#you tell him kiyoi!!!

[mineonmain]

Different forms of the same sentiment: How can we love each other if we are not equal in our eyes?

[braceletofteeth]

[distressed self-sacrificing boyfriend silence]

[obscurecurse]

Can we talk about Kiyoi when Hira doesn't go after him...

[^Literally checking over his shoulder for Hira.]

vs Kiyoi when Hira DOES go after him?

Love makes this man behave like a cornered animal

[wastedchancesofalife]

Hira, my dude, you are literally dicking that man so how you still act like a pre-teen fanboy with a crush 😂😂

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Rose's Day of Asks

Who were some of your favourite overall performances in terms of physical acting? Hands, face, body, whatever you prefer.

Have a great Day💜

 Hmm this is is a really hard question to- 

Billkin in I Told Sunset About You

Billkin as Teh is one of my favorite physical performances, not just in BL but of all time. I said this in The Conversation episode where we talked about I Told Sunset About You but for a boy that does not say much, Teh is incredibly loud as a character. The way he sits up, the way his face falls, the way he always circles, the grandiose and the miniscule ways that his body reflects his emotions. Do not get me wrong, PP is gorgeous and devastating in his role as Oh, but Billkin has a very very difficult character to contend with and to embody and from the posture, to the motion, the anger, the tears, the jealousy, the joy. He is constantly, constantly moving: tapping his fingers, shaking his leg, pacing, peeking, there is no way Teh is not an exhausting role to play, and he absolutely nailed it.  

[the rest of these are in no particular order, but there are so many, you really need to limit me to like..five cause I can’t do that on my own.]

Nike Nitidon in 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us 

Nike as Inthawut is an understated physical performance that I really enjoyed, Inthawut as a character is incredibly self-isolating, distrusting, shameful, and Nike carries that character very stiffly, squared shoulders, rimrod back, but he still moves with such grace to him. I watched all of 180 Degrees just thinking “he’s moving like a dancer” the entire time. Which is such a fascinating way to exist in a story where Inthawut and Sasiwimol as characters are engaging in a sort of social dance around each other and around Wang as they attempt to deflect questions about Siam. 

Hagiwara Riku in My Beautiful Man: Eternal 

Hagiwara is incredible generally but I really want to highlight his performance in My Beautiful Man: Eternal which has one of my favorite acting moments of BL. That is his performance when he is rescuing Kiyoi from Anna’s stalker. He moves so swiftly, so gracefully on a dime between threatening and violent, to soft and loving in his body and in his voice and in the shimmer in his eyes. Is it a surprise that he was able to pull that off? No, he showed such incredible range in his physical performance in the original season jumping between the timid, awkward, pushover to the loud, aggressive to the point of needing three people to hold him down, when he is defending Kiyoi, but it was truly so fun to watch him turn it on and off at any time. 

Also just an additional shout out to Yasei Yugei, specifically for the scene in Utsukushii Kare 2 when Hira tells him he doesn’t love him. The way his face fell? Incredible. 

Hasegawa Makoto in Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto

I wouldn’t say Hasegawa as Miyata is overall my favorite physical performer, however he had one of my favorite face changes of all time in the episode 4 sex scene. The way he sets his lips, the challenging look in his eyes, it was such an incredibly impressive shift in Miyata who has until that point been rather annoyed, bitchy, or awkward. 

Tod and Boy in Ghost Host, Ghost House

Again, I wouldn’t say they have one of my favorite physical performances overall BUT Tod and Boy in Ghost Host, Ghost House had one of my favorite physicality moments of all time with their sex scene in Episode 4. More accurately with the build up to their first time. Kevin in his shorty little short shorts knowing exactly what he was doing. I can’t even describe the whole thing or what exactly it was about the scene that really did me in but you can absolutely feel the desire, the tension through the screen, and that is in huge part due to the physical performance of both of those actors. Pluem covering his mouth, trying to look away, ugh, exquisite. 

Nishijima and Uchino in Kinou Nani Tabeta? 

I think the hardest thing for me to appreciate with a lot of the Japanese actors is that I haven’t watched a ton of Japanese media so I rarely see the actors cross over between shows or genres and that makes it hard for me to understand just how talented they are at embodying their characters. But oh my god, these two, they are just. Their hug at the end of season one is one of my favorite moments of all time, it makes me so emotional. The full body panic that washed over Shiro’s body when Kenji turned to leave in the first ever episode of What Did You Eat Yesterday? Kenji’s face during the “I know you’re hurting” line, the increasingly frequent smile from Shiro in season 2. Just AHHHH they are both such good physical performers. 

Louis Chiang, Hsu Kai, and Takeda Kuohei in Kiseki: Dear to Me & Old Fashion Cupcake (respectively)

Louis and Hsu gave me the same physical acting moment in Kiseki that I loved in Old Fashioned Cupcake which is the body responding to something differently than the brain is, especially in something as physically demanding and choreographed as a kissing scene. All three of them did such phenomenal jobs in their respective scenes with Ai Di looking so fucking confused when Chen Yi kisses him, and actually kissing back for a split second before biting him, Fan Ze Rui kissing Bai Zhong Yi back while trying to push him away and then immediately giving up, and Nozue fully doing calculus in his head while still kissing Togawa back. I appreciate actors so much because I could never oh my god. 

