#let keefe get a taste of that!!!!

[cavennmalore]

with the amount that the main series dunks on the forbidden cities i would just love for unraveled to be just an unabashed celebration of humanity. like yes there is poverty and pollution and crime but also there is dancing and music and rollercoasters and scary movies. let keefe discover the beauty here! the first book was all about the wonder of the lost cities but unraveled could be all about the wonder of the forbidden cities

[saintmuses]

❝𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙬𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙝 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙚𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙮, 𝙮𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙥𝙤𝙞𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙞𝙣 𝙖 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙮 𝙜𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙨❞

Pairing:

Jackson Rippner x Reader

Summary:

She had thought about calling him pathetic, but something shifted inside of her mind, and the word dissolved from her tongue. A little butterfly effect that changed their ending.

Warning(s): SMUT. Slightly dub-con at first. Teeth markings. Praise kink. Fingering. P in V. Enemies to lovers. Slight possessive!Jackson. Minors, dni! Note: this was inspired by the scene where Jackson held Lisa against the wall before throwing her down the stairs. Plus I have a thing for Jackson’s biting kink 🌝.

Word Count: 1.8k

Jackson was behind her, too close, and he pressed her up against the wall in the hallway with both of his hands, both on the wall. Her face turned to the side against the white painted wall, and she could feel his chest rising and falling against her back.

"I don’t want you to touch me." Y/N hissed, exhaling against the cool wall.

She had hoped she would wake up from her nightmares when the sweet person she had met in the line turned into a blackmailing psychotic man who only crossed paths with her for an assignment that she knew he’d failed.

It was real.

"I'm afraid, sweetheart, I don't believe you," he murmured, his voice steady and calm before running his nose along her hair, and she felt an involuntary shiver roll up her spine at the deep tone in his voice.

"Why can’t you leave me alone since I did what you forced me to do?" she questioned vehemently with a little lie slipping through her lips since she had called Cynthia to get Senator Keefe out prior arriving to her house.

Glaring down the hallway as she felt him exhaling a soft chuckle into her hair. He then moved her hair to the side, nuzzling at the curve of her neck.

"Because it is my job to ensure the mission is completed, then I can leave you alone. The question is should I really leave you alone?" He asked huskily as he reached around to her front, and she could feel his fingers gripping her abdomen. She couldn't do anything but to let him guide her back into his body.

She attempted to pull away from him, pressing her fingers against her wall.

Without thinking of any consequences, she leaned forward enough to raise her lips to expose her teeth, and his sleeve were pushed back along with the blazer as he had laid it against the wall when she sunk her teeth into his forearm that was resting against the wall.

He made a noise almost like a grunt, and she could feel him exhaling harshly against the back of her neck. "You like to play dirty, don't you?" He chuckled; the sound rumbled in his chest which vibrated on her skin. "My girl," he said affectionately. "Don't you realize I fight dirty too." He hissed; a hint of dark promise crept into his voice.

She dug her teeth into his arm a little more, tightening her jaw when his hand slowly grazed her skin between her thighs. She was wearing black skirt which granted him easy access, but he had other ideas, he reached down with his unoccupied hand as it grazed the curve of her ass and gripped the elastic fabric around her waist to draw the material away from her body. She gasped when she felt the article of clothing sliding down her legs, leaving her in panties.

"So, you don’t want me?" Slowly, very gently, his hand rose further up into the juncture of her thighs and began to stroke her folds through the thin fabric that had her tightening her jaw even more. "Fucking you with my fingers?" A ragged sound made its way to her ear as he exhaled roughly. "Christ, Y/N. I could never get enough of you."

She felt like she could agree, nearly echoing the sentiment. Her knees shook when his fingers stroke over her skin, igniting a slow burning warmth that washed over her, and she leaned further into the wall.

She swallowed hard, biting down on his arm a little more firmly even as he stroked her, his fingers insistent against her folds, and she tasted slight rustic blood touching her tongue. She realized she had split his skin, and she felt somewhat smug because he inflicted the same to her before when he bashed his head against hers to knock her out in the airplane.

It was only fair.

She could feel a slight rumble against her back as he chuckled, "my girl." He appraised her.

His touch slipped in the panties, to finger further between her folds, finding moisture and spreading it almost lazily. He was breathing deeply in her ear, and she swore she could feel his heart hammering against her back. She was breathing heavily, too, her nostrils flaring as her mouth clamped tightly around the muscle of his arm.

Something between them had changed, which had him pressing her harder into the wall, and his hand wasn't gentle anymore, but she didn't care. Her body craved his touch, craved the heat and the coiling tightness in her belly, the way her knees were shaking and every nerve ending in her body seemed to shut down when his fingers flickered over her clit making her back arched into his chest.

She gasped, releasing the muscle of his arm to see the imprints of her teeth on his skin, reddening slightly. His arm disappeared from her vision, and she jumped slightly when she felt his fingers gripping the sides of her hips. 

She then flinched when she felt a sting around her thighs and hips, realizing he had ripped the fabric off her body.

He then pulled her hips backwards, allowing her to feel his hardened cock in the confines of his dress pants, and she shivered in anticipation.

She could hear the metal grating against metal, and she realized he was undoing his zipper. She shivered as her breathing came into tiny huffs of air to slow down her heart. 

He then shifted, moving her legs apart slightly with his. She felt his thick cock nudging between her thighs, and she could feel him breathing heavily at the sensation her increasingly wetness provided.

"Jackson," she whispered, not at all sure whether she was telling him to stop or begging to continue.

"Say my name again, Y/N." He growled against her neck; a low moan of his name torn from her lungs as the pleasure rippled throughout her body when he thrusted into her.

"Good girl," he said softly before pulling back slightly, his voice slithered across her skin, close to her ear. Something inside her quivered, though she tried to ignore the sensation.

She gasped against the wood when he thrusted back into her gently. His thick cock stretching her that she knew she wouldn't be able to find anyone to compare to.

She pushed her head into the plaster slightly when he shifted his angle, and she could feel his cock brushing against the cervix that had her gasping more in pleasure and a twinge with pain.

He then pushed her off of his cock, and she immediately protested due to the loss of being filled. 

He turned her around and lifted her up by her waist before carrying her over to the bedroom nearby. Luckily, it was a bedroom assigned for guests.

He dumped her unceremoniously on the bed, making the bed springs squeaking slightly. He removed his blazer, throwing it somewhere in the room before unbuttoning his dress shirt. Once that ended up on the floor as well, he reached behind his head to grab the fabric of his shirt to pull it off, and he allowed his dress pants to fall to the floor before kicking them to the side after removing his shoes. She looked at him, analyzing his body before he got on top of her, his knees were on both sides of her hips, and he leaned back on her thighs.

He reached for the hem of her dress shirt, pulling upward to reveal her white laced bra cupping her breasts, and he sat on her thighs once again after she was free from the confines of her shirt. He then slid his palms up her bare sides of her abdomen before reaching for her bra.

She released a shaky breath as she arched into his touch as he pushed her bra up and over her breasts, his hands cupped her breasts, gripping them in a possessive grasp. "Mine." He rasped before leaning down to capture a nipple in his mouth.

Arching her back after feeling his tongue swirling around her nipple, and she inhaled sharply when he sucked the skin into his mouth long enough to form a discolored spot. The torture was delicious, slow but deliberate when he continued to mark her skin with discolored spots.

A trace of a smirk hovered at the corners of his lips as he moved away from her thighs to the side of her leg after withdrawing his mouth from the swell of her breasts.

He pushed her legs upward until it was enough for him to nestle between her thighs, draping her thighs on top of his as he sat back on his knees. She gasped lightly when his fingers tangled in her strands, gripping it slightly with curled fingers, tilting her head forward by his urge, putting her elbows on the mattress, then she moved slightly, and she could see his cock pulsing slightly. 

She felt the heat of tendrils curling at the base of her spine, curling all around her as she bit down on her lips when he gripped the base of his cock with a curl of his fist. 

She could see him staring at her with a heavy amount of lust in his depths. "You're so beautiful," he shuddered before moving forward.

