#you understand the pain of missed potential. don't you my friend :)

[beevean]

3. The best character you've written for and 4. The best ship you've written for

Hector and Dracula and Hecula, respectively. Because of course :D 💖

8. What I like the most about your writing

I've said it a lot of times before and I'll say it again - you clearly know what to show to the audience and what to leave to their imagination. Your mastery in this skill gives your Hecula fics this "implicitly nightmarish" vibe I haven't seen many nail down as accurately as you do. tl;dr beev peak

9. A fic i'm excited for you updating/posting

Grip when.

10. A character/ship I didn't enjoy/think about as much before you wrote about them

You're the one who made me love Hector and Issac as much as you do, heh heh :P

11. Something I wish/hope you write

A full-blown Lenore rewrite fic :) search your heart, you know you want to write it :)

(semi-jokes aside, I'm looking forward to you contuining to carry the entire Hecula tag on your back lmfao. do your best bestie <3)

3/4) Haha, of course :P I should try to change... but I love those two disasters and the JESUS FUCK NO EW factor too much 😂

8) awwwwww bro 🥺 I try my best! In my experience and tastes, allowing the reader to put two and two together creates a bigger sense of discomfort than showing the Horrors in all of their gory details. Ofc a talented writer can do that too! But I prefer to leave things implied and allow the braincells to activate :P

Besides, I actually don't care so much about the Horrors themselves, so much as their consequences. Hint hint 🙂

9) I wanted to try to finish other one-shots, but I'm not getting any inspiration. Perhaps. Perhaps I could take advantage of re-reading the MF manga in Japanese. :) (jokes aside, I'm glad you still look forward to it!)

10) And I'm so happy you came to love them 💖 they're our boys now ^^

11) ... don't you tempt me. Yes I do want to write it damn it the missed potential of that bitch lives in my head rent free 😭

well it sure would be nice if other people helped me hfdkjshfjksh but if my propaganda doesn't work, then i'll be proud to carry the tag on my shoulders...

[goldfades]

𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐈 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐃𝐌𝐈𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈'𝐌 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐎𝐎 𝐒𝐎𝐅𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐎𝐅 𝐈𝐓 ─ PB⁵ ft. UCONN WBB MANAGER

౨ৎ ─ summary | this is taking place pre-relationship! paige apologizes for distancing herself after her injury. this can be read by itself but i would highly recommend reading my headcanons first so you have a bit of context!

─ word count | 1.1k

─ warnings | paige's injury, mention of tension/pettiness, the reader and p weren't on good terms for a while.

─ ev's notes |

⇨ missing out on updates? check out my wcbb masterlist! (updates once a week or so)

THE KNOCK ON your apartment door was sharp and slightly unexpected, your expression turning confused and slightly annoyed.

KK and Ice had left your apartment almost an hour ago, could they really be back already? You sighed before closing your laptop, getting up to open the door only to be met with the person she least expected to be there.

Paige, in all her glory ─ crutches and everything.

You couldn't really explain exactly what happened to prompt Paige to begin acting weird, but she was. She had been, for a while now and you didn't really know why. This was almost two months before her injury so you couldn't even use that as an excuse; she just was.

Despite her efforts to create distance, you couldn't help but worry about her. After all, you had grown close and you even considered her to be one of your best friends at some point, but right now you really didn't know what your relationship was. And of course when she got injured, you made it your mission to take care of her, offering support and comfort whenever she needed it.

But no matter how hard you tried, she always pushed you away. You didn't understand it, you didn't even know why ─ so eventually, you just gave up.

As Paige stood at your doorstep, a whirlwind of emotions seemed to flash across her face. You ushered her in quickly, noticing the slight grimace of pain as she maneuvered on her crutches.

Before you could even begin to speak, she began to talk. "Look, I'm sorry."

You stared back at her, taken aback by her sudden apology. This whole thing had been happening for three months, and even after the millionth time you tried fixing the issue, she continued to act distant with you. It was frustrating and disheartening, to say the least. You had racked your brain trying to understand what went wrong, what could've caused Paige to pull away, but you always came up empty-handed.

"I'm sorry for being a bitch, especially the other night," Paige's voice was devoid of any of the usual excitement she had, it didn't even sound like her.

You couldn't really blame her though, she had just suffered a potentially season-ending injury and the weight of it all seemed to be pressing down on her shoulders. Despite her usual extroverted energy, Paige appeared diminished, her usual spark dulled by the frustration.

You felt a pang of sympathy as you looked at her, realizing the immense toll her injury must be taking on her both physically and emotionally. It wasn't just about missing games or the possibility of a season-ending setback; it was about the loss of something she loved, something that defined her in many ways.

"No, it's okay. Don't even apologize, I get it," you said softly, your voice laced with empathy. "I shouldn't have pushed you, especially with your injury and all,"

"You were just trying to help, I really am sorry," Paige mumbled as she sighed. "I've been so caught up in my own anger that I haven't stopped to think about how it's affecting everyone else, especially you."

You frowned at her words, your heart aching for her. You had been there; the exact moment it happened and you almost couldn't believe it, all the pettiness from the previous months were thrown out the window as you ran to her side.

You moved closer to her, wanting to offer her some comfort. "Please, don't stress yourself out about it. I just wanted you to get better and... well, I just wanted my best friend back," you let out a nervous chuckle as you spoke.

Paige finally met your gaze, her eyes watery and red as she sniffled. She felt ashamed, she couldn't believe that she let anything get in the way of her relationship with you.

"P, it's okay," you said gently, reaching out to wipe away her tears. "I understand why you've been feeling the way you have. And I want you to know that I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be here for you, through the good times and the bad."

Paige sniffled, leaning into your touch as if seeking comfort. "I'm really, really sorry, Y/N. I've been such a mess lately, I missed you."

You could practically feel the exhaustion radiating off of her as you sighed. Without any hesitation, holding her close as if trying to shield her from the weight of the world. Paige buried her face into your shoulder, her body trembling with pent-up emotion as she finally allowed herself to release the weight she had been carrying.

"You don't have to apologize, P," you whispered, your voice filled with warmth and reassurance. "I've missed you too, more than you'll ever know. But more than anything, I just want you to be okay."

Paige buried her face in your shoulder, her breath hitching as she let out a shaky sigh. "I'm trying, Y/N. I really am."

You held her tighter, offering her the comfort and support she so desperately needed. "I know you are, Paige. And I'm here for you every step of the way. We'll get through this together."

Paige nodded against your shoulder, her breaths coming out in ragged sighs as she let herself be comforted by your embrace. In that moment, the walls she had built around herself seemed to crumble as she let go of all her fears.

Paige spoke up again, her tears soaking into the fabric of your shirt. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Y/N. You've always been there for me, even when I didn't deserve it."

"That's what I'm here for, right?" You replied, tightening your hold around her.

Eventually, Paige pulled back slightly, her eyes red and puffy but filled with gratitude. "Thank you, Y/N. I don't know what I'd do without you."

You gave her a gentle smile, brushing a stray tear from her cheek. "You don't have to do anything alone, Paige. I'm here for you, always. Are you hungry?"

She was slightly taken aback as she let out a soft chuckle. "Sure, yeah. What's on the menu tonight?"

You smiled back at her, feeling yourself fall back into the natural swing of things. "Mac and cheese, if you're up for it?"

"Hey, it's a thanksgiving food! It's kinda fitting the vibe, don't ya think?" Paige's voice came out hoarse but you could see the amusement in her red-brimmed eyes.

With a gentle arm around her shoulders, you guided Paige to the kitchen, mindful of her injury. As you worked together to prepare the meal, the tension that had been weighing heavily between you seemed to dissipate, replaced by a sense of familiarity.

However, you could still sense a little tension in the air ─ but you decided that issue was for another day.

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[tea-and-vodka]

DP x DC AU, Bruce/Danny (if someone knows the ship name *please tell me-*)

Side note: I'm using asterisks (*) to signify italics, because for some reason Tumblr is being annoying about those.

- - -

He never really told anyone about it. No one really remembered but him, Alfred, and the photos they had kept.

Bruce had a friend when he was younger, one who had lived on the streets before moving into the manor.

The two had been practically inseparable.

Yet, as they grew older, they knew that his friend needed to stay away from the cameras and stares that had started following Bruce like mosquitoes.

So, his friend left when they were in their late teenage years. They kept in contact of course, and the two visited. But when the youngest (at the time) Wayne began to get involved with less than legal activities in their twenties, he hid it from his friend.

The rate of their visits slowed down, until it came to a halt. They sent letters, of course, but seeing him in person meant danger. Potentially putting *him* in danger. And Bruce could not let that happen.

- - -

The Batkids all stare in varying levels of confusion, concern, and awe as Bruce becomes visibly flustered.

"Bruce, Darling, it is so nice to see you again!" The man, Danny, says, before kissing Bruce on the corners of his mouth. He holds the billionaire's face in his hands as he tilts his own head to the side, a soft and affectionate look on his face. "I have missed you and Alfred so much! How have you two been?"

Bruce stammers for a moment, not taking his eyes off of the taller man in front of him. "I've, um, been well, thank you. Uh-" He flicks his eyes over to his kids before returning them to Danny as he gestures to the gathered crowd in his entryway. "These are my children! Wo-would you like to meet them?" He blurts out quickly, a smile that he seemed to be desperately fighting on his face.

"Of course! Why wouldn't I want to meet them?" Danny says jovially, turning to the others.

As the man calmly walks over, Cass makes a few observations. His lithe, relatively short body not tense in the slightest, every step seeming purposeful yet not at all thought about, and his eyes flick over everyone in front of him like he's analyzing them. Seeing them like she sees people.

Still smiling, he opens his mouth to speak to all of them, when he freezes. The group tenses, watching as he doesn't take his eyes off of the second eldest brother as his smile falls.

With pain in his eyes, the older man simply breathes out an, "Oh."

Jason stared into Danny's eyes, something akin to grief beginning to show on his face.

"Oh, *Sweetheart.*" Danny said softly, stepping closer to the younger man. He carefully takes his face into one hand, holding him like he may break. "*I'm so sorry.*"

At that, Jason's face metaphorically crumples, tears spilling down his face as Danny feels his [*hurts tired scared angry tired hurts scared h e l p -*]. Danny's thumb rubs his cheek in an effort to soothe the young man, an understanding sadness on his face. In response, Jason lets out a small whimper as he tries to bury his face into the other's hand.

Gently, delicately, despite the sheer size of him, he pulls Jason close, practically curling around him like he's trying to shield him from the outside world. One hand rubs his back, the other curling into his hair as the Bat's face buries itself into his neck, muffling the sounds of sobbing. [*Safe together protect safe comfort soothe safe*]

As the Batfamily watched this happen, most were too caught off-guard and utterly dumbstruck to notice some unusual details.

