#you’re very kind to take the time to explain

[juniperskye]

I Can’t Do This.

Sneak peek: Reader is recently off of a long-term undercover operation (similar to Emily’s) that left her in a bad way. Director Cruz reaches out, assigning her to the BAU. After speaking to her therapist and expressing her concerns, they come up with a solution of how to inform her new boss of some of the horrors she endured on her mission. Hotch keeps a close eye on her, being careful not to trigger her…until one day, he accidentally does in the worst way. ITALLICS ARE FLASHBACKS! BOLD ARE THERAPY SESSIONS.

Aaron Hotchner x (Fem) BAU! Reader

Angst/Fluff

Word count: 5605

REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!

Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI,YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN MEDIA CONSUMPTION. age gap (reader is in their 20’s and Hotch is in his 40’s), explicit language, mention of canon typical violence, mention of therapy, reader attends regular therapy sessions, mention of a toxic previous “relationship”, mention of a previous dom/sub dynamic, murder, talk of trafficking, forced consent (reader is working the undercover op) mention of previous abuse and manipulation, some use of y/n, Hotch accidentally triggering the reader, let me know if I missed anything!

I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.

“Y/n it has been three months since you returned from your undercover op, it’s time. The BAU needs an additional agent, and you’d make a great addition. It’s really not up for discussion.” Director Cruz ended with finality.

“I really don’t think I am ready. Director Cruz, I know it has been three months, and you guys have been so gracious with the paid leave, but I’m still working through everything I went through when I was under.” You explained.

“Your therapist and the FBI issued psych eval have both cleared you to return y/n. You’re joining the BAU. You’ll begin next Monday.” Cruz decided.

“Okay.”

With that you stood and exited his office. It’s not that you didn’t want to work for the BAU, in fact, under normal circumstances you’d have been begging for this placement. But after everything you endured while undercover, you weren’t sure you could handle being on a team, especially not one run by Aaron Hotchner.

--

“You were recommended to me by Sheri, did she tell you anything about me?” He questioned.

“She mentioned you were looking for someone who knew how to follow rules.” You answered.

You had been assigned to an undercover operation in which a very powerful man would finally be brought to justice. Emilio Alvatorre, one of FBI’s most wanted. This man did unspeakable things and lucky for you, he was in the market for a new submissive. Normally the FBI wouldn’t jump at putting an agent in this kind of situation, however, in this case Emilio was known to keep his subs knelt at his side in his office. That would mean that you would be privilege to information that could take him down.

“So, are you good at following rules?” Emilio said in a voice meant to be sexy, but it was truly repulsive.

Leaning in to whisper in his ear, “The best.”

--

“I’m worried that Agent Hotchner is going to give me a directive and that I will follow it whether I agree with it or not. I am terrified that I have completely lost myself, and that I will just blindly follow.” You explained.

“Y/n we’ve talked about this, you are strong, you are capable of making decisions and speaking up for yourself.”

“Yeah but being at the BAU with Agent Hotchner, he’s a very commanding and dominant man, what if I fall right back into…” You trailed off.

“He is commanding and dominant, but he isn’t Emilio. I am going to give you some homework, and then I’d like to see you again on Thursday so we can go over it before you join the BAU Monday.”

“You’re right. What’s the homework?” You asked.

“I want you to first come up with a list of coping strategies for when you begin to feel anxious or overwhelmed on the job. Then I want you to write a letter to read to Agent Hotchner giving him some insight as to what you have been through.”

“Absolutely not! Sylvia I can’t do that!”

“Y/n I am not asking you to give him all the details, just a little bit that might help him to know you.”

“Fine.”

--

You had a hard time figuring out what to put in the letter to Agent Hotchner, debating what was too much versus what was too little to say. How much did he need to know, how much were you comfortable sharing…it was all becoming a bit much.

Ultimately, you’d written something up along with a perfect list of coping strategies that you knew would satisfy your therapist.

After meeting with her on Thursday and going over what you came up with, and allowing her to help you tweak a few things, your body filled with dread, anxiously awaiting Monday morning when you’d have to go into the BAU.

--

Director Cruz escorted you to the floor that houses the BAU, bringing you into Agent Hotchner’s office for introductions. You felt like you had just walked out on a stage completely naked with the way all the other agents were looking at you.

“Hotchner, this is Agent y/n. I sent over her file last week. She is going to start with the BAU today.” Director Cruz announced.

“Yes, I saw your email. It is nice to finally meet you.” Agent Hotchner greeted.

“Y/n would you excuse us for just a moment, I’d like to speak to Hotch here.”

Without another word you followed the director’s order. You stepped out of the office and stood patiently waiting for their conversation to end.

--

“She’s anxious.” Spencer mumbled.

“Wouldn’t you be?” Emily replied.

“No, look at her, she’s digging her nails into her palms, a light sweat has broken out on her neck, her heartrate has increased slightly, and she hasn’t looked up at us once. She’s probably suffering from severe anxiety.” Spencer rambled.

“Don’t profile the newbie Spence.” Emily scolded, patting his shoulder.

--

“Alright, y/n go on in and Hotch will fill you in on what his expectations for you are.” Director Cruz headed off.

With a light knock, you awaited Agent Hotchner’s approval before entering his office once again. Mentally chastising yourself for your submissive actions.

“Agent y/n, please, have a seat.” Hotch gestured.

You sat in one of the chairs across from him.

“It says here in your file that you’re recently returning from a twelve-month assignment. I noticed the assignment isn’t labeled as classified, but quite a bit of it was redacted. Can you speak on that at all?” Hotch inquired.

“Agent Hotchner, if it is okay with you, I have somethings I’d like to discuss. Some of which is relevant of that case, but it is primarily regarding the effects that case had on me.”

“Go ahead.” Hotch nodded.

“The undercover op I was working put me in a position in which I was forced and manipulated to blindly following directions from someone. I had to do this for twelve months, and since then, I have had a pretty hard time finding my voice again. Certain things can be triggering for me, so I wrote up some things for you, with the help of my therapist. There are coping strategies that I may need to utilize and there are somethings there for you, to navigate situations that may come up.” You were worried that this was all going to lead to Hotch doubting your ability to do this job. “I also want to make it known that I told the Director that I wasn’t ready to return to work.”

“Thank you for sharing this, I think it’ll help me to make your transition back to work smooth. As for you being ready, I think you sharing that information shows a lot about your strength and I think you are more than ready to be here.”

--

“Kneel.” Emilio ordered with a snap of his fingers.

You slowly dropped to your knees, sitting back on your heels and resting your palms on the tops of your thighs, your gaze focused on the frayed rug that covered the hardwood floor in front of you.

“Bring him in.” Emilio spoke into the intercom that connects him to his security.

The guards drag in a man who appears to be near death, clearly beaten. Emilio rests a hand on your head, gently petting your hair before speaking in a tone you don’t recognize.

“I heard you’ve been snooping around. Talking to Jeremy and his guys.” Emilio spat.

“I haven’t sir I swear!” The man was begging for his life.

“I don’t like snakes.” Emilio raised his gun and shot the man point blank.

You couldn’t help but flinch at the sound. A strong hand was quick to grip your chin.

“Flinching is a sign of weakness. I can’t have a pet that is weak.” His grip tightened “Are you weak?”

“No sir.” You reassured.

“Good.”

--

Working with the BAU had been going well, Hotch had truly been incredible. He’d encouraged you to share your thoughts and theories while on cases. He also reminded you to use your coping strategies when the cases became particularly overwhelming.

Like today for example. The team was working on a case that was taking a toll on you, mentally and emotionally. Women were being kidnapped then brutally tortured and left for dead in the street. It was becoming increasingly difficult to detach yourself from what these women must’ve been feeling.

Hotch was quick to notice the change in your demeanor and he made it a point to assign you with Spencer at the precinct. You were tightening up the victimology while Spencer worked on the geographical profile. You had come to the conclusion that the unsub was targeting victims primarily on their looks, they had all been of similar height, had same color hair and eyes. Worse than that…they all kind of looked like you. The sound of Derek and Emily approaching made your stomach sink. Spencer had clearly picked up on your anxiety since you’d been with the BAU, but the others, not so much.

“Hey guys, what did you find out?” Emily inquired.

“Well, I’ve narrowed down the geographical profile. This area right here…” Spencer gesture to the map covering the screen “this is his comfort zone, all the abductions and dumpsites fall within this five-block radius.”

“What about you new girl?” Derek nudged you gently.

“I looked into all the victims, and they all were approximately the same height and build, same color hair and eyes. I spoke to Penelope; she confirmed that all of the women frequented the same coffee shop.” You explained.

Hotch, Rossi, and JJ all entered just in time to hear Derek confirm your thoughts…which led to a suggestion that made your heart sink.

“Y/n these girls all kind of look like you...” Derek walks over to where their pictures are pinned up to the board. “Maybe we should send you to the coffee shop undercover. It could help us find this guy.”

You heart was pounding, causing a loud whooshing sound to drown out your hearing. You closed your fists and dug your nails into your palms. You could feel the sweat breaking out along your forehead.

In and out…deep breaths. You reminded yourself of the coping strategies you’d come up with for instances like this. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven…

“Absolutely not!” Hotch commanded, shaking you from your thoughts while simultaneously distracting the others from your very obvious panic attack.

“Hotch man come on! She fits the victimology perfectly; it could end this case if she could catch his attention.” Derek argued.

“It’s not up for discussion. I will not send a new agent undercover, not until she is more comfortable on this team. Undercover ops like that require a significant level of trust, one that she may not have yet.” Hotch shut Derek down.

“We know he must go to this coffee shop; JJ and I could go in and watch. Keep an eye out for a man acting suspicious.” Emily suggested.

“Good, first thing tomorrow.” Hotch said before dismissing the team for the evening.

--

“Sir, is it safe to be talking about this…with her here?”

“Are you questioning me?” Emilio sneered. “My pet is well behaved. I wouldn’t have her here if I thought otherwise. Who are you to question my decisions?” His voice raised.

“I’m sorry sir! I didn’t mean to insinuate anything. I just wasn’t sure.”

“Don’t let it happen again. Now I’ll ask again. What is the update on the shipment?” Emilio demanded.

“There are going to be three crates in the shipping container. The boat is set to anchor Friday at midnight.”

“And everything we were promised will be there?” Emilio asked.

“Well, not the girls. This shipment is just the weapons.”

“Excuse me?” Emilio’s expression turned sinister.

You were knelt by his desk like always. This conversation had been one you were banking on; it was hopefully going to allow your team to pick him and his associates up. Only, this conversation had taken a turn that you weren’t expecting. His shipments thus far had only contained drugs and weapons, so why was he asking about girls?

“I was assured that everything would be included. How fucking hard is it to follow orders?” Emilio shouted, his fist slamming onto his desk.

You sat still, silently taking in the situation. That night you’d check in with your team and fill them in on the new information. You just needed to get the logistics of when the second shipment would arrive, and honestly, you were scared Emilio would kill this guy before you got that information.

“I know boss. They told me that the girls would be here soon. There was an issue getting paperwork for some of them. But it should all be worked out now.”

“I need a date and time. By the end of the day. Otherwise, you’re done.” Emilio hissed. He then brushed his hand over your head. “C’mon pet, let’s go to bed. And you, I’ll be expecting your call.”

Going to bed with Emilio had initially been the worst part of this assignment. Thankfully he’d had you STD tested which meant you were both clean, and he’d ensured you received birth control shots. The sex had surprised you; you had expected it to be rough and painful but, it had been soft and gentle. Emilio whispered sweet nothings to you, and he held you close, and he’d carefully bathe you afterwards.

It may be sick and twisted…but it didn’t bother you, having sex with him.

--

A light knock at your door had startled you. You made your way over to check the peephole, and there he was waiting patiently.

“Hotch, is everything okay?”

“I should be asking you that. Morgan was out of line suggesting we send you in.”

“It’s okay, really. He doesn’t know any better.”

Hotch gave you a sympathetic look. You could tell he was doing everything in his power not to profile you. You appreciated his effort, and it truly was endearing. Around Hotch, you’d started to feel more comfortable around him and his consistent care of you and your mental health had been the thing that drew you in. He cared so much, and it meant the world to you.

“You seemed nervous earlier, does that have to do with the undercover assignment you worked?”

“Yes.”  You sighed.

In the last two months of being with the BAU, you and Hotch had been teetering this fine line of coworkers and more. It wasn’t necessarily leaning toward something romantic, at least that’s what you were both trying to convince yourselves of but, it had definitely become a friendship. Hotch had allowed you a safe space in which you were starting to feel like yourself again. He had never pushed you for information about your past and he continuously checked in with you to make sure you were comfortable and okay. More recently though, as things like what happened today occurred, you have felt like maybe you should tell Hotch a little more about what you endured.

“You know, if you ever want to talk about it, I am here for you. I don’t want you to feel pressured or like you have to tell me anything! But if you should choose, I’d listen.” Hotch admitted.

“I was sent in undercover to investigate Emilio Alvatorre…” You began.

“Emilio Alvatorre? He was one of FBI’s most wanted! Lucrative arms dealer, importing drugs…I heard he was ultimately brought down for sex trafficking.” Hotch was stunned.

“Yeah, that was me. Emilio took part in a certain lifestyle; he is a dominant and he was seeking a new submissive…and I guess I fit the bill. He essentially owned me, and he referred to me as his pet. It was my job to follow his orders blindly, and I did.”

“What was it like?” Hotch questioned.

“Well…

--

“Good morning pet.” Emilio purred pressing a kiss right below your ear.

“Mmm, good morning sir. Can I make you breakfast?” You offered.

“No darling, the cook will prepare our meal. I think it is sweet you still ask.” His kisses travelled down your neck.

“Do you have meetings today?” You inquired.

“Today is all about you pet. We are going to get you some new clothes, shoes, and maybe a new necklace. I want to spoil you today! We are celebrating!” Emilio gushed.

It was the moments like this that fucked with your mind the most. Emilio could be so kind and gentle, he wanted to take care of you and in the time you’d been with him, it had been increasingly easier to let him. But then there were moments when he turned dark…the other side of him came to light and you couldn’t help but question your mind.

“Boss…” Emilio’s associate barged into the office, only to find you bent over his desk while he pounded into you from behind.

“Not now!” Emilio growled.

“But boss!” This guy really couldn’t take the hint.

Emilio wasn’t one who took well to being interrupted, in any aspect of his life. So, when this associate decided what he had to say was more important than Emilio’s time…you knew it would be bad.

Emilio’s hips never faltered, not upon the initial interruption and certainly not when he leaned to the side, grabbed his gun, and shot the man standing in the doorway. You pinched your eyes shut, knowing better than to react to the horrific sight before you. Emilio continued thrusting, his grunts becoming more erratic, and when he finally finished, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the back of your neck.

“Go run a hot bath. Get in and wait for me. I need to go see about this issue and get this cleaned up.” Emilio stated as he assisted you in standing upright.

“Yes sir.”

--

“It was really hard for me to deal with the two sides of him. I became confused and my mind was so foggy as to whether or not he was truly awful. And I know that so much of that is the manipulation of being his submissive, but I was with him for a year, it was easy to forget what things had been like before Emilio.” You trailed off.

“I can’t even imagine all the things you must’ve seen and gone through in that time. I can understand why you weren’t sure about joining the BAU initially…but I am really glad you did.” Hotch expressed, placing his hand atop your own.

“I’m glad I did too.”

--

The next morning Emily and JJ were sent into the coffee shop that all the victims frequented, and they couldn’t track the unsub. Either he was far too subtle, or he hadn’t shown up. The team was currently in the precinct trying to figure out the next steps, when Derek suggested it again.

“I still think y/n should go undercover, it’s our best bet in finding this guy. What do you say new girl?”

You were taken aback; your mind was screaming at you to decline. You weren’t ready for this, going undercover, blindly following team orders. It’s for the greater good though, isn’t it?

“I could do that.”

“Morgan, I already said it’s not happening. She isn’t ready.” Hotch commanded.

“Hotch, we have all had to go undercover. There is no reason that she can’t go into the coffee shop and order a freaking latte. We will all be there to keep her safe, just like any other case!” Morgan was practically shouting.

“It’s okay. I can do it.”

“Y/n you don’t have to do this. Not if you aren’t comfortable.” Hotch was obviously trying to profile you based on his expression.

“I’m okay. I’ll do it.”

--

You were ordering a coffee, meanwhile Spencer was sitting in the back of the café reading a book and Rossi was in line, about three patrons behind you. Hotch insisted on sitting at a table just outside the entrance to keep a close eye on everyone coming and going. JJ, Derek, and Emily were all in the surveillance van parked across the street, waiting for the signal.

After you received your coffee, you found a seat at an empty table. It wasn’t long before a man approached you. He was tall and clearly strong; he had a very sinister aura that gave you the chills.

“Mind if I sit here?” He asked.

“Oh, sure.” You agreed.

The man sat, but only after he moved the chair closer to you. He was talking to you, but you were having a hard time listening. You were silently begging the guys to come to help and get him away from you.

“You know, you’re really pretty. Why don’t we get out of here? We could go get lunch.” The man suggested.

“Oh, I’m not sure I should.”

“C’mon, be a good girl and get up.” His tone became more aggressive.

You stood up without a second thought, much to the unsub’s delight. He grabbed your arm in a bruising grip and began leading you out of the café.

“They’re on the move. Why is she going with him? This wasn’t the plan.” Derek exclaimed.

Hotch’s demeanor instantly changed. After you opened up to him about your previous assignment, he understood now why you had seemingly always followed orders willingly, only your willingness had been conditioned. Instilled in you through the manipulation of a very dangerous man.

“I got it.” Hotch

Hotch stood up and turned abruptly, purposefully plowing into you and the unsub. He made a move that shifted you away from the unsub and placed himself between you.

“Oh, I am so sorry!” Hotch feigned innocence.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Watch where you’re going asshole. Let’s get out of here.” The unsub reached for your arm once more.

“She’s not going anywhere with you.”

“You want to bet?”  he said, pulling a gun from his waistband and pointing it directly at your head.

You didn’t flinch, in fact you didn’t move a muscle. All the while everyone else sprung into action. Hotch tried to talk him down while the rest of the team surrounded him on all sides. You had stood there completely disassociated while this man threatened your life and ultimately met his untimely end via Emily’s weapon.

--

“Y/n would you please come to my office?” Hotch requested.

You silently followed Hotch to his office. You were wringing your hands, hoping that he wouldn’t reprimand you for your behavior today. You couldn’t handle disappointing people.

“You didn’t even flinch. You had a gun pointed at you and you didn’t even blink. You also willingly left the café with him, which was not a part of the plan we had discussed.” Hotch stated, his tone calm.

“I’m sorry Hotch. He told me to get up and I just…I wasn’t sure what to do. I know we needed to catch the guy.”

“I don’t want you getting hurt.” Hotch admitted. “I don’t know what I would do if you got hurt. I also don’t want you to agree to do things simply because someone tells you to. Like agreeing to go undercover.”

“I don’t know how to do that. Disagree I mean. I’m not sure I have that in me anymore.” You did everything in your power to keep the tears at bay. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“Y/n I’m not disappointed. I do think that it is very important you continue to work with your therapist.”

“I will.”

--

“…and I just stood there.”

“Y/n you we conditioned for over a year to sit still when any sort of firearm was shot, you watched people die right in front of you. You were covered in their blood and forced to remain kneeling until instructed otherwise. I can’t say I am entirely surprised that you didn’t react to having a weapon pointed at you. What does surprise me though was that you agreed to going undercover.” Sylvia finished.

“I knew it was our best option to finding this unsub. I fit the victimology, and I was able to fish him out. It was a no-brainer.” You shrugged.

“Now that sound like someone making a rational decision.” Sylvia smirked.

“Yeah well, after the case Hotch called me out and I felt like a child being scolded. I could barely hold back tears.”

“Why do you think that is?” She pressed.

“I don’t know. I guess, I’m afraid of not being good enough and worse, disappointing him.”

“The only person you should be worried about disappointing is yourself. Y/n you have made huge strides in the last five months and as long as you stay true to yourself, you will continue to do so.”

--

The months went on, as did the cases and your therapy sessions. Oddly enough, you had started to feel more like yourself. Things with the BAU have started to become easy, you were opening up little by little to the others and you were getting better at making your own decisions.

Hotch had also noticed the change. It had warmed his heart to see you really coming into your own, to really get to know the real you. Which had only strengthened his feelings toward you, causing him to work extra hard to shove them down. Rossi knew simply from the look Hotch gave you, but that’s a story for another time.

The team had been working back-to-back cases all over the country for the last few weeks. It had been exhausting and the team were getting to a point where everyone was snippy. Lack of sleep had led to a horrible lack of patience, and the local officers weren’t making matters any better.

“What if we were wrong, I think the unsub is a woman. I mean look at the attention to detail in the clean up and at how the bodies were presented.” You offered.

“Y/n could be right; a woman would take the time to be precise and it would explain the…”

Before Spencer could finish his thought, Officer Riley decided to provide his own theories.

“There is no way it is a woman. They don’t have the courage to take care of people like this. That’s why the statistic proves that the unsub is a man.”

“With all due respect, women are just as capable of murder as men, and when they do it they are often far more meticulous which is why that fits better here.” You explained.

“Well, with all due respect ma’am, I’ve been doing this job longer than you could walk.”

“Excuse me?” You couldn’t bother hiding your surprise.

“All I’m saying sweetheart, is that perhaps you’d be better off getting us some coffee.” Officer Riley sneered.

“Last time I checked, I’m the one working for the FBI and not some Podunk little police station in the middle of nowhere, Idaho. So how about you back off and let us finish our…”

“Y/N TAKE A SEAT.” Hotch demanded.

Despite your shock at Hotch’s tone toward you, you took a seat without hesitation.

“Officer Riley, please let my agents do their work. We have much more important things to be doing than arguing about the duties of a woman.” Hotch chided.

“Well, you clearly agree with me given the fact that you gave her an order. If you’d been on her side you’d have probably told me off.” Riley turned to you, “and you clearly do know how to listen to a man in charge. Perhaps I misjudged you.”

With that, Riley made his leave with a low chuckle, and you sat there considering what had just happened. Hotch had commanded you to sit down knowing full well you’d comply, that way he could deal with Riley without you continuing to tell him off. He used what he knew about you against you, despite all the conversations you’ve had with him. Despite him knowing full well your fear of blindly following orders.

“I can’t believe you.” You stood up and walked out, heading straight for the precinct exit.

“Y/n wait!” Hotch followed you.

As you landed on the sidewalk just upon the exit, Hotch’s had made its way around your upper left arm in a desperate attempt to slow you down and hear him out. Only you were in no mood to listen to him or anyone else right now. All you felt was the sense of betrayal blooming in your chest.

As he swung you back around to face him, you did something that shocked even you. You right arm followed around, landing a harsh slap to Hotch’s cheek. Your breathing was ragged, a look of surprise painting your features…a look of guilt flooding Hotch’s.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t…” You paused.

“No, Y/n I am so sorry I shouldn’t have-” Hotch pleaded.

“I need to go. I can’t do this. I’m sorry.” With that you left, calling a taxi, and heading back to the hotel.

--

“YOU STUPID BITCH! HOW COULD YOU?” Emilio Screamed, lunging toward you.

“Emilio I didn’t, I just…I”

Emilio wrapped his hand around your throat, harshly choking you as SWAT swarmed the shipyard. They quickly made their way to you, removing Emilio from his position over you. As they pulled him away you couldn’t help but watch him.

“Kneel Pet!” Emilio commanded.

You couldn't help but follow his order. Immediately dropping to your knees, resting your hands atop your thighs and letting your gaze fall to the ground.

“I will always own you! You will always be my pet, perfectly broken in!” Emilio hollered as they put him in the back of a vehicle.

“Y/n you’re okay, lets get you up and checked out.” Your unit commander suggested.

Only you didn’t move. You couldn’t get up, not without his permission.

That night, the paramedics had to sedate you to get you into an ambulance. And after that you were placed in a psychiatric facility for 30 days to help undo the brainwashing you’d endured.

--

“Sylvia, I slapped him. My boss, I slapped him right in the face!”

“Y/n you reacted to a situation and based on what you just explained to me, it seems like he knew he was in the wrong. You shouldn’t be blaming yourself and honestly, you should talk to him.”

“I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”

“Maybe tell him how you feel.” Sylvia suggested.

--

You spent the afternoon practicing what to say to Hotch, Spencer had been texting you updates of that case as it progressed. He’d let you know that they caught the unsub and were headed back to the hotel. So, as you opened your door to make your way to his room, you came face-to-face with the man himself.

“Hotch.”  You gasped.

“Y/n can we talk?”

You moved aside to allow him access to your room. You couldn’t help but feel nervous about the conversation that was to come.

“Hotch, I am so sorry for slapping you! I was just-”

“You shouldn’t be the one apologizing. Y/n I am so sorry, I heard you going off on Riley and I knew that if you kept talking he’d report you and I’d be forced to suspend you, only I hadn’t considered the effect that me demanding you take a seat would have on you. I need you to know it was not my intention to take advantage of you like that and even worse, I shouldn’t have put my hand on you the way I did. You had every right to slap me.” Hotch explained.

“You were trying to protect me?”

“Riley had made threats of reporting our staff for going against orders of the precinct. I knew that he’d report you for your behavior, despite him clearly being in the wrong. I didn’t want to suspend you.”

“I didn’t realize. But Hotch telling me to take a seat, in the tone you did, it felt like I was right back there. Following orders without thinking. With you, I can’t explain it, I would do anything you asked me to and that terrifies me. My feelings for you only add to that need to do anything you say, to do anything to please you. I can’t help it.”

“You have feelings for me?”

“Aaron! Is that all you took from what I just said?”

“Please say that again.” He whispered.

“Aaron.”

He let his eyes close and took a deep breath. You could tell he was holding back and though part of you was begging you to walk away, the other was telling you to jump in. You thought about what Sylvia would say, and you couldn’t help but release a breathy laugh, knowing full well that she would tell you that only you can make the right decision, and it is okay to trust yourself.

“Aaron, I am terrified…and it is going to take me some time to fully trust myself again, but I really like you and if you’re up for it, I’d like to give this a shot. Unless you don’t feel the same way, then please ignore what I just said an-”

Aaron pulled you in and pressed his lips to yours in a searing kiss. One that told you everything you needed to know.

“I’m scared too, but I want to try this Y/n. I know that you’re still working to find yourself, I am willing to wait if that is what you need, but I am also willing to be by your side every step of the way.”

“I don’t want to wait.”

[thrashkink-coven]

Things for beginners to know before starting demonolatry or demonology practices

1. The classifications of demons were written by humans, not demons.

Different occult schools of thought will have different understandings of the Hierarchies of Hell, whether Hell even exists, and what attributes are associated with each demon. In some sects Lucifer reigns supreme Emperor of Hell, in others it is Sammael, Moloch, or Baal. It all depends on the perspective of the practitioner. All of these models are equally correct and incorrect. Documentation of de(a)mons were often written by right hand practitioners who saw them as evil, therefore their negative attitudes are emphasized. Other times devotees have documented the same entity as being very kind and affectionate. It is incredibly important to take into account who is speaking whenever you read about demons. No single book or author can deliver to you the most **objective** facts about these demons or the model of reality, if they claim to, they’re lying to you. You as the practitioner must discover and decide what reins true in your reality. Teachers and gurus may influence you but ultimately you must make the decision for yourself.

2. Assume all spirits are multi dimensional

Lucifer, the light bringer, is also the spirit of darkness. He is the sweet prince and the adversary, he is a devil and an angel. It is extremely rare that you will encounter a spirit that is only one thing. There is a little bit of truth to everyone’s interactions. To a Luciferian, Lucifer is a guide, a companion, and a positive presence. To a Christian he is an adversary, a tempter, liar and bringer of evil ; and there is an entire rainbow of other experiences that contribute to the understanding of “Lucifer”. Demons are not all good nor are they all bad, trying to paint them in only one light will only lead to disappointment and confusion. It is just as foolish to assume that a so called angel will always be pleasant and nice, as it is to assume a so called demon will be terrible and mean. Every energy interacts with every person uniquely.