She inhaled sharply when he pushed his cock against her clit, the feeling burned her from the inside out. Before she could exhale, the air caught in her throat when he leaned down to smash his lips on hers with intensified raw passion. His grip in her hair tightened when he thrusted forward, and she released a loud gasp that edged on a moan when she felt him filling her up in every way.

Her neck arched when he pulled her head back after releasing her lips as he trailed his lips down to her jaw, revealing her neck to his hungry gaze. "God, I'm never going to let you go." He groaned slightly as her walls clenched around his thick cock. She shuddered when he withdrew from her momentarily before shoving his cock back into her with a brutal strength.

No one was able to make her feel like this. 

So hot, and dangerous. 

She cried out in pleasure and pain when she felt his teeth making its way in the spot of her neck, and she gripped his back with her fingers, digging in slightly when he tightened his jaw as he thrusted back into her.

His thrusts were so powerful that she knew she'd be sore for days and nights. 

She slid her fingers down his slightly damp skin of his spine, slowing down as she reached for his ass to pull him deeper into her.

She could not get enough. 

"Why me?" She gasped when he withdrew from her neck, she could see a little speck of blood -her blood- brimming around his lips before he leaned down to kiss her.

He exhaled into her mouth, sharing air with her as he slammed his hips into her. 

"Because you're mine."

[divasire]

❦ ꗃ⋆࣪. Introduction.

hey diva dolls! It’s larra darling, your fav diva & your girlfriend’s fav diva!

here are some divalicious things about me!

❦ I’m a 18 year old, girly! my birthday is July 5th & I’m a cancer. ♋︎ #moonchild ☾ ⋆ ˚｡⋆

❦ I’m african american + nigerian 🇳🇬 & congolese! 🇨🇩

❦ pink, black, & gold are my favs! + I love shimmer & glitter!

❦ I loveee vanilla & fruity smells, smelling like a treat is my specialty!

❦ I’m also extremely introverted, my alone time is sacred to me.

❦ my favorite eras are the 50s-2016 for fashion, music, films, I’m obsessed!

❦ my spirit animals are definitely a fawn & then a leopard! I find myself having so much similarities to them personality wise & also look wise!

❦ hibiscus 🌺 & cherry blossoms are my fav flowers! 🌸

❦ I love peace signs ☮︎ music notes ♫ & swirls ꩜ they’re my ultimate fav!

❦ I’m a sucker for mythical creatures but my #1 would have to be vampires! #teamdamon #teamklaus & #teamedward

❦ I love physiological horror, mystery, romance, drama, & comedy films!!

❦ my music taste is so diverse, I love music to the core, some artists I’ve been listening to recently would have to be sade, kali uchis, a$ap rocky, rihanna, ciara, chief keef, sexy red, deftones, cocteau twins, childish gambino, whew chile… the list goes on.

now that we’ve handle the basics, let’s get to the juicy stuff!

❦ ꗃ⋆࣪. what inspired me to start this blog?

I love creating it’s been a passion since I was little & honestly, having so much free time, I feel like I have a purpose, to spread my word, & to inspire people! after reflecting I notice how im usually the therapist friend (which we know has it’s cons & pros) but it really made me want to help others, & also showcase my mindset! I’ve been like this since a kid, & as I get older, it embraces.

❦ ꗃ⋆࣪. what to expect?

I have so many ideas for this blog, you guys are going to be fed! I have so many different series I want to do, I want to keep it girly, & positive! so stay in tuned, diva dolls!

❦ ily! & I’m always so grateful for the support, you cuties have shown me!

that’s all for now!

- kisses from, diva.💋

[guvmy]

KOTLC Favorite ice creams flavors!

Sophie-Rocky Road, I feel like Sophie was a sucker for chocolate and Rocky Road gives me Mallowmelt vibes, with it having marshmellows.

Fitz-Mint Chip, I think he'd like the fresh minty flavor and would hunt for the choclate chips like pirates digging for treasure with Biana (and Alvar before shit went down)

Keefe- Cookie's n Cream, seems like a guy with a huge sweet tooth

Biana- Green Tea, I feel like she'd want a nice calm earthy flavor to soothe her after all the shit going on

Tam- Chocolate, I feel like he'd have a basic ice cream flavor since it doesn't really matter that much too him.

Linh - Salted Caramel, especially sea salt, This girl also has a massive sweet tooth and indulges on any sweet food since that was her and Tam had least access to in Exilllium.

Marella- Mango Sorbet/Ice cream I feel like she'd like Sorbet more honestly but for the sake of the title, Ice cream. Its fruity, tropical and sunny, all stuff Marella would seem into (I was tempted to put Vanilla Ice cream for her but decided thats too basic for her.)

Maruca- Butter Pecan, she seems like a girl who'd like nuts (Pun unintended) Especially Pecans. I also imagine her family served something like Pecan Pie at holidays and had a secret family recipe of theirs.

Mr. Forkle...-dirt

Umber- Toffee, likes sweet syrupy tastes like Toffee,. No need for spoons since she has shadowflux! She also likes to let it melt a little so she can drink it like a soup.

Trix- Pumpkin pie, Im getting lazy atp so yeah. (wrote this after the rest of them but wanted umber and trix to be next to eachother)

Fintan- Vanilla, if his fossilized ass is even aware of icecream, this dude is every bit basic and if he does know about icecream, he probably has nostalgia of collecting snow and shredding fruits on it from the 3rd century

Gisela- Coffee, she wouldn't have much of a sweet tooth in my mind honestly

Alvar- Pistachio, preferably with chocolate chips. Much like Fitz...Erm he judges people and shops on how good their Pistachio Ice cream is since he a connoisseur on this flavor. Will down a whole tub of this actually.

Ruy- Strawberry, he's not much into icecream so anything will do but he does a small preference for Strawberry since its nice and refreshing adn he likes fruits with a tang.

(This hurt my fingers)

[kriskrossapplesauce05]

Okay so, I'm still in the kotlc fandom, right? But I haven't kept up reading the books in a while since I was very busy with school and tbh the fandom gave me a bad taste since everyone is always like "Everything is about Keefe now" and "the writing has decreased drastically" (i cannot confirm or deny this because i'm still stuck on the sixth book [lodestar, ithink???], but i hope i can make a judgement of my own soon)

Anyhow I decide to take a break from the series and pick up a new one called "silber" (it's a german series and pretty nieche, so finding info about this could be a bit difficult) and I kid you not it has SO MANY resemblances to kotlc, or at least the characters do, 'cause plot wise, it's very different.

Basically, the MC (Liv, ♀️, 15-16) after moving with her mom, sister and their nanny (Lotti) to England, to meet the mom's new boyfriend and his kids Grayson (♂️, 17-18) and his sister (♀️,17-18) and get this.

Grayson and Florence both have brown hair, okay, pretty average. But after it's revealed that Liv and co. will move in, Florence freaks the fuck out and Grayson seems very indifferent, up until that point, Grayson and Florence are repeatedly reffered to as "perfect" by the MC. Sound familliar?

Anyhow, we skip forward and we meet a bunch of characters, but one I want to focus on is Henry, Henry is characterized as the sarcastic, rebellious one of his friend group and in the book it is often refferenced that he has some sort of

family issues tm

okay, common trope, nothing special, lets get back to grayson, in the beginning the writer likes to scare the audience into believing that the MC and Grayson are gonna get together, yk, the step siblings. But nevermind that, that whole thing get's thrown out the window like after the first quarter of the book. But we find things out about Grayson, such as the fact that he likes sport and he has a fear of letting down the one's he loves,......anywayyyyy

Okay, now get this, Grayson and Henry are Best friends from childhood...*deep inhale* Also did I mention Henry was blond???????

And the most obvious things for last are:

- Liv, the MC, has a big FAT crush on Henry and the writer is not subtle about this AT ALL, like, it's very much in your face

- the second thing is, that henry has expressed that he wishes he could meet someone LIKE HIM (refferencing the MC, Liv)

Am I cursed? Am I cursed ? Or just imagining things like ???? Am I doomed forever to only read books wearing the lense of kotlc, everything is kotlc I could read Pride and Predjuce and still only percive all the connections it has to kotlc, I can't escape kotlc please god help me help help help

[bookwyrminspiration]

Thoughts on Sophie’s love interests/their relation to her?