Milk and View in 23.5 Degrees

I gotta get some ladies on here and who better than the loves of my life Milk and View. Milk I just want to commend how variable her performance is between 23.5 and Bad Buddy. I am so so here for all the rolling, flailing, fainting, screaming. She’s doing such an incredible job in what I am sure is a very physically taxing role. 

View going on the complete opposite end of the spectrum with a very stiff character with a very flat affect. I love everything about Aylin, and I especially love those little moments of emotion that do break through. The small smile Aylin gets, the crying breakdown she has on the basketball court, the delay before she too runs all gangly and awkward to the door to greet their friends. Stiffness feels like a hard thing to embody without it feeling like bad acting, because I think a lot of what I see of bad acting comes from people who are too stiff, for completely non-character related reasons. 

MOTHERFUCKING BARCODE TINNASIT IN DEAD FRIEND FOREVER

This kid. Was. SO. CREEPY. I am so proud of him! When I first saw Barcode on screen in this show, I thought they picked him for the role of Non because he was the sweet, baby-faced little boy you remember from KinnPorsche and thus would garner sympathy. But no. 

NOPE. 

I WAS WRONG. 

It is because BARCODE IS A FUCKING POWERHOUSE at 18 years old. The laughter, the smiles, the absolutely deranged behavior. The breakdowns. This kid. Holyyyyyyyyyy shit. 

__

In truth there are so so so so so many moments, performances, actors that are just absolutely incredible and worthy of praise, and the nice thing is that even small moments can make huge impacts on me, on an audience as a whole. Sometimes it’s not just the physicality of the actors that really makes the performance, it’s the anatomy of the scene, it’s choreography, it’s lighting, it’s sound. The silence in Our Dining Table, Episode 8 when Yutaka reaches back for the briefest of moments. The editing of the masturbation scene in I Feel You Linger in the Air cutting between Jom’s hands on Yai’s back and Jom’s hands on his own body. Han Baram’s sad, sad little face and his sad sad little song and the way he and Im Han Tae cuddle even when they are platonic in Sing My Crush. Sam Lin + Alcohol in We Best Love. Like ugh there’s just so many beautiful physical moments out there. 

Additional Shout Outs: 

First Kanaphan, Mark Pakin, Fourth, Ohm, Singto: all of these boys are so impressive in their physical acting in so many ways. First as Yok and First as Akk was almost completely unrecognizable to me when I first saw them. First is an incredible physical actor, and I wish that GMMTV would actually let him maintain complex characteristics rather than turning him in to the weepy boy every time. But from a physical acting standpoint, he’s incredible. Mark Pakin truly is GMMTV’s six man: he was on The Warp Effect, Moonlight Chicken, and My School President which all aired at the same time, with him playing three very different characters. It was such a treat to see Fourth and Gemini back to back in MSP and MLC as well, but the happy bouncy puppy dog that was Gun compared to the jaded, angry young adult that was Li Ming was just marvelous to behold, I swear to god I saw a storm cloud pass over that kid’s brow at one point during MLC. Ohm because of course. Singto because that dude is able to convey so much by moving so little of his face, it’s truly astounding. 

James Supamakong in Bed Friend, Episode 4

This is honestly more from a vocal perspective but the way he fucking screamed and cried in both attempted rape scenes haunts me to this day. 

The cast of Ossan’s Love Returns, but especially all of the fight scenes between Hayashi Kento (Maki) and Yoshida Kotero (Kurosawa), they were so fun to watch, especially because they are supposed to present as such put together characters, and the sustained fight scene in Episode 6 was fucking hysterical. 

Non-BL mentions: 

Toby Stephens and his voice acting in Black Sails

Matthew McFayden and the hand flex in Pride and Prejudice 

Kalki Koechil and physically portraying cerebral palsy as an able bodied actress in Margarita With a Straw (you can check out my write up for my thoughts on the ethical component of that though)

The fencing scene from The Court Jester

I have never watched the movie, but Christopher Reeve’s Clark Kent to Superman transition

Sense8. All of it. 

I haven’t even seen it, but Orphan Black

What are some of yours?

[respectthepetty]

Dear My Beautiful Man's second season.

Let me be shady for a second.

I want you to know that this fight felt right, and it hurt.

The audience thought we were past this. We thought Hira had figured out how much Kiyoi loved him, so we were slapped in the face just like Kiyoi when Hira said Kiyoi would never meet Hira's parents.

So when Kiyoi demanded Hira let him go, so he could walk out the door, I remember thinking we would have to wait until the movie for any kind of resolve.

Yet, to mine and Hira's surprise, Kiyoi was in their living room the very next morning, sleeping amongst their clothes.

So he could calmly tell Hira that he hurt his feelings and that was unacceptable. He told Hira, moving forward, what he needed from Hira. He told Hira he needed to change or he really would lose him.

Because Kiyoi knew Hira loves him, and even though he was mad as hell in the moment for a valid reason, he realized that Hira would never intentional disrespect him or hurt him.

Because he knows Hira.

And he loves Hira.

And that's how you present a heartbreaking fight in the second-to-last episode.

And I appreciate that.

[semi-daily-vitamin-soyo]

ah.. it’s.. a bit embarrassing to be here- but..

she takes a deep breath, trying to get over herself. She fidgets with the rings of the small book in her hands

“is- is Kiyoi here by chance? I uh. Need to talk to them about something.”