Cass's eyes squint slightly in suspicion as Danny's toxic green ones close. Weren't those a nearly unnatural blue when she first saw him?

- - -

I'm sorry if this got repetitive; I don't usually beta anything I post!

Essentially, Danny senses Jason's ghostly-ness, and is like, "Who the heck hurt this baby?!" Immediately reaching out with the whole ghost-EM field-thing, Jason's whole world is flipped because he'd been subconsciously trying to reach out that way ever since he got back to Gotham, and had been getting increasingly distressed because no one was understanding what he was communicating.

A few years after he was brought into the manor, Danny had explained to Bruce and Alfred what he is, what happened in Amity Park, how he got deaged, etc., and they accepted him wholeheartedly. *Except*, he left out any and all mention of vigilantism / the bigger enemies that he fought, and went on to working on being the ghost king when he moved out. He doesn't know about the Batfam being the Bats and Birds, and they don't know about him being royalty, nor his vigilante past.

He and Bruce are both very intelligent dumbasses, and do not realize that they have romantic feelings for one another. Alfred is well aware. Is Bruce also dating someone else in this AU? Potentially! It is currently up to interpretation, since I have not thought about who would go well for this scenario. (Although, I do feel like Danny would have beef with Clark because of the whole Connor debacle. Maybe, behind the scenes, Danny adopted Connor, and now Danielle has a brother!)

Also, I'm tired of people being like, "Danny is short! He's only 5'7!" (/lh) It makes me feel short. In this, he is 5'4, and he does not care if this whole ass man is over six foot, he *will* do his best to curl around him and help him feel safe for the first time since he was a teen.

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 3.3

John having to get high out of his mind because he knows he's invited Paul to come play with him is so so sad. These are the same guys who used to sit facing each other on a bed playing guitars for hours, and now this is them?

Is John calling Paul “Jack Lemon” a reference to “some like it hot”? Because if so, I have questions. Anyway, when your estranged best friend shows up to hang out with you and a bunch of people, talking about being in love again and getting jizzed on is extremely normal and acceptable behavior.

This jam session is so fucking painful though. Paul's doing his best to just push through and get them to actually play something and John's just too far gone.

My theory: there's two reasons he did this. 1. He's avoidant and the last thing he's going to do is let on how bad he needs John in his life and how scared he is that if John gets back with Yoko that that'll be difficult. And 2. He couldn't live with himself if he didn't. If he'd kept it from John that Yoko wanted him back and later John cried to him about how much he missed Yoko or something? Paul can't have that.

John singing a snatch of Yesterday before a take of “Whatever gets you through the Night”??? Did either of them ever write a song where they weren't thinking about the other? Did they ever have a minute of peace without the other rattling the bars of the cage in his brain?

“Hold me Darling, come on, listen to me. I won't do you no harm.” Duh it's about Paul. Oh my gosh.

And with Bless You I'm always so torn. There are so many obvious references to Paul which the doc points out beautifully, but situationally it could also be about Yoko. Maybe it's about both of them in the same way that don't let me down is about both of them.

Anyway the cosmic visuals are gorgeous.

Why'd you have to phrase it like that though? Twice?

Hall of Fame moment. It's a high point for him career-wise and he chose to pull Paul into his spotlight. Not only to sing Paul's song, not only to name-drop him, but to publicly call him an official romantic title. Not “boyfriend” or “ex-wife” which both could've been much more mocking if that's what he was trying to do. But “fiance”. It's official and respected, but it's still got the lustful, unsettled, connotation that something like “husband” lacks.

Johann Weener, everyone. What a loser.

Everyone who still refers to Lennon Remembers like it's the fucking Bible listen to this. It doesn't go on for the next five years, let alone fifty.

John refusing to walk to blocks to sign the papers when George and Paul flew over the ocean. And only on the basis of astrology. He really didn't want the divorce. My heart aches for him. But he made his bed as they say.

I'm putting on my tinfoil hat again here, but I do just have to point out that one of John's first songs, “Hello, Little Girl,” has a line that goes, “you never seem to see me standing there”. And the earliest draft of WISHST, which was started soon after, answers that line. “I saw you standing there.” (Yes, it said you originally, not her). So maybe. Just maybe. That song wasn't just a Paul song, but a song that John knew Paul had put a message in for him. Okay, I apologize for the insanity. On another note, I do wonder if he ever found out what Paul thought of that.

Interviewer: ≈ at this point, do you like writing by yourself, or do you want to write with Paul again?≈ John: ≈well it's a bit of both. It's the same for Paul. We were talking about it a week ago. Okay, cool. So they definitely talked openly and honestly about potentially writing together again.

John, about their partnership, “There was always the feeling that someone was there if you needed it.” Paired with the gayest picture ever taken and then Paul singing “if I can do anything at all, let me help.” Thanks. I hate it.

John was so excited for New Orleans! What happened? I mean I have my theory based on May's book and the sudden shift in behavior. But it's pretty dark.

You know how crazy Paul is about John in interviews now? How he can't seem to keep John's name out of his mouth? John was worse in the seventies. He's promoting his Rock’n’Roll album, talking unprompted and romantically about how he met Paul, when the interviewer reminds him what relationship he's supposed to be romanticizing right now. So John remembers too and dedicates the album to Yoko who he's just got back together with.

Biconic quote.

Interviewer asks, after John's brought him up, if John's pleased with how well Paul's doing. John expresses his relief that Ringo has "found himself a niche" and then

I really do think that last bit sums up a big chunk of how John feels about Paul, and why he feels alright playing dirty against Paul or slagging Paul off. Why it would have been the furthest thing from his mind that Paul actually struggled or was insecure. Why Paul had to remind him, “I'm only a person like you, love.”

What an insane thing to think, let alone say. What if Julian had heard that? I'm pretty sure Julian and Paul weren't in contact, really at all, until the eighties, right? So John's doing better than he is at this point (I mean he's his dad, he should be). John is insecure about every possible thing and compares himself to Paul in every possible way.

Baby. He needed some serious help. The thing that sucks about being ahead of your time is that you also have to live in a world that's behind your needs.

And then. “There's always a friendly tv channel to turn to that's going to make you feel less alone.” I wonder if Paul “Call Me Back Again, John I know you're not that tired from the baby just let me in the fucking door” McCartney heard this? It's possible with how obsessive they were, but it's also impossible with how busy he kept himself.

Okay, here's the first story we've been missing about Paul experiencing negative emotions. And, of course, as always in this doc, it's paired perfectly with “Don't Let it Bring you Down” which is the musical mission statement of Paul's clenched-jawed smile philosophy.

"I tend to get a bit absolute in my statements." Yes, John. Yes you do. Another quote that Big Lennon fans should keep in mind.

John on the three weeks he took to decide if he wanted to continue the band after the first Hamburg trip: The others were mad because we could've been making money. Yeah, John, Paul suddenly had to work in a factory after he'd thrown away an educated, white-collar career (the first in his family) to be in your band. I'd be pissed too if you just didn't even bother to call. Anyway I just hate how casual John is about it. Someone who never had to worry about money is just never going to get that.

John doesn't even remember a ballpark number of how much they were making. Paul remembers exactly bragging to his professors that he was making fifteen a week in Hamburg. Sorry to go on and on about this right before Paris, but to me it's an important difference between them.

Anyway, the fact that Paris was more than just a vacation for them. The fact that – according to Stuart and John at least – they might not have come back. It's dizzying. They really thought about just running off together. I wonder what made them decide to come back and continue the band.

No offense if you do, but I don't personally believe in this stuff. What would the motivation have been for the tarot reader to tell him that? Either way, fuck him.

Gosh the live version of “Call Me Back Again”. You feel it, physically, how bad he wants this phonecall. And the desperation from such a successful man is fantastic. Literally, John, how did it feel to be the only man in the world that could get Paul McCartney to beg? “Pretty baby” “what can I do?” “Boohoohoo babe.” “I tried the operator, but I just can't get through.”

Reporter at the Wings over America tour: No John Lennon, no George Harrison, and no Ringo Starr, just Paul McCartney. And for everyone here tonight, that seemed to be plenty! Obviously he's loving this praise after all the negative press. Anyone would, and Paul needs it more than most people actually. But I bet part of him is like “stop. Don't say it like that, they already hate me enough as it is.”

How many times has John admitted that he finds Paul attractive? “It was no surprise, you know, when the kids – girls saw him, they go ‘ooh! Ooh!’ right away, you know?”

“I know it's true. It's all because of you.” Playing over this? Are you kidding me? Anyway I've never seen the picture version of this, so I thought I'd screenshot it.

But actually, in a way, the original written lyrics to Now and Then are less depressing than what he sang on the demo. “I know it's true, I'm still in love with you, and if I make it through, it's all because of you,” is obviously sad because they're both married to other people. But at least in that version, John's saying his own personal resilience to life's struggles comes from his relationship with Paul, which is nice. Whereas when John, who is sliding into a self-hating deep depression I'm comparing himself to Paul's phenomenal success, sings “it's all because of you” in a general sense, it almost feels like a callback to the ‘I'm shit and I couldn't do anything but be a Beatle (and ride Paul's boat)’ quote. Which is heartbreaking. I wish he could've recognized his own genius.

But yeah either way it's enough to make your heart heavy. If anyone needs a good cry, just go to the last five minutes of this. That should've been the now and then music video, but Paul's too scared of feelings. Which. You know. Considering how much it affects me, I can't even imagine how much it affects him. So he gets a pass.

“Why must we be alone? It's real love. It's real.”

[chubphoe-linkclick]

People like to point to a lot of random scenes in Link Click to justify why ShiGuang being romantic is canon. Now, I'm not the creator of Link Click, I have no authority on the subject. So most the time, it's a "lets agree to disagree" situation.

However, there is one scene from Episode 1 that I find down-right offensive for people to point to as evidence of Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang being an item:

There is no doubt that this scene is incredibly beautiful and loving, but romance isn't what makes this scene beautiful, nor is it what makes the bond they share so touching and engaging to watch. The fact that they honest-to-God love and care about each other is.

What makes this particular scene really lovely is information we're given later in the show. Its full tenderness only clicks in hindsight once we know more about the characters and Cheng Xiaoshi's past. Specifically, when we understand more about how their powers work and the tragic fact that Xiaoshi is (effectively) an orphan.

So we need to back up a few steps.

The scene begins with us seeing Emma dreaming about her parents, and we eventually see a visual representation of how Cheng Xiaoshi is also experiencing this dream as her, taking on her feelings.

Then there's her parents leaving, metaphorical for how out of her life they are now and how much Emma misses her parents (duh).

The fun part comes from the fact that it's not Emma we see as a child at this point, but Xiaoshi. He is being left behind by his parents.

