#your happy ending is gone
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There is a dream and it sleeps in me
Keeps me awake in the night
Crying, “Set me free”
And I wake every night
Crying, “Set me free”
Mitski - Abbey
#cult of the lamb#cotl lamb#cotl fanart#cotl au#rotting of the lamb#imagine working so hard to be the kindest version of urself#turning ur miserable world into something so beautiful#something so loving#only to give it all up#and u didn’t even know that u gave it all up until it’s too late#you’ve been warped and corrupted#your happy ending is gone#but not rly yk bc as much as u mourn it#eventually u move on and things change again#they get better and they get worse#yeah Lacey is a metaphor for 'awakening' mental illness from stressful events#get turned into a vehicle for emtional healing idiot!!
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I know & remember very little about RTD as a person but I do remember he left DW to care for his dying partner and that his partner has since died. And the way that this is so evident in his approach to 14 and 15, it’s phenomenal.
2005 Davies was interested in high drama, big stakes, the roughest heartbreak that could exist. And now he’s lived it, and it feels like his approach to the show has shifted as he has shifted!
14 getting to rest, Wilf alive off-screen, Donna’s memories returned - 15 leaving his trauma and his heartbreak and his pain with 14 in order to begin again fresh and new and ALIVE…it is all so meaningful to me!!!
#doctor who#15th doctor#I’m just THINKING about how the meaning of death and grief and mourning is LOVE#and once you really learn that deep in your bones you are a fundamentally changed person#and while I personally wanted 14 to be fully gone & fully regenerate#(I thought we were gonna see a shot of him like properly healing and then fade away in regeneration light)#the idea of him having a happy ending….#just this once rose everyone lives!#it is so precious and tender to me#spoilers#doctor who spoilers
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I wonder if you look both ways (When you cross my mind) pt. 3
a nice long update for ya ♡ part 1 part 2
cw: internalized homophobia and projecting internalized homophobia (from an oc)
🐝・゚ ・゚·:。・゚゚・✦ʚɞ
June 1996, Chicago
Steve's first steps into his living room are not met with silence and sunshine; in fact, he is met with two surprises.
The first being Eddie Munson still in his apartment.
Steve rubs the tired out of his eyes, squishing his palm into his lids in hopes of shaking out a morning delusion. He is proven unsuccessful..
His second surprise is that Eddie is awake, staring at Steve in high alert, blankets folded neatly (he must have scrounged around for them in the night, not that Steve minds), sitting patiently as if he has been waiting for hours for Steve's arrival.
If the second surprise hadn't happened, Steve might have excused the first. See, Eddie, in all the years he had known him, had been anything but an early riser, usually choosing to sleep the day away. So if he had been asleep still, Steve might have let him being in his apartment slide.
Steve ponders how he doesn't really know Eddie anymore, so he shouldn't actually be surprised.
Eddie clears his throat, "So, how about that talk?"
Steve has to resist shutting his eyes to relish in the sound of Eddie's deep timbre. His voice has grown scratchy over the years—from singing or cigarettes, Steve can't be sure. It feels like coming home, either way, to have his voice brush over him.
Instead, Steve clears his throat back. "Don't have time; maybe try again in another five years." He moves to the kitchen to start making their morning drinks—hot coffee with cream for Robin and an iced dirty chai for Steve.
When Dustin had been working at a cafe back when he was in college, he made Steve try all of their new drinks. Surprisingly his favorite became a dirty chai—something which Robin finds hilarious.
Steve grabs the chipped green mug from the cabinet and begins pouring Robin's coffee. It had already been hot and ready in the pot, which probably meant Eddie had prepped it for him. Steve doesn't comment.
Eddie huffs through his nose, "C'mon Stevi—Steve. It's ten in the morning on a Saturday. You can't tell me you're busy right now."
Steve has to resist slamming Robin's mug down on the counter, already having being put together after the 1994 incident, he doesn't want to face her wrath.
Gently placing it on the counter, Steve turns. "Actually, I have somewhere to be at twelve, not that you need to know that. And don't act like you know what's going on in my life, Munson."
