#you will not curate a good online experience for yourself if you do not learn how to respect others in the same space as you

[lordmaddie]

People seem to have forgotten/never learned the old rules of the internet. One of the primary tenets was:

Lurk moar

Before engaging in an online community, take some time reading other people's posts without commenting. How do people talk to each other? What are the main ways people interact? Can you spot different etiquette in different situations/sections of the site? When people interact, can you tell if it's a casual relationship? Can you tell when people are friends, or strangers? Can you see if people have been in the community a long time? How do they act towards others? Can you spot when someone is being rude or disrespectful? How does the rest of the community react to certain behaviours? Try to figure out what attitudes and conduct are frowned upon. This is a skill that is required very much 'irl', but don't let the anonymity of the internet lull you into poor conduct - you are still interacting with real people and those people are still deserving of politeness and consideration. If you'd like to make friends and participate in online spaces, you do need to make the effort to fit into those spaces, out of respect to your peers.

there are no hard rules for human interaction but honestly i think everyone online would benefit hugely from operating under the assumption that, unless you have been given a specific reason to think otherwise in discrete instances, internet strangers do not want to be approached with:

your trauma, illnesses, or deep-rooted self worth issues

any come-ons or sexual content

over-familiar playful rudeness

information about your dnd characters/ocs

disagreements with their harmless subjective opinions

if it is your first time speaking with someone i can not highly enough recommend that these do not be your opening topics

[exorexic]

-ˏˋ⋆ Self Care With a Restrictive ED ⋆ˊˎ-

Taking care of yourself is essential, especially when suffering with an ED. Here’s a list of activities that can help you focus on self-care without involving food ✩

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵

1. Shower or Bathe ✧.*

Enjoy the refreshing sensation of warm water. If a full shower feels overwhelming, try washing your hair in the sink or using wet wipes or a soapy hand towel to feel clean. Enhance your experience with bath products like oils, body scrubs, and bath bombs. These small luxuries can be a wonderful treat for yourself, and a good distraction.

2. Skincare Routine ✧.*

Establishing a skincare routine can be a soothing and rewarding ritual. Explore different face masks, cleansers, and toners. This not only takes your mind off food but also gives your skin a healthy glow. Treat yourself to products that you enjoy using; you deserve it!

3. Nail Care ✧.*

Caring for your nails can be a great way to practice self-love. Whether you do it at home or visit a professional, keeping your nails trimmed and filed can boost your confidence. Consider taking biotin supplements to strengthen your nails, especially if they become brittle.

4. Exercise ✧.*

Find a form of exercise that feels enjoyable for you. This could be walking with a friend, biking, swimming, or dancing. Choose activities that feel good for your body and mind. Exercise burns calories, which is a bonus! Swimming especially isn't as hard on the muscles, and is a good choice if you are too tired to do conventional forms of exercise.

5. Crafting ✧.*

Engage in creative hobbies like sewing, embroidery, knitting, or jewelry-making. Crafting can be a fulfilling way to express yourself and pass the time. Plus, you get to enjoy the tangible results of your hard work!

6. Curate a Music Playlist ✧.*

0:00 ───|────── 0:00 Create playlists that inspire you, uplift you, or reflect your feelings. Use platforms like Spotify or YouTube to explore new music or revisit your favorite songs. Music can be a powerful way to shift your mood. You can even make playlists to inspire you to keep ✨ving.

7. Journaling ✧.*

Write down your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Journaling can help you process emotions and reflect on your journey. You can also try gratitude journaling, where you list things you’re thankful for each day.

8. Reading ✧.*

Dive into a good book or explore articles on topics that interest you. Reading can transport you to different worlds and offer a welcome distraction.

9. Mindfulness and Meditation ✧.*

Practice mindfulness or meditation to help center yourself. Apps like Headspace or Calm can guide you through short sessions that focus on breathing and relaxation.

10. Gardening ✧.*

If you have access to outdoor space, try your hand at gardening. Tending to plants can be therapeutic and offers a rewarding connection to nature.

11. Volunteering ✧.*

Consider giving your time to a cause you care about. Helping others can provide a sense of purpose and community, redirecting your focus away from food.

12. Learn a New Skill ✧.*

Challenge yourself to learn something new, whether it’s a language, cooking (but not for yourself), or a musical instrument. Online courses are widely available and can be a fun way to engage your mind.

[orangepanic]

I'm probably going to regret this later.

I had a good friend say to me recently that she's not reading any more books by white men. Clearly she was looking for congratulations. Instead, all I could feel was sadness.

To me, the point of pushing for diversity and representation in media is exactly that. Diversity, and not just to put points on a scoreboard or get kudos from your socially-minded friends but because you actually care about broadening your mind. For too long, too few people's perspectives and experiences have been overrepresented in history and popular culture, which limits our thinking and perpetuates the kinds of marginalization and discrimination that hurt society as a whole. We need to actively, aggressively correct that. But to me that means a process that is additive, not subtractive.

Add books to your reading list by people from different backgrounds and cultures, or that center characters who aren't like you. And "aren't like you" should be broad. Read a different genre than you'd normally pick up. Read about somebody older or younger than you, someone whose brain works differently, or someone who grew up in a different part of the country, even if they might look like you on the outside. Do this, but don't only do this to the point that reading becomes a chore or a performative action, or to the point where you're now cutting out other perspectives entirely. I hear so many sad stories these days about how little people read, and I think part of that is because there's been a push for reading as a requirement, as education, and that only certain kinds of books are okay to read because they contribute to this goal. That's such crap. Read what you want because it is fun! But then also add to that experience with new, different books. You never know what else you might like (looking at you, native Hawaiian vampire story). Growing your reading pie isn't about "no more of this" but "yes, more of that."