Look at this face. IT'S THE FACE OF PAIN, and for me it honestly didn't make sense why this dream was as emotionally impactful for him as it was (on my first watchthrough).

Afterwards Cheng Xiaoshi wakes up, and Lu Guang notices this. At times like this, I really appreciate the dub for localising what's being said better than the more literal subtitles (even though the dub definitely says some shit that just ain't true). The dub's word choices are:

LG: "You're up?" CXS: "I dreamt that I had spring rolls with my parents." LG: "Folks on your mind?" CXS: "Yeah, and they're on hers as well."

LG: "When you became her, you took on some of her feelings and her memories. It must be tough." CXS: "... I wonder if they'll come back."

and then Cheng Xiaoshi rolls over and starts hugging himself tightly because of the unbearable pain

It takes a hot second for Lu Guang to realise what Cheng Xiaoshi actually means by his statement, that the 'they' in question is his own parents rather than anyone in Emma's life. Naturally, Lu Guang understands that Cheng Xiaoshi is suffering immensely right now because Xiaoshi's being forced to feel the agonising hole is his life that came from the worst thing that ever happened to him.

And so, he reaches through time and space (metaphorically?) to comfort him, his all-time best friend and, yes, potential romantic partner, telling him that "It will work out, just rest." Because SWEET JESUS, WHO WOULDN'T TRY COMFORTING THEIR FRIEND IN THAT MOMENT!? WHO??

It's beautiful. It's sweet. It's loving. It shows how in-tune they are to each other and that they care about each other's well being. No macho shit here, only a wholesome connection that we are all jealous of and celebrate.

Bonus analysis: knowing Cheng Xiaoshi's emotional state at this point, his re-suffering of the pain from being separated from his parents, then makes the message from Emma's mother and his reaction to it all the more emotionally touching.

Maybe the reason he sent the reply "I miss you" wasn't even for Emma's sake in that moment, but a result of the line between his own loneliness and hers having become so blurred in that sleepy moment.

I'd just like to clarify again, if you think they're gay together: cool. If you think this scene is the reason why: not cool.

Romance isn't the highest form of love, and it's not gay or weird to love your friends. What Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang have is really beautiful, and I honestly don't think I've ever seen such a great depiction of two men who are so comfortably close to each other.

Whether their relationship is platonic or otherwise doesn't really matter here. What upsets me is the unhealthy elevation of romantic love as the most true and purest form of love over all other kinds -- that you can only care about someone this much and want them in your life ONLY if you want to marry them or something -- an idea that ends up hurting a lot of people.

Romance isn't what makes this scene beautiful, nor is it what makes the bond they share so touching and engaging to watch. The fact that they honest-to-God love and care about each other is.

[atinystraynstay]

Still You - Boo Seungkwan

Inspired by: Still You - Seungkwan - Seungkwan's OSTs are literally my favorite songs to listen to

Pairing: idol! Boo Seungkwan x reader

Genre: Angst - break up/first time seeing your ex after the breakup

Word Count: 2.4k

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People his age were graduating from college, were getting into a groove of the 9-5 routine, and were starting to plan out the rest of their lives. This meant that for some people his age, hell, some even younger, were starting to settle down and have kids.

Of course, Seungkwan doesn't take his life for granted. If anything, he is extremely blessed to be able to have all these opportunities. It was a rocky start for Seungkwan and his members, his brothers. Yet, they preserved to reach their goal of being a group of 13 dedicated individuals who were singing their hearts out for the crowd.

There was just one part of Seungkwan's life that he was missing - you. You had been such a constant in his life until you guys mutually decided to end things.

Letting you go was one of the hardest thing's Seungkwan had to do in his life. He just felt frustrated that he couldn't be there for you, that in some way, he has been letting you down. All around him, he saw friends around him making huge milestones with their significant others. It made him feel even worse. He felt like he couldn't be the partner you deserved, and that in some way he was holding you back from being the happiest version of yourself.

But since you walked away, he felt even worse. It was like there was a blackhole in his life depleting him of any joy he could potentially feel. Every award won, he wanted to be able to celebrate with you. He wanted to tell you about all the exciting opportunities lining up for him, or all the funny stories of all the members. He just couldn't bring himself to pick up the phone and call you in case you didn't pick up. He would understand, of course, if you never wanted to hear from him again.

Maybe in another lifetime you guys could've made it worse. Or maybe someday, they'll invent time travel so he can travel back to warn the past version of himself not to make the biggest mistake he could ever make.

"Are you sure you don't want to come out with us?" Jeonghan asked. "Yeah, I'm sure. I've been thinking about my bed since we left the company," Seungkwan responded back.

Normally, Jeonghan would have teased Seungkwan and tried convincing him to come out. However, being the one that lives with Seungkwan, he got to see how bad this breakup was affecting him, even more than he wanted to let on to the others. Jeonghan didn't like the idea of leaving Seungkwan home alone when he was this upset, but he also respected his wishes.

"Text if you need anything," he stated. He was very protective of one of his youngest brothers.

Seungkwan flashed a gentle smile before turning to retreat back to his bedroom for the remainder of the night. Yes, he wanted to be in his bed, but he wanted to just be alone with his thoughts. Maybe he could try to come up with a way to get you to take him back? Maybe he could find the courage to text you, just to see how you're doing?

Once in his room, Seungkwan locked the door. He slid off the blue button up sweater he had on. He shivered slightly from the difference in air temperature once he was left only in a white t-shirt. Slowly, he shuffled over towards his dresser. Might as well get comfortable for the rest of the night. He took off his belt followed by his baggy, ripped jeans and replaced the denim with black sweatpants.

He then proceeded to flop on his bed. One hand rested on his chest, the other running through his head. His feet were dangling over the edge of the bed. Staring up at the ceiling, he still thought of you. Were you happy? Were you eating and taking care of yourself? Were you seeing someone else?

The thought of you moving on to someone else pained him. While you were dating, Seungkwan didn't think much of the future. What he enjoyed most of the relationship was living in the moment with you. With an unpredictable lifestyle like his, he never wanted to make promises that could easily be broken. Your care-free personality made it easy to welcome unexpected changes to plans.

Now that you two were a thing of the past, the future was all he could think about. He didn't even get the chance to introduce you to his family back in Jeju yet he knew he wanted everything with you. He wanted to move into an apartment with you, find out what little habits you have and what your routines looked like. He wanted to plan getaways together where you explore a new place. Seungkwan knew eventually he wanted to get down on one knee and ask you to be his forever. Now, that might be far into the future, but he knew you were his end game one way or another.

Why didn't I just talk things out with her? Why did I push her away?

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door which caused him to groan. It was probably Jeonghan trying his luck again to get him to go out. He sat up, his left knee bending to rest on the bed.

"Hyung, I told you no. Leave me alone, ok?"

There was a moment of silence after Seungkwan spoke. Wow, Seungkwan finally found a way to get Jeonghan to admit defeat. There was a first thing for everything.

"Want me to go even if it isn't Jeonghan?"

Seungkwan froze completely. He was about to lay back down in his bed, allow himself to be absorbed back into his thoughts, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. There is no way he can go back to what he was doing if he just heard correctly. There is no way it was you. It couldn't be.

He let out a shaky breath, praying that he heard incorrectly. Maybe it was just his mind playing tricks on him again? There was on time he was performing and he thought it was you in the crowd. He just needed to get more sleep. Not until though he got closure who was standing outside of his door.

Every one and while, his step caused the floor to creak. A sign that there was life in his bedroom and not just an empty. He reached his front door, looking at it for a moment.

You're just imagining things, Seungkwan. It really is just Jeonghan or one of the other guys trying their best to get you to join them.

"Jeonghan, seriously, it's not funny. Just go-" Seungkwan spoke as he opened the door.

It wasn't Jeonghan standing behind the door. It was you. You stood there, almost as if you were unsure why you were standing there yourself. Your gaze was locked on the door in front of you, so the moment the door open, you were staring at each other. "Jeonghan invited me," you said softly. "I really hope that is ok. I didn't know if it was a good idea or not, so I can just go." "I'm not letting you walk out a second time."

You both seemed surprised by the words that left his lips. You couldn't help but smile in satisfaction at his response. While Seungkwan was flipping out in his mind. He knew he meant what he said, but nothing prepared him for this exact moment.

Slowly, Seungkwan opened bedroom door to allow you in. He stepped to the side, so you could step in. Knowing the house was empty, he kept the door open. He didn't want you to feel though you were forced to talk to him. Sure, you still came on your own accord but Seungkwan was very aware you could leave at any moment. Maybe this was all a dream that he would wake up from?

You seemed to float into his room. Almost like you were magical. You were magic in his eyes. He watched as you entered his room and took a spot at the edge of the bed. He began to replay the memories of other times you've entered his bedroom - after date nights, coming home from the airport, sleepovers. He hesitated at first. Should he sit beside you? Should he remain standing?

"Is this too awkward?" You asked. You fiddled with your fingers as you looked at him. "I can just go, Seungkwan. I mean, I thought maybe this could be a good idea? But I'm starting to think it's not." Before he could even speak, he rushed over to join you on the bed. He sat to your left-hand side. His eyes were trained on you, not wanting to make you uncomfortable and feel overcrowded but also wanted to reassure you that this is what he wanted, what he needed. "No, no, angel. I'm still just surprised you're even here. Sorry, I don't want you to think I don't want you here," he confessed. "I do gotta ask. Why are you here?"

Truth be told, you weren't sure where why you showed up. You never thought you would be back here. Of course, you and Seungkwan did not end up on bad terms. Maybe there was a part of you holding onto hope that things would work out. And hearing from Jeonghan that Seungkwan has been struggling was enough to push you to come over.

"I just wanted to know that you are alright," you admitted.

Seungkwan couldn't help but smile at that sentiment. She still cares about me. He never thought this moment would come. Truthfully, he never even thought you two would cross paths again. He figured he blew any chances of getting back together when he called quits. He wouldn't blame you either.

"Honestly? I'm not okay. I haven't been okay since you left," Seungkwan confessed.

No turning back now. To be honest, Seungkwan didn't realize what he had said until it was already out there. He needed to backup his claims, really show that he meant what he said. He had to make sure you knew how genuine he was. "Look," he began. He grabbed your hand gently. He glanced at you to make sure that what he decided to do was okay. When you didn't pull your hand away, he allowed his thumb to caress your knuckles gently. Seungkwan never thought he would get to be this close to you again. God, I've missed her.

"I let you go because I thought it was best for you. I cannot be the man you need because of my life. Sure, I love the days we spend together but I feel like I spend far too many days without you than with you. I want you to live a happy life, angel. You deserve to have someone who can commit a hundred percent, who you can make a life with rather than follow around. Y/n, I want you to have everything you've ever wanted."

