#young fans were saying they hope she never has kids bc her music would be about kids and motherhood
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iwatcheditbegin · 6 days ago
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one of the most fascinating ( ie concerning) parts of the fandom is the way many People feel so connected to Taylor but they also need to see themselves in her. To a point of extreme projection; needing her to have a husband and kids. or being upset at the very idea she might want that. Or claiming she’s actually gay and in a secret marriage. Or dissecting her behaviors and diagnosing her with things she’s never disclosed.
I’m not sure it’s a product of being brought up online or smth else. Idk how it is in other fandoms, but I definitely think Swiftes feel a very strong sense of ownership over Taylor that is very unusual
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zombiepedia · 2 years ago
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I’m so curious and I hope you don’t mind me asking but what was your first introduction to zombies? I know next to nothing about them bc they used to freak me out and I avoided anything about them, but finding your blog has made me super interested!! To the point where I was going to sign up for a uni course on them but found out the professor for it was quite shit so I didn’t :,) but yeah when did you first see/hear/learn about them? I’m so curious
:D i don't mind you asking at all i love talking about this!!!
well when i was young zombies also really frightened me (i still get zombie stress nightmares sometimes) but i've been a horror fan since i was a kid, so that never stopped me from getting really into zombie media anyway. there were several contributing factors i'd say? my first memory of REALLY loving something with zombies in it was with my childhood best friend. she had this really shitty Xbox 360 and we used to play COD zombies together for hours and hours. people always think i'm crazy when i say this (because COD zombies sucks) but it's a huge reason why i started loving zombies
in my formative years a lot of huge zombie centric franchises were at their peak as well (TWD and TLOU especially. and PVZ was HUGE) so i was of course very invested in those franchises growing up, and i had a lot of friends who were super into them too, especially TWD :D one of my best childhood memories is going to a huge TWD convention with my best friend and i got to meet Clementine's voice actor!!!
my mom also really loves zombies, and i don't share a lot of interests with her, but we always loved them together and would watch stuff together. my mom bought me a lot of zombie books to read and always encouraged that interest of mine. especially in middle school i was blowing through books she'd buy me like World War Z (novel, not movie), The Enemy series, In The After, and the TWD novels were just a few that i was consumed by when i read them. and then i started writing my OWN zombie stories in middle school, like self insert stuff with my friends, etc
and when i got older i started watching a lot more zombie movies (before i had been mostly invested in books, games, and shows because i find movies hard to sit through) and zombie movies are fascinating they have so much history!!! there are so many of them to enjoy with so many different takes on the genre!!! zombie centric music is really fun too, that's also something i got into when i was older. i love music about zombies (and horror music in general)
to quit rambling on and to answer your question super directly i think i ended up loving zombies because the people i love do too, albeit not as much as me lol, and the time period i grew up in (after the release of 28 Days Later and the revival of zombies in the early 2000s) was an absolute goldmine for really good zombie content
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cryptidmads · 4 years ago
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alright, so i went through the ama with wan hazmer and daim dziauddian on twitch and picked out every little tidbit i could about the megastars bc i knew you guys would want to know. this is a long post and i’m on mobile atm so i can’t put it under a read more — sorry about that! bosses are in chronological order, starting with DJSS and ending with Eve!
DJ SUBATOMIC SUPERNOVA
- djss took the least amount of time to develop out of all the bosses (haz says his fight took about half a year.)
- daim purposely tried to make djss' name as long as he could. he was specifically looking at negasonic teenage warhead from deadpool for inspiration.
- haz and daim do have the briefing/kliffnotes for djss. they discussed sharing them at some point, but idk when that would happen.
- related to the above, daim says that dj is in his mid thirties. EDIT: his kliffnotes were shared on twitter and they say he’s 41. daim must have goofed haha
- when asked if djss actually has a face and how he eats, daim compares it to kenny from south park and how you never see his face. he thinks dj does have a face in there, but that we just never see it. as for the “how does he eat” part, daim says that sometimes they don’t have to show everything.
- daim is a djneon/neonnova shipper, and it’s one his favourite pairings alongside zuke/mayday.
- daim said that uncle ali basically instantly landed the role as djss. he was that good.
SAYU
- sayu was obviously inspired by hatsune miku and other vocaloids, but haz brings up one particular commercial involving miku and google chrome, which involves a bunch of people collborating on songs and concept art for miku, similar to how sayu started as a collab between remi and tila in-universe.
- someone asked about the models for sayu's crew's apartments. there wasn't much on that, but haz mentions that one of his favourite nsr fanfics (yes, he reads them) is "Road to Redemption," and there's a scene that takes place in a studio where the crew works on sayu, and he really likes that.
- the devs wanted sayu's name to sound both malay and japanese at the same time (as well as a nod to miku). haz says it means “warm water” in japanese.
- akusuka is a direct copy of akihabara in terms of locale.
- sayu’s shellfish commercial is a homage to a real snack in malaysia named mamee monster, which is hugely popular with kids. the format of the commercial itself was inspired by a pocky commercial that featured hatsune miku.
YINU
- her game design (for her boss fight) was partially done in ms paint by music director falk (who made the base version of her boss theme)
- yinu's mom doesn't have a name. she's just mother/mama.
- haz confirmed that yinu's father is, in fact, dead.
- daim thought yinu’s name was a nod to yuna (a popular malaysian artist). it’s not.
- natura is daim’s favourite district. he likes how calm it is compared to the others.
- daim said that they wanted a hint of hope in all three of yinu’s backstory photographs, to show that no matter how bad your life gets, there’s always that glimmer of hope and that good things can still happen.
1010
- the members of 1010 do not have any official names.
- the assets for the autographs were made by the artists at one of the partner companies working with metronomik on nsr. haz and daim didn't really have anything to do with making them, and while daim did approve them for the final game, he was sorta skimming through a bunch of assets along with the autographs, and he didn't realize what they really were at the time until later. haz is impressed with how the fans managed to decipher them.
- 1010's fight was purposefully put between yinu's and eve's as a break from the emotional stuff.
- michael jackson was used as a reference for 1010's animations/moves.
- the Bio Tactical Shield that you get for zuke after beating 1010 is a reference to BTS.
- tangibly related, but the collectable figurines are supposed to serve more as a backstory to vinyl city as a whole, rather than 1010 or neon j. daim describes the figures as what events were going on and what people were doing before the events of nsr.
- 1010’s appearance from older trailers (where they all looked the same) were actually placeholders. 1010’s actual designs weren’t finished yet when those trailers were released.
- parts of 1010’s designs (for their bodies/outfits) were inspired by tron uprising, a project that daim worked on.
- somebody asked why 1010 and neon j have sculpted butt plates. daim and haz have no idea, but daim suggested that ellie (who designed 1010) and jan (who did their character models) put them there to up the “sexy robot” factor.
- daim’s favourite member of 1010 is purl-hew/blue, and haz’s favourite is eloni/green.
- the members of 1010 were designed based on popular tropes in boy bands. rin/white is “the main guy,” zimelu/red is the “bad boy,” purl-hew/blue is the “cool guy,” haym/yellow is the “young/innocent one,” and eloni/green is the “weird/funny one.”
- eloni/green not getting fan mail was based on how the “funny guy” of kpop bands/idol groups don’t seem to get as much attention as the rest of the group.
NEON J
- haz and daim didn't expect neon j to become so popular. haz joked about blaming it on ddaddystar, who did that doodle of djss and neon j from the credits.
- when asked about neon j’s age, daim said he’s definitely older than djss, and that he could be in his forties.
- related to the age thing, someone in chat said he should be older if he went to war in the sixties. haz replied by saying they never mentioned what year the game takes place in, so it doesn’t necessarily take place in the present/2020.
- a lot of people asked about the border wars, and daim and haz said they like leaving the bulk of it up to fan interpretation.
- daim said that neon j’s organs were preserved in a robotic shell after the war, and that’s why he’s considered a cyborg.
- as stated above, daim is a djneon/neonnova shipper, and it’s one his favourite pairings alongside zuke/mayday.
- neon j’s monologue was slightly longer, but it was cut down because zul (neon j’s va) didn’t do very many takes for the monologue, and the takes he did do didn’t have the comedic punch that daim was looking for, so it got shortened.
- the singing parts of neon j’s lines were ad-libbed by zul in his audition, and daim liked it so much that it stayed for the final game.
- neon j’s monologue had to be altered in the japanese dub so that the jokes/comedy would make more sense.
EVE
- the color changing paintings from her boss fight were created by accident.
- eve was put as the last boss because of how emotional her relationship with zuke was and how complicated and intricate she is as a whole compared to the rest of the bosses.
- daim considers eve to be the "final boss" for zuke, while tatiana is the final boss for mayday.
- eve took the longest to develop out of all the bosses. she was orignally a lot more complicated, and daim said they had to "filter" a lot of things about her in order to tone her down and fit her into the game.
- eve was almost scrapped from the game. daim said her concept as an eccentric artist wasn't as well known as the other four bosses’ concepts, and combine that with how long it took to finalize her... yeah.
- none of the artists have set in stone heights because of how the gameplay works, but eve is the tallest one. the closest scene in the game that has them at their actual heights is the ending.
- her name was originally eva, but it was changed bc there’s already a popular artist with the same name.
- daim explains that a big part of eve’s concept and theme is her embracing herself. he uses the example of eve’s backstory where she starts out hating herself and trying to cover the pink half of her face, but then starts doing less of that overtime. he also mentions that all the body parts (hands, arms, legs, etc.) from her fight also come from her embracing her body and using it in her artwork.
- dream fever is haz’s favourite district.
- daim didn’t originally think of zuke and eve as being an actual couple until later down the line when the story heavily implied it.
- eve’s younger designs were done by lzbros, who did all the 2d animation for the game.
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petewentzisblack1312 · 4 years ago
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hey dils!! was listening to sunshine riptide and thought of u so i wanted to say i hope ur taking care and also ask if u have any favorite fob videos/interviews?? lately i have been obsessed w the promo video patrick did for the honda civic tour where he drove around LA and said the only reason they got the tour was because he already drove a civic ahsjdbd
first of all it is SO flattering that listening to sunshine riptide made you think of me 🥺
secondly i was molded out of clay to answer this question, 100% i have a lot that i think about like way too often
the one where petes giving a tour of his parents house where he lived at the time and was showing off his stuff and was particularly very excited about the fact that his band was turned into action figures and then half way through andy shows up and is like "were best friends forever!" and petes like "yeah andy comes over for sleepovers a lot, we hang out in my basement and make zines and stuff" and then at the end he gets all excited cuz he hears his moms car pull up and he goes out and shes coming out of the car and then patrick gets out of the car carrying groceries and petes like "here mom me and patrick can put the groceries away you finish the interview" and shes like "no- pete i just got home from work im a mess" and hes like "what? no! no mom you look great, you can finish the interview well take in the groceries" and then she did and the camera crew came back to the two of them messing around and putting groceries away.
"pete wentz is honestly the only way to describe pete wentz. hes the most complicated guy i know." [cut to] "if anyone can make a strike without touching the lane i will pay you $300" *throws bowling balls straight into the air* *runs down the lane*
ok but in all seriousness i love that interview not only for that iconic moment but because later the footage is like blaring i dont care and pete goes and grabs a stuffed giraffe out of the prize thingie and hes like "what do you mean :)? we bought this with our tickets!!" and the editors are very much trying to make it a bad boy rebel without a cause moment except if you looked the woman behind the counter had a smile on her face and was laughing and then afterwards he gave it back and said "we werent really gonna steal it" but it really seemed like she knew that already
and then at a different point a couple fans showed up and they were all shy and excited to meet him and he was just like "hey are you guys coming to the show later" and they were like "yeah" and he was like "cool! thanks for coming out :) do you want a picture?" and they took a picture and it seemed like he was still kinda excited that people were excited to meet him. marcus (their bodyguard) was like trailing behind him and smiling and laughing throughout most of these antics and i just think thats sweet.
later in this same interview once again as they were on the ride back to their hotel or whatever theyd brought back a fake moustache and patrick put it on and did a bunch of dumb impressions.
patrick: if i wasnt doing music i think id be like a music critic or music journalist or something
andy:...i thought you said youd work at walmart
theres this one srar era interview thats just joe and patrick riffing for like 15 minutes. like it looks like they just straight up forgot the interviewer was there its so funny theyre such good friends.
this one joe and pete interview where i dont even really remember what they were talking about but theres a moment where joes talking about music with this intense passion and pete just kinda looks at him with this level of brotherly pride that keeps me going
this one andy and pete interview where 1) there were waterfowl chillin behind them which was deeply fascinating to andy and 2) they took a moment to swivel their chairs and hug each other bc theyre besties
band superlatives, specifically the moment where theyre all separately like "technically marcus isnt in the band but like. its marcus." bc that was sweet, unofficial 5th member of fob. and also "whos the most talented" "patrick. patrick. its patrick, hands down." "hm. petes like a really good soccer player" like thats a moment out of a fucking sitcom
halloween asmr with pete wentz. the man cant act but god can he commit to a bit.
there was this like live text chat that they all were in with fans on some radio station website. there were a lot of very fun moments, including joe saying "this is very current technology." as a comment on how very dated the live chat was and andy being like "can we set an icon i wanna change mine to an XVX" and pete and joe being like "oh are you vegan straight edge? we had no idea." and then pete was like "actually i wanna change my icon to andy hurley" and andy was like "no pete im not gonna send you a picture of me" and he was like :( and then a minute later he changed it to andy and he was like, and i swear this is almost a direct quote "BOOM! i love my life haha" and andy was like "goddammit" like i have no idea where to find this but it was so good.
theres this one "this or that" interview with joe and andy wherein the interviewer was a woman and like she seemed pretty at ease around them and got to the last question and imo seemed kinda uncomfortable and kind of established (in a way that seemed like she didnt usually do that) that it was a gross question, which was "would you have sex with a super hot celebrity but shes just died" and both of them were like "hey. what the fuck. absolutely not." and shes like "oh thats a first" and they are both like "do people say yes to that????????" and shes like "youre literally the first people to say no haha" in a way that made it seem that she did not find it funny and i just find that to be an interesting moment and i hope shes doing well and has a better producer now.
theres this one interview w andy on a hardcore podcast where the interviewer asks andy "do you every wish fall out boy were more political?" and he said (paraphrasing) "fall out boy is political, in its own way. we may not be as explicit with our politics as my other stuff, but kids find fall out boy, and through me, with all my other bands, or through joe, since he does a lot of metal, find heavier stuff, and are introduced to this stuff and to being vegan straight edge or anarchist or just more radical politics, and i dont think that just because we arent being super political in our music we arent a political band" which was really something to me bc i had just been thinking about that as a concept i call "gateway punk"
theres this one interview i recently found of a very small chicago music news outlet where a young lady interviewed pete and asked far more interesting questions than any other interviewer id ever seen and one such question was how he felt about the legalization of marijuana in illinois and he said that it was cool that it was legal but everyone locked up for it right now should be released and i like that he got to be political
theres a moment on the badass jew podcast episode joe was on where the interviewer whomst i do not recall was espousing some veiled antiblack sentiments wrt some antisemitic comments some famous black people had made and joe just completely rebutted it immediately and pointed out that black people not only are not a monolith bht are at a greater disadvantage
and also he made a joke that i could never make and cant fully get bc im not jewish but it was very funny and i love hearing people make jokes that arent for me.
this one interview before patrick had kids where he was saying how everyone kept asking him and elisa when theyd have kids and he was like "you cant just make that happen yknow? how do you just do that?" and pete immediately grinned and leaned over and mock whispered "you have sex" and patrick punched the air and was like "i hate you so much"
that one interview about abap where pete was like "we actually got the guy who did the whistles on patience by guns n roses to do it on this" and then he looks over at patrick and patrick shakes his head and petes like "you couldnt let me have this?" and he was like "i was gonna but then you looked at me and i just couldnt."
"whats the most important thing to you right now?"
patrick: star wars
joe: my daughter.
patrick: ...my son?
the puppy interview. everyone involved including the puppies was having the time of their goddamn life.
i have to stop this is too much its been like an hour
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bciwasinlove · 4 years ago
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Ask your law student friend why Louis has such bad lawyers that they missed really bad clauses in his contracts that are different from everyone elses so much so that he can't even sue while other XF have and others have said no including Leona Lewis Rebecca Fergusson others like Little Mix left and so many spoke out about the industry for decades while only Louis cannot. I mean even Zayn and Liam spoke out about what was going on, controll and how they didn't let Zayn change hairstyles etc
Hello anon I assume this is in response to my reblog of Allies @skepticalarrie post? Well first off my mutral seems to be offline bc she isn't answering DMs [so if she comes on later with a response I will edit this post and add her response] but I don't even need to ask her or any of the rest of my GC to give you an answer to this. It's simple the people you listed like Leona Lewis and Rebecca Ferguson all have things in common that they don't share with 1D. Those former Xfactor UK contestants never got big outside the UK unlike 1D who was known EVERYWHERE. Even Little Mix as big as they are in the UK they never got worldwide big like 1D. This is mostly because Simon being Simon only caring about money wanted LM big in the UK and 5H big in the US and if LM tried to cross over to the US it wouldn't allow both groups to make him money.
The bigger an act/star you are the less control and leeway you have while the smaller you are the more control you have and easier it is to get out of things. Over 90% of former Xfactor contestants/Syco artists that have spoken out about all the issues never got to 1D level fame and at best were big in the UK only. Leona only had one decent hit song here in the US and then no one in the US heard from her again. 1D being WORLDWIDE famous and apart of a boyband who [in the labels eyes] all their fans were young women who dreamed of dating them meant they were under heavy contract so their was much less of a chance they could speak out.
SO as you stated some of the members have spoken out but they spoke out about obvious things like being heavily over worked [5 years, 5 albums, 4 world tours] and their PERSONAL health and the ways they dealt with being over worked they never really said anything that would make people outside the fandom glance at Syco/Simon. None of the members who spoke out went oh yeah Simon and his label gave us all fake images, closeted some of us and treated us like garbage yada yada. On top of that the reason Louis has been the one who hasn't spoken out about anything is because it's been damn well clear out of ALL the members Syco/Simon kept the biggest eye on Louis.