3. Scary and intimidating doesn’t automatically mean “evil”

Nice and pleasing doesn’t automatically mean “good”

If you’re interacting with demons or spirits associated with death, it shouldn’t be very surprising that they’re dark, mysterious, or have a frightening appearance. If you’re dealing with demons or spirits of sex and lust, it shouldn’t be very surprising that they’re alluring, attractive, or beautiful. This doesn’t mean that the scary demon is going to kill you, and this doesn’t mean that the sexy demon is going to fuck you. There are very likely going to be times when your demons will scare you. This doesn’t mean that they’re going to hurt you or possess you (they shouldn’t be frightening you to the point of constant paranoia, but seeing some “disturbing” or strange imagery isn’t out of the norm when you’re contacting a de(a)mon).

If you enter a deep dark cave looking for a bear, don’t be surprised when you see sharp teeth. Demons of violence may summon gory imagery. Demons of death my feel cold and distant. A large part of demonolatry is understanding your fear and overcoming it.

4. Yeah, it’s intense.

Okay. This is hard for me to explain. Infernal spirits and angels alike are entities that force you to confront your innermost self and change. It’s not always spooky and scary and whimsical. Sometimes it’s losing your dead end job, having a serious breakup, losing toxic friends, or having a personal epiphany. When I say it’s intense, I don’t mean that I’m levitating and seeing gnarly gory shit and summoning demons while covered in blood all the time. I have dreams and experiences of course, but seeing a demon work is not about the theatrics. Are you ready to confront the things you rrrrreeaaaaalllly don’t want to think about? Your trauma, the lies you tell yourself to get through the day, and the toxic cycles you comfort yourself with?

Lord Lucifer has made me cry many MANY times. But it was never because he hurt or scared me. I’ve seen many demonolaters refer to Lucifer as a therapist and I couldn’t agree more. He not only changes your understanding of yourself, but others and the world. Through this understanding you can change yourself, and others, and the world.

5. You as the practitioner need to be able to withstand the symptoms of your demonic relationships

Being in a relationship with Lilith or Asmoday is not an excuse to develop a porn addiction. Being in a relationship with Lucifer does not give you the right to psychoanalyze all of your friends, being in a relationship with Eligos is not an excuse to destroy all of your relationships or be cruel towards others. Demons represent energies and concepts that are unfavourable to the masses. When working with Astaroth I will feel more lustful, just by being in her proximity. That is not justification to cheat on my partner or force myself onto him. As much as demons like Lucifer for example can inspire us to be wise and sharp, he can also influence us to be vein and narcissistic. We must always be aware of these effects and resist them, working with demons and shadows does not mean becoming the worst version of ourselves, quite the contrary. Interacting with these negative aspects is meant to show you how to overcome them.

6. Demons cannot and will not replace your relationships with humans

I am very pro godspousing and having friendly and affectionate relationships with demons and spirits. Having said that, as much as our spirits may love us and care for us, they will not be the ones to text you good morning. They will not make you soup when you’re sick, or buy you flowers after a hard day. Demons are guides and companions, but they are not people. Trying to use demons to solve your loneliness will only lead to heart ache. You very much can have a sincere relationship with a demon or other spirit, but be aware that that relationship will not mimic your relationships with humans, and it shouldn’t. Gods and demons are not humans, therefore your relationships with them will not feel human.

7. There’s always more to learn

Devotion to any spirit is an endeavour that can take years or even a lifetime. Your work is not done because you read 3 books and browsed the Occult Wiki for an hour and a half. Become very dedicated to learning about your demons of interest and the culture that surrounds them. Yes, this means boring, tedious research.

8. No, ______ is not mad at you. Please talk to them

You will at some point inevitably do something wrong, especially if you are freshly initiated. Demons understand that we are human, we make mistakes. Instead of becoming paranoid and avoiding your demon out of fear of consequences, put on your big boy pants and confront them directly. Understand what you did wrong and learn from your mistake. There may or may not be consequences, every demon is different. But making yourself sick thinking they’re going to smite you down doesn’t make anything better. I guarantee you that talking to them about it will serve you a million times better than running away.

9. You need to know your boundaries BEFORE you reach out

As important as it is to research your demons, it is equally important to research yourself. You need to have strict boundaries that you will not negotiate. These boundaries should be outlined in your contract if you have one. If blood magic is uncomfortable for you, don’t allow any demon or spirit to coerce you into giving it until you are ready. If you’re a minor you’re more than allowed to not do sex magic. This relationship belongs to you as much as it does your demon(s). If it doesn’t serve you, simply refuse it.

10. On that note, demons can and will reject you. You can and will reject them as well.

On many occasions I have approached spirits who did not want to work with me at the moment. Sometimes they end up showing up later in my life, other times they never do. Oftentimes this is because of an incongruency on an alchemical level, we just aren’t meant for each other. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doing anything wrong. Sometimes you are, but your demon or deity will usually make that clear to you in some way. Don’t force it. If I’m already terribly preoccupied with life or other spiritual relationships, I’m within my right to reject another demon trying to enter my circle. That isn’t a rude thing to do. I’m within my right to deny a ritual I don’t have the energy or resources for. We can put it on the back burner for now.

Likewise, if a demon or spirit is repeatedly overstepping my boundaries or harming me in any way, I can (and should) leave that demon. If I’m not doing enough or causing insult, that demon can leave me. As binding as devotional contracts can be, we are not trapped with each other if we choose not to be.

11. Protection shouldn’t only be against spirits. Be very aware of your surroundings and the people around you

Learn the power of secrecy. As a Luciferian living in an extremely conservative area, I have to be extremely careful about when my pendants are visible. I have to be careful when entering certain places because I don’t want to be hate crimed or harassed. Yes, being out and proud of my demonic relationships is very important to me, but it is not worth risking real danger from bigots, or risking my employment. When I go to work, I have to leave my Lucifer ring at home, not because my work is discriminatory, but because I don’t know when I’m speaking to a christofascist grandma who would make a complaint to my boss because she saw my devotional ring. I don’t know which of my coworkers would make my life more difficult if they knew about my practice. If you are visible, people will approach you and make comments. Now, there are those of us who don’t give a fuck, and on most days I don’t. But for those of us who are vulnerable to that kind of discrimination, please be aware.

12. Self mutilation is not demonolatry

If you choose to offer blood it should be no more than a few drops. You should be using safe tools like a lancet, and disinfecting the area you extract from. This should be done in the least harmful manner possible. Devotional markings or tattoos should be done by a professional.

13. This stuff takes time. Relax

These relationships don’t develop in 24 hours. It takes a tremendous amount of repeated effort to gain the favour of a demon or spirit. If you’re not getting the results you want, take a break, reevaluate your methods, and try again later.

[cursingtoji]

“hello ken” you say with honey dripping from your voice, a wide smile and kind eyes when you see the blond as if he was the guest of honor in your heart.

“you look gorgeous” kento says slowly making his way to you, almost timidly.

yuuji observes from the side. this is his first christmas party at jujutsu tech, so there’s many people he doesn’t know, and he’s looking forward to meet all but you catch his eye by the way you so dearly address nanamin.

you get very close to each other and yuuji holds his breath thinking you’re about to kiss but instead you just touch the tip of your nose on his.

“what the…” he whispers to himself.

“you keep getting gorgeous over time” gojo says appearing besides nanami and holding your hand up high for you to give them a spin.

“she used to be nanami’s girlfriend” megumi explains to yuuji.

“used to? they sound so in love…” yuuji tilts his head looking at the smile on nanami’s face, the smile actually takes his whole features.

“yeah, well” megumi shrugs.

“you guys know what to say to a girl” you laugh, both yuuji and megumi stand there admiring the scene before they get dragged away by nobara.

yuuji looks over his shoulder one more time to catch the glimpse of when you meet nanami’s gaze and the scene seems like it’s on slow motion, your smile widens and his softens. there’s no way two people that look at each other like that are not in love.

[miazetomer]

Heartless | Rafe Cameron x pogue(ish)!fem!reader (Epilogue)

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, angst, fluff, smut, alcohol use, drug use, the usual

Summary: Your life with Rafe Cameron after finally getting back together

a/n: guys im so sad this is the last part to this series i’m like actually crying. i just want to take a very quick second to say thank you for all the live you guys have shown this series, from the reblogs to the likes to the new followers it literally means everything to me. now i don’t want to say this is the end for sure because i could still write blurbs here or there for this reader and rafe because i just love them that much together

prev

♡♡♡

4 years later…

You paced around your hotel room as you tried to commit your vows to memory, mentally slapping yourself for not doing it before. You had curlers in your hair and your makeup wasn’t even done yet.

“Sweetie, please sit down.” Your mom said from her spot in her makeup chair as she was getting her own hair done.

“Mom, I have a process.” You muttered out, taking a deep breath as you read your vows off your notes app in your phone. You needed this day to go perfect, everything had to be perfect. You had waited for this day for so long and now that it was finally here, you were so nervous you could throw up.

You would’ve kept pacing around the room if there wasn’t a knock on the door. You walked over to the door and opened it up, the shock evident on your face as you stared at the man on the other side of the door.

“Dad?” You said, only keeping the door open enough so that he could see you. If Kie saw him, you were certain she would drag him out by his ear.

“Hi, Sweetheart.” He responded softly with a smile. He looked good, healthy even.

“W-what are you doing here?”

“Um, your mom told me you would be here.” Your dad answered and you turned around to look at her. She sent you a smile and a small shrug. “Don’t worry I’m not staying. I brought you something.” You sighed as you watched your dad pull out a jewelry box, your eyebrow cocking at the sight of it. Luke opened the box and showed you the necklace in it. “It was your grandmother’s. It’s real so you won’t have to worry about your neck turning green.”

“Dad, it’s beautiful.” You smiled, turning around so he could put it on. Your hand touched the pendant as you looked down at it.

“I was saving it for a day like this.” He explained when you turned back around. “Listen, I know I haven’t been the best dad and I’m sorry for that. I’m just glad you had such a great mom and step-dad to raise you so you could turn into the fantastic woman you are today.”

“Thanks…Dad.” You said hesitantly with a small smile.

♡♡♡

You were surrounded by your bridesmaids outside the chapel as you went over your vows for the last time. Sarah, Kie, Cleo, Wheezie, and Lily all watched you nervously as you paced, your heels clicking against the tile.

“Hey.” John B said with a small smile as he walked up to you.

“What are you doing out here? You’re supposed to be in there.” You complained, pointing towards the chapel.

“Relax, Sarah told me you were kind of freaking out. I just came out here to talk to you. Today is your day, y/n. The day you’ve been waiting for, for years. But, if you aren’t ready or you feel like you need to run, the Twinkies’ ready. Me, JJ, Pope, Sarah, Kie, and Cleo are all ready to run with you.”

You took a deep breath and hugged John B, placing a kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you, but I think I’m ready.” You said when you stepped back.

“I’ll see you in there, yeah?”

“Front row?”

“Front row, right next to JJ. Just like I promised.” John B smiled and entered the chapel.

You walked over to your flower girl, Lola, Sarah and John B’s three year old daughter, and squatted in front of her with a smile.

“Hey bug.” You smiled, fixing the girl’s hair. “Are you ready for your big debut?”

“Yes.” She nodded with a big smile.

“Okay, give me a hug.” You reached your arms out and she stepped into them as you wrapped your arms around her, cradling her head.

You stood up and walked next to your step-dad, linking your arm through his. He cried when you asked him if he would walk you down the aisle.

“The Routledge boy is right you know.” He whispered to you. “I don’t care how much money your mother and I have to put into this. If you aren’t ready, we don’t have to do this today. We can wait two weeks, a month, a year. It doesn’t matter.”

“Today’s the day.” You assured him with a smile.

When you walked into the chapel and saw Rafe standing at the altar, it was like every worry, every thought, every seed of doubt was washed away from your mind. All you saw was him, not the hundreds of people staring at you, not your family, but him.

When your step-father handed you off to Rafe and you took his hands in yours, you squeezed his hands, a way to tell him everything was going to be okay and a way to assure him that this was really happening. Not some daydream you had when you were a kid or some fantasy the two of you talked about in bed. It was really happening, the day was finally here.

You looked to your right and as promised, John B, JJ, and Pope sat in the front row all with smiles on their faces and subtle thumbs up. You smiled and tried to suppress the giggle that was trying to escape from your throat. Everything would be alright. You had your boys to your right, your girls behind you, and the man that you’ve been vining after your entire life was standing right in front of you.

“I believe the couple have written their own vows.” The priest said with a smile.

You looked towards Rafe, ready to hear whatever he had written, but when he didn’t say anything confusion washed over your face, then you watched as it washed over Rafe’s face.

“Oh, right, I go first.” You laughed as Rafe looked relieved, cracking a smile at your mistake. You took a deep breath and looked into Rafe’s eyes. “Rafe, I knew you were the love of my life when I first met you. I’ve dreamed of this day since I was four years old and now it’s finally here. There is no one else I would rather take this jump with than you. I promise to love you unconditionally, no matter what, even during basketball season. I promise to be open and honest at all times. And, finally, I promise not to spend too much of your money. Well, I’ll do my best.”

“Y/n, I remember seeing you for the first time like it was yesterday. Even though we were kids, I knew then that I wanted to make you my wife someday. It was like I saw our future flash before my eyes the first time I saw you. I vow to stay by your side at all times. I vow to always love you. I vow to support you throughout life, just like you have for me. And I vow to protect you from all the bad that comes your way.”

Rafe’s vows made you tear up, a single tear dripping down your cheek.

“You may now kiss your bride.” The priest announced.

Rafe dropped your hands and rested them on your waist, pulling you towards him as he leaned down and landed his lips on yours. Your hands moved to cup Rafe’s face gently as you kissed him back, smiling against his lips.

♡♡♡

You had changed for the reception, a short, white Christian Dior dress that you had flown in from Paris. It was the perfect reception dress and you would’ve gone to Paris yourself if you needed to. You sat next to Rafe at a table in front of everyone, his groomsmen to his left and your bridesmaids to your right. Rafe’s hand was on your thigh, rubbing small circles with his thumb into your skin. Your own hand was on his arm as you listened to Sarah give her Maid of Honor speech.

“Y/n and I met when we were four. We met in preschool and we both wanted to play with the same Barbie. I was ready to fight for the doll, but y/n said ‘Here you can play with her, I have tons of Barbies at home. You’re pretty, you should come over to my house and play Barbies with me after school.’ I knew from that day on she would be my best friend. I was surprised when we arrived at her house later that day after school because my house was right next door. I’ll never forget the look on her face when I told her we were neighbors. She said ‘You live in the house with the boy who keeps throwing water balloons at me.’ When I explained that it was my brother throwing the water balloons, I was terrified she wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore, instead she said ‘Let’s do it back, we can work as a team against him.’ That was the day I knew I was in for a long ride with Rafe and y/n. That day became known as ‘The Great Water Balloon Fight of 2006.’ Rafe recruited Topper, who we later found out was y/n’s cousin, and y/n had me. For three hours we launched water balloons over our shared privacy wall, only taking breaks to fill up water balloons. The next day, y/n came over to our house and we decided to play hide and seek. Naturally, I was the seeker. I found y/n and Rafe under Rafe’s bed. Rafe had his hand wrapped around y/n’s mouth and I wasn’t sure if he was trying to suffocate her or keep her quiet. That was the day it became my mission to make sure they got married. I didn’t realize how hard that mission would be. Every day they fought over something new. They bickered like an old married couple. When we were fourteen, I convinced Rafe to ask y/n to go to Midsummer’s with him. I thought it would be smooth sailing from then on out, boy was I wrong. Whatever color y/n picked for them, Rafe would say no to. But, eventually y/n broke Rafe down and they agreed on light sage green, y/n’s favorite color. And if you notice, it can be found around the room tonight. When we went over to y/n’s house later that night before Midsummer’s and she came down the stairs, I’d never seen a man look more in love than Rafe that night. It was very rare that Rafe stumbled over his words or got nervous, but he could barely get out two words when she walked up to him. When Rafe and y/n told me they were getting back together after two years apart, I was ecstatic. I always believed in soulmates and that they always found their way to each other and I truly believe these two are soulmates who found their way back to each other. Y/n, you’ve always been like a sister to me and I’m so glad it’s finally official. Rafe, I was lucky enough to grow up with y/n, but now you’re lucky enough to grow old with her. Congratulations to you both.”

Sarah’s speech had you in tears by the end of it. Some tears were from laughing so hard you thought you were going to pee yourself, but most tears were for the love you felt not just for Sarah, but for Rafe. When Sarah returned to her seat next to you, you gave her a tight hug and whispered an ‘I love you’ in her ear. You watched Topper as he stood up and made his way to the floor for his Best Man speech.

“Don’t know how I’m gonna top that.” He started, clearing his throat, earning a laugh from you and Rafe. “But, I’m going to give it my best shot. Um, I met Rafe when we were in kindergarten. Obviously, I met y/n when she made her glorious way into this world. Y/n was always like the little sister I never had and Rafe was like the cool older brother that I also never had. One day, when I went over to Rafe’s house he showed me this cool water balloon launcher his dad had just gotten him. He then proceeded to launch one over the wall. At the time, I was too stupid to put two and two together to realize he was launching them at my little cousin. He told me he thought he was launching them at nothing. It wasn’t until we had a barrage of water balloons being launched back at us, that we realized he was actually hitting y/n. Like Sarah said, thus started the ‘Great Water Balloon Fight of 2006.’ At the end of the fight, y/n stood on a step stool to reach over the wall and pour a bucket of water over the top of us, effectively concluding the water balloon fight. From that day on the four of us formed a seemingly unbreakable bond. And then, little Kelce found his way into the group and our group of four quickly became a group of five. Every day our little group was lucky enough to witness the relationship that was quickly growing between y/n and Rafe. Sarah kept telling me that she hoped they got married someday and I would quickly shut down the idea, because the thought of my little cousin getting married to my best friend was disturbing, I mean I was five at the time so the thought of marriage as a whole weirded me out. But, eventually, it became more and more evident that these two would in fact end up together. Rafe, thank you for taking care of the closest thing I have to a little sister and y/n I couldn’t be happier that you got the happy ending you always dreamed of. Rafe, welcome to the family. Congratulations.”

♡♡♡

During the father daughter dance, your step-father held you close.

“Does this mean I have to give up my credit cards then?” You asked, looking up at your step-father, half joking, half serious.

“No, Sweetie, you can use those as long as you need.” He responded with a smile.

“Oh, thank God, because I think me and my black Amex card have formed a bond.” You sighed, earning a laugh from Doug. “I love you, Dad.”

It was the first time you had called Doug ‘Dad’ and you watched as tears formed in his eyes as he held your hand just a little tighter.

“I love you, too, Sweetie.” He said, placing a kiss on top of your head.

♡♡♡

It was your first dance with Rafe and you leaned your head against his chest as he looked down at you.

“So, what website did you use to write your vows?” You smiled and looked up at Rafe. “I’m not mad, I know you meant everything you said.”

“ChatGPT.” He confessed with a smile and you laughed as you shook your head. “What did you use for yours?”

“Rafe Cameron, I am appalled that you would even suggest that I would do that.” You joked and lightly slapped his chest. “GoogleAI.”

You could feel Rafe’s laugh in his chest as you leaned your head back against it.

“What website do you think Topper used for his best man’s speech?” You asked.

“Topper told me that came directly from his heart.”

“Did Sarah help him? They both used the water balloon story.”

“I think she may have helped him here or there, but I think they both used the water balloon story because that’s where our story started.”

“When did you become so wise?” You asked, looking up at Rafe.

“I think it comes with age.” He smiled before giving you a quick kiss.

“I found a house.” You blurted out. “It’s perfect, it has everything we want, it’s on the same street as my parents. Ten bedrooms, each with their own bathroom. Ten bedrooms Rafe. And a large dock. We can pay for it in cash tomorrow. There’s already another couple looking at it.”

“What about Tannyhill?”

“We give it to Sarah, just like we talked about. It stays in the family. Someone who loves it is getting it, not some randos who are looking to move onto Kildare.”

“It’s the perfect house?”

“Absolutely perfect.”

♡♡♡

You sat outside the venue with your friends passing around a couple joints. Rafe was off with Topper and Kelce somewhere and you just wanted to spend these moments with your friends before you left for Greece for a month. The reception was over, everyone had gone home. The only people left were you, JJ, John B, Pope, Sarah, Cleo, Kie, Topper, Kelce, and Rafe, and maybe Wheezie.

“Here.” You said to Sarah, handing her the joint that was in your hand.

“I don’t know.” She responded hesitantly, looking at the joint.

“Come on Sarah, Lola went home with my parents. It’s time to have some adult fun for the first time in four years.”

“Alright, alright.” Sarah said, taking the joint from you. Everyone watched as she inhaled and then quickly coughed afterwards, earning a laugh from everybody. “It’s…been…a…while.” She said between coughs.

“I have a gift for everyone.” You announced, pulling two cases of your group’s favorite beer out from behind you.

“How long have you been hiding those?” JJ asked, gladly accepting a beer from you.

“Not very long.” You answered, cracking open your own beer. “I’m gonna miss you guys so much.” You admitted. Your honeymoon is the longest you’re going to be away from your friends for the first time since college.

“You’ll only be gone a month.” Kie smiled. “How about we throw a homecoming party for you the day you come back. It’ll be at Poguelandia.”

“Ooh, can I come?” Wheezie asked, coming outside.

“Wheezie!” You all cheered as the younger girl joined your group. You grabbed a beer from a case and handed it to her, holding a finger up to your lips.

“Y/n!” Sarah scolded.

“Come on, we did the same thing at her age.” You protested. “It’s one beer, Mama Bear.”

“Let’s play Never Have I Ever.” Kie offered, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Oh, God.” You groaned.

“It’ll be fun. Tonight’s our last night before we officially enter adulthood. We’re all officially married now, which means we have one night left before we start living our lives.” Kie said, trying to convince everyone to play.

You sighed and took a sip of your beer, looking around at everyone. “Okay, let’s do it. But, just because we’re all married now, doesn’t mean we aren’t going to be friends anymore and can’t have fun.”

“I’ll start.” Kie smirked. “Never have I ever drunk called my ex.”

Everyone looked at you as you took a sip of your beer.

“Not fair.” You muttered, remembering that time you got drunk at school and called Rafe from a blocked number, but you chickened out and hung up. “My turn! Never have I ever gotten lost in another country.”

You raised your eyebrows as everyone except Wheezie took a sip of their beer.

“That was targeted.” JJ mumbled. “I have one. Never have I ever driven over a curb.” JJ’s eyes darted over to Kie as she took a sip of her beer, Wheezie following suit.

You laughed as you watched Wheezie drink her beer.

“I’m a bad driver.” Wheezie admitted, trying to hide her face as she blushed. “Okay, I have one. Never have I ever kissed another girl.”

You and Sarah looked at each other with a smile before drinking your beers.

“What?” Wheezie gasped as she watched the two of you drink.

“We were like eleven and we wanted to see what kissing was like. No big deal.” You explained.

“You guys were each other’s first kiss?” Kie asked, smirking.

“We don’t count it.” Sarah laughed.

“John B, looks like your dream did come true.” JJ whispered to John B, but it was loud enough for others to hear. You sent JJ a glare and rolled your eyes.

“What is he talking about?” Sarah asked, looking at you with a confused look on her face.

“You don’t know?” Kie gasped. “John B and y/n used to hook up when we were juniors in high school.”

“What?”

“It was only once or twice.” You lied, taking a sip of your beer. “It never really meant anything. Right, JB?”

“Yeah, definitely.” John B responded. “It only really happened after we drank.”

“Y/n, if I knew you and John B used to be a thing I never would’ve gone out with him.” Sarah explained. She was starting to worry that she took John B from you.

“Sarah.” You laughed. “I’m glad you and JB started going out. JB is like my brother, nothing was ever going to actually happen between us. Besides, you know who I’ve always had my eye on.”

Sarah sighed and hugged you as you laughed and hugged her back.

“I’m sorry I get so emotional when I smoke weed.” Sarah said, tears starting to form in her eyes.

“It’s okay.” You laughed, dabbing her eyes with a tissue you grabbed out of your clutch.

“If the crying is over, I have one.” Pope started. “Never have I ever done the walk of shame.”

You, Kie, Sarah, and JJ all took a sip of your beer. You remembered all the times you walked from Tannyhill back to your house wearing either one of Rafe’s shirts or your clothes from the night before.

“Never have I ever gone twenty four hours without showering.” You laughed, taking a hit from the joint in your hand.

You watched as everyone, aside from Wheezie, took a sip from their beer.

“You get stranded on an island for weeks and see how often you shower.” John B slurred, making you laugh.

“Hey baby.” Rafe said, coming up behind you. “Ready to go?”

“Do we have to?” You asked, whining a little. “Come on, join us.”

You stood up and let Rafe have your seat, before you sat in his lap, crossing one leg over the other as you wrapped your arms around Rafe’s neck, his hands resting on your waist.

“Why is Wheezie drinking?” He asked.

“Because she’s becoming part of the group.” You slurred, smiling at Rafe. “It’s her initiation night.” Rafe nodded in response, his eyebrows raised in interest.

You handed a beer to Rafe, opening it for him.

“We’re playing Never Have I ever.” You leaned down and whispered in his ear as everyone continued the game.

“Never have I ever used a fake I.D.” Wheezie admitted. You laughed as everyone took a drink, Rafe joining in on the game.

“Wheezie, you’re going to college soon you’re gonna need a fake I.D.” You said, Rafe squeezing your waist lightly. “What? It’s true.” You turned your head and looked down at Rafe. “I’ll get you a couple for your graduation gift.” You winked at Wheezie.

“Never have I ever ghosted someone.” Rafe taunted.

“Do you want to go to Greece by yourself tomorrow?” You asked before finishing your beer.

“Who paid for Greece?” Rafe asked.

“Who paid for our wedding?” You responded.

“Aww, their first fight as a married couple.” Kie said, putting her hand over her heart.

“They aren’t fighting, they’re flirting.” Sarah laughed.

You sighed as you checked the time on your watch. “We should probably go. We have an early flight.”

“How do you have an early flight for your own plane?” JJ asked. “Can’t you like pick the time you take off?”

“I wish.” You sighed, standing up. You gave everyone a hug and said ‘I love you’ to everyone. JJ pulled Rafe aside as you spoke to Kie and Sarah.

“Make sure everything goes as she wants, please.” JJ said. “She’s been planning this trip for the last four months. She put a lot of work and planning into it. I just want to make sure everything goes the way she wants it.”

“Don’t worry, man, I got it all under control.” Rafe assured JJ, tapping his shoulder.

♡♡♡

4 months after the wedding…

“I can’t pee if you’re looking.” You explained to Rafe as the two of you sat in the bathroom. It wasn’t exactly like you and Rafe were trying to get pregnant, but you weren’t opposed to the idea of it.

“Okay, okay, sorry.” Rafe apologized, turning around.

You took a deep breath and peed on the test. You stood up and placed the test on the counter, then washed your hands.

“We just need to wait two minutes.” You read the instructions on the box before throwing it in the trash. “Are you nervous?”

“A little. Are you?”

“Well, considering the fact that if it’s positive my body and mind are going to go through intense changes, I’d say yeah I’m a little nervous.” You twisted your hands together as you stared at the test.

“Whatever happens, I’ll be right here.”

“It’s time. Do you want to…?”

“I’m not touching that!”

“Well I don’t want to!”

“W-we’ll do it together.”

You nodded and you and Rafe went to reach for the test at the same time, but as your hand wrapped around the test, Rafe pulled his hand away at the last second.

“Asshole.” You muttered, before turning the test around. You gasped when you saw the two lines on the test. “Oh my God!”

“Is it positive?” Rafe asked, looking down at the test.

“Yes!” You cheered, jumping into Rafe’s arms.

Rafe laughed as he wrapped his arms around your waist, lifting you off the ground.

♡♡♡

You and Rafe sat in your OB/GYN’s office as you waited for your doctor to come into your room.

“Well, the urine test came back positive.” She smiled as she entered the room. “Would you two like to see your baby?”

You both nodded as you held Rafe’s hand. The doctor smiled as she lifted your shirt up over your stomach and squirted some sort of jelly over your bare skin. You watched as the doctor brought the wand onto your skin and found the baby quickly.

“Well, there’s the fetus.” She smiled as she looked at you and Rafe, pointing at the screen. “I’d say you’re about three months along from the look of things. And there’s the heartbeat.”

You looked at Rafe who was looking at the monitor. You could see a tear falling down his cheek, listening to the heartbeat. You cupped his cheek gently and wiped the tear off his cheek.

♡♡♡

You and Rafe sat at your parents house with your little brother and sister for the family dinner your parents had organized.

