yeah, and why is your underwear stuck all over the place?" Charlotte asked, frowning at the sight of the new "wall ornaments". 

(y/n) gulped as she too took a quick look around, but scolded herself when her filthy mind started to drift onto something else. Give her a break, it's not like she would ever get to see his underwear, he did that part of his laundry on his own and she'd never get with him, so she might as well look while she can.

"I don't know!" He wailed, bursting into floods of tears again, causing his girl to grab a tissue from her purse and dab his soggy cheeks. 

"Oh, Ray..." She whimpered, feeling like his emotions were rubbing off on her. All she wanted to do was kiss it all better.

"Come on, buddy. I promise, we'll figure out who did this to your underpants and we'll get them." Henry said, swearing revenge on whoever pulled such a mean prank on his boss. No one deserved this kind of humiliation, especially not when they were living with and trying to impress a pretty girl.

"No, don't you see?" He sniffed as the kids sat down, his heart pulling in two different directions as (y/n) placed a tender hand on his knee and put her arm around his shoulders. He was loving her touch and was so grateful for her attempts to comfort him, but he also felt...silly. His underwear was on the walls all around and here he was blubbering in front of her and needing her to make him feel better. What kind of protector does that?

"Ray, what don't we see?" Her honeyed voice asked gently, trying to soothe him but rubbing small circles on his back and squeezing his knee.

"I did this. I did it all by myself." He told them in a shaky voice, wailing as his emotions got the best of him. 

"But why?" Charlotte question, wondering what had driven him to do such a thing in a communal living space.

"You tell me! I took a nap, right here, waiting for (y/n) to get home safely and when I woke up, this bottle was in my hand and the underwear was stuck all over the place." Ray cried, not seeing how (y/n) melted at his confession. He always waited up for her or stuck around until she got home and never failed to make her smile softly to herself. It made her feel special.

"Okay, okay, maybe you were just sleepwalking," Henry suggested, having heard loads of stories online of people doing crazy stuff whilst sleeping.

"Maybe. 'Cause, this isn't the first time something like this has happened." Ray revealed, making his best friend look at him with a confused, pointed look. Say what now?

"What? Raymond, what haven't you told me? What's happening?" She asked, shifting her body so she could look directly at his face and nothing else. He couldn't meet her eyes, he hadn't lied to her per se, but he didn't tell her about all the stuff that had been happening lately either. He just didn't want her to worry, her nerves were so fragile so he thought it best to keep it bottled up.

"The other night, I woke up at four in the morning and do you know what was in the bed with me?" He asked the kids as his stomach twisted from the intense gaze (y/n) was giving him.

"Was it Schwoz's pig?" Charlotte asked, knowing that it liked to roam around the Man Cave. Her first guess was actually (y/n), but she figured that if she said that, she'd have to watch the couple melt into goo. Yeah, they often crashed in Ray's room because of the luxurious mattress and the fact that they always slept better together, but that didn't mean anything, right?

"I wish. But no, I woke up and I found myself lying in my own spaghetti." He said in a distraught voice, but the explanation puzzled everyone.

"I'm sorry, what?" Henry asked, thoroughly confused with what he had said. He woke up in bed with spaghetti?

"Wait, are you talking about that big pot of spaghetti we made earlier that morning?" (y/n) asked as she turned around to watch him frantically pace next to the auto-snacker. 

"Yeah, and when I woke up, it was all around me in my bed...there were meatballs in my pyjamas." He confessed, putting his hand over his mouth to keep in his sobs. (y/n) reached up to him as he leaned on the back of the couch and softly stroked his head, hating how wobbly his bottom lip was. He was just thankful that she hadn't been snoozing with him or she'd have been spaghettied too and he was certain she'd never had gone in his room again. 

"All right, just calm down," Charlotte told him in a flat voice, not knowing how to handle the emotional man. Thank God they had (y/n), she was the expert, but even her knowledgeable hand couldn't keep him completely calm.

"I can't calm down! I'm losing it. I put things down and when I look for them, I can't find them. And I'm losing my balance too, I keep tripping over things that aren't there. I'm falling down for no reason. Oh, look at my underwear, it's on the walls! That's not where underwear should be." Ray rambled himself into a frenzied mental state, his panic locking him into the mindset that he was crazy, which made (y/n) whimper at how upset he was.

"All right...whoa, whoa, (y/n) get over here!" Henry called for backup as he spooked his boss as he laid a hand on his shoulder to snap him out of the trance and the boy knew Ray needed his girl at this crucial moment.

"Okay, okay. Hey, hey, yeah, you're all right, sweetheart. Now, listen to me, I want you to go to your room..." The young woman dashed over and put both hands on Ray's cheeks, making his terrified eyes look into that familiar (y/e/c) colour that was her gentle gaze. 

"Okay." He agreed, feeling much better now that his girl was with him. 

"...right now, and take a long nap." She told him, her expression getting all confused again when his face contorted in pain. What now?

"There's spaghetti in my bed." He whined sadly, dropping his head into the crook of her neck so he could try and use the scent of her perfume to calm himself down. And it gave him a good excuse to feel her soft skin against his as his arms wrapped around her waist and lifted her to her tiptoes as he hugged her tightly.

"Okay, easy, easy, now. I'll go clean your bed and you can sleep in mine, 'kay?" She told him softly, absent-mindedly brushing her fingers through his hair and his hiccuping and choked sobs slowed down.

"But that's your bed, I'll get my smell on it." He whined, thinking that whilst he loved to smell her shampoo on his pillows for days after she had fallen asleep next to him, it didn't necessarily mean she felt the same. He'd die before he made her feel uncomfortable in his home.

"Doofus, I don't care, please just take a nap in my room." The young woman insisted, hoping that she'd be able to smell his cologne on her sheets. She'd sleep so much better if he did.

"Okay, I'll sleep in (y/n)'s room." He mumbled to himself, walking off towards the sprocket, but when he tried to go up the stairs, he tripped over nothing, just like he had described. Weird. 

"Did one of you three just push me?" He pointed a shaking finger at his friends, who looked slightly offended at the accusation. Did he really think they'd do something so cruel?

"No, we were right here." Henry and Charlotte stuttered, feeling utterly confused about what was going on.

"Wahhhhh, what's happening to me? I'm a disaster!" Ray hiccuped as he crawled up the steps, only to burst into more tears when he somehow tripped up the stairs again. God, this was difficult to watch, particularly when he blew his nose on a pair of his underpants. 

"Okay, you clearly need some assistance." (y/n) sighed and jogged up to the sprocket, and knelt down on the floor next to Ray, who had once again tripped over and was now lying flat on his back. She gazed down at him softly, putting her hand into his. She didn't know what was wrong, but she wanted to help him through it, no matter what.

"What am I going to do with you, Ray Manchester?..." She trailed off at the end when she could've sworn that a puff of warm air was breathed down her neck. She shivered in fear, but when she turned around, there was nothing or no one there. Okay, that's it, the Man Cave is haunted.

"(y/n/n), what's wrong?" Ray asked her when she didn't speak for a minute and frowned when he saw her anxiously looking around the room.

"Nothing, it's nothing. Come on, let's go have a nap." She dismissed his concerns quickly, thinking that the strange phenomenon was probably her mind playing tricks on her. A very mean trick, but a trick nonetheless. The couple sloped off to her room so they hide under the safety of her blankets, leaving Henry and Charlotte alone with their boss's underwear. One thing's for certain, Charlotte wasn't going anywhere near it, so it looked like Henry was the one tasked when prising it from the walls.

~Later that day~

Well, things were still a mess at the Man Cave. Ray was a nervous wreck and it was starting to affect (y/n) too. She could swear that there were eyes on her at all times, but there was no one else around. The thought just made her shiver, she was in the Man Cave with her not-boyfriend, where she was safe. No need to panic.

"Hey, sup?" Henry greeted Schwoz, Charlotte and (y/n) at the supercomputer as he strolled in from the elevator. Charlotte had told him to get his ass to the Man Cave asap because she believed that she had found something to explain why all the weird crap was happening. Sure, Henry had to stop watching Dog Judge and leave Jasper to play with his walkie-talkies by himself, but he was too curious and too kind not to help out his boss.

"Hello, Henry." Schwoz smiled at him warmly as (y/n) nervously bit her bottom lip. She had left Ray to nap in her bed and had made sure to check the room for anything suspicious, but she couldn't see anything.

"Hurry, come on." Charlotte encouraged the young boy over to the monitor.