They were the most scared of Louis they knew out of all the members HE was the one who would risk it all to expose their asses! LOUIS was the one who fought for them to produce their own music, LOUIS was the one who fought for them to write their own music and change their sound everything that changed about 1D was LOUIS doing. They kept Louis on a figuritive dog leash because they knew he was the one they needed to watch out for which is why Louis was still stuck with Syco/Simon after 1D went on haitus while the other members were under different Sony labels. There's a rumor flying around other major labels wanted Louis for his solo career but Simon/Syco stopped that from happening.
They have always tried to screw Louis over and it was clear when Louis was suppose to release his first album and go on tour in 2018 but instead they had him be a judge on the Xfactor. He gets almost ZERO promo and out of all the 1D members he is the ONLY one who doesn't get radio play [at least here in the US]. The main thing Simon did to try and screw Louis over in a way that would be long lasting way after he was our of the picture is babygate. If one believes the media lies and the stories "that are for the sun" than Louis seems like a pretty shit person. They are now so deep into babygate they don't even know how to end it but even if it did end tomorrow it clearly did the lasting damage Simon wanted on Louis. Babygate was all about control and wanting to ruin Louis because they seemed to have a personal vendetta against Louis.
Anyways back to the main point all this isn't to say Harry hasn't wanted to expose them to but since 2014 the Azoffs had been circling around Harry just WAITING to snatch him up for his solo career and I believe Jeff saw how Harry was being treated so he made Harry believe if he came with him and Columbia things would be better for him, Harry believed him and since the Azoffs have more power than Simon it wasn't hard for them to take Harry from Simon/Syco.
I do think it was easier for Simon/Syco to scare Harry into doing as they said. We have seen since the beginning Harry was always scared of what others thought of him [ex: painted his nails back in 2012] and overthinking most things so they 100% played on that feeding him lies [from when he was ONLT SIXTEEN A KID] as to what would happen if he didn't listen to them and how "they know what's best for him to succeed" where as Louis he never gave a damn, saw through the lies easily and was definitely the one who stood up to them especially when they did something he didn't agree with to another member.
That's why Louis is the one who hasn't spoken out he the one they put on the biggest leash making sure he would stay quite because they KNOW he was the hardest one to control and they DON'T know what would happen the minute he is off his leash. His Directors Cut MV tells the whole story of how much the "evil one" tells him what he can and can't do and the consequences he will face if he goes against them. He's been on a massive leash for a long time he is now gone from Syco so I can only HOPE something is going to happen SOMETHING will change but only time will tell.
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lunarrwolf · 4 years ago
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black butterflies [colby brock]
fandom: sam and colby/traphouse
pairing: colby x self
word count: 1,864
part(s): one two
summary: after a prank gone wrong, colby and his friends meet another youtuber during her meet and greet in hopes it will cheer her up
A/N: this is a self-insert because it’s a fic that was started for my own personal pleasure. it was supposed to be shared last year on my fan account after a poll was done but never was bc i ended up not feeling ready to do so. i figured since i‘m ready to share it now, it would be best to do it here since it’s pretty detailed
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TWO
She was going to be okay, right? She didn't need Casey to be there every step of the way. The redhead wasn't even needed for the business over in California. She always did perfectly fine without her longtime friend in all the solo videos. Casey was only there for a fraction of the recorded moments. Besides, the argument that night made it clear that she only ever pretended to enjoy the spooks that came with being a part of the channel. There was never any pure joy or thrill that usually came with experiencing such things with your friend. Yet those were half of the best memories Kirsy had with her since the beginning of the channel. They'd been best friends since eighth grade, and yet one prank likely destroyed a friendship of seven years. It was a sad fact that she had to suck up and admit so it wouldn't ruin the trip. So far the only bright side was that her best friend since her sophomore year of high school was going to be keeping her company.
“Please don't tell me you're sulking.” She blinked, realizing she was thoughtfully staring at the half packed suitcase on her bed. She turned her head to the doorway that had a twenty-four year old leaning against it.
Aiden met Kirsy during a school talent show that she was chosen to film. He was one of those viewers always looking for new people to subscribe to, and he found her page only weeks before the show when she had around 1,000 subscribers. He helped a lot with photos and editing, and was the only person who was a real friend for her out of the new ones she made after her channel became widely known. After Casey left, he stepped up as what he described as the 'better best friend’.
She sighed at the raised eyebrow adorning his face and sat on the bed, crossing her legs. “I have a right to sulk, jerkface.”
“Jerkface? You've had better insults than that.” He straightened his posture and walked over to the girl, sitting on the other side of the suitcase. “Was it fair to spring a horror movie on her less than a week after her return from vacation? No- no it was not. But she was in the wrong to just leave you like that. You apologized several times, and has she responded at all? No. And why?”
“I really don't want to have one of your sometimes vulgar speeches right now-”
“Why hasn't she replied?”
Kirsy sighed and hung her head back, letting silence sink in for a brief moment. “Because she’s a jealous supporting character who only stayed because I ended up making money from my videos?”
Aiden raised his eyebrows and leaned back against the mattress, “That wasn't a statement.”
“Well what is it that you want me to say?!” She lifted her arms in exasperation, throwing herself back only to realize that the half empty trunk was still there. She groaned, hiding her face in the side of the object as the young man beside her rolled his eyes.
Once he became familiar with the ginger himself, he was an eyewitness to all fights and disagreements between the pair, as well as the resolutions that came along with them. After the second or third time, he started to observe the way they interacted with one another. Kirsy used to have a tendency of going too far with what she said or did but stopped when she saw how it affected people, which is why this last prank really surprised him. On the other hand, Casey was someone who held grudges and would say the opposite of what she meant when she was upset by something. Her temper raised more than others he knew, and after such a long vacation from the type of content his friend makes, it probably pushed her off the edge. It wasn’t right to pull a stunt like that but it was less right to refuse to resolve issues or just be civil after the other party puts in so much effort to fix a wrong.
They may have become friends when he was a senior and they were sophomores, but he considered Kirsy his closest. She was the type to either not be fazed by other people or bottle things up if she was; there was never an in-between. He watched her bemused as she kept her face on the side of the suitcase, reaching for a pillow to throw on top of her head. “I don’t want you to say anything. I want you to stop being so depressing.”
“Depressed is my default.”
There was a beat of silence after her muffled reply, then laughter broke out in the empty room. She lifted her head from underneath the pillow to see Aiden trying to keep himself from laughing too hard. He didn’t know if it was because of how she sounded or because of the fact she said it so casually, but he couldn’t help himself. Seeing her friend enjoy himself over something she said did make her feel better. So - she threw the object back at him and sat up. He dialed it down immediately, chuckling when they made eye contact. “I’m sorry but while that wasn’t the thing I was looking for, it was something. And you need to realize that you can’t control what other people do and how they handle things. You can, however, control how you handle shit. Now I say you finish packing so we can get our asses to fucking California and you can show me off to all of your west coast kids.”
She stared at him for a short moment before pointing at him, “See? Vulgar speech.” He rolled his eyes and she grinned, hopping off her bed to go to her closet.
The young man followed suit, staring at the mostly black attire. “Alright- you better pick the cutest alternative clothes you have if we’re going to be meeting cute boys.”
Kirsy rolled her eyes immediately, not surprised at all with her friend’s judgement and eagerness for them to find boyfriends. Or even just someone for each of them only for the time they would be over there for the trip. “We’re going to Los Angeles, Aiden. Where is there going to be a cute guy who’s also not going to end up being a jerk?”
-
The former blonde eyed the boy going over how they could approach the vlogger when the time comes.
Colby didn’t want to come off cocky or dismissive by bringing up their channels. He also didn’t want to seem too eager since they all now watched her videos just as much as she did theirs. It felt like there was a lot riding on this. It was different than if they would run into each other at a convention somewhere, and he didn’t fully know why. At least, he would always tell himself he didn’t know. “Her meet up isn’t for another two days- why are you freaking out?”
He slumped over the counter, planting his head down into his folded arms. His roommates and closest friends all watched him with knowing looks as he tried several times to brush off the subject. He met each of their gazes, “I’m not freaking out. I just want her to meet some nice people.”
“Her fans are nice people.” Corey cut in, jumping up to sit on the counter across from the kitchen’s island.
The dark brunette only attempted the same trivial action, waving a hand to dismiss the sentence as if it wasn’t a fact. He knew how great a community the girl built up. She always talked about wanting to grow her own family and have that connection with so many people; not one based off of fandoms she was in but based on her own content and genuine following. He was one of those members, only he kept it more low-key than his friends in order to let her have that part of her dream. What Corey said rang, yet at the same time- “Ones she can talk to. I’m sure she would love to meet someone who understands.”
“And this has nothing to do with the fact that you like her.” Jake stated, raising an eyebrow at his friend, daring for him to deny it. It was something he was ready to do the moment the words left his roommate’s lips.
It just didn’t make sense to develop feelings of any kind for something you’d never met or even spoken to - did it? They were two YouTubers who started at different times, somehow never ran into one another at conventions, and she was a fan of his and his roommates long before she started launching her own career in this industry. He never followed the account she had that was mostly dedicated to him but he remembered liking countless posts and reading some of the captions directed at him that he never replied to.
He did notice how similar they were - sense of style, music taste, outlook on life and the many hair color changes - but it couldn’t have stirred anything up. Maybe he just knew that they would get along well if they met in real life versus just knowing that the other existed. There didn’t have to be a whole situation where he developed a crush on a girl who made a fan account for him and showed up in his mentions a lot. Someone who was a fan of him and his content for years before he even acknowledged her; and that was before she started her own channel and brand. At the same time though, before she stopped tagging him in edits and posts, every time she would respond to his posts and such were done without sounding like an actual fan. From the few times he would catch her comments, she made it seem as if they were friends. And her replies always matched his own feeling and hope of someone understanding what he would mean.
The self proclaimed ‘emo god’ of the group could only voice his denial before announcing his leave of the kitchen. After so long, his closest friends knew exactly how their comrade behaved when he was attracted to or was beginning to like someone. They knew he was going to be in denial for at least the two days leading up to all of them seeing the twenty-two year old off screen.
When Colby reached his bedroom, he threw himself on top of the large covers on his bed, placing his hands behind his head as he stared at the ceiling. The ding that indicated a Twitter notification sounded in the silence, and he fished his phone out of his pocket. He saw that he’d been tagged in another post and decided to check it out, expecting it to be art or some selfies for the trend his fans started. It was the latter, although it ended up being a tag from Kirsy’s account. He looked at the photos thoughtfully before pressing the heart on the screen.
Maybe there was another reason for going to her meet up.
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jenni42085 · 4 years ago
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Nervous <One>
Chapter 1
 Evangeline “Lena” nervously shakes her leg and tries to let the music soothe her mind and soul.  Mentally she is thinking of how much people will be upset if she just decides to trade in her return ticket sooner to be closer with her daughter.  Her parents and his parents both agreed she needed a break and some “me time” but she wasn’t too sure if this was a smart idea.  She realizes her daughter is young and won’t fully remember her being gone for a week but guilt still plagues her.  She leans her head against the window and thinks of him.  
 Thinking of all the good things he is missing, not by choice but rather fate’s choice.  300 days since he was taken from her in a tragic car accident.  She can still remember the officers at her door looking sad and not sure what to tell her.  A wave of sadness washed over her as she felt the sadness that has slightly controlled her life the last 300 days.  Some days were better than others but a day like today where she is flying to see her best friend Marylea in California with out her precious Eevee makes her a little bit more on edge and more time to let her mind wander to different places and topics.
 Usually having the playful but shy 1 year old makes her mind focus on her instead of who isn’t with her anymore.  She is wondering if this week will help her or make her regret ever coming out.  It’s only a week she thinks to herself.  A small part of her thinks that she needs a little time away to completely heal but the rest of her feels guilty for letting her family watch her daughter.  Her greatest joy lately in life has been being a mom.  She thought being a wife was an amazing thing but since being a mom she has felt like her life was complete.  She leans her head back as the plane endures some turbulence, I pray this plane makes it, Eevee can’t lose another parent.  With those final thoughts she drifted into a well deserved nap.
 **************************************************************************************************************
 “No, no, no” Jeff yells as he frustratedly throws the next headshot back in the stack of the others “These girls aren’t what we needing for his image!  Does anyone ever listen to me?”  As he says this he looks around at a few people to have them acknowledge him and his question.  He sees yet another text from his client Chris going unanswered since he already knows what Chris is going to ask him. 
 “Maybe he could just not go because of a ‘medical problem’” he heard someone say.
 “Absolutely not!  This man is Captain America!  He has great health and it really great with the press AND his fans.  There is no way he is going to miss this premeire.”
 “Well, what exactly is he wanting?” Marylea asks as she quietly places his drink order in front of him.  She was still new to California and was looking for better work than being a runner.  She wanted to write but she knew she had to first pay her dues.  So until they thought she was ready to write, she’d be getting coffee.  
 For the first time in a long time he felt hopeless.  He knew Chris never had any crazy demands, so he was trying hard to please him.  It is not that often you get an actor who isn’t a complete douche bag, acts crazy in public,  or hasn’t made a bunch of unattainable goals.  Jeff runs this hands through his bleached blonde hair and grabs his coffee and looks at his new assistant.  She hasn’t been there long but he knows she always got his coffee right and she was always quiet.  Maybe the mouse is finally showing that she is more than a coffee runner.  “He wants a real woman.  Not a model, an actress, or anything like that.  He wants to take a person to the charity event and movie premiere who makes him happy.  Someone who looks like they go together.”
 “You know he is our client and we will do most everything for him but, we aren’t a dating site.”  Anna states flatly as she takes a sip of her water. 
“Not the point. Happy people make for better press.  The guy wants to go out a few times with someone who isn’t completely star struck.”  Jeff knows what would make his client happy, he just has to find it. 
Marylea stood quietly as she debated on letting Jeff know that she had a person who could possibly fill that position. She’s well aware that Lena hasn’t been seeing anyone since the death of her husband. And she had  met Chris a few times and sat in a few meetings with him and honestly he seemed like a good guy.  She thinks they would actually make a great couple since they are both so loving, giving, and most importantly selfless.
Jeff noticed that Marylea had gotten even more quiet and was silently debating something in her head. “Speak.”
Startled Marylea looks up at him like a deer caught in headlights. “I.... ummm ....”
“Well...”, Jeff stares at her slightly intimidating at her. 
“My friend is in town for a month or so.  She isn’t a model or anything like that.”
“Ok and ?” Anna replies with the look that Marylea shouldn’t have been talking. 
“Well, to be honest. She’s black and quite beautiful if you ask me. She is single and honestly needs a boost in confidence”
Anna rolls her eyes while Jeff looks intrigued, “ If she is so beautiful why isn’t she in a relationship now?”
 Marylea was really hoping no one would have asked that question but it would come out sooner or later. “Her husband died about a year ago. She has a one year daughter.  She’s been giving all her time and energy into raising her alone.  Even with that on her plate she still volunteers and fosters animals.”
 “So no crazy exes?” Jeff questions.  Marylea shakes her head quickly. “Why is she out here for a month?  Where is the baby?”
 By this point Marylea has decided to pull up a chair and sit down with the table of inquiring minds to the issue. “All of her friends and family think she needs a break. Her parents are watching her daughter for a week, then she is being flown out here. As her bestie, it is my job to get her back in society as a 34 year old mom. You know kind of get her groove back.”  
 Jeff slowly shakes his head. “This.  This might actually work”. He stands up and stretches as he is thinking that this will benefit everyone. “The press eats it up when people have kids and everyone knows how much Chris loves kids we could have them doing events for kids.  Depending how beautiful you say your friend is she might have a gig for a bit. But this is upon Chris’ approval though.”
 “That’s fine. Hold on I have a few good pictures of her and Eevee.”
 “She named her daughter after a Pokémon?” Anna replies with a smug smirk. 
 Marylea doesn’t appreciate anyone talking about her god-daughter like that.  “No, her name is Evelyn. Eevee is her nickname thank you very much.” 
 By this point Gary has joined the group at the table and smiles like he has won the lottery. It’s not very often Marylea even talks let alone sticks up for herself or anyone but here she goes. “Meow!  This little kitty is finally showing her claws.”
 Hearing that Marylea blushes and puts her head down slightly. “I wouldn’t have suggested her if I didn’t think she was a good choice or that you guys had anyone who would fill the requirements you are looking for.”
 “Good point. Well, she a beautiful girl and her daughter is adorable.”  Jeff says as he hands Marylea’s phone back to her. 
 She opted on the most recent picture she has of her bestie granted it wasn’t the happiest day. Ezra’s funeral. Lena was in a simple black dress with her wedge heels to give her some height. She had opted to pull her naturally curly hair into a sleek bun. Lena was never one for a lot of makeup but on that day she wanted to look her best for him so she did smoky eye makeup and wing tips. Eevee was in her arms in a black tutu. 
 “When does she get here?”  Jeff questions. 
 Marylea looks down at her phone. “She should be here in about an hour. Her flight from West Virginia left on time from the looks of things.”
 “So we can meet her soon?”  Gary perks up to hearing this news. He honestly was tired of looking through millions of head shots of females who didn’t fit the criteria that was asked. 
 “Yeah. I was going to have her meet me here to get my house key then get settled.”
 Jeff thought about things and looked at his phone and quickly sent a message out to Chris. “Have her come here and we will let Chris meet her directly to see what he thinks.  If he approves then you can tell her about a gig she has.  Deal?”
 “Deal!” Marylea replies excitedly.  
 ************************************************************************************************************************************************
 Lena rubs her eyes and stretches as she is one of the last ones to get off the plane. She didn’t think she needed sleep but apparently she did.  It felt to actually sleep soundly and not have to wake up every 45 minutes or so bc she was afraid something was happening with Eevee. 
 This will be the longest she has gone without her little girl and it is kind of uncomfortable. Only a week.  She continues to think of the benefits of having a week away and she isn’t really getting a lot of positives.
 Lena takes her cellphone out and messages everyone to let them know she made it safely and check on her daughter.  Once she knows everyone is ok, she breathes deeply and is enjoying the feel of the sun on her toasted almond skin.  She doesn’t need a tan but a little extra sun would be great for the full on J.Lo effect that she likes.  This is going to be a good trip.  I’m ready for new experiences and new friends.  Uber drops her off in front of a boring blue building, she texts Marylea to let her know she was outside and waiting for the key. 
 “Lena!!!  You finally made it here!”  Marylea shouts when she sees her bestie of ten plus years.  Marylea practically knocks Lena over in an embrace. “I’ve missed you soooo much!”