Okay I'm gonna try and cover a breadth, but let me know if I missed one! (this got long)

Sokeefe: Spoke about it more here, general idea is I think Keefe's become stagnant and is constantly inhibiting the plot/Sophie to an aggravating degree. He's unhealthily obsessed with her + praises her, yet is constantly meddling/steamrolling in a way I don't enjoy. I think he needs a life outside her and to actually experience consequences--Sophie should hate him for a while. As a treat. Sokeefe's execution was too quick for my tastes, but is still salvageable.

Sophitz: I'm biased; I love Fitz. He's shown remorse and growth, he spent his childhood looking for her while she spent hers wishing for someone like her. Sophie, without knowing or trying, completely annihilated all the pedestals Fitz stood on. Manifested younger, transmits farther, blocks better, etc. She's unwillingly everything he wanted to be. There's this tension, an undertone of subconscious jealousy to it all. Then the matchmaking makes it painfully clear what different worlds they come from, but it's gloriously frustrating because it didn't have to end like that, yet it was always going to, you know? They could've talked, they could've waited--but they were giddy and rushed in too soon (they never would've waited) and now they're further apart than ever. Really really hoping to see them re-find each other and establish something true and strong, non-romantically

Sodex: Sophie feels weird about it because they're technically cousins, so we're not starting strong (if Sophie didn't care, neither would I, but that's a separate thing). Furthermore, Dex fell hard for the first person in the world to not be a bigoted ass to him. Very low bar, very sweet and innocent, but entirely doomed to fail from day one. The crush was one-sided and built on nothing, the friendship forming later based on actual interactions and getting to know each other, which I think is a more compelling and sensible direction for the two of them. Dex is quick, stubborn, petty, and loyal. Big fan of what they've got now.

Sophiana: The pettiness of the first book, the push and shove. The nudge from Alden, the betrayal. Sophie consumed Biana's family's existence before she could walk, Biana always left out wanting until suddenly she was There. This thing she'd been excluded from made flesh to hate. A ratty, weird antithesis to Biana's princess reputation. The bridging of that gap and the sincerity they develop is beautiful. The ways Sophie opens Biana's eyes and Biana fights in turn to be there for her. Hoping we get more from them in-depth in the future

Solinh: Linh's resilient, caring, has spent a lifetime being an unwanted danger afraid of herself and hasn't had the time to find herself outside of survival. Sophie revolutionized Linh's world, enabled her to find the space she needed to grow and breathe easier. She's scary powerful, determined, and joyful--all of which Sophie would benefit from in turn. They could go on a journey of self-discovery and building confidence together, though right now their one-on-one scenes are a little lacking

Sopharella: Lot of layers to these two. One of her first friends, but despite that was one of the last Sophie actually got to know. Marella wanted to join and blamed Sophie for leaving her, decided it wasn't for her, then was dragged into it all anyway. They've never been super close, but are still tied together in ways they don't understand (Caprise's relationship to the Neverseen). Neither of them want to be in the situation they're in, and yet. They're in a sort of truce, but it doesn't seem either of them are doing anything to move beyond that

Hekster: Ah, rivals to lovers. Stina's unstable superiority, distancing herself from them in hopes no one remembers hey, weren't your parents...? The immaturity of "you laughed at me. you didn't even know me but you took his side" (paraphrased, Lodestar). The "We good, Foster?" Lot of hostility, but a lot of growth on Stina's part in this one (said because like 90% of Sophie's hostility is in reaction). Solid up until Stellarlune. However, I find the imbalance of that hostility to detract from the rivalry's appeal; if it was genuinely mutual instead of Stina being a bully and Sophie defending herself, I'd be more into it.

Sotam: Adore Tam. The defiance, the stubbornness, the way he'd rather fuck off and yet he's become part of this group almost against his will. The quiet burden he's given himself his whole life, the fear and responsibility. The way he'd choose Linh over the world. He's indebted to Sophie for saving Linh, for getting them out and getting her to an environment where she could connect and build her confidence. He's saved her in turn. They've got a sort of silently orbiting each other thing going on. I personally find their backgrounds (as Others), defiance, and humor to best serve a strong platonic bond.

Lopster: I don't even need to explain myself 100/10 no notes

[kotlc-deleted-scenes]

Neverseen Deleted Lines (Raw text, screen-reader friendly)

Any relevant description provided by Shannon on the quote image will be included before the quote itself.

1. Deleted Keefe Line. Quote text:

"And no more of that lazy writing stuff!" Keefe told them. "We expect our clues to rhyme!"

2. Quote text:

"Darkness is only temporary," Mr. Forkle said when they reached the bridge that would separate them. "And it helps us appreciate the light."

3. Deleted Dex line. Quote text:

Dex snorted. "Sophie can Telepath you under the table."

4. Deleted Fitz line. Quote text:

"I hate when you call yourself that," Fitz told Sophie. "You're not a freak. You're…kind of amazing."

5. Deleted Biana line. Quote text:

"Does that mean we're walking there?" Biana asked, probably realizing that purple kitten heels hadn't been the best shoe choice.

6. Deleted Tam line. Quote text:

"I've learned to embrace the darkness."

7. Quote text:

"I drank that tea stuff this morning," Fitz said, stretching his shoulder and wincing. "It tasted like banshee toenails."

"How do you know what banshee toenails taste like?" Sophie wondered.

"DON'T TELL HER," Keefe shouted from down the hall. "WHAT HAPPENS AT A LEVEL THREE MIDTERM PARTY STAYS AT A LEVEL THREE MIDTERM PARTY!"

8. Deleted Keefe line. Quote text:

"Will you two quit stalling?" Keefe asked, marching into the dim bedroom. "I mean, I know Fitz is jealous that my human costume is way cooler than his, but he's just going to have to get used to it."

9. Quote text:

"What's the password?" Keefe asked, blocking Sophie from entering the treehouse. "Hint: the answer is the same as whichever one of us is the best looking."

"Not now, Keefe," Sophie begged.

"Keefe! You answered correctly! Welcome to the Fortress of Awesome!" He stepped aside to let them pass, then blocked them when he saw Biana. "Okay—what are you wearing?"

Biana turned as crimson as her furry onesie—which zipped up over her head. "The Black Swan has horrible taste in pajamas."

10. Quote text:

"Physic will be here soon to check on you," Mr. Forkle told Fitz. "In the meantime, you should curl up with your Mr. Snuggles and try to sleep."

"Ugh, Keefe told you about that?" Fitz asked.

Mr. Forkle nodded. "I believe he's currently trying to convince the rest of your friends to call you the Snuggler from now on."

"I thought it was Lord of the Snuggles," Sophie corrected.

Mr. Forkle cracked a smile. "I'll say this for Mr. Sencen. He's definitely creative."

"AWWWWWW—I KNEW THE FORKLENATOR LOVED ME!" Keefe shouted from down the hall.

11. Quote text:

"I think you need a day off," Sophie told Calla. Let me cover your 'To Do' list."

"You cannot sing to trees. And you should be training. Not washing dishes."

"Hey, my human mom used to say, 'if you have two hands you can put them to work.'"

Calla smiled at that. "I'm glad they gave you a good mother—mothers, actually. Lady Ruewen has always been one of my favorites. As has your genetic mother.

Sophie froze. "You know who she is?"

"I suggested her. Please do not ask more than that."

12. Quote text:

"All right then," Physic told them. "I think you can all survive without me for a few hours. Then again, this is the famous Sophie Foster, so there may be another medical disaster soon."

Keefe snorted. "Sounds like word is out in the Physician's circles."

"Oh, it is," Physic agreed, tossing her braids. "And not just on Sophie. You have quite a file as well."

Keefe shrugged. "It happens. You hang with the Foster, you get hur…"

His voice trailed off as he seemed to realize his joke was a bit too close to reality.

Physic cleared her throat. "What you're experiencing right now is what we call 'foot in mouth disease," she told Keefe. "And sadly, I have no cure for that."

13. Quote text:

"Where do you live?" Tam asked.

Sophie chewed her lip. "I'm not allowed to tell you that either."

Tam tilted his head to study her. "Sounds like you have a lot of secrets."

"So do you," she reminded him.

"Maybe," he agreed. "But I'm the one asking questions, trying to figure out if I can trust you."

