Me, listening to a podcast discussion of Shirley: Man, I should really reread Shirley.
Me, listening to a podcast discussion of Kim: Mmm, no, I should reread that first. It's been too long.
Me, listening to a podcast discussion of North and South: ...Darn it!
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Barto breaking down thinking he's going to die and the one thing he regrets is not being able to see Luffy become pirate king, and when it turns out he can live despite a mistake committed by his undying loyalty (that Shanks forgives because, what the hell, it isn't even that serious and scaring him is good enough as a warning), Yasopp goes and literally attacks his ship with the probability of killing them all...... Yasopp when I fucking catch you--
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You know how the sound creature in Scherzo wants the Doctor and Charley to sacrifice themselves for it because that's the only concept of love it's ever had? And the reason for that is because it's only ever heard Charley and the Doctor talk about love - it was literally born from their resentment, their love, every single sound they made? And from their words it learned emotion and desire, and the Doctor's first sacrifice of sound put reason to that emotion far, far too quickly; it learned from "Of course I loved you, I killed myself for you!" but it didn't understand what that meant. (I mean, did the Doctor?) Charley and the Doctor idolize the idea of one another, and Scherzo is the point where that falls apart, where they have to face the aftermath of the grand gestures they made in Neverland and Zagreus and they realize that their broken reality and broken selves aren't quite what they thought. The sound creature's concept of love is based entirely around self-sacrifice for some grander idea because that's how Charley wants it to be, that's the only way the Doctor understands it. And it learned from them far too well, even as its accelerated maturity meant it didn't understand anything.
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You are the daughter of an angelic faerie and an elven king. You have grown up inside the only magical safe-haven of an increasingly apocalyptic land outside. You have wanted for nothing, essentially leading the perfect life, suffering and death playing little role beyond the abstract. Your father will never die, and your mother will never leave, but for tradition you are still crown princess and are educated as such. You love to dance and to sing.
You meet some kind of monster inside your mother's borders, a monster not of her or your making. It stumbled across you, dancing in the forest, bloody and travel-worn and weary and wide-eyed as it stares. You are stronger than it, but you run rather than lunge for the kill. You feel pity, more than fear. And something about him makes the part of you that you inherited from your mother sing.
He tries to follow you, for a year and a day. You are stronger, and faster, and stealthier, and you let him see you sometimes anyways. You are not convinced that he is not a monster, but nor are you convinced that he is.
Spring blooms again to the tune of your song, and you let him get closer than before until you run.
But you hear him speak for the first time. He is a speaker, and perhaps to him you are the monster. You do not run, and you do not kill.
He calls you "Tinuviel"
He calls you nightingale- a little songbird, plain and brown, with a lovely voice. They are your mother's creation, but he does not know this.
He calls you daughter of twilight- perhaps for your skin and eyes and hair, but perhaps because that is when he has seen you most.
He calls you singer- creator of the very fabric of the universe, skilled enough to deserve the title.
You are the most beautiful creature the world will ever see, the daughter of an angel and a king. He does not call you beautiful, or angelic, or princess. He calls you a singer, plain and brown, dark and distant as the approaching night.
He is bloody and travel-worn and weary and wide-eyed as you dare to step closer.
He called you nightingale.
You don't know what to call him, but you hope to find out.
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rewatching s1 this time around has actually left me sooooo fascinated by buck and abby's relationship??????? bc what we know of it in its aftermath is actually completely visible on screen during the season???
in episode 6 when abby is talking to carla about a potential valentines day date with buck she outright says she's fine with him being a boytoy and it just being something casual so she can feel good in herself again and is almost complaining that buck is taking it so seriously by trying to go slow. and the thing is, i don't think her stance on that ever changes???????
she absolutely cares about him and appreciates him for everything he does for her (both in helping support her with her mom and what he does in helping her find her way back to herself) but i don't think she ever really wanted or needed him to be more than that????
on the flipside, you have buck who's experiencing feelings he's never felt before and is so totally overwhelmed by this woman who's making him realise real connection is possible and it feels a million times better than the way he's vied for people's attention before. and there's something a little heartbreaking in the way he questions if he's ready for it to be something real. because bobby encourages him to step into the relationship fully and in the end he does do that
but abby doesn't really want him to???
so you have buck, fully committed and ready to be the partner he thinks abby needs, and abby, who is so completely unable to be that partner in return because she wants to navigate the next stage of her life alone
and aksdjfh it's just!!!! so!!!!! interesting!!!!!!!!! and i am once again BEGGING someone to make a gifset/video/edit/anything for them with reckless driving by lizzy mcalpine
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Duet Fanzine | Poem by Maria Shaw, art by Doreen DuBois (1980)
--poem transcribed into plain text below--
EXPRESSION
In the after time,
when the ebb-flow passion's tide has subsided...
Leaving us spent
and enveloped in hazy warmth.
I search in vain
for a way to tell you
of the poetry whirling through my mind,
of the singing within my heart,
of the fierce joy coursing through my veins...
And to convey to you... my gratitude...
for your opening of the door
into this new world you have shown me.
But words, can sound so glib, so false,
And even the heart's most well meant phrases,
sometimes sound like a tired cliché.
So, I'll just say,
"I love you."
Because that's the truth.
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"i've lost my way too."
"the second you see her you're gonna feel like yourself again."
god she's talking to her god and ayda too. fig has felt so adrift and disconnected from herself and i think so much of that is that she misses ayda, the part of herself that only exists around ayda. she's saying this to ankarna but she's saying it to herself too. the second she sees her she'll feel like herself again
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God, just. this scene. the way Sonic is desperately trying to rebuild the dynamic he had with his original friends, introducing them to each other like they're still the ones from back home.
He even calls Nine "Tails" again, when he hadn't slipped up like that in a while. It's like he's trying to speak their original selves back into existence, despite the very obvious negative feedback he's getting from the others in doing so.
"We got the whole band back together!" he says cheerfully, while everyone is well outside arm's reach and looking at him with mild annoyance
Like. you can practically see him mentally filtering out the others' reactions because he's just so darn happy to see his "friends" all in one place. He doesn't treat them like strangers because he refuses to think of them as not being his friends.
He knows they're not themselves at the moment, sure, but he's convinced he can "fix" things if they all work together like usual. He doesn't really consider what they might want in this equation, which is a bizarre instance of Sonic being like... selfish, but in a way that still involves helping other people in his eyes.
After all, it's just that their memories are messed up, right? They're not actually total strangers to him now, right??
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