And the same can be said for fandom. Fandom has always been as space for people to explore different kinds of characterizations and relationships that aren't heavily reflected in popular culture. That's largely why we have transformative works. But lately I see this almost puritanical push in fandom for everything to check certain boxes when the whole point of fandom and fan creations is to make shit up. Don't see enough hairy-chested mlm werewolves on screen? Draw your favs as hairy gay werewolves who kiss! And if you've never thought about your OTP as werewolves, be open-minded enough to explore it, or to read someone else exploring it just to see how it is and stretch your brain a bit. Maybe you'll like it, or learn about werewolves. Maybe you'll hate it. Either way, support each other.

And like the books, this process should be additive. Push yourself to be open to more ships and interpretations of characters and canon. Also, curate your fandom experience, and if you explore something and it isn't for you, that's okay. It's for somebody else. And the fact that it contains no werewolves doesn't make it wrong, or boring, or toxic, or anti-werewolf, or something you need to tell the creator not to make anymore because you want to be seen in online spaces as coming out against what is unpopular so that you, by reflection, will look popular. If you do this you're looking for the fandom equivalent of kudos for saying you'll never read a book by a white man, leaving everything from Neil Gaiman to Tolkien on the table and thinking that makes you look progressive instead of sad and small and like you're trying desperately to sit at the right table in middle school. In short, fandom isn't a zero sum game any more than reading is. And real diversity in fandom means adding in the content and perspectives and characters we're missing, both on and off-screen, (and not just the ones you like, but the ones you might not) as well as not weeding out the ones that we already have. We can have more together, not less.

[theshadowsingersraven]

I had this drafted around elaingate, and now that my fever has finally broken, I can piece together my thoughts on the absurdity that is this fandom and the rhys week tamlin and rhys' sister piece debacle. Because, of course, no one has learned anything from elaingate to now, and it's time to wake up and smell the coffee.

If there's one thing about this fanbase that I've noticed so far, it's that people will accidentally tell you exactly who they are in the most embarrassing way possible. What's the main takeaway in the overlap of the rhys week drama and elaingate?

Art, purity culture, and "victimhood." And people deciding who does and doesn't get to fall under the latter.

The thing that I appreciate about elaingate (and I guess Rhysgate??) happening is that it outs the people in this fanbase who don't see art that doesn't cater to them as having same rights as the art they do like/are comfortable with to be celebrated and appreciated in a community event about a character.

It outs people who only care about "protecting survivors" if their trauma conveniently matches what SJM believes to be abuse or trauma. It outs people as having the same performative inclinations of "protecting victims" as pro forced-birth/anti-choice pundits do. Rhysand’s sister, a nameless character, is the perfect "victim" to create an upheaval about because, like Elain, no one actually has to sacrifice anything or do any difficult self-reflection because fictional characters will never ask anything of you.

Remember this quote from Pastor David Barnhart? It's pretty relevant.

"The unborn are a convenient group of people to advocate for. They never make demands of you; they are morally uncomplicated, unlike the incarcerated, addicted, or the chronically poor; they don’t resent your condescension or complain that you are not politically correct; unlike widows, they don’t ask you to question patriarchy; unlike orphans, they don’t need money, education, or childcare; unlike aliens, they don’t bring all that racial, cultural, and religious baggage that you dislike; they allow you to feel good about yourself without any work at creating or maintaining relationships; and when they are born, you can forget about them, because they cease to be unborn. You can love the unborn and advocate for them without substantially challenging your own wealth, power, or privilege without re-imagining social structures, apologizing, or making reparations to anyone. They are, in short, the perfect people to love if you want to claim you love Jesus, but actually dislike people who breathe. Prisoners? Immigrants? The sick? The poor? Widows? Orphans? All the groups that are specifically mentioned in the Bible? They all get thrown under the bus for the unborn."

Rhys' sister and Elain are the perfect vehicle for people to feel like they're "morally just" for "protecting" from...Tamlin. And people creating specific dynamics between these fictional characters, too, I guess. Because they're evil or whatever, I suppose.

"But, Raven!" I'm sure some of you are already scrambling to say. "There are real people in this fandom triggered by Tamlin, and they were hurt! They were so upset/disgusted that they left the fandom because people cared more about fictional ships than their triggers/feelings!"

And I'm going to hold your hand while I say this as a fellow survivor of DV.

No one is responsible for my triggers and caring for my own mental health other than me. And that applies to everyone else in this fanbase, too.

It's my responsibility to curate my online experience as much as possible to my own needs. This space is voluntary to be a part of, and if I no longer feel as though it's conducive to my mental health overall, then yeah, it's probably best for me to leave. Same with everyone else who felt like they shouldn't be in this fandom space because of the elaingate upheaval.

If people rightfully pointing out that this fanbase is extremely conservative and aligned with purity culture and morality policing to the point where art is policed in relation to celebrating a character during their own week is too much for someone because of the narrative around one of the characters involved...then yeah, it sounds like this isn't a good environment for them anyhow.

There's no judgment to be passed on the side rightfully saying this fandom is fucked up, whether or not people are ready to hear that. People saying art that features Tamlin in relation to another character event still has a right to be celebrated so long as that character in the event is depicted has no bearing on whatever real person Tamlin represents to the people that were triggered.

There's only so many ways people can actually be realistically protected from content that triggers them, and tagging is the most consistent way to do so. If the protection of tagging triggering content somehow still isn't enough for people when they might happen upon art depicting a character for one day out of a one-week period maybe is also still too potentially triggering for them, then maybe being in a fandom space isn't the best for their overall mental health and stepping away from it isn't a bad thing.

(And that's all without getting into why its totally fair for peoppe to question how true that ""stance"" of "protecting survivors" actually is when the Elain Week event's tagging system is consistently ignored and not used to actually protect survivors from triggering content. It's interesting how people spent more time angry at people who were adamant about the right to celebrate art instead of the event itself for not having a remotely thorough tagging system. How are you "protecting survivors" from triggering content, including yourself as the event runner, without tagging anything from character names to triggering content/events someone might view? Let's not forget how wide-spread triggers are, too. People have trigger warnings for content involving eyes or spiders due to phobias, not just events that they might have personally experienced, like violence.)

Back to the main point, however.