Eddie smiles, a little laugh escapes him. God, it is like a fucking drug after years of being sober that laugh. Steve wants to beg him for another hit, even though he knows it's bad for him.
With the smile never leaving his face, Eddie raises his hands. "Okay, okay. You're right."
"Why are you smiling? This isn't funny." Steve huffs.
Eddie's face softens, "Sorry, just even though you're mad at me. You're talking to me, and shit, sweetheart. I would take that over silence any day. It's nice to hear your voice."
Steve has to force himself to keep his shoulders tense, wanting to sag into Eddie. He's still mad at him, furious even. But some part of him agrees deep down, this is nice.
He can never let Eddie know that.
"Fuck off, Munson. I have shit to do. I'm sure you're too busy anyway."
Eddie shakes his head, hair falling in front of his face. "No, trust me I have nothing else going on. The band is on hiatus. And even if we weren't, trust me when I say this is exactly where I am supposed to be right now."
Steve can't help the snort that comes out of him, "Funny you're asking me to trust you, asshole. That went out the door with your bags five years ago."
Eddie flinches back, "Okay, I deserve that one."
Steve doesn't mention to Eddie how he knows his band has been on hiatus for over a year now. How he's kept up on the band, even after Eddie left. How he is curious why they went on hiatus at all, they have two successful albums, and supposedly were working on their third, when suddenly they all decided it was time for a break.
Peak of their career, and they chose silence. Normally, a horrible career move, but it seems it makes the rock community want them even more.
Steve can understand that partially. When it comes to Eddie, you can't help but want more, even when he disappears without a trace.
"I got to go get ready. Seriously, Munson. I know you think I don't mean it when I say leave. I think you're stuck on the Steve from five years ago, and how the Steve from then wouldn't really mean it. But this is the Steve now. And Steve from now means it when he says, get the fuck out. Go find someone else who could actually use your presence, like Dustin. God knows the kid deserves a phone call."
Eddie opens his mouth to protest, but doesn't get to chance to say his peace, Steve's already on his way back to his bedroom with their drinks in hand.
🐝・゚ ・゚·:。・゚゚・✦ʚɞ
Steve is running late.
It's not his fault, he has a fucking ghost haunting his living room, and it takes him ten times longer to work around it. Robin tells him to cancel his lunch, but Steve doesn't, even though she's right.
Robin's always right.
Steve can't help but feel a little smug when thinking back to leaving his apartment, though. He looks good, wearing his nicest Levi's and soft white button-up. Steve had made sure to keep the top few buttons undone, showing off his gold necklaces that landed perfectly on his exposed chest hair.
For Drew, of course, not for Eddie.
Still, Steve knows he looks good. So when he leaves his apartment and Eddie doesn't even bother to try to talk to him again because he is just too busy staring at Steve.
Steve makes it to the restaurant only five minutes late. It would have been on time if it had been in his athletic prime.
Resturant, Steve realizes, is a bit of a stretch. It appears to be a cafe--but not one of those cozy ones with crazy colors and a fun name. No, this cafe is incredibly fancy. Everything is so sleek and high up, the name in an Italian word he'll have to asked Robin to translate later.
Steve looks around the cafe in a huff, realizing Drew is nowhere to be found. He is momentarily flooded with relief, knowing he has beaten Drew to the cafe.
Steve finds a table in a corner and waits. His brief relief is quickly swept away into annoyance as he sits there for minutes with no signs of Drew.
It takes another thirty minutes, before Drew is finally at the cafe.
"Sorry, I'm late, baby." He says breath even. Steve knows he was in no rush to be here on time. He doesn't move to kiss Steve, not on the cheek and certainly not on the mouth. Drew isn't one for PDA, or so he says. Instead, he smooths down his dark blue Armani suit and sits across from Steve.
"You know, you could give me a kiss. I haven't seen you in a week." Steve decides to move past his being late; there is no point in arguing. If it had been him, Steve is sure he would never hear the end of it.
