#taste and morality are not connected

[lauramkaye]

PSA

If you mock someone for some harmless* thing that brings them joy, you are being an asshole.

*seeing something on social media that you don't enjoy is not harmful. It is your responsibility to use the tools available to you in order to curate your own online experience.

Cynicism, mockery, cruelty, apathy - these are corrosive, and they damage the people that use them just as much as the people they are used against. The more you try to chip away at someone else's joys, the more you damage your own ability to experience joy. It's a process of corruption.

So often, the things we are most inclined to mock and attack in others are reflections of the parts of ourselves that we are most ashamed of. The cruelest people are often the people that hate themselves the most, who fear themselves the most, and are desperate to direct attention on others to save themselves from being the targets of the same hatred that they so freely spread.

Just as it's easy to learn these patterns of behavior, you can also unlearn them. Do it in phases.

When you see something and want to say something about how cringe/embarrassing/whatever that thing is:

Think whatever you want, but don't post about it.

Once you've broken the habit of reflexively posting, practice thinking "I don't enjoy X, but that person does. That's okay, I don't have to do/enjoy X just because someone else does."

Next thought to practice: "I may not enjoy X, but that person does. Good for them to have something that they enjoy."

Next thought to practice: "It's nice to see positivity and excitement and creativity. Everyone deserves to have hobbies they love."

And then: "What is it about X that they like so much? They seem to be drawn to the bright colors/happy endings/emotional tone/pretty people."

And then: "You know, I think I might like Y for similar reasons that they like X. I prefer a neutral color palette and subtle textures while they seem to like very bright colors and bold textures, but we are both enjoying the aesthetics of the art. Well met, fellow art enjoyer. I'm happy each of us was able to find some art that fits our taste."

And then sometimes after a while: "You know what, I haven't thought about this in a long time, but one of my friends used to make fun of this hot pink sparkly notebook I had when I was in school. I really loved that notebook, it made me feel happy to use it, but after my friend said those things I threw it away, and then I started making fun of other people with similar ones so my friend would think I was cool. It's sad that something that made me happy once got turned into a weapon I used to make other people unhappy. I'm glad I don't do that anymore."

Then you get yourself another pink sparkly notebook. And you use it. And you let it make you happy. And a little sore place in your heart that's been festering heals.

[fumifooms]

Kabru party analysis - Trust, and codependence vs emotional unavailability

I flip flopped on calling this a masterpost a lot, but looking back, yeah. While I do compile every fact I can about the party and its characters a significant part of this is interpretation, extrapolation and speculation enough that it's an analysis more than compilation at this point. Feel free to skim, skip around, whatever makes the experience more enjoyable and useful. I’ll also try and compile parallels they have with their Laios party counterpart, since them being foils and ‘shadow version’ of sorts to our main party is a big part of their fun fact meta, I am however most interested in analyzing them as their own characters- and as a whole together as an entity & narrative device. I did end up getting into narrative and thematic analysis for the main story... Mostly the Kabru & conclusion segments though.

But ultimately the goal of this post is mostly to analyze their relationships with each other because I think that’s the messy interesting part of their group, beyond just being a kabru party facts list.

Table of contents:

Kabru + party timeline

Rin

Holm

Daya

Mickbell

Kuro

Relationships and overall dynamic

Do they matter at all to the story?

For easy finding if anyone wants to do a focused reread, the main chapters featuring the Kabru party are 10, 15, 31 and 32, and then with chapter 45 everyone but Kabru (and Rin) stops appearing until the final battle.

Kabru of Utaya & his party

What to say about Kabru that hasn’t already been said, how to summarize him as perfectly and concisely as possible… I don’t think I can reasonably do him full justice here! This is an analysis about his party and not just him so I don’t want to spend forever here. Unlike every other character in his party Kabru is a main character of Dungeon Meshi so plenty of analyses around, meanwhile information can be hard to find and string together for the rest of them or the party as a whole. This isn’t a deep dive on Kabru but a summary, I’ll go over his timeline, goals and general attitude.

This'll be critical for later, but notice here that this means Kabru's party formed 2 years before the story happens. We get no indication of whether or not party members have changed much or little over those years, even if the party overall seems somewhat incompetent. Kabru's profile says that despite his skills, his lack of experience makes him a mediocre party leader and we do have that inexperience with monsters and dungeons, from what we see in canon. It's partly due to his foster mother training him intensively in combat against humans but seemingly not monsters or dungeon survivals, and partly from what we see with canon's framig because Kabru has no interest in monsters- You know and understand what you love better than what you hate, so Kabru is good at fighting humans and Laios is good at fighting monsters. The party does have rather good chemistry in action, with Kabru orchestrating everyone with commands, but they still end up being defeated as often as not, and despite Mickbell's warnings Kabru pushes to go to a dungeon floor lower than he thinks they can handle with their current ressources, for example. Laios' party at the start of canon were broke, but it's only because their money got lost in the dungeon and (chap 28) the bank would take too long to get their tokens back & take money out to save Falin- meanwhile Mickbell talks about being in the red just because of their current unfruitful dive, meaning they aren't as successful and have tighter finances overall. We see the party hanging out in taverns off-work (though not unlike Laios' very occasionally does as well) and things like Kabru meeting Dia's fiance and the party visiting Kabru's room, so they mayy be paralelling how it's said Laios' party hung out very little outside of work? They don't seem much closer for it, though.

One other thing to note is that Utaya is not necessarily his birthplace/hometown? The details are unclear, the adventurer's Bible does refer to it as his birthplace twice, but it's also mentioned several times that his mother was "chasen out", even in the original japanese. It sounds like leaving a town to me, but it could be that they were only driven out to their house and moved to a different part of town...? Either way, his mother was "chased out of home" after he was born beause of his blue eyes. Of course, Utaya is where the dungeon overflow tragedy happened when he was 6-7 years old, so it's the town Kabru and his mom were living in, one way or another. It's also mentioned kobolds lived near Utaya, explaining him speaking some kobold, which kobolds also implies the region had conflict beyond the dungeon overflow considering what Kabru says about kobolds in the kobold page.

Her mom having been "chased out of home" over him and then working hard as a single mother to support both him and herself is likely to have made him feel like a burden, which may have influenced his selflessness: the way he's hardworking, the way he neglects himself, the way he keeps others at arm's lenght (maybe thinking getting closer to him would do them no good)*, the way he can be very quiet and a great listener, gauging others' needs- the same way he was his mom's venting outlet when very young whenever she got drunk. *I explore this possibility more in this kabrin brainstorm post. The insecurity of being an incubus/monster, especially with how Kabru did see people transforming into monsters in Utaya- A very interesting recurring angle for him.

Let's be clear, as Kabru shows again and again his goal was 1) to pierce the mysteries of the dungeon, and 2) ensure that if anyone defeats the current dungeon lord that they won't accelerate the process of the dungeon overflowing or use the power for evil, essentially that the dungeon's power won't fall into the wrong hands, which includes him thinking the canaries shouldn't get the final say in how to handle it all. His goal/plan of becoming dungeon lord himself was to take care of both of these in one go.

He's been at this for years and he's seen a lot of things firsthand when he was 6, so already when he first confronts the canaries at the Island governor's he explains the stages of degradation of a dungeon quite well, he has his own theories that turn out accurate, but he's made them while being barred from most information on dungeons, which the elven monarchy controls access to. Goal 2 is always the main point, but goal 1 is important in order to be able to do it efficiently. Once this, goal 1, is achieved and Kabru learns about the demon through Mithrun, he becomes solely focused on goal 2 again (whereas the On Floor 1 chapters ended with him breaking alliance wth the canaries to demand answer) to ensure the demon stays under control and to stop the current (and possible next) dungeon lord. And then, well, the meeting at Thistle's house happens. Defeating the dungeon then at the beginning of canon was half-cover, a simple unsuspicious way to present his goals, half-goal 1 which would also take care of goal 2 by Kabru himself becoming the dungeon lord, as said. The canaries show up so he indulges in goal 1 while carefully teetering on being an obstacle to the canaries and helping them, and then it's right back to goal 2 with renewed determination together after he and Mithrun fall down into the dungeon and Mithrun spills everything. He doesn't trust Laios as dungeon lord, but he also doesn't trust the elves having the sole duty of managing dungeons.

It becomes this sort of tug of war of distrust, of who does he trust less to ally against, who does he trust more to ally with, which side to take once it's clear his own side isn't viable alone- he ends up somewhat playing double agent covertly through the story, but ultimately he ends up more or less trusting everyone and playing double agent openly with the final battle, quote unquote having faith in humanity & others, which he'd been cynical about for so long, finding red flags in everyone. But yes yes backing up again, he came to trust Mithrun during the six days in the dungeon together, but not the rest of the canaries and when they meet up again he's still on bad terms with them, we see it at Thistle's house where he tried obfuscating Laios' party's secret and pinned Mithrun to keep him from chasing after them, preferring for the ball to be in their court and for Mithrun not to go kamikaze mode.

His interest in Laios also extended to Falin, their party was quite capable and was more or less next in line to beat the dungeon, but since she died and Laios went into it on a shocking desperate mission, Laios becomes a focus of his as they make very quick progress. No one dungeon diving ever went beyond the big doors guarded by the gargoyles, but Laios' party passes through them just a little after Kabru and Mithrun team up.

All these deeper thoughts were largely unknown to his party members before the story.

He’s secretive and often cold with his party. Even Rin, presumably the closest friend he has, the one who’s devoting herself to specifically following and helping him (while the others also seem to admire him and partly follow him to put him on the dunlord throne, they have their own reasons too), is left in the dark with an arm of distance kept between them. Kabru first reveals he's been keeping an eye on the Touden's party during the sea serpent 2 chapter for example, and goes into it a little more during the Toshiro-Laios parties meetup chapters.

Although, it might be more appropriate to say that rather the party members aren't really listening. Kabru spoke about his goal to keep the toudens away from the dungeon lord title here, has a whole speech about influence and power falling into the wrong hands, and their reaction is "we know, only you is fit to be dungeon lord!" when that's never been the actual core of the matter, the point. It was the red herring being set up yes, that that was only what kabru wanted, but ultimately looking back he's always had that guardian type motivation more than leader, being a judge and executioner more than a king on a throne, he wants to support what's good and dismantle what's bad, so it suits him to have become a politician in the end instead of the ultimate chief. That also goes into his arc- him learning that sharing duties and goals is good, that he doesn't have to do everything alone and fully trusting others when teaming up can be beneficial, that he alone doesn't have to be the sole voice, that his shouldn't be the sole choice to be made about matters or courses of action. So going back to the topic- another instance of his explanations being dismissed is in this convo with Rin above- Again he talks about dungeons and reveals hints about his true goals, yet after all of this Rin literally only goes "hmm" and silence falls, and then she says she's hungry. Wether she was contemplative or uninterested, the change of topic is rather quick and unceremonious. And this is the person who'd know best about his motivations too, knowing his past well.

And maybe this phenomenon is also why he gets peeved at Rin here and silently chides her. In a "she should know how to think this through by now, she should've taken a second to observe and remember how we do things, she should think deeper about the true important matters" way etc etc. What are we doing this for, what do you take me for? This kind of righteousness is detrimental rather than helpful and strategic, Rin.

I place both Laios and Mithrun to be very important to Kabru's character and arc, and with Mithrun a significant part of the puzzle imo must have been that Mithrun listened, easily understood. Mithrun understood the gravity and danger of dungeons, was even similarly a victim of one. Where everyone else shallowly misunderstands or dimisses what he says about dungeons and his goals, they're very understandable and familiar to Mithrun, and such bumps don't happen with him. Mithrun isn't playing the social game the same way as others, he just dishes out whatever blunt straight to the bottom of the matter points, he skips the social dance Kabru often gets so hang up on, in a way that helps kabru communicate with him honestly rather than hinder, especially since Mithrun is still quite good at reading between lines. This could be a good part of why they take to each other rather quickly and team up, each other's rationale and plans feel intuitive to the other and they find someone else traumatized by the dungeon, someone who understands, understands not only what he's talking about but also what must be done, the ruthlessness needed. And Laios comes to ultimately balance this out, not invalidating their wants and needs but showing there are other ways to proceed, other people to trust, even when they don't intuitively understand them.

And on that note I want to talk about Kabru and laios' confrontation. I've already said that his "Laios obsession" is about his dungeon goals and that's very straightforward, and it only got to this point because Laios previously dodged his every attempt at closeup info gathering and still now he can't get a read or grip on him. BUT while some think Kabru's "I just wanted to be friends with you" is just a bullshit he made up on the spot complete lie, I don't think so. We see Kabru cycle through some explanations, angles and speeches he has like scripts, like one of them on the second page is close to this. And we know they're like scripts because that's what he said and how he spoke with his party, the backstory talk, the framing, it's all how he presented it to others as well. But he knows none will work on laios, Laios pushes him like Mithrun to go offscript, to find new approaches and communicate in ways that are more vulnerable and uncomfortable. And Kabru has trouble finding that angle that'll work with Laios, because he doesn't know Laios well enough, and that's what he wants, too, it feels so frustrating and vulnerable not understanding him. As his desperation mounts it sort of just slips out- I wanted to be friends with you. Childish, simple, inappropriate for the grave context and very embarrassing. And he immediately freezes and backpedals- BUT Laios endlessly dunks on the very idea that it could be true and that sets kabru off- after which he unloads a more personal perspective of how it was like chasing after him. And I think that's what it is, it's not a lie but it's a bit of an oversimplification- Not the full reason, but a part of it. Kabru wanted them to get to know each other better and get along, for him not to have to kill Laios, a want he still clings onto even when stakes are rising. He says it all himself here, explains his statement after Laios all but laughs in his face in disbelief. I think this scene and the slip-up shows that Kabru does have a desire for connection, that even when he's all calculating and manipulative with his business mode on, there's that desire under it all. And with Laios, well, what better excuse is there to be interested in someone that so conveniently is at the center of his plans and goals for the dungeon? Meeting practicality and genuine interest makes for this- I don't think that's unique to Laios perse, I do think Kabru is interested in people in general like he himself puts it in contrast with the touden siblings who don't, but with Laios the difference is the utter onesidedness of it, the brick wall of social cues he doesn't know how to approach but both needs and wants to. Repressing a desire for social connections, being bound by it despite wanting to not need them, is a common theme in Dungeon Meshi! And I think this fits into that. It's in the grabbing of Laios' arm too. Yes it's from despair, from the situation and from not being heard out, but that despair hides a desire, and it's a desire both to fix everything and to be seen and heard finally. And you could theorize it's his time with Mithrun that made him help realize here that yes there's some truth to wanting to be friends with Laios, and learn to seize the opportunity, to chase it not just through mind games but also try honesty, bluntness...

His arc with Laios (and with Mithrun) is a lot about teaming up imo, his party disappears and accomplished little because he never fully opened up to them, but when push came to shove and he was thrown into teaming up with someone (Mithrun) unfamiliar with no pretenses possible in an urgent situation he slowly gained trust for him, he learns that trust can be valuable even through the risk, enough that by the time he has to make his ultimate choice of going against Laios and even killing, vs helping him and letting him do his own plan, conflicted as he is Kabru still chooses to defend Laios from Lycion and have some faith- and this despite having his own opinion dismissed by Laios in the scene we just looked at. He is putting faith in Laios to have the weight of that world he was carrying alone for years put into someone else's hands, upon their choices, despite it meaning everything to him. Dungeon Meshi is a loooot about community and unity, about reaching each other halfway to have understanding and accomplish things together, better, and Kabru's arc very much is about that whole thing. Laios decides to go with his own gut instead of agreeing with Kabru's pleading, and there's much to say about that, but ultimately I see it as Kabru being forced to reckon with having to put full trust in another person's judgement yes, terrifying and risky, but sometimes it'll pay off. Seeking to understand each other earnestly IS good, and it's only after all pretenses are out the window that things start to look up, compromise shows willingness to do that.

So like. Mithrun's half of kabru's storyline is about being understood, getting some of that social connecting need he's been neglecting and showing how genuineness pays off, meanwhile Laios' half is about understanding others, seeing the flaws in how he approaches others. How do you expect people to understand you if you aren't earnest with them, Laios asks? Lycion hammers it home too, being the one to expose Kabru having been fake with Laios and trying being very blunt and direct with Laios. With Mithrun he learns to socialize without playing 4d mind chess again, it's easy with him befause he's so uninterested in respecting social conventions anymore and is so blunt and honest, and with Laios he learns to apply that. Mithrun is his parallel and Laios is his contrast.

Okay this was the story arc bit now getting back to a character analysis focus. Kabru is interested in anthropology in general, with a genuine interest in learning about people and languages & helping people at large. He's concerned with the greater good and "preventing Utaya from happening again", not because he himself doesn't feel safe but because he wants to prevent tragedies in the world, tragedies that affect others the way he's been before. Kabru is individualistic in the sense that he takes everything upon himself, doesn't readily trust others with decisions, but he's also incredibly selfless. He's dedicating his life to investigating dungeons and stopping their meltdowns, thinking someone else than the elves must get involved, he has personal reasons to be motivated to stop the demon but unlike Mithrun it's not out of revenge but out of a concern for others' wellbeing, while Mithrun's motivations are stuck in the past Kabru's are in the future's. In his determined pursuit of his goals he neglects his own needs and wellbeing- Due to his upbringing with the sheltering Milsiril, Kabru has a hard time even doing basic care tasks like cleaning and cooking, if it wasn't for his landlord doing the cleaning of his rented room for him it'd be very messy, bottles laying around because he drinks alcohol to help with insomnia regularly for one. Dungeon diving isn't all that profitable, especially being Kabru's party, and it's unsafe, and it's uncomfortable, and not exactly well seen- He's not enriching himself either in wealth or status, and yet Kabru his spending his every day and every ressource researching about dungeon diving parties on the Island to keep an eye out for possible future dungeon lords, making influential connections like the shadow governor, and of course dungeon diving itself. He even puts it himself, that he'd rather die in a dungeon in pain than stay at Milsiril's, and it's very important to remember that unlike Laios Kabru hates dungeons- He loathes monsters, is terrified of them and the threat the dungeons make, and doesn't even seem to have true curiosity or interest for dungeons' workings beyond how to stop them from causing harm- his dedication to dungeon diving is solely in relation to his mission. While I'm sure he does find some interactions fulfilling here and there, he also keeps himself from connecting with others, treating relationships either as tools (like drinking is to him) or situations to people please and focus on helping fix their issues like with Dia's fiance, sinking a lot of time into it and not opening up himself, gaining nothing from it except maybe some loyalty and reputation, a sense of satisfaction and a sense of having done a good thing.

The end very much justifies the means with him. He's one of the more politically conscious and few greater good caring people of the cast but he's not without bias, his talking about kobolds for one... more on that in the kabru & Kuro section. He's not blinded by ideas of good and evil since he has no problems with greyer areas if the ultimate result is good- but he can be blinded by laser focus somewhat. His fear over Laios- while clearly not unfounded since kui herself stated that at the beginning of serialization she really thought Laios would become a demon king as dungeon lord in the end- makes him take rash decisions, where if it wasn't for people reviving and saving his party again and again and again, Kabru would never have even met Laios. See, again the theme that he can't achieve his goals alone even if he tries. He doesn't want to share burdens and plans, refuses help sometimes, but he does rely on it like everyone else, and ultimately I think that's what his arc is about like we covered- from being so distant with his party to opening up with mithrun and ultimately, in his kill Laios vs trust Laios dilemma he picked trust.

I do think growing up with Milsiril shaped him into who he became a lot, not only because he had access to knowledge with her ressources and her teaching yes, but most importantly imo he learned to manage an emotionally needy adult. It's mentioned his dead mother would sometimes vent to him when drunk, and it's different but similar to Milsiril being a sensitive recluse hermit who jumps from tears to anger in the blink of an eye, with emotional manipulation whether intentional or not, guilt tripping for even small things like which home cuisine he picks to talk about. Kabru grew used to having to anticipate and pacify or counter Milsiril's moods, to push through the wails and downright threats to be able to make a point and be heard like when saying he wishes to go into dungeons, and she seems to overburden her kids with the task of managing her emotional stability like I implied. She doesn't have friends except literally maybe just Helki her employee, she likes dolls and interacting with her kids and that's all that we see, so she seems emotionally dependent on her kids and esp Kabru imo. So like with how he operates in the present, he learned to "manipulate for good", what words tend to set people off, what ways to phrase things make pills easier to swallow, what face is most pleasing and soothing, what gestures are too much and what gestures are too little. Daily life and ineracting at home with his foster family became a visual novel with right and wrong answers and for smooth days he needs to be a good kid. Milsiril & Kabru is a topic for another day but I do have a lot to say. I do want it to be kept in mind here that Kabru's opinion that it's impossible for elves to see eye to eye with shortlived races is explicitly linked to his experience with Milsiril, as written in his Adventurer's bible pages. This coming up is definitelyyy a headcanon though but since [Helki is the only friend adjacent relationship we know milsiril has] and their relationship is master & servant there's grounds to theorize about how much kabru interacted with him too- how much Kabru saw Milsiril and Helki interact, his only father adjacent figure you could even say... As @room-surprise puts it, growing up in that house watching Milsiril and Helki and himself he learned that life is not to eat or be eaten but instead "to use or be used". Having grown elsewhere than the rigid elven kingdom first, that place with its tons of social etiquette rules and hierarchy, helped him be more critical of that society even as he observed how it worked and how he could work it, his original home may have not been much more welcoming, but sometimes difference is all that's needed to start comparing and realizing how systems are built, and not innate or unchangeable. I think being thrown into it rather than born into it shaped how Kabru perceived it. Psychology also helped him deal with his own trauma imo- in the incubus & parasitic bee comic it seems rationalizing the people from his hometown's superstitions helps him make his peace about it, makes it feel less personal, more distant- it's not my great aunt thinking I ruined my mom's life by being born, it's the human instinct and phenomenon of people being scared of what they don't understand, like a child with pale blue eyes. People being scared by what they don't understand, hm, it really always goes back to this in Dungeon Meshi doesn't it.

I think it's needless to say at this point but it's obvious Kabru is a character very affected by trauma. Faced with monsters, which've ravaged his home in the blink of an eye, he shakes and hesitates. He gets flashbacks when thinking about eating monsters. Wild topic swing but believe it or not there's a recurring "is it ptsd or autism" debate that often happens with characters, including L from Death Note for example, and Kabru has had this phenomenon in a niche of the fandom too. As one myself I do heavily relate to Kabru in the lens of him being an overachiever masked autistic, who unconsciously was drawn to learning psychology out of a need to do so and used to approach social interactions as a more scripted and logical affair than intuitive, and that was in part due to trauma yes- but autism and social-based trauma that pushed you to overcompensate and overachieve is, well... There's a causal link there yes, and it's a tendency that does happen with autism, especially in its afab presentation. And Kabru having ptsd is pretty much undeniable, so then, both? Personally I would claim kabru suffered not only the trauma of Utaya being destroyed but also social trauma living through being feared and hated by villagers and then taken in by elves and being constantly talked over- again different but similar to Rin's own experience and trauma. Truth is Kabru not being autistic doesn't change all that much from the "Laios caught his eye because he doesn't mask well and Kabru has to teach him about it he has to tell him that's illegal and look out for him" magnetism theory because that's also what ptsd does, someone with ptsd depending on the trauma also can become very scripted and nervous about skirting from it. Autism just gives it a more personal lens, where it's not only trauma but just who you are, always feeling a bit apart from everyone else in a fundamental way. In the end what autism and ptsd share in situations like this is that they treat social situations like a survival game, no fun included. This isn't the kabru is autistic analysis that's another topic plus many exist already I bet, but yes just know that these are common and coherent readings that can give a good lens for his behavior or obsessive tendencies.

Last tangent last tangent- but words are Kabru's main weapon right, knowledge is Kabru's main warfare method. Being in a society and with a parental guardian who doesn't put weight into your opinions and wants, speaking and being listened to is hard, and Kabru learned to play the game and dance the dance until he could make connections anywhere. It's of course relevant with how he dealt with Misilril and just how he continues to approach problems and matters now too, it's a way to be, a defense mechanism too, again like Rin's. It's interesting to note that it's Milsiril who taught him a lot, which he mentions is what he's grateful for her for most, teaching him and training him- and isn't that very in line with how Milsiril also felt spoken over and rejected by elven society as well, how she despises elven society even. Almost as if knowledge is a tool when you're devalued and pushed down in a society- Something that was important for Milsiril to teavh to him, which also fits nicely in with Kabru teaching Kuro the common tongue later on too. Milsiril's approach to the game of hierarchy was to keep her head down and obey orders until she could retire living rich as a hermit and foster parent, though, and that's emblematic of where they differ too- Kabru wants to be proactive, do more prevention with dungeons to have less damage control to do, even if you have to throw yourself into danger, even if you have to seek it out, so he makes connections and builds influence and goes dungeon diving. Milsiril wants to go away from trouble, leave to be safer, avoid danger, in life like in work, so she decides to live away from wider society to deal with her trauma and social anxiety, and so she retires and doesn't understand why Kabru would ever want to go near a dungeon again. Words are Kabru's main weapon but ultimately he drops arms and shed this attitude for open communication instead... 😌

I've started doing more analyses with enneagrams, I'll link back here when I make my first enneagram character analysis feature with Laios but in the meantime, sorry if you know nothing about it... If I had to call one for Kabru right now, 5w6/6w5 and 163 for tritype? Which would somewhat complement my reading of Laios as a 4w5 478, being his contrary in the action center 1 vs 8 which is the center that dictates how you judge/approach others/interactions, and the order being that the socialization center is the facet that's most important to Kabru vs what's least important to Laios. Inversely what's most important to Laios and least important to Kabru is the heart center aka how you judge yourself, your relationship with your own self-importance, Laios is very concerned with his own identity and interests and flees oppressive places that make him need to conform too much meanwhile Kabru is to himself only a tool for his greater goal and is ready to sacrifice individuality and his own comfort for it. But hey why would Kabru be 6w5 but still have 1 has his most important type in his 163 tritype? Well 6 is the desire for stability, security, and 1 is the high strict standard & concern for what's right vs wrong. I would consider 6 as his more important type because it's that desire that shaped his 1 importance given to morality, justice, good on a wider scale, etc, especially as someone marginalized where moral policies naturally benefit more people, often especially those devalued ykwim? Bettering the country with policies is right and also benefits him, he thinks everyone should have stability and safety, that it's the most important thing for everyone, but it presents as a 1 way to deal with that issue.