“I know!” Lena replies just as excited as her bestie. “I’m loving it out here already. It’s so much better than Charleston.”
“Now you see why I hate coming home sometimes.”
“I totally get it. So what time do you get off?”
Marylea thought about breaking the news to her or just letting her relax first. “Well I don’t get off for another few hours. You can hang here if you want. And ...”
“I don’t mind waiting for you and seeing how much of a big shot you are from a small town,” Lena replies. She wasn’t really tired the nap on the plane ride was plenty of sleep. At this point she was ready to explore. 
Hearing Lena say she has no problem with waiting for her made the stress in her chest relax. Might as well let her get her guard down then tell her, but it might be better to do it like a band aid.  “That’s great!  I may or may not have a project/favor to ask of you.”
“Shoot. Anything for you!” Lena replies with out thinking. 
“Are you sure?”
“Yes of course.  This is vacation right. What’s the worse you could ask of me?”
Marylea looks at her feet as they ride up the elevator. “Funny you should say that.... so you know this is my new job.”  Lena nods and keeps smiling. “Well, I may or may not of gave your name to be a date for a celebrity.”
“Excuse me?”  Lena relaxed smile went straight into a deer in headlights look. “You are shitting me right?” 
Marylea shakes her. “I shit you not.  They want needed someone who would go to a few functions this month with a client.”
“Ok but they couldn’t find a model or another actress?”
“See that’s the thing he requested someone who wasn’t in the industry.  He didn’t want a white or ambiguously racial lady.  He wanted someone real.”
“So you thought I would be a great person to fill those shoes?!?”  The elevator comes to a halt and Lena feels her blood pressure raising.  “I mean have you looked at me?  And I have a daughter. Who would want to date me?!?  Even if it is fake.” 
Marylea can tell Lena is having a small manic episode due to the fact she was speed walking down a hall way in a place she has never been in. “Lena calm down please. Everyone can see you!” She squeaks out, even though the outside of the building looks horrible the inside has been renovated with all glass walls which everyone can see.
Lena turns around and stops in her tracks. She is feeling stressed but, she doesn’t want her best friend to lose her job that she has worked so hard to get. “Yes yes. I’m sorry but have you looked at me lately and thought to ask me first?”
“You were on the plane.”
“Not the point,” she replies with a grin. 
Marylea tilts her head to the side and grins back,” would you rather have a smoke signal?” 
“Yes.”
“Smart ass.” To that Lena flips her off then hangs her head down. “Look I know you aren’t thrilled about it but, I figure this is a good stepping stone for me to start writing and not being a coffee runner.  Plus when I was told what they wanted I couldn’t think of anyone else but you.”
Lena’s face soften with happiness to know her best friend thinks that much of her. “What about Eevee?  I can’t be away from her for a month to do a ‘gig’. I’m stressed out from being away from her after 13 hours.”
“They already know you have a child and etc., and it’s not even guaranteed that he is going to be cool with this whole idea my boss has thought up.”  
************************************************************************************************************************************************
Chris nervously sat on Jeff’s couch as he waited for this mystery lady to show up. He knows that he asked Jeff for something of a miracle but he was starting to realize while he is waiting maybe he could have done a dating site. But he couldn’t kid himself he has been trying on and off for 3 years and every time he would think the lady was into him for him, she would start asking for help to “break in” to the business.  At least with the girl being Jeff’s assistance friend maybe just maybe she has no interest is the business. 
“Lena calm down!  Everyone can hear and see you!”  He heard Marylea whisper scream at a short messy bun wearing beauty speed walking down the hall way.  Chris couldn’t see her facial features but her body type was that of someone he wouldn’t kick out of bed. She had on ripped Bermuda shorts with an oversized button down yellow shirt that made her skin glow. He noticed she has a few tattoos showing. 
“Jeff.” Chris asked standing up stretching. “Is your mystery girl here yet?”  
Jeff looks up from his desk looking at Marylea and the mystery tattooed girl walk into her office. “Yeah, I do believe she just walked in with Marylea. What do you think so far?” 
Chris walks closer to the glass wall to get a better look at the girl even though she is still pretty far away. “ I don’t know. Maybe we can try. I still need to see her face to face and not from a distance.”
Jeff noticed the way Chris was focusing on the short mess bun wearing girl who was pacing around in Marylea’s office that he might have found something he likes. Granted the picture he was shown of the girl she was quite beautiful, hell she’d be his type if he wasn’t already crushing on someone else. 
“Well, I’ll get Marylea and Evangeline to come meet you for a few minutes and tell me what you think.  You know I’ll never make you do anything of this nature unless you want to.”  
“Yes I know.”  Chris replies still not taking his eyes of the girl pacing. Her body language looked like she was on the brink of a panic attack. 
************************************************************************************************************************************************
“Marylea.” Jeff’s voice came over the intercom and made both the of females jump attention. “Is your friend here and ready to meet him?”
Marylea quickly glances at Lena with pleading eyes and her clasped together. She sees Lena nod her ok. “Yeah she’s here and I’ll bring her to your office.”
“Ok great hurry up. Time is of the essence.”  Jeff said as the line when dead. 
“You know you owe me right?”  Lena looks at her while her hands are slightly shaking as she looks into the mirror. “By the way. . . You never told me who this ‘big shot’ was.”
“Don’t freak out ok?”
“Yeah, see saying that makes me want to not only freak out but panic majorly.”
“Lena.”
“Spill it Marylea.”
Marylea takes a deep sigh, “ it’s Chris Evans.”
Lena stood there a moment and took in who she just said. “Like Captain America Chris Evans?”  Marylea looks silently at her and slowly nods. “ no way on God’s green precious earth. Have you looked at me and have you legit seen him?!? “
“Look, Jeff thinks you would be perfect for Chris. Just meet him first. Please??”
“Fine let’s go.... this won’t last long. He’ll meet me and see what I’m in and immediately turn me down.”  Lena says as she links her arm with Marylea. 
“Stop thinking the worst. Please. You and I could really use something awesome happening to us.  Plus you are a smoking hot momma with a cute booty”  
Lena sighs deeply and leans her head on Marylea. “I know we both do but how do you know that this is it?  Like couldn’t we just win the lottery or something easier?  Something less stressful?!?” 
By the tone of Lena’s voice she could hear her friend was close to having a minor panic attack. She started breathing deeper so Lena could hear and start unconsciously breathing deep also.  This trick has always worked and apparently still does now. 
The pair stand outside of Jeff’s door for a brief second knowing the two men could see them. Marylea squeezes Lena hand and Lena gives her a nod of approval. 
Even with the nod of approval Lena is wondering why me.  Part of her is nervous because it was Chris freaking Evans, then the other part of her worries about what Ezra’s family thinks of her leaving Eevee for a week while she goes out with a movie star. 
Chris can see the nervousness of the messy bun golden brown skin goddess as she is tightening her grip on Marylea’s arm. Good to know he wasn’t the only one who was nervous. He got a better look at her, she had dark brown eyes, an adorably small nose, plump lips that looked kissable, and a diamond stud lip ring on the right side of my mouth. 
“Hello I’m Evangeline.” She stuck her hand out to Chris then Jeff. She gave them a strong handshake and nervous smile. 
“I’m Jeff and this is of course Chris.”  Jeff introduced even though they all knew Chris didn’t need to be introduced. The silence in the room started to go deafening and Jeff realized he needed to leave them alone to test the waters. “umm Marylea follow me to the board room will you?”
Marylea looked confused as to why they had to leave but she followed him out the room. 
“So.....you just flew in?”  Chris asks slightly nervous. 
“Umm yeah. Just an hour or so ago.”
“Was it a good flight?” He asks as she walks away from him to the window. She is maybe 5’5 if that, which is adorable. From what he count on her body that is showing she has about ten tattoos. Never dated a woman with that many she must be a badass. 
Lena can feel his eyes on her and she isn’t sure how she feels about this. Sure she has been checked out before but right now she feels like he might want more than just a date. “Yeah it was good. I slept most of the way so I consider it a good flight.”
“That’s good. So....”. Chris isn’t sure why this petite girl is making him so nervous. 
Lena turns around to look at him; if she didn’t know any better she’d think she makes him nervous like he makes her nervous.  She slowly crosses the room feeling his eyes on her the whole time. “So what exactly are you wanting or needing?  I’m not a call girl. I’m a mom. And isn’t there a model or struggling actress you could have  decided on?” 
Her bluntness shocked him and herself. She was internally shaking even saying it but, she didn’t have a chance to ask Marylea any of these questions.  Once it was all out she realized how rude she kind of sounded and that honestly wasn’t her character. “I’m sorry to sound so blunt and rude. I didn’t mean it to come off that way. I’m just .... I just ....” She stops again hanging her head in defeat, while plopping her body down on the couch next to the still stunned actor. “I’m just not sure I can be what you are wanting. This last year took a man who I loved very much away from me, I’m raising an one year daughter alone, I’m doing a week away from her and I guess I’m just not fully ready to come out of my shell even though I really need to.”
Chris sits there slightly stunned by everything she said. Honestly he couldn’t imagine how she is holding it all together but he admires that. “Well, I’ll be honest with you. I don’t want or need a call girl, model, or actress.  I tried dating sites but let’s be honest they are. . . “
They both look at each and say in unison, “horrible.”  They chuckle together and he continues.  “I just want some one different to spend some time with. Maybe go with me to a few events. Not as a girlfriend or anything but just a friend.  But if things develop I wouldn’t be upset either.” 
“Ok. That I could possibly do. But I have a little girl who comes first.”  Lena replies as she is slowly relaxing after his admission. 
“Oh I understand that you have a child and want her always to come first and I’ll help you in any way that I can.  Jeff said this was your vacation and I want you enjoy your time out here.  Maybe we could go to Disney one day,”  The look he gives her is meaning that he is honest about what he means. He isn’t sure of her whole backstory but he knows he is a smitten kitten with her genuine smile that lights up her whole face. “Can I see a picture of your little girl?”
Hearing all of this is slightly overwhelming and shocking to hear a man want to not only help out but also spend time with her daughter and want to see her. She smiles at him as she pulls her phone from her back pocket. “Umm let me find the most recent one of Evelyn.”  She shows him a picture that she took of her right before she left. She was in a blue polka dotted onesies with her hair in pigtails. 
He took the phone out of her hand examine the small infant who looks a lot like her mother with the same small nose and genuine smile. Her eyes and skin were a few shades lighter than her mother making him wonder if the baby’s father was white. “She’s absolutely adorable. So she will be here in a week?  Is she flying alone or with someone?”
“My in-laws are flying to Japan so they are flying to Cali with her for the layover.  I hope she is a good flyer.” She replies with a hopeful smile. 
“In-laws?  I don’t mean to pry but did you get a divorce?”  Chris asked before his mind would stop him. 
She knew that it would be asked sooner if not later. “No, he died in a car wreck right after Eevee was born.  I want her to know who he was from me and his side of the family, I keep the connection always open.  She’s their first grand child.”
He nods his head feeling like a dumbass for asking because he could see the slight bit of sadness come across her face when she was replying. With out thinking he puts his arm around her shoulder and gives her a hug. At first he felt her body tense by the sudden physical contact but she slowly relaxed in his arms. 
“Thanks.”
“Thanks for telling me. And just being honest.  I think that is why I needed help from Jeff because I just want to hang out and know someone genuinely. You know?”
“Understood.  Just odd that you would need help.”
“Really? Why is that?”
Lena bit on her lip ring finding the words to say not realizing that he thought she was absolutely adorable. “Well, let’s see. You are very handsome, and from what I’ve seen in the media an all around good guy.”
Chris blushes at her comment. He’s never been good accepting them and wondering if the person who says them are genuine or not. “Thanks. I try.”
A small silence happens between them but not in an awkward way.  “So, how are you guys doing?  What do you think?  Will this work for you Chris?”  Jeff says. The way he said it makes Chris slump, since it makes him feel like he has to accept to be polite even though he wanted to be linked up to her. 
Lena shifts her attention to Marylea who is giving her a hopeful smile.  This is worse then being picked for a team. “We are good. I think we are meshing really well.”
“Ok great!  We just have some paperwork to go over and need you to see his schedule and compare it to yours.” Jeff says as he crosses the room to his desk. 
“Paperwork?”  Lena and Marylea reply in unison. “What kind of paperwork?”
Jeff stops searching for documents on his computer to look at the two females. “Yes, paperwork. NDA meaning you won’t go to the press about Chris or any of his personal business.  Nothing to crazy and he can fill one out for you since you have a daughter.”
Chris looks at her, her expression is unreadable. He doesn’t do anything to be exposed to the paparazzi but he knows Jeff wants to be safe. “I’d rather her not sign it.”
“Umm excuse me?  Ladies I need a word with him. I’ll call you back in a few.”  Jeff says with a slightly frustrated look. 
The women nod and leave the room looking confused like Jeff. “Dude what’s that about?”  Jeff asks. 
“I trust her.”
“Maybe so but I think you should have her sign it.”
“I’d rather she not.  What if I end up with her?  I don’t want that to be a reason why she isn’t with me.”
“But you don’t even know her yet.”
“Key word is yet. I think we might actually be good together. If I don’t feel like it’s ok we can revisit it in two weeks”
Jeff sighs deeply and looks at the hopeful look on Chris’ face. “Fine. But two weeks and that is all.”
***************************************************************************************************************************************************
Lena and Marylea walked down the long hall way to Marylea’s office. Before the two got all the way to her office they hear heavy foodstuff coming their way. 
“Hey Evangeline! Wait up!” Chris says. 
“You guys done so soon?”  Lena asks with a questioning expression. “Ready for me to sign the papers?”
“Yes and no.”  The two women gave him confused expression.  “Yes we are done and no you don’t have to do the NDA.  I trust you.”
“Thanks.  I guess.”  Lena replies.  “So how does this all work?”
Chris shoves his hands in his pockets looking a little unsure.  “Well, we could lunch or dinner today if you would like.  I know you just got into town and I know you and Marylea will want to catch up.  Just figure a meal together to know more about each other and the events I have to attend.”
Marylea can see Lena’s body slowly grow tense, she knew Lena was probably going to put off hanging out with Chris as long as she could.  Before Lena could open her mouth, “How about your guys do lunch since I don’t get off work for a few more hours then afterwards us girls can have girl’s night.”
Lena turns her head and looks at Marylea like she has lost her mind.  “Yeah sure we can do lunch.”
“Great!  Let me tell Jeff I’m leaving and we will be good to go.”  Chris says cheerfully.
As soon as the door shuts, “Seriously?  What have you signed me up for?”  Lena says as she pulls out her mirror to make sure she looks decent to be seen out in public.
“You’ve signed up for a good time.  I promise it will be ok.  Just trust that it will be ok.  I think you guys will get along just fine.”
“Yes yes, but you owe me big.”
“I know.  Drinks on me tonight.”
Chris comes back to the office, “Ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.”  As the two leave Marylea’s office, Chris’ hand moves to Lena’s lower back to usher her out the room.  This will be ok.  This will be ok, she mentally chants to herself.
************************************
17 notes · View notes
narilgc · 5 years ago
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𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐃𝐈𝐃 𝐀 𝐁𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 . . . but i don’t regret the thing that i did !! hello all, i’ve been keeping this under wraps for the past few days but on a whim i’ve decided to bring on my second ( and last, i promise ) muse for the ride !! with that being said, it is jada here, max’s mun, but this time i’m presenting to you the wonderful im nari !! she was my initial idea before max, but i loved her too much to get rid of her !! i’m so excited for her to be here and i really hope she’s well received as well !! i’ve been slow on his acc for the past few days, and she’s the reason why, but now that i’ve gotten my life ( mostly ) together & things are running just fine again !! anyways, her profile’s here, and below you can find some general trivia on her as well as connection ideas !! oh, and like this to plot ! 
𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 :
from damyang, south korea !!  a v small agricultural town & was born into humble beginnings - a seamstress for a mom, and her dad a farmer !! so she lived on a small farm when she was younger and was raised with pigs, cows, and goats as pets !
she helped around the farm her whole time she lived home, so she has a lot of life skills t & knows all about caring for animals and tending the farm !
they weren’t well off by any means - they had a small income to spread thin between all those people - but they made it work !! she never felt truly slighted as she knew their situation, in fact in her own way, she was spoiled in the best way she could be given their predicament.
raised in a household full of boys - she’s the youngest w a family of 6 loud, rowdy boys.
so in a way she’s more of a tomboy, used to roughhousing and all her sibling’s antics !! she’s also used to doing a lot of heavy lifting around the farm so has surprising strength for her size.
on the other hand, being the youngest & only daughter has upped the girliness !! she’s used to being babied so knows all about acting cute & her mom was always using her as an experiment for all her clothes !! was raised on handmade dresses her mom made in all sorts of intricate patterns & loved it !!
has been an actress in the making for a g e s !!! it all started when she was a really young kid, her mom would let her watch the tv in the tailor shop so she’d have something to do while her mom was at work !!
so there was this drama “a rolling hills romance” ( which i TOTALLY made up lmao !! ) that she absolutely loooved !! it was about a farm romance and was one of the only ones she saw that wasn’t taking place in the city !! it just got her in love with acting in general though, she’d eventually memorize scenes from all the dramas she’d watch and recite them out of the blue !!!
eventually it got her into theatre acting, which was her favorite !! she started watching broadway shows from abroad, memorizing the songs even though she didn’t always know what they were saying. but she just loooved the whole thing, and when she was in middle school she joined her school’s theatre department !
this is where the majority of her english skills came into play - she would memorize the lyrics, and though she didn’t really know what they were saying after a while she began to understand some words !! so while her pronunciation is pretty good from mimicking actors, she lacks the vocab to really use it !!
so she’s really hesitant to speak in english, because if people hear her speak they think she’s a lot more fluent than she is & it lands her in awkward situations !! so she mainly just ... doesn’t do that lol !!
i can’t believe i forgot this when i first wrote this !! this is a very vital part of her character omg !! her first “acting debut” if you could call it that was for a chocolate commercial when she was 8 !! basically she was in this christmas commercial for peppermint chocolates that got on tv and everyone in her town went crazy !! she like goes and delivers these chocolates while singing jingle bells and it’s wholesome and cute and swet !! it wasn’t that big at all lol but for their small town it was, and to them she’s a sort of small celebrity for it !! i’m sure some people might remember the commercial but notlike .... her yk ?? because that was her first and last role for a while lol !!
anyways !! she’s always been self-conscious of her looks - she felt like she wasn’t pretty enough, and limited her confidence. so at 16 she got 2 part-time jobs to begin saving up money, and at 17 she went to seoul to get a nose job & jaw reduction surgery.
and things seemed to be great after that !! she was confident, gaining more friends, but the real excitement came when her mom read online about an audition for legacy and jokingly asked if she wanted to do it. 
legacy had never even be on her radar !! she had always heard her friends talk about them for idols, but she had never thought of them as a company that accepted actresses. upon reading though, she was hooked !! she begged her parents, and they originally rejected the idea because they thought it was one of her phases. however, after much persuasion, they allowed her to attend auditions !!
she never expected to get in, she wanted to do it more as an experience than anything. but to say it was a shock was an understatement !! but she was so so incredibly happy.
had a hard time adjusting initially - she was only 17, and almost right after getting there she had to spend her birthday alone since she hadn’t made any friends yet. and although she’s naturally outgoing, it was really hard for her to be social at first because she was surrounded by so many more people than she was used to !!
for the past few years nari’s been doing general idol training, though that’s about to change !! she’s significantly improved her dance skills ( which were nearly nonexistent prior to training ) & gotten a lot better at her singing !! but her heart’s still deep into acting, and she knows that she wants to do that as well as some modeling !
she still suffers a lot with her self confidence, and there’s a lot of pressure for her to do well ! in school, because she’s the first of her family to go to university, and as a trainee, because she’s risked so much for it & doesn’t want to disappoint since her family has v high expectations for her !
𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 :
a little lovebug !! she’s literally so loving and accepting of everyone - definitely, someone you can come to talk out any issues, she listens & provides support, free of any judgement !! also v keen on skinship i apologize in advance
she’s come out of her shell a lot since she got to seoul, but she’s still a little shy if she doesn’t know you well or is put in a situation w a lot of people !! pls be patient with her ^^
like max, she’s got a lot of energy in that little body !! but she actually has adhd so a lot of it isn’t really by choice. it frustrates her a lot because it limits her focus & has the tendency to make her restless. it was worse when she was younger, but has gotten better as she’s gotten older and she takes medicine to keep everything in check.
she’s also got v low self-confidence, she’s never been satisfied with herself and constantly wants to get better !! despite the surgeries, she’s still got a lot of insecurities both physically and not, but keeps them bottled up a lot bc she doesn’t want to burden others !! ( i want to shake her !! ) bc of that, she takes both criticism & compliments very seriously, she’ll turn all red if someone gives her the smallest compliment but will also overanalyze & judge herself if she gets critiqued. 
in fact her surgery’s almost made her more self-conscious, as she now feels that all the opportunities granted to her are because of her looks post-surgery. the worst insult she could get was she’s only succeeding because of her looks, because she’s worked so hard on her skills and she wants them to be what takes her forward, not something she had to pay to get.
despite that, she’s the true definition of a happy virus !! on the outside, she’s almost always smiling, and when all the other stuff doesn’t get in the way, she is on the inside too !! always trying to look on the optimistic side & give people a fresh perspective !
on that note she’s v childish, and sometimes she has to remind herself w younger trainees coming in she’s being seen as more of an example and needs to be ~serious~!!
the duality is real !! in performances, sad / angry scenes are actually her specialty, and right after she’ll just spring up and smile like what’s up guys !!! a lil creepy when she goes from sobbing to giggling so she’s learned to transition a little better lmao !!
she always wanted to be a youtuber, but never got the chance, and by the time she joined legacy she wasn’t allowed to have an account. so now she has these little vlogs she does to send her parents ! they’re mainly of her getting ready, hanging out with friends, and practicing ( all out of training hours, ofc ) so she can often be found seemingly talking to herself, even though she’s really recording videos !! 
though being an idol wasn’t her initial dream, she adores the music. her love for the kpop genre has made the last few years more bearable, and girl crush concepts are her absolute favorite !! she’s been religiously keeping up w future dreams like she’s still just a fan back at home, and you’ll catch her humming all around the company building !!
in fact, prior to joining legacy, she had a fan blog for all her faves where she would provide commentary called ri raves !! it was ... a sight !! 
she’s pansexual, and leaning towards girls !! it’s something she’s really shy about sharing bc of the fear of judgment, but if she tells you know you have all her trust !!
a little spoiled tbh !! she’s got the youngest child syndrome BAD, and since she was the only girl she’s used to things being done for her !! not in the bratty way, it’s just made her a little lazy and she loooooves attention and being doted on.
don’t let her appearance fool you though !! she’s got surprising strength ... strong woman do bong soon’s not her favorite show for no reason !!! all those years of defending herself from her brothers’ teasing had to come in handy, you know ?? we’ve got a black belt in hapkido here folks !!
definition of a theatre kid, starts bursting out into songs she loves out of nowhere omg it’s embarrassing ?? also overreacts about everything omg the world is on fire according to her !! she’s gotta faint dramatically !!!
she’s got the jeolla-do dialect, and prior to working on her standard dialect it was veeery prominent ! it makes her say a lot of words differently than someone from seoul might, and after realizing she was one of the only ones with it she’s been trying to make her speech sound more like standard korean nowadays.
she’s taken up sewing from her mom, and especially loves embroidery !! so she always loves upcycling & spicing her outfits up !!
definitely has a unique fashion sense because of it - in addition to that she’s very frugal, and favors thrifted clothing !! she’s got a mix of vintage, chic, and artsy style !
 a rule follower !! veeery unlike max, she tends to stick to the rules out of fear of what will happen if she doesn’t, because she has way too much on the line to quit now !
𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 :
acting buddies ?? i know there aren’t too many, but even if that’s not your muse’s preferred career path, any muses who have a passion for theatre are welcomed as well !!
someone who unlike her, is v wild and lives on the crazier side !! she’s constantly going into a responsible panic when they’re around and they’re always trying to get her to loosen up !!
someone who co-stars in her little vlogs to her family !! hey, if you can’t be youtubers for real you might as well pretend, right ??
someone who made her adjustment to seoul easier as she transitioned from country to city life !! they’ve lived in seoul for a long time / their whole life and know all the best spots to show her !!
someone who’s clothing she likes to spice up, she’s always embroidering or adding pattern to their clothes to give their outfit a little flair !
someone who knows her past her happy side, who she’s got on speed dial whenever she’s feeling down and needs someone to talk to, and vice versa !!
someone who she came out too, be it on purpose or by accident, and it’s caused her to grow really attached to them bc it’s one of the most personal things about her !
a girl she’s got a crush on but is terrified to tell !!! like yes you’re pretty .... but these things are never easy !!! she’s gonna tell you .... eventually !!
and ofc - exes, flirtationships, summer loves, anything of the sort !
someone she lowkey fangirls over ?? she still hasn’t accepted the fact that she & the other trainees are kinda on the same level, someone she’s kind of became a fan of and can’t really function around them ??
by some crazy chance, this person has come across her old kpop fan blog at one time or another and won’t !!! let !!! her !!! live !!! it !!! down !!! will you accept her bribe and swear to never bring it up again ??? please ???
someone she doesn’t like ??? this is v rare but ... for one reason or another, she can’t stand them and transforms to a completely diff person around them !!
someone who made the mistake of teasing her a little too much or insulted her so much that she just straight-up tries to take them down !!! v unexpectedly !! bonus if it’s someone way out of her fighting capabilities !!
more ideas coming when i create an official plots page !!
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theodcra-blog · 5 years ago
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✱  kim  doyeon.  she  /  her.  cis  female.  —  i  know  that  theodora  “  theo  ”  jung  is  one  of  the  roses.  which  makes  sense  because  the  twenty  year  old’s  parents  are  hollywood  royalty  known  for  producing  and  recording  multi-platinum  awarded  albums.  rumors  say  that  they  are  the  quixotic  of   the   group  ,  but  who  knows  if  that’s true.  +  plucking  petals  off  of  daisies  in  the  name  of  a  crush  ,  steeping  teabags  for  too  long  ,  the  scent  of  perfume  left  behind  on  a  pillowcase.
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                   hello  !  im  xan  and  im  late  as  usual  but  alas  ...  😔  im  22  ,  from  the  est  timezone  (  even  though  my  sleeping  schedule  …  does  not  reflect  that  sjbdwjkbdjdw  )  &  i  go  by  she  /  her  pronouns  !  i  truly  ...  never  know  what  im  doing  with  intros  they  just  turn  out  long  &  messy  aha  ... are  u  ready  ?  *jungkook vc*  let’s  get  it  !  😋
━  ˙ ˖  ☆     QUICK STATS  !
full name: theodora marie jung.
nickname(s): theo, teddy, dora (  but only by bullies 😠 ).
zodiac: libra sun, aqua moon ( click ! ) 
sexuality: bisexual.
occupation: singer / songwriter, model. 
birthplace: los angeles, california.
current residence: wherever this rp is taking place aha x
━  ˙ ˖  ☆     BACKSTORY ! ( tw: sexual themes )
so her parent’s story was actually a pretty big scandal in the 90′s ! basically theo’s mom was the pretty famous front woman of a band ( think stevie nicks in fleetwood mac ) who was long engaged to the guitarist of that same band....until one day it was announced she was quitting the group and starting her solo career, leaving her fiance, and signing to a new label.....which was run by theo’s father, a young up & coming producer taking over the family business. not even three months later theo’s mom releases her first solo album, produced and co-written by theo’s father, basically detailing this years long affair the two had been having... in a series of really catchy, moving, and wildly successful songs. 
the public went crazy over the drama, especially when rumors started circulating ( through detailed analysis of the lyrics to all of theo’s mom’s solo songs ) that the well known band had actually been quite toxic. basically it was enough to convince media outlets and fans alike to forgive theo’s parents for being cheaters and breaking up the band JSDBWBDJWBD. by the time theo was born in the last year of the iconic decade that launched both her parents into stardom, everyone couldn’t be happier the two stars were getting the happy life they deserved <3
so here comes baby theo.....and the world kind of just immediately labels her as america’s sweetheart. her mom had some minor health issues which just meant it would be safer to not have anymore kids after theo, so not only was she this little angel to the public, she was also her parent’s little miracle baby ! lets just say she had some big shoes to fill bc of all the expectations ..
luckily no one had to worry abt her being a demon child JSBDJWDWJ because she turned out to be a very sweet kid ! she was a HUGE daydreamer since she spent a lot of time alone growing up </3 her mom had retired from singing and was now helping theo’s dad run the label, and the two of them were always busy looking for new talent to sign. she didn’t have any siblings and although she had a really attentive nanny it just .. wasn’t the same ?? so to #Cope JSBDWBSBDJW theo was always creating these super elaborate little fantasy worlds. it wasn’t uncommon for u to find her deeply engrossed playing barbies alone like she had scripts and everything 
by the time she was a preteen her parents were both really pressuring theo into thinking about a singing career, so wanting to please them ( and knowing that it was something she was kinda into anyway ) theo said ok sure ! and that’s where.....things start to take a turn. since she was so young she had this very very clean, innocent, cute image ( think disney stars ) & most of the music she was making was used for kids shows or movies. she didn’t really mind it so much but she noticed that her creative process wasn’t really valued ? or taken very seriously by her parents, because in their eyes like that’s their kid you know she’s still young, she’s always had her head in the clouds, they just really didn’t think it was a big deal if they took control. 
so theo put up with it, but the years kept going by, she kept getting older, and nothing was really changing. she still had a squeaky clean image, little say in the type of music she was making, but on the outside everything looked great. the public loved her, she was a role model for kids ( even though she was a teenager now ), it was all perfect.....until it wasn’t. when she was 16, she had a scandal akin to the vanessa hudgen’s nude photo leak, except it wasn’t as explicit ( not a nude, just a suggestive pic ) and it was way way worse considering theo was a minor. 
legal action was immediately taken by her parents, but once something’s out there you can’t really stop it from circulating, so the photos existed, just not on any official media sites. it was traumatizing for theo having her privacy breached like that, especially because instead of talking about how disgusting it was that someone would leak those photos when she was just a teen, gossip sites & fans alike were too busy talking about how her image was ruined. since she’d had such a clean, innocent reputation, people kinda forgot that... she was an actual person going through life growing up, and that she wasn’t perfect. 
theo, being the optimist she is, was like hey you know what? this is my chance to stop making music i dont love. after what was probably her first truly honest convo with her parents, they agreed she should be free to figure herself and her art out. so for the remainder of her teenage years theo fell off the face of the music world....
only to pop back up in the modeling one ! like most celebrities, social media had a big say in this. since reputation wasn’t something theo had going for her anymore, what she did have was a hell of a following still and two famous parents ( not to mention ... shes tall JSBDJWBDWJ ) she did maybe one runway show before deciding she hated that. tbh she hated any modeling that felt too constricting, which is why she never ended up doing anything for big names & mostly does stuff for foreign brands & magazines. 
she liked how much aesthetics had to do with modeling, and to some extent being a part of shoots satisfied that creative itch she had, but music was always her first love. theo really wanted to go back and revisit it, but she was scared the public’s reaction wouldn��t be what she hoped /: 
so following in her mother’s footsteps, theo’s re entrance into the music scene was an ep ( 100% written, produced, edited, you name it, by her ) she released on the eve of her 18th bday basically explaining everything she went through with art. it was only four songs + an interlude, which would become the most talked about part of the whole thing because it was snippets of various reporters talking about that photo leak.
the public had mixed feelings ! unlike with what happened with her parents, not everyone was ready to “forgive” theo. and since she hadn’t done any promo for her music, or for her career as an artist independent from her parent’s famous label, it wasn’t like she was making crazy money and getting all this recognition. but !! she was insanely insanely happy, and that’s when she realized making music wasn’t something she did for other people, just something she liked to share, so what did it really matter if she could be more famous if she was an artist under her parent’s label ? 
cue present day theo, model & singer, although the labels are pretty loose. although her music is getting way more recognition than it did three years ago, she’s still trying to do things independently from her parents, and she still has yet to become a chanel ambassador or anything crazy SDWBKWKFW. because of that she’s kind of garnered this new reputation for herself as one of those celebs that don’t really feel like celebs, like maybe she’s just like u except let’s be real she’s rich and her experiences are NOT universal even if her cute insta pic talking about ~her feelings~ in the caption makes u think they are
━  ˙ ˖  ☆     PERSONALITY + TIDBITS !
not even gonna lie to u guys....she is baby. i dont mean that in a uwu shes 20 but im gonna weirdly make her act like a child way im not a freak shes just baby ! like i mentioned earlier theo was a HUGE daydreamer growing up, and tbh she still is except now that’s she’s older her overactive imagination can kinda get her into trouble. a good example of that is the fact that since she’s so keen to see the silver linings in life and the bright sides, she can neglect the bad sides of people and situations so things still fit into her romanticized vision /: this was the cause for many heartbreaks in theo’s life, and she’s still guilty of doing this although she’s trying to work on it !
very much the kind of person to treat everyone like a friend ( that means strangers too ) until you prove you should be treated otherwise. it takes a lot for her to not fuck with you, so if she doesn’t like you then you probably did something to deserve it /: she’s always had a curious personality as well so it’s really easy for her to connect with people just because she’s constantly fascinated by what she doesn’t know about a person. sometimes it can make ppl uncomfortable just how casually she can have a deep convo, but she just never had that filter where she has to know you for 5 years before she opens up about her trauma </3 you know how when bp’s rose and red velvet’s joy had dinner for the first time rose made joy cry bc she was talking abt her family and stuff ? JSDBWBDW theo is rose ... she’s out there sharing trauma deepening that bond day 1 of knowing you baby !  🤧
despite all that she’s still kind of maintained this elusive air to her? it’s not like she does it on purpose, or like no one knows the real her, it’s more like just when you’ve learned one new thing about her you realize there’s that many more things you don’t know. it also doesn’t help the fact that she’s constantly romanticizing everything, most of all herself, so she’s really crafted this “dream girl” persona without fully realizing it. im not exaggerating when i say john green wants what she has </3 
a lot of times people see her as naive, not because she often sees the good in people or anything like that ( although she does ), but because she has this overwhelming sureness that everything works out in the end. to be fair though, for her, things usually do. call it good karma, luck, whatever you want, but the fact of the matter is even when it looks like there’s no way a situation can turn out well for her, somehow it does. it’s a healthy combination of money, privilege, and a charming personality but to theo it’s proof that she’s right.
naturally.....as an air sign JSBDJWBJWBD she’s a huge flirt ! the media’s always linking her to someone because she really makes it seem like she’s dating half of hollywood when the reality is she’s just being friendly. when she actually likes someone it kind of turns into a huge deal like she gets infatuated with her crushes, swears she’s in love — and then poof. one day she wakes up & realizes she’s kinda over it ... until the next person comes along of course <3
hates conflict and confrontation.....and i mean HATES it to the point where she doesn’t even confront stuff within herself ( i.e. “negative” feelings like sadness ) until one day it all bubbles over and she’s having a legit breakdown and dying her hair red. 
yes, that’s exactly what happened last year, although if you ask theo about it she’ll just be like aha what do you mean i just wanted red hair luv x 
pictures like these ( click ! ) of theo when she'd be walking around LA in her school uniform used to go viral on twitter. 
desperately wishes she was the type of singer ppl would throw their bras at on stage when the reality is she’s out there making some chill bedroom pop kind of stuff so rip that dream </33333 
knows how to play the piano and the guitar, but keeps joking one day she’s gonna make an album and only use her recorder as the instrumentals.
has a white british longhair kitty named zoe.
is 100% that bitch that can only drink sweet drinks & fruity cocktails and u know what she’s valid for it ! 
if she wasn’t famous she’d be making slime. legit running a slime making insta, those were her guilty pleasure & shes so mad they aren’t that popular anymore JSBDJWBDJW
u know that post that’s like “i hate making tea i always feel so bad about throwing away the tea bag i feel like i should just eat it” ? thats theo 
━  ˙ ˖  ☆     WANTED CONNECTIONS !
BEST FRIENDS: a power duo the public either loves or hates, ride or dies, that 1 person theo would drop everything for no matter what.....yeah 🥺 they’d be the person she’s closest to & vice versa !   
CHILDHOOD / FAMILY FRIENDS: their famous parents were friends, so it’s only natural they wanted their kids to be friends too. just imagine the stories ..... the memories .... maybe they got along really well and are still friends today ! or maybe theo pushed your muse off of the swings ( she claims it was an accident ) and your muse never forgot and to this day they’re sworn enemies.....</3 or less dramatic......they just drifted apart and now it’s like hey we used to be so close aha thats awkward let me just smile at you and walk away ....