"Sweetheart..." Drew whispers and brushes his hand against Steve's knee. Steve's lip twitches; he doesn't like it when Drew calls him that. "You know it isn't safe to do that."
Steve wants to throw Drew's hand off of him, but he doesn't. It's always like this between them, Steve wants more, and Drew pulls back. It's beginning to feel tiresome, this game between them. They have been dating for a year and have made no progress in public. Steve's lucky Robin gets to know, seeing as basically no one else in either of their lives knows about each other. For Steve, everyone knows of Drew but not his name. For Drew, Steve is almost sure no one even knows he's gay.
Steve wants to hit himself for the thought. It's unfair of him to put these expectations on Drew, everyone comes out at their own pace. He would be a hypocrite if he pushed him; it had taken him nineteen years to figure out he was bisexual. Took Eddie leaving for him to come out to anyone other than Robin.
It feels different somehow with Drew, though. Like this isn't him scared to come out, but more like Drew doesn't actually see a future with Steve. It had taken them six months to even label themselves as boyfriends, moving from late-night booty calls to watching a movie together in Steve's living room in the middle of a Tuesday.
Steve rubs his temples instead of smacking Drew's hand away. Steve feels tired of this cycle. He knows this is the best he's going to get when it comes to dating. With women, they often want him to admit that he was experimenting, wanting to shun parts of himself away. That or they are convinced he's gay. Well, he is, but it's more than that, and they don't seem to get it.
With men, it's the opposite problem. Either they need him to admit being bisexual is just something he used to make himself feel better, or they are only looking for a quick hookup.
Hookups are nice, but approaching thirty, Steve wants something real and is perhaps sick of finding out the man he brings home from the bar is married.
He knows this is the best he's going to get.
"Maybe if we met a cafe in my neighborhood, we could be a bit more affectionate. The one down the block has a rainbow flag and everything."
Drew scrunches his nose, "Why do that when we can get nice coffee like this?"
Steve doesn't point out that neither Drew nor himself has ordered coffee. Steve can't afford the coffee here, and Drew was late. "I think that's your way of saying where I live isn't nice."
Drew grabs his hand under the table, "No, babe, I don't want to fight today. I've missed you."
Steve feels bad; he has missed Drew. Despite their ups and downs (and Robin's grumbles), Steve does care for him. "You're right, I'm sorry."
"Don't worry about it. Besides, I did want to have lunch for a reason." Drew smiles brightly. Steve can't help but stare for a minute. It's no surprise what hooked Steve the first moment they met at the club. He is a classic kind of handsome. Wavy brown hair cut to look proper, a shiny white smile, piercing blue eyes. Nothing about him is soft, he is full of sharpness that takes you from across the room.
He's the kind of guy Steve's parents would have loved if they were okay with Drew being a guy—if Steve was even talking to them at all.
"Oh yes, you've got me on the edge of my seat." Steve jokes.
Drew gives him a charming smile, "There's my funny guy."
Steve rolls his eyes.
"So I have a big question for you..."
Steve freezes up; oh no. Here it comes. The talk, the let's move into together speech. One he'll have to turn down. No one ever gets it. How he can't live without Robin. Literally and physically.
"....so Greg says there's an opening and I think you'd be a great fit."
Steve shakes himself out of his thoughts, "What?"
Drew levels him with a look. "A job? For you?"
Oh. "I already have a job."
It's Drew's turn to roll his eyes, "C'mon, Steve. A high school guidance counselor? You could do so much more."
"I like my job, Drew. We've been through this. Besides, you barely want to be seen together, and now you want to work together? I have no interest in working at a law firm."
Drew pinches his nose, "Just...just think about it, okay? I want to see more of you in any way I can."
Steve doesn't want to fight. The fight left him a long time ago. "Okay."
He doesn't mean it.