"You can," Sophie assured him.

"Said the girl standing in my camp, who won't trust me enough to tell me where she lives."

"It's not just my secret! I live with my friends—and it's the Black Swan's hideout."

His eyebrows raised. "Let me guess. You're not going to tell me what the Black Swan is?"

"Not yet," Sophie admitted. "Hopefully someday."

[luxe-pauvre]

BEST OF 2022

Read:

Incarnadine, the Bloody Red of Fashionable Cosmetics and Shakespearean Poetics

Psychology, Misinformation, and the Public Square

Everyone Is Beautiful and No One Is Horny

agency/satisfaction

Actually, Let’s Not Be in the Moment

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Adam Savage on Lists, More Lists, and the Power of Checkboxes

Our Pseudonymous Selves

The skincare con

consistency is proficiency

Hundreds of Ways to Get S#!+ Done - and We Still Don’t

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modern malaise

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The Odor of Things

What It Takes To Put Our Phone Away

Personal Style Is Dead And The Algorithm Killed It

The Philosopher of Feelings

Orwell’s Roses by Rebecca Solnit

Expert by Roger Kneebone

Empire of Pain: The Secret History of the Sackler Dynasty by Patrick Radden Keefe

The Act of Living by Frank Tallis

Seven and a Half Lessons About the Brain by Lisa Feldman Barrett

The Joy of Science by Jim Al-Khalili

The Tyranny of Merit: What’s Become of the Common Good? by Michael J. Sandel

Sedated: How Modern Capitalism Created Our Mental Health Crisis by James Davies

Watched:

Literary Rendezvous at Rue Cambon: Girl.

In the library of Charlotte Casiraghi

Brave New World vs Nineteen Eighty-Four featuring Adam Gopnik and Will Self

Peaky Blinders (S6)

Killing Eve (S4)

The Decade the Rich Won

Everything Everywhere All At Once

Severance

Listened To:

Alt J’s The Dream

Beyonce’s Renaissance

Went To:

Swan Lake @ Royal Opera House

Fabergé in London: Romance to Revolution @ the V&A

Ancient Greeks: Science and Wisdom @ the Science Museum

Vision & Virtuosity by Tiffany & Co. @ Saatchi Gallery

Henry Marsh in conversation with Will Self

Feminine power: the divine to the demonic @ The British Museum

[anonymous-kotlc-thoughts]

Okay, so I have like this really depressing and kinda cool headcanon about Elysian and how Kam can be supported in this. Or maybe it’s just an au idk, but let’s get this started.

Elysian is evil, and has made a deal to get released with Gisela. For all I’m morphing with this, it can mean that Elysian could bend, manipulate, and break Gisela. Which would be nice to give that bitch a taste of her own medicine.

With that in mind, Elysian talks Gisela into “waiting” on Keefe’s transformation and this kill Sophie instead. Gisela does so by throwing her victims own dagger (hope) and killing Sophie in a beat. Keefe, now devastated that his own girlfriend just got murdered in front of him decides to lash out on Gisela. But Elysian stops it all in a single word, wait, and takes the trip army with Sandor to dominate the world.

No matter the Blackswan’s attempts to defeat the neverseen, it was clear that they couldn’t do it without Sophie. During the time, Fitz and Keefe reconnect but argue a lot more. Tam and Dex become close friends, and it eventually leads to Legged and Tam being close friends as well. The two are inseparable…until Keefe kills himself, and when he dies, Tam gets a golden star from his heart.

Soon, the whole council including Fintan who tried to help but failed miserably, was dead. And the neverseen has complete control. The gang broke up, and Tam ended up making a deal with Elysian. If he can be gone forever, then the lost cities wild have this be normal and forget about all who died. Elysian agreed, and made Tam it’s apprentice.

But Tam wanted death, Elysian knew that, and yet the monster turned him into the universe, gave him powers he never thought he walks have. And after what felt like eternity, Tam captured Elysian like it was a star. But Tam knew he failed, knew that it was all his fault that he never went to accompany Sophie with the Elysian face off. So Tam has Keefe’s star as his heart, and he felt a good feeling whenever he looked back.

Tam has saved the list cities, but would be forgotten forever. It made him feel good, maybe it was destiny, maybe he was the keeper of the lost cities.

Then he met Skia.

.

[thatonekotlcgirlie]

love your broken foster

Shit.

I did it agin Keefe,

Fell for a guy who betrayed me.

Of course, the fall wasn’t accidental, Cornelio pushed me off a cliff and you weren’t there to catch me. I hung off the cliff as I waited in suspense of his home coming, predictably, he never came back to me. Sound familiar? 

Should’ve learnt from you not to do it but I was trying to losen up a bit, that’s what Biana tells me to do. She says, “ losen up a little Sophie, you only live once!” Bullshit. Then again I could die any day knowing me so maybe she’s right, that’s why I asked him out. I didn’t really care when he left me, his hair wasn’t blonde, his eyes weren’t ice blue, his parents weren’t bustards, he hadn’t got a good sense of humour. His name wasn’t Keefe. He left me the old fashioned way, he ran away with a note signed “love, whatever that fuckers name was“ a bit out dated if you ask me, but I’ve never had good taste in things. No matter what I do my life always ends up in a shit storm.

Did y’all get the cliff hanger joke🙉🙈🙊🐵🤠🤠

Oh, and before I forget, it’s the 451st day since you packed your bags and left me with a note wich overflows with lies coated in denial.

Love your overly descriptive Foster

Day 452,

“Hate is a very strong word”

In case you couldn’t tell I’m quoting Edaline Rewen there, yet here I am disobeying my mother as I tell you this. 

I hate you.

I hate you so much that I love you.

Ok maybe I don’t hate you I just hate myself for letting you leave. Every time you leave my heart feels more heavy, heavy with the need of you skin against mine. Please come back.

Love your pessimistic foster.

Day 453,

Keefe,

All I ask is one more second with you just a quick hug. I want to see our future written in the stars agin. I want to kiss in the rain and spend hours laughing our heads off. I want you to paint pictures of us and capture very second together while it lasts. But it’s too late for it, All of it. Even if you come back (god I hope you do) things will never be the same. We’ll both be broken shells of the lively kids we used to be. You didn’t deserve that Keefe, you were just a kid. You didn’t do anything wrong, you had good morals and a great personality but they destroyed it. Your parents I hate their guts and I hate everything they did to you. I would trade my whole life plus my soul just to feel that gentle breeze go through me again whilst your fingers intertwined with mine.

Love your sympathetic Foster.

Day 454,

Keefe, Are you there?

those are the four words I have been repeating for what seems like an eternity, wishing with every fibre of my body that you’re okay and that you’ll come home to me. But you won’t . I’ll have to find you, I know it. That is if you’re even alive, i’m beginning to think you’re dead. Please don’t be dead. I’ll kill you if you’re dead keefe, what if you’re just a bed of atoms in the shape of the boy I once loved ? What the hell am I supposed to do? I didn’t even say goodbye.

Love your grieving Foster.

Day 455

Dear Keefe,

Tired. Tired. Tired. 

Remember telling me that? Remember me screaming your name at the top of my lungs trying to wake you up trying to bring you back, the real you, not the mind numbingly eccedentesiast guy you turned into, not the Keefe who lost himself after years of being lead into the dark , my keefe the keefe who understands all the misleading shit I say, the keefe who heals invisible wounds and saves live with a few meaningless words wich you say so perfectly that they begin to actually make sense. Please give him back, please return him. Broken or not I want him back. I need him back I will sit there with a needle and thread and sew all the broken seems back together agin if I could just have you back.

Love your impatient foster

456

Yesterday I invited Biana over to hang out for a couple of hours. I went to use the bathroom and when I came back she was clutching my letter Journal, she was on page 2 I ran to her and snatched it off her I  don’t know why, I guess it’s because a part of me is still hoping you’ll come back and I won’t ever have to show anyone any of them because I won’t have any reasons to be sad. Or maybe it’s because if you ever did come back and I wanted to show you these it could be just between us, either way she read at least two of them and I totally freaked out. The only thing she said was, “ the cover is ice blue”. It was a statement that I didn’t know how to react to so I told her to leave and I still haven’t tried to reach out of her.