I think an important recurrent theme you can notice here too is onesided and unbalanced relationships. Kabru had the role of significant emotional support to both parental figures he had in his life, when as a child you're the one supposed to emotionally unload and the parents are supposed to take on them and manage the both of you, and it's made him be stuck into that mode sort of by default, letting others open themselves to you as much as they want but not opening up in turn, being more detached and unemotional- and of course, that's what's needed when you need to fix things, when you have to make sure everything is taken care of. It's the approach he takes both for his life and for relationships, so he shuts out his own emotions and pushes himself for others and for the world. He likes knowing, but not being known, because that's not supposed to be his role or purpose. He knows how burdening that can be. It does make the reversal of Laios being interested in Laios actively and Laios being uninterested in Kabru himself interesting. I don't know Kabru knows himself all that well, it's always about others so he doesn't take nearly as much time pondering his own wants, I think that plays into the "I wanted to be friends" too. It's how he's so able to get Dia's fiance to emotionally unload on him and vent over a couple hours and so at ease with it- he's used to it. Ah and even with Rin! He was specifically asked to befriend Rin as a kid, a very heavily traumatized girl- he was asked this because he's a shortlived race kid like her and nice, was asked this by his foster mother for the canaries' sake- he was literally put into that emotional support situation there too.

I am not mentioning every parallel & contrast he has with Laios I don't wanna be here all day!! But hey where Kabru had his town ravaged by monsters as a child and has always holds importance for having community, Laios fantasized about monsters tavaged his town because he hated his community, for one. In this precise scenario, Laios saw flaws and he immediately wanted to give up on that community, meanwhile Kabru saw flaws and wanted to fix them- Well, mostly, since Kabru did give up on relations with elves for a good while, and both end up amending those beliefs and seeking to make a better society within the golden kingdom together.

Here is my very quickest Kabru analysis apparently 😭😭 I NEED to get dragged offstage this can't go on- Idk man I still haven't gotten THE ANGLE with Kabru's narrative in the story I still can't see one thread that makes everything seamlessly connect together like it usually happens with Dunmeshi for me, but there's so much going on here about typical dunmeshi themes like authenticity, balancing considering others & your own needs and connecting...... But my biggest impression after my first read that still lingers now is that Kabru was in good part there to embody that people are a tapestry and that we're like an ecosystem, you can't carry the weight of the world alone because you are not alone and humans are creatures that accomplish feats through being social, like how Kabru couldn't have defeated the monster without Laios' help, Laios couldn't have gotten this far without Kabru's interference. Again it's all comes to that final battle where everyone, different as they may be, come together to fight on the same side, to save their collective world... And the guy everyone believed in least being the one on who all hope and faith and trust is placed in the last desperate shot at winning. Idk man!!! What are we doing here go touch grass breathe in the breeze hug your loved ones what a joy it is to be alive and human!! Take example on Kabru and love yourself. Because you're human and he loves humans I mean- don't actually take notes on self-love from Kabru that would not go well I feel. But yeah like to me Kabru's party gives me a nudge of what direction I should go in to figure out what his portion of the story is getting at, the importance of Kabru's party then becomes showing the state of his relationships at the start of the story before things get shaken up, as contrast and a reference point...

Rinsha Fana

OKAYYY here we are. Not everything is about you Kabru! <- said with Rin's voice (it really truly actually is lol)

I've already done an incomplete analysis of her here, please look at it for Rin pictures & material, but basically her sour and strict attitude seems to be a defense mechanism she can't fully control, like how she tends to frown when she wants to smile. Kabru's words about it are somewhat dubious to be sure, we don't have a guidebook on "when is Rin truly angry and when is she just smiling upside down :) ", but it is notable that Kabru does have a point with that, from what we see.

Her nagging attitude is part of that defense mechanism- As explicitly stated several times, her main purpose in following Kabru is that she's worried he'd get himself into trouble without her. Not unjustified, since he has trouble even cleaning and eating well, and then he gets all wrapped up with the canaries during canon, but yes according to Rin he's too smart and reckless for his own good. This may be why he sees her as a big sister figure, she nitpicks every little thing but at the end of the day her support is unconditional and she'll stand with you whenever you need her. Sort of like a big sister, she gives tough love but ultimately just wants you to be healthy and to take your pain away.

She had a very difficult upbringing, seen as a heretic to burn at the stake in her early childhood then treated like an animal when growing up with the elves. Her parents had an unaligned religion and its practices are tied to how she learned magic, which is why her family was reported to the canaries as dark magic users, but not in time for them to arrive before the townspeople killed her parents. Where with the elves Kabru learned to people please in order to gain more agency and safety when he grew up seen as a pet, Rin learned to be irreproachable and stand her ground when she grew up treated as an animal. The townspeople in Kabru's hometown sought to break up his home and chase out his family, and they may have threatened heavily for all that we know, but Kabru was able to keep his love for humans and belief that humanity is good, the trauma he has is of monsters killing people during the dungeon overflow- Rin's trauma is townspeople burning her house down and lynching her family until she was the only survivor. She sees others as a threat, and not without reason.

Both Rin and Kabru wear masks socially. They go in opposite ways though, Rin oversells her toughness to tell people not to mess with her, she makes herself closed off and intimidating, meanwhile Kabru is more of a chameleon but mainly, he makes himself seem open and appeasing, unthreatening to be trusted and liked more.

She was sent into shock and suffered through severe trauma especially since the people who collected her amidst all this, the canaries, are very ill equipped to deal with emotionally/mentally fragile people, especially shortlived race kids. Because of this whole situation she has some contempt for those who had it "easier", like mages who went to magic school instead of having to self-teach like Rin did. And some of this is disdain that where she had to study everything on her own others have teachers to guide them through it all, a sense of superiority, but imo it's also doubtlessly a defense mechanism, an anti magic-elitism where she sneers at them before they can sneer at her. Before they can call her uncultured, she calls them talentless. Counter before they can even strike. Defense mechanism. In the main story, we hear of this tension Rin has about academy mages with how she speaks of Marcille and her spells- specifically she's rude about Marcille's protection charm/ward and says something about how the one who did it was definitely an academy mage because the spell is too by the book in chapter 32- and this is what I mean, she takes issue with how strict about rules and spells they are, how much they conform, because her own background is being severely mistreated and sotracized for being an unaligned unconventional mage, for doing magic outside of these rules and books. Interestingly, we also see in chapter 10 though that she looks down on people she sees as not successful or capable, saying that they'll definitely defeat the mad mage and "we won't be hand-to-mouth adventurers like you people", perhaps from trauma too- wishing to put a distance between the group she'd normally be categorized with and who she wants to become, or having felt mocked by the guy who talked to them before by having been related to them, because she's so on guard and bad faith always. We don't really know the details of Rin's time with the elves, escept that she was "minded like an animal". We don't even know where she stayed, even, just that Milsiril couldn't take her in because her house was already full. Where did she stay, then? Some shitty orphanage? I like to think she stayed with the canaries as "an impounded article" until she became an adult and left with Kabru, explaining even more her attitude since she'd have all the military influence, and further proving the point that any success she earns was self-made, that anything she knows she had to teach berself because her environment never gave her opportunities. But yes wherever it was, we can only assume that it was close enough to Milsiril's mansion or easily accessible, because Kabru and Rin continues seeing each other. It seems like at first, they would have made trips just in order to have Kabru befriend Rin until she could talk. They may have continued through letters eventully too if they couldn't meet. Hust a lot of uncertainty on every ground, all we know is Rin and Kabru became important to each other.

We actually know little of Rin and Kabru's pre-canon relationship, but we know that Rin was taken in by the elves some time after Kabru was, after her parents were killed by townsfolk and report them as black mages to the canaries, who arrived too late to be able to tell, so just took Rin in and...... Well we know very little of how she was treated, too, even where she was kept, just that Milsiril couldn't take her in and that they "minded her like an animal". We know that Kabru wanted and wants to "get her away from the elves somehow", something he doesn't say about the other kids living with Milsiril and explains his reason as being because Rin has bad experience with the elves, but it's unsure how Kabru left home and how Rin came to go with him. Because of that quote of his though it's likely he invited her along when he left, and she followed. But it's not confirmed, for all we know Kabru could have only invited her after 2 years after leaving when he founded his party. It's obvious Rin holds no love for living with the elves anyways, but we don't know how much freedom she had- it was hard for Kabru to be allowed to leave because he was coddled, notably only leaving 2 years after he reached in-world adulthood despite having first voiced his want to leave when he was a kid, but meanwhile I like to think Rin left very easily because no one cared, she was something that took up space and food where she wasn't wanted or needed, an obsolete "impounded article". She was catatonic when she was first taken in, but it's likely things were cleared up once she was able to talk that no, her family wasn't practicing black magic, and then the canaries just didn't know where to send her because she had no home or family anymore. But then, if she could leave whenever she wanted why wouldn't she have left earlier? Probably precisely because of Kabru too, because she didn't want to leave him. She loves him, and they're more or less the only friend each other had, so she couldn't just leave him behind and try to build a life without him, similarly to how he couldn't do that either. She stayed for Kabru and she left for Kabru.

I made another little post speculating more about her life with the elves and the possible impact of Flamela here if you're interested, as well as elaborating on her abandonment issues and the importance of Kabru to her.

Rin does seem to believe in Kabru's cause, in making him dugeon lord and that being important, but her main motivation is still pretty clearly that she's doing this for Kabru because it's Kabru. She doesn’t seem to really know why or what, just that it should be ‘someone who deserves it’ that beats the dungeon and becomes dungeon lord, and her first lines show her determined to prove everyone they can beat the dungeon. Like stated, her main motivation is she wants to make sure Kabru's safe and out of trouble, so hey why not put the "heretic" magic she learned to use and become his offense mage, why not use it to manage a feat so big and desired (defeating the dungeon) that everyone will have to admit she and her art are worthy of respect, to prove to everyone she can make it with her own skills and own unconventional knowledge. Her magic, the last remnant of her family. Her house burned down with everything she possessed, and she's said to have little attachment to her culture due to having been an immigrant on top of everything else, so the memories and knowledge they've taught her, the lessons they instilled in her and the person they tried to shape her to be, that's all that's left of them. She never speaks of them, at all, likely due to the whole heay childhood trauma thing, so we don't really know her feelings on well, everything, beyond that it was traumatic. We don't know what her relationship with her parents was like. She's a very closed off person. That's another contrast we can point out with Kabru, Rin flees her pre-canaries past and never brings up her family, has little attachment to places she's lived in or her culture, but Kabru is fixated on remembering, brings up his mother and culture whenever he can like in the halloween local sweets extra, has made the tragedy of Utaya at the center of his entire life mission. Rin and Kabru really are contrasts of each other in how they deal with trauma I think, whereas they both become very guarded in very different ways I think this highlights how simlar he may have felt with Mithrun, the both of them having become obsessed with their trauma and eradicating the cause of it which happened to be the same thing, having become workaholics and consumed over it.

She's in love with Kabru, but the way I see it it doesn't seem like she's particularly pursuing him romantically. I do think Kabru's occasional flirting with her gives her needless hope, but I don't think getting with him is either her goal in following him or her plan, I think she's content just following him to taking care of him selflessly, even when she knows he can be a womanizer and dishonest asshat, albeit she'll complain every step of the way yes. Again, unintentional big sister attitude.

Post-canon, she keeps in touch with Kabru and becomes a pharmacist, presumably living in Merini but there's no mention of the location, we just know she's kept touch because of a post-canon extra with Laios and Kabru. Her new profession supports that 1) Rin likes caring after others and 2) Rin never had an interest for anything about dungeon diving in itself. It's also ironic, since she was a offensive mage and didn't do healing.

Contrasts with Marcille, where to start... Marcille is optimist and rather open and Rin is pessimist and fully closed off, Marcille is social and smiles a lot and Rin is the reverse. Both of them have a caring mom friend attitude, but Marcille is more gentle and coddling about it whereas with Rin it's pure tough love, both of them do this to a often stifling degree (Falin, Izutsumi, Kabru). There's the contrast in their appearances too, and how Marcille dresses practically but Rin is more flashy, with an... Ambitious skirt cut? They're both elegant but in different ways, they're both very bold in fights, and stubborn and loud in their beliefs. Marcille was a more or less sheltered girl who learned magic in an academy while Rin learned on her own at the cost of blood and sweat. Both of them seem to have grown up in towns rather than cities, a more rural setting, since there were large fields and chickens roaming where Marcille lived and the little we see and know of Rin's town makes it seem closed on itself. They were presumably lonely growing up, Marcille had no peers because of her irregular aging and spent her time absorbed in novels, where Rin because of her family and culture/race was mistreated and avoided and it seems she spent a lot of her time focusing on learning things instead, perhaps paralleling novels with textbooks even in young age. Marcille lost one parent of natural causes and was traumatized by it to the point it became at the center of her life mission, and Rin lost both parents to murder and was traumatized by it to the point she avoids thinking and talking about it ever again. Both of them seek to learn, use and even create unconventional magic eyond the rules set by people. Both of them have cat energy, thank you for coming to my ted talk

Holm

Holm is actually rather mysterious. The biggest thing to notice here is that Holm has been to elven jail before, because his research was too close to dark magic. We have no idea of what his research was about at all, we have no details and little clear hints. He's a man of theorics though, it shows in how he talks about magic and spirits, and with his christmas gift exchange gift it shows how nurturing living things with magic really is something he enjoys and has interest in. It's not a lot to go off of, especially since we know canaries are trigger happy when it comes to dark magic, both arresting people who had minor brushes with it or that seem suspicious without any confirmed crime, and with elves exaggerating people's crimes so they become a canary for manpower. Who knows, maybe he is dungeon diving to try and subtly do research at the same time, but the way we get no hints of that and he just keeps working as a spirit user post-canon makes me think it's just work to him. He never mentions researching or seems to be studying something in the dungeon so it doesn’t sound like that was significant part of his reason for dungeon diving. So he had his run-in with authorities and decided to live more simply from thereon. But that could also just be because of the nature of dark/ancient magic and how it more or less poofed from the world after the demon left, too. With the truth revealed and ancient magic unavailable to channel anymore, research becomes less needed and viable. I doubt Kabru knows about his past. Again, much like Laios' party pre-canon, what got them together is work before anything else, with the added bonus of Kabru spinning an important narrative about conquering the dungeon to become dungeon lord.

His chill laidback, more passive and calm attitude makes him feel more vague and mysterious too, hard to get a good grip on, but he’s also the most mature and put together of the group. Very mellow. He's not quiet to the point of seeming asocial like Dia somewhat does, he just seems... Average, in the extra about his sister for example. And good at keeping secrets. His skeleton in the closest is the jail thing and that's that, seems like it put an end to his researching career and he’s now settled for being a spirits magic user as a job which brought him to dungeon dive. Nope sir prison isn't worth it I'm keeping myself into trouble from now on. What job can I do now though, my specialization is spirits arts... Dungeon diver, okay sure. It could be theorized that his usual attitude + his secret are a persona of sorts, where he keeps himself largely hidden and keeps people at an arm's distance. It's pointed out he freezes in the face of conflict- it shows he dislikes fighting, even being worried for the spirits he makes fight, and that makes me think even more that dungeon diving wouldn't have been his first choice. It could also be a good part of why he's so laidback and quiet then, passive. He dislikes conflict, so he avoids being in the spotlight also helpful skill to have when you've had run-ins with the law, and he has such the nice guy reputation that Mickbell doesn't think twice about crashing at his place in the middle of the night- and sure enough Holm lets him in and practically serves him. You could think him a doormat, but we see with the comic of him & his sister that he's very capable of being mad and agitated and go more on the offensive in a social situation, but yes he has that helpless -panics and wails while all his coworkers does things around him against his will- energy that's pretty sopping wet cat. He seems chill and cool but oh no he was actually the stressed overworked protagonist of a sitcom movie. My condolences for your life Holm. In general he's also a decently judgemental person, and although casually and often with a smile he has no problem "telling it like it is", calling out Mickbell's treatment of Kuro and talking about how Kabru can't clean for shit, how he'd "be willing to do anything to achieve his goals" and is too people pleasing, etc. He's confident in himself, and pretty set in his beliefs though we see him debate and compromise with Kabru.

His sister is the only personal relationship we see him have, but it's stated. She must live on the island too, considering Kabru visits her. The Island isn't exactly a place you're typically born in, so it's interesting to wonder what it means that both Holm and his sister would have moved there. Did their parents disown him after he got arrested over his research? There's nothing to say they did, but nothing that hints they didn't either, honestly, so Holm is a bit of a blank slate backstory wise as well. We know his religion's very important to him too though, and it affects his diet. His spirits are very dear to him and it's mentioned for example that he's raised his undine since basically the spirit equivalent of a baby, so it's implied he's been raising spirits for a long time. If his social life doesn't seem to be thriving, his spirits are definitely filling some of his social & connection needs as pets would. He does both healing and offense.

His contrast with the Laios party would be Falin since they're both healers lowkey doormats who notice the flaws in the people around them but don't act on them and prefer being passive and take upon themselves. They both love nature and were pushed by capitalism and rigid structures that prioritize conformity into work they aren't passionate about. The most important thing in Holm's life seems to be his spirits, and the most important thing in Falin's life are her loved ones, I'd say his enneagram is 592 while Falin's hmm, 926.

I ramble more about Holm in this kabuholm post and compile more of his moments, but it's more speculation than analysis, it's a take on him essentially. My personal verdict is- king of staying in his lane. He's here for work and he keeps his thoughts to himself to speak when it's necessary, he's not afraid of letting people have it outside of that though. The separation of professional and personal life is not going to great with his coworker occasionally imposing on his home lol. Reflecting his maturity, he lets others handle themselves and only steps in when he's needed. Hm, sounds like someone else doesn't it?

Daya

First things first: Daya or Dia? You'll probably have noticed I use Dia, and the reason is pretty simple: Daya/Dia is a nickname. Her official name is Diamond, but the shortening is always used instead- Diamond we have an official spelling for, the nickname we do not. Since it's in katakana (da-ya) and a fantasy world, translations call her Daya, but that's the same pronounciation as the "dia" in "diamond", and isn't it logical for her nickname to just be a shorter version of her actual name? We do know that Kui translates names to katakana being mindful of their pronounciation and not just spelling, like how Tims in Chilchuck tims is written as timzu. Yenpress the official english translator has messed up character names before and this even after official spellings came out, like Mikbell and Sissel, but notablyxthe anime english translation has also gone with Daya. But so, yes, I call her Dia, but of course there's no right or wrong here and by going against official translations I'm making things harder than they need to be. It's just...... Hard to unsee.......

Daya is very underrated for having such an interesting background! She was esentially raised in a cult? The "dungeon keepers". That protects dungeons, in that they keep people from going into it. She never knew why it was an important thing to do, and never questioned it, but as readers at the end of canon we now can imagine that they kept people from going into dungeons so that there would not be new dungeon lords and dungeons would not overflow. Ultimately, Dia fled her home and community because she refused the notion of marrying an older relative to have a child. There's a mistranslation from Yenpress that Namari is from the same tribe as Namari, when the original japanese sentence is just about how they're both from the same race- both dwarves.

No wonder with this background that she "has a slightly otherworldly air". She's very stonefaced and hard to read, but with the focus on duty and discipline she had growing up it's easy to see how she'd have become a somewhat emotionally constipated person in this way. She fell in love with someone of her choosing and is intent on marrying him, contrasting with the man she was ordered to marry back home. It's with a renewed interest in understanding what the life she'd spent so long upholding was about that she went back to work with dungeons as a dungeon diver, in her own words with the goal of understanding what they were protecting. In this way, it seems the marriage order was truly the thing that made everything snap and finally caused her to shake up her life, to look back and start questioning everything- and now she's free, she chooses what to do with herself and who to be with. It's said she loves her husband, and her husband seems very attached to her as well. Somewhat paralleling Chilchuck and his wife, we can imagine how nervewracking it must be to be the spouse of a dungeon diver, who faces death for a living. Dia is very independent and disaffected on top of it, so we see that her fiance feels insecure and even doubts she may cheat on him with Kabru. This insecurity is born from feeling like Dia doesn't need him- and so may leave him in the future. He feels neglected, and Dia probably doesn't show him love and how much he's valued in a way that he sees or satisfies him. That said, her fiance after a couple of cups and an hour with Kabru is shiwn to be very open and emotional, which would presumably complement her well. Dia seems unemotional but she does have her bouts of strong emoting, whether it be distrust, worry, frustration or even wonder- That said, she's not the greatest conversationalist around and I can definitely see her not really understanding how love, care affection and attention, is supposed to look like- Again, she grew up in an extreme social environment.

She's bold and fierce, confident, and notably very very strong. With training from a young age not only in discipline but in fighting she's a warrior born and raised. These are considered tomboyish traits, but I do like how Kabru and the adventurer's bible calls her a lady- she shows wonder at the treasure insects too! She's not disinterested in oretty things, or anything of the sort. We just have little window into her interests, since her life centers around work so much. She also calls out Mickbell for his mistreatment of Kuro, but also does nothing about it. She's quiet and is most often seen closing up the tail end of the psrty looking around for threats while they're on the move. She's quieter than Holm and also more standoffish. The queen of staying in her lane, if you ask me. We'll be talking more about it in the relationships section but you can already see this very interesting party dynamic forming of Rin and Mickbell having their nose all up in others' business while Dia and Holm are very permissive and quiet even while kabrin and mickuro look insane from an outside perspective. Who knows what normal looks like to Dia, though. She disliked Namari because her father made things rocky for dwarves on the Island for a while, so that can show how critical she can be and how her value of not sticking her neck out and staying put & not rocking the boat manifest/the why of it. Like in her home community we can imagine, you have a role in society and being overly disruptive can ruin things for everyone including yourself- even if the one who did the mistake was your parent the fault befalls on your whole family. Very strict hierarchy based outlook on society and community I think... It's interesting that despite of having been a victim of such behaviors herself, part of those faulty lessons stuck with her and she upholds much of the same fallacies.

All of this is very interesting foundation for a character, but yes not much else is developed on Dia and that's wher her story starts and ends- I'll make a diaholm post eventually that delves into her themes of freedom and emotional wallbricking but that's about it from me. I like to think that she likes her husband, but rushed into marriage- that going from a life where everything was structured and decided for her by others to having nothing but choice, from the prospect of marrying an old relative to anyone she chooses, she sort of picked the first guy she liked and made a move on her. Pure speculation, because I like exploring the side effects her upbringing would have had and this sort of detached attitude she has, with some typa off attachment style...

Fun facts: if the modern au christmas gift exchange extra is to be believed, Dia enjoys reading and has some books of her own. In a Daydream Hour she's drawn with Holm out of their work uniforms but she still has a sword at her hip, which may mean she carries a weapon with her even just around town. She has two younger siblings that she never mentions and we presume she left behind at home.

Mickbell Tomas

Okay okay okay now the true insanity may begin! Please refer to this post to see Mickbell's profile pages. Also see the bath comic for another great show of his character! I cannot make a mickbell collage for this there is no pic page umm ummmm additional compilation here.

Despite being an adult of 22 years old, even older than Kuro both literally and developmentally, Mickbell often acts rather juvenile. He tends to be very black and white, he wanted to steal the corpse retrievers’ stuff and was mad when Kabru didn’t allow it, he thinks Kuro talking to others will make Kuro leave him. He's judgemental (exhibit A: comic about Rin smiling) and critical (esp with Kabru). All means justify the end (him having fun, becoming rich) but if others do something wrong efficiency or annoying behavior wise you better believe he'll voice it. He’s very expressive, both in body language and words, swinging his arms as he walks and jumping and stomping the ground in anger. He also has a mischievous streak. He’s casual with touch, touchy feely if you will, and clings to Kuro a lot, both for safety and because he simply likes to. Cough cough separation anxiety and abandonment issues. He knows how to be serious however, especially when it comes to money or risky situations. He does his job well and does it conscientiously. In many ways he's similar to Fleki, if Fleki was more dedicated on the job. He may be very layered, and manipulative when he wants to be, but he seems to value in others the same type of directness that he has with emoting and interacting with others, as seen with his distaste for Rin being a tsundere. He's blunt and straightforward (whenever he isn't with Kuro or scamming), and in that way it seems those are values of his, which may be why he does usually gets along best with Rin, especially on the job.

He has loose ethics and likes to goof around but is otherwise often highstrung, reflecting Kabru's "relax a little" view of him. He's serious on the job- a contrast you can especially notice in the christmas exchange special. He had to steal and do scams to survive, again the christmas special shows he's good with money and making deals- mischievous and full of himself when he has to sell stuff and quick to flee when he smells trouble, but very focused when it comes to calculating costs and revenue.

Again, despite all his troublemaker toddler behavior Mickbell is surprisingly serious! It's still undeniable that he has capital i Issues, from being very uncaring about how others may see him and developing this "it's us vs the world" mentality with Kuro, to how emotional, exaggeratingly expressive and impulsive he is- in a way that lacks emotional regulation skills I'd even say, to what he says when something displeases him like "she'd be a lot cuter if she smiled more" about Rin after she doesn't laugh at his jokes... This all seems to point towards Mickbell having pretty bad emotional intelligence. You could even easily call him stunted. He doesn't seem very self-aware, his manipulation of Kuro is not something he can do solely unconsciously but it is genuinely debatable how much he knows he cares about Kuro, how much he's aware of what he feels & why, why he says what he says and does what he does. What would he do if you told him that trying to manipulate Kuro into thinking that everyone except Mickbell wants him in shackles and in pain and wanting to have a house and a nice domestic normal life with him is sort of mutually exclusive? I don't think he thinks about the wider picture like that, I think it'd cause some dissonance a bit. He thinks ahead when it comes to finance, but socially he seems to very much live in the moment, not really trying to anticipate how much others will appreciate his input or behavior or thinking about how he'll keep up the charade 2 years down the line. He wants to hustle his way out of being homeless, but in many ways he still has the mentality he had to have for running scams and surviving on the streets at his lowest, one day at a time, succeed this step so you can then succeed the next. In his mind he's constantly making charisma rolls on Kuro and he needs to not fail them.

