#you'd get a '12' and it's me--
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@stillresolved | ♥
Eunjae is not the kind of person who makes others smile. It's not an inability to do so, it's... they simply don't. They don't put in the effort, they don't care to figure out what drags fondness or humour or even derision out of those around them.
That does not mean, however, that they're particularly against the notion of receiving a smile in response to their words. Especially if it's someone like Annie. They consider it a miracle alone, to see those corners turn upwards for once.
"It'd definitely be more interesting," maybe that's why they indulge - a soft, gone as it came, puckering of their lips as their instincts still them from smiling back - as opposed to how quick they are to usually 'hm' their way out of a conversation. Really gets a rise out of people, that non-committal 'hm'.
It's such a shame one of the few people they'd actually grant words to, is someone they can only see on official business.
"If we're lucky... something big and scary is swimming around there, just waiting for us to provoke it into killing us," like a proper revolt.
"... Didn't think you'd still be interested in water."
#stillresolved#the social worker;eunjae#the social worker;strong is the will;hunger games verse#i had this goofy writer's block of sorts and this is the first thing i wrote when i sat down to fight it i LVOE annIE DARN IT#GOSH IMAGINE IF /YOU/ POSTED ONE-LINERS Ferre..... Ferre i'd be in your notifs so often#you'd get a '12' and it's me--#thank you for indulging my cookies THANK YOU FOR LIKING EUNJAE#thank you for throwing Annie at them bc full offense Eunjae would like her a lot okay like--#i'm posting this later once i've babbled about hungy games depresso verse eunjae but >:33333#;queue#btw i wasn't kidding this is the first thing i wrote after my hiatus and i'm only queueing it so late because i was biting my nails#about the hungy games au KLDJSGLJSGDFKLGJHGL
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did anyone else ever catch this??? he treats a beverage like a finger food. not only is he picking out ice to munch on it like a snack, he's also savoring the lemon garnish.
allow me to reach peak insanity at 3 am type beat here– this actually reflects a lot about asa's character, especially regarding how he treats those around him.
don't go too crazy on me now he might just like to munch on ice and lemon slices–
BUT it fits the atmosphere of the scene since the guy is quite literally consuming mitzi, or what is left of her. which takes form in either taunting her with the remnants of atlas' death or taking jabs at her character.
there's some aspect of gluttony here. as in, despite what he claims to believe, he still sees mitzi as a hurdle to be dealt with. which is why he's been trying to convince, or let's say weed her out of the industry.
we can reflect this back on the 20s in general and how history tends to write women off their very pivotal role in the bootlegging business.
or i mean maybe im just entertaining my past in literature class because... as mitzi says herself: only asa can explain asa
#i took a nap from 6 to 12 so you'd imagine what my brain is looking like rn#absolute GOOP#honestly most of this is just me shitting out nonsensical notes on my phone#but hey i wanna get back into literary analysis#jeez haven't heard THAT one in a while WOOF#Anyways i will probably make a bigger asa post bc he intrigues me very much#let me know if thats smth you'd like to see!!#asa sweet#mitzi may#atlas may#lackadaisy#lackadaisy cats#xan: rambling
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shout out to all of us who relate heavily to stolas for being baby faced and short
#cliffnotes/.txt#whb#whb spoilers#*im assuming the part in the third one is supposed to say 'this is just what *i'm* like '#considering a) typos arent rare im p sure they have a v small translation team b) the devils do transform but like.#i dont think they really pick their human forms any more than a regular human does. thats just how he grew up to look#and as somebody who is (legally) 5'3 bc the lady bumped me up half an inch#and constantly being told i look 12 when im 22 (even getting this from younger cousins)#god i feel you stolas#also pleasantly surprised to see how stolas is less rash than you'd think initially#this does not save him from being a complete goober when next to amon and naberius bu they make a very good trio
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oh you're not meant to feel constantly exhausted are you and you're not meant to ignore it either are you