Issues like these out people as not understanding that creativity means bending the rules of canon however you want, because these are characters, not real people. But real people are making this art, and its value and worthiness of being celebrated is not up to anyone's personal discretion (including event runners) even in situations of discomfort.

It's a shame that the first upheaval happened regarding Elain since she's rarely appreciated outside of her ships anyway, but this Hell-hole of a fandom has had this coming for a while now. This is an absurdly conservative, rigid-to-canon, puritannical fandom, and unfortunately, Elain Week was the match that started this fire.

As a writer, I'm always going to have a hard stance on this because appreciating and celebrating art does not end where my personal likes and comforts do. Appreciation does not look the same for everyone, and just because it's not how you would personally celebrate a character does not mean it stops being appreciation or celebration. Your preferences are not and never will be the end-all-be-all of artistic appreciation in a fandom space. If you don’t see that, the block button is right there, and I've been using it very liberally.

You either stand for all of fandom integrity and creative works, or you don't deserve to be in this space. And I will very happily remove you from my space here since, as far as I'm concerned, you don't deserve to be in mine, either.

[bi-writes]

a guide to b's blog

some general blog guidelines:

i do not promise to write your requests, but they are welcome

everyone is welcome here as long as they are not a minor or an asshole

i do not accept compensation for my work. i am very blessed to have a wonderful job irl that enables me to live comfortably. there are many other writers in this fandom that would benefit and genuinely need your financial support. if you would like to pay me for what i do, i will only accept pictures of your pets, comments, and/or reblogs.

i can write about whatever i want, whenever i want, in any fandom i want

i write in all lowercase most of the time. i will not apologize for this, and i don't care how you feel about it. bite me.

i do not follow a writing schedule; i write by vibes, and sometimes they are off

if you send me anon hate (or hate at all), it will mostly likely be deleted/blocked

if you send me anon hate (or hate at all) about another blog, it will never be posted, even if i want to clap back at you

i will always try to be kind and considerate, but i am not afraid to defend myself or speak up when i see something i don't like (so you better be ready to back up what you say before you say it--i keep receipts, and i will do research to prove you right or wrong)

things about me:

20s

she/hers/her

cis

straight

a huge bitch :) <3

things i don't like or tolerate:

artificial intelligence/machine learning in creative/artistic spaces (this includes character.ai, lore.fm, etc)

criticizers of noncon/dubcon writers

zionists

homophobia/transphobia

ableism

racism

misogyny

minors in clearly adult spaces

people who can't admit they were wrong about something even after learning new information

people who can't reflect on their actions and apologize for problematic behavior

things i do like:

patience

open-mindedness

thoughtful perspectives

curious questions

good vibes

kindness

comments + reblogs

genuine connection

what i will write (if it is not included on this list, you should assume i do not write it):

angst

comfort

fluff

smut

dubcon (reader is always consenting in my works, but some scenarios i write might be considered dubcon)

fem!reader, gn!reader, afab!reader

cumplay

piv, unprotected piv

oral (m!receiving, fem!receiving)

breeding/pregnancy kink

size kink

graphic murder/gore/torture (not against reader, but some themes of my work include this)

blood kink

uniform kink

mask kink

if anything on this list bothers you about me, leave me alone and just go away. block me if you have to. filter my content. you should curate the online experience you want for yourself, and if that doesn't include me, that's okay.

if you choose to stick around, just be kind and enjoy. i am so glad you are here, and i hope that you have a good time. <3

[arcadekitten]

Asking anonymously because I don't want people attacking me for asking. I wanna ask an honest question: am I supposed to support Mareggie and just... ignore what Reginald has done? With how it's written, with it being quite toxic and unhealthy, I don't really understand how I'm supposed to exactly root for Reginald to get with Mary. If anything, and with how you've told their story, it seems like I should do the exact opposite.

It's confusing and I just want to understand. I've tried my best to follow along and understand, but I've just found my stumped, unhappy, and quite frankly uncomfortable with what feels like an incredibly romanticized depiction of an abusive relationship between a deranged psychopath and the target of his obsession.

I don't intend this ask to cause an uproar or anything else, I just really want to understand what you're trying to convey. And please, don't write off my questions with a, "oh, you'll learn in the next game" or "well maybe you shouldn't play my games". I've followed your games for years as a *fan of your work* and I've tried to stick to it the best I could, but recently I've found myself struggling to hang on with the direction you've taken your story and writing.

sincerely,

a concerned fan of your work.

You’re welcome to feel uncomfortable with my OC's relationships, especially since I like to portray complicated relations and horror themes within my works.

But without spoiling anything, and regardless of what I’ve put in my games, Mary and Reggie do both mutually love each other. They have just been under the unlucky circumstances of being written by me, because I love putting my characters in dire scenarios/stories.

I know you seem quite adverse to waiting for future games to release. But everything you see in my game catalogue is questions I’ve been building up so that they can be answered later. It’s okay if you’re antsy and impatient, wanting to know what it all means and wanting to know why Reggie acts the way he does--that’s my intention.

It’s an overarching mystery, as such it’s made to make you wonder and want more. Those are normal feelings to have.

What isn’t normal is coming into my ask box and trying to seemingly accuse me in a roundabout way that I support abusive relationships, given the way that you have phrased some parts of this.

As a bonus: I know that some people like to use this phrasing for not-so-good purposes--but the stories I make are not endorsements of any real life behaviors. If you find yourself in a toxic/receiving-end-of-a-stalker relationship OR have been in them before, and find the dramatic stories I write to be hurtful or hit too close to home, then please by all means disengage, block me, and curate your own online experience. I am not offended by anyone just taking care of themselves.

[lauramkaye]

PSA

If you mock someone for some harmless* thing that brings them joy, you are being an asshole.

*seeing something on social media that you don't enjoy is not harmful. It is your responsibility to use the tools available to you in order to curate your own online experience.

Cynicism, mockery, cruelty, apathy - these are corrosive, and they damage the people that use them just as much as the people they are used against. The more you try to chip away at someone else's joys, the more you damage your own ability to experience joy. It's a process of corruption.

