#you should understand how much that would suck
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Well it's that time again for another JJK rant.
So by this point I would assume that most of you know my eternal hatred towards the enemies to lovers trope when it comes to Gojo x reader stories right.
Well we are back at it again cause I am hoping people know that this type of relationship isn't one that Gojo would ever go for. Like it's one of those things that the fandom latched on to like My Hero Academia Hawks being a flirty playboy. It's not something that fits the character but it something that so many people latched on to that they now believe that it's a thing.
Like Gojo knows his worth and value. He literally dislikes those that he views as stuck up or just down right unlikeable. Aka every reader in the enemies to lovers trope. Like you are telling me you hate this guy for no reason but it's okay because your only saving grace is that he finds you attractive.
Seriously.
That is the how 95% of them go. Also to even it out they would make Gojo do some out of pocket stuff to justify the reader treating him like dirt while also always making him the bad guy even if he did nothing wrong.
I am so sick of this copy and paste trope. Now I know i don't have to read it which I don't. If I see it I keep scrolling. Although there are gems I sadly just skip past them because I'm used to the bad and boring ones. (Lowkey reminds me of the dumbest Gojo x reader story on wattpad called Debt. Freaking dumbest reader/mc I have ever read couldn't even get past the first few chapters. The first and only time this has happened)
Another thing is bad reverse harem stories. Like I don't care the reader is 18! Why are men close to their 30s trying to have a relationship with them? Why is said 18 year old trying to have a romantic relationship with freshly turned 15 year old? Look 18 maybe considered an adult but it's still gross and it would have been better if the reader was 20 and up. Also if you want your reader to have love interests that are 15 then they should at least be under 18.
I am sick of gross age gaps, don't care if you are 20 years old dating a 30, 40, or whatever just make it legal! 18 isn't a cheat code!
Also harems suck since they either end up with no one, end up with someone not in the harem, or worst not even completed. Yet, the biggest crime is as I said it before the gross 18 year old cheat code.
Finally the last of my random rant which has to deal with genders and sexyal orientation. Stop writing about boy x boy if you are only going to stereotype them. Yes gay mean may like to be more of the feminine side but NOT all of them. Not all males who prefer to be a bottom want to wear feminine clothes and act like a femboy.
Not all trans people want to be just a title! Don't include them if you are not even going to try! Same with the non binary or gender neutrals. Don't include them but give traits that have a gender that goes against their stances. It's wrong.
Also I lied this is my final rant. Stop saying it's a reader story if you are not going to be neutral. For example giving a reader appearances that instantly alienate a reader. Sure I understand fem reader or male reader tags but to then give them hairstyles, skin tones that alienate others, or ect. I'm a POC (Person of color) and it sucks when you are reading something and instantly shown you are not included. Luckily the anime community is slowly but surely getting more inclusive. No I'm talking about those that want to read reader stories from fandoms like The Boys (Scarlett Witch took over i swear) or (Squid Games I know it's in Korea but dang why can't I be american?).
Anyway that's all. I would love to read and possibly reply to comments. Some may agree others not so much which is far I am criticizing something so it's 100 okay to throw it back!
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My sincerest apologies. I won't do it again.
BONUS ROUND!
SCHOOL MODE:
"Pack a lunch...? I expect you will make sure the sandwiches are prepared by top chefs, yes?" (I know you can't do that, but being reminded of something Taeko Yasuhiro did triggers me and I'm taking it out on you.)
"Absolutely not. That type of food is much too crude for my taste. Not to mention the threat of the contents dripping out all over my lovely garments..." (Taeko Yasuhiro would eat a burger, but not Celestia Ludenberg!)
"What a foolish question. Why would I ever have to know how to cook?" (Poking at another insecurity there!)
"Moments like this show who has been raised to recognize real worth from a young age. It may be useful for me to raise you to a certain level of culture and sophistication." (I was not raised that way.)
"Do you like that type of thing? I am not a fan. It is so very...common." (Taeko Yasuhiro would like red bean bread, but not Celestia Ludenberg!)
"Othello? You're challenging me to a game of strategy? Fine with me. I will show you just how outclassed you are. Oh, but don't worry. This is just for my own entertainment. I don't intend to make you wager. When I can already see victory as soon as the challenge is placed, betting simply spoils things." (I'll probably luck into victory, but I want you to believe it is because I used strategy.)
"I imagine you think that all you have to do is throw the dart at the board, right? Heavens, you are so pathetically misinformed. Darts is a game of advanced psychological warfare. Once you've established your technique, then the real joy of the game is revealed. However, I also like the idea of teaching you said technique and giving you the proper tools..." (None of this matters since I win through luck, and you probably will too. But it makes me look cooler to pretend otherwise!)
"I'm not sure I can understand your reason for asking, but....there is nothing I can't do, if I so desire. But do you think you are qualified to hear my singing voice in a place like this? Hmhmhm..." (My singing voice is terrible.)
"I would rather listen to a first-rate musician than bother playing something myself." (I'm afraid I'd suck at it as much as I do singing.)
"Are you confident in your singing voice, Makoto?" (Because I'm not confident in mine!)
"You mean the two of us? A duet? Why?" (I'm not fucking singing, Makoto!)
"Or are you worried about what those around you might think? Do not concern yourself with them. As long as we are satisfied with how we spend our time, that is all that matters." (I'm totally concerned with what others think of me, particularly you.)
"...Is that right? Well, if you are truly committed, then I am prepared to accept that commitment." (OH MY GOD, I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!)
"Oh? So you're giving up before you've even begun? But you truly are a C-rank. You may not have confidence, but that's really nothing to be ashamed of." (I AM FURIOUS WITH YOU.)