“We have gifts for everyone.” You cheered as you handed everyone their gift bags.

“What’s this for?” Your mom asked, as she inspected the bag suspiciously.

“Just open them.”

You watched as they each pulled out their individual shirts.

“Is this real?” Your mom asked, tears forming in her eyes.

“Oh my God!” Cecily, your little sister, cheered as she jumped up and down.

“No way.” William said, looking at his shirt.

You watched as Doug walked over to Rafe and shook his hand before pulling him in for a hug. Your sister and your mom walked over to you and pulled you into a group hug.

♡♡♡

You and Rafe were getting ready to head over to Tannyhill, John B and Sarah had invited you, Rafe, Kie, and JJ over. They would’ve invited Pope and Cleo but they were out of town.

“You ready?” Rafe asked you, his eyes meeting yours in the mirror as you applied your mascara.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” You smiled before turning around and giving Rafe a quick kiss. “Are you ready?”

“The hard part was telling Doug, this is the easy part.” He joked, sending you a small smile.

The two of you made the quick trip to Tannyhill and walked inside.

“Hello?” You called out as Rafe closed the front door behind him. You were greeted by Lola running towards you and Rafe. “Oh, hello there.” You smiled, picking Lola up.

“We’re in here!” Sarah called out from the living room. The three of you made your way to the living room where you were greeted by John B, Sarah, Kie, and JJ.

“I have a stowaway.” You said, tickling Lola, earning a giggle from her. You handed Lola off to John B and sat down with Rafe on the couch, his arm draped over your shoulders.

“I’m sure y’all are wondering why we invited you over here.” Sarah started with a big smile as she looked over at John B. “We have big news. I’m pregnant.”

You gasped and jumped out of your seat, running over to hug Sarah, Kie joining in on the hug.

“Well, Rafe and I have news too.” You smiled as you pulled away from the hug.

Sarah gasped when she picked up on the hint.

“Are you serious?” She asked, her hands clasping over her mouth.

“You don’t even know what I’m going to say.” You laughed.

“You don’t even have to, you’re glowing!”

“No reason to stop the excitement.” Kie said, pulling a bag out from under the chair she was sitting on.

You and Sarah screamed and the three of you hugged, jumping up and down in excitement.

“I know we’ve always talked about this, but I didn’t think it would actually happen.” You smiled, pushing your hair behind your ears. The guys gathered around each other, talking amongst themselves as the three of you rejoiced. “Oh my God, we need to FaceTime Wheezie!”

You pulled your phone out of your back pocket and quickly called Wheezie as Kie and Sarah gathered around your phone.

“Wheezie!” The three of you said when she picked up the phone.

“Hi Wheez.” Sarah smiled as she looked at her sister. “What are you doing?”

“Getting ready to go out.” She explained as she curled her hair.

“We have news!” Kie cheered.

“Oh my God, don’t tell me all three of you are pregnant.” Wheezie said, looking down at her phone as the three of you smiled at each other. Wheezie screamed and pulled the phone closer to her, causing the three of you to laugh. “Are you serious? This isn’t some sick prank is it?”

“No, we’re serious.” You smiled.

“Do you even know how incredibly lucky this is?” Wheezie asked. “Like y’all need to go buy lottery tickets or something. I have to go but I better get bumpdate pictures from all three of you, monthly.”

You all said goodbye to Wheezie and hung up the phone, before storing it in your back pocket again. Kie and Sarah went to go join the boys in their conversation as JJ made his way over to you.

“Congratulations.” He said with a smile, pulling you in for a hug.

“You too.” You smiled, returning the hug. “I’m so happy for you Jay. You know you are gonna have to start saving up for The Academy, right? I’m not letting our kids go to different schools.”

“Don’t worry, Kie’s parents have that covered. Something about ‘There’s no way in hell their grandchild is going to public school.’”

“You know we’re gonna have to get a new car.” You told Rafe when he made his back over to you.

“I have a feeling you already have one picked out.”

“You know me so well.”

♡♡♡

6 months after finding out you were pregnant…

“Get this fucking thing out of me.” You groaned, squeezing Rafe’s hand so tight he was worried you would break it.

“You’re doing so good baby.” He said, an attempt at calming you down.

“I want my mom.” You cried. “Go. Get. My. Mom.”

Rafe let go of your hand and ran just outside your room where your mom was waiting. He quickly came back to your side and your mom hurried to your other side, grabbing your hand with both of hers.

“Mommy, I can’t do this.” You cried. Sweat was forming on your forehead and tears were pouring down your cheeks.

“Yes, you can Sweetie. You’ve been waiting for this moment for months now. All that prepping, all those classes you took, has led you up to this exact moment. Now, I need you to push Sweetheart.”

You groaned as you started pushing again, squeezing both your mom’s and Rafe’s hands.

“Good, Mrs. Cameron.” Your OB/GYN said as she peered up at you. “Just a couple more pushes and your baby girl is out.”

After what felt like forever, you felt relief and then you heard crying.

“A beautiful, healthy baby girl.” Your doctor cheered, holding your baby up. “Ten fingers and ten toes.”

Rafe leaned down and kissed your forehead.

“You did it baby, our little girl is here.” He smiled as he looked at your baby. Rafe walked over to her and cut the umbilical cord as your mom wiped the sweat off your forehead.

“I’m so proud of you Sweetie.” She said, leaving a kiss on the top of your head.

“Are you ready to meet your little girl?” Your doctor asked, walking over to you. You nodded and held your arms out as you took your baby gently.

“She’s perfect.” You whispered, smiling down at her. “Laura Sarah Cameron.”

“You’re giving her my name?” Your mom asked, her hand clutching her chest as tears welled in her eyes.

“Of course, Mom. It was the very obvious choice.”

♡♡♡

It had been one day since you gave birth and you were starting to get visitors. You smiled when a very pregnant Sarah walked in with John B and Lola. Rafe held Laura as you reached down and picked Lola up into your bed.

“Hi, bug.” You smiled, as you took Laura from Rafe. “Are you ready to meet your new cousin?”

Lola nodded with excitement as she peered at the baby in your arms.

“Do you want to know her name?” You asked the little girl.

“What is it?”

“Laura Sarah Cameron.” You replied with a smile as you looked up at Sarah.

“Are you serious?” Sarah asked, the shock evident on her face.

“Yes.” You laughed. “I told you she’d be surprised.” You said, turning towards Rafe.

Not long after, your parents came into the room.

“Mimi!” Lola cheered and climbed off the bed, heading towards your mom. Your mom was the closest thing Lola had to a grandma, so when Sarah asked if she would be her honorary grandmother she was so happy she actually danced.

“Hi, Sweetheart.” Your mom smiled, bending over to pick Lola up.

Doug walked over to you and the baby.

“Hi Sweetie, how are you feeling?” He asked, with a soft smile.

“I’m a little sore but other than that I feel fine. Mostly just a little anxious.” You handed the baby off to Rafe so he could introduce her to John B while you spoke to your step-dad.

“Anxious is good, it’s healthy. If you said you had everything under control I would be a little worried.”

♡♡♡

13 years after having your first baby…

Your family was driving back from your daughter Laura’s early morning volleyball tournament. Rafe was driving, you sat in the passenger seat, your thirteen year old daughter, Laura, sat behind Rafe, your twelve year old daughter, Ava, sat behind you, and your ten year old twins Alexia and Douglass sat in the third row. You were playing your early 2000’s playlist that you thought everyone was enjoying, but Laura definitely had other thoughts.

“Mom do we have to listen to your old people music?” She complained.

“Old?” You gasped, your hand immediately going over your chest as if you’ve been shot. “This is not old. Destiny’s Child and Beyoncé are timeless. Are we—Are we old now, Rafe?”

“No, baby, we’re a couple of spring chickens.” Rafe joked, causing you to slap his arm with the back of your hand.

“Mom, can Avery and Alivia come over to get ready for Midsummers?” Ava asked as she looked at her phone. Alivia was Sarah’s twelve year old daughter and Avery was Kie’s. That time around you three had decided to get pregnant around the same time and also decided to coordinate names. “Lola said she would take us.”

“Yeah, that’s fine Sweetheart.”

“Lola’s taking you losers to Midsummers?” Laura asked Ava.

“Let’s not call our family names, Laura.” You said, turning around to look at your girls. They really did look like Rafe, all your children did, but they definitely got your personality and when you started realizing that, you knew you were in for a long couple of years once they started becoming teenagers.

“It’s so unfair you guys get to go to Midsummers.” Alexia complained from the back.

“I think it’s unfair you get to stay home and I have to go.” Rafe muttered, earning a look from you.

“You’ll get your chance to go next year, baby.” You promised the ten year old with a smile. “You’re just a little young now.”

“I’m ten, that’s double digits.” The girl whined.

“I know, Sweetie, but rules are rules and we have to follow them for a reason.”

♡♡♡

You looked at yourself in the mirror as you finished getting ready for Midsummers. Your dress was beautiful and you looked gorgeous, but you didn’t feel beautiful.

“Everything alright?” Rafe asked, your eyes meeting his in the mirror as he tied his tie.

“Do you…Do you still think I’m attractive?” You asked, watching as Rafe’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Like you do you still find me beautiful? And I-I know I don’t have the same body as I did when we first got married-”

“Baby, baby, baby.” Rafe said, his hands resting on your hips as he looked at you through the mirror. “I think you’re more beautiful now than the day we met. I think you get more beautiful as the days go on. I never expected your body to stay the same as the day we got married. Our bodies change as we get older; they grow and they shrink. You’ve had four great children—well three, I’m still undecided about the boy. All I’m saying is, I think you are the most gorgeous, wonderful person on this planet and nothing’s gonna change that.”

You turned around and wrapped your arms around Rafe’s neck. “You really have gotten wiser with age.” You smiled.

♡♡♡

“Not having fun?” You asked your daughter Ava as she sat at a table by herself, sulking. Rafe and Topper were off drinking a beer and you were making your way back to Sarah and Kie.

“I just…I want to ask Kai to dance but I’m sure he’s busy with like his parents or something.” Ava sighed as she picked at her nails. Kai was Cleo and Pope’s son who was the same age as Ava.

“Why don’t you go ask Uncle Pope or Aunt Cleo if he can hangout for a little bit?” You offered, fixing your daughter’s hair.

“Alright, I’ll give it a shot.” She sighed, standing up from her seat.

You watched as she made her way over to where Pope and Cleo were cooking and asked Cleo if Kai could hangout. You assumed she said yes because Ava was all smiles as she pulled Kai away from his mom and dad. Cleo looked over to you and sent you a smile, which you returned with a mouthed ‘thank you.’

You walked back over to where you, Sarah, and Kie were sitting, only to see that Sarah was missing.

“Where’s Sarah?” You asked Kie as you sat down.

“I think she’s off looking for Lola.” She answered, taking a sip of her wine.

“Have you guys seen Lola? I can’t find her anywhere.” Sarah said, rushing over to your table. You sent Kie a knowing look and then took Sarah’s hands and guided her to sit down.

“Sarah, you need to calm down. Lola is seventeen now. She probably left to go hangout at a friend’s house or is somewhere around here with a friend. You have to cut the umbilical cord at some point. And I know she’s your baby, but babies grow up, Sweetie. I have something that I think all of us could use.” You stood up from your chair and started to walk away, but when you looked back, both Kie and Sarah were still sitting. “Well, come on, I’m not doing it by myself.”

The girls sighed and stood up, following you to some dark corner that no one would come by. You dug through your clutch and found the joint and lighter you threw in there right before leaving.

“I don’t know if this is a good idea, y/n. What if someone sees?” Sarah asked, looking around.

“Trust me, no one comes over here.” You assured her as you lit the joint.

It wasn’t long before the three of you were giggling, the events of the evening long forgotten.

“What are the three of you doing?” Lola asked as she came around the corner, her arms crossed across her chest.

“Oh, no, the fun police is here.” You laughed as you quickly put the rest of the joint out. “We came over here to have our own fun, because your mother was all up in arms, because she couldn’t find you.”

“I took Laura, Max, and Josie to your house because they said they were bored here.” Lola explained. Max and Josie were Kie and Sarah’s thirteen year old son and daughter.

“You were so worried about Lola, you didn’t even notice Josie was gone.” Kie laughed.

“Well you two didn’t seem to realize Laura and Max were gone either.” Sarah huffed crossing her arms.

“I figured she was with one of your kids. They never seem to stray from one another.” You responded.

“I’m going to get your husbands.” Lola said with a roll of her eyes. “Stay here.”

“No, don’t go get them they’re the real party poopers.” You pleaded, but Lola just waved you off and walked away. “Okay, now’s our chance to escape.”

“I don’t know, I think we should just wait for the guys.” Kie said.

“I agree.” Sarah nodded. “They’re gonna take us home where I can get something to drink. My mouth is really dry. Did it always get this dry?”

“Y’all are used to running away from murders and you’re scared to run away from your own husbands? Sarah, we can get you something to drink at the bar. Now, let’s go.”

Just as you convinced Sarah and Kie to leave your secluded corner, the first two steps you took had you running into your husbands and Lola.

“They’re all yours now.” Lola said, before walking away.

You looked behind you for an out.

“You know you’re gonna have to chase us.” You smirked, looking at Rafe.

“Chase?” Kie whispered, asking for confirmation.

“Yes.” You whispered back.

“We’re prepared for that.” Rafe smiled. “But, based on what Lola told us, you aren’t getting very far.”

“Run, run, run!” You shouted, taking off towards the woods behind you.

“Really? The woods?” Kie shouted as she ran behind you.

“Guys, this doesn’t seem like a good idea!” Sarah added, shrieking when she looked behind her and saw the boys gaining on her.

You screamed as you felt your foot hook a branch on the ground, causing you to fall. You huffed as you turned over and saw Rafe standing behind you.

“Sorry, baby, but I think your fun is over.” He said as he helped you up.

“No fair, I never get to have fun anymore.” You muttered as you brushed yourself off.

“Hey, I think I can be fun.” Rafe protested as you walked back towards the party, Rafe holding your hand.

“I know you think you’re fun, baby.” You joked, bumping your shoulder against Rafe’s as you laughed.

♡♡♡

Taglist: @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @hotch-meeeeeuppppp

[ugly-anarchist]

Im sorry but just because *some* categories of intersex people are in danger if they disclose that fact to a doctor, etc, doesn’t mean that having a slight hormone imbalance puts you in as much danger as admitting you’re trans to that same doctor. You’re trying to universalize exorsexism’s effects on all intersex people while also making the category as broad as possible, and the end result based on your arguments is that you want trans perisex people to put ourselves in danger out of some kind of noble selflessness. Sorry, but sometimes it really is materially safer if I just say “I don’t menstruate for hormonal reasons” than “I don’t menstruate because I’m a trans woman” when asked by a nurse, and it’s upsetting to me that you’d frame any trans woman who protects herself that way as somehow exorsexist

The fact that you're calling intersexism exorsexism is really telling.

You do realize that doctors especially are prone to enacting violence on intersex bodies right? You do know that plenty of intersex people (myself included) were forced/coerced into hormones to "fix" our intersex variations, right?

It's not about moral selflessness, you're just denying intersexism, making it seem like less of a problem, and implying that trans people are in more danger than intersex people. You are not. Intersexism is a very severe issue and victims of it often don't make it out unscathed.

Like one of the main perpetuators of intersexism are medical providers. It's 100% safer to disclose your trans status to a doctor than it is to disclose the fact that you're intersex. There are doctors who are accepting of being trans and even specific doctors that provide medical care to trans people. But currently, the main way to deal with intersex people that is accepted and encouraged in the medical field is to treat our bodies as disordered. 99% of doctors either don't know the word intersex or actively refuse to use it and are more than willing to coerce you into taking hormones to fix you.

You do realize that these nurses you are lying about being intersex to fully believe your body is disordered and needs to be fixed, right? You're opening yourself up to so much potential shit because there's doctors who will refuse to treat you unless you accept the "treatment" they've offered for your disorder they assume you have. There's also doctors who will 100% just straight up fucking lie to you and prescribe you medication and not tell you the real effects of said medication, specifically so they can trick you into mutilating your body for the sake of adhering to the sex binary.

Like, for fucks sake, how many times do intersex people have to say "please stop saying we have it better than perisex trans people" for you people to get it through your heads? How many times do I have to recite and explain the violence done to our bodies until you listen?

[ephiesoul]

So queue checks are basically telling us what requests are coming up. For example, you’d say

A beach request for X character

A do it for me request for Y character

A birthday request for Z character

Ooh! Thank you for explaining! You’re so kind! 💛

So it’s not something I’ve done before, and isn’t something I’d do unprompted, because I would never remember to do it regularly..

But I’d have no problem doing so if asked to from now on ❤️

[yay-depression]

hello! quick reminder that as all the media surrounding demi lovato’s interview where they said they were “tired” of using they/them pronouns show misleading headlines about how demi was “exhausted from using they/them” what actually happened is that demi lovato said it was exhausting having to constantly explain themselves and constantly educate people on they/them pronouns.

[crossbackpoke-check]

re last answer: please don't stop, being very unhinged about these two pretty white boys is helping distract me from the sharks losing streak rn so bring it on

https://www.tumblr.com/bondedpairs/764566430180147200?source=share

(sideblog woes but there's the link for you) anyway in the vid they talk about going over to each other's houses to have dinner and things and while that is a delicious example of their codependence i love it bc through an rpf lens there is definitely some old man ******* going on. they can have the dilfs and each other.

(someone else mentioned kept boys which i could write an essay on but i fear being Perceived™️)

anyway if you have anything to add to this please do, if not ignore me and i will hide under a rock until the stress-related insanity has worn off and i am a functioning member of society once more 😂

- @bondedpairs

ty for the video!!! and please, WRITE THE KEPT BOYS ESSAYYYY i promise i will read it with my hands over my eyes if you don’t want to be perceived. do it scared!! do it anyway!! we’ll all love you for it!!!

[tonycries]

Animals - G.S.

Synopsis. Yes, your best friend is secretly an alpha. Yes, he acts like a fúcking anímal when he rúts. No, you don’t think you’ll make it out alíve.

Pairing. Gojo Satoru x Reader

Content. MDNI, fem! oméga! reader, alpha! Gojo, rúts, best-friends-to-lóvers, creampíes, bréeding, GOJO’S POWERS, knots, MARATHON SÉX, overstím, knots, MATÍNG BÍTES, cúmplay, OMÉGAVERSE AU, pússy-spánking, héats tríggered, semi-public, matíng press, oraI (fem), slight bondagé, pet names, swéaring.

Word count. 7.0k (uh-oh)

A/N. Nanami always gets the short end of the stick LMAO, anyway hope y’all have the loveliest week <3

“Satoru, you’re being strange.”

Granted, Gojo Satoru acting weird wasn’t anything new. 

Especially not when he’s two hours deep into the most droning meeting you’d bribed him into attending as of late - knee bouncing, fingers tapping, head turned towards that firmly shut door like he just wanted to escape. Needed to. 

Then again, even you found your attention waning. Finding whispering with your best friend much more interesting than whatever latest mission statistic Yaga had to present. 

“M’doing just peachy, sweetheart.” Gojo smiles - but it looks stilted, pained. And even through his blindfold, you already knew his snowy brows were furrowed. “Who’s the one not listening to ol’ man Yaga now?”

You scoff, narrowing your eyes down at his figure beside you - draped over the cool mahogany table as if he owned the place. “Well- you better not be faking sick to get out of this meeting. Again.”

He only hums, “Don’t worry your pretty lil’ h-head about it, m’kay?”

With a final, tired rub at your temples, you’re turning back to Nanami to ask for all the world where Yaga was on his fifty-page report now-

And then, it hits you.

Suddenly.

Something smells sweet.

Like candy - particularly that sugary, strawberry-flavored kind you’ve had to tell Gojo off on more than one occasion for eating too many of. Tilting your head just a bit, you think you could also catch hints of honey and pine, such a strange, hypnotic combination.

“S-Satoru…” your words come out in a syrupy gush, feeling your head whirl.

“Hm?”

And despite yourself, you’re taking in deep, heavy inhales of the air surrounding you. Hungry. Mouth salivating as that heady, perfumed whiff clouds up all your senses. “Do you- hah- what is- do you smell-”

“Ngh- no?” he’s cutting you off with a barely-audible groan, one you probably wouldn’t have even caught if your abilities weren’t so sharpened right now. Gojo’s movements seem sluggish, languid as if he was moving through molasses when he raises up one hand to massage the back of his neck.

You can only watch as his head droops down onto the long table with a wince. 

Strange. If you didn’t know any better, you’d have almost thought- 

No, there was no time to be entertaining wild conspiracies. Because at this very moment you’re too caught up flitting through the dates of all your previous heats in your mind. Urgently. 

Three weeks.

Your next heat wasn’t due for another three weeks. So, sure, you didn’t take your suppressants just yet but, that really didn’t matter, did it?

It wasn’t normal for jujutsu sorcerers to be anything other than a beta - and as an omega, you knew firsthand just how difficult it was to fight tooth and nail just to be able to sit at this table. 

Historically, any other faction of society would rather be caught dead than outed, and have their second gender be taken advantage of by the very curses you were supposed to exorcize. Forced to face the stigma of alphas and omegas being too “unstable” or “vulnerable” to be trusted with missions.

This was the very thing you’d been trying to avoid ever since you argued your way into studying at Jujutsu Tech - losing control. 

Especially now.

But god, you were burning up. It smelled so sexy.

And, taking a sweeping glance around the table of betas - at your fellow sorcerers, those grim elders, and your disheveled best friend - that left only you to explain the scent.

You were only thankful that their noses weren’t as powerful as yours. Clinging onto this as a saving grace, with a shaky gulp, you gently nudge Nanami on his side. “Hey- Ken?”

“Yes?” And maybe it was the heat - whatever this was - but Nanami’s deep baritone sends shivers down your spine, and you find yourself leaning in traitorously closer to his heated body. His jaw ticks, “Is something wrong? You look…”

“Satoru’s also-”

“So what?”

Without warning, one of his hands comes to splay out across your forehead. Just a mere touch has him sucking in a sharp gasp, “You feel warm, I think you have a fever. You can’t continue the meeting like this.” 

You shake your bleary head in protest. 

“I won’t let you.” Nanami’s voice hardens with a tone of finality, and yet, you still find yourself trying to whirl around to look at Gojo. Maybe for help, maybe for a distraction to escape when your colleague speaks again - this time directed at Yaga. “Principal Yaga, it seems my dear friend here is sick.” Circling an arm around your shoulders to pull you up from your seat and onto weak legs. “If you’ll please excuse us, I will escort-”

Nanami stills - everything stills. 

Everyone stills when his voice tapers off with a ragged grunt, and you feel his chest heave in unsteady breaths. So close now that you can mark the exact moment Nanami’s eyes widen, “Are you…”

Shit. 

Shit shit shit-

“Wait.” Yaga’s voice bellows reproachfully. “Is this- That smell-” But even he can’t find the words, slumping back down into his seat.

Truly, the scent was so saturated now, so primal that even the most stubborn of unmated betas were sneaking peeks at you. You bite your lips raw at another glossy gush from your already-heated cunt. It was so embarrassing - your heats have never acted like this before, let alone come three weeks early.

Sure, perhaps that one time on your very first day at Jujutsu Tech itself - which was embarrassing by itself. And, yet, your mind had never been clearer than it was right now. 

Eyes sliding over to a familiar, trembling mop of white hair - never been needier. 

Fuck, what was your delirious self thinking-

As if drawn by an invisible string, Nanami’s inching impossibly into your hot proximity, hazel eyes falling half-lidded when he takes in a deep whiff. Grumbling, “My love-” Another. And another. Nose almost grazing your pulse now, “-you’re in-”

Slam!

“Out.”

It’s a threat.

That was the first thought that slammed into you, and then the voice continues, slow, snarling like a predator on the edge of ripping something to shreds. “I won’t repeat myself.”

Before you finally understand, it’s a command.

There’s one strong hand around your front, pinning you against a sculpted chest. Something about it has your pulse booming in your ears, fingers clawing at that pale wrist at your shoulder. Yet, he doesn’t even flinch.

Nanami, however, reluctantly detaches his hands from your body, and you finally have enough strength to look towards the origin of the words. Only for your glassy gaze to meet with a towering Gojo Satoru standing at his full height - when did he even get up? 

Jaw clench, sharp canines bared, blindfold dangling haphazardly around his neck - ah, he looked like a man that crawled from hell and back simply to take you all along with him. 

With you at lucky number one. 

First in his line of sight. Close enough that you can finally smell him. 

Oh.

Oh. 

And you swear you saw his eyes tint with the faintest blue lightning when your own scent perks up. Boring into you for just a millisecond before narrowing his gaze down at a stupefied Nanami, cracking the kinks in his neck. “Unless ya wanna watch.” He bares the rest of the room with his flooring glare, “Unless all of you want to watch.”

It’s chaos. 

They understood - perhaps long before even you did. 

Chairs clatter, the desk trembles, and that safe haven of the door is swung open. That weezing council of elders are first to stumble over one another into the hallway, Yaga following shortly with a wordless sigh. 

Until the only ones left are you and him - and Nanami.

Blond brows raising, his eyes flit frantically between you and a possessive Gojo. Sputtering out, each word jagged, and dry as if they’re being wrenched from his chest. “What is the meaning of this- We- I thought you were a- a beta.” 

Everyone did, and Nanami was speaking what your mind couldn’t right now. 

Gojo Satoru always presented himself as a beta - never affected by your heats, never disappearing once every few months for his ruts as you remember Suguru did. He always seemed so normal - perhaps the one thing about him that was. Unaffected by the stupid little trials and tribulations of alphas and omegas in sorcery. 

But it was undeniable, he was an alpha. 

And taking a deep inhale of his saccharine sweet perfume - so overpowering - he might just be the strongest you’ve ever encountered. How fitting.

“You thought.” Gojo’s voice was clipped, rumbling with a low growl that sent electrifying shivers down to your very cunt. And his tone just makes Nanami jolt. “And I can’t right now so I- fuck-”

Gojo’s body wracks with a violent shudder, making him hunch over - with you in tow. His hot breath puffs out in feverish pants near your ear, abs clenching as another velvety wave of pheromones emit from him. 

You mewl when your body is jostled in his toned arms, nudging the very curve of your ass - tight uniform skirt hiking up just enough - so that you push in a slow drag against something rock-hard. Massive. Weeping out in a sticky damp spot that seeps into your skin. 

“Hah-” you’re gasping, face swirling to nose up the crook of his neck - where the candied scent was most prominent. “Toru–”

There’s a gasp - and it’s not from you this time. 

Both you and Gojo are snapping your dazed heads upwards at a frozen Nanami, his hand shooting to cover his nose. Eyes wild- “I-”

Before thinking better of it, it seems like Nanami opted to keep some part of his sanity as he abruptly turns on his heels without a second glance backwards. Marching robotically, the only moment he stops is once he’s at the doorway. One hand tugging on his suddenly too-tight pants, the other on the doorknob. Eyes still trained forwards when he calls out gruffly, “Don’t break the table, insurance doesn’t cover it.”

SLAM!

Finally alone.

Your vision swims - is the door even locked? Is this- God, you feel hot. So hot - too hot.

And Gojo’s burning up, arms wrapping around you so tight that you could feel the way his skin flushed with a thin sheen of sweat. He breathes out into your ear, “My pretty girl…”

“Oh sh-shit–” you’re whimpering, big fat tears welling up behind your eyes. And without wasting a second, as soon as it splatters hotly on your best friend’s skin, he licks a long, lazy stripe to lap at the hazy saltiness. Babbling away, “Feel so dizzy hngh- and you- you’re an alpha?”

Honestly, part of you still didn’t want to believe it.

But as soon as he husks out a gravelly moan, as soon as his tongue dips down a wet pathway to the scent gland on your neck - you already know you won’t be making it out of this alive. “Why did you hide it from me?”

“Mhm- fuck! m’sorry.” he grunts into your skin, slightly muffled. Nipping ever-so-slightly, “M’sorry m’sorry- had to- my sudden rut made my- hah, made my pretty omega go into heat, didn’t it?”

His soft palms glide down your trembly body, greedily kneading every dip and curve that comes his way. He’s lost. So, so lost. 

Plastering his lips down every inch of skin he could reach, that sweet scent sticking to you like a sloppy second skin. And you can barely even think when you feel his swollen dick just twitch behind you, a fresh wave of swelteringly hot precum sloshing right through your silken skirt.