Your eyes were wide. You were looking at him. Not saying anything. Seungkwan wasn't expecting you to respond right away. If you did, he knew that you might reject what he said. However, he also wasn't anticipating the silent between the two of you. The tension in the room was so thick, he felt like he was suffocating.

Please, y/n. Say something.

"Seungkwan," you breathed out. "You've got to be kidding me, right?"

He thought he was about to encounter his worst dream. Instead, he was taken back by sudden movement beside him. Your hand slipped out of his only to be replaced by putting your hands on his shoulders. You moved over from beside him to into his lap, straddling his lap.

Once you were situated, you moved one hand from his shoulder to cup his face. Your thumb ran over his cheek as you gazed into his eyes. He looked up at you like you were made out of diamonds. You have been and always will be the most precious person in his life. His hands situated themselves to hold your waist.

"I'm my happiest when I'm with you. I want you to be happy which is why I walked away. Not because you were right," you admitted. "Somehow, you convinced yourself that I needed to have life figured out right now, but Seungkwan, I don't. I want to figure it out with you though, whatever that looks like. I like that our love story is unequally ours." "But I can't give you weekly date nights, I can't give you a wedding right now." "Wait, what makes you think I want to get married right now?" "Baby, I saw the wedding invitation on your countertop a few weeks ago. You have friends reaching those big milestones but I can't give that to you quite yet because I'm not ready."

You frowned slightly at Seungkwa's words. Not in disappointment. You were saddened to hear that Seungkwan had all this built up frustration and self-doubt that led to you two breaking up.

"Oh, honey. I don't care if my other friends are getting married, having kids, or whatever else is expected out of adults. I just want us. I want us to weather each storm together, to grow up together," you affirmed. "I want you back."

That is all he needed to hear. In a swift movement, Seungkwan switched positions so you were lying on his bed. He grinned when you squealed in surprise. Your laughter was music to his ears. Your arms wrapped around his neck. He kept one hand on your side, the other holding him up. "How about I start making up for lost time?"

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea." You couldn't fight the smile that was curling wide in your lips. It was getting to the point your cheeks began to ache. You could care less. You were right where you wanted to be, where you've been craving.

Slowly, Seungkwan began lowering his face towards yours. His lips grazed yours. Goosebumps ran down your spine with excitement. His lips were about to fully press against when you heard someone clear their throat.

It caused you to jump for which Seungkwan popped up. He squeezed your hip reassuringly as he looked over his shoulder. Seungkwan let out a loud groan and had his head press against the pillow beside you once he saw who it was.

Jeonghan.

"I knew you two would get back together! I am a genius."

You couldn't help but laugh. You turned your head to press a kiss into Seungkwan's cheek.

You missed this.

[tonyspank]

CHAPTER THREE | RECKLESS

Tara Carpenter x G!P Reader x Female OC

Warnings: kissing, fluff, short chapter because i want u guys to be happy one last time

series masterlist | main masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter

SEVEN MONTHS LATER

It's been seven months since Tara and Sam brought you back to their community. You've settled into a routine and formed close bonds with the people there. Life has become more stable, and you feel a sense of belonging that you haven't felt in a long time. The community has become your new family, and you couldn't be more grateful for Tara and Sam.

Sometimes you'd go on supply runs; other times you'd take out groups of walkers, clearing the area around the community to ensure everyone's safety. The once terrifying world has become a place where you can make a difference, and you're determined to protect your new family at all costs.

You've grown close to Sidney, Tara, and Ethan the most. Sidney has become the aunt you've never had, always offering wise advice and comforting you during tough times. Ethan has become like a brother to you, always looking out for your well-being and making sure you never feel alone.

While Tara...she's... you don't even know how to explain it. She's a close friend, but at times it feels like there's something more to that, a deeper connection that you can't quite put into words. There's a magnetic pull between the two of you, an unspoken understanding that transcends friendship. It's both exhilarating and terrifying, leaving you questioning the boundaries of your relationship and what it could potentially become.

But, you don't want to risk anything. Especially since Iris is here. It feels weird to move on from her because, since the start of this apocalypse, the only thing you could think of was Iris and how much you missed your girlfriend. But, it doesn't seem like she feels the same way. You'd catch her and Chad being intimate and affectionate, making it clear that she has moved on.

Heather told you that Chad and Iris have been a complicated couple since they met at the community. Iris was stuck on you while Chad was pursuing her relentlessly. He even saved her life one day on a dangerous mission, which made her start to develop feelings for him. It's painful to accept, but it seems like Iris has found happiness with Chad, and it's time for you to do the same.

It's hard to accept that Iris has chosen someone else, but you know deep down that you can't force someone to feel a certain way. You deserve someone who loves you wholeheartedly and reciprocates your feelings. It may be difficult now, but with time, you will find someone who appreciates and cherishes you just as much as you do them.

"Ouch!" You grunt out, landing on your back. Ethan smiles at you, panting as he holds out a hand to help you up. You send him a playful glare before taking his hand and allowing him to pull you up. "How are you so good at close-range combat?"

You ask, still catching your breath. Ethan chuckles and says, "Cop dad. He taught me a few moves growing up," he explains, wiping the sweat off his forehead. "But ever since, you know, the dead and stuff, he's been on my ass about it."

You hum in response, "That's nice. Officer Bailey seems like a nice guy...when he's not sulking around the place." Ethan nods in agreement, a hint of sadness in his eyes. "Yeah, he's been through a lot. Losing Mom really hit him hard. But he's trying his best to keep us safe and sane in this messed up world."

You give him a sympathetic smile, understanding the weight Officer Bailey carries on his shoulders. Despite the tough exterior, you can see the love and dedication he has for his family.

"C'mon! Chop, chop." Dewey says, interrupting your conversation and urging you two to spar more. You and Ethan exchange a knowing glance before playfully rolling your eyes at Dewey's impatience. You hold up your fists again, ready to continue the sparring session.

After about twenty more minutes of sparring, the session is finally over, and you're sitting cross-legged on the grass, catching your breath. Dewey walks over, a satisfied grin on his face, and pats both you and Ethan on the back. "Great job, guys," he says. "You're really improving." You exchange a proud smile with Ethan as Dewey walks away.

"I have a very serious question." You look at Ethan, curious about what he's going to ask. "What is it?" you reply, eager to hear what's on his mind. "Did you take my pudding from inventory?" You raise an eyebrow in surprise at Ethan's question. "Your pudding? No, I didn't take it," you answer honestly, wondering why he would think that.

Ethan thins out his lips, eyeing you suspiciously. He then sighs as he senses your genuine confusion. "It must've been Chad then! Ever since we've been returning from supply runs, every single one of my sweet snacks has disappeared." You tilt your head, considering Ethan's accusation. "Chad? Are you sure it's him?" you ask, curious about the possible culprit.

Ethan nods, frustration evident on his face. "I've noticed him eyeing my snacks before, and he always seems to have a guilty look when I ask about them," he explains. You hum a bit before turning your head to Tara, who was walking down the community's street, looking bored as ever.

"I'll talk to you later, E." Ethan nods in response, a small smile playing on his lips as he watches you jog over to Tara. "Hey, Tara."

"Hey, what's up?" Tara responds, smiling at you. "Not much, just wanted to ask if you maybe wanna hang out outside the walls for a bit." Tara shrugs, her smile never fading. "Sure, why not?"

"Cool, let me just shower, and I'll be ready to go." You quickly make your way back to your house, taking a quick shower before meeting up with Tara again. She greets you with a warm smile, her excitement evident in her eyes. "Ready?" she asks, her voice filled with anticipation.

You nod eagerly, "Mhm." You wave at Officer Hicks, who salutes back to you, opening the gate for you and Tara to exit the walls. You and Tara start walking away from the community, stealing glances at each other every now and then.

"I actually have a surprise for you." You say, breaking the comfortable silence. Tara raises an eyebrow, looking at you. Curiosity sparkles in her eyes as she waits for you to reveal the surprise. "Well, remember how you mentioned you liked horror movies?" you begin, a mischievous grin spreading across your face.

"I found this abandoned movie theatre not too far from here. Ethan helped me clean it up and fix the projector. We can have our own private horror movie marathon today."

Tara's eyes widen with thrill as she realizes the surprise. "You're lying!" she exclaims, her smile matching your mischievous grin. The two of you quicken your pace, eager to reach the movie theatre and begin your thrilling movie night.

"What's your favorite scary movie?" You ask Tara in a Ghostface mask, trying your best to imitate the iconic killer from the Stab franchise. Tara giggles and playfully pretends to be scared, but then responds, "Hmm, I think I'll have to go with It Follows. Elevated horror is where it's at."

You take off the mask, tilting your head. "Really? Elevated horror? What about Friday the 13th? Jason is a classic." Tara shrugs, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Sure, Jason is iconic, but I prefer the psychological depth and thought-provoking themes of films like It Follows. It's all about the slow-burning suspense for me."

"You're lucky you're cute." Tara chuckles and playfully nudges you. "Well, I guess my good looks give me an advantage in our horror movie debates." She winks, teasingly adding, "But hey, maybe one day I'll convince you to appreciate elevated horror too."

"Blah, blah, blah." You say, walking further into the movie theatre, ending up at a snack bar. You lean against it as Tara continues her argument about elevated horror. "Jason is just a mindless slasher. It Follows actually makes you think and keeps you on the edge of your seat." Tara playfully sticks her tongue out at you, daring you to challenge her taste in horror movies.

Rolling your eyes, you retort, "Please, Tara. A classic slasher film like Friday the 13th is a timeless masterpiece. It's all about the thrill and suspense, not overanalyzing every single detail. But hey, I'll give It Follows a chance if it means shutting you up for once." Tara giggles, knowing that you're just playing along and secretly enjoying the ongoing debates between you two.

You turn around, facing the snack bar, and reach for the old and expired candy box, that's probably been there since before the apocalypse. Your heart skips a beat when Tara does the same, your hands touching.

You both exchange a quick glance, causing a slight blush to creep onto your cheeks. It's in these small moments that you realize there might be something more than just friendly banter between you and Tara.

"You can have them." You tell Tara, chuckling a bit. She smiles, placing the box of candy in your hand. "Take them." You shake your head, "No, uh," you interrupt yourself with your own laugh. "If you want them, you have them." You set down the box of candy in front of Tara, who quickly picks it up, holding it in front of you.

"You think I want these?" Tara raises an eyebrow playfully, her eyes sparkling. She breaks eye contact with you as you stare at her, a lingering smile on your face. "Kind of..."

"They're like one hundred years old." she jokes, setting them back down. "Maybe that's your thing," she mutters, finally glancing back at your eyes.

The two of you stare at each other, caught in a moment of playful tension. The air between you is charged with unspoken words and a hint of curiosity. It's as if time has momentarily frozen, allowing the anticipation to build. Both of you are aware of the unspoken connection, wondering where it might lead.