So often, the things we are most inclined to mock and attack in others are reflections of the parts of ourselves that we are most ashamed of. The cruelest people are often the people that hate themselves the most, who fear themselves the most, and are desperate to direct attention on others to save themselves from being the targets of the same hatred that they so freely spread.

Just as it's easy to learn these patterns of behavior, you can also unlearn them. Do it in phases.

When you see something and want to say something about how cringe/embarrassing/whatever that thing is:

Think whatever you want, but don't post about it.

Once you've broken the habit of reflexively posting, practice thinking "I don't enjoy X, but that person does. That's okay, I don't have to do/enjoy X just because someone else does."

Next thought to practice: "I may not enjoy X, but that person does. Good for them to have something that they enjoy."

Next thought to practice: "It's nice to see positivity and excitement and creativity. Everyone deserves to have hobbies they love."

And then: "What is it about X that they like so much? They seem to be drawn to the bright colors/happy endings/emotional tone/pretty people."

And then: "You know, I think I might like Y for similar reasons that they like X. I prefer a neutral color palette and subtle textures while they seem to like very bright colors and bold textures, but we are both enjoying the aesthetics of the art. Well met, fellow art enjoyer. I'm happy each of us was able to find some art that fits our taste."

And then sometimes after a while: "You know what, I haven't thought about this in a long time, but one of my friends used to make fun of this hot pink sparkly notebook I had when I was in school. I really loved that notebook, it made me feel happy to use it, but after my friend said those things I threw it away, and then I started making fun of other people with similar ones so my friend would think I was cool. It's sad that something that made me happy once got turned into a weapon I used to make other people unhappy. I'm glad I don't do that anymore."

Then you get yourself another pink sparkly notebook. And you use it. And you let it make you happy. And a little sore place in your heart that's been festering heals.

[chandlermead]

How do you buy designer on a budget?

Vestiaire and beacon’s closet have been my go tos, unfortunately beacon’s closet doesn’t have an online store anymore 🥲 goodwill does though and you can find great stuff that have been authenticated although the pricing can be a little hit or miss. I know other people use depop, I haven’t tried them out yet.

*If you’re interest is boycotting fast fashion I have some useful suggestions, if not just ignore the rest of this post.*

First thing is to obviously stop buying fast fashion. Sounds easy but it’s a hard habit to break given the convenience and price. Currently I would assume you have enough clothes that are in good enough condition that you can make do with what you have even if they aren’t your favorites. In my experience anything fast fashion usually will not end up being your favorite. It has a big payoff when it’s brand new but a short shelf life by design.

Thrifting is great. Thrifting is also going to take some time to get use to. It doesn’t have the same appeal as walking through a store designed to entice you to buy and want everything you see. A lot of what you are going to find is boring to you, but you’re also going to see some interesting stuff even if it doesn’t end up coming home with you. So your expectations for thrifting should be to explore and enjoy the process. Sometimes you find a couple new favorites sometimes you leave empty handed. It is a lot of fun to bring a friend along and make a day out of it. Just be respectful.

Another tip is learn to repair your clothes. Sewing back on a button, patching a hole, etc. it’s cheap and easy and there is a YouTube video for every possible fix. You make really enjoy this process and branch out into more experimental things like dying, embroidery, alterations. You may end up even trying your hand at making your own clothes, it’s not as complicated as you may think and there are so many free patterns and tutorials out there. Experiment and get creative, you’ll become more informed and a better shopper even if your favorite part is binge watching the YouTube videos.

All of this is a process that you will get better at over time so go easy on yourself. It isn’t mindless consuming, it’s a skill. It takes time to build up, cycle through, and curate a wardrobe. Not everything you own needs to be high end or even high quality if you are consciously buying.

[melancholic-entrails]

found this, felt wholesome, was about to reblog then saw the "proship fuck off thanks" so to respect their wishes, i am going to post a copy of their message here, because all of it was great except the end

( really, how do you say "learn to be a decent person" and then next sentence you say "proship fuck off thanks") i cropped out the username cuz i dont want someone to harrass them/anxious ( just in case). i copied and pasted the text to underneath the image!

[start of text description]

Shoutout to self shippers that don’t like sharing their f/o(s), there’s nothing wrong with feeling jealous, sad, possessive, some characters are very special to you personally, or you just feel so deeply and dearly for them, and that’s okay. I get it. Doesn’t matter if the character is extremely popular or completely unknown, you’re valid. Same goes for not wanting to see canon x canon ships with your f/o!

And if you’re only comfortable sharing with certain people that’s cool to!

Self shipping can be an incredibly personal experience, and there’s no right or wrong way to go about it, you’re not inconsiderate or greedy or annoying or anything for being uncomfortable sharing .

Your f/o(s) love you so much, always remember it’s okay to curate your experience selfshipping online, it’s perfectly okay to block tags and or blogs if you need to. Don’t make yourself suffer by continually exposing yourself to discomfort 👍

This post does not apply to you if you actively hate on / send hate / are shitty to other people that do share your f/o(s). Learn to be a decent person.

[end of text description]

i wanted to add on to their point, because everything they said was good, they were just being gatekeepy- which is their perogative, i just think positivity should be for everybody and i would like to make it accessible. op if you see this, please don't reply as a: i'm in your dni and b: i'm posting this for the sole reason of spreading positivity. so yeah, everything op said also counts for proshippers and profic peeps. <3

[flipperoclock]

it’s really sad to to see the idea of sketchbooking kinda ruined by perfectionism. like it’s a sketchbook not all drawings need to be absolutely beautiful rendered pieces. i strongly believe that sketchbooks should be for litterally ANYTHING you want to draw and shouldn’t have to be limited to “oh well i won’t look like a good artist if i fuck up a sketch”. you are not supposed to create masterpiece after masterpiece. it’s ok to fuck up! you are not a machine or a stupid ai. learning by making mistakes is incredibly common and makes a person more human. sadly the atmosphere around creating a sketchbook is so filled with performing for an audience that it is impossible not to run into that mindset at least once in your journey as an artist. it’s a tough hurdle to get over but once you do it it’s so freeing. you are not obligated to be perfect 24/7. experiment with shit and have fun with your art!!!

since 2022 i’ve completed 4-5 sketchbooks and it’s so freeing to have a creative outlet like that. one of the best ways to get out of your head about sketchbooks in my opinion is to take one with you EVERYWHERE you go. doodling your interests and ocs, drawing what you see around you, or what means a lot to you no matter where you go is such a great way to express yourself.

burn out and self doubt are always part of an artists journey but the only way you have truly lost is by never creating again. sketching and getting ideas out onto a page is so helpful and remember that people curate what you see of them online 🫶

[averynicebowlofsoup]

With Hazbin getting released, I just have a few thoughts because I'm tired and internet culture/etiquette online these days has gotten out of hand.