Don't you worry Mickbell & Kuro is getting a whole section, buuut with Mickbell and Kuro both, character analysis is inseparable from analysis of the two's relationship. The ethics and circumstances of Mickbell working Kuro for peanuts are surprisingoy complex- because that is how Mickbell sees their dynamic, but Kuro sees it completely differently and assigns himself full agency in wanting to stay. Kuro obviously wants to follow Mickbell, and that’s what Mickbell takes advantage of unknowingly, what he thinks is Kuro’s helplessness. What I find much more alarming is Mickbell’s need to control not only Kuro's economical and social life but every aspect of his life. He’s not only overcontrolling, paranoid that someone will want to steal him away from him (both for Kuro’s sake but very transparently desperate to not allow Kuro to leave him as well- will get expanded on), but he also wants to isolate him. It’s no coincidence Kuro has no friends apart from Mickbell- the closest thing would be Kabru and even with him, communication can be difficult and Mickbell does interfere. It's not Mickbell's fault there is a language barrier, but it is Mickbell's fault that Kuro has amassed so few tools in navigating the world without Mickbell, but it is his fault that Kuro feels like he can't tell him he's learning common with Kabru, and it is Mickbell's canonical intent to render Kuro just that, powerless enough to need him- again I cannot overstate how it is straight up said and confirmed in the Adventurer's Bible that Mickbell mistreats Kuro the way he does because he's scared Kuro would/will leave him. Mickbell sees their relationship as employer-employee while Kuro sees it more as guardian & guy who needs to have one, but it is also said that Mickbell sees Kuro as family, and I do think that makes sense, and I do think it can't be overstated how on a deeper level it's Mickbell who needs Kuro, and that Kuro is Mickbell's absolute most important person in the world- his only person in the world, even, in many ways.

"Until he met Kuro, Mickbell was all alone in the world, so he seems to see him as family."

Mickbell is desperate for stable relationships, both seen with his clutch on Kuro and his wanting a house to settle in. Or I suppose, relationship singular, he seems very ride or die on the idea that Mickbell and Kuro are the only thing each other needs, he never seems to particularly try or want to befriend others, is a bit clammed up on himself. Distrustful, assumes bad faith, especially as we see with the half-foot union. Perhaps because he's never felt a sense of community where helping each other out of good will was a thing, survival made everything transactional living on the streets, so he has a hard time having good faith with organizations like unions, and this notion of relationships being transactional would have also shaped why he would frame his and kuro's relationship that way, as employer-employee. Not to say he doesn’t like socializing though, we see him work a room all self-satisfied and tell jokes in an extra comic, and he gets peeved when Rin doesn’t laugh at his jokes, he does like getting general social approval. As he isolates Kuro he also willingly isolates himself, and is ready to burn bridges or opportunities for him.

He's sleazy! Debate about egg or chicken all you want, but I think Mickbell running scams definitely shows in how manipulative he is in relationships as well. With the christmas gift exchange thing we see that he can do scams the straightforward way, selling an item to be much more than it us for an inflated price, but it is specifically said that Mickbell doesn't have half-foot pride the same way Chilchuck does and has no problem using his race to "curry favor", so I would think he's done the emotional manipulation kind of scamming as well, acting like a child in need or such. "If you can use something, you should" is stated to be his motto. Because in a life like his you don't have a lot, you seize the opportunities you get because it's a matter of survival and there's no ace up your sleeve dirty enough to justify not taking advantage of it. All this to say- Mickbell's most iconic scene is arguably his short interaction with Kuro here, and it's extremely blatant manipulation. The anime even ups this with the teary eyes and voice acting- the borderline tears followed by a grin shows just how conscious and intensive his manipulating really can get. Again there's a transactional lens he sees relationships through I think- and that plays into Mickbel scamifying his relationships up... Which in the end I do think he feels scummy over. Simply because, chaining someone to you like that is not something you do if you think you're lovable- if you're all that, if you're great and likable and worthy of unconditional love. That man can't believe in that, he can't believe in his life partner of many years choosing to stay if that didn't happen to be his only viable option. Mickbell lives in fear of being abandoned and it's in good part because the world has taught him he's not valuable on his own.

I think Mickbell lives in fear!! And I think that's deeply interesting. Makes sense for someone with such an harsh extreme upbringing as him to be hypervigilant, with food like with money the way he is with the party, he keeps grudges, both in his backstory extra comic and during canon. He lives in fear and distrust and all these little ways he knows toxmake himself feel more powerful than he is. And I think it's so, so interesting how when he finally accepted Kuro following him, inventing something about him becoming his bodyguard, it was because Mickbell just witnessed Kuro kill and maim a man and he was shaking, so afraid but also accustomed enough to violence and needing to bullshit his way through situations to tell Kuro things like "I'm your master" and for Kuro to just go along with it. Mickbell's is the art of faking it till you make it. Mickbell was afraid of Kuro then, and I do think Mickbell was scared of the idea of what this kobold man stranger could do if he decided that Mickbell wasn't his master after all, until his attachment grew and keeping the charade going was less out of a need for Kuro not to hurt him and more out of a need for Kuro not to leave him. So the fear of retribution because he did not know Kuro became a fear of abandonment when he did learn to know and love him- Kuro leaving him alone, the very thing he desired the firt time they met and Kuro followed him after Mickbell freed him. And this is why I made this web weaving about them this makes me ill good god. He lives in fear of being "found out" by Kuro in a way, for this scam of a relationship to be discovered so he only gets tangled up in his manipulation more and more to keep it going as the stakes keep rising and rising because Mickbell is only more invested with time- and he fears that Kuro would realize it one day but he also fears others will expose him, a big part of why he monitors what others say to Kuro, why he wants to be there whenever Kabru talks with him, why he's so scared at the slightest conversation had out of his hearing range. But! Part of it I'd say is also genuine fear that they could take advantage of Kuro, perhaps because due to his own taking advantage of Kuro and how readily the kobold accepts it Mickbell sees Kuro as a particularly vulnerable person, that he could get tricked by anyone, and let's remember that Mickbell met Kuro in a slave trader's cage- Mickbell's fear of others "taking Kuro away from him" is a double edged sword, it's 'them turning Kuro against Mickbell' but it's also what he always says about Kabru or others trying to 'kidnap' Kuro, what he says about how the half-foot guild wouldn't like his bond with Kuro and take him away from Mickbell. He's drunk his own koolaid in many ways. Separation anxiety and abandonment issues!!!!! Distrust at the world and feeling like he can never have nice things or be safe!!! And this plays suuuuuch a role in Mickbell's dream of having a house I think. Because a house is safe- a house means routine, means a place you can stay in and be protected by, is there a more emblematic symbol of stability and safety? In a house Mickbell is shielded from others' gaze and judgement, he's sheltered from the rain and he can keep food inside, he doesn't have to sleep with one eye open to not be attacked or have his things stolen through the night anymore, no there are four walls and it's warm and he and Kuro can live a peaceful life unbothered, away from the rest of the world that seeks them harm and wants them separated. Which hey that could parallel surprisingly deeply Chilchuck's feelings about a house actually, a house and family as something he has but that can be lost and destroyed- both in people leaving and in nightmares of home invasion.

But like Mickbell telling Kuro to stop snarling and growling because it's scary is such a good and fascinating example of this. How much of it is "it scares me" and how much of it is "you're damaging your own reputation, I'm scared of how people will react if you look too beastly and dangerous and what they might do to you- to us"? And this is especially true because Mickbell knows that kobolds are discriminated and how- for these years they've known each other Mickbell has been the one being the middleman between Kuro and the whole world- he's the one securing board and room for the both of them, noticing how people treat them and what they whisper about them, he's the one who gets told "this bathhouse doesn't allow kobolds" and he's the one who decides to leave and visit every bathhouse until they find one who does allow kobolds, becayse he's not taking a bath without Kuro. Mickbell is sticking with Kuro. They are ride or die for EACH OTHER not just oneway. Mickbell washes Kuro, he did that first time after they met each other and Kuro was a ghastly sight and very stinky, and he does now too, Mickbell patiently explains to Kuro how everything works, and when Kuro messes up something like getting Mickbell wet from shaking off water Mickbell gets mad but offers no punishment except chiding. In the bath comic, we see Mickbell spend HOURS brushing Kuro after his bath. There is immense care put into Kuro from Mickbell's end, as well.

"Now you're the cleanest dog in the whole wide world. No one can look down on you."

But hey, where did Mickbell learn "people leave"? That he’s unlovable and no one would stay for him? It’s a common fear that could be from anywhere honestly, whether insecurity alone or a very specific experience- but we do have trails we can follow... Mickbell lived in the slums of Kahka Brud, which he may have been birn in or interestingly enough since Kahka Brud is seen as a city of opportunities might have moved there. First of all, we have to wonder how he got into the streets in the first place. His relatives are listed as "unknown", but well, as a rule of thumb everyone has parents. Not even Kuro has "unknown" listed in his relatives section, and he's had cut contact with them for a long time by canon. What we know about the "relatives" section of Adventurer's Bible profiles is that it only lists living relatives, for example Marcille only has her mother listed, her father isn't listed as deceased and her step-father isn't listed there, meanwhile Kabru only has Milsiril listed, not his mother or even his father (which we don't know the status of, but Kabru doesn't know him either since he left when he was born). So what does this mean for Mickbell's relatives? Either he doesn't know what family he has, or he doesn't know if they're alive. It's not unlike how Kabru's name is stated as unknown, which either means he was renamed Kabru or that Kabru doesn't know just a part of it, like his last name- perhaps forgotten due to trauma, or his mother never told him due to their disowning them.

It could mean he was abandoned on the streets before he could remember so he doesn't know of any parent or caretaker they had, or it could be a lot of things. I do want to point out that both Mickbell and Kuro have "permanently out of contact" with their siblings, but Kuro still has his siblings listed on his profile, not "unknown". Since we get this info I do think Mickbell knew his sister, and I think it all lends itself to the "he doesn't know if they're alive" theory more. I mean, so much could have happened! But I think it's pretty safe to assume that Mickbell and his sister were on the streets together, until they were separated. Due to her messy hair and dead inside look I used to like to think she fell sick and as the older brother it fell on him to take care of both their needs and he couldn't manage to heal her before she died- or they were separated or something happened and he had to assume the worst. But something like some big event making them flee on their separate ways and then fail to see each other again, some other tragedy that made him part from her without knowing of her state... Or my favorite: one day she disappeared. Maybe he told her to stay there while he went to steal some food and he came back and she wasn't there, maybe one night she didn't come back to the alley where they always slept and she never did again, just. Did something happen to her? Was there an accident and she died in some ditch somewhere? Did someone kidnap her? Did she just leave him behind? He doesn't know. He doesn't know and he never will and he can't get an answer. And not having closure is almost worse than suspecting she's dead, or even if he knew it for certain. Because there's always a doubt. There'll always be that he doesn't understand what happened. There'll always remain that knowledge that things can just suddenly disappear one day, it'll be a normal day until it isn't, that people can leave, that everyone he's ever had (and there weren't many) HAVE left they're GONE and he's ALONE, and there'll always be that knowledge that Mickbell couldn't protect his little sister, couldn't even know she was in danger that time, if she was. Again in a way there's that parallel with Chilchuck where Chilchuck is very muh someone worried about the people he cares about's safety and has a protector role the best he can, and Mickbell usually is the one getting protected but he is very possessive and overprotective of Kuro, the one person he has. And just. Waughhhh. Idk if I'll make another post about Mickbell backstory speculation or his sister now if unprompted but for the record I like to call his sister Yukibelle/bella. Yuki because it means snow like deathly pale sickly skin, and it's a 4 letter japanese name, which being 4 letters 2 syllables suits half-foot names aaand most importantly, since Kuro isn't Kuro's real name and it just means "black" in japanese I like to think esp because of the language barrier taht that's just what Mickbell named him. And having no parents imo Mickbell would have named his sister, or even renamed her if she did have a name to spite whoever abandoned them...... In big brother fashion he likes to call her Yuckbelle. Ickybell and Yuckbelle the sublings ever. I was the one who chose your name so I can't make fun of it? Haha try again!........ I need to cope somehow guys. Having lived in the streets with the highest degree of life or death survival on the daily it's also easy to speculate Mickbell had other hardships and trauma like, say, selling his body and to people who are less than ideal. Just saying!! A lot of things you can resdy into his backstory that further explain or explore aspects of his character.

Unlike Chilchuck "I will never fight" Tims, Mickbell actually never fights. Like at all. Ever. His skills are clinging, cowering and getting covered, and giving orders. Both Chilchuck and Mickbell can be both mature and immature, but Chilchuck tends to embody maturity within the narrative and Mickbell is usually much more remembered as immature. Enneagram 6w7 (wants stability and simple pleasures & freedom on the side), same as Chilchuck. 6 is the fear of being without support and that's exactly what Kuro offers..... Very 8 as well, there's a case to be made about him being 683 like Chilchuck but I could see him be more of a 2 or 4 too. God he wants to be loved so bad. He's also quite tall but never mentions a diet to not set off traps, which may be because his diet is already poor. To me he seems like he doesn't care for culture at all having lived in survival on the fringe of society, similarly to him not having much half-foot pride, but he does smile as a dwarf so dwarves being the ideal body type still seems to be something he's in line with.

Post-canon, he opens a variety store with Kuro, and it's said his relationship with Kuro stays unbalanced. We don't know where it was opened, if they stayed in Melini or went back to Kahka Brud- but since Mickbell's dream is to specifically get a house in Kahka Brud's best neighborhoods and it's where he lived before on the streets, it seems to make sense house in Kahka Brud would still be his goal and to set up shop there. Not that we get an update on the house funds, the post-canon blurb is still in the near future after canon so their futures are still very much left open.

Kuro

Please refer to this post to see Kuro's profile pages.

Mickbell is so tragedy coded but Kuro is honestly... Like he's vibing. He has normalized the abuse (emotional manipulation & isolating the target both so that they need you for stability and emotional supoort + control their life and relationships are literally abuse tactics come on guys) but so much so that it appears both to Kuro and to us like that abuse has little grip on him, we see that he has more agency than we'd assumed. Kuro allows Mickbell to lower his quality of life way too much for sure, partly because Mickbell plays the part of vulnerable lil guy well, but what's so funny is that where Mickbell thinks he's being a mastermind all "🥺I was the one to save you from the streets, without me you'd be lost!! Everyone else wants you suffering, better stick with me!!😊" Kuro literally explains their relationship with "he's so pathetic and anxious, he needs me there :(" - which lends a whole new look to how pokerfaced Kuro always is when Mickbell is giving him his manipulative drivel lol. It flips the dynamic Mickbell was presenting because where Mickbell tries so hard to force their relationship to be that Kuro needs him, Kuro correctly identifies that it's Mickbell who needs Kuro- even more than for safety and financial reasons, because of emotional ones. So where it felt like their relationship was one where Kuro was fully tricked in that Kuro can only live by Mickbell's side for his own sake, Kuro wants to stay for Mickbell's sake and is well aware of Mickbell's issues and wants to help as a therapy dog would?? He doesn't care about the money or the food, he cares about Mickbell. The irony of it all is that Kuro could have left anytime, but stayed for Mickbell all along. It's easy then to assume that Kuro has it all figured out after reading the secret study session comic but that's also oversimplifying. Kuro seems emotionally intelligent in many ways- but sort of lacks sense in how it should be applied and how things should be, I guess is how I would put it? I still call their relationship abusive because it still is, Mickbell still isolates Kuro and manipulation is still the intent of a lot of what he says and does with him, and "well I know very well they're shitty but they need me" is a common dynamic irl in abusive and toxic relationships too, but it still reframes their relationship a lot to know that Kuro is not at the stage of "Mickbell is always right about everything and I'll follow him to the ends of the world because of it" but at the "this anxious miserable boy needs me and it's my duty to protect him". Mickbell is running a manipulation onemanshow against himself and Kuro is taking another path entirely, he has an immunity called language barrier lmao. /hj Kuro is hiding things from him Mick has no clue about, that he's having nightly study sessions with Kabru, but he's not hiding this out of a sense of fear but out of care.

Their relationship is based on misunderstandings and lack of communication, and that's due to a lot of things both the language barrier thing and how they tend to run with their own interpretations of things (Mickbell thinking he knows why Kuro stays, Kuro thinking MICKBELL IS A KID WHEN MICK IS OLDER THAN HIM). Kabru himself thinks that when Kuro becomes fluent in common and the two can truly speak together is when they'll really become fruends. It's a hopeful outlook! But it makes sense, because again their relationship is based on miscommunication, Mickbell is afraid Kuro only stays because he has to because Kuro can't reassure him that he cares for Mick, and Kuro only has part of the picture because they can't talk it out, so giving them the tools to truly be able to talk and understand each other fully would completely flip the dynamic. It's truly interesting how they only have each other, but even in their relationship they're both very isolated.

"I don't want to make him anxious if I can help it. He's still a kid, but he's been through a lot of rough stuff. I'd like to be somebody he can feel relaxed around."

So yes, Kuro explicitly thinks of Mickbell as a child he must protect and watch over, care for! He has a more mentor way to talk about it, but it's easy to assume Kuro sees Mickbell as family too. Especially since he has a lot of siblings, many younger! He has a bit of a protective instinct and thinks he should be a protector, simply because Mickbell needs him, not for other more grand or personal reasons. He takes upon himself, both duties and in general for everything, he can't talk with others but that's fine, he's a dungeon diver who gets worked hard and even fights and that's fine by him, he just takes upon himself incessantly, like with Mickbell he sort of shrugs and says it is how it is.

Kuro still thinking of Mickbell as a kid has interesting implications. During the main story Mickbell is 22 and Kuro is 18- how many years could they really have spent together? He left his hometown to see more of the world and was kidnapped at a port, so we could assume he left home after coming of age at 13. He was kidnapped at a port and was part of slave market on the eastern continent, where kobolds are rarer and thus probably more profitable, so it makes sense that he'd have gotten sent to the eastern continent straight away. Just travelling the sea can take a while- the world map makes me think the sea between the western and eastern continent is of Atlantic Sea size, which irl can take a little under a week to travel through at a good pace, but with the lack of navigation technologies compared to today if you're less sure of where to go it can be more around a month. Unlikely for Kuro to have spent all that long in a cage on a boat then, but where it could get messier is once he's on the eastern continent. Mickbell freed Kuro from the guy who was holding him in a cage calling him a demihuman trader rather than an owner, so Kuro wouldn't have gotten sold yet? Or traded between different slave merchants, I wouldn't be surprised if he changed hands a couple times without having been ever sold to a customer really. It's said that the Island has a slave market for example so there seems to be large demand in many places and for it not to be done in secrecy really. But their meeting happens in Kahka Brud let's remember- which is a city with a big economical growth and market & sompopulation due to the dungeon cluster there, so it'd make sense for Kuro to have been sent there straight. Kuro was obviously mistreated, shown to stink and likely starved not unlike Izutsumi's experience caged in a freak show, but he's not bony enough for me to really be able to give a time estimation of neglect and starvation with his looks alone. This is a lot just to say "Well if we assume he left home at 13 and was enslaved soon after leaving home, and the process of getting to Kahka Brud could have taken a month at fastest, he could theoretically known Mickbell since then". During canon they're both on the Island rather than Kahka Brud, but we have nothing to be able to tell when Kuro and Mickbell came to the Island, just that they came together and that he was probably hired when Kabru formed a party 2 years before canon. We can try to compare him with Chilchuck- Canon happens in year 514, but Chilchuck came to the island five years ago, when he formed the half-foot union. Comapring them is relevant because Chilchuck comes from Kahka Brud too, again the place with a cluster of dungeons, so Chilchuck and Mickbell choosing to come to the Island for dungeon diving prospects shows the same attitude that the Kahka Brud dungeons are already all pillaged and overworked and to seek dungeons elsewhere. And who knows, maybe Mickbell didn't really choose to become an adventurer, maybe it was just about fleeing Kahka Brud since that was where he stole and did scams, but dungeon diving does seem to be a desperate man's job in many ways so it makes sense either way. The way Mickbell talks about Chilchuck, I don't get the feeling Mickbell's been on the island for longer/as long as Chilchuck and for longer than the half-foot union's existed, which makes sense if we go by the "maximum 5 years ago" theory of Mickbell and Kuro's meeting. They likely stuck around Kahka Brud for a while before deciding to go for it and move to the Island. So I guess, we can shoot to say that they knew each other for a maximum of five years but a minimum of two? I like to think Kuro spent at least a couple of months enslaved and so I'd put my own estimate at around 3-4 years, which is already a lot if you're them. A looot of time to bond with the only person in your life.

It's a bit odd, usually in a character who's been stolen away from their home a goal of theirs would be to go see their family again, but Kuro never brings up anything like that. Whether that means his homelife wasn't great, or that he feels closure enough just continuing to travel as he wanted, or even that he more or less forgot because of the trauma, who knows truly. You'll notice his stated dream is to travel with Mickbell, which ironically is directly incompatible with Mickbell's dream of settling down and getting a house with Kuro to live in. Since he was kidnapped by slave traders at a port in his original continent, we can surmise Kuro always had a taste for travel. Kuro isn't even his real name, Yodan is! His detachment from his homeland, family and cukture is very interesting. He has no problem just leaving it all behind indifinitely.

So yes Kuro isn't his actual name- so "Kuro", meaning "black" in japanese must have been a nickname given to him, and I bet it was Mickbell. Being a half-foot and a kobold who can't understand each other, the language barrier made Mickbell just start referring to him by the color of his fur. Kuro never mentions his real name so it doesn't seem he particularly cares- which is a wider point about Kuro actually, that he seems to be very laidback and laissez-faire type, unbothered and passive. Things are how they are and he goes along with it. He's not a confrontational person but he also trusts his guts when someone like Izutsumi feels off. He never questions Mickbell. When Kabru inquires about him and Mickbell, Kuro goes "oh don't worry about it it's nothing tbh". Which is also in line with how it's stated Kuro doesn't give a rat's ass about honor or wealth, he doesn't really seem to have a moral compass as much as "Mickbell is what matters to me so only what Mickbell wants and thinks matters", he follows Mickbell's orders with blind devotion when it comes to work or what they decide to do with their lives and that's just well with him. This reminds me of Falin a lot, the way I perceive them. Just utter devotion to their loved ones without really caring for what's morally right or wrong- because love is the priority and loved ones' wellbeing and happiness are all that truly matter, and sacrificing themselves and their own agency to make that happen. Kuro overlooks his own needs because he prioritizes others', Mickbell's. I think his views on relationships and what’s normal are very skewed. That said, Kabru calls Kuro overprotective too, and I think Kuro can be very stubborn as well, and as we see with the comic where Kabru and him talk about Izutsumi's smell he's perfectly able to have strong opinions, he's not only the stoic type. Kuro's very coddling with Mickbell, and while I do think he's a nice guy I definitely think Mickbell is an exception where that's pushed to the extreme for Kuro, Kuro's fixated on Mickbell just as much as Mickbell is fixated on Kuro. Codependence has never been truer a word gdbdgd. Kuro is rather polite and conscientious, in a regular conversation you'd think he very well-adjusted, he's smart and very observant, not just aided by his nose but with how aptly he notices psychological aspects of Mickbell for example, he's eager to learn and hardworking.

Kuro's biggest interest and dream is referred to be travelling, he left home to do just that before he was ever kidnapped already so it's not even an acquired taste from being encaged. And that fits well with Kuro just following the flow imo, Kuro's wants like Mickbell are small pleasures in life like that, just walking around and seeing new sights... Mickbell wants food and a roof over his head and Kuro wants food and freedom. Ironically, their wishes are directly contradictory- Mickbell wants to live in a house with Kuro and Kuro wants to travel around with Mickbell, Mickbell even has his dream of a specific neighborhood. But it is very notable that both their dreams mention the other, whatever it is they end up doing they want to do it together. Post-canon, he opens a variety store with Kuro, and it's said his relationship with Kuro stays unbalanced. We don't know where it was opened, if they stayed in Melini or went back to Kahka Brud- but since Mickbell's dream is to specifically get a house in Kahka Brud's best neighborhoods and it's where he lived before on the streets, it seems to make sense house in Kahka Brud would still be his goal and to set up shop there. Not that we get an update on the house funds, the post-canon blurb is still in the near future after canon so their futures are still very much left open. Just wait until Kuro learns common...! That'll solve everything........!

I tried to go extensively into his parallels with Toshiro and Izutsumi here. Hmm 7w6? Noo 7w8 actually god... Too real... Get me out of here the Mickbell and Kuro double whammy is making me need a smoke. Soooo many characters in Dunmeshi have this theme of learning to live for yourself be comfortable in your skin and get in touch with your needs and desires more Kuro!!

Relationships

: Overlook

Ok THIS is the fun part. So I made this chart as sort of a summary- we'll especially be looking at the personal bonds and work besties relationships through sections, but that's not to say those dynamics are the only things going on. I tried to keep only the basics and essentials, but you could also totally have added a Kuro to Kabru arrow mentioning how Kabru is teaching him common, or one from Mickbell to Holm about how Mickbell crashes at Holm's place occasioanllu. I made the purple lines based on what we see in canon, but it’s totally possible that Rin also judges Mickbell and Kuro, and that Holm and Dia judge Kabru & Rin as well, even though I don’t really think so, not particularly.