LIKE SIBLINGS: someone who sees theo as a sister, and who theo considers her unofficial sibling. most likely she’s gonna bother the shit out of this person as siblings do but they really mean a lot to her because it’s the family she never had /: 
CONFIDANTS: the one person theo keeps finding herself talking about the things she usally keeps inside with. i think it’d be funny if both of them find it weird to do things like go out to lunch or shop together because that’s not what they’re used to !
ACQUAINTANCES: friends who are only really friends when both of them are wasted or friends who only comment heart eye emojis and fire sign emojis under each others insta posts but don’t actually talk much for whatever reason
FRIENDS THAT DATED: maybe things just ended amiably between them, or maybe it’s like an “everyone told us we should date so we tried it and boy was that the weirdest thing we ever did” situation. either way the outcome is they’e still friends <3
CAHOOTS: what is this u may ask ? someone theo can be in cahoots with. she has a dumb idea that no one else is likely to say yes to? she goes to ur muse. ur muse has an idea no one in their right mind would say yes to? they go to theo. these two are in cahoots !  
BAD INFLUENCE: although that america’s sweetheart reputation is gone, overall theo is still seen as a “good girl” by the public. she’s not one to be in a lot of scandals so i think it’d be really fun if your muse is corrupting that ( whether they’re doing it on purpose or not ) and whenever theo’s with them she just somehow always manages to end up in trouble. 
THE BIG EX: theo’s first real relationship, and first real heartbreak. everyone before them had been an infatuation, but your muse was the real deal. maybe the media ruined it, or they ruined it themselves by being too scared of their feelings to stick around, or maybe one of them was willing to try but the other wasn’t. either way it ended badly, and whether those feelings are resolved or not....thats a secret i’ll never tell x
SUMMER FLINGS: give me past & current ( or maybe even recurring ) summer flings where they both know it’s temporary but boy is it fun while it lasts. google their names together and you’ll find paparazzi snapshots on the backs of vespas, on million dollar yachts, holding hands in museums or sunbathing on the beach but by the time fall comes creeping in the romance is over. 
HOOKUPS: friends with benefits and it’s not awkward between them, friends with benefits and it’s super weird between them because they may be crossing over into real feeling territory, one night stands / hookups that were huge mistakes, one night stands or hookups that were or are being kept secret from the rest of the roses for whatever reason, someone who leads theo on but never gets serious about her, or someone she leads on but she never gets serious about, her go-to hookup on a night out when she’s partying, etc. 
WILL THEY WON’T THEY: a friendship that always teeters on the line of something romantic ! maybe they’re both oblivious to the chemistry / tension or maybe they’re aware of it because they get jealous when they hear about the other being with someone else… maybe they refuse to do anything about it because they don’t want to complicate things or maybe they purposefully cross lines when they feel that jealousy…..could be more angsty or it could be more wholesome depending on which way it goes 😈
ARTIST TO ARTIST: i don’t think .... we have any other singers / ppl in the music industry but i could for sure be wrong JSBDSJBDJWD but ! i still would love to have people theo’s worked with before. maybe if your muses has been acting since they were little, theo could have mingled with them back when she was doing music for kids shows & movies. maybe your muse is a model and theo and them have done shoots together before. maybe theo’s written a current song for a movie / tv show your muse was a part of. maybe your muse is a model and theo asked them to feature on the cover of one of her albums. maybe she hired your muse to act in the music video of one of her songs ! maybe your muse can also sing even though that’s not their main thing and theo’s asked them to feature on a song with her. there are soooo many possibilities that could be lots of fun <33
MISC: “we used to party together all the time until that one thing happen that neither of us talk about and now we don’t do that anymore”, someone who took care of drunk theo once and ever since then she’s taken that as an open invitation to knock on your muse’s door at 3 am completely wasted, “we tried to date but the paparazzi caught us on a date and we were too scared / sick of the public eye so we never got far”, flirty friends who say no i’d never sleep with you haha…unless you’re down?, your muse was theo’s first time OR theo was your muse’s first time, stereotypical happy go lucky and grumpy relationship where the grumpy muse pretends not to enjoy the other’s presence, enemies but it can’t be anything petty it would have to be pretty serious so if u want that drama.... 
that’s the end i promise it’s finally over 😭😭😭 i truly just ramble & ramble im really so sorry abt that JSDJWBDJWBDJWBDJW i tried to include as much info as possible to make plotting a little easier for all of us so lets pray this works </3 u can come message me on discord to plot @ seulgi ily ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ#8172 so give this a like if u wanna .... do that ahahahaha x 
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soflsms · 6 years ago
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   ( sorry  I'm  late  to  the  party  im  in  pst  so  i  was  at  work  til  now  sdkfjl )  ANYWHO  hi  pals  what  the  h*ck  is  up  !!  im  chloe  ,  im  21  ,  i  use  she / her  pronouns  &  im  a  broke  a$$  geography  major  !!   i  am  SO  excited  to  be  her  &  get  to  rp  with  all  y’all  bc  judging  by  your  apps  skdflj  i  fuck  with  u  all  .  anywho  ill  stop  my  rambling  ,  below  the  readmore  is  stuff  about  sofie  &  some  wcs !!  
trigger  warning  !!  sex  work  ,  deportation  ,  neglect  ,  bad  writing  ,  alcoholism  &  substance  abuse
HAILEY BALDWIN  /  SHE/HER  /  TWENTY TWO  /  BILLIE EILISH VC
welcome to los angeles , sofie almeda ! the glitterati has been watching you . rumour has it you made your first mark in the industry two years ago & that your net worth currently stands at  8m . it seems as though you’re enjoying being a  singer since relocating from  harlem , new york city . some might say you’d be a good fit for the glitterati due to your hollywood ranking being a solid  #3, & it helps that fans speak so highly of your  individualistic & assiduous ways . unfortunately , our sources cite that those closest to you aren’t particularly impressed with your  self-destructive & choleric tendencies .
stats
name  :   sofie sydney almeda
nicknames  :   sof
age  :  twenty - two  .
birthday  :  december  eleventh  .
zodiac  :  sagittarius  .
gender  :  cisfemale  (  though  doesn’t  vibe  with  the  idea  of  being  STRICTLY  a  WoMaN  ,  she  finds  labels  restrictive  )  .
pronouns  :  she    &    her  .
height  :  5 ′ 6 ″  .
hometown  :    recife  ,  brazil  &  harlem  ,  new  york  city  .
nationality  :  american  ,  brazilian  .
ethnicity  :  english  ,  portuguese   .
label(s)  :  the  venereal  ,  the  bellwether  ,  the  opulent  ,   the  anaxiphile   .
occupation  :  singer  (  vc  billie  eilish  )  .  
quirks  :  fidgeting  ,  allergic  to  shellfish  ,  walks  quickly  ,  cracks  knuckles  ,  always  wears  her  lucky  ‘  st  christopher  ’  necklace  from  her  grandmother  ,  has  a  weird  ability  to  talk  herself  out  of  trouble  ,  can  tie  a  cherry  stem  in  her  mouth  ,  messy  emotionally  but  on - point  physically  ,  vvv  bad  driver  ,  loves  a  good  theme  party  ,  can’t  get  through  the  day  without  multiple  cups  of  coffee  ,  refuses  to  wear  glasses  in  public  even  though  she’s  quite  far - sighted  ,  always  carries  hand  sanitizer ,  prefers  rain  over  sunshine  .
background
         her  mother  ,  marcia  almeda  ,  was  a  recent  graduate  from  secondary  school  who  packed  a  backpack  and  went  traveling !! before  long  tho  she  ended  up  knocked  up  by  another  backpacker  ,  this  one  american  ,  while  they  were  having  a  fling  in  sydney  (  hence  sofie’s  middle  name  lmao  @  her  mom’s  humor  )  .  she  flew  back  home  when  she  found  out  &  never  told  sofie’s  father  oops !! so  marcia  had  sofie  at  home  in  recife  just  before  her  nineteenth  birthday  ,  and  marcia  was  enthralled  w  little  sofie  .  ofc  she  inherited  her  mother’s  beauty  (  i  hc  marcia  looks  like  alessandra  ambrosio  bc  hello !  )  &  little  sofie  lived  a  happy  early  childhood  life  in  her  grandparents’  home  in  recife.
         brazil  isn’t  the  safest  of  countries  &  marcia  didn’t  want  the  same  dangers  she  experienced  growing  up  for  her  young  daughter  ,  so  around  sofie’s  eighth  birthday  ,  her  &  her  mother  packed  up  and  went  on  a  ‘ trip  ’  to  new  york  city  .  joke’s  on  sofie  ,  though  -  it  wasn’t  actually  a  trip  ,  but  rly  they  were  trying  to  move  there  to  find  sofie’s  father  to  confirm  his  paternity  and  get  sofie  american  citizenship  .  it  was  proving  more  difficult  than  she  thought  ,  &  marcia  was  quickly  running  out  of  money  .  with  a  face  like  hers  ,  though  ,  making  money  wasn’t  too  difficult  ,  but  it  was  time  consuming  .  marcia  found  herself  escorting  older  men  in  order  to  pay  the  bills  ,  all  the  while  leaving  little  sofie  to  fend  for  herself  .  some  of  her  earliest  memories  are  of  strange  men  in  their  tiny  apartment  &  sofie  trying  to  block  out  their  conversations  with  her  lil  cassette  player  hiding  in  the  corner  of  her  room  .  eventually  ,  marcia  was  able  to  contact  the  father  &  they  set  up  a  meeting  .  sofie  had  gotten  her  hopes  up  that  she  would  finally  have  a  dad  (  she  got  dressed  up  in  her  sunday  best  &  everything  bc  reuniting  her  dad  was  a  BIG  deal  ) ,  but  the  meeting  ended  up  being  a  quick  exchange  of  words  ,  a  mouth  swab  and  a  couple  signatures  .  sofie  never  even  learned  his  name  ,  & this  queued  up  a  lifetime  of  daddy  issues  &  distrust  of  men  !!
        while  marcia  was  able  to  stay  in  america  much  longer  than  she  was  legally  supposed  to  ,  eventually  she  was  facing  deportation  ,  which  meant  lil  sofie  ,  with  her  citizenship  finally  confirmed  ,  was  put  into  the  hands  of  her  father  who  sent  off  to  an  american  boarding  school  in  new  york  without  even  contacting  her  .  she  would  spend  the  summers  in  brazil  with  her  mother  or  ,  as  she  got  older  ,  couch - surfing  with  different  friends  throughout  the  months  .  she  started  growing  apart  from  her  mother  as  she  aged  since  she  wasn’t  going  home  every  summer  since  she  didn’t  rly  feel  any  connection  to  brazil  .  her  grandfather  had  passed  away  &  she  only  has  faint  memories  grandmother  ,  plus  the  city  wasn’t  at  all  familiar  to  her  &  she  wasn’t  practicing  her  portuguese  after  her  mother  returned  to  brazil  .
         through  it  all  ,  music  was  proving  to  be  the  one  constant  in  her  life  she  could  use  to  escape  from  reality  .  she  had  never  done  any  training  or  classes  ,  but  she  just  liked  singing  along  to  whatever  was  on  the  radio  & practicing  on  her  own  .  she  also  found  a  passion  for  writing  poetry  which  she  later  would  realize  was  compatible  with  music  .  she  would  spend  HOURS  in  the  school  library  working  on  garage  band  lmfao  bc  she  couldn’t  afford  her  own  laptop  to  produce  music  &  her  dad  sent  just  enough  money  as  he  was  legally  supposed  to  .  but  she  worked  her  lil  tushy  off  &  applied  to  a  music  academy  in  nyc  &  was  rejected  the  first  year  (  DEVASTATING  when  mixed  with  her  impostor  syndrome  &  daddy  issues ) but  she  practiced  more  &  more  &  edned  up  getting  accepted  the  next  year  .  here  ,  she  worked  on  her  vocal  skills  &  music  production  ,  &  started  accumulating  her  own  music  &  selling  songs  to  music  producers  on  the  side  for  some  ca$h  money  .  
          by  the  time  she  was  16  the  state  decided  she  was  old  /  mature  enough  to  live  on  her  own  so  she  got  a  TINY  lil  studio  apartment  in  harlem  where  she’d  grown  up  with  her  mum  &  she  had  friends  who  she’d  grown  up  with  .  while  it  wasn’t  the  safest  neighbourhood  statistically  sofie  felt  safe  &  just  like  one  of  the  neighbourhood  kids  .  it  was  the  first  time  she  genuinely  felt  like  she  belonged .
        she  was  accepted  on  full  scholarship  to  nyu  & majored  in  music  composition  &  vocal  performance  where  she  started  finally  feeling  secure  in  herself  &  released  her  own  music  on  soundcloud  ,  quickly  amassing  a  following  &  becoming  an  ‘ up  &  coming ‘  artist  !!  she  was  contacted  by  a  scooter  braun  type  guy  who  was  interested  in  taking  her  on  under  his  management  so  she  dropped  out  of  uni  in  her  2nd  year  (  bc  tbh  her  grades  in  anything  other  than  her  music  classes  were  v  subpar  )  .  soon  enough  producers  wanted  to  work  with  her  &  she  was  making  enough  that  she  didn’t  have  to  sell  her  songs  which  she  hated  doing  but  had  to  pay  the  bills  u  know  .  oh  &  her  vc  is  billie  eilish  bc  ofc  shes  my  queen  go  stream  when  we  all  fall  asleep  where  do  we  go  on  spotify  u  won’t  be  disappointed  
        she  also  started  getting  into  the  partying  scene  here  yikes  !! it  was  a  method  for  her  to  numb  all  her  pain  from  her  past  &  impostor  syndrome  &  drown  all  that  out  in  pills  or  tequila  .  it  rly  wasn’t  healthy  bc  of  how  she  would  binge  for  a  weekend  then  try  to  stay  sober  throughout  the  week  but  failing  by  about  wednesday when  she  started  to  feel  hollow  .  she  wasn’t  gonna  be  a  one  hit  wonder  &  her  mom  sure   as  hell  didn’t  go  through  all  that  trouble  just  for  sofie  to  be  a  nobody  addict  !! so  she  kept  it  together  enough  to  start  making big  bucks  & well  …….  here  she  is  :~)
personality
        sofie  blames  it  on  her  brazilian  heritage  but  this  bitch  loves  a  party  !!  like  shes  the  one  who  gets  happy drunk  at  the  pre  then  is  the  first  on  the  dance  floor  then  later  falls  out  of  the  club  &  into  some  rando’s  bed !!  in  the  back  of  her  mind  she  knows  her  drug  &  alcohol  use  is  self - destructive  but  she  figures  shes  allowed  to  let  loose  sometimes (  even  if  that  ends  up  being  most  nights  )  ;  rly  she’s  just  in  denial  bc  she  doesn’t  want  to  change  her  ways  &  lose  her  identity  !!
        doesn’t  put  labels  on  her  gender  identity  or  sexual orientation  .  she  finds  them  restrictive  &  useless  for  herself  ,  labels  would  only  be  to  satisfy  others  .  she  doesn’t  see  herself  as  110%  female  either  like  she’s  all about  gender  being  a  social  construct  /  a  spectrum  ;  some  days  she’ll  get  dolled  up  &  wear  heavy  makeup  &  six  inch  heels  ,  some  days  she’ll  walk  around  in  a  bun  &  tracksuit  &  trainers  .  anyone  who  asks  abt  it  will  swiftly  get  2  middle  fingers  in  their  face  !! shes  uncontrollable  i  swear
         puts  up  a  tough  bad - ass  front  like  billie  does aksjdh  like  nah  nothing  can  hurt  me  im  bulletproof  !!  but  is  rly  just  kinda  broken  underneath  .  she  doesn’t  even  let  her  closest  friends  know  how  hurting  she  is  bc  she  doesn’t  wanna  burden  them  .  she  rly  uses  mmusic  as  an  outlet  tho  so  she’ll  act  totally  tough  then   go  to  the  studio  &  record  all  about  her  heartache  .  will  NEVER  let  someone  see  her  cry  no  matter  how  close  she  is  with  them  .  she  rly  sees  it  as  a  sign  of  weakness  &  shes  in  a  much  better  place  than  she  was  5  years  ago  so  she  figures  she’s  not  ALLOWED  to  feel  anything  but  grateful  .  
         this  bitch  overthinks  everything  !! half  the  time  she  isn’t  rly  listenning  to  whoever  bc  she’s  thinking  about  what  they  just  said  &  if  they’re  mad  with  her  .  she’s  that  friend  who  will  ask  u  to  come  over  to  formulate  the  perfect  text  response  &   fuss  over  it  for  hours  .  that  being  said  ,  if  someone  talks  shit  abt  anyone  shes  tight  with  ,  they’re  gonna  get  it  the  next  time   she  sees  them  .  she  isn’t  about  violence  &  would  never  get  into  a  physical  fight  ,  but  she’d  work  behind  the  scenes  to  ruin  their  life  .  but  then  she  pretends  like  she  rly  doesn’t  care  though  its  obvious  to  those  close  to  her  that  she  cares  way  too  much
has  a  very  hard  time  expressing  love  bc  she  didn’t  have  much  practice  w  it  growing  up  .  she  was  on  her  own  most  of  her  young  life  so  even  if  her  mom  would  tell  her   te  amo  she  would  be  like  uh  huh  gtg  bye !!  
tldr ;  poor  bitch  w  abandonment  issues  who  was  able  to  get  out  of  it  by  channeling  her  energy  into  music  &  numbing  the  stress  with  pills  or  alcohol  which  she  def  still overuses  but  she  doesn’t  think its  a  problem  !! yikeroony  !!  loves  partying  & having  a  good  time  ,  puts  up  a  tough  front  but  is  rly  soft  underneath  .
wanted (* = mw)
friends  from  high  school  !! -  people  sof  stayed  with  in  the  summer  bc  she  wasn’t  going  home  to  brazil  .  
friends  from  music  school  !!  -  she  def  felt  like  an  outsider  among  the  music  prodigies  at  this  school  ,  &  maybe  this  person  was  one  of  the  ppl  she  actually  connected  with  . 
come  out  &  play  !!  this  person  acts  as  a  good  influence  to  sofie  .  they’re  level - headed  &  very  grounding  ,  &  sofie  doesn’t  let  it  show  but  they’re  really  important  to  her  .  this  is  the  Softest  billie  song  (  prob  bc  it  was  for  an  ad skdj )  &  they  inspired  it  bc  it’s  how  she  feels  when  shes with  them  .  they  encourage  her  to  be  all  that  she  can  be  &  they  believe  in  her  ,  &  they’re  prob  the  one  person  sofie  trusts  the  most  which  is  SAYING  something  !!