"Did you figure out what's wrong with Ray?" Henry asked worriedly as he patted (y/n) on the back. She looked so stressed, hopefully, if they could help Ray, they could help her too.

"I don't think anything's wrong with Ray." The young girl told them, making (y/n) frown. 

"Come again?" She asked. It wasn't like she thought her best friend was crazy, but she wanted an answer that her scientific mind could get behind.

"Check this out. You're about to see the security camera footage from two days ago, here in the Man Cave." Charlotte told them as she played a video of Ray working out. Not a bad thing for (y/n) to watch, she loved to see him work out, flexing his muscles and being all macho.

But the video wasn't particularly hot, it was sort of sad because they watched as Ray lifted the extremely heavy weights, but when he went to sit on the bench, it slid underneath him and he fell on the floor. 

"Poor Ray." (y/n) whispered to herself, feeling her heart ache as she heard him groaning in pain on the video.

"Now, watch in slow-mootion," Schwoz told her and Henry in his funny accent, making them look at him weirdly.

"Slow-motion." Henry corrected him, sounding out the "oh" in the middle, which turned into a mini-lesson as Henry tried to get him to say it properly.

"For god's sake, just play the clip in slow-mootion." (y/n) said, ignoring the boys and their silly talk. She just wanted to see what was so weird about this video.

"Now, watch when I zoom in on the bench," Charlotte told them and they all gasped when they saw the bench slide to the left as if by magic. Wait a second...

"Whoaaaa, it looked like that bench moved by itself." Henry breathed out, not seeing how (y/n) had begun to sweat and hyperventilate next to him. She had a sneaking suspicion where this was going and the thought made her sick. After all, benches don't move by themselves.

"Yeah." Schwoz agreed, as the young woman rubbed her trembling hands together and tried to take some deep breaths. Ray, she needed Ray.

"Okay, what's going on here?" Henry asked, no one hearing the superhero approaching the sprocket.

"Well, I think it might be—" Charlotte tried to tell them, but Ray interrupted as he appeared in the room. All of his friends were together, huddling in a circle and probably talking about him, this didn't feel good to him.

"Hey, I thought I heard you guys. What are you doing here so late—Argh!!!" Ray screamed as he took a nasty tumble from the sprocket opening, down the stairs and ledge and onto the floor by the supercomputer. He groaned in pain as his helper swallowed her nerves and ran to his side, helping him up with shaking hands.

"Oh my god, Ray..." She breathed out at him instinctively scanning him for injuries, even though he was the indestructible Captain Man.

"What is wrong with me?" He asked his friends sadly as Henry and Schwoz assisted in pulling him to his feet. (y/n) grabbed hold of his hand to settle her anxiety, but she was still afraid as to what Charlotte was gonna say.

"Well, I think you're problem could be...Invisible Brad." Charlotte revealed, making Henry and Schwoz gasp as (y/n) glued herself to Ray's side in terror, her hands tightly clutching his shirt as she pressed herself into his chest and his arms came to curl around her trembling form.

"No, no, no, not him, anyone but him." She whimpered into his shirt as she screwed her eyes shut and tried to forget everything that Brad had done to her and her friends in the past. 

"Pfffft, what? No way, Invisible Brad is dead! He got hit by a bus, I went to his funeral, so stop worrying, sweet girl." Ray scoffed as he cradled the terrified girl in his arms, hoping he could convince her that she was safe. He wouldn't let anything happen to her, he had promised himself that that bastard would never hurt her again.

"Well, did you see him at the funeral?" Henry asked, mocking the way he had spoken the words whilst holding his girl. She was still squishing her face into his chest so it's not like she saw anything anyway.

"Yes, it was an open casket. I walked right up and looked inside." The large man told them, thinking that this theory was whack, but (y/n) had something to say about that.

"Oh, yeah? What did you see in the casket, doofus?" She questioned in a small voice, briefly looking up at him despite her instincts telling her to run and hide. It's not like Brad could injure her anymore, but he was still the creepiest dude she'd ever met, so she would never feel safe with him around.

"Nothing," Ray said softly, stroking her back with a large, warm hand. It was his go-to technique for getting her to calm down.

"Ah-ha!" Charlotte cried at the revelation. She knew that Brad was back, she just needed her friends to believe her, then they could deal with him once and for all.

"Well, he's invisible." Ray rolled his eyes, still not convinced that Brad was who they were dealing with. He believed (y/n)'s fear was genuine, but he also thought that she had been led on by Charlotte's wild theories.

"And creepy, don't forget that bit." (y/n)'s muffled voice said against his chest, making him let out a breathy chuckle as she decided that she was safe, for now, and pulled away. She still stayed close to him though, choosing to hug his arm instead.

"Maybe, Invisible Brad is not dead." Charlotte proposed, making the woman whine again. The world just seemed a whole lot scarier with her stalker back on the streets.

"All right," Ray said, knowing that he had to see this for himself. He pressed a kiss to his girl's head and she slowly released his arm from her iron grip, even if she didn't want to see him go. He had to do what he had to do.

"What are you gonna do?" Charlotte asked as (y/n) folded her arms around herself. She wasn't sleeping tonight that's for sure.

"We're going to the Swellview cemetery," Ray said, although he pronounced cemetery wrong.

"Ce-met-ery." Henry corrected him, thinking that his way of saying the word was just plain wrong.

"Well, both pronunciations are acceptable. Ray argued, not wanting to let this one go.

"Well, I think you're wrong." The boy retorted, making Schwoz and Charlotte roll their eyes with (y/n). Children, they worked with children.

"White shadow to sweet kumquat, white shadow to sweet kumquat, over?" Henry's hand flew to his pocket as Jasper's voice came from his walkie-talkie. He really picked his moments.

"Here, Charlotte. You talk to Jasper." Henry chucked the walkie-talkie to his friend as he and Ray chewed their gum.

"Uh, hang on, Jasper." The girl spoke into the device, hoping that Jasper was listening.

"Yeah, sweet kumquat is busy." (y/n) chuckled as Henry glared at her, but let it go since he was relieved to see her laughing and joking around. If Brad was behind this, he would make sure he wouldn't scare his best friend.

"Let's go, kid." Ray nodded to Henry once they had transformed into their super suits. They ran to the tubepad and slapped their belts, but Charlotte didn't want to be stuck with Jasper on the radio all day.

"Wait...catch!" She smirked as she threw the walkie-talkie back to Henry.

"No, no, Charlotte, you keep the walkie-talkie." Henry stuttered as he tried to throw it back, but it was too late the tubes had already been lowered and they were seconds from lift-off.

"Good luck." (y/n) smiled at Ray sweetly as his face disappeared up the tube. She prayed that he was right; Brad being alive spelt only one thing: trouble.

~Swellview Cemetery~

So, Ray had decided that he didn't feel like doing any digging that evening, so he had left Henry to do all the hard work. Yep, the poor kid had to shift six feet of dirt to get to Brad's coffin and he was starting to get pissed off at how Ray was just lying next to the hole, snacking.

"Wow. Look at the stars. You ever just look up at the stars and think, hey stars, I'm better than you?" The superhero mentioned as Henry shovelled the last of the earth to the side. He couldn't give a crap about the stars, he just wanted to sit down.

"Okay, I've finished." He panted, letting his exhausted arms have a break. Man, he was beat.

"What? You're done digging?" Ray asked in surprise, his voice garbled from his mouthful of food.

"Yeah, I'm done digging. All by myself, while you laid there, looking at the stars and stuffing your face with fruit grapes!" Henry hissed at his boss, chucking the shovel to the side angrily.

"Who calls them fruit grapes?" Ray scoffed, thinking that you don't say "fruit apple" or "banana fruit".

"I do," Henry told him, not seeing anything wrong with the way he spoke.

"Well, it's weird." Ray retorted, his jibes not helping Henry's irritated mood. He wouldn't like it when the kid snitched to (y/n) that he was being a dick.

"Whatever. The deal was I dig the dirt, you lift Brad's casket out of the hole." Henry reminded him of when they shook on the deal. He was strong for a boy of his age and size but he wasn't so strong he could lift a well-built, sturdy coffin. Plus, he found the idea of touching someone's resting place a bit spooky.

"All right. Move." Ray nodded a stood up and at the same time, revealed that he had brought along a little gadget to help him lift the casket. He didn't want to do any work, he'd been having a hard time lately, he didn't want to strain himself more.

"Whoa, man. You brought the anti-grav?" Henry asked his boss as he recognised the glowing stick. Ray kneeled and locked it to the casket, switching the device on so he could easily lift the immense weight.

