#you sent this to me 5 days ago and it's as relevant now as it was then

[maslows-pyramid-scheme]

“People who are actually attracted to men, even the bisexual ones, don't feel this way.”

She says people are misinterpreting her post but this is a straightforward (wrong) sentence and bi women came in to correct on it. That’s a misinterpretation how…? Additionally, how would she as a non-bisexual even know that. The boldness in impressive.

Anyway, this just in fellow bi women: if you find women in general more attractive than men, you are putting women up on a pedestal! You are just talking about aesthetics, which obviously have nothing to do with physical attraction. But also you may just actually be a lesbian, in which case feel free to ignore these criticisms because now they don’t apply for some reason.

But I’ll be told I’m also misinterpreting, I’m sure. Bleh.

How would a non-bisexual know how a bisexual feels about his/her attraction...?

Lesbians often point out that bisexuals will never understand what it's like to be exclusively same-sex attracted in a homophobic world, and I very much agree, but I also think that non-bisexuals will never understand what it's like to be bisexual in that homophobic/monosexual world.

[noahsbookhoard]

📚August 2024 Book Review (Part 2/4)📚

This batch is all over the place theme-wise but I faced some of my most terrible ennemies: romantasy, contemporary literature, saw-the-film-before-reading-the-book-and-now-I'm-biaised and the all or nothing Time Travel. This was eventful.

Sea of Tranquility by Emily St John Mandel

From the early 20th century in Vancouver to the 24th century on a moon colony, the same phenomenon occurs: a sudden earth shattering hallucination of violins played in an airport terminal echoing in the middle of a forest. What is it? Where does it come from? The detective Gaspery-Jacques Roberts is sent to investigate.

Did I already say that I love time travel stories? Because I love time travel stories. But I'm picky as hell, if it doesn't make sense you will lose me immediately and never get me back.

That said, this book had me hooded from the beginning (passed the wonder as to why this sci-fi novel starts in 1912) and never let go.

The pacing is relatively slow but it works out well with the eery atmosphere and the feeling of déjà vu I couldn't scraper off. And there IS an element of déjà vu, something that comes back through different times with different characters so great job bringing this so deeply in the reading experience!

It also deals with the question of pandemic too but I liked how reminiscent of Covid it was without being specifically about covid. It didn't felt forced "hot typical you need to include to be relevant". It felt lived through (which it was) but always at the level of the character rather than an bigger perspective.

The story does a great work of binding together the different timelines in one chronological order and wraps nicely at the end, it was so satisfying! If is one of my favorite SciFi read of this year.

It's Kind of a Funy Story by Ned Vizzini

Craig Gilner must succeed in life, it is the only way to be happy. He needs to get to the best high-school to get into the best college to get the best job or he will be a total failure. But once he gets into an elite high school program the pression gets to high, Craig nearly tries to kill himself. He is admitted in a mental hospital and there he will meet a cast of diverse people who aren't so different from him deep down and face his anxiety.

TW for suicide ideation and a near suicide attempt

This was a wierd reading experience for me, I picked this book because I liked the Be More Chill Musical, which I admit is a wierd reason to pick a book but here we are! I did not read anything other than the back cover before diving in. I was aware that it dealt with mental health and suicide but that was about it.

The first part was a punch in the guts, just like Craig I went through an elite program (mine was after HS) and it did not go so well. I saw a kinda uncomfortable amount of myself in Craig: the overachieving mindset, the "you can do it, so you have to" mentality, the fear of not being enough, the feeling that however loving and caring my parents could be they just couldn't understand what was going on. The loneliness even when there's a crowd around... it did not go as bad for me as it did for Craig but it was painful to remember it could have. Some quotes hits right were I was 5 years ago and I wasn't prepared for it.

Thankfully Craig gets help before it goes too far and so he ends up in the mental hospital for a few days. The characters he meets there are touching, sometimes funny. One downside note for me is the transgender character (I can't remember for sure but I think it was a trans women) referred to with the wrong pronouns - which I don't think was malicious, might be early 2000's prejudice, might be the author not knowing better but as a trans person myself, but it rubbed me the wrong way.

It was also heartbreaking to read a bit more about the author and realise that there is probably a (not so) little bit of himself in this: he also spent some time is a mental hospital, and he killed himself in more or less the way Craig almost did. That made me really emotional and I wasn't bracing for that at all.

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (The Chronicles of Narnia #1) by C S Lewis

Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy are sent to the country to escape the Blitz, but there's not much too do in an old house with a severe housekeeper for the four siblings. Then one day while playing, Lucy discovers a wardrobe which opens on a fantastic land trapped in perpetual winter. The inhabitants see in the children a new hope: they will help Aslan the lion to defeat the terrible White Witch who took over Narnia.

The Chronicles of Narnia are such a classic young reader novel that I'm surprised I never read them before! Turns out now I might be a little to grown up for it but nonetheless it was nice.

The Christian parallels are more obvious than in the film but the style is nice and it adds details that make the characters' actions, especially Edmund's sounds a little more logical.

Some elements are also really nice and funny with the knowledge of Lewis' friendship with Tolkien. I wouldn't have had it as a kid so for that it's good to read them as an adult.

I will probably read it all at some point but peppered through the TBR, they are nice when you have a sick day that you need to occupy or just want to chill for an afternoon. Easy, nostalgia inducing, that's perfect.

Magie et Sentiments (Les secrets de Longdawn) by Ariel Holzl

After years of war and centuries of uncertain peace, the Earth and the Moon are set to create a new alliance. This would be symbolically marked by the marriage of Nathaniel, the son of a Moon noble family and Rebecca, the daughter of an Earth Duke. Conveniently for the England Crown, Luke, Rebecca's brother, is a spy and will accompagny the affianced couple and secretly make sure of the Moon embassadors good intentions. This is without counting on Sheva, Nathaniel's beautiful but cold sister.

The title is not really subtle, "Magic and Feelings, the secrets of [pun on a city name]" is pretty much what it says on the tin: a romantasy set in a fictional England. I was very invested in the fantasy but the romance I gotta admit, was fun. This is not my favorite read of 2024 but I was not huffing loudly every few pages so that's a win for romance novels in my book! The couples are kinda cute, the pacing isn't too slow and there is enough action to keep me entertained through the romance bits.

There is also a really cool setting in the Moon Empire, with it's own culture, laws and ritual which was nice to discover. The magic system both of Earth and on the Moon are also interesting, even though the elemental one isn't super original it works well in the setting.

The earth is an uchronia, which I love, it is always fun, set in a fantastical England whose city name have been changed (see Long Dawn -> London). Sometimes it was done in a rather elegant way, but at several times the book spells out the pun in a very artificial manner ("look ah ah, the working class have SUCH a funny accent, they say Loooon-doooon, did you see what I did there??" *author winking with both eyes through the pages*) and that threw me out of the story.

This is a late Middle Grade/early Young Adult book: I think a highschooler might be bored and it's a bit hefty for an elementary schooler but middle school kid would like it qi think. No shade to the author, I was just too old for this book but maybe that's why I could appreciate it: at the very least no explicit sex scene.

[sugdenlovesdingle]

Hi! Just on "Danny doesn't like kissing guys anon" - I remember the interviews they are talking about and tbh in one of those he said it in a way that bothered me too! But then I realised that interview was at a time when Emmerdale didn't know what to do with Robron. I still remember during Liv's alcohol+Ketamine, they were making up after an argument and you could literally put a truck in between them!!

But we need to remember that this same Danny has said, not once but MANY times Robr-ON, Rob-OFF, I would like it to be on because I like kissing Ryan! In fact, some people started harassing him in real life for being gay when Robron was at its peak.

And it IS A FACT that Robron didn't do PDA until much later because they began as an affair and Robert in the closet. In fact, every time Charity or someone brought up sex between them two you will notice Robert making a face. Every single time. I always thought it was a brilliant acting choice by Ryan.

And they have been best friends even when they weren't boyfriends. In fact that was what 2017 Christmas was about! WHICH IS WHY canon Aaron now not rushing to IoW MAKES ZERO sense to me. I am willing to die on the hill that our Robron Aaron would have gone to IOW, fought with Robert, got him out, brought him back to the Mill but also punished him for sending those divorce papers.

Personally I don't want Danny to work on his chemistry with anyone because I am hoping against hope for a miracle.😂 Both Danny and Ryan are good actors. But there is a limit to which even a soap superstar can make a ridiculous situation believable at such short notice. On a separate note, Ryan still looks like Robert on Casualty, at least to most of us. It's like two complementary magnets🧲⚡that are being forced apart. Anything else will always look tame compared to them.

Current canon Aaron not rushing to the Isle of Wight is because Ryan won't come back as Robert. Aaron accepting Robert cutting him out of his life when he got sent down was because Ryan left.

They couldn't have Aaron mope around and wait for Robert or even fight for Robert - because there was no Robert because Ryan left.

And the robr-on rob-off and "i like kissing Ryan" was Danny being cheeky with the press (he knows how to play the game). I honestly don't think Danny gives a shit about kissing anyone on screen. I remember him kissing one of the hosts on loose women once just to prove screen kisses mean nothing/ are no big deal. I do think he was more comfortable with Ryan than he is with Oliver now (or was with Stephen as doctor boring or Simon as kayak bore) just because they worked together so closely for about 5 years and were good friends off screen too.

The best friends thing never bothered me tbh. Like I said, if your partner isn't also your best friend - someone you honestly like spending time with outside the bedroom... why are you together? Robron were (ARE) each other's great love AND best friend.