- Akko, @pharmacity-weekly

A warm and comforting smile from a girl with long, blueish white hair greets her.

🎼"He's taking some time to freshen up. That morning run he did knocked him out for a bit. I'll tell him you're here."

The girl goes to the back and after a while, Kiyoi comes out.

"Sorry for making you wait.. Wait, huh?"

He takes a moment to fully process what was happening.

📓"If i knew you were coming, I wouldn't have gone all out on my morning run."

📓"Now I understand what Kanade meant by 'you're a guest I'm hoping to meet'."

📓"She really should stop saying cryptic things like that."

He takes out his phone and texts Minori to tell her about this.

📓"I guess my day just started early. So, what is it you wanted to talk about?"

[anotherblblog]

Ok, so I came to Japan to watch Utsukushii Kare Eternal and I saw it today. I don't speak Japanese and there weren't any subtitles but I wanna recap what I remembered in case other interfans want to know. I also haven’t read the novels so I only know seasons 1 and 2 of the story.

Spoilers very much ahead.

The opening scene is like the last scene of S1 where HiraKiyo are naked with a fuckton of tulle. But way more tulle in the movie than season 1. They're both also literally blanketed by the tulle. They are also laying around Hira's camera, and Kiyoi's necklace, and the duck. Hira goes to kiss Kiyoi and Hira is woken up from his dream and he's at work. Hira and Kiyoi are both at work and they are talking to the mentor and Anna about the other and it's a lot of intercutting scenes of them in the present both reminiscing and flashing back to season 1. No scenes from s2 are in the movie as I immediate recall. A few s2 scenes are redone like Hira saying "Kiyoi (sans kun)" near the other fans but it's different than the s2 version.

The HiraKiyo A plot as I think I understand it - Domestic happy life. Hira’s cousin is moving into the house so HiraKiyo look for an apartment together. (I'm not 100% on if she's moving in but she shows up and she and Hira have a talk and then soon thereafter HiraKiyo are looking for an apartment together). HiraKiyo take a bath together and ngl it’s really hot. Kiyoi does his shy look away thing after Hira kisses his hand but Hira keeps kissing his hands and shoulders. Kiyoi is turned away from Hira and facing a mirror and Hira keeps kissing and moving up on him and the camera gets in close as Hira is kissing Kiyoi all over. The camera moves away to the other side of the tub while they smash and you hear Kiyoi moaning Hira’s name. And Captain Duck is swept out of the tub by the fucking lmao. I think Hira feels guilty about losing the house so he cooks a lot of food (part of this scene was the bonus scene at the end of the Utsukare Season 1 special edit version). Kiyoi does get Hira to feed him shrimp croquettes. Kiyoi hugs Hira from behind while Hira is cooking. The under the blue cover scene has Hira mounting and starting to go to town on Kiyoi but he stops himself and walks out dejectedly. Kiyoi extricates himself from the covers is looks super flustered/turned on.

B plot is their jobs. Hira’s mentor takes some photos of Anna and later Kiyoi. Hira is an assistant for the Anna photo shoot (which honestly was fucking amazing. It was literally the expression “make love to the camera” it was in waterfall/pond and it was so hot and erotic and fun. Didn’t expect it but it was cool.) Hira doesn’t show up on the day Hira’s mentor shoots Kiyoi and Kiyoi is looking for him. Kiyoi continues to work with Anna but Anna gets pap’d with her secret bf and it seems like Anna having a secret bf is a big fucking deal. The fans outside the Anna Kiyoi set find out via twitter or something and then Anna cries alone a lot and the Kiyoi agency staff look very concerned and sad. Kiyoi and agent/manager/not as flamboyantly dressed one go secretly to Anna’s hotel and they have a talk. Then Kiyoi gets pap’d leaving Anna’s hotel so some people were speculating Anna and Kiyoi were together. Kiyoi is also facing some reprecussions from this speculation and he's super sad in his office perched on a windowsill reading twitter comments and posts about himself and Hira texts him and Kiyoi cries. Like the engine of the movie is the b plot after Anna gets pap'd with her secret dude and then people thinking she and Kiyoi are together.

That leads to the C plot/act 3 Hira’s stalker friend kidnaps Kiyoi. But for some reason he calls Hira to tell Hira he's kidnapped Kiyoi. (there was a lot of villanous monologuing while Kiyoi was bound and then the guy pushes him down and also kicks Kiyoi a few times before making the call). Hira goes full dark crazy Kira mode and shows up and beats the shit out of the dude. Kiyoi is pretty damseled in this scene and mostly just screams for Hira to stop and then Hira flips into cute "I live to serve you" mode and gets Kiyoi out of those ridiculously loose ribbons. Then the stalker dude is getting up and Hira is flipping back and forth really fast between Kira and Hira modes and ends up having to shove Kiyoi down and tells him to run while Hira and stalker dude fight. And Kira becomes like the terminator and is following the other stalker dude and beating him down but then he flips back into Hira and is walking back to Kiyoi while cutely saying Kiyoi over and over and other dude attacks Hira from behind and then stabs Hira in the stomach. Then Hira hallucinates Kiyoi coming to hug him (trailer scene) and it’s cut between that hallucination and Kiyoi literally screaming and crying cuz Hira is dying and then fade to black.