*exes  on  bad  terms  !!  -   ok  this  would  basically  be  based  on  all  the  songs  billie  has  about  a  failed  relationship  /  heartbreak  !! shes  got  a  bunch  .  im  thnking  maybe  she  was  actually  rly  into  them  but  had  a  hard  time  expressing  it  bc  she’s never  been  good  with  emotional  expression  ,  &  it  led  to  the  relationship  feeling ?? unfaithful  /  disconnected  ??  idk  but  she  rly  loved  them  &  is  still  nursing  that  heartbreak  .  (  x  ,  x  ,  x  )
the  paris  to  her  nicole  !!  -  ok  i  f*cking  hate  that  i  said  this  but  she’s  nicole  richie  its  true  !! she  needs  a  messy  gal  pal  exactly  like  how  paris  &  nicole  are  i  stan  them  (  x  ,  x  ,  x  )
roommate  !!  -  bc  of  her  abandonment  issues  she  rly  doesn’t  like  living  alone  so  prob  is  the  roomie  who  will  sleep  in  their  bed  from  time  to  time  bc  she  doesn’t  like  being  totally  alone  .  
*when  the  party’s  over  !!  - these  two have  been  hooking  up  for  a  while  no  strings  attached  but  recently  feelings  have  been  caught  !! &  now  they  still  hook  up  quite  often  but  sofie’s  kinda  harboring  feelings &  pretending  all  is  well  but  she  rly  hopes  they’ll  just  stay  the  night  from  time  to  time  ,  &  gets  secretly  heartbroken  when  she  sees  them  flirting  or  leaving  with  someone  else  . they  can  also  have  feelings  if  u  want  that  angst :~)
fwb  !!  -  sofie  is  pretty  transparent  when  it  comes  to  what  she  wants  &  she’s  got  a  bad  habit  of  replacing  dealing  with  problems  with  getting  laid  !! like  u  know  in  movies  when  the  man  opens  his  wallet  and  a  row  of  like  20  pictures  of  different  women  fall  out  ??  that’s  sof’s  aesthetic  .  she’s  got  a  bunch  of  fwb  of  all  genders  so  bring  me  some  pls
***mutual  dislike  /  copycat  !!  self - explanatory  ,  sofie  thinks  this  person  is  copying  her  in  everything  she  does  &  thinks  its  annoying  af  so  she  wrote  a  song  abt  it  &  hopes  they  indirectly  get  the  message  even  if  she  drops  not  so  subtle  hints  .  skfldjh  itd  be  messy  pls !!
party  buddies  !!  -  someone  who  encourages  sofies  wild  ways  .  when  the  two  get  together  its  usually  to  get  drunk  or  high  &  thats  the  way  they  like  it  .  sofie  doesn’t  feel  judged  by  them  as  she  does  by  others  who  don’t  get  obliterated  at  every  social  event  (  what  an  idea  !!  )  so  she  rly  values  them  ,  even  if  she  doesn’t  express  it
 ** 8 !! - someone  who  kinda  reluctantly  got  into  a  relationship  with  sofie  out  of  maybe  a  desire  to  save  her  from  herself  ??  like  u  know  that  good  girl  bad  boy  trope  where  the  girl  tries  to  save  the  boy  from  whatever  he’s  struggling  with  ?  that’s  them  but  the  roles  are  just  reversed  -  good  guy  ,  bad  girl  .  it  was  kinda  just  filled  w  her  being  self - destructive  &  confiding  in  him  but  not  rly  reciprocating  the  care  so  he  became  kinda  distant  bc  of  it  .  tbh  she  prob  knew  he  was  too  good  for  her  but  had  a sliver  of  hope  he  wouldn’t  leave  her  even  tho  eventually  she  became  too  much  for  him  .  (  lyrics : you said, "don't treat me badly", but you said it so sadly, so I did the best I could, not thinkin' you would have left me gladly. i know you're not sorry, why should you be? 'cause who am I to be in love, when your love never is for me?” )
good influence  !! this  person  can  tell  that  her  beahvior  is  unhealthy  &  are  trying  to  gently  nudge  her  abt  it  .  she  can  tell  what  they’re  doing  but  her  addict  brain  is  telling  her  its  invasive  &  threatening  so  shes  not  the  fondest  of  this  person  ,  but  deep  down  she  really  appreciates  them
music buddies !! these  two  are  both  in  the  music  industry  &  rather  than  it  being  competitive  ,  they’ve  developed  a  friendship  from  it  & enjoy  working  together  .  
* someone  sofie  ghostwrites  for  !! for  whatever  reason  ,  this  muse  doesn’t  write  their  own  songs  & instead  pays  sofie  to  write  them  for  them  .  she  doesn’t  love  it  but  its  a  way  to  make  money  &  give  away  songs  she  doesn’t  feel  attached  to  but  are  worth  something  .  maybe  its  tense  bc  they  claim  the  songs  as  their  own  &  sofie  doesn’t  like  it  ,  this  could  be  ~escandolo~  later  !!
*** my boy ( high school bf ) !! - ok  tea  this  song  is  the  one  that  broke  her  into  the  industry  .  she  produced  it  all  herself  &  just  relased  it  to  her  soundcloud  thinking  it  wouldn’t  rly  go  anyway  but  !!  joke’s  on  yung sofie  .  essentially  he  thought  the  relationship  was  going  well  ,  she’d  met  his  family  &  they  rly  liked  her  but  !! sof  was  feeling  kinda  smothered  &  told  herself  he  was  lying &  cheating  on  her  n  shit  so  she  wrote  a  song  about  it  !! &  once  it  was  starting  to  get  attention  he  was  like  ….. uhhh  what  the  fuck  & she  was  like  haha  sorry  !! so  they  broke  up  &  ever  since  its  been  animosity ,  but  she  realizes  she  fucked  up  but  it  launched  her  career  so  she  doesn’t  know  whether  to  keep  up  the  idgaf  i  hurt  you  or  apologize  .  
* ex - friends  !!  ok  pls  i  have  this  hc  where  sofie  got  way  too  high  one  night  &  slept  with  this  person’s  dad  or  sibling  or  smth !!  u  know  that  line  in  ‘ bad guy ’  where  she  goes  ‘ might  seduce  your  dad  type  ? ’  ya  that’s  got  sofie  written  ALL  over  it  !!   &  now  they’re  not  friends  bc  sofie  can’t  keep  it  in  her  pants  but  both  sides  kinda  misses  the  other  but  are  too  stubborn  to  say  anything  :~(
exes from college / high school  !!  - ok honestly i just love all the exes plots . gimme someone who like maybe they were hooking up & decided to give it a shot dating & it worked for a while but ultimately fell apart bc of sof’s inability to open up. maybe theres still tension or maybe theyre friends now !!
* lovely  !!  -  i  need  a  male  voice  for  khalid’s  part  in  lovely  bc  i  need  this  song  in  my  life  bc  its  a  whole  ass   sofie  mood  ok  .  
i’ve  also  got  a  wanted  connections  tag  linked  HERE  dksfj there's  not  much  in  it  yet  but  feel  free  to  check  it  out  .  ok  i  love  y'all  
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umbrellasource · 6 years ago
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whoops i let my inbox pile up a bit so here’s an ask dump, pls feel free to read if u’ve sent me any questions i wasn’t ignoring u i swear shdfgfjdk hope ur all having a good day/night 💗
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gdfhgj yeah i know. i explained in the tags but in short i’m a dumbass and i just checked the upload date on youtube and i was like,, 2009? ok i guess they didn’t make a music video until later. because i’m literally that dumb. and was also very very tired. and dumb. and i never saw the music videos until they were uploaded to youtube in 2009 bc there wasn’t any way for me to access them before then as i was but a lil kiddo.. oh and also i’m dumb
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i know :( hopefully at the end of the show he can somehow get his body turned back to his real age?? either way.. at least he has dolores and that’s tru love babey
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it’s the beginning of episode 3!
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ahhh ur so sweet thank u so much i rly appreciate u taking the time to say that,, i love u too!! 💜
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shdjf i guess grace turns them off when he’s not around?? 
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long... long. i am slowly getting through them and it doesn’t bother me or stress me out or anything bc so far i haven’t had any complaints abt things not being done quick enough, so i feel like i can do it in my own time.. i think it’s pretty much accepted by yall that i’m only one person and i only have so many hours in the day so things might take a little bit to get done, everyones been completely lovely so far.. and thank you so much !! 
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oh ofc i v much doubt they’d suddenly just ditch all the adult cast. the fans would be in uproar for one thing haha , very interested to see what happens in s2 though it cannot come quick enough
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thank you so much !! well i gif using kmplayer and i found a tutorial on how to do that here ,, i read through it and it seems good so i hope that helps :) 💗
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hhhh you’re so right he can let go of her bc he doesn’t truly need her anymore, when luther said to him in his bedroom that five isn’t on his own anymore, i think he rly listened to that and knew he no longer needed her for that purpose ....... sweet 
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u n me both man............ i’ve got some diego requests in my inbox i think so i’ll try and do some of those soon !
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ahhh thank you so much i rly appreciate that cause it was a Bitch to colour shdfjgkf 💜
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i love this question tysm....... my favourites would beeee istanbul with five killing everyone (too fuckin iconic), shingaling with hazel and cha cha blowing up the lab while high, all die young ! that almost made me cry....., and uh idk the name of it but the one that goes S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y in the bowling alley, that was super fun,, happy together because gerard and ray did #that babey! but also it just fit the scene really well haha and of course i think we’re alone now. bc obvious reasons. SO BASICALLY ALL THE SCENES. but my #1 is istanbul. thank u and i hope you’re having a great day too 💜
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haven’t yet!! it’ll probably be addressed later... i hope anyway!! i kinda hope it’s just something really lame like he fell off a scooter 
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yeah i feel the same way. i absolutely love his character too of course but that anon was just a straight up creep and i still feel kind of nauseous thinking about it lmao i just want all the kids on this earth to be protected from weird fucks like that :(
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i did!! that was so cute hhh she’s so talented we love a gifted couple
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guys,, it’s okay to have a crush on someone your own age (give or take a year or so). it’s perfectly fine and normal. it’s just when you’re several years older or an actual adult that it gets creepy and gross. you guys are FINE, don’t worry about it shdjfk
thank u for the questions yallstve hope ur all feelin good 💗 💗 💗
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kctakcla · 6 years ago
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           ( genderfluid ) haven’t seen DAKOTA SAMPSON around in a while. the ALEX TURNER lookalike has been known to be (+) INDEPENDENT & (+) PROTECTIVE, but HE/THEY can also be (-) HOT-TEMPERED & (-) TURBULENT. The 24 year old is a SENIOR majoring in THEATRE. I believe they’re living OFF CAMPUS ( at home ) but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door.
                         yes I AM an Arctic Monkeys fan , what gave you that idea !! ‘sup guys I’m Hylia and we don’t know self-control so I’m already back at it again with hitting my muse limit and applying for Dakota here. A note : Dakota’s an old muse but the only thing I’ve changed about him is his name ( along with modifying stuff to fit the connection I took and Watershed biz ) , so if you ever hear me call him Spencer , sorry for the slip-up - that’s just what his name was beforehand. But ANYWAYS , more under the cut !!
                  v brief mention of homophobia + transphobia and also... frequent mentions of religion.
STARTING OUT
k so I also highly rec you read Jackie’s intro bc Katie made this family and I’m just hopping in on the sibling ride  
so yeah their parents were fuckin,,, picture-perfect religious fam on the outside but that’s not good 4 the fuckin’ kids and from the start Kota was always the problem child. Never sat still in church, always tended to gravitate towards the “dark/satanic” stuff and over time he was so used to being accused of that shit he sort of... embraced it ??
Lemme explain.
so Dakota was often punished for even batting an eye at stuff his parents didn’t like so he grew angry he wasn’t allowed to like certain shit and that just upped him liking it and taking part in that stuff tenfold.
It started innocently when he was young - he’d take his allowance, march on over to the closest store that sold CDs and bought every heavy rock album he could find. Linkin Park, Metallica, Rise Against, Sixx AM,  that shit.
Then it escalated to taking an interest in SFX makeup, especially the gory part. Snuck out on Halloween to trick-or-treat and collect candy in the best costume he could make for himself.
Watched horror movies and played darker video games when he’d sneak out and would often take an interest in the decoration , the acting...
Then he started saving up and buying black clothes, ripped jeans, faux leather jackets, and even getting his ears and lip pierced. Threw temper tantrums when his parents told him to cut his hair. Got a tattoo of his sister’s name on his wrist with forged parental approval.
Started dating kids who had a reputation on being on the wrong side of the tracks !! Also came out as bi & genderfluid and lived in an extremely religious household so . . . ( tw : homophobia & transphobia ) they didn’t react well. But he flaunted it. He rubbed it in their fucking faces every chance he got since that was who he fucking was , and if you don’t like it ?? SHOVE IT. 
But yeah. He always had a strained relationship with his parents for that reason. He was known as the black sheep of the family , the problem child. It was AMAZING he was so close with his younger sister , Jackie.
His sister was his everything. Perhaps the only person Dakota was certain cared about him and for that , swore to protect her. Especially against their parents and what Dakota considered their BACKWARDS methods of parenting.
So , he sorta took to parenting her himself - teaching her life skills and survival skills and how to deal with their parents.
TATIANA
okay - Tatiana’s relationship with Kota is kind of important so I wanna get this out of the way before I dive too deep into his character + personality
when they were younger, everyone thought he and Tatiana would get together. Everyone did. Whenever the Sampson and Samuels families would get together, he and Tatiana would immediately gravitate towards each other. They often spared each other glances in church, and he claims Tatiana fell in love with his “rebel” persona.
He even took her to senior prom.
But they never officially dated - they’d hang out regularly , yes , but they never considering themselves more than just friends . . . and then some. He often snuck into Tatiana’s bedroom by climbing through her window , often 
Besides , he was the bad boy who renounced God in his family and Tatiana was the preacher’s daughter. How could they ??
Well . . . they still slept together. Quite often , actually. He often routinely visited her for such in her dorm at Lockwood , and it didn’t matter if she had a boyfriend or not. If she asked him to spend the night with her , he would.
He wrote Tatiana love letters he doesn’t know if she even opened. But it was very obvious Dakota harbored some feelings for her that went beyond friends with benefits. Tatiana may have felt the same - who knows ?? 
She led him on and played him like a fiddle. Maybe he knows about it , but refuses to accept it. He thinks she was genuinely in love with him , or he tells himself that to feel better and not so embarrassed.
Needless to say , he was struck with grief when she died. He wanted to be more than an ex-almost , but unfortunately , that was only how far they got. 
PERSONALITY / CHARACTER
Dakota’s your stereotypical rebel without a cause - he’s loud , he’s unfiltered , and he doesn’t give a FUCK about your opinion so again , SHOVE IT.
But he’s not a bad dude at all - he’s actually pretty open-minded and a little wild , but fun to hang out with. He’ll be honest with you about his opinion on you - and he is NEVER one to shy away from his emotions or hide how he feels.
Believe it or not , the only vices he has are drinking every now and then ( normally nothing more than beer ) and smoking. Hasn’t touched drugs once in his life , not even weed.
He’s very outspoken and will fucking !! Tell you !! What he thinks !! Even - no , ESPECIALLY if you don’t want to hear it.
Half the time he says shit to piss people off and get a reaction. I’m sorry this is just how he is.
DEFINITELY someone into the horrific / creepy shit. He keeps the ID Channel on as background noise and can watch most horror movies and play horror video games without flinching.
Kinda sleeps around a lot and he knows not to attach sex to romance but also . . . it’s like. Horribly easy to lead him on. He can get attached to people and it’s so easy to tell when he’s got a crush so it’s sort of easy to manipulate him like that.
He’s VERY into acting !! He’s a showman , he likes attention. And portraying someone that isn’t him is one of the most fun things to do. And he’s wicked great at it - there’s something about having a hundred eyes on him that gives him confidence and validation where some may clam up.
... Also an attention whore but not a conceited jerk kind of attention whore.
Also into music , but it’s just a background thing. He knows how to play GUITAR and also the DRUMS , and can sing really well. 
He’s short-fused as hell. It’s so easy to get him fired up as long as you say the right words , and it’s really easy to pick out what those words are. Mention or say anything negative about Tatiana or his sister and he’s on your ass.
Again , love makeup and does a lot of SFX makeup in his free time !! So yeah it’s a lot of creepy / gory shit and definitely not something his parents would approve of.
On the subject of his parents , he still lives with them but only to take care of Jackie. And whenever he’s with them , he does whatever he can to piss them off or to make them disapprove of him even MORE. So far , he’s been sliding inklings he worships the Devil and makes jokes about eloping or marrying people with careers the toxic religious people frown upon. 
Yeah he really. Doesn’t like his parents. And he doesn’t want his parents to like him.
Jackie’s the best tho.
Also call him Kota or Kody or Koakoa Puffs or any puns with his name I’ll take it
WANTED PLOTS / CONNECTIONS 
friends he has that know he was rly into Tatiana but were also aware of how she led him on 
they either fuel his false hopes
or try to knock some sense into him by telling him the truth ( never listens tho )
PEOPLE ,,, who really disapprove of how he is for whatever reason. Could be someone who was close with the Samuels’ and know Tatiana was involved with him but they can’t stand the idea of her fucking someone like him.
Soft people he goes protective papa bear over !! Bc he would !! He totally fuckin would !!
People he regularly butts head with and just wants to get a fucking reaction out of bc again , that’s the name of the game
Theatre buddies !! Theatre buddies who he gets REALLY into it with 
Or even theatre rivals , who don’t like his personality / need for attention
Fuckbuddies bc again Dakota sleeps around and sees no shame in it
Also ppl maybe who are attracted to him oNLY bc of the bad boy aesthetic / thing he’s got going on ??
Okay it’s late and I’m drawing more blanks but as always LIKE THIS FOR A PLOTTING IM !!