🐝・゚ ・゚·:。・゚゚・✦ʚɞ
aaah im loving where this is going, also I swear it gets better soon and this has a happy ending!! also thanks for the love and support. This will probably be the last part where I will take tag requests for the series so please ask now, cause its getting too long. But parts will always be updated on the previous posts and my page!!
tag list!:
@stevesbipanic @withacapitalp @emryyyyy09 @brainfugk @blueberrylemontea-fanfic
@slv-333 @thetinymm @connected-dots-st-reblogger @helpimstuckposting @dreamercec
@goodolefashionedloverboi @stripey82 @little2nerdy @anne-bennett-cosplayer @resident-gay-bitch
@ghostquer @sourw0lfs @devondespresso @yesdangerpls
@lingermirth
@adealwithher @antonymeanonyme @stevah-hawcett @samsoble @mugloversonly
@stripey82 @anaibis @mycatsstolemybiscuit @flustratedcas @alfhitchblonde
@s0ft-strawberries @slavicviking @theheadlessphilosopher
@l1lpip @emmabubbles @arepaconchocolate
@thesuninyaface @hallo-spaceb0y @dykelips @bookbinderbitch @valinwonderland
#guys really i swear there is a happy ending#ive gone full blown story now#yal hyped me up its your fault#also im so excited for the next part hehehe#steddie#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie munson#robin buckley#my writing#platonic stobin#ficlet#angst#hurt comfort#i wonder if you look both ways (When you cross my mind)#ao3
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local dog unused to such fluff & tenderness, more at 8
#ok. i will admit. i got so caught up in the euphoria of Them that i FUCKING FORGOT HOWDY'S WINGS#half of his yassification... gone....#yk lets just pretend he can take em off and hang em up on a coat rack#just this once k we on the same page Good#i take the comedy character. i give them Emotional Issues#if barnaby doesn't end up having so many problems hiding under all that humor ill eat my cat#she will Go In The Soup and i will Eat Her Soupified Face#gripping the bars of my enclosure and staring So Hard at barnaby like#'cmon you have problems i Know you have problems pleeeassse lose your shit i hope you get so angry and so sad cmon cmon'#WHATS UNDER THAT HAPPY MASK PUPPET BOY#sorry. wrong post to have a lapse of sanity in the tags#anyway ahaha aheehee laughingstock <3 hoohoo haha yassified howdy <3#scribble salad#yassified howdy <3#welcome home#barnaby x howdy#howdy x barnaby
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smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.
#jrwi show#jrwi fanart#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying#nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess#ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so#i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little.#AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair.#AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair#both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother.#GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home#but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns.#he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again#not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO#i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED#all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis#but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum#and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it#youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales.#YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!!#you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound.#elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now.#this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes#BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply
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disney date
#based on something freddie said in an early talking dad#does anyone else get emotional about young glenn and morgan#i know they got their happy ending but GOD imagine losing your wife and then she comes back but not quite the person you knew#like…… original timeline morgan and nick are just… gone#ANYWAY.#zyrnarts#dndads#dungeons and daddies#glenn close#glenn close dndads#dndaddies#dndads s1#dndads odyssey#morgan freeman dndads#morglenn
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Yknow I was also thinking... if Neuvi were to ask Furina to become immortal again for his sake, she might actually say yes. Which is exactly WHY he'd never ask her to do so, because as much as he dreads her inevitable absence, he won't condemn her to that fate again
You got it. Because when she took on that curse half a millennium ago, it was also a request she agreed to. For the sake of all of Fontaine and not just the sake of Focalors, but it's still all too similar. Even if she said yes to him because she actually wants it then, who's to say she'll always want it? Who's to say the decades, the centuries won't weigh heavier and heavier as they pass, just like before? Who's to say she won't have to ask him to make her mortal again? And that would be even more painful than simply letting her go when she's meant to. So instead he'll treasure the time she has, that she's more than earned, and he'll do everything he can for her to treasure it too.