End phase/finale - Hira survives lol. Hira and Kiyoi help Anna out of her situation by having Hira’s mentor do a photo shoot with this random j-pop idol looking guy who ends up being Anna’s secret boo thing. Cougar fr. Then the end scene is a wedding themed photo shoot for Anna and idol guy. Then they ask Kiyoi to join them. Then mentor guy tells Hira to shoot Kiyoi and at first Hira can’t but then Kiyoi tells/commands Hira in Kiyoi's Dom voice and then Hira does and then they have a long photo shooting sequence and that’s where Kiyoi shows off his body. Hira graduates and he and Koyama (who is barely in the movie) have a "I'll see you around" kind of goodbye and then Hira goes to the riverside where Kiyoi is, a cherry blossom petal falls on Kiyoi and he picks it off like s1e1 and Hira is taking pictures of him and Kiyoi calls Hira stalker and they chat and then Hira leads them back to the school. And Hira confesses/declares/has a lengthy monologue at Kiyoi - he definitely tells Kiyoi directly that he likes him, while Kiyoi is like crying but smiling and facing Hira's confession directly. And then they’re about to kiss (all of their mouth to mouth kisses are interrupted or offscreen) and the teacher from season 1 is there at the school (for some reason at this unspecified date and time) and he is chastising them and then chasing them and Hira leads Kiyoi through a long series of slow-mo runs through the school while they switch/flashback into their old wardrobes - their full formal blue uniforms and their causal white/beige school clothes. And then they end up outside and have another water hose fight and that transitions into then hooking up at home? mouth kissing for the only time in the movie in a lot of tulle again. The ending sequence is their most high heat scene. Hira is kissing Kiyoi's chest a lot and a lot of mouth and neck kisses.

other blurbs

all Hira narration

No Kiyoi narration but Kiyoi did have a handful of scenes without Hira

Hira had a lot of scenes with him at work with his mentor and the other guy

Hira and Kiyoi I think re-have their season 2 fight about Hira thinking himself more as a fan than a boyfriend. Hira sleeps on the roof of his work building and then cooks ramen for mentor guy.

I think mentor guy might have had a thing for Anna and was maybe sad she has a boo thang and maybe Hira tells mentor he's dating Kiyoi so Kiyoi for sure isn't dating Anna.

I don't know if Kiyoi or Hira told other stalker guy they're dating. But both Kiyoi alone and Hira and Kiyoi exchanged words with him during the kidnapping scene.

the scene where Hira gets the "I kidnapped your boyfriend call" was really fucking well done. Hira is walking up stairs away from the camera when he gets the call and they drop the lights and make it super dark and that pans up into Hira's bangs and his Kira expression/kubric stare-esque and it was super cool

I think Yusei wears a shirt for Kiyoi that he also wears in his other series. The cloudy white and blue dress shirt.

The end sequence of Hira shooting Kiyoi was really fun and hot. Kiyoi takes off his tie and has it in his mouth with his shirt unbuttoned but tucked in so it's framing his abs. Apparently Riku directed that scene and I would personally like to thank him for his contribution to the arts

Kiyoi's theme wasn't in the movie a lot. The movie has its own OST and the movie songs share some melodies with the s1 ost but it was a lot of new music

the color grading was blue af. A lot of blue in the lights, glass, wardrobe, sheets, etc etc

I think Hira has told his cousin that he and Kiyoi are dating.

Hira, Kiyoi, cousin, and nephew all welcome and greet Anna after her scandal and Anna might hide out at Hira's place for a bit until Hira and Kiyoi do their surprise with bringing the idol into Mentor's studio

Kiyoi looks hella fond and proud when Hira interacts with Anna at Hira's house. And right in front of Hira. Later when Kiyoi and Anna are alone, Kiyoi says something including that Hira is gross and Anna agrees and Kiyoi blusters at her and she fondly apologizes

Ok that's the majority of what I remember. I am gonna see the movie again, so I'll update if I remember or see a scene I didn't recap here

Updated: the family member that comes to visit is Hira’s cousin, not sister. Thank you @ltrllynbdy

[caresscoffee]

I have several thoughts on My Beautiful Man...

If My Beautiful Man were a hetero Jdrama this would be completely unwatchable because a subservient weird & creepy guy[he's 1 step removed from being Kiyoi's stalker] and a woman is not a scenario that people would likely get behind, even if she were as into weird & creepy guy as Kiyoi is with Hira... I mean, the weird & creepy factor goes both ways here and that's really the only reason their relationship works, however Kiyoi is a secret creepy weirdo until you say something about Hira or try to bully him & then he's not normal... his mouth might say "Creepy" or "Stalker" but his body language, voice, and eyes say, "I love you, please don't stop being obsessed with me... I won't stop being obsessed with you." & I don't think this would work if Kiyoi were a woman, it is however one of my favorite BL series... and my controversial opinion is that I liked the stalker bit because when Kiyoi was kidnapped he legit told this guy that he & Hira were nothing alike because Hira is morally upright, only has eyes for him, cares more for him than himself, & Hira was much crazier than this nothing stalker & for me personally that was a really great scene because Kiyoi looked fuckin deranged himself while he was telling this douchecanoe how much crazier his boyfriend is... and then he looked like an absolute madman when he thinks his soulmate was stabbed, hysterically bawling and begging him not to die, and then they had to literally drag him away from Hira because he just wouldn't let go and then he was fighting them to get back to his side... I think it really emphasizes that Kiyoi, in some ways, loves Hira more than Hira loves him because he knows how Hira is and accepts him completely despite some major dissatisfaction in Hira not thinking he deserves to be loved by Kiyoi