"Remember - this is your master's dream. As such, you should consider it *your* dream, as well. Now, let us depart. Onward, toward the day we stand atop our castle together." (I have a huge crush on you and want you always by my side, castle or no castle.)
ULTIMATE TALENT DEVELOPMENT PROGRAM:
"I'm sorry, but it's a name that even I want to say to myself several times. Celestia Ludenberg... It's a beautiful name, is it not?" (It's not my name, and I keep repeating it to help make myself believe that it is.)
"My father is of French nobility and my mother is a German musician." (They're low class Japanese workers.)
"I don't care how people perceive me... I believe that it is me and it is how I live." (I do care how people perceive me, for if they don't perceive me as Celestia Ludenberg then I'll have a hard time keeping up my own belief.)
"Is that so? I'm not particularly interested in what you have to say." (You hurt my feelings just now with what you said.)
"Oh, and I am not...lying. Celestia Ludenberg is my real name." (It isn't, but I wish with all my heart that it was.)
"However, I've decided to be served by only handsome men. That is simply non-negotiable." (I only like men! Handsome men! I'm not bi or anything, geez!)
"Oh, dear. Then who will serve me tea tomorrow?" (I know Kokichi is lying.)
"Well...I certainly hope my favorite purse has not been soiled." (I know it hasn't been.)
"What a rude assumption. I am beside myself with worry over my purse's well-being." (I am not.)
"Oh? What a relief, then. I was completely and utterly fooled." (I was not.)
"I am not lying, Kokichi. Your performance was quite convincing." (Your performance was obvious.)
"My claim is based in reality. You genuinely surprised me." (You did not.)
"So my heart cannot be shaken by lies. Unlike you, who claims to hate them." (Someone lying to me over something serious would shake me.)
"...That is not true. Dealing with nothing but lies would become very tiresome." (I want to live a lie as Celestia Ludenberg and wish everyone would lie along to accommodate me on that.)
"Kokichi...are you perhaps interested in a game of lies? If you are willing to bet everything you own, I would not mind being your opponent." (I know you won't accept that wager.)
"Unfortunately, I am not." (Taeko Yasuhiro is a weeb, Celestia Ludenberg is not!)
"Then...I will ask for your help. You must know that you cannot take your offer back, correct?" (You technically can, but I would be very upset if you did.)
ULTIMATE SUMMER CAMP:
"I'm reminded of the time I wagered my very life while aboard a cruise ship in the dead of night." (I read it in a manga.)
"Sakura, Kirumi...even Teruteru, whose culinary skills I am unfortunately forced to acknowledge...Of all those whose skills and consideration I'd accept into my castle......none are handsome men. Is that not the epitome of bad luck?" (I am Celestia Ludenberg, who only loves handsome men! Away, bisexual Taeko thoughts!)
"Very well. No hard feelings, no matter who the victor." (I will throw my controller if I don't win!)
"Oh? What ever do you mean? My real name is Celestia Ludenberg... Everyone calls me that, as they should." (It's Taeko Yasuhiro.)
"I told you...Celestia Ludenberg *is* my real name. Do you understand?" (Taeko Yasuhiro.)
"I told it to you in good faith... Your reaction is rather upsetting to me." (I AM PISSED.)
"That's correct. And if I were to get involved, I would surely end up stealing their goals." (I actually wouldn't, I really just don't care.)
"Normally, I only drink milk tea. This is quite the compromise, if I do say so myself." (I don't only drink milk tea, humans also have to drink water, why I am saying something so preposterous?)
"I don't mind. It's not like I'd want to be invited anyway." (B-baka!)
"You can go on living without becoming adults. I intend to live forever in this form, you know. Exactly. I won't age a day, and I'll live forever, closed off from time and the outside." (I will age, but none of my servants will ever point it out to me, and when I die the memory of Celestia Ludenberg will be enshrined in that castle forever.)
"Now, what ever gave you that idea? I haven't falsified a thing. I am Celestia Ludenberg, daughter of a French nobleman and a German musician. I have no other identity, and why should I be ashamed of who I am?" (I am Taeko Yasuhiro, regular Japanese girl, and I am ashamed of it.)
"My dream is to live my everyday life in a castle, waited on day and night by handsome vampires. But there aren't enough men out there who are fit to serve me. I may never realize my dream...I was hoping you could introduce me to any candidates you've met on your travels." (Don't make me come out of the bi closet!)
"Would you happen to be talking to me? My name is Celestia Ludenberg." (Taeko, not "Taco" or "Taebo".)
"Not in the slightest. My eyes are drawn to the beautiful waters rather than the ephemeral flames. I wonder if that suggests something regarding my previous life." (I am afraid of fire, for some reason, possibly relating to a past life.)
"Matches seldom do little to stir my emotions, though I am happy to inch closer to my dream." (I sometimes worry if my luck might fail me.)
"That is true. Though if you were a handsome man suiting my tastes, I'd ask you to do so. Very well. Once my castle is complete, I shall have you perform for my handsome servants." (You are attractive to me, Kaede. It's me I want you to perform for.)
Every Lie Celestia Ludenberg Told in DR1
PROLOGUE:
"I am Celestia Ludenburg." (It's Taeko Yasuhiro).
"Ludenburg. It is my name." (Yasuhiro.)
"Heh-heh. I don't know what you are talking about. Celestia Ludenburg *is* my real name." (Taeko Yasuhiro.)
"I look forward to getting to know you better." (You don't interest me.)
CHAPTER 1:
"Personally, I would love to see what happens when someone breaks one of the rules." (Please don't break the rules.)
"I am just happy, that is all." (I am terrified and despairing.)
"All we can do is adapt. Adapt to living out lives here from now on. A lack of adaptability...is a lack of survivability. Survival is not based on who is the strongest or the smartest. It comes down to who can adapt." (I wanna get out of here.)