And that's what I’m getting at here: their party has a lot hanging in the air that everyone is more or less aware of but don’t truly acknowledge aloud, don't speak about or resolve. Holm and Dia needle Mickbell about his treatment of Kuro but don’t actually do anything or push, Kabru tries to help by teaching Kuro common but seems to be content "meddling" in only small subtle ways over time like that doing just what he can, concludes that the relationship mess goes bot hways and decide to just keep an eye on it quietly, meanwhile Mickbell seems tired of seeing Rin and Kabru bicker over her crush when Kabru teases and they argue, but doesn’t think to have a tal kabout whatever the fuck it is they have going on- it’s routine, it’s just how things are. It's commonplace- so their serious accusations about Mickbell are mentioned a grand total of twice and that's that, and only Mickbell out of everyone acknowledges aloud that Rin and Kabru have a weird thing going on and that Rin is weirdly deoted to Kabru/loves him implicitly. Everyone is much more ready to comment on Kuro & Mickbell than Rin & Kabru- which, absolutely deserved yes, but are what Kabru and Rin have not intensely weird behavior. Would you not get a headache trying to understand what's going on there and listening to their flirting and scolding and arguments on the regular. Do they never get "this needs to stop"? No, only Mickbell? Okay

Made this lil collage above but it's notable that the whole party throws casual jabs at Kabru all the time also, whether about how he can't take care of himself or how obsessed or weird he can be. Although everyone has respect and trust for kabru, they're also all fairly comfortable criticizing him. We see this in the shapeshifter "what if" comic too- his party members often find KAbru too extreme and overly dedicated, but ultimately trust him and follow his lead. Dia keeps her nose out of things but beyond hater duo Mickbell & Rin, even Holm comments regularly on his people pleasing and bad cleaning and organisation habits. Paralleling the Laios hater duo of Marcille and Chilchuck in the main party, Rin and Mickbell are especially critical and harsh on Kabru, here's a short and incomplete compilation to illustrate the point. Do they do fuckall about it though? No not really.

Everyone at some point or other shows concern for Kuro, it shows they don’t default to treating him as furniture or a tool after a long time of working together, they value him, but there’s always a third party barrier through which they have to interact, Mickbell- except for Kabru who can communicate with him on Kuro's own territory and have alone time with. But no one except Kabru and Mickbell even try to talk to/with Kuro, and you could also easily argue Kuro is not fully humanized, there's how no one except Mickbell worried for Kuro here for example.

I want you to imagine being Dia or Holm. I want you to imagine what it must take for there to be not one but two insane dynamics in your party amongst your coworkers, with who your job is so to camp with for weeks at a time, and not even blink at it anymore. I want you to imagine being kind and queen of staying in your lane and having these two obvious codependent situationships amongst your coworkers and just go "if I don't acknowledge this things are gonna go more smoothly". Save them get them out of there. Just the occasional long suffering sigh and "Mickbell that's not right :/" and yes, your job here is done.

You really start seeing this pattern looking closer where their party are fraught with interpersonal drama. The will-they-won't-they casanova leader & his angry tsundere childhood friend and Mickbell and his "employee" he exploits and isolates from the wider world??????? Truth of their relationship aside as we've discussed, this is how people around them perceive their dynamics and the optics are insane (/negative hello). The true doom of Kabru's party is all this interpersonal drama going on??? The very thing Chilchuck fears about parties lol, HOW has this party not imploded on itself yet. And personally I think that's a good part of what they contrast with the main party about- Where Kabru's party failed, Laios' party succeeded because they talked their differences out, they challenged each other on topics they disagree on and argued, instead of always just brushing everything under the rug. The reason canon happens at all is becase under the emergency of the situation Laios decides to be vulnerable and come clean about his interest in monster cuisine after all, and yes judgement and racism is rampant at first, but they reach an understanding through open communication. Meanwile, Kabru's party doing social 8d chess.......... Just keep on making passive aggressive comments forever see where it gets you.

This party also has a running theme with unabalanced and onesided relationships, and emotional dependence/burdening. It feels weird for it to be so weirdly intricately developed and consistent even though it does nothing in the main story- except for strengthening the whole diverse living cast thing which is important to the lesson and theme of people coming together despite differences is good, and like, "you can't judge others' relationships and sitations without knowing them" you know, but. It's here man it's here and present and too loud for me to unsee. Rin is dependent on Kabru and there's an argument to be made about the reverse being true as well even if Kabru is emotionally unavailable, and then there's the codependent Mickbell & Kuro mess, and even Dia and her fiance are faced with some unbalanced relationship and emotional unavailability. So our lineup is kabrin, mickuro, Dia & fiance and Holm who has a barely breathing social life. I suppose the latter's not uncommn though, the same can be said with most of Laios' party including Namari and Toshiro.... But good lord. This combined with how Dia & Holm get along together the best does make the party dynamic really funny though in a vacuum, everyone's going razy with intense tea meanwhile Dia and Holm the quiet judgers who glance at each other like do you see this shit. You are the only one normal here. (One has researched illegal magic and the other grew up in a cult.)

To me it's also really interesting Kabru hiring Mickbell and Kuro especially. Kabru is someone who works off reputation a lot, he has his homegrown informant web called gossip buddies and whatnot, and we know that while he's willing to go to questionable lengths for his beliefs, he has a pretty strong sense of right and wrong where stealing from people who ripped you off and repeatedly led you to death was a no-no. With all the shit Mickbell is catching even now about his slave- ehem, business partner, I doubt Mickbell would have seemed anywhere squeaky clean. Kabru hired a pretty blatant morally loose person who has stolen and scammed- and I think that's very interesting. Was Kabru desperate for party members? Maybe with Dia and Holm, believing in his cause was important-? No no, it's more likely the other way around- only desperate adventurers (or the ones who specifically want Kabru as their party member) stick to being in his party, with all the failures it experiences. Mickbell and Kuro are the only on who don't express loyalty to Kabru, so maybe Kabru's party was the only party willing to hire him- especially if he and Kuro are a package deal where they both get paid. And there's how Mickbell isn't affiliated with the half-foot guild too! Which means no work protections for him but also no salary cut? But yes yes, especially with the way he treated the corpse retrievers you'd think he wouldn't want anyone shifty on his side, but there's also the side of Kabru that loves to help others out, both on a societal and an interpersonal level- and I like to think that despite Mickbell obviously being from a rougher crowd he not only saw the two of them for the skilled people they are but also just, saw they were in a tough spot and wanted to offer a chance y'know? I had a convo about that once where I asked my Kabru expert friend what they thought about Kabru's grasp on socioeconomics and helping out people who are in tough situations for circumstances beyond their control, because you'd think Kabru would be understanding but then with the corpse retrievers, who seem Not Well Off and are comprised by many mixed races individuals like a half-dwarf and a half-gnome........ Helki and Mickbell are alike in many ways and it's interesting to think that may have played a part... Kabru seeing this disheveled obviously sketchy down on his luck Mickbell and being reminded of the only father figure he's ever had in his life, another blonde smartass with a ponytail, an ex-convict from a rough criminal background… And wanting to hire him to help him have a chance to get out of that place lowkey... I'M JUST SPITBALLING!!!!

Anyways so getting back to the crux of the matter, this is how the party naturally divides up with each other, the same kind of way Laios & Senshi and Marcille & Chilchuck did especially early on.

But the interesting thing is that Kabru keeps everyone at a distance, Rin included, so how does it divide up when Kabru and Rin aren’t interacting? She stays alone? Nope, oddly enough she seems to gravitate towards Mickbell. And the reverse is true- which makes sense since his partner isn’t a good conversationalist. Mickbell doesn’t really see Kuro as an equal, Kuro is his beloved fool he's tricking on the daily in his mind after all, so he doesn't seek out Kuro for opinions, because unlike Rin Kuro isn't a peer. In the page on the right notice the second panel, everyone gives each other a silent glance and this summarizes the dynamics here really well. Kabru is telling his plan of keeping going and this is everyone's moment to agree or disagree. Holm and Dia look to each other, more neutral. Rin and Mickbell look to each other, seeming more displeased, and Kuro looks to Mickbell. In that second of gauging each other's feelings through a glance, their resolve and opinion gets steeled and everyone tells their feelings after, Mickbell and Rin more reluctant. On the left you can see who sits next to who, who walks next to who in the party formation- Rin is always right next to KAbru but Mickbell is at her side, with Holm following without attracting much attention to himself and Daya closing the group on the lookout for threats. Mickbell & Kuro and Rin & Kabru as actual friends impotant in each other's lives tend to duo up, meanwhile Dia & Holm and Mickbell & Rin are more like "each other's favorite coworker" than actual friends, so Holm and Dia don't even necessarily stick together, at the risk of being third wheels. In fact the christmas gift exchange is a good character writing moment with everyone, if you want to look at their gifts and reactions.

So yes this explains how I divided up the chart, the duos are Rin & Kabru bond, Mickbell & Kuro bond, Mickbell & Rin coworker besties, Dia & Holm coworker besties.

Rin & Kabru

I made a rather in depth post on their relationship recently, specifically trying to nail down whether or not Kabru could have/had romantic or ambiguous feelings for her beyond/instead of "big sister":

It's a good look at it that covers most of the matter and has much, much more pictures than I could otherwise put here, so I'm allowing myself to go over this section faster here and summarize things.

Their relationship is obviously very onesided and... Needy, for a lack of a better word, because Rin is clingy and Kabru is probably her one friend in her life currently- but it's always been that way anyways hasn't it, did she have anyone else at the elves' too, did she have any in the village she grew up in that hated her family so much they killed them? She's overbearing and hovers over his shoulder for mistakes when they're together, but her reason for doing so is out of worry for Kabru, that because of his ambitious and self-neglectful tendencies he'll get himself into trouble, and she's not wrong about that! Kabru holds himself on his own currently, but it's not hard to see a future where he slowly descends into neglecting himself more and more in his focus on his work, but no currently he's still able to endear his landlord into cleaning his room for him and to put himself to sleep with alcohol. The relationship is onesided because Rin's always the one pushing and Kabru never truly opens up, but their relationship does have push and pull too- Kabru does pull sometimes. It isn't like Kuro simply passively enabling Mickbell's issues and bad behaviors, but in many ways encouraging them. Kabru flirts with her. He jokes and he teases in ways that come dangerously close to acknowledging aloud she has feelings for it, and never turning her down despite it being clear to us he has no intent on ever reciprocating them- He leads her on, whatever his intent is. And I go into possibilities of how and why in the separate post a lot, but overall I'd say that it's because he does need her back in a way too. It's that repressed desire for connection that rears its head with Laios and even Mithrun too. Maybe they're an ill-fitting match, but it's what he has, the friend he's had for the longest- Like I like to say, seeing Rin as his best friend is so sad and tragic but it’s also not wrong. From what we see she’s the closest to him, which is sad to think about. How can a guy’s social life be so thriving yet down in the dumps truly. She completely relies on him for purpose in her state in canon and dumps her emotions and issues on him, but he does play with her back and avoids his emotions and needs through her too. He has the uer hand in their dynamic, was even the one to ask Rin to come along with him when they left the elven kingdom. She's a fixture in his life, she's a safety net, she's someone who'll love him unconditionally, who even if he mistreats her a bit he knows she'll stick with him. He sees her as a big sister, after all. He knows her tough love is love. Does he give her jokes to latch onto as his way to keep her in check, or to make sure she'll want to keep following him? He can't bear to bare himself to anyone, but if it's Rin, she knows infinitely well how Kabru isn't perfect, constantly reminds him of that, and where in every other relationship he tries to be or has people believing he is perfect, with her he can be a little rotten, a little inconsiderate- and idk idk man. I don't think there's really a conclusion we can get to with them, but a lot of their dynamic feels just very. Mutually unhealthy. Like self-harm almost.

And like, look at the picture of them dancing below! Just it alone implies a dynamic already. They balance each other out somewhat, because they're severe about different things, Kabru encourages her to let loose socially but Rin keeps him from getting too full of himself in his own corner, because she always keeps calling out to him specifically, to the Kabru she knows and that he knows she knows- though maybe doubts sometimes. They both keep each other from being too caught up in themselves- but both of them are also frowning here. They also enable each other in very bad ways imo and inadvertently push each other into their bad habits, nagging Kabru makes him retreat into his shell even more and approach their relationship calculatingly or even coldly knowing of her feelings for him, and getting all the attention from Kabru in a way she doesn't want- because she can tell he still has his walls up- makes her more frustrated and it's all just a bad cycle of feeding each other to continue just as the status quo is. Rin nags him so Kabru throws her a bone so Rin nags him etc. But they're also genuinely dear to each other, maybe more iut of memories than because of the present, so they can't really let go of each other. Fucking doom tango fr

My take on Rin being particularly severe on Kabru, beyond just being worried that any mistake has a dangerous cost for people like them, is that like. She knows Kabru, from way back, and she sees his persona, how he tries to be perfect for others and caters to everyone's needs except his own, how he keeps himself hidden like that. And she doesn't wang Kabru the persona, just Kabru the person, the man she loves- and he's trying to be perfect but it's futile, and it just makes him more cardboard cutout, he's being fake and it just makes her so angry how he keeps his distance with her, so at every turn she tells him when he's not perfect, at every turn she reminds him of his flaws, as if to say, "you can't be perfect, just stop". And every flirt he sends her way during the story makes her madder because again she knows it's just empty air to toy with her, so she scolds harder. Like I don't think she's a self-aware person in general, so I think she mostly just feels this as sadness completely masked with anger that drives her foward and makes her impulsively say things, and she thinks what she says is right and she's being righteous, but also there's just this gaping void in her at the state of things, there's frustration whenever she sees Kabru smile a plastic smile at others all the time, and she doesn't know why. And the only worse thing is to have that plastic smile targeted at her- but it makes whenever he offers her more genuine unprompted attention all the more precious, like in the comic about her smiling.

They kept in touch post-canon! But it seems inevitable to me that the change in their lives made them grow a bit more distant, not working together all the time anymore. Rin figures Kabru is being taken care of by now, being a part of the royal court, and goes to pursue her own ventures, but they're still friends and that shows with Kabru inviting her to the castle. Rin can't help herself but to visit him once in a while to see if he's still breathing I bet- I do think she has a bit of a "only I don't get fooled by you (especially when you say you're fine)" way to think about him and their rekationship, a big of why she'd say the "Don't think everyone's going to fall for you". Anyways, it is fun to theorize Rin might be a pharmacist often hired by the castle hehe, but yes yes that's all we get info wise. Here's to hoping she mellows out some

Mickbell & Kuro

So, their relationship is more messed up than Kabru and Rin's, but it's less up in the air/free grounds for interpretation, much more directly explained. Their character profiles & extra pages alone give a really good look at their relationship and both their perspectives of it: Kuro's family that Mickbell has to find ways to chain to himself or he feels insecure, Mickbell to Kuro is a vulnerable kid that he chooses to look after and go the extra mile of being mindful & considerate of said insecurities. I already talked about it a lot in the Mickbell & Kuro sections, and the post I linked above has a longer but more compact analysis of them- but yes yes I'll still cover the essential and the new here. I said it earlier but Mickbell needs Kuro more than Kuro needs Mickbell- Kuro is like the entirety of Mickbell's emotional regulation 'skills' lol, where Kuro needs Mickbell in a material sense where Kuro wouldn't be able to communicate well with others or go far without money and Mickbell, Mickbell needs Kuro because otherwise he'd be shattered- not to say that Kuro isn't also very useful to have around for his muscles. Both of them are very physically and mentally vunerable both, the pyramid of maslow is not being met on any level eesh. Kuro needs a compass and Mickbell needs an anchor, both of them needed a purpose in the day to day life of survival and both chose each other for that- protect Mickbell, and buy a house with Kuro. The human mind thrives off of goals, desires. Again this thing with compass & anchor is very reminiscent of Falin with Kuro, the way she centered her life around others, so much so that when she was a mentally compromised chimera she defaulted to that way of being with Thistle. But they're in that spot very similar to them where one is especially very mentally vulnerable and easy to control whereas the other is very physically vulnerable if the other were to decide they've had enough and go murder mode on him. It's the dog loving the chain on its collar.

How long have they known each other? Who knows, but I estimated it between 2 to 5 years, between when Kuro became an adult and when Kabru formed a party- but even those are just guesses. I also think he named Kuro, since Kuro's name is actually Yodan and "kuro" simply means "black" in japanese, with the language barrier Mickbell wouldhave just started nicknaming him by the color of his fur.

It’s important to remember how they started: Mickbell saving Kuro and Kuro saving Mickbell, Mickbell freeing Kuro out of spite which made Kuro follow him and then Kuro saving Mickbell by maiming the guy who had kept him in a cage and was threatening Mickbell, prompting Mickbell to suggest hiring him (while being broke) as a bodyguard, half out of fear half out of seizing opportunities? And we'll get to that but this is a good way to understand why they're both so "It's us vs the world", they both came from a similar situation surviving in the slums together but even before that they had the same man for enemy, Mick helped Kuro out and Kuro helped Mick out in turn, and they stuck together. So that’s the origins of Kuro being "his employee" that he’s working for peanuts, it’s less disingenuous and eager than we’d expect, the attachment Mickbell formed to Kuro was over time, eventually associating Kuro with both safety and companionship. Meanwhile Kuro seemed ride or die very early, being saved helped I’m sure, but remembering that Kuro thinks of Mickbell as a child to protect also helps frame why Kuro would be so ready to devote himself to guarding him- seeing a small vulnerable "kid" in all this danger, constantly surrounded by threats and famine. So in the end, a big factor for their relationship is that they can’t communicate for shit. For several reasons including language barrier, overly controlling and dehumanizing behavior/abuse tactics backfiring- and emotional constipation. They both have preconceived notions and they both just.... Don't really know each other. I don't think Mickbell even knows his name- Kuro thinks he's a kid! They don't know each other, but they also know each other in the way of familiarity, in the form of having spent years inseparable glued to each other. Mickbell doesn't know Kuro's name and Kuro doesn't know Kuro's age, they don't know the other have siblings they have cut contact with and they don't know each other's dreams, they've never had an actual conversation especially on equal grounds, but also they know each other's mannerisms. They know each other's favorite foods. They know the sound of each other laughing and crying and the feeling of each other's warmth. They know each other but they also don't know each other at all!!!!! Crazy crazyyyy dynamic.

The "it's us vs the world" is so so strong with them especially from Mickbell's end, and can you blame him? Can you blame him when he's been kicked down like a dog all his life and he sees that in Kuro too? And perhaps no one else can ever understand Mickbell and know and stay with him like Kuro does, even when they can't even have actual conversations. This is it for Mickbell, Kuro is all he'll ever get in his mind and he's intent on never letting go, he's all he'll ever get and us all he wants and he cannot, will not, ever, let him go.

And the whole snarling-growling thing is very interesting too, especially since that's contrasted with Kabru (scroll down here for pictures). Mickbell has little experience with kobolds beside Kuro but also his first impression of Kuro was seeing him bite and maim a man to death. Kabru has experience with kobolds from his homeland where they're seen as more serious threat than cute doggy people, where there was fighting and rumors and presumably contact too since Kabru learned some of kobold language and he was only 6, AND Kabru has trauma with monsters and beasts in general. When Kuro growls, Mickbell goes "hey I told you to stop growling that's scary :/", and Kabru goes "Kuro, what's wrong?". And this is sooo so fascinating to me. Part of this already is again the language barrier, Kabru can ask Kuro to comfortably explain the issue where Mick cannot (he could still try though since Kuro can still speak some albeit broken common), so with Mickbell Kuro only has body language that doesn't come naturally to non-kobolds to communicate with- but Mickbell dismisses it as regularly as he doesn't. Part of it for Mickbell is having been on the other side of Kuro when angry, having seen how scary he can be and afraid himself- but then why? Does Mickbell still get scared of Kuro when he snarls and acts like that, the way a lot of us flinch when someone gets mad and yells? Does Kuro feel more unpredictable then, and that's scary for many reasons? Or maybe it's because he's scared of the way others see Kuro, that others will dehumanize Kuro if he emotes in ways like this. From where they come living on the streets, looking wrong at the wrong guy can cost a lot, so Mickbell may have extra developed a sense of keeping your head down at the right times and not provoking when risky- and he can't fully control Kuro so when that choice is out of his hands things feel a lot more shaky. Of course though in any case, growling or no growling Mickbell sticks with Kuro, keeps holding onto him when he snarls, it never crosses his mind to step away from Kuro or leave him behind, consequences or uncertainty be damned. Just, the justified concern mixing with the unhealthy possessiveness and controlling, the genuine fear... It represents their wider relationship pretty well in just one example.

He fucking sticks with Kuro with the baths!! Many bathhouses don't accept kobolds but Mickbell tirelessly keeps looking for one who will, Mickbell and Kuro are a PACKAGE DEAL and it stays that way even when it's inconvenient for Mickbell. Mickbell washes Kuro and spends hours brushing him afterwards with immense care and patience, there's effort there on his end too there is consideration and love!! They are sooooo ride or die!!!! "Now you're the cleanest dog in the whole wild world, no one can look down on you"!!!!!!

They have incompatible dreams of the future, Mickbell wants to settle down in a house and Kuro wants to travel, both want to do it together. My thing with Mick & Kuro post-canon is the only ways I see it develop and go down is: 1) Kuro becomes able to easily converse with him and their relationship changes with a lot of rough bumps but slowly and surely towards something better and/or 2) Kuro leaves to travel here and there while Mick manages the house, they’re still in a life partnership but they’re ok being apart for a while now. Mickbell learns that leaving doesn’t mean there’s no coming back and to live beyond each other ykyk <3 But while Kabru himself is hopeful that when Kuro becomes fluent in common Mickbell and Kuro can "really become friends", their post-canon blurbs break our hopes for a near future resolution, specifying that Mickbell "still works Kuro hard". They open a variety store together! I like to call it Mick & Kuro's knick knacks <3 Does Mickbell still keep his prices and product descriptions dangerously close to being scammy? Possible! He's earned it though he has his own store brooo his own building his own business... I know that shit got him emotional We do see that Kuro gets him to be healthier slowly but surely though- in the last chapters we see him push Mickbell implicitly towards the half-foot guild! Kuro is protective but not possessive and he encourages Mickbell to get out of his shell, reflecting how he talks about Mickbell as someone needing support and gentle care & understanding- he was being real about noticing his issues and wanting him to become happier.

Once upon a time back in my early days of shipping mickrin I entertained the thought Mickbell's attachment to Mickbell may have a romantic nature mixed in as well, whether it'd be "genuine" or maladaptive's too complex for me to say- but what was funny is that even in that case to me nothing changed. I think that in a world where Mickbell likes Kuro romantically, he would neverrr ever make a move because he'd be too terrified Kuro would dislike it and leave- so instead it just gets lashed out in different ways and he vents & seeks that out in other people kinda hoping it'd be Kuro or whatever. Kuro's too precious to risk is the thing. "It's us vs the world" and if Kuro leaves then is when he would be truly alone- like I mention in the Mickbell & Kuro I linked I think Mickbell is very afraid of change. It's why I think the possible future of Kuro learning to talk common well would be rockier than we'd assume at first- and I think in that fear of change is the fear of changing the nature of their relationship and lowkey even the fear of deepening it- What if Kuro starts actually understanding what Mickbell always says and decides Mickbell is stupid and unlikable after all? What if Kuro starts talking and Mickbell doesn't like what he says? What would Mickbell do if Kuro started being more inquisitive, asking more questions and requesting more things? Mickbell is terrified of Kuro having agency and it's for a reason!! Mickbell lowkey dehumanizes Kuro as a possession sometimes because that's less scary, because Kuro being a full person with his own wants and thoughts detached from Mickbell is scary!!

Mickbell needs to be Kuro's whole world- because if Kuro got a taste of the rest of the world, everything else there is beside him- beyond him-, then how could Mickbell possibly compete with that? How could Kuro choose Mickbell over the world? And the irony of it all the thing that gets me choked up is that along it was never a competition, the world has always been Kuro's love, travelling is his main interest, and he wants to travel it with Mickbell- The world is wonderful and Mickbell's presence doesn't take away from it but enriches it, makes the world even more valuable and treasured and life more enjoyable and full and god. God!!!!!

So yes these are insane coworkers to have and this is the dynamic that has Dia and Holm side-eye Mickbell and ask him when he's planning to free his house elf. Imagine having a group project in school and these dudes are in your group.

Rin & Mickbell

The hater duo, no 1!!!! Dia & Holm is the second one but they can't hope to match these two's intensity and hater aura. This is our moment to breathe we're getting back into Kuro & Mickbell madnedd after

I compile their most relevant interactions here, and you can also see a small compilation of them combining their hater powers on Kabru here. There'S a lot of things that make them really fun to pair up, like how they're easily the top 2 most unpleasant bitter Kabru party members and how they like each other best anyways lol, or how they're both in a codependent situationship- and they both have similar defense mechanisms of most things getting filtered through anger, but what's especially interesting is how they're different in the worst way, in Rin's codependent relationship she's the one who gives and devotes herself, the self-sacrificial one, and in Mickbell's codependent relationship he's the one who takes and takes, the self-centered one.

That's already me getting lost in the sauce though because these two are just coworkers and that ends there- in fact with the tavern comic about Rin smiling we see that they get along much more at work than outside of it. I think why they get along is exactly that blunt and critical nature of theirs- Neither hesitate or bother with politeness or little games to say what they have on their mind and when something's a bad idea- it's why with even just a "you see this shit?" glance at each other they get steeled and soothed into reluctantly agreeing with Kabru, "Well, if Mickbell/Rin is okay going along with Kabru's plan, it must be fine after all... Not that we won't shoot him with laser beams with our eyes". Like I said earlier even though Mickbell can be manipulative, but he emotes very strongly and openly and is very blunt as a rule, he seems to value in others the same type of directness that he has with emoting and interacting, as seen with his distaste for Rin being a tsundere in the same tavern comic. You could reach and theorize his distaste in Rin acting all happy because Kabru complimented her, despite her still being very sour, is also from a feeling that she's being easily manipulated, which could be interesting... But yes yes, and similarly Rin is drawn towards someone who is similarly severe with high standards and who's very cautious with plans and money, and with her distaste for Kabru's own playing around and fake politeness it's interesting to think she'd find someone who's authentic to the point of being unabashedly unpleasant refreshing. So yes yes, they're united in haterism, and they look to each other for opinions, and they sit together, and when they meet Laios' party with Toshiro's Mickbell tugs on her (the only other who took a hard stance on wanting the "thieves" to pay) dress to go "hey you see these bastards?", and when Rin casts waterwalk on the party it feels very familiar- which shows still how much familiarity the party has developed together. They don't get together to have a laugh or have fun, but they seem to be each other's favorite coworker and be often on the same wavelength, easily understand each other's thoughts from even just a glance.