#anon#ask#answer#genshin#genshin spoilers#neuvifuri#i don't actually like character death much it bums me out#that said i dislike stuff that's out of character even more#so i'm glad we're in agreement#sometimes living forever ever after isn't the happy ending#sometimes turning the last page of the story and closing the book is the best thing there can be#and you can put the book back on the shelf and keep the happy memories of its story close to your heart#it's like zhongli says#someday furina will be long gone and so will everyone who knew her#but as long as neuvillette remains then so will his memory of her#he'll remember her as she was - free and with her fate in her own hands at last#the history books will remember the lead actress who gave her everything for fontaine#neuvillette will remember her as she was after she left her grandest stage and became just furina#getting sentimental in the tags? on MY blog? it's more likely than you think
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good ending! gay love pierces through the veil of death yet again✌🏼
something something man is god to a dog ft. kuwameshi
I'm Your Man, Mitski
#kuwameshi#yyh#yu yu hakusho#kuwabara kazuma#urameshi yusuke#i'm your man#lyric edit#me when yusuke is a dog but kuwabara is his dog in that yusuke's his man and kuwa looks to him with adoration and trust#even if he dies giving him that trust it doesn't falter. crazy#yusuke is sorry just so sorry to be on the receiving end of that because what happens when he ultimately fails?#he wishes kuwa would've picked someone else. someone better. bc even if he wins it's a loss. bc kuwabara is gone.#but ending on angst when kuwa isnt even dead sucks so happy ending!!#''i deserve it. don't i?'' it's still a question at the end. leaving kuwa to decide. because yusuke trusts him too.#trusts his judgement of yusuke. and of course he'd be pardoned#kuwa's very survival is his pardon. the question is answered. they both live. they love.#there's tons i could say on the thought process that went into each cap but yknow. yapping lmao#sorry if this is lame or wtv i just couldn't stop thinking about it#i got all the screencaps from the source! i was about to painstakingly take screenshots but they already exist yay!!#qeued post
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Solas, var lath vir suledin.
#da:tv spoilers#solavellan#solas#scarlet lavellan#lafaiette's gif#the south might be gone#ferelden and orlais and kirkwall basically destroyed#SO HEY#SHE'S RIGHT TO FOLLOW HIM LOLOL#honestly.... i would have done the same#go live your life in the fade my beloved lovebirds you deserve all the peace in the world#solas can finally hug and kiss scarlet 24/7#free from regrets and duty#and scarlet can finally help him forgive himself and live for himself after millennia of abuse and brainwashing#the game was a mess but at least we got a happy ending for them jfgfgkglhlg#TIME TO WRITE FANFICS
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Oh! Fucking. Duh. Obvious Roxie post I can make today: here's an emote I made for the sp:te server! (With variants of different degrees of completion...)
I was gonna go back and shade the comic colors Roxie but. Just ended up going w the colors picked off the screenshot. This screenshot, specifically!
#mind the quality i ripped it from Somewhere but i dont remember where#i still havent gone and continued my Unhinged Screenshot Taking yet. but oh buddy when I do....#spto#sp comic#spvtw#fanart#art#roxie richter#emotes#discord emotes#blue sparks one there was just testing where i wanted to put some before i decided Overkill was The Way#like w the other ones. please do reblog this if you decide to use them in a server somewhere! i would like to know if they end up other +#+places#ooc#spto fanart#scott pilgrim fanart#spvtw fanart#spto roxie#scott pilgrim roxie#spvtw roxie#roxanne richter#roxy richter#actually. best day for it really. if anyone has any roxie screenshots or panels they want emotes from I'd generally consider them to begin +#+with but For Sure today. (generally if anyone wants a given shot/panel as an emote im happy to at least Try. i just need specifics)#(so far kim ones are my only Successful emote attempts Without panel/shot basis. i do need to try a ramona that was requested again...)#uhhh just to be safe i guess#potential eyestrain#i did try a version w the sparks more like they are in the show but it Didn't Look Good#feel free to try your own hand at it if you want#this post is scheduled btw :3c im still trying to work on another roxie piece... panel redraw....