"It is almost nighttime. I want to take a shower before it arrives." (I need to be alone; I can only keep up my poise for so long under this kind of stress.)
"Well. Hello. I hope the two of you are having a nice day." (I don't care.)
"Adaptability is survivability. Did I not say so? So you'd better hurry up and adapt to your new life here." (I wanna get out of here.)
"Hmhm. Sure, feel free." (You're being foolish.)
"Speaking of which, I have my own things to take care of. Goodbye." (I am freaking out over my precious kitty and don't want to show it in front of you!)
"It is amazing what some people are capable of." (God damn it, someone caved! I was afraid of this!)
"Continuing to think about and talk about the deceased certainly isn't going to help anything." (That sudden death freaked me out, so I need to push it out of my mind.)
"How many times have I told you? Anyone who can't adapt...will die. Death is the only thing awaiting those who are unable or unwilling to adapt. If that happens, you only have yourself to blame." (I wanna get out of here!)
"Does no one have any other thoughts or questions? It does not matter how trivial they may seem..." (A trivial thought and question will piss me off.)
CHAPTER 2:
"Whatever else is going on, I must admit things have been made much more comfortable for us. If things continue like this, the occasional class trial may not be so bad." (I still want out. And please, no more class trials.)
"There is nothing I hate more than getting water on my face." (I wouldn't mind if I didn't have all this make-up on.)
"Your roundish figure reminds me of the owner of the coffee shop I used to frequent." (You're the easiest to manipulate into servitude.)
"Hmhm. I do so love coercion." (I wasn't coercing, I sincerely lost my temper for a moment there. Things are meant to go Celestia Ludenberg's way, and I hate when they don't.)
"This is why adaptation is so crucial. If those who want to escape were to disappear, there would be no reason to continue playing the game." (I wanna get out of here.)
"It is because I am the same as you. Games are meant to be won." (I'm not the same as you, I just really wish I was.)
"How can you be so cold? You are like a piece of rock candy." (I agree, Toko is annoying.)
"Neither do I. Not because it is unpleasant, but because it is impossible." (It is possible, just severely unpleasant - it exposes who I really am, not what I pretend to be.)
"This warehouse is amazing. It has absolutely everything one might need to live a full life. From food to clothes to towels... There's an endless supply to choose from." (I don't care, I'm just trying to distract myself and you from thinking about our present horrifying reality.)
"If she hadn't broken out rule, none of this ever would have happened....You get what you deserve, I suppose." (I'm saying this coldly, but I am in fact extremely pissed off and anguished about nobody listening to my nighttime rule.)
"So you ignored the nighttime rule, too...Well, I don't particularly care. Please, continue." (Why is nobody listening to my nighttime rule? Why don't I have any control here!?)
CHAPTER 3:
"We simply have to make the best of things--do our best to get along and live here together in peace. Forget about the outside world, and accept this new life. That is the only hope we have now. Here we have every convenience. We have food, clothes, our every need is seen to. Why are you dissatisfied? In fact, let me ask you this? What is it about the outside world that you long for? Competition, discrimination, victimization and violence... As society grows, so does its perversion." (I WANNA GET OUT OF HERE.)
"Hmm... There may well be a discovery waiting for us which may further enrich our life here." (I WANNA GET OUT OF HERE.)
"A recreation room. A place for students to come and relax...Those will certainly be helpful in keeping our boredom at bay." (I WANNA GET OUT OF HERE.)
"Life here would be that much nicer if he could add some new issues once in a while. How disappointing." (I WANNA GET OUT OF HERE.)
"There *is* one piece of good news. There just so happens to be a rec room up on the 3rd floor! I have no doubt that our student life here will be even more enjoyable because of it." (I WANNA GET OUT OF HERE.)
"Whenever Hina lies, the tip of her nose gets just a little bit longer." (She'll be dumb enough to believe this.)
"And you ignored the rule regarding nighttime..." (OBEY ME AND STOP IGNORING IT, GODDAMN IT!)
"We were just talking about going to the bathhouse. We have not had a chance to relax in some time. But unfortunately, the bathhouse is not divided into men and women sections. So we decided to do rock-paper-scissors to decide which group would go first. Hina won the match for us, and that is why we are all so pleased." (Play along, everyone!)
"Personally, I've earned over one million dollars from my gambling efforts. My life is...comfortable." (But THAT amount of money could buy me the life I dream of!)
"Taka has become utterly useless." (I've actually already thought of a use for him...)
"Was it the mastermind? Did they finally notice what we were up to?" (It was me.)
"What good are you if you are too tired? You will be much more effective after a good night's sleep." (I will be keeping you up all night, Hifumi.)
"We will begin our search for Alter Ego in the morning." (No we won't.)
CASE 3 - pretty much everything is a lie until she is exposed and concedes defeat.
"I guess trying to work with someone else was a mistake, after all. Hifumi's ineptitude was beyond all my calculations." (I screwed up too, I just don't want to admit it.)
"My specialty? Don't make me laugh. I didn't have to lie to get him to agree." (I totally did have to lie, several times over.)
"Because you're stupid." (Because I hate having to hear your name.)
"That's a non-issue. I simply did everything in my power to win." (I actually did feel guilt over killing Hifumi in the moment.)
"To live in a European castle. And to gather handsome men from all over the world to server as my butlers-slash-bodyguards. I was going to make them dress up like vampires and satisfy my every need. Once I obtained that, I would have created a perfectly aesthetic world of decadence... Living the rest of my life there was my only dream, my only goal... That's what my life is all ABOUT!" (I just want a life where I can fully be Celestia Ludenberg and forever banish Taeko Yasuhiro from existence).