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jamilelucato · 6 years ago
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Gentleman [T. Hiddleston] | Pt.1
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(gif not mine, please give credits to the rightful owner)
Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Actress!reader
Request: @anon Hey girl, the body swap series are amazing!! I want to send a request, haha (I know probably you have a lot more, but take your time hehe) So I want a Tom Hiddleston x Reader where the reader is an actress too and kinda hates him bc she believes that he being a perfect gentleman is an act but they have a movie together and she kinda falls for him and doesn't know how to apologize for her past actions and how to confess but he is this sweetheart and they start dating, pretty please 🤞👀
Summary: Tell me, have you ever had a gentleman?
y/N worked once with Hiddleston, and she’s not even a little prepared to work with him again. They can’t stand each other, at least that’s how she sees the things. And now, with this new movie coming up, will she notice the truth hidden by Hiddleston politeness?
Next Chapter: July 21, 2018
A/N: Yey, I’m back and once again, I couldn’t avoid writing a series, but this will be a short one (at least that’s what I believe lol)
*all the nominees and winners from the People’s Choice Awards were not truly the ones who actually were there or won
**Wait for The Ante is a fake movie I invented for this fanfic
(just ask if you wanna be tagged)
Permanent Tags: @katelynwithpaint @nephalem67 @wonderwall23s @i-dont-wanna-go-mr-stark @sighspidey @starlightfound @just-saying-26 
my masterlist
“You don’t know the honour it’s to be up here, holding this trophy... This means so much to me and it’s all thanks to my fans, they are the love of my life, I love them so much, they are so supportive, caring... Thank you for....”
Oh Lord, I couldn’t stand one more minute of Hiddleston’s speech, but there was nothing I could do besides rolling my eyes and puffing.
“Could it be any longer?” I remarked with my best friend “Does he know that the People’s Choice Awards is not the Oscar?” and I smirked at the end of the sentence, hoping to see she holding a laugh.
Jennifer Lawrence did not laugh at my joke. Instead, she looked at me like she was my mom just about to scold me. "You are only saying that because you won nothing this year" she debated, raising an eyebrow.
"As if!" I muttered, rolling my eyes once again, and this time she laughed, probably because I sounded just like Alicia Silverstone in Clueless.
"Well, I can't say I'm sorry because I won over you on Favourite Movie Actress" she smiled, showing me the trophy.
"Nah, you deserved it" I crossed my arms. "I have only four movies, and they are mostly Marvel's. The only girl from there that could have won was Scarlett"
"Oh, but Me Before You won on Best Dramatic Movie, so you won something after all"
"Yeah, but I was a secondary character that had four lines, which means one-minute on screen... I will not count it" I smiled back at her, and she passed one arm around my back.
"Hey, next year, it's you, I'm sure," she said, comforting you and you noticed Hiddleston left the stage.
"I am sure" I echoed, staring deep at Tom's eyes while he passed on the corridor just alongside my seat. After the exchange of looks, he smirked in the dark. Thinking I didn't see, Hiddleston, I thought to myself while Jennifer let go of me.
"Did you saw him laughing at me?" I asked Jen, calling her attention.
"Who?" she replied, turning to face me.
"Hiddleston" I answered impatiently.
"Tom Hiddleston? His seat is not even in this direction, why would he use our corridor?" her eyes were confused and she started looking behind us, to see if she could find his seat.
"How do you know where is his seat?" I asked, distrustfully. Jennifer was a walking disaster, she wasn't able to memorize her own seat, who'd say someone else's.
"He was next to you when I saw the map but I asked to change his seat with mine" she clarified like it was nothing the fact that the most pretentious person on earth had a seat next to mine.
"Does he know that?" I held both of her arms, really confused at this time.
"Know what?" she asked.
"That our seats were close to each other?"
"Oh God, are you guys like declared enemies?" she lifted an eyebrow again, but this time without the mommy look.
"No, but he can't stand me." I pointed out. "I can't stand him either"
"But aren't you guys in a lot of movies together?" she asked while I let go of her arms to face the stage where the next category was being announced.
"Two movies. Marvel movies, which means we don't see each other all the time" I remarked "We are both villains so we only met in one movie, on Ragnarok, and only because my character was sent to Sakaar, and Loki was conveniently there. We kind of made a deal and all... Haven't you seen the movie?"
"You know I can't keep up with those nerdy details" she replied, turning to face the platform too. "Anyway, in one movie you got to conclude that he hates you?"
"It's not that hard to notice," I stated.
"Hm, excuse me, but it took me three movies to discern that the poor Josh had a thing for me" she commented, defending herself.
"Josh had a thing for you during Hunger Games??" What? I am a Joshifer fan.
"Can you be quiet? He's here!" he reprimanded.
"Sorry" I ducked. "Anyway, Tom Hiddleston doesn't like anybody, that's why he's an almost-40-year-old with no marriage records"
 "A very hot almost-40-year-old" she corrected and I grimaced. "You cannot deny his hotness"
"Fine, he's kind of hot"
"Kind of? He is the hotness itself!"
"Eww, it's like you have a crush on him!" I pushed her away from me while she laughed like a crazy "Please don't tell me you watched Ragnarok because of him and not me, your lifetime best friend"
"We've been best friends for 18 years only" she smiled funnily. "I have a crush on him since his first movie"
Jennifer and I became friends at a very young age because our parents were very close friends, and I always considered he family — even though, when she was raising in Hollywood, she bypassed me for a period.
"Thank you very much, Jennifer Shrader Lawrence" I rolled my eyes.
She started coming close and hugged me tightly "You know I'm just kidding, y/N"
"Yeah, I know... Tom Hiddleston's first movie is a little younger than our friendship so..." I hugged her back but she pushed me a little to face me.
"You don't stand the guy but you know how long has been since his first movie... Indeed, love and hate are close friends" she chuckled.
"I know because I used to be a fan of Thor's cast before becoming famous and all" I defended myself, trying to take me out of the bed I made myself.
"Yeah, right" she would never let me go of that one.
¨
"Well, now the award is over... let's head to the party?" Jennifer said to our little group gathered at the red carpet.
"Thought you'd never suggest it!" Emma Stone smiled walking in front of us just so she could be the first to enter our rented limousine.
Hailee Steinfeld, the youngest of our group, stepped up to meet the car, but Jen stayed behind like she wanted to say something to me.
"You know who is going to be at the party, right?"
"Oh, shut up Lawrence!" I looked at her madly while she had the happiest face on, and although no name was mentioned, I knew she was talking about Hiddleston. Or at least, he was the first to come to my mind.
¨
"Yeah, I know, things are never as welcoming as home, am I right?" Justin stuck me with him in a boring conversation about welcoming places, but he hadn't noticed my bored face, so I decided to interfere in a ruder way.
"This dance floor sounds welcoming enough, I'm going there now, bye!" I didn't even face him, I just rushed to meet Jen who was dancing to the sound of a remixed version of This Is What You Came For. "I am gonna kill you for leaving me with Timberlake!" I shouted.
She simply smiled and held my hand so I could dance with her, but I didn't have that lot of moves. "He is right there dancing, so you should dance too!" she whispered loudly in my left ear, When I looked at her confused about who was she talking about, she pointed a suited man next to Robert Downey Jr., both doing weird dancing moves but having a lot of fun next to the Hemsworth brothers.
"Is that..." she didn't allow me to finish.
"Thomas Hiddleston, the man" she smiled.
"How did you managed to get drunk in the twenty minutes you left me with Timberlake?" I asked, noticing she was more than her normal happy.
She shrugged. "I have my ways"
Chris Hemsworth notice my presence in the crowded dance floor and he gestured for me to come closer to the crew since more Marvel actors showed up in their little group.
"Go! It's your chance!"
"For the last time, Jennifer, I do not like that stuck-up, liar and fake gentleman!” but I headed to my favourite Chris anyway.
"Hey, y/N! Missed you at the presentation, were you really there?" he asked in a joking tone as usual.
"Very funny, just because I won nothing" I faked a smile "Really smooth"
"Hey, it's the little fairy" Benedict hailed me with my old nickname, inspired by my character on his movie.
"Hey, Strange Doctor" I smiled while he patted my back and I did the same. "See you all are gathering around, what is it with that? To show everyone what it's like to be in a Marvel movie?"
Chris Hemsworth brother laughed. "Excuse me then, I'm not Marvel one"
"Sorry Liam" I smiled. "But the Hunger Games girl is right over there if you wanna feel welcomed" I pointed at Jen who was dancing closer to Stone.
"Wow!" his brother laughed, pushing Liam.
"You had that coming, boy" Hiddleston smiled, joining the conversation.
He stared at me while I purposely looked away.
"Being a Marvel member is all about outclassing other actors" Downey pointed out, hugging with one arm Benedict.
"Well, if only I knew that earlier, I'd have become a villain years ago!" I shouted when the music became louder.
"Lucky me, I was there from the beginning" a smirked Hiddleston said and I stared at him with a boring face. Who asked you anything, brat?
"I was there from the beginning, thank you very much" corrected Downey, unleashing from Benedict's arm. "Now, I'm going, bye kids"
"So early?" Benedict complained.
"I have a wife, you know" Downey smiled.
"I thought I was the only one" Benedict pouted and we all laughed, but with Robert gone, the little group started disassembling.
"Want something to drink?" Hiddleston whispered loudly close to me and it shocked me since I didn't notice his approach.
"No," I said, rolling my eyes, trying not to sound rude but it was involuntary at this point.
I looked at his white teeth in the dark. "You didn't have to be nasty"
"Yeah, whatever" I grumbled, and suddenly started to dance to the song now on, trying to make him disappear from close to me.
"y/N, from a girl who worked with me before and is going to work with me again, I did not expect to see such a reaction..." he started and got my attention.
"What you mean again? I was not asked to come back to Infinity War" I justified.
"Oh, no but... You are the main character in Wait For The Ante, so..." he looked more confused than me.
"What you mean Wait For The Ante? I did not get that part! Well, at least I got no calls back..." I started thinking about it, but no, no one had told me a thing about Wait For The Ante. 
Tom looked at me, waiting for a better reaction to be made, but there was none so he continued. "I saw in my script that we were gonna be working together a lot next month so you could try being a little nicer to me..."
But I wasn't really paying attention to anything else that was coming out of his mouth. In the heat of that moment, all I could think of doing was kissing that man's cheek for saying such a good news to me.
That discovery had totally made me feel better, and the fact that I was probably gonna be the one to take care of Jennifer didn't even see to matter.
When I looked back at Hiddleston, he was stunned, and soon as I realized what I just had done — kissed the cheeks of my nondeclared enemies —, I ran away from him, pretending to scream for Lawrence when all I wanted to do was found a quiet place to call my family about the new part I had won, because this was a ritual of mine.
I finally found a peaceful spot, way away from the party but it was okay. Talking to my parents was more important. That was until I looked at my phone's screen and realized it was two hours past midnight, and I decided not to call them because they were probably sleeping.
I can't believe I got that role!, I thought by myself, so happy I was gonna be the main character in a movie for the first time. I mean, when I was in Doctor Strange, I did had a part bigger than my usuals but this time the whole movie was based on my character and I couldn't believe my agent — or even the cast selectors of the movie — had not thought of giving me a single call.
Instead, I heard it from the mouth of Tom Hiddleston, the guy I never thought could say something real. Wait, he does have a tendency for lying... But then, why would he bother lying to me? 
The worst was my reaction to that, kissing that man in his cheeks? Where was I with my mind? I probably reached nirvana or something.
Wait for a second... if he knew, he was gonna be a big important part of that movie, and if it's that so, which character could he be?
I started forcing myself to remember the movie's characters, and there was a lot that would have big appearances since in a Casino there are generally big personalities.
There was Vanessa's—my persona— best friend, and he showed a lot since he was trying to take her out of this gambling world.
There was also another character, very important to the plot — at least that was what I heard since I couldn't get the full script to the casting — and he was also a British man.
Oh, God.
The most important male role in the movie was the love interest of my character. And Tom Hiddleston was possibly gonna play him.
Pt.2 here
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freckliedan · 6 years ago
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(for context, i made a post asking if this anon would b comfy telling me if she was a part of the lgbt community because i would be able to answer more quickly & with more nuance if i knew! my response would’ve been very different for the first ask if it had come from a cis/het person)
hi b!!!!!!!! ty so much for sending me this ask! this is a conversation i’ve had with friends a number of times & i think it’s really good to talk about so i’m really glad to have the chance to talk about it on my blog!
(under the cut because this got long)
i really feel you on this entire situation, tbh- i really hate to assume people’s sexualities, especially people who i don't actually know, bc doing that enforces gender roles & stereotypes so much of the time. especially when it's straight people doing the assuming? like, straight people talking about having good "gaydar" for me feels like them talking about being good at stereotyping people based on mannerisms etc and it makes me so fucking uncomfortable!
i'm 100% of the opinion that unless someone has the agency in telling people they're lgbt (like, they get to come out on their own terms, or they're so comfortably out that you'd maybe hear them referred to with pronouns besides he/she or hear about a same-gender partner when hearing about them in conversation)? nobody should be making a definitive assumption or trying to find proof or support of any perspective on their sexuality. people should get to be as closeted or as out as they're comfortable being, bc more than anything all lgbt people deserve to feel safe.
that said? i feel like lgbt ppl have actual "gaydar" but that it's not the same thing straight people say "gaydar" is. i think that for lgbt people, it has as much to do with being able to identify homophobic or transphobic straight or cis people (bc there are transphobic lgb folx, why do people. DO that) and being able to identify what straight/cis people are safe to be around as it does being able to find other lgbt people. it's more of a survival mechanism than a way of identifying people who are different, the way it functions for straight people.
so like? idk. over the past few years my concept of whether it's okay to speculate about a celebrity's sexuality has shifted a little? when i was in high school & recently out of it, i was more firmly against the idea that someone could tell if xyz celebrity wasn't straight, and super firmly believed that the only way you could know was if they said as much in words.
so what changed?
i experienced the world more, and i've learned so much about the lgbt community and about myself.
one of the big turning points for me was kristen stewart; i was never a super huge fan of hers, but i saw posts fairly often speculating that she and alicia cargile were together. not posts by like, news outlets or anything, posts by other wlw who were saying 'i see the way that kstew is dressing and acting and what she & alicia cargile are sharing of their relationship with the public and news articles keep calling them live-in gal-pals etc but that's exactly how i dress and behave and how my relationship with my girlfriend looks and how people treat our relationship when they're refusing to acknowledge the fact that we're lgbt."
also at the time i started seeing a lot of posts that were saying that the speculation was shitty, and for a hot minute i felt awful for seeing and reblogging posts & hoping/believing that they were girlfriends. the next wave of discourse tho was about how it was okay to speculate and hope if you were just an individual who was also lgbt, and how it was only shitty when it was invasive paparazzi and tabloids who had a platform that could actually disrupt her life and put pressure on her to come out. it was about power; one lesbian or bi or pan girl who was hoping a celebrity they looked up to was like them vs a business that doesn't have any investment in this besides to gain money/readership off of a celebrity's potential identity that had every right to keep their silence and privacy? it's two entirely different things.
i also went back to college in 2016, and realized that like. yeah it's shitty when straight people stereotype and assume things about people, but a lot of lgbt people don't want to be perceived as straight and intentionally dress and behave in ways that signal the fact that the're lgbt. i'm not a scholar on any of this; this is all from my lived experience. but i think it might be called flagging? i've seen the word a few times & just googled it & it seems right, even though i haven't read any of the articles for sure.
essentially it's a way of signaling to other lgbt people "hey i'm here and i'm also lgbt" without really having to disclose that info to all the straight people around you as well. and like, heteronormativity is a hell of a drug, you know? a lot of straight people are almost unwilling to pick up on the signals that someone's lgbt.
an example i can think of is like, lgbt people using non-gendered terms to refer to their significant other or any exes around straight people; it's not lying, and it leaves the opportunity for any other lgbt people present to maybe connect with the person who's doing the pronouns dance at a later point in time in a one on one setting.
another example would be like, butch and gender nonconforming wlw making their identity clear in the way they dress and behave? the song ring of keys from the musical fun home is about a young girl seeing a butch lesbian for the first time and going !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! same!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! even without having the words. it's lgbt people broadcasting their identity for other lgbt people, not for straight people. it doesn't get seen or talked about as much because of that, but that doesn't make it any less real.
so how does this relate back to dnp?
i'm firmly of the opinion that the're like, doing this. they're living their lives without the complete self-censorship they used to have and because of that openness a lot of lgbt ppl see them, we see the ways in which dan and phil are quietly sharing the fact that they're not straight with us, and i think it's okay to accept that for what it is.
like? i genuinely am willing to argue that dan came out in his diss track. you look at that, and you look at him talk about labels in a liveshow (this video genuinely helped me a lot while i was going through the process of finding the right labels for myself) and you look at all of trying to live my truth or the fact that in dan's rebranding video part of the old branding that was going up in flames was gender rolls (i still have a screenshot of that on my phone). it's also in the countless ways he alludes to being attracted to men, and the ways he rejects a lot of the tenants of masculinity that society prescribes in the ways he dresses and presents himself to the world; that's not an inherently lgbt thing to do, but i think it's true that a majority of lgbt ppl experience gender more consciously than straight people do.​
i'm not going to lie and say i'm aware of as many specific details in regards to phil that indicate his sexuality-i do know less off the top of my head, but not because i don't love phil, just because dan means more to me personally in regards to my queerness and the ways i navigate my identities. phil also tends to share way less of himself with the internet than dan does? like, we know a lot of specifics about who dan is and who dan has been but despite knowing a lot of fluff about phil, we know less substantial information and that's super fucking valid and i love his double aquarius sagittarius rising enigmatic ass exactly as is. and i know i have things in my he likes boys tag about both of them, including (i think) at least one masterpost about phil.
which like, doesn't even bring us to the fact that i'm so sure they're together, too? it's not even like. things like the vd*y v*d, though that was still findable on tumblr when i joined the phandom in 2012.
i'm sure because i can look at dan and phil in the present, and the ways in which they function in eachother's lives, and the things they've said about their future together-the concept of a forever home, of getting a dog together,  the way that when either of them talks about a very old version of themself they talk about having kids & when you combine that with the idea of a forever home you kind of are left with only one implication- i look at all of those things and the ways they compare to my life, as a queer person in a long term committed relationship. and i know. i’m sure about them.
and i could go on. the thing that really gets me is how dan and phil, by all intents and purposes, hit all three sides of sternberg's triangle in his triangular theory of love; they've got the commitment of a shared life and they've talked about their shared future, they've got the intimacy of knowing and supporting each other for nine years and the close knowledge they have of each other is so great in volume that it's been the focus of what, two videos (the friendship test ones) and (spoilers, minorly) a section of ii? and in the way they look at each other, and in a lot of implications we've picked up on over the years, the passion is there, too.
they've fuckin got that good good consummate love, babeY.
they also constantly answer all of each other's bids, as per gottman's research/theories on successful relationships. i'm not gonna get too far into that, but it's what my like a sunflower tag is for.
and gosh, i've gotten rather off topic again. my apologies, b.
i guess the point is that like. as a queer person in a long term relationship, it's really easy for me to look at dan and phil and be sure that they're together. and i don't feel bad, anymore, thinking about that and speculating about it; i think it's ok for lgbt individuals to hope that the people they look up to are like them, and to talk about that hope.
and it would be nice, if dan and phil came out someday. stressful because of the fan reaction, i'm expecting a full meltdown if/when it happens (i'm leaning towards when, i think they want to get married someday).
but for me, i'm already sure. they've already given us so much and they don't owe us anything, we aren't entitled to them disclosing their identities, but i think they've already told us in subtle ways, a hundred times over. so my conscience is clear and my heart is sure, b. i hope yours can be too.