It's been a while since you've been truly happy with someone, so happy that your cheeks hurt from smiling so much, so lost in the trance of the woman in front of you. She was perfect. Her perfect hair, her perfect eyebrows, her perfect eyes, her perfect nose, her perfect lips. Everything about her seemed meticulously crafted to perfection.

You smile wider at yourself, glancing between her eyes and her lips. Tara's heart has never felt this alive, pulsating with newfound energy. She knows she's attracted to you, that much is sure, but there's something more than just physical attraction.

It's the way you listen intently to every word she says and the way you laugh at her jokes as if they're the funniest things you've ever heard. There's a connection between you that goes beyond surface-level beauty, and it's that deep emotional bond that truly sets you apart from anyone else she's ever met.

But she's also scared. She's scared to get attached to you more than she already is and lose you to the walkers that lurk in the shadows. The fear of losing you to something beyond her control haunts her, making her hesitant to fully embrace the connection she feels.

She knows that the world is unpredictable and filled with dangers, and the thought of losing you to those uncertainties terrifies her. It's not that she doesn't want to fully embrace the connection, but rather, she's grappling with her own vulnerabilities and the fear of being left alone in a world that feels increasingly unstable.

However, another part of her says to do it. Take the risk and allow her to be happy, even if it's just for a second. Tara takes a deep breath, "I actually—"

She's cut off by you connecting your lips with hers, and in that moment, all her fears and uncertainties melt away. The warmth of your embrace reassures her that maybe, just maybe, taking the risk was worth it after all. Her hands grip your face, pulling you closer if that were possible, you wrap your arms around her body, holding her tightly as if she's going to fade away.

As your lips part, an intoxicating sense of contentment lingers in the air. Tara stares into your eyes, a hint of tears reflecting the depth of her gratitude. In that electrifying moment, she realizes that she has found something she never thought possible—a passion that is boundless and worth every ounce of risk. With a smile curving on her lips, she whispers, "What took you so long?"

You chuckle softly, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "I finally thought of that heartfelt thank you," you reply, your voice filled with bliss. Tara giggles, her laughter filling the air like music. "I can't believe you remember that."

She leans in closer, bringing you into another quick and simple kiss. When she pulls away, her eyes glance between yours, her hand trailing your facial features. "I'm scared of losing you."

You gently take her hand in yours, reassuringly squeezing it. "I promise you, Tara, I'm not going anywhere," you say sincerely, your voice filled with love and determination. She smiles softly, her fears momentarily eased by your words.

"I actually do have a question." You tilt your head, waiting for her to continue. "Was...Iris the only person you had before...the outbreak?" You pause for a moment, memories of the past flooding your mind.

"Kind of...yeah. It's always just been Iris and her family. I actually met Iris a few months after my adoptive mother passed away...she was the first person I connected with after such a difficult loss. We quickly became each other's support system, and we started dating a bit after that.." You pause, a bittersweet smile on your face, as you recall the bond you share with Iris. "I'm just glad she's okay."

Tara nods, her eyes filled with understanding. "Thank you for telling me." You appreciate Tara's empathy and the safe space she has created for you to share your story. It feels good to have someone who listens and understands without judgment.

"You're finally back!" Heather says, bursting through your front door. You turn toward Heather, a smile spreading across your face. "I am." Heather lets out a loud groan, "Then can you please watch Iris? I'm supposed to be hanging out with Amber."

You furrow your eyebrows, "What's wrong with Iris?" You ask, concerned about Heather's sudden change in attitude towards Iris. Heather sighs and rolls her eyes, "She's sick, and she's been acting really cranky all day. I just need a break from her for a little while. So! Now that you're off your date with tiny Tara, can you watch her?"

You blush, "It wasn't a date," you mutter, not convincing Heather one bit. "But sure, I can watch Iris for a bit. Is there anything specific I should know or do while taking care of her?"

Heather shakes her head and says, "Not really, just make sure she takes her medicine and gets plenty of rest. She's been running a fever, so keep an eye on that too." You nod, assuring Heather that you'll take good care of Iris.

Heather exits your house, causing Amber to rise, "She said yes?" Amber asks her girlfriend, who nods in response. "Mhm," Amber continues, "I can't believe you're still trying to play cupid with Y/N and Iris. I'm pretty sure Y/N really likes Tara."

"Well, you never know. Sometimes feelings can change unexpectedly. Besides, Y/N did agree to take care of Iris, so maybe there's still a chance for them." Amber rolls her eyes playfully and says, "Sure, babe."

You knock on Iris's door, and a faint, "Come in." follows your knock. As you enter, you see Iris lying in bed, a wet washcloth on her forehead. You walk over to Iris and ask, "How are you feeling?" She looks up at you with a weak smile and replies, "I'm still not feeling great, but the washcloth is helping a bit." You sit down beside her and say, "I brought you some soup. Maybe it'll help you feel better."

You help her sit up, supporting her back with a pillow. Iris gratefully accepts the soup and takes a few spoonfuls, savoring the warmth and nourishment. She looks at you appreciatively and says, "Thank you so much for taking care of me." You smile and reassure her, "Of course, I'll always be here for you."

"Did Heather set you up to this?" She asks, a faint smile on her lips. You chuckle and shake your head, "Yeah, but still, I just wanted to make sure you're okay." Iris's smile widens, and she says, "Well, I'm lucky to have you in my life."

"Remember when Heather got sick and we all took turns taking care of her? It's nice to see that we have each other's backs." Iris says, not making eye contact with you. You start laughing, And it turns out she was faking the whole thing."

Iris's brows furrow, "What?" Your eyes widen, and your jaw drops. "Yeah, she admitted it later. I didn't know she didn't tell you." Iris's smile fades, replaced by a look of disbelief. "I can't believe she would do something like that. That's really messed up."

"I mean...she did have to run the mile that day, I'd do the same thing." You shrug, trying to lighten the mood. "Well, I guess we all have our own ways of avoiding running." Iris chuckles, shaking her head. "Yeah, but faking sick behind my back? That's a whole new level." You both laugh, finding peace in the moment.

Iris puts down her soup and stares at you. "You look happy." You smile back at Iris and reply, "Yeah, I guess I am. It feels good to just relax and have a laugh with you. You look like shit, though."

Iris chuckles and rolls her eyes. "Thanks, I appreciate the honesty. It's been a rough day." You nod sympathetically, understanding that it's because of her sickness. "Maybe you should try and sleep." You suggest, helping her lie back down. Iris sighs and nods, her eyes showing exhaustion.

"Yeah, maybe you're right. I could use some rest." You tuck her in and dim the lights, creating a soothing atmosphere. "I'll stay here with you until you fall asleep," you offer, hoping to provide some comfort during her rough day.

"You could lay down too..." Iris mumbles, her voice trailing off as she starts to drift off. You hesitate for a moment, considering her suggestion, before deciding to join her. As you lie down next to her, you feel a sense of closeness and reassurance, knowing that your presence brings her some ease.

Iris places her head on your chest, listening to the steady rhythm of your heartbeat. The sound lulls her into a deeper state of relaxation, and you can feel her tension slowly melting away. You gently stroke her hair, and mutter, "You better not get me sick."

Iris chuckles softly, her voice barely audible as she whispers, "Don't worry, I'll take care of you if that happens."

When Iris finally falls asleep, it's late at night. You slip from her grasp and leave, making your way to the inventory to see if there's any tea that could help her. Your heart drops when you see a figure standing in the dimly lit room, their back turned towards you.

They turn around quickly, and you let out a sigh, allowing yourself to relax. "Richie, you scared the hell out of me." Richie chuckles and apologizes, "Sorry about that. I didn't mean to startle you." Your eyes fall to the basket in his hands.

He notices speaking up, "Gale asked me to get this." You hum, "Do you have any tea? Iris is sick." Richie nods sympathetically and says, "Yeah, yeah. Here." He reaches into the basket and hands you a small packet of tea. "I hope this helps," he says with a warm smile.

Richie then walks away, basket in hand, leaving you standing there, thankful and confused. Maybe he was the one who stole Ethan's snacks.

[cripplecharacters]

Hi! I won't be put out if you don't answer this question, but I figured I may as well ask. For context, I am a disabled fanfic writer who's irritated by the casual ableism in my fandoms, and this blog is a big inspiration and help to me in doing my little part to represent accurately.

The fandom I'm talking about here is Hermitcraft, if that helps anyone get the jist of this. The vast majority of the characters are seen/shown as some kind of non-human or animal person, and that's how I like to show them too. There's one character, named Cleo, who's some kind of zombie-type creature in canon. She's loud, competent, snarky but still a great friend, and a talented designer.

Is it ever ableist to give Cleo a facial difference, as opposed to a different disability or condition? (It is normal in this fandom to assign characters disabilities in fics if you want, except for a few cases where the creators say they don't want specific characters given some category of condition.) I am concerned about her specifically because of her zombie-ness in canon, which is always treated as a cool and fun design feature by the fandom but still could be/look like equating a facial difference with something bad. Obviously I intend to write her having a FD in a canon setting, if I do it, as unrelated to her zombie-ness and a neutral/positive aspect of her. Is this specific issue (potential ableism) improved if she's one of a handful of characters with FDs or disabilities, or does that not help here? If it's an AU setting where all the characters are human and Cleo has an FD, is that better or worse than being in canon? (I am not at all interested in writing about discrimination, so assume there's no real-world-typical disfiguremisia at play.)

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this!

Hi,

while I appreciate wanting to include facial differences in all kinds of characters, zombies are... not great. Casting the rather uncastable fact of them being monsters aside, the popular depiction of zombies is full of connections to real life disabilities and facial differences. Think of the average zombie in Any Movie Ever; drooling, limping, eyes unaligned, missing noses, lacking teeth. These are all features that disabled people have, but in the zombie context they're used as a shock, grossness, or humor factor; sometimes they're literally based on real disabled people because why not I guess... I don't want to be like "don't ever write a zombie with a disability/FD" but on its own it leaves a bit of a bad taste in my mouth. I know people with facial differences that have been called a "zombie" because of their facial difference. TLDR; it's just the 1 billion years of ableist connotations, not something about this character specifically or the way you are portraying her - the monstrous association is beyond any single person's control, the point is to just not propagate it further - I just don't think it's a good idea, regardless of your clearly good intentions (which I do appreciate).

(The above applies to visible physical disabilities - I don't think there would be a problem having a zombie character who is autistic or has chronic pain?)