"Still, I don't have any regrets. I pursued my dream till the very end, so why would I?" (I have regrets. I wish I could have had hope in Alter Ego like everyone else.)
"Are you asking me to feel guilty? That's a pointless endeavor. I think nothing of sacrificing others for my own ends. I feel nothing. That's all there is to me. That's what makes me...complete." (I'm just a normal girl who does feel things, and I hate that.)
"My ability to lie is unrivaled, and I take pride in that. It's not just other people--I can even fool my own emotions. The conscious deceives the unconscious. That's right. I don't fear death. Kill me however you like." (I'm scared to die, especially in a way unbefitting of Celestia Ludenberg. Please don't give me such a death.)
FREE TIME:
"I once played a game of Russian roulette mahjong and won. It was a truly fierce contest, put on by a half-insane billionaire in the basement of his mansion. My opponents were a fierce old man and a silver-haired boy who was said to have the devil's own luck. We played with a modified rule set. I remember well the glass tiles we used... I defeated them both at once. I will never forget the angry, twisted looks on their faces. The crowd that had been invited to watch became positively riotous. Nobody could believe I had won. Hmhmhm. That is one of my fonder memories..." (I read this story in a manga once.)
"No matter how many times I hear it, I never tire of hearing my own name. Isn't it so splendidly charming?" (It's not my name, and I keep repeating it to help make myself believe that it is.)
"I did not *pick* it. My name was given to me by my mother and father..." (I picked it.)
"That's right. My father is French nobility, and my mother is part of a German family of musicians." (They're low class Japanese workers.)
"Oh, there most certainly a shogi gambling circuit. But it is all underground. It is rather shady, all things considered. I have tried my own hand at it, naturally." (Actually, it was a regular low-stakes game.)
"I didn't really understand, but apparently my final opponent was infamously powerful. She was...rather odd. She was a voluptuous woman who dressed as an exotic French maid." (I read this in a manga once.)
"So let me share with you something... I will tell you about the biggest crisis I ever faced in my gambling life. A shadowy organization was hosting a mysterious tournament... The game in which I participated was called King of Liars. It was quite a severe game. When you enter, they strip you of all your assets. Money, property, everything. You must use your wisdom, cunning, and luck to battle through challenge after challenge. For the final match, I had to face off with an odd duo... They called themselves the Honest Woman and the Liar Genius. During a break, I was careless and spilled some tea on my clothes. I was terrified that the stain would never come out. That was a very difficult time in my life. I was forced to win more quickly than I wanted, so that I could rush to the cleaners. I was able to get the stain out, but it was perilously close...If I had waited even another hour, I would have been forced to throw out my favorite dress." (None of this happened; I invented it from manga I read and a mundane incident of spilling tea on my dress during a game.)
"The worst is F-rank. If you're F-rank...I pay a special organization to have you killed. Your very existence is unforgivable." (Obviously not true, but it makes me seem fearsome.)
"Also, when you become C-rank, you gain the right to become my official servant--a knight. I have knights all across the world. They are all quite obedient." (I have no knights. I've never even left Japan.)
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If you fell for a good number of these, then congratulations:
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i will say the jealousy thing is kind of starting to piss me off
#like i love pin!! however girl you have got to work on that#anin quite literally only has eyes for you it’s not her fault everyone’s in love with her#and like have some sympathy?? uang has never once come onto anin and she wasn’t even doing tha now#she was just letting her feelings be known bc she’s literally about to be trapped in a marriage with a man she doesn’t love!!!#like. cmon#you should understand how much that would suck#liz watches the loyal pin#liz consumes media
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My favorite way to play with Gravity Falls Timestuck AU is to have Mabel trying soooo hard to have a nice and normal time hanging out the worlds two most mentally ill men while Dipper is having fun committing crimes with Stan while also desperately trying to convince him that maybe they should kill current President Ronald Reagan pretty pretty please
#Dipper: You don’t understand we’ll be heroes#Stan: For killing President Ronald Reagan?#Dipper (knowing just how much Reagan fucking sucked): Yes.#it’s one of those things that would definitely change the timeline but definitely for the better#they should kill him; as a treat <3#timestuck au#timestuck#gravity falls#gravity falls au#dipper pines#stanley pines#mabel pines#prince rambles in this chilies tonight
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with the amount that the main series dunks on the forbidden cities i would just love for unraveled to be just an unabashed celebration of humanity. like yes there is poverty and pollution and crime but also there is dancing and music and rollercoasters and scary movies. let keefe discover the beauty here! the first book was all about the wonder of the lost cities but unraveled could be all about the wonder of the forbidden cities
#i just have such a hard time with how much the series dunks on humans#which understandably so#but i just want unraveled to enjoy the forbidden cities#like if i have to read a book of keefe just being like “this food is garbage and the air smells bad and it sucks”#it would get really tired#i think there is an inherent life to humanity that the lost cities lack#there is no drive to live excitingly when you live forever because you don't have to squeeze as much as you can in#let keefe get a taste of that!!!!#its something that would SO lend itself to his character#as someone who was chronically punished as a child for being too much#LET HIM BE MUCH WITH HUMANITY#maybe all these tags should be in the post but eh#this is where i prefer to cook lol#kotlc#kotlc unraveled
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.