#there is a tiredness that has followed me like a dog since i was 12#alexis ness core#uhmmm yeah you'd never realise it bc im actually pretty bouncy in person#its not forced but there's an effort to being like that that doesn't come naturally like i want it to#oh no the consequences of childhood mental illness and having shitty joints is very predictably catching up with me#sounds expensive! get ignored!#bue waffling
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n*loth's mind got rewired to fruit-salad-thoughts-abt-t*lvas Mode the moment he slapped him like a bitch and t*lvas didn't even have anything to say to dat. he's in such obedient Doormat mode that all he can do is turn his face in disdain away like a damsel and tear up a little bit why am i talking li8ke this actually happened, let me cook though
#text#it's cause i wanna draw this but don't get around to it i literally spend all night thinking of this#abuse //#I GUESS#don't give the person that cares too much about the intricacies of abusive pairings... Ummm.. nel/vas#T*LVAS MY DELICATE QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENahAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGG#he'd run out to cry about it and be like Wow it's crazy how nonchalant master n*loth is about putting his hands on me 🙄🙄#he cares.. but not in a good way; now he wants to tear your skin open to see how you'd react#hurl#i think t*lvas would just be very professional about it he'd be like (getting mistreated) Okay then 😊#i didn't enchant this staff right so n*loth locked me in a dark basement for 12 hours (said casually)#n*loth would find this trait literally perfect#t*lvas' focus on staying very formal would play into his obliviousness too lol#whatever i don't even ccare Also talking about them on a wednesday should be banned for me but okay
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welp . due to "unforeseen" circumstances, imma have to leave my toxic ass household :D
#like lolllll who is surprised#i just didn't think i'd potentially have lesser of a relationship w my sibling bc of it#but it is what it is#idk what it is about male-centered women standing behind their man when they're manipulative violent assholes#but again - how can i really blame a victim like i get it ig ur in a hostage situation yourself babe#anyways. idk where my dad got this bat from but i got it in my room just in case someone wants to put their hands on me again#mind you - my situation is literally so easily solvable but bc these ppl are stubborn ...#like. the entitlement is crazy idk#like u want me to be down in the basement with YOUR kids that u neglect and don't even watch#and get mad when i set ground rules for them to follow? which is cleaning up after themselves???? oh brother#like you would think you'd wanna be down here to monitor ur kids but nooooo#they literally want the room upstairs and it was *decided* before we moved in (i didnt even have a chance jdksks)#and they want it bc they want to be far away from their own kids as possible.... like yalls actions are shitty.#imagine if i did ts to them where I have kids - I have them near you - and I DO NOTHING to parent them . thats a frustrating situation for#anybody i feel like ??#and before we moved - i DID have the upstairs like woopty doo ig nicer ofc and they were STEADYYYY trying to get me out of that room#(mind you - i have lived there since i was 12/13 and they came wayyy after)#like ... r u kidding me lolololol u want authority so bad over a basement ur not even in anymore#like mind u im not trying to overstep and be their parent ? ik im not . im just their auntie#its just so wilddddd to me they dont see how silly this is?#like maybe im wrong ? but having ur kids stay downstairs when ur upstairs was already off to me. like bffr u want them kids out your face#and u tryna pass them off to me and it's not subtle. but then get mad when i say smth abt behavior OH BROTHERRRRR#but anyways. the straw that broke the camels back was the fact this ngga spit on me. AND then put his hands on me. like omg???#i wanna break his shit so bad w this bat but chile....that is not productive and that is not me#but the rage i have omgggg. i wanna cus its like?? fuck you. ur literally an ABUSERRR idgaf about ur feelings btch.#chatter
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this is simultaneously both romantic and unsettling. exactly as it should be
#this whole ost is SO GOOD#if you'd told 12 y/o me that we'd be getting this#i wouldn't have believed you#god it's so perfect#percy jackson#walker scobell#annabeth chase#leah sava jeffries#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo tv show#pjo tv spoilers#isoceratops#Spotify
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Day 11!
Riding home at night from my grandparent's house while playing new games my ds was the peak holiday experience.