And emmerdale aren't great with PDA anyway. Matty and Amy's first kiss as husband and wife was maybe their third on screen kiss? Cain and Moira rarely kiss or touch because they're always fighting these days, Dawn and Billy - i don't remember the last time they kissed or even hugged (maybe when Evan was born?), Mack and Charity... had one incredibly forced (post) sex scene a few months ago and nothing since, Paddy and Mandy are getting MARRIED next week and they haven't kissed in months either (I think - i don't pay much attention to their scenes). If it's not relevant to the plot (like getting together, going public/taking a next big step in the relationship, marriage, affair) these characters don't touch/kiss. I think either Danny or someone else once mentioned that most of those things aren't scripted and it's basically up to the actors to decide "oh i think my character would kiss their partner here"

I'm not saying robron or emmerdale were/are perfect... god knows they weren't (and emmerdale itself definitely isn't these days) but come on, it's 2024, aren't we over the 'best friends' and "they don't touch" discourse by now? Or does anyone want to throw in the "bro hugs" too?

As for Ryan looking like Robert on casualty... he does but if Robert met Jamie, he'd get his shovel out again. We know what he does with rapists!

(I wanted to put a gif of Rob whacking lee over the head with the shovel but the gif search fails me once again - so just pretend it's here)

[exvangelicalrage]

christian Music Sucks

5/10/23

I have this very specific, strange set of songs in my head. It's kinda like mental shrapnel that never got excised, despite having long ago left christianity.

I was listening to music with my in-laws the other day, and the song "American Pie" came on the playlist. But the thing is, when I was a kid, I learned a christian parody version of it. So while a normal person's brain is going, "A long long time ago, I can still remember / How that music used to make me smile..." my brain instead offers, "A long, long time ago, a lowly couple made a journey / to a place called... bethlehem." 

Yes. They made it into a christmas song. 

The chorus goes, "And my, my can you feel it inside / there's no other like a brother who would lay down his life / he was sent by the father just to be crucified / so that you and I can never die / you and I can never dieeee..." 

"Mambo #5" became "The Farmer Song" (Jump up outta bed at 4:02 / because a hard workin' farmer's got a lot to do / no time for a meal cuz the clock is tickin' / when you gotta milk the cows and you gotta feed the chickens—and yes it had a christian theme about faith and how god provides); "Stayin' Alive" became "Stayin' Awake," which was about being tired and trusting god to take care of your needs; "We Are the Champions" became "We Serve The Champion"; "We Didn't Start the Fire" became "We Didn't Say Your Town Right" (which was a fundraising song)—and so far I've only mentioned songs done by John and Denny who were the hosts of The Morning Show for Family Life Network in upstate New York. 

Apologetix was the other big parody band from the 2000s that I remember. Among others, they ruined "Absolutely" by 9 Days by turning it into "Story of A Squirrel":

This is the story of a squirrel Who God preserved when He drowned the whole world And while things looked so dark and Noah's ark was absolutely flooded Yet she's fine

You can look them up if you need a good laugh (or a good cry). 

The thing is, I never know when one of these songs is going to blindside me. I'll just be walking through a store, and suddenly my brain will be singing "this is the story of a squirrel" and it'll get stuck in my head for hours. Mental shrapnel, like I said. 

I find find that these moments trigger a very special kind of rage. 

Because here's the thing: most christian music sucks. And the originals of many of these songs are absolute historical pieces of art. American Pie? Bohemian Rhapsody? Sounds of Silence? As a reasonably musically talented kid, these songs were incredible to 11-year-old me, who only really had hymns and Michael W Smith for comparison. They were some of the best songs I'd ever heard—catchy, interesting, complex. 

And christians ruined them. 

I get it too. I get why they did it. I like Word Crimes by Weird Al a million times better than whatever the original is. And it makes sense christians might want actually good music but with lyrics that didn't offend them. I get it. Like, I remember how shocked I was when I heard the original lyrics to Mambo #5 lol. So yeah. I see the logic.

It still sucks.

It's a bit of joke now between me and my spouse. A song will come on a playlist or in a TV show, and suddenly I'll be singing some weird-ass lyrics that don't make any sense, and J will be rolling his eyes and teasing me. I usually laugh too.

But sometimes, instead, I'm struck with this deep, abiding sadness. That something as simple as culturally relevant music was ripped away from me because it was "evil." J can sing along to music with his parents, grandparents, aunts & uncles, cousins & friends, and coworkers, no matter their age—simply because he was allowed to listen to the radio. It's a shared experience, a bridge, a way to establish connection between generations, between strangers, between friends. 

And yeah, of course I've now learned most of the originals. I can sing along too. But it's not the same. It's not a memory I have from childhood, of listening to the radio or having my parents introduce me to their favorite musicians or recalling the song played at my senior prom.

Everyone else isn't just sharing music. They're sharing memories. They're sharing nostalgia. They're sharing emotion. 

And I'm over here stuck with "this is the story of a squirrel..." 

[ifitistobeitisuptous]

I blew up a close relationship this week.

I need to talk about it. I need to grieve it, especially since I killed it. I know you don't need to listen, so I'm putting it all under the cut.

be warned. It's long. Very fucking long.

OK. I'm chatting with a beloved friend a week ago. I'm sleep deprived and behind on my meds. This is very relevant as you shall see.

We have a confusing interaction where I accidentally hurt their feelings. They say we should end the conversation there because things are too weird. I think they have left the conversation entirely, but I find out today they were showing the interaction to a 3rd party to get their opinion on what happened.

Meanwhile I'm panicking because I'd accidentally hurt someone who I love. So I delete any messages that might have been "the cause of the hurt" like an idiot cause a) they are still in the chat and call me on my destroying evidence and 2) I'll never able to point to the exact words I said and carefully explain what I meant.

My panic intensifies and I leave the chat and come back to tumblr where I send them a long message apologising and explaining, while still spiralling into a worse headspace. They tell me to get some sleep.

But I don't.

I'm getting suicidal. Yes I know that is not a rational response to the circumstances. Sleep dep is NOT good for my mental health. And hurting the feelings of someone I care about is a huge suicidal trigger for me.

So I write what is clearly a suicide note. And post it here on this blog. I address it to no one, a generalpost about how shity I feel. I don't even realise it's a suicide note to halfway through it. I don't mention the triggering events, and I say in the tags that it's no ones fault.

I go off and take a (safe) amount of sleeping pills with a (safe) amount of rum. Because even though I'm in distress I know that it's 80% sleep dep, and I can fix that if I self-medicate hard enough.

I come back about 5-10 mins later and delete the suicide note. It had no notes so I hopeful noone saw it.

I put up an apology letter to anyone who did see it, because I don't want to traumatise my followers. And after about 30 mins I take that down, because it too has no notes and I don't want to worry anyone.

I'm starting to calm down and level out, and about 2 hours after I last talked to my friend I go back to send them another apology with the promise that I really was going to sleep now.

Message can't be sent. Blog doesn't exist.

They'd blocked me without a word. I don't know when except sometime in the last 2 hours.

I don't know their mental state. Can't know. I'm worried. I know they also have suicidal issues, so I'm hoping they just blocked me to protect themselves.

I pop back over to discord to let them know I'm OK now. But they'd stopped me messaging them on there also.

Fuck. I had no other contact for them, so I had no way of checking on them to see if they are OK.

Days pass. My worry over them doesn't.

It builds.

5 days I wait. No word.

I'm hurt, but understanding. Their mental health is more important than our friendship. But I can't know the state of their mental health. I was hopeful every time I saw that I had notifications, that maybe they'd re-followed me.

I'd previously reblogged something from one of their mutuals, one I knew they were close to. So I dug through my old posts till I found it, and thus their blog name.

And so I searched their blog for any signs of my beloved friend. And saw they'd interacted 3 days earlier and my friend seemed fine. That should have been enough. If I'd found no evidence of interaction that MIGHT justify some of my following actions. But as it was I... well.

It wasn't enough for me. I made a fake account. A pretty obvious one. Shit, the bio was "stalker". I thought that was a lot less weird then spending the time and emotional energy to craft a believable account. No, none of this is healthy.

I used the sockpuppet to look over my friend's blog. They were posting normally as if their life hadn't had a hole ripped in it. So I followed them with the obvious fake blog. I wanted to get caught I guess. Provoke a reaction. Have them acknowledge I still existed.

They blocked the fake blog without a word.

At this point I'll remind you, gentle reader, that I'm here to explain and mourn, not to try to justify any of my actions.

So yesterday (when sleep deprived again due to a dieing pet) i followed their mutual's blog. With my fake account. I don't even consider following with my actual account, which perhaps might have made sense. Perhaps not. Still pretty stalkery to follow a blog for the sole purpose of seeing when they publicly interact with someone who obviously doesn't want to talk to me.

I still believed if we could just talk I could clear everything up and we could be friends again. Maybe never as close friends again, but they were such a ray of light in my life, I'd hoped to see some of that light again.

But I got their attention. They was angry.

They were angry that I'd deliberately insulted them a week ago, then threatened to kill myself because they'd stopped talking to me. Now as you had read above, that's not how it went down on my end, but now I understood why they had blocked me without comment. If I was who they thought I was being, then yes, block me into the sun. I'd deserve it.

So i felt hope. If I could get them to understand the insult was accidental, that the suicidal thinking wasn't about their actions but mine, that I wasn't trying to manipulate some response from them, then maybe we could fix this.

But of course that wasn't all.

They were also enraged that I'd stalked them and their friend... which yeah, I really had no excuse for. But I still thought that if they could see the first part was a misunderstanding, then a little light stalking is forgivable.

But they couldn't believe that I was innocent of the first part, since I was so clearly guilty of the second. And as they said, they were there a week ago, they knew I'd insulted them then suicide baited them to get them to keep taking to me. And they blocked me again mid my protest.

It could have ended there. It should have ended there.

But I knew. If only I could explain they'd see it was all a big misunderstanding.

So, with the fake account still (God know why?!), I compose an ask to their mutual. And again I'll stress, this is me saying what I did, not what I should have done.

Unfortunately as it was an ask, not a message, I don't have a copy. But it started along the lines of "if you think it would be ok, can you pass this on. I understand and accept that you might ignore it or, block me and that's a fair response."