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dare I say... superior trope
#lover gone dark#p.s. for those who don't know sasusaku actually has a happy ending I just love angst#(another fun fact! in the original rots idea padme was meant to kill anakin)#the first and the last quote is from vampire academy (if you know you know)#at first I wanted to make it all about my favorite characters who either went dark or were nearly there (like sam winchester)#but then I decided to go down 'if your beloved goes to the dark side you must save them by either bringing them back or killing them' road#me shipping sasusaku since the age of 10 and then discovering anakin when I was 20 has brought us where we are today btw#being a within temptation stan as a child didn't help either#I love me a story of a good man who has too much power and gets corrupted on his way to revenge mmmm delicious#I don't know how to tag this post cause it's a bit niche but I hope my soulmate people will find it <3#sasusaku#sasuke x sakura#sasuke uchiha#uchiha sasuke#sakura haruno#haruno sakura#naruto#naruto shippuden#boruto#pro sasusaku#(obviously)#star wars#star wars prequels#anakin skywalker#anidala#vampire academy#otp: irreplaceable partner
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sure, Beelz and Gabriel being in love in S3 will probably suck for Crowley but i think the thing thats gonna bother Crowley most is knowing they got their happy ending because of him and Aziraphale.
#“you got your happy ending because of my love”#“and now that love is gone”#“how is that fair?”#good omens#crowley#aziracrow#aziraphale#ineffable husbands#ineffable idiots#good omens s2#beelzebub#gabriel#beelzebriel
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oh wow they actually give you the choice to explicitly identify as transgender freely with zero requirements and it unlocks new dialogue choices
#also offering you 3 different stages to establish how your character feels about their current body#“Still getting there” or “I love how I am” or “I worked hard to here here and I'm proud”#That is genuinely so touching and impressive#it left me awestruck#the fact they didn't shy away from the word transgender??? That they let you pick it as an identity ingame#and not a thrown off choice buried at the end of the list in character customization#I'm so happy#we've came a long way#side not i am so fucking happy the open world thing is gone and it's kinda linear missions now#so much more satisfying and fun#Every character i meet has been a hit after a hit after a hit#and the combat is actually fun and not boring this time around#reminds me of origins in a beautiful way#Yeah Veilguard wins over Inquisiton in my heart any day#♡otherfandoms#♡dragon age#dragon age veilgaurd spoilers#also of course i picked the transgender option#not every day you play a game that acknowledges non binary as a form of transgender#i feel happy#a warm kind of happiness
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been stewing on this one for a while but i said i was gonna post more of my headcanons so here's a little bittersweet tidbit;
childhood was a really rough time for Diomedes and Sthenelus (and the other younger Epigoni as well) full of a lot of grief and sorrow and confusion, and the weight of your father's legacy crushing shoulders too young to uphold it or begin to understand it. Diomedes, for the most part, doesn't even remember Tydeus. All he really knows is the idealized version of him Athena and others hold him to. Sthenelus has fleeting memories of Capaneus but refuses to remember - he only resents. Their childhood was spent being trained up to be weapons.
But even so, I do think there were moments where they got to just be kids. They built their own little fort of escape somewhere they knew would remain hidden. It took weeks of stacking rocks with what little free time they had until it was perfect, and it was theirs, and it was somewhere where they didn't have to be wise beyond their years.
They eventually forgot about it as they got older. They sacked Thebes, Diomedes restored Oeneus to the throne, and then the Trojan War happened, and all the things in between being on the battlefield - getting married, becoming kings, Sthenelus even had children of his own. The fort lay forgotten and untouched, a reservoir of good memories they'd both buried a long time ago.
And then, when they're fleeing Argos, they find it again, reclaimed by the vines and the leaves. All their old stuff is in there still, little wooden swords and shields, animal and soldier figurines, drawings they etched into the rocks. It's the only place they ever had that wasn't overrun by sorrow, where they weren't forced to fill the shoes of men they don't (or refuse to) remember.
But there's just no time left. They have to leave it knowing they'll never see it again. All they can do is hope they can hold onto a fragment of the tranquility their younger selves buried there.