#not to be a broken lil man on main#but I was on the phone with my dad for 30 minutes just now (that's a lot for a phone call with him) and like.... damn. yeah. i do have one#parent who's not horrible huh#we talked a lot about my plans for the future...... which I only now told him bcs scary and bcs........ I never ever during my 25 years of#being alive got the impression from my parents that something like this would be an acceptable career choice or something they'd support#and I mean. my [redacted] of a mother is the best example for how. not alright it is with her that I'm doing something that's not very...#traditional for this family#but anyways. my dad was absolutely fucking lovely#to the point that I get getting teary eyed and felt my throat closing up cause. huh. i guess in his own way he does love me and believe in#he asked me to send him a link or a pdf of my first conference report because he wants to keep it somewhere 😭😭😭😭😭😭#I'm....... ouch. ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch#you know the ghosting I am really good at with tumblr chats (sorry guys. ilu. I just suck at communication)???? i'm also extremely good at#that with whatsapp chats and just. not calling my irl loved ones#so idk. hearing him say he understands and just wanted to make sure I wasn't upset with him and like. wanted to know if I was doing okay.#damn. okay. damn#idk#this was such a good talk and he was so suppertive and non-judgemental and I actually told him about my birthday and how my mother's call#upset me and he was like. yeah. same. and like... he's basically gone no contact with her as well as it turns out#idk. I really should give him more credit and like... I feel like there's so much shifting and change and development happening while I'm n#not there and sometimes it's hard to remember that he actually /could/ understand some things. just cause I've always been so used to not#sharing anything about myself because it wasn't safe when I was younger and... idk........ lots of emotions going on rn#so glad we talked though. so glad#simon.out.#if you read all this.... idk man.... sorry for oversharing but thanks for caring ig <3
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some of you haven't experienced true hell until you end up drowning in Horrors and your only lifeline is an individual who completely sucks and only views you as a feelgood accessory to augment their own life and you can't seek anything better for yourself because there is a rot inside your body that you cannot fix and scares literally every other human being away no matter what you do so it's either settle for being shoved into someone else's myopic fantasy mold or let every minute of your life be ruled by unfathomable loneliness and terror. as you do.
#:)#the illness is survivable the material circumstances the illness has locked me into are unbearable however#i feel wet and pathetic moaning about this because all this shit really should pale in comparison to the Literal Organ Failure#but you know how much it sucks when everything in your life either stresses you out or bums you out!#like i have uni but that's stressful on account of how unstable my schedule it is#my ability to go places and do stuff is dependent on if i can work around constant hospital appointments#and other people in my life all fail me in various ways!#my parents are understandably traumatised and 24/7 fixated on my health so no reprieve there#my friend is good and lovely but she's barely keeping her own head above water herself#and my partner....complete flop#can't talk about my illness because it upsets him and he needs comforting instead#i have to go visit him on his terms because he won't take time off work and his ocd means he refuses to leave his city#so this obviously limits when/how much i can see him since it's 2.5 hours to reach his house#and when i do see him he only really entertains Cute Gay Romance fantasy so vibe killer conversations are no go#since obviously i'm way less desirable when bumming him out talking about my mortality lmao#but that means that i can't and shouldn't really lean on him in literally any way in any matter#so i spend so many days sitting in my house dwelling on scary thoughts with not much to break it up! absolutely maddening lol#think i would kill sometimes just to have someone around who i can uncomplicatedly cry to but being in your 20s is about Not having that#fuck an organ transplant at this point i'll take having a shoulder strong enough for me to lean on!#maudlin on main again but i'll get over it
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I have learnt things about Geto that I wish I could unlearn
#I think I'm getting about the same amount of spoilers as a few weeks ago except now I understand them#But like. I expected so much of him#Seeing gifs of that one scene in which Gojo gets distracted because of Geto almost made me watch this a year ago#Geto was actually my favourite character in that one JJK fanfic I read that I mention so often even if he had literally one scene#I know so much of the emotional turmoil and conflict in JJK and Gojo in particular depends on him#And you're telling me he's Thanos?#I learnt a few days ago that everything pretty much happens in one year. That there's one year between Geto's death and Gojo's#I thought it would be like ten years. Ten years of the act haunting him#But no? So it's not a broken teenager who has these ideas and is killed by another teenager to stop him?#It's a what? ~30yo man saying Light levels of stupidity? Even worse perhaps?#Goodness I hope this is not so. I hope this is better written than what I am seeing#Because goddammit I can't do it. It would kinda ruin every emotional scene from then on?#That one scene I was so looking forwards about patting Gojo's back or whatever. The one in which Gojo gets distracted. It just. I don't know#I won't be able to be moved if Geto doesn't work xD#I was fearing I wasn't going to like him a lot because my expectations were big but oh my god please not like this#This is way worse than I expected. Someone tell me he actually makes sense. What's the point of this whole political play#in which no one is fully wrong and no one is totally right otherwise? What is the point of the haunting. This feels just idiotic xD#And I don't care about the traumas and all that. That works for the teen not the ~30yo man#It would have worked if Gojo would have killed him like 1-2 years after everything not like a few months ago. Last winter#After like ten years a 30yo man should have realised this plan sucks.#Even if it's utilitarian. Who is going to make clothes? Buildings? Streets and railways? Bread??? Go have a talk with Nanami please#We have been told there are not a lot of jujutsu sorcerers. How are you going to fulfill all those needs out of nothing?#And even if it were little by little so the needs could be getting fulfilled little by little too#If you decimate humans won't that cause more curses? I guess he's thinking on the long run but still this plan seems like a mess#I hope it makes more sense than it's looking it will make because of my god this would truly be the last nail on the coffin xD#I am being more and more tempted to get to Utahime and then just drop this. This is breaking my heart xD#It could be soooo good and it always almost is#And then. AND THEN. Abfksbfndbfkan#Jen pick me up. Come solve this. I am scared xD#I talk too much
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hotd never fails to disappoint
#w h a t#t h e#f u c k#this fandom also really sucks :/#i’ll never understand how certain team green fans can claim to love alicent and helaena and yet unironically support the side of the war#that very much wants to continue perpetuating patriarchal violence and control#aka the very thing that’s made both these female characters so very miserable#why is it so difficult for people to understand that rhaenyra becoming queen and reigning in her own right for some good long years#would force an ideological shift and would open a discussion that had been closed for a long time in westeros#alicent has suffered from the patriarchy but she also continues the cycle w/ her treatment of her children#please just please understand that you do not have to like team black nor do you have to like team black characters#but trying to justify aegon usurping rhaenyra is nonsense and completely unjustifiable no matter how hard you try to twist the situation#and please don’t try to take some centrist ‘team smallfolk stance’ bc that stance is simply one ppl take to shift the topic away#from the patriarchy and how denying a woman her legal inheritance tore the realm apart#‘but andal tradition’ bleh ‘why should the targs be ruling’ bleh ‘the small folk suffer more’ bleh ‘the dragons are nukes’ bleh#these are all red herrings meant to divert away from the main topic & are usually used by ppl to justify their support of team green#supporting the team that wishes for the continuation of the cycle is wrong#i support team black bc this is a break in the cycle and opens a discussion that westeros has needed for thousands of years#the social change would be slow but at least there’d be change!#<-of course we know this discussion didn’t rly open bc rhaenyra didn’t have a peaceful transfer of power and later died way too early on#but even tho she died so early a character in the main books series is using the precedent she set to support her own claim! (arianne)#anti team green#asoiaf fandom critical#anti alicent stans#anti aegon ii stans#pro team black#pro rhaenyra targaryen#hotd#house of the dragon#anti hotd
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At the bus stop one time there was a gaggle of preschoolers waiting to catch the bus for a field trip day, and someone walked past with a couple of friendly little dogs, to great general delight.