And so I apologised. I accepted blame. I accepted this was probably the end of our relationship. But I also tried to explain how it was a misunderstanding. And I don't even remember if I addressed the stalking bit. I did say I was never going to log into that fake account again.

then I took a nap. I'd done all i could to mend the relationship (or at least end it with dignity), and I honestly didn't expect a response. Either because the message didn't get passed on, or because my former friend agreed it was the end and didn't contact me again. It was a message in a bottle, cast into the ocean.

I woke to 28 messages.

Threats of police re stalking. 9 messages just with the words "text me". Yelling at me, calling me a coward and immature for not responding. Calling my behaviour disgusting.

and I had been re-blocked. So I couldn't respond.

OK then. That hasn't gone as expected, because I'm an idiot for expecting unrealistic things.

So I spend about 30 mins to find their friends blog again (because I'd forgotten the name), this time with my real account, as I'd said I'd never log into the fake account again.

So to send a quick ask, for them to pass on, that I was asleep and not ignoring their mutual. And could they unblock me if they actually want a response.

Ghost blog. The friend had blocked me also. And fair enough.

But it left me with a problem.

I didn't want to find another friend of theirs and ask them to pass on the "I need to be both unblocked and awake if you want me to reply" message. Even I knew that was too creepy.

So I pinned a little message saying that to the top of my blog thinking that you can't look at blog you have blocked, so there was little chance of them ever seeing it. And thus little chance of me hearing from them again. Can you look at blogs you've got blocked? I've only blocked porn bots and never gone back to check.

Now I had thought that the next time they messaged me was because of that pinned post, but I've been reading over the messages as I'm writing this and I've come to the realisation: they sent me the 28 messages before their friend had passed on the letter to them.

So probable order of events

I sent a letter via their friend -> they message me out of the blue 28 times then reblock -> i pin a note to my blog -> they receive the letter I sent via the friend -> they message me again to yell about that letter.

OK that makes more sense based on what they said.

Anyway. They yell at me. Again. Understandable now as they just got the letter. But they say I'm suicide baiting them, Again!? Now I really wish I had the letter so I can try to see how they came to that conclusion. I mean, maybe because it's tone is of a goodbye (as I think I'll never hear from them again). I'm just confused on that one.

They demand I delete the fake blog. I try to insist I never once suicide bated them. They don't care anymore. They declare the letter via the friend was the last straw and they had now no hope the relationship could be recovered. Which was surprising as I'd thought they were long past that point by now. It was sad but I think I needed to hear them say that.

I said goodbye because I knew they were about to block me a final time. And I said I'll go delete the fake blog. After which they blocked me before I'd finished typing "I'm sorry" again.

So. I'm glad I got to talk this out. It was therapeutic and allowed me to examine myself and my bad decisions. I almost hope none of you read it. I'm going to leave it here, however, as a warning to others to not get to close to me. Or at least make sure those who do know how fucked up I am.

I do want to hear comments and criticisms, sympathies and condemnations. Of me only. No criticism of my former beloved friend.

[bonesandthebees]

hi there! i've never sent an ask in before so i'm not entirely familiar with how it's supposed to be done, but here i go anyway lol

you are genuinely such a talented writer! anytime i read one of your works, new or old, i'm blown away by just how well it flows and how authentic and consistent the characters are. as someone who also writes fanfiction that is an incredibly useful skill, and one that i really love to see in others work because it makes it so easy to become engrossed in the characters and the storyline and feel like you're right there beside them, experiencing the fictional world in tandem.

i'm writing this immediately after reading the latest chapter of a glass divine, and let me just say i'm adoring this fic already!!! sci-fi fics are my bread and butter and i absolutely love seeing the worldbuilding that has already been laid out especially with the religion aspect that is going on in a glass divine. the worldbuilding is very distinct from anything else i've read, especially regarding the pythia and all of the regulations surrounding him--from the blindfold to having to leave his name behind when he took up the old pythia's mantle. i imagine that it must have been a really hard transition for the pythia when he was young (especially seeing some of the flashbacks in the latest chapter, it seemed like he was taken against his will).

as well as the history of the deathlings--i think it's so cool!!! they've all got such cool cybernetic enhancements (just thinking about them gets me really excited because i think engineering is really really awesome dskjdfjgsdff) and i think it was really cool to include how the cybernetics, while they are enhancements and can make one stronger, aren't always perfect and can sometimes even prove to be a hinderance (especially when it comes to tommy's cybernetic lungs. sam mentioned that they weren't his best work because he was in a hurry, and while they do operate well, they aren't perfect.) as is with all machines--none are perfect, since they are constantly improving and evolving, and as time goes on and newer, more efficent ones are created, the older ones will become less and less relevant (again, seeing as tommy said they'd worked for him "all these years" makes me wonder just how old the lungs actually are. and on another note, even if they were sam's best work at the time, after so long they'd be outdated as he might have found ways to build a more efficent set of lungs later on.) it also makes me curious as to why tommy would need them in the first place, though i suppose i'll just have to wait and see to find that out!

the next fic on my reading list is stars, which i read the first few chapters of forever ago but fell behind on reading for some reason. i'm super excited to read it!!

but anyway those are all my rambles for now lol. hope you have a great day :D

-⚡️(i'm putting an emoji down just in case i send another ask in the future lmao. i hope no one else has used this one)

Oh thank you so much this is so sweet!! It means so much when people point out character consistency because that’s something I put a lot of effort into. I love figuring out how to keep a character true to their original form while throwing them into so many different worlds and changing parts of them accordingly. It’s just such a fun exercise for my writing skills.

(Also for posterity this ask was sent before I posted chapter 5 of glass sorry for late answer)

I’m so glad you’re enjoying glass so far!! It’s such a fun world to play around in. I’ve always wanted an excuse to worldbuild some heavy fictional theology, and I’ve also always been fascinated by the concept of oracles/prophets in fiction. Fun fact, the original inspo for glass came from an OG story I came up with years ago based off a dream I had about an order of priestesses who received visions of the future from their goddess. Anyway I’ve had a very fun time throwing that into a cyberpunk setting and playing around with the sci fi elements and connecting it to the religious themes

Oh it was definitely a hard transition for the Pythia and we’ll learn more about what he went through soon

I’m having such a fun time with the cybernetics. One of my favorite parts of cyberpunk worlds are cybernetics, but I get annoyed when it’s often treated like just a normal limb/organ when it’s still a prosthetic replacement. Just because it’s high tech doesn’t mean it’s perfect! I definitely have taken some ideas with the difficulties for the cybernetics from FMA and how it handles automail. While automail is a fantastic mechanical prosthetic, it still comes with issues which we see talked about in the show/manga. Going into cold weather is dangerous, his automail gets destroyed regularly, he has phantom pain from his lost limbs, etc. It’s not perfect and that’s what I love about it. So I’m trying to convey a similar idea with the glass cybernetics.

You’re completely right about the lungs. Even if they were Sam’s better work, technology is constantly advancing. They’re out of date even if they were done with more time and materials at hand. You’ll find out more about why he got them soon enough :)

Oh I hope you enjoy stars!! It’s certainly a ride lol

Welcome to the anon club!

[catchingbigfish]

🤔

🤔 - What's the inspiration behind my WIP

ohhhh thank you for asking! i kept promising to eventually make this post for So It Goes but never got around to it because i felt like it was verging on trauma dumping to do an unsolicited breakdown of this. i'm going to go into the sad stuff at the end, but it's under a cut! @indecentpause, @thelittlestspider, and @brazenlip also sent this emoji so tagging for ref!

so, first off, i read Slaughterhouse-five by Kurt Vonnegut in middle school. one of the perks of growing up in Indiana is that you're really hammered away at about how important Vonnegut is (he was an Indianapolis native) and there's even a super cool museum about him. i was blown away and absolutely loved it. it was required reading later in high school and i loved it then too but yeah, it was a huge impact on me. the reason this is relevant is because throughout the novel, whenever someone or something dies, he writes, "So it goes." just like that. and the first time i read it and came to the scene where (iirc) someone throws a paper ball and it misses the trash can, and he says, "So it goes", i burst out laughing.

this also factors into the Sad Girl Shit you'll read in a second if you're curious, but i might be the world's biggest mac miller fan. not really, but i actually was in his like top .5% of listeners in 2020 on spotify, so close. his song So It Goes factors into the sad shit, but i just love the song.

okay so i'm going to write the rest of this under the cut and specify a content warning for potentially upsetting topics related to deaths of relatives and friends!! just a heads up for anyone who's sensitive to that. i'm totally comfortable talking about this and i don't need anyone to tell me how sorry they are for me -- it's just a matter of fact now and i'm totally used to talking about it, but i feel bad when i share it with people and they get sad because of me. you don't need to!! i'm fine!! don't be sad on my account!!

alright so historically speaking i've dealt with like… a lot of death. most of it was clustered in my teens and early 20s, but without getting too far into the weeds i'll say i probably lost around 20 relatives and friends before i turned 22, and i lost my dad when i was 21. only a handful were due to illness/expected, the vast majority were accidents, overdoses, and violence related.

what really sparked SIG, though, is when a few years ago i was walking home from the bus stop after work and heard the mac miller song, then learned about a death.

before i move on, let me tell you about a friend of my sister's. i'm going to call him Isaiah, because that's why Isaiah-the-character exists -- this friend.