You whimper when you’re rutting messily back and forth, and he drags a thick thumb to pry your spit-glossed lips open. “Aww, poor baby. Tell me- fuck tell me what you want, sweetheart.”

And all you can really give him right now is a circular swivel of your hips, which evidently wasn’t enough. 

Because Gojo’s furious tip only hardens, and he hisses with a slight tug up your skirt. Cold fingers dancing ravenously up the edge of your drenched panties, gliding the very rounded tip of his index slowly across your sopping slit. 

“Tha’s not enough.” he snickers, and suddenly you’re hit with another wave of emanating pheromones. Enough to make you just slobber a glistening coating all down his long digits. “Use your ah- w-words like a big girl now. Because when I start…” His teeth find your earlobe, and his fingers find themselves planting a dripping wet slap! across your puffed-up clit. Unwavering. Unapologetic. “I won’t be able to stop.”

“Please, Toru.” That cute little nickname makes him jump, makes him throw his head back with a low moan. Brows scrunching together as if pained. “Don’t want you to stop-”

Maybe you were going to say more - maybe you would’ve called him that nickname and driven him even crazier. 

But Gojo doesn’t wait to find out. 

In one, fluid motion he’s picking up your body into the easiest princess carry you two would’ve laughed at if this was one of those romcoms you watched together. Just splaying you out on your back across the cool table, he situates himself in the perfect position between your legs. 

Oh, how he loved this view. How he’s spent so many ruts just like this imagining this view.

“F-fuck- You have no idea how- how crazy it drove me.” rasping groans drag out from his throat, strained with every slow drag of his cock down the front of your now-see-through panties. “How wild-” You’re nearly screaming when his canines dig in to that soft spot underneath your ear. “-to pretend I didn’t know you smelled so hah- so fucking delicious.”

And then you feel him still - alert, ready.

Chest heaving, an almost chilling tone dipping into his words when he spits, “Except when you smell like him.”

Your jaw falls slack when the temperature in the room heats up another few heady degrees, and the sheer power of your two scents mixing together is almost maddening. 

“He- he? Toru, what do you-” you’re gasping out in tiny huffs, while he busies himself with biting and licking down your exposed neck. Enough to leave you smeared all over with marks. “Who- Kento?”

“Oh, sayin’ another man’s name when you’re with- fuck- me?” Gojo’s bucking powerfully into you, his body was pinning you down. Scorching, now. “Such a naughty omega- I should kill him for how he touched you.”

Truly, his alpha was fucking clawing at him to trek out of this room right now and finish off the job - but, no, you were too hypnotic. And Gojo Satoru, the strongest, was no match for you.

The wet thwack of his fingers once more kisses in a rude smack against your clit, making you squeal. Ringing across your thundering ears, he swears at that broken, blissful noise from you. “Fuckin’ oh, would ya let him see you like this, too? Let him touch you like th-this?”

And Gojo looked so starved, velvety blindfold tickling your chin when he leans in close. Lips ghosting your own - but not quite. You’re suddenly brought back to the very first thought you had - that this is about to be a bloodbath. 

“I wouldn’t–” you bite back in your honeyed tone, and you can feel your omega just purr in satisfaction. “N’ it’s not my fault that someone-”

Smack! Harder, sprinkled with tiny bolts of electricity.

“Correct.” 

It’s breathed out into your mouth - a quick, hedonistic peck. Gojo just taunting your sanity before he’s pulling away with a gruff string of profanity, like it hurt him just as much as it did to you. 

You feel your slick dribble down into a saturated puddle below you. And the mere sight of it makes Gojo just reel his hips deliriously forwards, grinding his massive bulge across your dripping cunt until you could see it soil a fountainy dark patch on his pants. 

“F-fuckin’-” his eyes roll to the back of his head at how hot you were. How pouring wet. Wrangling your quivering legs painfully stretched open, “-woman of my dreams.”

With two, thick fingers hooked over the hem of your skirt, it’s being torn off in an easy pull. Falling somewhere in a pile of impractical tatters onto the meeting room floor, along with your shirt.

And as soon as it’s off, Gojo’s only growing more feral. More hungry. 

He’s drooling from one corner of his mouth, but he doesn’t even notice at this point. Honestly, barely even realizing the burning pain when he falls to the floor on his knees. Clattering haphazardly, insatiably nosing up your jittery inner thighs. 

“Oh sweetheart- oh my pretty girl. My pretty, pretty girl–” he’s breathing out, head lolling drunkenly against your legs. And Gojo gulps when he spreads your panties away with a wet glide of his thumb, just enough to see your messy hole winking up at him eagerly. All soaked and needy. “M’gonna have so much fun being yours.”

He kisses wetly through your panties - without warning, without even breathing. Just surging his pretty face into the heated crevice between your thighs, taste buds on his pinkish tongue grazing up the soaked fabric.

Like he was addicted.

“Oh- oh my god-” you’re mewling out, lower lip wobbly at every sultry swirl of Gojo’s tongue over your pussy lips, painting your messy hole in every mesh of slick and spit he could conjure up. “It feels too- hah–”

You were always so sensitive during your heats, every single one of your senses heightened to the max. So it made your mind all overwhelmingly melty inside to have his steaming hot mouth on your equally ravenous cunt. Hungry.

Yeah, he was addicted.

Dragging a few fingers in-between your glistening folds, scissoring them shamefully open to spit. Once. Twice. 

Some of it splatters strayly onto the start of your thighs, which Gojo glady licks up all over again to stream out a thick wad back onto your silt. Until your cunt was drooling translucent dredges of everything he has to give, he smears his messy thumb in easy rotations around your clit. Filthy. 

“So gorgeous- so good f’me.” Gojo titters, biting down teasingly on the very edge of your panties. And he can’t hide that fucked-out little groan when pulls it back, back, back to just snap! it meanly right on your cunt. “Fuck- you taste as s-sweet as you smell, mmm–”

You’re yelping when his long tongue draws a slow circle around the edge of that first ring of muscle, just barely pushing back against how your gummy walls are trying to hug him. To milk him for everything he has.

“S-such a tease-” you whine, fingers tangling into his cloudy white hair. Soft - the silken tresses smoothed over your palm, slotting between your digits when you pull his mouth roughly onto your pussy. “Jus’ want you on me- ngh!”

“Ohh ya can still t-talk easy, huh?” Gojo raises an amused brow from in-between your legs, that won’t be possible soon with how he’s going to have you. “Well then, don’t you dare beg me to go easy on you, girl.”

And he keeps the panties on - fuck, he keeps the panties on when mashing those ragged, rosy lips of his in a steamy make-out with your cunt. It’s as if he was breathing you in, so close that you could feel every clench of Gojo’s jaw, every grind of his chin into the very base of your pussy. 

“Sh-shitttt-” he spits, stray wisps of white covering his eyesight. Dragging you on his tongue through pure instinct. “Shit wait- ah you’re so fuckin’ so-”

Unable to even finish his sentences with that usually-sharp tongue of his. No, that tongue right now was too occupied with the steady, repetitive drag along your snug channel. Bullying into your sodden sensitive spots, thrusting back and forth back and forth back and-

And his fingers, oh those infamous fingers were straying back onto the sensitive nub of your clit. Drawing tight, tempestuous circles that have you keening at the dual stimulation, thighs stuttering to an embarrassed close. 

“Open.”

It’s just like before - and Gojo’s using that annoyingly baritone tone of his that hits you at your very core, that makes your omega snap open your legs for him.

Even you’re surprised at how pliant your body acts before your mind right now - and so is Gojo. though, his expression doesn’t show it, every bit of that feral animal that scared everyone out of this room not too long ago. 

“That’s it- that’s it–” he can’t hold back, hands glued to the globes of your ass to pin you still against his mouth. “Ha- so fuckin’ different when ya listen to me, so fucking sweet.” Breathing in deeply, “Were ya giving off this scent so Nanami could do this, too?” 

Thwack!

Another mocking slap against your clit - not enough to make you cry, but with just enough buzzing jujutsu to make your batting lashes teary - forces you to find your words. 

And fuck, Gojo swears there’s no sweeter music than the sound of your voice - especially when you’re moaning like that. 

Voice breaking into a whine, accompanied by a few raw clenches of your pussy around his furious tongue. “N-no fuck- don’t know-” your hips arch into the most perfect curve he’s ever seen. One that makes his mouth water, cock straining against his pants. “Toru- jus’ want you, wanna cum- wanna- want you so bad.”

Fuck - and who was he to not go along with each and every one of your pretty whims?

Pussydrunken already. He’d read about this - but he really had no clue how potent an omega in heat was, never having spent a rut with one. That little special occasion was always saved for you but, ah, that was a story for another time.

“M’gonna cum- hah- so- close-” 

Right now, he couldn’t think of anything other than how gorgeous you would look when you cum. How delicious - your sweetened scent raising up by a few notches, taking over his sentences. 

He feels his cock just throb at the mere thought.

Which is why Gojo’s pulling away with one final, sodden kiss on your pussy. You feel the curvaceous curl of his smirk against your cunt, and a deep, filthy inhale. 

“Nah.” he smiles a glistening smile up at you - grin glossed all over with a sheen of your sweet, sweet juices. And the rest of his face was almost-obscured with a curtain of his white bangs, but you still think you could peek the glow of his inhuman eyes through them. Powerful. “Don’ think you’re c-cumming anywhere other than on my knot first, pretty girl.”

And he’s so tall that Gojo’s blocking out the dim meeting room lights when he stands up - slow, smug, making you spend each passing second in such anticipation. 

Face expressionless - almost hypnotized - when he shrugs his shirt off. Lips parted into a soft oh! eyes half-lidded, heaving he slides his belt off almost lazily. 

It clatters! to the ground, and he’s sliding down his drenchingly wet boxers with it - leaving a gleaming trail of precum down the front of his toned pelvis. Letting his achy cock finally spring free, he hisses when it hits the too-cool air. 

And you do, too - though, for much different reasons. 

Because Gojo’s so unfairly big - fitting, for an alpha of his stature. Blushed the prettiest pink at his rotund head that matched his cheeks right now, gradiating down into creamy tufts of white at his thick base. Showing the starting of his knot swelling. It made you wonder whether he tasted as sweet as he smelled. So hard it looked painful, curving into a long, solid shaft that glides a wet smear across his washboard abs. It makes your omega just preen, rabid to have him inside you right now now now-

“Heh, impatient lil’ thing, aren’t ya, sweetheart?” Gojo huffs out in a heady bout of laughter. “Can practically feel yer omega ngh- calling out to me, is this what you want?”

You claw ferally at the milky display of his back, branding him in your own way. “Yes- please-” 

A sudden rip! makes you realize you still had your panties on - up until a few seconds ago, at least. Jostling him ever-so-slightly closer, you mewl when the rounded tip of his angry cock nudges against your pussy lips. Melding into a slight kiss that already makes him stream steaming hot ropes of precum.

And if you were in any better state of mind maybe you’d have noticed the way the light above flicker, fizzing with electricity just as much as you were right now. 

“Heheh- oh y-you made me like this, ya realize?” he chuckles out - but his voice didn’t show even a hint of humor. It’s like he was out of control, out of rationality with each languid drag in-between your folds. Babbling, “You threw me into- fuck fuck fuck this is all- your-”

Honestly, Gojo’s so utterly shocked he managed to grit even half that sentence out. 

Because every sloppy second has him grinding upwards in the tiniest of ruts into your sung cunt, tiny, mindless grinds that make a low ah! ah! ah! rip from his throat. 

“Open that mouth f’me, sweetness-”

As soon as you do, you’re feeling a thick, glossy stream of saliva slosh onto your lolling tongue. Mouth wrenched shut until you swallow - and you do. Happily. Filthily. 

That’s enough to make Gojo lose it. 

And he’s plunging headfirst into your toasty insides, shoving back that tiny bit of resistance before your elastic walls are milking him so well. Greedily swallowing up every one of his generous inches, and it only seemed like more was to come.

“Oh shit- ohhh sh-shit-” His eyes are rolling to the very back of his head, mouth hanging open, that tiny trickle of drool splatters onto your skin. 

“T-Toruu—” your cunt was addictive, and so were those moans of yours. Craning your neck upwards, “Kiss me, please.”

For a second, he’s leaning in - making it seem like he was about to smear that firmly placed gloss all over his lips onto yours. But Gojo only sneaks a peck at the corner of your mouth, then the other - and then one on the tip of your nose. 

“I will I will-” he’s musing, giggles bursting from his lips. “Once we’ve mated, can’t get too greedy at once now? Can I?”

But oh how his actions spoke otherwise, because Gojo’s powerful hips absolutely refused to stop until he was well and fully buried into the hot depths of your cunt. Sheathing himself in all your soppingly wet walls, the sheer tightness was enough for him to throw his head back, heavy balls squeezing. In and out in and out. 

“Ohhh fuck-” Two hands of his roughly attach themselves to your hips, pitching up your needy whines when he drools down your pussy even more thoroughly. “You sure do make it f-fuckin’ hard though-”

You whine when your ass hits against something bulging and hot, whirling those dazed eyes of yours down at the intrusion. 

“Shit-” you’re gasping, eyes widening. And the sheer awe in your eyes is enough to make him grow, blood pumping to every thick inch of his cock until he was expanding even girthier, molding your pliant walls to his size. “That’s your knot- I-I-”

“I-I-I-” Gojo mocks, in a voice octaves higher than usual. Fucking the rest of that sentence with a harsh roll of his hips, knocking bruisingly at your cervix. “C’mon now ah- tell me- you can t-tell me anything.” Kissing softly at your ear lobe, zaps of jujutsu making you jump. “M’your best friend, right?”

How ironic.

All you can gift him in response is a few soft whimpers that only make him wilder.

“Fuck!” you’re keening when another one of his slams leave you gasping for air, feeling like he was clashing into your very womb. Glissading a deep, wet glide of his fat, curved tip across your spongy cervix, his breath hitches at the slight recoil. “I want it-” 

Your words make him almost falter with his ruthless pace, and you take it upon yourself to just drag him down by his muscled shoulders. Until he was hunching over you, abs flexing against your front, “I want your hah- knot in m-”

And you can’t even finish the sentence - you don’t know if you want to.

Because just that syrupy jumble of words is enough to make Gojo Satoru snap. 

To cut you off with a rough growl, teeth bared at you, in a split-second he has you limp legs thrown over his shoulder. Biceps flexing in such a mouth-watering way when he makes them lock at the ankle, bending down, down, down into the meanest little mating press your joints would allow. 

The change in angle has you scrambling - has him scrambling to crash his leaky head into your swollen g-spot. Hitting that bulging bullseye with no regrets - over. And over. And over and over and-

“Oh, marry me sweetheart.” he’s panting into your mouth. His pulsing girth rummaging your insides so good, dragging every ridge and thumping vein on his shaft against your sweet spots. He was so big that you felt like your syrupy cunt had already forgotten what it felt like without him pounding into you. Suckling wetly at the corner of your lips, “Marry me marry me- oh, fuck- gonna give you m-my knot. Don’ think I could go on hah- l-living without ya, pretty.”

He was feral - eyes glowing a blazing blue, sparks of lightning bolting down his milky skin. And you swear with each speeding cadence of his, the lights flickered on and off. 

Every slippery smack of his tight, cum-filled balls has you seeing stars, yearning for the additional burning stretch of being plugged by his knot. 

You’re throwing your arms over his neck, reeling him in like he was your prey, though his hips were devouring you. “W-we’re not even dating and you want me t-to be your hngh-”

“-wife!” He kisses every inch of your face, down your neck, over that soft scent gland of yours - now so overstimulating his senses with your sweet scent that he’s almost forgotten what his own smelled like. Buzzes of electricity skimming down your skin with each touch. He’s groaning, “Be my wife- please- fuck, I need you to be my wife.” Planting an almost-french kiss on that one sweet spot. Once. twice. “M-my mate- sh-shit-”

And you already knew Gojo was close with the way his pretty eyes are almost fluttering shut, the way his hefty balls clamp. Twitching in desperation, his thickened base pumps in even deeper - harder. As if he was trying to rut every single inch into your clingy depths. 

Every single inch.

“Mhm–” you moan, feeling the staggering stretch of his even hotter cock shape your walls. “I wanna- wanna be your-”

You don’t even bother finishing your sentence - and neither does Gojo let you.

Because it only takes a few more sloppy jackhammers before he’s finally sinking his taut knot into you. The stretch is so insane you feel your eyes roll to the back of your head, being plugged so suddenly full. 

And then you’re hurtling headfirst into your high - toes curling, white-hot pleasure flashing behind your eyes, your spine bowing so sluttily into his. And Gojo-

Oh, Gojo had his mouth sagging open the moment he felt his massive knot intrude against your silken sweet walls, stretching that snug channel around all of him. And he wishes he had the willpower to look down at the heavenly sight, he wishes he could do anything but sink his teeth down hard into your precious scent gland as he cums and cums and cums. 

The lights burst, shards deflecting off the limitless he’d coated over the both of you. 

Teeth breaking skin, metal tasting on his tongue, scents tangling together into one now.

You do your best to bite him back on his heady neck, breaking through Gojo’s milky skin to reveal a set of pretty pink indents.

Finally yours. Finally his. 

“O-oh, pretty girl–” he hiccups, voice cracking. Hips not moving even the tiniest second of momentum while he stuffs your tight pussy full of his potent seed. “My wife- my mate.”

And Gojo almost bawls when the tight lock of his knot prevents him from plunging into you as deeply and thoroughly as he wanted to right now. Sobbing down big fat tears that splatter! against your lips while he kisses your mind dizzy.

You could feel the syrupy slosh of his cum inside you with each one of his dragged-out grinds, milking your orgasm for as long as possible. Unmoving. Unapologetic in how he was spitting out such voluminous loads of milky white seed that overfilled you. 

“Shit- so much-” you’re whining, still clinging to him. And you don’t think he even hears you right now, mind blanking. “I feel so full, Toru-”

But you didn’t have to babble out those words for him to know, somehow, he just knew. Knew every single thing about you, but couldn’t dredge up the words to respond.

Too pussydrunken to do anything but bite you on your scent gland all over, he kisses a wet trail up to your lips, “Now you- really hafta m-marry me heh.”

Bang! 

Gojo’s fist comes crashing down on the rickety table - it’s too much for him.

Those ringing squelches and the way you were sucking out every single drop of his cum makes his sensitive shaft twitch. Tears blimping up into his eyes again, more and more velvety ribbons ooze out. “My wife- my wife my wife my wife- my mate-”

It’s just about all he can say - like a mantra. Over and over against your lips, until the peaks of your pleasure turn into mere tingles, until Gojo’s own knot is softening down. Slightly.

Just enough that he can pull out-

“Toru, what-”

“Shhh, pretty girl-” He’s kissing your puffed-up clit with another spank from his trembly fingers, and then an actual kiss. Mouth slotting over the mess he’s made below. Grazing all over like a creamy gloss. Filthy. “Rut’s just started.”

His ravenous tongue drags out your overstimulated high, and you’re clinging onto a lock of his snowy hair for dear life. 

“Please-” you beg, voice shot. You don’t even know what you were begging for, but god was Gojo Satoru happy to let himself be used. “Please please please, Toru-”

Oh, his fingers tighten on your thighs - imprinting neat patterns of crescents. Animalistic, in how Gojo just drags your twitchy body forwards.

His eyes were drooping shut, gaze crazed - frantic where he looked you right in the eyes from down below. Head craning to ram his stretchy tongue even deeper, quirking up deftly like he’s wanting to bruise his taste buds along your walls. 

Slurping at and collecting the creamy mess on his tongue - only to spit it back into your sloppy hole. Messy. 

Even with the dark, lightless room - with only those stray sparks of power to accompany you two - such loud squelches echo across his own ears. And just by the noise Gojo could tell how wet you were - as if you weren’t drooling over the lower half of his face, up to his cheekbones, already. 

Sticking to your inner thighs in an obscene drip! drip! drip!

It’s so shameful and you love it. 

And you love that you’re so cockdrunken that you aren’t even sure when you’re cumming - if you’re cumming. Whether those sudden crashes of pleasure were because of your nth orgasm tonight, or because of the way Gojo kisses you with another thwack!

Adrenaline and electricity coursing through your veins, ears thundering with your rapid pulse. Oh god, you never knew a heat could feel this good - this maddening. 

You moan, and he’s eagerly lapping up every sweet bead of slick you have to offer, like a man that hasn’t had an ounce of water in weeks. Brows furrowed, jaw sagging open-

“Shit shit shit-” he’s rasping out, and the very slide of his fingers across your skin sends waves of powerful jujutsu - somehow bunching at your clit just right. “M’cumming- m- m’still cumming fuck- won’t- stop-”

Just as soon as your orgasm is ending, Gojo’s is just starting. Like he’d been holding back on this from the moment he’d started eating out your overspilling pussy - happily. 

And exactly on time, too, because you barely even have the time to catch your breath before Gojo’s standing on his two unsteady feet. Just splitting you open on all of his red, raw inches - uncaring for your little mewls and those tears. 

Because you were sucking him up madly. 

Spearheading his swollen cock into you like he was trying to fuck another orgasm out of you. His strokes are long, harsh, showing off all the years of strength he built up boasting the title of the strongest. 

And this hastily put-together mating press has his cum just overspilling out of you by now, dribbling down in wet globs that made you wonder how much more he could fill you up. It seeps in a white circle underneath your ass, slicking you back and forth along the wood at each harsh ram. 

Again. And again. And again and again and-

“Made me this- hngh- this way, y’know?” he spits into your mouth - followed by a slurred string of swears. Every time his heftily smacking balls clench, you could feel the table creak under pressure. “Sat next to me with that fucking skirt- smelling so fucking- ngh- good- do you even know how delicious ya are?”

You can’t answer - because he’s back to squeezing in his staggering knot into you. Sparks exploding out from the corner of his scrunched-up eyes, forehead knocking into yours.

Gojo kisses you like he couldn’t get enough, letting you taste all the sin from just before. 

“Three weeks away, huh?” That accusatory little inflection in his words isn’t lost on you, only growing stronger and stronger as his staccato grows sloppier. “Have your- hah- heat in three weeks and fuck- I could just- smell it on you-”

It’s incredible. Sliding your frenzied bodies across on another, stinging with skin-on-skin and how your gooey walls constricted around him.

“Showing off in that scent and that skirt-” His eyes are almost bulging out of his head now, hips stuttering like just the very thought of that pile of fabric at the corner of the room drove him mad. “-fuck that skirt- always fuckin’ hated it. Hated how Nanami loves hngh- it. Made me lose fucking control a-and you know what?”

One of his hands curls around your throat now, the other taking hold of your left - kissing your ring finger pointedly. “I’ll do it all over again if it means I’d get to have ya like this, my mate.”

And just then he’s coating your melty insides in a creamy sheen, that overworked divot right at the end of his dick was firmly pressed up against your g-spot. Plugging you with his knot, and you swear you could see a little inflation forming where he was filling you to your limits. 

Cumming and cumming so hard it’s like he couldn’t stop - didn’t want to stop until his body practically forced him.

Gojo’s biting down hard exactly over those deep indents on your scent glands when his gushing spurts of seed turn into almost-painful blanks. 

Over and over, he’s cumming nothing. 

“L-love you, Toru-” you’re babbling out, reeling him in to peck the corners of his smirking mouth. 

Utterly fucked out of your mind enough that you don’t even register the loud boom! from somewhere in the distant grounds of Jujutsu Tech. Barely even care that the overpriced meeting table is now sagging on one side, just about in splinters. 

“Aww, m-my c-cockdrunk baby–” he titters shakily into your glossed-pout. “Love you, too, always have always- will-”  Patting the bulge on your stomach, before kissing you gently, “Ever since I th-threw ya into heat the ngh- first time ya met me.”

Oh. 

And later, you’ll learn that that almost-deafening boom was the generator for Jujutsu Tech, mysteriously bursting after a sudden spike in atomic pressure in the surrounding area. You’ll find out that every piece of furniture in the surrounding buildings had moved about six inches in your direction, and that the now-ruined table was an irreplaceable heirloom.

But for now, all you register is soft. 

Warm. 

With a gasp you realize you’re in a bedroom - Gojo’s bedroom.

“Did- did you teleport-”

“Mhm-” he pants, and in the dim lighting you could spot his leering grin. Satisfied. Pussydrunken. And you could feel his knot swell up hotly, halfway through to its previous size. 

You sputter, trying so desperately to find the words. Difficult, when Gojo still had you wrapped around his thick cock, all the way up to his fat, drenched base. Swiveling his cock in slow, sultry grinds for how much he couldn’t ram exactly how he wanted to right now. “Wh-why didn’t you do this before–?”

“Because-” he licks over his mating mark on you. “-wanted to show off what animals we were.” His grin grows wider, as does his tired cock. And that dangling blindfold around his neck ends up around your wrists, tying you up pliantly for him. “What animals we will be.”

---

Right now, all Nanami can think about is you you you- Yet,he doesn’t expect to see you for about the next week. Or, at least, that’s the hopeful side of him - knowing Gojo, and the state he’d left the meeting room in, he won’t see you again for a month. 

Possibly not walking.

Perhaps, that’s for the best. Looking down at his swollen, throbbing cock - one fist wrapped around its thick base, the other around his shaky phone, he clicks on that familiar app. 

Shit, his rut is near. Now, actually. 

Nanami sighs, it’s hard pretending not to be animals.

A/N. Was soooo giggling writing about how the table was some heirloom.

Plagiarism not authorized.

[prkhaven]

TEACHER’S PET -p.sh-

pairing— professor!sunghoon x star uni. student fem!reader

genre: smut minor do not interact, professor x student, age gap(sunghoon is in mid/late 20s while reader is in early 20s), angsty, fluffy, p with plot, p with feelings, forbidden love

wc: 17.8k

-all warnings below cut-

warnings: sunghoon gets kind of mean, jealously, so much feelings, profanity, a little misunderstanding

smut warnings: unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), multiple sex scenes, praising, degradation, dirty talk, p in v, fingering, throat fucking, overstimulation, some cum eating, creampies, headlocks, dom!sunghoon(but they're both freaks), usage of nicknames(baby, good girl, sir, slut, etc.), breeding kink, dacryphilia, cock warming, oral (m+f rec. and giving)

▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄

You’re the perfect student in your university. Acing all of your courses with ease, even the hardest course known on campus taught by the strictest teacher, Mr. Park.

Everyone saw and knew you worked hard in order to achieve everything you’ve accomplished, seeing your dedication and sleepless nights in order to complete an assignment perfectly.

Everyone wished to be just like you one day as you set the curve.

Whether you decide to admit it or not, you’re utterly admired by students, staff, faculty members, and teachers.

Each time your name came across papers, it was given extra attention to detail and care to just see how marvelous you worked on it.

But there was one teacher who absolutely adored you the most. Admiring the way you attentively took notes during lectures, how you furrow your eyebrows and pout your lips as you studied, or when you would lightly chew on your pen when going over questions, to simply the way you would come to him to ask questions without a worry while others were scared to even approach him.

Mr. Park adored you as a hard working student.

He also adored the side of you that wasn’t seen as professional. The way your legs would unconsciously squish together when trying to understand something or how you squirmed under his gaze when it was just you and him but then secretly taking glances to him when you thought he wasn’t looking.

But he deeply cherished the side of you that would get him fired. The way you would drop to your knees in front of him to prove that you deserved the extra point you were missing to achieve the hundred percent you desperately wanted.

And he could forever relish in the way you usher kisses from him as you studied in his office while he graded papers or the way he folds your body over his desk as he pounds into you mercifully for getting the highest mark once again.

Oh Mr. Park loved his favorite student.

✎ᝰ。

Sunghoon’s course was a two semester course for the minimum amount of material that was crammed in there. It was known to be the hardest course to pass which meant there were very few students who decided to take the challenge(you being one of them).

But there was no other teacher that understood the material like him, he was the top professor and you were the top student.

How you and Sunghoon began the forbidden fiasco was spontaneous but not unexpected. There was obvious tension already building in-between as he would catch you looking at him with a certain glint in your eyes before shyly looking away to focus back on the lecture.

However, his favorite was whenever he’s grading papers already feeling exhausted from giving such low marks and not enough high marks but his exhaustion would instantly fade away when he’d get to yours.

He always straightens up his posture to take a moment to properly appreciate how perfect your paper is. How you not only explained every point needed to receive full credit but even added some of your own input.