[jemmo]

utsukushii kare really said we’re going to take two of the most fascinating, interesting, well-characterised characters to have ever been written and not just stick them in the same show, but put them in one of the most incredible relationships to be seen on screen and i cannot thank them enough for it. seriously, if you consider the fact that at this point we’re at ep 8 of a 30 minute runtime show; that’s 4 hours. i’ve watched other bls, heck even other ordinary shows, that can’t even cram enough characterisation into a character that hira or kiyoi have in their little fingernail. im not joking. and nothing shows that better than kiyoi in this ep.

i love that we’re already getting an episode from his perspective. we had to wait all the way until ep 4 of season 1 to see things from his side, and that was such an amazing twist and reveal and still to this day that ep makes me cry. but im so glad we get to see his perspective sooner. bc we don’t need that shock twist anymore, instead it serves as a good balance to see where both our characters are at in the first 2 eps. and yet again, seeing things from kiyoi’s pov just opens up the absolute treasure trove that is his character. there are so many stand out points from this ep that i wanna mention but I’ll wait until my big ‘favourite parts of utsukushii kare s2 ep2’ post to list them all. what i wanna say here is that every bit of his character we get to see in this ep comes together so well to create such an interesting, multi-faceted and well-rounded character that it’s kind of astounding. we start off with his softness and vulnerability that’s countered perfectly against hira’s timid reaction, and then we jump back to high school to see this full on longing and the frustration that comes with that, waiting to be confessed to. i wanted to say this about the first season but this serves a good opportunity too; I find it so interesting how they portray hira and kiyoi’s ‘seme and uke’ dynamic (im gonna use those terms bc i can’t think of any better way to describe it, just know im referring more to a more dominant vs more submissive personality, like the confesser vs the confesse, and not anything sexual). You could so easily watch this show, hear the premise, even see the characters, hira and his chronic shyness, kiyoi and his undeniable popularity, and easily place those labels; hira the uke, kiyoi the seme. but in reality, kiyoi so clearly wants to be the uke, and very much is the uke. he begs in his head for hira to confess his feelings fo him, half bc maybe he needs hira to be brave where he can’t be, but I think also half bc he just wants to be confessed to. He wants the boy he likes to tell him he likes him, just like he wants to cuddle in his lap and be looked after. it probably stems from this want to be loved, chosen to be loved, and be cared for where he felt he wasn’t before, but it’s just so refreshing and such an interesting subversion of expectations, to see inside cool, popular kiyoi’s head and it’s just him begging for this shy, nobody kid to like him, and say it out loud.

and then I’ve touched on this before, but you get to see his earnest drive and passion to do what he loves. the cool kid that should fit the stereotype of never caring about anything, pushing to do the thing he loves, putting himself out there. I just can’t describe how excellent of a subversion that is. and the way he is with people at work, with Anna, polite and cordial and sweet, it’s such a reverse of kiyoi’s tsundere shortness and bluntness with hira that it not only shows us that yes, we weren’t hallucinating, there really is an infinite pool of softness within kiyoi that pours out more and more every time we see him, but also shows us that kiyoi is maybe only his true self with Hira. he’s not this polite, nice boy, nor is he this cool, cold popular guy, he’s somewhere in the middle, a fascinating mix of both, that only hira gets to see the full extent of, and I think that says a lot about how comfortable he is with Hira, and how much he trusts him. as much as it may be bad that hira will never find fault with kiyoi, it also makes him his sanctity, his true safe place, where he can breathe and grow and truly be whatever he wants, soft, angry, cute, cool, vulnerable, hira will take it all and adore it no matter what.

and then we get his jealousy of koyama, his protectiveness and possessiveness of hira. it’s kind of endearing how he still feels these things when hira shows him such endless devotion, it’s a testament to how normal he sees their relationship compared to hira, and how he therefore allows himself to feel normal relationship things, including possessiveness. but also in this scene i really love how kiyoi is let’s himself doubt himself, and only when it comes to hira. i feel like we’ve only ever seen him been unsure of himself when it comes to the things he loves, namely his dream of being a performer, and hira. he only looses confidence when he doesn’t do well in the competition in high school, and is only ever doubtful when it comes to hira’s feelings about him, and how he is with hira, maybe bc they’re the only things he truly wants to last forever. so what does he do, just like he does with his acting career? he puts in sincere effort. he humbles himself taking that recipe from koyama, and despite his cluelessness and clear lack of skills, he still tries his absolute hardest to do something for hira. he cooks him a meal, one of the most ordinary and sincere expressions of love. and his shy smile the whole time, him waiting excitedly for hira to come home, it’s such a fantastically endearing contrast from the cold, removed kiyoi we know early in s1 that you almost can’t reconcile them as the same character, and yet the steps that got us here make it clear that they are in fact the same person, that both those people live inside kiyoi and that’s amazing. and of course something as ordinary as cooking a meal for your boyfriend can never be normal for hira and kiyoi but the chaos unfolds is what makes them absolutely them. it mirrors what kiyoi says at the start of the ep about Hira, ‘if it wasn’t disgusting, it wouldn’t be hira’. It’s the same for kiyoi, and the same for their relationship. they don’t want to change it fundamentally, don’t want to take away the things that make it them, they just want to find a way to take this thing they both want and love and build it, strengthen it, so it can last. and i’ll say it until I’m blue in the face, but that’s why kiyoi’s personality, his bluntness, works so well for hira. it provides this iron wall of reassurance based in truth that he needs. I think ‘im not dating a pebble’ might be my stand out line from a bl in 2023 already but it’s also so ridiculously laced in meaning. Kiyoi doesn’t see hira as just some rock, some insignificant thing on the side of the road, that’s not what he’s dating. He’s dating hira, the person. And I think this push for hira to see himself as a person is only something that kiyoi can do because, in a way, hira was the one to see Kiyoi first. I’m a different way, because of the complex hira still has around kiyoi, he may not be a person yet, but hira still saw him in a way no one else did because he cared enough to look and keep looking. He stared and stared at every bit of kiyoi, including the uncool parts, the embarrassing parts, the sweet parts, the upset and angry parts, he’s the one that saw it all and never once looked away. The invisible kid made him feel seen. And I think for someone that’s always looked at but never seen, that’s what you really want.