Isaiah was an absolute joy. sometime earlier in the year, i ran into him at his job, and it just filled me up with the warmest happiness to see him. you know those people whose existence just makes you feel a little better about the world? yeah. anyway, he was working at a starbucks and took my order and when i reached the window he gave me the goofiest smile and asked if i was who he thought, and i said yes, and he told me i should let him know it's me next time and he'll give me the family discount. it was sweet. i went home and texted my sister about it and made a joke about how i never want to find out if he did something wrong (we'd learned some dark shit about people in our lives recently) because i didn't want my memory of him tarnished.

so that day in 2019, probably close to a year after he served me coffee, i was walking home and heard the song coming from a car and felt a little uneasy (it's a sad song, considering mac miller's untimely death) and i got home and my sister called me, and yeah. Isaiah had died. he was shot, they still don't know why or by who, but despite how much death i've dealt with in my life that hit me fucking hard. it was right around the 5th anniversary of my dad's death and somehow, Isaiah's passing hit me harder than my dad's that year -- a testament to how much time had passed since my dad's death, but also a testament to how cruel i felt it was that Isaiah was gone. i told my therapist i felt like the world was a little sharper after that, like things were just slightly meaner. let me be super clear and say i wasn't Isaiah's best friend by any means; he was a close friend of my older sister, and i was often assigned to keep her out of trouble, so i was around him but not that close to him. but something about him just made the world feel a little lighter.

so, yeah! that's what happened. i came up with the idea for SIG in 2020, and it percolated over the years, and finally in nov 2022 i started writing SIG to purge all of the deaths i'd experienced and i knew from the start Isaiah's would be front and center. in the first draft, the final scene of SIG is an almost beat-by-beat remake of what happened in real life, up until marisa sees death sitting on her couch but embraces sophia instead. i needed to believe in that -- that even despite Isaiah's death, the world was still kind, and love still existed. it definitely does, by the way! like i said, i'm fine these days -- his was actually the last death i've experienced -- and i really don't need anyone to feel sad for me!

[wonkyreads]

The Stars Too Fondly by Emily Hamilton

2 out of 5 solar systems

Cleo McQueary is lost in life and absolutely obsessed with what happened to the crew of Providence I. Twenty years ago all 203 of them had simply disappeared and no one at NASA seemed to care enough to figure it out. Cleo and her friends, though, hatch a drunken plan to break into the space ship to puzzle it all out for themselves. The plot spirals out of control from there in ways the official synopsis doesn’t touch on so I feel obligated to leave out as well.

The Stars Too Fondly is marketed as a queer space odyssey rom-com and while I can see where they’re coming from, it (along with the mention of a heist) wasn’t anything like what I was expecting. I’d compare it to Becky Chambers’ Wayfarers more than just about anything else and it has too much heart to be distilled down into just ‘rom-com.’ I can see it being an absolute hit with the right audience. That audience just really wasn’t me.

First of all, this is very much science FANTASY more than the hard sci-fi I’d expected. I’m a chronic overthinker so every modern day pop culture reference and impossible piece of science magic sent me spiraling. And there was a metric ton of that. So, if you’re the kind of person who will wonder why TikTok and Thomas the Tank Engine are still relevant in 2061 or if a ‘food extruder’ would be super convenient or a hellish prospect for someone with celiac, then this might be a skip for you. I think I’d have had an easier time with all of it if Providence I hadn’t been launching a mere 17 hypothetical years from now when it seems people from 2061 had made little to no new scientific advances (despite so many kids purportedly having gotten obsessed with Providence and then going into STEM fields). And also if there was a single pop culture reference that wasn’t from 2019 or later. I care far too much about the logic of it all and this is a book that requires the reader to largely just go with the flow. It is intentionally silly and often requires a hefty suspension of disbelief.

Because I am nothing if not nitpicky, a couple smaller things that made it difficult for me, personally, to stay within the narrative: Sometimes conversations lacked dialogue tags and it tripped me up every time. This is about a group of 20-somethings, but it absolutely leans very YA (by which I mean I haven’t read someone sticking out their tongue so often since fanfiction in 2010 but also the cadence of the writing/narration is very bright and young and often immature). I just cannot pinpoint why the formatting chosen for this novel didn’t work for me. It flips from a close third following Cleo, to old Providence I reports and private messages, to a [REDACTED FOR SPOILERS] perspective rapidly within each chapter. Usually I love having multiple weird perspectives, but I think there was a lack of separation, especially at the beginning, that got under my skin as a reader.

Probably the biggest issue I had over all was honestly a marketing problem where huge parts of what the plot of this book is about were fully left out of any synopsis I read before or after. I was honestly so excited to read this book (between sapphic space heist, the title, and the cover I was so sold) and I’d have never requested it if I’d known that it contained a plot point (plot gimmick, trope, ??) that I almost always dislike. For the record, it’s a totally fine plot point/trope and doesn’t require a content warning of any kind, I’m only not being explicitly clear about what I’m talking about here because they chose to leave it out of their marketing and I’m writing this review before the book is actually out. I’m trying so hard to avoid spoilers. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not holding marketing decisions against Hamilton, it’s just super frustrating in general.

I feel like I’m being so negative when I don’t necessarily mean to be. This debut was not all bad. Not in the slightest. I can recognize that it wasn’t meant for me. It didn’t focus on what I wanted it to and I went in with all the wrong expectations. It’s just that as someone who often reads reviews before I pick a book up, I want to get all the reasons I wasn’t 5-star in love with this out of the way first.

So now for some of the things done right: There’s what I can see being a solid romance here and beautiful found family dynamics. I enjoyed the diversity and the different places each character was coming from and how easy it was to distinguish where their priorities differed. There’s action sequences that fully drew me in. I love the inclusion of multimedia bits, especially the ones that give new information from an unexpected direction (I mean, the one that’s very clearly the abstract for a scientific article? So good!). There are ideas and themes here that I absolutely adore, like how far people will go for those they love and how easily power can corrupt an ideal and just the messy business of still having growing to do into your twenties and thirties and probably forever. I can absolutely see this book being loved. Truly and fully.

I’m just so utterly bitter that it couldn’t work for me.

[I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own. Huge thanks to NetGalley and Harper Voyager for this eARC.]

[dianight]

Fuck youtube

You type the title of the song you want to listen to on the youtube search bar.

The first result is an upload by a rhythm game channel with the full song. Exactly what you expect to find.

Then, covering 50% of the screen for no reason (we know the reason):

A shorts sections. The 3 dots won’t let you hide it, remove it in any way. Not for now, not “we’ll ask you later”. Send feedback. Lmao.

Scroll down 2 more videos. Oh, what’s that? ANOTHER shorts section. No way to remove it again. Send feedback.

Surely now I’ll get some results that have something to do with what I typed on the search bar right?

One autogenerated youtube song, and a music channel. Ok, what else. What do we see down there?

A “people also watched section”! Of course! What else can I possibly want when I type the title of a song on the search bar? Semi-related videos that other people who searched for the same song as me ALSO watched! What’s that? Oh, you wanted results of the song you searched for? But these are what youtube wants you to see. Sure, the real life inspiration for Kikuri is there, and a Bocchi the Rock! song too. A music video for Oshi no Ko? Yeah, yeah, totally relevant here.

Let’s see what else is there...

You know, we can play one of these spot the difference games. Which one of these videos is completely unrelated, out of place and painfully obvious paid for to show up on these results?

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If you guessed “【Lyric Video】結��バンド「あのバンド」／ TVアニメ「ぼっち・ざ・ろっく！」第8話劇中曲 “, you’d be correct! It is the only one showing a person outside. That one was easy.

Alright. Surely now we’ll get some video matching what I typed on the search bar.

Hey look. 5 videos that match what I typed on the search bar. It only took 2 shorts sections, 1 people also watched section and a few less related results.

Mmm. Not quite what I wanted. Let us scroll down a bit more.

A “for you” section. How kind. It’s not like I get vtuber clips recommendations constantly. Searing Exarch OST is a banger, but at this point youtube is just throwing shit at me to see if it sticks.

Of those +15 more:

7 are vtuber clips, the same 2 88Kasyo Junrei videos from above, the same Oshi no Ko video from above, 2 Akatsuki Records songs, a parody rickroll that I was sent a few days ago and 2 Bocchi the Rock! songs.

Let’s keep going.

Hey look who’s back after 9 (NINE!) videos, our friend the shorts section again.

Let’s ignore the tiny previouly watched section with a random english touhou song.

No more screenshots for now, but after 19 (NINETEEN) other results matching what I typed on the search bar, we get yet another shorts sections. YAY.

After that I kept scrolling for a bit, getting expected results for a while (50+ videos for sure, I was not counting) until I started getting “mommy hack” videos.

---

I am so fucking tired of platforms doing this shit. I search for X, give me results matching X.

Don’t give me a shorts section. Or 4. With no option to remove it or exclude from searches.

Don’t give me a people also watched section. I don’t care. I am searching for videos related to the song, not to whatever other people are interested at this particular moment.

Don’t give me a for you section. That’s what the frontpage is for. I AM SEARCHING FOR A SONG. Don’t show me unrelated shit.

Don’t give me a previously watched section. That’s what firefox search history is for.

---

Capitalism must end, the US has to burn to the ground so that I can type a song on the search bar and find that song and little else.

[rinkrats]

🥺 that mike lange story. But also those tags #sid loooves christmas #he loves giving presents #looks good in red #piles on the pounds fast #post hockey career as santa 😂😂👌🏽👌🏽

he loves his mementos and presents and is COMMITTED to them. scrapbooking. matching jackets. little pills with hidden motivational messages~*~ his love language is gifts and neck smooches and stalking geno. relevant right now are some anecdotes i sent a friend earlier this year for dorky sid gifts fic fodder:

1. Crosby's constant thoughtfulness would be impressive from anyone, much less someone of his stature.

"Sid always texts me happy birthday, he's always asking me like, how's Russia?" Evgeni Malkin said. "We talk and message all summer. He asks me how my skates are. He knows, like, everything. He follows my Instagram, I think (laughs)."

In addition to having a handle on those little details, Crosby is constantly providing those around him with memories and mementos. If the team is on the road and goes, say, sightseeing or to a sporting event and takes a group photo, Crosby will later send a framed copy to everyone.

When Ron Hextall and Brian Burke watched their first Penguins game in person, Crosby is the one who approached head equipment manager Dana Heinze and asked for two used game pucks to give to the new GM and president of hockey ops. 

After the Penguins won in 2009, Crosby had jackets made for the three players on the team who had scored a Cup-clinching goal in Game 7: Talbot (Pittsburgh), Ruslan Fedotenko (Tampa Bay) and Mike Rupp (New Jersey).