But what he loved more were the little doodles you would leave scatter on your paper to indicate your boredom after finishing.

His pen would softly trace the designs with a fond smile, a thought lingering to indulge himself in the opportunity presented to him. So he would write a simple comment alongside the doodle that caught his eyes the most.

And this time around it was a simple doodle of a house sitting on a hillside with a sunset far in the distant and flowers littering the landscape.

When you received your paper back, you’d smile at the big hundred percent in bright red ink in the corner of your paper but soon caught glimpse of your professor’s comment along your doodle.

Your smile would only get bigger seeing ‘got bored?’ next to the house doodle before glancing up to your professor who gave the faintest smile ever towards you before dropping it and continued to pass out the rest of the student’s papers.

The next time you had a paper due, you made sure to complete it with ease before writing back a response to his previous comment, hoping he would respond to it.

And once again as Sunghoon was up late at night grading papers, energy already drained, he finally made it to yours and his energy skyrocketed.

As he was grading your paper, he caught the doodle you did of yourself and a surprising response to his previous comment.

‘Yeah I am. Next time you should make these just a little harder Mr. Park’

He smirked to himself with a chuckle before nodding his head in amusement. You didn’t received an hundred percent this time around, but still received the highest mark out of everyone taking his course.

But he saw this an opportunity to tease you just a little bit.

‘Next time you should make sure to get an hundred then maybe I’ll consider it’

✎ᝰ。

You made an appointment with Sunghoon during the scheduled hours to discuss the possibility of him writing a letter of recommendation for an internship you’re hoping to get into during winter break.

As you stood in front of his door, you didn’t hesitate to knock on his office door softly and you heard him mutter ‘come in’ loud enough for you to hear and when you walked in he gave you a welcoming smile.

He’s been anticipating you ever since he saw your name pop up in the long list of appointments but he wondered what you needed from him. “Good evening”

You returned his kind smile with your own, “Good evening Mr. Park”

He motioned to the chair in front of his desk which you easily took, “What can I do for you?”

“I won’t take too much of your time, I know you’re a busy professor” Sunghoon lightly chuckled in his head at your statement, he could never be too busy for you.

“I was wondering if you could possibly write me a letter of recommendation? There’s an internship I really would enjoy to attend but it requires one from a professor” You explained and you noticed how you had his full undivided attention

He nodded at every word you said before lightly clasping his hands together. “I have no issues doing so, email the information of your internship” Your smile spread across your face hearing his easy acceptance to your request but he was curious about one thing. “If I may ask, why choose to ask me for this?”

“I’m sure you’re well aware I’m not exactly the most easy going professor. And you and I both know many other professors would’ve adored to take this opportunity if you asked”

“Well that’s exactly the reason Mr. Park. You’re not easy going. If I asked another professor of mine to write one I’m sure they will gush on and on about my achievements and how wonderful of a student I am but not of me as a person and my dedication” You explained and Sunghoon felt a sense of pride in his chest but he tried push that feeling down

He shouldn’t be feeling this, you were only coming to him for a letter of recommendation. Nothing more and nothing less of that.

He gave a curt nod to your explanation before you thanked him profusely which he kindly waved off.

“I hope you’re able to have a wonderful winter break Mr. Park!” Your bright smile made his heart churn in itself but he tried so hard to shake it off

“You as well. I hope you’re able to attend your internship”

“Oh I’ll definitely get in if I have you writing my letter of recommendation” Your words weighed heavy on his shoulders and heart

✎ᝰ。

It was deep into winter break and Sunghoon was roaming through the streets on Christmas eve alone. He saw how couples were smiling as they held hands, walking by simply happy to spend the holidays together.

Now he never cared for having a relationship, having his priorities lie within his work. But there were times, times like this, that made he wonder what his life would be like if he had someone.

But he wasn’t going to dwell on something that wasn’t real. He was going about his business to head back home when he suddenly heard a familiar voice he didn’t expect to hear on Christmas eve.

He turned and saw your bundled up self making your way towards him, you looked so cute under the faint store and street lights. He shook his head from that thought and gave a confused expression to which you giggled at.

You noticed how different he looked from how you usually see him during class. Instead of his usual business attire with his rimless clear glasses, his attire now fitted to the cold weather to keep him warm, his hair out of its usual style, and his glasses long discarded.

Your heart fluttered in your chest seeing how he looked under the skylit night. There was never any denying that he was a very attractive person.

“Good evening Mr. Park” You greeted when you reached him and he gave a nod, not trusting himself to speak “What are you doing out on Christmas eve by yourself?”

“I could ask you the same thing” You chuckled slightly raising your hands up in defeat at his remark to your question

“Internship finally let me out for the next two days” His eyes blinked harsher hearing your sentence, you got the internship?

You chuckled softly at his reaction as you could read him like an open book. “Your letter of recommendation worked. I was one of the first people to receive a spot, so whatever you wrote did wonders on them” His lips curled into a smile, pleased to hear that he was able to help you

“Congratulations, I’m happy to hear that”

After his congratulation, the two of you stayed in an awkward silence. Neither sure of whether to continue the conversation or cut it off at that, but before stressing over it more the smallest snowflake fell between and caught your attention.

Both of you looked to sky to see the snowfall, realizing it was going to be a white Christmas. You smiled softly as you rested your hand out to catch the falling snow.

Sunghoon shifted his gaze from the sky onto you and saw how the moonlight and snowfall painted your eyes like you held in the universe in them.

“Do you want to have dinner?” Sunghoon’s words fell from his mouth before he could even realize what he was saying

He stopped and cursed at himself under his breath for allowing his thought to slip through his mouth and when he heard silence from you, he wanted the world to swallow him whole in that moment.

But your response is what brought him back to reality, “I would like that”

“What?”

“You asked me to dinner and I said I would like that. Don’t tell me you’re backing away from your offer Mr-“

“Please call me Sunghoon when we’re outside of school grounds” He stopped you from continuing your sentence and you held back a smile and nodded your head

“Alright then Sunghoon, what do you have in mind for dinner?”

Oh he really had done it to himself now. He was doomed.

✎ᝰ。

Your face crinkled as you laughed at something Sunghoon had said as you were leaving the restaurant. You expected the dinner to be awkward but instead it was like the two of you had known each other for years. Not a single ounce of tension was felt even though he was your professor and you were his student.

Sunghoon arrived to his car and he shot you a confused look when he saw you weren’t following. “What are you doing?”

“I’m sending you off, I have to get a taxi to go back to mine” You told and Sunghoon shook his head, what kind of monster would he be if he left you to take a taxi

“Nonsense, I’ll drive you. No need to waste money” He told before opening the passenger door for you and your heart stopped

“A-are you sure? I really don’t mind taking a taxi Mr-”

“Please I insist. And you were doing so good not calling me Mr. Park throughout the dinner” You nervously gulped as you unconsciously squished your thighs a little closer together hearing the hint of praise from him

Sunghoon took notice of you squishing your thighs after his words and he could feel his stomach crawling inside out as he tilted his neck to the side to knock some sense into himself. He couldn’t, he possibly couldn’t.

Oh but he could and he did.

Because here he was inside your place, in your bed, his body flushed in between your legs as he feverishly kissed you like no tomorrow.

He was only supposed to walk you to your front door to make sure you got in safely but what he didn’t expect was for you to crash your lips onto his the moment the clock struck 12.

“Merry Christmas Sunghoon” You mumbled against his lips and he didn’t remember the last time someone had genuinely wished him one

He knows he should’ve pushed you away, to tell you that this was wrong, that neither of you could do this. But he was twisted, sick, and messy in his head. He couldn’t get enough of your taste now that he got a sliver of it.

Your hold on him was something so desperate and needy that he couldn’t possibly let you go as the two of you found a feverish pace for the kiss. The snow falling over your bundle up bodies as the dim light shun above you two outside your front door.

Sunghoon’s arms were hesitant to wrap around you to bring you impossibly closer to him and you noticed. You wanted, needed, him to hold you the way you were clinging onto him.

You carefully brought his arms to hold you and he let out a soft noise when he finally felt you in his arms. It felt so right to have you there as if you were meant to be there in the first place (in his mind you were).

He could feel the lack of oxygen in him but he couldn’t care in the slightest. Your lips were like a paradise and he rather give up heaven if he had to just to keep tasting you.

“I need you Sunghoon” He stopped kissing you and pulled away to stare at you with wide eyes, not expecting to hear those words to ever leave your mouth

Your pupils were blown out wide as you stared up to him with a cloud of lust filling your eyes. His mind became hazy as it ran miles in a loop of the only rational thought holding onto dear life. He shouldn’t give in.

But the way your lips fit perfectly with his and the way you felt under his touch. He threw all his rationality out of the window, unable to say no to you when you’re willingly offering yourself so preciously to him.

His lips soon found a place on your jaw before tracing down to your neck in a haste. “Gonna have to do better than that to get my cock” You relished in his words as you knew this was the sign you’ve been longing for

You bit back your smirk and you let your body melt in his touch and kisses as your hands found their way to his hair to mess it up from its middle part.

“Then let me bring you inside” You whispered just loud enough for him to hear and Sunghoon forced himself to detach from you to allow you open the door

As you hastily tried to open the door wanting to get him inside as soon as possible, Sunghoon’s arms wrapped around you, allowing himself to get lost in the daze of you.

He kissed the side of your face not able to get enough of you as his thumbs rubbed circles on your coated body. Even though there was a multiple layers between you and his touch, you could still feel his touch burn your body.

When you finally opened the door, he quickly pushed you inside and locked the front door.

The moment he turned to face you, you grabbed him by the collar to kiss him once again. He chuckled against your lips as your hands began removing his layers. ��You can start taking mine off too” You mumbled and he was quick to remove the piece of clothing that prevented him from touching your skin.

The kiss became more impatient as you guided him towards your room, neither of your lips breaking from each other. You had your hands mixed in his hair as his hands roamed over your body, trying memorize every single crevice on your body.

When you made it to your room, you knocked the door open and broke off the kiss to push him onto your bed with a pant. Sunghoon looked to you to take a moment to properly comprehend that this was actually happening.

Your eyes darting over him to burn how you had your professor sitting on your bed burned into your memory.

As your eyes found his, you slowly began to remove your shirt and Sunghoon’s eyes never left yours. You gulped as you discarded your shirt somewhere leaving you in your bra as you took off your pants.

He was trying everything in his willpower to not look anywhere else besides your eyes as you were removing your last piece of clothing. When you kicked your pants off somewhere in your room, you were now left in your undergarments only.

Sunghoon who witnessed it, couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that you, his student, his favorite student actually, was now crawling onto his lap.

He gulped as his hands unconsciously grabbed your hips as you positioned yourself right on top of him. He let out a deep groan feeling your clothed core right above his hard on.

You gasped feeling him against you, even though he was restraint through his pants, you could still his imprint. You slowly rocked your hips to rub yourself against him, letting desperate whines leave your mouth for him.

This was not how either of you expected your Christmas to go.

But nevertheless, Sunghoon couldn’t take it anymore. He flipped you onto your back and you let out a shocked squeal at how easily he did that but your mind went blank as he removed his shirt and your jaw dropped.

You knew Sunghoon had muscles, you could tell by the way his shirts would fit around him during class but you didn’t realize just how sculpted his body was. Your eyes trailed over him and you felt your heart pounding against your chest.

But you were disrupted from your thought as he dove straight into your neck to leave wet open kisses.

You moaned softly feeling his lips, his hands roaming higher up your body until they found your breast. He unclasped your bra with ease and freed your mounds before attaching his lips onto your left one, sucking and kissing your already harden nipple and having his free hand to pinch your right one.

You jolted harshly at the sensation on both of your nipples and you could feel his smirk against your body.

His tongue glided over your sensitive nipple making you whimper loudly, fingers pinching them before rubbing his thumb over it to soothe the nerves. He removed his lips from your boob, bringing his lips onto yours. You grabbed his wrist as his hands held your boobs as he flushed himself against you.

You felt the poke against your clothed core and as embarrassing as it was, you almost came right then and there.

You don’t remember the last time you ever got with someone, too focused on school (and secretly your professor) that you didn’t even have time to take care of yourself.

You rubbed yourself against his leg that laid between your legs and he grinned in the kiss as he bit your lips harshly causing you to squeal.

“Such a fucking slut. Can’t even wait for me to fuck you that you’re already rubbing your soaking pussy against me” Sunghoon grabbed your chin forcing you to look down on the leg you were grinding on and the wet patch you left behind

“Rubbing me like some bitch in heat” You whimpered at his words and you shook your head trying to prove yourself but your actions spoke other wise

All you knew were praises but hearing such belittling words from your professor only made you wetter and you desperately needed him inside of you. “Please Mr. Park plea-” But you didn’t expect him to squish your face in his hand as he forced you to look at him

His harsh lust filled gaze send a wave down to your already dripping self. “Call me sir”

Your throat went dry, never using such nicknames before. But you heard the sternness of his voice which only fueled you even more. “S-sir” You tested the foreign nickname on your tongue for the first time and hearing it fall from your lips went straight to his cock

Having the top student sprawled beneath him begging for him did wonders on his mind. But he wasn’t going to give in that easily.

“Come on, I know you can do better than that. I need words, what do you want me to do?” Sunghoon teased as he already knew exactly what you wanted

But something about having you beg for him riled him up. Just because it was you didn’t mean you were easily going to get what you wanted from him.

“Sir please” Your voice full of desperation, “I-I need you inside of me. Need you to feel you. Want you to fill me up with your cock, I need you” You chocked out in whines and Sunghoon smirked seeing you wither before him

“Such a good little slut” He kissed the side of your face making you squeal, and you finally heard the unbuckling his belt and your heart raced

You looked down to see him freeing his harden cock which sprung out, hitting his abdomen and your jaw dropped seeing his size. This was nothing compared to what you thought it was when you were rubbing yourself against him.

You clearly underestimated your professors size and he noticed, “Oh don’t tell me you thought I was small. Come on, give me some credit” He smirked noticing you gulping nervously as you were amazed by his size

Your hands went to admire him and he groaned when your hands wrapped around him with a daze in your eyes. He closed his eyes as you softly pumped him almost causing him to throw his head back from the sheer pleasure.

With the faintest touches, you were already sending him into an overdrive. He doesn’t know if it’s because it’s been so long since he’s last been with someone like this or if it was because his deep hidden forbidden desires were being fulfilled by the only person in his mind, you.

His eyes clamped harder when he felt your hand go lower to fiddle with his aching balls that have been waiting months to be released.

“You’re so heavy” You mumbled at the observation and you noticed his angry tip leaking precum

You knew how bad your thoughts were in that moment, but you needed him to rearrange your whole intestines.

Your hands brought him over your stomach to measure just how deep he would be inside of you and you nervously gulped seeing how far deep he would be, “I don’t know if you’re gonna fit…”

Sunghoon murmured a soft ‘fuck’ under his breath seeing just how deep he would be inside of you, he almost lost control and rammed into you to make you dumb and only think about his cock.

But he knew you were right, he didn’t even know himself if he could fit inside of you.

“Then we’ll make it fit. You’ll be a good girl and take it right? Take all of me and everything I give you?” You looked up to him with doe eyes and Sunghoon needed to ruin you as you innocently nodded your head

He hummed pleased with your nod before having his fingers play with the fabric of your panties, noticing how it clung to your wetness as he peeled them off you painfully slow.

The more you were becoming exposed to him, the more you were growing shy and when he finally removed your panties, you unconsciously covered your bare self with your hands.

Sunghoon smack his tongue against his teeth before moving your hands away to admire you in all your glory. He saw how your soaked core gleamed with your arousal and he was captivated by you. He took a moment to appreciate you and your cheeks burned as his gaze never left your gaping hole.

“Perfect, absolutely perfect” He mumbled to himself before holding himself in his hands, giving himself a few pumps before dragging his tip across your wet self in a teasing manner, his precum and your arousal smearing together making the most beautiful scene in front of him.

Your hole clenched around nothing as he tapped his tip against your empty hole that begged to be filled and destroyed by him.

But you whined impatiently as he replaced his aching cock with his slender fingers. Even though, he desperately wanted to just be inside you, he knew he would split you in half and not in the good way if he didn’t prep you.

You bit your lip as you felt his fingers graze over your wetness and you looked down to see Sunghoon in a daze as he watched you coat his fingers.

You were going to say something but you gasped when you suddenly felt his finger enter you without any warning. He hissed at your tightness as he slowly pumped his finger in and out of you. Your body melted into your mattress from his finger alone.

Sunghoon soon entered a second finger, stretching you out a little more. You let out soft moans and it was like music to his ears. His fingers painfully dragged in and out as his thumb found a resting point on your clit.

The slow circles on your sensitive bud made your body jolt as the moans became louder and heavier. You felt the familiar knot in your stomach and right when it was going to snap, Sunghoon ripped his hand away.

You frustratedly whined that your close orgasm was ripped from you. Sunghoon chuckled seeing your frustrated state as small tears filled the corner of your eyes, daring to fall.

You saw as he stuck the fingers that were just inside of you inside him mouth as he hummed wildly tasting you for the first time.

“You taste so sweet baby” The endearing nickname filled your ears and mind as your frustration melted away as your heart warmed

But that didn’t last too long as it quickly overshadowed by the desperate need for him. “S-Sir p-please” You broke out in a whimper and Sunghoon cooed you as he rubbed your cheek softly

“You’ve been doing so well, I’m so proud of you baby” He tried to calm down your sniffled self as he grabbed his cock in his hand before dragging his tip across your pussy again before protruding your hole with his tip

Your mouth fell slack as you could feel him slipping in as he hissed by how tight you were. Your mind was already sent into a drunken dazed by the stretch you’ve never felt before.

He let out a broken chuckle as he saw your expression, “You’re already gone and I only gave you a taste of my tip” He continued to ease his way in, the clench making it difficult for him

“B-Big” You admitted breathlessly the moment he finally made it halfway

The two of you panted heavily feeling the undeniable pain but pleasurable stretch as Sunghoon nearly lost himself in the hold you had on his cock.

He gave you sometime to adjust as he rubbed a hand on your hips to help your shuddering and after a few moments you gave him a weak nod to keep going.

As he kept moving deeper into you, your gasp only grew louder, your hands resting on his shoulder as your fingertips dug into his shoulders.

He hissed feeling your fingertips in his shoulders but he continued to slowly push through. With each passing second, tears fell down your face and Sunghoon kissed your tears away.

“I know baby, I know. You can take it. I promise it’ll feel so good” You whimpered as you wrapped your arm around him to hold him close to your aching body

He finally bottomed out and the two of you let out a heavy shudder trying to get use to the taste the new forbidden heaven.

“You’re so pretty baby. So damn pretty” He praised you hoping it helped ease you and it did to a certain extent

The stretch was undeniably delicious and when lightly tapped his back, a sign for him to move, he smiled weakly, giving shallow thrust at first.

From his first thrust, you felt a new side of pleasure you never felt before. No one ever being able to make you feel like this till this day. You just never expected the one to show you this new world of pleasure would be your own professor.

You moaned as you held him close to you as he found a spot in the crook of your neck. The noises you tried to contain became loose in his ears when he began to pick up pace as his tip started to kiss your cervix with each thrust which you didn’t even know was possible.

“F-fuck baby. Gonna fuck you so good” He gruntled against your neck as he soon found a pace that made you fall apart on his cock

His pelvis met with your clit from the close proximity and you were seeing stars. “M-Mr- Sun-Hoo-Sir” Your mind didn’t know what to call Sunghoon in this moment

“How often did you think about your professor’s cock ramming into you? Bet you waited for the day to lure me into your bed just so that I can fuck you like the slut you are” Sunghoon spewed the brewing thoughts in his head

“E-every d-day Sung…H-hoon” You managed to moan out as the friction against your clit made you unintentionally tighten around Sunghoon’s hammering cock inside of you and the two of you were falling apart from the pleasure.

“Just like that, say my fucking name from your pretty mouth” Sunghoon pulled away from his spot on your neck to look at your sprawled body as he gripped your sides to slam his hips harsher against yours. “Nothing in that pretty head of yours but my name”

You knocked your head back as you tightly gripped your sheets, trying to hold in your sounds as best as you could but Sunghoon wouldn’t allow that. He rubbed his fingers over your swollen clit causing you to scream and cover your mouth surprised by the loud noise that left your mouth.

“Let the whole neighborhood know who’s fucking you this good. Let them hear you moan and whine like the slut you are for your professor’s cock” You were beyond the edge as his hips snapped against yours, your body jolting into the mattress with each of his thrust

And he loved the scene before him, the way your breast bounced from his harsh thrust, how your head was thrown back and your mouth was wide open with nothing but calls of his name and moans leaving it.

You arched your back sending a new shock of pleasure over you and Sunghoon’s managed to somehow go even deeper with the new angle as he held your lower back to keep your back arched as he continued to pound into you like you were his own toy.

“Clo-Close s-ir” You whined as you could feel the familiar knot forming in your stomach again. “Please! ‘m g-gonna come”

“Then come for me” Sunghoon voice was hot against your ringing ears and that was the push you needed before a tidal wave of pleasure crashed over you

You moaned loudly and Sunghoon groaned feeling you tightened around him from your climax and he noticed how you tried to pull away from him due to the simulation of his slipping cock in you.

You thought it was over as you panted tiredly and he slowed down his pace. But your legs were suddenly thrown over his shoulders as your body was pressed deeper into the mattress before he picked up his pace again.

You let out a loud sound, clawing at your sheets from the stimulation as your mind reeled from his brutal pace on your hole.

“We’re not done until I dump all of my cum inside you like my own personal cumdump” With the mention of the new nickname, you clamped down harder on him and he smirked feeling your reaction to his degrading words

“Oh? You like being your professor’s cumdump? You like knowing that you’ll be full of my cum so deep inside you, don’t you slut?”

“Yes yes yes” You blabbed as Sunghoon’s pace never let up as your pussy only continued to suck him in. “Gonna milk me for all my worth” Sunghoon groaned, feeling his own high rising

When you felt his cock twitch inside of you, you knew he was close. You clamped harder down on him wanting to stay true to his words. You were going to milk him for all his worth.

“Fuck! Tightening around me like that” Sunghoon panted as his head landed against your ear, Sunghoon’s thrust meeting your skin harshly that you swore there were would be bruising left

“Want all of it” Your voice was like a siren to him and Sunghoon knew exactly what you were referring to and he smirked proudly

“You want my cum that badly?” Your weak nods were sent straight to his ragging cock but suddenly he pulled out of you, making you feel empty

You whined loudly at the sudden emptiness, “Hoonie” The foreign nickname dragged out of your mouth and Sunghoon froze hearing it

He never knew such a nickname could make his heart flip and slowly have a power to conquer over him. He was going to need you to call him that forever.

He quickly lined himself back to your gaping hole before ramming his cock back into you with one thrust causing all air to be knocked out of you.

His pace was even more brutal as he used you like his own personal fleshlight. “H-Hoonie” You called out again and his mind was stuck on filling you up. He kept muttering soft ‘fucks’ and ‘just like that’ as he kept using your hole

But when he slowed down his pace suddenly after being so harsh and sloppy, you were going to complain before feeling such sharp thrust into you, jolting your body forwards until you felt hot spurts of his cum shoot deep inside you as Sunghoon rode out his high.

Sunghoon was telling the truth about filling you up as he gave a few more strokes inside of you to make sure his cum remained deep inside of you before painfully pulling out. He huffed, feeling the pressure of you finally releasing him and you whimpered feeling empty without him.

Sunghoon rubbed your sides as he admired your face shining in an afterglow he left you in. He smiled tiredly, planting kisses on your face. “You did so well baby, my good girl” His praises made you clench around nothing which forced his and your mix of cum to spill out of you

Sunghoon’s eyes traveled down and he was blessed that he did because he witnessed the most dazzling scene he had ever watched.

“You’re so fucking beautiful baby” He murmured as he pulled away from your sore body, creasing your inner thigh as he admired his work

You shivered feeling the sudden cold without his warmth on your body, your eyelids becoming heavy but your mouth fell open when his finger scooped around your messy pussy before sliding the mess back in.

“Don’t want to let it go to waste” Sunghoon hummed pushing his cum back deep into you, right where it was meant to be in

✎ᝰ。

Now in the present time. You made your way to Sunghoon’s office, having a bounce to your steps. As you walked through the campus, many people from students to the dean of the university happily greeted you as you passed by.

You were happy to wave back to them before finally reaching the destination you wanted to be at in the first place. You softly knocked on Sunghoon’s office door and it was almost as if he knew it was you(he did).

When he gave you the all clear to enter, you opened the door to peak your head inside before bringing in the rest of your body and Sunghoon swirled in his chair to face you as you walked in. Sunghoon had his rimless clear glasses hanging from his nose, a paper in hand with his white button sleeves folded up to his forearms, the watch you gifted him as a late birthday present gleamed on his wrist under the warm dim lighting and a few of the buttons undone from his shirt.

It was near the end of the day and the university was clearing up as faculty members and students finally left after finishing another tired filled day.

But unlike you, it was no surprise that people would see you staying behind to ‘study’ when in reality 5 times out of the week, you’re finding your way to Sunghoon’s office for the ‘briefings’ the two of you had established after that blissful night on Christmas day.

“Good evening Mr. Park” You greeted him formally but as you closed the door making sure to lock it, you went over to your favorite professor desk, dropping your bag on the chair in front of his desk as you went over to give him a kiss which he happily accepted

“Hi baby” He murmured in the kiss having missed your presence even though he saw you earlier that morning for the morning lecture

But that was never enough for him, he could only discreetly glance across the lecture hall as you attentively paid attention to his lesson.

He softly placed a hand on the back of your head to keep you against his lips for a moment longer before finally pulling away.

When he pulled away, he saw the dopey grin you had and his heart swelled. You went to grab your discarded bag on the chair before dragging the lonely chair in the corner of Sunghoon’s office that he reserved just for you and grabbed your laptop and all the papers you needed.

Sunghoon adjusted his own papers to accommodate your stuff now clamoring his desk just like how he always did for you.As you made yourself comfortable, you and Sunghoon stayed in comfortable silence as the two of you worked on your respective tasks.

This was how it usually starts whenever you came to visit your favorite professor for ‘debriefings’.

However, if it were to go further than this, it always depended on if either of you were in the mood (which was almost always) and who would initiate it first.

Sunghoon narrowed his eyes reading over a paper that made absolutely no sense, his hand slipped onto your thigh, giving a light squeeze when he saw yet another error on the paper.

You didn’t even flinch in the slightest from the squeeze, already used to it as you continued to type away on your laptop trying to submit something that was not even due until 2 weeks from now, but you always loved being ahead of the game.

You slightly tilted your head confused when you received an email but when you opened it, you silently squealed happily which caught Sunghoon’s attention.

He peeled his gaze away from the paper onto you who was smiling widely at your laptop screen. You could feel his questioning gaze and you faced him showing off your beautiful smile as you turned the laptop around for him to read the email you received.

He read the email with a stoic face but a small smile soon rose to his face when he finished. In the email it stated that you were the top student to receive the highest marks in the past semester finals.

“Congratulations baby” Your heart swelled to Sunghoon’s praise as you cheekily smiled, feeling proud of the achievement you accomplished yet again

“Last semester was a little harder so I’m surprised I placed first again” You admitted but you melted when Sunghoon soon creased your face feeling just how ultimately proud he was

“You achieved it because you deserved it, don’t ever doubt yourself” You rubbed your cheek against his hand, the smile still on your face and Sunghoon quickly put the paper in hand down and carefully pulled you onto his lap

You squeaked when you landed on his lap as he continued to crease your face as he stared at you with pure admiration. “So proud of my baby” He murmured as he planted softly kisses against your arm

You giggled the moment his mouth came to contact with your skin and you could feel his smile to your giggles, his arms snaking around your body, holding you firm on his lap.

“You deserve a reward don’t you? For such an achievement” He spoke as he looked to you and you shyly nodded your head because no matter how many times you were in this position you will still feel butterflies in your stomach

“I have to meet some deadlines this afternoon so give me a few minutes okay?” Your smile soon turned to a slight frown but you nodded your head in understanding

Sunghoon’s heart shattered seeing the frown on your face and he immediately offered something to help ease you until he could properly give you the treatment you deserve.