"Yeah." He grunted as the coffin floated up, feeling no heavier than a feather.

"Wait, I just spent two hours digging a six-foot deep hole and now, all you gotta do is lift the casket with the anti-grav, which takes no effort?" Henry frowned at the devious superhero, who had already placed the casket on the grass next to the hole.

"Yeah," Ray smirked, thinking that he had just been smart. Why work when there's an easier solution?

"I had to struggle and you just laid there and daydreamed about (y/n) and her eyes and her butt and other gross stuff..." Henry cringed and shivered as he imagined Ray's thoughts, traumatising himself into feeling a bit nauseous. 

"Shut up!" Ray blushed at his sidekick's words, feeling like he had been caught out. He couldn't help it if his filthy mind often drifted to his girl and her...finer features. He wanted her, even if he could never have her.

"Anyway, you ready?" The superhero cleared his throat and looked at the coffin. This was gonna get creepy, but then again, Brad always made things creepy.

"I guess." Henry swallowed his fear and stepped to the coffin so they could both lift the lid. They groaned from the strain, but they finally got it open, peering inside to see...nothing. Well, duh, he was invisible, looks like they'd have to reach in and check somehow.

"We should...feel inside." Henry stammered, not wanting to be the one to feel a human skull if Brad really was in there.

"You feel inside," Ray instructed his sidekick, also not wanting to stick his hand in something as unnerving as the place where a dead person was laying.

"Okay, okay, the first one to say "not it", doesn't have to feel inside, so—" Henry was cut off as Ray said the magic words, leaving it up to Henry to do the deed. Ah, geez, he didn't get paid enough for this.

"Okay, we'll both feel inside." Ray proposed, neither of them seeing how Brad had picked up Henry's shovel and was stalking towards them. So he was alive, oh god...

"Okay." Henry nodded and they both bent over to reach in, but they nearly died from shock as a sinister voice called out behind them. 

"Looking for me?" Brad asked rhetorically, his voice full of hate and revenge for Captain Man, the man who ruined his life and took away the girl he wanted.

"Ahhhhh!" Ray and Henry screamed in terror as they felt the nearby air to see if Brad was around them, but they were caught out as he whacked them from behind with the shovel. They both fell into the coffin and Brad chuckled evilly as he closed the lid. 

"Nighty-night." He quipped as the lid closed and Henry and Ray banged on the wooden walls. It was claustrophobic in there, to say the least.

"Yeah, nail, nail, nail, nail, nail...and now, I'll just lift up the casket and down you boys go. Have a nice rest of your lives, jerks. Hope you're comfy in there." Brad chuckled maniacally as he nailed the coffin shut, lifted it back into the hole and began to replace the dirt that had been dug out. Oh, shit.

"I think Charlotte was right. Invisible Brad is alive." Ray whispered to Henry as they lay next to each other in the cramped space. His heart was beating rapidly as he realised that with Brad back, (y/n) wasn't safe and that terrified him more than the situation he was in.

"What was your first clue?" Henry asked sarcastically, annoyed that he was trapped in there with Captain Genius. Ray nudged his arm in frustration as they heard Brad chuck shovelfuls of dirt onto the box they were stuck in and they both gulped. This wasn't good at all.

"Brad, Brad, this isn't funny!" Ray banged against the "ceiling", but his pleading fell on deaf ears. Brad didn't care if they were freaking out, he wanted to take his sweet revenge.

"Just a little more...one more scoop. Oh, that's pretty." Brad dropped the shovel as he admired his work. With Captain Man and Kid Danger out of the way, he could now carry out the second part of his plan.

"See ya, ballerinas! I'm off to see my girl. Oh yeah, that's right, Ray. With you gone, (y/n) is gonna need a new boyfriend and I'll be the one she turns to." Brad taunted the large man, who had started to furiously pound against the box with Henry.

"No, wait, Brad! Come back!" Henry yelled at the top of his voice, hoping that by some miracle, the deranged guy would let them out.

"Brad! Come back here, I mean it! Don't you dare touch her!" Ray growled as his rage began to burn at the thought of the man comforting his girl and stealing her away. Not that she'd ever go for him, he knew she hated him and the idea of him closing in on the Man Cave made his blood boil and heart hurt. Yes, she wasn't physically vulnerable, but Brad was unpredictable and wouldn't stop at any length to take away the woman he loved.

Not being able to see in the pitch black, Ray panted and strained, but managed to get a light above their heads.

"At least now, we can see." He said, struggling to get air into his body as the supply became limited. They couldn't stay in here for very long, well, Ray could because he was indestructible, but Henry would die after a few minutes.

"What are you doing?" Ray asked as he felt the boy wriggling and squirming next to him. He realised how nice it was to have your own space as he struggled to move in the tiny box.

"I'm trying to get my phone," Henry told him and Ray nodded at the good idea. 

"Oh, yeah, I'll get mine." The man reached down to his utility belt and struggled to unclimbed his phone. Even if he couldn't call for help, he at least wanted to tell (y/n) to get herself to safety before Brad could reach the Man Cave.

The two began to argue as their movements restricted one another and they complained as they grasped their phones, but couldn't find the room to pull them out. Geez, this was sucky.

"I'm first in seniority." Ray snapped, making Henry screw up his nose in annoyance. What had that got to do with anything? The superheroes managed to get their phones to their faces eventually but were disappointed with the results.

"No signal. How about you?" Henry sighed. They were too deep for the reception to reach them, and it rendered his phone practically useless unless he wanted to spend his last few minutes playing a game or taking selfies.

"Mine's dead. Forgot to charge it last night." Ray admitted, leaving out the part that he had forgotten because he had stayed up until 2 AM watching movies with (y/n). She was way more interesting than his dumb phone and he had drifted off to sleep to the thought of her and him, together on a beach, walking hand in hand as golden rings glinted in the dying light of the sunset.

"And now we're trapped in the middle of the Swellview Cemetery, six feet under the ground," Henry whined as he and Ray continued to fidget in the confined space.

"Thanks for clearing that up, 'cause I thought we were at the Taylor Swift concert in New Mexico." Ray hissed in response, his emotions getting the best of him as his panic grew. 

"Hey, it's not cool to be sarcastic whilst we're buried alive!" Henry snapped back, also feeling too frustrated to take some stick and not saying anything about it. He was in a life or death situation and all the while his friends were about to get a surprise visit from Nutjob Brad.

"White shadow to Prancing Pony, White shadow to Prancing Pony, over?" The two stopped squabbling when the last voice they had ever expected to be happy to hear sounded in the coffin. Holy shit, it was Jasper on the walkie-talkie!

"What's that?" Ray asked as he failed to recognise the voice over the warbled signal.

"It's my petite walkie-talkie!" Henry smiled happily, feeling overjoyed to have been the one Jasper had picked to be his radio buddy. Thank god he didn't leave it with Charlotte or they would've been in deep shit.

"Who's Prancing Pony?" Ray asked in confusion. Obviously, he hadn't been listening to what was happening in the Man Cave earlier. 

"I'm Prancing Pony, I'm Prancing Pony!" Henry felt dunk on happiness and he reached down to his pocket to grab their saving grace.

"Hello, hey, Jasper? Can you hear me?" He panted into the walkie-talkie as he started to feel lightheaded. The air was quickly disappearing and they need to get out sharpish.

"Can you hear me, over?" Henry growled irritatedly as he realised that Jasper always required him to say the stupid "over" bit. Geez, he was about to die, he didn't have time to fanny about.

"Yeah, I copy ya, over." The two supers breathed a sigh of relief as they made contact. These walkie-talkies were good if the signal could reach underground. 

"Okay, listen, listen. I'm trapped underground in the Swellview Cemetery. I'm in a box with Capta—my boss, Ray, from Junk-N-Stuff. Now, the headstone above us says "Here lies Bradley Belcher". Now, I need you to get a shovel, find a way to get here and dig us out!" Henry instructed him, making sure to catch himself before he revealed that he was with Captain Man. That would make headlines in the morning if word got out.

"When?" Jasper asked, not realising that time was of the essence.

"How about before we run out of air and slowly die?!" Ray hissed as he snatched the walkie-talkie from Henry's fingers. This kid really knew how to test his patience. 

"O-Okay, I'll get there as quick as I can. White Shadow out." Jasper's voice crackled out as he dashed off to get himself ready and luckily (or not so luckily) he would have Piper to help him.