Love your unforgetting foster (yes I know that’s not a word)

Day 457

Dear Keefe,

Hey, I miss you. Respond if you’re alive.o

Love, foster.

Day 458

Dear Keefe,

oh my gosh. 

Teirgan, Fitz and I have been working together trying to find you telepathically. Whilst Dex and mr. 🍽️ are trying to do all the techy information stuff to find out where you actually are but I don’t know much about it. Anyways, I was looking for a signal by repeating your name over and over agin and somehow I found one, it was faint and subtle, but I heard it deep in the back of my mind, the voice was strained, desperate almost I focused all my attention on it. It was saying one word and one word only, “ foster?”. 

Love, your hopeful foster.

Guys, that was the last one for now but thank you all so much, I hope you liked them!!🫶🏻I might do more letters set before day 451 but y’all can tell me if you want that or not. There is a continuing fan fiction I wrote which is about Sophie finding Keefe and it’s Basically what I wanted to happen in stellarlune so sorry if it’s a little cringey but when I was waiting for book 9 I decided to write it because I was bored. Also I’m still yet to add it to Ao3 but I will soon. I’ll go into more detail about my head canons in the actual fic but thank y’all so much for reading all of this💗💗💗

[discodeviant]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

Also received this from @jad3w1ngs and tagged by @shieldofiron!! thank uuuu lovelies 💖💖

Not Duke, Not Prince -- listen I KNOW i know I bring this one up all the time but I'm proud of it ok!!!! Very much a "this was supposed to be a one-shot and got out of hand" type deal and I'm very glad it is because it's the first time in a long while I've branched away from romance and done something closer to my horror/thriller writing, and it got me thinking of even more!! Character-specific, it gave me another avenue to explore Billy's relationship with his dad and other father figures in my own way, which felt nice to get out!

Brother, My Lover -- My latest finished piece and the beginning of my journey as a Gemstones writer, so for that it holds a very special place in my heart <3 but I'm also happy with the voices and dialogue, especially since it's something I used to struggle with A LOT and mull over for weeks and hate, so knowing that I've grown enough as a writer to capture such unique voices in a way that has resonated with readers and felt natural has made my year tbh :') plus just... there is so much more to create with Kelvin and Keefe, man. + Tony's my fix rn I adore that guy so much

Soft to the Touch -- Very self-indulgent scene that, I think, very much encapsulates my favorite element of sex scenes lol, which is to say the overwhelming intimacy and love the characters have for each other. Steve loving on Billy will literally never ever ever in a million billion years get old. I need that shit more than oxygen, it makes me feel so good 😌

Friends in Low Places -- Very rare Disco Mungrove work that reminded me how much I love westerns and writing the particular sense of yearning that comes with the setting. I was in a very specific headspace while writing it, especially because of the grief it explores in a way that I hadn't really done before. Again, it (along with Stargazing for Harringrove FRI) opened the doors for me to be more ambitious with subject matter. Especially since grief/mourning isn't something I handle well irl, it helps to process that through fiction.

Irrepressible Us -- Earlier work I wrote for a Discord server event that made me stop being afraid of a/b/o lmao, especially because I'm very picky about it, so it was nice to realize how loose it really is as a genre and work to my, and my giftee's, tastes. It was nice to write Billy & Max with a strong relationship for the first time in a while too, which differs greatly from the fic I wrote prior. All around good learning experience :)

[spaceagebachelormann]

KOTLC KIDS AT THE POOL

 ੈ✩‧₊˚ FANDOM: keeper of the lost cities

 ੈ✩‧₊˚ FORMAT: headcanon

 ੈ✩‧₊˚ WARNINGS: swearing

masterlist || kotlc masterlist || navigation

*marlee sighs really loudly, aggressively sips water and sighs again*

OKAY SO

it’s so chaotic

they have a pool playlist and

well

it’s insane.

it goes from witchcraft - frank sinatra (sophie’s pick), not friendly - flo milli (raynis pick), good days - sza (bianas pick), 3005 - childish gambino (keefes pick), the phantom of the opera - phantom of the opera musical (fitz’ pick), what the world needs - ride the cyclone musical (marucas pick), let you break my heart again - laufey (linhs pick), purge the poison - marina (marellas pick), armies of the night - sparks (tams pick), thriller - micheal jackson (dexs pick), the archer - taylor swift (wylie’s pick I KNOW HE LIKES THIS SONG) she bangs (english version) - ricky martin (stinas pick), S.L.U.T. - ppcocaine (jensis pick, he plays it to make everyone laugh)

so basically it’s a chaotic mix of different music tastes

omg sophie falls into the pool

dex is talking to her and he looks away for like a split second snd he looks back and the mf is in the pool, hair clinging to her face

DEXS HAIR IS SO FLAT WHEN ITS WET AND HE LOOKS LIKE A WEASEL WITH IT LIKE THAT (slightly curly hair dex canon when)

chicken fights are 100% a thing

and tam and sophie are an unstoppable team

so are biana and dex

keefe played on wylie’s shoulders once and HE FUCKING SCREAMED because biana and dex were just going at it and he accidentally choked poor wylie with his thighs and they lost

also dex is insanely good at marco polo

stina slightly moved once and this ginger whips around and fucking tackles her and she can’t look him in the eye for weeks

also i just think maruca, marella and dex with muscles

they all have them showing off and everyone else is like “😨😨”

sophie and fitz bring extra towels and snacks for everyone because they’re slightly responsible

keefe can’t swim so he just clings to dex the whole time

dex is very smug about this

they have inside jokes which are being brought up the whole time

rayni and wylie have a secret friendship and one day tam and sophie are chicken fighting with dex and biana

and the four of them are screaming curse words and getting political over it and wylie turns to rayni and says

and says some goofy ass inside joke and she starts snorting and wheeze laughing and everyone turns to them like “????”

marella also can’t swim so she sun bathes the whole time

tam dumps water on her

stina and tams love language is pushing their friends into the pool and dumping water over their heads

the only time they got along actually

stina will never admit it but she really loves the groups company

JENSI IS TALENTLESS. BECAUSE I SAID SO.

and because of jensi being talentless stina always teams up with him for chicken fights so he doesn’t feel left out but he’s also weirdly good at it so she won’t admit it because she feels bad for him and says it’s because he’s good at it

linh absolutely loves to form bubbles around her friends then drop it on them

tam is influencing

the group somehow knows all of nat king coles songs and they scream the lyrics

this group is so chaotic btw

chaotic enough that they scare away all the other people at the public pool, making it their own

fitz lays on a floatie the whole time with a drink and ignores everyone

he doesn’t have time for that shit

until dex, biana and keefe flip over his floatie and he throws it at them then runs after them trying to get it back

they also 100% have water fights and biana is a god with a water gun and i’m gonna leave it there

[dramatic-jellybean]

Kam Fluffy Quick Write

(Human AU cause I'm too brain dead at 11PM to do cannon at the moment and I want tooooooo. Because FLUFF.)

@ultralazycreatorfan 

Tam walked out of their bedroom at 10AM and came up behind Keefe, wrapped his arms around his waist and rested his head on his shoulder.

"Morning..." he yawned, closing his eyes.

"Morning love." Keefe said, smiling, a warm feeling in his chest from the weight of his boyfriend. He loved to see Tam all sleepy and tired. He had no filter and his rigid persona softened. Keefe was secretly relishing in the fact that he was the only person who got to see this side of him every single day.

"How are you so awake?" Tam asked, nuzzling into Keefe's shoulder. His face was close enough that his breath sent a shiver down Keefe's spine.

"Coffee." Keefe said, reaching over to the coffee machine and pouring Tam a mug.

Tam smiled and gave Keefe a kiss on the cheek before letting go of him to fix the coffee.

Keefe finished making pancakes and sat down at the barstool next to the counter, Tam slid into the one next to him and picked up the pancake, eating it dry as Keefe drowned him in maple syrup.

"The only reason you're allowed to do that is because it's sugar free because if it wasn't you'd be bouncing off the walls." Tam said, mouth full of pancake.

"And you're insane for eating them dry." Keefe said.