As much as I enjoy facially different fantasy creatures, zombies (or mutants, stuff like that) just aren't ideal choices in my opinion. There are some exceptions, so to illustrate;

if you were writing a fanfic for Zombie Land Saga, where all the main characters are zombies, and you gave Lily Waardenburg syndrome, then that's not a problem - everyone's a zombie and one of them happens to have an FD, just like it happens to humans. That's cool.

if you're writing a fanfic where there's one character with a facial difference, and they're a monster, that's a problem. We aren't a different species, certainly not a monster one - I don't want to ramble on the whole "real life minority being a separate fantasy race" thing, but that's another potential problem that'd be hard to ignore.

From my understanding, she isn't the only character with a facial difference, which is good. If you do decide to have Cleo be a zombie with an FD, I would just try to be aware of what kinds of characters end up having them - are they all monster, or monster-adjacent? Or some other scary creatures? Do any of the traditionally cute characters have facial differences? etc. Look out for patterns.

If she was a human with an FD, I don't see any issue here - and if she was the only zombie with an FD surrounded by humans without FDs, that's... not great. It's a weird association, even if you're not trying to make it. Other species that aren't zombies or humans could also be cool. A character with FD who's a catgirl or some sort of aquatic creature would be fun! Even a skeleton would be better than a zombie (they're not associated with the above stereotypes at all in my experience, plus skeletons are more funny than scary lol. I've never seen a disabled skeleton, I think, IDK).

I hope this helps! Feel free to send another ask if you have another question

mod Sasza

edit after the replies: I'm not familiar with the source material quite literally at all, but if this is a real life thing then please don't give actual people facial differences in fanfiction (opinions on RPF aside.)

[itsscromp]

Hi, I have a Rocket request. Can you do something before vol 1 where he meets reader and they are really kind to him, but no one's never be this kind except from Groot, so it takes some time for him to trust them and "get used" to it.

Kindness goes a long way

AWWWW, this is a super cute anon, I love this idea so much. Rocket don't you worry buddy, you'll have another best friend and you won't even know it. Word count:1K

All his life, all Rocket knew was pain... He lost his friends in the worst way possible, which made him closed off and angry. Pushing away anyone who tried to get close to him as he always knew they would just hurt them again. He then met Groot and then began to slowly open up. He knew because Groot wasn't the type to judge anyone. But then he met you.

He and Groot were trying to nab a bounty one night before they were beaten to it by you.

"Hey come on kid, that was our bounty" He snarled at you.

"I didn't see your name on it" You smirked at him.

He growled at you before Groot placed a hand on his shoulder, to make sure he didn't lunge at you and hurt you.

"Tell you what, I'm feeling generous tonight. How about we claim it together, split the reward evenly" You offered them.

Groot happily accepted it, but Rocket was hesitant, No one, especially in bounty hunting shared the reward with him. Usually, it was every man for themself, but it didn't seem to be that with you. But for now, he agreed.

"If as so you change your mind on this humie..."

"I never back away on my promises furball" You playfully scolded.

He grumbled to himself as you three then went to collect the reward, when you split the amount with the two, Groot then suggested...

"I am Groot" (Maybe They should join us)

"What absolutely no way driftwood, we ain't adding no more to the crew" Rocket shot the idea down as soon as he did.

"But I mean... He's kinda right though, I have seen you two in action before. Your brains, He's the brawn and I could potentially be your eyes to new bounties that you two probably would never get" You counter offered.

"Ok first off you understand what he's saying ??"

"Universal translator" You tapped the side of your head.

"I am Groot" (Rocket they would be a valuable asset with us) Groot continued to convince him.

Rocket rolled his eyes and thought about it for a bit.

"You got a name kid ??"

"Y/n L/n"

"Well... Don't get too comfortable, cause If I see you doing anything funny, I will shoot you"

But nevertheless, you were now officially a part of their little group, looking out for more bounties. But you pulled your weight along the ship too, Sometimes Rocket would be taken aback by your random acts of kindess.

"Oh flark I forgot to fix the cooler" He quickly tried to rush for it.

"It's ok, I fixed it earlier. I thought it'll help take the load off of you" You kindly smiled at him.

"Whatever I could've done it anyway" He scoffed.

Or when one morning you made him breakfast.

"Here you go" You handed him a plate of bacon and eggs.

"I ain't hungry humie" He shoved the plate away from him.

"Dude we got a huge bounty to collect tonight, you can't do that on an empty stomach can we ??" You once again kindly smiled at him.

"Ugh... fine" He muttered as he began to slowly eat.

And when you helped find his missing bomb project.

"Come on come on where did I put it !!!!" He growled as he tore almost half the ship apart to find it.

"What's wrong buddy ??" You tilted your head in confusion.

"First of you and I ain't buddies or pals. Secondly I need to find the bomb I was working on before it blows the damn ship in half !!"

"Ok calm down... Where did you leave it last ??"

"I put it right their next to the crate and when I came back it was gone.

"Oooh was that it ??, I thought it was some sort of gadget, I just moved it to the gadgets cabinet just in case, Sorry about that"

He grumbled a bit as he went to retrieve the bomb, but he was... kinda grateful that it didn't become a tripping hazard to neither you or Groot.

As this went on, he began to very slowly warm up to you and your gestures. Maybe he was wrong about you. Maybe you weren't like the other people he had faced in his life... you were different...

One night when it was your turn for rotation on the cockpit, he then went to join you.

"Seat taken ??" He tried to joke.

"It's ok" You chuckled as an indicator that he could sit.

He joined in with you gazing at the cosmos and fiddling with his thumbs for a little bit until finally gathering the courage.

"Y/n... I'm sorry for the way I treated ya during the beginning, It's just... No one has ever been this... kind to me in my life before... It made me... Really scared.."

"Scared ??" You turned to him, asking in a non judgmental way.

"Scared that..." He hesitated to say it. this was already big for him enough, as soon as he began his sentence, he began to stutter.

"Hey hey... It's ok... If you're not ready to talk about it then that's ok, I'm not forcing you to. You kindly smiled at him.

He then took a deep breath in relief. "What I'm trying to get at kid is... I'm sorry for the way I treated you from the start... Do you think we can start over ??" He looked at you.

You could see it in his eyes he really misjudged you, He really wanted to start over again. "Of course... Partner" You raised your fist for a fist bump.

He grinned soon after and gladly returned it. "Yeah, partner"

For the rest of the night, the two got to know each other properly and even engaged in some playful banter with each other, which made Rocket smile, something that very rarely happens.

Then soon after that, what turned from a simple partnership was turned into an amazing friendship. You two would have each other's backs for life.

Taglist: @callofdudes @fun-k-board

[archonfurina]

why do you ship neuvifuri? /g this ship is just lost on me because i didn’t read any of their interactions as romantic — i just wanna understand why it’s such a popular ship 😭😭😭

Hii okay so I don't usually like 'defending' my otp but because you seem to genuinely want to know I'll answer. But I'm also curious if you ship anyone in Fontaine because none of them had any romantic interactions. Least of all Neuvillette. But anyway, the following are my own opinions and I can't say if everyone else sees them the same way.

I put off doing Fontaine questline for months, because I had lost interest in Genshin so I missed all fandom reactions etc, I don't know how popular whatever ships are. When I finally played it, I was neutral about things until the final archon quest. When that Focalors cutscene happened with Neuvillette, my eyes kinda opened. I shipped them first before Neuvifuri. His openly shocked/upset/devastated reactions to her were something new, since he hardly emoted before and we hadn't really seen his feelings. And the way he talked about Furina to Focalors, with so much concern and care for her because she's only human with such a huge burden. So then I went on my other account and replayed the whole questline to record it for gifs, because I'd fallen in love with Furina and her story.

They ruled Fontaine together for 400 years. Furina called Neuvillette to serve as the Iudex (though it was Focalors' idea), and Furina taught him to love humanity and open himself up to people. He's like her familiar the way Dvalin is Venti's and Yae Miko is Ei's. Whether it's platonic or romantic, they're each other's most important person and they love and care for each other. In the AQ, Neuvillette becomes increasingly frustrated with Furina because she isn't letting him in and is being secretive. Yet he keeps closing his eyes (literally, in some cases) to Furina's pain, like he's done for hundreds of years.

Neuvillette is enchanted by Furina's performances on stage, and wanted her to return there in Furina's story quest, and said his appreciation of her was always genuine and he wishes she knew that. Even in his voice line about her he says if she were to return to the stage, he would attend the performance and give her his heartfelt applause.

He gave her a special vision, possibly the first vision since he gained his full powers. If you look closer, it has dragon claws on it.

In the AQ, Furina fooling the heavenly principles wouldn't have worked without Neuvillette. He forgave the people of Fontaine and together they prevented the prophecy. Even though it was all Focalor's plan, and Furina did the hardest part, if Furina hadn't made Neuvillette care for the people it wouldn't have worked.

Immediately after the AQ when Furina had to leave Palais Mermonia, he got her a new apartment, and he said he will provide her with food, clothing, travel, whatever she wants. Meanwhile Furina's voice lines say it's been a while since she went to the Palais and that she thinks it's better for the both of them. Ouch. She's even avoiding him in Liyue.

There's insane angst and potential for a tragic ship. Furina lied to him for centuries, and now thinks it's better if they don't meet. She was incredibly lonely yet she couldn't confide in him, her closest friend. She's now mortal as well, whereas Neuvillette is a dragon. So she can actually get hurt, and die.

Plus they're beautiful together. They have matching color schemes, height difference, they have amazing synergy in combat. Their in-game abilities complement each other. Like they were made for each other.

[bengiyo]

BENGIYO'S Send Me a Ship and I'll Share My Thoughts

Just saw your reply to the Ask about Akk and Ayan from The Eclipse and it was such a good read! (I've only been on Tumblr sporadically these past few weeks because of work, and it pains me I've missed so much good stuff.) 😔

Anyway, this got me thinking about Only Friends. I liked some bits but on the overall it disappointed me. I could ask about any ship in there, but let's focus on one: what do you think about TopMew?

Apologies if this has already been Asked; do point me to it if it has! 🤩

Hello, good sir! I'm always honored when you take the time to reach out. I'll try to be thorough for your sake.

Just like with the last ask, I am putting a disclaimer here for the FB girlies, I am talking about Mew and Top as characters.

I think Top is a poorly-written character because the show never decided what they exactly wanted him to be, and this is best shown when Boeing returns. Boeing wants Mew to team up with him to fuck with Top, but we never get what Boeing wanted and what Top wants between either of them.

The show intentionally keeps Top enigmatic the entire time. We don't know if he's serious about the sleeping thing until the fire scene in the end. We all thought he was getting high at one point. So much of what's wrong with Top is wrapped up in what's going on with what Mew wants, and because Mew is also a difficult character to read we are never certain what the deal is with them.

All we really seem to understand about Mew is that he is a status chaser. His primary reason for being with Top seems to be the prestige that comes with having Top want to be with him, or how Top stepping out on him embarrasses him. In fact, the strongest actions Mew takes in the entire show are about punishing Boston or punishing Top. He can't even fully-commit to that. He gets bored and tired of it it, and then just decides to be with Top.