"They were blue jackets with gold buttons, and each one had a patch on it that said 'GWG Game 7,'" Talbot said. "At one of our first team meals the next season, he presented us with the jackets and did a big ceremony with the music and stuff. We had a private room in the restaurant. I still have the jacket."

-The Consummate Teammate, Captain and Ambassador, Feb 2021

2. Merz: My first interaction with Sid was when we were on the bench, guys were talking about a teammate, and the first thing this 15-year-old says is, “Hey, guys. Let’s keep everything positive. Don’t talk about your teammates that way.”

Salcido: When we were getting ready for nationals, he found these little pills that you could put a hidden message inside. They unscrewed, and inside was a tiny scroll. He gave one to every teammate. … He had everyone fill one out. He didn’t tell anyone what to write, but he made it known that we all knew what the goal was: winning nationals. So we wrote on our scrolls, rolled them up and put them in the pill thing. We kept them with us everywhere we went.

-‘Is this real?’: Stories of Sidney Crosby’s year at a Minnesota prep school, May 2020

3. On “Butterfly Boy” Jonathan Pitre:

Though the Senators are his team, Sidney Crosby has always been Jonny’s favourite player. After the TSN documentary airs, Tina gets a call from the Penguins. Sid needs Jonny’s measurements. He wants to have a suit made for him by his personal tailor, Domenico Vacca.

“It’s the kindest, sweetest gesture,” Tina says. “Sid heard that Jonny went to a lot of games, so he wants him to look like he’s one of the guys.”

“I want him to feel like a pro,” Crosby says. “Here’s a guy who is going through something so painful, and his first thought is always, ‘How can I help others?’ When I was young, I’d watch on TV the players coming to the rink in their suits. That was a cool part of being an NHL player. I want him to feel that, to make it as real as possible for him.”

Tina tries to discreetly measure Jonny while she’s changing his dressings. But he’s way too smart for that.

“Um, Mom, why are you measuring me? Am I going for surgery again?” he asks.

“No, no!” Tina replies, trying to reassure him and come up with a good lie, all in the same breath. “The doctor needs them just to make sure they have proper dressings next time you are in.”

A few weeks later, the sharp navy blue suit shows up at their front door, along with a couple of ties, an autographed stick and a handwritten letter from Sid. 

“His eyes just light up,” Tina says. “Jonny always liked to be well-dressed, and he just loves having his own suit. It fits perfectly. He looks so good in it.”

-Beauties by James Duthie (2020)

4. Pascal Dupuis inspired his Pittsburgh Penguins teammates on their run to the Stanley Cup, and Sidney Crosby found a special way of driving that message home.

Dupuis retired in December with lingering health concerns because of blood clots. Despite his NHL playing days coming to an end, the veteran forward remained an integral part of the Penguins and was in uniform to hoist the Cup after Pittsburgh's six-game win against the San Jose Sharks in the Stanley Cup Final.

On Sunday, Dupuis brought the Cup home one last time as a player to share a special day with his family, friends and hometown fans.

"Yes, it does feel bittersweet a little bit," Dupuis said. "You get the Cup, you want to celebrate. But at the same time I got a gift by the mail [Saturday]. Basically, it's a book of all the pictures of all the good stuff we went through. It came from Nova Scotia, so you guys can figure out who it came from (Crosby), but he couldn't give it to me during the season, he saw me skating a little bit.

"And he sent it [Saturday], before my day with the Cup, so he knew what he was doing to get me right here," Dupuis said, putting his fist over his heart.

-Pascal Dupuis shares Stanley Cup with family, friends, Aug 2016

5. In 2011, Crosby was out of the lineup with a concussion, and the Penguins made their annual visit to Children’s Hospital.

Crosby got along so well with one boy there and was so touched that he later asked Bullano to go back... just the two of them, no cameras, no attention.

When Bullano and Crosby met for the follow-up visit, Crosby appeared clutching a pair of Toys “R” Us bags, filled with a Transformer toy the two had discussed.

“He literally bought every type of this toy they make,” Bullano said. “[Crosby] had never seen it before and thought it was so cool.

“There are no pictures of this. There’s no video. He was laying in the bed with the kid. They were just playing. We were there for over two hours. I got to know the mom really well because we were just sitting there.

“The kid had no idea. Didn’t expect it. They had no idea he was coming. We got there and he said, ‘Hey buddy. hope you don’t mind that I came back.’ The kid couldn’t believe it.

“[Crosby’s] crazy cool about stuff like that.”

What’s crazy is trying to recount the many times stuff like this has happened with Crosby:

• The Little Penguins Learn to Play program has been around for nine seasons, outfitting now 1,200 kids with free head-to-toe hockey equipment. Not only does Crosby serve as the face of the program — which the NHL has now adopted — but he helps fund it, too.

“There’s an awareness of what a person in his position can bring,” Penguins vice president of communications Tom McMillan said. “I think he activates that as much as anybody I’ve seen during his playing career.”

• After a recent practice, Crosby noticed a local family in the Penguins dressing room, approached them, introduced himself, learned their story and wound up giving them a signed stick.

Nobody asked Crosby to do that, and he wanted zero credit when discussing it a couple days later.

“For people who have the opportunity to come in here, people dealing with certain things, if you can brighten their day a bit or spend some time with them, it’s something that’s special for all of us,” Crosby said.

• A few years ago, through a team charity event, Crosby befriended a 4-year-old Amish boy with cancer. Crosby remarked to Bullano how much he loved talking to the boy because of how engaging the boy was and how he wasn’t consumed with technology. Crosby even tried to visit the boy but learned he had passed away.

• He learns the first and last names of the kids who attend his hockey school in Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia.

“Two kids came from Japan its first year,” Bullano recalled. “He was so blown away by that. He couldn’t wait to meet them.”

• Earlier this season, the Penguins welcomed Grant Chupinka, 24-year-old cancer patient, into the dressing room. Crosby chatted up Grant and his parents, Steve and Kim.

He spent his usual time — about two or three times the requirement. Gave the tour. Then found out the Chupinkas didn’t have tickets for that night’s game and decided he would pay for them to go.

“I’m sure he could just give them an autographed puck or something, but he takes his time to go out and see them and talk to them and get to know them,” Brian Dumoulin said. “It speaks volumes for him and who he is as a person.”

Spend any length of time with Crosby during his visits with those less fortunate, and a few things become obvious.

One, Crosby is really good at these. Smooth but not in a slimy way. Sweet. You know how when you’re around someone talking and they go out of their way to make eye contact with everyone around? That’s Crosby.

He’s also humble, always introducing himself like those he’s meeting don’t already know. Holding a hand is no issue. And Crosby is the rare 20-something pro athlete without kids who acts every bit like he does.

“It is not an easy situation to talk to someone with terminal cancer,” McMillan said. “A lot of people couldn’t do that. He has an amazing ability to do that and make that person feel good.”

Crosby has welcomed several Make-a-Wish kids and tries, if at all possible, to schedule such events for practice days — to maximize the time he’s able to spend.

He’s developed a special friendship with Patrick McIlvain, a soldier who nearly died when he took a bullet to the head in Afghanistan. McIlvain actually does physical therapy with one of Crosby’s sticks.

A former club hockey player at Cal U, McIlvain comes by every year, and the Penguins don’t even bother to tell Crosby. Either he already knows or immediately stops what he’s doing to come say hello.

“He’s not doing it to leave a legacy,” said Terry Kalna, Penguins vice president of sales and broadcasting. “His numbers leave the legacy. He’s just a down-to-Earth, good guy.”

Before a visit, Crosby has Bullano email him what is essentially a scouting report on who he’s going to meet. He likes to learn about them, their situation and what they’ve been through. As much information as he can ingest. Crosby never just swoops in, shake a hand and leave.

“As much as anyone has ever seen, he accepts the responsibilities of being not just a professional athlete but a star professional athlete,” McMillan said. “He views it as part of the job. Like coming to the morning skate. That’s just what you do.”

Put another way, “he owns those moments,” says Kalna.

Said Bullano, “He’s just a good human being.”

-When it comes to giving, Sidney Crosby does as much as he can, Feb 2017

6. When Crosby received a generous signing bonus on his Reebok deal, he wanted to share it with everyone.

“He gave everyone on the bus gifts,”  says Oceanic radio commentator Michel Germain. “Him sharing his bonus with all the people he’d been travelling with for two years, that impresses me greatly. I think the most important thing about Sidney Crosby is his personality and the kind of human being he is. What he exuded. The inner richness he’d already developed.” 

-Superstitious and generous, Dec 2006

7. also this simply because it makes me ;w;

Even in defeat — no, especially in defeat — Sidney Crosby proved why he wears the "C" for the Penguins.

After the game, with his heart sinking and his season over, the Penguins’ captain bent over, sank to the ice to pick up the puck, took it to linesman Tony Sericolo and then skated to his team’s handshake line.

I immediately thought of a View from Ice Level I’d written on Crosby making sure a retiring official was sent away from PPG Paints Arena properly. I knew picking up the puck wasn’t for the same reason that was, but I also knew, in some way, it was connected to Crosby’s awareness and respect of the game.

“It was for the Islanders,” Crosby told me after the game, his eyes swollen from a first round exit – by way of a sweep to make it worse. He told me how the winning team always wanted the puck, and it was his way of providing it for the Islanders.

Crosby looked me right in the eye as he told me this, just as he did with every other member of the media to come to him after the loss.

I could tell from those swollen eyes and the way he sat at his stall, by himself with his hands folded as he stared blankly, that Sidney Crosby is much more used to being on the receiving end of a puck when a series ends than he is at retrieving it for the winning team.

That scene. His swollen eyes. Staying in the locker room until most had left – talking to anyone who needed him. Most of all, though, picking up the puck that prompted my question in the first place and making sure the right people got their piece of their own history.

It all adds up to one thing: In victory and in defeat, Crosby respects the game above all else – just as he’s always done.

