#you're all welcome

[charleythehouseplant]

Rivers of London fans, how are we doing in the wake of Nightingale being canonically asexual?

[pinkflyingtiger]

x x x x x x x x

[theplantbish]

Do as he says

[jaal-ama-daravv]

Introducing, Heinrix van Calox

the tortured lover

[d4rk-x-w0lf-17]

wind breaker au where ash lynx is sakura's guardian angel and is currently having an aneurysm, wanting to strangle endo and giving griffin a thousand apologies and praise cuz he now knows what it's like to be an older brother to a reckless idiot

[maivalkov]

NedPort | T+ | Much fluff

Since he's already in London for a visit, João isn't surprised when Arthur asks him for a favour. Albeit vague, it's a simple task, and in truth—when João thinks about it—it's not so much a request but a blessing in disguise. A day out he's needed, wanted, for some time.

Happy birthday/NedPort day to me. Have a fic. 🎉

Read on ao3

[a-pigeons-soliloquy]

BLÅHAJIBAL

[promptsbytaurie]

do you have any good references for kiss scenes 🥲

of course!! let me know if you want/need more :D

fics for reference: good kiss scenes

the art of missing the ground - not too exaggerated of a kiss, feels very natural, sweet

paths are made by walking - a bit spicier ig?? i dunno these are more lighthearted

where you go, i will follow - kiss has meaning!!! kiss as a plot device!! good example of more 'negative' reasons ig (still soft tho)

but you saw enough - more climactic? also kinda spicier soooo...? (help me)

pick me up and dust me off - literally so soft you will get cavities. top tier fic. natural kiss too, not too exaggerated

shrapnel - good example, shows that not every relationship has to begin with or star a kiss

(ain't nothin' like) the real thing - definitely spicier. nice example of buildup and that good ol climactic approach where you're literally just screaming 'oh my god kiss already'

listen (he's already told you five times) - another good example of when kissing is not the only form of love!

i counted days, i counted miles - excellent buildup, the kiss has... meaning? it isn't just a kiss yknow it has emotional depth

but we can try - also has meaning. i'm not a huge fan of the trope where like 'oh they aren't in love/dating until they kiss' but this fic actually writes it really well!

[dreampsychosis]

Wagner Moura photographed by Jordan Strauss for Esquire Magazine.

[finniestoncrane]

Digger is the type of mf who dreams of taking you to the beach on because 1) swimsuit, and 2) on the off chance you get stung by a jellyfish just he can be the hero and piss on you to deactivate the toxin.

he doesn't even have to wait for the chance, i'm over there barely in the water screaming and begging for him to come and save me u-u

maybe i got stung on my tits too oh no, he can't prove i didn't and i don't think he'd care, as long as i ended up looking like this:

[boytoykevinday]

ok sure zellweger is cute but is he any good?

IS HE ANY GOOD! oh you are definitely going to regret asking that question anon.

sit down i have to educate you and this WILL be lengthy and WILL include way too much information because i can't like something normally. many sources will be sited. so buckle up, buttercup.

(disclaimer, i realise this is all junior hockey stats and "that's not the nhl!" i don't care, we can have this conversation again in a couple years.) ANYWAY

olen zellweger! olen freaking zellweger!

start with the basics: 5'9", 180 pound left shooting defenseman currently playing for the kamloops blazers in the WHL. he was chosen 34th overall by the anaheim ducks in 2021 and he compares his game to samuel girard.

another one of those "hm if he was bigger he would have been drafted higher" defensemen.

"okay but why do you keep calling him the saviour of the anaheim ducks?"

1) it's a joke

2) is it really?

3) click below and find out!

hello to everyone that clicked, this is going to be lengthy!

real quick, his card from last year, for those who like stats:

he's no longer playing for everett and this is last year's, as stated, but i am ALWAYS ready to talk about zelly's playing.

first:

not necessary but this answer is nothing if it's not self indulgent.

also, when reading these, remember he missed a month for world juniors.

fun WHL stats to note for the stats folks:

zelly has the second highest shots on goal total this year, out of any player regardless of position. oh, you may ask, who is he second to? well, happy to answer! he's second only to connor bedard.

he has the most shots on goal on the power play out of all players in the whl, though, regardless of position.

he has the highest points per game % of any dman in the WHL (last time i checked...it's about 1.5?) and among all players with 15+ games he's still top ten.

in 13 games with the blazers he has 23 points.

"that's just the WHL" well, he also just won back to back gold at world juniors, so there's that! while getting named a top dman and player and being one of the top scoring dmen in world juniors history.

but say you aren't a stats folk. say you want analysis of his skating and shooting and various other aspects of his actual play. i can give you that! oh, also, some video, just for the heck of it.

he is literally always in motion. if he's on the ice, he's skating and making plays. i've never watched a kamloops game and been unable to tell if olen was on the ice, because if he is, you'll know.

his zone entries are as good as any forwards - he's often called a 'one man zone entry machine', which is well earned. his ability to transition through the zones with ease is insane. (i'm nothing if not a provider of video links few will click on)(this goal is good though, so i would rec clicking this)

his compete level is insane as well and he just - never stops. he's always involved, in every zone. he's extremely talented defensively and he's so solid and strong.

his passing is fantastic (with video proof, of course)(one in team canada colours, sure, why not) and his stick handling is disgusting. like his hands? filthy. (as always, video proof ) he has a great shot (here) (here) (here) and, like i mentioned, he has a lot of those.

and his skating oh my god. do you want poetry, anon? his crossovers and edgework...well here's a video or two if you want to truly appreciate his skating. maybe another for fun.

some fun videos to really hammer home my point.

so, anon, yes he is cute, but most definitely he is good at hockey.

also his body looks like this

so that's fun. not the point and if u want my feelings about him as a person you'll have to ask that separately.