If you do not like something, keep it to yourself. If you don't have anything nice to say, just move on and don't interact with it. Or instead of making blatant, hateful statements, open a discussion so everyone's perspectives can be heard and seen. Please. For the sake of other people who find joy in different types of media. In a shocking turn of events, Hazbin Hotel is not real. It's not based on true events, it's not made to be some social discussion, it's made for entertainment purposes.

If you are not entertained, you're allowed to leave the show and find something that DOES entertain you. Please stop shitting on other people for enjoying something.

Stop shitting on the actors, stop shitting on the writers, stop criticizing this show frame by frame, moment by moment. The full season isn't even out! People are so quick to judge and assume things about this show. Before it even came out and things were leaked, people immediately jumped to conclusions and were sending death threats and hate to creators and if you were not aware, that isn't normal behavior.

Viv has her issues, sure. We all do. We're human.

I just want to enjoy a show I've been so hyped about for months now that just brings me a little joy in a world where it's hard to find. I want to enjoy it without scrolling and every other post seeing criticism, hate, or 'I like this but--' No buts. You can like something without tearing down something else. If you think something could have been better, that's what fanfiction is for. That's what fanart can be for. Make the content you want to see. And if you can't make the content you want to see, go looking for it or shocker, just ignore the show. Ignore the content. It's not hurting anyone else.

Vitriol and hatred on the internet are becoming so normalized and its getting tiring. You can curate your own online experience.

People need to learn to read as well. If you don't like musicals or think the singing is too much, then don't watch Hazbin. It says in the first sentence of the description that it's a musical. Ding ding ding, red flag, you probably won't enjoy it. In the warnings at the top of the screen, it says it has foul language. If you don't like that kind of thing, it probably won't be for you.

Please for the live of all that is good and holy, just allow people to enjoy something. There are shows I really don't like but I'm not going to waste my mental energy or thoughts on hating something I don't like. I'd much rather pour that energy into something I love!

I'm just a little guy trying to find some joy in a fucked up world and if I can escape by watching a show about hell, please just let me. It's not that hard to block people. It's not that hard to simply ignore.

TL;DR: stop hating people for liking/enjoying/interacting with different forms of entertainment and put that energy into something else, please.

Curate your online experience and find a little joy in something instead of tearing down people/creators.

To those who enjoy the show, to those who just pour all of their love into it by making fanart, fanfictions, thoughtful commentary, discussion boards, headcannons, etc, you all get forehead kisses and love. Thank you for sharing in my joy and fueling my love for these goobers. ♡

[splathousefiction]

Thinking casually this evening about the hyper-connectivity of The Modern Internet and how it's broiling ever closer towards overt puritanical fascism because a single evangelical group (Exodus Cry) is strong-arming payment processors, and randomly remembered bathroom wall graffiti.

Always anonymous, it was an effervescent and disgusting way to shout into the void. You had "Jesus Saves" next to public contact information of queers. You had slurs and ongoing arguments that lasted until they were literally buffed out of the steel panels or painted over. Depending on the locale, the walls would be thick with the words of people long dead. Carved into the wood, granting them a fleeting immortality in a vacuum. Coated in piss, grime and shit, but still there after all this time.

Long after the words themselves had been wrote over, blacked out, buffed out, coated and pissed on. Something of those people remained. If you took the effort, if you peeled back the swastikas and Sherman Williams, something was writ that said "I was here, I existed, I was real. Remember me, please god".

And.

I don't remember the last time I saw that kind of graffiti.

I don't remember the last time I was in a truck stop and I saw "ON THIS DATE IN HISTORY, JOHN DOE SUCKED MY COCK RIGHT HERE". I don't remember the last time I saw poetry, pictures, art, stickers, arguments so trivial, insults so fucking obtuse in nature that you had to be there, man. Every time I stop for a piss or shit in public now, it's all clean. The walls are bare. They didn't just patch the gloryholes, they replaced the entire fucking wall.

The world has grown sterile and strange and persistent, an entirely liminal space with a corporate logo sign over the door when you walk inside. FFS, the doors don't even chime anymore. And used to, you could at least avoid this gross, brutalist corporatizing by escaping online. You had escape hatches into the unfiltered insanity and beauty of human nature so long as you had a modem.

Maybe the art sucked, maybe the ramblings were incoherent. Maybe it was someone just calling me a [Litany Of Slurs here] for having a different opinion. But in the filth and grime and shit and piss of the world, I was still able to feel something. I could be traumatized and laugh my head off and cry my eyes out in the course of an afternoon.

I had a choice.

We had a choice.

But gone is the bathroom graffiti. Gone is the reality of choice, and in it's place is a convincing funhouse mirror of curation. The paths towards learning new things, being exposed to new ideas and concepts and ways of life have been made clean, clean as those steel walls between the toilets. They put guard rails up so you don't accidently hurt yourself on enlightenment and damnation. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, et al.

It's not just us freaks, geeks and faggots either. That's the really depressing part. The internet has become so grossly corporatized that life saving resources, educational opportunities and more are now being blocked in schools, public libraries and sometimes by demand of the state. You can't do research, you can't find new art, new music, new ideas without a fucking VPN anymore just to access legitimate and legal resources.