-Even in defeat, Crosby shines, April 2019

[mrs-heelshire]

Cheating Tsukishima Kei

Warnings : Cheating case / Screaming / Verbal fighting / Heartbroken / Domestic violence

Pairing : Tsukishima Kei x Y/N

Y/N and Kei have been a couple for almost 5 years, you’ve known each other since the very first game of the Karasuno volley-ball team against Fukurodani. You were the manager of Bokuto’s team. It was love at the first sigh, getting even more and more close and in love the more you both exchanged text by phones. You’ve known each other for almost 10 years, and started living together more than 4 years ago. 

It has been a year and a half that he started getting distant. You knew why, her new assistant at the museum, but you refused to open your eyes on what was truly happening. No, Tsukishima truly loves you, he could never cheat on you. No, it was only an annoying whore who was clingy onto him, trying to take him away from you. No ? Well that’s what you tried to make herself believe. Tsuki spent most of his time at work, 6/7 days a week, often finishing late in the night.    

Anyway, today was your 5 years birthday and Tsukishima was supposed to take his day off to spend all the day and night together. You have prepared so much for that day to make it the more perfect it could be. All was supposed to be perfect.. Except that you never thinked of waking up alone in your bed.

As the sunlight comes to caress your face, you slowly open your eyes with a soft smile on your face. Finally, that was THE day. Your 5 years anniversary. You were so happy. Wanting to hug your boyfriend, you suddenly froze as they didn't feel him nor see him in the bed. Maybe he was already up ? You thinked as you also woke up off the bed, making your way to the kitchen. But.. nope. Looking for him everywhere, he was nowhere to be found. That was now obvious that he wasn’t home.  

No.. it can’t be.. Thinked You as they reached your phone to try calling him.

No answer. You tried again. Still no answer. A third time. Still nothing. Completely lost, you decided to send him a text.

“Hey babe, where are you ?” 

As no answer was coming, You still decided to get yourself ready for the day. Maybe he just went out to grab breakfast or something like that. You hoped.. for nothing..

“At work. You know it. Don’t disturb me, it’ll only make me come home more late tonight. I need to focus.” 

The answer came an hour after you sent your text. Just coming out of the bathroom when you saw it, you couldn’t believe it. It took you some long minutes to understand that not only did he forget to take his day off, but he also forgot what day it was today. Coming pale, you wanted to throw up. How can he ? 

“I am sorry. Have a nice day.” That was all you sent to him back and nothing more came after that text. Nothing.

Spending all day crying, it was only in the afternoon that you decided to prepare a case. Not to leave forever your shared house but to scare him and maybe to spend some time far from him.. to.. actually you have no idea. You were just lost. Completely lost. 

It was 10pm when he came back home. You still haven’t eaten anything. How could you when you wanted to throw each time you thought of him forgetting your anniversary ? Waking up from the couch where you were watching a tv show to try to entertain your mind somewhere else. Still wanting him to explain himself, you barely have time to open your mouth when he cuts you off with a wave of his hand.

“Yeah I know, I am late. I got a lot of work to do today. Sorry. But thanks for not sending much text to..” 

“Today, our 5 years anniversary. Today, the day you told me that you’ll take off from work to spend it together. Today.. fuck why I am crying again ?” You cut him before your tears come to cut you.

“Ah ?” Looking at the date on his phone he shrugged his shoulders. “I forgot, sorry. Like I said, today was a big day at work. I didn’t mean to forget.” 

Completely frozen, you thought he was joking. He was joking there was no other way.. but you found it. You found the proof that finally makes your mind realize what you’ve been refusing to see. His tie wasn’t tied as usual, his shirt seemed wrinkled and not put under the top of his pants like he usually does but, the more relevant part was the hickey on his neck. A fucking hickey that he didn’t even take the time to hide. A fucking hickey that he was wearing so proudly.

“So you were actually cheating..” You mumbled still in shock but that sentence just made him even more angry that he already was.

“Oh now you think I’m a cheater ? What kind of psychosis phase are you in today ? Like I said many times, I was at work ! At work !” He started screaming at you. “Oh god I’m too tired for that shit !”

“Too tired ?! Fuck you Tsukishima ! You have a fucking hickey on your neck that this whore putted on you and yet you try to deny it ?!”

“Don’t call her like that !”

Wow, that was too much. You heartbroken fall into ashes. How can the man that you knew for almost 10 years act like that ? How can..

“So what if I am ?! I am so stressed from work can you understand I need someone to relieve it ?! Someone who isn’t a fucking push over like you ! God we live together already why are you harassing me to spend all of my time with you ? Babe can’t you understand that when I come home I just want to eat and sleep ?!”

“Excuse me ?! Don’t you fucking dare babe me ! I just can’t with you ! It’s a fucking hell ! Yeah, go in hell Tsukishima ! I’m done ! We are over !”

Grabbing your suitcase, you rushed to the door to just leave. You knew you would explode if you stayed just one more minute here with him. Face purple with rage, he grabs your left wrist to keep you here, making your heart stop for a second.

“Oh no you aren’t going anywhere ! We aren’t done ! I love you !”

Hearing him say that, after all he's done, that was too much. A way too much for you to handle. Slapping his face to make him let you go, you push him away to run back to the door.  

“Don’t you dare say those words to me ! Fucking cheater !” You scream before feeling hands pushing you outside, making you fall on the ground. 

Your hands and your knees bleeding, you were again frozen in shock. It took you a minute before realizing what just happened. Him, the one you thought who was in love with you, your own boyfriend.. he cheated on you, screamed at you, and now he has raised hands on you. That must have been a nightmare. A freaking nightmare. There was no way this was truly happening. 

“Fucking bitch ! Don’t act like you are the victim here ! You are the one who broke my heart and decided to leave me ! Go cry into another man's arms !” Shouting the door behind, he left you alone, crying and hurt just in front of what was your house. 

Ugly crying, you get back on your feet. You can’t stay here anymore, and you don’t have the strength to fight again. No, you just want to leave. But where ? It’s night, there is no more bus or train at this time, and you have no family living in the same state. 

Grabbing your suitcase with you, you decided to call a friend, hoping for him to answer..

How was it ? Should I make a part 2 ? Who should be her friend ?

[aquillis-main]

Misery Tastes Chapter 7

Alright, this fic’s going on another hiatus... for like, a day. XD

Mainly because I got work coming up tomorrow and today, and me posting this is already eating into my schedule. XD

Anyways, it’s time for certain relevations!

And the man of the hour is finally coming in, strutting his ego and love of eggs to the world...

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13(1/2) | 14

Chapter 7

Meanwhile, back at the Kintobor Manor…

Helen’s room was… different from Ovi’s room. Tails had thought it would be just as childish and messy as Ovi’s was, but no. Where posters plastered the walls in Ovi’s room, Helen’s had swords of all kinds - decorative, fencing, scimitars, katanas… Whatever the sword, Helen had got it. The room itself had soft pinks on the walls and blues on the ceiling, contrasting with the more militaristic and sparse decorating with the room. While the bed, drawers, and bookshelves were similar to Ovi’s, Helen’s own seemed more suited for work/sleep than anything Ovi had in his room.

Though the fluffy, faded carpet that Tails oddly found himself waking up on was interesting, the sounds coming out from the door caused him to forget the carpet.

“What’s going on?” Helen yawned out, getting up and stepping over Tails’ tails carefully. How Helen could even see with the lights off, Tails would never know. But he was glad she switched on the lights by the door.

“I dunno.” Tails stated, getting up from the floor. “It sounds like it’s coming from the kitchen.” He said as he pressed his ear to the door. Helen’s face twisted a bit, unsure about what’s going on.

“I kind of want to know.” Helen cheered, smirking a bit as she opened the door. She looked to Tails again, lips pursed over as she stared. “Well? Why don’t we get going?” She asked carefully. Tails shyly smiled at that, walking through the open door.

Tails and Helen snuck out of their shared bedroom, hearing voices further down the hall. Immediately, Helen was on instant alert, running off towards the sound, expecting Tails to follow. Tails, despite his misgivings, obliged Hope’s curiosity and followed after her, hoping to get things over with so that they could go back to bed. They were in matching pyjamas – Hope’s were dark red dragons imprinted all over it, while Tails’ had metallic blue dragons. Hope had decided to wear her neutral-fly chao shaped slippers, while Tails remained in his regular shoes.

“Hey, there’s something going on down there with your father, Helen.” Tails whispered, trying to avoid getting caught. Hope ignored him, causing him to get a bit irritated. “Hope, we shouldn’t be up right now.” Helen spung on her heel at that, irate that Tails would use her so-called brother’s infernal nickname for her.

“What, have you never gone against your parents?” Helen decided to say instead, though the anger of Tails calling her by the wrong name was evident on her scrunched-up face.

“… I don’t want to talk about my parents…” the fox whined, his ears flattening as he stated it. Hope stepped back in shock, trying to comprehend what that meant.

“Oh…” She started, then cursed under her breath for sounding too nonchalant. “Erm, I’m sorry.” She whispered, unable to make it higher, yet Tails saw her mutter out the words. As she was about to apologize properly, the noises from the kitchen got louder, causing the two to snap out of their moment. “Let’s listen in.” She growled instead, ending the conversation as Helen got closer to the balcony overhanging the kitchen. Tails sighed, but joined Helen at the railing.

The two got close to the kitchen area – decked out like a pristine 5-star restaurant kitchen, with every tool imaginable, and the floor space of a tournament cooking show – where Harold and another person were coming into the Mansion. The man was tall, had an extremely bushy mustache to compensate for his bald head, a red military jacket, and an egg-shaped body -

“So, Ivo, what brings you here? I sent Bella home just a few minutes ago.” Harold said as he opened the refrigerator, only raising an eyebrow as Ivo strolled past Harold.

“Harold, my old friend! Been keeping yourself busy with father-son bonding?” The egg-shaped man cawed, immediately strutting toward the bar stool, its harsh creak indicating it had been in this position many times as the man sat on it. Harold glared at the egg-shaped scientist when Eggman dodged his question, yet refused to sit, opting instead to stand on the opposite end of the island.