You can feasibly theorize Mickbell has a crush on Rin and is jealous of Kabru for it, considering he's always hanging around Rin when it isn't Kuro, how he hangs onto her on the regular, when he sighs seeing Rin and Kabru argue because Kabru flirted, when he's always on Kabru's case, when he's the only one who brings up Rin & Kabru's relationship, when he gets frustrated she doesn't laugh at his jokes and says she woud be much cuter and more charming if she smiled more- which we see Mickbell beam at. Misogynistic energy? Yes. No one said Mickbell hasn't some incel tendencies in him lol. I don't think that's the intent though and all these things can be easily explained by other stuff, but all of these together make it a coherent angle, if you so wish for it. Mickbell lashing out at those he likes because he's insecure when he doesn't have their full attention who'd have thunk! The mickrin manifesto is coming another dayyyy though I can't get more sidetracked

Kuro & Kabru

I already went into some things a bit like Kabru's reaction to Kuro growling despite his trauma wit hbeasts and experience with kobolds' nastier side, and I have a post where I let myself ramble about the two of them here- I'm sorryyyyy I'm sorry everything is so interconnected I can't not repeat myself and link stuff!! But once again I'll cover the bases here- In a non shippy light but also the original post is 90% parallels and analysis too

So their relationship is really interesting in many many ways. Kabru is teaching Kuro to speak and write common in secret, which shows many things already. In the party he's by far the most considerate and caring of Kuro, we see him listen to Kuro's worries about Izutsumi also. We see him ask Kuro about his opinions, for Kuro that's revolutionary, we see him take Kuro's concerns seriously and extensively talk about them and he accommodates with talking kobold as well. For being the one with monster & demihuman trauma, he's the one who humanizes Kuro the most- perhaps because it forces him to take Kuro seriously and keep in mind the whole of him, not only appearances or behavior, in an hypervigilance and "I know what you are" way, if that makes sense?? We see Kabru's urge to spend time to give a voice to the voiceless, to help this one dude, his coworker living in questionable circumstances. And all of this, again, despite his trauma, despite him saying it's best to assume communication with demihumans is impossible in the kobold extra!!! Do see the irony!! And many say that Kabru only said that because it was the Touden siblings and he wanted to say anything to make them think twice about blindly approaching the "cool cute desert dog people", but even if that's fully the case I still think it's interesting that he'd be willing to throw demihumans he spent his early childhood coexisting with under the bus like that- in a way.

He's giving Kuro knowledge... Teaching him like Milsiril once did- the thing he himself most grateful to her for. From one disempowered person to the other he's teaching societal survival skills. He's tutoring Kuro on his own best weapon: words. And he does this in secret, with no laurels and no reward, at night on the regular. I think their dynamic really goes to show just how much Kabru cares about others, how even though he sees Kuro as more "photorealistic" and less cartoony than the others, both because he knows the dangers of kobols and he takes them more seriously- and inadvertently emphasing on the beastly animal side taking away the endearing exaggerated features..... Even then, he's so so very considerate, and kind, and he cares, and how much he wants the world to be better and equal and for everyone to live well. And this shows in how the nightly sessions are also a way he gets to interact with Kuro away from Mickbell's eyes- This is where Kabru inquires about their relationship and learns about Kuro's vision of things. Whenever Mickbell steps in Kabru immediately folds, makes himself as non-threatening and unimposing to Mickbell as possible and steps away without resistance to ease his worries, but when he's away Kabru and Kuro can actually talk. And Kuro does open up to him, and hearing his thoughts Kabru learns about them andconcludes that both of them are overprotective over the other- He sees that the issue and the overattachment isn't oneway, and acts in kind. Kabru keeps an eye on them, as seen also with the end of the extra about Izutsumi's scent, helping in the ways he can, subtly through acts like helping Kuro learn common so one day he and Mickbell may talk.

Kabru is likely the closest thing to a friend Kuro has currently, beyond Mickbell. Which is crazy to think about!! But also man I want you to imagine them having their late night study sessions, talking about their home the western continent together for a bit. Kabru gets to talk about the desserts he couldn't talk about in the elven kingdom and Kuro recognizes them, in just talking about the weather they find so much commonplace, in traditions and myths and habits and ways to be- And maybe from where he's from Kuro's heard of the evil eye as well, knows that tallmen with blue eyes are rare and seen as bad omens, disowned and chased out of cities, but Kuro offers no judgement and so Kabru offers none in return. Like their arrows towards each other are "kobold" from Kabru to Kuro and "he speaks my language", and that's so crazy!!!! That's so little but that's so crazy!! And I truly cannot handle typing these thoughts again so just scroll down here but my god my god!! The heartwrenching isolation of them.

Ah yes- there's also something to say about how only he and Mickbell don't follow Kabru with any solid sense of loyalty! Everyone else praises Kabru's cause and says they're there for him to achieve it, but Mickbell stays quiet on that lol and almost walks out at one point- and then Kuro very straightforwardly says that he'll follow Mickbell whatever he decides- As much as Mickbell is Kuro's "employer" Mickbell is Kuro's leader, Kabru might be the team coordinator in his eyes and he does respect him, but the only cemented in loyalty he has is to Mickbell. Ironically, he's also the one who rates him as a party leader best! At a high 95% score. Which still shows just how much Kuro likes and respects Kabru... And also might show how low his standards are, since the party keeps dying under his lead- Kuro hasn't had great impressions of bosses and workers' rights after all- like with people's behaviors and living conditions and whatnot he has bare minimums standards, a very low bar, like him thinking of Kabru as "The guy who speaks my language!" something that should be so normal, being able to communicate with someone in a language you're comfortable and fluent in, has become something exceptional and precious.

Kabru & Mickbell

Okay this one is sooo interestingly layered. So there's a lot that goes into Mickbell's onesided beef with Kabru- I can try to summarize it as that Kabru seems effortlessly charismatic.

Part of it is as Mickbell puts it here and here, that he's afraid Kabru will steal Kuro away somehow (and that's without knowing about their study sessions). Kabru is so charismatic and likable, and kind something that as we se Mickbell tends to approach with suspicion- nothing in this world's free. Believing that Kuro only stays with Mickbell because he has to and that Mickbell successfully fools him, it's not hard to see him being afraid of Kabru "telling Kuro stuff" that'll convince Kuro or turn him against Mickbell, "he's a smooth talker, don't let him kidnap you"! It's again that belief that Kuro is easily fooled mixed with Mickbell's belief that no one could choose him over others if they had option- who wouldn't go for the cool and handsome charismatic witty tallman? Even his fave coworker who's just as severe as him is all wrapped up around his finger after all. And then there might be more general jealousy at work, about Kabru being an ideal with all these qualities and how well off he seems despite being broke too, Mickbell possesses so few qualities and his party leader that he finds incompetent on top of everything else just has "every quality given to him on a silver platter" or whatever resenting drivel Mickbell would think up. And then yes there's as I put it, the incompetence- Kabru and Mickbell think & operate in very different ways, Mickbell is very direct while Kabru is very indirect, Mickbell is very practical while Kabru is very guided by ideals- they have very different conceptions of "the end justifies the means", very different goals of self-serving vs greater good. They have different morals and views on retribution with the corpse retrievers, he's the one who pushes most against Kabru's plan of keeping going into the dungeon even after things go wrong and so he's the one who gets his concerns dismissed by Mickbell most, alongside Rin. Like with Rin he seems to see Kabu as reckless and as someone who takes things too lightly, which as someone who takes his job very seriously is frustrating, and like with Holm and Dia too he seems well aware of his flaws with people and his "fakeness", which doesn't endear him lol. Also someone stubborn- which from someone stubborn to another is always a sign of a great war incoming lmao.

And I do want to reiterate the beef is onesided!! Kabru is maybe even the most charitable and patient with Mickbell. As much as Holm let him and Kuro crash for a night, Kabru was the one to give him the money to go to a bathhouse. You can see his look of concern at stinky Mickbell in the first panel lol.

Again I'll share this comp of Mickbell and Rin being on his case, to see some examples! And my personal favorite:

And notice the Dia-Holm sideglance in the next-to-last panel. Is it a "he spitting some truth rn" or a "Ahh Kabru is on his corny shit again"? Wouldn't you like to know lmfao

Daya & Holm

You looove to be unbothered and uninvolved in the love square happening. The hate triangle if you will (Kuro isn't involved in that one he dgaf). You looove to just give professional opinions on the party's plans and that's it, you love keeping things to yourself and being a quiet pillar of the party rather than anything showy or flashy. I just love their side-eyes I just love making them quietly judge everyone especially togther, "you are my partner in sanity" fr.

Even together they don't have that strong a bond, like with Rin & Mickbell it starts and ends with their work dynamic pretty much. Still, consistently over and over again when the party divides itself into subgroups naturally, these two gravitate towards each other. As above a Daydream Hour shows them hanging out (off-work considering their outfits?) and points out that they're the party members "closest in age", 58 and 76 respectively, the oldest beside them is Rin at 24. Developmentally, with just proportionally comparing their lifespan to tallman's and calculating in kind Dia would be 23 while Holm is 30, so this thing about being closest in age seem to be about them both being longlived races, thus having a more similar sense of time and outlook on the world for it. They do seem to be all around the most mature and well adjusted of the group- although those appearances can for sure hide some deep flaws we just haven't been able to truly notice.

OTHERS?

These are the ones I felt were worth commenting on but they all have litle dynamics between each other, with Mickbell & Daya the least probably, for example if you want Holm & kabru thoughts I made a ship post about them and compiled most of their interactions. Like, I do like to summarize Holm @ kabru as "i won't talk about it but damn you live like this??". Holm @ most of the party actually lol. Holm has bigger fish to fry anyways, like Mickbell, who already outranks Kabru there and then crashes at his house on top of it. Holm and Rin often team up to talk about magic, when shopping or when Kabru asks something.

Daya and Holm have less strong & deep dynamics because they have less ties, simple as, they keep themselves less entangled in what's pretty much office life- yes they're willing to risk their lives to dungeon dive with th party, but that's as with any adventurer, as with everyone desperate and unstable enough to have it as their main job. Rin is tied to Kabru so that gives her importance, but Mickbell and Kuro have each other so it gives the party dynamic around them a lot of layers already, their personal lives are more shown during canon and extra because of it, meanwhile Holm and Daya both keep to themselves much more and their personal lives are only hinted at in extras, they don't have drama on the regular in front of the rest of the party the way the others do lmao.

Conclusion

Kabru’s party is in a bit of a weird spot in the main story- I think we can agree they’re characters that feel largely forgotten by the story after a point, and don’t matter all that much. I do think they have a narrative purpose, but. It's all about Kabru and setting his character up, similarly to how Namari was to give Marcille growth and Toshiro was to give Laios growth, it offers us an early Kabru to compare middle and late Kabru with when it comes to relationships and alliances, and with how much they fail and the few scenes they have where Kabru has his mask on and even coldly rebutts Rin I think we're supposed to see the flaws in his way to lead and work in team, where Kabru changing on that end would be for the better. They're a window into Kabru's shortcomings in teamwork and social life, his status quo at the startof the story. Laios' team was as successful in the main story because they truly came together, became friends who revealed their authentic selves to be stronger even when they worked together and were all very different from one another- but what Kabru does is try to hide and compensate for flaws, especially his own, and he hides things from his party and he keeps himself at a distance from it. Laios wasn't all that different with his party pre-canon, but where in the emergency of current events Laios shed pretenses at the risk of being disliked and rejected by others, in early manga Kabru instead tightens his grip on trying to control the party- why Kabru pushes his party members into his plans with less and less care for their opinions with his rebuttal of Rin as the peak of that- until he even lowkey isn't all that motivated by his party members being hostages lol. Like- am I making sense??

Analyzing labru vs kabumisu interpretations of Kabru is honestly very interesting because the two ships' fans seem to often have a completely different take on him. Kabumisu fans tend to emphase on Kabru's need for agency and empowerment and labru fans tend to emphase on Kabru's need to learn to compromise and not taking everything upon himself only, and see like, both are true both are good, and which of the two ships you like more depends a lot on these subconscious little differences in interpretation you naturally develop I think, because while I'm a double agent I myself prefer labru a bit and I naturally lean towards the "Kabru has lessons and change to do" angle, where with kabumisu often the focus is on not Laios gaining understanding from another but Kabru gaining understanding from another. For Kabru to grow vs to be validated, for him to finally feel safe and comfortable, and that to be achieved either through growth or through comfort, though both through understanding one another. It's about trust it's about understanding others on your own terms vs theirs it's about how being willing to open up and delve in relationships makes your understanding of people better, truer!! Understanding others, debatably the biggest theme in Dunmeshi!! Anyways don't tell the fandom I said that

In the wider meta narrative- Dunmeshi has a big theme of conforming and fitting into society, all its main character have that as a big theme- Laios being a misfit, Marcille being a half-elf, Chilchuck being a half-foot in a bigoted society, Senshi being an exiled hermit, Izutsumi being a beastkin… The experiences are varied but it’s an universal theme, everyone has things they're ostracized for somewhere or other. And I think all of Kabru’s party have a facet, variance of that that’s interesting, one that’s less about social acceptance and finding your place like Laios’ party but has a bigger focus on economical struggle, Kabru and Rin are to put it very short powerless child refugees, Mickbell and Kuro are dirt poor, Daya was threatened to fit into a strict mold and Holm was put in jail for academic studies. They have codependent relationships and emotional unavailability all around in different ways, there's isolation as a theme there too. That also is largely a Dunmeshi theme. Does no one have a fucking healthy good thriving social life? A good work-personal life balance? Being in touch with yourown needs and feelings perhaps? The triforce of things you can never have all at once in dunmeshi. But all these similar yet different hardships, all these people with hard to pin down exteriors- it's all about understanding too. How can you judge without first understanding, you know?

They're doubtlessly minor characters, but they're also part of that large tapestry of diverse people that's needed for Dunmeshi to do what it does, thematically and narratively. For that final battle to have so many different people come together to fight on the side of humanity, for all its habitants for all the facets of people in it, together. "If even one thing had been missing, we wouldn't have gotten here" as Kabru puts it himself in the next-to-last chapter. This is Dungeon Meshi, everything is interwoven, it's all a web because our environment shapes us as much as we shape it.

They get sidelined by the story. much like they were by Kabru- but he does have their loyalty, like how Laios' party stuck together through it all, even Chilchuck and Izutsumi, and when it's time for the final battle they're there to help and it matters, they matter. Relationships, trust, goes both ways, it shouldn't be onesided. If someone proves genuine why not try opening up? Kabru's party always trusts him and show up when it matters- Because to put full trust in another is terrifying and risky, but sometimes it'll pay off, and still always they take that step to trust their leader. Trust and love and care isn't a transaction, earned or not, and all you can do is try to appreciate it and repay it in care. In the end Kabru's party reminds us of those things, that despite everything we all need someone.

[the-silver-chronicles]

2025 Year Of The OTP March Prompts: "If Things Had Gone Differently..." [Boa Lurking In The Bliss]

Tagging @direwombat @inafieldofdaisies @josephseedismyfather @noodlecupcakes @imogenkol @socially-awkward-skeleton @adelaidedrubman @josephslittledeputy @belladelamorte @cassietrn @g0dspeeed @aceghosts @voidika @cloudofbutterflies92 @derelictheretic @icecutioner @shallow-gravy @strangefable @statichvm @carlosoliveiraa @wrathfulrook @starsandskies @ladyoriza @la-grosse-patate @thewanderer-000 @omen-speaker @alypink @shellibisshe @skoll-sun-eater @afarcryfrommymain @strafethesesinners @turbo-virgins @florbelles @minilev @justasmolbard @yokobai and @seedsplease + anyone else who'd like to join.

Managed to finish this March Prompts after being inspired by a post that recently came up on my feed and pissed me off so much.

Anyway, March Prompts based on this Year Of The OTP fandom event. Tackling the following prompts: Fresh Starts, "What are you doing with that?" & Florist/Tattoo Artist.

Sharing the March Oneshot here, but alternatively can be found on my AO3 here.

Minor mentioned character death for this one (forgive me, Joey). But, uh, mostly fluff and canon divergence for this. Admittedly, I'm not 100% satisfied with this one, but I'd feel more better once I begin the April prompts.

Anyway, you can read the oneshot below the cut or on my AO3 above. Enjoy!:

Title: If Things Had Gone Differently…

Series: The Silver Chronicles

Pairing: Boa Lurking In The Bliss (Silva Omar/Faith Seed)

Prompts: March – Fresh Starts, “What are you doing with that?” & Florist/Tattoo Artist.

Genre: Fluff.

Words: 4,519

It was rather bittersweet; surprisingly so, considering who she was bringing to the cruiser.

Faith didn’t fight, nor did she resist. She barely struggled. She was rather compliant, actually. As compliant as Joseph had been. Tracey would have probably said something along the lines of how this showed how eager her ex-best friend had been to adopt the Seed name, including their peculiar quirks, just to fit in. At least, if Silva were still on friendly terms with the Cougar’s leader.

Perhaps that would have been true for Rachel… the girl Faith had been before the former became Joseph’s sister, the one Tracey once knew.

Silva knew better though. No one can change their name and still be the expected to remain the same person afterwards.

She knew this as a fact. Paul had taught her this. And so had Alvarich.

Names were a powerful thing; they were fundamental to the identity of everyone. Names gave a person their life, and sometimes, their purpose. Names were key to finding you’re true self.

To have no name meant a person was lost, without purpose and without life. To have many names meant a person was untrue, to themselves and to others. Only an honest death could free them of such travesty.

She heard the stories of Jannah. Even read the old scriptures. How Jannah, before she became the Tumultite Idealist, was born with no name gifted to her; just referred to as ‘girl’, ‘slave’, ‘servant’, nouns of how others saw her, what they made her. She was less than no one, not even close to a something.

Then she spoke. She wrote. She fought. She defied. No longer what others saw her to be.

She did what no others in her community were expected to do, had been expected to do long since the tribes that predated them were cowed into submission by the marauders that conquered the isla they inhabited.

She had named herself. “Jannah”. And in doing so, she changed; and brought with her change as well.

It was not uncommon for Tumultites to change their names, though whenever one did so, it called for celebration. For they’ve embraced the traditions of their ancestors and defied the oppression of the marauders and their descendants. It signified change within themselves, something the Congregation could never understand.

Silva, too, had been amongst those who changed; adopted into the Tumultite community as sweet and timid Sylvester, but had slowly transformed into a strong, ferocious and protective leader, accepting the nickname they had so lovingly called her for all those years as her true name, after the death of Persephone.

Maybe that’s why she gravitated towards companionship with someone as enigmatic as Faith, in contrast to her brothers. Perhaps she couldn’t help but jump at the chance to befriend someone who experienced such wonderful and dreadful change like she had, even if that person was supposed to be her enemy?

Silva never once referred the other woman as “Rachel”; after all, how could she? It would have been redundant. She was Faith now, far from the descriptions of who Tracey reminisced about when she had too much to drink, and Faith told Silva herself that she “left Rachel in the dark” a long time ago.

Although the circumstances behind how she gained her new name and identity were FAR from ideal and neither was it something Silva was comfortable with… Faith seemed at peace with her choice. Happy with who she was. So she left it be. Accepted her words as truth, for once.

To Silva, she was just Faith. And that was that.

It didn’t stop Silva from kicking Joseph’s teeth in almost two weeks ago in the very same centre square of the compound she walked Faith down. A little vengeance for the “sisters” he threw away.

The woman she had her arms on still wore her signature white dress, though tattered and ripped in certain areas, attempts to sew them close clearly demonstrated the herald’s inexperience and the deputy’s expertise, with messily loose and perfectly closed stitches respectively.

Faith had refused her recommendation for a fresh change of clothes. At the very least, she managed to convince Faith from going out barefoot. It was a tough sell, but the deputy had gotten her to wear sandals instead.

Silva guided Faith to the rear doors of the cruiser, glancing to the officers waiting patiently in the front seats.

“I guess this is goodbye, then?” Faith had queried just as Silva reached for the door handle. Curiously, she glanced back at the deputy so her green eyes could focus on Silva’s expression.

Silva mulled over a response to Faith’s question. It seemed the appropriate answer would be a flat “yes” before stuffing the herald into the cruiser’s suspect transport enclosure. See her be driven off, out of sight, out of mind, just like her brothers.

That didn’t sit right with Silva though. Not when it was Faith. Call her crazy, or perhaps blissed, but unlike the Seed brothers, she liked Faith. More than she should, especially after everything she’s done.

Eventually, Silva simply replied, “For now.”

The response wasn’t concrete, but it did invite an openness that seemed to surprise Faith.

To her unfortunate delight, Faith grinned with confidence.

“You do know they won’t keep me for long, right?”

It wasn’t a response a perp should be sharing with the deputy arresting her. Then again, she doubted she was going to remain a deputy for much longer anyway.

One thing Silva knew was certain. Faith was right.

“I’m counting on it.”

And that excited her.

Faith seemed to share the same sentiment, asking, “Will you still be here?”

Silva hadn’t expected to be asked that, though. Especially not by Faith. In fact, she hadn’t gotten the opportunity to think much on the question.

After everything she’s experienced in Hope County, would she really stay?

There were good people here, certainly, and they treated her like she was one of them; something she hadn’t had for many years now.

But she lost so much here as well. Her hermana, her hija, and most recently, she’s ousted Kamski from her life. After what he did to all those people in John’s Bunker, the excuses he made, she couldn’t stand the idea of him staying anywhere close to him.

…She still needs to attend Hudson’s funeral. And more, after that. Could she continue to live in a place where more of her amigas and familia have been buried?

Can she really be expected to go about a normal life in a place that she’s spilled more blood for than spared?

“…I’m not sure I can,” she answered honestly, glancing away from Faith, as the cruiser’s door handle clicked.

Dejection crossed Faith’s expression, but it was brief as it returned to the same serene confidence that the Father wore.

Silva opened the cruiser’s door wide open, waiting for Faith to enter. The Seed sister took a step and two forward but stopped just short of entering. Those enchanting green eyes locked with Silva’s dull grey. Her cut lips parted, to speak.

“Will you wait?” she asked softly, voice brimming close to a desperate plea, “Just for a little while?”

Silva felt as if her body froze as she processed those words; Faith looked at her with the sincerest gaze she’s seen her display. The image embedded itself in her mind’s eye. Perhaps she was still under the Siren’s influence after all.

…She didn’t quite mind it.

A small smile tugged up her lips, and she replied with her voice lowered yet certain, “Of course.”

And with that, Faith entered the cruiser’s backseats, destination towards a long trial awaiting her. As soon as Silva closed the door, the cruiser didn’t waste any more time at the Compound and began transporting the herald to join her brothers.

She stood and watched it leave; even stayed long after it turned out of her sight. She let out an exhale and glanced around the white buildings preceding the white chapel where Joseph spoke poison to his family and followers, spreading the delusion of a Collapse that she knew had long since passed.

Silva walked away from the compound, and towards the nearby lake. Treading along the deck as the wind blew past her, her braid of dark hair loosening, allowing strands of dyed silver to fall behind her shoulder, she stopped at the end, overlooking the water and the blue sky.

At the very least, Silva found herself glad about one thing. Joseph was wrong about his vision.

Not a mushroom cloud in the sky.

---

The bell dinged upon being disturbed by the opening door, though that was fine with Silva. It brought a small thrill to her, in a silly sort of way.

Every time she turned around or glanced over to see who it was, she’d be faced with someone new. A new person to talk to. Someone with a story to tell.

Entering the two-story store, her newest customer was an older bald man with a scruffy beard, his complexion darker than hers, wearing a green hoody and baggy pants, browsing at the various pots of plants and flowers throughout her shop.

Silva dusted off her gloved hands of the soil she was setting in the pot she was working on, wiping the dirt on the apron she wore over her dress, a change that deviated from her usual attire as a former deputy, and proceeded to approach her customer with a kind smile.

Pleasantries were exchanged, and her customer expressed the plants he was seeking; a bouquet of peony flowers for a date with his partner of seven years. Silva noticed he seemed kind of nervous about it, and from the way he was described it, she deduced he had intentions to bend the knee and ask “THE Question” as she’s heard it commonly be referred to.

Her smile tugged up a little further as she gathered the pink-tinted peonies her customer sought; whether it was intentional or not, the flowers he wanted held a symbolization that was rather fitting for the occasion.

It wasn’t her place to pry though, only to wish him the best of luck once she gave him the bouquet of peonies, the purchase complete.

Once the bell rung with his exit, Silva let out a low exhale. She always saw new faces. She didn’t get to encounter as many that were familiar.

Especially those she knew in Hope County, Montana.

She let out a little mirthless laugh. It’s been three years since we started fresh over here in Maryland, and I’m still thinking back to a place that holds so much tragedy.

Although, to the county’s credit, not all the time she spent there had been inherently tragic. There were quite a lot of good moments too, thinking back on it.

Though admittedly there were more… complicated feelings surrounding the place as well. Especially after the Eden’s Gate debacle in 2018.

She shook her head to rid herself the reminder of those months of utter chaos. Although it had felt like longer at the time.

However, just as countless times before, once Silva was caught in the memory of her former home, she would always end up trapped back in that short and surprisingly impactful period of her life.

She’d remember the apprehension, standing before the fraudulent prophet for his arrest, back when she was a junior deputy two months in the job, following the orders of a Marshal who was way in over his head. The terror of the chopper coming down as his followers went to great costly lengths to keep their shepherd. The disgusting taste of the river water that had almost become her grave.