But after a little bit, the dogs were getting overwhelmed, and the preschoolers were gently coaxed to back off so the person with the dogs could continue on. Specifically, one of the preschool teachers said, "Sometimes, when you're small, being surrounded by big people can be a bit scary and overwhelming. Even if they are friendly."
This was recieved as great wisdom: after all, the preschoolers were also small, and understood how scary and overwhelming big people could be! And the dogs were indeed even smaller than the preschoolers, so it made sense.
What was funny and charming was that, upon absorbing and reflecting on this wisdom, they all felt the need to tell it to one another. In tones of great insight, they turned to one another and said, "Did you know? Sometimes when you are small, being surrounded by big people can be scary and overwhelming! Even if they are friendly!" Back and forth, without any particular concern that they were all saying the same thing. Have reached comprehension of an insight, it must be shared!
I must say that this behavior is less charming in tumblr users than in preschoolers. Not least because tumblr users, having gained a little analytical skill to misuse, insist on Summarizing and Generalizing and Unifying the insights they repeat, quickly turning any interesting new information into formulaic dogmatic mush.
#i made the mistake of looking in the notes of the beach sand post i reblogged to see if anyone else had interesting comments#And the rate at which it went from like#1) person states with moderate confidence an opinion based on their personal observations#2) multiple people reply with “wow thats so insightful!” (aka it aligns with my preconceived notions of how things work)#3) someone else adds additional personal observations which are not really relevant but which can be absorbed into the narrative#4) people start outright stating the underlying belief on which this bias is constructed as if it were a fresh insight#5) general derisive attitude towards people who haven't seen the Obviously Correct solution to this complex real world problem yet#It's very.......#It's not like it's a high stakes post but it's such a microcosm of the whole dogmatic phenomenon#Also this js a more specific gripe to My Field or w/e#But the degree to which people react to the problems caused by the whole “Control of Nature” era of engineering#with this equally reductive “Nature will Fix Everything” type of attitude#Is sooooo frustrating.#Yes a great many of our current problems could have been avoided if we had not made massive changes to ecosystem processes on the assumptio#That they were simple and we understood them. And that they would respond in predictable ways.#the simplicity in retrospect of “wow we Should Not have done that” does not mean that they are simple to undo!#You can't go back in time. You can't turn back the clock on chaotic processes#Which is. Almost every process ever.#Restoration is hard! Returning to previous regimes of sediment or flooding or fire is tricky and full of foibles!#Moving towards a future which doesn't suck as much even if the past cant be recreated is also uncertain and difficult!#It's frustrating to see people act all high and mighty about how they Respect Nature unlike whoever is making all these decisions#When their understanding of the natural processes in question is AS simplistic as the people who caused the whole mess back in 1910 or w/e#Like I'm not saying there's not bad interests standing in the way of functional restoration on all levels#That's very much a fight to be fought.#But looking at that fight-in-process and saying “wow none of you Respect Nature like me uwu let nature fix it”#Is.#Ugh.
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i really find it interestin that you can kinda clock an artist's age based on how self-deprecatin they are lol
#its the uh. 'OMG THIS SUCKS SO BAD!!! SAWRRY' attitude#which is like. yeah. i get it#and im an adult rn and i also dunk on my art#but i feel like the way an adult dunks on their art vs how a teen does it is. noticeable#adults usually are like 'eh. this kinda sucks but w/e' (at least i am in this camp)#teens are just way more mean to themselves and dont shut up about how much their art 'sucks'#i was there before so i understand#but i think. ppl need to realize. when theyre overly self-deprecatin and put themselves down a lot it becomes annoying#which i know is very harsh of me to say#i used to be there so i know that feelin of insecurity but MAN#once you mature more you realize that expressing yourself in such a way is kinda cringe!#PLEASE just practice being kind to yourself#i think the cringe comes from the fact that no one really likes to see that stuff#if you need comfort or anything please talk it out with someone but like.#being VERY terrible publicly to yourself just makes a lot of people uncomfortable#keep in mind. if you post it online a bunch of strangers will be seein you moan about how 'bad' you are#and guess what! they dont know you! and they wont care!#it can start with 'i dont like how it turned out but at least its done'#what matters if that you enjoy yourself#if you start being terrible to yourself about your hobby that you should be enjoying then remind yourself youre there to have fun#skypeaks#also i will add. self-deprecation will also not help you in the long run. i would know from experience#cause rather than being productive with your self-deprecation you stick to 'i just suck!!!'#rather than like 'okay. im bad at this. but what can i do to better myself??'#i say from experience. this attitude CAN affect your relationships. not in a good way#so practice bein nice to yourself. truly.#you dont even need to be NICE just be neutral#start there. start with 'im okay at this'
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I really hate how my physical body looks so so so much. unfortunately there isn't much I can do about it.