Tam shrugged and they ate in silence, Keefe finished first, setting his plate in the sink and rinsing it, knowing what a bitch maple syrup was to get off after a while, and went back over to where Tam was sitting, and gave him a kiss. Tam accepts it but leans back after a moment and makes a face.

"Bleh, you have morning breath mixed with maple syrup. Go brush your teeth dipshit." Tam said as he finished his food.

Keefe laughed, pressing a kiss to Tam’s forehead before grabbing his wrist and dragging him to the bathroom. Tam made a sound of protest but let himself be led along. They got to the bathroom and brushed their teeth, elbowing each other and almost choking on toothpaste.

Keefe spit out his tooth paste followed by Tam and grinned wickedly before wrapping his arms around Tam's waist.

"Can I kiss you now?"

Tam shook his head affectionately with a smile, placing his hands on Keefe's chest. "Yeah sure."

Keefe leaned in and pressed their mouths together. Tam tasted like mint, obviously, and Keefe felt him smile as they kissed.

Tam's arms snaked their way up to wrap around Keefe's neck and they both pulled away so their noses and foreheads were touching. They smiled at each other and Keefe pressed another gentle kiss on Tam’s lips. 

"I love you." Tam said softly.

"I love you too." Keefe agreed.

(Lol this probably isn’t the best because it’s my first piece I’ve posted.😅) 

[hi-imgrapes]

//Song Family Reunion! Well, At Least Some Of The Family- A Kam Oneshot//

hey guys! happy holidays, heres a kam oneshot below the cut! enjoy!

contents: major kam fluff and angst on the side, tam’s childhood trauma, keefe’s childhood trauma, mai’s domestic abu$e, slight fedex, ro slaying the day, #fistbump

WARNING: MENTIONS OF DOMESTIC ABU$E, STAY SAFE!

________________________________________________________________

"Take that, you hooligan!"

The bright yellow beach ball knocks me on the head. It doesn't hurt much, but I am in a relatively good mood today- or as good as I can possibly be. I crumple to the ground onto the soft black sand of the Shores of Solace, letting out a sigh of defeat. A boy with bubblegum pink hair snickers from behind me.

I throw the beach ball at Fitz's head. He doesn't bother pretending to be hurt; he just laughs at me and Keefe.

"Ow," he giggles, throwing the beach ball back into Keefe's hands and plopping down on the soft ash-colored sand. He frowns, glancing at the pretentious mansion behind him. "How long do we have to do this?"

"Until Dad of the Year gets officially pissed." Keefe ruffles his sunny blonde hair and copies Fitz's frown. "Weird. He seems to be having more patience than usual today."

"I think you're making progress," I offer, pointing at the highest window where Lord Cassius, my boyfriend's father, rests his pathetic little feet. "See those curtains? He just closed them, but he can't block out the sound. It's only a matter of time before he caves."

"You would be making a point if you didn't say that half an hour ago. Besides, it's- what three hours till dinnertime? I have to get ready for a date," Fitz complains.

"Who takes three hours to get ready?" I mutter to myself, but loud enough for Keefe to hear.

"Fitz, apparently," Keefe snickers. Fitz flushes a dark crimson.

"For the record, your hair looks fine," Ro says from a bright green beach towel several feet away from us. "But if you want me to style it better-"

"I'm good, thanks," Fitz says before Ro could suggest some of her ideas. "But something tells me I'd look better without maggots burrowing into my scalp."

"Not maggots!" she corrects indignantly. "Just bacteria!"

"Very big bacteria," Keefe jokes. Fitz sighs in exasperation.

"Where do you have your date with Dex anyway?" I ask.

"Rimeshire," Fitz boasts before his mind could process my words well enough to correct himself. His face reddens the more Keefe rolls on the sand in laughing tears.

"Alright, you can go put your non-maggots in your hair if you'd like, Fitzy," Keefe teases. "No one's forcing you to be here."

"Considering Dex's questionable taste," Ro says, wrinkling her nose at Fitz, "maybe he would like maggots."

"Oooh, how well do maggots get along with tomples?"

"Alright, screw you guys," Fitz scoffs, holding up his leaping crystal to the sky. "Good luck on being a disappointment." And with those happy words, he glitters away into the afternoon sun.

"Alright, should we keep playing?" I am surprised to see Keefe looking at where Fitz used to stand with a wistful expression. Adopting an expression of concern, I sit up and walk over to him, resting a hand on his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" I ask him.

"It's just..." Keefe blinks, and I am startled to see tears running down his cheeks. "My whole life I've dreamed of having a nice family I could settle into. Like how Fitz settled in with Dex after his parents kicked him out. But I..." His ice-blue eyes meet mine, and I know what he is thinking.

"I know. My parents..." I pause, falling short of my arsenal of good words to phrase the truth. "Aren't ideal. I'm sorry." I turn away, feeling a sense of shame burying into my chest.

Keefe's eyes widen out of the corner of my eye just as Ro picks up her towel and moves further down the beach. He cups my face, pulling it towards him. "Hey, that's not what I meant. I'm so lucky to have you, and I couldn't ask for anything more. I just-"

"I could try."

Keefe's eyes widen again, and the look on his face is enough to stop my heart for a solid two seconds. The look of hope, of all the dreams he had stockpiled in his head from the moment he realized he never was going to find what he wanted, what he needed, in his own family of blood. "What?"

"I've been meaning to tell you this for a while, my parents have been trying to get in touch with me lately. Saying they've changed. I don't believe them, but if it means so much to you..."

Keefe smiles sadly. "Bangs Boy, you don't have to do that."

I know I don't have to. But the look of hope Keefe gave me planted a seed of determination inside my head. I am going to try, and nobody can change my mind.

***

"Bangs, I told you that you didn't have to do this."

Keefe pesters me with complaints as we walk hand in hand up to my parents' house, but he didn't refuse to follow me.

"I told you before, I want to. And hey, if things go wrong, the door will be right next to us, okay?" I turn around to look Keefe in the eyes. He smiles gratefully and pulls me into a warm hug.

"Thank you," he whispers with a fierce kind of passion. "I love you."

I allow myself to melt into his embrace. "Love you too, Keefe." Too soon I pull away, kissing his cheek and squeezing his hand. "Ready?"

"Ready." We reach the door and Keefe looks at me with concern. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

I elbow him in the side. "We're literally at the door. What do you think?"

Keefe shrugs. "Just making sure. Alright, you reunite with your family and tell me to come in when you're ready for me."

"Alright, see you soon." I kiss his cheek once more and knock on the door, waving fondly to him as he scampers to the safety of a potted plant.

The faint sound of footsteps down stairs, familiar voices. I told them I would be coming sometime today. I didn't mention Keefe. That wasn't my cleverest move. (Or maybe it was. The only thing I could do now was find out and see.)

I look around. The porch is covered with potted plants and overgrown vines blossoming Mom's favorite flowers that I remembered her sprinkling on teacakes because she thought they looked pretty that way. The porch has a strange mix of familiar and foreign qualities smashed together like the edges of two worlds colliding into one. Something about the porch makes my eyes well with tears, which I wipe away almost as quickly as they come.

My heart stops as I hear the unlocking of the door.

A familiar woman steps out of the house with soft, delicate features and smooth black hair. Her silvery blue eyes widen.

A pair of smooth arms engulf me into a hug, crushing me despite their small size. Teardrops drip down my neck and my tunic, the sound of quiet sobbing in my ear.

"Tammy, I've missed you." That was the nickname Mom called me before I left with Linh.

"I've missed you too, Mom," I whisper hoarsely in her ear, feeling tears fill my eyes again only to wipe them away with my finger.

When my mother finally pulls away, she holds my shoulder steady and looks into my eyes with the concern to make me crumple to the ground, after so many years of only getting that kind of look from Linh. "How have you been?"

That's a hard question to answer, I admit. I think of the Neverseen fights, the pain, the injuries, the feelings of loneliness and loss.

I think of the friends I made, the smiles I let spread across my face for once, the love I spent on so much more people than I could ever have imagined.

A ghost of a smile breezes past my lips. "I think I've been okay."

Mom smiles back at me, gesturing to the opened door behind her. "Would you like to come inside?"