I just really don't get Mew by the end. What is the source of his beef with Boston? This child was raised by lesbians, so why does he have such hangups around purity? Why does he care so much about his perceived status when we know he wants to get fucked by pretty boys so bad that we end on a tag of him looking at Mix?

A good comparison for my issues with Top and Mew can be found in La Pluie with Saengtai and Phat. We understand the core of Saengtai's issues. He is a selfish reader of romantic fiction and virgin, who's punishing his rain-mate because his parents got a divorce. The fact that we know so little about Phat works in this story because we know what we need: he's a kind man who is doing everything he can to show Saengtai that he is willing to make a relationship work because he thinks Saengtai is worth it.

On the other hand, OF constantly asks us to question the motives of Top, and so by being so nonspecific about Mew and properly interrogating him as a character, we're asked to just make it up. When they go for the most dramatic stuff, such as kicking Boston and fighting in the pool, seducing Drake and his ears and eyebrows to lord over Boston, punching Ray out in a bar to later embarrass Top right before sex, smirking over Boston's issues with Atom, and then finally telling Boston to go fuck himself....What is the core of this? Why is he the leader of this group?

I don't get Mew, honestly. I think he is a wobbly character. Book is very pretty. He plays the virgin well. Force has a great face, and he plays a douche-who-might-not-want-to-be really well. I don't think these guys' characters are written on a solid base and so their characters never landed for me.

So yeah, I really don't like Mew, and I don't think Top feels real enough to have firm feelings about him. I can construct a version of them in my mind as that pair that's always fighting but won't break up. I can imagine that Top was serious about wanting to settle down and seeing real potential in the idea of Mew, but that's just me fanwanking. I don't think the show gave me enough solid emotional beats for me to connect anything real to them.

Send Me a Ship And I'll Share My Thoughts

[boag]

Lol so I wanted to research to make a proper argument & now I'm actually convinced pitbulls should be banned so hear me out because I <3 dogs & if I'm missing something I want to know. From what I just read, pitbulls were bred by humans to be fighting dogs so they have genetic instincts that make them attack very aggressively & be unfazed by their own pain (they literally won't stop attacking even after being tazed & in some cases shot like wtf😭) - in comparison Rottweilers were bred to protect & are super intelligent so they can be trained very well & won't randomly attack despite their potential to be aggressive. It doesn't look like pitbulls can actually be trained cuz they're the only breed that consistently mauls their own owners (even the ones who by all accounts were great owners) & they don't bark/act aggressive to give any kind of warning sign before they attack - dog breeds that attack out of fear or to defend themselves give warning signs to scare off the perceived threat. pitbulls account for 66% of fatal dog attacks which is wildddd (Rottweilers come in 2nd @ 10% which is such a LARGEE margin that it can't be a coincidence) & no other breed constantly shows good behavior before randomly snapping then literally shredding a kid's faces off. Idk what do you think about this? (<3 u btw)

My main concern with the idea of banning pitbulls is just…. What would that even entail? Are they just all supposed to be euthanized? The US is already full of pitbulls, often mistreated or left in cages almost their entire lives before being killed in shelters. I would just greatly prefer to see a future where we have a better solution than to kill all of these animals, especially when many are raised well by owners who understand the risks and do the best they can and they never do attack, or if they do their owner’s are prepared to handle it. Pitbulls have always been very popular pets in all the areas I’ve lived so I’ve seen them be aggressive but I’ve also seen a ton of them be gentle and sweet and live full happy lives without hurting anyone. The idea of eradicating them has never sat right with me.

There must be something else we can do to protect people without outlawing an entire breed of dogs. I’ve also seen beagles attack unprompted, including a beloved family pet who had to be put down after she mauled my cousin’s face when she was a toddler and a neighbor’s pet who jumped up onto a trampoline with us and mauled my mom leaving her gushing blood and covered in bruises. Should beagles be outlawed? This is all coming from someone who had a traumatic experience when I was 15 where my best friend’s pitbull mix locked his jaw around my hand and tore it almost in half, but we weren’t careful. We were drunk and messing with him and there were warning signs he showed for a couple minutes beforehand like growling and acting scared but my friend was being goofy and dumb and kept mimicking his growl and playing with him which is what caused him to attack me. And the craziest thing is that he showed remorse for over a year. Every time I saw him after he kept his distance and bowed his head to me and even cried and I’m not friends with that girl anymore for other reasons but I have friends who are and as far as I know she still has him and he never attacked anyone again…. They are such intelligent beautiful creatures and I don’t think they’re unsaveable. I think people need to know the risks of having one and be prepared.

[gods-of-mischief]

What happened with: Maybe we could figure it out together? [Thoughts after S02E06]

My impressions of the story that I loved so much and that destroyed me so emotionally.

Yes, the second series is brilliant outside - great acting, visuals, music, epic finale. Yeah, it's beautiful at first and I can understand so much excitement and ovations about how great it is. But… when I look at the first series and compare it to the second, there are so many things missing. Damn it!

First season had soul, the creators focused mostly on the characters, on their growth, on emotions, on details, on the play of colors. For example, the scene in the Citadel and the conversation between Sylvie and Loki… absolutely breathtaking scene that they turned into a farce in the second series. (When HWR had erased Sylvie from the scene it was so gross it almost made me jump out of my chair.) At what point did a show that was about two people and their journey become a show about one person? What happened with "You go. I go.", "Maybe… maybe we could figure it out together."?

Why did Marvel put out a novelization confirming their feelings for each other, all that unspoken words, if they didn't want to work with that relationship properly in the second season? The relationship between those two was the heart of the entire first season. Yes, Loki was looking for Sylvie… yes, he was looking at her with his sad puppy eyes every time he saw her… but so what… for what? If they never once discussed about things - what happened, about their feelings, anything about them at all? And at the end, out of the blue, "I'm doing it for you"… but all the time without you.

They use his love for her to learn to control the slippage, to work things out, to sacrifice everything for her and for his friends. But when has Loki ever had time to truly be friend anyone other than Mobius? Yeah, they were dealing with the same problem, but before his "rewriting the story", those people were almost strangers to him… and he sits there with Sylvie at the bar and tells her that he's all about his friends… where some deeper relationship is pulled out of absolutely nowhere.

They both mutually think the other doesn't need the other in their lives anymore, and the way Loki handles everything on his own makes it seem that way. Still, it's Sylvie who makes him start to change why he does what he does along the way. So why wasn't there a scene where he finally fills her in properly on all of this? Why did they show us that he "trying everything" at the Citadel when it didn't seem like that at all, and make Sylvie out to be some obsessed murderess who can't see or hear what's going on around her? Why were there so many allusions to enchantment when they never used it to allow Sylvie to finally fully understand Loki? And I can think of more and more questions like that! I don't even want to imagine what the "real memories" Loki left in Sylvie's head after all this.

I also don't understand how they made the main female character a completely peripheral character that they clearly didn't know how to handle or lead. They had her thrown in for a twist here and there, but otherwise they had her there for decoration? Such an interesting character that they turned into a looped figure that doesn't understand what's going on. A side character who just stood on the sidelines for nothing? The girl was a goddess, just like Loki, so what the hell? That's how untapped the potential is. It was a pain to watch and especially in the finale. Sophia, I'm really sorry. You and Sylvie deserved so much better. That mysogyny was disgusting.

I really tried to take all the episodes with a grain of salt, expecting that there was surely a reason… that everything would somehow become clear, that I couldn't judge without the whole context… but the whole picture just confirmed to me that the creators were just pushing the story and the characters into situations that absolutely missed the fundamentals of the first series.

Yes, it could have had exactly the ending it had, if it had to be. But the path should have been different. Why does he have close people around him and then he is alone in everything? I stand by the fact that this should have been handled by both of them. That they should have either ended up there "at the end of time" together or they should have given them some kind of goodbye, a scene where they talk about it, where Loki tells her he doesn't want her to go there with him, that he wants her to live (like when it was in NWH between Peter and MJ, for example, when he told her what was going on, what he had to do and they dealt with it together) or a scene where Sylvie was free to make her own decision. She should have been able to decide and have a say in all of this.

For me, this build-up was unprecedentedly cruel to them from start to finish. I have to say that the ending made me cry, and I can count on one hand the number of times I've cried at a movie or TV show. This completely destroyed me, how long nothing. What was it supposed to give me? No matter what I do, it will never be enough? Will I have to lose everything I want and live with my biggest fears forever? Or?

So… in summary, if you're all about the epic story and not the characters and real relationships, you'll probably be thrilled… otherwise, you might have the same mixed feelings as I did. I know that Marvel is no soap opera… but they often present love and relationships in a very painful way, I get really sick of it sometimes. It's not always about epic twists and sacrifices…

I'm still here. I love Sylki, I love Tom and Sophia. But the second season hurts like hell. I don't even know if I want to see it again. To be honest, I don't even know how to deal with it. Is there any hope? Who knows… it's getting harder and harder to hope.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hello! It has been fun reading all the different theories and directions chapter 7 can take as well as your thoughts on it! I was also surprised that Lilia announced his departure so soon, and while so far I am personally inclined to believe him about his powers fading due to age, I do wonder if Lilia could be testing Malleus in some way or teaching him a life lesson. Death is a natural part of life, and with the long lifespan of the fae, Malleus is bound to deal with the loss of loved ones/people in general 😔, especially as the next ruler. Lilia could be testing how Malleus reacts to loss as it could be an issue when he takes the crown. That being said, I don't think that Lilia is trying to induce an overblot (but well, who knows haha), but rather highlight the fact that life is not permanent (even for fae) and this cannot be changed (probably), and therefore life and time spent together should be treasured.

Personally, I believe that part of why Malleus is in school is to forge connections but also possibly to learn how to say goodbye (when he graduates), and to treasure the time spent together with peers even if they are not permanent. This is just my interpretation, but Malleus appears to struggle with perceiving time and living in the present moment. As such, he occasionally misses out on opportunities to bond with others or connect with the world. This is likely because he is fae but Lilia does not appear to struggle as much regarding this, so there could be other reasons 🤔. He doesn't appear to value time as much as others do (e.g. dismissing 3 months of internship because it's too short) which is understandable, but I think is something he should value more especially because life is not permanent. So maybe the life lesson Lilia could be imparting to Malleus is that people will come and go and that should be accepted, but it shouldn't stop him from genuinely connecting with others because it will make life better, even if it is more painful.

Sorry for the long ask haha but anyways it's all just opinions/possibilities! I'm very excited to see how the story goes from here. Have a nice day!

I agree with a lot of the points you brought up, Anon! I feel like a lot (and I mean a lot) of the upset surrounding Lilia leaving is because people expect a found family or a close knit group of friends (like Diasomnia) to always be comfy and together. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Part of being a family or being friends is also weathering through the tough times together, even if it is painful in the moment.