~In the Man Cave~

"Oh god, oh god, where are they?" (y/n) ranted nervously as she paced around the supercomputer area. She had taken the liberty of donning her super suit just to make herself feel a little better, but without Ray or Henry back home safely, she couldn't switch off her worry.

"Come on, Henry, Ray..." Charlotte mumbled to herself and Schwoz as they anxiously tapped on the computer, looking for any signal or sign as to where the pair might be. They had lost contact ages ago and they were all starting to panic, especially (y/n). 

"I bet that invisible freak is behind this, I just know it." (y/n) hissed to them as she put her hands on her hips and chewed her lip. Her gut told her that Brad had his dirty mitts all over the situation and her adrenaline was sky-high, waiting for a fight. He scared the shit out of her, but if he had hurt one hair on Henry or Ray's head, so help her, there would be hell to pay.

"Relax, there's nothing to worry about." Schwoz tried to keep her calm, despite his own niggling sense that something wasn't right. But he could show her his concern, that would just make her tremble more.

"It's been two hours, why won't they respond?" Charlotte pondered out loud, not meaning to upset her friend by reminding her of the situation.

"Maybe something terrible happened to them. Schwoz suggested, causing (y/n) to snap her gaze to him and glare, and in her superhero getup, it was pretty intimidating.

"Schwoz, that's why we're worried." She seethed, feeling like splitting his bald head open like a coconut. He seemed to be an expert at saying the wrong things at the wrong time.

"Ohhhhh." He said and shut his mouth as the tube alarm sounded and a tube came down.

"Oh, thank god, they're here." (y/n) breathed out, but her smile fell when just one tube came and down and no one appeared to be in it. Wait a damn minute...

"Hmm, that's weird," Schwoz commented, knowing that the tubes were working perfectly. They shouldn't have come down on a false alarm.

"Shhh, listen," Charlotte told them and they fell silent. Straining their ears, they made out the sounds of footsteps echoing on the cold floor and they gulped as the noise walked over to a cabinet and pulled out one of Ray's spare gum tubes. 

"Ahhh, this place's haunted!" Schwoz screamed in terror as he watched the tube float. He climbed onto Charlotte's lap in fear, much to her disgust and irritation. That was no ghost and she knew it.

"He's here." (y/n) breathed out as they all tiptoed forward and saw the tube opening.

"Brad? We know it's you!" Charlotte yelled at him as he chuckled and popped a piece of the special gum into his mouth and began to chew. 

"Actually, it's Captain Brad." He gloated as the uniform materialised around him. To be honest, it wasn't very smart to take away your invisibility, particularly when you were in your enemy's hideout.

"Hey, babe." He purred at (y/n) in a disgustingly flirty tone, making the woman feel sick, but she kept it well hidden. She wouldn't dream of giving him the satisfaction.

"Piss off, Brad." She growled, clenching her fists as her body tensed up. She was the only one present with a superpower, meaning she was the only one who could protect her friends.

~Swellview Cemetery~

"I'm so uncomfortable." Henry moaned as he and Ray tried to elbow their way out of the casket. All they were doing was wasting their energy and what little air they had left. There was nothing but dirt around them, so any attempt to escape was futile.

"Can we switch places?" He asked his boss, hoping that a shake-up of their positions would soothe his cramped muscles.

"Yeah, all right." Ray agreed, also wanting a change, but their movements proved to be difficult and awkward as Henry roughly crawled over Ray's body, accidentally whacking him in the face as he did. This day was going swimmingly.

"This is much worse." Henry groaned as his face had ended up in Ray's armpit. He should've stayed where he was, he couldn't even see now.

"What?" The boy asked in confusion as Ray giggled at something random. Had he said something funny?

"It tickles when you talk into my armpit." Captain Man confessed, feeling a bit giddy as Henry tortured him with tickling.

"What do you mean it tickles?" Henry asked, wondering how on Earth it could affect him like that, but Ray just laughed in reply.

"Stop, stop, stop, stop!" He begged as his body shook with mirth. Thankfully for them, Jasper was nearly done digging them out, even if Piper was annoying him by not helping out. She argued that since she had driven them to the cemetery with her sent-by-mistake driver's license, she didn't have to work. 

"What was that?" Ray asked happily when Jasper's shovel hit the lid of the coffin. Salvation had come.

"Jasper's shovel!" Henry realised and they both grinned in delight at the thought of being rescued after two long hours.

"Finally!" Ray breathed out, but they had forgotten one, immensely important factor.

"Jasper! Was that your shovel?" Henry yelled to his friend, praying that's it was.

"Yeah, I'll get you out in a second!" He reassured them, making Henry realise that they had a major problem.

"Aw, geez." His laughter stopped as he caught sight of Ray's costume. Jasper couldn't see them like this.

"What?" Ray asked, wondering what had spooked his sidekick so much.

"We're in uniform. We can't let Jasper and Piper see us as Captain Man and Kid Danger!" He panicked. Jasper was opening the lid any minute and it would no doubt end in a memory wipe if either he or Piper saw them and realised the truth.

"Aw, geez. Quick! Our gumball tubes!" Ray prompted and they both scrambled for their gum, shoving a ball in their mouths and chewing it rapidly. 

"Okay, get ready to be rescued!" They heard Jasper shout, just as they returned to their civilian clothes. The curly-haired boy was rising the lid open just as their normal outfits appeared and thankfully, he was none the wiser as to their secret identities.

Coughing and spluttering, Ray and Henry crawled out of the casket and breathed in the fresh air. Ten more minutes and they probably would've been goners.

"Aw, man. Thanks, buddy." Henry said to his best friend, feeling exceedingly grateful that he had been around to save them.

"Yes, thank you, Jasper. Prancing Pony and I couldn't have done it without you." Ray said too, admitting silently that sometimes, Jasper had some good qualities. Henry sighed at the dumb nickname, it looked like it was gonna stick for a while and he'd never live it down.

"So, how did you and your boss get trapped here and buried in a casket?" Piper interrogated, feeling miffed that she'd had to drive all the way across town to save her stupid brother and his dumb boss.

"Well, uh...it's, it's, uh...weird story." "Uh, yeah." They stuttered in response. They couldn't tell them that a crazy, invisible man with a serious grudge had buried them alive so he could take over Captain Man's life and steal his girl, they'd think they were insane.

"Actually, we were watching, we were at Junk-N-Stuff, earlier..."

"Watching TV."

"Right and the news and stuff, and turtles!" "Turtles!" 

The rambling went on and on as Henry and Ray tried to blag their way through an excuse, slowly backing away as they did. Jasper and Piper stared at them in confusion as they mumbled nonsense, eventually disappearing into the trees and bushes. At least they had gotten away; sure, it would be difficult to explain later, but right now, they had to kick Brad's ass.

~In the Man Cave~

"Haven't you missed me, (y/n), or should I say, baby?" Brad cooed at (y/n) as she stood in front of Schwoz and Charlotte, shielding them from anything he could throw at them with her super-healing body.

"Like a hole in a parachute. You're supposed to be dead." She replied flatly, hating all the revolting nicknames he gave her. She only liked one and that came from Ray, no one else could call her theirs.

"We thought you got hit by a bus." Charlotte jumped in, glaring at the invisible man, who was still wearing Ray's suit. 

"You thought wrong." Brad hissed, making (y/n) protectively keep Charlotte at a safe distance. If this guy made one wrong move, she'd give him a taste of her new power combined with the sweet techniques Ray had taught her in self-defence.

"That's what Ray said." Schwoz whimpered, feeling terrified at the prospect of having a madman in the Man Cave.

"Yeah, I wanted him to think I was dead so that later I could sneak back into his life, take over as the new superhero here in Swellview and have (y/n) as my beautiful girlfriend," Brad revealed his evil plot, making (y/n) gulp silently as Charlotte's phone began to ring and vibrate.

"Wait, who's that?" Brad growled as his dark monologue was interrupted. Schwoz and (y/n) crowded around the girl and looked at her phone, although the young woman made sure to keep one eye on Captain Dickhead at all times.

"Who texted?" Schwoz asked, hoping it was their saviour.

"Henry. He says that he and Ray are getting here in just a minute!" Charlotte told them in delight, making her friends sigh in relief and Brad clenched his fists in anger.

"Aw, man!" He cursed and quickly tried to strip himself of the uniform that counteracted his invisibility.

"What are you doing, asshole?" (y/n) asked as she wrinkled her nose up at the sight of him getting undressed.

"Taking off the uniform so Ray won't be able to see me!" He replied, making the woman frown. To her relief, the tubes came down, just in time, bringing Ray and Henry with them.