“Come sit on me mhm? Just to bay your aching self” You immediately perked at Sunghoon’s alternative and you were quick to start unbuckling his belt

He chuckled lowly seeing just how eager you were as you pulled your own pants down. “It’s almost as if you only work hard to get things from me” He joked, he knows it wasn’t true, you were naturally a hard worker but he liked to teased

When you pulled out his cock from his pants, you nearly salivated forgetting just how much you loved it. You saw how it softly twitched in your hand as it was slowly hardening. You smiled softly before pulling your panties to the side, you didn’t expect to need any prep because of the amount of arousal leaking out of you just by his praises alone.

You teased his growing angry tip with your hole and you slightly hisses thinking you would’ve been able to take it without prep but you overestimated yourself.

Sunghoon saw how your face contorted from the sudden stretch you thought you could handle and at first he was going to help you but as he saw you struggled to take him, he decided to let you take the lead.

His hands found their way to your hips to help steady yourself as you finally began to sink on him. Your soft gasp and whimpers and the way you clenched around him fueled Sunghoon to the moon. He tried to control himself from throwing everything off his desk to absolutely pound into you.

But he remembered he only offered you to sit on him until he finishes his work to meet his deadlines, but he was foolish to not think of his own being in this matter. He was snapped out of his thoughts when you bottomed out, you and him slightly hissing, you at the stretch and Sunghoon from the clench.

He rubbed circles on your hips. “You okay baby?” His words made you weakly nod, resting your forehand with his

He closed his eyes to be in the moment of having you in his arms, you wrapped so intimately around him. He soon found your lips with his as he gave you a loving kiss which you reciprocated with ease. You hummed happily in his kiss as your hands held the side of his face.

“I have to finish my deadline baby” Sunghoon told in between the kiss but you didn’t want to let him go just yet

“Five more minutes please” You pleaded as you pulled away and he couldn’t say no to you, he grabbed the back of your nape before brining your lips back onto his

You smiled happily in the kiss as you continued to sit on his lap, feeling his cock twitch every now, desperately wanting to move but not able to just yet.

When he pulled away from the kiss, your lips chased after his for a few more seconds and he smiled warmly at your actions.

“The quicker I finish this, the quicker I’m yours” He soothed your hips and ass that stayed pressed against him

You sighed heavily before turning around, you and him gasping at the small friction created, craving more but both of knocking yourself out of that haze.

You faced your back towards him as you poorly dragged your laptop to continue working.

Sunghoon weakly smiled before grabbing the discarded paper he was grading, before adjusting his glasses up his nose bridge as he continued reading over it.

A casual debriefing with your favorite professor.

✎ᝰ。

“Today you will be working in pairs for the assignment. Choose your partner carefully” Sunghoon announced dismissing the students that were quick to mingle with one another to see who would be willingly to be their partners

You remained sitting at your seat before placing your headphones on and beginning to tap away at your keyboard having the intent to finish the assignment quickly wanting to take a nap before going on the rest of your day.

You worked alone on every group or paired assignment Sunghoon assigned as he deemed it unfair how people would only pair up with you to have the intentions of taking advantage of your intelligence to get themselves a high mark.

So Sunghoon didn’t allow others to pair up with you which bothered you at first but you soon enjoyed it as you were able to go at the pace you wanted and complete the assignment the way you wanted to.

As you happily typed away searching through the textbook with your music playing. You were too engrossed in the assignment that you were brought back to reality when you felt a faint tap on your shoulder.

You looked away from your laptop to see a guy you’ve never seen before. His mouth was moving but you couldn’t hear him, you pulled on the side of your headphone away from your ear to listen.

“Oh I was speaking to you when you had headphones in, I’m sorry” He rambled out the apology as he nervously fiddled with his fingers, you could hear the hint of some type of accent in his voice as you waved him off to not worry about it

“I’m sorry to bother you, I just saw that you were working alone and I was wondering if you would like to partner up with me” The guys shyly asked as he rubbed his nape awkwardly waiting for your response

“I’m Jake by the way, I didn’t introduce myself earlier” The said Jake guy smiled and you gave a heartfelt smile in return “And you are?“

Your eyes widen at his question, Jake didn’t know who you were. But instead of being offended as others thought you would be if people didn’t know you were, it felt like a breath of fresh air.

You were so used to people having exceptions for you and you didn’t mind them knowing that it’s how you presented yourself but it was nice to know someone who was oblivious to who you were.

You introduced yourself to Jake and he continued to give you a kind smile before asking if he could take the seat next to you. You decided to indulge in this waif of fresh air in the form of Jake just a little, you had a good feeling that he wouldn’t be using you just to get a high mark.

However, you didn’t realize the piercing gaze that shot towards you from the professor’s podium. Sunghoon gripped the side of the podium tightly that he might’ve left indents but he didn’t care.

Seeing you suddenly became all chatty with someone set something ugly in him. The way you were smiling at the guy who awfully took a seat close to you made something in him rot. Why were you smiling like that?

Yet, Sunghoon found it even more sickening that his students took notice the new pair of you and Jake. They knew Sunghoon’s rule that no one was allowed to pair up with you to provide fairness which was half true so why wasn’t he applying the rule onto Jake? He wondered that himself but he saw how you looked relaxed in his presence and he decided to let you have your little fun.

What was supposed to be a paired project that took up the whole class, was completed by you and Jake not even 30 minutes later after assigning it and that bothered Sunghoon greatly.

You were laughing at something Jake said as you were walking up to Sunghoon’s desk and when you reached it, you immediately knew something was off. Instead of raising his head to give you his undivided attention like always, he didn’t bother to look up.

He kept his gaze down at his desk that was scattered with papers and he only motioned for you lay the paper down at the corner of the desk instead of handing it to him to grade immediately.

Your stomach churned as you noticed Sunghoon was treating you differently today. He didn’t utter a single remark to you on how you finished early and only remained silent.

You stayed frozen for a moment in shock to his new behavior towards you but he didn’t seem to care in the slightest and this made your heart hurt.

Jake faintly called your name to garner your zoned attention and when you finally began peeling yourself away from his desk, Sunghoon finally called out your name.

You turned almost immediately that you hoped no one noticed. You saw Sunghoon skimming through yours and Jake’s completed paper, his grimace growing by the second.

“Please meet me in my office later to discuss your performance in my class” Sunghoon said before placing the paper back down, letting out a disappointed sigh as he adjusted his glasses

Your heart dropped. You could only aimlessly nod your head as your mind reeled with questions and worry.

“Uh do you need to see me as well Mr. Park?” Jake chimed in and Sunghoon didn’t even dare to look at Jake and shook his head

“No, this only concerns her. She is the top student and it would pain the whole university to see her slip up” Sunghoon’s words cut through you like a knife and you tried to hold back the tears that burned your eyes

You hated when you were talked down upon, especially when it came to your academics and Sunghoon knew that perfectly well.

✎ᝰ。

You softly knocked on Sunghoon’s office door at the usual time for the ‘debriefings’ and he called you in with a tone that you had never heard before. You struggled to swallow down as you stepped into his office and having to be on the receiving end of Sunghoon’s harsh gaze.

It was as if your brain went into autopilot as you fell into you usual routine whenever you were in his office. You closed the door behind you, making sure it’s locked, dropping your bag on the chair in front of his desk and going over to his side to give him a kiss.

But right when you were going to kiss him, Sunghoon jerked away from you adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose. You blinked unexpected by his actions as the unease started to settle in your stomach more as you stared at him as he motioned for to sit but not in your usual seat reserved for you.

Forced to sit in the seat that he made everyone else sit on. You could feel your heart crawling to your throat as your heavy steps took you to the chair in front of him, grabbing your bag before placing it on your lap.

“Do you know I asked for you here?” Sunghoon raised an eyebrow as he rested his elbow on his desk

Your eyes shifted from him and onto your lap as you fiddled with your fingers and you could hear his heavy sigh at your lack of response. “Well you should’ve checked your work before submitting it to me” He told

Your eyes widen as it finally registered in your mind. You made to triple check the work before submitting it to Sunghoon and you knew it was correct. But hearing it from his harsh tones made your eyes watered with tears as you believed his words that you were in fact slipping up.

Sunghoon noticed your demeanor dropping at his words and he wanted to ease your growing frantic self, always despising seeing you like this as he knew you took your academics very seriously, but a greater rage burned him that made him overlook you.

“You know we take academic here very serious, especially yours. Do you know how much it pained me to give you a failing grade on the assignment?” Your jaw dropped as you let out a shivered breath

You’ve never failed an assignment before so hearing that that you received your very first failing grade especially it being from Sunghoon’s class made your world crash down.

You stared at him with fear spreading across your face and you almost broke down right then and there.

“I-I failed it?” Your voice was shaky as you tried to keep your composure as you stared to Sunghoon with teary eyes

Of course you didn’t actually fail the assignment, you excelled in it like you always did. However, Sunghoon was so bothered that most of the answers weren’t in your handwriting but rather by someone else’s, your partner, Jake.

It aggravated him skimming over the paper seeing the doodles he usually loves smeared with someone else’s doodles along side yours.

There were signs of multiple tic tac toe rounds on the paper with little notes saying ‘I win’ or ‘You lose’ in your handwriting that was responded to by Jake’s writing of ‘I’ll win next round’ or ‘I’ll destroy you’.

I’ll destroy you.

Sunghoon wanted to burn the paper to atoms acting like it never existed in the first place but he couldn’t do that. He had to put the grade in for his favorite student.

“It breaks my heart to put the grade in” Sunghoon sighed but you quickly weeped in pure desperation

“Sunghoon it’ll drop my grade down, it’ll cause my overall GPA to drop! Please don’t put it in. I’ll do anything! Just please don’t put it in the grade book” Your sniffled pleas set something off in Sunghoon as he saw the tears spilling from your eyes, in his eyes you were the prettiest crier

“Anything?” Sunghoon raised an eyebrow and you quickly got up from the seat and dropped yourself down to your knees in front of him as you stared up to him with teary eyes

It wasn’t your first time being in this position, but it was the first time that you were doing this in order to avoid a failing grade. But you simply couldn’t afford it.

Sunghoon got up from his chair before crouching to meet at your level. “Aw my good girl knows just what to do” He hummed warmly as you lips quivered from held back sobs

He wiped your tears away with his thumb with a sinister look in his eye before taking place back in his chair as he manspread in front of you, waiting for you to crawl to him.

You felt humiliated having to do this but your grade was at stake and you couldn’t allow a slip up, you needed to make sure everyone was aware that you still and forever will be the top student.

As you kneeled before Sunghoon, he tried to suppress the smirk daring to grow on his face. You looked absolutely perfect before him and just like Jake’s words. “I’ll destroy you baby” He softly murmured creasing the side of your face, a sign of endearment instead of the cold stoic felling he was showing you beforehand

As you fondled with his belt and slacks in order to bring them to his mid thigh just enough for you to pull out his heavy cock that leaked with precum at the tip.

You knew what you needed to do as you began softly stroking his cock with your hands. Sunghoon groaned lowly as he watched your hands wrap around his cock before moving up and down dragging out the movements. “Better start working faster than that baby”

You replaced your hands with your mouth as dragged your tongue from the base all the way to his tip’s slit. Sunghoon threw his head back letting a rubble erupt from his chest as you began to leave feather kisses at his tip before opening your mouth to suck him.

As your mouth began to close around him, he closed his eyes forgetting just how wonderful your mouth was to him. “Damnit baby” His breathless pants continued as you bobbed your head up and down trying to find the pace that always set him on the edge

You tried to swallow him whole as you managed to bottom him out, feeling him in the back of your throat. You gagged trying to hold your place there as much as you could before ripping yourself away for air.

You panted heavily with a string of saliva connecting your lips to Sunghoon’s cock and he smirked widely at this. You gulped still trying to catch your breath before connecting your lips back onto his tip as your tongue swirled around, trying to clean him from all the precum.

You looked up to him to see him staring at you as if you were the only person left in the world. You maintained eye contact with him as you sucked, the wet noises filling his office.

Sunghoon’s mind reeled in the feeling of your mouth as he let out breathless grunts and groans as he felt your hands fondling with his aching balls as you continued to suck him for all his worth. As he was getting lost in the sensation his hands instinctively came to the top of your head as he began to buck his hips into your mouth. “You’d let me fuck your pretty mouth won’t you?”

You gagged as his cock slipped deeper into your throat, spit forming at the side of your mouth as you weakly nodded your head and that was all Sunghoon needed to use your throat.

He adjusted himself, feeling how you became pliant in his hands as he bobbed your head and down his length to meet his harsh thrust. You placed your hands on his knees, gagging loudly as tears burned your eyes more as Sunghoon continued to use your mouth for his own pleasure.

“Just like that baby, fuck. You’re so perfect for me” He groaned out, you weren’t able to respond as he continued to use your mouth and you could tell he was already close as his thrust became more frantic chasing his release

After a few more harsh thrust, his seed spilled in your throat and he groaned loudly as he pulled you away to have his cum shoot onto your face and shirt.

When Sunghoon finally came down from his high, he was breathing heavily trying to come back from the high of the mind goggling head you always give him but he saw the sight in front of him.

Your face and shirt stained with his release as you looked to him with doe eyes and he grabbed your jaw forcing you to open to see if you swallowed the little remnants you got before he pulled away.

He stroked your face lovingly as he saw that there was nothing left behind. He scooped the spurts of cum on your face with his finger and bringing it to your mouth. You knew what he wanted and you gave it him as you sucked his finger clean.

Sunghoon brought you up from your knees to bring you into a rough kiss. The kiss was reverent as his hold on you was tight. “Gonna make sure you don’t remember your name, let alone that fuckass partner of yours” Sunghoon gruff out before flipping you over his desk where student’s paper were soon scattered everywhere

Hearing his words made you realized that his behavior stemmed from unnecessary jealousy caused by Jake. You were surprised seeing just how jealous he got and it sent a wave straight down to your aching heat.

Yet, you shirked when the cold air suddenly hit your bare bottom “You soaked right through your panties” Sunghoon’s finger grazed your drenching core “You’re so wet… Just for me right baby?” You lambently nodded your head, losing yourself in the small friction

“All for you” You breathed out and before you realized, Sunghoon was already sinking into you. You gasped loudly at the unexpected intrusion, feeling the familiar stretch of his cock breaking you

“H-hoon!” You whimpered as you tried to get accustomed to the burn but Sunghoon didn’t listen to your pleas as he already began to move in your tight hole

“Sucking me in so good” Sunghoon chuckled as you gripped the ends of his desk feeling your body jolting from his shallow thrust “Hoonie” You strained out a moan but he was quick to send a spank to your ass

“That’s not my name- damnit no matter how many times I split you open you’re still so tight” He let out as he fully sunk in, groaning at how tight you were clenching around him

And without anytime for you catch your breath from the familiar stretch, he was already slipping in and out of you as he was soon finding a fast rhythmic pace that had you seeing stars.

The office filled with your moans and sound of skin slapping, “S-sir please faster” You whined knowing that you shouldn’t have asked for something you couldn’t handle but you were already too beyond any rational thinking

“You wanna get fucked like the slut you are? Is that why you were practically flirting with him? Just to get my attention so that I can bend you over my desk and breed your pussy?” His fingers dug into your hips as he started to pound into you with no remorse, his tip bruising your cervix and you could feel the wind knocked out of you as you became a moaning mess

“Answer me slut” He gave another smack to your ass and you groaned at the stinging sensation, trying to form any sort of coherent words

“Y-yes- Breed me” Your few words only soared Sunghoon’s pride as he wrapped his bicep around your head to press your body against his as you threw your head back, your whines filling his ears

“Cream on my cock baby, just like how you were molded to” The noise in his office were beyond obscene, the wet noises mixing in with the skin on skin and his degrading words made you dizzy

Sunghoon could tell you were close as you were clenching around him tighter and tighter until you came all over his ramming cock. You moaned loudly as he helped you ride out your high but instead of slowing down, he only continued faster.

You tried to claw at his forearms in hopes for him to slow down as you felt your knees giving out on you and if not for him holding you up by his biceps, you would’ve fallen to the ground. You were beyond overstimulated but Sunghoon didn’t care as he continued to chase his own high.

“Fucking slut wanted to get fucked so badly… Had to do anything- S-shit! Just to get my attention” Your mouth stayed opened as all noises fell from it as your mind became hazy from the overstimulation, his relentless thrust and the headlock he had you in

You were too far gone but deep down, you wouldn’t be mad if he decided to fuck you like this every time. “S-sir” You chanted out nonstop

“What was your partner’s name? Tell me” Your body kept moving with his thrust and you could feel yourself losing it, “I asked for his name slut” And you know you shouldn’t have responded, you should’ve acted oblivious but you wanted to add fuel to the blaring fire

“Ja-Ja..k-“ You couldn’t even finish saying Jake’s name as Sunghoon’s headlock tighten around you and somehow his pace only become even more animalistic than what it already was. You held back a scream as you could feel a second wave of your orgasm building up.

“Say his name again and see what the fuck happens” Sunghoon warned before letting you out of his headlock having you body fall forward onto his desk as his hand pressed against your back to keep you there as his freehand had it’s fingers immediately find their way to your swollen clit begging for attention

You squealed as he rubbed your clit before adding tight pinches causing you to only thought of him, Sunghoon, Sir, Hoon, Hoonie, your favorite professor, Mr. Park.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you felt your second orgasm crash over your stimulated body. “Shit baby shit, just… Ahh- a little more. Gonna breed this pussy the way it was meant to”

‘You’ll remember who can only do this to you” Sunghoon started rambling, “I’m the only one that breed your pussy this good” His thrust became sloppy and you could feel his cock twitching inside you.

And when he gave the final harsh thrust, jolting your body forward causing some papers to fall off his desk, you whimpered feeling his hot release spurt into you, painting your velvet wall all white of him.

Sunghoon gave a few more painful thrust to make sure he fucked his cum deep into you before pulling out. You whined feeling suddenly empty without him inside you.

Sunghoon saw how your mixed released dripped down your thigh and he admired the scene. How ruined you were because of him. His finger scooped up the falling cum only to shove it back into your gaping hole, you whimpered at the intrusion of his fingers but he gave pepper kisses on your back.

“Shh it’s okay” He hummed before carefully peeling your body off his desk that was now an even more of a mess

The afterglow you had could be seen from miles away and Sunghoon smiled warmly as he brought your sensitive body toward him to cradle you as he sat in his chair with you on his lap. “You did so good baby, took everything I gave you”

You relished in the praise but it soon creeped back into your mind of why this had happened in the first place. “F-fail?” Was all you could murmur and Sunghoon cooed at you before softly slipping his fingers over your body towards your overstimulated clit

Your body jolted from his fingers as you whined shaking your head, trying to peel his fingers away from your swollen bud not able take anymore but Sunghoon shook his head.

“You can give me another one baby, I know you can” You whimpered as your attempt were futile as his fingers began rubbing over the bud in a painfully slow circular motion “Let me take care of you. Then we can see if you still failed or not”

✎ᝰ。

When you finally made it back home that night after being dropped off by Sunghoon who made sure to give you an extra longer of a kiss at your front door, you landed straight onto your bed, absolutely exhausted from the rounds Sunghoon had put you through.

You always forget how high his stamina is and you know unlocked another level of his stamina by ten folds that only shined when his jealousy was through the roof.

You weakly pulled out your phone to see a message wishing you a goodnight and hope that you sleep well by Sunghoon and you chuckled softly to yourself, making sure to reply to him before going to check your grade for the paired assignment that you were afraid of seeing a failing grade instead of a passing one.

But with the little energy left in your body, you sat up on your bed, immediately smiling seeing the 104 percent left by Mr. Park for the paired assignment with a single comment left by him, ‘Good job’.

Even though it was simple comment, you knew it was only directed to you and not Jake (Sunghoon heavily expressed rather negative opinions about him in the car ride to yours even though Jake did no wrong).

Your heart filled to the brim seeing not only had you received full marks on the assignment, but you also received an extra 4 points just for being such a good student, his favorite student.

✎ᝰ。

Time flew by as it was soon reaching the end of the second half of the semester before going on summer break. And as time was passing, it caused an unsettling unease to rest in your heart. The ‘relationship’ you had established with Sunghoon ever since winter break only continued to blur as you didn’t know what you two even were. You knew the two of you were intimate sexually but you always became confused when it came to romantic aspect of things.

But on Sunghoon’s end he never really used words to begin with, he rather used actions to express what he was feeling for you (even if you were oblivious to them).

You didn’t realize that whenever you would complain to Sunghoon about running out of your favorite chapstick it somehow magically appeared placed at your seat with a sticky note that had written on ‘:)’ or when you felt overwhelmed about some long project that none of your other partners were working on, expecting you to do all the work, which somehow ended up with you receiving full credit while the rest of your partners received nothing.

Sunghoon loved to shower you in his affection of gift giving, ranging from something easy like flowers everyday to the latest tiffany & co. necklace and bracelet set he thought suited you the best. Whatever you could possibly think of having and wanting, he would get it for you in a flash.

But with all of his actions, it was unclear to you where his feelings lied for you.

Even though he would randomly show up at your doorstep just because he missed you and wanted to see to you which always ended up having you and him cuddle in your bed until the next morning as you both rushed to the university after sleeping past the alarms in each other’s arms.

It didn’t mean he cared about you the same way you cared about him. He could easily just be doing all of that to make sure you stick around in which he did a good job because the sheer thought of some else entering the picture and have Sunghoon leave you in the dust always kept you up at night, fear eating you from the inside out.

But your worst nightmare came true as in walked someone else, another rising star student.

She transferred last year from another prestigious university and she was known to be the top student but when she transferred, she was placed in the 5th slot of the top 5 fives students, you still remaining in the 1st slot.

It was impossible of how she didn’t hear about you. She heard praises left and right for you for simply walking by and she was curious. That’s when she realized you were the top 1 student in the entire university. That was when she was determined to achieve the top 1 spot for herself. She began in the year she transferred to bypass all of the top 3 students to secure her spot in the top 2, just below you.

When you finally heard of a rising student and how she bypassed the top 3 students in a short amount of time and was now top 2, you were impressed instead of bothered as the gap between you two was unshakeable.

But you didn’t realized how she was willing to do anything in order to take the number 1 spot from you. It was nothing personal towards you but you were the pride and joy of the university and she was simply wanted the title for herself.

So when she heard she would be sharing a class with you in the beginning of the first term, she was excited to see how both of you would perform in the hardest taught on campus by the strictest teacher Mr. Park.

She’s heard from other students taking the class that it wasn’t easy and barely anyone was able to pass it with the minimum required grade and this piqued her interest seeing how the top 1 student would succumb to the pressure in order to ensure her replacement of your high title.

But she soon realized that she was the one rather falling behind as the marks on her papers kept decreasing slowly but surely. While, you were receiving 100 percents with ease and would even receive extra credit sometimes and she was aggravated by this it.

She completely lost it when she saw the 75 percent on her paper from the paired assignment. When she glanced over to you when you received your paper only to see how you had scored a whopping 104 percent, which she didn’t know was even possible.

People congratulated you (and Jake) for being the highest mark out of the entire student body taking the course. Your wide smile as you accepted the compliments infuriated her, she wanted to wipe that smile right off your face.

And so she decided to attack the root cause, as she found herself in front of the very professor’s office that she couldn’t seem to pass with high remarks. She was hesitant on knocking, never really speaking to her professor during class especially outside of it for anything, choosing to silently struggle. She was worried Mr. Park hadn’t even paid attention to her because he had you taking his course (especially being in the same class as her).

She was living in your shadow and she was growing tired of it. She wanted to be adored by everyone just like how you were and set the curve. And hopefully talking to Mr. Park will help her achieve the little stepping stone she needed in order to determine her victory against you.

She softly knocked before overthinking anymore as she waited for a moment and that’s when she finally heard a faint ‘come in’.

Now any living being would tell you Mr. Park was undeniably attractive that it was actually sickening that someone like him existed and was teaching as a professor. She was no exception, seeing him in white button up, his jacket covering over his body as his infamous clear glasses rested perfectly on his nose bridge set an unspeakable fire in her.

“Hello Mr. Park” Her voice was unknowingly becoming smaller as his harsh gaze met her nervous ones

How you were able to approach him with such ease while everyone else struggled blew her mind but she remembered no one else was receiving 100 plus marks in his class besides you so she quickly diminished that thought.

“Good evening, I don’t believe you’ve set up an appointment or may have I missed it? Let me double check, please sit down” Sunghoon motioned to the seat in front of his desk which she accepted, she couldn’t dare tell him that she didn’t make an appointment to meet with him

She looked around his office to see it neatly done to a T expected from her professor. Her eyes caught sight of a random chair in the corner of his office. She furrowed her eyebrows but Sunghoon’s quickly brought her attention back and away from the chair.

“I don’t seem to have you down for an appointment, if you wish to discuss anything with me. Please make an appointment beforehand with the link provided in your online syllabus” Sunghoon told before brining his attention back to his work in front of him

“W-wait M-Mr. Park. I really need to talk to you, it’s important” Sunghoon stopped and placed the papers down before sighing heavily, he normally doesn’t do this but he was in a good mood since you stopped by during his lunch break just because you wanted to see him so he let it slide this one time

“This will only a one time thing. I do not excuse carelessness, if you wish to speak make an appointment on the provided schedule” Sunghoon told before motioning her to speak and she was dumb founded, all rationality left her mind

Her mind reeled as she spoke the first thing that came to her head, “Do you work out Mr. Park?” She tried to put on her best sultry voice hoping it would achieve what she wanted

Sunghoon furrowed his eyebrows and stared at her, “Excuse me?”

“Seeing the 75 on the paired assignment made me so sad and I-I just wanted to let you know that I’m willing to do anything to change my grade” She pleaded helplessly hoping that he would give into her pleas to have her grade change

He knew he was a hypocrite for his next choice of words but he didn’t need anyone else, especially when he had you. “Please remove yourself my office and I will choose to ignore such requests” Sunghoon sighed realizing what she was trying to insinuate, this wasn’t the first time someone had tried to come to him to give him whatever he ‘wanted’ in exchange to get their grade up

She pouted harshly having been denied and Sunghoon almost showed his grimace at her pout, her pout wasn’t yours. But she wasn’t going to go down without a fight.

She made her way up from the chair and Sunghoon thought she was leaving but what he didn’t expect was her to suddenly turn around and walk over to his side of the desk and drop to her knees in front of him.

He jumped back in his chair as he adjusted himself as he stared at her in shock. “What are you doing?” Sunghoon asked and she looked up to him with an attempt of doe eyes and instead of feeling aroused like she had hoped, he felt sick

He wasn’t going to do anything with anyone else. He already you and he was never going to let that go.

She put her hair into a makeshift ponytail with her hands as she blinked her eyes innocently to him as she silently was offering herself. But Sunghoon looked away from her and motioned for her to stand up “Get up” Sunghoon’s authoritative tone made her weak in her knees and she thought that he was finally caving in to her

Yet, right when she was going to stand she heard a faint knock at his office door and Sunghoon immediately recognized that knock as yours. His heart rate jumped, he took a glance towards the clock to see that you were right on time for your ‘debriefings’ and he knew this scene looked completely wrong and he couldn’t possibly have you get any wrong idea.

But Sunghoon whipped his head when she saw her shuffling under his desk and he shook his head violently as she brought a finger to her lips to shush him but he wasn’t having any of it. “I am not going to repeat myself, get up” He warned which caused her let out a loud huff which didn’t go unnoticed by you on the other side of the door,

When she was going to place the faintest kiss on his knee through his pants, he jerked his leg away before she could do so. She sadly pouted before getting up from her previous position. She had mischievous smirk on her face, believing she had won in some type of way.

She grabbed her bag from the chair as she went over to the door and right before opening it, she send a playful wink towards her professor. “Thank you again Mr. Park” She spoke as opening the door and there she saw you standing innocent and oblivious to what was happening his Sunghoon’s office

Your eyes widen in shock seeing her leave Sunghoon’s office, you never once saw her here before let alone even speak to him during class.

Her smirk grew wider seeing you before holding her head high, discreetly wiping her lips with her fingers before happily greeting you.

“Oh? What you doing here?” She innocent raised an eyebrow almost as if mocking you

“Letter recommendation” You curtly responded which was a lie, you were here for the ‘debriefings’ you and Sunghoon always had but you don’t remember him telling you that he was going to be occupied beforehand

She smiled not saying anything else as she walked past you without a goodbye. You could feel and hear the silent screams she was giving you as she left you which all lead from the very startled professor that was now in front of you at the door.