#espy art#beecember#no snow here because we don't get that stuff here#it's cold outside i promise#and it's colder than you'd think too#i'm running out of juice with this series#and idk i think i misstimed something#cause i thought stuff was supposed to align better#i thought if i drew 12 the last one would post on the 24th#but it's mathing out that the last one's a day early#i double checked everything so i think it's just me being bad at math#so idk might draw a special 13th#but i might not#ive got a lot of other stuff that needs to be done
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that thing she does when shes like "it's like cars. wait you dont have cars. like horses then" the doctor should do that more often but with things that are alien to the modern day viewer. making comparisons to things from 2078 and getting blank stares and going "wait. too early. uhhhh" and then making a modern comparison. or then making a comparison thats a couple of years out of date like first they make a reference to something 2078 and ruby goes "what" and then they go "i mean ipod" and ruby goes "what" and they go "oh forget it this is taking more time than if i just described it"
#just alienate the modern day viewer a bit more im begging you#make them speak like 7 decades of slang at once#make them make pop culture references from the 1830s#make them make jokes that would only play well in like where they lived as a vestal virgin#just make them incomprehensible but really smooth and casual about it#just make the viewer feel like the companion must#you know the way yaz says 'THANK you' in 13x6 when she explains about the retrocausal manifestations or smth?#the eXASPERATION#make me feel relieved when the doctor for once says an entire sentence that i understand#you'd still be able to follow the meaning from context anyway#it'd be really fun!#like imagine if instead of ed sheeran in 11x4 she'd have said like. idk. some popular music guy from the 90s wouldnt that be funny#i meani get why she said ed sheeran 12 mustve heard so much ed sheeran stuff#but you get the idea
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Got my employment contract and it sounds so annoying already
#im selling my body and soul to serve the company#for minimum wage#and there's some really sloppy mistakes in there too#they didn't even get the paragraphs in order#they go 9 10 11 12 11 14#get it together#and one paragraph just says 'the employee has to undergo an exam upon request' and while this is infuriating enough#someone didn't even proofread that sentence because it doesn't make any sense grammatically#and the beginning and the end of the sentence don't match#you'd either have to adjust the beginning or leave out a word in the end in order to make sense#and that's currently bothering me the most because wtf this is a legal document and you cannot even proofread it#if i make an mistake like this im sure id get some very angry feedback#also decided that i don't want the job badly enough to undergo anything i deem unnecessary#im sure it's nothing dramatic but if they wanna do something i don't want ill accept getting fired lol#also gotta inquire about whether it's okay for me to have another mini job in April and May or if they're against it#('the employee has to dedicate their entire work performance to the company and has to get permission to have any#other paid or unpaid (!) commitments including volunteer work')#(what. should i also ask whether i can function as a 'buddy' for international students since it's a commitment and not technically#free time?? (i understand the not having other paid jobs part but UNPAID stuff? like it's any of their business. killing them honestly)#anyway#i'll shut up now#(my mother has been feeling sick and last year this also ended up in Me throwing up for 3 days straight#and guess what#i can see how tonight is gonna go ♡ i will be complaining ♡ (not me literally wishing for something like this when i had my#little ed relapse recently. im sorry body. i take it back. this sucks so bad i do not actually want it)#vois screams
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oh don't mind me, just crying about malevolent even though i'm nowhere near caught up
just...before john found his name, when he and arthur were still constantly butting heads and not getting along, arthur still took to calling him "friend..." he still called him friend are you hearing me right now!!! aaaaagh!!!!
#GOD. GOD OKAY#malevolent#friday chats#i'm shaking them both like glowsticks#arthur lester#john doe#i love media that prioritizes platonic relationships!!! and i love them!!!!!!#i'm about at part 12 i think? arthur just admitted he trusts john and john replied smth like 'that's going to get you killed'#and the thing is i don't think he means that in an 'i'm going to take advantage of that' kind of way#it sounded like he meant it in an 'i don't know why you'd do that. i could easily hurt you. i *have* hurt you. why trust me?' kind of way#and i just. *gestures wildly at Them* do you get it. please tell me you get it
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I'm in so much pain it's embarrassing. I'm going to look back on these memories of me writhing alone too afraid to sleep biting my knuckles crying about nothing and laugh.