“Who’s that guy? He sounds… egotistical.” Helen asked, looking to find Tails’ face draining of color as he watched the scene.

“Wait, I know that man!” Tails nearly shouted, Hope gasping at the sudden loudness. “That’s -”

Helen slapped her hand onto Tails’ muzzle, keeping him from getting too excited as she listened in the conversation.

“– have you been, dealing with your son? You seemed pretty… upset about him, over the phone.” Ivo stated, accepting a glass that looked to be full of rum and eggnog in it. Harold, on the other hand, chose only water to drink.

“It wasn’t that I’m upset about him. It’s that he doesn’t want me. I can understand, considering what I’ve done to him.” Harold stated, drinking a bit from his water glass as Eggman took a full swig of his drink. The mustached man grimaced into the concoction - but decided to have another drink instead.

“Ah, the abandonment after Marian left, that’s what you’re referring to?” Ivo asked instead, drinking a small sip when Harold nodded.

“Yes… I can’t believe it’s been ten years since then...” The younger man seemed wistful at the mention of that name. “If only Helen knew her… She acts just like her mother, all stubborn yet head-strong…”

“Wait, I have a mum? That also left?” Helen was shocked at this – she just assumed she was some cloning experiment, or at least an adoptee of her father’s. She never had thought -

“It’s Dr. Eggman!” Tails softly blurted out, getting out of Helen’s slack grip and pointing toward the egg-shaped man.

“That’s Eggman? He really does look like an egg!” Helen stared amazed that the infamous Dr. Eggman. Before realizing how many of Ovi’s stories made sense now – how he got to meet Sonic, his first fight against the malicious scientist, the fact that he was sitting in HER HOUSE -

“Yes, and it seems that Marian still hasn’t been found. I highly think she’s -”

“It’s possible. Yet I don’t want to give up on her. Not until I know she’s gone. For Ovi and Helen’s sakes.” Harold stated, turning away from Eggman at that point. Helen was shaking, too many revelations were happening at once for her – she needed someone who would take it more calmly…

“Call Sonic… and Julian.” Helen spat out, looking at Tails with an intense stare. Tails immediately nodded, but then turned towards Helen with a shocked expression on his face.

“Huh, why?” He asked, wondering why Helen would want to ask her brother for help. However, the human didn’t recognize what the question was, and answered the one that he already knew.

“They need to know who's visiting Harold now.” Helen stated, turning towards Tails with a hint of finality. When she found that Tails was staring at her, she snapped out “Well? Get to it!” before turning back to stare at the scene.

“Yeesh, no need to get angry with me…” Tails grumpily tacked on - but did as Helen commanded regardless. It took two rings for Ovi to answer the phone.

Neither made any mention of her tacking on Ovi’s old name to her request. They had more pressing concerns.

“Yo, it’s Ovi -”

“Ovi, you got to come back! You won’t believe who’s in the Estate!” Tails cut Ovi off, an ominous feeling coming up his back. Would it be a good idea to bring Ovi into this? But he needed to know whom Harold was on good terms with…

“Who-?”

“Eggman.”

“… I’m on my way. Sonic, Neb-” Ovi hung up then, leaving Tails to pocket his phone away, biting his lips.

“They’ll be coming soon.”

“Good. They’ll be able to-”

“Do what?” Sonic squeaked out in between Tails and Helen, startling the human girl. The blast of air came in as soon as Nebula and Ovi settled in besides Helen, with the young girl panting to calm herself down while her hair was tussled in the wind.

“Hope, you okay? You look like you’ve -” Ovi’s mouth snapped shut as Helen put her hand over his face, turning his head toward the open-floor kitchen. “What -?” Ovi cut himself off when he looked over the kitchen area that Helen was pointing at.  “Oh…” Was all he could state as he saw the scene.

“No way…” Sonic could only look on in bemusement.

“I knew it!” Nebula hissed out.

“So he is here!” Amy couldn’t help but mutter, not believing her eyes.

“Harold?” Ovi looked aghast at the scene, unable to comprehend what was going on.

Eggman’s smirk seemingly got wider, as he pulled Harold closer. “It’s not too much of a worry, is it not? After all, your children will come around eventually!” the roboticist crowed, lifting the rum/eggnog combo up to over his head. “After all, it wouldn’t be good for them to come back more hurt than they already are, now would it?” His eerie suggestion rang out through the room, and Harold’s face was blank. No emotion, no idea what he was thinking.

Ovi growled at the scene, in disbelief about the scene playing out before him: Eggman, being chummy with Harold! To think, this is the worst thing the changeling found out about his father!

“No, he was never my father.” Ovi’s dark thoughts supplied, his world shutting down. ”Why would he talking to Eggman if he was?” With that thought, he immediately got up to run off. Nebula and Helen noticed his movements, and their eyes caught the changeling’s retreating back.

“Ovi, wait!” Nebula called out, but her calls were ignored as the changeling ran off. Before she could try to go after him, Harold’s voice rang clear in the room.

“…To think, I would even try to keep my children caged like that.”

“Oh?”

“If I try to keep them trapped like you suggest I should do, I won’t ever have them again.” Harold growled out, looking at Eggman into his small, round glasses. Eggman feigned surprise at Harold’s proclamation.

“But-”

“Don’t start with me, Ivo. I’m never going to do that to Helen. And now, when Ovi needs me the most… He’ll never forgive me if I do what you suggested.”

Eggman frowned, then cruelly smiled at Harold’s statement. “You’re right, my old friend.” The roboticist then gave Harold a pat on the shoulder with his hands – “Big enough to crush someone with.” Harold thought absently. 

“It’s not like I’m the one that needs to explain anything to your kids, since you’ve been keeping them in the dark on a lot of things.” Eggman then pushed Harold aside, not bothering to clear up his message as he walked out. As the egg-shaped scientist got to the door, he stopped- turning his head to look at Harold out of the corner of his blue eye.

“Harold.” Eggman said, tone analytical rather than the cruel voice he had moments earlier. “You might check in on some pests in the Belfry. I think you got too many ears in our conversation.” With that, Eggman left the house, causing Harold to turn around  to the upper floor balcony.

Just in time to see a slipper in between the rails of the balcony disappear into the night.

[lizlet]

Well, it’s been a while...

For a lot of things. Since I actively updated this Tumblr, for one thing — I think I’ve changed jobs twice in that time! (Now, post-freelancing, happily serving as senior entertainment editor at Consequence!)

But I wanted to reopen this dusty ol' place and clear out the cobwebs because, well, several years ago I started writing a novel about two young women building a robot boyfriend. A lot of stuff has happened since Tuesday, Dec 24, 2013 (the date I officially created the Evernote file where this story started) but relevant to this post are the following events:

Through a friend, I ended up connecting with an agent who got excited about the concept and the writing.

Said agent read a completed manuscript in... well, let's not get into the dates at this time (it was a while ago, though) and gave me a few big notes to address along with a lot of encouragement.

For a variety of personal reasons, those big notes took me... well, let's not get into the dates at this time, but let's just say a while to complete.

Okay, in the name of complete transparency, I was completely stalled out on it for a good five years or so, until I finally dug back into it in March 2021.

I highly recommend Scrivener, by the way!

And, well, The Artist's Way. (Yes, one might say that I joined a cult. It's a nice one, though, very lowkey and no wardrobe or orgy requirements. Still do my morning pages every day!)

Sent a new draft to the agent the day before my late April birthday (the deadline I set for myself with little hope of making it — still thrilled that I pulled it off).

The agent liked it!

He had notes.

But they were all good notes! And in the ensuing year I have gone from Draft 4 to Draft 5 to Draft 6 to Draft 6C to Draft 7 to Draft 7B!

And right now, Draft 7B is in the inboxes of several editors, thanks to my wonderful wonderful agent (I have recently signed an actual document which declares him to be not just an agent but my agent, so I don't feel as weird about saying it as I used to!).

And... we're waiting to hear what happens next.

The answer may be nothing, which is fine. I mean, rejection isn't fun, but this was never a project I pursued for the fame and glamour of it. Really, I just wanted to see if I could finish a novel, and I not only did it (arguably seven times over!) but I've once again come to really enjoy the process of putting down 500 words a day, every day I can, and seeing what happens as a result.

In fact, when I finished Draft 5B in August, I actually started writing a new novel, and as of today I'm about 56,000 words into the first draft and aside from the times when I feel like I'm running full speed into a wall without a helmet on, it's been a lot of fun.

That said, I won't be mad if eight years (okay, off and on) of hard work result in someone writing a check. So, as we embark upon this new phase in the life cycle of How to Build a Robot (Boyfriend), I figured I'd reawaken this humblr Tumblr to, at the very least, note the occasion. And watch this space for further updates (as well as, now that I'm going to attempt to be back on Tumblr, probably a lot of reblogged cat videos and yelling about TV).

And if you're reading this and if you've ever offered encouragement, support, a wry comment, notes, or even just a vague bit of interest in regards to Robot (Boyfriend) (or any of my other writing), please just know... thank you. No matter what happens next, literally could not have done it without you.

[tomdutch]

❥ rosy write-along.

hello, bubs!

like I posted a few days ago, I’ve been entertaining the idea of writing a oneshot with all of you wonderful people, and a few of you have told me you’re interested in participating so here goes! this isn’t a typical write along seeing as I’m the one who will write it in the end, but some of the same elements apply and I didn’t really know what to call this so let’s just run with it 😭

below the cut are the steps and relevant dates to participate, and I will be adding the links to the polls here + making a separate post for them when the time comes to vote! if you have questions about the steps and this idea in general, feel free to send me an ask any time :”)

❀ step 1: deciding on an AU ❀

this step is fairly easy: anyone who wants to participate can send me, via ask only, an AU or multiple ones. so an example of an ask would be “for the write-along: mob!tom or frat!tom” these are very generic AUs to demonstrate, so I hope y’all will send more creative and fun ones :”) I’ll also be adding a couple AUs from my own drafts unless someone else sends them in!