You took in his appearance, he still looked like his formal self. Still neatly dressed from head to toe, his hair still intact but that didn’t ease the unsettling pain in your chest.

“How can I help you?” Sunghoon made room for you to enter his office, trying everything in his power to remain professional

You stopped your quivering lips as you shook your head, “Nothing, I thought I needed something but I don’t need it anymore” You emptily told before turning your heel and walking away from your professor

Sunghoon was stunned as this was the first time you never stayed for the debriefings and he could feel his heart squeeze as it settled in his mind everything was far from okay. His hands turned into fist in order to prevent himself from chasing after you, not caring who would see but he needed to remind himself that he was not your boyfriend. He was just your professor, someone that you were seeing that was hopelessly head over heels for you.

✎ᝰ。

Now he expected for it to be a simple misunderstanding that he could clear up with a few messages and going over to yours. But every time he tried to even reach you, you dodged him like a plague and acted like he didn’t even exist. The daily talks and messages became shorter and shorter until you were leaving him on delivered for hours on end only to see his message and not even respond.

You stopped coming for ‘debriefings’ all together and it was if nothing had ever happened between the two of you and he was slowly losing himself the more time he went without you. He knew you ways he shouldn’t but he did, neither you or him could ever forget that no matter how hard you tried.

What starting driving him to insanity were times where he saw you leaving his class without a glance towards him a the old lingering gaze shared was long forgotten as it was replaced with you staring at Jake as you laughed and smiled at something he told you.

And he knew it was highly unprofessional of him to even think this but Sunghoon felt the urge every time to throw a punch at Jake anytime he saw you two together.

Sunghoon’s biggest fear was coming true, you leaving him when he was already in too deep. He knew he had to act quickly before it was too late and he lost the only thing that mattered in his life. He needed to bring you back to him.

✎ᝰ。

It was the last day of the semester right before summer break and after finishing all finals (with the highest mark as always) and completing the finals assignments needed to ensure to leave the two terms with ease and remaining in your spot as the top student in the university.

You haven’t spoken much to Sunghoon during the past few leading up till this day. You knew it was rather childish on your part but something in your head told you that Sunghoon no longer needed you as he was seeming to be fulfilled by someone else that wasn’t you(even though he never forgot about you once, always making sure to send messages to you every morning and night just in case one day you decide to finally answer him).

As you and Jake were leaving Sunghoon’s last lecture, he was starting to ask you something, “So I was wondering if you would-“ but he was interrupted by the call of your name from Sunghoon who motioned for you to stay behind.

You were going to ignore him but your body had a mind of its own as you bid goodbye to Jake easily before discreetly taking a gulp as you hadn’t spoken properly to him and he was finally taking initiative in person.

‘I-I’ll wait for you outside!” Jake told and you gave a quick wave back before making your way over to Sunghoon’s desk and when it was finally just the two of you, Sunghoon’s dark chuckle rippled throughout the empty lecture hall

“Meet me in my office at the usual time” But before you could muster any type of response to avoid him, he motioned for you to stop, “I said meet me in my office, that is final” You should’ve said no but you were weak for him as sighed in defeated before muttered under your breath

“Why don’t you ask her to meet you in your office…” Sunghoon heard your muttered and his eyebrows furrowed and his lips twitched

“Because I need you in my office” Sunghoon told before lowering his voice to make sure you could only hear him, “Now be a good girl and listen” His voice sent shivers up your spine and you frowned before muttering a small ‘whatever’ before walking away

He smirked, pleased with your reaction as he was realizing you were jealousy, a possessive jealousy you had over him laid in his heart nicely.

✎ᝰ。

You softly knocked on Sunghoon’s office door as you always used do and your expected hearing his usual ‘come in’. But you were surprised to see him see opening the door for you.

You stared at him in shock as he moved to make room for you to come in. You gulped and awkwardly stepped in as it finally sunk into your mind of how long it has been since you were last in Sunghoon’s office, let alone in his presence in uh a close proximity.

But your mind filled with a distraught thought of what you thought to have happened between Sunghoon and the girl during the time that you and Sunghoon weren’t personally seeing each other outside of his lectures.

You wanted to light the whole office on fire to destroy any residue that the girl could’ve possible left behind. You hated that she was inside such a sacred place to you and what you thought was for Sunghoon too.

“Why did you want to meet with me?” You were in no mood to mess around and quickly wanted to get whatever he wanted done and over with

You saw how Sunghoon closed the door and easily locked the door and you knew you were in for it. “I’ve missed you as simple as that” He truthfully told before taking strides towards you, “How come my baby has been ignoring me?“ Sunghoon brought down the cold demeanor he shows everyone besides you, only you were the only one to ever see this side, the down right bad side of Sunghoon for you

You closed your eyes and shifted your head not wanting his words to work on you. But when you felt Sunghoon’s frame from behind goosebumps filled your body as his breath fanned over the shell of your ear with his hands finding their way to your waist. “Well? Why have you been ignoring me?”

You shivered as his words cut through you and you bit your lip to prevent yourself from speaking but the way Sunghoon’s hands carefully ran up the side of your body, his breath filling your ears, you could feel yourself melting.

“You were with her, didn’t think you wanted me anymore” When Sunghoon heard your response he stopped the running of his hands and let out a scoff, how could you have possibly think that?

“Baby you’re all I ever want. I was never with her in the first place nor would I ever even think about having someone else when I have you” Sunghoon’s voice rippled in your head as you tried to finally understand what he’s been telling you from the start

“But she was in your office” You mumbled, “She wiped her lips in front of me like a mockery. She was setting her claim on you” You huffed out feeling the anger rise in you, remembering the moment that has been haunting you nonstop

“But you already made your claim on me”

“I can only hold one and I choose to hold yours” Sunghoon turned your body to fully face him and he saw how your eyes refused to meet his causing him to smile, he lifted your head up by your chin, “Baby I’m forever yours”

You finally looked to meet his eyes and you could see nothing but sincerity in them and you could feel the warmth melt into you. “You promise?” You murmured and he nodded his head

“I promise my whole life on it” You finally allowed yourself to indulge in the very thing you’ve been longing for ever since you deprived yourself of it, you grabbed his nape before bringing his lips to crash onto yours. All tension and unease melted away in the kiss and Sunghoon engulfed you in his arms as he held your body close to his

Your and his lips worked in synchronization like they were made for each other, Sunghoon tried to pour all of emotions into that kiss as it was soon growing sloppier by the minute. “What about Jake? Always saw him with you, I was losing my mind seeing the way you were smiling at him” He gasped in the kiss before moving to plant kisses onto your cheek and neck, you hummed feeling the sensation as you shook your head

“He’s just a friend, a mere distraction from you” You responded and you could feel the way Sunghoon’s grip tightened around you before chuckling against your skin

“A friend now huh? What else happened when you weren’t talking to me?” He asked, detaching himself from you to hold your hips in his hands, you could see the familiar glint in his eyes as he stared at you like a starved man

He brought his lips to whisper in your ear, “You let him fuck your used up pussy?” The degrading words made you clench around nothing and Sunghoon could feel the way you knees slightly buckled at his words

“I got you baby don’t worry” He assured you before attaching his mouth back onto your lips before sucking on your sweet spot causing you hands to tangle in his hair

“Never” You let out a breathless moan as you could feel how he nibbled on your sweet spot before soothing it by running his tongue over it

“Good girl” He gently guided your body to have your back pressed against his desk as his breath fanning yours as he rested his forehead on yours, “I missed you so much, you don’t even understand how much I did” Sunghoon tenderly held you as he softly recaptured your lips with his

You wrapped your arms around his neck as his hands rested on your hips, “Missed you too, so much” You spoke in the kiss causing your teeth to clash together as the kiss became desperate

Sunghoon broke away from the kiss to let himself softly play with the top of your pants, “Let me take care of you baby, need to show you just how important you are to me” You nodded your head with need, letting Sunghoon bring your pants and panties down all in one shot before guiding you to sit on his desk, discarding everything on it

When he caught sight of your glistening of your lips, he almost let out a groan before allowing his fingers to spread your lips apart, “So wet for me”

“H-hoonie” The nickname that was only reserved for you to use fell from your mouth as a moan

“Gonna show you that you’re all I ever need” Sunghoon told before looking into your eyes and letting his finger slipped past your slick and into you, you gasped and threw your head down.

“Always ready for whatever I give you. You’re such a good girl” He kissed the side of your face ad he pumped his finger slowly in and out of you

You whimpered as his finger alone sent you to heights that you never reached by yourself. “You’re being so good for me, you’re the best of the best. No one ever comes close to you” Sunghoon’s praises sent your heart afloat

Sunghoon slipped another finger into you and you could feel the stretch growing as you gripped his forearm, gasping loudly as he continued to move his fingers in and out of you seeing how you coated them beautifully.

He laid your body down on his desk, as he admired how finger disappeared in your hole in need. You let your head fall back onto the desk but you immediately shot your head up when you felt the contact of Sunghoon’s tongue on your clit.

Your hands unconsciously gripped on his hair as his fingers pumped out of you as his tongue flicked over your clit before giving kisses onto it. Your moans began to loudly fill the room

“Hoonie, Hoonie, Hoonie!” You chanted his name like a prayer as he continued to bring you only what he could make you feel, a wave of pleasure washed over you as you came, forcing Sunghoon’s fingers out of you as they were covered with your release

You panted heavily trying to come back from your high and Sunghoon adored the scene in front of him. He removed his glasses to softly place them onto your panting self. When you opened your eyes in confusion, you saw how he looked at you in pure awe. You looked so beautiful in his glasses, that he made a mental note to buy you a matching pair with his.

However, you couldn’t even ask him because your body jolted when Sunghoon’s mouth came to contact with your needy self as he moaned, tasting you your sweet venom that he could get lost in.

“The sweetest thing to ever exist” He blabbed against you as he sucked harshly and letting his tongue tease your gaping hole

Your hands found their way back into his hair as he sensually ate you out to savor you. The slurps were obscene on the ears but it felt like a paradise. Sunghoon placed your legs over his shoulders in order to burry his mouth deeper in you, as he kept lapping at your pussy.

His nose finally grazing your clit without his glasses interfering and the familiar build up in your stomach soon began to rise again.

He noticed how your hole clenched around his tongue and he smirked as he gripped onto your thighs to continue to eat you like a starved man. “Cum on my tongue baby” His soft voice of encouragement made you whine as you kept letting out breathless chants of his name

His nose continued to rub over your clit and he could tell you were getting closer as your hold on his hair tightened painfully but he didn’t mind.

You felt your second orgasm shoot through you and Sunghoon hummed happily as he continued to place kisses and licks across your soaked core as you rode out your high.

When he finally disconnected from you, a string of saliva connected from his lips to you caused him to give a foolish smile at the sight. You panted heavily unable to open your eyes from the amount of pleasure you were in, as your head was against the desk but you could feel it being raised by Sunghoon.

You lazily opened your eyes to see how from his nose down, he was completely covered in you. Sunghoon rose to his feet and lifted your weak body from the desk up and brought his covered lips onto you.

You could taste yourself on him and you slightly grimaced but Sunghoon’s hand prevented you from pulling away.

“You taste how good and sweet you are? I could get lost in you forever” Sunghoon spoke as you desperately kissed him back

The kiss lasted longer than what either of you had intended but it was able to showcase the hidden feelings that you were too afraid to admit.

You were the first to pull away as he chased after your lips causing you to chuckle softly before stopping him. He opened his eyes to look directly at you and you felt the harsh flutter in your chest.

“The prettiest girl to ever grace the earth” He honestly told and your cheeks flushed wildly at his words he planted a soft kiss against them

He unbuckled his belt to bring his pants down mid-thigh, just enough to have his cock spring out after being held in the confinement of his pants for so long.

Sunghoon carefully spread your legs apart for him and your pussy shined with your arousal and release as he noticed your hole clenched around nothing, begging to be filled.

He slotted himself between your legs as he smothered his tip leaking over yourself and you gasped feeling him and your mind became dizzy from the taste of his tip alone, “I’m going to take care of you, let me do all the work baby”

His cock lined up with your entrance as he teased the tip against your gaping hole to adjust you to his size and he noticed are you were desperately trying to sink him more into you, which caused him to pull back. “Come on baby, be the good girl you are and wait”

You bit back your lip to hold back your whimper but your mouth dropped feeling Sunghoon fill you in one deep thrust.

He groaned feeling your tightness even after he prepped you, “How is it that you’re always so tight?”

“B-Big” You let out in a breath and no matter how many times you tell him that, his ego will always skyrocket from it

“I know baby but you always take everything I give you. You can handle it” Sunghoon soothed you by rubbing your thigh, letting you get adjusted to his size

As your heavy breathing subsided and you gave a weak nod as his sign that he could move, he made sure to start off slowly and drag him in and out of you.

His deep thrust was calculated to be slow and sensual as he wanted you to have it engraved in your mind that you were the only one for him.

With his deep thrust he was able to hit your sweet spot every time and you were falling apart on his cock. He noticed the daze he was putting you in as he captured your lips.

The kiss was able to speak louder than any words ever spoken between the two of you. Sunghoon thrusts in you kept repeating in the same pace and you were softly whining against his lips.

“You’re absolutely perfect” He pulled away from you place his head against the crook of your neck, his pace slowly picking up but he made sure to hit your cervix every time

“H-Ho-Hoon” You let out a broken breath but Sunghoon whispered your ear that caused your heart to quicken in its beats

“Say my name. My actual name”

“Sunghoon”

The way you breathlessly called out his name, set fireworks off in his heart. The two of you knew this simple interaction was far too intimate for just professor and student who go on dates, kiss each other senseless, lay in each others arms talking about nonsense until late in the night, and simply two people who will always get lost in each other.

“I love you” From your hazy daze, you felt a bucket of cold water splash over you as your eyes popped open hearing Sunghoon’s confession, it was the three words neither of you dared to say but seemed to mutually share

Sunghoon’s thrust continued and the twitch inside of you made your clam down on him. “Come with me baby” His words were all you both needed as you both came together

His cum shooting deep inside you, as you coated his cock with your release. Your pleasures mixing together as it forced a white ring at the base of his cock. You whimpered as his slow thrust came to a stop as he stayed inside of you.

Both you and Sunghoon coming down from your high together as your sweat covered foreheads rested against each other as the two of you panted heavily before looking into each other’s eyes.

“My beautiful girl” The pure endearment of his words filled your already swollen heart

Sunghoon noticed even though it was faint, the moment of unease in your ease caused him to look at you with confusion. Your gaze avoided his as your mind filled with only one thought. What was now going to happen between you and him now that summer break was starting.

Will you continue to see each other after the moment shared or will the two of your take your words for granted and lose each other in the process?

“What are you thinking about baby?” He softly asked as you pulled away from your forehand to look at you as you still refused to look at him

“Look at me” He softly turned your head to face him properly as he noticed your glassy eyes, he felt his heart shatter at the scene before brining your body close to him.

He carefully creased his hand over your aching body as he remained still inside you and you shivered feeling the slightest movements inside of you. The two of you stayed in silence as he silently comforted you.

“Let’s get you cleaned up” He softly murmured as he could feel your mixed released trialing down your thigh that laid with his, you only nodded your head not trusting your voice to not break if you spoke

Sunghoon smiled daringly before carefully easing himself out of you and right when he did, more of the released gushed out of you. He chuckled at the scene before rubbing your thigh. “We made a mess” He joked causing you to finally let out a soft chuckle

As he grabbed tissues, he began to guide them over to clean you up, making sure to not miss a spot. And when his fingers rubbed over your sensitive self, you shivered as he whispered soft apologies placing butterfly kisses on it to help ease the overstimulation.

When you were all cleaned up, he grabbed your discarded panties and pants and your body too far sore and exhausted caused him to carefully guide them back onto you.

He quickly placed himself back in his pants and buckled his belt, allowing you to fully catch your breath without him crowding you.

When he noticed the daze look finally fading from your eyes, he carefully sat you upright before going to sit on his side of the desk. You turned your head confused to him but you let out a yelp when he brought you off his desk onto his lap.

He looked to you on his lap, creasing your face with such delicacy.

He pulled away to rummage through the first drawer of his desk until he finally found what he looking for. You could see the slight hesitate as his hands remained in his drawer, his eyes focused on the ticking clock in his office before finally pulling out an envelope.

You looked at him confused as he handed the envelope to you, ushering for you to open it. When you carefully opened the envelope and pulled out the paper in it, your hand almost dropped it in pure shock.

You read over the paper nonstop as you couldn’t believe what you were reading.

“Come to Italy with me” Your gaze moved from the bought plane tickets to Sunghoon who only stared at you with hopeful eyes

“I’m no longer your professor” Sunghoon motioned to the clock he was staring at before giving you the envelope that showed the time, 5pm, the university was officially closed for summer break.

“I meant it when I said I love you”

“And I finally want to properly be yours and make you mine” Sunghoon confessed the weight that laid on his heart as it finally lifted, he knew his feelings were risky, he was still a professor and you were still a student at the university just no longer each other’s as summer break started

Sunghoon knew he could likely get fired for this but if he had to choose between his job or you.

He would always choose you in a heartbeat. “Let’s spend our summer vacation in Italy together baby” You chuckled out a bright smile before hastily wrapping your arms around him nodding your head eagerly

“Yes, of course!” You agreed to his planned trip and Sunghoon held you tightly in return, pleased to know that he can finally properly make you his without a single worry

“Sunghoon” He hummed when he heard you faintly called out his name, “I love you too”

✎ᝰ。

: I actually can’t believe you’re in Italy right now when you told me, your friend btw in case you forgot, that we were going to spend summer break rotting away together

: But instead, you’re soft launching your boyfriend that I didn’t even know existed until now, with his arm all wrapped around you as you show off the new tiffany & co. bracelet he got you

: I hope you know I am not forgiving you until you tell me who your mystery boyfriend is so you better fess up soon

You: :)

——

[nereidprinc3ss]

trolley problem

in which fem!reader has been gambling with her life and spencer reid is more than a little concerned

flangst, hurt/comfort warnings/tags: passive suicidal ideation from reader, she keeps risking her life, that really grinds Spencer’s gears, established relationship, existential dread, existential euphoria, lots of stuff about grief and death and self worth, not advocating for this, pretension from the author, blasphemy probably?, reader gets fuzzy from prescribed painkillers, arguing, hospital stuff, mention of sleep paralysis involving spiders, reader gets shot but she’s fineee, I pander to intro to philosophy takers, bau!reader, neurodivergent coded reader, if she’s not exactly like you I’m sorry, bean soup a/n: one day you’re in a writing slump literally the next you are in your notes app for six hours writing whatever the fuck this is but I think I love it even tho it’s weird and I hope u like it too!! btw this was gonna be called cotard's syndrome but then I never once talk abt cotard's but if u care that might be interesting context for the motif of not feeling human/alive, WC 3K

Spencer hasn’t spoken to you since the doctor left the room five minutes ago. 

The air is antiseptic as you take it deep into the hollows of your lungs and trap it there for a moment, trying to optimize oxygen intake without actually having to breathe very often. Hospital smell is as universal as it is suffocating. It reeks of everything but death—flowers, blood, bleach, vomit. A humiliating, desperate scramble to defy the very thing that defines mortality. It’s pathetic. It reminds you of the worst instances of failure and loss and denial in your life. It curdles your blood. Literally rots you from the inside out. 

You’ve had ample time to ponder that smell over the last few months because you keep ending up here, and some time ago you decided the institution of the hospital is inherently absurd. It’s stupid to think you could avoid the one absolute condition on your corporeal form: impermanence. It is the only thing that is promised, and people still waste their lives away running from it. It is the ultimate self-fulfilling prophecy. 

So around the time you acknowledged that hospitals are simply monuments to the self-importance of man, you gave up on trying too hard to preserve yourself. You’ve seen death too much and too often. You’ve tried staving it off with prayer and the miracles of modern medicine, and it never matters in the end because it’s all magical thinking anyway. All the wallowing and the bargaining and pleading never got you anywhere. 

You’ve accepted that from the moment you were born, you were marked for death. 

But you’re not a complete nihilist. You’re not even totally resigned to the abject certainty of death—because you’ve found a loophole.

Everyone has as many chances at escaping death as other people are willing to offer them at the cost of their own lives. Not many people are willing to make that trade—someone else’s life for their own—but you’ve decided you are. Because if not you, then who?

It’s not that you don’t see the value in your own life, as Spencer keeps making it sound. It’s just the opposite. You understand that you’ve got an extremely valuable resource, and you don’t just have to sit on it. There are things you can do. Choices you can make. Ways to defy death. 

Just… not yours. 

Or maybe you’re just in deep denial. 

Either way—this is a philosophy your boyfriend intentionally refuses to understand. He gets mad, or some kind of upset, every time you try to explain it. Usually he ends up leaving the room close to tears. You never feel good about it.

Right now he’s presumably trying to give you the silent treatment and not doing a very good job. 

“Stop holding your breath. Why are you—stop that.”

Spencer’s frowning, skin sallow and milk-blue under fluorescent lighting. Purple seeps from around his eyes like spilled wine on a white table cloth. Your stomach turns. 

“Sorry.”

He doesn’t tell you not to apologize. You don’t expect him to. 

“Why are you doing that? Does something hurt?”

Other than your entire bicep being on fire due to the 9 millimeter Luger it recently came into contact with?

“Not really. I just don’t like the smell of hospitals.”

At that, he gets stony again. Like, Medusa stony. You feel a tightening in your chest that has nothing to do with a lack of air. His arms are crossed. A silk lined blazer drapes over your lap, and you wonder if he’s cold in just that white button up. It’s translucent in this light, like onion skin, or maybe something less organic—the folds and wrinkles look like fabric, but lots of things look like something they aren’t. In the Pietá, Jesus lounges dead on his mother’s lap, his cheek pressed to her arm like either of them have warm flesh, and her skirts drape from her knees and fall to the ground in delicate folds just like Spencer’s jacket and looking at pictures of it you swear you could find comfort there too—but if you wanted to make space for yourself next to Jesus you’d have to do it with a chisel and mallet. You’re starting to think that’s what it’s going to take with Spencer, as well. 

“So stop walking into active gunfire. You’ll spend a lot less time here.”

Every deep sigh (of which there have been several) calcifies you further. Ironically, you never feel less alive than you do in a hospital. 

“I didn’t walk into active g—”

“I’m not debating it with you. It’s not a discussion.”

“So you’re just going to be pissed at me for the rest of forever? I mean, if it’s not a discussion—what are you gonna do? Break up with me?”

You feel yourself dripping poison in the well. Even as you say it. As his head tilts toward you slowly and intently from his spot against the wall, and his warning gaze is cold and unforgiving and weighs 3.35 tons.

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what? Talk?”

“Don’t try and manipulate me by implying that there are no options between permissiveness and dumping you!”

“I’m not manipulating you. And I don’t need your permission to do anything.” 

The first part is an incredulous scoff as well as a blatant lie. You are manipulating him. Chisel and all. At least, you were trying to. It clearly doesn’t work very well. His jaw clenches.  

“Is this worth it to you? Fighting with me like we’re children solely so you don’t have to take accountability?”

“Accountability for what? I made a choice. I don’t regret it. You’re upset because I did my job.”

A beat. 

Silence always makes you feel the gravity of your words. 

“Do you believe that?”

His voice softens so much, so quickly, it splinters down the middle. 

You’ve never been known for your light touch. For someone who sees eviscerated bodies nearly every day, and prides herself on her evolved understanding of mortality, you often forget other people are not, in fact, impenetrable marble—they are flesh and blood and bone, and you’ve splattered yourself in the evidence of that. 

“What?” You murmur. You easily turn timid, when you’re afraid you’ve been too heavy-handed. Spencer’s seen you sob over the birds who hit the windowpane and never reappeared from the shrubbery—their delicate wings, their little beaks—he didn’t mean to, Spencer, and now he’s dead! He’s seen you spend forty minutes catching a spider with a cup and an envelope rather than smush it, even though you have reoccurring episodes of sleep paralysis wherein a giant arachnid is sitting on your chest, hissing and clacking its pincers. He knows you are, at your core, kind and good. 

It’s a little scary for someone to know that about you. It’s a little scary when you see your own vulnerability reflected in their eyes and the way they speak to you, the way you see it in him now. 

“Do you believe that the choices you make regarding your safety don’t concern me at all?”

“They’re… my choices to make,” you whisper, but you’re less sure than you were a minute ago. 

“I’m not talking about that—I’m talking about how it feels like you are trying to kill yourself every time we’re in the field.” His voice shakes. You swallow. “You have been hospitalized for four serious injuries sustained on the job in the past five months. Every time I bring it up, you—you talk about life like it’s optional for you. Like you’re not only willing to give it up but are actively looking to throw yourself in harm’s way every chance you get. You think that doesn’t terrify me?”

There’s a small chip in the paint on the wall next to him roughly the shape of Africa. 

“It’s not like that. I’m… I’m just having an unlucky streak.”

He snaps. 

“Luck isn’t going to get between you and a bullet. Ever.”

“It’s my job, Spencer.”

“No. It is a risk of the job. Not a defining feature or requirement. But you keep running toward gunfire like you have a quota to meet.”

“Spencer, I’m not doing it at you. I’m not trying to get myself hurt.”

“Well it doesn’t really feel like you’re trying to avoid it, either,” he shoots back immediately, and you feel the anguish radiating from him until it lodges in your own chest, like it was always yours. Maybe it was. 

You want to make it better, but you don’t know how, and even if you did, he’s pushing off the wall and crossing the room toward the door. 

“Where are you going?” You call, a little too desperately for your liking. 

“You need to eat something.”

Which translates roughly to he’s pissed and upset and he needs to leave the room. You’ve done this song and dance before. 

However, food and an absence of him are contenders for the absolute last two things you want right now. 

“Spencer, please don’t—”

But the door is already whooshing closed. 

You stare at the grey and white checkered floor. Light bounces off the waxen reflection—some sort of parallel universe you can’t reach, perhaps. The whole room is desaturated. A mechanical humming threatens to drive you insane. It doesn’t feel like a place for living humans. You’re not convinced you are one. 

When he comes back, maybe ten minutes later, nothing’s moved at all. In fact you’re not even sure you’ve been breathing. 

The door closes as quietly as it opens. 

This time, wordlessly, Spencer comes to you. You see his shoes first—his serious adult shoes. You wish he was wearing his Converse. 

Then you see the bottle of apple juice he’s cracking open for you. Blue lid. Same kind you always get. 

“You didn’t bring food.”

“You wouldn’t have eaten it.”

Fair enough. 

You take the bottle with your good arm and sip shallowly—all that adrenaline and the subsequent interpersonal strife has left you nauseous. The drink is too sweet. It clashes with the tang of metal in your mouth. 

Still, you drink enough to satisfy him, and then you’re tossing his jacket aside before balancing the bottle between your thighs so you can screw the lid back on. He doesn’t go back to the couch or his spot on the wall. 

Spencer doesn’t pull away when you lean into him, but it does take him a moment to reciprocate. You’re still grateful all the same when he cradles the back of your head to his stomach like you’re made of porcelain. 

“I don’t think you understand how upset I am,” he says quietly. 

Only Spencer Reid could be furious with you and still hold you like this. 

“I’m sorry,” you murmur. 

“That’s not good enough. You need to stop risking your life like that.”

He doesn’t get it. Your brows flutter as they try to furrow but even holding that expression saps you. Maybe the pain meds are finally kicking in. 

“I just wanna help people.”

“That doesn’t explain to me or justify your urge to do it at the cost of your own life. We all want to help people, angel. The whole team. That’s why we do what we do. But we don’t run into shootouts. We don’t split off and provoke people with guns when we’re unarmed and unprepared.”

“But it worked. She got away.” You feel a spark of fulfillment at the memory of Gloria Sanchez in JJ’s arms just before the ambulance doors had slammed you into your first cage of the night. 

“We don’t know if he was going to kill her. He might not’ve fired at all if you didn’t go running toward him. That wasn’t strategic, it was reckless and irresponsible and you know that. I know you do. So something else is going on.”

The pressure in your nose that usually precipitates tears comes as a surprise. 

“I just—if that’s how I can save someone, why shouldn’t I, you know? Why do they have less of a right to live than I do just because they’ve been deprived of the choice? If I have a choice, and they don’t, I should choose to… to help them. That’s my job.”

For a long moment, you listen to your own breath, muffled by Spencer’s shirt, and the mechanical humming, and something dripping, and the low, buzzy chatter of nurses far down the hallway.