"Where's Brad?" Ray demanded to know, scouring the Man Cave with his eyes.

"Not here," Brad said nervously as he removed the blue shirt of the costume. 

"No, he's right there!" Charlotte pointed to the man and Ray noticed that his trousers and boots were walking around by themselves as Brad dilly-dallied about what he should do next.

"The pants! The pants! Get the pants!" Schwoz and Henry directed him, making Ray leap over the couch as he went after Brad. 

"Ahhh! Leave me alone, Ray!" Brad whined as he was chased around the sofa, the real Captain Man desperate to grab him and tan his ass for trying to take his girl.

"Ooo, try and get me!" Brad taunted him and ran around in circles to confuse Ray. With his enemy disorientated, he tried to tiptoe away but failed to realise (y/n) was also on the warpath. 

"Come here, you dirty little freak!" She growled, stalking him with a murderous glare.

"Oh, baby, don't be mad at me. I love you..." He tried to butter her up, but it just infuriated her more and Ray, well, let's just say he wanted to rip him apart with his bare hands. (y/n) wasn't a "baby"; she was his sweet girl and he'd be damned if this asshole tried to take her away from him.

(y/n) threw a punch at Brad, but he quickly blocked it, making her switch tactics and give him a sharp liver shot as he tried to uppercut her. He howled in pain as his ribs throbbed, but he still managed to take her by surprise and land a forceful, invisible fist on her cheekbone. He smirked as she winced and doubled over as she clutched her face. A punch like that would surely knock a young lady out and he smirked as she stumbled back, causing Ray to panic as she stopped fighting.

"You're mine (y/n), just submit to your fear..." Brad told her tenderly, but it had a pernicious undertone and to the old (y/n), it would have been her breaking point. Brad raised another fist to literally beat her into submission, but to his shock, when it came down, (y/n) caught it with an iron grip and twisted it harshly behind his back.

"I'm sorry, Brad, but you can't hurt me anymore." She told him in a quiet, solemn voice, not seeing the way Brad's eyes widened as the bruise and tiny cut on her cheek healed over and faded before his eyes. He had no power over her anymore, she had found her bravery.

"Quick, Henry, the bear spray!" Ray shouted to his sidekick, who scrambled to get the formidable spray from the cabinet whilst Brad was still in (y/n)'s tight hold.

"Aw, no Ray, not the bear spray—ahhhhhh!" Brad screamed as Henry used the weapon and the fine mist made his eyes burn and weep like they were burning, melting and freezing all at the same time. 

"It burns!" He shouted on the floor as (y/n) stepped back and blinked to remove the small amount of spray that had landed in her eyes. He was right, it stung like one thousand hornets in her eyes, but for her, it only lasted a few seconds as her souped-up genetics sorted the problem out quickly.

"I'm so proud of you." The young woman heard from her right as Ray walked over to her and lovingly squeezed her body against his in a quick embrace. She had been super and he couldn't be more pleased with her courageous actions, Brad certainly knew who was boss now.

"I just did what you would have done." She replied humbly, relieved to have him with her again, safe and sound.

"Oh, it burns so bad!" The sound of Brad's complaining, groaning and flailing about as his skin seared made the couple break apart and walk to his side. Although, Ray still kept an arm around her waist; when Brad was finally able to open his eyes, he wanted him to be able to see that she was off-limits to guys like him. She deserved the best man to give her a damn good life and Brad would never reach Ray's standards. It physically ached his heart to think about letting her walk off with someone else, but he thought that she needed the perfect guy and that wasn't him.

"That's not something you see every day," Henry commented as everyone watched Brad writhing on the floor, or rather, a pair of pants and boots writhing on the floor.

"Not it's not, kinda weird," Ray said as his thumb gently stroked over (y/n)'s hipbone. She was only half concentrating on the man in pain as she much preferred to admire the way Ray's shirt perfectly accentuated his chest muscles. 

Brad was a fool for thinking she'd ever love him. She'd found her perfect guy and he would always be the one for her. If only she saw the way his eyes subtly raked over her curves in her super suit as she gave Brad a pasting, she might have kissed him like she sorely wanted to.

"How do the bears deal with this? Oh god, it's horrible!" He complained, making the Man Cave crew giggle since he totally deserved this. 

As if anyone could try to take away Captain Man's girl and not suffer his wrath.

[themightymoose]

Penny For Your Laughs

Did Pepper order that herself

With what money???

The pets being obsessed with the box

They really are just silly little guys

I think Pepper needs to watch some Drew Lynch to know what true comedy is 💀

It's at least good to know that the others do enjoy Pepper's pranks

YouTube "pranksters" take notes

Pepper mishearing schtick as stick sounds like something I'd do

It's pretty cute how affectionate Blythe is with the pets

Everyone being good sports about it :) I can't wait to see how this will inevitably backfire

I love how everyone is wheezing when Pepper starts to make fun of Mrs. Twombly

Pepper I think you're killing them

I forgot subplots exist

The Biskits are me trying to play basketball

It's true sadly 😔

Look at Blythe being the bigger person

wait where's Jasper

no wonder I forgot about him

he never shows up

GIRL WATCH DREW LYNCH I AM BEGGING YOU 😭😭

Pepper may be my fave but that doesn't mean she's immune to my bullying

Oh hi Jasper

I thought we lost you for a second

Blythe they are judging you so hard

Sorry Blythe they went to get the milk

Is that still funny

Russell can play video games apparently

Pepper 💀

I feel like a disappointed parent right now

Sunillll

He looks so sad :(

I actually remember the outcome of this is that Penny floods the shop with her tears let's see if it's true

It's true

Sunil I don't think an umbrella can help you here buddy

Russell scolding Pepper kydvkyrsc

"I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed." - Russell, probably

You guys did not have to trample Pepper like that 💀

am I using the skull emoji too much

Why is Jasper not with you guys again

I remember this banger

You guys corrupted her oh no

At least everyone is still trying to be nice to Pepper

Hopefully she won't get the Rainbow Dash treatment down the line

Russell, Sunil, and Vinnie just agreeing to be juggled

Why does this sound like a breakup song

Olivia Rodrigo don't got nothing on Pepper Clark

These instances happening throughout the song aren't even Pepper's fault

I guess this means I have to make some more angsty headcanons

A travesty, truly

Pepper literally gave Penny a flower

I think??

It might just be for the song

Also how is the bee your fault

Well that evil arc didn't last long did it

They just got scorched by that sick burn

Acting like they got shot

Did a bicycle just come out of her pocket

Pepper being shocked that the word "sorry" works

I guess you could say it starts with sorry- *gets shot*

Please somebody get that reference

[super-unpredictable98]

Prank Wars | Back to 15 (De Volta aos 15)

Word count: 1,7k

Pairing: Fabrício X OC

Warning: Strong language, mention of (fake) blood

A/n: Hello everyone! As many of you know, this blog is going through a transition period. As the end of The Eighth Child nears (hopefully very soon with the last chapter), I'm starting to write for other fandoms I care about. A reimagining of Hard Candy is in the works with another AU and other fics are also coming for my second blog (my David Tennant blog lol). This is one of the fandoms I'll be working with from now on and I encourage you all to watch Back to 15 on Netflix if you haven't yet. Thank you so much to @jozstankovich for writing this fun piece with me and being my fandom buddy once again. Oh and I know Halloween is gone, but I was only able to get around to it now, so I hope you all enjoy it!

[Masterlist]

"Okay, Carol, Anita... GO!" Lydia said, closing her eyes tightly as she stood next to the shower in a pink dress and brand new ginger hair.

"Are you sure?" Carol asked, hesitantly. "This dress will never be the same."

"It'll be way cooler, just go!" Bruna growled.  

Anita and Carol then started pouring two buckets of fake blood on Lydia while she laughed a little and tried to get it all over herself.

"Here," Camila chuckled, placing a cheap plastic crown on her head. "Prom queen."

"Knock knock! You guys in there?" Fabrício called, pushing open the door to República das Imperatrizes and stepping inside. "Lyds, are you ready?" he exclaimed, checking his phone before slipping it in the back pocket of his faux leather pants.

"She's ready!" Camila came out of the bathroom giggling with fake blood on her fingers.

"Hey, baby!" Lydia came out leaving a trail behind her (which Rafa would most definitely make her clean in the morning). Her eyes were still closed, but when she opened them, she grimaced at the sight of her boyfriend's costume. "What are you wearing?"