#It's not nothing but it kind of breaks the rhythm and sound repetition to rephrase it as ptsd nightmares dunnit#Okay so the good thing is I am no longer emotionally constipated.#The bad thing is now I can cry and also I haven't felt joy and safety in forever 😐😐#You'd think work would distract me but no! Just sitting in barn staring at horses biting each other and thinking holy shit I'm depressed#I'm so broken that while I was crying last night I felt an urge to go to my parents' room and cry to them#Like holy shit what is wrong with me#No amount of possible comfort from my dad is worth the screaming and disgust from my mom#We had a 'talk' about my mental health aka me avoiding the subject entirely and them going yep you are fine and also you're disgusting#Shave your legs you're making everybody sick and that's why you have no friends#But I did bring up the possibility of me needing to see a psychiatrist#Because of you know the ptsd#But as always they were like 'you were at that school for three months cmon it couldn't have changed your life'#Woman. Sir. I was 12 my brain was still new and I was just gaining sentience#And as soon as I became my own person I get held to a chair and beaten up like in a fuckin gangster movie#Forced to get naked in a room with hateful little girls laughing at me for getting beat up#Who all think I'm a dangerous predator lesbian who's going to kidnap them despite being 12 and 4'8 and#those little girls talked about how they wish their hot stepbrothers would touch them#But I was the predator because I had short hair :(( ?????#It's always my fault for getting beaten up and my fault for people wanting me dead and being disgusted with my existence#I was beaten up because I was annoying I was s/a'd because I was ugly I was abandoned because I was and am repulsive#Man#Fuck the guy who said he would rescue me from this and didn't. I'm not just magically not being abused now that I don't talk to you anymore#In fact it's so much worse enduring abuse when you don't have any friends to talk with or escape to isn't it!!! That's weird huh!!!!!!
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a lot of you probably knows Belphie's story, but I'll summarize just in case.
Devon Rex cats are better for people with allergies (less shed fur + less Fel d1 protein in their saliva), so on February 16, 2024, I went the breeder route and put down a deposit. before Belphie even opened his eyes, he was mine!
every Friday, the breeder sent me a new photo. I had a broken leg, and was basically rotting in bed at that point, so it was the best part of my week. then, at 12 weeks old, I BROUGHT HIM HOME!
at first, he was so alive! like a wind-up monkey that never shut off. he dangled from the wall-hangings, savaged my feet as I walked, and used my elderly cats as jumping poles to do cool acrobatics over. but all this gradually faded.
first, he stopped playing. then he stopped climbing. then he stopped moving much at all. my vet ran tests on him and found multiple pathogens (calcivrius + mycoplasma), but the medication didn't help - he kept declining.
on September 17th, I woke up to find him swollen like a balloon. we finally had an answer: he had Feline infectious Peritonitis, aka FIP. before 2017, this would've been a death sentence. he would've kept bloating until he drowned in his own fluids. and before 2024, I would've been forced to inject him with black market drugs. but thankfully, South Tower Animal Hospital in Fergus, Ontario was doing a study on the oral medication! we drove two hours, enrolled him, and left with the GS-441524 pills.
and he went from those photos above.....to this:
I thought Belphie would die as a kitten. I'd accepted that he would never grow up. but now he gets to LIVE!
and all for the low cost of $7,553.....ahhhahaha........god.
that + a recent home disaster has wiped out my savings, but I still need to pay for Belphie's medication. to remain in this study, I need to do bloodwork monthly until Feb 2025, and he'll need daily pills until March 2025.
I've put a risograph print + enamel pin set up at greerstothers.shop. I hate asking for help, but if you'd like to support Belphie's continued treatment, please consider checking them out!
#belphegor#I'm sorry that I don't have a printed version of the risograph to show you!#it's still in the process of being made#the digital preview doesn't do it justice - it will have a texture akin to pointillism and the yellow + pink inks will be practically neon
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Ok guys I'm revealing my secret of how I keep myself a functional alcoholic instead of falling into crippling alcoholic territory
These are my rules:
Never start drinking before the sun goes down ( exception of 1 carbonated beverage sipped slowly) // OR never start drinking after 11am if I'm working a nightshift job
get responsibilities done beforehand, at the very least before getting into "absolutely plastered" territory.
eat a decent meal after / while drinking (I can't get myself to beforehand bc "it'll ruin it" sooooo)
DO NOT drink (or smoke weed) for at least 10 hours before a therapy session, or at least 5 hours before meeting with someone you wish to keep an amicable relationship with
under no circumstances operate a vehicle until it's been 12 hours past your last drink. Get a ride or call in sick for work. Its always better to get fired from a job than to murder somebody else with a 10-tonne vehicle
Moderate yourself while in the company of others. That way, they don't catch on.