#ive got fat genetics from both parents families going back generations and ive been trying to lose weight forever#my stupod body likes being fat i can excercise like crazy and eat barely anything and i wont lose anything#i was excercising 2+ hours a day before i got sick and it made me stronger but i.stayed fat. now that im sick im weak and still fat.#and im not the kind of fat anybody can find pretty. if i could somehow not be fat id be decent to look at my face isnt bad#my skin is bad though my skin sucks#in my eyes im disgusting#and its so messed up because i dont think other fat people are gross#but i hate how i look so much that i cant imagine anyone being okay with it#like no matter how kind and understanding and sweet i am to people its never gonna make up for the fact that my body is grossly ugly#and i cant blame anyone for not liking me i get it.#sorry#this is a problem i have#bacause i just usually pretend my body doesnt exist and i wear pretty loose fitting dresses that cover me completely so but#even though i am what i am#sometimes you happen to meet a nice person and they are polite and dont seem disgusted by your existance so then your traitorous brain t#thinks hey maybe this person would be willing to marry us someday if they got to know us. which is so silly becuz theres no way thatd ever#so it makes me sad when i should be happy that a nice person talked to me. yay good job successful friendlyness. but it has to remind me#that i had this expectation from when i was a kid that id marry somone and have at least 3 kids and love my kids and take care of them and#give them everything i needed when i was a kid. and of course that never happened. because i never dated anyone. because people dont just#magically get married out of nowhere. its stupid. so i keep trying to be okay with whatever. but i guess i never stopped wanting a family.#which we know im aroace now so. i need to stop. but my brain is always bothering me about this.#why can't i just accept that no one will ever love me. why cant i be happy that they dont?#ive got cats#someday i will have irl friends again#sorry i think everything would be so much easier if i was just#this isnt a problem with an easy solutiom#i guess im gonna try to do the useless excercises again because at least it will look like im trying even though nothing will change
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Tough day rambles
In a world with a different setting id be a prophet or a person with cool visions, id be a person worthy of protection and trust and friendship. Here im just paranoid and i worry about the wrong things. Somewhere else when i dance on my way to a shop everyone thinks im full of joy and whimsy and they dont think im drunk or childish. Somewhere else i can be around people for more than 5 hours before i shut down for the rest of the day. Somewhere else i dont remind everyone im stupid and dumb and i dont describe everything i do and feel as "slight" and "little" and "a bit", im able to love romantically and dream of tenderness and give it and recieve it. Idk i just hate myself a lot.
#period moment#im unable of feeling any positive emotion currently#but its true i am worthless#i always promise myself i wont enter new fandoms because in the end theyre just reminders of how ill never be cool and enough etc#i wish i had a confirmation that im not that bad#old man journalist who came to our uni said oooh i thought you were american with your accent and how much u use the word 'like'#i told him my vocabulary is just really really bad and he laughed but yeah omg what a way to tell me im dumb#and also guy from class texting me transphobic pro trump stuff just cause he wants me to give him arguments against what he says#why#just why#and im bad at german#and i havent started writing my article even tho i have over a month to do it#and i dont understand in between wars economics in germany#and i cant write my coalecroux and theres no point of continuing there are much better writers#everything i do is wrong and i dont understand what i should understand#disgusting uh i feel disgusting#my mom told me that her boyfriend got a “beautiful” christmas gift for me#dude why WHY would you buy me things that can be described as beautiful#i hate christmas#i just want to be somewhere else in a different world#i want to be in avantris i want to use magic i dont want to be human#i wish i was older because maybe when youre like 27 your opinions and feelings matter#but im over here rocking back and forth and sucking on a necklace like a fucking baby watching wizard of oz#how do you stop hating yourself i dont get it#i dont fuckinf understand anything#everything is clouded with my desire to be dead or somewhere else and its been like this for a decade i just want it to stop#goodnight i hope i dont fucking wake up i hope my cat scratches my stomach open and eats my body so im useful for something
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idk it rlly gets to me sometimes to be told that I like don’t get it/don’t care about trans youth or whatever whenever I am vocally critical of democrat politicians cause. idk I AM trans youth, I struggle a lot and get treated like shit a lot for it, by politicians and people who should care about me and idk, have y’all ever been kicked out as a teenager and had to call the only adults who support you to come pick you up as a lonely suicidal trans kid? have you ever had to walk home from pride cause you can’t call your parents? ever been outed to your parents against your will and without your knowledge? cause I have and it rlly sucks. having my own experiences and rights used against me, as a token to silence me and others is rlly frustrating and upsetting. It was so lonely being a trans teenager and I spent a lot of time trying to connect with other lgbt+ people but especially younger trans people at my high school (lowerclassmen at the time) when I was a teenager cause I knew how lonely it was growing up with no one to see you for who you are.