"What am I wearing? What are you wearing?" Fabrício scoffed, his brows knitting in confusion. "I thought you were supposed to be that chick with the huge--" he trailed off, making off a huge boob motion with his hands.

"I said Carrie and Tommy!" Lydia laughed. "Oh please tell me you didn't actually dye your hair black," she came closer and started analyzing his look.

He wore black faux leather pants and a white wifebeater, big chain, double grommet belt, sunglasses, black hair, dangling earrings, and some drawn on tattoos. "Tommy Ross! Not Tommy Lee!" She laughed harder.

"How was I supposed to know?" Fabrício exclaimed, frowning petulantly, jerking his chin away from Lydia's amused gaze. "And yeah! It's only semi-permanent though," he muttered, running a hand through his hair.

"It's fine, the girls are getting ready, we should get to República Tcheca if we don't wanna miss the party," Lydia chuckled. "Did you bring the car? This blood doesn't stain, it's mostly dry."

"It better not, or you're cleaning it up on your own," he huffed, though he smirked at her. "It's kinda scary how hot you look covered in blood," he chuckled, taking her hand to head outside.

"You look pretty hot yourself," Lydia stood by the door, waiting for him to open for her. "We shouldn't drink too much tonight, I'd like to remember what we do."

"Aw, alright, just enough for a little buzz," he agreed, pulling open the door for her. As she settled in her seat, he slipped in as well, making the short drive back to República Tcheca.

"Just a couple beers then," she grabbed his arm, laying on his shoulder while he drove. "You know, I really didn't think about the practicality of having some alone fun after the party with this bloody costume."

Fabrício smirked, glancing down at Lyds. “I don’t mind getting a little dirty,” he teased, pulling into the drive and parking.

"I have to admit this costume looks a million times better on you than the one I had in mind," Lydia stole a kiss from him. "Let's go inside."

"See, I knew what I was doing," he teased, slinging an arm around her shoulders as they headed into the midst of the party.

As soon as the door opened, the music surrounded them and Fabrício nodded to his friends, grinning.

"You want something to drink?" He asked Lyds, leaning in so she could hear him over the music.

"Make a caipirinha for me, babe?" She smiled, waving at the other boys in the fraternity. "I'm going to your room, okay?"

"Comin' right up," Fabrício said, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek before heading to the kitchen. Grabbing a red plastic cup, he made Lydia's cocktail, smirking as he added an extra special ingredient.

"She's gunna kill you, you know that right?" Joel said, watching him slip the little rubber rat into the cup, his brows climbing.

"Yeah, but it'll be worth it," Fabrício laughed, pouring himself a beer from the keg's spigot.

"You say that now..." Joel murmured, shaking his head, but Fabrício was already on his way to his bedroom with the drinks.

Lydia was waiting, trying to find the sexiest pose she could be in when he walked through the door. She kept moving around in his bed until she heard the door opening and settled on one of the poses.

"Hey, sweetie," she smiled, taking the cup. She initially didn't notice anything strange, but when she started drinking, she felt the creature hit her lips. When she pulled away to look, she screamed and threw the whole thing away.

Fabrício nearly fell over laughing. "Oh, I got you good!" he exclaimed.

"GO FUCK YOURSELF! Dickhead, you're such an asshole! How old are you? Five?" She gave him a shove to get out of the room.

"Whoa! Whoa, Lyds wait!" He exclaimed, hurrying after her. "It was just a fake rat! It wasn't real!" He cried.

"I know, but you know I'm scared of rats!" She cried as she marched back to his car. "Go back inside, I wanna be on my own!"

"Oh c'mon, it was just a stupid Halloween prank," Fabrício groaned.  "Lemme make it up to you," he said, pleading her with his eyes, his hands clasped together in front of him.

"How do you wanna do that?" Lydia folded her arms, tapping her foot on the pavement and trying to resist his cute puppy face.

Damn it... when he was like that, he looked exactly like he did as a little boy and he was the most adorable little boy in the history of Minas Gerais.

"I have my ways," he murmured, moving in closer, a hopeful grin tugging at his lips.

"Stop looking at me like that, you don't have the baby fat to make me melt anymore," she teased. "Without those round cheeks, you're no longer cute!" She lied.

Fabrício only pouted deeper, slipping closer, knowing she was lying. "You sure about that?" He teased.

"Hmmm yeah," she turned her face away in a petulant manner. "You were way cuter with that baby fat."

"Oh, I see how it is," he chuckled, holding his hands up. "I guess I'll just go back inside then, and leave you here all alone," he sighed, hoping she wouldn't actually let him walk away.

"No, wait!" Lydia groaned. "You are still cute..." she mumbled.

"Aha!" Fabrício laughed, pulling her into his arms. "I'm sorry about the stupid fake rat, okay? I didn't think you'd get this upset," he murmured, kissing her forehead and then her cheek and then the tip of her nose.

"Alright, this time, I'm gonna forgive you... if you make me another drink, a proper one," she smiled.

"Deal!" He replied, grinning widely before leading her back toward the house, his arm wrapped around her waist. "Wanna watch me make it this time?"

"Nah, I trust you," she kissed him quickly before rushing to his room. She had a plan to get him back. She used his old laptop and the printer every guy in the fraternity used to print their essays. She got a picture of the girl from The Ring with a black background and stuck it to the outside of his window, just in the corner, as if she was watching.

"One caipirinha for you, babe!" Fabrício exclaimed, holding up two cups as he pushed the door open with his shoulder, finding Lydia waiting for him on the bed.

"Thank you, sweetie," she took the cup. "Hmm you're the best bartender ever. Are you sure you wanna stay in law school?"

"Course, I can't make as much bartending. Just means you get my talents all to yourself," he said, plopping down next to her on the bed and taking a sip of his own drink.

"You should think of bartending part-time though, now that Cabra told me you quit the copy room again!" Lydia laughed, lying against the window.

"Ugh, he told you that?" Fabrício groaned. "Yeah, maybe it wouldn't hurt," he murmured, looking up at his girlfriend and frowning, noticing something dark on the window behind her.

"He did, it's the fifth time this month, your dad won't keep sending you money if you- what?" She asked, faking concern when she noticed the look on his face.

"Uh, I dunno, it's probably nothing," he said, shaking his head.

"Really? You looked like you've seen a ghost," she chuckled, still pretending to be wary.

When Lydia shifted slightly, tilting her head in concern, Fabrício gaze shifted fully to the window and he jerked back with a shout, nearly falling backwards off the bed, his heart leaping into his throat.

"What?" Lydia tried not to laugh, taking him in her arms. "What's wrong?"

"Don't see that?" He exclaimed, scrambling to his feet, his eyes wide as he stared at the window, his fear suddenly dropping off as he realized what it was. "Is that Samara?" he asked, frowning as he squinted at the photo taped to the window.

"Happy Halloween, my love," Lydia kissed his cheek.

"Okay, that's fair," he chuckled, turning to catch her lips.

"I just had to get you back cause there's caipirinha all over my dress along with the blood, but... you're a cutie," she said in between kisses.

"Nah, you're the cute one," he murmured, his hand squeezing her hip.

"Hmm I love how soft you are when we're alone..." she chuckled softly. "So so soft and whipped."

He groaned, pulling back to shake his head softly at her. "Yeah yeah, only for you," he sighed, grinning at her.

"Maybe before we get our private fun time... we could... get some of the others? I know for a fact your sister is terrified of spiders, we could steal one from the decorations, and slip it in her hair," Lydia laughed.

"Oooo, you're truly evil, I'm impressed," Fabrício chuckled, a mischievous grin stretching across his face. "Let's do it!"