↳ date: may 21st to may 23rd @ 12 am est

❀ step 2: voting on an AU ❀

after you send in your AUs, I will compile them all on a poll and post it so that you can vote. the AU with the most votes wins and becomes the main element of our oneshot! please only vote once so the results are accurate!

↳ date: may 24th to may 27th @ 12 am est

❀ step 3: concepts ❀

to build the main plot of the oneshot, you can send me, again via ask only, concepts related to the AU we all chose together.

for example, something very generic, let’s say mob!tom wins in the poll. you can send an ask to say “mob!tom meets the reader at a bar where she’s working undercover as a journalist.”

I will respond to all of the asks publicly as soon as I get them so that everyone can see them, which is important for the next step.

↳ date: may 27th to june 3rd @ 12 am est

❀ step 4: choosing two (2) concepts ❀

instead of a poll, which would be too long, I’ll be using a note system for the voting. it’s pretty simple: if you like a concept someone has sent in, simply like (double-click or heart) the ask to cast your vote. the two (2) asks with the most notes/likes win and become the two main plot points of our oneshot.

↳ date: may 27th to june 3rd @ 12 am est, same as the earlier step, as I’ll be responding to asks as they are sent! (also happy tsh day in there)

❀ step 5: choosing a title ❀

another easy one! once we’ve picked the two main concepts, you guys will know roughly the plot of the oneshot and can send in title ideas.

↳ date: june 4th until 12 am est

❀ step 6: voting on a title ❀

I will compile the titles sent to me in a poll and post it so that y’all can vote. the title with the most votes wins and that is what we’ll name our oneshot baby.

↳ date: june 5th until 12 am est

❀ step 7: artist tings ❀

this part is not obligatory, but I do think it’s really fun because it gives us all a chance to be creative.

as y’all know by now, I make the banners and moodboards for my fics, but since this is our fic, I thought it would be really cool to use moodboards that you guys make instead of it being my decision only. obviously if you personally don’t want to make a moodboard, that’s perfectly fine, but I think it would be super fun to see everyone’s different interpretations of the fic based on the AU and concepts :”)

other than moodboards, we can make playlists as well! I usually make myself a little playlist to bop to while I write, so I thought maybe y’all would be inch rested in making one yourselves or suggesting songs you think fit the oneshot that I can add to my playlist which will be shared with all of you once we have voted on the concepts.

❀ step 8: writing ❀

that’s it for the interactive steps! now all that’s left is for me to actually write the oneshot, but of course y’all are welcome to keep sending me things about it and ask me any questions regarding it!

↳ date: starting june 6th for both step 7 + 8

[pizzolisnacks]

Fantasy AU hcs for non fankid OCs. Now /j

alright I can do that *cracks knuckles*

Emiko Kirishima

- Being a Kirishima, she is, of course, a Dragon Shifter (Dracodicti). - When Her and Eijirou's mother was killed (She was 12, Eijirou was around 6), she and Eijirou were separated, Eijirou getting sent to a labor camp and Emiko was sent to a breeding camp.

- Ofc, not being the kind of woman to roll over and accept her fate, Emiko remained a headstrong, survival-oriented bitch until she was around 18

- She organized a revolt against the Camp Foremen with her fellow Dragon Ladies (and babies) and they were successful!

- Tragically, this success leads to the Dragon Camp project being shut down and all remaining captive Dracodicti ordered to be executed, which they are (except for Eijirou, but Emiko doesn't know that yet).

- Believing all other Dracodicti to be dead, Emiko kind of just leads her small band of Dracodicti around the Island, rounding up any free or in-hiding Dracodicti, taking refuge in a dormant volcano somewhere in the Dragon Peak Mountains aka Bakugou Kingdom

- Emiko and Eijirou won't get to reunite until 5-6 years after Emiko's original revolt when Eijirou and his pals (bakusquad + dekusquad) hear rumors of Dracodicti in the Dragon Peak Mountains and they go to investigate, eventually catching up with Emiko at Eijirou's old labour camp where Emiko was paying respects to the dracodicti executed there. It's a lovely reunion with A LOT of tears

- a lot of drama happens after that but that's a story for another day :)

- OH ACTUALLY it is very important to me for you to know that she fucking despises Bakugou for all the reasons you'd expect. She actively encourages for Eijirou to break up with him and tries to kill Bakugou multiple times. Queen.

(Crap she was my only really Plot-Relevant OC hold on hold on gimme a sec uhhhhhhhh)

There's a "Cult"? (sorry I can't think of a better word to describe a bunch of Isolated Religious Zealots) That's like a whole bunch of OCs, right?

- So basically the worldbuilding of the Fantasy au includes the fact that Humans are not naturally magical and the inhabitants of the island that our Main Characters live on originally immigrated hundreds of years ago from an artic island up north, where there was No Magic. There were people who stayed behind on that island and are present-day, completely magicless and separated from the "modern-world"

- This aforementioned island is where King Endeavor banishes Rei to after she burns Shouto, so once Shouto becomes king (after a lot of drama involving Natsuo killing Endeavor and starting a war), he goes to try and get his mom back home

- Oddly, since she has ice magic and no one up on that island has had interaction with any sort of magic since the first dragon war (abt 75-100 years ago), she's been worshipped as a low-tier diety this whole time. Good for her?

- So when Fire-AND-Ice magic Prince Shouto rolls up with his INCREDIBLY MAGICAL friends in tow, these people immediately start worshipping them as basically gods, which is all fun and games until they refuse to let them Go Home and get their leader gets the idea in his head that if he kills one of the Magic-Users, he'll get their magic for himself - which is very much NOT how this works

Also I have a Villain Group that are not fankids but are originally made for the Born And Raised storyline, but they're here also? They become relevant in the Fankid Era of the Fantasy Au, but eh, still OCs

Basically, their whole Thing is that they're vehemently unhappy with the changes that Shouto, Bakugou and Tetsutetsu have made during their funny little adventures and since becoming kings (cough cough they're racist against Dracodicti). So, this groups main plan is to kill Shouto and become a ruling council of the Todoroki Kingdom (which they can do, legally, by Killing Shouto bc thats how the law works there) so they can do what Natsuo wishes he could've done and Destroy the Todoroki kingdom from the inside out by waging war against the other 3 kingdoms (Tetsutetsu, Bakugou, and Dragon Kingdoms) and if they end up destroying the other kingdoms and their fragile peace while doing so - Great!

Actually this one vine sums up their motivations pretty well

[themoonsbeloved]

People’s arguments against Leona being black lowkey reminds me of back when people would heavily debate and argue with their life that they’re was no way that Yoruichi from Bleach could be considered black. Or that Michiko from Michiko to Hatchin was not Afro-Brazilian. In fact now that I think about it people only seem to want to argue against someone not being a race due to not being human and etc when it comes to characters people see as black. And I noticed that almost entirely it’s when the black character is constantly considered attractive by the fandom that people debate if they have black ancestry which always got me rubbed the wrong way.

I found out your blog a couple of days ago and I’m honestly happy to see you also call out/see the mistreatment/bias against the POC-coded characters in TWST from the fandom compared to how some of the white-coded characters are stanned and excused for a lot of their actions.

I noticed when I got into TWST last idk November or December (I forgot when I got into it lol but I know it wasn’t long ago and that the 5th chapter with Vil was the current one) or whatever that a lot of people on Tumblr were inconsiderate of Jamil’s circumstances especially but would be overdramatic and overforgiving about the actions from the European/white-coded characters who basically had 1st world problems which tbh made me quickly distance myself from the fandom and really only engage on the level of reblogging fanworks and fanart on tumblr because it reminded me of how the Star Wars fandom would have people vilifying Finn/John Boyega but then woobifying and forgiving Kylo Ren for everything.

And as someone who is black it gets so uncomfortable to be in some fandoms because POC characters especially black characters tend to be demonized in fandoms but people will simp for non-POC characters who do things 10x worse. I don’t dislike Vil (though I haven’t caught up to ch 5 lol) but I know of some of the main things he did and I found it bizarre how some people on tumblr that criticized Leona’s actions in Ch 2 (while I don’t agree with some of his tactics the hypocrisy some people in the fandom give to him is really uncomfortable) were justifying Vil’s attempt to poison Neige like what 😐.

Anyways I am sorry for how long this is but I just wanna say I’m happy I found your blog because I used to think I was overreacting or possibly alone in noticing how hypocritical Leona was treated by people who stan Vil and how a lot of people in the fandom seem to not see anything wrong about that.

I still have no idea if this ask was ever sent to me, since I can only see this ask on desktop and not on the app (along with other random asks from deactivated accounts, which all appeared at the same time in my inbox just a week ago without any notification), but it seems relevant enough to be sent to me so I'll answer it.

Honestly have nothing else to add because you're pretty much spot on, though no one ever wants to have these conversations, and whenever I have brought it up there's a history in the fandom of getting attacked and told off for making people uncomfortable or getting angry at the 'inaccurate' understanding of their fave white character when the issues I've talked about precede anything to do with the characters and more on the environment of racial microaggressions (as well as overt forms) in fandom itself, not just in the twst fandom but all fandoms like you've mentioned. Or i've had anons insist its solely my duty to be the calm and collected educator and reserve all my emotional labour on issues of race for everyone else, or I'm too aggressive lol. I've always been vocal about the discomfort fans of colour experience in the fandom and the racism and bias in the fandom in general, but yeah.

No need to apologise for the long post! Whenever I get fans of colour telling me they've also felt really uncomfortable I never know what to say except I'm sorry, and you're not overreacting or overthinking it, you have a right to feel upset but we also have a right to a good fandom experience without constantly being uncomfortable. We all feel weird and upset having to scroll through the main tags seeing racially insensitive posts, and having to block 90% of the fandom until we're forced to be outcasted because there's nothing left. Or just the fact that Yana couldn't do anything differently but rely on the same racist and Islamophobic stereotypes around the Black African and Arab-coded characters.