I fight back a grimace. I know the veiled meaning behind those carefully crafted words. Mom wants to know if I want to see Dad. The truth? I don't. Not really.

I think of the disdainful looks my Dad gave me back when I was little, when I didn't have any reason not to love myself for who I was. I think of the way he treated my mom like garbage, bossing her around like she owed him something when the only thing she ever owed him was a kick to the testicles. I think of the way he treated Linh like a mini version of Mom, like gardening flowers and baking cakes was the only future the universe had in store for her. Mom treated Linh badly, but Dad was on a whole different level.

But then I think of the expression of happiness on Keefe's face when I told him I would be getting him what he wanted. No, what he deserved.

Oh, Keefe would be mad if he knew I did something I didn't want to do because of him. I bite my lip and push down the false words of consent I was ready to give. "No," I say.

I thought that Mom would be at least a little surprised. Perhaps even angry that I would get so far only to reject the company of my father. But she only hangs her head and looks at me with a face of understanding and tears. A snot bubble pokes out from her left nostril.

She throws her arms around me again, sobbing uncontrollably into my ear. I hug her back this time, wrapping my arms around her like a blanket. I feel a sharp pang realization in my chest, like a knife to the chest.Mom despises it here.

Eventually, she pulls away again, still crying her heart out. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be letting you comfort me on a day like this-"

"No," I say firmly. "No." I rest my hands on her shoulder and see her tear tracks. My gaze travels slightly downwards and my fists curl in anger.

An ugly blotch of violet is on her right cheek, barely concealed by a heavy layer of makeup. But it's there.

"Mom, has Dad been-"

Mom breaks down in tears again, digging her fingernails into my back. My mouth curls into a snarl and I patiently wait for her crying to cease.

"Tammy, what are you-"

I march into the house, up the carpeted stairs, and down the hall. My head pounds like the beat of a thousand drums and my blood boils so much I think my skull is going to explode.

Sure enough, Dad is there. In his office, with a book cradled in his hands. I walk up to himself, heaving furious breaths, and wait until he decides to stop ignoring his son and look up.

And then I punch him, square in the jaw. A groan crumples out of her mouth, dark red pouring out from his nose. I march back down the stairs, the pounding in my head starting to slow.

"Oh, Tammy," Mom cries out when I come back. Tears are still drenching her face, but slower this time. I think she has subconsciously realized that she has nothing left to spare for her husband- tears or anything else.

Mom suddenly stops crying, and I look at her in confusion. My eyebrows shoot up as I look at her face, blotchy and red. Her tears have washed off some of her makeup, revealing more of her bruise. I can't help but narrow my eyes at the marks my dad, no- Quan Song- made on her. But that's not the thing that catches my eye. On her face is a look I've never seen before. A look of pure fury.

She picks up a small potted flower on a table by the door. It's a pretty magenta one, generously watered and cared for.

Mom smashes the pretty flower on the porch, shattering the porcelain vase holding it. My jaw drops in sheer awe as one thought takes over inside my head.

Mai Song is not going to be Quan Song's perfect, pretty wife any longer.

I scowl at the image in my mind of Quan. Why did I even come here, if I knew how much of an ass he was?

I look back at the potted plant on the side of the house. A trace of messy blond hair waits patiently as it peeks out from behind pink flowers. I suppress a chuckle. Whether he is trying to make me laugh on purpose or simply terrible at hiding is beyond my knowledge. "Oh, um, Mom?"

Mom is staring at the shattered porcelain but eventually looks up to meet my gaze. I am shocked to see a toothy grin painted on her cheeks.

It's good to her see smile, after so long.

"I have someone I'd like you to meet."

I whistle, and a rascal of a blonde boy scurried out of the porch, ice-blue eyes flashing with excitement. He holds out a shaky, sweaty hand to my mother.

"Mom, this is Keefe Sencen. My boyfriend."

Mom's eyes widen, and for a second my heart is paralyzed with fear until Mom gives Keefe the most heartwarming smile in the world and gives him a fistbump.

Keefe's eyes widen too, maybe because of the out-of-character gesture or because of her grin. He recovers, barely, then returns the fistbump.

"Nice to meet you, Tam's boyfriend," Mom says warmly. "I'm going to take all the pies I baked for Quan and give them away. Would you like to share one with my son?"

Keefe's eyes fill with tears and just like my mom, he breaks down into tears, leaning on her shoulders (that Mom seems to hold a little higher than usual) for support.

Once Keefe stops crying, he looks at my mom with glassy eyes filled with joy. "I would love some pie."

Mom grins. "Great. I'm going to pack my bags and then we'll get out of here. Okay?"

Keefe barely manages a nod before breaking down into tears again, this time on my shoulder. After such an eventful day, it feels embarrassingly nice to feel his warmth on my skin. I suppress a blush and bury my head in my boyfriend's sunny blonde hair.

"Is this what it feels like?" Keefe whispers. "To be welcome?"

"I think so," I whisper back, clutching her back in my arms as the next round of tears comes.

Man, I'm really going to need to clean my shirt after this, I think to myself. I smile.

[kindling-of-sorts]

looking for the shapes in the silence

a/n: if you squint hard enough this is the prequel to my kam superpower au that i haven't posted yet,,,, enjoy!

[ao3]

pairing: keefitz

TWs: none

summary:

“I swear that I loved you,” Fitz blurts, words nearly incomprehensible but determined nonetheless. For a moment, Keefe wonders if he’ll crumble. He hesitates a moment longer, and finds himself intact. “I know,” Keefe says, because he does.

Or: Keefe and Fitz are exes and Eternalia's greenhorn superheroes. They go out stargazing with their friends, and talk about their past.

word count: 1.5k

Their eyes meet, and the world does not end. 

Keefe and Fitz pause as the rest of the group stumble out of the van excitedly. The night sky is brilliant and sharp, and half a year ago, it would have reminded them of the other.

They smile at each other, and not at the reflection of themselves in the other’s eyes. If they rip their gaze away quickly enough, the mirror inside is easier to ignore.

Keefe looks away first. It doesn’t feel like victory or defeat, but quiet understanding. Silence is kinder to him, these days.

Biana calls for Fitz’s help on setting up the blankets, and the magic evanesces, if there was any at all. He’s getting better at letting go.

“I’m never trusting any of you ever again,” Stina announces loudly. “Stargazing, they said. It’ll be fun, they said. We literally drove twenty minutes to my backyard.”

“We asked you and you said yes,” Biana calls out, laying down on her back.

“I was playing Candy Crush!”

“No, you were supposed to be doing paperwork.”

“Shut up!”

Sophie sighs wordlessly, head in hands as she pulls Stina and Biana apart. Keefe thinks she might be tired of babysitting in case they start bickering. She’s running on three hours of sleep, which she excitedly told Keefe this morning, much to his chagrin.

“You guys are kind of killing the stargazing vibe right now,” Keefe says, thinly veiling a grin. The city sky is brilliant, but also just as bare as it has been for its very polluted history.

Once everyone settles down, Keefe sees Fitz has been kicked out from Biana’s. Fitz doesn’t fight back, even with Sophie’s equal, if not slightly less, exasperation across his face, though it’s hardly malicious.

Keefe doesn’t hide his smile this time. He’s never stopped being jealous of the Vackers, even after the tense glances and tenser arguments. As one of the rare insiders—if barely—Keefe saw their picture-perfect frame whole, then shattered, and then he realized the fractures were always there.

Still, the jealousy never dissipated. He’s a lot less ashamed of admitting that, now.

Fitz and Biana are a lot happier than they were half a year ago.

He’s proud of them, really. As heroes, as friends, as the closest thing to family he’s ever known.

He’s proud of Fitz. He loves him still.

They never stood together. That’s okay. One day, they will.

Keefe waves Fitz over when he catches him staring. Fitz’s eyes widen, a little, and tilts his head. Keefe recognizes the habit perhaps a moment too quickly.

Yet he doesn’t look away. He shouts, “If you stay there you’re gonna get your ass wet again!”

Fitz huffs, like the huff he always makes when something mildly amuses him. He rolls his eyes, even. Keefe counts it as a win.

Just as Keefe is about to speak again, Fitz stands up and stumbles his way over to Keefe’s blanket. 