[arabaka]

please never shut up about reigen being a dad

— dad reigen enthusiast

*₊˚💬୧ HRHRKJFGKJFH i'm just so. overcome

again, pre-facing that you two would definitely have a boy and reigen would name him after mob so that alone. kills me

pulling a prank on reigen where he comes home from work and you and your son are dressed up exactly like him: gray suit, pink tie, little baby loafers... he ends up tearing up bc seeing your son, who already looks so much like him, in teeny tiny suit just pushes him over the edge :')

reigen having his work cut out for him when your son refuses to eat his green bell peppers. turns out... reigen hates them too but he gives the performance of his life; only now every time you feed them to your son, he insists "dada get some too!!!"

at every milestone, reigen cries. that's it that's the tweet

one of the baby's first words is salt.

if you didn't have a dog before, you two would definitely adopt one so your baby has a lil buddy to grow up with. AAAAAAAAAAAAA

reigen's the type to have 20+ pictures of your baby in his wallet. and you know damn well he's handing some out to the S&S crew.

he would pin up any drawing/painting your kid does on the walls. it always lifts his spirits (badumtss)

bro. i'm sobbing

[forestshadow-wolf]

The 141 + Co. As Brenan Lee Mulligan quotes

Soap: i worked at a L.A.R.P camp, if you're an 11-year old boy, you're like " I am a demon infused mercenary who-" [*everyone laughs*] I literally had an 11-year old boy one time tell me, "my parents were killed and I was raided by wolves and I'm getting vengeance for my slain parents." and I was like, "who killed your human parents?" And he was like "no the wolf parents were killed and that's who I'm getting revenge on." And I was like " so your parents were killed and so were your foster wolf parents, but you're only getting revenge for the wolves?" And this 11-year old was like, "you got it." [Everyone cracking up]

Ghost: I know what's going on here. I know what's going on here. Okay. I do. And if you want me to wander backstage to.. spill the beans [...] it's the final question. These other two are in the loop, so. (Refering to the Sergents; who pranked him) they're in the loop. I am the only one out of the loop it would seem. And if we check my point total here. I don't need to walk to the front, because I know what it is. It's a big 'ol goose egg, gang. It's a fat zero. Hello, a little late addition to the numerical symbol chart, brought to us by our friends in arabia, a little bit of trivia that I happen to know about the history of numbers. That kind of tidbut would serve me well in most trivia games, unless it had been rigged from the beginning. [Gaz: woah, dude] oh, I've only just begun to pull the thread on this sweater, friends. You would think in a game where there are only two possible correct choices, that one would stumble into the right answer every so often, wouldn't you? In fact the possibility of never guessing right in a full game is a statistical wonder, and yet here we are. Introduced at the top of the game as a champion, what do you think that means? Icarus; flying too close to the sun, but it seems daedalus; our little Mastercrafter over here has some wax wings of his own, didn't he? Wanted to see his sun fall. Fall from the sky. Oh how close to the sun he flew. Well I am not having it. I solved your labyrinth, puzzle-master. The minotaur's escaped and you're gonna get the horns, buddy. [Soap: Okay, did we think we were the ones in on it, but actually [Ghost] is the only one in on it and that was rehearsed?] [Roach: that was an incredible monolog, [ghost] what is the rule of the game?] I. CANNOT. WIN.

I just typed that entire thing out by hand...

Price: everyone just get ready for when people come out and start asking you "so if vegetable people start eating vegetables is that cannibalism?" And I have to go to the tallest mountain in los angeles and go "you eat animals made of meat, and you're meat. It's like that"

Gaz: "the devil egg on the windowsill, I don't know how long it's been there, but you should eat that. [Price: [Soap] I think you should listen to the good voice, me, and not eat a big, stinky egg, who know how long that's been there. Who know how long, that's my guy.] Dude, think about it. Why would there be a deviled egg on the windowsill, if you weren't supposed to eat it? [Price: that makes no sense. Okat, typically eggs- okay, so they're gonna spoil in a matter of, I'd give it three hours, if it were in the fridge.] Dude, every second you wait, it gets worse, the safest thing is to eat it now, fast and hard. [Price: please don't eat a deviled egg that's been sitting in the sun. You are smarter than this.] [Soap: smells bad] that means the sun has disinfected it. [Price: that means that the sun has infected it. It has been infested with the raw egg-] [Soap: eats the egg] [...] oh you threw up right away... eat that second deviled egg. [Price: dont do that. Why would there be two deviled eggs on a windowsill? You already had the experience of barfing after the first one] dude it's so wet. It's ready to go.

Laswell: I just want to say, you got to wake up pretty early in the fucking morning to go "oh here's a range extender for your lav, [laswell]. Yeah don't worry, it's not attached in any way to the sound pack"

Ale: [Soap: [Ale], what is your name?] ... my name it Alejandro Vargas. [*machine dings correct*] I'm being fucked with. You understand? This is an indignity.

Rudy: this [hangout] was so fucking great [Gaz: you can't say that while actively dissociating]

Roach: laws are threats made by the dominant socioeconomic-ethnic group in a given nation. It's just a promise of violence that's enacted and police are basicalky an occupying army, ya know what I mean? You guys wanna make some bacon? [*pulls a ski mask over his head and a lit molotov out of his pocket*]

[teruel-a-witch]

Saw you wanted some asks and I love your thoughts so here you go! I picked #22 and #8 you can do both or your favorite or whatever😊 Picked them mainly because I thought they could be interesting but also because a lot of the questions were obvious for Steve or Danny. One of the best parts of having a 10 season show is that we learned so much about the characters and their mannerisms/ habits that it's easy to know how they would react in hypothetical situations. In mcdanno's case its usually because we've seen them together in similar situations before 😅

aw, i'm flattered you find my ramblings interesting, and I totally agree, it does seem like a lot of the answers would be obvious because we have so much data (although there are always ways to twist a typical trope)

22. takes pranks too far.

okay so this one is tricky because my first instinct is to say steve because he is a tall child who enjoys being a little shit and annoying danny because rattled danny is extra adorable. plus, he was in the navy and the pranks military boys play on each other can be brutal. i'm sure steve and his seal buddies got to some pretty crazy stuff together (which could also be how they got their nicknames). one of the funniest stories my dad told me from his compulsory military service was when he and 3 of his buddies got back at their roommate for the crime of snoring by lifting his bed with him in it and carrying it to the communal toilets, where he was discovered in the morning by the squadron commander still sleeping. and i'm sure it's tame in comparison to what steve could have gotten up to.

but the thing is danny isn't just one of the guys, steve actually wants danny to like him, and pulling on his metaphorical pigtails is one thing, but doing something that would make danny so pissed he stops talking to him is another entirely. except maybe in the beginning where he doesn't know what the limits are he could go too far, but as he learns the boundaries of their relationship i think there will be lines he won't cross.

danny is more of a sarcasm/making fun guy than a practical joke guy (salting the cake that one time was OOC enough for him that steve didn't expect it), but even he obviously feels kinda bad when steve thinks he's genuine, so i don't think either of them will deliberately hurt each other. there's just so much love between them, the gentle kind, that i don't see them pulling deliberately cruel pranks on each other.

it would be fun if they got into an all out prank war, tho. although, potentially with disastrous consequences because they are so competitive, so i guess the only way it could get too far if they are both pushing each other's limits.

8. makes the other late for work.

before they are a couple it honestly can be a number of mundane things but that's not what we are here for 😏 after they get together, well, i'm gonna answer with a graphic

it's gotta be steve, who can't resist danny and danny can't resist him

people get murdered in oahu almost every day, but they still got years to make up for, the dead can wait :p

which one of your OTP ask game

[bulletfestival]

Help Unwanted (pt. 1)

I never was the lucky kind of rabbit.

That's not to say I have it worse off than anyone else or I need anyone's sympathy. When pranks and mayhem are a universal constant where you live, you get used to regularly finding yourself as the butt of a joke and eventually learn to laugh along with it, even if it's at your own expense.

So I rarely minded the fact that I would find myself in this position more than the other Inabas due to my unlucky streak. This is just to say I was used to being on the receiving end of zany high jinks, and had the ability to easily shrug, laugh it off and forget it by the next day.

But never had I been faced with hostility intense enough to break the rose-colored glasses I always viewed even my worst bouts of misfortune through.

July 17, Year 127 (11 years ago)

The golden sun beamed down upon me as though its shine were directly proportional to my own mood. I dashed into the mansion once my daily chores were finished, continuing my sprint through the lengthy hall until I reached my room. Today I planned to work independently of my leader for the first time by looking for odd jobs at the village.

The notion of helping someone else could be considered a reward in itself, but I cared more about the potential monetary gain, as selfish as that might sound.

Anyway, with no more chores binding me to Eientei that day, it was time to prepare for my day at the Human Village. I couldn't just waltz in as I was, though; from what I'd heard, youkai weren't particularly welcome unless they had certain credentials marking them as trustworthy--like Reisen for example--which I obviously didn't. I needed to blend in if I didn't want to be immediately shooed off.

I planned in advance for that: a month ago I had snagged one of Reisen's work kimonos while it was hanging out to dry. Fortunately, I don't think anyone saw me, so they must have assumed it got blown away by the wind. Still, it was too long for me since I was only 4'6", but that problem was fixed by snipping the excess fabric and then sewing the end part back on, repeating this process for the sleeves.