And for what? To what end? So some corporate entity can have a 5% increase in earnings that quarter?

Evil isn't always some dude with a cape and a mask cackling. It's not always some elderly senator begging for us to bomb more people. Sometimes, evil is a slow poison that rips the soul out of something. Sure, what's left still walks and talks and smiles, but it's off, man. And so it will limp along until it's violently fish hooked into the Akira-like fleshmass of some corporate interest.

Denying the grime, piss and shit of human existence, denying us a chance to experience the ugly, the mundane, the horrific and the divine in equal measure is to deny us an inherent path towards understanding ourselves. Safely curated corporate spaces don't beget curiosity and questions-it holds a pillow over both of them in their cribs, applying pressure until they stop flailing. Then it tries to sell you the pillow at a discount.

It takes the multi-faceted splendor of the human experience, and shoves it in a sterile room with other similarly-minded people. It bolts the door from the outside, and by the hour begins reducing the oxygen within. It gets sold as some kind of cleanse in one of those instagram ads you see, posted by a robot with art created by AI and at no point in any part of this series of Posting Good Capitalism was a human touch ever involved.

Capitalism kills in meat space, and it's being predictably successful in online spaces as well. They're not just blocking access to DIY HRT and queer history, they're removing any evidence of it from servers. They're seizing your ability to buy drugs (if you want, as a consenting adult). God forbid if you want to look at porn (again, as a consenting adult) anywhere south of the mason-dixon line.

The net isn't just getting cleaned, it's getting made sterile through a slow series of psychological assaults on our very existence.

So before the whole shit-house goes down in flames, a few things.

You gotta keep being openly, loudly fucking weird. If we're going to be subjected to data curation from AI, your posts have to be so openly radioactive they'd make the flesh slip right off an entire advertising department. You gotta make a CEO afraid you're gonna shit on his desk and piss all over his paper work. Who cares if you get bullied or people think you're cringe. Fuck, at least you'll be you. At least you'll be authentic. At least you'll be fucking human and feel something.

And.

If worse comes to worse.

And you find these words somehow, some way, buried beneath the off-white eggshell paint, carved right into the sheetrock above that freshly-cleaned porcelain.

we were here, we existed, we were real. Remember us, please god

[chengfagshi]

I need certain people to understand that it’s okay to dislike something, or to feel disgusted by something

No really, it’s okay! Disgust is a natural response from our body that protects us from potential harm. But a disgust reaction alone is NOT EQUAL to harm!

For example, some small children think greens (veggies) are disgusting. However, the existence of veggies alone and feeling disgust doesn’t cause harm

now apply this to fandoms

it’s okay to feel disgusted by fan works

it’s okay to have squicks

it’s totally fine to have “do not wants” and “do not interact”

it’s okay to block whatever and whoever. You don’t even have to give a reason why!

it’s also okay to criticize fan works (if someone consented to it or if you rant to a friend about it or make some vague mentions about it)

But what will never ever be okay is to tell someone that their and the works they make/published are disgusting and harmful because you (general) feel triggered.

It’s also not and will never be okay to be the nastiest person to someone else either. I don’t care how disgusted you feel, but I bet most people do this because angrily beating something down they think causes harm feels good. Getting those likes retweets for telling someone “hahaha kys pedo!!” gives a sense of (fake) justice and moral superiory

But also, why surround yourself with things you dislike when you could surround yourself with the things you like? Isn’t that so much healthier? Doesn’t that bring more joy?

Stop being an asshole, stop reading the fanfic if it’s not fitting your tastes, mute and block accounts and terms, and definitely use filters to weed out things you don’t like

thanks to a robust tagging system, avoiding something has become easier than ever. The internet and social media will never ever cater to one person alone, and definitely not to you. It’s your job to curate your own internet experience and if you can’t do that, then ask your parents, other relatives, teachers etc

This 💯. And it applies to EVERYTHING online. Not just the gross "icky" stuff. I saw someone's art the other day. This character had really big boobs and really big thighs and someone felt the need to post this in the qrts, which ended up getting 100K likes.

Ok, you can hate "horny artists" if you want, but no need to announce it to the world and be a mean bully bitch about it. People do this with straight ships too. God forbid someone ships fucking JaneSeth in zzzero. People will throw a fit because they headcanon her as lesbian and that means their hc is the only one that matters apparently, despite Jane flirting with men and women in the game. I remember when headcanons were these fun little things in fandom that you had without being like "Well she's ACTUALLY a lesbian and if y'all don't agree, you're lesbiphobic". People need to learn to block and move on more. Instead of being a dickhead to ppl, curate your online experience. Commenting on something you hate all the time is actually gonna make you see it MORE often, but they're not ready for that conversation.

[kendochick-moor]

Yo!

To clear up any confusion:

1) absolutely, check in with your fav fandom authors, ask how they're doing, bless them with appreciation and tell them what you enjoy in their fics, and then you may politely ask if they know when they may have an update coming.

2) do not EVER, say or imply to an unpaid, fandom author that they owe you an update or owe you an explanation for any 'delays'. It's none of your business.

3) an extension of 2): do not E V E R try to emotionally manipulate an author by gaslighting them. Do not try to make an author feel bad for not updating, or imply that the mere creation or posting of a fanfic implies ANY form of contractual obligation on the author's part to continue the story for the purpose of MANAGING A READER'S EMOTIONAL HEALTH OR EXPECTATIONS. It's awesome when a writer can provide regular, dependable updates but this is fandom and it's not a job, so it's going to fall second to IRL.

4) a reader is responsible for their own life, their own wellbeing, and their own curation of their online experience. If someone can't do that, then they need to leave until they have the maturity to do so. Point blank. The rest of the world will treat you respectfully if you do the same, but do not EVER expect them to accommodate your demands to make you comfortable when, ultimately, it's a 'you problem'.