So yes, this may have collapsed into another ramble, but I hope I can just convey some of the sense of how whole of a character kiyoi feels, even just by the points in this ep. And I just love that he’s allowed to be it all, be chaotic and messy and imperfect and a work in progress while still helping hira along too. I’ve never seen a bl couple that feel so much like they’re growing together, figuring themselves out as people and as a couple and it’s just so fucking refreshing and interesting and beautiful to watch and i will never ever shut up about it

[queersouthasian]

Listen guys, I just wanted to say this, may not to be important but needs to said:

PEOPLE HATE WAY 'CAUSE HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HATED

that's it, that's the post...ok let me elaborate

As the saying goes, "you have to be the villain in someone's story for them to be the hero", and this may not be the most fitting sentence in context to WAY but in a way it is. Listen, why do we love characters like vegas/kiyoi/charn but dislike the dr from sign or way to be specific?? Interesting question right?

Vegas/Kiyoi/Charn are not "evil" characters, they are not supposed to be looked over or hated 'cause of whatever they did (killing for Vegas, bullying for kiyoi and Charn being the evil lawyer) 'cause their motive to commit a crime outweigh the consequences of the crime itself. Why did Vegas kill people?? He was from the minor family who were always overshadowed by the major, lived with his abusive ass mf dad, was raised and treated like an animal and when the final fallout with pete happens, he realises he treated pete the exact same way he was treated all these years, like an animal (pls don't even treat animals like that) and the realisation alone made THE vegas beg to Pete. Even though Vegas is a murderer, a criminal, people can sympathize with him 'cause he has a convincing story of extreme physical and emotional abuse to tell, his story perfectly explains him as a person and doesn't matter how bad/evil he is, people still cry out for him, people still feel the pain 'cause to some extent, people can relate to it. Same for kiyoi and Charn (I am not elaborating but there are many psychological takes on kiyoi here which are really good)

Now this solid back story lacks in the case of Dr and Way. Even if Way was not the "Enigma", he would still be a very annoying character, he is not the cool "loki" rather actually annoying lmao, mostly because nothing about way, till now, can explain what he did, like why did he hypnotise and manipulate babe?? FOR 10 YEARS?? why did he have to manipulate everyone against Charlie and Jeff about the car accident??? He was suspicious of Charlie, but actually he wasn't. He didn't know anything about him, did no research about him, did not have any reason, technically, to doubt him cause he had zero proof about Charlie or even jeff doing something, he just wanted to cut both off 'cause jealousy. He even saved the bfs in the last ep just 'cause babe was there, if only charlie was there or someone else with him, he would have left them. And I am not even kidding. Remember how after knocking the guy out, way goes "come on, Babe" totally refusing to acknowledge charlie being there. He could have just went "let's go" or "come on guys" but no. And if he infact is the enigma, then that just adds up to the selfishness and nothing. I am not saying that a character needs a dramatic backstory to explain their wrongs but way has...nothing. like from all perspectives he would have won, he did not have a loss. Also the biggest deception is literally from his part. The fact that not only babe, but literally every character including jeff - charlie, trust him, the fact that he tries to come off as a concerned friend but actually is just a manipulative bitch with victim complex, and to make it worse his "love" is more of a "possession" like unfiltered unsexy possession lmao. Exactly like the doctor. Both don't have any reason to do anything they did, they just want to see the world burn but not in the "oh the world is shitty" Charn way rather they are the upper hand and basically are toying with things for their pleasure.

Nothing worse than a character being merciless to people for no reason, they are either sociopaths or just rich and this would have been a great thing in crime/thriller genre not romance.

[emotionallychargedtowel]

“I mislead audiences on purpose”

I was talking with @firepony67 a while back about something I noticed even further back, and I realized it’d probably be worth putting in a post. And then I sat on this draft for a while longer. But I’m trying to write up some of my lingering thoughts about Utsukushii Kare now, so I’m finally circling back to this. I’ve written before about how Sakai Mai (Utsukushii Kare’s director) has stated that she tries to follow the yaoi manga tradition that places semes on the left of an image/frame and ukes on the right and how this plays out in Utsukare. If you’re interested in more depth on this topic, this post is a good place to start, but you might want to work your way up from my last reblog and then move upward. I got a lot of help with finding background quotes on this from @xnoel and relied on translations of press material from @sparkling-rain (as usual, I highly recommend checking out their master post of translated Utsukare articles and other stuff). The screenshot-as-pull-quote below is from @sparkling-rain’s translation of this interview with Sakai Mai from the first season’s visual book.