The parts I had tampered with looked unusually wrinkled at the edges due to my inexperience with alteration, but I didn't think anyone would notice unless they squinted really hard. As for the problem of my ears, I used the leftover fabric to craft a bandana to put over my head and tuck my ears inside of that. They bulged through the fabric a little, but it didn't look too inconspicuous.

I didn't want to rouse suspicion by wearing it at Eientei where the other rabbits could see me wearing the stolen kimono, so I stuffed the disguise into my pocket and headed out through the forest, stopping to change behind a tree once I was close to my destination.

As I pulled both corners of my bandana together into a knot, I could feel the influx of anxiety beginning to well up inside of me. I couldn't help it; it felt like I was about to take the first step on an another planet--a place that a youkai like me wasn't supposed to be in--but that fact added a certain thrill that drove me to keep walking forward.

My eyes locked at the struggle that was repeatedly making one foot step in front of the other, directing my focus towards that than the voice telling me to chicken out while I still could. My own will ultimately triumphed with my first official step on village grounds.

I looked ahead to be rewarded with the lively atmosphere of the village. It was almost like the bustle of home, but more "advanced", for lack of a better term. Drinking buddies chatting at their favorite booths, customers lining up to purchase handmade goods, kids swarming out from a school to enjoy today's free time, Reisen in her medicine seller getup enticing a customer with her wares--

--Wait a second, that wasn't good.

It somehow slipped my mind that she was going to be here. She hadn't looked in my direction yet, but how was I going to get past her unnoticed? I didn't get much time to contemplate this, and had to act immediately; her head was already turning, and it felt as though time slowed to a crawl as apocalyptic scenarios of an angry Reisen dragging me back home ran through my mind.

Acting faster than I ever had in my entire life, I pulled an old newspaper from my pocket, buried my face in it and blended in with the nearest villager I saw, walking side by side so that their body was blocking her view of me.

The person was obviously disturbed by my invasive behavior, but I just kept walking next to them. While I did, I swore I heard Reisen's voice, but I didn't know if it was directed at me or the customer she had been talking to, nor did I know what it was she said. Either way, I ignored her and kept going until I was in the clear, splitting paths with the person I was bothering at that point, who seemed quite relieved that I did.

I backed against the wall, holding my chest as I released the breath I had been holding. I calmed down with the knowledge that she likely didn't notice me, and whatever suspicions she may have had probably weren't strong enough to pursue me. Letting the relief sink in, I looked ahead to the stretch of houses before me and the business opportunities that lied within.

With a big, friendly smile plastered on my face I went door to door asking if anyone needed any work done for pay relative to the effort required. My first few visits were either ignored, scoffed at, or refused right out the gate because I looked too young to be trusted with any kind of task. It was at this point I understood I wouldn't get anywhere unless I stretched the truth a little.

I knocked at the next door, crafting a story in my head while I waited for the approaching footsteps to open up. No one trusted a little kid like me with to handle a task for them, so it was necessary.

A fit but otherwise average-looking man answered the door.

"Hey, kid--is there something you need?" he asked me.

"Good afternoon, mister! I've been going door to door seeking work--are there any tasks around the house you might need taken care of?"

I spoke this way, thinking it made me sound mature and reliable.

The man hummed in thought and closed his eyes for a moment before giving the disappointing response, "Hmm, well, all I can think of is a small roof leak I need to take care of... but that's not really suitable work for a child. Sorry."

I didn't want to be turned down again, so I reached into the crack just before he could fully close the door on me and pulled it back open while saying, "wait wait wait, just listen!"

He was visibly confused, but seemed willing to hear me out.

"I can handle that, actually! See, I come from a family of talented carpenters--we take care of stuff much more complicated than roof repairs all the time; I could definitely do it for you!"

That lie was delivered confidently because with enough stretching of the imagination, one could say digging pitfalls and engineering various other traps counted as a form of carpentry.

"...Is that so?"

These words carried a hint of doubt.

"How old are you now?"

Obviously I had to lie again; he made it clear just a moment ago that he couldn't trust someone too young for the job, but with my short height, there's no way he would believe me if I gave him a high number.

"...Twelve. Twelve and a half. I'm... not that tall yet though. So anyway, how about it? You think I can help?"

The obvious shame in my tone as I brought up my height must have convinced him I was being truthful. His lips curled into an apologetic smile as he lightly patted my shoulder.

"Aha... Hey, it's okay, my wife was a late bloomer too. All right, sure. I suppose it's good to let a kid show their independence once in a while. You say you have experience this kind of thing, yeah? Here, I'll fetch you the repair kit, just wait out here a minute."

Thanks to sympathy weakening his judgment, I was in! I was so elated that I, of all people forgot to ask about payment while we were discussing what I was supposed to do. I'd do the job regardless; I trusted him enough to believe he would pay me after my work was done, even if I hadn't asked yet.

Oh, and he did ask me what my name was. I didn't want to give that information away, so I told him it was Marie.

Several minutes later, I found myself on his roof with a repair kit on hand. The gist of my task was this: replace any bad shingles I find, tell him if the wood has been rotting anywhere. Easy, right?

I spent a little over an hour simply replacing some as I had been instructed. A little complicated at first, but once I got the hang of it, it felt so simple as to be mind-numbing. But rather than boredom, I felt a growing sense of confidence in what I was doing. I felt a definite self-esteem boost knowing I was doing something right for once, and eagerly awaited the praise and reward that would subsequently come for it.

I had finished patching up a bunch of bad shingles, and fortunately I hadn't spotted any rotted wood under any of them. With the heavy box of replacements in tow, I tramped up the incline a little more. With my last two steps, the wood beneath me felt soft and unfirm. Dread pierced my heart as I realized what I was standing on, and before I knew it, I was lying on the floor in pain after falling through the roof.

The faling debris and dull thud of my body alerted two people to come rushing in with rapid footsteps. My vision was blurred from my head hitting the floor, and the first sight when my eyes could finally resolve the image was some kind of lucky cat ornament broken in half next to me, which apparently fell from the shelf nearby. I was scared how they would react to that, so I hid it behind my back as I sat against the wall.

The man and a woman I assumed was his wife arrived just then, the former grabbing my shoulders and asking if I was all right. Suddenly, his eyes grew large and I could see the concern evaporate from his features, with something that looked like a mix of fear and contempt taking its place.

"It's--it's a youkai!" he shouted while backing up. It was then I realized my bandana must have been snagged and ripped on some wood during my fall. The woman acted with similar fear, and I didn't know what to do other than stare with my mouth agape, trying to form a coherent thought from the stuttering that escaped me.

"What are you hiding behind your back?" he began to pressure me. His wife seemed a little more reasonable, trying to hold him back and offer him some words of reason. That maybe I wasn't the malicious kind despite my mistake. Still, he escaped her hold and I was grabbed by him in turn, tossing me aside to find the broken ornament.

"Oh my God, my mother's Lucky Cat..."

The sorrow in his tone is immediately overtaken by fury when he looks back at me, pulling me up by the collar to get a closer look at the daggers in his eyes.

"That was a gift from my mother! Were you trying to steal it, you sniveling damn rabbit?!"

"I-I didn't..."

"You didn't what?! You didn't think I would find out? You think you can just give me those crocodile tears and I'll forgive you for trying to steal from me?!

I looked at his wife who was standing behind him. My expression begged for any sympathy she could spare, like the kind she had demonstrated just a moment ago. All I could gleam from her in return was disappointment as though she were leaning toward her husband's side of the story.

And something inside of me snapped.

As a rabbit, I wasn't the strongest of youkai, but I could still easily outmuscle a human like the one grappling me then. I harshly shoved him off me, forcing him to to stumble into the wall, eliciting a gasp from the wife who quickly ran over to check on him while I ran out the door.

I realized how tired I was of the humiliation I near constantly felt. This was something I couldn't laugh off--even if I could, I didn't want to. I didn't want to be on the receiving end anymore. I felt more hate than I had ever felt in my life for that married couple for thinking they know everything about me all because of my race and a little screw up of mine.

While I ran, I held the newspaper from earlier down over my head like a hood to hide my features as I choked back my sobs. I think Reisen saw my white hair through the newspaper this time and could have recognized me through that, but I was too upset to care. I swore that as soon as I got out of there, things would change. It wouldn't be me who would look back on this event with shame and regret. Not this time. It would be THEM. If they thought that mistake was an act of malice, they were wrong.

Tomorrow, they would see what it really looks like when I'm being malicious.