Learn to grow and/or learn to deal with conflict. If you're an adult, then the rest of the world isn't here for your character growth. Conflict isn't a bad thing so stop treating it like it is. Conflict helps us figure out where we must improve. Avoiding conflict breeds stagnation and cowardice. Avoiding conflict prevents us from learning. Avoiding conflict narrows our views until only our own, tunneled, short-sighted and uninformed ones remain. Stop looking at conflict with an attitude of winning an argument and start looking at conflict for the amazing learning opportunities it can provide. Conflict teaches us about each other and that's a very good, important thing. But you need to understand that it can be hard or it can make you feel uncomfortable while you're going through it. Instead of avoiding conflict, look at why you don't want to face it and learn to sit with your uncomfortable emotions. Then ask yourself why they feel uncomfortable.

Lastly, if you're afraid of a fight, then sit down and shut up. Don't hide behind "looking at both sides" of the argument that you fucking started @valiantauthorbonkweasel. You need to suck it up and deal.

-- and stop emotionally manipulating people in a weird effort to make yourself look like some kind of... well-intentioned, impartial, good guy, i think was what you were going for and failed so hard at? Whatever.

[unreadpoppy]

Internet 101, Fandoms and curating your online experience

I saw some stuff happening both on tumblr and on twitter (and sometimes even on instagram) regarding some fandom stuff and I wanted to make a post about, but in more of a "How to keep your peace of mind and create a healthy space" sort of post. These are just some things that I do that allow me to have a better experience on the internet as a whole, but especially on fandom spaces, and idk, I wanted to share bc navigating this sort of thing can be hard and it doesn't hurt to try and help.

One thing that I've learned very early on by people who had been on the internet for longer than me is that you do not feed the trolls. Listen. People will post shit to stir the pot, and you giving them attention is falling into their bait.

And I get it, I'm human too, I see someone talking shit and I feel the urge to give them a lenghty reply but at some point you gotta stop and think: is this worth it? like, i'm getting mad over a rando on the internet who'll probably just laugh at me. Even if we really feel like answering, it's probably always better to let it go.

And while I'm on the topic, I also want to say the following: no matter how many good arguments you have, no matter how eloquent you are, you cannot change people's minds. I've tried it and all it did was make me stressed. And especially with regards to bigots, they will not change their minds, so don't give them your time and your peace of mind because they do not care about you or your feelings. I'm a queer disabled latina woman, I get it, it sucks and it will always suck, but people will not change what they think because of lenghy ass paragraph someone on the internet sent them, so it's better to just...move on.

And by move on, I do mean do not interact in any way, shape or form. Just...scroll past it. Because it's not worth it, it truly is not, and more likely then not, even by just giving the post or person a small bit of attention, you could cause a whole situation. Do not give people clout, because then they'll get the satisfaction of both having attention AND causing such a reaction from another person.

Like, speaking from experience here, I have received a few hateful/mean spirited anons on my inbox over the years and you wanna know something? You will not find those asks on my blog because I have a 0 tolerance for hate anons. Replying to them only generates more hate anons (trust me, I've seen that happen to other people). When you show someone that you're not affected by the shit they're saying, they'll move on because you are no longer a target. This is why is so important to know when to not interact and just continue moving on.

Still on this topic but more related to fandom. People will have different opinions then you. People will have different HCs then you. People will misinterpret your favorite character. Hell, I've seen takes on my faves that honestly insult my intellect and you know what I did?

Let it go. Just scrolled past, made a mental note not to interact with that person, because again, people won't change their minds. And people are entitled to have their opinions, and enjoy characters in a different way then you do, and the best thing to do is not give them your time. Just don't. It's much better (and probably healthier) to spend your time interacting with people you like and who you can talk to then try to change a person's opinion and pottentialy instigate a fight.

For the sake of not making the same point again and again, I want to talk about blocking people, bc blocking people is the easiest way to curate your experience. There is no morality in blocking. You're not some evil bastard or a super hero because you blocked someone, so don't ascribe morality to that. Just block whoever (and whatever, because blocking tags exist) you don't want to see and move on.

Finally, my last advice is: somethings are best kept private and by private I mean get yourself some friend who you can just talk shit about to. Listen, sometimes the urge to be like "this bitch online is an idiot" is BIG and the best thing you can do about it, in a way that won't cause a fight or whatever, is to go to some friend and say "let me talk shit for a few minutes". Trust me, IT WORKS. So many times I've been tempted to say stuff, only to go to a friend and talk about the stuff and then boom, I was done. I was okay. So yeah, there's stuff that is better to be sent in a groupchat then to be posted about.

This post is longer than I intended but I feel like we should try to just have fun? This is the internet, the good part about it is that we can choose who we can engage with and what we want to say, and it's way more productive to spend your time with people that matter, that you care about and that make you happy then stressing over people who simply do not care and who will not change.

Anyways, peace out

[leedongwook]

seeing the other anons on here, regarding the whole reblog vs. like debate on tumblr, is interesting to me. and i must say that i'm a bit amused by the fact that getting blocked apparently causes so much anxiety in people that they simply refuse to use tumblr as intended. i was anxious when i got my first anon hate or when i was first blocked by someone 10+ years ago when i was still a teenager myself, but i'm glad that i always understood that none of this was a me problem. haters be hating, trolls be trolling. there are millions of bored, dissatisfied people who come online just because they think it's funny to make other people angry. this is why getting blocked and blocking others is a daily occurrence for every normal blogger on here, just as it's normal to meet people in real life who simply do not and will never like you for reasons x, y, and z. it's par for the course, it's life, baby, but nothing you should take personally because, in the end, we're all strangers here and none of this determines your value as a human being!

also, blocking is one of the most important tools to curate (a) your dash, (b) the tags you frequent, and (c) the interactions others have with you. it's quite literally the most polite, respectful, no-drama way to ensure that you do not start unnecessary online fights that are nothing but a big waste of time. the most efficient way to ascertain that you do not expose yourself to people, blogs, and content that you know make you angry, sad, or anxious. blocking is not a hateful action (well, if can be, but i think we should appreciate silence and keeping a respectful distance to each other over open hostility, flaming, and cancel culture). blocking is the tool we use to prevent trolling, cyberbullying, arguing, and cognitive dissonance. and that goes both ways! if somebody blocked you, always assume they have a reason for it, even if it may an incredibly simple or vague one. there must be one. and that's okay, and probably good for both of you. if the other person knows that you two will not get along, then trust in that decision and move on with your life.