When I was looking into this issue, I came across a quote from Sakai about the seme left/uke right thing that included a reference I didn’t quite understand at first.

(A quick note, because I had to look it up: your “oshi” is a celebrity/idol that you support/root for/are a fan of/advocate for. And I gather it sometimes applies to other types of people or even things? But it seems it’s mostly used in reference to famous people and related stuff.)

So, what did Sakai mean about misleading the audience on purpose in the hand-kiss scene? It was only when I went back to re-watch season 1 a while back that I figured it out--or at least, figured out what I think she meant.

In episode 3 of season 1, we see the hand kiss from Hira’s perspective. It’s one of the few times Kiyoi is on the left side of the frame. And it seems fitting for him to be in the seme spot. He’s initiating a few different kinds of closeness with Hira in this scene. Not only does he initiate physical contact by asking Hira if he wants to kiss him and then offering him his hand (even though he pulls it away the first time before Hira can get close), he also asks him a bunch of personal questions and drops some hints about associating with Hira more (like when he tells Hira to always keep his camera with him in the future, showing an investment in Hira’s availability to do certain things that suggests they’ll be spending time together). Basically, he’s moving towards Hira, in his prickly way. If he’s pursuing in a sense, then he belongs on the left side, right?

But Sakai said she was misleading the audience here. And in episode 5, which is the first episode in which we see things from  Kiyoi’s point of view, we see this scene from another angle, both in the literal and figurative senses of the phrase.

At first we see the hand kiss from the same angle as before. But after that, we get this counter-shot. I wish I knew how to make gifs because Kiyoi’s expression here is only truly visible when he’s in motion. In a screenshot like this one, you might think he doesn’t look terribly affected, but his eyelashes are fluttering like mad. (If you’re familiar with the show it’s a pretty memorable moment, so in that case you may not need to see it again to recall how significant an effect this has on Kiyoi.)

And where’s Hira now? He’s on the left. This whole thing was Kiyoi’s idea, yes. But has he stayed in control of the situation? For all his posturing and faking Hira out and everything, in a very real sense he has lost the upper hand. He offered his hand, yeah. He knew Hira would probably try to make use of the opportunity. But how could he have known that Hira would literally bow down to him in such an abject way, that he would kiss his hand in such an intense, devoted manner and turn this gesture into something so loaded with meaning? Or, maybe more to the point, that he would give him such a case of the vapors? 

This is actually a prime example of the way Hira, by ostensibly debasing himself, actually takes control of an interaction with Kiyoi. In the act of making himself a “servant,” he also simultaneously makes himself “Lord Hira” (the one who “gets stubborn about the weirdest things”). That’s a whole other topic I also mean to write a post about, but for now, suffice it to say that Hira has taken the leeway Kiyoi gave him by offering his hand and has used it to turn the tables on Kiyoi in a certain (very real) sense. When you get the full picture by adding in Kiyoi’s perspective on this moment, you can see that Hira is still very much a seme in this interaction.

I have an additional side note about the little fragment of subtitle in this screenshot (which uses @lollipopsub​‘s subtitles, which are no longer up as of this writing but I hope will be available again at some point--they’re very thoughtfully done, with an attention for detail that you don’t find in either Viki’s or GaGa’s subs for this show). Echoing Hira, Kiyoi says here that they were like “two dots that never connected.” Kiyoi continues by saying, ��until the last day of high school.” But for Hira, even the events of that day, kiss and all, didn’t constitute a connection. When he says the same thing about himself and Kiyoi as “dots” that “never connected,” he just follows it up by saying, “and eventually the last day of high school came about.“ I find it really interesting that Hira can assert himself in his sneaky but undeniable way, blow Kiyoi’s mind with this tiny gesture, and still look back and tell himself, “nah, we never connected.” 

Anyway, that’s what I think Sakai Mai may have been implying by flipping Hira’s and Kiyoi’s usual positions in the frame for this scene initially but then reasserting them when showing the same event from Kiyoi’s perspective. And I think that’s what she meant when she said she “misled” us.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Hello there 🤗 For the Top 5 of anything bl: We had some steamy bls, some very romantic bls, some bland bls, but I am interested: What were five moments/scenes that made you feel shy this year?

This is a fascinating question, but unfortunately I don't really get shy about my shows, so allow me instead to do

5 Scenes I Feel Like I Should Not Have Been in the Room For

This does NOT mean that I did not want to see it, this does NOT mean I want the scenes to have been cut, but it means that if I were physically present in the scene, these are moments where I would want to leave the room to give them privacy.

Uea telling King about his history of abuse, Bed Friend

Poor Uea has already had us bear witness to some incredibly intense abuse that he did not want to tell anyone about, and here we are now, vouyers to Uea telling King about being molested as a child. This is absolutely one of my favorite scenes in Bed Friend, I do not know how many times I have watched this one scene in particular, but Uea deserves to have this moment for just him and King.

Yai drunkingly reciting poetry to Jom, I Feel You Linger in the Air

This was so incredibly intimate and the moment should belong entirely to Jom and to Yai who is looking at Jom like he hung the moon and stars.