She’d try to shake away the recollections by tending to the bountiful batches of flowers she had in her shop. Though such memories were not easily deterred.

No, such memories brought forth others; the countless nights of exhaustion, the sting of a burning needle against her exposed flesh, days of being starved and dehydrated, the guilt, the fear, the wrath and the heartbreak. Personally the worst of it came when she broke all connection with the one person she trusted like family, whom she never expected to go behind her back to commit an act so heinous and vile, in spite of everything they’d been through together, that only she and him would carry for the rest of their days.

Silva huffed, a small frown sloping down her lips as she recalled the events that led up to her estrangement with who was possibly her oldest remaining friend from her time before settling in America. Brushing the pink-tinted petals of the camellia flower with tender gloved finger, she shook her head abruptly, stepping back as she refused to stare at the yellow anthers inside the plant.

Her brows furrowed as flashes of a dangerous smog that obscured her already restricted sight came to life before her very eyes.

Her breathing quickening through the mask’s filters as she rushed through an unfamiliar bunker’s multiple corridors, passing body after body of people either unconscious or suffocated trying to reach the same destination she was now; the room that controls the ventilation system spewing out such vile poisons on the unsuspecting inhabitants of the bunker, an action she only believed the despicable late-Mistress of Poisons herself was capable of committing.

Wondering if she’d be too late to save the families, the noncombatants and imprisoned allies that resided in John’s Bunker. Including that of her fellow deputy and friend, Joey Hudson.

Only freezing when she came across the still and slumped body of a dark-haired woman wearing the familiar green vest she previously wore throughout the Sheriff’s Department.

Silva snapped herself out of the rumination of what amounted to traumatizing moment added in a mountain of bad memories in her life. Her decision to cut off Kamski from her life was completely justified.

Even if, admittedly, she hoped he was still doing well, even after everything.

But despite all the bad, she’d get a resurgence of something else; the light moments of cheers, the successes and speeches that empowered her with a hope she was afraid would slip away back then. She remembered celebrations that spread from Holland Valley to the Whitetail Mountains and all the way down into the Henbane River each time she helped liberate a region. She smiled with warmth at the moment Kim entrusted her with holding her blanketed goddaughter, knowing that, in spite of the brutality Silva’s put her hands through, she’d hold pequeña Carmina with loving tenderness.

And she remembered the exhilarated satisfaction upon clicking those cuffs over the wrists of Joseph Seed’s beaten form, this time with no cultists to get him out.

She felt the same with most of his siblings, especially his brothers, John and Jacob. The only exception to this victory was his last sibling…

Faith Seed. The reminder of her name sent a pleasant chill down her spine; like dainty soft fingers trailing up her stiff back.

Confronting her had been a tumultuous affair; fighting her wasn’t as easy as bringing down John, nor had she been as unrestrained in her violence when gunning for Jacob after Eli’s assassination.

She faltered when it came to Faith; the woman had that effect on her. Beginning all the way back to when she opened up to the woman during a moment of weakness. The fighting and war had brought back times she would rather leave forgotten. Unfortunately, Faith had been the only person present at the time to listen.

And call it foolish, but she felt as if Faith understood her, in a way that felt eerily similar to how she felt with Irene. And just like Irene, she felt as if she managed to understand Faith.

Tracey had wanted her dead, though. Just like Virgil had. Just like Silva herself was willing to do when Dutch saved her life.

Instead, in the end, she let her live; all because she played friends with her enemy. Grew closer to her. Felt things she shouldn’t have felt, especially with all Faith had done to hurt the people of the county with the weaponisation of her Bliss.

The fight had been long and brutal for both women, but eventually Silva managed to tire the Siren out.

Slapping the cuffs on Faith hadn’t felt as triumphant to Silva as she would have liked. Despite this, she felt more relieved that she hadn’t killed Faith; even if the decision costed her friendship with Tracey and skewered her reputation with some of the Cougars who were justifiably critical of her sparing Faith, especially with the grief of Virgil’s death on everyone’s minds.

Silva thought back to her final moments with Faith Seed in Hope County, escorting the herald to the police cruiser at Joseph’s Compound, signifying the end of their short time together. Their parting words a silent promise to reunite. She sighed though, shaking her head.

She hadn’t paid much attention to the proceeding of the trial, mostly because she hadn’t had the tools at her disposal to keep track; especially after what remained of Eden’s Gate performed one last “fuck you” to the Resistance after Joseph was arrested by screwing with power grid.

She heard that a couple people, mostly press, tried seeking her out, although the more worrisome was the legal team representing the Seed brothers. Probably sent by John, she’d hazard a guess. Thankfully Gavin cashed in a favour to keep any legal teams from wrangling her into a courtroom, giving her the chance to pack up and bail as soon as her stay in Hope County was no longer necessary.

It had been a rather long wait for Faith’s return. Silva wondered if the former herald would have forgiven her for leaving, if the press had been more insistent. Silva huffed at such thoughts. Why am I doing this to myself?

In spite of everything Faith had done, despite knowing what kind of person she was; Faith had affected her in a way that she hadn’t felt in a long time.

Her heart thrums at the thought of the other woman, which is something that had only ever been possible with Irene.

Silva had accepted the conclusion she spent too much time in the Bliss and had gone mad at some point. Unsurprising, considering her life.

Just as she returned to behind the counter, the bell rung once more, signalling the arrival of another customer entering her floristry.

Glancing back to get a glimpse of her newest customer, she only caught the end of a ponytail bob as her customer browsed from behind the large batch of flowers that sat on the table in the middle of the shop in pots for display.

With a raised brow, Silva went around her counter and decided to meet her customer on the other side of the display table.

She could hear light humming from the other side, something that scratched at her brain with an ignited eagerness. Silva slowed her steps as she took a breath. With the greeting recited in her head, she turned the corner of the room.

But words were lost on her tongue when she recognized who entered her shop; her only regular visitor. Here she was, with light brown hair tied in a ponytail, those alluring green eyes that inspected a tool Silva had left out.

Faith. Faith was here, came an excited thought. A bit early too, something that shouldn’t be the case. Strands of Faith’s light brown hair were dyed a lovely pink colour, and she had three small hoops pierced along her ear lobe. Her attire had long since been changed, replacing the dress Joseph passed down to her with a white button-up dress shirt, a brown jacket wrapped around her waist, in addition to grey jeans. And if any of Hope County’s residents were present in her shop now, they would have done a double-take at the fact Faith was wearing sneakers.

On her bare arms were two tattoos on each; on the left was a Bliss flower with vines spread across her appendage, the vines overlapping what used to be a tattoo of some kind of chemical component Silva hadn’t been capable of working out, and on the right was a bird; detailed and intricately designed to stand out. At first, Silva had thought it to be a dove surrounded by feathers, but when she got a closer look at it, later realized it was a phoenix emerging from flames.

However, her shock wore off and was replaced with curiosity, observing Faith who held her branch cutters with evident familiarity.

She watched as the cogs in Faith’s head seemed to turn, and swiftly felt abject horror as Faith brought her cutters to the stem of one of the flower buds of her nicer daffodils.

Without further hesitance, Silva finally spoke to deter Faith from her actions.

“What are you doing with that?” she questioned firmly.

Faith jumped at Silva’s unexpected voice, turning her head to fully face Silva.

The look on Faith’s face shifted from surprise to something more joyful and bright, a genuine grin spread across her lips.

That didn’t cease her grip on the branch cutters she held, causing the blades to pinch close together. Due to the angle Faith was carelessly holding the branch cutters in, the blades merely crushed the stem of the bud between the sharp blades instead of outright decapitating it.

The damage to her daffodils were enough to snap Silva out of her reverie of the other woman’s sudden appearance, and she rushed forward to save what she could of one of her shop’s selling products.

“Do you mind explaining what compelled you to do such a thing?” She questioned Faith as she effortlessly removed the cutters from the Seed sister’s hand, keeping it far from her damaged daffodils and Faith herself.

Faith merely pouted in response, though her focus appeared to be on what Silva was wearing.

It was easy to understand why though; Faith had only ever known Silva to wear the most practical of attire like the deputy’s uniform, a preference that was rooted in pragmatism born from survival, as such clothing left room for manoeuvrability, especially during emergencies like the Reaping. Even in Maryland, Faith rarely saw Silva dabble in more traditionally feminine clothing.

Honestly, if Faith had chosen to drop by now just to see the former deputy in her working apparel, then Silva would have to commend her, as her floristry was just about the only time she ever wore dresses.

Though from the way Faith was eyeing her, Silva could tell that the former herald was not unappreciative of such change. Likewise for Silva, as she glanced appreciatively down Faith’s tattooed arms.

But ogling could come later.

Silva raised of an expectant brow, which shook Faith out of her daze, smiling sheepishly, “Sorry, force of habit from tending to the Bliss flowers. We usually cut off the smaller buds as to ensure the seeds from the bigger ones could pass on to the next batch.”

Silva cradled the pot of her injured daffodils close to her chest, tenderly nudging the limp bud with her fingers, pointedly looking at Faith as she replied, “Your Bliss flowers were a selectively manufactured crop engineered for multiple purposes in Eden’s Gate, illicit drug potency notwithstanding. My daffodils are meant to look pretty and be sold.”

Shaking her head, she couldn’t help but snort.

“Not even a few minutes unsupervised in my shop and you’ve attempted to kill my business.”

Faith huffed and rolled her gorgeous green eyes, crossing her arms as she stated, “You’re being as dramatic as John-”

“Please don’t compare me to that brother-”

“-and I only partially damaged one flower,” Faith playfully pouted, “Besides, I thought you’d be happier to see me.”

Silva lips tugged into small smile, though, as she made her way back to the store’s counter, she did ask, “Speaking of which, why are you back home so early? No, better question; how did you manage to slip out of work this time?”

“Got a lunch break after a particularly long session inking a certain client,” Faith stated as she followed Silva to the counter, leaning forwards on the top as she added, “I probably have less than ten minutes here, roughly, before I need to head back.”

Placing the potted daffodils onto the countertop, Silva brought her gaze solely on the woman before her. Opening the draw underneath her counter, she asked while reaching inside, “And where is your lunch, might I ask?”

Faith paused, then grinned sheepishly, wringing at her wrists as she admitted, “Well, I kind of forgot about it on the rush here…”

“What luck-” Silva remarked dryly, to which Faith mirthlessly chuckled in response. Only for Silva to pull out a contained from the counter draws, finishing with, “-that you’re just in time to have a share of mine.”

Opening the lid, Silva revealed the contents that were separated in three distinct sections; one was wide enough to fit the crispy patatas bravas, with the remaining sections small yet sizeable enough to fit the sliced-up peaches and, best of all, la mantecados.

Faith’s green eyes brightened immediately upon noticing the small cakes, and without a moment hesitation, snagged herself one.

Silva removed the gloves from her hands, the scarred texture spread intricately across her palms and on the back of her hands, the burns starting from the tips of her fingers, all around and down to just a little over her wrists, an unending reminder of a childhood cut too short.

She picked herself out a peach slice, the cool sensation jolting a signal through her sensitive nerves, as she watched Faith’s face grow in delight upon munching on the mantecados. She took a bite out of her peach slice, humming in satisfaction as the fruit’s sweetness.

“I owe you one,” Faith stated after swallowing the cinnamon cake, adding, “I owe you… a lot, actually. If you want, I could get you a freebie tattooing, or even say, take you out to that place you like…”

Seeing Faith trail her words out, Silva tenderly reached her free hand grasp Faith’s unoccupied hand, grounding the other woman. The sensation of her hand over her partner’s tingled at her scarred nerves, but she found she didn’t mind it.

Grey and green mirrored each other, a soft smile tugging at Silva’s lips as she replied, “I’d like any one of those. Just as long as you’re here with me.”

Faith let out a little ‘heh’ as she glanced from Silva’s face to their interlocked hands. Letting out an exhale, she returned a smile to Silva, thumb gently grazing over her flor de loto’s scarred knuckles.

A physical reminder of a time before Silva met her, and by extension her brothers. It was something Silva wasn’t ready to tell Faith about just yet. But that was for a different day.

“Yeah,” Faith replied, fingers relaxing in Silva’s trusting grip, echoing, “Of course.”

[04tenno]

Listen to me.

Funny little yuppie

Considered very handsome and "moderate"; capacity for violence is underestimated, as such

Psychological issues, erratic behavior, at least semi-unprompted extreme emotional reactions

Has a secretary who is implied to have feelings for him

Has no interest in his female partners

Hates nearly all of his colleagues

Kills one of said colleagues

Specific murder method of beheading

Shares many of the same interests (baseball, American whiskey, working out, dining at expensive restaurants, acts of torture, etc.)

Sound familiar?

Either way, I'll let you in on a little secret: making comparisons between Patrick Bateman and Yoshitaka Mine shouldn't be about making either of them out to be Cool or Scary or Intriguing. It should be about the bit.

It should be about being able to say Mine WOULD have a routine that can only be explained by him having an excess of executive function. It should be about being able to say Mine WOULD seethe over minor (some would say imperceptible) differences in color and font choices between everyone's business cards. And it should be about being able to say Mine WOULD pop a boner at a U2 concert.

[not-gray-politics]

can we also talk about how without fail all of these arguments are almost always weaponized against minority creators representing themselves in their media. It does not escape me that every time the internet bandwagons on hating something and calling the writing and art direction bad, the creator is a queer person writing queer characters, a woman writing for other women and girls, a poc writing for other poc, or a combination of the three. Everyone acts like that's not the "REAL reason" they hate that piece of media, but after the 50th time, I think we can all see right through it. When I see someone jumping onto a hate bandwagon, I always want to ask.. Did you even watch/play/read it? Or did you just listen to someone else's opinions on it and make them your own? If you did experience the media yourself, did you go into it having already formed a bad opinion of it? In getting involved with the online discourse around it, did you listen to ANY positive opinions on it, or do you just block out/send hate to anyone who enjoys it because it makes you feel morally superior? Think about it. Seriously, whoever's reading this, go reflect on that. Think about the piece of media YOU specifically don't like and ask yourself these questions. Dig into it.

You want more minority representation in media but if they have flaws its problematic and if theyre perfect theyre a patronizing mary sue. If they crack under the pressure of the conflict the author thinks that minority is weak and if they overcome the adversity they must be a neoliberal bootlicker who thinks real world bigotry is a matter of personal attitude. You want minority characters but if theyre a villain its violently problematic and if theyre the protagonist then we circle back to the very first sentence. If theyre a side character theyre being sidelined and the author is once again bigoted, and don't you know that every single minority character death is unilaterally bigoted, without exception? You want more minority characters but if their identity is a big part of their personality or struggles then they're problematic and if their identity has nothing to do with their personality or struggles then the author is tokenizing that identity for clout. You want more minority characters but every time theres a minority character who doesnt have every single experience that you have then you tell the author to kill themselves on twitter. You wonder why not even minority authors will write minority characters.

I would ask you to read Catch-22, but you'd just call the military base problematic.

[meowse]

That AMA marks the end of Dragon Age.

In my opinion.

I'll start by saying that I have played all 3 of the previous games repeatedly, I've loved the series for 15 years, more than half my life. These games inspired me to become a writer and they've shaped a lot of my tastes and interests in shows and writing -- to say they were formative is kind of an understatement. Don't want to go on and on about how much I loved them, that's not the point here.

I didn't care for Veilguard for pretty much all of the reasons people have already discussed at length on Reddit and Tumblr. The writing is comprehensively bad, the romances are easily the worst Bioware has written by pure virtue of having the most cookie-cutter pacing and shallow characterization I've seen across their games, the lore has been shafted in every direction, and the nuanced storytelling and roleplay I came to expect from the series has been taken out back and shot in the head.

All, apparently, in the name of a "clean slate". It seems to me that, rather than familiarizing himself with the existing lore of the game he took the creative reins on, Epler clearly had a vision for Dragon Age (or perhaps a different IP entirely) in his head that he decided to transplant into the game (and possibly Trick? But they've said so little beyond defending their work that I can hardly theorize what direction they were coming from). That being a sanitized, wildly self-contradicting, morally absolute shitshow focused on distancing itself from the previous games as much as possible. Now, I know it's unrealistic to blame one person entirely, and I don't blame him entirely. Corinne was there. Trick was there.

But if it wasn't already evident from the numerous interviews Epler's given on the game as well as his participation in the Q&A's (while the actual lead writer of the game has been completely absent in not just the marketing, but in most fan-related interaction pre and post-launch outside of BSKY), this AMA seems to have confirmed, more than anything else, that Epler doesn't understand the game nor does he understand its audience. Neither does Corinne Busche, who despite being Game Director for only the last two years of development, has been answering lore questions a) like she has any fucking clue and b) like she thinks Dragon Age is a cozy-gamer IP, meant to appeal to people that want uplifting stories with uncontroversial characters, morally upright heroes, and unquestionably evil villains.

So as of today's AMA, I think I've finally had enough. We're just outright retconning the lore in Reddit AMA's now, I guess. Among other things. I'll provide a few examples, just so we're all on the same page.

This was part of Epler's response to why Solas didn't have his cult following in the game (insert "We Kind of Forgot" meme here):

Solas' experience leading the rebellion against the Evanuris turned him against the idea of being a leader. You see it in the memories - the entire experience of being in charge ate at him and, ultimately, convinced him he needed to do this on his own. And his own motivations were very different from the motivations of those who wanted to follow him - he had no real regard for their lives or their goals. So at some point between Trespasser and DATV, he severed that connection with his 'followers' and went back to being a lone wolf.

The fact that this (the not caring bit) directly contradicts the writing in the actual game is absolutely INSANE to me, moreso than the lack of Solas's spy network (which he apparently carried with him for 10 years only to conveniently drop right before the ritual? Because he clearly had them research Rook?). But in regards to the not caring -- here's a line from Solas's memory of killing Mythal in Veilguard, which. I'll get to Mythal in a minute:

Why should I not tear down the Veil, and bring back immortality to all the elven people? They deserve it!

Which is it? Does Solas care about the people he's saving (the venn diagram of people he's saving vs. the people following him is surely a circle, i.e. elves) or not? Does he even care about the spirits trapped behind the Veil anymore or is it just convenient to abandon them and have him only care about elves, now? What happened to saving The People? What happened to him not identifying as an elf in his conversations with a Dalish Inquisitor? And what the absolute fuck happened to him wanting to bring back the magical marvels (that the ancient elves did in fact achieve) that were greater than anything we see in Thedas today? Here's what Epler has to say about elven magic, now:

I do agree that the elves have had their place in the sun at this point. [...] The thing about the Evanuris is that, ultimately, they were able to take a very specific type of magic and shape it into doing what they wanted. But even their understanding of magic was only skin deep [...] Even the magic that Tevinter wields, the magic of the Southern mages, is different from what the Evanuris used. The magic of the Evanuris is powerful but it's sterile, and it's constrained. So while the Evanuris have made magic work in a way that's more predictable and understandable, it's not the only kind of magic out there, and even then, I'd say they understood it at a very surface level. People were confidently describing how the natural world worked back in the 16th century. Very few of them were right.

First of all, Tevinter has been stated in previous games to have clumsily adapted ancient elven magic for their own, but they did adapt it. To the point where even Solas is surprised that Corypheus achieved effective immortality -- by binding himself to a dragon the same way the Evanuris did. So, cool, more contradicting the lore here. "They understood it at a very surface level" you mean when all of the magic of the Fade wasn't locked behind the Veil? You mean when magic flowed freely through the world? What do you mean, Surface Fucking Level? The entire point of the Dalish elf culture is what they lost; this wasn't the ancient elves thinking the sun revolved around the earth, the Veil was their fucking Library of Alexandria burning. Oh my god. I still cannot believe he said this.

And how have the elves had their day in the sun? I'm sorry, was Arlathan not given to... the Veil Jumpers? Instead of the Dalish? What happened to all the Dalish clans in the south, who had no infrastructure when the world was apparently blighted to hell? I guess they're just gone now! They've had their day! The story of the Dalish and the Evanuris is over (also confirmed in this AMA), and it apparently ends with the final snuff of the candle that is their culture. Congratulations, Chantry, you've won! Only took two genocides and a double blight, but we're done with the Dalish now! We get your mind-numbingly superficial factions instead!

What happened to Mythal, by the way? What happened to "She was betrayed as I was betrayed, as the world was betrayed! Mythal clawed and crawled her way through the ages to me, and I will see her avenged!" What happened to the reckoning that will shake the very heavens? John's answer to this:

People grow and change over time. Mythal's essence - and in particular, the fragment of her spirit that Morrigan carries, that she got from Flemeth - is not the same Mythal who he knew millennia ago. Centuries of living in this world and being around the kinds of people Flemeth found herself around - the Hero of Ferelden, Hawke, the Inquisitor - changed her views, and made her realize her own culpability in turning Solas into the kind of person he is now.

Oh, right, okay. So she was pissed for like a thousand years, got her big speech about the impending "reckoning" out 10 years ago, and then she just chilled out because the last 3 heroes were neat people. What a fucking joke. And yes, here is the confirmation that the Evanuris story is over --

The story of the Evanuris is done - the gods are dead (or imprisoned) and Thedas is in a state of flux and uncertainty. I imagine that whatever happens next is going to be a surprise to everyone, including the people of Thedas."

So I guess Mythal's reckoning is never coming. One of the most fascinating characters in the series, shrouded in mystery for those first 3 games, PROMISING US a blaze of glory, only to fizzle out in this one. Again, and I can't emphasize this enough, for Epler's clean fucking slate. And we've not just tied up her story, but also the Veil and the Blight:

When Solas bound himself (or, depending on your ending, was forcibly bound) to the Veil, it severed the connection that the Blight had to the waking world. The reality is that the Veil has been leaking ever since the Magisters first entered the Black City, and the dreams of the Titans gave it its terrible and awesome power. Now that the Veil is fully repaired, the Blight lacks that motive force, and being so close to the epicenter of that change has stripped the Blight in Minrathous of its vitality. It's calcified now - dead - and Bellara/Neve no longer suffer its effects. If they'd been anywhere else, further from that epicenter, it would've likely been different and they still would be looking for a cure.

So the Veil is permanently fixed now because our half-dead Dread Wolf bound himself to it (a decision I still don't understand) and that somehow fixed every single hole ever poked in it. Fully repaired. No more holes, no more "Veil is thin here" because tons of people died in the same spot, nope, we're washing our hands and leaving it (and the spirits) behind us because we've wrapped up both the series-long Veil storyline and the blight storyline in a big red bow.

And Epler tells us Solas not only bound himself to the Veil but fixed it entirely in one fell swoop, no ritual required, just a little slice to the hand. Again, all in the name of a clean slate, so any future installments or media centered around Thedas can turn away from this story.

Then there's this. What we can expect from future installments, I freaking guess. The aforementioned roleplay getting taken out back and shot:

Q: "What lead you to the decision to step away from active conversations with the companions as in previous Bioware games, where you can initiate them at any moment and ask exhaustive questions?"

John: "For us, because of tech limitations, it became a choice between exhaustive investigate conversations, or letting the companions move more freely around the Lighthouse. With the kind of experience we were going for, one where seeing the team grow around you is paramount, we felt that seeing them interact in common spaces (and in each other's rooms) made more sense."

Literally confirmed that they chose companions moving freely about the cabin over ... interacting with them outside the handful of cutscenes we got. Who in their right mind would think this was a good call in a Dragon Age game? A series that quite literally prides itself on complex character interactions and storytelling? So they could... sit in different places? Are you kidding me?

They don't see an issue with the game's reception. They don't have any interest in addressing or responding to criticism. They're either happy with their choices or EA's got a gun pointed at their heads, I'm honestly not sure anymore. I used to believe the latter was true, but looking at both Epler's and Busche's responses today, I'm inclined to believe the former.

So I think that's it for the series. Not that I thought it was going to get another game after this, but on the absolute off chance it did, what would be the point? The best stories were ruined. Anything left they have to tell is going to read a lot like Veilguard -- superficial, morally absolute, flagrantly disrespectful to the lore, and delivered in a very poorly written package.

[pinkmoonastro]

The 12 houses explained: short word format

1st: Aries, Mars, Yang, Dragon, Bee, Face, Eyes, Eyebrows, Voice, Accent, First Glance, Passion, Drive, Self Esteem, 3rd Eye, Intuition, Hard on yourself, Mutable, Patience, Leader, Stoic, Muscles, Neck/Head tension, Animals, Intensity, Head scarf, Tender headed, Attracting energy vampires, Hard headed, Red, Purple, Sexual energy, Humor, Introvert/extrovert, Fear of child baring because loss of freedom, Judgement, Lymph nodes, Guitar, Fast talker, Sharp talker, Forward thinking, Warrior, Personality, Spine...

2nd: Taurus, Venus, Yin, Panda, Neck/Throat, Throat chakra, Mouth, Thyroid, Heart, Pink, Blue, Fluid, Security, Resources, Musician, Silent, Introvert, Nose, Scent, Taste, Parent, Singing, Arms, Dancing, Food, Breeze, Partnership, Sharing, Values, Luxury, Pleasure, Easy going, Soft spoken, Naivety, Split decisions, Indecisive, Moon, Father, Sturdy, Poker face, Children, Trustworthy, Grit, Victory, Horses, Trials...

3rd: Gemini, Mercury, Yin/Yang, Jack Rabbit, Hands, Feet, Speech, Tongue, Lungs, Fast pace, Exercise, excitement, Bounce back, Joy, Vigor, Youth, Fidget, Anxiety, Habits, Expressive, Musician, Storyteller, School, Journalist, Moral system, Networking, Group, Siblings, Questioning, Stocks/trading, Choices, Dedication, Picky, Options, Dare Devil, Flirt, Long lasting, Hopes, Trees/Forest, Art, Comedian, Chances, Materials, Time, Loyal, Boundaries, ...