“My jeans are already wet,” Fitz almost complains, but his tone is light enough that it sounds like an observation. It’s actually a bit more disconcerting that way. “Biana is ruthless.”

Keefe snorts. “We all know.”

When their laughter fades, they let their friends’ quickly moving attention span entertain them. Their current debate topic is the validity of the artificial cherry flavor. 

“The city’s most promising up-and-coming heroes,” Keefe muses, “arguing over whether cherry flavored Twizzlers actually taste like cherry or not.”

“You would be there waxing poetic about your burning passion for Twizzlers right now if I wasn’t here,” Fitz mutters, head tilted back to observe the spanning, empty night.

“You’re wrong, I hate Twizzlers.” Keefe flashes his teeth unabashedly. “You haven’t left me yet.”

Fitz’s gaze softens, and Keefe might just melt with it. He did, not too long ago, a lifetime before tonight.

“Yeah.” Fitz gulps. “I haven’t.”

The following silence is awkward, but not cruel. It follows, yes, but it doesn’t chase.

They never stopped talking. It’s hard to, when they’re both in every other mission together. Their friends are the same, though that’s kind of inevitable, considering their group is the only heroes around their age.

“Do you remember when we went stargazing in the countryside when we were eight?” Keefe asks. 

Fitz’s expression brightens in recognition. “Of course I do.”

“You were so excited, you fell asleep by the time we could actually see the stars, and I had to wake you up.” Keefe nudges Fitz with his arm. The touch doesn’t spark anymore.

“I lived in Eternalia my entire life and couldn’t leave! Of course I was excited,” Fitz says.

Keefe tilts his head. “You weren’t wrong. It was one of the only interesting things in that town.”

“It’s your hometown.”

“Exactly,” Keefe drawls. “Not my home anymore.”

Fitz offers an indecipherable hum. “It was beautiful. I remember it being beautiful.”

“You went home crying. I think that was, like, a life-altering moment for eight-year-old you.”

Fitz drags his hand across his face, but the sheepish smile is impossible to miss.

“Why do you think I came here today in the first place?”

“Uh, Biana manhandled you across the city?”

“Stina’s house is not across the city.”

“Did I lie?”

Fitz doesn’t dignify that with a response, and shakes his head. That smile hasn’t left. “No, I—I wanted to think, I guess. Just sit down and think.”

“Me too. I guess.” Keefe is at a loss for witty responses. Fitz has a way of making people lose their words.

The reminiscing pauses, and the quiet feels tenser. Keefe fidgets, drawing the blanket closer to himself. He opens his mouth to say something, anything—

“I swear that I loved you,” Fitz blurts, words nearly incomprehensible but determined nonetheless.

For a moment, Keefe wonders if he’ll crumble. He hesitates a moment longer, and finds himself intact.

“I know,” Keefe says, because he does.

“I still think about you.”

At that, Keefe laughs. It sounds more genuine than any he’s shared today. “I know.”

Since they gave up.

Fitz’s eyelashes flutter against his cheek as he studies a particular star, or so Keefe guesses. Keefe is following Fitz’s eyes again. Old habits die hard—but slow.

“I still miss you.” Fitz looks like he musters all of his courage as he fixes his eyes on Keefe’s. There’s resolve in the stare. Strength. Not walls between them.

Keefe opens his mouth, and finds it dry. Still, he speaks. It is the only thing he knows.

“I know.”

“And I know I’ve said it a hundred times, but I’m—I’m sorry.”

The desperate boy in front of Keefe is not Fitzroy Vacker, but something more intimate. Perhaps more than the one he kissed.

He still remembers how Fitz’s lips felt on his own. Everyone marvels over their softness, but Keefe remembers them chapped and trembling.

Keefe has ruined so many secrets. He won’t let this one become one of them.

“You’re an idiot,” Keefe declares, “and I love you.” Now. Present tense. Because it’s true.

Fitz looks at him again. Shit, those eyes. Keefe can’t forget those eyes, burning, hurting, exciting. He doesn’t want to.

“And we’ll be okay.” Keefe grabs Fitz by his shoulders, limbs twisting oddly in the uncomfortable position. “Promise.”

A minute passes, then another, and Keefe has half a mind to start shaking Fitz. He worries he said something wrong. Fuck, did he cross the line? He shouldn’t have—

“I can’t really give you my pinky like this,” Fitz mumbles, and there’s that huff again.

Keefe smiles. “I don’t care. Promise.”

“I promise.” Fitz doesn’t hesitate.

“You’re going to be so good, and I’ll be right there cheering you on,” Keefe says firmly, because it’s easier than, I won’t stare at your back all day anymore, or, I’m sorry I can’t let you go, or, I hope I can love you in a way that matters.

“We’re going to be so good,” Fitz counters, “most promising heroes, and all that.”

“I think I might have heard you say more run-on sentences today than in the past sixteen years.”

Fitz sputters. “You have a way of making people ruin perfectly good grammar.”

“I think you’re just easy to make fun of.”

Fitz laughs, not huffs, vivid and lilting. Keefe breathes, and decides Fitz is the brightest star he could ever gaze at tonight.

“Linh Song, you are a filthy traitor.” Dex seethes, who Keefe finds to be drawing twenty-four. “I cannot believe I ever trusted your innocent act.”

Linh shrugs with a polite smile. Dex continues wallowing as everyone groans and finished their round of Uno. The champion is Linh. Again. For the fourth time in a row.

“Oh, I am going to obliterate everyone,” Keefe says.

“I’m sure you will.”

“You are literally the worst at every board game ever.”

Fitz’s eyes gleam. For all the prim and proper facades he’s managed to plaster, his competitiveness has been left untamed.

“Thank you,” Fitz says, gentle, and the words unsaid are not hidden.

“Me too,” Keefe whispers, and corrects himself: the magic never left.

[darkchocolatedimples]

could you do fearless (Taylor’s version) for kotlc characters 🫣

I absolutely am loving these since Kotlc and Taylor swift are like my two obsessions lol

ofc!! i'm so glad ur enjoying they're so much fun to sort

fearless!!

fearless - biana

fifteen - sophie

she. is just. a girl.

love story - keefe

hands down his favorite taylor swift song. this is keefe's song.

hey stephen - dex

maybe it's him to sophie but it's actually ME to him.

white horse - dex

HE BETTER GET HIS SOMEONE SOMEDAY WHO ACTUALLY TREATS HIM WELL

you belong with me - keefe

every unspoken thought

breathe - fitz

remember he didn't just lose sophie as a future romantic partner, at least for a little bit, he's lost her as a friend 😔

tell me why - linh

here's to you (song parents) and your temper!!!

you're not sorry - tam

dear song parents once more!

that's the way i loved you - sophie

bc fitz is sensible and keefe is SCREAMING AND FIGHTING AND KISSING IN THE RAIN AND ITS TWO AM AND IM CURSING YOUR NAME SO IN LOVE THAT I ACTED INSANE AND THATS THE WAY I LOVED YOU

forever & always - fitz

the way i'm constantly mourning keefitz

the best day - biana

three older brothers and keefe.

change - dex

jump then fall - biana

ITS SO DEX AND BIANA I COULD SCREAM

untouchable - keefe

this one gets me good "but your untouchable burning brighter than the sun...come on come on, say that well be together, come on come on, little taste of heaven"

come in with the rain - sophie

very stellarlune

superstar - sophie

"im no one special im just another wide eyed girl whose despertely in love with you" NO. YOU ARE SOPHIE FOSTER AND HALF THE MEN IN THE STORY HAVE FALLEN AT YOUR FEET. OWN IT.

the other side of the door - fitz

cause im so mad, i might tell you that it's over, but if you look a little closer I SAID LEAVE BUT ALL I REALLY WANT IS YOU

today was a fairytale - sophie

but not the whole day! bc she doesn't ever get that.

you all over me - tam

"so i lied, and i cried, and i watched a part of myself die, cause no amount of freedom gets you clean" screw the song parents part 29939

mr. perfectly fine - keefe

it was supposed to be sophie...but cassius SUCKS

we were happy - linh

that's when - sophie

pov shannon decided to let sophitz be

don't you - dex

atp i want to start campaigning for a dex centric spin off or companion book

bye bye baby - tam