Yutaka falling asleep on Minoru's shoulder, Our Dining Table (Bokura no Shokutaku)

Minoru and Yutaka never get any time alone, I think we should let a quiet moment hang. If I opened a door and found Minoru and Yutaka sitting like this I would close that door as quietly as possible and slip away.

Heart crying on Li Ming's shoulder, Moonlight Chicken

That fight with Heart's parents was brutal and Heart is finally releasing like three years worth of anger and pain, and Li Ming has had to play the go between. Li Ming was forced to be Heart's voice because Heart's parents never learned his language. I know Heart and Li Ming do spend a lot of their time outside of adult supervision, but they deserve a moment completely to themselves here after everything they just went through.

Kiyoi's fight with Hira, Utsukushii Kare 2

gif by @itsallaboutbl

Straight up, point blank, period it was fucking heart wrenching to hear Hira say he wasn't sure he would ever love Kiyoi and to watch Kiyoi just absolutely break down because he loves Hira so much and he's not getting love in return, but worship. Can you imagine how much shittier Kiyoi would feel if he turned around and someone was there to witness this fight? No one should hear this, Kiyoi shouldn't have had to hear that.

ASK ME MY TOP 5 OF ANYTHING BL 2023

[respectthepetty]

I've mentioned how Hira constantly lowers himself around Kiyoi because he has never seen himself as an equal.

But you know what Kiyoi has consistently done the past two episodes after telling Hira to never leave him?

He has treated Hira as his equal. He has looked Hira in his eyes, made Hira look at him by putting his hands on Hira's shoulders, and told Hira how amazing he is, how is is not a pebble, and how he is worthy of being by his side.

Kiyoi immediately comes home and becomes Hira's equal, lowering himself to the floor. He doesn't take the time to walk around and take off his jacket or bag. He stops right there, and discards everything about himself, to sit down, and talk to Hira as his equal.

Then he lowers himself even more when Hira states he is a failure.

The only time Kiyoi has been higher than Hira the past two episodes, is when Hira puts him there. Kiyoi was acting very much like Hira, admiring Anna on the TV, when Hira began taking photos of him. Kiyoi seemed uncomfortable being gazed at through the lens of the camera, but he understands this is what Hira likes, so he turns off the TV and walks over to the chair.

Yet he continues to try talking to Hira. Hira gives him brief responses. Hira is in his idol-worship zone, and Kiyoi is cut off on this pedestal talking to himself.

Every other time, Kiyoi is shown lower than Hira. If Kiyoi isn't making the effort to be equal with Hira, Hira is shown holding the real power in the relationship, and there is always something between them. Just like the sunglasses Hira wears when watching Kiyoi on set or the camera he takes pictures with, Hira is never really seeing Kiyoi in front of him. He is always seeing Kiyoi through a filter.

When they fight, Hira clearly holds the power as Kiyoi must look up to him.

But then again, Hira doesn't hold eye contact with Kiyoi until he crawls around the table to lower himself.

And that's when Kiyoi loses it.

Strangely enough, Kiyoi won't let Hira lay on the floor. He keeps picking up Hira.

Then he makes this comment:

Kiyoi has lowered himself and picked Hira up, but he is realizing that Hira never intends for them to be equal. Hira wants to maintain the dynamic they have of a god to a pebble, and no amount of reminding Hira that they are both humans is going to convince Hira to rise up to meet Kiyoi. No matter how much love and worth Kiyoi gives to Hira, no matter how many times he picks Hira up, and no matter how many times he lowers himself for Hira, Hira refuses to pick himself up. Hira states he doesn't want to bring Kiyoi down, but never once thinks he can raise himself up.

Because he is only a fan.

Not a friend.

Not a boyfriend.

Just a fan.

[kristsingto]

kiyoi telling hira, voice so broken, "i'm not a god." and the way hira asks if he can touch him, only for kiyoi to reply no, not if they're the same as they were before. and for hira to reach out to cup his cheek. kiyoi's gaze. the way hira says "i like you" and then wraps his arms around him.

[anotherblblog]

I just saw some spoilers about the MBM Eternal movie. Didn’t expect to literally hear Kiyoi moaning while being fucked by Hira in a tub. They went wild for this movie. Lmao

Utsukushii Kare Season 2 set up all it needed to show me how into their sex life Kiyoi is. From the first episode alone we get these gems:

"oh you wanted to be alone with me"

with that smile and that bright expectant face! come onnnnnnnnn

Hira: *tells Kiyoi how into him he is in his own Hira way* Kiyoi: "fuck me please"

so yes when I watched that bathtub scene, I was more surprised by Hira taking control and telling Kiyoi what to do while Kiyoi blushed and tried to demure away but Hira was like nahhhhhh he picked up from his s2e4 self and didn't hold back at all

Hira is a Kiyoi-fucking tornado and Kiyoi loves it and wants it and needs it.

Kiyoi changed his whole opinion on baths versus showers based on what Hira did to him in that tub lmaooooooo

to quote iamperez: THEY ARE FUCKING EACH OTHER!

there are truly only 2.5 high heat scenes in that nearly two hour movie so there's mostly career plot and kidnapping and Hira being insecure going on but when Riku and Yusei showed up on set for those days of filming the NC scenes, yes anon, they did go wild