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peachymhaechan · 6 years ago
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“I didn't know it’d be this hard...”
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Genre: fluff, soulmate! au where you switch bodies when you turn 21 and have until the clock strikes midnight to leave clues and find your soulmate before you’re switched back into your own body
Warning: language
Pairing: Jungwoo x Reader
A/N: hey y’all, this marks the beginning of my soulmate au project! I thought that Jungwoo would be the best to start this off with because he is such a sweetheart and the definition of living fluff lol. anyways, pls enjoy this! 
it was common knowledge in your family what your soulmate quirk was 
typically, you find out what your soulmate quirk is when you’re younger
one of your friends had a little flower start growing behind her ear and it kept getting closer to blooming as the days counted down before she met her soulmate
once she met her soulmate, the flower bloomed and guess what? her soulmate had the same phenomenon happen to her
when you were little, you had to watch on the sidelines as all of your friends figured out their quirks
after a while, you had completely given up on the idea of having a soulmate
it wasn’t common to not have a soulmate, but it did happen in some cases
either someone never developed their quirk or their soulmate died
whatever the case may be, you were accepting of the fact that you didn’t have a soulmate
your friends and family tried to convince you that your soulmate was still out there
after all, your family for some odd reason had the same quirk
I mean, not everyone in your family did, but a lot of your relatives dealt with the same thing
they wouldn’t experience anything to be considered a quirk
until they hit their 21st birthday
when they’d wake up in a completely different body
wow, a very vivid out of body experience
that meant that the mind of the body you were in had to be in your body, right?
that’s exactly how it worked
and at the strike of midnight, you would switch back to your own body
so you had one whole day to figure out who your soulmate is and meet them
otherwise you could be spending the rest of your life without a soulmate
which would suck!! :(
SO
your family all tried to reassure you that that was most likely your quirk, but you had convinced yourself over the years that you’d never find them
the night before your 21st birthday, you had gone to bed early after a day of nasty a 8 AM class and work
you slept like a baby pretty much
and then you woke up on your birthday
looked in the mirror
and found the face of someone else staring back at you
holy shit
all you could think was “what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck”
after you calmed down a bit, you remembered all that your family had told you
you have all day (since it’s their birthday, too)
they’re in your body, in probably just as much of a panic as you are
you have until the strike of midnight to be in their body and lay clues around
you don’t have any of their memories/knowledge of their life
so that means you cannot go on their phone or laptop and follow yourself on social media from their account
you have to lay honest to god clues around so you can meet them
bc if you don’t find them? you won’t have them for the rest of your life
SO
this chance could not be taken for granted
deciding to make the most of this
and, ya know, FIND YOUR SOULMATE
you got up and went to the bathroom
you looked in the mirror again and found yourself looking at the face of your soulmate
he was high key adorable?? wtf
the very definition of uwu
a full marshmallow boy !! 
someone you’d look at and want to call bub
squishy cheeks!! 
cute smile !!
but you also recognized him as someone that you never would have expected like. ? 
how in the WORLD????
ANYWAYS
you were just about to leave the bathroom when you heard voices outside the bathroom
“hasn’t jungwoo hyung been in there for a while?” “yeah, I hope he’s okay haha” 
“ohhhhhh  hYUNG, OPEN UP-” and a group of young boys tumbled in after fucking,,, beating the door down
“are you okay, hyung?” one of them asked, a boy a dolphin laugh
“you look like you don't know who we are”
“listen.... to be 100% completely honest with you guys,” you started, hoping they could help you
“oh here we go, he’s going to give us some smartass response,” the tan boy rolled his eyes
“I know who you guys are but I need you all to do me a solid,” you told them
“I need you to tell me where I am right now, and I need you guys to help me get out of everything on our schedule for today,” you told them, causing them to pretty much blank
all seven of them stared back at you with no emotion
and then finally the oldest went, “you want us to... tell you where you are and... get you out of performing today?” 
“I know it sounds crazy but- you have to or else- I might not meet my soulmate...” 
luckily they didn’t ask any more questions and agreed
after all, jungwoo meeting his soulmate was on the line
the boys pulled you out to the living room where you met the other boys and told them what was going on
“so yeah... I’m not really Jungwoo right now although I mean physically I am but... his mind is in my body and mine is in his and I have to find him- er, me I guess...” 
and you were #blessed to have them on your side
they all came up with this master plan to get you out of performing that evening
they were going to have at least 5+ of them act like they came down with food poisoning so it would be pointless to have the remaining not vomiting/shitting people perform
a solid plan, tbh
“you all are truly angels and I owe you so much, thank you all so much, oh my god,” you said and started running around and kissing them all on the cheek
they all didn’t know how to react to it bc ?? jungwoo but not jungwoo ?? 
“I promise, when I find him we will take you all out for dinner, on us,” you said, which made everyone get excited and start hugging you instead 
“is there anything else I should know about him before I just wander out into the world in his body and try and find myself?” 
“he likes going to little cafes when he is stressed!” -lucas, a god and best best friend ever
so you set out (with a hat and mask on obviously, you were on a mission and this isn’t amateur hour)
and began to find your way back to your house
but bc you were in the body of nct’s jungwoo
people mcfuckin recognized you and asked for pictures
shit shit shit
you had absolutely no idea how to act around fans
like,, sure,, jungwoo might know how to verbalize heart emojis but you sure as hell didn’t
so you had a lot of interactions that went like such: 
“are you jungwoo from NCT?!” 
“yes!” 
“OMG can I get a picture with you?” 
“Of course!”
“OMG thank you, I love you so much, you’ve inspired me-” (insert rambling here)
*just nod the whole time and smile*
“thank you! you inspire me to keep doing what I’m doing!” >but very awkward
it took you well over two hours to get to your house 
and boy when you got there
it was a little difficult to explain to your parents why you were there
“hey uhhh Mom and Dad, can you let me/my soulmate’s body in the house?” 
of course they knew what was going on
so they let you in and made you food (even though you said you weren't hungry, they were more worried about feeding their future son-in-law)
“You just missed him, honey, he left twenty minutes ago to find you,” your mother told you and you shut down
“Are you kidding me?” 
“Well do you have his cell phone?” 
“Yes but I don’t know his password.” 
so cheating the quirk was out of question
“All I know about him is where the dorms are, he has a performance at this one arena, and he likes to go to small cafes when he is stressed.” 
“It might not seem like a lot, but it is a start, hon. You know what you have to do,” you father said, politely telling you to get out of the house and find him
after giving yourself a lil pep talk
(pretty much just you saying “GO GET YA MANS, HUNTY”) 
you were set:)
SO
“i’m going to get my mans”
and oh man
did you
you had a little under 10 hours left to find him
first stop: check to see if any of your friends had seen you 
you went to your best friend’s house, not giving a shit that you technically were not you
“Hey, I don’t have enough time to explain but did you see Y/N today?” 
cue best friend chilling on their doorstep in complete shock 
“uhhhhhhh yeah, she was here earlier and said she was going to the uhh. The NCT concert tonight after running around the city to find someone. I’m assuming that person is you.” 
“Yep, that’d be correct... thank you!” 
“Should I- should I tell her you stopped by?” 
well it ain’t like he can get in my phone, so no BUT
he could at least see the notification on the screen so why not?? 
it wouldn’t hurt to try
“Sure, if you don’t mind doing that. Oh, and one more thing? Can you tell her to go to the Red Ring Café after the concert? Thank you, I appreciate it!” 
fuck
at least you knew he’d be in two definite locations later: 
the café and the concert
uhhhhhhhhh the concert that you were supposed to be performing at
well you couldn’t go there, so you’d have to catch him at the café 
“I didn’t know it’d be this hard...”
the rest of the day was spent wandering around, trying to keep yourself out of the public’s eye but also trying to find yourself
so very confusing and soul crushing
the concert rolled around and you being you
managed to find yourself outside of the venue
you could hear the music and fans screaming from the outside and it killed you to know that your soulmate was in there
luckily nobody noticed you/one of the members of the band
you went to the café just as the concert was about to end
you ordered a latte and sat in the corner, eyes constantly on the door
your heart was beating out of your (his?) chest 
about five minutes before the café was going to close, and five minutes before you were going to switch back, you (he?) walked in
you ordered and after you picked up your drink, you saw him (you?)
fuck fuck fuck
you walked over and sat down across from you (wow, confusing I know)
“are you my soulmate?” you (really Jungwoo asked)
“yeah, that’s me!” you (actually you in Jungwoo’s body) said, tearing up from being so excited
you both sat there in silence, not knowing what to do
you had to admit- it was weird af to see yourself from somebody else’s eyes
but the five minutes came and went by very fast
and before you knew it
you were back in your own body, looking at your soulmate in his own body
kim jungwoo
kim jungwoo?
kim jungwoo.
kim jungwoo!
kim jungwoo was your soulmate!! 
he grabbed your hand and interlaced his fingers with yours, going full uwu
“You’re really my soulmate?” he asked, just wanting to be 100% sure 
(he also couldn’t believe that you, a beautiful human being, was meant to be his for the rest of his life) 
“Yep, I’m really your soulmate,” he confirmed
since the café was closing, y’all decided to take a walk by the river and get to know one another
after talking for almost three hours, you realized that you were glad you had a soulmate
everything had been said in total agreement
you two just... clicked?? it wasn’t like anything you had ever experienced before
“You know, I convinced myself that I would never find you, or even have you...” you told him, eyes fixed ahead
“Me, too. But I’m so incredibly lucky to have you,” he responded, looking at you (again, full uwu) 
I think it’s safe to say that you ended your birthday a pretty happy camper
for starters, you were 21!
but more importantly, your soulmate! 
your kim jungwoo! 
and you wouldn’t ask for anything more, because kim jungwoo??
the perfect gift you could have asked for
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lcncasters-blog · 7 years ago
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hey everyone!!! i’m d, i’m 23, and i use they/them pronouns. super hyped about being here so i’ma just get right into it
so kai is my fave character and kinda notoriously The Worst while also being The Best, so i’m warning y’all before we even go in that he’s actually so sloppy and wild pls proceed w/ caution. i’ve been playing him for over 4 years. that being said, he does have a fuck ton of information, so while the bullet points are going to be as condensed as i can possibly make them, you should really check out the appearance section (or you can just look at my sidebar which is wonderful artwork of kai one of my close friends did for me --- give them love on their art blog nialls ok SO talented) of his STATS FRAMEWORK and then if you really hate yourself i have a DEVELOPMENT TAG too with a bunch of headcanons (feel free to RB the rebloggable ones from me btw)
LOUIS TOMLINSON? no ⏤ KAI LANCASTER, the DEMIBOY is TWENTY-THREE and was born with a GOLD soul, and now has a GREY soul. i would describe HIM/THEM as EXUBERANT + BRAVE, yet CARELESS + IMPATIENT. KAI spends HIS/THEIR time PLAYING AT SMALL VENUES WITH HIS ALT ROCK BAND AND WORKING AS A NANNY and has lived in seattle for TWO YEARS.
TW FOR TERMINAL ILLNESS/CANCER, SUBSTANCE ABUSE MENTIONS, ABLEISM, & MENTIONS OF SELF-HARM/SUICIDE.
kai was born a gold soul into a pretty posh, old-money typea family in manchester, uk. like i’m talking on his mothers side they’re all doctors, lawyers, scholars, etc, etc, and on his dad’s side entrepeneurs. his parents themselves built a fairly large business from the ground up together that now goes by the name of lancaster industries. their current biggest venture and pretty much what they’ve built the whole of their fortune on is a chain of luxury hotels that you can find basically in every major city in the world.
he had 3 younger sisters who he essentially raised considering his parents were too busy to be around during their childhood. only two of them are still living, his youngest sister having passed a couple years ago at the age of 7 from leukemia.
his mother is literally the devil? kai always hated school/struggled in it for a multitude of reasons, not the least of which were his not diagnosed adhd and his dyslexia, which he never got the help he probably needed for. he’s always kinda just thought he was extremely stupid, and that idea was reinforced by the way his mother always used to tell him the very same thing. “think harder, kai. use your brain.” is a phrase that’s essentially been reinforced so many times in his head, he p much hears her voice ringing in his ears every time he gets so much as vaguely confused now.
that being said, despite how he struggled in school, he was always a very vibrant, kind, charismatic, and magnetic young person. he tends to draw people into him with his silly nature and upbeat attitude, and he’s kind of the Eternal Optimist, so he was fairly popular when he was attending. to say he has eccentricities would be putting it lightly, and he’s loud, never seeming to run out of things to say or fail to command the interest of the room.
anyway things with his mum only got worse in his relationship with her when he barely managed to complete his a levels by the skin of his teeth (and with an absurd amount of tutoring), and then refused to go to the university of her choosing. she p much wanted him to “get his shit together” so he could take over the family business someday, but i am not kidding when i say kai would wilt away and probably legit just die if he had to work in a place like that forever – and that’s assuming he even got through business school in the first place.
his father was always a push-over and sort of was absent/bent to her will when he was around, so he didn’t bother to defend kai when his mother decided 2 cut him off from everything and essentially ex-communicate him once she realised he was refusing 2 be manipulated and forced into shit anymore.
that was at age 18, and by that point he had plans to move out and travel to london with his best mate anyway, so he was basically like “peace out” and got the hell out of dodge. he still harbours a lot of guilt for abandoning his younger sisters, particularly so considering his youngest one fell ill so soon after his departure.
he lives, breathes, and sleeps piano. music as a whole is something he’s passionate about, having taken the time to develop his somewhat unorthodox voice, but the way his fingers fly over the ivories is a living art form more than it is anything. it’s how he communicates, how he speaks his deepest truth and just like? put those feelings out there into the world that he otherwise wouldn’t be able to articulate in the common vernacular.
so what he wants to do with his life is to just? talk to people? through his music? to play for them and the be in front of a crowd every night and to feel the energy of them, to command them with his presence and to exist with them in that way. he almost gets high off of it? he’s been playing small shows since age nineteen with his band, but since he moved to america he obvi hasn’t had them and has been on his own.
SORRY I’M REALLY TRYING TO CONDENSE THIS so ok basically he was in love w this girl from the time they were 14. they lost their virginity 2 each other, they were on & off all through HS, & then through to age 20 after he moved away and all that. she was v v ill and struggled with mental illness and kai tried his best 2 take care of her, but he was always in over his head despite his dedication to like making her feel OKAY. she needed help that he could not give 2 her, and they ended up breaking up & him letting her go at the end. she died soon after that, and it remains unclear 2 him whether or not it was a suicide. it was officially ruled as an “accident”, but he knows different and yeah i mean. essentially like.... the most “smudges” on his soul kinda came from his sitch w her bc he was always coming and leaving and dropping her and returning when she needed him and like. he TRIED but he just COULDN’T? anyways
after that he got involved with this boy who was a substance abuser, addicted to H to b exact, and for a while he thought that he was getting better and they were building off of each other, building a healthy life together. the fact he called kai his “new addiction” was probably never a good thing, but kai didn’t recognize that at the time. they got engaged eventually, and kai was 100% convinced that he was the actual love of his life after caro. of course, in the end, it wasn’t built to last, and when it went bad, it went really bad. kai eventually felt like there was a chasm several miles deep between them, and he had no hope of getting to the other side again. he broke it off, broke the guy’s heart, and made his soul even darker.
THIS NEXT ONE IS KINDA AN OPTION CONNECTION OKAY SO IF ANY1 IS INTERESTED PLS PLS LMK!!!
kai has been posting vids on YT of him covering songs on his YouTube for like actual years, and when he was around 20 he met this person via the comments section on one of them. they seemed to be quite the fan of his interpretation of some of the songs he chose to play. they ended up talking more and more as time went on, exchanging contact information, and grew very very very close.
that was the start of the LDR that is what brought him to america/to seattle in the first place. they were together for about eight months and had seen each other in person three times for a total of about 3 weeks before he made the decision to get started on his visa and move to the states. the moment he was able to, he crossed the pond and moved in w them!!
strain on their relationship was created when at first kai was unable to find work and contribute to the bills and the household funds. they lived in a tiny flat, and going from barely seeing each other to having each other all at once and all the time was a lot. on top of that, kai was homesick and restless and felt trapped because that’s what kai does and it’s not okay and it’s totally wrong and he cheated on them soooo there’s another tick against his soul ig. within six months of his arrival, they broke up, and kai moved out.
he couch surfed w some friends he’d met 4 a while, and eventually found a decent paying job as a nanny for a well off family.
he plays live shows at small venues in bars/clubs and still seeks to make a living as a musician but it’s hard out there and plus his soul aint exactly the prettiest to look at any more. i mean he doesn’t have a DARK DARK grey soul, it’s more a lighter grey, not quite silver, but definitely not storm clouds.
he’s still working on getting his full citizenship though he’s v v v close 2 it & has been lowkey getting help from his cousin w paying for the process so!!
THAT’S BASICALLY IT
last but not least IM REALLY FUCKING SORRY  ICOULDN’T MAKE THIS SHORTER I JUST HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS AND fEELIGNSA
SEND ME AN IM OR LIKE IF YOU WANT TO PLOT!
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