4th: Cancer, Moon, Yin, Owl, Family, Mother, Compassion, Creation, Birth, Life, Regret, Sleep, Nipple, Breast, Anus, Stomach, Womb, Bellybutton, Heart, Sacral, Blue, White, Yellow, Ocean, Cold, Night, Cycle, Fly on the wall, Unspoken secrets, Pores, Suicide, Whispers, Distracted, Outsider, Alchemy, Caregiver, Chef, Guidance, Critical, Teeth, Passage/Gateway, Humming, Drums, Weight on your back, Pressures, Gratefulness, Gratitude, Obedience, Horse, Animals, Words that cut...

5th: Leo, Sun, Yang, Lion, Spine, Heart, Pets, Fun, Youthful, Children, Love affairs, Expression, Dance, Gymnastics, Loud, Bright colors, Short trips, Friends, Aunts/Uncles, Get togethers, Cars, Innovative, Actor, Protection, Magician, Gardening, Gossip, Alchemy, Adulthood, Relaxing, Bonding, Self destruction, Slick words, Hard work, Spotlight, Sharing, Rebuilding, Clothing, Renewed vision, Drawing board, Companionship, Grounding...

6th: Virgo, Mercury, Yin, Ant, Crane, Praying Mantis, Work environment, Routine, Structure, Time, Patience, Health issues, Hygiene, Nervous system, digestive system, Pancreas, Gallbladder, Notebooks, Writing, Movies, Home, Relaxing, Forgiving, Generous, Social Life, Bonding, Practice, Foresight, Letting go, Stable, Helpful, Tense, Pressure, Negative thoughts, Reminisce, Addiction, Sorrow, Indecision, Indigestion, Saving Finances, Strong will, Codependency, Maturing, Realizing, Criticism, Self Honoring...

7th: Libra, Venus, Yin, Dragon Fly, Peacock, Marraige, Partnership, Contracts, Joint endeavors, Kidneys, Bladder, Blood, Caring what others think, Voice, Accent, Culture, Rebuilding, Learning new ways to do, Home decor, Learning gratitude, Giving, Reseveing, Welcome home, Comfort, Jot, Warmth, Spring, Flowers, New thought processes, Building Legacy, Defending yourself, Possessions, Slower living, Connecting to nature, Center of attention...

8th: Scorpio, Pluto, Mars, Yin/Yang, Vulture, Jaguar, Phoenix Death/Rebirth, Fears, Dark, Dreams, Escaping, Running, Hoarding, Lack, Homelessness, Strength, Stamina, Restart, Hard work paying off, Legacy, Against all odds, Elimination system, Pelvis, All the holes in the body, Burgundy, Purple, Black, Sex organs, Releasing worries, Manipulation, Smothering, Misunderstood, Coffee, Over giving, Partnership, Friendship, Sensuality, Secretion, Body odor, Roses, Fruit trees, Chapel, Railroad, Balancing, Power, Unseen forces, Intimidation, Relaxation...

9th: Sagittarius,Jupiter, Yang, Donkey, Whale, Shark, Liver, Legs, Posture, Religion, Long distance, Foreign travel, New ideas, Creative thoughts, Energy, Witty, Nomad, Idealistic, Larger than life, Focused on success, Friendship, Gatherings, Social Life, Relaxing, Luxury, Boundaries, Tired, Mental Illness, Restrictions, Insecurities, Grandparents, Quiet time, Relationships, Sharing, Attention, Harmony, Rebirth, Hard work, Getting over, Time, Late night thoughts, Male role model, Weight on your back, Responsibilities, Greedy, Guarded, Proud, Protection, Unique, Lavender...

10th: Capricorn, Saturn, Yang, Sheep, Alligator Honey Badger, Cactus, Sterile, Marble, White, Grey, Cold, Winter, Snow, Reputation, Social status, Farming, Popularity, Bones, Skin, Nails, Hair, Sharp, Leather, Goat, Structure, Skin conditions, Over explaining, Hard on others/yourself, Violin, Holding onto the past, Hard choices, Seeing others happen, Collecting, Finding purpose, Unique interest, Creative ways to make money, Standing up for yourself, Tunnel vision, Sharing, Networking, Group efforts, Working on love...

11th: Aquarius, Uranus, Yin/Yang, Moose, Mongoose, Snake, Friends, Parties, Organizations, Goals, Hopes, School, Science, mutable, unique style, Different friend groups, Water, Lakes, Rivers, Driving, Circulatory System, Pituitary glands, Changing course, Fear of change, Social media, Learning to stand alone, Trusting intuition, Defending loved ones, nonchalant, Increasing expectations, Std, Dead tree, Sticking it out, Elders, Community, Taking a stand, Protest, Elections, Politics, Numbers, Releasing restrictions...

12th: Pisces, Neptune, Yin, Fish, Birds, Friends, More to go around, Letting go, Releasing Past, Decor, Eye for style, Luxury, Opinionated, Energy field, Subconscious, Mountains, Fog, Spa, Skincare, Hygiene, Safety, Frienemies, Luck, Protection, Unprovided jealously, Foreign, Secret, Being watched, Self expression, Confidence, Talents, Anxiety, Depression, Breath, Dreams, Sleeping, Ufc/boxing, Always wanting more, Magician, Plants, Sunshine, Exotic, Target, Maturity, Completion...

[phoenixrisingastro]

𝕷𝖎𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖎𝖓 𝖘𝖞𝖓𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖗𝖞: 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖘 𝖞𝖔𝖚'𝖑𝖑 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖌𝖊𝖙 𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖓 𝖎𝖋 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖉

Some lovers are fleeting. Some are safe. And then… there’s Lilith.

When Lilith touches a planet in synastry, the relationship is no longer “normal.” It becomes forbidden, intoxicating, magnetic, and destructive. It’s the affair you never admit to. The obsession that lingers even when they’re gone. The lover that carves their name into your body without ever touching you.

This isn’t about “love.” It’s about possession. Power. Lust. Taboo. The kind of connection that exposes every hidden desire you were too afraid to admit you had. And once you’ve tasted it?

You’ll never be the same..

Lilith Conjunct the Sun ☀️ – They Burn Themselves Into Your Identity

They don’t just admire you; they absorb you. Their presence threatens your sense of self because suddenly, they are the center of your world. They worship your power, your ego, your existence itself. But the more they love you, the more they want to own you.

And that’s what makes it dangerous. You’ll never feel more desired—but you’ll also never feel more exposed.

Lilith Conjunct the Moon 🌙 – The Emotional Addiction That Wrecks You

This is the ultimate heartbreaker aspect. They see into your soul in a way that feels almost supernatural. There are no boundaries here—your emotions are raw, primal, uncontrollable.

You’ll feel haunted by their presence even when they’re gone. You’ll dream of them. Smell them on strangers. Hear their voice in every love song.

This isn’t just emotional intimacy—it’s emotional ruin.

Lilith Conjunct Mercury 🧠 – The Mind Game You’ll Never Escape

Their words drip with seduction. Their voice feels like a spell you can’t break. Conversations with them aren’t just talk—they’re foreplay, battlefields, and confessions all at once.

They’ll say things that linger in your mind for years. And the worst part? They know exactly what they’re doing.

Lilith Conjunct Venus 💋 – The Lover That Ruins You for Everyone Else

They are your darkest fantasy. The forbidden pleasure you can’t resist. There’s an undeniable pull, an attraction so strong it feels like fate—or punishment.

Sex isn’t just sex here. It’s a ritual. A sacrifice. A rebirth. And even when they leave, you’ll still feel them in your skin.

Lilith Conjunct Mars 🔥 – The Lust That Feels Like War

This is f*cking, not making love. The kind of chemistry that makes you forget your name, your morals, your goddamn dignity.

Fights turn into sex. Jealousy turns into obsession. You bring out the animal in each other. And when it’s over? You’ll both be bruised—but you’ll still crawl back for more.

Lilith Conjunct Pluto ☠️ – The One Who Controls You Without Saying a Word

This isn’t a relationship. It’s a power struggle. They don’t just enter your life—they infiltrate it. They learn your fears, your weaknesses, your hidden desires—and they use them against you.

You don’t love them. You worship them. You hate them. You can’t live without them.

And you’ll never be free.

Lilith Synastry: The Aftermath

No one walks away from a Lilith synastry connection unscathed.

You don’t just move on. You remember them in your bones. In the way your body reacts to certain songs, in the way you still flinch when someone whispers your name like they did.

They become your darkest secret. And your most beautiful regret.

So if you find yourself drawn into a Lilith synastry connection…

Just know—you’re not choosing them.

They’re choosing you.

And you will never be the same..

[grey-spark]

COLOR THEORY in WIND BREAKER

So there are FIVE COLORS that stand out in Wind Breaker. And while the show displays a full use of colors, there are five colors that transcend any individual person or gang. And in this quick analysis I'm going to go over all of them. (Mild Spoilers ahead)

GREEN is the color of GROWTH

Green is the main color of Bofurin and clearly represents plants. It all ties into Umemiya's garden metaphor about personal growth.

Green = Good, basically.

The plant imagery is not very subtle but some of the color uses are. Take for example how Togame, Nagato and Endo all have green eyes, hinting that these are actually good characters underneath despite doing bad deeds. They may be on different teams but they're "Bofurin on the inside". (Although, in Endo's case his eyes have a blueish hue, which means his goodness is very hidden.)

If plants represent the goodness of the world then we must extend this metaphor to the source of the plant's energy...

YELLOW is the color of WARMTH

Yellow represents the warm light piercing into a cold world, and the sun more generally. It's righteousness and love.

Nirei is the most yellow indicating he's the moral compass of the gang, but Oldman Ito outright points out that all three main characters wear yellow: Suo's earing. Nirei's hair. Sakura's eye. (saying it reminds him of the sun directly). But its interesting how the applications of this color reflect their story arcs:

Suo was given righteousness. Nirei adopted righteousness. Sakura was born with it.

Sakura can't take the yellow off even if he wanted to. But beyond that we have Sakura's favorite food Omurice. In a show where food is everything, the omelet rice almost serves as his first taste of love. Notice how it also has red ketchup on it, and Suo's earrings also have a red bead. In this show, red and yellow almost always go together. When put together they makes orange, the color of strong Shishitoren. It's a subtle way of saying love creates...

RED is the color of POWER

Red is the fruit of power. Or let's put it this way:

Sun -> Plants -> Fruit Love -> Growth -> Power

Red is a color with many different meanings, but in this show, its the color of power. We see it in Ume's tomatoes. We see it in Tsubaki's lipstick, which he outright says is the source of his strength.

But not just creative power. In Takiishi's case, red also represents the destructive power of fire. Red represents all power, and it makes sense why its the main color of Suo, a character who hasn't even taken a single hit. But plants and fruit are not the only thing sunlight effects, it also melts ice...

WHITE is the color of TRAUMA

More specifically, traumatized innocence.

White = the harsh snow of winter.

In the very first chapter, Nirei's suggests Sakura's hair turned white from stress. It's played off as a joke at first, but later on it's suggested that Umemiya's hair also went white from stress. This feature connects them deeply, both wear white shirts too, symbolizing Sakura and Ume wear their trauma for all to see.

White is also the main color of Gravel, a team with the most tragic backstory, comprised of children starving to death. (KEEL also wears white, but in their case it feels like they're deliverers of trauma.) In the anime, we also see that Gravel's school uniforms are...

BLUE is the color of COLDNESS

Blue is the color of icy callousness and hardened hearts. Unlike sunlight that melts trauma, blue is the cold that generates it.

Blue = Evil, kinda.

But it's a little more complicated than that. Sure, all the evilest characters wear blue, like KEEL (the evilest gang) and Endo (who has a blue fire theme). But then we have Sugishita, who isn't an evil person at all, but its also not a coincidence that the hero's main rival has a blue color scheme. His heart is guarded, and is in need of the most character growth out of all of them. Concerningly, we also saw that Suo turned icy blue when he reverted to his old ways. So blue is not just limited to the bad guys. It's a systemic problem.

CONCLUSION

This show has MANY colors in it: pink, orange, black, grey, magenta and so many others that might also have meanings as well. But I feel like these five pervade the show everywhere and build a greater allegory of Winter Vs Spring, which goes as follows:

The freezing cold (blue/callousness) has created snow (white/trauma) and can only be banished by sunlight (yellow/love) which grows vegetation (green/growth) and eventually bears fruit. (red/power)

That's how I see it anyway. Thanks for reading!

[heartlilith]

Venus - What Makes You Attractive

Aries Venus: Your bold attitude. Being unapologetically yourself. Your strength. The fact that you'll do anything once. Straightforwardness. Confidence. Your style, you're not afraid to experiment. Knowing what you want and getting it. Carefree attitude.

Taurus Venus: Your mannerisms. The way you move, like a dancer. Your reliability. Independence and work ethic. Your loyalty and devotedness. The way you take care of yourself and others. Your strong morals and values.

Gemini Venus: Your intellect and curiosity. Being laidback and worry free. Childlike wonder. Your humor and open-mindedness. The way your eyes light up when you talk about the things you love. Your ability to teach and listen to others.

Cancer Venus: Your softness and femininity. Your emotional and nurturing nature. Leading with your heart. Vulnerability. The way you stand up for the people you love. Having a heart of gold. Caring about others. Your unconditional love.

Leo Venus: Your style and confidence. Your creativity. Knowing what you want. Showing just how much you love someone or something. Your unwavering loyalty. Being effortlessly yourself. Making others feel good about themselves. Being thoughtful.

Virgo Venus: Helping others, being selflesss. Being intellectually stimulating and not afraid to debate with others. Knowing your shit. Having your priorities in order. Generosity. Maturity. Your clean girl aesthetic. Always looking "clean".

Libra Venus: Being sweet and kind. Your femininity. Being effortlessly beautiful. Your social media. How you love love. The way you put yourself first. Being the friend people call for advice. Your childlike disposition. Creativity.

Scorpio Venus: Being trustworthy and devoted. Having depth and the ability to talk about deep/dark things. Your wonder. Your authenticity. Mysteriousness. Loyalty. Being a vault for other people's secrets. Being magnetic. Your sultriness.

Sagittarius Venus: Your always doing something fun. Your humor and generosity. Being a good time. Not taking things too seriously. Your honesty and straight forwardness. Having a lot of friends or having friends that love you. Always up for trying something different.

Capricorn Venus: Your drive and ambition. Being successful and smart. Coming across as being put together. Maturity. Your taste. Your independence and not needing anyone. Having goals. The way you invest in yourself. Your deep sense of responsibility.

Aquarius Venus: Being non judgmental. Your intellect and relaxed attitude. Being a good time. Your ability to talk about anything. Your authenticity. Being different and loving it. The way you perceive things. Your skills.

Pisces Venus: Your compassion. The way you love animals. Your ethereal beauty. Being kind and thoughtful. Being a dreamer. Loving love. Your need for a connection like no other. The way you're a safe place. The way you show people how much you love them. Your innocence.

SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON FOR MORE

MASTERLIST

[tiyawnyana]

hi!! can you write sevika x younger reader where the reader is like 22-24 and sevika feels this dread one day realizing that she actually does like this woman despite their (moral) age gap and even wants to take things further which usually doesn't happen for her (also having a hard time telling the reader her feelings or anyone for that matter)

bonus points if the reader is a bartender or something at The Last Drop!

I hope this is an interesting enough request

Thank you for the request!!! I had so much fun diving into drinks and their meanings ahhsdmdm

A/N: slowly chipping away at some of these but I've never felt more pleased doing these

Characters: Sevika x Young Bartender!Fem Reader

Warnings: alcohol drinking

Minors DNI

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Apricot Fizz

The first time Sevika noticed you was when you were leaving Silco's office with a pep to your step unfitting to Zaun- especially in The Last Drop.

She remembers the glint in your eye- eager and energetic with a flush to your cheeks. You were young. Too much of an age gap for her eyes to linger as long as they did.

She was surprised to see that you had actually landed the job as the bartender- the second time she had noticed you.

She ignored you, deciding not to get a drink that night- or the next few nights.

Your energy was a lot. Almost too much- you almost had a crowd gathering around the bar, people eager to get even a moment of your time.

Sevika had grown restless, needing a drink after a great game of cards. She finds herself almost nervous, for whatever reason, but nonetheless approaches the bar after the slight crowd simmers down.

She puts out her cigarillo, exhaling the last bit of smoke when your hand comes into view, sliding an orange drink in a beer glass in her direction.

“The hell is this?” She huffs, bringing her gaze up to yours.

Your cheeks are flushed as you make another drink for another customer,”Saw you comin’ up, haven't gotten you a drink this week so didn't know what you liked-”

“Beer,” she mutters, eyeing the glass in question,”or whiskey.”

You nod, a sheepish smile on your lips,”Sorry- I can take this-”

She waves her hand, clasping the class in her hand as she eyes the liquid,”Not gonna waste alcohol,” she mutters before taking a sip.

The fruity drink explodes on her tongue, slightly sour with a flavor of orange beneath the lemon. She was surprised, couldn't even taste the alcohol. She eyes it in confusion.

You giggle softly,”It's a cocktail,” you respond with a grin,”They're dangerous, the alcohol sneaks up on ya.”

Sevika nods in silence, sipping it again before turning around to face the rest of the bar. She could feel a flush beneath her skin that she quickly stifled- She couldn't think of you like that.

The next few nights, you slide a variation of beer and whiskeys to her across the bar.

You manage to get idle chit chat from her on occasion and she slowly allows you to break down one of her millions of walls.

“What was that first drink you gave me- from the first time you served me?” Sevika finds herself wondering after a few beers and another gambling win.

“Oh! The orange one?”

Sevika nods as she sips her beer.

“Apricot fizz,” you respond as you clean out a glass.

Sevika watches you with a deadpan look on her face,”How did you learn to make that? I thought this was your first bartending gig?”

“It is,” you hum, quickly stepping to the side to refill a customer's beer before coming back to her,”I have a whole book about different drinks to make and their ‘meanings’.”

She watches you shake your head, then exhales,”Drinks and their meanings?” She echoes, a scowl on her lips.

You laugh softly, nodding at her confusion as you clean another glass.

“What does the beer mean, then?”

Your gaze connects with hers and she watches as a warmer blush covers your cheeks,”Uh- from what I remember it has less of a meaning and more so like- a symbol of community and celebration.”

She watches you speak with your hands, finding it an endearing trait of yours.

“What about the other one?”

You swallow, averting your gaze as you struggle to come up with an answer, already knowing it,”I'd have to read that one again, I don't quite recall.”

She hums at your response, gaze narrowed but otherwise drops it. She finishes her beer before tapping her glass,”I'll take one of those, then.”

You nod with a small smile on your lips as you take her glass and replace it with the cocktail.

Her hand brushes yours and she swears she feels something electric buzz beneath her skin.

She ignores it again, looking away from you despite how much she wants to let her gaze linger.

It's another night at The Last Drop, one of the slower nights much to your surprise.

You're cleaning off the counters and glasses when you hear the door open. Sevika strides in with Ran right behind her, who splits off to play pool with one of their friends.

You circle the bar as she walks up to order a drink. She looks disheveled, tired.

“You alright?” You murmur softly as she sits on one of the stools across from you.

Sevika grunts, her prosthetic arm coming to rest on the bar,”I'm fine.”

You nod, dropping it,”Want a beer?”

She shrugs, resting her chin in her hand,”Surprise me.”

You gawk at her in surprise for a moment before nodding, thinking of another drink she could try.

She watches as you work, nose scrunching as you add cherries on a toothpick to lay on top the rim of the cocktail glass.

You slide it over to her, a burgundy orange color.

“What's this one?” She murmurs, picking up the toothpick and biting one of the cherries off.

“It's called the Rob Roy,” you speak fondly, cleaning out a glass a customer leaves on the counter.

She raises a brow, lifting it to take a sip before humming as she takes in the smoky feel on her tongue.

“I don't remember what this one means either,” you smile sheepishly, gaze averted.

“You should reread that book of yours, then,” she teases before quickly drinking the rest of it. “Got any others up your sleeve?” She murmurs, sliding the glass your way.

You grin, thinking for a moment before nodding and making her another.

You slide a tall glass across the counter, an orange slice perched on the rim of an equally orange drink.

“Screwdriver,” you grin,”Apparently it was named that because of mine workers stirring the drink with a screwdriver.”

“That is.. not reassuring,” she mumbles before taking the orange slice off and placing it on the napkin before sipping the bright drink.

You giggle softly, watching her sip it,”Orange juice and vodka, another dangerous one.”

She nods, masking the fact that she actually really liked this drink.

Ran comes up, eyeing the drink in Sevikas hand before requesting the same one.

You make it no problem but flush as Ran speaks.

“Don't these drinks have, like, romantic meanings?” They ask as they lean against the bar.

You shrug, avoiding both of their gazes,”Maybe- I don't remember all of the drinks' meanings.”

“My dad was a bartender-” Ran grins, nodding in thanks as you slide the tall glass their way,”He used drink language to get my Ma to notice him.”

Sevika hums, eyeing your blushing face and taking note as you avert your gaze.

Sevika quickly realizes she's looking forward to seeing you every night now.

It irritates her- crawls beneath her skin and makes agitation fester when she doesn't see you some nights.

It's like an addiction. She grows more fond of your soft smile and those stupid fruity drinks.

Whenever she does see you, she trails her gaze over your features.

The slope of your nose, the curl of your lips when you laugh, the slight crows feet around your eyes from smiling so much. It's such a shock to her- she's found so little reason to smile down here yet you've found enough to give you a permanent glow.

Whenever you hand her one of those drinks, she allows her gaze to trace unmarred flesh. Not one visible scar along your arms or knuckles whereas scars have faded with time along her own body.

She's infatuated and she hates it. Hates that you're so young- maybe if you were closer in age, she wouldn't find a problem but after hearing you were 24, she couldn't get it out of her head.

You were everything kind and sweet in someone unbeknownst to the cruelties in the undercity.

She avoids you. Finds herself drinking less a few times a week, more time spent outside gambling.

She knows you know, she can feel your gaze when she walks past. She feels guilty, despite the fact that she knows this is for the best. She can't be caught up with someone so inexperienced- so young.

It's been a few weeks now of avoiding you.

Sevika is gambling now when a glass is placed next to her. She side eyes it, looking up to see Ran with a narrowed look in their eyes.

“The fuck is this?” She mutters, pulling her cigarillo from her lips.

“It's a gimlet,” they mutter, rolling their eyes at her attitude.

“A gimlet?” Sevika echoes with a scoff, lifting the glass and sniffing it. There's a slight lime scent,”What's this for?”

“From your friend, who's really wondering if she did something wrong,” Ran huffs out, crossing their arms.

Sevika huffs out a sigh of defeat, eyeing the drink before sipping it.

“Each of these drinks has meaning, you oaf,” Ran scoffs down at her, then hands her a small book.

Sevika narrows her gaze.

“Oh for fucks sake, take the book and read the meanings,” they wave the book around before Sevika scoffs and takes it. Ran is silent for a moment before making a move to walk back inside,”She thinks she said something wrong to offend you.”

“She didn't,” Sevika sighs.

“I know, you're just being an ass.”

Gimlet- ‘The long goodbye,’,’thoughts of someone far away.’

Sevika's eyebrows scrunch as she reads the meanings of these drinks.

“The long goodbye?” She murmurs lowly, confused before guilt claws at her belly. She rubs her hand down her face, covering her mouth as she stares up at her ceiling.

She flips through the pages, reading different meanings before she remembers the first name.

Apricot Fizz- ’Please look my way.’

Something swirls in her belly, this time not an unpleasant feeling as she rereads it at least a dozen times.

She sits up off her bed, trying to remember what one of the other drinks you had given her as she flips through the pages.

A memory sparks as she hits S.

Finally, she finds it.

Screwdriver- ‘You've stolen my heart.’

Her face flushes, eyes widening as she stares down at the page.

She puts the book down for a bit after that, paces her small apartment as she thinks to herself before hopping into the shower to help relax her muscles.

Finally, she calms down enough, easing away the guilt as she picks up the book again to find the last one.

Most ridiculous name for a drink, might she add.

Rob Roy- ‘I want to capture your heart.’

She sighs, dropping the book back on the bed as she flops backwards onto her bed.

She hates the realization that she's got it bad for you. Hates that she looks forward to seeing you despite the fact that she'd been avoiding going up to the bar. Hates that she misses your soft laugh.

She hates that you make her heart warm.

She's thankful that Silco sends her out on a job that takes her away from The Last Drop, using it to get her head on straight.

When she returns, having read through that book at least three times over by this point, she's made up her mind.

Her buddies are out gambling around the corner of the bar as she approaches, waving their way before heading into the bar.

It's late. There's not many people around the bar at this hour, she silently thanks whatever God or goddess may be smiling down on her at this moment.

You're cleaning some glasses, seemingly lost in thought as you don't notice her walking up.

She sits down, arms resting on the counter and she nods at you when you finally look up at her.

Your cheeks heat up,”Sorry-” you murmur.

“Don't apologize, doll,” she speaks softly,”I should- uh, apologize.”

She's looking down at the bar, not seeing the blush across your face at the nickname.

“I was being an ass,” she murmurs, brushing her hand down her face and looking back up at you,”I.. don't really have an excuse.”

You shake your head, waving your hand to brush it off,”I was just worried I said something to upset you or-”

“No, you haven't,” Sevika gazes at you, leaning closer over the bar but keeps a sizable distance,”I'm sorry.”

“It's okay,” you murmur after a moment of silence,”Want a beer?”

Sevika shakes her head, looking down at her hands,”Actually- uh-”

She looks awkward for a moment, giving one last thought before nodding to herself.

“Can I make you one?” She murmurs.

Your eyes widen in surprise.

She stands up, waiting for your reply.

“Yeah- yeah, uh, come on around,” you laugh softly in disbelief.

Sevika looks toward Ran, tucked in the back and shoots them one look that has them scrambling up and gripping their friends elbow, everyone remaining in the bar leaving as you turn away for a moment to open the side of the bar.

Sevika comes around, eyeing the inside of the bar and spotting one of the ingredients she needs. She ushers you out and you laugh softly, shaking your head in fondness.

She grasps the orange juice as you settle in, sitting down on the stool across from her.

“Where are the tall glasses?” Sevika looks at you, then nods as you point to the cabinet behind her.