When Spencer next speaks you get the sense he’s holding a lot back. His voice is taut enough it wavers slightly. Taut enough that if he weren’t speaking so quietly he might be yelling. It’s like pinpricks all over your body—not enough to hurt, but enough to make sure you’re paying attention. 

“You can’t help anyone if you’re dead. Do you understand me?”

And yes, in theory, you do. But that doesn’t negate your original point. It only takes one life or death moment for you to utilize the most valuable resource you have. What happens after is no longer your concern. 

“On the psych evals you helped develop it asks if you think it’s appropriate to sacrifice the one to save the many. The answer is supposed to be no. If you say yes you get flagged. The FBI frowns upon… lever-pullers. And that’s exactly what I’m doing if I let one person die when I could’ve potentially saved them.”

“Protecting your own life is not pulling the lever. What you’re doing isn’t smart or morally righteous. You’re just throwing yourself across the tracks, too. If you were to fail a psych eval right now it would be because you’re passively suicidal. And you know what? The FBI also tends to frown upon self-immolative delusions of grandeur and girls who like to play sacrificial lamb.”

“’M not a… sacrificial lamb…”

“No,” Spencer agrees quietly, stroking your hair. “You’re not.”

And you can’t react to the fragility in his voice, or the content of his words, and the fact that when he says it he means something different—you can’t do anything about it. You can only catalogue it. You can only know that he loves you, and feel a little guilty about it.

Some time passes. You don’t know how long he remains standing so you can doze against him. He does not smell like the hospital. He’s the antidote for whatever grief they distill from widows and orphans before aerosolizing it through the whole place. 

“Baby?” He asks eventually. You know the lilt of it. He’s been thinking. 

“Hm?”

He hesitates. 

“Can we talk about you maybe taking some time off of work?”

“You heard the boss,” you mumble. “I can’t come in for at least a week.”

“I mean beyond that.”

You intend to respond, but by the time you open your mouth you’ve lost the prompt in all the brain fog. 

“You’re so comfy,” you murmur dreamily. “Thank you for being mad at me.”

If he responds, you miss it. 

You’re imagining the bed waiting for you at home, once the doctor is done observing you—warm, neatly made. Blankets woven with soft fibers. A mattress that will sink under your weight. You think of Spencer, who’s shaping himself to you, Spencer, who intentionally inhales when you exhale at night to make room for the rise and fall of your chest against his. You think of the imprint of his buttons on your cheek. You are both flesh and blood and bone. 

Strange, pill-induced half dreams and visions and memories take over. You’re in that alleyway again. That man fires. You don’t blink or scream or feel. 

Just before the bullet makes contact you’re standing in front of the Pietá. It’s massive. Spencer is there, too, holding your hand. 

You can’t actually see him, only, you know he’s there. You feel his warmth, his presence, when he leans over to whisper in your ear. The way you know him goes beyond sight. 

The Pietá—meaning the pity, in English—is 6’7” and six feet wide. It weighs 6,700 pounds. Michelangelo had to quarry the block of marble himself. He was only 25 when he finished. The Basilica keeps it behind bulletproof glass. 

Jesus and Mary behind bullet proof glass. 

God. Who’d try to kill Jesus a third time? He’s already dead. 

Besides—they’re both made of stone. Bullets would probably just ping right off of them. Or maybe they’d shatter just like you did. 

Probably not though. You’re not actually made of marble. You’ve no idea what it feels like to be a statue and get shot at. You sure know how it feels as a human, though—and it feels like shit. You don’t really know why you keep doing it. None of your reasons are good enough for Spencer, and he’s, generally speaking, pretty smart about some things. 

Maybe you’re tired of being human.

Maybe you’re tired of sleeping on your arm funny and waking up to a hand in your bed that doesn’t feel like yours and remembering all the hands you’ve held moments before they couldn’t hold yours back. Or tired of those moments where you are being held and it’s so unbelievably perfect and then someone has to let go, or when someone you love hugs you goodbye and you realize that there will always be a final I love you, or simply getting older and watching potential life paths fall away like rotten fruit to the ground. Maybe life is sometimes so good it hurts and you can’t bear it. So you tempt fate. You walk a tightrope because even if you fall and it can’t ever feel good again—at least it can’t hurt either. At least you won’t lose anymore. 

And yet. 

It does feel good, sometimes. Sort of often, actually. Even when it’s awful. 

Dead Jesus and Mary, with their marble skin and their bulletproof glass and their holiness and their virginity and all the other things they have that you don’t. Nobody can hurt them anymore. Not ever. 

Maybe that’s something you envy.

But you doubt they’ve ever been so terribly, wonderfully alive as you’ve been, or as comfortable as you are like this, leaning into Spencer’s warmth and his softness, in the hospital, or the Vatican, or your dreams. Your bicep was ruined but it’s healing. You are capable of ruin and rebirth in the same lifetime. In the same day, in the same hour. 

You doubt that in 520 years, behind bulletproof glass and unyielding, eternally flawless skin, they’ve ever felt as invincible as you do now. 

You doubt they ever could. 

[taintedtort]

https://www.tumblr.com/taintedtort/742994409435594752/hello-i-was-wondering-if-you-can-do-a-haikyu?source=share

Hello!!! Can you do this request with kenma, tsukishima and suna pls???? 🥺🥺

" WIPING KISSES! "

summary. you wipe their kisses off (pt2)

characters. kenma, tsukishima, suna

warnings. gn!reader, none!

a/n. i love this prompt, it’s so easy to write :P

KENMA

☆ kenma isn’t usually very physically affectionate, but he likes to kiss your hands a lot. it’s simple and quick, and not that noticeable to other people. however, this particular time he kissed the back of your hand, you wiped it on your sweater directly after. he noticed, but didn’t really say anything because he hadn’t thought much of it at the time. but as the day went on, he realized that you were doing it every single time he kissed your hand. he knows you though, and he’s quick to catch on that you’re messing with him. he’s mildly amused at best, but doesn’t really get the point. you’re trying to provoke him, right? it kinda worked… he‘s not necessarily annoyed, but he doesn’t like that you’re wiping them off.

"quit it."

TSUKISHIMA

☆ he notices and instantly scowls at you. it was kind of your fault for making it so obvious though. he kissed your forehead and you immediately wiped it off with your hoodie sleeve, a disgusted look on your face. it was clearly fake and all a joke, seeing as you laughed right after, but he got petty nonetheless. you apologize through giggles when you see his annoyed expression, but he only rolls his eyes. he eventually gives in, like he always does, but you have to make it up to him by kissing him literally everywhere.

"fine then, wipe my kiss off. see if you get another one."

SUNA

☆ he was taking some selfies with you, and he gave your cheek a kiss for one of them. he was sort of rapid fire clicking, so he actually got a picture of you wiping the kiss off directly after. he looks at you with a confused expression, saying something like "the fuck was that?" you wave him off, but he just pulls up the picture he got and starts examining in. he doesn’t say anything else, just looking at you with an expecting look, silently telling you to explain yourself. you crack and tell him it was a prank, just to rile him up and see what’d he do. he rolls his eyes and places another kiss to your cheek, watching to make sure you don’t wipe this one off too.

"you trying to be cute?"

[augustinewrites]

“babe. baaaabe. babe!”

“what, satoru?” you ask sharply, looking up from your laptop to where your boyfriend has spread himself across your couch, his legs in shoko’s lap. 

he lifts his shades to look at you. “was i your first crush?”

“yes,” you answer quickly.

you immediately return to the report you’re writing, missing the face shoko makes before she says, “that’s not true.” 

“ieiri,” you whisper harshly, but it’s too late. your boyfriend’s already jumped off the couch to lean his palms against your desk. 

“what? i wasn’t your first?!”

“you were,” you insist, glaring at your friend. “shoko is clearly misremembering things.”

“am i though?”

“you know what, it’s fine,” gojo sighs, slipping his shades back on and rolling the sleeve of his t-shirt up so he can flex. “obviously i’m way cooler than whatever lame schmuck high school you was crushing on.”

behind him, shoko’s scoff is the final nail in your coffin. “nanami is way cooler than you ever were.”

you slap your forehead, bracing yourself for gojo’s inevitable overreaction. 

but he doesn’t get the chance, interrupted by a light knock against your doorframe from, you guessed it, nanami kento.

“yaga said you wanted to see me?”

cue overreaction.

“you had a crush on— on him?” 

nanami swats gojo’s finger away from his cheek. 

“oh my god,” your boyfriend breathes, currently experiencing a quarterlife crisis. “you liked this emo nemo?”

nanami ignores him, sending you a questioning look. “he doesn’t know?”

“what is it now?” satoru asks, slumping back into the couch. “did you guys go on a date or something?” 

your lack of answer is enough for him to let his head fall back rather dramatically. 

“can you blame her?” shoko asks. “he was sexy back then. in an edgy, mysterious kind of way. meanwhile, you were like…if a string bean made love to a cauliflower.” 

even gojo doesn’t have a witty retort prepared for that. 

you decide to clear this up once and for all. “it wasn’t just about looks. you were busy after— after riko. you didn’t have time for a relationship or…for me. you wanted to get stronger and i didn’t want to get in your way.”

“you wouldn’t have been—”

“i would have.” you shrug. because you know him, and you know what he was like. “and that’s okay because we were still kids, satoru. and it was only one date! no need to get so torn up about it!”

_____

“what is this?” you ask later that night, when you find satoru hauling a huge box into your apartment.

“it’s a bowflex!” gojo explains proudly, patting the unopened box. “shoko said that i was built like a string bean, so i’m gonna buff up like nanami! and when megumi moves out next year, i’m gonna turn his room into a gym.”

you lean in the doorway, amused. nanami also has a home gym. “is that why you’re also wearing a suit and tie instead of your usual uniform?”

he does a show spin, letting you take it all in. you don’t even want to know how much it must have cost. “do you like it?” 

“you do look very handsome.” 

“i know,” he winks, cocky as ever. “now watch this.”

he brushes a few strands of hair over his eyes, lowering his voice a few octaves as he says, “taxes. office work. satoru, i respect you so much!”

you walk up to him, brushing the hair back to press a kiss to his forehead. “nanami would never say that last thing, but i do like the effort.” 

he loops his arms around your waist, returning the kiss and murmuring against your skin, “did it turn you on though? maybe i should get an office job—”

“satoru,” you whine, resting your forehead against his chest. “it was just a short-lived crush. and it was forever ago! i’m pretty sure you’ve had crushes that weren’t me.”

“nope,” he hums, resting his chin atop your head. “all i’ve ever wanted is you. all i’ve ever needed…is you.” 

[swordsandholly]

Cherry Bomb - tattoo parlor anthology

MDNI | poly 141 x fem fat reader | masterlist

cw: menstruation (not graphic), afab anatomy

Part 4: “Girl Problems”

You shift in the office chair, stomach lurching uncomfortably. It’s been bothering you today - groaning and moaning nonstop. So far you blamed it on the suspicious chicken salad you got from the discount grocery store. You took every stomach soother you could, all the way down to chugging tea on the hottest day of spring so far.

With a rather pathetic groan you stand to meander your way to the bathroom. Surely sitting on the pot will help - at least as a placebo. Just as you do, though, a very distinct wet feeling makes itself known. You freeze, briefly, as if it will go away if you stand still enough.

“Ah, fuck!” You gasp, grabbing your purse and jogging down the hall to the single bath stall and popping the lock shut.

As soon as you sit, you let out a small sigh of relief. At least you caught it before you turned your underwear into a total crime scene. You’d rather not have to explain to John why you need to go home and change. You dig through your bag to your usual pocket of various supplies. From lotion to a sewing kit. It never hurts to be prepared.

Except, as you rifle around, you’re not finding your usual stash. There should be at least three in here… when did-?

The very loud, distinct memory of a girl at a bar stopping you while canvassing for some sanitary products hits you like a train.

“Whatever you’ve got I’ll take.” She practically begged. So, you handed them all over because got forbid someone get stranded during the most hellish week of the month. Like you are now.

You make a deep, frustrated noise in your throat and bury your face in your hands. You’ve been meaning to put a basket of backup wipes, pads, and tampons in the little bathroom cabinet - not just for you but for customers, too. It just kept getting pushed off when you got busy with other things.

Shit. What are you gonna do? If you put your pants back on you’ll just bleed through them in ten minutes. Cursed with a heavy flow (or blessed with a strong connection to the moon, as your former hippie roommate insisted.) Less time than that, probably, based on the vicious cramp that travels from your lower back to pelvis. You won’t be able to get to the corner store with out leaving a war crime in your path.

John’s the only person in the studio right now. He doesn’t have a client for another hour or so but you’d rather die than tell your hot boss you’re bleeding everywhere. For a few, quiet moments, you violently bounce your knee and go through every possibility. Maybe you’ll suddenly turn into the flash and you can get home before anyone even notices. You don’t really have much of a choice, do you?

With another groan you pull your phone from your pocket, thumb hovering over his contact for just a few beats too long while you work up the courage.

>> ok so this is terrible

>> im so sorry

>> but im having girl problems and am stuck in the bathroom

>> im so sorry this is so unprofessional

Girl problems? What are you? In fucking middle school? Before you can send yet another in a long string of planned apologies, John answers.

J >> How can I help?

>> i dont have any products on me

>> meant to stock the bathroom

>> sorry

J >> Stop apologizing

J >> What kind do you use? I’ll go to the corner store up the street

You breathe out a sigh of relief, still nervously gnawing at your lip as you send him what you need with an example picture (just in case) and profusely insist you’ll pay him back. John refuses. You’ll just have to sneak the cash in his tips or something.

It isn’t long before you hear the front doorbell ring, heavy footsteps, then a gentle tap on the bathroom door. “Y’alright, love?”

You perk up. “John, I’m so sorry-“

“Didn’t ask if you were sorry. Asked if you were alright.”

You snort. “Yeah…”

“I’m goin’ to unlock the door to slide these in. No lookin’ I swear.” John says. As if you were worried about that. You trust John. More than maybe any other man you’ve known (not that the bar is very high.) It’s nice of him to say, though. The door barely cracks open, just enough for him to toss the box to you across the floor and shut it immediately. You barely even see his arm. “That all you need?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” You murmur, bending awkwardly and snatching up the box. “I’m really sorry. I know it’s not really… appropriate.”

“Love, it’s normal. It happens. Just get y’self situated.” John taps the door once before you hear his footsteps drift down the hall toward the front.

You feel a bit skittish the rest of the day. You know it’s stupid. John’s a grown man and it’s a natural thing that happens and it’s fine. He said it’s fine. If it wasn’t fine you probably wouldn’t still look up to him the way that you do - the way that you have since you came here. The way everyone else seems to. Even so, you step around him a little wider than usual on your way out - keeping your head hung low and both hands tightly gripping your purse.

You chew your lip, shifting in place as he locks the front door. “Look, John, I-“

“If you apologize again I’m gonna fire you.” John mutters, pulling on the door to make sure it’s properly secured. There’s humor in it, though, the corners of his lips quirked up slightly.

You scoff, still not quite able to meet his eye.

“Sweetheart, look at me.” When you don’t move fast enough, apparently, he tilts your head up with a light touch. His eyes are so warm despite their icy blue shade. Sparkly in the setting sun. “Any man worth his breath wouldn’t give a shite. I’m sorry if that hasn’t been your experience, but really, it’s fine. I’ll help you out a thousand times over if y’need.”

“Okay…” You murmur, suddenly very distracted by the feeling of his fingers touching your chin, light as is it. You pull away and clear your throat, hoping he doesn’t notice the growing heat in your cheeks. “Well, uh, see you tomorrow, then.”

John nods, still smiling. “Sleep well, dove.”

When you come in the next day, you expect to get teased. A snide comment or a sideways look. You would have at any other job you’d worked - especially one with all men. All giggling and poking at you like a bear they know can’t bite back. No one says a thing outside of their usual greetings when you make your way to the front desk, though. Johnny pinches your hip like normal, Simon greets you with his new pun of the day, Kyle gives you a distracted wave over the hum of his practice gun. John doesn’t bat an eye when he says hello and checks in about the plan for the day.

You open the bottom drawer that you usually tuck your purse into, pausing before you set it inside. At the bottom, neatly tied together with a piece of twine, sits a king size chocolate bar and a pack of Midol.

If John notices the way you become extra smiley after that discovery, he doesn’t comment.

A/N: This was very self-indulgent but I’m having a bad time over here and need to be saved.

[griffonsgrove]

omg hello!! I saw you post those vox headcanons and wow I was literally kicking my feet and giggling LOL. I also saw you take requests right now! (at least that’s what it said in your rules) and I wanted to request something : D

could I request general alastor headcanons with a GN! Reader please ? :D

Thank you!

General Dating Headcanons | Alastor

a/n: Of course my dear!! I love how Alastor is portrayed in the series, he’s easily one of my favorite characters! I’ve been wanting to do these for quite a bit, so thank you for the request!

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Wordcount: 1991

Cw: Hazbin Spoilers, minor violence, mentions of death, murder

(PLATONIC):

Ah so you managed to capture the attention of the infamous Radio Demon? You should be honored he even considers you worth his time! Not most demons have that luxury, they never live long enough to see.

Al strikes me as the kind of guy who knows everyone, he’s very observant and has eyes everywhere (his shadow friends extend throughout the entirety of the pride ring). He’s got connections in just about anything. He’s bound to have at least seen you once.

That being said, he views other sinners as inferior to him, if you don't have any power, he doesn't really see you as much of a threat (let’s be honest even if you did, he still wouldn't feel threatened)

He’s quite intrigued when he sees a frail little thing like you walk through the hotel doors. You're here on your own free will, seeking redemption? Oh, this will be quite entertaining.

You’re well aware of who he is, having been in hell for quite some time, even before his 7 yearlong disappearance, you knew to be wary in his presence.

It often left you being timid or skittish around him at first.

The deer demon had a knack for popping up at the most inconvenient of times, out of nowhere it seems (perks of being able to shadow travel). He would scare the daylights out of you nearly every time. Whether it was intentional or not, it always got a good laugh out of him.

And that smile…He was always smiling, you can't ever recall a moment where he wasn't, not even a falter. It's definitely an intimidation tactic you think. After all, you're never fully dressed without one!~

Despite this, he’s a charmer. He has this flare about him that oozes confidence whenever he speaks with you, to anyone really. He’s able to talk his way into and out of anything. One of the many perks of being a showman. Alastor is witty, charming and entertaining to say the least. Life is never dull with him around.

And if you happen to be from the same time period?? It’ll only want him to be around you even more! Finally, someone he can relate to in this cesspool.

This man is quite the chatterbox. He looooves to reminisce about the good ol’ days, always talking about how things were in his radio days. He could talk for literal hours and not break a sweat. You’ll often have to politely interject when he rambles on for too long, not that he minds.

Did I mention he can cook too?? Really well, surprisingly. He claims he learned from his dearest mother. He had to put a name to her famous Jambalaya recipe! When you tried it for the first time your socks were nearly blown right off from how much cayenne pepper he put into it. He likes a little spice.

He's!! Always!! Humming!! The man loves to sing, he often finds himself absentmindedly humming old tunes from the 20’s as he goes about his day. Whether he’s out for a stroll, enjoying a nice cup of tea, or running around the hotel, he’s humming.

This has been stated before, but Alastor is not big on physical touch from others unless he's the one initiating it. There have been many times where he’s pulled you into a little dance or twirl while he explains something. It never fails to surprise you each time.

He’ll often use his microphone staff to push or touch something, more specifically someone. He doesn't like to touch sinners that often, God knows where they’ve been. You’ve seen him whack Angel upside the head with it before, the spider tried getting a little too close for comfort. But for you he’ll make an exception.

Very well groomed!! He puts a lot of effort into his appearance, and cares about how he projects himself to the public eye. His hair is always neatly styled to perfection, shoes shined, and is always dressed to the nines. I mean did you see how mad he got when Pentious ripped a part of his coat off?

As the two of you begin to spend some more time together, you find yourself often having little meetups, the both of you would chat, share a cup of tea and just enjoy each other’s company. He liked to sit on the patio, he had a little table, and everything set up for you two.

Alastor makes sure to keep an eye on you regularly. He may have his shadow sneak around and stalk you while you're out. He’ll use the excuse that ‘Hell is a dangerous place!’, He can't have some low-life sinner trying to harm you, that would make him a terrible friend!

Undeniably has a soft spot for you that he’ll never admit aloud, he genuinely enjoys your company and likes having someone around that will humor him and listen to his stories. Grandpa.

Overall, Al is quite a good friend to have, you feel like you can confide in him at any point, he’s surprisingly a wonderful listener. The more time you spend together only strengthens your little friendship. Even to the point where you both will grow to have a mutual respect for each other. He initially scared you at first, given his reputation, but underneath all the ruthless chaos is a true gentleman.

(ROMANTIC):

My man is sooo conflicted at first, He’ll spend hours in his den thinking about his feelings. (We’ve all seen the inside of his room, literally half of it is a swamp). The scenery can only soothe him so much as he contemplates on what to do.

This is probably where you will begin to less and less of him for a time being as he works out his inner turmoil.

But, once he finally comes to terms with these undeniable feelings, he decides to confront you privately, away from any prying eyes. Ahem Angel…

Very old-fashioned, this is where he will properly ask to court you. 

You’ll never know this but he was actually kind of nervous, he was worried you’d reject his offer, but imagine to his surprise when you said yes!! He kind of felt giddy.

Congratulations! You now have a cannibalistic deer overlord as your boyfriend

He’s such a gentleman, I literally cannot say it enough, the man was raised right and he respects you! 

You literally never have to open a door with him around. He holds your chair out for you, always walks on the outer side of the sidewalk, pays for every meal and is constantly giving you compliments left and right. And they say chivalry is dead.

Alastor loves to gift flowers to you. Every few weeks or so he’ll give you a new bouquet. They're different each time, some have a meaning while others he simply thought you’d enjoy. You have a special place in your room where you keep them.

Now that you’re in a relationship, the two of you are basically joined at the hip. Wherever you are, Alastor is not far behind. He doesn't want to admit it but the overlord is kind of clingy. He doesn't like being too far from you.

If there’s ever a reason he has to be away from you, he’ll often have a few of his little imp dolls watch after you. You always thought they were cute little fellas anyways.

The both of you aren't exactly private about your relationship, but at the same time you’re not screaming it out from the rooftops either. Alastor is well aware of the dangers you could possibly face due to his status. He’s made a lot of enemies in his time, and doesn't want to see you get hurt on his behalf.

That being said though, no demon in their right mind would try to threaten you.

God forbid they touch you either. They’d be ripped in half before they could even get another word out. 

He's fiercely protective over you. He tries to play it off as nonchalantly as possible, but you know he cares about you immensely, it’s rather sweet really.

Now about physical affection. Things will go very slowly in the beginning, as said before he's fine with things as long as he's the one initiating it. If you two are out for a stroll you’ll have your arm gently looped with his as you walk down the chipped sidewalks. You’ll have to be extremely patient with him, he’s not used to this “love” and “affection”

If you’re ever having a bad day however, he’ll slip out of his comfort zone for you, and allow you to hold onto him for as long as you please, in the privacy of your own room of course.

One of his favorite things to do with you, is to slow dance. There's something so intimate and special about it. It could be late into the evening, when everyone else had gone to their respective rooms for the night, If you listen closely though, you’ll hear the soft hum of music coming from Alastor’s den, he has you in his arms, the both of you gently sway in a slow waltz across the room to the quiet love songs emitting from his radio. It’s here that you truly savor these private moments with him.

Speaking of music, Al loves to sing to you. Oftentimes it may be a ballad or love song, and if you join in with him? He’ll fall for you even more. 

Cooking! He loves to whip up all his favorite dishes just for you, oftentimes you’ll help him in the kitchen, even if it’s the smallest thing. It's become an annual thing you two like to do together. He makes sure that you get only the best meat that this side of hell can provide.

He’ll often call you a mix of different pet names, here's a few of his favorites: Cher, Darling, Beloved, Dearest, Love, Mon Amour, Doll

Which btw on the topic of meat, Al is canonically a cannibal, he’ll often eat demon meat in his meals, and will have you try it at least once.

Admittedly has gotten slightly jealous of his own shadow. The mischievous thing was always trying to steal your attention away from him, oftentimes it would work, you would always give in and humor him, saying that ‘Even his shadow needed some loving too!’. With a strained smile, Alastor shoots a glare at the inky mass of himself, who just looks at him with a smug grin.

Will have you meet Rosie at least once. She’s one of his other closest friends, and a real sweetheart. At first she comes off as really scary and intimidating. but the more you get to know her, and she's for certain that you wont hurt her friend, she’s much more friendlier. 

You two actually bond together somewhat, having little chats about Alastor occasionally, or about her business.

It’s safe to say that this man would kill hundreds if not thousands for you. You have him wrapped around your little finger. If you ever have someone bothering you, they might as well already be dead, because this man will hunt them down like prey. And eat them too.

Honestly, Alastor as a lover is nothing short of wholesome. He’s so attentive and caring when it comes to you. Which is so refreshing to see, especially coming from one of hell’s most feared overlords. Things will most likely start of slow, but if you’re patient with him, all the hard work will be rewarded tenfold. He had initially thought the Princess of Hell’s Hotel was one of the biggest jokes of the century, but what he wasn't expecting was you to be one of the best things to come out of it. You both were cast down to suffer an eternal damnation in hell, but at least now you can endure it together <3.

[anchoeritic]

girl i need your thoughts on car sex with ellie

warnings: eighteen plus content, minors do not interact. sexual intercourse (obviously), oral sex, vaginal sex (fingering), overstimulation, ellie is a certified & badged munch. ellie is also a top in this i fear.

there’s two different kinds of car sex i see with ellie:

the really desperate kinda sex where your hands are all over each other, kisses are so sloppy that she’s barely catching your lips and all the two of you can do is try to peel each other’s clothes off hastily.

maybe after a party or a night out and you just couldn’t wait to get home so you take it to the car. all ellie’s doing is muttering about how desperate she is just to touch you, feel you against her own body. repeating the same phrases of; “i need you, baby” and the occasional cursing between kisses.

her goal to please you is the first thing on her mind. which probably explains why she’s always trying to unbutton your jeans when the two of you are making out. her lips aim to make you feel good, especially between your thighs. the one place you really needed her the most.

she’d dive between your thighs anytime; day and night. but when she craves you desperately, there’s never a warning. once the first layer of fabric is peeled off, it doesn’t matter if your panties are in the way. she’s not opposed to tasting you through them.

but she prefers to push them aside, says you’re especially sweeter. you wouldn’t know whether to agree or disagree until she’d pull herself back up to kiss you, making you taste yourself off of her lips. sweeter than candy, she always says.

her hair’s a mess from you tugging at it while she was tongue deep inside you, face all shiny from what came after it, and your thighs are shaking violently. but she has yet to stop.

did i mention that she aims to please you?

she wouldn’t stop until you were on the verge of passing out, practically at a loss of words for the immense amount of pleasure she’d put you through. by the time you’re done, not only are the windows foggy but the leather seats are probably sticky too.

but there’s also the type that’s soooooo gentle. ellie taking her sweet time with you, making sure you’re laid back comfortably in the backseat and kissing down your neck.

her touch is soft, holding your hips down so she can leave plenty more kisses down your stomach. when she reaches your waistband, she’d wait for you to nod before continuing.

it’s overall very intimate. ellie likes taking her time with you when she can because she loves to explore your body. she wants to know what you love, what you don’t, what you need. every aspect of you has a story to be told and she wanted to know all of the details.

even if the narrative laid beneath the lace of your panties. she’s a tease, there’s no doubt about it. like a cold thumb pressed up against your clit while her hot lips trailed your inner thighs, or cupping your core and watching as you pathetically tried to rock yourself against her hand. she was quite the tease and she loved to watch you fall for it.

“you that needy for me, baby? can already feel how wet you are,” she’d mumble against your lips, slipping two digits between your wet folds. “so pretty. look at how good you took my fingers,” your moans would be left uncovered, ellie wanting you to be as loud as you could be.

she’s such a lover. one thing about ellie williams is that she is definitely a lover. she loves you and loves giving you pleasure. oh, and she loves praising you.

constantly telling you how pretty you look when your head is thrown back or how good you take her when you’re wrapped around her fingers. she loves to make you feel good about yourself even when you don’t feel it.

and she’d never complain about reminding you. whether it’s telling you or showing you.