People talk down on me for speaking out against politicians who have done nothing to secure my safety or rights, my right to exist because it is “too controversial,” ever since I was a child, and things are somehow even worse now… like I don’t live in the south, like I don’t see the obituaries of murdered trans people on my social media every day, like I don’t see tv ads from local politicians insulting eachother via support for people like me aka “letting men in girls bathrooms” and like I don’t have to see signs around local places bathrooms that say transphobic stuff. like I somehow don’t get it even though *I* don’t feel safe or comfortable no matter which bathroom I’m in, like I don’t have evangelical conservative “”redneck”” family members who would pop a blood vessel in their face if they saw what I look like now, like I don’t get called slurs by strangers or experience crazy micro aggressions in public & at work, like I didn’t have the experiences of being one of the literal handful of openly queer people in my southern public school.
Do you guys even know what it’s like for trans people in the south?? do you know how often trans kids get assaulted in bathrooms at school? it’s so fucking scary to hear from my friends from Florida, to hear them talk about how their friends got assaulted in their high school bathrooms, to hear about the crazy shit their teachers and classmates and politicians said….
idk. y’all don’t know me. You don’t know my story, you don’t know how hard I’ve fought just to be here. I don’t rlly have a point, I just wish people would stop saying stuff like that in my replies. I can take getting screamed at and flipped off irl but this type of stuff is worse and for some reason it rlly gets to me.
I know it’s the internet and ppl are going to be cruel but sometimes it makes me feel very isolated from my community and it drives me crazy because like, damn what about me? Am I not the trans youth too?? am I not included in that, are my opinions thoughts and experiences not important just cause I’m loud abt my opinions in a way u disagree with…??
#jeez you know#when I was in the mental hospital as a teen#most of the people in at the same time was lgbt+ in some way…#I was lucky that there was a butch lesbian nurse that was very kind and supportive#but I still got outed by the therapist to my mom even though I asked her not to tell her and said explicitly she would not support me 👍#so yea…ppl acting like I don’t get how much trans ppls lives suck it makes me depressed lol#literally go look at my bio go thru my post history I promise you my life also sucks ok.#my family is from the bible belt 😐#us politics#transphobia#maybe we should all be nicer (yes including me) and try to do more for our communities esp irl . I have a lot to work on but I just can’t b#silent… not after hearing the stories of Palestinian-Americans & Jewish ppl & trans ppl & houseless people and all the other folks around m#talk to Palestinians in your own communities more & maybe you will understand why I am so upset & vocal ab it all of the time#trans#.txt
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Eternal gales isat au except Bloom is the one looping and she never fucking escapes due to the curse of being 9 years old. Oh and also the middle aged woman actively sabotaging her at every step of the way ig
#rat rambles#eternal gales#for context in the main version of the au I have au aris as loop and as such in any swapped looper hypotheticals their loops would be their#au antag counterpart and just so happens bloom has by far the worst one to be stuck with#all the other au antags would play varying degrees of nice but au bloom very much Would Not.#au bloom's whole motivation in canon eg was kickstarted by their original universe being destroyed after all#and to have that happen after being stuck in timeloop hell? she would Not be ready to let the universe fuck her over without a fight#and this is only one drop in the bucket of many Many reasons that bloom would have a unquely fucked up and horrific time if she was looping#fydd wouldn't have a great time either but I do think au fydd would be nicer to him no matter how low that bar is#au fydd would be incredibly unstable and angry but he wouldn't necessarily blame fydd for that I think#seeing his literal younger self go through what had broken him as a teenager would probably get him to try to keep it together#he'd understand theyre both victims that got massively fucked over#au sier would probably get closest to loop in terms of helpfulness but probably still less helpful if that gives you any idea of how#useless these fuckers would be like even the ones who would legitimately try would just sorta suck at it I think#owl in particular would probably be Way too stuck in the playing mysterious zone to be very helpful#au fydd just wouldn't know shit nor know how to go about explaining shit#au aris would be very very distant with their advice and take a very mia appreach to things (take a clost look at your evidence esc)#au mase would be dead silent 99% of the time#and as said au bloom would be actively sabotaging everything at any chance she could get#now aris and sier are so nicies to me by having au antags that already have easy loop names#owl already altered her name in canon after all and while uni isnt here au aris can still borrow their name#thank god sier isnt the main character here if the act 6 twist was revealed with sier awf owl full name drop thatd be horrible lol#isat spoilers#justttt realized that I should add that. thats what happens when you post at 4 am ig#speaking of time to pass out
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#idk how to tag this but it’s about my dad who i just went NC with bc he’s abusive and hasn’t changed#so if you don’t want to read keep scrolling i don’t care i just need to fucking do something#i’ve passed rage and now i’m just sad#and i feel bad about being sad bc i don’t want to be sad bc being sad SUCKS#i feel like i’m burdening my friends by telling them the shit my dad did to me#ik realistically im probably not but i just#only three people would truly understand the situation#my mom my sister and my childhood best friend#my sister is off limits bc i’m not putting her in the middle of this again#my mom was also abused by my dad and i don’t want to trigger her or make her feel bad so i don’t feel like#i can always go to her about this shit#and i don’t want to take advantage of my best friend’s listening ear even though she is being supportive of me and everything#like i just feel guilty and i feel like im burdening others with my burden#i want it to all stop i just want to stop being sad#i want to stop feeling like im 7 year old me hiding in the pantry from my dad#i don’t want to go to work i don’t want to do anything really#and it’s not like i want to die i just want to stop feeling like this#i want to stop feeling like i somehow fucked everything up when it was my dad’s fault#ik i should book another therapy appointment but i can’t with the way my week is next week#and idk i’m just#im not having a good time#i’ve taken an ativan every night this week bc of all this#previous to this idk when the last time i took an ativan even was#and i’m not trying to read into it too much but its hard not to when ive gone literal months without taking it#and now i’m taking it every night so i don’t stay up half the night bc my brain won’t shut up
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