She gets to work, struggling for a moment to find everything but manages to do so. She adds the alcohol and juices together, unmixed, along with an orange slice and a cherry before sliding it across the bar to you.

You eye it carefully, trying to remember if you know the name but didn't quite catch everything she added.

Sevika doesn't stop there, instead picking up a wine glass and pouring white wine and creme de cassis.

You watch her, the scrunch in her brow as she focuses. A sheepish smile graces your lips, blush warm on your cheeks.

“You're making more than one drink,” you tease softly.

“Just.. trust the process, yeah?” She smirks at you and you can't ignore the flutter in your belly.

She's silent as she grabs another glass after sliding the second glass toward you.

“I avoided you because I was nervous,” she admits softly, averting her gaze as she pours two drinks together.

“Nervous? What for?” You murmur, leaning closer over the bar.

She hums softly, slicing another orange slice to slip into the glass,”You're young- real young, and I couldn't seem to look past that until now.”

You raise an eyebrow in question, ready to ask but she raises a palm, sliding the last glass to you.

She points to the first one she made,”Tequila sunrise,” then the second,”Kir,” then the last one,”Screwdriver.”

She completes her statement by sliding the book across the countertop towards you and your face heats up tremendously.

“I- what-” you carefully grab the book, eyeing her in disbelief.

“Read the first one,” she urges softly.

You nod, flipping to that part of the book.

Under ‘Mutual Feelings’.

Tequila Sunrise- ‘Passionate love.’

Upon reading it, your head shoots up. She is wordless as she points to the second.

Kir- ‘I'm glad we met.’

And you've already memorized the last one- having given her so many of those along with the others.

You're quiet for a moment before pointing to the last orange drink,”You've stolen my heart.”

She just gazes at you, soft and tender and it fills you with warmth.

You grasp the glass, taking a sip of it, following up with the other two before placing them down and standing.

You're wordless as you hike yourself up on the countertop to swing your legs over before gripping Sevika by the collar of her vest and tugging her in to press your lips to hers.

You separate after the blissful moment.

She tastes the fruity drinks on your lips and can't get enough, quickly pressing her lips back on yours again.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—

A/N: gonna order me some apricot fizz now

[castielli]

Not requested. !!First time trying to write sex scenes!!😀. I’m so embarrassed but equally hard. You may notice differences between the normal scenes and the smut cause I usually let my friend fix my mistakes, but she didn’t want to read the gay sex thing💋.

Bruised Knuckles, Broken Walls

Frank Castle x Male!VigilanteReader

Enemies to enemies with benefits, reader has a dick, AMAB reader, angry gay smut scene, oral (r receiving), handjobs, making out, canon violence, cock before taking a cartel down. DNI MINORS, GIRLS, PPL UNCOMFORTABLE WITH SMUT

You’d been tracking the same bastard for days. A dirty dealer with connections in the cartel deep enough to make you sweat and teeth sharp enough to bite back. You’d gotten the location, abandoned warehouse in the Narrows, and moved in like always- silent, clean, brutal.

And then he showed up.

You recognized him by the way the shadows bent around him, the skull on his chest catching the moonlight like a warning. Frank Castle. The Punisher. A walking wrecking ball with a moral code scribbled in blood and a reputation for not playing well with others. Especially not you.

“Of course” you muttered under your breath as he stomped through the broken door like a bear out of hibernation, shotgun already raised. He barely glanced at you. “I had this.”

“I had it first.”

“You sure? ‘Cause all I see is a bunch of guys still breathing.”

“You’re one to talk, Castle. Half the building’s still standing.”

It escalated quickly. It always did. Words turned into shoves. Shoves into fists. You cracked him across the jaw, he tackled you into a stack of crates. Splinters, curses, the sound of your bodies hitting the concrete hard enough to shake your teeth.

And underneath it all, something else. Something hot and electric, seething beneath every punch you threw.

He had you pinned to the ground, forearm to your throat, breathing hard. His eyes burned into yours, close enough that you could feel the heat of him, smell the sweat, the blood.

“You gonna back off?” he growled. You didn’t flinch. “Make me.” His grip tightened for a beat, then loosened.

That was the moment. That single second when something cracked open. His eyes dropped to your mouth. Yours to his. Breathing slowed. Shifted. Became something else entirely.

And then you kissed him.

You didn’t plan to. It wasn’t soft. It wasn’t sweet. It was teeth clacking, breathless, rough, an extension of the fight. He froze for half a second, like the idea had never occurred to him, and then he was kissing you back with the kind of ferocity that made your spine arch off the floor.

It wasn’t just lust. It was frustration. Power. Rage and grief and too many years of carrying pain like armor. His hands gripped your face like he didn’t know whether to shove you away or pull you closer.

You rolled over, pinning him instead, your knees at his sides. He growled into your mouth, his hands digging into your jacket. You bit his lip hard enough to taste blood, and he gasped against you like it surprised him.

“I hate you” he muttered, breathless.

“You wish you did” you shot back, dragging your mouth down to his jaw, the curve of his throat. “You hate that you want this.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Then shut me up.”

He did.

Your back hit the floor again seconds later. He had your arms pinned above your head, the bulk of him pressing you into the cold brick, kissing you like he was trying to bruise the taste of you into his memory. You could feel every inch of him, anger, heat, want, like it was a second skin against yours.

When his hand dropped to your belt, you grabbed his wrist. “Frank.” He stopped. Breathing hard. Waiting.

You didn’t say anything for a second. Just met his eyes, dark, stormy, cracked wide open. You didn’t need to ask what this was. It was obvious. This wasn’t love. This was need.

You let go of his wrist. Nodded.

His hands were rough. Your mouths never stopped moving. There was nothing romantic about it, the way he shoved your shirt up, the way you hissed when your back scraped the bricks, the way you both fought for control with every kiss, every bite, every ragged breath.

You didn’t undress, not all the way, pulling your rough jeans and boxers down enough to free your achingly hard cock, the tension making you feel like it was about to explode.

He kissed you like the world was ending. You held him like it already had. His big, warm and calloused hand wrapped around your shaft, making you shiver and grunt in pain and want.

You kept on making out, swapping saliva and blood as Frank’s thump ran over the slit of your pulsing dick, spreading beads of precum all over the tip before finally starting moving.

You groaned against his mouth, your fingertips pressing into his scalp as Frank roughly pumped your member, letting his big fingers brush against your full balls.

He only pulled away from your now bleeding lips after what felt like an eternity, his deep, dark eyes looking into yours as you both panted harshly.

The hand that was on your cock raised, brushing and tickling the pubic hair above as Frank made his way lower, now laying face to face with your annoyingly delicious looking penis. “Fuck” you groaned as he pushed your sweat damp hair away from your forehead, your eyes following Frank’s every movement.

He looked up at you, his mouth tentatively close to your lubed member, his big eyes looking into yours just to see how good he was already making you feel. As if on cue, you pushed both your hands into his dark hair, surprisingly softer than you imagined. You have it a tug, inviting him to continue before your balls exploded.

He didn’t waste a second, he didn’t want to go slow. He took half of you into his mouth, making you groan at the tight, fuzzy sensation you got from feeling and looking his thin lips wrap around your veiny cock.

He started nodding his head, eyes never leaving yours as he used his other hand to pump the part of you he couldn’t fit into his mouth. He was enjoying it, the feeling of your hairs on his nose, the wet stickiness on his hand, the precum mixing with the blood in his mouth…it was better than anything else he had ever tired.

You started rocking your hips, fucking into his mouth, feeling your cock curve down his throat. Frank was not gagging, somehow. He removed his hand from your member to go back and focus on your balls as well, as he took you deep inside.

But having Frank all to yourself is too nice to be real. The taste of you was still on his tongue when the noise started, somewhere deeper in the warehouse, the sound of movement. Footsteps. Muffled voices. A groan that was definitely not yours or his.

You both froze. Your back was against the wall, pants half-off, Frank practically welded to you, breath hot against your cock. His fingers were still digging into your thigh, lips grazing your skin. You could feel how badly he wanted to finish. You were right there too, already cursing the interruption.

“Shit” you muttered, dragging in a breath through clenched teeth.

Frank pulled back slightly, forehead pressed to yours, jaw clenched like he was physically holding himself back from finishing what you’d started. His hips were still twitching like muscle memory hadn’t gotten the memo yet.

“We didn’t clear the whole place” he growled, like it was your fault somehow.

“No shit, Castle.” He glared at you, breath still ragged. You both looked down. Yup. Still hard. Both of you.

You exhaled through your nose, slow and frustrated. “We gonna finish this or save the city or whatever?”

He let out a groan, half pissed, half desperate, and slammed his fist against the wall right next to your head.

“This never happened” he gritted out, already tucking himself back in, hands shaking slightly.

You adjusted your pants too, biting back a hiss at how sensitive everything still felt. “Sure. Never happened. Just two guys bumpin’ dicks in a warehouse. Completely normal vigilante behavior.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me- oh wait” you snapped, wiping his spit from your mouth with the back of your hand. “You were.”

Frank didn’t answer. Just gave you a look that said ‘I will end you’, but with slightly less conviction than usual. Like maybe he was still fighting the urge to drag you back against the wall and finish what you started.

Instead, he stormed off toward the noise. Like a punished guard dog with a bone still stuck in its teeth. You followed, adjusting your jacket, trying not to think about the ache between your legs or the heat still crawling across your skin. Your whole body was buzzing like it’d been jump started then left hanging.

This wasn’t over. Not even close. But for now? Duty called. And your blue balls were along for the ride.

[absentlyabbie]

having thoughts about one of this season's seemingly lighter, sillier episodes (the hustler job). it was harry's episode, sure, but the thought bouncing around in my brainpan at the moment is about parker.

specifically, her full-tilt bloodthirsty outrage about the villain of the week "rolling nanas."

parker doesn't have much ingrained reverence for familial roles. and why would she? the closest thing she had to a father for most of her life was a man who used, manipulated, and isolated her, reinforcing in her the idea that she is fundamentally broken and unable to be like or around "normal" people, undeserving of real family. (yes, archie did also have love for her, but he still took a troubled child off the street and crafted her into a mini-me master thief off whom he personally profited, all the while drawing a hard line between her and his actual family. nate's scorn and disgust for archie was frankly extremely well earned.)

parker never had a nana.

but hardison did. hardison, who could've ended up a lot more like parker than any of them imagined, had he gone through the same cycle of use-abuse-neglect-violence-crime that parker experienced in foster care and even after it. but hardison, hardison ended up one of the lucky kids in the system.

he ended up with nana. a woman who cared for and fiercely nurtured him, loved him and instilled pride and confidence in him, gave him a home and family, and who would never, ever turn her back on him.

parker never had a nana, but she has undoubtedly heard a ton about hardison's over the years, met her and spent time with her, probably got a little taste of that same acceptance and warmth. parker saw her not just with hardison but with breanna, and however many other children who went into the system and found refuge in nana's house, against all odds.

i can only imagine parker has developed a mythlike admiration for nana, for the role of a nana, something sacred and purely good and as should-be beyond threat as children are, to parker.

her violently gungho fixation on the episode's villain as a predator of nanas is, like many of parker's oddities and quirky behaviors, played largely for comedic effect. but if you don't pay attention to the parts of parker's character that get framed as "for laughs", you'll miss a lot of the depth and nuance in her character.

as we've seen time and again in leverage and redemption, parker is easiest for people to dismiss as a crazy weirdo, silly and childish and incomprehensible. her weirdness often comes across in bright, brash tones, with the brightness set high enough you're not supposed to see the shadows, and the parts of her found in them.

parker never got her own nana, and until knowing hardison, possibly until meeting the woman herself, couldn't have managed to believe in such a concept as a real person. it was too entirely out of her frame of reference.

but nana is real. which means parker could have had one. but she didn't. and i'm sure she's wondered before... who might she have been had she been taken in by someone like hardison's nana, instead of a series of shitty people culminating in the man who cultivated her into a professional criminal?

would she still have been broken? this broken? would she still have been too strange for most people to connect to? could she have been something closer to normal?

and those questions, of course, can never be answered, and parker's not the type to dwell on them past the initial pondering. but it's quite easy to see how the sacrosanct myth of a "nana" who should never, ever experience harm and be protected at all costs could be built in her head.

because a nana saved hardison. and breanna. and so many others. so many children, vulnerable and afraid and alone.

might've, in another world, even saved someone like her.

so anyone who touches a nana could only be the lowest evil. and we know parker doesn't waste moral energy on trash like that. she takes them out.

[dughole]

radiohead’s complicity in israeli-occupied palestine

my feelings on radiohead are complicated these days, as i’m sure they are for many. i'm using this post as a method of sorting out my own thoughts & to provide sources.

for me, the bottom line is this: radiohead is both a brand & a musical group. the brand of radiohead has always had deep roots in the israeli colonial project - they have played many, many shows there throughout their career. their breakout single - creep, was intially only a hit in israel (x, x) & the personal choices of some of radiohead's members remain just as involved. jonny greenwood met his future wife - the israeli artist, antivaxxer & vehement zionist (x) sharona katan - at a show radiohead played in israel in 1993 (x). jonny consistently collaborated with zionist musician shye ben tzur & his projects continue to tour in tel aviv as recently as last september. as for jonny himself - his only statement in regards to the war on gaza has been in mourning for the israeli concert goers on october 10th - w no such empathy spared to the 100,000 palestinians dead, injured, or missing. as for thom, while he’s thrown a few bitchfits (x) through the years abt criticism of radiohead’s shows in israel, he has imo - only paid lipservice to the criticism, saying “playing in a country isn’t the same as endorsing its government” going against the pleas of his peers & coworkers in the music industry. as well as the pro-palestine activism undertaken by his long term friend micheal stipe (x & x). (note: stipe stood by radiohead’s performance in israel in 2017, but his current political choices suggest his understanding of the situation has evolved). even his own son - noah yorke, a fellow working musician, has voiced his opposition to the genocide in gaza via instagram stories. as for the other members, rhythm guitarist ed o'brien has called for a ceasefire, as well as making a few tweets about "solidarity with palestinians & israeli peacemakers". while bassist colin greenwood reportedly refused to accept letters of dialogue from the fan-run organization radiohead fans for palestine. drummer phillip selway's commentary is similarly brief but defensive, saying radiohead's 2017 tel aviv concert "felt right"

to me, this paints a picture of a band who's members stances on israel range from abhorrent to simply not enough. & as a brand, their particular combination of action & inaction amounts to a fundamentally zionist perspective. you cannot separate radiohead as artists from radiohead as a brand name.

i've loved radiohead since i was 14. i was brought into it by another longtime fan. i cried & danced when i saw them live back in 2017 - it was, & remains, a moment that allowed me to live through the hardest parts of my life. i felt for the longest time, that radiohead's music & political positions encouraged my empathy - my questioning of conservative political authority. & while all celebrities are failures in some sense - it is still heartbreaking to know how wrong i was.

i don't think it's possible to disconnect the decade of connection & love i have for their music - I won't ask that of myself or anyone else. & the idea of scrubbing one's taste of the "morally impure" is useless effort & an inappropriate simplification of both art & our conceptions of what makes someone "bad". but i can say with certainty - i will not be giving them any more of my money, whether that be streaming their music or buying their merch - & i encourage you to do the same. silence is complicity - this is beyond silence.

in the words of nina simone - "an artist's duty, as far as i'm concerned, is to reflect the times. how can you be an artist and not reflect the times? that to me is the definition of an artist."

[luimnigh]

So I stumbled onto an interesting Wikipedia page today.

In the aftermath of 9/11, iHeartRadio (then Clear Channel Communications), circulated a list among it's radio stations of songs they were advised against playing.

And a lot of these do make sense. Songs about airplanes, explosions, violence, falling... yeah, no, I get that stuff. Completely understandable to avoid them.

However, there's also plenty of stuff on the list that's questionable.

For some, I just have no idea what the connection is. Green Day's Brain Stew (a song about insomnia), Metallica's Enter Sandman, The Hollies' He Ain't Heavy He's My Brother, Alanis Morrisette's Ironic... All of those seem like they shouldn't have anything objectionable.

There also seemed to be a ban on mentioning New York? Like, okay, AC/DC's Safe In New York City would be in poor taste, but Frank Sinatra's New York, New York is practically the city's anthem. Feels weird to ban that.

But there's also some stuff that, looking back, is absolutely a political choice.

To begin with, they banned the entire discography of Rage Against The Machine. Which, yeah, that's a choice.

They also banned The Bangles' Walk Like An Egyptian, and The Clash's Rock The Casbah, which appear to have been excluded purely based on their references to the Middle East. The banning of Neil Diamond's America (a pro-immigration song) also feels incredibly suspect.

But the reason I ended up on this Wikipedia page in the first place is that I was looking up a song, and it's page mentioned it was one of the banned songs:

War, by Edwin Starr.

You know the one:

War! Hoo! Yeah!

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing!

Telling stations not to play one of the most famous anti-war songs at a time where America's leadership, and a large chunk of the American populace, was chomping at the bit to illegally invade multiple countries and destabilise the entire region based on flimsy evidence?

Absolutely a politically motivated choice. And an act of moral cowardice.

[marsprincess889]

Some planetary conjunctions and how they might manifest

Let me know what you think

...

1. ♀️☌♃

Venus conjunct Jupiter_ abundant Venus and liquidated Jupiter.

Venus is a fierce, reductive force, but one that is ultimately geared towards pleasure. Jupiter is a growing, amplifying, adundant force that must ultimately be reduced and crystalized. Venus exalts in the Jupiterian Pisces in Revati_ the last nakshatra, connecting the two. It's the goal of the two benefics that symbolizes the completion of the journey. Jupiter must give to Venus, who in turn will use that abundance for beauty, order, harmony and pleasure. Venus is also associated with death, so these two joining is really the way of the end, in the most perfect sense (ideally).

Venus-Jupiter conjunction means that a native cannot separate beauty and love from morals and spirituality. Some interesting ways that this might manifest in the mundane:

A native is pure hearted and generous, valuing loyalty, politeness and all things traditionally "good" (Jupiterian) in a Venusian way, meaning that they consider their mundane/tribal laws and values the same as their moral/spiritual alignment. If they feel betrayed, they won't hesitate to stand their ground and defend their stance, often fiercely and without much fuss.

Native seeks to find friends in people who align with their deep-seated values, who understand them on a spiritual level and fit into the material manifestation of their ideal reality.

They understand that not every ideal can be materialized, but they try their hardest to live their preferred utopia.

They are extremely defensive of their own personal philosophy and understanding of the world.

Their spirituality might be deeply connected to love, attachments, romance and sex. They might idolize those things and worship the idea of them, or they might worship their lover.

They might be attracted to Jupierian figures, people who are nourishing and have a tendency to guide them.

Despite what many would think, because of how they appear, these people are not unfamiliar with the occult. They might understand or practice it unknowingly and naturally.

They have a need to ground their ideals in the physical reality somehow.

This one is random: they might like sweet and sour food (food that is both sweet and sour). (I have this, I do...)

Some interesting biological coorelations: Venus is sour and Jupiter is sweet. In the same way that sour taste biologically has a reductive or "pacifying" effect on a cellular level (corrections are welcome I'm not a biology major😶), and sweet taste has an activating effect, Venus reduces and "refreshes" while Jupiter is like the "Yes man" of the planets, encouraging everything and anything. There is obvious danger associated with overconsumption of sweet food.

It's why this conjunction is considered so auspicious. Jupiter is already giving to Venus and Venus is nourished through Jupiter's abundance and spirituality.

Also interesting is the fact that both are abundant and considered benefics. They're the only two planets that are traditionally always benefic. Venus-death association is also because of how the ultimate pleasure can lead to death, because there is nothing else to achieve, Venus is the goal (Also interesting to connect this to Bharani nakshatra_ the beginning and the end, like Revati(also the beginning and the end)_ the exaltation of Venus, both elephant yonis). Sweet and sour food, despite being percieved as opposites, both have a negative effect on teeth (teeth are Saturn_ natural malefic). While being considred auspicious, they need to be under moderation, and can only be indulged in when the structure(teeth_ Saturn) is perfected.

These people might come across as "too nice", "too sweet" or "too good" to some people, they might be viewed as innocent or seen in an idealized light.

A lot depends on the sign, house and the nakshatra placement, as well as on potential aspects to other planets or the dignity of both. This placement does not mean that life is all sunshine and rainbows, but it does mean that one area of a person's life is lucky. The degree of that luck varies based on factors I just listed above.

2. ♄☌☊

Saturn conjunct Rahu_ destiny blockage/ denial of destiny

Saturn and Rahu are both cold planets that induce anxiety. Saturn deals with restrictions, blockages, challenges, limits and time. Rahu is the destiny of a person, the desire born out of Ketu, that which you never had but crave and feel like you must have.

Both relate to the material. Saturn brings about the material results from its controls and limitations, Rahu is the Maya itself, the percieved reality. Saturn restricts and denies, while Rahu makes you shake from the sheer craving of it.

This conjunction might feel like a cruel joke of fate. What a person desires most is denied from them. It's like, life pushes you towards it (Rahu) but then denies is harshly (Saturn). Despite the Saturnian limits, this placement won't leave you alone, because Rahu never does.

Imagine that you want something, maybe unwillingly, that circumstances and people around you always seem to push you towards it, but you also feel judged for wanting it/to do it, and that you also feel judged for not doing it.

In this aspect, the circusmtances can be interpreted from the nakshatra placement of Saturn and Rahu (and Ketu, because they're always connected), what you want can be seen in the house placement as well the nakshatra and the sign.

(This coming example is not from my chart) For example, if that the conjunction occurs in the sign of Gemini, the nakshatra of Ardra in the 5th house, and let's say Ketu is in Mula in the 11th, the person is pushed towards creativity and self-expression that includes a lot of other people(Ardra). They might want to mingle at large parties and express themselves creatively with others in an analytic and cerebral way, they might want to be respected for their logical mind and for suitable education. They might want their creative works to have collective value, and to have opinions that spark discussion, but they might never have felt worthy of it, they might thunk that they're stupid or that everyone will judge them if they dare to express themselves, because they might have experiencied that before in their life.

This is a constant tug-of-war between caution and leaping. If another planet aspects this point(esp conjunction), it becomes of immensely major importance, also given that Ketu is on the other side. A lot of what the native experiences with this feels out of their control.

I imagine there comes a time (or many) when this proccess leads to a crirical point of release, when the native has to make a decision. How gradual or immediate it is depends on everything else connected to it (sign, nakshatra, house).

Saturn is going to reward you eventually if you do everything right, and Rahu is going to calm down once you accept it and pay little attention to it (balance it with your Ketu).

3. 🌙☌♂️

Mars conjunct Moon_ sensitivity and reactivity

Both Mars and Moon represent both. Moon is sensitive and its reactions arise from the influence of others. Mars tries to defend itself because of their sensitivity and reacts out of that necessity, against whatever most others have decided.

For example, a moon dominated person's first instinct might be to try to find comfort in the surroundings when they feel sensitive, to mesh with and adjust to others. A person more dominated by Mars is most likely going to do something different and draw a clear line to set themselves apart.

When those two planets are together, a person might struggle between those two. They might react impulsively and emotionally when they feel threatened, they might angry-cry. Not necessarily a victim mentality placement but when reactions and actions are tied to the emotional and mental subcouncious of a person, they're bound to have some dramatic reactions sometimes. They also impulsively decide things on their own and might blame circumstances later if they do not work out.

Their mother might be/have been a domineering or bossy person, rarely considerimg the feelings of the native while making decisions.

These people feel fragile naturally, but they're very much capable of defending themselves. The thing is that that takes a lot of their energy that could be saved or spent doing something else.

They might also feel passionate about certain things/causes in a "more than average" intense way. They tire themselves out.

Moon is milky, cold and placid. Mars is pungent, heated, spicy. If Moon is dairy, Mars is chilli or garlic. So, there is a certain balance within this individual, but it's always at the risk of overacting or overinvesting, especially if one or both planets are not placed favorably.

Even then, this placement has a risk of unnecessary aggression (or aggression presented as care), especially when it's placed in a tense/triggering nakshatra like Dhanishta (even though Mars is exalted) or in an intense sign like Scorpio, despite the fact that Mars does well in both of those places on its own.

4. ☀️☌♄

Sun conjunct Saturn _ humble soul, integrated ego

So this one is interesting and kind of classic, because Sun and Saturn together is quite a pair.

Traditionally, they're considered enemies, but in the case of people ruled by their nakshatras, theose people work extremely well together.

Natives who carry this conjunction are used to feeling small and inferior since they could remember.

Sun is the soul, Saturn is the limitation. Soul is limitless on its own and immortal in its essence, and despite the fact that Saturnian material boundaries do not kill it, they still give it a really hard time.

Saturn is basically the "maker" of the in-carnation (coming into the body) in a sense that it rules time, finite-ness and all things tangible. In a way, Sun is more solid and crystalized, but it also cannot shine to the full extent that it wants to.

This placement gets easier and easier with time and it's not the worst affliction that a person can have. It's still stable (unless there's also Mars, Moon or Rahu involved) and constructive on some level.

It still does mean that Sun is afflicted by anxiety and nervousness though.

These natives need to develop an immunity to being intimidated and ridiculed. They have to learn to let the unnecesary doubt go.

They might feel like they can never get away with anything. It's like, one way or another, they can never avoid punishment, even if others somehow can and even if it seems unfair.

There is an air of seriousness with them when it comes to their personal lives and individuality. They might not like overly jovial people and are hesitant to trust them. Depending on the sign, house and nakshatra placements, this is going to expand to the areas that they represent.

If, for example, this point is in Gemini, in Punarvasu, in the 4th house, this is going to affect the way they communicate and connect to family members and people close to them, also their subconcious and sense of safety. If it's in Scorpio, in Jyeshta, in the 7th house, it's going to affect their partner(s) and enemies, their competitive side, how they present themselves to everyone who isn't them, who they consider to be "the other". If it's in Aries, in Krittika, in 9th house, it's going to affect their sense of self in the grand scheme of things, their beliefs and philosophy, what they consider to be morally good and correct or not, how they define themselves within the world as they see it.