[castlebyersafterdark]

Shock Jock ep title is ruined for me because of all our chat about jockstraps lol

and also my brain keeps correcting camazotz to camatotz and i cant stop picturing a tater totz stand from some kind of camelot-esque medieval renn faire. which ofc leads back to jockstraps because of you. gosh darn it

HAHAHA I HAVE TO BE HONEST I SAW THE NAME SHOCK JOCK CONFIRMED AND I THOUGHT HMMM I HOPE I RUINED THIS FOR SEVERAL HUNDRED VERY SPECIFIC PEOPLE. LOVE YALL.

I am deeeeelighted 🤭🤭🤭 Oh, and same. I cannot pretend to understand how to pronounce that word. Cameltoes. Camelot totz. Calamazoo.

[yutazenn]

.

[crymeariveronceagain]

If the world was ending, would they try to stop it?

Sophie Foster: Yes. Of course. Is this even a question? She'd die for anyone. She'd kill for anyone. It's the only way to live, anyhow.

Keefe Sencen: Not anymore. If the world was ending, he'd go home, and simply let it.

Fitz Vacker: probably. He'd never be able to forgive himself if he didn't try, right?

Biana Vacker: No. If the world is ending. The world is ending. Are you not content to enjoy your last few moments of life?

Tam Song: No. Let the world fend for itself. Let it fight its own battles. He's done. It's useless, anyways.

Linh Song: Yes. She'd bite her tongue about how useless it is, this is the end of time, the end of reality, and yet. She would make the last few hours worth it to whoever's around to see it.

Marella Redek: absolutely not. The world has never done her a single favor. Why would she ever fight to defend it.

Dex Dizznee: Yes. There is something in him that pushes him forward to fight for the good in the world, even as it falls to pieces around him.

Stina Heks: Yes. She'll complain the whole time, but she is loyal, and deep down, she's terrified of what's coming next. She'll fight to her last breath to stop the world from ending.

Maruca Chebota: Yes. But only because she doesn't want to do nothing.

Glimmer Alenefar: Yes. Her heart's too big for her body. And, really. She can't accept the fact that the world is going to end.

Wylie Endal: no. He's going home. It's been too long a life already, and he's only 24.

[regardingregulusblack]

When is a monster not a monster?

“I read something, the other day,”

“Hm?”

“Poetry.”

“Obviously.” Regulus shoved his brother at that.

“Remember when you used to sing me to sleep?”

“Well, I don’t know about singing, but…” Sirius says with a chuckle.

“No, you did. I’m not teasing you about it.”

“Uh, okay, yeah, I remember. What about it?”

Regulus is lost in thought, looking at the puddle growing at the bottom step of the set of stairs both brothers are perched on.

“Most nights I don’t sleep. I can’t, it’s like my eyes refuse to stay closed, and my mind can’t find one thing to stay focused on. It’s either blank, or overcrowded,” Regulus admits, fingers fiddling with the lace of his right shoe. Sirius is waiting patiently, silent as the night sky, in fear of stopping this trail of thought.

Regulus continues after a few seconds, “Sometimes I remember how easily I used to fall asleep with you humming next to me.”

And Sirius turns his head from his brother, hand reaching up to scrub the tears from his eyes. The ever-present lump he’s had living in his throat since he’s been sat with his little brother feels like it doubles in size, and he’s never ached to wrap anyone up this tightly before. To sing him to sleep.

“But the poem I found the other day asked, ‘when is a monster not a monster?’.”

“Reg, you’re not-“

“When you used to sing it to sleep.” Regulus finished. And it was a few seconds after, seconds filled with Sirius fighting that lump away again, that Sirius finished his previous words.

“You’re not a monster, Reg.”

“But that’s exactly my point: you wouldn’t say I’m a monster. You wouldn’t say it, don’t believe it, because when I was that age, the age where you could still sing me to sleep, I wasn’t a monster. How could I be? I was a child. So were you. But now… Now I’m an adult, and everything I’ve done has had intentions behind it.”

“You’re hardly an adult, Regulus. You’re sixteen, for Merlin’s sake.”

Regulus just shrugged, “Still.”

“All right, so you’re a monster. You’re a monster, because- because of what, Reg? Because you’re sixteen and don’t have your shit together yet? What fucking teenager does?”

“It’s not just-“ Regulus’ words fell short.

“Pandora was flipping through one of those muggle magazines the other day, and they had a section on celebrities describing themselves in one word. And the only word that came to mind when I thought about how I felt about myself, was awful. Because I am. And I know I am, because the only person I have left is my blood brother who most spends most of his days trying to disassociate himself from his biological family… And that includes me, so.”

Sirius knows no matter how often he tries to remind the younger of the two that his leaving had nothing to do with Regulus was a futile attempt at consoling him. Because he doesn’t believe it, has never believed it, and probably won’t ever, either. So instead of being on the defence against his own life choices, he’d try and defend his brother’s.

“You’ve fallen out with Pandora before. You’ve made up with her before, also.”

“Not like this, Siri.” And Regulus’ defeated look is like a pin to the heart.

“Your friends, they’re not going to… understand the way you are, not fully. Not when they didn’t grow up in the same house we did- not when they’re still in the same house you are.”

“I can’t just use that as an excuse-“

“It’s not an excuse, it’s part of an explanation. Do you know how long it took Remus to understand why I do half the shit I do? And he’s one of the smartest people I know.”

Regulus seemed tired, his answers no longer in defence of his own beliefs and just staying silent.

Sirius didn’t know if that was good or bad.

“You need to talk to people, Reg. You can’t just expect them to understand, especially when they don’t know the whole story. And you need to apologise, even if it burns your pride and goes against everything Maman and Papa told you.”

“You’re not a monster, Reg. You’re my little brother.”