like, this is the internet, with millions of strangers (many of them very young, and many more of them simply stupid af) who have very strong opinions on the most banal things you could never dream of arguing about. the other anon said they received hate for reblogging things: welcome to the club! i do point to what i already said above and want to ask directly: did you know that you can block anons in your inbox? did you know that you can disable the anonymous option in your inbox or even disable the entire inbox if necessary? did you know that you can disable comments and reblogs on your posts and that you can curate who is allowed to hit you up via chat function? did you screenshot the anon hate and share it privately with a friend so you can make fun of it together, as god intended? i promise that handling hate and curating your user experience aproperly gets easier the more you use all the tools that tumblr offers you.

most importantly, did you eventually manage to externalize the problem (i.e., realize that the real problem is the person who sent you hate) instead of internalizing it (i.e., thinking that you are not allowed to reblog/post anything anymore because some stranger on the internet was being an immature baby in your inbox once)? the last bit is essential. you have to learn that your blog is your house, and you can decorate it however you want, as long as you follow common netiquette regarding tagging and such. other are allowed to block you if that helps them curate their dash, as much as you are allowed to block them if that helps you to curate your dash.

if those are the big reasons why so many users are only liking posts but never reblogging nowadays, then i'm honestly unsure if you (@ the other anon, but also everybody else who might potentially read this and relate) should be on tumblr of all places. being able to handle some cognitive dissonance while you are blogging, whether it's because of something you come across while scrolling through tumblr or something that is directed towards you specifically, is essential. this is not instagram or twitter or tiktok, where the algorithm allows you to consume passively (i.e. liking posts) while remaining in your comfortable echo chambers and still contributing meaningfully to creative work, communities, and fandoms (i.e. your likes actually affect the algorithm in favor of the content you liked, which equals more exposure, which can even be turned into real life money).

tumblr is a content-centric website that is about curating your person dashboard and filling your own personal blog while not relying on a like-based algorithm. ergo, reblogs are the only currency on tumblr that truly counts because they are the only action that actively leads to the circulation of other people's content and facilitates the discovery of new blogs and users that you can connect/interact with. yes, liking is a quick form of appreciation, and we all use the like button for a variety of reasons that are all important in their own right, but you do not contribute to the survival of fandoms, to the real validation of creatives' works in form of more exposure (because unlike insta, tiktok, and co., likes and exposure are not linked here), and to the circulation of content by only using the like button. that passivity is not an issue on algorithm-based social networking sites because they do have an algorithm, but it surely is a problem on tumblr.

just to be clear: liking is not forbidden or frowned-upon in a general sense. but on tumblr dot com, unlike many other social networking sites, it's meant to be a side hustle at most.

if anyone feels unprepared or anxious to handle the tumblr-specific environment that was created for blogging (i.e you are meant to contribute by actually filling your personal blog with content that you either made yourself or that you reblog from others), then idk why y'all are here, in all honesty. i must ask this: do you even know what a blog is? it certainly feels like a lot of people all came here with the expectation that this is twitter 2.0, but the reason we're here is specifically because this is the blogging website. the website specifically made for blogging. why do people come to the blogging website just to refuse to reblog or post their own content? if all you want to do is use the like button, why aren't you literally anywhere else except here? nobody forces you to be here if that's not the type of social media experience that you enjoy. if you do not want to use the main feature of tumblr, which is Having Your Own Blog, then simply use sites where you do not have your own blog and are not expected to use said blog. it's as simple as that! don't complain when bloggers point out that you're simply invading their blogging space with foreign ideas of how netiquette must look like – tumblr has never been like the more popular sites, and that is a deliberate choice and something we love and appreciate it for! do you all also create wordpress accounts and then complain about having to use wordpress like it's intended to be used? do you also go to the gym and then complain that you have to actually use the dumbbells yourself instead of letting somebody else do all the work for you? i highly doubt it.

it makes absolutely no sense that so many people come to a place that has a specific environment only to refuse to adapt to how it works, which is why i find this entire debate so silly. we have so many websites we can choose from, but people choose to stay on the blogging website to complain about blogs and reblogs to the bloggers who have been blogging for years and actually know what blogging means.

meanwhile, the solution is so very simple: you could, instead, move the any algorithm-driven websites and click on every like button in sight until you die of old age! only liking posts does simply not meet the rightful expectations of the bloggers on tumblr who share their hard work on here and ask for no other reward except exposure, which is the same thing that every creator online wants, be it on twitter or insta or tiktok! exposure which you can only grant them with reblogs, because Liking Does Not Do Anything On A Website Without An Algorithm.

this weird passivity shrinks exposure to laughable sizes (200 notes max on a gifset that took hours, and 80% of those notes are likes?!), destroys creatives' motivation to create and share their work in the future, and inevitably deteriorates entire online communities and fandoms. if everyone was unwilling to blog on tumblr, this website would be empty. zero posts. empty dash. then what? you wouldn't be pressing any like buttons at all if everybody brought this attitude to the blogging website that was created specifically for sharing content. google dictionary on "sharing": have a portion of (something) with another or others; use, occupy, or enjoy (something) jointly with another or others. you enjoying a meal alone in your room (liking posts and not reblogging) is not the same as putting the meal on the table (reblogging it to your blog) and enjoying it with others (followers seeing your reblogs on their dash).

it's stupid. imposing algorithm-rotted expectations on how tumblr is supposed to work even though (a) it is fundamentally different from other social media sites and (b) has no fucking algorithm is stupid.

tl;dr tumblr netiquette does not have to adapt to you; you are the ones who have to adapt to the tumblr netiquette. people who have been here for years are rightfully angry at you for not adhering to the easily understandable social contract between creators and consumers.

I’m just gonna leave this here ✌️