Many often forget that sometimes Lilia’s way of teaching a lesson or letting a secret out can be very callous. He was, of course, insensitive to the worry he caused Silver and Sebek while pulling off the prank in Endless Halloween Night, and did not gracefully divulge the truth of Silver’s human heritage to him when initially asked about it (Lilia just went, “Oh, you didn’t notice our ears were different until now?”). Lilia is also notably stern and sharp-tongued when scolding others (ie Leona in episode 2). And remember how hardcore his training was for young Silver and Sebek? Lilia can be so much harsher than he initially appears to be. It is for this reason that it’s possible that his departure is to encourage those remaining in Diasomnia to learn to stand on their own. All three of them are representative of the future of the Briar Valley and of Lilia’s hopes for peace between the races—the future king, a human able to bridge the difference between fairies and non-fairies, and a mixed child of a fairy and a human. But they can’t fully realize their own potentials if they keep leaning on Lilia for support. It’s could be like a case of “touch love”/“if you love them, let them leave the nest” (except it’s Lilia leaving in this case to force their hands).

I think Malleus is specifically in a position where it will be difficult for Lilia to get through to him. His entire existence has been a lonely and isolating one, and it’s hard to get the socially awkward Malleus to open up to others or to have peers approach him due to his overwhelming aura and power. His distorted sense of time also doesn’t help with this, as it leads Malleus to drastically over or underestimating the time he has (ie he mistakes Vil’s magical aging as the result of more time passing than he had perceived, he often misses meetings because he mixed up the date/time, he believes the internship periods are “too short” to learn anything substantial, etc). He cannot enjoy the present moment because (to him) it slips away so fast, and he has an several centuries ahead of him. Now is nothing. Malleus does not value time because he has so much of it left; this is why Lilia’s words strike him at the end of episode 6: others may have life spans far shorter than theirs, but they can still come together to forge strong bonds in the short time that they have. “We live among such creatures, Malleus.” There is value in the quality of time spent together, not just the length of it—that is what Lilia is trying to express to Malleus, who will eventually outlive his classmates.

Lilia has had the worldly experiences and the age to fuel his understanding of the flow of time and how to live peacefully with other creatures, but Malleus has not—and those things cannot easily be taught, and certainly not in the time span of a few years of schooling. This is likely why Lilia goes out of his way to push Malleus to act outside of his comfort zone and to live his school life to its fullest, to go out and talk to people, to journey to new places and to steep himself in other cultures. He wants Malleus to have those enriching experiences because experience is the best teacher.

It is pointed out by the students of NRC that they don’t understand why someone as powerful and as important as Malleus is wasting his time with school. This is also something that Leona mentions in regards to himself; what could they possibly hope to learn from school? They can afford the best private tutors and resources without so much as glancing in the direction of the school grounds. But that’s just it: it’s the social experience of being surrounded by peers and interacting with them, having to work together with them, hearing from all walks of life. These cannot be gained in isolated self study. It’s also true that the negative experiences associated with those things cannot be had outside of school. The good and the bad are a part of life, and Malleus needs to become accustomed to it if he is to become a well-rounded and wise adult like Lilia.

The connections he makes and the good-byes that come with them… they’re important parts of growing up. Even if it hurts now, it’s meant to make you stronger in the long run.

(I’m not saying this is Lilia’s canonical reason for leaving so soon, but that it aligns with Lilia’s philosophy that we know of so far. It isn’t completely out of character for Lilia to announce his departure and to entrust his boys with the future while he is away.)

[ragtimeboy]

Why do you make your art ugly on purpose? /nm

I think it's really cool, I just wanna know if there's a reason behind it :0

Long post, tldr at the end

I've been sitting on this ask for awhile while I thought of a way to voice my views on "ugliness" and I have 2 very contradictory paths concerning it. One is that I find objects, features, and animals that are considered ugly or repulsive very cute and endearing, I love leaches, crooked or missing teeth , lazy eyes, maggots, scars, and asymmetry. Cockroaches are my favorite animal. These things are a part of existing, a part of life and of the body and therefore they hold just as much importance as the things that are usually considered beautiful. I want to showcase the beauty i see in the world, in the body, in the people I love regardless of how others might see them. Maybe you can learn to love those things that makes everyone unique even if it isn't glamorous.

Content/trigger warning: irl bodily harm, suicide, murder, irl illness and death

Second is the representational value of the "ugly truth" the denial of fabricated peace or beauty. I do not like my feelings spared, I don't like to be told a mistruth for the sake of closure or comfort. I want to see the world how it is, not a clean sanitized version of it. My most profound moments of human connection are the brief times when people give me the gritty details, sharing their knowledge and experiences that are sickening and morbid. The details of my dad's wife's patient in brain injury with his nose and frontal lobe blown off from a gun under his chin, the motorcycle car crash my neighbor died in at the end of my street hours after it happened, the two kids he left behind, the pool of blood on the sidewalk I walked by everyday. The murder in self defence my ex committed. The time the elderly man I cared for got stabbed for heroin. The most horrible things everyone has seen when I trained to be an EMT, the decapitations, the inconceivable ways a human body can be broken. The details of my friend's suicide, all of them, I wanted to know. In those moments of grief and horror I feel like I am truly seeing the whole picture, truly a part of humanity even in the darkest moments, because someone is sharing the pain with me, because for just a moment we can look at each other and feel the same loss, the same disgust and emptiness, the shared hopelessness that reminds me that hope exists and it's omnipresent.

I don't talk about myself a lot and that's on purpose, I think for the most part my work speaks for itself, anything you need to know is painted out on watercolor paper. My little sister was born with an autoimmune disorder that liquified her body for 10 years, I watched her tiny body fall apart, watched it rot while she lived. (She's ok now, she's a theater kid which is worse). For most of my serious work I put the viewer in my shoes, the relationship between the snuff film star and the audience, neither existing without the other, the relationship of suffering and the witness of suffering, the stripped down bare basics of empathy, of understanding another. The annihilation of comfort, the denial of escapism, the confrontation with the ugly, the sickening, it's a part of my experience and in the same fashion as I want to be told the truth I offer you the same grace. Reality, gritty and vile is part of the deal, to experience joy and fulfillment you have to open yourself up for agony, and maybe agony isn't the worst thing that can happen. Maybe we stare into the dark and see the worst possible past, present and future and we keep going, we keep living despite it. We have to.

Sorry if this is long, I'll try to tag all the potential triggers in this but please dm me if I missed one.

Tldr I think ugly is beautiful because it's unique and I like to know the truth even if it's sad and gross

[convxction]

SHIPPING INFO. answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

what’s your OTP for your muse(s)?

self love. jk. tbh i love all possible spouses for c.hrom because each of them is unique and adds to his personality and life. away from canons, i love my friends' ocs who are in relationship with him Rebecca, Takako, Lacie, Robin and Eira. My precious <3

what are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?

Almost everything? I don't mind exploring any situation and plotline. I love exploring things, especially if it makes things semi realistic, as possible, not the uwu boy meets girl and now kiss~ nah fam.

how large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

This is kind of question that gets you roll eyes no matter what you answer lmao. Personally, between 10 or 12 years as long as one of the parties are in the 20+. tbh i find some age gaps like 20 are cool to explore if the other is "old" and tired of life and suddenly upbeat and lively person be like hewo do you want to love life again? thats kind of cute the vibe of giving someone's life colors again. anyway yeah. as long as things make sense and legal lol

are you selective when shipping?

Honhon yeah. i no longer entertain everyone because I used to think everyone is fun and willing to write fun things and explore ideas and not just the 'imma book this muse ehe~' and bail out on me haha. we gotta have that telepathy moment lol. so yeah i want the good time not just booking muses so i can have their names in my relationship page like some sort of badge or achievement. dont get me wrong i understand what burnt out means. i dont want to control my partners' lives lmao. just be ...my friend too??? not just oh i lost interest in my muse, i will now proceed to ignore you. and yes it happened. a lot. and it is very annoying. ANYway, communication then communication then communication then just having fun. thats the key, yes.

how far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?

asking the person who sucks at writing it but uuuuuuuuh. when someone starts sliding dem fingers down the other's clothes and proceed to undress them. yep.

does one have to ask to ship with you?

I mean thats the way? unless you can say all the dwarven rules lmao then ask permission haha. jk. or is it? yeah i think of myself as friendly as a moogle. you are welcome to state your wish and we'll see if things can work out or not~

how often do you like to ship?

idk what to say 'how often'??? whenever a spark happens im not gonna shy away from trying out the ship. if it works then yey if it doesnt then thats a new exp for the both of us. and lets be real sometimes they can become the best of friends and it warms my heart to see we can still make out something in the end. HEY! even if they turn out to be rivals or heck enemies! thats kiss chef too dont think i dont support these relationships. i looooooooooove them.

are you multiship?

I guess so. I tried one time to make it a single blog and it was a painful experience when you pour all your heart into this ship that you missed potentially fun and interesting ships because you want to be loyal and then you get abandoned on a drop of a hat ahahahaaha. But yeah, I am not though I want to keep it single ship per muse portrayal. I won't ship with the same muse UNLESS all parties are ok but first and foremost your portrayal is different and gives new meaning for their relationship. i'm not here to horde everyone. been there saw that happened i dont want to do the same to others. its not nice feeling.

are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?

im here begging on my knees for people to befriend chr.om and not just ship wise but any sort of relationship. i dont want my blog to be ship centric anymore. i want FUN AND INTERESTING AND ANGSTY AND FLUFFY AND MIND BLOWING THINGS TO HAPPEN IN HERE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

what is your favorite ship in your current fandom?

a couple years ago id yell c.hrobinnnnn! now im too old for this war so forever and always ... Chrom and Shepherd pie. ask alm about it. jk. currently?? i dont have a preferred ship over the other; as i said above, i love them all. they each add something interesting about chr.om. tho in general i'd say ultimate ship is krumb and becca <3 we have built a lot over the years so basically it is kind of main ship at this point haha. rebecca my beloved <3

finally, how does one ship with you?

100 PUSH UP, 100 KILOMETER RUN GO GO GO. talk to me, really. i dont read minds. if you want to try something go ahead come and say yo what do you think? and i'll tell you lets go. lets see where this can go. but sometimes i know it does not work right from the get go so don't be sad or dejected if i said nah fam it wont work. sankyu kupopopo

tagged by: @gamenu [sankyuuuuuuu <3]

tagging: @isaaccecilbryant , @wayward-sword , @pieman1112 , @toestalucia +akira and anyone else if you wanna rant mwah <3, @psychcdelica (your pick), @dcviated (your pick), @coolrpblog , and you ! i tag you!