#ok wow that turned out a lot longer and sadder than i wanted it to be#i like to think Sthenelus went with Diomedes to Italy bc he's just that loyal to him#(and also i want a happy ending for them. is that too much to ask)#but ALTERNATIVELY it's just Dio who finds it#and in a whirlwind of emotions (mostly about the fact he'll probably never see Sthenelus again) he destroys the place#he regrets it after but he's long gone from Argos by then#and there's nothing he can do to fix it now#BUT ANYWAYS#thanks for coming to my headcanon post sorry if i pulled on your heartstrings#im incapable of being normal about them#diomedes#sthenelus#diosthe#mj rambles
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having swap au thoughts. *slaps roof of claus* there's so much mental illness in this guy. im gonna blow up everyone in the room and then myself
#what if you felt unbearable guilt because your brother went missing in the two seconds you were separated#and you feel like there mustve been Something you couldve done to prevent it#if only you had stuck together. if only you hadnt let him tag along on your basically-a-suicide-mission in the first place#but none of those things happened so you go through three years blaming yourself#continuing to search for him because maybe hes still out there. and maybe exhausting yourself on an aimless search is a way you can atone#and then you're pulled into this big destiny adventure so your searching is put on the back burner#you're so busy doing important things and meeting new friends and there are points in your adventure where your heart feels lighter#and maybe you open up just a little about the crushing guilt you feel. and your new friends say it wasnt your fault#maybe you start accepting that your brother is really gone but you have to keep living your life#saving your brother was a far out dream but saving the world is something you have the power to do#so you try your best. so you dont fuck up this time#your guilt becomes the fuel keeping you going#and then at the end of your journey#you find out one of the biggest obstacles on your journey#the human chimera that you felt kinda horrified at and a little bad for even as you fought them#is your brother you've been mourning and agonizing over not being able to save#so um. The Guilt is even worse now#now he doesnt just feel responsible for his death. he Now feels responsible for him becoming this Creature Thing under porkys control#and in a lucas dies scenario. hoogh i cant imagine how claus would feel after that.......#however the thing that spurred this post was thinking about the lucas lives postgame scenario (it just got a bit out of hand lol) so.#your brother is alive and back home again and youre so unbelievably glad#but the guilt still creeps up every time you see how much hes Changed. physically and mentally#you had just started to accept the fact youd have to live without your brother but somehow having him back is almost just as painful#things cant just go back to how they were before. youll never be the exact same happy family as you used to be#its strange adjusting to having lucas back and its strange trying not to step on each others toes with their trauma#you cant help but be clingy because you couldnt bear it if he disappeared again under your watch#but nobody wants to be watched all the time especially when youre recovering from your brainwashed identity as an army commander#FUCK I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT I WANTED TO RAMBLE MORE AUGH. THEY MAKE ME SO ILL. i swear its not all angst theres some lightheartedness in it#mother 3 swap au#mothfics
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#i could try to write a cohesive caption but im tired and sad so messy notes in the tags it is#spn#liveblog tag#12.22#it shouldnt have felt like such a weight off to hear dean recount how much pain sam's experienced like this but it was#saying ''he lost his soul'' like it was indeed something awful that happened To him as opposed to a ''mistake'' he made#< which is how he's brought it up to sam himself in past seasons#funny that it seems he's only able to acknowledge sam's suffering when sam isn't present. moreover - only when dean's suffering is#centered as well. inextricable from sam's bc of their shared upbringing#and only when there is a more culpable figure to bear the brunt of dean's feelings (often john and now for the first time mary)#she was dragged back to earth as a gift For You. she doesn't fit and the family she knew is gone and you have an idea of her in your head#that she will never be able to mirror in real life bc that mary never existed#and she's been tortured and brainwashed into killing people she knows and she's trapped in her own mind trying to seek solace in#a happy memory - a vestige of heaven which is a vestige of life#and she has no choice but to listen as you rip into her heart for choices that she already hates herself for#sam/mary parallels holding strong but as always sam got the short end of the stick#anyway. ow :)#tag vomit
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