Lock your doors and turn off your cellphone. Do not contact anyone while drinking unless they are aware of your situation. Do not leave your home/bedroom
Use water as a chaser not some bullshit sugary fruit juice or some shit. Staying hydrated when drinking is so important. Helps with hangovers too. Eating salty foods can help balance electrolytes as well
#blues drunk rants#Found this in my drafts idk why I never posted it it's low-key a banger post#Also my therapist told me last week that I should eat something a WHOLE HOUR before drinking to keep my body from being chemically dependen#I'm not gonna do that but it's important information#BTW this is all assuming you'd be binge drinking/getting drunk all the time. I just didn't wanna specify that on every rule#Like don't drive 12 hours past your last drink assuming you had a large amount of drinks so it will take that long to be sober#Idk use common sense
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haters will have you believe that revel aren't close but in reality they literally treat each other like sisters. by which i mean they would give a kidney for each other in a heartbeat but also they would actually just rather die than say something genuinely nice to each other undiluted by ten layers of sarcasm and one million roasts.
#mine#besides joy she can be a big softie. and surprisingly seulgi recently bc the 10 year nostalgia has been getting her ass#but wenreneri? unbelievably emotionally constipated tsunderes. they're so funny i love them#no but really tho like literally anyone with decent ability to read the room can tell they're close lmfao they're just lowkey about it#but that makes it seem more genuine imo? like that's what convinces me it's not a performative closeness they do for the fans#bc they seem to just act like i do with my cousins or long time closest friends idk. it's that kinda vibe#listen you don't make it to ten years (like 12-13 including predebut) together without a strong bond and a whole lot of trust#when i see ppl try to hate on rv by calling them 'coworkers' i have to remind myself they're probably a kid with no life exp lol#bro do you have any idea how swimmingly you have to get along with someone to work with them for 10-13 YEARS#as PERFORMERS no less. look how close any performing group (broadway cast/figure skaters/idk) who've worked with each other for 10 years is#if there's beef or drama or bad vibes there's literally no way you'd last that long as seen in many many such cases
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Tfw your town has finally got a car boot again every sunday and you managed to find someone selling various dolls for cheaper prices then Ebay would do.
#where i live our towns regular car boot died years ago as it became a ghost town over time#like last time we went to it before it died there were barley cars selling stuff#but this car park they used is in position where they wanna take it down for flats#but havent in fucking years#so they allowed another towns car boot to take over it for now#as that towns car boot lost their car park spot after it was closed down for some new building stuff#and that car boot always had a shit ton of stuff so uh there was alot this car boot as a result#including dolls like there were so many cars and ahh i would have gone broke knowing me if i had access to all my money#but i managed to get stuff including these#aka £10 each#would have grabbed one of their rainbow highs...if i liked the looks of any of the ones they had#but uh they had one EAH...so i got it#which is funny since i do not like apple...#then again i also got mal but like i dont mind her in D1...its D2 onwards i dont like her lol#and also i forgot i had £2 in my pocket as i didnt have a purse so my pocket became that and if i had remembered that#i would have grabbed the £12 carlos lmao#robecca is one i've been after for ages but i had to order her boot and a skirt thing on ebay for her...no sign of her goggles yet sigh#i did find a non-pictured tinkerbell but ehhh not sure why i brought her beyond i knew it was tinkerbell lol#then again i also grabbed a small toy i recognized from when i was a kid but its a lil broken so i wasnt thinking lol#you'd think with not much room i wouldnt buy more dolls#but i've gotten so far two eah dolls i found for cheap on ebay so like....aka briar and legacy day maddie...
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